#so my great solution to that is just not eating when there is food so we can stretch it as much as we can

[dandysworld-meh-imagines]

hi hi! My first time ever requested for something so pls bear with me lol,

May I request some romantic hcs for poly partyberry ( looey and sprout ) with reader?

thank you !!

Poly Headcanons About Sprout And Looey With The Reader!

You are doing great, dear anon!! But yes, you may! I know someone who will eat this up like no tomorrow and they know who they are, hehehe, here you go, dear anon, thank you for requesting! <3

I need sleep sobs

-Anna

-Now this is an interesting dynamic! Sprout is protective over the two of you and makes sure to take care of you two as best as he can and Looey is this kinda shy mess that really tries his best. Every day is interesting with those two as Sprout always makes sure you two are feeling well and likes to make you two food he knows you will like! Looey always likes to bring a smile to your faces and he does that through his circus shows or even by simple jokes and random tricks up his sleeves like juggling, as an example! And then, there was you, who was in the middle of all of this.

-Sprout always made sure everyone ate for the day but it's kinda double the amount when it comes to you two and his best friend, Cosmo. He likes to make sure you are all fed well and have the energy to function for the day. While Sprout is not the forcing type, he does encourage you two a lot to eat when you haven't, he is a concerned boy who just wants the best for you two. If you don't feel like eating, that's alright with him, just please tell him later on to make you something to your liking! Even eating something light is fine with him. Sprout will always remind you two if you have forgotten about it.

-Looey is more shy but he really likes it when he sees a smile either on you or Sprout or even the both of you! You two actually help boost his confidence when it comes to the performances he puts on with his friends. You two are a big reason why he does super well, yes, he is more flustered but pretty happy as well. When he sees you two smiling at him or even the compliments he receives from you two afterwards? His tail is wagging as he feels his cheeks red and his heart racing! He is pretty proud of himself for making his lovers this glad and happy, it's something that makes him feel more happier and confident, not a lot but it's definitely noticable.

-The dynamic with you three is also a nice sight to witness! Sprout's protective nature shows and he loves to make sure you two are always okay and if not, please don't hesitate to let him know if something is wrong! Sprout wouldn't really get mad at you or Looey, he is determined to find a solution and take care of you as best as he can, offering things here and there for you or Looey to feel better. Cuddles? Kisses? Soft words? Advice? You got it! Looey likes to be there quietly instead if you or Sprout have a hard time and you three take care of each other in your own ways!

-Speaking of affection, Sprout probably gives most of it! Looey is more shy and prefers taking his time and Sprout loves to show you two how much you truly mean to him. Sprout can get shy himself but he definitely likes taking the first moves and gently stroking your heads or even leaving quick peck kisses here and there. Try to show him affection back and Sprout feels himself getting flustered as he is laughing softly at your affection, it definitely makes him feel more warm and fuzzy inside though! Looey gets more flustered easily but that doesn't mean he doesn't lean towards you or Sprout happily!

-Since you and Sprout come to Looey's circus shows, you and Looey also show your support by visiting Sprout in the kitchen when he is cooking or baking some delicious sweets! He really appreciates it when you two sit down to help him and Cosmo and he loves to make a bit more extra just to give it to you two as a thanks for all the help. Sprout is also big on the praises and even helps guide you two to what to do next this and that in this firm yet gentle voice of his. Cooking or baking with him is really fun! Looey worries if he is doing a good job and Sprout loves to say yes and even guide him and even you if you are struggling! It can be chaotic, yes, but it's fun!

-Cuddling or even sleeping at night all together, snuggling up to each other like this is also something really nice. Sprout loves to be the big spoon as he tries wrapping his arms around the two of you or even resting his hand somewhere like your backs or shoulders, just a nice warmth that reminds you that he is always there for you. Looey gets flustered with the whole thing and might even overheat a little, just take it slow with him and he'll probably be good enough to show some shy affection back! His hands sweat and he is nervous and his tail is wagging lowly, reassure him gently if possible!

-It's also pretty funny how Sprout's kisses can be a little rough but he also means well. He just loves watching the two of you get flustered just by kissing you, either on your faces, everywhere else he can kiss and especially your lips! Looey, like said before, is more shy and needs time but you can't lie, when he leans into the side of your head or does something simple like squeezing your or Sprout's hand, it's something that makes you two melt since Looey usually hides his face, curls up somewhere when flustered and this and that. So moments like these are rare but so worth it to see!

-You know you can count on them for anything and know that they also have your side with anything you want to do! Those two support you through it all and love to show you in their own ways, whether it's Sprout praising you or Looey making sure to make you smile as you giggle! You can always lean back on your boyfriends for everything and you know they'll be right by your side, helping ground you if you feel nervous or this and that or even physical touches that help keep you calm (or them using their words if physical touch is something you don't really like/are comfortable with).

-Overall, it's all pretty wholesome and those two are happier than ever to be with you. Since both of them are quite tall, you like to compare your height with them for fun and they think it's cute! Sprout often gives you cupcakes to both you and Looey and Looey likes to make you smile at least once a day! Those two love each other and you so much and they are very happy in this relationship! They can't wait to see what the future has for them but as long as you three are together and always cheering and supporting each other like that, they feel like everything will always be okay.

Thank you for reading! <3

[bettsfic]

things i've learned about cooking after finally getting the hang of it after 20 years of trying and also finally organizing my kitchen:

note that i mostly cook for myself so a lot of this won't apply to people who have to cook for their whole family

invest in good storage solutions. buy the pop top pasta holder, the fancy glass tupperware, the very pretty candy jar. if you like looking at it and it's something you'll use for years, maybe the rest of your life, it is worth the money

that said, depending on your budget, making a list of all of said storage solutions (and utensils, tools, appliances, etc.) and buying one a month is a good way to spread it out. again, if it lasts a lifetime and you'll use it, it's worth it

cook food you love. this is such a simple thing and for some people probably obvious, but as someone who is not at all a picky eater, for years i found myself only cooking things that were tasty but not to *my* tastes, just because the fancy recipe i found told me it was good

another note about cooking to your own tastes: if you're just starting out cooking for yourself, don't bother thinking about what's healthy. focus on making meals that you want to shovel into your face. healthy can happen once cooking gets easier. the idea is that you're learning to love food you make *more* than food that can be delivered

THINK SMALL. i, a midwesterner, seem to be genetically predisposed to buying the most giant of all things, because you can use big stuff for small things but not the other way around. for example, if you're only cooking for yourself or one other person, you can buy one of those little half baking sheets instead of a full one. a leeettle skillet for your one grilled cheese instead of hauling out the one that can fit four. the bigger one is heavy and annoying to clean, and even though that might not seem like a big deal, when you're weighing your options, these kinds of hurdles start to add up. again, if it will encourage you to cook, it is worth investing in

speaking of hurdles, make everything as easy as possible. i am a perfectionist. i like doing things the Right Way. so when a chef says, "don't use cooking wine, use real wine" when i don't buy alcohol, and "the key to good asparagus is only buying it in season" when i don't even know what that season is or where to buy asparagus locally, it just means i won't try that recipe even if i was excited to, because i've been taught (get ready for it) it's not worth doing unless you do it right. but fuck that. you're not aiming for the best, you're aiming for food you're excited to eat

when i say "as easy as possible" i mean so easy may that it might even become fun. buy jarred garlic, an electric can opener, pre-cut vegetables. pots and pans you think are cute. mats for your feet. the prettiest apron you've ever seen. take note of anything that pings your brain as "hard" even if your natural inclination is to dismiss it because *other* people don't find it hard. write it down. figure out a way to make it easier or better

cooking is an inherently sensory experience. if you have sensory issues, your goal is to accommodate yourself to the highest possible degree. if you avoid washing your hands because you hate the smell of your soap, throw it out (or give it away) and go on a journey to find soap that's more pleasing to you

if you research cooking, especially on youtube, you'll find a lot of youtubers who try to encourage you to make excess so you can freeze it, meal prep so you don't have to worry about cooking throughout the week, etc. these are great tips but again: none of that stuff is worth thinking about until cooking becomes easier. just think about one meal at a time

if you hate leftovers, make sure you're only cooking single-serving easy meals or slightly more difficult double-serving meals. don't bother with 4 servings of something you might hate. for the next-day serving, it'll probably taste better if you heat it up in the microwave on 70% or 50% power. this has saved like a hundred otherwise disgusting meals for me

i know those weekly meal box subscriptions are basically a scam and crazy expensive, but i bought 1-2 a month for a year with the same service and i started to understand the techniques they used above and beyond the recipes they were providing. it's really eye-opening to realize one of your favorite meals is really only 6 ingredients and you know *how* to put them together without reading any instructions

honestly the meal box was not more expensive for me than my food budget. everyone says buying grocery food is way cheaper, but if you're buying 2lbs of rice just to cook 2 cups and then you're never going to cook rice anymore, that's still the cost of that whole bag of rice. with a meal box, they only give you exactly what you need for the recipe. combined with going out to eat and getting delivery, 2 boxes a month ended up being about the same price

if you're the kind of person who needs to understand the theory behind basically everything in order to anchor the skills it requires, i highly recommend the book Ruhlman's Twenty. it goes through the science of cooking like heating food and why salt makes things taste good

once you get into a groove and you have a good idea of your favorite ingredients, pick 40 to always have on hand so that you're not buying for individual recipes and you can also organize your kitchen more easily. with 40 base ingredients you know that unless there's a special occasion, you'll basically only have these items to find a place for

if you work from home, break dinner into prep time and cook time. if you prep dinner when you go eat lunch, it's very hard to say "i just don't feel like cooking" when it comes to dinner time, because 1) all your food is out and ready to go, and 2) you're already done with half the work

progress and improvement may be slow. be patient with yourself. cooking is a life-long commitment and so you're not in any rush. be honest to yourself about both your ambitions and limitations, and set up your kitchen and shopping list to suit your needs

food is necessary to live. if you have to choose only one aspect of your life to focus on improving, i recommend cooking. even though we live in a convenience economy and can get basically anything delivered, i find i'm so much happier now. i have more energy. i sleep better. cooking food you love is one of the best gifts you can give yourself

[fuckingrecipes]

Cooking question I'm too embarrassed to ask someone IRL: how easy or hard is it to accidentally poison yourself?

I know not to eat things that are too old (past the best-by date, changed color etc), I know not to eat things that were burned. I know to be careful about handling raw meat. I know how to store leftovers. I know to pay attention to instructions on the package and to check if the package is damaged etc.

But at the same time... well, a lot of cooking advice I've seen over the years includes some variation of "try things out, see what you like!" and I'd kind of like to do that. But if the results turn out inedible, I'd like them to be "inedible" as in "tastes very bad" and not "inedible" as in "going to upset your stomach" or "send you to the hospital"

If I try to cook/bake/roast/fry/whatever a food that can be eaten raw, like fruit, what are the odds that the result will be safe to eat?

What about lettuce? I'm aware it would probably taste bad, but would it be safe to try?

If I mix random liquid-y things from my pantry to make a sauce for whatever vegetables&meat I'm frying, what are the odds the result would be safe to eat? (Assuming all the components are edible by themself, I'm NOT talking about cleaning solutions or dish soap or whatever)

What might be some questions I don't even know I should check?

If I try to cook/bake/roast/fry/whatever a food that can be eaten raw, like fruit, what are the odds that the result will be safe to eat? If I mix random liquid-y things from my pantry to make a sauce for whatever vegetables&meat I'm frying, what are the odds the result would be safe to eat?

100% safe. There is a ZERO (0%) percent chance of accidentally creating a poison when cooking a safe-to-eat-raw food item.

You're not going to accidentally create a poison when you mix spices, sauces, or various edible ingredients together.

It's just not how chemistry works. With no exception I can think of, you can't take one safe-to-eat plant or animal and cook it or mix it with another in a way that will create a toxic substance.

Cooking lettuce to eat is safe. Cooking whole fruit is safe. Mixing a hundred sauces together is safe. Go for it.

I could take a sample of every single individually edible item in my fridge, pantry, and spice cabinet, blend it all into a big slurry, cook it & eat a portion of that concoction with confidence that I won't die from it. While it may be gross and taste bad, it won't actually harm me. It won't be a poison, no matter how many different types of food ingredients are tossed into the pot.

I cannot guarantee that you will never upset your stomach, because you could be sensitive to or allergic to an ingredient that I don't know about. It's not a poison to all humans, but it'd be uncomfortable to you. You can only learn about that through experience.

What CAN be dangerous:

Improper sterilization and improper technique can accidentally leave poison-producing bacteria or mold to breed when canning or fermenting foods.

Eating large amounts of a couple specific foods can be risky. There's not a lot of these, so here's a list of the big names to keep an eye on:

Cassia (common) cinnamon has a chemical that is toxic in larger quantities, but harmless in small quantities. If you eat 2 teaspoons a day, every day, you'll run into trouble. If you use Ceylon cinnamon instead, you can eat pretty much as much as you want.

Don't eat a whole nutmeg. It's wonderful when used sparingly, but can be poisonous in large amounts. Same rule as Cassia cinnamon: 2 teaspoons a day, every day, will get you into trouble. Eat less or less often.

Eating too much Liver (the organ) can cause copper toxicity and Vitamin A toxicity. It's great for you when added to a meal once a week, or a couple times a month, but shouldn't be eaten daily or in huge amounts.

Don't swallow cherry pits. They're generally harmless when swallowed whole, because they pass through digestion unscathed, but if they're crushed or cracked open first they release a compound that turns into cyanide when digested. Our body handles cyanide pretty well, but 4-5 cracked pits can become harmful. So: Don't chew them, and don't swallow them on purpose.

There are some foods which need special preparation to be made safe. They're safe COOKED, but not RAW.

Cooked beans & legumes are safe to eat. But if you're starting from a totally DRY bean or lentil (canned are pre-cooked) make sure to soak them in water for several hours and boil until they're FULLY COOKED before you eat. (Fully cooked is when you can crush them easily with a fork, with no gritty or hard center) Undercooked or uncooked beans & legumes can fuck up your guts real good. Very painful, horribly unpleasant, but probably won't kill you.

Cassava (the root vegetable that tapioca is made from) MUST be thoroughly cooked before eating. Raw cassava can be toxic. It's another cyanide bro.

Don't eat raw potatoes - always cook them. If your potatoes have sprouted, don't eat the sprouts & peel any green skin off. Tbh tho, an adult would need to eat at least a pound of green potatoes to get sick. Be reasonably cautious about it. Don't feed green potatoes to small children.

--

Note: This advice is intended for someone who shops at a grocery for their food, not someone who is foraging for ingredients or is growing their own. There's a lot more opportunities to poison yourself when working with whole plants in the wild, and not the prepared-for-sale ones at a store.

[seat-safety-switch]

Rich people have a million little ways to trick and trap you. Take forks, for instance. To us, just a thing you stab your food with. Only need one kind. No. If you eat at a fancy country club, maybe with the Queen of some even fancier-pants country, you need to know which fork is specifically for salad. As soon as you break that contract, they know you're just pretending to be one of them. The mockery will begin, and nobody – I mean nobody – will invest in your dirigible business, not even if you call it a zeppelin to take advantage the recent inexplicable interest in the German language.

There's a solution, of course. You can send yourself to finishing school, which – despite the name – does not have any happy endings. Medium-fancy people will teach you the ways and means of the extremely-fancy people, and by doing so you will be able to worm your way into the bourgeoisie and destroy it from the inside. I mean, get funding for your great product idea. What you need to look out for here is the subtle brainwashing.

We have a tendency, as a species, to assume that everyone else knows the same things you do. Now, when a person on the subway doesn't know what fork to use to eat the rat they just caught, you'll judge them, despite not knowing this very information five fucking minutes ago when you paid Fancy Nancy to teach you about it. That person on the subway is your fellow human being, moreso than the baby-rich that you are trying to ingratiate yourself with. Do not take them for granted. You can easily find yourself fighting against a person who is more like yourself than different, breaking up the working-class camaraderie of the proles in a bullshit attempt to curry favour with the guy who won't even buy 2% of your blimp business, I mean come on dude, we can get tourists on this thing and soak them!

No. As soon as you know a way to pretend to be rich, it is your solemn duty to tell everyone else around you this same way. Get as many regular folks up the ladder and into the country club to steal their silverware as possible. And I'll help you right now with a rich people secret of my very own: golf is actually really boring. They just do it so they have a nice place to gossip about the other golfers. Now if you distract them while I steal the batteries out of their golf carts, we can get like two or three bucks from the scrapper. Then I can buy some helium tanks for my business. No, of course you'll get a free ride. Solidarity, friend.

[romancedawn333]

tell me to stop, but i won't. (reader x zoro)

i honestly really lack experience writing fan-fic, let alone for one piece. let me know what i can do to improve, and if you want anything in particular lol. i appreciate all the likes i received on my last post <333

joining the strawhat pirates was unlike anything you have ever experienced in your life. it was exhilarating, exhausting, and every gray line in-between. the crew truly became your family.

at first, it was strange that even after long days the crew still held large, goofy smiles on their faces. you weren't used to that. you grew up in a hostile environment, where everyone was so quick to lash out on each other. so, when you see a badly hurt luffy still beaming his signature smile your heart melts a little. this truly is where you were meant to be. your family.

slowly, over time, you've grown closer and closer to zoro.

it began with quick glances on the sunny. when the crew would eat dinner together, you'd peek over to only see his gaze meet yours. instead of looking away, you'd tilt your head at him. he'd raise his eyebrow and look away. confused, you'd avert your eyes and chose to stare at the food in front of you.

those glances quickly developed into something different. when ussop would tell his far-fetched stories or luffy would say something so stupid with confidence only a true idiot could hold, your eyes would meet. you'd bite the side of your cheek, trying to hold back laughter as zoro studied your expression matching it with annoyance.

and in those moments zoro really saw you through your eyes. they were so resilient, yet held a great amount of softness to them. he studied the way your eyelashes framed your eye, how your eyebrows scrunched together when observing, and the way your eyes shimmered when the smallest beam of light hit them. but nothing beat his favorite moment, when he anticipated your eyes to meet his.

every time your eyes met his, his heart stops beating. his palms felt clammy. suddenly, it became so hard to practice his stoicism. he had to fight his body's initial reaction to smirk at you, and keep his usual calm and emotionless face. to be frank, zoro didn't really understand why he had to fight his body near you.

slowly over time, a bond was created. when zoro would train, you'd often be lounging around near him. typically, you would be laying on the floor, on your stomach, with your legs up while reading a book you had loaned from robin.

the first time zoro caught you in this position he gulped. his eyes hardened, and he had to turn around to regain his position.

at times you would train with zoro, with his persistence. he'd warn, "you might need a sword to save our lives one day, so try." you couldn't really imagine a situation where you would have to use a sword, as you had your own devil fruit powers. but you knew there was no arguing with zoro. with an eye roll, you got up and raised your hand. you kept your eye on zoro as a sword gravitated toward your hand from its leaning position on the wall.

training with zoro proved difficult. his physical strength outweighed yours. however, where your strength ended your wits began. he admired that, instead of accepting failure you always attempted to find a clever solution which often left you just enough to winning.

losing to zoro always meant end up being pinned down by him. you didn't really notice the comprising position which it left you both in at first. rather, you always attempted to wrap one leg around him and use your strength to flip him under. he usually fought this. however, one day he decided to let you pin him under. your legs straddling around his hips.

he glanced up, breathing heavy only to be met with your pouty lips and seductive eyes drawing him in like a siren. his eyes darked. and he quickly pushed you off and walked away before you could have noticed any stiffening of his body.

zoro is usually quick to insult sanji for his unbashful flirting with the women of the crew. however, when it came to you it was different. sanji often times made a little extra for you then he did the others. when visiting new islands, he would try to find recipes to local desserts he know you'd love. zoro would watch silently, keeping his mouth closed. his sharp gaze often spoke louder than any word he could utter.

at the end of one tiring battle, zoro came to you exhausted. he let out a loud breath before sliding down on the wall next to the door to your bedroom. each of his breaths seemed heavy, as if it was exhausting all his energy to breath. you stepped away from the door frame and crouched down in front of him. you couldn't help the bruises left all over his hands and knuckles. you met his eyes, stood up quickly, and turned around to grab the bandages you had in your bedroom.

as you wrapped his arm in the soft white bandage, all zoro could notice was you. the way the soft light of the moon hit your cheekbone. how it created an illuminating light around your head, like a halo. the way your eyes were tense, wrapping his hand as if you were afraid to worsen the pain. he couldn't help but notice instead of shaming him for not going to chopper, you silently rushed to his aid. and in that moment, he truly realized he loved you. he realized he couldn't fight it any longer.

you leaned back. you took in his state, bloody and bruised. instead of warning or yelling at him, you simply leaned against the wall on the opposite side.

"zoro, you have to come with me to the kitchen." you uttered softly.

there was no response from zoro. he just kept his eyes trained on yours. you extended your arm, offering it as aid for him to get up. he accepted it. once he was standing, you took his arm and slung it around your neck to offer stability. you guided him slowly to the kitchen, before allowing him to sit down on one of the chairs.

without forethought, you began preparing an ice pack to treat the bruises on his face.

all zoro could notice was the way the blue silk pajamas hugged every inch of your body. the way it complimented your skin. the way your silky hair hung behind your back, cascading and catching the light. and before he could help himself, he got up and placed a short distance between you and him.

when you turned around, you jumped. you hadn't noticed zoro had moved. yet here he was, towering over you. his gaze was hard, studying your face.

"i shouldn't do this." zoro said licking his lips.

"zoro what are you talking about, sit the fuck down before you hurt yourself some more." you roll your eyes.

and he laughs. not a chuckle. not a smirk. he full on laughs, enough to brighten up his face. and all you could do was admire his face. it was handsome, a type of beauty you could see once and be enthralled in.

"god, tell me to stop- and i will. but don't lie to your body." he brings his face close to yours.

you took a second to process, what the fuck is this man talking about? wasn't he just inju-

before you could finish your thought, his lips collide into yours. and instead of thinking, instead of fighting your body, you let in. you bring your hands up to the back of his neck, placing it there for some stability. he deepens the kiss, enough for you to let out a breathy moan you did not realize your body was fighting.

and for zoro, that was his breaking point. his body couldn't fight it any longer. his mind has etched you as his. he would do anything to mark you as his territory. something primal in him was screaming.

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Mortality Defined

Masterlist Word count: 1.6 k Halsin x Reader Read on AO3

Summary: You are a human, Halsin is an elf. Your lifespan is much shorter than his and he wonders if life is worth living if you're not in it.

Writer's note: I don't know why but I still can't post a full work here. I don't know why. Tumblr just doesn't allow me to add any words to these one-shots. If anyone has any solutions for me, please let me know. I'm getting frustrated.

The year changes from sunlit beach days to a sunset of leaves. Halsin always admires this time of year. The dying of the world in anticipation for new life. It's a wonderful thing and something he often ponders on.  A year is an hour in the long, long lifespan of an elf. In Halsin's busy and chaotic life it feels more like a second, but these past weeks travelling with her and the other friends he made felt like centuries. She, so humble and kind, carried the world on her shoulders.  He feels he will never understand her fully. She is human. Where he has already lived 350 years, she will get a 100 if she's lucky. With their way of life, it will probably be less. A human's body dies around them every second of every day after they're done growing.  She was 27 when they embarked on their journey to safe Faerun, a young adult in human years. When he was 27 he was just latching off the helping hands of his parents. She told him she had been living on her own since she was 18.   Now she's 32 and has been living with him since the Absolute was put down. He can tell she's slowly ageing. She is forming some smile lines and little crows feet at the corners of her eyes. Halsin hadn't really thought about elderly people as his kind doesn't visibly age much after a certain point, but then he was confronted with Shadowheart's mother who looked so frail. It suddenly made him realize that she will someday look like that as well.  Even so, there's this thing that is only found in those that are human. The phenomenon of the Impenetrable Human Spirit. A death grip on life, refusal to let go in the direst of times. When all the odds are stacked against you but you refuse to let them define you. Which sounds strange until you meet a few humans in time of war. After he realized that, he understood why so many Flaming Fists are human.  He hopes he'll never have to witness it again but to see someone so fiercely cling onto life while any other would have already perished in the same circumstances is truly a sight. Humans are a force to be reckoned with. Even with their short lifespans, they try to put something worthwhile on this plane. They want to feel accomplished.  'Halsin, dinner's ready,' her angelic voice calls from inside and Halsin snaps out of his trance. 'Did you want to eat outside?' He looks over his shoulder through the open backdoor of their cosy little cottage, straight into the kitchen where she is plating up dinner. She's a wonderful cook, an amazing partner, and a great artist. His days are spent trying to find the best way to worship her being in hopes it'll buy her another year.  'That'd be lovely. Thank you.’ She walks out with two plates and a smile on her face. He takes his plate from her as she sits down on the grass next to him.  'You were so far away all day,' she notes with her smile still on her lips, 'where did your mind go?'  'My heart, you would not want to know.'  'Don't worry me, love. You can tell me.' Halsin takes a second to compose himself, playing with his food for a second. She always tells him everything, what reason does he have to keep his worries to himself? She'll understand. She always does.  'I was pondering your mortality.'  'How so?'  'Well, I have nothing but time, but that is not the same for you. I have lived over three centuries. That's three, maybe four, human lifetimes. You are merely a tenth of my age and yet you feel like an equal.' He looks over to her, a somber smile now plays on her lips.  'That's not all, is it?'  'It is not.'  'Are you worried you will be alone after I pass? That you won't have enough time to know me?'  'Something like that, yes.'  'Something like that?' 

Read the remainder on AO3

[twoidiotwriters1]

Three times Luffy fell for you (Monkey D. Luffy x Fem! Reader)

A/N: So fucking cute! Send more requests and help :v - Val

Words: 1, 763

Warnings: Spoilers of anime/manga One Piece! Mentions of death, and I think that's all.

Three times Luffy fell for you. 

1 

Luffy wakes up in the middle of the night, but this time, it’s not because of a nightmare or a noise, he just feels weird. 

His first thought is to go to the kitchen to find some food. Of course, he couldn’t get anything, thanks to Sanji’s tramps. He whines, but a noise interrupts his thoughts. He realizes it’s someone crying. 

He gets to the Sunny’s deck, and he finds you sitting on the stairs. “Y/N? Are you okay? Why are you crying? Are you hungry too?” He quickly sits beside you. 

You look at him startled and feel overwhelmed by the rain of questions. It only makes you cry more. He panics and decides to hug you instead of trying to keep talking. 

As you feel his body around you, you melt against him hiding your face on his chest. He stretches his arms around you many times to hold you tighter and rest his head over yours. 

The two of you stay like that until you stop crying, you can control your breathing and you stop hiding. He loosens his grip but still holds you. 

“I had a nightmare,” you say with a broken voice. “I lost all of you and I couldn't do anything to stop it.” 

Luffy hums. “I had that kind of nightmares too,” he sighs, “I can’t blame you, they’re really scary and it feels real.” 

“Yeah,” you nod. 

“But you know who hates them the most?” You lean back to look at him. “Zoro,” he giggles. “When I have those nightmares, I have to make sure everybody’s okay, but the first person I see it’s him, so I wake him up every time. And it’s hard to wake him up and, he’s never happy,” Luffy makes a funny scary face that makes you giggle. 

“And sometimes the others wake up too, so they all start to scream at me, but it’s okay. At least I know they’re fine,” he smiles. 

“That’s a good solution,” you say sarcastically, but Luffy doesn’t get it. 

“Right?” His chest starts to feel funny when he sees your smile again. “See? You’re not the only one with that nightmare. Everybody’s okay. And I’m here with you, and I heard the others snore, so they’re okay too!” You giggle again. 

“You’re right,” you sigh. “Thanks, Luffy.” 

Now Luffy feels funny in his stomach, so he remembers. 

“Oh, right! You know, this could be a great moment to have a sweet!” He pouts. “But, bad news, Sanji locked the fridge again,” he whines. 

You laugh at his childish behavior, but you move a little to lose more of his grip and turn to the side to pick up a small blue box. 

“Here,” you offer the box. “You can have the honor to eat my last cookie.” 

Luffy’s eyes sparkle. “What? The last one? Really?” You laugh and nod. “Thank you!” He squeals grabbing it, but then, he stops to look at the cookie and then at you. He frowns when he still sees your teary eyes, pink cheeks, and tired smile. “I want to share it with you,” he says breaking the cookie in half. 

“What!?” You exclaim. “You never share your food with anyone. You just take it all!” 

He laughs at loud. “But I want to share with you! C’mon, captain’s orders” he says with a playful authority. 

You giggle. “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah!” He smiles. 

“Thank you, Captain.” 

“You’re welcome!” He turns his sight to his half of the cookie and eats it in one bite. 

You take a moment to see the details on Luffy’s face, his skin, his rebel and raven hair, some freckles, his nose, fine lips, and his eyes, always full of excitement. Without thinking much, you lean forward to kiss his cheek. 

He raises his brows and looks at you with a confused face. 

“Why did you do that?” He asks curiously. 

You shrug. “I wanted to,” then you panic. “I—is that okay?” 

He smiles. “Only if I can kiss you whenever I want,” he says without any sign of flirtation. 

You blush. “W-what?” 

“It’s only fair, right?” He says with a chuckle, so casual and calm while you’re a mess. “Deal?” 

“D-Deal!” 

He nods and looks at his ship, but there’s still something he can’t figure out. The funny feeling in his stomach increased and now it’s on his chest too. Maybe he has to ask Chopper about it… or eat more. 

2 

Every year, on the same day of Ace’s death, Luffy gets so quiet that it feels wrong. 

Sometimes, Luffy’s complicated in other situations, but this is another level. Nobody knows what to do. They’ve tried to ask him, but he doesn’t talk all day and he rejects any help from his crew. 

He’s sitting in his favorite spot, he’s been looking at the horizon for many hours, just until he hears someone’s steps and groans. 

“Shit,” you say grabbing another part of the Sunny’s head as you keep trying to climb it. There’s a reason why this is Luffy’s spot. It’s hard for someone without a devil fruit. 

Luffy leans to look at your struggle. He frowns, stretches one arm to grab you by your waist, and pulls you to his side. 

“Uff… thanks, Luffy!” You smile gratefully.  

“Why do you want to climb?” He asks. His voice’s raspy. 

“Oh!” You act like you’re not worried about his state. “I-I know you uh, you don’t like anyone else to sit here but...” 

“No,” he interrupts you. “It’s okay. You can.” 

You smile blushing. 

“Thanks, uh...” you move on your place “I just—I Just don’t want you to be alone for so long,” you whisper. “I mean, I can go if that’s what you want, I know it’s a hard day for you but...” You look at him. “You don’t have to face it alone.” 

He doesn’t answer, he just moves and lays down with his head resting on your lap. Then, he reaches for your hand, and when he finds it, he puts it on his hair. You catch what he wants and start brushing the tufts with a soft giggle. 

“Thanks,” he whispers. 

3 

It’s a tradition for the straw hats to throw a huge party after a tough fight and this isn’t the exception. 

Zoro and Nami are betting about who can drink more sake while Usopp’s singing with Brook and Franky since they lost a bet, Robin’s watching them dancing around. Chopper and Luffy are eating all Sanji’s making.  

At first, you celebrated with the same enthusiasm as your friends, but now, you feel like your body’s finally giving up. You return to the Sunny, directly to your room. 

As much as you want to take a shower to wash off the party’s sweat, your body aches so much that you think it wouldn’t work on your own and you don’t want to call Robin or Nami for help. 

“Just the pj’s then,” you say out loud. You leave the weapons on the floor and grab your shirt to pull it up, but the pain of your wounds stops you. “Fuck!” You groan. 

“Are you okay?” says Luffy arriving at your room.  

You turn to him scared. “Shit, Luffy!” You yell at him, and he smiles. 

“Sorry,” He walks up to you. “Why did you leave the party?” 

You chuckle. “Shouldn't you be... you know, turning into a big ball full of food and having fun?” 

“It's no fun if you're not there,” he says like is nothing, but you’re blushing, and your heart pounds. “So, why you don’t go back?” 

You shake your head. “I’m exhausted, Luffy. I can’t even put on my pj’s,” you laugh. 

“Oh! Do you want me to help you?”  

His eyes tell you that his offer is pure and innocent. You’re 100% sure that your captain has no other intentions. But you can't help feeling uneasy and nervous. 

“Y-you don’t have to.” 

“I want to.” He smiles and you nod. 

He grabs the end of your shirt and gently pulls it over your head. You hiss a little and then throw the shirt away. When you look up, Luffy’s eyes are on the bandage around your waist. 

“Luffy?” You almost whisper. 

“You fought great,” he grins and he feathery touches the bandage. “You’re an awesome fighter,” he nods. 

“Thanks.” 

“Sometimes… I forget that you and I are different in battle.” 

You frown. “What do you mean?” 

He returns to your eyes. “You can't last as long fighting as me, you get exhausted sooner and you heal last,” then he smiles. “But no matter how strong your opponent is… you always find a way to win,” he giggles. “You always surprise me with your smart brain.” 

“Really?” You smile. 

“Definitely.” 

You realize the proximity of your bodies, Luffy's breath mingles with yours and your noses almost touch. You can’t help but lean a little up and kiss his lips sweetly. It lasts a few seconds, and you move away, waiting for his reaction. 

He frowns. “Wait! I’m feeling funny again!” 

“What?” 

“It’s like—I dunno. When I’m with you… in my belly—and chest—and then you kissed me, and it got worse!” He steps back. “It’s all your fault!” He points at you. 

You think for a while about all his words and his reaction, then, you figure it out. You blush with a smile. “I feel the same, Luffy.” 

“You do? Are we sick? Are we gonna die?” 

You giggle stepping closer to him. “No. It means that you like me and… I like you.” 

“I don’t get it. I like everyone in the crew but with you it’s different,” he pouts. 

You nod and take his face in your hands. “It’s okay, Luffy,” you whisper leaning to kiss him again. This time the kiss is longer, and he reciprocates following the movements of your lips against his.  

“I’ll explain it to you, I promise...” 

“’Kay, but does it mean that we can keep kissing? It feels nice.” 

You giggle. “Yeah, we can do that, but...” you flush looking down, realizing you’re just in a bra and jeans. “Can you help me with my clothes? I’m still tired.” 

“Oh, right!” 

He undresses you, leaving you in your underwear, and then helps you with your pajamas, and cuddles up with you in your bed and so it starts a make-out session between whispers, laughter, and love. At some point, you fall asleep, resting on his chest as he hugs you without hurting you. 

[heyyallitssatan]

I have another Batfam headcanon

So Bruce is absolutely paranoid and insane about keeping his secret identity secret, and there are some obvious thing you do to that end, wear a mask, don’t give out your legal name, don’t leave your gear lying around where anyone could stumble upon it, etc

But here’s a weird one I’ve never seen anyone mention but I’m convinced that paranoid freak has thought of: scent

Scent is the sense most closely tied to memory and emotion in our brains right? So it would make sense that you wouldn’t ever want someone to associate a certain scent with you that could connect both identities

Now, this is absolutely insane and something’s I don’t think anyone would ever think of, but the man who refuses to eat branded food on a stakeout so no one can make connections, he absolutely has

And I think he’s come up with a solution to this conundrum: before any bat goes out in their suit they have to shower with unscented soap to get rid of any lingering scents from perfumes or lotions or shampoos they’ve used

Sounds great right, you use unscented soap and don’t smell like anything no one can use that to track you

Here’s the thing though, and anyone who’s ever used an unscented soap knows where I’m going with this one, unscented soap has a very distinct scent, it smells like the word unscented, it’s strong and not generally pleasant, but it does mask most other subtle scents

But if unscented soap has a scent and they use that before every patrol then wouldn’t that be just as bad cause now the Wayne’s have that same unscented soap smell

Nope, they only have the unscented smell when in costume, the rest of the time they have their own signature scent they were intentionally, both because it helps separate them from their vigilante personas further and because it’s the kind of thing rich people would do

So here’s my headcanons for the Wayne’s signature scents

Bruce: sandalwood cologne and shea butter body scrub

Dick: fresh rain scented bath products

Jason: evergreen and old leather

Tim: clean laundry (apparently that’s a fucking scent) and coffee (but not real coffee, more like coffee scented something)

Damian: teakwood soap, it’s subtle

Cass: subtly vanilla

Steph: vaguely sweet vaguely fruity

Duke: sort of honey like, a sweet smell but also flowery

Babs: one of those smells that is distinctly that smell, but you know there’s ten thousand of those it could be, and it has a weird name with a weirder commercial

[fanaticsnail]

Oh shit the Yandere Doflamingo and that scene from Beauty & the Beast "If she doesn't eat with me, she doesn't eat at all." is so Doffy 🫠

Extra points if he calls her "princesa" which is Spanish (in OP world it would be Dressrosan I guess?) for princess. It has this very nice sound in Spanish.

Extra extra points if he never called any previous royalty by their title bcs why should a Celestial Dragon call anyone royalty? He's the only real royalty! (in his head) But then he calls reader princess (not putting the Reader's name after the title bcs it's still Doffy) It acts as an endearment mostly, but the servants & his crew are like "are we dreaming, did he actually call a princess princess, wtf is happening?"

Would be even better if he sometimes called her "mi princesa" (my princess) he'd be so comforting and such a KIND KING with her.

We need a scene where he gets on a bent knee and takes her hand and kisses her knuckles. Maybe when he saves her from an assassin from the enemy that ruined her country, assuring her nobody will hurt her in Dressrosa? He could cover her eyes with his hand so she doesn't see him decapitate the man after he gets all the information out of him.

Doffy can 100% pretend to be a nice guy the thing is how much patience does he have to endure it ie the time period, cus I think the mask falls of quick if he isn't careful. Though, he was called a charming devil... But yeah, he'll need to tone everything else down around Reader. It'd be so funny.

Not that he'll let his princess escape the gilded cage of strings he spent his time weaving around her even after she sees the reality of the King of Dressrosa...

Maybe she sees him decapitate one of the dukes that got on his nerves? Maybe she hears how he snaps at Violet when she suggests Reader is a "spoiled princess" in an attempt to save her and Doflamingo grabs her by the throat and squeezes her neck and nearly breaks it from absolute rage.

"Yes, but that's how princesses are supposed to be. They can be like that because they have a strong king to protect them. Weak kings can't protect anything."

And then his guards catch his princess trying to flee the next night. How can she be so ungrateful and try to leave? He gave her everything! He wasn't even cruel! He was good with her!

Well, he knows the solution to that little escape attempt...

After all, kings can marry princesses, can't they...

And Dressrosa needs a queen. If she wants to keep his cruelty in check in court, perhaps she should just marry him... having her sit on his lap on his throne as he listens to the rabble of the dukes and whatnot would probably stay his fingers from twitching... His fingers would be too busy cradling her to do anything cruel.

Ugh, and maybe he always brings her pink roses or things she likes just as he always scoured for food for his mom... 😭😭😭 What if he always bends his knees and slouches his spine or sometimes when she is sitting in an armchair he squats to talk to her? What if he gets to finally talk about all the books he reads because Reader is such a great listener and the excitement on her face as she listens to him talk about the recent book he read makes him talk about it more just so he can have her smile all to himself... And then she reads a book she likes to him and he nearly falls asleep on her lap. His mother always read him books in Mariejois while little Doflamingo sat on her lap.

He'd be so protective of her, he wouldn't let her out of the palace unless he is with her or one of his executives. Beause when his mother left Mariejois, she got sick beause his father could not take care of her. His princess and his mother are both flowers that can only survive in the best garden, where they are tended to and spoiled by all the luxuries the world can provide. It's where they bloom the brightest.

Only in the garden of a god can flowers like his mother and Reader be safe and live life.

"Silly little thing... You won't last a day out there in that cruel, ruthless world. Stay here with your king."

Excuse me while I squeal and clutch at my heart. Prior yandere Doffy ask here.

Any time I hear "My princess," in any given context, all I see is this absolutely beautiful scene from The Mummy:

It just needs to be a fic, doesn't it? At the rate I'm falling for Doflamingo, it needs to be its own fic. Your prompt is spectacular, thank you so much for adding to the great simpening for the King of Dressrosa. The head in the lap, the reading to him as he slowly falls asleep: my heart can simply not take such sweetness and softness from the king.

This is so incredibly romantic, thank you for steering me in a direction I need to go in for it. There's so many things I want to write for this lanky man: the marine doctor in impel down, yandere Doffy, his Sapsorrow spinoff with Rosinante, kissing booth kisses, I love him. Send help.

[stromuprisahat]

Tsar Cotton and Tsaritsa Plums

or How a political union of progressive second Prince and a Living Saint could've turned into an agricultural disaster

While I don't ship it on personal level, I have to admit certain appeal of Nikolina. The idea of a well-meaning, patriotic Prince persuading a rising religious icon to help him save the country isn't half bad.

Today I won't focus on deficiencies of their general personalities or lacking relationship, but a specific hole in both their range of knowledge and its catastrophic impact on Ravka as a country and the land itself from ecological viewpoint.

Nikolai is presented as a genius engineer and a brilliant philanthropist. As soon as the civil war's over, he puts great effort into feeding Ravkan people instead of starving them.

“Faced with steel saw blades,” he whispered, brushing his hand over the new plow as he passed, as if it were a lucky talisman. He wasn’t sure why the blades were better, but when the plow had arrived, those were the words his father had proudly repeated to their neighbors, and Dima liked the strong sound of them. There had been long arguments at the kitchen table about the plow, along with all the king’s agricultural reforms and what trouble or hope they might bring.

King of Scars- Chapter 1

The thing is... his plans don't get overly specific. Even the quote above doesn't tell us more than that the miraculous plough consists of steel parts, and excuse me when I remember my history lessons, but upgrading horse-driven ploughs were a thing around the first half of 19th century. Fjerdans build working tanks. That's about a century of development further.

Ravka is a backwards starving hellhole feeding peasants rye bread with salted herring, when they lack workers for fields of the first, and access to sea for the later. The obvious solution? Potatoes, beetroot and turnips ("The night is dark and full of turnips."), ponds of freshwater fish for protein. Cabbages are good for vitamin C and as sauerkraut easy to store, legumes are also easy to grow, rich in iron and dried can be stored pretty easily for a long time etc. etc.. Just look up European peasant food!

That's how you feed them first.

Nikolai also intends to free the serfs.

By persuading their owners to grow cotton (link to that and some of those preferable crops).

In Ravka, a country of humid continental climate without larger water bodies, famous for snow-heavy winters and somehow also white nights as far as Os Alta...

His focus lies where it isn't merely of no use, but would drain already scarce water sources, devalue soil and produce nothing considerable in return. In addition it wouldn't help feeding the populace, and it sure as hell wouldn't improve their socio-economic situation.

How could his union with Alina make any of this worse you ask?

We're supposed to believe Alina is a peasant, raised in an orphanage, where she was expected to help with its everyday workings. Quite a win for a country such as Ravka you'd think, right?

Nope! She's more likely to pick a correct fork for snails, than a hoe.

Alina is a person, who believes plums in autumn had to come from a hothouse, but figs won't surprise her. I couldn't find a source stating plums truly require frost, but it's one of a few fruit trees normally capable to withstand -26°C (-40°C for some varieties). European plum also doesn't like temperatures above 35°C and too high humidity means fungal issues.

Alina never asks how come inland-bound country has salt-water fish, she just doesn't like to eat it. When she's confronted with possible need to take care of a larger amount of people, she simply orders others to feed them, not once stopping to ask herself how are they supposed to achieve it. She's the Saint. She tells others what to do, and stuff happens...

Now put these two together. One has some vague ideas about how nature works for him, the other is so used to full plate she doesn't even know foodstuff has to come from some place, least of all it might have various requirements.

By the time the mortal one's dead, Ravka is wrung dry in more than one sense. Cold desert wasteland, no Fold needed.

[caparrucia]

I read your post about the Dead Dove Do Not Eat tag, and how you think people should take more responsibility for their own experience in the fandom sphere, and I very much agree with the points you raised. I just have a question regarding this one:

" "But what if I read something that wasn't tagged X?" Well, that's very unfortunate for you, but if it is genuinely that upsetting, you have a responsibility to yourself to only browse things explicitly tagged to not include X."

So, when I'm writing fanfics, and putting them on Ao3, should I tag their lack of things they don't include? Like, none of my fics include self harm, because I'm not willing to read it and even less willing to write it, should I put "#no self harm" in there, for people who have a worse reaction to it than I do and are following your advice?

Not asking "is it a moral imperative" because I know it isn't, but is it something you think would actually help anybody?

So, let's talk about context, because like all great spats in Fandom, this is about context.

Tags are contextual. They're flags that are trying to bring a specific demographic to your fic. Or, conversely, keep a certain demographic away from your fic. Tags are also never comprehensive. It is impossible to tag a fic comprehensively, because there will always be more tags. You can tag for the food that appears, the clothes, the political framework taken for granted. You can tag for gender or sexuality of the characters, even if the story is not about that per se. (See the large number of people annoyed when you write trans characters in stories and don't advertise it widely, despite their genital configuration having anything to do with the story at hand. Hi, Pokemon fandom. No, I will never forgive you the harassment and transphobia.)

The wording in the post, I acknowledge, might appear very dramatic at first glance. But that's because it's responding to a very dramatic, very aggressive statement. The way that certain people weaponize their trauma to try and shut down art they do not like. "This triggered me!" Is a really shitty comment to get, as a writer. Because it's usually a trap. If you extend sympathy, you will quickly find that the person yelling at you about this doesn't want platitudes or commiseration or actual resources to manage their triggers. They want you to take your fic down and remove it from the world, because "it triggered them." They want to treat your fic like a dog with rabbies: putting it down is the only conceivable solution, and no amount of polite rebukes (or, let's face it, annoyed snarking) will get you anywhere. They are not having a conversation with you. They have deemed you responsible for doing them harm (your work triggered them, therefore you, personally, set out to trigger them) and they're not willing to take anything less but the obliteration of your work as restitution.

The response "lol, that's a you problem, if it's so bad, you have a personal responsibility to not read anything that isn't explicitly stated to not include the thing that triggers you" is very mean. I acknowledge that. But it's not a response that comes from community, it's a response that aims to communicate clearly and concisely that you're not available to entertain any kind of overwrought nonsense and that you're not available to be emotionally blackmailed into removing your work from circulation.

Triggers are like allergies. The people that have them have to manage them to their best of their ability, and the people who don't have those triggers could stand to do more to be accommodating, for sure. Current tag culture is in fact the result of years upon years of the Wild West Internet that us old farts are constantly talking about. See, in the old internet, there was no social expectation for tagging. You got a title, you got a rating (not always!), sometimes you got a pairing. Anything else was a roulette. Like literally anything. I used to be in FMA fandom way back before AO3 and tag culture was a thing and let me tell you, the amount of times I ended up mid-incest fic because the initial premise sounded like a cute brothers bonding scenario? More than once. There was no tag for incest. Someone threw a fic into an IRC channel with a generic "this one was good!" and it could be ANYTHING. Literally anything!

Here's where I disagree with a lot of The Olds who whine about The Old Days: the Old Days way of doing fic? Awful. Shitty. Traumatizing, legitimately. I love tag culture. I think tag culture is one of the nicest, most amazing things we as a fandom have come together to do. It gives so much freedom for the author to choose how much they want to spoil/warn form, and it also gives readers so much freedom of choice! It's a great system! Not a perfect one. No system is perfect. But it's a great compromise. I don't think people understand how utterly revolutionary the Archive Warnings are, in AO3. Just narrowing it down to those four! (Underage, Non-Con, Graphic Violence and Character death, for those uninitiated, as well as the opt out of Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings.) This system allows the most widespread triggers and preferences to be respected. If you don't like fic about people under 18 doing anything relationship related? Slap that Underage and the Choose Not To Warn archive warning in your exclude options and you're good. Same for non-con. Or Character death! The way the Archive is setup, this guarantees you will not see fic with that.

That's revolutionary! It's great! We should hype it more.

This is one of the reasons why I'm so testy about the Dead Dove tag. I know the ship has sailed, the tag has changed meaning and it is a completely different function now, than when it started. (This is also why I don't respond to the handful of people who insist that my history is wrong and the tag is useful actually! They're missing the point of the post and also I was there when the tag first came about. I'm in the reblogs of the original post.) The problem with Dead Dove is not itself, but that its a symptom of people - most commonly antis, but really, this isn't a group-specific behavior, stupidity is policy neutral - using tags not to find fic to read or to filter out fic they don't want to read, and instead using them to find people to harass. That endangers the whole system, because people stop using understandable, straightforward tags for their stuff and instead start making convoluted spaghetti tags that only make sense in-group to try and avoid getting caught in the harassment campaign. And that sucks! That kind of behavior should be publicized and blacklisted in fandom. Ostracize people who try to misuse categorization tools as weapons of abuse, and endanger the entire system in the process. Fuck them.

To your point, should you add "no self-harm" to your fic? I don't know! I don't know your fic. Does it make sense for you to add it? Do the rest of the tags in your fic paint a picture that might require that clarification? I think the underlying conversation is that people who fearmonger about their triggers and try to use their trauma to bully strangers on the internet are really very stupid. Most stories don't include a tag about self-harm because most stories don't include any self-harm at all. Same with sexual acts. Or crimes. Tags highlight content that might be expected based on the culture the fic is coming from. If you write fic for the alien incest show (Trigun) and your fic somehow doesn't have any aliens or incest in it, it would be worthwhile to tag it for it. Just because people might expect it! Or if you're writing about depression and spiraling and mental health crisis for a character but very specifically not about self-harm? Yeah, that'd make sense to highlight that.

Ultimately, as the author, you get to choose the tags you put in, and in doing so, you choose the audience you're targeting. This is where the triggers as allergies metaphor breaks though. Fanfic is not a necessity. It's a privilege. It's a gift writers give their fandom and no one in their fandom is entitled to it. That's why tags are optional. That's why you can still rawdog fic the way we used to, and read through "Chose not to warn" And all the stories that have a fandom and a pairing and a rating, and then nothing else. No one's life is being endangered, if they don't get to read any given fic. Does it suck to be excluded in a community space? Sure! But it's not life or death and treating it like such is the source of much of the headaches around this.

Fanfic is a gift. If you have very bad triggers, you have a responsibility to yourself to only accept gifts that are explicitly for you (tagged around your personal triggers). You can always ask, but an author is always entitled to decline to tag their work. And they're not being an asshole for it. Social media has poisoned people into seeing any interaction as a you vs them situation, but the truth is people are just trying to vibe.

[thegreatstoryteller]

Body Swap N’B

Welcome to Body Swan N’B! The premiere destination for all your body swap needs! We all know traveling can be hard. Booking flights, booking travel, and most importantly those outrageous prices. Don’t worry. We’re here with the solution! Why go to those snobby body swap hotels, when you can swap from the comfort of your own living room right into the amazing destination of our choice. Our list of thousands of home owners want YOU to take their body out for a spin from the comfort of THEIR own home. 

Choose between a collection of countless locations and individuals of your choosing. Want to cruise in the Caribbean as a local? Want to sample authentic Parisian cuisine as a refined food connoisseur? How about ride the Texan planes as a real cowboy!? All of that is possible and more with Body Swap N’B! Don’t believe us? Just listen to our satisfied customers

Reviews:

DisneyDad85: 2 out of 5 stars. 

My family and I were planning a trip to Disney and I wanted to find somewhere close to the park. The location was just as promised, a 3 bedroom with a great view. The bodies were not what I expected. I assumed when the listing described a “great way to enjoy the best parts of youth” that we’d be given some family friendly bodies. Not some local young men who were rooming together. I guess “young” is relative as my eldest boy found himself in the most mature body.  Being slightly overweight was new for him as he was always so nerdy and skinny. And as always, on his phone talking to his friends bragging about his new body. 

He loves being the oldest and eating whatever he wants without worry of food allergy. I told him that he wouldn’t like it if he had to worry about all that weight he’s putting on his new body later, but he doesn’t listen. 

Then there was my youngest! He loved the vintage aesthetic to the rooms we were given and he couldn’t stop playing with the phones there. 

He was certainly happy that he was tall enough to ride all the rides at the park, but I did not like how he was now able to consume all the alcohol at the various bars around the area. But being 6′7 and confident, it’s no like anyone would think to card him. Meanwhile I was now the only one of our party not old enough to drink only being 20 years old! Gosh… maybe I shouldn’t have snuck into that bar on the final day of the trip. I can’t believe I drunkenly renewed our vacation for next year! Still trying to contact customer support to discuss cancellation!

Overall good vacation, but just make sure you inquire about the bodies before making a big trip. I still feel just like the reckless 20 year old I was a few days ago. Almost like I’m still on vacation… maybe another trip will do us some good in the near future. 

AlwysABridesMaid: 3.5 out of 5 stars

So I like to imagine myself being very open minded when it comes to these swaps and vacations! I’ve tried out loads of these vacations with my girlfriends  and I when we did sorority parties in college! However, I’ve got to say this is the first time me AND my entire party ended up as ALL guys. Normally it wouldn’t be an issue as we love exploring new experiences and locations, but I don’t think my best friend the bride envisioned being surrounded by a bunch of hairy men during her wedding ceremony. That’s right every single one of her bridesmaids were now half a foot taller and a lot more manly than she expected. I’m mostly mad that I couldn’t fit into our tailor made dress. That being said, the wedding still went off without a hitch! We had so much fun doing spa days, bachelorette parties, and the actual day of wedding in our new bodies despite the small hiccup. 

Would I do this again? Definitely given a heads up about the party. But now that I’m intimately aware of some new male physiology I’d definitely like to try it again. The best man certainly wants to do some more exploration with me after last night. Anyway, has anyone ever heard of the so called “side effects” people keep referring to? The bridesmaids and I all found ourselves inside these book smart engineers and now I feel like my IQ is through the roof. All the girls and I can do at the nail salon is just gab about research papers, new theorems, and the latest technological marvels making the news!

WifeGuy88: 1 out of 5 stars

I swear I’m a feminist. Gotta get that out there before I say that I’m not sure my wife and I should do another of these trips. I heard that there used to be lots of safety procedures when it came to these swaps, but I recently heard that unlike Swap Hotels, they do not have to cover any kinds of safety or ethical costs associated with normal swapping. 

I’m getting ahead of myself. The reason I’m not jazzed about Body Swap N’ B is because… I was a bit jealous my wife was bigger than me…. I know we booked a room for a loving couple…. But I didn’t expect both pairs of that couple to be male. Being a former college athlete and finding myself in a 5 foot nothing twink was a big enough shock.

 But when my wife came stomping in from the other room as a big mass of hair and muscle… well let’s just say that weekend went very differently than I imagined… It all feels like such a blur…. And my ass is still sore…

But no! I’m leaving this as a warning. There are reviews saying your mind thinks differently after the swaps and that some people are claiming they are stuck in those bodies longer than they like! Also my girlfiend signed us up for another trip and due to their zero cancellation policy I know we’re gonna be there sooner than later if things go their way! Not that I mind…. I rather liked being thrown around by a larger man for a change… I’m sure it’s gonna be a lot of fun… but that doesn’t take away from the fact that this company can’t keep getting away with this. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find my wife some new male outfits that she wants to try for our next vacation. 

BenTheOrganizer: 5 out of 5 stars

Great for family reunions! 

Normally I was the one that plans all these big family events. Criticism here and there about this location being too hot, too cold, or too far. But hey! Finally got a family gathering we can get behind! Who would’ve thought that it was when my entire family were in the body of one of the biggest college fraternities in the state! Turns out aunt Marjorie doesn’t have time to comment on my lack of partner when she’s doing a keg stand while uncle Larry cheers her on. Turns out cousin Jeremiah can’t brag about making partner as his law firm when he can finally cut loose dancing to some music! Racist grandpa Marvin won’t be making any problematic remarks about minorities when he’s enjoying his big black body so much. And the younger second cousins aren’t nearly as annoying when you can share some beers with them while we all test out our new muscles in the frat’s personal gym. 

My parents were surprisingly the most into the idea. My mom and dad are some of the most heteronormative couples I know but it wasn’t 5 minutes before someone found them making out the frat house locker room. They kept saying it wasn’t gay if it was two bros, but I don’t think any amount of “No Homo” could save face there. Especially when they were caught a few hours later doing the same thing.

As for me… well maybe I put myself into the hottest guy there, the frat president, on purpose when I filled in the special requests portion.  But hey. I think I  deserve it for a job well done. In fact as I’m writing this review I’m still in his body! After all thanks to the “Extend your Stay” option, we were able to  extend our swap vacation for another 2 weeks.  Maybe if this continues going so well I can talk to the company about having us keep these bodies.  I don’t think my entire family can go back to their old lives when they are loving being loud, raucous, muscle heads every day of the week. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got another frat party to plan. Thanks Body Swap N’ B!

Body Swap And Breakfast is not liable for any lasting physical, mental or reality changes. Any long lasting development of new abilities or attributes that is shared with a previous swapped body please contact your doctor. Body Swap And Breakfast is not affiliated with Swap Hotel and its affiliates.

Book your Body Swap N’ B vacation with us today!

[nanami-is-nanamean]

hhhhhhhh i just got an amazing idea—foodie nanami but that also extends to his freakiness

WALK WITH ME HERE—

p sure that its a well known fandom hc that nanami is a massive foodie, yeah? loves sandwiches, garlic and oily stuff, and probably has a full kitchen set in his apartment. he knows what he wants in a dish and he can replicate that, his tastebuds will have nothing less but the best

heres the part where you have to stick with me here okay?

i have a certain philosophy with food where when i say i dont like something, i actually mean that i havent found a version of said food that suits my tastes/a good version of it. a good example is my personal beef with miso—theres a restaurant near my campus that has miso ramen and dear fucking god it was the most Mid Ramen ive ever had. despite that however, my mind was quickly changed back into liking it when i went to the other restaurant near my campus that has miso ramen—it was so good that i found the will to live again

i imagine that nanami would have the same principles—if he says he doesnt like tuna sandwiches, honestly he probably just had a conbini store sandwich and not a good club sandwich

now, you may ask—what in the actual fuck does this have to do with nanami being freaky, wynn?? IM GETTING THERE, THIS HAS A POINT, I SWEARRRRRRR

in the same way that nanami has very particular and exacting tastes for food, nanami would have very particular and exacting tastes for cum

yes. im saying that nanami only swallows if he likes the taste of the cum—i can see him internally cringing when the taste hits his tongue but is to polite and nice to ruin the moment by complaining about it, so he sensually dribbles it down his lips and onto the dick he just sucked—or if his partner for the night likes it rough, spitting it back out onto said dick

so i imagine on the first time nanami gives gojo a blowjob, the taste isnt exactly great—extremely bitter and salty, bringing to mind soggy McDonald's french fries and the sludge they called coffee back at his old workplace. of course, nanami spat it out with a few rough words and continued with their nightly romp. unfortunately for nanami, hes also really good at giving head, so now gojo is begging for nanami to put his mouth back on him and nanami has to figure out a solution lest he escape to a nunnery

little by little, nanami slowly influences gojos schedule and life—moving a few of the harder missions to other sorcerers and himself so that the man isn't so stressed and overworked, regretfully reducing the man's coffee intake by getting less coffee beans in their groceries, tricking the man into eating more fruit and veg, giving the two of them spa days, and generally just relaxing gojo and taking care of him

gojo, ofc, feels absolutely pampered and inlove—his doting boyfriend making sure he eats well, rests well, and lives well. hes frankly super impressed with how rested and how healthier and stronger he feels now that his diet isnt strictly lethal levels of coffee and sweets, and his nights arent 3 seconds of closing his eyes. he always makes sure to make it up to him whenever and however he can, be it in their normal regular lives, or in bed

meanwhile nanamis in the corner (or should i say between gojos legs), happily giving him head and swallowing his cum because his months long con of making gojos cum taste better has now been completed LMAO—and also i guess giving him a better life AHAHA

[sillywormz]

for the character ask game: 2, 4, 12, 23 for gi-hun!

YAYAYAYAYAYYYY YIPPEEEEE tysm for the ask! :D

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

ouugh like. everything. it's so hard to choose. ig it would ultimately be gihun's kindness and his belief in other people? even when he knows that other people can be brutal and cruel he still tries his best for them and that means so much to me. he's not necessarily the kindest person at the beginning of the show but it's something he grows into. he's also so cunning and great at thinking on his feet and that's a trait i admire so much

also although it isn't rlly a positive trait, i fucking love it when he's whiny and pathetic LOL. i missed that in s2. that little whiny drawl he gets in his voice in s1 when he's mad/confused/doesn't wanna do something is so good i love it so much

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

OUGH that's a hard one...... i feel like most of the media i'm into tends to be heavily on the sci-fi/fantasy end of things, unlike squid game which is more "realistic", so it's hard to imagine him really fitting in to other things i like? i guess in terms of au stuff though, doing a star trek au with squid game characters could be really fun imo :D i can imagine gihun being an engineer....... maybe he'd still be an ensign bc he doesn't have much career ambition and just enjoys mucking around lol (im projecting here). i think he'd be a very different person without the pressures of capitalism on him, probably a lot softer and happier than he is in canon :')

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

SO MANY. i am rotating that man in my mind constantly. obviously i think he is bisexual hehe. i also personally enjoy headcanoning him as having adhd and dyslexia....... the show doesn't get into it much but people around him seem to often view him as "slow", and i get the impression that he struggled academically at school. but he's also very witty and intelligent when it comes to thinking outside the box and innovating new solutions. the way that he sometimes seems a lil forgetful/easily distracted but also conversely can rlly focus in on things and dedicates all of his attention to smth to the point where he forgets to eat or sleep bc he's so focused........ yeah. adhd moment. dyslexic gihun has 0 canon backing but i just like it for some reason

also a little more sad/angsty, but i think he definitely struggles with chronic pain and disordered eating after competing in the games...... the disordered eating isn't motivated by appearances, but more so by the fact that he's constantly in a state of hypervigilance and bc of that he has no appetite and is often nauseous from anxiety. plus he often forgets to eat bc he's too focused on trying to find the recruiter in early s2, imo :( plus he has ptsd related issues around eating bc of the games and the final dinner he had with sangwoo and saebyeok that makes it harder. i think he's probably very skinny in s2 bc of it. i want to keep him in my house and make food for him grandma style until he's healthier again LOL.

regarding the chronic pain, i think he often gets migraines from stress and lack of sleep, but also he has a lot of injuries from the first games that never got treated properly and thus didn't heal that well. in general he just needs good food, a lot of sleep, and medical care imo :( all things which he has NOT been getting in s2. smh

23. Favorite picture of this character?

any pic where he's in the middle of eating and he's doing his stupid sad chipmunk face LOL. my pet gerbil he is very sick.........

+ the lethal puppy dog eyes.

+ UM. erm. no comment. i'm literally a lesbian but i would slap it

[balkanradfem]

Plant update! January 22

So, I have once again, fumbled sowing my early plants, this time in the opposite direction. Let me explain.

You see I count on myself to responsibly grow little transplants, because this is my primary source of food; I will plant them all in my garden, harvest and eat all summer, and then can them for winter, it's how I live. So. When my first little batch of plants seemed to not be doing great (seeds not coming out of the soil, seedlings becoming leggy) I reasonably concluded that if I don't get this in order immediately, I will not have plants to put in my garden this spring, and then I will have nothing to eat this summer, and then nothing to eat the next winter, and then while starving to death I will think 'this could have been avoided, if only I started more seeds on time :( '

So in my panic, I put double amount of seeds for germination in a plastic bag, and to my surprise, most of them germinated very quickly. And then, I noticed, the plants from my first sowing that seemed to not want to grow, also started coming out of the soil. And now I have an unreasonable amounts of seedlings in January! It's too early for this much!

I did not have fresh soil for this, so I had to find an old dead plant on my balcony to steal soil from; it's already-used soil so it's not ideal, but it's something. I have in the past attempted various mixes of soil; like bringing in some sand and mixing it with the forest soil, mixing new and used soil and sand on top of it, and you know what the result was? My plants were growing SLOWER in it. It was BAD. I learned this way that the absolute ideal soil was just pure forest soil, with nothing added or mixed in it. The plants just love the nutrients.

This is the dead pepper plant who got her soil stolen, and you can see the new germinated seeds in my palm!

These babies did get planted in secondary quality soil but, I will transplant them into better soil later on, seedlings can do fine with less nutrients at the start. I am asking myself already where will I keep all these plants and the answer is,,, I don't know,,, I'll need to turn to invention of space.

Next morning, funnily, even more seeds germinated, and even though I'm so happy to have all these pepper seedlings, I feel like I'm being made fun of. This is when you decide to have 90% germination rate? When I'm in January and making bad choices? Alright. To the second hand soil they go.

Now about the everything I had planted beforehand!

You remember how I told you I had a tomato illegally growing in a pot where I planted peppers? Well guess who showed up:

Peppers.

They're roommates now.

The little tomato seedling also started growing a first true leaf! It is so cute! And she's so fast about it, you'd think I planted her in perfect living conditions, which I have not.

My first dwarf tomato plants are out as well!

They're so tiny and precious, I am feeling a lot of adoration here.

Second sowing of broccoli plants has also come out, and look at this:

One of them is purple, and I wish I could explain that, but I genuinely don't know what's going on. When I grabbed those seeds from a plant I wrote down 'this is broccoli... maybe' on the seed packet, which means it could have been anything and I only had vague ideas about it being broccoli. And now one of them is purple. We will find out within this year what these plants are. I am confident they're brassicas though!

The basil is very shyly coming out:

It's not doing super well but it's there and that's all that matters.

And for the end, here are the plants that were growing illegally and I transplanted them!

The biggest one on the right seems to be doing just fine, looking great. The ones on the left have some of their leaves yellow and dry; this means they are struggling to get nutrients, and it probably is because I broke some of their roots. But as they're not withering or actively dying, I think they'll make it! I'll water them with some nettle infusion solution and this might give them an easier access to nutrients, and give them time to grow new roots.

This is the comparison, picture from the last update vs today:

You can see a lot of plants straightened up! I had to make another aluminum board to make sure all these new plants had good light, but it was a 3 minute project, and I'm pleased with how much used aluminum I had stashed. You can see most of the leggy plants managed to stand up and we'll see if they manage to recover! And it also means the new plants will not get leggy like the last batch did.

[bots-and-cons]

So this is my first time asking. Idk if u did any sorts of headcanons or anything like. But could u do where reader gets braces for the first time and are insecure, uncomfortable with them, and they kinda hurt.

Anything works, headcanons if you think fits best. Maybe Ratchet, Arcee, and Optimus.

Just their thoughts about it and what they will do to make the reader feel better.

And can the reader be female? Also, she is their charge?

I hope you have a great day/night ❤️

(If there are any grammar mistakes, it's because I'm dyslexic and sorry if there )

A/N: I remember back when I got braces, it sucked so bad at first. I haven’t had them in years now, but I still remember how annoying they were. I only do two characters for HCs nowadays, so I dropped Optimus

~Ratchet~

•Ratchet is always making sure you’re taking care of yourself, making sure you eat and drink enough and get enough sleep

•Cybertronians don’t have dentists, not separately from a medic anyway, if someone loses a piece of their dental plating a medic will help them

•But since your teeth grow and change unlike his, you need to visit the dentist every now and then

•Ratchet finds it to be one of the fascinating parts of humans, because how is everything about you so fragile, like even your teeth get cavities

•Honestly, you were pretty happy when you heard you were going to get braces, because you could finally get your teeth in order

•When you actually got the braces though, the first few weeks sucked

•Your mouth ached all the time and eating food was also a pain in the ass

•Ratchet wasn’t really sure how to help you, so he of course took to the internet to find some solutions

•Your speech was also a bit weird for the first couple of days, which Ratchet found a bit funny, but he didn’t say anything because he didn’t want you to feel like he was making fun of you

~Arcee~

•She’s kind of baffled by the fact that humans seem to be able to break any part of their body

•Even when it’s not your intention, like what do you mean your teeth get cavities

•And what in the name of Primus do you mean you put metal in your mouth to get your teeth straight?

•Like huh?

•She does note you sound a bit different after you got your braces, but it’s not like she’s making fun of you

•Arcee asks you if you’re in pain, many times over the first couple of weeks, like almost daily

•She doesn’t really know how to help, except to remind you to take some painkillers

•You also learn that eating sticky things life caramel and gum, can be really annoying when it sticks to your braces

•Arcee did chuckle at that when you had trouble speaking and opening your mouth properly for a moment when you made the mistake of eating bubblegum, but you found it kinda funny too to be honest

•She makes sure you never forget a dentist’s appointment and she always takes you to them