#i just have three more hours to go
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it’s me and these 2 cookies against the world
#💌#see i could go eat BUT im so fucking tired i think i would enter a food coma#speaking of being tired guys all nighters are not for the fucking weak#i’m gonna blame it on most of my assignments being writing based instead of memorization based though#bc i can write something over and over again and remember it just fine obv cos that doesn’t take much brain power#but i’m trying to work on an essay and like. girl. nothing about me is coherent#so i have decided to CHILL for tonight so like#expect your dashes to be spammed and your ao3 inboxes flooded#i think i’ve deserved it (contrary to popular belief. like ik i’ve been on here a lot lmaoo but i promise i am doing Things)#i just have three more hours to go
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...okay, one more, because Epel's white rabbit outfit is SENDING me. everyone in this event looks like a decadent little pastry and I want to eat them all.
(credit: lace stock)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#white rabbit festival#for the record i left off some of the bows#canonically he is even fancier#deuce might be the ssr but epel is the frilly little cupcake#genuinely have not been this excited for an event in a while#and that's not a knock on other events i am just SO excited for froufrou bunny frocks#chances are good they're just going to walk around for three hours and talk about. like. the gross national income or whatever#but as long as they do it while dressed like cakes i am happy#sorry if this looks bad photoshop decided to explode and corrupt my files and i lost over an hour of work on it#so i refuse to look at it any more#posting purely to spite photoshop at this point
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#I am literally going insane!#gif three is giving. practicing a presentation or pitch. or statement. specter ross era. they're a team!!!!#and mike's like. analysing but also. the touch so familiar gentle 🥹🥺#and GIF FOUR. I HAVE STARED AT THIS FOR HOURS NOW?#happiest they've ever been because they're! in! a relationship! now! open close comfy loose happy happy happy themmmmm them them#they're just??? they're literally each others. couldn't be more compatible. more simpatico. with any other.#they invented being in love. no one will ever be it like they are#anyway thank you t-mobile for my monthly put-them-in-situations + remove-the-context + brainstorm-it-from-there -athon 🙏#suits#suits tv#suits usa#marvey#harvey specter#mike ross#gabriel macht#patrick j adams#harvey x mike#mike x harvey#tmobile#t mobile#t-mobile#late to the party on this one lol but I am turning up the music! marvey party never stops
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*slaps Drayton's ass* this boy can fit so much Plasma trauma behind that smile!!!!
#elite four drayton#Trainer Kieran#Rival Kieran#Pokemon#pokemon scarlet and violet#Anyway#Yeeeaaaah#I like to think he went through whole plasma frigate going on freezing thing :)))#And that Fucked Him Up#Something something exposure therapy#Maybe!!!!!#I just like the idea...#Watch me and my fail art#I blacked out fot three hours and also I wanted to try and paint more comic stuff and it was fun#I must try to do more painty comics#Once I finish what I have on plate lol
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#BRUHHHHHH I NEED ANOTHER TEASER I BEG YOU RIOT#ITS BEEN THREE YEARS I CANT WAIT TO USE NEW CONTENT FOR GIFS LMAO#personal tag#dont look at me im just here to complain about content drought lmao its really not good in fostering a healthy fandom ngl#because ppl will just hyperfixate and consume media for like a month and then the fandom goes poof right after lol#i miss all the people scrutinizing media every week i miss all the essays pumping out when content arrives#these days its just.... nothing lmao i only really still have arcane in my mind because of fanfiction and a lot of fics have been inactive#ik we're getting new stuff in a few months#and ik we're not in canceled shows hell but like#i really hope that if theres season 3 we're gonna get it a bit more regularly#i really miss it when content was like weekly or every 2 weeks because ppl and the fandom are wayyyy more active during those times#binge culture and netflix sort of changed it lol#i miss it when fandoms were huge!!! i miss it when it was so CHAOTIC lmaooooooooo#I MISS WAITING FOR LONG ASS HOURS WAITING FOR CONTENT TO RELEASE EVERY WEEK!!!! I MISS IT!!!! that was like what 12 years ago LOL#I KNOW arcane is special with their 3 year drought because it takes time to make arcane#but like..... idk man i miss content lmao#iirc they took too long to make s2 bc they have no idea if s1 would be even renewed#so i hope s3 will be a bit more regular now#anyways im gonna go bye bye
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making of a feathered thing
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#tagging ship like a power word kill here#hi. linked there is a fic I wrote in uhhh. three hours? something like that#literally have no idea how to explain it to you at all. feel free to read if u wanna. mostly its like damn I keep puttings pictures into thi#s literary piece.#gonna cool down soon. oh boy is it hot here. probably why I wrote that#that took place in like november but the vibe is. summer. or something like that I really need to sleep#new ink arrived! its kinda watery! line still feathering! not into this!#I'll try to see if thats more my paper. dont enjoy that#but yeah Ive just been testing the ink and stuff out with these#doing these like. less than an hour each. no brain just go#man I wanna fly a kite... theres an open plot of land right next to me. I should try doing that#go out and hang out with so many bugs and fly a kite#gods. I need to sleep. idk not much to say here I simply think reki is a growing boy and he'll become great and awesome#thats all folks! have a good night. well good day. its 5am#sleep well! run so fast
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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Okay Here Is The Problem: everything costs money and yet money is something that i just literally never have. solution? kill the idea of money so that nothing costs anything Please. i'm so tired
#despite making more money w/ my commissions than ever before this year#i am still. not able to save up literally even one (1) single penny of it bc of bills#i have to make like 600 every month just to break even at like 5 dollars in my acct#please i am so fucking tired#i want to get myself things and do shit#i want to buy things for archie and jack's dog and for the house so that things are better for all of us#i want to be able to afford snacks more than once every three months like if i maybe want a bag of chips#instead of saving up for three months and going 'yeah okay 5 dollars for a normal sized bag of chips is finally worth it' ?????????????????#why the fuck are chips so expensive that is potatoes and spices and like all of it is automated hello?? what are we fucking paying for?????#ANYWAYS.#i am just fucking. Tired#due to recent events I was like#'okay how much are dog treadmills.... oh. i see. i will never be able to afford that even after three years saving. got it'#there are five hundred fundraisers on my dash (BARELY hyperbole) every single day and everybody needs help#so i COMPLETELY get people not having a ton of disposable funds this isn't me complaining about that i'm just.#i wish that i sometimes had money so that i could MAYBE save anything up or y'know. have ANYTHING to show for it#bc right now i am working full time at this job (commission/freelance artist and adopt maker etc) and making like maybe 4 dollars an hour#which is great bc when i started i was only getting about $0.11 an hour but like. that's still not. Good. For all the time i put into it#but due to circumstances and situations this is about all i'm physically and mentally able to do here and i LIKE doing commission but it's#not really. getting me anywhere and i just want to afford things finally.#i'm 27 and everything i own fits in one room and almost all of it was gifted to me for free bc i couldn't afford to get it on my own#delete later i'm just so tired man
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Any Rewind updates coming soon? 👀
If I was a very lucky person. I'd say we might see one as soon as this Friday.
But then. It may not be a very good chapter, and it may actually be a part one of a chapter.
But if it is finished, and edited, and the people want the not-very-good chapter...
Then perhaps. Perhaps we will have one on Friday.
Kindly,
The Void
#apologies for the formal speech#it just gets me sometimes#I have been writing more#I think I did decide to break up this chapter I'm working on into a part one and a part two#so really I just have to finish writing a scene. Wait a few hours for it to simmer. Come back and edit.#and then I can post it#I might have to go back and re-edit it after I post it#but.#it'll be a chapter.#After so many months...#I wouldn't bank on anything.#but perhaps.#perhaps one.#soon.#and if I am lucky#I will have the next chapter after that done by next week. Because I have finally figured out the plot.#and after that is a finished chapter I can polish up and post.#and by then I will have had three whole chapters up and loaded.#imagine that.#I might even have the one after that done. But let's not jinx that.#ask#rewind series#bbc merlin#hope this answered! thanks for asking#sorry I got to it like many months late. or weeks. I don't know how to tell time anymore. :')
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Since February the new store manager has talked to me like maybe 10 times and half of those times have just been "hey how's it going." And today she asked if I was vegan. This is perhaps the first bit of personal information she's ever asked me for??? And it’s this???
#chit chat#i don't remember my vegetarian tag it's been so long#i just have big vegan energy i guess#or people are spreading more rumors about me#which. whatever.#i suppose it is true that i only bring vegetarian meals to work and most of my snacks are vegetarian and i bring vegetarian potluck#but??? im sure people have seen me eat beef jerky???#it's probably that everyone sees me avoid the meat at company lunches#but i go to lunch three hours after the food gets here#that's not a vegetarian impulse that's food safety lmao#food mention#i must reiterate for all the new people that im not against veganism or anything#i was 90% vegan in college it's just that i do not control the buy anymore#oh yeah#i think i need a vegetarian tag despite not even being vegetarian#there we go that's the tag#veg tag
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the 14 year old edgelord in me keeps trying to compose deep poetry about coming to after dissociating. calm down babes. we’re all good here.
#blue chatter#just. the experience of blinking into existence becoming associated with ice in my mouth#and how it’s becoming a pattern that the first visual thing I process is a hand in front of my face#At least that I remember. I’m sure other stuff happens but my memory is unsurprisingly v blurry after#I feel bad for making my roommate take care of me so often#but I super cannot control when I dissociate#and I do genuinely need the help#bc today I was home alone and it took a loooooot longer to break out of the blurry stage#I somehow didn’t think to get ice about it until I was in the middle of the grocery store an hour after the episode had ended#I want to be more independent about this so people don’t have to take care of me all the time#it is relieving to know that I can live with friends after grad school#so *someone* can be around usually if something goes wrong and I’m not cognizant enough to help myself#but I don’t wanna make them feel like they have to help me or put that on them#or like. freak out their kids. their kids are not raised remotely like I was and they’re rly young so they don’t rly understand this.#how do you explain trauma to a three year old whose parents are incredibly good at gentle parenting#idk. I’ll figure it out. hopefully with time and therapy I’ll be able to process my trauma enough that I won’t be like this forever.#I don’t wanna be like this forever.#I want to go to grad school and start practicing in clinical psychology and help people#and be independent and be able to support my friends instead of the other way around
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That post about huge red flags from exes is going around and I’m like well mine requires some background reading
#xrdslog#um basically. made a bet they could convince me to kiss them and constantly hinted at it until it happened and then bragged about it a lot#then I told them I was aro#then we got a headmate that they had a crush on and started dating#and then used that to argue that I should date them bc it’s easier if it’s both of us#and then prioritized me over him#also: this headmate is one I have a father and son relationship with#so what the hell#also told me they fixated on people and they still loved me but they were fixated on their friend so couldn’t give me attention#their friend who they called their not-girlfriend. because that friend’s husband wasn’t comfortable with her being poly#and they still wanted to date her so they just called her that instead#gifted me an expensive adult toy and then took it and gave it to said not girlfriend#which. ok sure. but then why tell me it was a gift#demanded to talk to certain headmates and made a big fuss about knowing exactly who did what even though they were rarely correct#pushed me away whenever they were sad and then was upset I wasn’t comforting them#I baked banana bread once on a whim and then they constantly made me make it for them when I didn’t want to#NEEDED music playing at night and fans on them and they got upset if I didn’t want to sleep by them even though I couldn’t#‘pretended’ to choke me when I got a rare item in final fantasy before them#wanted to rp with me but demanded I start it because they were tired of starting rps with their friend. ok. not my fault ?#more than once tried to get me to sign a lease with them even though I had no money or job#got mad at me because my art was good? and they didn’t think theirs was or that they were creative?#did not ever compliment me without an insult attached for the last three years of our relationship#constantly tried to talk about sex or illegal things in front of my mom#constantly bragged about how they were going to become rich when their grandma died and hoped it happened soon#The Entire Trauma Part where they barely comforted me at all#oh also I spent basically sixteen hours a day in VC with them every day and they broke up with me for not spending enough time with them#even though I could not Possibly have spent More time with them#there is more than this. but this is off the top of my head. lol.
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i think i'm starting to really like writing again :D this will have consequences
#just me hi#oho so my beloved is back from the war huh [<- had locked the doors and windows to keep its 'beloved' out and forgot about it]#that old itch to just start slapping sounds i know on a doc and hoping in 3 days it still makes sense is back lol :3#/can't read the last thing i wrote yet cuz it hasn't been three days </3#rule is i have to spend the same amount of time away from it as i spent working on it. including editing. sad!#it Does help my brain reset though. and forget about literally everything bfhvsjgh#and i know it's possible for me to finish this kinda stuff now so like. Woho !!#the power. the Powerrrr#/also tryna get more comfortable with sharing my writing so i'm starting by sending small finished stuff to like 2 people i trust kfvshg#i can handle unwarranted critiques of my art but i am not at a stage for my writing where it won't cause like international#devastation and that's goofy so Pfvhsh 👍#we're working on it :)#and i think people's reactions are amusing so ehehehghehghgehg :3 a bonus :33#//yea though i'm gonna go put some more obleas in the freezer#obleeeeeeeeaaaa can't wait to seeeee yaaaaaa. on. my. Plaaaaate#btw shoutout to eating a spoonful of cajeta at like 1 in the morning thinking everyone's asleep and then you look up and younger#sibling no. 4 is there staring dead into your eyeballs like. is there anymore#and you go uhhh yea. and then as he's walking around to get some younger sibling no. 3 rises up from seemingly nowhere like I Want Some Too#lmfshvhf#and then you're all just sitting up for about 2 more hours just talking about very dumb things and having cajeta. illegally but still hfbvh#//anyway i'm gonna depart now :) ciao toodles lol :3
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group projects are the worst. hell of earth. my worst nightmare.
i thought i was getting better in social settings but no. ofc not.
i messed up. not even big time messing up so i can have legit reason to mope about it. ofc not. i said no to one group and now ppl are upset at me and that. is such a horrible feeling. it's such a tiny reason for such catastrophic feelings.
why is my mind like this girl you're not even failing a single class you score better than most it's just that a few ppl might not like you for a while. you're academic career isn't free falling chill
calm down.
suicide jokes ain't fun and all, but i srsly feel like flinging myself down a river and becoming one with the fish rn. literally. running away from the situation is the only thing that will solve this.
all this and i don't even know how the project will go. just end me now dear earth
#rants#why even.#i don't mind working much i chugging coffee three hours before a deadline. just. make it individual projects na#i hate my own insecurities more than anything or anyone else#i mean i'll live cause i have the exchange to take care of but i sure am not looking forward to going to class anymore
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Me earlier: haha, what were you guys doing in college?
Me, starting the next chapter: "ONLY BID ME GOODNIGHT?????" Sleep deprived, shot, bleeding, feverish, on the run, etc etc and "TELL ME GOODNIGHT?????"
And I'd like to bring your attention to:
"I THOUGHT I GAVE YOU MY WORD," HE SAID
His DOZEN YEAR AGO COLLEGE CLASSMATE broke into his house at 2am (actually 11pm, because he confessed he'd been in the house three hours,) bleeding, starving, hasn't slept in three days, basically confessed to theft (not much other explanation,) confessed to wanting to murder, and then ASKED HIM TO TELL HIM GOODNIGHT, and when he suddenly was like "no funny business about betraying me" you get OFFENDED bc you GAVE HIM YOUR WORD
WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING IN COLLEGE?????
#the invisible man#whhhhaaaaat#first the book was a comedy instead of a horror novel (altho the 'ive been in here three hours' comment#DID remind me 'oh yeah this is a horror novel')#BUT NOW THERES?????? THIS?????#read some more just to see if the dr was gonna rat him out and nah#'oh no hes invisible and insane and a murderer and hes on a rampage WHO CARES!!! servants make him breakfast'#'now were going to catch up like two old friends dont bother us'#kemp like thats MY invisible homocidal anger issues college fling that i always wished was something more#and as a man of science i have QUESTIONS
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Complete rando here, but I just wanted to pop in and say thank you for your translations. <3 I'm reading through the GG Comic Anthology right now because I cannot sleep and they are delightful and a wonderful bit of comfort.
Thanks for reading them!! Sorry it's been so long between updates on that manga, but it sounds like this is maybe your first readthrough of it so perhaps the gaps between updates hasn't been that bad haha
#asks#I like working on the GGCA but it's really tricky compared to just text translations because of the visual element of it...#Would like to get the next chapter going soon but it's a little lower down the list than some other projects I'm currently working on#I think my current to-do list is like:#Xrd art book HOS story then Chara Design mag article then Interlude ch.6 then maybe the Comic Anthology#Those first three projects are already in progress and I wanna get them done#Though... The next few GGCA chapters' pages are also already cleaned up.... ARGH! Need more hours in the day!!!#ON THE BRIGHT SIDE#The GG Wiki group and the archivist group are no longer just me and maybe 2 other people#So I've been able to kind of throttle back a bit now that I'm back to projects that don't really have deadlines#The wiki was basically my life until maybe 2 months ago rofl#Anyway enjoy this monologue. I started typing and got lost in the sauce
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