#but im not going to go out of my way to complain about it LOL | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

re-colligere · 5 months ago

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With all due respect...why do some shippers think that shipping comes with a legally binding contract where it says you HAVE to ship two people specifically, and liking any other pairing that involves one or two parties from the first pairing is a punishable offense that could send you to jail unless you officially "switch sides". I feel like the fun part of shipping is leaving our hands fellas. It's not supposed to be a competition of which ship is the best because of so and so--any ship can be the best because, guess what, this is an extremely subjective matter! Any ship is someone else's best ship!! It happens!!!

I'm feeling there's like secret shipping rules we have to abide for some reason. And at some point you've gotta ask why you have to stick by them. "Oh I can only ship one ship for x character" "I have to put all of x's ships in one timeline so some of them won't work out naturally and thus I don't like them" "multishipping is like cheating" these are all lies designed to pit us against each other. None of these are true. Other ships don't exist to attack you or your tastes. There is no need to say who's the best and therefore the ONLY ship allowed to exist. And the thing about multishipping is that these characters' relationships are fictional. Whatever they "do" does NOT have to directly affect anything ever. Different ships can exist in different scenarios. It's okay to play with your touys.

Not saying you have to like every ship there is in your fandom, nor you HAVE to multiship, you CAN have your opinions and interests obviously. I'm just saying if those opinions are personal or whatever (goes against my personal hcs / doesn't make sense to me / nuanced or simple bald answer. etc) you don't have to attack each other or put other ships down. In fact you can enjoy multiple ships if you want. It's fun. It's fine.

You're not going to go to jail if you give a character multiple bitches. I promise.

#inside out fandom #<- intended for this but i didnt write it specifically #this will be the only thing I'll be saying on the matter. yall need to calm down #sorry for the wall of text im just kinda TEEHEE about this. have you guys heard of fun and playing #gene rambles #yeah bc if i'll be honest i have a few ships im neutral on / dont really care about #but im not going to go out of my way to complain about it LOL

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kwangyanese · 9 days ago

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seeing a lot of koreans hating on/complaining about the sm game caterers #twinning

#the more i look at it the more i hate it #even tho theres ppl there that i like a lot #the balance and vibes overall are soooo bad #and everyone complaining about the same people (doyoung seulgi suho wonbin karina) bc they dont do well in variety 😭😭😭#and somebody else said oh this is like a gathering of the company bootlickers 😭😭😭😭☠️😭☠️#i saw many ppl say they shouldve brought yesung instead of leeteuk..... idk about that.... maybe i need to check out suju content again cos #i dnt rmr that guy being that funny #im just thankful they didnt bring heechul #also some czennies saying they shouldve brought johnny or yuta instead of doyoung and brought yeri instead of seulgi.... im afraid i didnt #see the vision at first but now i see it.....#also saw this one person say they shouldve brought minho instead of key and i couldnt disagree more..... key is able to control himself and #go with the flow but minho is too passionate and he gets serious about games WAY too easily #and it wouldnt go well with this team especially bc its full of awkward unfunny people....#also saw some ppl say they shouldve invited eunseok instead of wonbin and i kind of agree.... wonbin is too slow and too unfunny and awkwar #eunseok is awkward but at least he's funny about it #i dnt think sohee would do well in this tho he always freezes up in front of sunbaes and he's not that funny either #also aespa wise all four of them are unfunny and awkward in front of other artists but karina freezes up the worst of them all #if they changed other artists i feel like giselle would do well in this #exo wise all the real funny members left sm and the medium funny members are busy so suho was the only choice left #chanyeol has the same problem as minho. sehun isnt funny. kai is in the military. only suho left.....#also cant believe ppl r doubting hyoyeons variety abilities shes gotten so much better over the years!!!!!! however i do agree that yuri #wouldve been a great choice as well #oh and back to aespa after reading some more comments i see a lot of ppl mentioning ningning but i feel like this would also depend on #changing the current line up. more especifically the nct one and red velvet one #shes not funny and she also freezes up badly + needs support to fully unleash her charm in variety shows. plus shes not competitive at all #ok thats it on my analysis so far after reading many comments and rewatching the teaser a couple of times #i could analyse these ppl all day.... love reading other ppls comment on this #i feel like na pd is to blame partially for this fail but also sm artists just arent as close as they used to be lol #01

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tiddiesoutwhenthetisout · 3 months ago

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not me curling my laptop charger wire the way you curl band equipment cords HAHAHA god i miss it

#i really said “okay big performance in the city square let's make this work” and i did but absolute fuckery of the manager just made me...#and she also used to complain about being an opening act-- like come on that's a nationally-renowned band and we're not there yet 😭#we used to fight a lot though so ack i really should have taken that as a red flag #but i was 14 and stupid 🤷‍♂️#being solo way better uM i shouldn't say this yet but i got a commission today audhauagah i don't even have a portfolio #fuck guys i'm so so so nervous from big changes in life because uM god i just came from actual hell with various things working to make me #kms #but uH we're uH not too keen on that anymore atm and uH it's probably going to all fuck up after i share that i have good news in life #but yk what #let's keep challenging god #i know he hates me #but we will not be defeated we will strangle him by the tie #AHHHH help me i want to get into music again pls pls pls pls pls #anyway back to my old band manager #she was known for being a shitwad in the scene anyw but i was young and stupid as i sais #and i defended her and rationalized her behavior because “we're friends right”#i'm starting to get why my mom is wary of people i get to know #i'm tbh a fucking idiot i would never admit that elsewhere (nah i do) uM my brain is bouncing off the walls #i took a bargain with 7pm coffee and look where it got me #i was also getting up there in my 5 days of uni absences agsgshags #DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY READ THESE I KINDA HOPE NOW NO ONE DOES #IM KINDA UHHH MY CHILD THERAPIST SAID UNCONVENTIONAL #I THINK SHE MEANT FUCKING CRAZY #sorry #oh yeah i walked tf out the band after that big performance set up just for us because i couldn't keep working with that kind of environment #other bands started flocking to recruit or proxy after i was let go by my famously fucked-up ex-manager LOL #but um i have issues so i'm not among them and i think they get the message tbh #appears and disappears #that is actually my brand

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cursed-elo-images · 11 months ago

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TAG YOURSELF: ELO EDITION

Text in the description in case the text in the image is hard to read:

Fluff (Jeff)

-very shy and tries to be wholesome

-still tries to be the responsible leader

-gets irritated at society

-listens to the Beatles and wears floofy oversized sweaters

Chevrolet (Bev)

-has a planet fitness membership

-wears tank tops all the time

-obsessed with pickup trucks

-really tall, muscular, but not intimidating, acts like a parent and is sweet

Jelly (Kelly)

-obsessed with video game speedruns

-never gets tired

-does plushie and action figure hauls

-certified gamer

Randy (Richard)

-a genuinely great cook and loves food so much

-the quiet hippie one

-very nerdy and knows esoteric info on oddly specific things

-a peaceful eccentric

Milk (Mik)

-well behaved

-likes fart jokes

-has a Pinterest board of horses

-does nothing wrong

Hug (Hugh)

-wears the most flamboyant clothing in public without caring what others thinks because they’re oh so wild and edgy

-tries to act intimidating and scary towards people but cries easily

-huge animal lover and is kind and gentle to them

-weird and silly and goofs around during conversations

Smell (Melvyn)

-way too talkative

-loves hugs and is very nice

-is weird and just wants friends

-pretty and enjoys being dolled up

I’m Smell

#electric light orchestra #hugh mcdowell #jeff lynne #melvyn gale #bev bevan #mik kaminski #richard tandy #kelly groucutt #this would be a very odd friend group and i like that #i would love to hang out with the main person of the group and listen to the Beatles with them and complain about society hating us #id love to hang out with the fitness person in the gym and they can adopt me in the friend way (it was a trend in my friend group at school #id play video games with the gamer and have fun with them #id hang out with the hippie and have them cook food for us and id let them go on tangents of oddly detailed and obscure stuff like yes #with the jokester id make jokes with them and laugh until we cry and let them talk about horses even though im not really into them myself #with the scary edgy person id honestly hang out with them and go to them for advice on clothes because they’re pretty #the scary person being secretly soft hearted and cute is so beautiful asdfghjkl #I’d be kinda scared of them tho haha #and making a fool of myself and doing weird silly rebellious things with them would be so funny lol #and honestly? having the weird person want hugs all the time in order to live warms my heart #imagine one day i meet my friend group and i see them and they rant about how lonely they are and that they want more friends #and i feel so bad for them and they hug me and i approve of it and we become besties and they act weird and they talk to me all the time #i would also love discussing fashion with the weird one as well #ugh i just want that to happen please i need that in my life #that’s life in my opinion

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hyuuukais · 8 months ago

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i just got home and can i just-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#lakes thoughts #i will complain in the tags #so as if im not already congested i had so much wind in my face on the way home AND it's starting to rain so i could barely fucking breathe #and i noticed on the way home my bag strap broke which already sucked #but #then i fucking realized #i keep my bus pass on the strap on a little thing #and said little thing was Gone #so i had to go back out into the shitty weather to retrieve it #while im freaking out a bit bc i just spent $120 on my monthly pass i Can't Lose That #and I've already had to replace my card TWICE DAWG I CAN'T DO THAT AGAIN!!!!!#thankfully i found it but then i had to walk back home with the wind n stuff hitting my face directly again #and now i have to figure out what to do about my bag lol but man #ugh #i should have been home half an hour ago

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famewolf · 1 month ago

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I'm gonna be a little quiet on here until after I start playing Dragon Age. I don't want to be spoiled and the urge to click on posts that have DA tags blacklisted is mounting. And just like with Inquisition, I want to go in totally blind.

#[static]#I can't wait to see what my friends and mutuals think. it's always so much fun to watch folks play new games together #I've seen a few reviews. but I ultimately want to decide for myself #I've already seen people bickering about really inane stuff just to have something to be negative about #and while there are incredibly valid criticisms of EA among other things ... the stuff I'm seeing -#- is typical fandom stuff that I don't want to touch with a 10 foot pole #it's kind of funny how much people can rattle on about a game that isn't out just because they want something new to complain about #and people are 100% allowed to have their opinions and feelings on if they thought a game was good or not but the stuff im talking about is #- like being mad at folks getting invested in characters or talking about how bad they know it's going to be even though they havent played #i think i just hate when people talk with such conviction about how other people should enjoy things that it pisses me off real bad #i saw a take on my for you page about how it's wrong of people to be writing fics about things that havent happened yet #because what if they're wrong and then theyve wasted their time and are gonna be ruinously upset. instant block lol #i thankfully dont see any of this on my dash ... usually just in the dragon age tags or on the for you page which I rarely frequent #just let people enjoy something without getting wound up about it not being the right way. it's just drama for drama's sake #but also feel free to hate it and hate it loudly! so long as you understand it's also ok for others to have a different opinion #it's just the super-online 'everyone is wrong but me' takes that leave me reeling

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yutadori · 3 months ago

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having immature parents sucks so bad

#why am i the one who has to act mature all the time oh my god #we're having pest control come tomorrow and they require everyone to leave the unit for at least four hours afterwards #and my mom thought shed be working tomorrow but she called me at like 10 pm to tell me to reschedule bc /she/ got the day wrong #and when i told her she just has to find somewhere to go for just four hours her response was “where ?? you want me to go and be homeless #for four hours???“ which doesnt even make any fucking sense #its only four hours ?????? she can literally go hang out with her sister or go to the park #and she was like “YOU can go to the park im not a park person” ???? you are asking me and i am simply giving you options . its not my fault #that she got the day wrong ?????? and they cant change the appointment bc its way way too last minute.#and she got mad at me and started going on and on about how she cant wait for her life once im out of it like HUH ??????#im the one who's been putting all thos shit together i called the landlady and im the one cleaning up and clearing out all of our stuff #out of the cabinets and everything like shes literally doing nothing all she has to do is go outside for just a few hours !!!!#yet she has the gall to complain and act like im making her life so difficult when she hasnt done a single thing to help lol . she acts like #she isnt living here and it pisses me off so baddddd jesus christ im so sick of everything lol #ss

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ahalliance · 4 months ago

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i need to do exposure therapy with purgatory i think the fandom experience at the time instilled the unpleasant dread and despair i still feel whenever i think about the event

#though it was also . the event itself’s fault . lol #and the miserable experience it was to watch them play from 7 pm to 5 am every single day for two weeks my time #and yes a lot of my unpleasant feelings towards purg come from my own ass being hyperfixated on the serv/etoiles #to a point where i struggled to Not watch . which made the feelings worse yknow #also like it kinda sucked for everyone it also sucked as an etoiles viewer . man was constantly stuck between the #‘i can’t fight like i want to bc people will complain that im too strong and it’s unfair nor can i Not fight bc people will complain that #i’m going easy on people/not invested in the team’ . and he was right people shit on him either way #like the event marked him in the ‘damned if i do damned if i don’t’ department so much that he still uses purgatory as an example today #and then he joined purg2……. babey girl ur hyperfixation is hurting u….. i actually enjoyed purg2 more tho so idc as much LOL #purg2 was better bc it was an event u actually willingly joined and it included people not from the main server so it wasn’t stuck in #fucking ‘is this lore or a pvp competition’ limbo #anw yeah even though i dislike purgatory overall bc it rly did shitall other than make people angry for two weeks (on ur server thats #supposed to be about uniting cultures . they all spoke in primarily english for two weeks bc the competition model that purg was #was just not built for short distance discussions…. lord)#there’s still some cool stuff that came out of it . my fave highlights r bloodhounds and nice cogs i love them #when i feel stronger i will comb through the vods to write up the relevant stuff for the etoiles miraheze page i just . am still not strong #enough . the detox must be slow and steady #jay rambles #also i am going to bed now i should have been asleep ages ago

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orcelito · 4 months ago

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ok i am actually so very angry and there's literally nothing i can do to fix it. life keeps going on. she might even be happy. and fuck dude, i'll make sure im happy too, i was a fully developed person before she was in my life and i'll continue to be one without her. but God Damn, the fact that she can just do something so blatantly awful and unfair to me and then run off without any actual repercussions is just so fucking rankling to me.

like perhaps she feels guilty. she said she did when it was all going down. but it was just something she "needed to do". so obviously she didn't feel guilty enough or she wouldnt have done it like that lmaoooo

i really did deserve to have a good solid yell at her. but unfortunately, by the time i did see her in person i just wanted her out of my fucking life. so. no yelling was done, unfortunately.

#speculation nation #the duality of being a deeply resentful and angry person. and being a person that Tries to be mature and peaceful.#like im not gonna actually Do shit even tho i keep wanting to message her just to yell at her some more again #it's like there's a beast in me that keeps yelling for retribution. she wronged me in such a disrespectful and humiliating way #and yet she just gets to walk away like it was nothing? live her life like it was nothing?#be in 'love' with her new 'soulmate' after cutting me off like a rotten limb?#i feel so DEEPLY angry. i want to spit vitriol and fire. i want to dig my claws into her bones. make her really FEEL how i feel.#i want to wander into her dreams and make her experience what i felt. every miserable second of silence.#the humiliation of admitting you might be falling in love only to be told you were never loved at all.#and i want to knee her in the gut and spit in her face and really make her regret ever fucking wronging me #but unfortunately im a stupid fucking pacifist so all the aggression and anger and violence has no FUCKING outlet #ive been. trying to not think about it too much. ive been trying to just live my life. because i dont want her to run my life.#but the anger keeps catching up to me. filtering in when i dont expect it. endless constant fucking thoughts coming back to me #on and on and on and on i live and i eat and i read and i game and i hate and i hate and i hate and i hate and i hate and i HATE AND I HATE #the greatest injustice is that i cannot make her truly feel every single ounce of my resentment and anger #it's so overwhelming i think i could choke on it. and she gets to live her FUCKING happy little life with her stupid fucking 'soulmate'#i hope it collapses around her and she loses her too so she's single and alone and miserable and regretting all of her fucking impulsivenes #she deserves to have it fail after what she did to me. and all i can really do is hope that karma has its fucking kiss for her.#if only curses were real. what i wouldnt give to put some energy into that karmic payback lmfao.#ok . ok ok ok ok love and peace on planet earth. i am shifting out of vitriolic little shit mode.#just had to let some of the steam out. im still angry but i am going to go back to not thinking about it.#i think i should go on a nice long bike ride tomorrow. to decompress and work some of the steam out.#it's something that she can never take from me. something that is so wholly mine. fuck that stupid bitch and fuck her new girlfriend too #...............................ok NOW im shifting out of vitriolic mode. lol #negative/#WAHOOOOOO i am certainly not taking this breakup well. but i dont think anyone would be lmfao.#all things considered i think im doing a pretty great job at handling this breakup.#bc at least im only recounting unrealistic threats and fantasies on my tumblr dot com instead of messaging Any of this to her.#i may kinda want her to read it so that she knows anyways. but i wont message her directly. bc i am Trying to be at least a little mature.#complaining on my tumblr dot com so i dont message my ex with more vitriol. gotta cope Somehow.

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cerealmonster15 · 5 months ago

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i dont think i ever felt more annoyed at commercials than when those mean girls walmart ads were playing a few months ago or whenever that was

#i think it's mostly bc i thought mean girls was like. an okay movie. a fine movie? i think i liked it #but like. i saw it once. i have no nostalgia for it bc i saw it way later/not when it originally came out #and god the way people are so into it. i mean that is great like i dont wanna be a hater for people enjoying things #but me personally. i do not understand why it's a cult classic or whatever klsjfkdlsfj i hear people quote it all the time and im like. 🧍#so having those quotes i already dont care about re contextualized to try to sell me walmart. god. the worst experience jkfsdjfklJFDKLSJF #tbh maybe it woudlve been worse if i liked the movie but i saw comments saying those commercials were funny so WHATEVER #i feel like it's also the same w/like. vocaloid kfsjdflksjgh like i dont dislike it!! i enjoy some songs #but i never had a vocaloid phase when i was younger. i feel so very neutral about miku #ppl on the internet feel so strongly positive and again thats great and i objectively get it #ive been shown vocaloid songs and some are really catchy #but it is one of those instances where im like man. a level of hype i dont fully understand LOL #miku vocaloid stuff is at least endearing tho. i get.... tired... w/mean girls quotes......... ksljfsljfl #It's Always The Same Ones and i just dont think theyre very funny FKJLDSJFDKLSJF maybe i am a hater damn #jk i do think i liked the movie? god i dont remember i watched it like. i dont even know when. college at the earliest i think #but whatever thats just a case of people having different interests just cuz i didnt care about a thing doesnt man its bad other ppl like i #also tho i think bc the mean girls overquoted bits remind me of like. rae dunn ceramics LOL jkfskfjsekht #or like idk live laugh love stuff. yknow like. dont talk to me until ive had my coffee has same energy as on wednesdays we wear pink. to me #it's facebook wine mom humor.... bc it is people roughly my age that were/are really into it and they are now mom age i guess lwpfhewhfp #god i need to go to bed im tired and it's making me a cranky complainer about stuff that doesnt matter!!!!#went 2 my dash in a dif tab and immediately saw a miku post is she gonna get me for not having strong feelings about her #im sorry miku i just . i dont get it JKFLJDSKLFJKSLD #ur music is fun i just dont proportionately understand. i feel like im missing context w/this one girl maybe thats my bad idk #or maybe it's just i found u too late idk. i will jam to the bops tho #that endless/everlasting/whatever nights thing w/like the 4 alt storyline songs is soooo fun i love those #dont ask me the names of the ppl in them tho i dont fuckin know besides like. 3 of them. one is miku LOL #and those yellow twin kids. len and ren. or rin? len and rin? i dont remember and i dont care enough to look it up sorry small children #theres that blue haired guy that was in the one prsk route i played but i forgot his name again #i dont know if hes in those songs i was talkin about tho i only remember what he looks like in his youthful wonderland alt loll #i talk in the tags bc i get scared it feels safe in my burrow here underground #also im calling mean girls mid and saying i dont have miku hype so i feel like that does warrant going into hiding

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doecrossing · 6 months ago

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Girl why have I been so fucked up this past week or so I rlly thought I was beyond this

#i think ive just been understimulated so im going crazy #i need to block out time for 1) thoughtful repose + study 2) the club #<- not literally the club (probably?) but like some sort of social activity definitely #i tried complaining abt this to my mom and my bf today and they were both like. well dont think abt things so much.#which isnt helpful and i also think thats a one way ticket to becoming a complete dipshit #my brain needs to be active for me to be happy and if its not i start hyper analyzing every single social interaction i have #through the lense of power relations #which is like. im right about it but its NOT good for my mental well being lol.#ive been kind of a miserable bitch!#i did get to go hiking this week though and i'll probably go fishing again this weekend so its not all bad #im not being completely sedentary or anything i just need /more/#i begged my employer to let me start earlier but they wont so i have to do something over the next MONTH b4 i start work #txt

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synthshenanigans · 8 months ago

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there’s one on here currently and they’re bringing back up old controversy (jashshipping)

Yeaa I saw that. They also seem to post a bunch of CJ related things, so I might make the daily photos one since there isn't one for just CJ screenshots/photos

#im gonna be a fait bit busy today so I cant make it rn #also wont be making it tomorrow as there's another strike happening then [ill make a post on that later too btw]#but i want there to be an account just of stuff from the vids or of the ones he posts on twitter #as for the shipping thing #i wish ppl wouldn't be so rude with things sometimes man #my stance is basically the same as CJs. interpret it however you'd like just don't show it to ppl who are uncomfortable with it #also don't harass or be a dick to people who do or don't ship it #im glad it died down since then at least & that there's not a bunch of hate going around #this fandom is simultaneously really nice to be in & also really draining sometimes #tho it definitely isn't the worse. ive been in a lot of ones that are a LOT worse than here. big & small #place is actually quite nice mostly. despite some things that deserve needing to be called out [like some of the ableism toward Heart]#I think things would be a lot better if people just let others do their own thing. as long as its not like. fuckin illegal or offense #or against CJs boundaries. just let others vibe out in there own corner #ain't that what we all said when TH purists complain about CJs covers? No ones forcing you to consume the content. is all good #just stay where you're comfortable! if anyone's forcing you to look at their stuff then they're the issue. and that goes both ways #again just listen to what the guy said. don't show it to people that don't like it. don't harass people who do it don't like it. an like #just be groovy #sorry for the rant this has just been on my mind for months now #im generally very neutral on things but i hate everyone just yellin at each other when there doesn't need to be yelling in the first place #again this place is hell of a lot better than other spaces ive been in #its a main reason this is the first fandom I've actively participated a shit ton in #im actually using discord & talking [a bit] to other ppl for once lol #idk man i like it here. Just don't make a reason for people not to like it here #again apologies for the rant op. this has just been on my mind for some time & i really don't want shit being blown up again #also apologize if anythins spelled wrong or sounds like nonsense #shitty keyboard + dyslexia + not being able to edit tags can make dumb results lol #moss rants #[atlas asks]

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yoshistory · 10 months ago

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the perspective of looking at new jersey apartments again makes me glad im living where im at now, honestly ... ^^ ''

#i SO wish i could hop over there though ... the price of living is SOOO high and the pay doesnt match even a little #its bad everywhere .. but new jersey's got a special kind of sickness like that because of its nyc proximity #everyone lives there and commutes to the city like 1.5hrs away for the better pay . but i just lived there lol #i feel like compared to here everything in jersey's tinged an ''old'' way ..#i dont know how to describe it but EVERYTHING from the stores to the apartments has a ''grandma's house'' feel #a ''hasn't been updated in 40+ years'' feel #and austin's so new and booming. apparently. but i agree it doesnt have that old tinge to it #the apartment im living in isnt new. but it isnt old either. it doesnt have the feel to it #i thought it was just nostalgia speaking but looking at nj apartments today was like. oh wow. its nice to know im not going crazy #this same apartment in nj would be SO SO SO much more expensive. people here complain about prices (they SHOULD. its bad)#but looking at where i was and why i HAD to move elsewhere .. i remember now yknow. this place is a luxury i could never have had in nj #which doesnt mean its good. its sad. i wish things were different. i DO .. sort of .. wish i never moved out here to begin with #but im glad im here. i feel like ... you know when a hero goes on a quest and makes friends along the way and then .. doesnt return home ..#even though the quest was supposed to be a transitory period .. yknow .. maybe im just home now #atleast awhile longer. im happy calling here home awhile longer #i do kinda miss that old tinge to it. i always said everything in nj was like .. ''tinged yellow '' .. and it really is. yknow.#i just need to put some antiques and lighting into my apartment. lol. feels just like home

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lokh · 2 years ago

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being aware of your own shortcomings but not knowing how to fix it. sooooo frustrating lol <3

#AUGHHHHHH I CANT WRITE I GIVE UP IM DONE!#im like. anybody with an ounce more of. idk being in tune with their feelings??????????? would have expanded on eg an observation #but i dont. or i cant. and i dont care to figure out which one cos either way i dont want to!#but thats not good for writing!!!!!!!!!#i realise that maybe for dialogue its ok. because yknow how therapy speak is becoming a problem with dialogue and a piece of advice ive see #going around is 'no one says what they mean'#well. so thats easy at least LMAO. at least up until people have feelings jams. which is where i fall flat on my face #but in either case the problem becomes the experiencing. when ur writing pov and ur saying how they Felt #and i just. shrug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAN #you kno?????? is this making sense?#i just love avoiding things too much!#im complaining about writing but im 100% sure this is a problem in. every other avenue of life for me lol <3

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synthetic-sonata · 9 days ago

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really awesome day to think everythings going alright and then you wake up and get hit in the face twice in a row

#vent #why am i suddenly the worst person to exist to everyone again for having bpd and complex emotions. 2023s coming back in a new way #like oh wow Have you ever thoguht of how Aria Feels. Have you ever thought to fucking talk to me about this . god.#this specific group of people keeps making me miserable and then complains about me being miserable about it. like yea. bc that makes sense #maybe i shouldve left all of you huh. maybe i shouldve done that. i need to be the one with agency over my emotions for fucking once.#everyone walks all over me and expects it to do nothing. keeping my fears in check and keeping my confirmation biases very much there.#lua if you see this that was entirely fucking unwarranted. im not some fucking evil person. i just have BPD. we tried.#i dont like venting to you for every single little thing either and it makes me miserable too! it wouldve been nice if you said that first.#all of it made me miserable but thats all we ever fucking talked about.#i really fucking tried just to get kicked down and spit at again for something so stupid and then the remaining 3 also left again.#what am i supposed to do. what do you want me to do.#i genuinely tried. i always wanted to try but just got left with questions and unexplainable emotions. and now everythings like this again #no explanations. nothing to give me any benefit of the doubt. just no youre evil and awful for this thing that we all also do but #were all going to blame YOU for not being honest about your emotions. and then i start being very open about my emotions #and people hate that too. literally what do you fucking want from me anymore. have i been anything other than a strawman to any of you #just an ideal to chase . just whatever you want to form me into ?#i am not a saint and never claim to be or claim to be the best or even most reasonable opinion. but you should all maybe evaluate that your #extraordinarily comically bad at anything regarding this. better at communicating my fucking ass.#i dont want to be at either of you twos fucking whims anymore. i dont even want to be at my own.#leave me the hell alone. observe me at a distance. just dont fucking talk to me until you have something better to say.#i did not need that. it is unfair to me. not now. not any time. not near my birthday not near new years. i did not need this suddenly today #because people dont communicate anything to me. and then expect me to be fine to be slapped in the face with it like its expected.#you people fucking suck.#i feel abused by fucking everyone. i am not a real person to any of you and never will be. nobody cared about my personhood #and you know what. im fine with that. because neither of you are here anymore.#literally i am mentally not built for people who made me miserable then blaming me for my misery . or the most stupid friendgroup drama of #the century i am built for playing touys and having fun Fuck u all forever get out of my life FOREVER !#itll probably come back again and then ill be mentally susceptible to this bullshit again but for now literally just . fuck off.#i dont want to be in your ouroboros ( lol ) of endless misery feedback loop bullshit anymore #like woww i have problems but Wow. Its almost like you two made it worse? Idk! Just a thought.

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nomairuins · 20 days ago

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aww its kinda cute finding me complaining abt my dads whole lisa thing from 2017. honestly so overshadowed by everything else and also i was so annoying when i was 12 aw .

#did not realize how many of my journal posts r just vents and it all looks so silly now RJRBJFBFNG aw hun. its so funny that i was #complaining abt my mom treating me like a therapist in 2017. <- his ass did notttt know. its like watching a guy standing on the train #tracks and complaining about a car driving past.#sry . i ended up on quotev just 2 look. ive never actually looked at my like activity feed very much whenever i go back but its funny bc it #rly is a more accurate glimpse into whateve was going on for miss kami (my quotev nickname).... like yasss. you hate your dads girlfriend #and her kids that is a nice problem to have #its also embarassing bc like my ex gf is just all around in here . i made a vent post like I get it im not enough and i dont matter and im #just a tool for you to use 😡😡😡 and she commented “yesss tell the world”. SO FUNNY?#and i found her being excited abt our 5 month anniversary #delightfully 12 year old activity. i do not like her very much at all and idt i ever actualy loved her #not in a bitchy way in a like. i literally questioned if i was aroace the entire time we were dating #she asked me out with a little note passed in class like circle y/n and i literally thought to myself Hm well i guess i dont have anything #going on. and circled yes. which is so funny. hun?#anyways. that all imploded bc we were 11 its whatever.#sigh. its just nice to remember the little problems i had. like obviously all this is after my dad choked me out in public and threw my dog #and etc but its still technically the beforetimes. yk. and ik the zoo isnt rly the most pressing of my things that have happened to me #anymore but its still like. Big. yk. even if i mostly just have to Be fine about it now or else everyone will think im being an awful piec #of shit asshole for still being upset. Ok sorry #also when i call my 12 yesr old self snnoying i mean it in an loving way like. its only right to be kind of annoying when youre 12 yk...#and also 12 year old kamille is Not here rn so i can be a little playfully mean to her. bc shes such a 12 year old #idk i just struggle a lot bc i am so like. far removed from everything that happened atp were on like 4th or 5th generation post that #and i struggle to put myself in That kamilles shoes and remember she was a kid yk. like obviously ik i was a kid ik i didnt deserve that #but when i try to like. put myself back in the situation and try to force myself to remember that exact day (dont do this btw . it does not #go well LOL) but i always like. i try to rebuild the events from the ground up but im not Kamille age 12 im me. witnessing everything #i wont ever be able to remember it How it acrually was i couldnt even fully remember it like a week after the fact yk. itis what itis #sorry i should prolly tag this i rambleddddd #a2t #child abuse #implied but we #animal abuse

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