#but idk what their usual way of doing things would be to make the modus operandi part of the title make sense lol

[mochasucculent]

Yea idk how I haven't shared them here yet but here's some doodles of Tabitha and "Apathy" (she ain't got a name yet), the two protags of my ghost story!

Grieving after the sudden loss of her grandmother, Apathy accidentally becomes bound to the spirit of Tabitha, a young girl who was murdered in the 1870s. Stuck together in unfamiliar circumstances, the two must discover how to send Tabitha on to the afterlife, and if they even can.

UPDATEEEEEEEEE Apathy's name is Naomi :)

[thir10th]

hi love! i'd like to req emily smut, maybe a little more on the rough side if you'd be comfortable with that, where she gets jealous over reader and shows that through sex

if you want something less vague, it could be when reader brings emily lunch to her office and morgan keeps flirting with her, leading to some action in emily's office

I'll be doing these two together cause why not. I hope you don't mind! thanks for requesting, and I hope you liked it!!

jealousy - Emily Prentiss x fem!reader

summary: see the asks, it's a mix of both, it kind of took a turn, but i hope you still enjoy it! tw: jealousy, a very poor try at dom Emily, fingering, breast play?, idk tws are so hard once you've finished writing🥲, i think that's it lmk if i'm missing smth a/n: no idea if there's a way for me to link both asks here, someone lmk if there is

It's only 8.00 am when you enter the police station, two bodies in the past 12 hours required the early hours, everyone had to be focused, your mind had to be only in one place. However, this wasn't the case for all the people on that room.

The local police officer at the head of the case had some other things in his mind.

He starts by boldly checking you out, looks at you up and down, stopping and staring at the short tank top you were wearing, which makes you uncomfortable enough to cover yourself with your arms as much as you can.

The look your girlfriend sends to him doesn't go unnoticed to you, you start to believe she will set him on fire just with her stare, she places herself covering your body to shake his hand, which she gripes a bit too harder than the usual.

If you didn't know her any better, you would say she is jealous.

But there was just no way, right? Emily Prentiss doesn't get jealous, she's too confident for that, she has you so well wrapped around her finger, she doesn't need to be jealous. Right?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

"so you think this... unsub like you call him, could be on a killing spree because of his mother?" the agent asks you, staring at the last picture you just sticked to the board with a puzzled look.

"we're positive, we've seen this modus before, it's a clear pattern" you explain

"ugh, so talking about mommy issues" you can't help the little snicker that scapes your lips.

He looks triumphant, fully believes he's got you under his spell. He couldn't be more wrong.

The familiar hand that slides behind you on your lower back makes you jump, Emily comes around you, standing closer than she usually does.

"hey, what were you talking about?" she asks, tilting her head.

"oh, nothing just the case" you say, unbothered.

"just the case huh?" you turn your head to see how she's staring at him, as he walks away from you both.

"Em? what is it?" you ask suspicoisly.

"nothing, i just don't understand, what could be so funny if you were just talking about the case..." she says sarcastically

"oh my god" you try to keep your voice down, but the excitement is still noticeable "oh my god, Emily, you're jealous!"

"what? What do you mean I'm jealous?" her voice a couple octaves higher, making it so obvious to you she's lying.

"that's not even a real answer!" you say.

"ugh..." she lets out one of those little sounds she always makes when she knows she's been caught, you think it's adorable.

"ok, so maybe... maybe I just... don't like the way he looks at my girlfriend, so sue me!" she tries defending herself, but you couldn't take it seriously for your life, you find it adorable, the slight pink tinting her cheeks, her reassuring hand still resting on your lower back.

"Emily, c'mon, you know i love you" you kiss her cheek, she kisses you back but still doesn't look so convinced.

The thing is, you could not be any less attracted to that man, there was no way in the world you would find his flirting any appealing, but the idea of teasing Emily sounds too exciting.

A little fun never hurt anyone, right?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

"...hellooo, earth to Prentiss?"

Morgan waves a hand in front of Emily’s face and she’s brought back to reality.

"what?" she asks.

"i said, could you please put your frown away, you're scaring Reid" Spencer doesn't even hear the comment, too focused on the case file to even pay attention to the conversation that was taking place right beside him.

"my frown is just where it has to be, thank you" she says raising an eyebrow at that.

Derek gives a scoff, and Rossi chuckles at the whole stupidity of the situation. “If y/n can’t feel your stare burning a hole in her back, when she turns and sees you, she’s sure gonna think you're planning a murder.”

"i might just be" she mutters

"I think I know what's going on" Rossi intervenes "she isn't looking at y/n" he explains pointing at you "I think someone might be jealous"

You are only a few feet away, discussing your last findings with the detective, trying to laugh at every little thing he says, making sure Emily is watching.

"I'm not jealous" she defends "she is so clearly not interested, but what if she needs me to step in?" her attempt to make up a good excuse isn't good enough for any of them to buy it

"if that helps you, but all i can hear is jealousy" a big, cocky smile spread on Morgan's face, it's only making her angrier

"c'mon, or we will too have to face the consequences of the territorial monster of jealousy when it explodes" Rossi says, dragging Morgan away

"yeah, mark your territory" Morgan laughs, while Emily gives him the finger "go get her lover!"

It's your loud chuckle that draws the line for her. When you finally get away from the persistent officer, you turn to see Emily isn't there anymore, taking your phone you see 2 new message from her.

From Em💕: you better knock your shit off baby.

From Em💕: That's it. You're so in for it later.

That one makes your heart throb, it shortly makes you wonder if you had taken it too far. This was not gonna end well for you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Hotch decides to call it for the day, sending you off to start fresh in the morning, when a male voice you had heard enough already, calls your name

"Agent, I was wondering if you would be in for a drink with me?" he asks, eyeing you up and down yet again.

You are so sure you would find it just as disgusting if you weren't so gay, and so in love with your girlfriend.

"oh, sorry but no, actually, I-" a much more familiar female voice interrupts you "she's with me" Emily says.

He can't believe his eyes, Emily wraps her arm around your waist pulling you close to her body "hi babe" she says, kissing your lips, you return the kiss, a bit amused at her jealousy, but loving the possessiveness she was showing.

"Sorry, you were saying?" she asks, the man still open-mouthed, he can't bring himself to even speak.

"nothing... ugh, good night, agents" he dismisses you, and walks away defeated.

Emily and you head out of the bullpen, her arm still securely wrapped around your waist, she slides her hand on your back pocket, grabbing a handful of your ass possessively, making you chuckle.

"wanna talk about it?" you ask her innocently

"oh we are gonna be doing a bit more than talking you and me"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Emily doesn't even leave time for the door to close, and you have a split second to register your thoughts before she closes the door and walks over in one long stride and slams you into the wall.

Her mouth attacks yours in a hungry, desperate kiss, her tongue invading in a fight for dominance, that you just let her win, she is determined to have her way with you, and you aren't going to stop her.

She wasted no time in getting her hands on you, roughly rubbing her hands over your exposed skin. You, however, delicately placed your arms around her neck and when you both pulled apart to breathe.

"what's wrong, Em?" you ask her, breathlessly

"you know what? For starters, I didn't like the way he was looking at you" she starts, her breath warm against your skin, she lowers her head getting your neck, kissing it so sweetly you feel you could melt

she is quick to find your pulse point, mouth-opened kisses all over your skin, she nips all over your spot, which makes you moan

"but then imagine my surprise when i saw you, flirting back" her hand finds her way underneath your shirt, reaching for your breast, she finds no more resistance as you aren't wearing a bra, your other nipple peaking through your shirt in excitement.

She uses her free hand to grip your ass, you jump at the feeling whimpering on her mouth, her closeness only making you more excited.

"but you don't like him, do you, baby?" she asks, teasing you, she leaves a soft kiss on your lips

"he wouldn't stand a chance, we both know men aren't really your type" Emily says lowly, nipping at the tender spot behind your ear. 

She slips her leg between yours, a soft moan escapes your lips.

"so you just wanted to make me jealous" you're too deep in her dominance to even register anything, letting out soft whimpers every time her thumb brushes against the nub and grips the soft skin of your breast

"god... Emily" you let out, as Emily pulls your thighs apart with her hand.

"you know, baby, if you wanted me to fuck you, you could've just asked" she attacks your neck again, sucking hard enough to leave purple marks you couldn't care any less about now.

Emily presses her fingertips against the crotch of your jeans "your clothes. Take them off or I'll rip them off" she commands, taking a step back from you, leaving too little space to maneuver.

You knew better than to tease her when she was like this. A shiver of excitement runs through your back, and you comply.

You take your jeans off then, your shirt, quickly throwing them somewhere far on the room.

You move to kiss her again, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her in for a kiss, but she doesn't let you, instead she grabs you by your thighs, lifting you up.

You wrap your legs around her waist, she carries you to bed, laying you down just harshly enough to make you even more excited for whats to come.

"you are gonna do exactly what i ask you to tonigh, you know why, baby?" you hold your breath, you're not sure if she actually wants you to answer, but you try nonetheless "because I'm yours"

Your answer seems to satisfy her, as she begins kissing her way down your body, taking special care to nip at your collarbone and stomach to leave more marks than the one's on your neck.

The soft cloth of her shirt rubs against your skin and as if just now realising she was still dressed, you grab the hem of her shirt and help her take it off, throwing it somewhere in the vicinity of the room, like you had done with your own clothes.

And not a moment later, she is back to kissing your body, stopping suddenly when she reached the hemline of your underwear.

Her hand navigates down them, she dips low enough to collect your arousal on her fingertips before rubbing your clit forcefully. Your body reacts immediately, curling forward. "Em!" you moan

"what's wrong baby? Cat got your tongue? use your words, if you want me to stop the teasing, just say it"

"fuck...Em, please, I'm yours, please Emily, yours" you confirm, closing your eyes and letting your hips rock against her hand.

“Who are you this wet for?” Emily demands, nipping at your earlobe.

"just you" you whimper, desperation starting to build in your lower stomach

"that's right baby" the cocky smile on her lips makes your eyes roll. You obviously loved slow, romantic love making with your grilfriend, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't love this side of her just as much.

She continued to move her fingers inside of you and you met each thrust but you almost fell apart when she pressed her thumb against your clit and rubbed hard.

She uses her free hand to play with your breast, you let out a gasp when her tongue moves over it spurred you on and she begins to gently suck on it while her hand still caressed your other breast. 

You melt into the mattress at her words. "let go, c'mon baby, I got you" you cum on the spot, as she fucks you through your orgasm, she let's you ride your high.

Emily lays down beside you as you come down from the climax, she kisses your lips softly, lovingly this time, less urgent.

"you know i didn't mean any of it right? I was just playing with you, i love you. He didn't stand a chance" you try to clarify

"yes baby, i know, i love you too, i wasn't so harsh with you right?" she asks concerned. Sometimes you can't believe how Emily's mood changes so fast, from all dominating, incredibly sexy, to concerned, soft girlfriend.

"Em, it was perfect" you say, grabbing her face and pecking her lips "you are perfect" you kiss her again.

"well, good, because we're just getting started, i'm not sure you've learned your lesson yet" she grins.

"Like i said, I'm all yours, agent Prentiss" she sits to straddle you, and you grab her face to pull her in for another kiss.

Emily caresses your neck with her thumb, looking at the purple marks she had previously left "this will be hard to cover tomorrow"

"who says I'm covering them?"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Sitting on your usual spot on the plane, you lay behind Emily's amr, resting your head on her shoulder as she reads.

You aren't oblivious of the look on Morgan's face, right in front of you.

The shirt you chose had your neck and cleavage all on display, small and big purple marks cover your skin.

He stares bluntly at you, a cheeky smile covering his face "So y/n, looks like you and Prentiss had yourselves a good night. Care to share?"

Emily gives him the finger.

"in your dreams" you say.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

wow! a lot longer than i expected it to be! finishing this one gave me a headache so please like and reblog if you liked it, and as always feedback is greatly appreciated! <333 reqs still open as always!

[nitewrighter]

I dunno about you, but in MAwS, I feel like things are building up to a big confrontation between Lois and Clark where she calls him a liar, and he just straight up goes "look, when I said I don't know, I literally do not know where I came from. I'd know a lot more if I knew what my computer ghost dad was saying, but that is a lengthy work in progress."

--and Lois is just poleaxed because that is a lot more about himself than she was expecting to get out of Clark, but it also explains absolutely fuck-all, so Clark just bites the bullet and flies her to Smallville so she can meet his parents, and experience The Ship™ for herself.

I mean from the looks of the 'next week preview' I think Lois is concerned about trying to get Clark to feel comfortable enough to tell her on his own, because she knows Superman is uncomfortable and flighty, but she still has a lot of trust for Clark and like, now that she knows Superman isn't just this weird sketchy hot guy in a tight outfit but rather her deeply kind and caring coworker, she's coming to this understanding of, "Oh okay he actually really doesn't know and he's just trying to do good."

I honestly feel like she's going to push Clark to actually figuring out what the hell The Ship™ is and how it works and maybe recording samples of Jor-El's hologram for a cryptologist to figure out what the hell he's saying--or even try to recognize its patterns herself (maybe more Korean Lois content because Korean is historically a very consciously structured language??? But also what Kryptonian we have heard seems to follow a pretty western cadence so idk...I'd love to see the conlang notes on this show if there are any).

It would be interesting to see her like... pursue something and solve a mystery not out of crazed "I need to prove myself" journalistic instinct but rather because she deeply cares about Clark and is recognizing more and more how much not knowing who or what the fuck he is is weighing on him. Also, it would be really interesting if that ends up making her way more focused and patient as a reporter rather than her usual modus operandi which has been, "I need to prove myself so bad I actually end up self-destructing by never actually doing what Perry asks of me."

[lesbianmarrow]

okayyyy time to talk about legends of tomorrow 5.14 “the one where we’re trapped on tv.” SO much to say about this one i dont think i will be able to say it all in one post but i can give the overview at least. i loved this one so much, might be my new favorite episode even. truly outstanding piece of television i think. 

first off i love that mona is our viewpoint character, and then later gary as well. although both are legends theyre much more on the periphery and theyre also both fans of the legends. so it makes sense for them to be our entry into this world as well as the audience members in-universe. i also think mona as a character fits really well as a kind of everyman. i think her story in season 4 was stronger when she was that everyman kind of looking in to the wacky world of the legends, instead of when she became the werewolf creature. gary is far less of an everyman but then i guess that’s why he’s the fringe weirdo in this episode. there’s something so sinister about how mona’s life sucks so much - her job is dull and actively makes life worse for others, she’s socially isolated, her food is yucky - and her one joy seems to be watching tv, but even the tv she watches is laden with propaganda meant to keep her compliant in her oppression. i think that does a great job of highlighting why tv has such a powerful effect on people, even “lowbrow” tv that isn’t very intellectual and that people just watch as a way of relaxing. harmful messaging hurts more when it comes from something that’s supposed to be comforting. 

i’ve seen some episodes of friends so i was delighted to see the “ultimate buds” set that was so much like friends. i found it really interesting how the dialogue style and even the rhythm changed so much in this segment to reflect the kind of friends comedy style. the show did a great job of imitating that style. i don’t know the friends characters that well but my guess was that zari was monica and behrad was ross and nate was joey? i thought it worked pretty well with their characters. LOVED seeing the return of zari 1 even though it’s probably temporary. she was kissing nate a little too much for my taste but her reaction to meeting behrad made up for it. it’s so neat how tala ashe plays zari 1 and zari 2 so differently. one other thing i liked was the “but on the other hand...why not?” joke that ran through this episode. it’s a good way of moving the plot along and seems to reference how characters in sitcoms (and i guess tv in general) don’t always behave the most realistically but act in heightened ways for the sake of comedy and to make the show worth watching. but i also feel like it’s indicative of legends of tomorrow’s modus operandi which is to lean into the ridiculous as hard as possible because why not? 

i dont know much about downton abbey, i never watched it, so i think i got less out of that section of the show than the others. still you know the period piece aspect was lots of fun and it was wild hearing matt ryan do like an english accent. or whatever accent it is idk but like different from his usual one you know. kind of fun to have all these nonwhite characters in this genre that is usually focused on rich white people. behrad x astra is not a ship i have any interest in but that’s fine. constantine being a magic user but hiding his magic abilities and seeing them as something to be ashamed of is interesting, feels like a homophobia metaphor perhaps. when he did the spell with the jack of wands tarot card i was like wait a sec theres no jacks in tarot! but i looked up the page of wands & knight of wands and they both seem somewhat legends of tomorrow esque so thats something....i did really like astra’s plot toward the end where she wants to return to the fantasy where she has her mom but she realizes she has to move on with her life because it’s what her mother would want for her. and i like that constantine is willing to support her either way. i found it really touching, and very believable here although it may not have been so believable if it had been executed some other way. 

star trek section was soooooo good. genuinely i think all k/s shippers should watch those parts even if they dont watch legends of tomorrow bc oh my goodness!!!! ive said before that sara & ava are very kirk & spock, both individually and as a duo. sara has that kind of rogueish charm and unwavering faith in her crew that is very captain kirk. and ava sticks closely to the rules and also is a bit of an outsider due to her clone status, which is like mr spock. even sara being bi and ava being lesbian is like. yeah. and they balance each other out as leaders, as this episode shows. it’s insane and wonderful to me how this section not only references kirk and spock but also k/s as a ship that fans adored. like theres the part where sara & ava are sort of fondly bickering with each other over whether or not to blow the ship up and sara kind of leans in close to ava and it’s very very tos k/s, only with a pair of characters whom we know are actually in love with each other. and then theres another part where theyre arguing again with their faces close together and it’s really cute and gay. also thought it was funny how both the male and female crewmembers were in revealing outfits. it’s equality! caity lotz’s shatner imitation was soooo funny, like how she would emphasize random words and was just so over the top. jes macallan’s nimoy imitation was lots of fun as well. i like when they get their memories back and ava is tempted to stay in the show because it’s safer, but sara convinces her that they have to go back because being true to themselves no matter the risk is more important than living a safe life that doesn’t matter. and then they kiss!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 

“repress” song was funny as hell. interesting that everyone got memories of zari 1 back! wonder what will happen there. also interesting how zari 1 and zari 2 got split into 2 people. i feel like that won’t last but it is nice to see zari 1 back for now. i really liked how zari and the others turned directly to the screen and said not to eat mush just because everyone tells you to but to rebel against your oppression and demand better for yourselves. when mush is all youve consumed all your life you cant imagine anything outside of mush....but in truth there are so many more flavors and textures than mush, even though mush is all the powers that be want you to consume. and you need to go out there and find those other kinds of flavors and textures, and create them yourself even! i’m not actually still talking about mush here if you couldn’t tell. 

ive been kind of talking around it this whole post, and that’s because i don’t actually want to explore this idea in a tumblr post but rather something bigger, and it’s that this whole episode is about queerness in mass media, and the effect that the suppression of queerness in mass media has on its audience, and the powerful effects of representation. legends of tomorrow has always been interested in the power of fiction to influence reality, and a lot of times i find it kind of corny how they explore that idea, but here i think it really lands. as a show with a plethora of lgb(still no t) representation, and as a very self-reflexive show, i think the show is well-prepared to examine the importance of lgbtq representation and the consequences of not having that representation. i also find it sort of fascinating how the episode uses these 3 different popular tv shows from 3 different eras in tv to show how homophobia in tv has manifested differently over the years based on the times but how it is always present. and then there is also charlie’s closeting of herself along with her friends which is such a compelling direction to take the character after this season where her sisters have hunted down her and her friends because of her deviance. all in all really incredible episode and i’m intrigued to see how this season ends. 

[ellicler]

idk it's not that i think the claire brothers wouldn't *morally* kill off a competitor in the union elections - even though i think their usual modus operandi is much closer to Bribe & Intimidate, no need to escalate and leave a bloody trail when 'normal' methods are enough - but i find it *really* implausible that they'd manage to convince iosef dros to do their dirty work for them. it's a major sticking point for me that made me subconsciously reject most of his story wholesale until i just sat down and realised it makes enough sense if you exclude the shadowy socialist dirty dealings from it. a major drawback of the final act for me.

also i don't get the thing with acele's drug lab being inspired/supported by the claires. they have a good thing going with the smuggling and presumably have a deal with puta madre through ruby: a certain cut of the profits, controlled distribution, security, no in-fighting or competition, and the locals (hardies) are very happy about all of it, bc only controlled quantites reach the local population and it's presumably miles better than what they used to have. why would the claires sabotage all of this? as a terf war/armed negotiation with puta madre? in order to obtain quick funds for what's coming up ahead? we never get any answers in the game afaik. so again it reads to me as pointlessly villifying the claires.

anyway yeah the fatphobia is really bad there but i again appreciate the perspective the tvtropes page has on this. evrart is deliberately playing into every stereotype of a sleazy corrupt boss in order to obfuscate his real motives. his patterns of speech used to drive me insane like chalk on a blackboard - it's such an improbable caricature - but seeing it as a self-aware performance helps a lot!!

anyway after seeing the faith liz has in evrart (not to mention the hardies) and the way she owes her education to him AND the way he gave rene a pointless job bc he wouldn't just accept a handout... socialism is real baby AND they're gonna build it *very soon*

[loxxxlay]

Can we get the rest of the ball destroying story?

This is a very long and probably anticlimactic story about how I destroyed an attorney's metaphorical balls by not letting him get away with being a toxic pile of shit. I hope you enjoy.

So, the first thing you need to know is that my old boss (whom I will call M) is a real fucking asshole. 1, he voted for trump; 2, he's a creep; 3, most obnoxiously, he treated his previous lead paralegal like a freaking wife.... or actually worse than a wife really... like an object. like a trophy wife. When the lead paralegal left, he basically treated her like she was divorcing him, as if she was an object of his possession. And he was like "you'll NEVER have it better than you have here, and i'll never let you come back." (Funny story: i am one of 5 paralegals there who put in their 2 week notice during June, and they were so panicked that they called this exact former lead paralegal and asked her to come back. -_-)

Okay so anyway, let's cut the story back to about 2 months ago. I have been M's lead paralegal for about 8 months now since the previous one left, and I'm hating it. I'm actively job hunting because M is becoming toxic to me the same way he was to the last paralegal. I needed references, so I asked another attorney who also worked there to be my reference. We will call him T. So T is my favorite attorney. T is the first person I came out to as having a girlfriend at the firm, and he never once betrayed me. He is everything that M is not. He gives positive feedback like he gives out candy, but he's also honest and real in a way that not a lot of ppl are.

So anyway I secretly ask him to be a reference on my resume, and T is like "sure! but well funnily enough, I'm actually leaving the firm in 2 weeks. I can't ethically recruit people while I'm here, so I'm going to end this conversation here, but.... wink wink, nudge nudge, call me in 2 weeks." So I'm like COOL COOL. And we don't speak of it again.

So 2 weeks pass, I continue job hunting, T leaves the firm. He calls me literally the next day, and he immediately is like "I wanna hire you" and I'm like "okay cool, I wanna be hired." So boom I got a new job. Ethically. (I'm serious though, T is a very ethical guy and he did nothing wrong.) So anyway, T is okay with me waiting until my NYU program in June is over, so my start date is July 1. 1 month from then. T also asks me very politely not to tell M where I'm going because it would sour their "friendship" (a.k.a. the attorney world in utah is a small world and he doesn't want M to get his feelings hurt). And I want to be clear, T did not pressure me at all - he asked for a favor, and I decided to do it for him, because I care about him, that's it. If at any point it became a burden for me, I would have changed my mind, and T would have understood.

So, I wait a week until I'm in New York to tell M i'm leaving him. I come up with a brilliant excuse for why I don't want to tell him where I'm going - "I have a few offers and I don't want to talk about it while I'm still deciding" (which wasn't even really a lie). So I call my boss and I tell him I'm putting in my two weeks. And he treats me like he always treats people - he interrogates me. Except this time, he's shocked and upset, so he SUPER interrogates me. It's super inappropriate questions like "why are you quitting???" and "is it because of money???" and "this is SUCH bad timing" - but it's frustrating because he's an attorney and he knows how to dress up these rude questions with politeness. In a way that if I call him out on it, I'll be the one who looks inappropriate. :( It sucked. But luckily I had spent 3 days researching how to approach this, and.... I gave him nothing. He was desperate for fuel to try to convince me to stay or guilt-trip me into working overtime, and I just didn't give him any because I was prepared, and also.... I'm good at this. My mom says I've been good at this since I was 3-years-old lol.

Anyway so unfortunately during the conversation, he asked the question "Where are you going?" and I immediately gave him my excuse. And I expected that to be done and over with. Idk why I thought it'd be that easy... He immediately started trying to guess where I was going. And at what point, he said "are you going to work for T????" and..... honestly guys... I panicked. I lied. I said, "uh, no." flat out lmao. Like, I was just so shocked that he was asking me in the first place. :( But weirdly, he believed me and that was that (or maybe he filed away the lie for later use as you'll see). I also want to make it clear here that I, at first, wasn't telling M where I was going because T had asked me to... but at this point, with how nosy and inappropriate M was asking, I didn't want to tell M anymore either. It wasn't for T that I was hiding it; it was for me. Like, no M, I don't want you to have any personal details. You're being 150% more of a creep than usual which is impressive considering.

Anyway so I never tell anyone where I'm going except 2 ppl whom I trust on my last day (and yes, one of them betrayed me, which kinda sucks D:). I told T that I had lied to M, and T was like "it's okay, if he finds out, I'll have ur back" and also... I told T I go by Echo instead of my legal name/dead name, so I'm fine with the lie because M will probably never find out anyway. and T was delighted and super supportive of my enby identity. ^_^ It's cute because he never called me by name, but now all of his texts and statements deliberately start out with my name as if to remind me that he supports it lol.

Anyway so flash forward to my new day at the job. It's going great. I love it there. And then I check my phone and I see this fucking text:

M: "I hear you work for T now. I wish you the best, but I specifically remember asking you if that's where you would be working, and you said no."

Like.... what the actual fuck? He never texts me, and also I've been gone from his firm for like a day.. max... have some chill, lmfao. like. At first, I was REALLY upset. Not in a "i feel bad for lying" kind of way. I couldn't care less about that. More in a "i feel like i'm being stalked, one of two close friends betrayed me, and also what the fuck, why are you texting me this??" #yikes. But then that night, I was talking to my dad about it. And I became super amused? Like. What is he going for here? What does he want me to say? What response does he hope that I'll give that will make him feel better? Does he want me to call him crying and begging for forgiveness and for my job back? Like? I genuinely sincerely want to know what the fuck he was expecting me to say. I want to understand what was going through his head lol.

And of course, because I am a passive aggressive bitch, I immediately catch on to the fact that he is Butthurt (shocking, I know). His feelings are hurt. An object of his, his very own lead paralegal, lied to him outright and he didn't see it coming! How dare she! He wants to make me feel hurt like he feels hurt, and he's a lawyer, he knows how to interrogate people and manipulate people and get them to suck his dick, idk. So he should be able to use those skills to make me feel bad for lying. He wants to one-up me. But see, what he didn't realize is that....

1, I don't feel guilty for lying to him... at all... like, it took me a couple hours to realize this, but the only negative emotion it made me feel was discomfort and fear. not guilt. the same way i feel when a strange man asks me for a hug, and i feel like refusing would look "rude." Like, there's nothing guilty about that. So yeah. His goal is to expose my guilt to make himself feel better, but... my guilt doesn't exist, so good luck

2, um, like I said earlier, I've been a passive aggressive bitch since the day I was born, unlike this bitch who had to go to college to learn how to do it, and not only that - I'm better at it than him. lmfao. His pride is gonna take a hit.

so I toy with the idea of ignoring him because I know that will really fuck him up and make him constantly think about it and check his texts to see if I've responded. But then T tells me that it's probably better to not burn a bridge because again.... super small world here.

So anyway lol, my response ends up being pretty simple but painstakingly constructed:

"Thank you! :) It wasn't an option at the time - it was a new development after you and I had already talked. I wish you the best as well."

The "Thank you! :)" to seem like I am utterly oblivious to the hidden accusation and passive aggressiveness. The middle sentence to be like "uh, are you really accusing me of lying right now?" and the last sentence, my favorite, to shut down the conversation forever. Now, if he responds, he already lost. Because there's no way to continue this conversation without exposing the fact that his "I wish you the best" was completely insincere. I've stripped away his ability to respond fake-politely (which is his modus operandi), and I've forced the last word on him.

Also, even better... (and no one has any way of proving this, least of all him, but) that statement (the "it wasn't an option at the time - it was a new development after you and i had already talked") is completely a lie on my part, and he knows it. T offered me the job the Monday after he left. There's no way he doesn't know that. So not only did I show obliviousness and not only did I shut the conversation down, I outright stonecold lied a second time. And there's no way for him to call me out on it. Like what could he even do? Send me a screenshot of my hire date? Send me a screenshot of an email I sent to a coworker? If he tries that, he's already lost again because like ... obviously super immature... it would be so easy to crush him with niceness like "Wow, I can tell this has really bothered you!" hahahhaha. Sadly he's smart enough not to do that, but it must be infuriating to know I'm lying and not be able to accuse me.

As an attorney whose literal job it is to catch & expose people lying, he literally watched me flat out lie to his face. Twice. And I didn't feel bad about it. And there was nothing he could do about it either time. He went to law school for this shit, and he still can't out-passive-aggressive me, the classic bitch.

Anyway so T apparently he showed his wife M's message, and she was like "oh my god what an asshole!!!" which I must admit was extremely validating!! And then he showed his wife my message, and she made a shocked face and said "wow she's good." And I always thought T was kinda just flattering me to be nice when he complimented my use of words in defusing angry clients and conveying info about a sensitive subject... but apparently his wife thinks so too, so I guess he's been more serious than I thought. I feel so.... complimented.... it's weird.... but I"m very happy and squeeing.

It's been like almost 24 hours and M has yet to respond to me, and if he does, he's already lost. I'll eviscerate him.

So like I know this story is probably disappointing and might not seem like I shanked his balls, but ... take my word for it because if u knew what a chaotic insecure pathetic mess he was and how he desperately claws for control by trying to intimidate and upset all of his employees (and pretty much always succeeds), then you'd understand that he's NEVER encountered something like this before. Someone literally just not giving a shit what he thinks about them. And from what I know of him, I promise you that this has certainly fucked him up for a good long while. And that makes me happy :')

[gnar-slabdash]

01.01: The Nigerian Job - Nate

Okay so the deal is I could NOT get my comments on this episode down to a single post so I’m going to make a post for each character. We’re gonna start with bae and you are forewarned that it is gonna be a lot of swooning. But before we get to the swooning, I have some QUESTIONS:

1. What was happening before the first scene?  a) Was he actually going to be on a plane? Where to? Where from? Why is he in a hotel? b) Why also is he pouring one alcohol into another alcohol, I mean I love it, but why? He’s at a bar he could just ask them to put two alcohols together, its literally their job. 

2. I wanna know what’s up with how impatient he is after the first job while the files are uploading, after being very cool and very invested so far. Conscience catching up? Exhausted and too long without a drink? I don’t know but I love how awful he looks all hunched over and anxious to get back to his bed and his bottle. Also I can just feel the early morning up too late sniffly  cold in this scene it’s so well shot.

3. Anybody know enough about guns to tell me if the safety was really on?

4. When they’re in the hospital, all of a sudden Nate is out of the cuffs and eliot isn’t? Did I MISS a shot or did he just DO that casually offscreen? Because that would be incredibly awesome. 

5. I know this is just for the dramatic irony later on, but it bothers me so much that supposedly “everybody knows” the deets about Sam and IYS . . . . . EXCEPT, as we later find out, M A G G I E????? HOW????? I understand the WHY, but not the HOW, if literally everyone else knows, from friends at work to every art thief in the world.

6. I know it makes sense logistically since he’s usually doing the behind the scenes stuff so he’s usually available when they need a quick getaway, but on a “let’s not die” level, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy do they always let Nate be the getaway driver holy crap we literally KNOW he drinks and drives. 

7. Is anyone else always bothered that in the last scene, in the middle of everything that is so perfect about it, he’s sitting in a chair that looks just slightly too big for him?

Okay, that’s all my Questions, now it’s time for Things That Are Amazing And Sexy:

- Nate being a jackass

- that dark button up over white undershirt -- who was it that pointed out how it imitates priest’s vestments? Whoever you are you’re a genius and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

- how fast he transitions from “punch you in the neck” to just a totally reasonable analysis of the situation once he gets interested.

- that their HQ tech in this episode is a fucking projecter and call center headset, in contrast to what they have once they find out just how goo Hardison is.

- the stubble, hi yes can I get more stubble forever.

- that amidst his vast array of knowledge Nate also has knowledge like “it’s the playoffs.” Idk, I don’t like sports at all but for some reason I like that there’s part of him that’s a normal enough dude to like sports. 

- oh no he does the steepled fingers thing thanks I didn’t need my underwear anyway.

- my favorite, the morning after shot: totally bare hotel room, three empty hotel liquor bottles, still dressed and on top of the covers, and that’s it, like, you can just see how completely exhausted he was and how nice it was to be able to come in and drink those and just pass out immediately. And then Dubinich has to go and ruin everything by yelling at the poor hungover sleepy boy. 

- the fact that Nate suggests GOING TO DUBINICH’S OFFICE, he must REALLY have not been awake yet, can you imagine Nate showing up at Dubenich’s nice clean office looking the way he looks in this scene to “straighten out” their CRIME DEAL it’s such a good picture.

- Obviously Eliot could have taken Hardison’s gun in some super smooth way but instead Nate just fucking yoinks it like “You have got to be kidding me, you’re gonna shoot your eye out.”

- there’s such great character hints in how they all hold the guns, Nate straight and matter of fact not trying to prove anything but knows what he’s doing, Hardison fancy and useless, Parker looks like she COULD use it but that’s not her main goal her main goal is to be cool and craaaazy

- and then Nate has like a fuckin velociraptor moment with his crazy daughter to get her to put the gun down lmao

- Swooshy cooooooat! - Nate opening the garage door, making sure they get out safe before him -- he feels responsible, he’s playing dad even as he tries to separate himself from them -- he owes them nothing really and he’s still taking charge and risking himself to save them. @ everyone who says nate doesn’t have actual caring emotions, that’s some bullshit.

- god his eyes are pretty

- his reactions in the hospital, first waking up to instant panic, then just moving straight to “well fuck it’s just one thing after another huh.” Look how awful he looks and he’s still immediately seeing what they don’t and pulling their strengths together, this is a much better example of what he’s capable of than the dumb lines in the beginning that were supposed to tell us he was smart.

- the beautiful ultimate irony that Dubinich’s fake story not only got the crew together but also gave them their whole modus operandus, they just take the lie he gave them of stealing things to help people and then they actually do it.

- I’m never, ever gonna get over the fuckin “balls tied to the stock market” line

- Nate smashing the car windows. So hot. Also MAN that must be therapeutic, lmao he looks so satisfied at the end

[dragonofdarknesschaos]

Chase Young Can’t Read

Okay, but do we ever actually SEE Chase reading?  He’s never shown writing.

I know he’s sown looking at Evil Housekeeping in “Judging Omi,” but there is no proof that he was actually reading the magazine.  Magazines have pictures too, and who’s to say that Chase doesn’t just subscribe for the pretty pictures?  Have you SEEN the man’s lair?!

Further proof of Chase’s illiteracy is in how Chase’s underlings convey messages to him.  One of Chase’s fallen warriors is a Gaelic werewolf that can transform into a crow and play back or show what it has seen and heard from its’ eyes.  In “Hannibal’s Revenge,” “Omitown,” “Oil in the Family,” and others the crow is shown whispering to Chase or sharing a look.  Another scene shows the crow flying back to Chase’s lair, transforming to a warrior, and presumably telling Chase the information it gathered in person off screen, before walking out of the throne room on screen.

It’s one thing to be a spy and not leave a paper trail, but it’s another thing entirely to be a spy and leave your post to convey information  Most spys only leave their posts if their cover is blown, the information they have gathered is too sensitive to document on paper, their assignment has been completed, or a mix of all three.  The fact that the crow repeatedly goes back to Chase to report directly for all messages, no matter how trivial is a bit suspect.  About 99% of the time the Monks do not even notice that the crow is watching them.  Why fly off to report to Chase that they’re on the move?  “Phoning in” and reporting remotely would make more sense to continue the mission of watching the Monks.  The fact that time and again the crow is shown watching the Monks means that this is a recurring, if not ongoing, mission of some importance.

What the Food Tells Us

“But what about the recipe for Lao Mang Long soup?”  You ask.  Yes, the recipe is written down in a book about Chase, but that doesn’t mean Chase ever wrote or read the book (though he is vain enough he at least knows it exists).  Canon doesn’t go into it deeply enough to form a concrete decision, but Hannibal made the Soup, Chase turned evil and imprisoned Hannibal.  Now Chase makes the soup for himself.  Chase is never shown reading a recipe--why would he?  He’s been making this elixir for the last 1500 years (or more), by now the recipe is routine; Chase has no need to refer back to any written document of the elixir.  Or maybe, he could never read a recipe in the first place?

It is unclear if the Lao Mang Long soup ever spoils as evidenced by “Time After Time, part 2″ wherein Omi hides the soup, and then digs it up over 1500 years later, still steaming.  But most who work with any kind of food, or food prep, or both, know that dating food and packages is mandatory to know how fresh the products are.  Chase is often shown using CANNED soup.  If he’s caning the soup himself, why are there no dates?  Surely one as methodical as he would want to use the oldest batches first.  Without written dates he must have an elaborate system of organization (otherwise it’s like having no soup at all--and Chase says he’s very attached to the soup, as it’s what keeps him forever youthful and pretty [”Master Monk Guan”]).

Chase is making the soup for himself too, so there’s not even a need to list the ingredients on the package.  However, there is no written label--there is only a picture of a dragon on the can.  While this was done to cinematically highlight the fact that each can contains at least one whole dragon (don’t forget this is a TV show for 6-12 year olds), it then questions why Chase would label his elixir in such a way.  Why label your food with a picture of one ingredient instead of writing what the can contains?  It would be like labeling lasagna with a picture of just noodles, or a chocolate cake with just a doodle of chocolate chips.  Why label food in this way, unless you don’t know how to read or write?

The League of Overcompensating Villains... with Giant Citadels!

Furthermore, much of Chase’s lair has boobie traps and combinations to turn off or activate security systems.  There are no number pads, or combination locks, or physical keys of any sort.  There are only “super old school” “classic” secret levers, buttons, walls, and compartments for Chase to utilize, like in the regular Showdown of “Master Monk Guan,” how Jack opens the front door to Chase’s lair by pushing a hidden button in “Evil Within,” and the various boobie traps the Monks encounter in “Finding Omi” as well as a hidden Wu safe room.  Since Chase is unable to read, an alphanumeric combination or security key is meaningless to him.  Physical key holes are too easy to pick and bypass.  What better way to cover up your lack of literacy than to use really cool, distracting tricks and illusions?  One would have to be really smart to remember all the tricks and hidden items and how to avoid them, right?  Or at least that’s the stereotype.  This elaborate, over the top method of covering up an apparent “lack” is Chase’s modus operandi and he does it constantly throughout the series.

What does it all mean?

Chase not knowing how to read or write would cast him as a poor person in ancient China, as around 500 AD only the sons of Nobles were educated and learned to read and write.  This goes in stark contrast to many who headcanon Chase as the [bastard] son of a nobleman.  Coming from a poor, likely farming, family would make the life of a Monk seem like a step up.  It could also be indicative that Chase is an orphan.  Why strive so hard to achieve and prove your greatness unless you came from nothing?

While the desire to “prove oneself” is universal, it’s usually explored by characters who either have great power and prestige and want to prove themselves worthy of wielding their own power (Marvel’s Thor) or characters who have nothing and want everything because they believe they deserve it in some way (Marvel’s Loki).  The only thing Chase knows for certain about his destiny on either the Xiaolin side or the Heylin side is that he will become a great warrior.  Joining the Xiaolin Order would have been the first step towards receiving military or battle training through the art of Kung Fu.  What he does with that training is up to him.

Can XC Chase Read?

XC Chase is potentially in the same boat as XS Chase.  The biggest difference is that in XC, Chase is shown looking at and reacting to a text only status post on Facelook from Jack (”Who Shrunk Master Fung?”).  While text-to-speech is a thing, it’s unlikely that Chase fully understands how to operate the tech.  Chase dislikes Jack enough that, despite Jack installing the Wifi Chase used to access Facelook, as well as the giant monitor Chase was viewing the status update on, and never adding Jack as a friend, I doubt Chase would have tried to figure out the text-to-speech on his own.  Even if Shadow helped him, she is out of the lair at the time of him reading the status, and also temporarily transformed into a bird with Chase’s magic.

There is another scene in “Princess Kaila and the Thousand Layer Mountain” where Chase says that great tales will be written and told about his coming victory against the Xiaolin Order, and perhaps he or the cats can read it.  But can the fallen warrior cats even read?  Questions for future victorious Chase to answer.  Chase is also shown crumpling up a resume Jack hands him in “The Laws of Nature.”  If Chase is illiterate it’s just crumpling up a bit of useless trash.  However, it also asserts how little Chase cares about Jack’s credentials and achievements.

To summarize, Chase likely cannot read in the XS canon.  He goes out of his way to cover up this flaw by having intellectual puzzles as security precautions, has all his underlings report verbally, visually, or both, usually in person, and does not label any of his canned foods with words or numbers, instead only using pictures.  His illiteracy is indicative of a life lead by a poor farm boy or orphan who joined the Xiaolin Order as a stepping stone to achieve his destiny of becoming a great warrior.  XC Chase is possibly illiterate too, but there isn’t enough evidence either way to confirm or deny this possibility.

TL;DR:

XS Chase can’t read.

XS Chase goes out of his way to cover up this little fact by having intricate boobie traps throughout his lair.

All of Chase’s underlings report to him in person.

Chase doesn’t label any of his canned food with letters or numbers; only pictures.

Only noblemen were able to read and write in 500 AD China, so Chase was likely a farm boy or orphan.

He then joined the Xiaolin Temple as a stepping stone to achieve his destiny of becoming a great warrior.

XC Chase is likely illiterate too, but there are too many inconsistencies to confirm.

Random Headcanons under the cut:

I’m not saying Chase was kicked out of the Xiaolin Order because he couldn’t read, but what if that was literally the only reason?

Please consider dyslexic Chase.

Remember all those various scenes where Jack asks for Chase’s autograph and Chase just glares at Jack, as if the boy genius knows that he, Chase Young, is illiterate and is taunting him for it.

Chase never responding to emails because he literally cannot.

For that matter, why and how does Chase have an email?!  Who was Jack messaging?????????

Someone writing a really witty and heartfelt love note to Chase, but he can’t read it.

Chase turning Wuya solidly just to read his mail because she can read for some reason???  IDK?????????

Wuya is shown reading a magazine called “Woman”--likely a parody of Womens Day--but finds it too drab and changes it to “Wuya” (“The Citadel of Doom”).

Even if Wuya is in the same boat as Chase and just “reads” magazines for the pictures, she still formed an opinion about the magazine being “drab” and changed the entire thing.  Most people would just get a different magazine.

I guess Wuya took that mag from “drab” to “FAB?”  Amirite?  XDDD

Okay, but please imagine Jack teaching Chase how to read and write.

Also, Omi trying to teach Chase how to read and write, but he’s really bad at it, and Raimundo steps in to help because he’s got the highest reading comprehension.

The Monks are all shown reading and writing at various points throughout the series, but all are shown writing out their ideas for quests in “Hannibal’s Revenge.”

I believe Dojo said this in XS, but “penmanship wasn’t always a strong suit of the old masters.”  Big oof.  However, this means that the Temple will teach literacy, so then why didn’t Chase pick it up?  (more fuel for dyslexic Chase)

[underimagines]

Ut, us, uf, and fellswap (the red and gold one) papys trying to court their crush? (In monster way, like making pillow nests that mean I'm able to protect you and leaving flower's in their crushs house showing I'm romantic or somthin idk) And their reaction when their crush accepts by making a pillow nest for them?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yeesssssss.

Ok, quick little explanation; Claiming habits/Scenting. In any verse, scent is used to find out a lot of things for monsters; who you are, how you feel, where you've been, and most importantly who you associate with. If you are covered in another monsters scent, either you are very frequently in close contact with them, or you are being courted. It will usually deter others from also attempting to court you. Wearing something of another monster's (clothes, jewelry, etc.) is also a courting statement, though with a much more violent sentiment of 'touch and you die' in Fell!verses. - Mod Sync

Undertale Papyrus

If you want the cutest, sappiest romance ever, this is your skele. He has a Dating Manuel, so he's gonna do all the sappy cliché things. Bring you flowers, buy you gifts, take you on lots of fun dates. Being able to make your intended happy is a big deal for UT Mons, so he tries everything to make you smile.

Papyrus also shows off quite a bit. An instinctual thing, really, to prove himself a superior choice for a mate. Showing off his puzzles showcases his intelligence, magic demonstrations shows his strength and ability to protect you, his constant energy proves his health, and his work ethic and cooking for you proves he can provide for you. He's also a great Nest builder, despite his aversion to stopping and resting. He doesn't like scenting, but he doesn't mind if you wear his scarf every now and again.

Paps would be over the moon if you returned the sentiment in a Monster way. Building a puzzle in return for him is the quickest way to his heart, but he'll take a Nest as well.

Underfell Papyrus

Fell boy here is more of an Elegant Romantic in comparison to UT!Pap. His dates are more 'Candle lit dinner at a fancy restaurant' than 'Coffee and lunch at a Cafe.' He can't show affection like the softer universes, so a lot of the Romance is happening in the confines of his home, where he knows he's safe. Still, he knows making you happy is something he needs to do, even if it takes him a while to figure out how. He'll bring you small gifts, a lot of them practical, but every so often bring a single flower or a small accessory. Outside his home he will either have you wear something of his, or cover you in his scent somehow. Always.

Like UT!Pap, he shows off a bit. Most of it is proving his strength and intelligence, and how much he can keep you safe and provide for you. His is more purposeful than the others though, as he know these instincts are there and will abide by them when he knows he can. Though please be aware that he might get into more fights than usual.

Building a Nest would surprise him. He's glad you've accepted, and in a monster fashion, but he always expected someone to prove their strength to him for him to fall for them. Nests carry more of the sentiment of safety, comfort, and belonging; a sense of Home. Papyrus would be touched that you felt that way, whether it was feeling those things about him, or trying to give him those things in return. He's not the best Nest builder, but he'd try for you. So long as it's you, it's one of the few times you'll ever see him truly relax.

Underswap Papyrus

Like with UT!Pap, Swap!Pap's main goal is making you happy. Unlike UT!Pap, Swap!Pap's modus operandi is how much he can make you laugh, and how much he can comfort you and help you wind down from stress. He's lazy, but that doesn't mean he doesn't try. He's not a big gift giver or one for extravagant outings. He's shows it in subtle things. How his attention never wavers from you when you're talking, the way he holds you when you cuddle, the little teases he does only at you. His love is sweet and slow, like the honey he so loves.

Showing off is a no-go, unless it's his intelligence, and that's only if you get him going on something he's passionate about (i.e. Science, technology, space, puns). Otherwise, he'll mostly end up sticking with claiming habits.

Nests are the way to his heart, though at first he might not recognize what you're doing, seeing as cuddle sessions are frequent with Pap. His Nests are a bit sloppy, but they still radiate the same comfort other nests do. Getting one in return will turn him into a love-struck puddle.

Swapfell Papyrus

Now, SF!Pap's romance towards you might start with how well you take care of him. Poor guy's a straight up Mess™ most of the time, he needs some help taking care of himself and de-stressing.

Still, when he courts, it's not too dissimilar from Swap!Pap. He likes making you laugh, and relaxing together. Like Fell, he tries to keep shows of affection inside the safety of his home, but he's more able to do these affection than Fell. He likes being able to touch you in some way. It grounds him, making sure you're real and there. He shows his love by doing little things for you. A chore you forgot of hadn't done yet, buying you your favorite treat on a bad day, or listening to you rant about something.

Also, you are not to ever leave the house without something of his, no, he's being completely serious. Paps is better at protecting you by keeping out of trouble rather than starting it. If he isn't there with you, you had better be wearing something of his, or he's gonna be a panicked anxiety ridden mess. Please don't cause him more stress than necessary, he might explode.

Building a Nest for him would probably make him cry. SF!Pap is the best Nest builder of the Paps, only because he builds them for himself when he's having a really bad day, which is relatively often (it's the only time Sans won't say anything about his laziness.) You building one for him, in his mind, is the ultimate show of affection because it's both a symbol of love and comfort from you, and a sign that you're trying to accept all the weird things monsters do. It lifts a lot of worries off him and fills his soul with so much emotion that it feels like it might burst.

[nostalgic-blood]

THAT MOVIE THO.

spoilers under the cut of course

Yeah yeah yeah pacing issues, too much cool stuff crammed into a movie with too little time to spare for many characters including AJ and Flutts who unfortunately made no friends and thus, had they not been in the movie nothing would really have affected the plot. They were there for MORAL support okay. Also my favourite gag wouldn��t have worked without Fluttershy. I wish I could watch it again to refresh my memory, but basically they were stowaways on an airship full of pirates, and the pirates find them and threaten them, like eating them or scarring them or SCARRING THEM EMOTIONALLY, and each threat is tailored to a specific pony, and the emotional one focused on Fluttershy. That was great. I loved that gag.

Also the plot was like, simple. EXTREMELY SIMPLE. bad guys show up. Run away from bad guys. search for macguffin that can defeat the bad guys. Bad guys capture good guys anyway. FRIENDSHIP IS POWER THAT CAN DEFEAT--well no, not in the giant rainbow beam smashes into bad guy kind of defeat. The bad guy actually died, and there was a lot of fighting in the climax. Huh.

Well anyway the world building was very good which I normally would never even comment on because when it comes to MLP I usually don’t give two shits about the lore. For instance in season seven they’re introducing a whole bunch of mythical legends that while might be interesting on their own, are presented in a such a way that the episode tends to be a complete bore. What do I learn about Rarity or AJ in an episode where all they do is tell campfire stories? There is no focus on a conflict or any moral lesson (except the small ones in the stories themselves) and little interaction between the main characters. I was so bored by that episode. The Daring Do episode fared even worse and somehow they shoehorned it as Pinkie’s legend (??!!?) despite Pinkie having not read any Daring Do books and having little reason to be on this adventure. (This doesn’t even begin to describe how much Daring Do being real is one of the weakest aspects of the show itself, but I digress)

The only episode that was an interesting way to depict a legend was the Fluttershy episode because figuring out who this historical healer was, was important to curing and preventing the spread of a horrible deadly illness, so that one had great and suspenseful setup with a lot of development for Fluttershy. And frankly I think in terms of legends themselves Fluttershy’s was the least interesting, but because it was framed by a really good episode about Flutters it was the best one.

Oh right I was supposed to talk about the movie.

But yeah, one thing I REALLY like and thought was a possibility in the MLP universe were sky pirates or at least sky sailors or whatever, and HERE THEY ARE, EXISTING! And BEING PIRATES! AIRSHIPS ARE A THING! They even had one in the newest MLP episode. I knew they existed for a long while (one appeared in a small moment during Rarity’s song in Sweet and Elite back in season two) but they were never really utilized until this movie. I don’t know how i feel about tons of all anthro-looking creatures though. I always assumed the world of MLP was all these quadrupedal creatures and if they did stand on two legs it was because they were hybrids with human-like pieces such as minotaurs. Or dragons, but let’s not talk about them.

But here it’s this anthro-cat, and some anthro-fishmen, and then anthro birds, and the big bad is okay because he looks like a primate of some sort, so it makes sense, but the rest of em... ehhhh. I guess since they went OUTSIDE Equestria it makes sense there are a much larger variety of creatures/races, and maybe Equestria is the just the one with the most four-legged equines, but...

Also I think we almost had enough screentime with these new characters to like them. Almost. I was starting to like them, but it wasn’t to the point that if these characters suddenly decided to help the mane six that it’d be 100% believable. Since there wasn’t much time devoted to each of them, the fact that catman decided to side with them just because Rarity in those few precious seconds fixed the hem of his shirt was a little less realistic or believable as it could have been. I get what they were trying to do, but if more time was devoted to it, it would have had much more impact. The pirates especially I thought maybe they would blame the Mane Six for leading to the destruction of their ship, but they were actually really reasonable for pirates that when we first saw them were about to eat them. They realized straight away that the real reason their ship exploded was because their boss sucked.

I could totally believe the Princess Seapony!Hippogriff thing siding with them though. She was just lonely and wanted friends. There were no ethical issues to get in the way at all like murderous pirates or conmen. The fact that the queen did not join them made sense though, since Twilight royally fucked up.

Speaking of Twilight I see a lot of people complaining she was not very Twilight in this movie, doing things that opposed the message of friendship. It made sense to me that she fell back to her more logical, rational way of life though. As they were journeying to find the Queen of the Hippogriffs, normal singing happy friendship methods to solve problems wasn’t really working. They befriended this cat man but he actually just wanted to sell them and was using them. Then they changed the ways of the pirates, but in doing so led the enemy straight towards them. I can see how Twilight thought this wasn’t like Equestria, the land of the colourful happy pastel ponies and their usual modus operandi wasn’t gonna work here. She was desperate! But due to the amount of time they had they could not spend a lot of time emphasizing this, so it may have come off to some people that Twilight was acting a lot more malicious than she is.

Another thing is this movie is clearly not for some random person to walk into a theatre, sit down, and just start watching like they’d understand the movie if it were just a standalone thing. There isn’t much time used up at all to introduce our characters and to make a blind audience care about them. It only really works if you’re already attached to the characters and know who they are, so it really wasn’t a good movie to attract casual moviegoers or anything like that. 

I think another comment complaint is how helpless the ponies are especially when they are outside Equestria. This I thought was odd because we have Twilight who still had her magic which could basically solve anything and do anything if the plot demands in the show. Or Rainbow Dash who is supposedly faster than mach 3 or whatever, but neither of these two used their overpowered abilities effectively throughout the movie, almost like the movie forgot that Twilight could teleport or Rainbow Dash could escape.

But anyway all of that is moot. Why is all the above moot? Because we had a movie with a clear beginning, middle, and end. There were decent songs and a pretty good score. It’d otherwise just be a normal run of the mill 6-7/10.

BUT THAT IS MOOT BECAUSE PINKIE PIE WAS AMAZING IN THIS MOVIE. AND I WATCH MLP FOR PINKIE PIE. SHE IS THE NUMBER ONE REASON I AM INVESTED IN THIS FANDOM AT ALL. AND SHE HAD THE MOST FOCUS OF THE MANE SIX AFTER TWILIGHT.

The biggest issue I always had with adventure episodes which were usually the season premieres and finales of the show was that it was always heavily Twilight focused with the other five on the wayside. I did not want to watch a movie where Twilight solves the problem herself and her friends are hostages, or out of commission, nor not themselves, or otherwise not doing anything that affected the plot. They were just along for the ride. Yes unfortunately this ended up being the case for two of the Mane Six, but that’s just another side-effect of them not making this movie longer or utilizing what time they had effectively. (We could have had less new supporting characters or something, idk)

But luckily for my biased-self it was Pinkie they chose to focus on. When they don’t focus on Pinkie and she isn’t important she’s usually just the mindless comedic relief, which was always a depiction I hated of Pinkie. Equestria Girls Pinkie is exactly this, and that’s why she’s my least favourite in the EG Universe. This is fine if Pinkie’s comedy was actually good, but usually they aim for lolrandom humour when that happens. Pinkie’s comedic moments in the movie were much more often hit than miss. I didn’t really dislike any scene with Pinkie at all! At no point did she seem overly obnoxious. Maybe the time when she was trying to play I Spy, but the rest of the Mane Six were audibly exasperated with her so they were self-aware how obnoxious she can be at times, lol.

Also yes, she did ruin some moments too like a few others. And by ruin I mean, the Mane Six are trying to do something and have a perfectly good plan to do so, but one of the characters do the thing they’d always do and it’d ruin the plan. For Pinkie that was just yelling out loud in the marketplace trying to find help, this led them to being conned by the cat man and almost being captured. Then Rainbow ruined everything when she went overboard trying to turn the pirates by showing off her Sonic Rainboom, which is a very loud and flashy technique catching the bad guys’ attention and ruining their plans. Finally Twilight ruined everything when she straight up tried to steal the pearl. So at least it wasn’t ONLY Pinkie... and all of them to me seemed perfectly in-character or made sense for that specific context anyway.

A good example of an adventure episode where Pinkie isn’t very important but has great comedic moments is the season five premiere. She’s the first to notice the odd smiles and has great expressions and reaction faces to the weird town they’re in, and when the Mane Six are being brainwashed she has some great dry humour as well. Still funny when not even trying to be funny! A good example of an episode where Pinkie is not effective whatsoever at being comedic relief is the season three premiere. Pinkie’s just being really loud and screechy. Even if I did like the flugelhorn bit where she yells “FLUGELHORN” into a flugelhorn while trying to play the flugelhorn.

I think the reason why this movie gave such focus to Pinkie over the other five instead of someone else is that Pinkie is the most popular character among the target audience. All the little girls adore her. She’s definitely not the most popular among the brony community, but I’m glad the little girls have great taste! Also Twilight messes up and SHE gets captured, not all her friends at once! It is her friends who she alienated and ostracized that came to the rescue instead. I like this because even though Twilight is the Princess of Friendship now, it doesn’t mean she’s some flawless individual who is the end-all and be-all to friendship. She is the princess because she has many great friends, and they all complete her. It doesn’t make sense for a princess of friendship to not be doing things with her friends. That’s like Luna with no moon, or Cadance without a husband.

Also while Tempest whatever has a much better backstory than Starlight, I still find it a little annoying that MLP has a habit of infodumping a villain’s (that is meant to be redeemed) backstory blatantly in our face, and now we have to feel sorry for them and completely understand their motivations. I thought her villain song started out strong but fell apart when it just jumped into her backstory like that. Again, if the movie had more runtime we could have explored her backstory and motivations in either much more subtle ways, or with more depth, or not all at once. Still despite her edginess she was one of the more fleshed out new characters, so I’ll give her that. 

The movie actually reminds of two fanfics I’ve read that have sky pirates and a world outside Equestria. In one, the villain is trying to find and kidnap the protagonist for their dastardly deeds, just like in the movie trying to kidnap Twilight for power, and the cast runs across faraway lands to escape. The other just has a bunch of sky pirates. I love those sky pirates. I made a sky pirate AU for ponies once that if I weren’t so invested in my RWBY AU powered by 1000% salt I might actually attempt to write. SKY PIRATES!!1!11!!!

It’s like the movie was pandered directly to me. Good Pinkie content and sky pirates. Yay! So, with all that bias included I’d give the movie a solid 8.5/10. But that’s just me personally. If Pinkie ISN’T your favourite character or you enjoy more complicated plots with more unpredictability you might rate it a more objective 6 or 7 out of 10.

8.5 tho. Just for Pinkie. PINKIEEEEE!!

[weasterned]

zongien.

1. Jo Oppanim ! He’s calm, but also funny ! And friendly, probably best friend material for everyone ! But sometimes I also get scared of him as well;;;; 2. Uh I don’t know this either— maybe because EXO has ended its promotion that’s why he didn’t update ? Or maybe I didn’t see him updating— 3. Jo Oppanim ! Christmas is near, 2018 is also neaar ! I hope you will be having a good year on 2018, and also for EXO itself ! Have a blessed year !

1. menel, menel, menel, kocak, bulliable 2. kamu straight apa yaoi? 3. jangan membuat hati para cewe dan cowo jadi galau

1. Bdh, Bdbh, Funny af. 2. Kak Jongin, apakah aku harus memberi tahu apa yang kurang dan lebih darimu? Kurang darimu adalah tukang neglect mention, sama seperti diriku. Lebihnya adalah moodbooster. Udh ya? Gausah minta lebih, gebet aja dulu Jung Soojung, baru minta lebih lebih. Emaap, aku begitu suka KaiStal jadi lupa bengad kalo kalian sudah jadi mangtan. 3. Since 2018 coming soon, I wish you to have a bless and great year ahead. Eventhough I’m bosen to see you, its not mean I hate you. Of course I love you, hyung. Semoga makin item.

1) Pervert 4x and weird 2) We’ve talked to each other before a lot and I think we should keep this up 😉 3) Happy holidays and happy new year to you, Jo. Please don’t explode yourself with a mercon and stay safe. Have a splendid 2018! 4) Plus : A lumayan game partner. Minus : Guess how many times I’ve typed ‘we rarely talk’ in this form. I’m getting tired 😥 so pls talk with me I’m desperate for having a friend…

#1 - Pervert - Like to tease others - Funny - Loves kinky topic - Cool #2 Talk more to other people you kinky head. Don’t ignore other’s mention. All you doing is only porn related. #3 Hi. It’s really nice to know you, but I was so surprised to know you’re such a pervert person. Anyway, I hope we can talk more. That’s all. Bye.

-1. Kind, warm, sometimes weird, boycrush, cool. 2. Talk with me more often! 3. Hello! I really want to get closer to you but yeah me is such a potato so please greet me HAHAHA. You’re so attractive, by the way. Enjoy your xmas and new year.

1. pervert, bobrokie, bodohie, but also nice and cool 2. tolonk y obba retweetannya dikondisikan, jangan membuat q triggeredddtttdttt :-) 3. Dear jongin obba, youre nice and friendly, i love it how you always jbjb me even tho its ngeselin kadang-kadang, but i always appreciate those who wants to get closer to me by talking to me even if its totally nonsense and random. i adore obba actually, you want to be cold and savage but ended up being dumb instead, its amusing to see :(

1. Modus people! Flirty namja! But he is kind and funny. And absurd sometimes. 2. Stop being soooo modus to people! 3. Keep doing your best oppa! I wish for your happiness and don’t forget to give me food. Actually I don’t know what I should write here.

1. Weird, weird, weird, friendly, good 2. Nope, he is weird apa adanya. 3. Hei weirdo! You’re kinda weird but good. A good-weird person. I dont know what to say but stay weird lah. If you’re not weird, it’s not you then. 😬

malika, pervert, cold outside fragile inside, pervert, pervert, the man who can’t be moved. hope u find another one lol but i think u have it already? lmao

Aish this people.. kurang2in gilanya ya jo wksk

1. awkward, kind, have a good vibe as jongin as well 2. - 3. i know you are a good person, but i guess  we haven’t talk muck each other, let’s make another convo and get along well as always in the future!

1. cool, handsome, kinda cold but very bobrok 2. don’t like or retweet porn at the day, you can do it at night or midnight, too much underage around us. and it would be great if you can share them with me /NO 3. hello jo sunbaenim!! it’s kinda weird to call you sunbae but you are really my sunbaenim so it’s okay lmao. actually you’re the first jongin’s rper that i have so it’s nice to meet you. and i really think you’re such a cold rper, but my though is broken itself as i saw you more. i want to be close with you. Please always be who you are right now. I hope you will have a nice day and keep healthy till 2017 comes to an end!A pervert, a pervert, and a pervert. But you are one of my best buddy here. Thanks for making me laugh with all your stupid jokes. Maybe those arent jokes, you are just stupid. PLEASE LESSEN YOUR THIRST, there are still some innocent souls :-)

1. dangerous, creepy, kind and cool 2. hyung please stay away from Jo hyung and the innocent hoobae of mine, a.k.a songso lol eh wait- jo hyung is gone tho. i bet he do damn plastic surgery and become oldie named christian? i’m sad. please take a good care of me then hyung! 3. just call that number 2 as a short message for him lololol happy christmas!

1. Crazy, smut instead of smooth, funny, kind, scary. 2. Stop being so extra would you? Hahaha. 3. Hello, Jo! Please enjoy the rest of 2017 happily.

1. friendly, crazy, playboy, love everyone 2. hope we love each other more 3. Marry christmas and happy new year, and lets get more closer next year so we can have fun year together.

1. Cool, weird, playful, fun, a bit zonk 2. Zonk-ien. Hahaha i hope youre less zonk because somehow i think youre a bit zonk lmao 3. Dear zonkien, lets talk more in the future so maybe i could figured out more zonkness from you or other things from you hahaha

He is nice, fun, easygoing and TALK A LOT I swear I saw him everywhere. Jk. But that’s good tho, I wish I could mingle well with others like he does. Keep that up, bro! To Kai, Happy early new year, Zongkai! Kurang-kurangin like tweets yang ahem ahemnya ya.

1. Fun? Idk. 2. I have some convos with him already hadeh hyong please sometimes likes rated vid and it appear on my timeline pls lees it :“) 3. hello, Jo hyong since 2017 almost over which mean new year will bring a new hope also. Please stay healthy because the weather is not so good lately, keep warm. Xx Loves♡

1. Jo 2. Let’s talk more with me ㅎㅎㅎ 3. Happy New Year , Jo!

1. flirty, cool, fun!, I kind of scared with him sometimes, chatty 2. Nothing but I kind of scared with him at times. :( 3. I’d hope for your happiness in the end of this year, may the force will ever be yours later in 2018 and may 2018 bring you good stuffs!1. Mr. Pabo Jo who stole my nickname as bear here, ugh! Jo is so kind, nice, SOOOOOO APPROACHABLE (i was shocked cz usually Kai’s rp is hard to approach but you is the other way around lol which is good!), He is not awkward at all and has a really good and warm personality. 2. PLEASE REDUCE YOUR TYPO AND BOBROKNESS. AND PLEASE DRINK AQUA A LIL BIT MORE EACH DAYS YA. 3. 2017 is coming to an end, i just wish EXO especially you will always be happy and more successfull. Maybe there is a surprise in 2017 that you finally have a opportunity as a good kdrama cast hahah

1. -pervert - pervert - byuntae - byuntae - kind 2. insyaflah wahai manusia, jika dirimu bernoda~ hehehhe kidding! i’m happy to have you here in WST as my korban bully. let me bully you more in the future dude. mwah ♡

1. [💌]  just wanna say, thank you for staying in WST. i’m happy that i have such a kind and caring members here. it might be pretty hard when you feel left out in agency, but i didn’t feel like this here. thank you ♡ thank you for being kind to me, let’s make another memorable memories in the future!

1) kind, friendly, funny, likes to flirt and joking around 2) more update about his chara? 3) let’s talk more in the future and get along well! + i hope 2018 will be much much better year for you! ✨

Funny,  ffriendly, look always on group dm, cool, look zonk too. Idk… Let’s talk more int the future bruhJo oppa ini beda banget dr perkiraan. Liat accnya sih kyknya kalem tp tryt enggak. Apalagi kl ketemu seongso, ian oppa sama chanyeol. Haduu. Messagenya: Apapun yang terjadi selama setahun ini, semoga bs jadi pembelajaran utk ke depannya. Aku berharap akhir tahun ini bisa dinikmati (?) dengan rasa bahagia hehehe. Dan semoga keinginannya cpt tercapai ya. Amin

Oppaaaa —! Moodbooster of the day/? Entah karena me yang receh atau oppa nya yang bobroqeu , , , i can laugh only at his plesetan/? He is pervert 🙈 okaaaaay— if you know who am i , don’t labrak saya oyaaaaay !

1. JO. CRAZY AF. STOOPID HOOMAN BEING. IDK AH. LOUD AF. 2. I’M KINDA AWARE WHEN YOUR'E STILL ON TIMELINE AROUND 10-12pm. MY TIMELINE BEING SO NOT SAFE. YOU’RE SO PERVERT. HOW COULD IT BE? I’m looking forward to our interactions much in the future. Keep up the good work! 3. Happy new year! Santa claus is coming to town~ *chuckles* You should take a good care of yourself, keep smiling widely, and be happy as always.

1. Funny, Receh, lawak, lawak, lawak lol ; 2. Please reply to my greeting ; 3. You’re such a funny person. I want to get closer with you as a same-age friend

1. quiet, unpredictable, sometimes weird (very very weird), sometimes awkward and definitely a cold saram in weast :|. 2. - Don’t too often delete your tweet bcs it’s not good - Don’t do something stupid - Talk with me (i mean more than before) - I know you like me but we have no chemistry (HAAHAHAA). 3. Hey bro. Don’t get me wrong when I said "You like me”. I mean I think you like me as weast member but we have no chemistry till we never had proper conversation. well, I know you are a good person and very fun. but tbh I dont know how to get close with crazy saram like you. I hope you always stay healthy and be better person. good luck!

1. Kinda cold, hard to approach, funny, bigos aka biang gosip, talk nonsense 24/7 2. You can make a warta wst acc or maybe lamtur wst 3. -

1. Low sense of humor, ngeselin, nyebelin, lemot, suka telat bales 2. fast rep juseyo. 3. I don’t even remember the last time we talk. And I also wonder why you thought I’m someone else- but, looking forward to talk more with you.

1. Mesum 2. Seram 3. Perverted 4. Also kind 5. And full of attention Jongin hyung, hello. I wish you’d appear more like a setan timeline because one thing, I enjoy talking to you. It’s the New Year’s soon and we’re gonna pass the 2018 together I hope. With this sentence I hope we can be more closer in the future! Lessen up the kemesuman, it gets scarier by time.