#but im making this house a home lmao
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Roomie and I picked up keys this morning.
We get to move stuff over the weekend.
I'm gonna figure out how to get yaoi Jesus on the living room wall.
Also finally not going to be living with my family once everything is moved over!
#ill probably have to draw some fanart and get it printed#but im making this house a home lmao#personal
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watching house md with my mama every night and each time i have to watch that [INSERT SLUR] write with a frenzied passion on his whiteboard or have A Moment Of Inspiration mid conversation, i am FILLED with the urge to quote WE NEED TO CHECK THE PATIENT'S ASS comic/textpost, except if i do that i will have to then explain what it means, why it is funny, and how i know it, which means i will need to Reveal my tumblr and tbh i don't think EITHER of us are ready for that conversation
#house md#hatecrimes md#i have a really distinct combination of exploitable reaction memes in my head that i might create later on#however i fear i do not have the time to waste making memes in powerpoint at this point in time#but yeah i get home from the uni library at 8 or 9 pm. i sit down and watch 1-3 episodes of house with my mum and eat my dinner .#i go to bed at 11 i journal for 45 minutes and then it is midnight and then i sleep for six and a half hours LMAO#im having the time of my life. but at what cost#gregory house#greg house#words of wyrm
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Invited all my friends up to San Antonio for the weekend at my cousin's. They all politely refused and blamed it on their schedules but they all seemed to shy away the moment I told em we'd be doing work on my cousin's house. I get it, who wants to work for free especially when you have zero experience in home improvement... but like, y'all are men lmao
#one of them legit said 'fuck no“ lmao#'let me know what the guys say about your splendid offer'#if they actually came along they'd realize its actually a vacation with a pretext#like y'all would be just sitting outside handing tools to whoever's on the ladder#making jokes and shooting the shit#drinking beers and listening to tunes#am I the crazy one?#do m8s not hang out for weekend projects anymore?#you get out of the house and break the routine#and when you come back home you feel like a new person for it#idk#let me know if im the crazy one
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for people who have anxiety but live alone anyway: how do u deal with the panic? I live with 2 other people and still have bubble burst moments of random fear that only gets soothed by putting myself in someone else's eyeline. what do you do when the catastrophising starts???
#my body has a lot of random weird pain frkm 26 years of bad things and every time im like#i should have written a will its really happening this time im about to drop dead#so i skitter around the house to stand close enough to someone else that theyd hear me if i fall over LMAO#insane behavior i know. i have a mountain of medical anxiety bc of my grandparents#but like i cant even wrap my head around what id do if i felt that way and was alone 24/7 at home#panic forever???#who makes you eat and shower bc its sure not MY executive function keeping me alive on the bad days LOL#id wither away if i lived alone i think#kinda sad my life went a way where thats never going to happen tho. to the end of wanting to know who id be#how would i dress and act and decorate?? eat?? what kind of dishes would i get. throw blankets too#what would i learn abt myself etc its an iteration of me that will likely never happen bc im happily married#hmmm#ur always going to wonder about the lifestyles you didnt have. thats normal#but it does make me wonder what i would have been like if i had friends and my own space#oh to be a fag making out with his friends in the privacy of his own home#or maybe thats just how i feel bc were literally married and have never been able to afford to live alone Together lol
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Yea idk how I haven't shared them here yet but here's some doodles of Tabitha and "Apathy" (she ain't got a name yet), the two protags of my ghost story!
Grieving after the sudden loss of her grandmother, Apathy accidentally becomes bound to the spirit of Tabitha, a young girl who was murdered in the 1870s. Stuck together in unfamiliar circumstances, the two must discover how to send Tabitha on to the afterlife, and if they even can.
UPDATEEEEEEEEE Apathy's name is Naomi :)
#i draw tabitha all cheery usually but she has a very very rough time at the start#very vengeful and confused and inconsolable and angry#as one would be if they were murdered#the first drawing was a couple months ago but the last drawing was from maybe like a year and a half ago?#so they look a lil different#i change their designs slightly every time i draw them lol#but yea i imagine this as an animated series!#its a love letter to the PNW (my home baybey) as well as like. my attempt to utilize the vehicle of horror for character exploration#if u know i love midnight mass and haunting of hill house then the mike flanagan jumps out immediately lmao#tabitha bennett#naomi evans#ghost girl story#i dont have a name for any of my stories either#i thought maybe of calling it 'mortis operandi'#but idk what their usual way of doing things would be to make the modus operandi part of the title make sense lol#also the tagline would be something like 'life after death for those who have lost someone and those who were lost'#so then i thought of calling it something like 'those who were lost' but ghosts are kinda a rarity in this universe so#it feels like that shouldnt be the focus of the title#idk im REALLY bad with titles#i think the character writing for these lil dudes that currently only exists in my brain is some of the best ive done tho#grabs u by the shoulders: talk to me about the irony that tabitha teaches apathy how to feel alive again despite being the one who's dead#my art#ocs
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Was doing okay holding back all of the fear re: the potential election outcome until literally this second what the fuck to my brain lmao
#wherein lmao means I'm so scared and i cant stop crying rn#no one should have to fear this. not me nor anyone else nor the ppl who have already had to flee their homes worldwide#a person shouldn't have to worry abt violence being enacted upon them bc of who they are which like#obvi isn't a new concept to myself and most ppl but i feel like the folks who'll vote Trmp don't care for it#won't affect them in theory after all so of course they don't care#Housemate and I are trying to figure out where we could go and how in case of the worst#and it's not even the first time I'll have had to leave a place bc of safety reasons (two nickles on that already in my life)#but it doesn't make it any less daunting#i just want to live my life in our little house with Housemate and the cats working my shit job and trying to enjoy whatever i can#none of this matters and im shouting into a void full of equally terrified ppl dealing with this themselves if not worse#these tags don't make sense entirely and i don't care. i have things I should be doing and I'm sitting in my room#paralysed by fear over all of this#i should distract myself but with what? at what point do i accept the distractions can only do so much?#maybe I'll just take a nap again. idk. feels weird and wrong to play a video game or nap ordo anything that isn't trying to research options#i need to stop rambling here like im hoping time will pause while i type im out again lmao
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HAI!! haii so so . Listen i was having milgram thoughts as one does and decided to bother you talk to you . Also because i want to lowkey hear your thoughts about this
So i was thinking maybe milgram has a cleaning system thing done by the prisoners?? Like cleaning duties and stuff and obviously i had some silly thoughts like fuuta getting paired with someone taller and not being able to reach a spot that's just bugging him, and they just tower over him and clean it. Also mahiru being extremely good at cleaning because she's always wanted to be the perfect shoujo heroine. And Kazui being good at it to try to make up to his wife for not being able to love her. Muu being a rich girl™ probably wouldn't be all that good at it and I'm not entirely sure about Haruka or Yuno. Shidou probably did help around the house when his family was still around, and being a doctor, probably wants the place to be sanitary, so he'd be good at it too. Anyways, then I thought about Amane.
Like obviously she values cleanliness or purity, but her house isn't exactly the best maintained right? Would that result in her being relatively lax about the cleaning? Or maybe since her guardian was someone who "strayed from the path" (i didn't really know how to put it) she wouldn't want to follow in their example? Making her want to keep the prisoner more clean? I didn't have enough time in school to think about it (sad) but even rn i cant really come to a proper conclusion. Keeping things sanitary was definitely not what she was raised with and if the cult was fine with her running around with her bruises unbandaged and living in her definitely not properly maintained house. But also not wanting to follow something that her guardian did would also definitely be something I'd expect from her…
AHH thank you sm for telling me!! >:3 It’s literally never a bother, I always want to talk Milgram adfsdfsdf I love this 👀 I expand a bit with my thoughts below but all of that is so perfect YES
Omg I love all those -- Mahiru, Shidou, and Kazui definitely seem like the very best cleaners! Mahiru genuinely enjoys it but also holds herself to high societal standards. Kazui probably doesn’t actively enjoy it, but he’d like the clean household and being a good spouse. Shidou seems like he’s just a very meticulously clean person in general -- he also wants to be a good husband but he’d be exactly the same even if he never married lol.
I think Haruka and Muu would be pretty bad at it, just because they’re not used to the responsibilities. (Muu gives me very genuinely spoken “you missed a spot” vibes lmao. She’s trying to be helpful, but depending on who she says it to, it goes pretty poorly…)
Fuuta, Yuno, Mikoto, and Kotoko strike me as the type to be varying levels of messy on their own but when they’re forced to clean they do a good job. Fuuta’s bad with leaving gross food/trash/laundry around. Yuno is sanitary, but her possessions get painfully cluttered. Mikoto and Kotoko fall in the middle of this spectrum. Kotoko seems like she’d honestly just forget about taking care of her living space, while the others make the conscious choice to let it go for a while.
I’m dying over Fuuta not being tall enough to reach a certain spot ASFSDF that’s exactly what would happen 😂 Also I know none of his clothes are his prisoner color, but I’m picturing that classic laundry mishap where he ends up dying his uniform pink by washing it alongside something red…
And Amane. Hm. I’m intrigued by her case, because I would have said without a doubt that she would be super clean and organized due to her teachings -- but then that mv shot (combined with the injury treatment you mentioned) clearly shows her mother doesn’t live that way. It’s definitely an option that she’s a hypocrite in many areas: punishing Amane for things when she herself has done worse, demanding Amane be perfectly clean when her house is a mess, etc. It could also be that she never asked for that, but the rest of the cult drilled the importance of purity into Amane -- and this contributes to the ways in which Amane notices her mother’s straying).
Whether cleanliness was expected of her at that time or not, though, I think you’re right: she’d be disgusted with her mother’s lack of it, and this would fuel her to keep everything in Milgram in perfect order. Es may have been the one to originally set up the cleaning/chore rotation in t1, but once she starts speaking for the cult in t2, Amane is the one really enforcing everything. At first, this probably annoys the others (they don’t want to be bossed around by a scary 12yo). But the way she talks about perfection and punishments would likely cue them in on her past, making them act a bit gentler about the whole situation. Some of them try to get her to relax and not fear undue punishments if things aren’t clean, but she’d likely take it as an insult to her code rather than an offer of reassurance :( Still, I think given her physical/mental strain, some of the others would successfully convince her to let them help, and take a few of the tougher/grosser cleaning jobs off her hands.
#milgram#haruka sakurai#yuno kashiki#fuuta kajiyama#muu kusunoki#shidou kirisaki#mahiru shiina#kazui mukuhara#amane momose#mikoto kayano#kotoko yuzuriha#tw cults#tw child abuse#thank you ahhh this made me so happy!!#i was struggling through schoolwork and rapid fire work projects so it was real nice to think about all the while hehe :3#i think mahiru would genuinely like Love cleaning and keeping house lmao#and i love fuuta with all my heart but deep down i know hes nasty -_- *shudders*#and harrow makes it seem like kotoko can ignore her own health for the sake of her jobs so i think despite her orderly attitude she would#let things get real messy around her if she was too deep in focus#im sooo curious about amanes home life#i know purge march revealed a lot but it also raised so many more questions!!!#i really love the way they framed that shot of her house -- it drives home how suffocating and dark her home life was...#it just feels claustrophobic and pressing#so she might actually feel freer and cleaner at milgram :(#but yeah i wonder if her mother really did buy into all the cults teachings or just the ones that let her punish amane when she felt like i#like she didnt really believe as much as the others so she was lax on some things#but idk with the reveal her dad is a high ranked member and everything#ANYWAY#enough rambling. it is midnight. i must sleep. thank you.#ask
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twas the night before christmas
and all through the house
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I have a whole ass bottle of mojito in the fridge and it's criminal that I'm only allowed to drink very little and very diluted
#Parents aren't home and I Could just pour myself a glass. cause what are they gonna do about it? make me Undrink the cocktail? ground me?#im already like barely going out of the house due to recovery lmao#but I am slightly afraid of how itd mess w my meds and I do NOT want to be back in the fucking building (in the hospital with horrid nausea)#so. we will be using this as an exercise of self control.
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from the fog experience is going great btw
#minecraft#mineblr#modded minecraft#max posting#for the most part hes not even scary anymore hes just around LMAO#still gets me a couple times every now and then when im Not Home and he just kind of stares there glowing behind me like 🧍#but even then its like. jesus okay hi buddy anyway#i do think im going to make a house for him. i think itd be nice
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first post of the new year — an AU i have like quarter-written and way-too-thought-out, HOUSES/HOMES
in retrospect that little logo idea's actually kinda neat. sorta plays w above/good vs below/evil
#long post /#kir detective conan#akai shuichi#detective conan#cackle draws#blood tw#you know you've thought too much about an AU when you're looking through medical papers to learn the different types of seizures#im genuinely shocked that House or Home won the poll?? but that's p a good thing#because god knows id never say a damn thing abt this idea without someone else making me lmao#doesn't matter how gay it is don't join the mob
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my brethren i am going to be home alone for four days. heaven on earth. they say life is cruel, so how come i am winning so joyously ??
it is time to CLEAN and MAKE ART ‼️‼️‼️
#unfortunately i am going to be out of the house for several hours on wednesday thursday friday#so i cannot enjoy this to the fullest#also my sister is home this week still but she's at work almost all day (she's trying to make up hours from being sick)#HOWEVER! i will be home entirely alone in September for like two weeks or more so I'll be able to enjoy it properly then#RAAHHHH I'M SO HAPPY WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE. parents didn't even tell me they were going camping fdjskl#they just. texted me at 7am this morning. asking if i could come upstairs to go over plant watering info before they leave#and i was like. ah. i guess theyre going camping. LMAO#i slept like shit but today is going to be a GOOD day#SO EXCITED TO CLEAN AND MAKE ART WITHOUT BEING SO SCARED YAY YAY YIPPEE YIPPEE#I CAN PUT ON MUSIC OUT LOUD.... OH JOYOUS BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL DAY.....#im going to work on some Guz-related stuff once i get things tidied and organized hehehe i have some fun ideas for projects >:3#dandy.cmd
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i go to college and spend time actively unlearning the idea that my worth is linked to my ability to provide for others and then i come home for the summer where my worth is quite literally only based on my ability to provide for others 🤩
#what if i just wanna be loved bc i am me !!! what if i want someone to be proud that i am awake for yet another day !!!!#and the fact that my mom isn’t even here makes things worse bc now i am the mom of the house ! and god her job is hard and thankless !!#and i mean im eternally grateful to my mom for being my mom and all but uh. i never wanna be a mom.#why is it that whenever i’m home i am the mom of my siblings and the therapist to my mom (if she’s even here)#why is it that my dad gets to shirk responsibilities that i don’t get to !!#why is it that everything is expected of me but not the only adult in the house !!!#also. the only time i ever get attention or appreciation for my presence is when im like on my deathbed#like. the only interactions ive had w my mom since christmas have been her taking care of me while im gravely ill#and then my dad and i are co parenting so i don’t rly get any attention or appreciation from him#and i mean my sister loves me but she sees me more as a chauffeur than someone that needs love and affection#she loves me for my license and my bank account lmao i spoil her to no end#anyways. that’s been my ted talk. good evening
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#been fighting for my fucking LIFE against a 24hr migraine#after gettin home from work yesterday i tried Everything.#sleeping+water+food+meds+staggering MORE meds+showering w/the lights off+massaging to release my clenched jaw+tea+sunglasses inside+etc#gave up on getting rid of it a WHILE ago & have just been riding the waves#so tell me why. just now. after eating thee Worst microwave burrito of my entire life. its FINALLY RECEEDED. to be just my normal headache.#im not joking.#the last 24hrs ive been making SURE to have Real Nutrients in my body bc ik thats like. step 1 to ''make the Pain Brain bearable''#and yet nothing. NOTHING has put a dent in it. save for the worlds soggiest shittiest frozen burrito#im like. legit kinda mad abt this lmfao#i microwaved that fucker and horked it down even tho what ive been craving all day is mediterranean food bc we dont HAVE any close enough#but what we do have. is frozen shitty burritos. and granted ! my headache is not Gone. but my headache is NEVER Gone#ive had the same headache since i was 12#but legitimately 2 minutes after that stupid burrito. we went from a 7/10 on the headache scale to a FOUR#infuriating. i deserve gyro after all that. or maybe shawarma...#neither of which we have in the house. terrible#anyway. complaint session over lmao#if u read this ily. mwah.<3 kthanxbye#bee speaks
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I'm trying to be so brave and work up the courage to run some errands by myself
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#its just i don't trust my truck lmao#who would've thunk that being unemployed college drop out & always home i would've developed a fear of leaving my house#like im fine once im outside running around but trying to get ready and leave makes my anxieties skyrocket#rambling into the void
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posting on here really is just being expected to say ‘sorry for being desensitized by facing daily, real life homophobia and the constant threat of being killed for being a faggot-tranny to where i forgot to take into consideration that youre gonna be a whiny bitch about me making a light-hearted joke about a fictional character on my own blog’ while not feeling sorry at all.
#i was gonna leave this alone but this has been in my drafts for SO long and every day its proven more true#like sorry but me having a loaded gun held to my head and being quizzed on if im a faggot and deserve to be killed because#‘god will understand’ by my parents (whom i see every day) and having to be convincing enough that im ‘not’#and living where the state laws are actively harmful and doesn't have any nondiscrimination laws (from medical to housing to banking to#employment to just hate crining us) and where i still have that same level of fear inside my own home because of my parents#isnt the same experience as a lgbt person making a limp wrist joke or making a joke at a fictional story that you personally dont like#if youre sensitive to that its fine whatever every LGBT person is different and has a different experience and shit.#block if it makes you that uncomfortable or scroll and move on#but giving other queers grief and anger because of how THEY joke or talk?? get a fucking life and stop bitching about mine lmao
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