#.....i wish i could just sleep forever
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Mobile Tumblr US users spend an average of 4.04 minutes per session on the app.
Text
.
#i feel disgusting#i feel awful and bad and. helpless#and so very weak#.........i was doing well cleaning for a little while and now suddenly its like nothing mattered#ive been out of laundry for a week I've done laundry once in the last 2 months#showers take a week or even more#trash keeps piling up dishes take so long#and i just....sit here#.....it all hurts#......everything hurts so fucking much all the time and i do need help but#how the fuck do you ask a friend to do your laundry for you what the fuck kind of ask is that#............i feel so pathetic#im so tired.....#.....i wish i could just sleep forever
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
never in my life have i wanted a Daddy more than i do rn 😭
#personal#i'm going to ramble and drop it all in the tags#i'd like to have a pity party for myself thanks#the election?#fucked i've just been scrambling for a week now to prepare for the worst that feels like it's rapidly approaching#vaccines updated birth control bought out stockpile of food started passport appointments made tasers and protective gear purchased#banned books put on a wishlist#the holidays?#trying to make them enjoyable instead of so so so triggering#husband's new job?#barely home he's barely home i feel like a solo parent#i'm absolutely drowing at home mainly alone with two toddlers who have found their spirit and resilience and attitude...#the new house?#we've been fighting we are not vibing it's taking forever for me to feel in love with it#we do not get along rn lol#writing? personal time? self care? nonexistent i have no time alone during the day and then i spend the two hours i have to myself at night#fighting sleep and doing nothing#took a shower today and when i got out my eyelash line started burning and then my eyes were burning and then my nose was running and#then my eyes were watering and i could barely open them and goop started building and then they were SWOLLEN to the point where i could see#the muscles bulging and then i couldn't move them left or right#so i drove I DROVE myself to the urgent care#turns out my water has way too much chlorine in it and now that i've started taking hot as fuck and steamy showers it's just made me#susceptible to severe allergic reactions to chlorine?#it's been horrible my eyes are so sore now and they're just now not sopping in goop#and yeah#just...#i live the same day every day and i'm spiraling and drowning and about to go off the rails while also trying to SUCK THE JOY out of the las#month we have before democracy crumbles so#i just wish i had a Daddy to take care of me and tell me things are going to be okay 😭#preferably a Big Daddy that would let me sleep for days and would bring me food and let me hug and snuggle on him and not talk
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
goodnight
#going to sleep now#styes up to late#i dont want to tomorrow 😞#i wish i could sleep forever#everythings just dumb😞 for always
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so��#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
has anyone considered the fact that im the most tired boy in the world.
#chemi chats#just have to finish coloring this. just have to finish coloring this...#wish i could finish more art but ALAS!! its all half done sketches forever </3#wish i could finish more ANYTHING really i am eyeing my fic wips in the next tab over.#no voli the art. the art you're working on coloring. focus until completion please and thank you.#okay almost done. then afterwards sleep time babey. my hips are doing that thing where they are. bad!! lmao...#love seeing my mutuals hello my mutuals i love you im glad to see you <3#OKAY COLORING'S DONE. ITS DONE PROBABLY. i dont want to work on this anymore so its done now.#it would look better with a dark background but i'd have to refix all the colors and aurghhh. whateber!!#alt text and tags left okayyyy signing off on this post now o7
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
(okay, I don't want this website to stay broken and struggle under big daddy apple's boots, so I thought i'd see if they had any goodies for decorating my blog that I liked... and oh my god the moon badge is neat and the little bone guy is so cute. I guess i'll finally retire the funny checkmarks because they ruin THE VIBE of moonbones)
#I am a sucker for cute decoration so yeah i'll buy that#I do wish we could have animated avatars again (again right?)#i'm not losing my mind they used to be able to animate right?#that could be a tumblr sub perk tho#do it kinda like discord nitro I guess#I really recall being able to have an animated icon but maybe i'm thinking of deviant art#I had my pixel chibi that painted bees made for me as my main blog icon forever and recall it animating#anyway i'd have (NAME REDACTED FOX) animate if I could#maybe discord nitro's sub plan is something worth looking at idk#anyway I just wanted to say MOONBONES is cute#I will go draw now#i've got a couple of asks in my inbox too#will get to them shortly#I already flipped my sleep schedule back around#be proud of me I work so hard to make my sleep behave
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i don't want to see 2025.#i don't want to experience any of it. every year is the same and it's all going to end badly because it's never ended well#what's the point. nothing will ever actually make me happy im just going to get worse and worse and sadder and sadder#im just going to spiral inwards forever over nothing and one day it'll finally be enough to kill me#im so tired of this. im so tired in general. i can't sleep and i can't be awake and every moment is painful and exhausting.#wish i could just curl up and die
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think if i continue to be sick i'll go insane. Oh please let having a horrible end to 2024 mean that 2025 will be good
#honestly most of this year has been pretty okay. i just feel like shit this whole past month#summer 2024 and december 2024 worst. october and november were best.#i dont trust myself or the world enough to believe i'll be able to live a good life away from this house#im so sick and depressed and just. odd in the head. not sleeping much. partially due to the fact i can barely breathe bc of my fucking sinus#oh who am i kidding. having trump in office when im 19 trying to find my footing in the world is gonna suck total ass. not to mention im#pretty much directionless. i cant drive and i dont want to either. i want to go back to carolina i wish i could buy a camper and live there#with jonny and my cats forever just parked there.#unfortunately thats not how things work
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
wailing at the sky I'm tired ! ! ! ! ! !
#just me hi#ik i'm testy rn and i should take a nap but ouuhhrrr#consistently on drives i've been just. dropping energy like nothing#like on the way to wherever i'm good i'm floating it's great. but then on the way back it's just. Bleugh kfshv#and then my legs get tired cuz i can't stretch !! i'm dyinggg out here#hate being tired. hate being sleepy. wish i could banish the neepy forever tbh#however the awesome embrace of sleep is pretty good so i guess it's a trade i'll have to be content with. sigh#wah. blah. bloo. ouhrr#//anyway let me tell you abt smth really nice now hfhvbsh :>#so i was just sitting down last night doing.. smth i don't rember lol and my youngest siblings come over like ':3 we have something for you#which is immediately suspicious and i was measuring the level of child-safe violence they were going to be subjected to lmao; but i asked#what it was and they handed me this little paper bag full of little bracelets and beads and hair clippies ????#and the bag said 'we appreciate your existence' And had oath's little symbol on the front dude are you KIDDING ME#if it wasn't for the fact i did not want to scare them i would have cried. it was very very sweet and i wish i wasn't so flat irl kfvshg#there were 2 bracelets n one of them says 'space buddy' (tears in funkin eyes) and the other one says 'pink space'#'pink space' has the 'ace' part highlighted Do You Understand What They've Done To Me#dude. dude. [<- big wet eyeballs staring at the horizon]#i need to like. hbwauhhhhhhhh#i love them so ??? i need to explode them asap lmfshvg#/anyway putting this here cuz i don't wanna forget kfhghfs#i don't think leo reads these tags so Lmaoo 💥 get 'Unknowing of Things'ed loser#//okey i'm gonna go melt into a puddle of ice cream now#oouuuu here i go... toodles lol :3
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Desire to escape reality is getting stronger with each passing day.
#venting#reality is overrated#dissociation#wish I could just sleep forever#lucid dreaming#depression#overwhelmed
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#having an awful awful horrible really awful week#partner of four years and I broke up I guess??#i don’t even know how to process I thought we were going to be together forever#it’s fire when I breathe and I can’t sleep#I still have to go to work and go about life regularly and everyone treats it like just another day#I have no friends and am so depressed#why did this have to happen I was so happy with him#I’m actually heartbroken and do not know how to cope#worst week of my job also like why couldn’t it have waited#I don’t know what to do#just me and my dog now I guess#we still live together but he hasn’t talked to me yet#I wish I could be everything he wanted and needed
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#sometimes i find the degree to which i cannot concentrate very alarming#like bro i canno read. i have so much to do but i wanna sleep forever#i just have to get up and go somewhere else. normally id go transfer algae or run but im stuck inside and .y fingers r all cold#usually its just in the morning that I get thr high distress so its prob the meds#but yesterday was kinda fucked. ugh.i just need to run around but i cant#i have such a sinister combo of: brain stops me from being able to b productive and if im not productive i am compelled to do horrible#things. mood issues and 0cd is horrible. horrible feedback loop#i just wish i could breathe. itll b fine. eventually itll b summer again and itll b fine#its like someone's squeezing my throat. like im sick but i kno its just that im anxious#i was doing so well the past few days in terms of reading and productivity despite the distress#and im trying to b kind and roll with the punches but its so hard#like i kno i need to relax and not resist bc resistance makes it worse but it's just hard and im worried this is how itll always b#i wish i could go back on lamicta1. i felt way better on low dose of that then i do on low dose of abi1ify. its so hard to stay on this#just bc of how my head works. and like things were complicated with the lamicta1. maybe i wouldnt habe had a reaction if i didnt get a#tatto0 while upping the dose but now im marked as allergic so i prob wont b allowed to try any of thr anti convulsive type antidepressants#ugh. i hate this. its so frustrating#unrelated
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
It’s hard being a sleepy boy in this Be Productive 24/7 Or Eat Shit And Die world
#vent in the tags#I wish I had the energy to stay awake as long as everybody else#I wish I didn’t have to take naps either#I wish I could sleep 8 hours straight and not fucked up choppy 3-4 hour intervals#I wish I wasn’t so tired all the damn time#*someone interrupts my nap just as I’m finally falling asleep* ‘whatever you have all night to sleep’#no the fuck I don’t 😭#I do my homework well into the night and then it takes forever to fall asleep and then I wake up a couple hours later anyway#and wait until I’m sleepy again and pray I can get some more sleep before my alarm goes off#I got like 3 hours total the other night and was a zombie throughout the day#I’m not lazy I’m perpetually exhausted jfc no wonder I’m so moody all the damn time
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
its always "i need more"
and never
thankyou for giving me more than you already had
#im just so fucking tired of everything and i wish i could sleep forever#or atleast a few months or smth#i dont know what im doing anymore#jpe.txt#tw sui ideation#my work#poems and quotes#dark poetry#poems on tumblr#poemsbyme#poets corner#prose poetry#dark acadamia#actually bpd#bpd vent
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm sad and lonely and burnt out and exhausted and too tired but slept too much and I need to be alone because my social battery is in the negatives but if I'm alone I'll just cry myself sick but maybe I need to. I want to be taken care of but I need independence so badly and being dependent on others is stressing me out so badly. I want to be alone but I want to have safety and security. I want quiet and time to exist by myself but I don't know if I'll ever have that again. I don't know if I deserve it. I'm so tired. I wish I could sleep until Monday. I wish I could sleep until October. November. Next year. I wish I could sleep until it's all over. I wish I could sleep until things get better. I wish I didn't have to do the work to fix them. I wish it wasn't the consequence of my slipping and making mistakes. I wish I had room to make mistakes without losing all my progress. I wish I was okay. I wish life didn't hurt. I wish I could be alone. I wish I could recover. I know I never will.
#i haven't even had my first shift at work yet and I already want to quit#I'm too tired. i can't.#i wish i could just sleep forever.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
playing this new survival horror game called “being alone in the house with your father for 4 hours”
#cicada screams#my mom is taking my sibling to summer camp that’s like 2 hours away so it’s just me and Him#doesn’t help that I feel sick and still agitated from this morning#hhhh. I wish I could just sleep forever. that’s really the only good solution at this point
2 notes
·
View notes