#but im just so fucking weak and tired
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Forty percent of Tumblr users are between the ages of 18 to 25.
Text
if my immunity system decided not to work then why should i
#i am so MAD#i am sick AGAIN like it's the 5th time since JUNE!!!! its not fever and antibiotics this time but i feel like shit#and i can't breathe and just want to sleep and i am constantly COLD#but like i have to live through it#because the worst part is it happens on my off days#when i have days off my body decides to get sick so i can't enjoy the free time and it's making me SO MAD#its gotten to the point it's almost unbelievable#personal#sorry but#i am so angry#because normally I'd enjoy two days with my family but TALKING HURTS and my nose is leaking and i can't breathe#and i have a 6 hour train journey ahed of me tomorrow and then a concert#and normally I'd be thrilled!!! like yay exciting day#but im just so fucking weak and tired#god let me live a little
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb
#bonus when they do both by making him just utterly psychotic but he smiles so no one notices#i am a shameful idw bee enjoyer but like in the tired af ppl pleasing libra girl who needs a therapist so fking bad but#has 700000 billion duties and 900000000 billion expectations and mean bitches in his ear telling him hes stupid#sense#and not the he feels like an officer sense like no my queen is just a teachers pet doing her best which is her worst im afraid#anyways i love bee hes very indignant and a bitch but also im gonna stand beside her sorry#u do not understand how powerful it was to give him a cane . a literal crutch to hold onto to feel stronger even when ratchet says he doesnt#have to anymore but yet bee still insists bcs he doesnt have time for the repairs itll take when others cannot survive#and 2 it comforts him with support and also power and so he cradles it close with the idea of him being weak & needing smthing else#to make him strong#even tho at this point it's rlly just for comfort but he cant afford to allow himself to have comfort when others cant#or dont need it in his heroism ideals (specifically optimus being seen as so much stronger than him)#optimus also had bee tho. had him. but bee is so self conscious he just sees all his failures surrounding optimus & views himself not a#crutch to lean on but a crutch to optimus' character#he rlly needed rodimus and his fiery upbeat persona so they could fake it till they made it together and he left & fucking exploded#(in bees eyes)#like idk im just obsessed with this little tryhard loser#he islike a sad little clingy mother who refuses to think herself as human. she is just mother. lives off evrryones accomplishments#never her own#idk like hes so interesting tonme i want to kill him teehee#chew on him like sponge cak#bumblebee#transformers#tf bumblebee#tf idw#idw#tf#????#maccadam#i hate not knowing waht tag to use
203 notes
·
View notes
Text
how's that saying go, something something disaster lesbian? heh. keep up. im a disaster in general.
#......technically a vent post.#....but I'm tired of spitting out useless blank posts with some awful tags and calling it a night#.....i kinda hate that this works even. cuz it encourages me to do it again next time i feel awful#......but......i mean....its working? I guess?#....getting the feelings out...seeing lots of likes in support.....#........sigh.#........anyway. disaster. feel it very hard tonight.#....feel the same way as the last few vents....like I'm doing things wrong#like *I'm* wrong#......inescapable sense of dread#sense that I'm constantly fucking it up#not even sure what 'it' is. Just....just know I'm doing it badly.#....i don't know why the people in my life who love me.....love me#i can't comprehend it. the idea that someone.....likes me? *me?*#.......im a colossal waste of space and nothing i bring to the table could possibly be worth dealing with me#................sigh.....#.......the.....the suicidal thoughts are coming back again#...................................i....#.........i won't do it....I'm a coward. I couldn't ever make myself follow through#.........but goddess above i#i kind of. i kinda want to kill myself#....just.....just end this farce before i hurt someone else yknow#.......christ i feel weak. ugh.#......I'm so tired....
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinkign about how alone and unloved morty was for all his life and rick was the first time anyobdy ever put such an amount of intense attention and dependency onto him . and rick had a whole new family and losing them made him stop seeing the value in other people as a whole and morty was the one and first thing that woke him up
#really long Tag rant down there#one of the most Things Ever about them to me is how morty barely even understands just how much rick loves him. more than anything#and its something ricks done on purpose hes made sure of it#because hes so weak he cant handle it#them being together is agony in avsolutely every way and sense but also theyre the best part of eachothers lives#morty because nobodys payed attention to him quite like rick has and all the exciting space adventures and rick just cause. he literally#just likes him thats it. and he never knew it#also i was thinking of this earlier. one of the reasons season 1 is soooo good to me is cuz you get to see morty grow on rick in real time#stuff like that moment where morty walks through the door and rick is instantly at the sight of him SUPER excited and he goes hey!!! but#then he clears his throat and goes Hey trying to pretend like this dumb scaredy kid isnt becoming his favourite thing hes ever known day af#er day#and goddamn night shaym aliens. in that moment where he realised morty had been fake the whole time i rlly wonder what he was thinking and#how he felt. like. oh man this is messing with me way too much this is Bad#and then he got drunk over it and yknow. that . is it post credits. i think. that scene#n literally At the Very beginning he was tired n drunk n stupid thinking like man fuck this im gonna blow this place up and do what prime#did to me. But he brought morty with him Even just at that point it flashed in his mind and he absolutely could not bear to let morty die#Breathes in#im rewatching in October bc anniversary month. i literally can’t wait im so actually impatient i considered just doing it today So hard#odiespeak
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate him i hope he explodes. im not even tagging this. im just pathetic and im obsessed with this pathetic stupid gay man. fuck you.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD
#me: yeah i gotta be respectful about the fucked up historical aspects of the lore#also me: AAAAUGHH HES GAY THE THIRD REICH IS FUCKING GAY IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE FUUUUCK#fuuuck i think the third reich is one of my comfort characters fucking hell man fuuuuuuck this is terrible fuuuck#what have i become#I SWEAR I CAN BE NORMAL#IM JUST HAVING A MOMENT#PLEASE DONT BURN ME AT THE STAKE#i promise im usually super normal about it#i am simply having a moment of weakness#FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE#im so tired bro im gonna crumble to dust
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hooray... it's 7 in the morning and I stayed up all night listening to the imperium... I feel so happy and satisfied with my life choices...
I am feeling very much not cowabunga, dude
[SEVERE rambling in tags]
#ouww it hurts!! it hurts!!! this is the stuff you're supposed to leave for angst fic writers not make canon in an alt universe?? ERIK PLEASE#i hate the whole entire world right now. genuinely cannot speak to anyone normally for the next 3-4 business days.#I have no one irl to rant to about this FUCK im stranded. im quarantined. im being held against my will free meee#The irl friend i have who knows anything at all about redacted only knows freelancer s1 i cannot drop this bigass plot on them#Genuinely i might start going mad out of repression. Erik writing “hope you enjoy” in the desc as if that wasnt the most painfully torturou#experience I've ever had in my life. The fucking inevitability. I knew Echo was going to pull some shit. IM JUST GLAD VIN AND FL ARE OK#they were NOT the turning point just let them live their cabin in the woods fantasy for however long they can okay...#Also I kinda love imp!vega. not the biggest fan of prime bc of the whole child beating situation but i sure loved this guy.#really knew what he was talking about when it came to revolutions and stuff. Like he's good. no disrespect to avior but vega did good#and he was so gentle with his partner which i find more appealing than torture but that's just me. that's just me i get it#And uh. speaking of that. Imp!sam. Yeah i get why some of yall are goin wild over him and i wish i could say i shared the sentiment but hes#too scary im weak like that. when i know a bastard would simply kill me without a care im just not into that yknow? or maybe you dont#Glad we got twisted gay damihux at the end though MUAHAJAJA that's one of the only redeeming lights that kept me alive#FUCKKKK SHIT FU K SJIT DAM ASHERS ENTIRE SCENE WITH BRACJIUM GOD HELP ME. ID DIE FOR THAT MAN#he's so fucking sad!!! he just wants his husband back!!! HE WANTS HIS FAMILY BACK!!!!!!#No even I don't understand how it's possible to get this attached to characters. I don't know. Im in deep shit.#Is this the end for me? Is my life over? These are the questions I have today. I probably just need to sleep because again#it's 7:30 in the morning. but regardless. These characters mean so much to me and this silly anthology has pulled emotions out of#me that i am terrified of feeling [survivors guilt hits me right in the fucking heart] and im scared. of what? don't know#That little shit Echo was right about one thing. It may not be real but the emotional damage it caused me is real. AND IRREPARABLE#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted imperium#redacted imp!asher#redacted echo#redacted imp!vega#redacted imp!sam#redacted vindemiator#tired of tagging. hitting the pillow. good night.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Vehemently not wanting a ship to be canon so much that you have to comment it on other people's posts is reasonable, but saying anything that suggests you disagree means you're too obsessed with fictional characters?? Please what is the difference? If you're chill about fictional characters, why does their possible romance make you so irate??
#please im so tired why are people on the internet so narrow minded im so upset#just why is it so hard to mind your own business i do not understand#if you didnt see romance ok fine it doesnt make me wrong for seeing it#apparently “it shows” that i didnt watch the show this is so stupid who fucking cares#why the fuck do you care so much i dont get itttttttt#im so tired bc there are 53039384 people on the internet who all say the same thing#and no one even asked?!??#also as if the thousands of people who ship them all didnt watch the show pleaseee its so weak#its OK for people to notice different things in a show jfc#it doesnt mean neither person didnt watch it and it doesnt make either person wrong#its giving 5 year old who doesnt understand other people have brains of their own#but times by 1 trillion bc there are that many people who behave like this on the internet what the fuck is the point looool#no but seriously#I do know the reason its bc theyd rather spread their toxic world view than confront their own issues#but even so im tired of seeing it#go the fuck away please
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
Kind of hard to ask as anon
But you doing ok?
Need to vent?
Hi very kind and thoughtful of you to ask, i am doing mmmmm suboptimal but i do not need to vent to a person per se, so much as i need to say absolutely insane shit in my tags and have everyone pretend not to see <3
#my stuff#asks#this is the problem with using tumblr as a multi-role platform bc when i want to talk about my fcuking metnal illness i stress-#about my online friends judging me for it#not in like a mean sense but just that it feels like it would change their opinion of me#like on tumblr u can say you have adhd or autism (i have the latter and likely the former)#but anything more intense is regarded as sketchy#so when i’m having symptoms disease of an additional metnal illness it’s like hmmm i don’t think i’m supposed to talk about that#mostly because the majority of the time it’s something i mask over#and do subconsciously until i get particularly tired or stressed or fatigued#so when i get to those states i’m trying extra hard not to blindside everyone with what a fucking mutant i am under the surface#like yippee hooray more ammunition for some transphobe to use in 3 weeks next time i get anon hate#anyways im. tired. i need more tattoos. i need a vacation. i need a forever hug. i need to feel cute. i need things to just be okay#i need to not be fractured into so many snapping pieces i need to know what is expected of us#i need to not feel like an adult babysitting a child who’s actually controlling me#i feel weak and undisciplined but i know fixing those won’t fill the hole gnawing my heart#im going to bed. blegh.
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
also picking raspberries turned out to be.. really fucking hard
#it's so physically demanding broo ToT#idk i feel like im just weak af because some people there seem to do it so easily and i can barely#do half a day#and they want me to do a full day tomorrow bro#like#I'm so tired after half a day..#i genuinely feel like i might just collapse or something#i do want that bit of money tho but it's sooo exhausting#i went there for half a day today and it killed me bro i was just lying in bed#and i didn't want to fall asleep cause it was like noon already but#i didn't even have the energy to look at a phone lmao#well it's gonna be over this week probably cause#the raspberries are going to stop growing in a few days apparently they're saying in 2 days#we're going to be done#I'd love to make more money but I don't think i can fucking do ittt#its so physically demanding whyyyyy#and why are there grandmas working with me in that field and they seem just fine BROOOO TOT#but yeah now that im thinking about it this also might be part of my problems cause#im soo much.ore irritable rn just cause im literally exhausted all the time ughhh#i came back home 3 days ago and i haven't even had the time to sit down at a desk and draw something#not even mentioning energy aughhh
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
People really think trust issues are just "aww they're scared of love" and it's like bitch no. Trust issues as in I'm deeply in love and the issue is I'm waiting for you break my heart after undergoing periodic abuse in relationships. I'm not scared of love I'm scared of what you'll do with it.
#ahahahaha anyways. ranty time in the tags wheeee#paranoia has been terrible today. everyones mood is off. everyones acting different. everyones acting colder. they hate me im sure of it#and all this stuff i want to be happy i just know is gonna be ruined or left with tainted memories now and its my fault#but maybe its not because why the fuck cant you be consistent. why is it so touch and go#i support ppl through the worst parts of their lives and when i need the support nobody is there#i will literally take time off work to be with someone if theyre having a hard time but me? cant even afford more than three words#im sick of being told i love you and finding no proof outside empty words. i sure as hell dont feel fucking loved. everyone is lying#it's just like my ex. he smothered me in love to cover up the major lack of actually viable love#empty words make me sick to my stomach now. everyones a fucking liar and i dont get why the wont just tell me the truth!#if im such a burden then just fucking say it! if im horrible to be around tell me! how am i supposed to every grow if nobody tells me#i just wanna be loved and not unconditionally. i want to be loved by choice. i want someone to choose me despite everything#i want someone to love me to every little detail and hold my hand even when im at my lowest and just UNDERSTAND#i want someone to love me wholeheartedly and think about me as much i do them. i want the little gestures and the sweet things i do#but here i am. always the one carrying everything and putting in all the effort. when was the last time someone really liked me.#when was the last time i existed in someone elses head. when was the last time someone cared enough to check on me. to do something?#this savior mentality is gonna kill me but im only being straightforward when i say i cannot pull myself from this alone. i am so weak#and god im fucking tired#spent at least two hours straight sobbing while regressed because even as a kid i cant outrun this#and im just getting sicker. i cant sleep. cant eat. cant stay warm. feel like im slowly fading away#and nobody even cares. its so fucking selfish and childish but my whole life ive screamed for help and nobody has seen me#do i have to become another number in the statistics for you to care? or would you even care when i die?#because at this rate i dont even need to try. my heart hasn't slowed in three days. i think i really am dying#sad thoughts#vent blog#sad blogging#vent#vent post#venting#actually mentally ill#actually traumatized
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel so weak and I've been pushing myself too far. I'm back to feeling weak and tired and fuzzy and lightheaded and constantly drained... I just want to feel okay again. I just want answers and I want treatment and I want to feel like myself...
#im still so worried#and its been 6 months and i dont have any answers#ive lost so much and i despise it#i just feel like shit constantly and when i try to do stuff it ends up knocking me on my ass for a while#went to Boston with my friends and had a great time but yesterday was basically bed rest bc i pushed myself too far#i couldn't even bring groceries in the house because i barely have the fucking energy#i feel so weak and tired and i cant do anything and it worries me so bad...#i dont want to be in a fog anymore#i dont want to feel incapable anymore#dont mind me#im just mourning the loss of how my life used to be#i guess im just stuck with this until someone figures something out
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i feel disgusting#i feel awful and bad and. helpless#and so very weak#.........i was doing well cleaning for a little while and now suddenly its like nothing mattered#ive been out of laundry for a week I've done laundry once in the last 2 months#showers take a week or even more#trash keeps piling up dishes take so long#and i just....sit here#.....it all hurts#......everything hurts so fucking much all the time and i do need help but#how the fuck do you ask a friend to do your laundry for you what the fuck kind of ask is that#............i feel so pathetic#im so tired.....#.....i wish i could just sleep forever
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
in my hater era
#sophie speaks#tw vent#like. what. what???#i do try not to upset anyone with trauma dumping or whatever but sometimes that bites me in the ass because people assume I'm not strugglin#struggling hugely#had one of my most violent meltdowns ever recently and it was after pushing myself to do something#and you know. thats on me#but saying like#im NOT trying??#i dont want to start any problems but oh my GOD what do you think being sick constantly does to a person#what???#trying to be a proper adult here but i am quite upset#idk how are you supposed to deal with shit like this#express this has upset you and that you are having a hard time#but then they dont believe you??#trauma dump it is. hope you enjoy my psychiatrists notes#like im level 2 support needs autistic. i need a little fucking leeway or i genuinely try to kill myself#i KNOW its pathetic i KNOW its weak but my number one priority is keep myself alive#im so tired#ive been suicidal for like 7 years now#my life sucks so incredibly hard and I'm in constant pain and that just#it doesnt make me willing to deal with this shit#cripplepunk core lmao#cripple and im going to kill you#this is just geniunely upsetting#i feel like i need a good cry#i really am so tired#i feel like i just dont want to do this#why am i paying for this? why am i doing this?#if im not enjoying this why the fuck would i do it
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
random vent bc i’m currently not in the best mood and i keep forgetting this is my blog and i can do whatever i want ( ；∀；)
i just had the realization that i don’t specifically like age regression in terms of me regressing; because i don’t want to do things like drawing or watching cartoons or anything like that, i just yearn for the feeling of having someone else take care of almost everything for me because i’m just so drained in every aspect that i need someone else to do things for me.
like, i’ve been in such a rut for the past 6 months since i graduated from highschool and the weight of just existing and paying bills and things have been weighing on me. i’d just love for someone to help me and tell me when and how to do things without feeling stupid or like i’ll never be able to grow on my own and not be judged. if that even makes sense.
#vamp’s rambles#im always physically tired to#because uhm#in relation to taking care of bills and such#me as well as my mom have to budget on money#so my great solution to that is just not eating when there is food so we can stretch it as much as we can#or not even just for that#but also because we dont have a lot of FOOD in the first place#just ingredients for dinner#and in cases where i just want something small like fucking chips or something#i have to walk all the way to the store to spend money i should be holding on to to take care of OTHER bills#so on top of being mentally drained#i am 60% of the time physically weak bc i don’t eat as much as i should. especially bc i dont have much of an appetite either anymore#for whatever reason
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
it’s me and these 2 cookies against the world
#💌#see i could go eat BUT im so fucking tired i think i would enter a food coma#speaking of being tired guys all nighters are not for the fucking weak#i’m gonna blame it on most of my assignments being writing based instead of memorization based though#bc i can write something over and over again and remember it just fine obv cos that doesn’t take much brain power#but i’m trying to work on an essay and like. girl. nothing about me is coherent#so i have decided to CHILL for tonight so like#expect your dashes to be spammed and your ao3 inboxes flooded#i think i’ve deserved it (contrary to popular belief. like ik i’ve been on here a lot lmaoo but i promise i am doing Things)#i just have three more hours to go
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i kinda hope that some older zelda games get remade down the line to recontextualize and better fit the zelda timeline as a whole
like OoT especially would benefit from a proper remake-- maybe give Navi some actual personality so her getting shunted out of the Ganondorf fight actually FEELS like something
and by remake i dont mean the upscales that ALttP, OoT/MM, and TP/WW got on gameboy, 3ds, and wiiu respectively-- i mean full-ass remakes/rewrites with modern gameplay conventions. like FF7R, but for zelda
the only games i think would actually benefit from proper remakes would be OoT/MM-- OoT for lore reasons and probably better character writing, and MM for gameplay, on top of the added fact that an MM remake would give an opportunity to revive previously cut game content
#cyspeaks#its a zelda brain night tonight fellas#like im sure everyone's tired of me yelling about how mid OoT's writing is compared to the rest of the series#and im not saying it's BAD i just think that it could be so much better than it was#ESPECIALLY with the whole Navi thing like i never even really used her to tell me weaknesses my first playthrough#unless i was REALLY stuck on how to hurt something#AND THEN#IN THE GANON FIGHT#SHE HAS THE /AUDACITY/ TO BE LIKE “idk what his weakness is lol” AFTER HAVING A WHOLE BIT ABOUT NOT BEING MADE TO STAND ASIDE#fuck navi honestly worst written zelda character i hate that link canonically considered her a close friend
18 notes
·
View notes