#fans who prefer m/m *bc they themselves are gay* like shit

[lovelyrotter]

yknow i love transmasc/tboy dirk always and forever but the way some ppl treat transmascness vs transfemmeness in HS's narrative........kinda sucks. like the whole thing about how being transfeminine is a literal transient experience and lets the character in question (any character) truly escape the oppression of HS's narrative-as-a-character which is patriarchal and toxic (lord english, hussie-the-character to an extent. i guess. idk ive seen a lotta ppl lump SI-hussie in w/ this), which is great and does hold weight as an analytical lens esp with how hussie irl is nonbinary. but where does this leave transmasc characters. why are we treating (headcanoned) transfemme HS characters like this and then tbh gleefully dooming (headcanoned) transmasc characters to eternal narrative suffering brought by LE and then mocking them for being ''gross tboys'' full of ''icky testorerone'' so its their fault theyre in this perpetual torment really? because they ''''chose to be a man''''? dunno man its starting to feel bad. especially since some bnf's who are really into this fan theory do actually kinda treat the general idea of transmasculinity like somthing to hold with tongs at arms length away from them. as if its alien or infectous or something and then get really mad when equally dysphoric transmascs do the same with feminity. why are we dooming dirk strider to eternal toxic-masculine suffering and what does that say about how we treat real life transmasc folks both in and outside of the fandom

[dirtyrottenraskel]

my take on yueki's personalities

yue 

notes / personality

cocky (but also like understated confidence - r e g a l af) 

kind of a nerd

maybe a little entitled, and a little bratty and suki loves to indulge her or to rile her up depending on her mood

books

seems soft but made of steel

strong sense of duty

socially intelligent - can be manipulative and suki (the dork) thinks it is so hot 

aloof queen bee typa beat

supportive, both in ur day to day and in going after your big moral life goals 

deep water - steady and powerful, often underestimated

untold depths, private yet surprisingly nurturing - master of deflecting away from herself

political nerd - well read, and when she has someone she trusts not to take advantage of her, she goes OFF 

distrusting of most people, has been used and ignored and underestimated her whole life

patient - homegirl knows how to play the long game

excellent at pai sho / chess 

she and suki have epic battles of wits - dif types of strategy but both are really into it and get a little too competitive (multiple board games have had to be replaced over the years)

loves travel bc wasn’t allowed to much, esp when she was sick 

was super repressed growing up - never let her be herself or really have any sort of independence

used to sneak out and wander around in rebellion and casually sabotage plans and decisions she didn’t agree with 

introverted, many opinions but keeps them to herself, discreet but well spoken

weaponizes secrets and information - doesn’t often use it but...she could

definitlyyyyy worries and overthinks and re-evaluates - worries ab social politics a lot

obsessive about picking things - wants it to be perfect

shes growing into her confidence as a leader

prefers quite intimate places

incredibly romantic

classic lit

planner for the future - visionary

kind / sweet / gentle - yes, but that’s also her “front” to a degree (seriously, i feel like she gets painted as so sweet and submissive and one dimensional by the fandom a lot of times and it freakin kills me)

INFJ-T (The Advocate) ((yes this is from 16p which i know is not super accurate but u can still catch her overall vibes from it ya know)

Creative/insightful/principled/compassionate/altruistic

sensitive/reluctant to open up/perfectionist/prone to burnout/not a fan of the ordinary

friendships / relationships

(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)

sokka - puppy love crushes, laugh ab it now, get into deep late night talks about responsibilities and leading, water tribe culture, prank wars (no one believes sokka when he says yue is a mean prank master (expect suki comes to see it in action lol))

katara - <> badass women friendship, totally would go to matches and protests together, tough girl shit, waterbending practice/duels - start of cautious, but then get rough in a good way bc they trust each other, they do water tribe food adventures together

toph - indulges her chaos, bonding over stupid royal upbringings, odd yet weirdly endearing pair

zuko - both sort of standoffish gay royals, but once they come to see that they are friends - take up similar spaces though, so only hang out in a group or rarely by themselves, they do hang out at like political parties and stuff when they get more comfortable together

aang - <> he has an impressive world view, yue is super studied and well read, so she and aang nerd out over past cultures together, and also their peace keeping nature, they have tea together often - usually after she and katara wipe the floor w/ each other

clothing / aesthetic:

blues and pale colors

classy and understated wealth

like those cute feminine button down shirts

dresses

like cold weather classy

complicated braids

sort of soft girl aesthetic?

pleated skirts !!!

i feel like she would wear ethically sourced fur (i don’t wear fur but idk how to get it in an ethical way - maybe it’s just fake??)

knit sweaters and skinny jeans and heeled ankle boots

light academia !!!

hella funky earrings - to mark her native pride and also cuz gay

from my readings, tattoos have a lot of cultural significance for Inuit women, and so i feel like yue would totally have some (when she comes of age ofc) 

suki

notes / personality 

extroverted 

also very strategic 

more spontaneous tho - will totally calculate the odds in a spilt second in her head and then just go for it

like still a careful planner, but willing to say fuck it, yolo if it seems right 

reflects on her mistakes, but more in like a healthy way - unless it was a leadership mistake, then it eats her up inside - worries more ab keeping her girls safe and making the right call

likes lively places

total bashful romantic

manages the present and the short term - realist

loves to do lists 

a little punch happy - loves to make violent threats, but also does it out of excitement and she’s just a really physical person tbh

steady, can come off as stubborn and abrasive but she really just wants what’s best for everyone she loves

harsh on herself and worries about her girls a lot 

always ends up in the oddest situations 

totally would kick someone’s ass for being racist/sexist/homophobic/etc 

dedicated to her training and her regime 

not a great cook, but she can manage 

would drink monsters 

has a weird relationship with femininity - took her awhile to reconcile strength and toughness and being assertive and aggressive with also wanting to feel pretty and feminine and embracing being a girl and how those things can coincide and amplify each other

abandonment issues - parents absent/dead 

was imprisoned - obvi she had several almost successful escape attempts, but she got really close to breaking 

was incredibly independent really early, grew up really fast and tries to make up for that now by sometimes being reckless 

tough/assertive/woman of action 

dry sense of humor/sarcastic - not good at nickname/pun humor tho

practical/dedicated/strong-willed/direct/honest/reliable/loyal/patient

stubborn/judgmental/difficult to relax/difficulty expressing emotions/too selfless 

friendships / relationships

(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)

sokka - <>  man they’re like platonic soulmates - she beat him up, and now they spar all the time, totally funny and crack jokes all the time, go skating together, they do shitty art together, and then show their lovers after zuko and yue come back from their high society mixers, broke her out of prison, m/f friendship !!! 

katara - also sparring buddies (suki will throw down at any literally moment (and tbh so will katara)), not close but will hang in a group - go to each other for advice 

toph - <> listen these two wreak havoc together, they help each other out a lot, i feel like they’re shopping buddies (similar enough style to frequent the same shops) toph knows suki won’t judge her for wanting to feel pretty and suki knows toph will be honest, they are both blunt sarcastic assholes and get along like a house on fire 

zuko - <> shows zuko how to like,,,enjoy things (and how to let go of some of that pressure to be always right and the adult and in charge bc they were raised with so much responsibility on their shoulders even tho they were just kids)? she is also super protective of him (once she trusts him), one of the only ppl who can match suki fully in hand to hand combat, both do the Disappointed Parent Look when the group falls into chaos, but by themselves, the two of them end up in hijinks

aang- suki enjoys his optimism and they’re just chill bros, they love exploring abandoned placed together 

clothing / aesthetic

sporty and skater mixed 

ripped jeans, crewnecks, vans 

green and yellow and dark red 

gym clothes/athleisure - lifting style gym clothes - cut off t-shirts and bike shorts

skirts too, likes to play into femininity

she’s a gold jewelry kinda girl - but stuff that won’t hinder her movements 

necklaces that end in the hollow of her throat & occasionally rings

definitely cuffs all of her jeans (it’s just bisexual culture ya know)

so many crop tops - some came like that, some were more of a diy project

yueki’s relationship!!!

nerd/jock solidarity 

feel the burden of responsibility and the weight on their shoulders 

they create a safe space between them, full of trust and warmth and vulnerability 

yue will read suki sappy passages from poetry books while suki polishes her fans 

they slow dance in the kitchen a lot 

they get good at ordering takeout - and they have some weird decision making process that only they understand - bc neither of them are great cooks 

yue would feel jealous of suki and sokka, if it weren’t for how stupid in love sokka was with zuko and yue can see that suki really only has eyes for her 

yue is taller than suki and it amuses her to no end to pick suki up and carry her away from a fight (we all know suki could get away if she wanted to, but when ur hot tall sexy gf throws u over her shoulder,,,,,,u don’t complain)

joke they’ve adopted kataang and zukka, bc they’re all dummies, but in reality every last one of them is stupid LMAO 

they love to do each other’s hair and it’s like super intimate and really cute 

sometimes it’s these epic elaborate hairstyles and then at other times, they try to see how many ponytails they can fit on suki’s head and how many little braid yue can do 

they travel EVERYWHERE 

since yue is royalty and suki is her body guard,,,, well i mean, they totally have to see these kingdoms they are doing trade deals with in person 

it helps that they're friends with a lot of them 

they stay over in everything from camping so they can stargaze to ritzy hotels with hot tubs in the bathroom 

yue gives suki rocks she finds on all their travels and suki lines them up on their mantle around the pictures of them in increasingly weird locations 

suki loves guarding yue’s meetings bc she gets to watch her absolutely rip a new one into misogynistic old men and it never fails to bring her joy 

While yue doesn’t love getting attacked, the ruthless efficiency suki defends her with is like,,,,,stupid attractive 

[bthump]

I am curious why you don't like het pairings across the board since I ship both het and same sex pairings . I understand LGBTQ+ peoples' desire to see themselves represented in media , but I think that when it comes to fandom people tend to fetish same sex pairings especially mlm pairings and bashing female characters that get in the way of their ship.

I’ve done my fair share of navel gazing about why I hate 99.9% of het in media since I was a teen and I could write a long list of reasons that probably influence my preferences, like gender essentialism, the vast vast vast majority of creators being men influencing how they write women + het relationships in ways that offend me, the fact that it’s the default and my interests are often influenced by spite, the rote way it’s usually written, i hate 99% of the tropes that are usually associated with it, the fact that irl I have 0 interest in engaging in a hetero relationship myself and therefore can’t relate...

but yeah ultimately I don’t know or care or think it matters lol, the vast majority of het ships just do not spark joy for me.

And now, The Discourse, which I would love to put under a cut but apparently that’s just not in the cards right now, thanks tumblr.

please don’t reblog I guess?

I just like, disagree with the rest of your ask lol, sorry. And I know this is a very standard take in fandom so I’ll try to explain why I disagree. I appreciate you asking politely Anon and I’m hoping this doesn’t come across as too annoyed or anything - like I’m annoyed by the discourse in general lol, not by you specifically.

In my experience in online fandom the most female character bashing I’ve seen, and the most vicious, has come from fans of rival het ships, and regardless I don’t particularly consider “bashing” fictional characters to be much of an issue. The problem is when people do so in offensive ways (eg “she’s a slut” or w/e lol), and then the issue is people believing and saying offensive shit, not people hating fictional characters, and the focus should be on general awareness of what misogyny (among other oppressions) is and how to avoid perpetuating it in all areas of life, and not on declaring groups of fans problematic depending on which fictional characters they do or don’t like.

And sure, some majority m/m fans do bash female characters, and some do it in offensive ways, but I don’t think it’s at a rate higher than other het fans, or even f/f fans in the few fandoms with rival f/f ships ime, so it bugs me that people act like it’s an m/m fangirl thing.

I also think fandom discourse wildly misuses the term “fetishizing.” Fetishizing, in yk oppressor/oppressed contexts, means to reduce someone down to a single aspect of their being in a way that dehumanizes them. And like 99% of fanfic does the opposite, shipping is all about being invested in and exploring characters as people (or trying to, bc lbr it’s amateur fiction and writing fully fleshed out 3 dimensional people is a skill that amateurs can’t necessarily be expected to have perfected, which is a big reason discourse focusing so hard on problematic fanfiction is a waste of time lol). Someone who isn’t a gay/bi man getting turned on by imagining 2 dudes fucking and writing a story about it isn’t automatically fetishizatizing gay men, even if it’s a straight woman doing it, even if it’s 2k words of sex written to turn readers on.

Fetishization doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with sex - it can, but it can also be sexless. For instance, a gay character showing up in one episode of a sitcom to make limp wrist jokes, or a gay character showing up in one episode of a drama to die of aids and make you sad, is fetishization. Conversely a pwp about say Guts and Griffith fucking after a battle or something is almost guaranteed to have more care and consideration for the emotions involved and characterization, because the people who are inclined to write that are already invested in the characters as characters rather than generic gay stereotypes.

Fic writers can write offensive/homophobic/fetishizing things just like anyone else can (and having het ships as well as gay ships doesn’t make someone less likely to write homophobic things either), but the way fandom discourse reduces everything to wide generalities is less than useless imo, the key is to address actual specific behaviours, like the aformentioned “I hate X female character” vs “X female character is a slut who doesn’t deserve Y.” The former is a non-issue, the latter is a symptom of ingrained misogynistic attitudes.

Anyway ultimately I think fanfic is like, the least useful thing for media oriented discourse and activism to focus on for various reasons including the lack of reach and impact fic has, the lack of systemic quality control, the fact that fic writers aren’t pros and aren’t getting paid, the fact that fic writers aren’t pros and shouldn’t be expected to have the talent required to convey difficult subjects in completely inoffensive ways even if their personal politics are beyond reproach - because it does take straight up writing skill as well as understanding, the fact that fic writers have no industry power or influence, the fact that the vast majority of fic writers are marginalized in some way themselves (and misogyny against real women should always take precedence over misogyny against fictional women), the fact that many are just teenagers, etc

tl;dr I don’t think women preferring to ship m/m is inherently problematic, and I don’t think the current state of online discourse is equipped to even address the cases when it can be problematic lol because nuance is virtually impossible in unmoderated spaces where reblogging/tweeting divorces something from context and twitter posts and tumblr asks have a character limit and vague non-specific hot takes always get more clout and notes than carefully considered nuanced discussions and essays - and amateur unpublished writing is so unimpactful in the grand scheme of things that it barely matters anyway.

[gg-astrology]

Im trying to figure out if I believe in astrology. So... ppl doing charts/readings of celebrities and ppl they don't know irl bring up sexuality a lot... How on earth can astrology tell you a persons sexuality? It's not like you can say all Scorpio Venus are gay or all Taurus moons are bi, so??? Not just orientation, but fetishes and preferences... Some1 told me caps are into bby girl/princess stuff and like roleplaying their first time and, as a cap, I was like no I don't??? It just seems dumb

hey there! 💓❤️💓 honestly ive no idea about the assuming sexuality (i.e. “scorpio venus are gay or taurus moons are bi”) – thing?? Thats wack as hell i’d probably be on the fence about astrology if i heard that too, ‘m sorry u got hit with that right off the bat?? ;; 💓❤️💓

The second part about fetish and preferences - the statement ‘caps are into bby girl/princess stuff’ is pretty generalized and I don’t agree with it personally On a technical level it’s very presumptuous and seems almost like a blanket-statement? If they’re going to say that, there should be placements and specificity involved. An expansive explanation helps when it’s not just ‘vibes’  bc there’s – uh, alot of things that people do pull out out of nowhere and claim that it’s true just because it seems the most fitting to their story/narrative/vibe impressions they got off of someone?  

So let me clarify? The whole point of this (astrology - to me) is that we’re trying to decipher and learn about expressions, which I understand can be taken to different context (i.e. sexual in nature, romantic in nature, friendship, family, work, life, “horoscopes”, the future) – it’s ‘divination’ by definition (if you look up the term ‘astrology’) - you don’t have to believe it, it’s just the want to know and the ability to give it a chance, that matters? 💓❤️💓 

If you look at it this way - learning the history of how it was practiced, why generations of civilization have used/done with it – (from different cultures no less! Something we all have in common is the sky above us!) – how and why the method is used, the theories behind it – is pretty interesting in itself. As a concept alone. Isn’t it curious? Maybe not about this topic, but another topic if it’s what you’re into. But I think that’s enough of a reason for people to study it if it does fit their boat/perk their fancy? 

To me personally it was never about ‘omg my luck next year is going to be the shit’ or ‘caps are all into role-playing’ but I get curious about why that was said, what basis, does it have any workings behind it? Most topic does! If you look deep enough, but it also depends on context and what you make of it as well. 

I think the main point is that its all just theories. Testing and running it over again and again is normally the way we go about marking down data if its successful or not. 

‘People doing chart readings of people they don’t even know’, ‘bringing up their sexuality’ and ‘fetishization and preference’ seems to be asking about the ethical and moral issues of astrology and to what extent astrologers should use it (note that its a choice, with the information you hold - how much should you do it and in what way. Consequences you’ve considered, and consequences you haven’t considered but will affect those who are influenced by it)

The disregard and/or breach of personal information of another person - perhaps a minor or someone who explicitly have said/would want to keep their information private (to not get exploited/ruined/made assumptions about or defamed unintentionally/intentionally by the mass/parasocial ideas from fans or “others”) – is definitely a topic we (in the community) should talk more in-depth about to get clarity/general consensus about (without witch-hunting or hurting anyone in this scene)

The need to have information accessible for individuals who might find it as a gate-way to the community, or a student who’s studying it to gain more information/resources to go from – versus the subject/context/person themselves should be a no-brainer that we pick the latter over the former. There are appropriate, clear, well-researched accessible information in whatever context people want to explore astrology techniques/topics out there. Its just a matter of ethics and morals - and consequences of ‘what happens when you expose someone to uncomfortable information/situation’ as well that should be considered?? Not just from a technical stand-point of ‘this is information and we should use it’ - but with more regards to the personal livelihood and respect for others as well.

This is a long answer - but to simplify - Some of the ethical/moral issues you brought up is important, I don’t shy away from discussing it openly on my blog anyways. 

To me astrology is a topic that is just that; a topic. It can help if you want it to help (intentionally, through astrologer’s discretion - but it can help those unintentionally as well!) – and it can hurt if you want it to hurt (intentionally or not - perhaps more so unintentionally or in worst cases, intentionally) 

It’s a tool, the astrologer is the one who wields the tool. How they choose to wield it matters. Astrology itself is just a topic - whether you chose to ‘believe’ in it or not doesn’t really matter? It’s a subject you can study, get better at it and gain from it. The idea that it could be learnt meant that the person doesn’t have to believe it or experience it personally to excel at it. Its just easier to fact-check against ourselves, our personal experience (but again, that comes with personal bias as well). Because again, it’s about data and studies - experiences tallies and % of success versus failure. Outliers, etc. Seeing how much this ‘checks out’ as a theory (a big pile of theories) came from the underlying curiosity of why this happens, how it could be used/applied for generations, what is it about. Again– that’s enough of a curiosity (if it fits your specific boat) to embark on the journey.

Last note, lack of discretion is bad in any context/situation, but I don’t and won’t shame people who know discretion and is using it to smartly address the topic of sex in a safe and healthy manner (to those around them and the subject they’re handling) – If they know what they’re doing, takes responsibility for themselves/their audience/the topic they’re handling– it’s not a subject I’m interested in talking about myself (im pretty much, kinda just an ‘oh cool’ about it), but I don’t see anything wrong with just the core-concept of just talking about sex as long as it’s done well - with conscious, and with respect to others? 

Astrology and sex have been (at least in mainstream) linked together and seems? almost exploited somewhat, most people who do talk about it (from what i’ve seen and I definitely haven’t seen everything) – just seems to be comfortable and confident in themselves, comfortable about the topic, and is just as much responsible and putting as much weight into consciously thinking about their audience/what they want to do as other – astrologers who talks about traditional astrology or light-hearted stuff sometimes. 

I definitely get that astrology has also been used (atleast from what i’ve seen?) – as a scrape goat for ‘no moral, unethical sexual stuff u might want to know about ur idols’ as well (im not making fun this is not my own words, i’ve legit seen someone wrote this word for word) – both by assumption that all astrology contents are the same, astrologers are the same, or by examples of people who became popular and gained notoriety for their content – or even examples of those who do just lack discretion and just Do Not Care. Idk? Either way, yeah it’s unfortunate if it’s the last example but I hope you find someone who fits your bill if you’re still looking into it!