#i go to bed at 11 i journal for 45 minutes and then it is midnight and then i sleep for six and a half hours LMAO

[pencildragons]

watching house md with my mama every night and each time i have to watch that [INSERT SLUR] write with a frenzied passion on his whiteboard or have A Moment Of Inspiration mid conversation, i am FILLED with the urge to quote WE NEED TO CHECK THE PATIENT'S ASS comic/textpost, except if i do that i will have to then explain what it means, why it is funny, and how i know it, which means i will need to Reveal my tumblr and tbh i don't think EITHER of us are ready for that conversation

[blissfullyecho]

13 essential daily habits i implement to level up and improve myself

number 1: meditation— at least 5 minutes per day

number 2: prayer— morning, afternoon, and night

number 3: going outside— inhaling stale inside air < outside air

number 4: not sitting for more than an hour at a time

number 5: being consistent on this blog (this helps with motivation and is my online journal)

number 6: being active for at least 45 minutes daily— whether it’s a strenuous workout or a hot girl walk

number 7: swapping 30 minutes of a tv show or listening to music with a podcast, self-development video, or reading a book

number 8: positive self-talk / mirror work whenever i walk past a mirror

number 9: falling asleep to affirmations from youtube

number 10: spending less time on my phone— allowing myself 1-2 hours a day on social media and the internet (i used to spend ALL day on my phone)

number 11: drinking at least 60oz of water

number 12: parenting myself (for example: if i’m getting carried away with being on my phone and i have to run errands, i make myself to get off my phone and to walk out the door)

number 13: dedicating an hour in the morning after waking up and an hour in the evening before going to bed for self-care and organization. NO PHONE, TV, FRIENDS, etc.

[parksprout]

Sprout Journal 11/6/24-11/7/24

Wow. This has taken a lot to work up the energy to type, which is unfortunate. I was really enjoying getting into the nightly habit of coming here and unwinding with a bit of self-reflection, oversharing and cracking the occasional poorly worded joke. Yesterday was really a disruptive day, probably the most upsetting day of my life since 2020 and really an absolute low point. I'm feeling winded, exhausted, tired and diminished. Every negative adjective of self description could be applied to me in some regard, but I won't linger for too long on that. Just know that I am a lot worse off than I want to be at this moment, but I'm still trying my hardest to do better <3

My eyes are feeling heavy right now, so I'll type this as fast as my silly, sleepy fingers will let me. Yesterday was a blur. The last thing I did on election night was text my [REDACTED], Aaron, that I was going to bed. It was a bit of a lie, I stayed up for another 15 minutes refreshing the election results and being disappointed by what I saw, then I turned on a soundcloud recording of a YouTube documentary about the andromeda galaxy. I think that Aaron slept to Game Grumps that night, but I can't remember precisely. I woke up only 5 hours later and... I'll admit it, I cried at what I saw online. At the pain I saw entering queer spaces, at the fear that immigrants - citizen or otherwise - were feeling online, the economic and social uncertainty that was entering the collective consciousness. I felt afraid, too. I called off school, sent out some hastily written emails to my professors apologizing but not quite feeling bad about my decision to skip yesterday. I feel like given the breakup, the election and every other tiny thing going wrong in life rn I deserve to skip college if even for a day. So I did that.

I was gonna have to skip a couple of my classes anyway, I had a house tour at noon that I was actually super excited for! And by house tour I mean shitty apartment tour because I am still a college kid and like who tf is out here renting/buying a home in 2024. So I got to the apartment complex and immediately there are some red flags. Firstly it was on a giant ass hill, genuinely a mile long hill ironically named Straight Street when that homie was angular as hell. The actual parking lot of the property was ALSO a hill, a poorly paved one that I almost scraped the bottom of my car driving through. The property itself looked fine from the outside, but there were more red flags as I entered. The shared hallway was reeking of reggie and cigs, there was trash on the floor and the shared laundry facility had mold on one wall. Inside the actual studio unit I started by looking in the bathroom, where I immediately found a dead roach. I asked the property manager "have y'all had any bug issues here" and he lied, then got all flustered when I pointed out the roach. Then I lift the toilet lid... why was there another dead roach in the goddamn toilet water.

I left after that.

From there I decided to go on a long drive. I drove for 45 minutes around the city, parking every once in a while to answer texts and calm myself down. The city was pretty at least, with a gentle breeze and cool weather coming in as the day aged. I ended up in my childhood neighborhood and... I decided it was time to visit my family. I haven't seen anyone I'm related to other than my grandma for about six months until yesterday. I wanted to see my little brother more than anything else, but he didn't get off work until three so I decided to text the Aaron Bnuuy for a bit and start walking the neighborhood. I passed a park that me and my former best friend Sarah used to talk at for hours, and decided right in that moment to text her for the first time in two years. She answered and we're making plans already! We'll meet up sometime later this month for dinner and catching up. But I just wandered the streets, taking in sights and breathing the air.

Calming down. I went to the thrift store and bought nothing, then to Walmart to get myself an instant camera. The bnuuy doesn't know this yet but when I send them their christmas present I'll probably include a couple of polaroids of my cats, stuff I think is pretty around town and maybe a selfie too. I haven't taken the pictures yet, but it'll be nice to give them photos. After walmart I drove to my friend Dylans job and said hi, I also hadn't seen him for six months and... I sorta invited him to hang out that night. The way it worked out, I picked up Dylan, my little brother Cj, and his girlfriend too. We all ended up at my dads house where my older sister lives, and we drank apple cider and listened to Sleep Token, Ghost, Dido, Rufus Wainwrights Hallelujah cover and so much more until I had to leave. It was probably the best way I could've spent a very bad day otherwise.

Today has been a little worse than yesterday honestly. It's got all of the same hopelessness about politics, hopefulness but pain about my relationship, but none of the productivity. Work went well actually, all of my coworkers have actually been treating me a lot better these days ... but one coworker made a joke that really upset me. Luckily it's not someone I work with every day, but they joked about immigrants getting deported. The loml was literally born elsewhere, I do NOT play about that shit so I yelled at them and got myself in trouble by doing it.

There's surely a lot more thats gone on today, without a doubt there is but ... this is so much and I doubt anyone will take the time to read it all. I'm gonna get back in the habit of daily journaling after my workout sessions tomorrow.

I have an archaeology presentation tomorrow at school, wish me luck! I love you Tumblr, goodbye everyone! <3

[study-with-aura]

Monday, March 11, 2024

Normally I would not play games during the week because there is no time, and I want to focus on my studies. Since this is my Spring Break, I made an exception.

Most of this week I will be volunteering in the community with one of my parents. I am looking forward to working at the mission again. It's been a while, and there is always something fun and rewarding to do there.

There is also no dance this week, so I am planning on full yoga/stretch sessions. I stretch and do a few sun salutations every morning after getting out of bed, but it doesn't take that long, so I don't ever make note of it on here. It's one way that I wake up in the morning, and I enjoy it. However, without dance, and the fact that I want to give my body a small break from intensive activities, I still need to keep up with my stretching and then yoga for balance, strength, and harmony. Of course, while doing all of that, I plan to get a docuseries or two in. I can't go a full week without learning anything at all! Plus, there are many related to what I have studied this year, which might be helpful to reiterate everything that I learned with more visuals. After all, I have found that if I can relate a fact to an image or standout situation, I am much more likely to remember it.

The library also has a lot going on this week! I have a two-day camp later this week, and then there's a k-pop get together that is going to be so much fun!

Tasks Completed:

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Piano - Practiced for three hours in one hour split sessions

Reading - Read pages 1-83 of Highly Suspicious and Unfairly Cute by Talia Hibbert

Streaming - Watched episodes 1-3 of Alexander: The Making of a God

Chores - Cleaned my bathroom + cleaned windows in my bedroom and in the study

Activities of the Day:

1 hour morning yoga/stretch

Personal Bible Study (1 Corinthians 13)

Volunteered for 2 hours at the library

45 minutes gaming

1 hour evening yoga/stretch

Journal/Mindfulness

[joshuasearing]

Saturday 3rd June 2023

Hey journal my bad for not writing in here do a good few days but I will talk you through the last few days I may just speak about the three days i have had of work. So Thursday I had an hour and a half driving lesson, this went ok however something did happen that was unexpected. Basically I pulled up on this up curb on this hill, then crazily this man in he’s van came right behind are car then beeped at us. We just was so confused on why he went behind us when we parked up. Anyways as I was about to start my hill start, we get this loud knock on my driving instructors window so the passengers side. Anyways my driving instructor rolled down the window, and the guy just started swearing and being really rude. He was claiming that we were blocking and in the way of he’s drive. We were not in the way of he’s drive at all he’s drive was absolutely clear. Also we parked next to an upcurb which is legal anyways shortly after this we just drove of and carried on with are lesson. The guy just want to have an arguement for no reason. Anyways a few minutes after this i still felt shook up from what just happened this led to me making a few mistakes but that was not my fault he just through me of my game. Anyways at the end of my driving lesson he got me to do a reverse bay park and I smashed it and did it with confidence which is good and is progress. After the driving lesson I went to the gym and I did about a 45 minute leg session. After the gym I walked into town and met up with my friend Daniel and when I’m town we played some games of bowling and we also played pool. So in bowling I ended up losing both games unfortunately then with pool we both won 4 each so it ended 4-4. After all of this we went to Maccies and I got myself to mayo chicken add cheese with a chocolate wispa flurry. After eating this we both walked to my house. Once we got to my house we both just chilled in my room and I watched some interview with Andrew Tate and he just also went onto he’s phone. Then soon he got picked up by he’s dad, once he left I decided to continue to watch the interview then after this i Instagram called my girlfriend.

Now for yesterday, yesterday was pretty shit, I felt like shit and got fuck all done. All I did was play some games on my pc mainly crew 2 and also relaxed in bed and also Instagram called my girlfriend at the end of the day.

Now for today I got up at about 10ish I just relaxed for a little then after a while I had a shower and got ready for the day. Then at about 11 something we left our house as I played in a charity game today. The experience was good however we unfortunately lost this game. We ended up losing 5-3. Last year we won 13-2 and I scored 2 goals. So we were a bit more unfortunate this years game. This year the money donated and made was going British heart foundation I believe. Also this year my dad was the main sponsor which was wonderful and good for my dads business. The thing that I need to improve on for football is my confidence and also my fitness, my fitness is so bad. I run out of energy so quickly. Anyways this has been my past few days I will speak to you later journal. Bye journal!

[fifteenonaskateboard]

14 November 2024 (Thrusday,2:45 PM)

20/100 days of Productivity

Good afternoon, guys! I hope you all are doing well. I woke up around 11 AM, had two glasses of warm water, a banana, and some almonds. After that, I did some stretching and meditation. I am feeling a bit bad about waking up so late, so from tomorrow onwards, I want to wake up earlier, and I will make sure to do so.

My goals for today are:

Read a book

Go for a walk

Do meditation in the evening

Journaling

Study for 1.5 hours

Attend Jeffrey Eisen session

Sleep by 12 AM

Steps That I Can Take to Establish My Sleep Ritual (Ideas taken from the Headspace website)

My Goal is to follow this sleep ritual for a week, starting from today.

I will sleep by 12 AM for the next few days.

Create a bedtime routine: First, I will brush my teeth Then, will spend 15–20 minutes reading at my study table by the gentle light of my lamp, lighting a scented candle and listening to some soundscapes. So, the vibe would be cozy.

I will leave my phone in another room, so I am not tempted to check it before bed. and I will wear my smartwatch so that I can set an alarm for the next day and stay aware of any urgent call.

I hope I really follow this ritual, now I will focus on my goals and will be back at night. Bbye <3

[bell4ncy]

Journal Entry #3 September 15, 2024

That morning, I woke up at 6 AM to pack my bags as my parents came to Bangi to bring me home. At 9 AM, they arrived so I got in the car and we headed to Johor Bahru. I slept through the whole trip. At 1 PM, we were home. I unpack my things and my mom gave me tons of new clothes while my dad just spares me some money. Later at 3 PM, I went to LHDN to get my stamp certificates. Once the stamping had done, I went to PTPTN branch to submit my education loan forms. At 5 PM, my dad took me to Angsana Mall to buy some groceries. Later, I bought a Mixue ice cream. At 6:45 PM, we headed home. I helped my mom by preparing the ingredients to make pasta for dinner. We had dinner at 8 PM. I watched some TV shows with my parents until I passed out.

The next morning, I woke up at 9 AM and took a shower. I had to get ready as my parents asked me to join their breakfast at a restaurant which is 30 minutes away. At 11 AM, we had arrived and I only had beef shawarma as my breakfast because I don't feel like eating much. At 1 PM, my parents took me to go shopping at Lotus's as they would be taking me to a beach. At 3 PM, we got home and I started to pack some equipment such as sand castle mold and a mat to sit on at the beach. My parents took me to the Desaru beach at 4 PM. We got there at 5:30 PM. I had fun building a sand castle and walk around the edge of the water. The sunset was breathtaking. We had burgers as our snack while we were there. At 7 PM, we left the beach. My dad took us to a Ninso store as they were having sales on premium chocolates for a cheaper price. I bought a bag of chocolates that worth about RM115 and of course my dad paid for it. We had dinner at a Siamese restaurant. I had Tom Yum and deep-fried shrimps. At 10 PM, we headed home and I went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up 7 AM to get ready. I submitted my online class tasks and my parents took me to have breakfast. At 8 AM, we were off to Bangi as I need to be at the hostel for tomorrow's physical class. I got to Bangi at 1 PM. I left my bags at the dorm and got into the car again to have family time. We went to Putrajaya Lake because they know that is my favorite place here. At 5 PM, they sent me back to the hostel and I waved my goodbye to them. I went to my dorm and took a nap until 10 PM. Later, my friend called me as he were on his way to the hostel and he bought me something to eat. I had dinner which is a Ayam Gunting and a soda herbs drink. I took a shower and play PUBGM until I fell asleep at 2 AM.

Sincerely,

Nur Farah Najwa

[audrak79]

He Sustains

10/1/24. God’s timing is never wrong. I got another reminder this week of this fact.  Life is tough and we just never know what is coming down the road.  But no matter what, it’s not for us to be consumed with or worried about.  Our focus needs to be on what we are doing right now.  What we do right now should have a kingdom impact, but we shouldn’t be so focused on the worries of tomorrow that we miss an opportunity today. 

This year Transformation Church out of Tulsa, OK released a few new albums.  They are full of amazing talent.  TC’s worship team is phenomenal but they grabbed some of the best of the best to collaborate with; Tauren Wells, KB, Tasha Cobbs Leonard, Jekalyn Carr, Tye Tribbett, Chandler Moore..... Last week, was the release of the album Thy Kingdom Come and one song in particular was RIGHT ON TIME, Sustain.

I’ve never struggled with anxiety or panic, I’ve always felt that I was anchored, solid and grounded handling the stress of life well and therefore was able to help others through their struggles as well.  However, in this season of my life the tables have turned and now I have fallen victim to anxiety. It made me angry at first, likely a result of some pride. Nobody wants to experience anxiety, especially when they have managed 45 years without it.  Most of my anxiety seems to be a result of my lack of sleep.  I lay awake all night, not with anxiety, just my thoughts not stopping.  Often times I play out scenarios of how my day might go, who I’ll talk to, what their response could be, but the bulk of what runs through my mind are song lyrics.  The songs are random, usually something I’ve been using in my workouts at the Y, but they are on super high speed. My mind can barely keep up with them at times. My therapist told me that if I was in bed longer than 30 minutes and not asleep, I need to get up and do something.  Seems logical, but I can’t find the motivation to even get up.  I just fight.  I fight the insomnia thinking I am better than it and that I can will myself to sleep.  I try to go to bed by 10, but then I’m awake at 11:30pm, still watching the clock at 1:30am, and then by 3am I am up for the day but still laying there fighting myself with these songs on repeat at 120 MPH. I finally drag myself out of bed at 5am to start my day at the Y.  I try to reset with some reading and coffee before hitting the law office, and then I struggle all day yawning and crying because I’m so exhausted that every emotion or task is overwhelming and feeling like I can’t breathe. On the days that I do get a little sleep, I feel much better and everything is manageable. I still feel overwhelmed, but not to the point of panic and tears. This has been an ongoing issue for a few weeks now and I started praying as I lay there and asking God, “Why can’t I sleep, what are you trying to tell me?”  I’ve tried it all; melatonin, CBD, magnesium, a glass of wine in the hot tub, reading, reducing caffeine and electronics.... I finally reached out to see my therapist regularly instead of thinking I could just go “as needed” because I realize that what I need is consistency.  I also humbled myself and called the doctor asking for help.  My therapist has me doing breathing exercises and journaling while the doc has me popping pills to get me to sleep.  One med wasn’t enough apparently, because I now have 3 to juggle when the first 2 wouldn’t cut it.  You would think that 3 medications designed for anxiety and sleep would knock down an elephant, but NOPE, not this elephant. 

Yesterday was a tough day.  I cried, a lot.  I managed to get through my class at the Y, hit my favorite spot for reading and tried to pray and reflect on what all this was.  I read a chapter in The Awe of God and sat for bit.  As I was leaving, in tears again, I felt God speak to my heart that this was just something I needed to go through. That I needed to stop fighting the emotions, feel them and then release them to Him.  Just as when Jesus was in the wilderness, His flesh was weak but the Spirit was strong. I need to allow Holy Spirit to do in me whatever He pleases while I just lay all my hurt, my struggles, my pain and my pride at the foot of the cross. So, I cried as drove to the office, I cried at my desk, I had lunch and cried with a friend, then when late afternoon came and I was all alone I locked the door of the office and hit my face to the floor and just cried out to God and asked Him to sustain me and thanked Him.  I needed to be reminded that He is all I need and that if I just simply rely on Him, He will sustain me and get me through whatever all this is. Nothing of this world will ever be able to sustain me, carry me, or provide for me the way God does. Those are temporary fixes to a lifetime problem.  But eternity is coming, and that is where my hope lies. 

I popped my sleep aids last night at 7:30pm and laid down in my bed.  I attempted to read in Romans and as my vision began to blur, I laid my Bible down and my glasses on top of it and just allowed myself to slip into my blanket and drift to sleep.  My daughter was kind enough to shut my light off when she came home.  I rested well and instead of looking at the clock when I did wake up, I began to pray and just thanked God for who He is and for all He provides.  Then the song Sustain by TC began to just run through my head at a normal speed.  Instead of fighting myself and trying to will myself back to sleep, I enjoyed the lyrics of the song and let in minister to my heart.  I had a sub take over my class today at the Y so I was able to stay in bed until 7:30am.  I took my time and enjoyed worshiping in the shower then coffee and breakfast with my daughter. 

So far, I have made it half way through the day without anxiety and without tears (except when I was worshiping, but that always happens 😊 ). Progress! I’m taking time to journal my feelings but also to journal my story. My therapist says if I journal, I'll begin to see my healing. I’ve lived through a lot, most of which I have never really spoke of.  I have lived thinking that if I ignore it, it never happened. I’m learning to share bits and pieces of my history as the Lord directs but it is often hard to trust people with such heaviness. We have normalized for too long staying silent about the things that haunt us.  In the words of Pastor Jerry Flowers, “Secrets don’t keep you safe, they keep you stuck.”  We can learn a lot about our patterns and change them if we simply take the time to study them and heal. We all have a story that needs to be shared, we just don’t know who we may help pull from the pit by allowing God to use our pain for His glory and the good of His people. My testimony is one of victory, acceptance, restoration and reconciliation. Today I choose to allow God to sustain me in my joy and in my pain, in my rest and in my weakness.  

As I decided to get out of bed, I checked my Bible app verse of the day and scrolled on Instagram for a hot minute.  The verse of the day came from 2 Cor. 10:5, which says:  “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,” 2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV. It's not easy to take our thoughts captive, but when the enemy speaks lies to us and we know that it goes against God’s word, we MUST redirect that back to His truth. I know often times I am my own biggest enemy and that’s why I have to stop fighting this season and embrace it, giving it right back to God and counting it ALL joy as I know that “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us”- Romans 5:3-5.

As I finished my morning scroll, there was a picture on Instagram of this girl and she was handing a dark mess up to the hands of the Father and under it was Psalm 55:22: “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalms 55:22 NIV

God’s timing is never wrong, it’s always perfect and right on time.  I will embrace my mess, my pain, my tears and even my anxiety and insomnia and instead of fighting it and focusing on it, I’ll feel it and release it back to my Savior knowing the He will sustain me. This is only temporary, it’s a season and it will pass because joy comes in the morning! My favorite line of the song by TC is “Your promises always come true, not dependent on me but relying on You, Your mercies are new everyday so I will trust You.” Enjoy the song lyrics below, I pray they speak to you as they have spoken to me:

Sustain, as performed by Chandler Moore, Jekalyn Carr and Transformation Worship

Holding on to your Word,

It’s the Light in the dark

Hope for my heart

Seasons come, people change

But you were there at the start

You won’t leave at this part

When my heart fails,

In the Faith I know

I find strength in you alone

You Sustain, You sustain

In the middle of it all

You remain the same

Through the rain, still you reign

You Sustain

Letting go of our fear

Not sure what’s ahead

But I trust what you say

Spirit come have your way

I surrender my pride

Lord here is my life

You sustain, You sustain

In the middle of it all

You remain the same

Through the rain, still you reign

You sustain

Your promises always come true

Not dependent on me

But relying on you

Your mercies are new everyday

So I will Trust you

[wilderanch]

My Dating Profile

TL;DR:

I work, I fix things, I love comedy, I can code, I cook, and I clean; I’ll massage you; I plan to adopt, have kids, or donate sperm in 0-2 years; I'm seeking monogamish connections but I'm open to anything; I like therapy, oversharing, crying during movies, and singing really loud; I have chickens and a very well developed community of chosen family.

A day in my life

7:20 - chores, walk with you, or snooze

7:50 - make bed, cold plunge for 20 breaths, 6 minute workout, cold plunge for 20 breaths, make protein shake, take a dozen supplements, pack car for work

8:15 - go to Piedmont or Alameda for very physical handiwork job

12:30 - mid-day rendezvous with you or eat at home - 45 minutes

5:15 - home again, sing Gaga in the shower, nap for 25 minutes

6:00 - cook dinner & prep lunches, go out, or start a sappy movie

7:00 - eat at home or out

9:00 - dim and redden the lights, have a nourishing intimate conversation with you or on the phone, give a massage if I can

10:30 - practice guitar and wind down

11:15 - lights out and cosleep with you if I can, using a 2 blanket system (separate but overlapping)

Values

Lateral thinking

Let’s be unconventional

Embracing eccentricity

Emotional and personal innovation

I believe human longevity research may confer us additional decades or centuries of health and fecundit Monogamish

I’ve been both monogamous and poly recently

Open to both and especially somewhere in between

Preferably monogamish: a very serious focus on each other, plus some fondness for other people

i.e. I talk often with and have extreme fondness for several female friends, but I don’t actively date or play with them, even if I do review nudes of them sometimes

That fondness and connection is non-negotiable but physicality with them or others is totally negotiable and fine either way Passion

Let’s hang out 2-3x/wk 1:1

Frequently assist in pursuit of your orgasm Non-sexual touch

Cosleeping with you most nights, ideally Community

Let’s hang out with each other’s friends 2-5x/wk Metacognition

Journaling during emotional conversations

Lots of experience with and wisdom from therapy

Efficient and honest processing of hard things Radical self expression

Words of affirmation dramatically enhance sex Leveraging risk

Investing in each other

Day trading volatile stocks like $MSTR

I have a moderate financial safety net in a family business Thrill

I have an encyclopedic knowledge of cars

I drive over 110 mph ~30s/wk Intimacy

Daily sharing of our inner lives Commitment

Let’s move in together in ~6 mos and get married and have kids in 12-24 mos Self knowledge

I’m high functioning ADHD

Self understanding begets self acceptance and compassion for others

I have a lot of training in biology and neuroscience

I heavily emphasize biological factors of mood, e.g. hangry, dopamine drop Respect

Very low tolerance for violent words out of either of our mouths

Healthy habits are self respect

Self respect begets respect for the beloved Radical self reliance

I’m literally a professional with 20 years experience in fixing anything around the house, or in the psyche :P

I dye and cut my own hair Vigilance

vs. willful blindness

My passion can sometimes make me feel Quixotic

Illusion can grip the best of us, in even the most mundane of ways Responsibility

Owning my actions and their effects on people

Raising kids Growth through adversity

Cool people do hard things Teamwork

I don’t care if it’s hard; we’ll get through it together

I want to be married but not with someone who’d be Machiavellian in a divorce Play

Every power couple generates many of their own cutesies, and carries the best ones forward from their past

What I’m working on, aka Zones of Proximal Development

Finding people I can dedicate all his energy to

What if we fostered kids

Looking for partners

Intending to delay exclusivity and intense romance until a mutual, solid, practical fit is clear

Trying to practice greater restraint

Falling in love more slowly

Delaying lots of sex a bit more

Assessing fit together rigorously and explicitly

Boundaries should be clear

Fighting fair

Using NVC even when it’s clunky:

thoughts ➡️ feelings ➡️ needs ➡️ requests

Taking marginally fewer risks

Engaging in local politics

Rejecting gaslighting propaganda

Thinking outside the box

Discussing issues one off

Co-living and community

Most of my friends live in Oakland East of the Lake

I’d like to end up neighbors with my friends

I like Alameda; my parents are in Berkeley

I’d like to share in child rearing with our friends

Music

DIY karaoke, singing in the car, jamming with friends and kids

Teaching myself guitar

I’m an expert whistler

I most enjoy singer songwriters and blink-182

I insist on making playlists together

Progeny and urgency

Feeling the clock ticking

I believe in the near-cosmic significance of participating in the unbroken chain of parents and progeny going back billions of years

I want to have enough kids that enough of them will probably have enough kids to probably have enough to have enough to have enough, etc.

I’m aware this may mean donating sperm; see below for my sperm donation pitch

If I donate sperm, I’d prefer to be known and 1-10% involved, like an uncle or helpful family friend

Adam’s Progeny Pitch

Hi there! I saw you’re looking for an AI donor. Here's my info in case you want to DM! Perhaps let me know if this checklist is useful or could use changes:

Early/first time donor, AI only; happy to ship

I have documentation for recent sperm count and STI tests

I live near San Francisco, CA

Interested in donating because I want to more deeply support and co-create the next generation, especially with LGBTQ community members, and I want to be part of the sacred and unbroken chain of parents and ancestors going back billions of years

I could potentially travel up to six hours by car; happy to do shipping

I’m white, with grey/blue eyes, dirty blonde hair, and mostly English ancestry, partly tracing back through the Midwest and East Coast to the Mayflower and the Battle of Bull Run. Oh, and 1/32 Choctaw Native American from Oklahoma

Age 34, 175 lbs, 5’9”, muscular, with broad hands, feet and gentleman parts

I have high educational attainment, with triple majors in undergrad in Philosophy, Psychology, and Cognitive Science, plus a Master’s in Biotechnology and Data Science

I’m handy, tech savvy, risk tolerant, and fairly financially successful

I am pansexual with a history of dating across the gender spectrum

I’m currently childless and dating

I feel excited and fully transparent to DM, even just for feedback

I’d like 1%-10% involvement: I want to be on good if infrequent terms with the parents over the years, and I’d be excited by 1 to 10 visits a year, or even some babysitting and community sharing

I may even want to setup and contribute to a financial trust for the child

I could pay for some costs, as I’m interested in shared responsibility, and a sense of trust and seriousness

Happy to DM and video call as much as you like. Ask me anything!

[howaboutcastiel-personal]

Journal Entry for Tuesday, February 13, 2024:

Because all I did today was shower, make slaw, fold clothes, and wrap legs. Tomorrow’s plan

I did not get out of bed until 11:30. I likely won’t sleep until 1:30. I’ll set my alarm forward to 8:00. Then set a secondary alarm for 9:45.

For breakfast I should drink a cup of coffee with oat milk, no sugar. Breakfast should either be eggs and toast, a peanut butter sandwich, or cottage cheese with multigrain crackers. Also, I should drink at least 24 oz of water.

Take my meds. Take both vitamins as well. And then brush my teeth.

Yoga and stretching for 10 minutes after getting dressed. Doesn’t matter what it is, just move around for 10 minutes in a not-just-walking way.

Clean the kitchen. Dishes should be mostly done—do them again. There will be breakfast dirty dishes. Organize the cabinet, clean out the fridge, clean off the table. It’s trash day, so do a full purge.

Lunch should be a chicken bowl, burritos, tuna salad, or leftovers from Mimi’s. Depending on what breakfast was. Dinner will be chicken pie.

No TikTok, no Sims. Only allowed to watch cable television or Deadwood. Or non-sims YouTube, but only if a new video is posted.

Walk the dog at least twice. Step goal is 4000, and he hasn’t gotten to walk lately.

Cut the chicken before boiling it. Cut down cook time, cool time, and make shredding easier. Green beans and corn to go with it. If there’s not corn, do macaroni and cheese.

Drink at least 32 more oz of water. Goal is a total of 96 oz. No more than one glass of tea.

Other stuff

Goal is to write that next chapter of New Way. If able or possible, read one fic under 30,000 words.

Draw something freehand with pencil. With pen. With crayon. With crayola markers.

[suqqubus]

not long ago I used to wake up at 6:30 AM workout 45-60 minutes make a smoothie bowl w fresh fruit drink mushroom tea take supplements stretch regularly wear blue light glasses listen to enriching podcasts get all my work done early make a healthy plant based dinner do my hobbies get ready for bed before 10 PM get in bed journal read and go to sleep before 11 PM

[amarantine-amirite]

Lost Connections

"Astrid, where is my work phone?"

I had it. I picked up my Mom's work phone thinking it was my phone.

I wanted to tell Mom that I mixed it up with my phone, but she interrupted me. "What did you do with it? I need to know because I got an email from my boss saying I didn't show up to work today"

The minute I tried to get my words together to tell Mom what happened to the work phone, she interrupted me again. "Astrid, this isn't funny. My boss told me that the cybersecurity department wants a word with me regarding a data breach."

I knew exactly what she was talking about once she mentioned the data breach. I had a Wall Street Journal article open. I thought I had closed the phone before I sat down, but I hadn't.

When I sat down, I accidentally clicked the link to the author's email. The link didn't behave like an email link, but a phone number. Clicking the link caused the phone to call some sketchy 1-900 number. I couldn't get it to hang up.

A hacked phone can spell disaster. It can compromise all the stuff that's on the phone. Mom doesn't have the luxury of keeping anything with sensitive information off this work phone. Payroll makes everyone at the company keep an online banking app on their phone. They also have to keep a two-factor authenticator to not just access internal pages, but so HR can take attendance. These apps all contain a shitload of PII that criminals can easily access.

Thankfully, it's easy to stop the malware from spreading. All you have to do is open the back of the phone and remove the SIM card.

Mom stayed quiet. I finally had a chance to tell her where the phone was before she interrupted me again. "I picked it up by mistake," I said, "It's in my bedroom by the charging stand." I tried to plug it in, but the charger for my Obama-era iPhone 3 doesn't mate with Mom's iPhone 11.

Mom went into my room and picked up the phone. "Why does it say SIM Unavailable?" she hollered, "What did you do with the SIM card?"

I froze. I had an issue getting the SIM card out. It took me half an hour to peel the back of the phone off and roughly 45 minutes to get the safety pin to engage with the SIM card. Once I finally got the damn thing dislodged, the SIM card flung out of my view and I elbowed one of the theater kids right in the nose. I can still hear her squeal, "My nose job!"

"Astrid, this isn't funny," Mom barked, "I need to know where the SIM card is for that phone."

I hesitated. I dropped it after getting it out of the phone, but I didn't know where it landed. "I think I dropped it somewhere," I shrugged.

I could sense her anxiety turning into frustration. "That isn't good. Where did you drop it?" she huffed.

I racked my brain trying to think of all the hard-to-reach places where I dropped the SIM card. Between floorboards, into a toilet, down a vent, none of them rang a bell. I am not exaggerating when I say I do not know where this thing landed. "I don't know, I didn't hear where it landed."

Mom shook her head. "Losing the SIM card is a firing offense, got it?" she growled, "I could get in a ton of trouble for this. I'm already in hot water for not showing up, and between that and the SIM card and the data breach, the very best-case scenario I'm looking at here is a 75% pay cut." She screamed loud enough that I fell over.

A pall hung over the rest of the evening. Mom didn't talk to me at all. I still couldn't understand why she was so upset about what was effectively an honest mistake.

It took me forever to go to bed that night. I got into bed at 10:00 but didn't fall asleep until 1 AM. Right as I got down, it came to me.

"Wait, I think I remembered where the SIM card landed," I blurted out as I sat up in my bed.

Mom stumbled out of bed in a hurry and came into my room. "Where?" she panted.

"It went out the window and landed in an open manhole."

[joshuasearing]

Thursday 9th November 2023

Hey journal so I started the day off by resting for a while. Then I wrote in my journal. Then after this I also had some food and got ready for the day. Shortly after my mum dropped me off to the gym. I had a good gym session yesterday. I focused mainly on legs but did also a bit of bicep exercises. The session was really good to be fair. I also did forearms as well and I recorded some videos for my gym tiktok. Then after the gym I went to the shop and got myself some cookie dough ice cream. Then I walked home, when walking home it was chucking it down with rain. Like I’m really bad. I also had no coat. So instead of complaining I sort of embraced it and it was actually fun. It was really refreshing. I also listened to music on my headphones and danced in the rain whilst walking home. I also took some photos in the rain for my Instagram. Anyways once I got home i had some food and also had the ice cream. Then also when at home I relaxed for a little bit. Also yesterday rocket league brought out a lighting McQueen car which i am still so gassed about. As cars was on of my favourite childhood films, so it was brilliant that they were merging with one of my favourite games as well. Also at about 6pm for 30 minutes I looked after my brother whilst they went to he’s parents evening. Apparently the parents evening went really well and that he is top of he’s class in near enough everything. Anyways when looking after him I played some rocket league with him on the switch. Also when doing this I spoke to faith on snap call at the same time. After all of this I went live on tiktok for a couple hours on my pc and played fortnite with Daniel. Then after this I got ready for bed, did my documenting my mental health video and also called Faith again before going to bed. Anyways speak to you later journal, bye journal!

Anyways today started off really bad I didn’t get much sleep so I felt tired and kept on falling back to sleep I also did not feel great mentally this morning. I ended up getting to work about 45 minutes late which is not great at all. Anyways once I was at work I was on in store for a couple hours, then I got put on break. On break I had my food then wrote in my book journal. I also did some posing in the toilets for my gym tiktok account. Then after my break for an hour i was on in store. Then at 11 I was put on Freida and was on there for about 2 and a half hours which was stress as it was really hot on there and I don’t really like the station. Then for the last couple hours of my shift I was on in store. Then after work I quickly got myself a double cheeseburger with my points from my app I then got the bus to the gym. Once I got there I got myself some water. Then I started working out. Today I focused on chest and biceps. I was also coming with Daniel today however the buses were taking ages for him so he got there after about 25 minutes of me already working out. Anyways after a little work out with Daniel I walked home with him. I also got myself a cookie dough ice cream. Then once I got home Daniel walked with him and he was offered inside. Then my dad offered him to go to the quiz with us. As I’ve got to a Maidstone United quiz. I am now currently at the quiz right now with my dad and Daniel. Anyways before leaving me and Daniel had some dinner and watched some YouTube. Anyways I will speak to you later journal, bye journal.

[homefitpilates]

A typical day in my life

I usually wake up at 7:00 and do my workout routine right away for maximum 45 minutes and then I took a shower drink my lemon water and get ready for the day by 10:00.

I then go to work from 11:00 to 1:00 at a restaurant after that I have classes from 2:00 to 6:00 and then again I take bus to work and i get off at 8:00.

My night routine usually follows by doing my homework writing my journal and doing skin care. I am in bed by 1:00.

[stormy333]

Day TEN! (Double Digits)

Hey Loves! Guess what?!?!? Today we hit double digits with the blog challenge! Wowza that's wild! 

So like how's your September going? We're ten days in and still here right? Anyways I hope your September is treating you well now let's get into today's topic of the challenge. 

Daily Routine 

Fun fact I actually have three different kinds of routines one for Sunday, one for the days I work and one for the days I am off. 

We'll start with Sunday

Sunday we (me and my parents) go to church at about 10:00 am and luckily we live about 5-10 minutes up the road from the church we go to soooo I sleep in until about 9 and then get dressed and make my bed while I get dressed. Then I take my morning medication, then we're ready to go. 

Church usually lets out between noon and one. So it's time to take my mid-afternoon dose of my four time a day medication. My family and I sometimes go out on Sunday's and sometimes we stay in and sometimes I stay home while my parents go out on the bike for a bit BUT either way Sundays we always have family time. We're mostly "early birds" around here, mostly because of my dad's job, he has to leave early. When my parents head to their room around about 7 begin the final steps of my night:

Feed the cats

Making sure my bedroom is tidied up (laundry put away, catbox cleaned, floor swept if it needs it, anything like that)

After that's all done it's time to take my nightly medications and the final dose of the four times a day medication 

Finally it's time for my devotions and my prayer journal

Now for the Day's I Work

Typically the days I work go the same as the rest of the days through the week just slightly different. I get my start at 5:30-5:45, I get up, get dressed and make my bed, while making sure that I have all of my stuff together for the day (I always do a double check the morning of). Then it's time to leave and head to work at like 6-6:30, occasionally we go to get iced coffee before work. As soon as I get to my Aunts house at about 7-7:15 my work day begins. Starting with breakfast, then helping getting my cousin ready for the day, starting his computer up so it can be booted up for classes. At 8 class starts and the school day begins. Around 10:15 it's lunch and recess time, now mind you all through him working on school I'm there listening to help him if need be, but I work on a blog and read. At lunch I take the dogs outside and make sure that they have food and water then get back to the kiddo. 11:30 we're back in class and I'm back writing or reading. By 2:30-2:35 school lets out and we get to go swimming as long as he's had a good day of course. Around 3-3:35 we head in and get changed into warm clothes and turn on a show and I get my stuff together to go home. Finally my work day ends when my Aunt comes home from work around 4-4:30. 

When I get home my parents and I usually watch a show or two while we eat dinner. Then it's nightly routine time. 

Feed the cats

Making sure my bedroom is tidied up (laundry put away, catbox cleaned, floor swept if it needs it, anything like that)

After that's all done it's time to take my nightly medications and the final dose of the four times a day medication 

Finally it's time for my devotions and my prayer journal

Now for a regular day

Again like a typical day it has all the fields, well maybe not all of them, but most of them. Take my medication throughout the day like I'm supposed to, talk to my best friend throughout the day randomly, talk to my mom randomly, and write for the blog. Now heres the difference, on these days I don't have an alarm, so no set time to get up though I usually am up by 8:30-9, let the dogs out, get the cats food and water, get breakfast and watch some tv, then I go and make my bed (if I feel up to it), typically I try to get a shower while no one is home and that usually goes hand in hand with getting my room cleaned and laundry done. Then I sometimes lay down for a bit, and once my parents are home my night goes the same as the rest.

Feed the cats

Making sure my bedroom is tidied up (laundry put away, catbox cleaned, floor swept if it needs it, anything like that)

After that's all done it's time to take my nightly medications and the final dose of the four times a day medication 

Finally it's time for my devotions and my prayer journal

Sorry Loves I know this one is kinda boring but it's how I do things. Anyway stay tuned for the rest of the challenge, maybe even subscribe? Who knows what adventures await us! 

Until next time Loves💙

[krishnasangani]

WEEK 6: FEB 26 - MAR 4

Hello, This is my summary for Week 6, which started on February 26, 2023, and ended on March 4, 2023. This week I was able to sleep earlier than usual, avoided social media, and replaced it with reading books and journalizing before going to sleep. I noticed that I woke up at my intended time most days of the week, and my sleeping schedule improved. Additionally, on some days, I drank hot chocolate and tea as an alternative to coffee.

February 26, 2023

Slept: 2:30 am and Woke up: 11:20 am

Total Hours of Sleep: 8 hours and 30 minutes

Coffee Intake: none 

Cause of sleeping at this time: I slept late because I binge-watched Outer Banks with my friends. 

The effect after waking up: I woke up super late, which made me feel unproductive. I overslept. 

February 27, 2023

Slept: 1:00 am and Woke up: 7:30 am 

Total Hours of Sleep: 6 hours and ten minutes

Coffee Intake: none

Cause of sleeping at this time: I was reading long articles for academic purposes. 

The effect after waking up: I woke up at my intended time but felt a bit sleepy. 

February 28, 2023

Slept: 12:40 am and Woke up: 7:00 am 

Total Hours of Sleep: 6 hours and 15 minutes 

Coffee Intake: 1 iced coffee at 7:15 am 

Cause of sleeping at this time: I was editing a video and finishing up my readings. 

The effect after waking up: I woke up 30 minutes late and felt a bit sleepy in the morning. 

March 1, 2023

Slept: 11:55 pm and Woke up: 8:00 am 

Total Hours of Sleep: 7 hours and 55 minutes 

Coffee Intake: 1 hot coffee at 11:20 am 

Cause of sleeping at this time: I was editing my planner and reading a book. 

The effect after waking up: I woke up at my intended time and had a perfect amount of sleep. 

March 2, 2023

Slept: 11:40 pm and Woke up: 7:30 am 

Total Hours of Sleep: 7 hours and 34 minutes 

Coffee Intake: 1 hot coffee at 8:15 am 

Cause of sleeping at this time: I was studying for an accounting quiz

The effect after waking up: I felt energized and woke up at my intended time.

March 3, 2023

Slept: 12:00 am and Woke up: 7:00 am 

Total Hours of Sleep: 6 hours and 55 minutes 

Coffee Intake: 1 hot coffee at 9:13 am 

Cause of sleeping at this time: I was studying for a quiz and organizing my journal

The effect after waking up: I woke up feeling fresh and ready to start a productive day. 

March 4, 2023

Slept: 12:30 am and Woke up: 8:35 am 

Total Hours of Sleep: 7 hours and 45 minutes 

Coffee Intake: none (replaced it with hot chocolate)

Cause of sleeping at this time: I was watching a movie with my family

The effect after waking up: I woke up 5 minutes late, but I was completely rested. 

Sleeping Average for Week 6 - Using the Health App

What I should improve on

I should improve on going to bed early, before midnight.

What should I maintain on

I should continue reading or writing journals instead of scrolling over social media before bed.

Maintain drinking coffee once daily or find alternatives such as tea and hot cocoa to replace coffee.

Using the SleepWatch and Health application to track my sleep.

Continue maintaining a 7-hour average time asleep.

What should I stop continuing

I should avoid sleeping at 2:30 am and waking up late as it results in oversleeping.

Recommendations/Suggestions for the week onwards

I should start meditating to have better sleeping rhythms.