#but im having a good time in this moment
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in the throes of absolute mental breakdown but at least im experiencing something good in this moment
#sitting by my open window while it rains outside#drinking nozeco and reading fic for the first time in a while#found an untapped goldmine of fics abt b1 battledroids from star wars#and i love those lil guys#like yeah ive been feeling awful#and the self harm has been insane#but im having a good time in this moment#im still sober#im going to be okay#or at least i am right now#ol.txt
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I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#today was….not good#and at one point i had a moment#where i was just unbearably SAD and LONELY because i didn’t have anyone to call or talk to about it#but im still really hopeful it will happen some day#because all i want in this world is to feel secure#and for others to feel secure around me#and for everyone to feel secure around people they love#because it’s so painful and scary when you don’t#but one day im going to be warm and happy in someone’s arms and will barely remember this at all#im manifesting it#im completely okay btw things just got a little rough#and in the incredibly stressful and dramatic times i was experiencing my brain STILL had to be gay#im gay and i like sleeping#also yeah i said i wouldnt post after midnight again like two days ago but whatever#im sad and want to yearn on the internet we can make an exception tonight
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the trials and tribulations of dating cross country and season
#my art#sasosaku#based same age au#sakura haruno#sasori#they should move these to spring/fall or simply not leave the house#i have drawn sasori freezing pose like 10 times. and i will do it an 11th time. who can stop me#this was supposed to be a comic but im out of time : (#kurtas and thobes are so good against the heat. sunans would absolutely wear them.#what they wear canonically is already a very simplified thobe#meanwhile konohans will not miss a chance to serve a fashion moment
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bound to want (part two) /// part one rest of pages under READ MORE after ID
[ID: 23 page digital comic of Vashwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic is in a limited palette of a dark blue, light pink, white, black, and a light beige color for Vash's skin and a mid-brown color for Wolfwood's. This comic is the second part to "Bound to Want" and is spoiler-free. The first part is linked here.
It begins with a panel close up of Vash's expressions. The sky colored in dark blue can be seen behind him. He has a neutral expression, but he holds a slight frown and the reflection of his glasses covers one side of his eyes. Wolfwood says, "Hey. What's with the distance?" In the second panel, the shot widens to show both of them, a clear physical distance separating them with Wolfwood walking ahead and Vash trailing a little behind. Vash responds, "What? I'm just walking a bit slower today..." Wolfwood looks at him with a an irritated expression, clicking his tongue. Wolfwood says, "I was going to wait for you to start... But yer just running away away."
Vash is seen looking away, unable to hold eye contact with Wolfwood as he continues, "You've been avoiding me since that night. Did ya think I wouldn't notice? It's about that dream, right? Tell me about it already if you're going to be moping like this." Vash looks slightly downwards, his brows furrowing and he starts to walk ahead of Wolfwood without looking at him and responds stiffly, "I really don't want to talk about it..." Wolfwood looks at him with a surprised expression, but doesn't probe.
A panel close up to Wolfwood's eyes as he watches Vash go on ahead before he follows suite with an irritated sigh. The panels are overlapped by Wolfwood's hand holding the bottle of the Bride with motion lines, indicating a transition in time.
A wide shot of Vash and Wolfwood in a room now. Vash is seated, his back turned away from the viewer, while Wolfwood's body faces the viewer with his eyes looking towards Vash. He rests the bottle of the Bride on the table with a "clack" and his other hand holds two shotglasses. The background is coated in a light pink.
A panel shows a close up of Wolfwood's face, his eyes looking downwards to Vash as he says, "Let's drink." Next to this panel is Vash looking up at Wolfwood, his brows furrowed and a slight frown. The bottom half of the page is a wider shot with Vash's body turned away from the viewer as he says, "I'm not going to talk about it." Wolfwood responds, "You don't have to." as he sits down.
A wide panel of Wolfwood holding the shotglass, pouring in the drink as he continues, "I'll talk." The next panel is a profile view of Wolfwood, his eyes looking down at the now filled shotglass as he continues to say, "You're..."
"... upset with me." Vash can be seen next to this speech bubble with narrowed eyes, looking towards Wolfwood. The panels are all coated in with a dark blue background. Wolfwood continues, "I can't be certain why since yer not telling me a thing -- but it's probably... my bad." The panels show Wolfwood about to bring the shotglass to his mouth but he turns way as he continued to speak, his eyes not on Vash. The bottom page shows him looking away completely with a guilty expression as he says, "I'm sorry.
If you can ever tell me why, I can try and adjust to make it more bearable. But if you're just trying to get rid of me--" The panels follow Wolfwood's certain expression as he says this, "I don't intend to leave you. I can't... and I won't." A panel shows Vash's wide-eyed expression, surprised upon hearing this, and then his eyes soften as Wolfwood again concludes with, "I'm sorry."
Vash's inner thoughts begins, a boxed speech at the center of the page and panels of his eyes, his brows furrowing again and a resigned, but frustrated expression. His thoughts starts, "Stop. I shouldn't be happy hearing that. And why are you apologizing? I should be the one to..! I can't let anything like that happen to you. You deserve to live a long steady and peaceful life. I want to be optimistic. I want to protect you, but I might end up doing the opposite." The text surrounds Wolfwood from Vash's perspective, the other man drinking out of his shotglass, his eyes downcasted.
"I shouldn't have you. And you won't leave." Behind these text is a panel of Wolfwood's eyes finally looking over to Vash. Vash's thoughts continues, "It's so unfair." When Wolfwood sees Vash, his eyes soften and he frowns. The last panel shows the lower half of Vash's face, but tears begins to flow down his cheek. Wolfwood's hand is already reaching to wipe at them as he starts to say, "You know..."
A wider shot of Vash and Wolfwood, Vash slightly leaning forward with his mouth tightly shut, and tears steadily continuing to flow out of his closed eyes. Wolfwood continues to wipe at them with his hand as he continues, "This isn't a dream anymore. I don't know what you saw for you to be this shaken up, but whatever happened, you'll overcome it, right? If not you, I'm here too. You'll be okay, Spikey. So..." Wolfwood's expression grows more tender, "Have a little faith in me... and come back already." The dark blue starts to fade.
The wide panel has the dark blue background faded and replaced is the light pink. It shows Vash in full up to his shoulders, his eyes are still tears littered, but there's light in them as he says, "Wolfwood..." making eye contact with the other. The next panel shows Wolfwood's tender expression, his eyes and brows fully soften and he has a small smile on his lips, finally seeing the other return a level of sincerity with him.
The next panel shows the bottom half of Wolfwood's face and his hand is offered towards Vash for a dance as he says, "C'mon. We don't have to talk, but this is okay, right?" The background is now white and a ribbon flowing across the page separates this panel from the next sequence. Vash's inner thoughts continus, "I've spent too long avoiding this. It's scary to want after I've taken so much from others." A sequence close up of their hands is shown, with Wolfwood's outstretched hand on the right and Vash's reaching hand on the left. Vash gently places his hand in Wolfwood and at the bottom, Wolfwood wraps his fingers across Vash's.
Throughout the page, a dark blue ribbon starts to flow around the both of them with confetti raining alongside the effect. Vash and Wolfwood are hand and hand, dancing together with Wolfwood as the lead. The viewer can see a peak of Vash's expression, full of fondness but also a hint of sorrow as he looks down at Wolfwood. His inner thoughts continue, "I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. But why is that even though I have these burdens, I still want to love you. I still want you to be by my side."
With a close up of their mouths, Vash's thoughts continue, the text covering his mouth, "Wolfwood, I--" Wolfwood's speech bubble covers Vash's text as he completes his sentence, "want you." Vash's eyes widen for one panel and in the next, his eyes spark, a blush appearing on his cheek and the confetti flows and spark. Tears ease up on his eyes again.
"Want me too already, Spikey." Wolfwood has leaned in enough to rest his head against Vash, a hand of his on Vash's neck, holding his nape and another hand pressed gently against his back. A ribbon separates this panel from the next, a mix of confetti flows across the page, as Vash envelopes Wolfwood in a hug too, holding him and his hand gripping tightly onto his back.
This page is just the ribbon flowly throughout the page on the white background, one white ribbon and the other a dark blue. Near the bottom, the ribbon envelopes each other in a loop. A conversation of Vash and Wolfwood is held over these ribbons, Vash starting to say, "What if I hurt you? What if you..?" Wolfwood responds, "You? How could you hurt me?" Vash, "You know what I mean... You see it everyday..." Wolfwood responds, "If you think I'm going to kick the bucket so easily, I suggest you look at me more closely from now on, idiot. I'm not that easy to get rid of."
The next page has the ribbon criss cross over the top of the page. Vash and Wolfwood can be seen in their dancing position again, Wolfwood now resting a hand on Vash's shoulder, as Vash takes the lead. Vash continues, "Well, I know that... I tried." Wolfwood responds, "But you won't anymore... since you want me... around, yeah?" Wolfwood's head cocks to the side, smiling with assurance, cheeks flushed. Vash looks at him with a wide smile and fond, loving eyes. The confetti flows across the bottom of this page and as it eases into the next page, it starts to disappear.
Vash responds, ".. Yeah... I do..." as he pulls Wolfwood into a hug again. Wolfwood says, "Not going to run away anymore, are you?" Vash says, "No... I trust you." A panel shows Wolfwood's turning away slightly with a shy expression, muttering "Geez..."
In a more simplified style, Wolfwood is seen gripping Vash's cheeks now with his hand, "Though... You do remember you avoided me for two weeks straight, right? How are you going to make that up to me?" Wolfwood asks. Vash responds with eyes closed and a pucker of his lips. A vein of irritation appears on Wolfwood's face. Wolfwood starts to squeeze at Vash's cheek with both hands, shouting, "Now that you've recovered, you're trying to be funny, huh?!" Vash says through the squished cheeks, "I'm just happy..."
The next page opens with a closed up panel of Vash's widen eye as Wolfwood's hand moves from squishing his cheeks to gently holding them and Wolfwood leans in. The inner thoughts starts again, "There's a chance I'm not making the right choice... My dreams, my fears of losing you, it will never go away. But you said you won't let it happen... And I want to hang onto your words closely this time. After all, if it's anyone who can make me believe, it's you." The white ribbon from previous pages flows across the page and it visibly ends at the bottom of the page, enclosing the two of them as they share a gentle kiss with Vash holding Wolfwood's face, a tear in his eye.
The next pages starts with Wolfwood saying, "You cryin' again?" Vash responds, "I'm just grateful..." Wolfwood responds, "But you've always had me." Vash responds, "Being like this is different from staring at you from behind all the time though..." The two can be seen together again, Wolfwood pressing his elbows against the table with Vash leaning over him. Wolfwood is easing the tears out of Vash's eye again, just like earlier. A close panel of Vash's fond expression is seen as he says, "Thank you, Wolfwood." Wolfwood looks up at him with a small smile, gentle eyes. Confetti starts to flow lightly across the page as text starts to appear against the white background, "I'm the one who's grateful...
That you'd embrace someone like me, when I'm not fit to hold you in the first place... But I know better than to hesitate. The moment I acknowledged it, I knew I'd spend the rest of my life loving you. So, have as much of me as you want, Vash."
The final page shows the confetti gently falling down the page and at the bottom shows Vash and Wolfwood pressing their foreheads together, Wolfwood's hands cupping the side of Vash's face gently, and both of them smiling brightly with each other. ID END]
#vashwood#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#its done.... after 2 months.... collapses on the ground#theres a lot of things i would prob change about this but. its so sappy that it makes me a little happy where it ended up#they deserve a little sap too!!! and in the end this is the closest they could get to a first confession#through want! want in each other's life and company since they both have this strained relationship with keeping people permanent in their#lives... and the people or things that are tied to them in the long term tend to be something that harms them.#and as the saying goes -- good things never last! and im sure they prob gave up trying to find a good thing for a long time#vash managed to be found after the moon accident and got his good thing for a bit but even he prob knew itd come to an end eventually#ironically it was wolfwood that ended it. but he really just planted smth new for vash... and now they have some security#or at least vash does. or at least just for this one moment#a moment of bliss and feeling like they are deserving of love is so Fluctuating for vashwood#and ultimately i think wolfwood could only push onwards to initiate because he sensed there was smth vash wanted. and its just#naturally in wolfwood to give to those that he love#but anyway anyway.... i like to think in a sweet universe -- they had the chance to confess like this and got a little bit of time to#enjoy and share their company in this manner. to be a little less restrained and love each other freely#ruporas art
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Trust and belief and trust and belief and trust and belief and-
#Hajime hinata#Fuyuhiko kuzuryu#Sdr2#Super danganronpa 2#Danganronpa 2#Danganronpa#Kuzuhina#God I'm so emotions these past days what is happening#Anyway here's comfort! For all the recent hurt hehe sry#Also I got inspired by my OWN art#From being papanorth. Which was specifically like ... different responses to different traumas#And a recent post about being patient and kind vs being passionate and reaffirming#An art#ANYWAY I have feelings and emotions sometimes! It's good times#It's a bit late but im posting anyway while my mood is high#Oh I forgot to include my own thoughts#Fuyuhiko is suspicious and assumes every unexpected touch is hostile. Except... hes learning not to.#Hajime has moments where he goes away for a bit and cant really engage with people. But... hes finding ways to ground himself as himself.
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"shipping saiki is aphobic because he's aroace!"
stares at you with my demiromantic asexual in a committed relationship eyes then looks at the camera like im in the office
#good thing those folks have yet to find their way into my inbox or id be at risk of embarrassing myself lol#if you wanna see more of the content you prefer...make it yourself :3 MAKE IT YOUR FUCKING SELF lol#youre so attached to the idea youll complain about it but you refuse to do anything about it even create works that you and others will sur#ly enjoy how does this even make sense#sorry for reviving this from the dead when it blessfully hasnt been a thing in the tag for a hot moment but im still irritated hahahah#seriously you know what that screams to me? virtue signalling. you wont do anything except say a few words every now and again like#the motivation starts and ends at appealing to the popular opinion. earn your brownie points. and do nothing.#what is your care made of? thoughts and prayers?#every time ive asked one of these people why they dont make the content themselves the response has been 'i shouldnt have to lol'#you shouldnt have to bully people either with your aphobic BS but look at you! aw~#yall dont wanna commit to shit you just want to tell other people how they should exist.#if you cant create for whatever reason you better be ready and willing to drop your rec list and fave artists. and i sure as shit hope your#complimenting them thoroughly.
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no really ALL im saying is if aziraphale was infront of ME and me only and even gave me a smallest amount of attention i would've already confessed right there. wouldn't have taken me 5 minutes let alone 6000 YEARS. nuh uh. especially if he slutted me out while dressed like THAT in 1793 or rizzed me up in 1941. i may be oblivious but im not dumb as fuck and i would've taken THE FUCKING HINT. unlike SOMEONE. ugh if only i was in crowley's place this shitshow wouldn't have taken more than aziraphale's eyelashes to flutter once and i'm done for the wedding is already in full swing oh lookie here a priest appeared completely out of nowhere how odd how mysterious!! anyway we must not waste this opportunity let's just get over w it for completely normal regular reasons YEP!! nothing to see here just a perfectly regular every day wedding !! like come on man atp u gotta blame urself for wasting opportunities like that
#lets all be completely absolutely dead fr rn. if aziraphale smiled at YOU and complimented YOUR stars u would've fallen ass over heels in#love too dont deny it now#just SOME OF US would actually do something abt that shit rather than sigh and yearn and crave and whatever tf that simp ass got up to#im joking btw but COME ON he's soo pretty i wouldn't have been strong enough to wait any time at all#im reading a fic where everyone is under a love spell over aziraphale and fall immediately in love w him the moment they look at him and im#just now realizing that's unironically how i'd act around him if he was real and that's embarrassing as shit#good omens#good omens s2#azicrow#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable spouses#aziracrow
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im so Normal. totally not shaking and crying rn
#its nice to be this excited about something again! to the point of nausea!#and i Mean That#this is the good kinda stress. tis a welcome break from the usual brands#all week i've been having moments of 'ohhhh god New Information Incoming' and i have to sit down every time#and measure my breathing to chill tf out#is this unhealthy! maybe! i am trying to keep it Contained!! tightly leashed if you will#BUT OH FUCK ITS ALMOST HERE AGH AGH AGH#absolutely unprompted#welcome home#i will probably be unable to discover secrets bc i am bad with computers and the like#but hey! ill try!#if there's like... a spoiler tag yall want from me ill make sure to tag any Update Posts with it#then again wh is a unique scenario of like... Are there spoilers#bc it feels like a 'a couple people uncover stuff and then show/tell the rest' thing#but what would i know! this is kinda the first update!#LETS GO GAMERS I HOPE THE NEW STUFF IS TRAUMATIZING FOR BOTH US AND THE CHARACTERS#alright im getting to excited again im gonna go lay down#gonna be refreshing pages every ten seconds even when its completely illogical and meaningless to do so
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Ok well i had the brief thought “what about an ER nurse Eddie au?” and then this popped fully formed into existence so fuck it Friday pt 2.. warnings for smoking and vague references to critically injured kids
“That doesn’t seem very healthy.”
Smoke curls up from the cigarette held loosely in Eddie’s hand. “It’s not, particularly.”
Buck’s hands are in his pockets as he strolls away from the glass doors out into the ambulance bay where Eddie is doing the mature, professional equivalent of playing hide and seek. He comes to a stop barely a foot or two away from where Eddie leans against grimy concrete. “Didn’t know you were a smoker.”
“I’m not,” Eddie sighs, “Particularly.” He looks over Buck’s face as he takes a drag, cataloging bruises and cuts. He hadn’t been the one to look him over before he was discharged, probably because he was out here avoiding having to do so. “Only when it’s- only after the bad shifts.” And only once a month, even if the bad shifts come again and again. He bought this pack in January, it’s stale as shit.
Buck’s eyes follow the smoke as it drifts skyward. “Rough one today?”
Eddie thinks he probably doesn’t have to explain to Buck that it’s sometimes better when a kid is dead on arrival so he doesn’t have to try his best to administer care he knows will be useless. He doesn’t have to explain a day where nothing goes right and he loses more people than he can save and he still has to walk away from someone’s parent or wife or sister, left behind forever in a waiting room on the worst day of their life, and go on to lose the next person too. Doesn’t have to explain why he’s out here, and not in there. “Mm. We’ve got this repeat customer, always hate to have him back.”
Buck’s eyes flick to his face before they settle somewhere around his elbow. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. He seems like a nice guy. I worry about him. He’s here too often.”
Buck doesn’t look up. “What was he in for this time?”
“Minor concussion. Bruising. Lacerations.” Eddie sucks cancer into his lungs. “Heard a house fell on him.” Exhales it into the night.
Buck does look up this time, eyes a darker blue out here in the shadows. “Part of a house. Just a staircase and the- like, the balcony, really.”
“Maybe he should stay away from those.”
“From houses?” Buck asks, half his mouth twitching into a smile.
Eddie rests his head on the wall behind him. “Guess that’s not really practical.”
“No.” Buck is quiet for a moment, one hand slipping out of his pocket and running through his hair. Eddie wonders what he looks like, when he’s not here. He’s more styled, sometimes, when things aren’t very bad. He wonders if he’s usually all gelled up and neat. Eddie kind of likes the loose curls. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Making your day worse.” Buck looks genuinely apologetic, and Eddie shakes his head.
“The guy made it out okay this time.” Buck is just close enough that Eddie can kick at his boot with his sensible orthopedic sneaker. “You didn’t even need stitches.”
“That’s good.” Eddie’s left foot is pressed along the inside of Buck’s right, and Buck is staring down at them. “His favorite nurse was on break. I would have missed you if someone else had to do them.”
Eddie laughs, just a few bursts of soundless oxygen. “You gotta find new ways to see me before something happens that I can’t fix.”
Buck moves, taking the few steps necessary to lean against the wall beside him. Carefully, he takes the cigarette from Eddie’s hand, holds it between two of his own fingers, and takes a drag. Eddie watches it happen like he’s monitoring somebody’s pulse ox, and when Buck coughs he laughs again, louder this time. “Fuck,” Buck says, laughing too. “Thought that would be cooler than it was.”
“Smoking isn’t cool, firefighter Buckley,” Eddie says, taking the cigarette back and pulling from it again between smiling lips.
“Hm,” Buck says, grinning out into the night. Then he sighs, and rolls his head along the concrete to look at Eddie. “I think there’s nothing you can’t fix.”
They’re very close. “There’s lots I can’t fix.”
Buck shrugs like he disagrees. “I also think I’d like to find other ways to see you.”
Buck’s eyes are even more in shadow at this angle, and they’re the color of the lake back in El Paso that he and a bunch of kids went to after graduation, drunk off beer somebody’s cousin got for them, skinny dipping with breathless terrified delight under bright constellations. “Then ask me.”
Buck inhales as Eddie exhales. “What time’s your shift end?”
“5:30 AM. So, probably 6:15.”
Buck traces the two fingers he’d used to hold the cigarette down Eddie’s arm. “You wanna get breakfast with me?”
“Yes. I would.”
Buck smiles, and Eddie snubs out the cigarette on the wall between them. “I’ll meet you here?”
“Alright.” He takes a step forward, then a step to the right so he’s standing in front of Buck. “Two hours.”
“Uh huh.”
He should really get back inside. They’re understaffed, as always, and there are too many patients, as always, and not enough beds, as always. “See you then.” He doesn’t make any move to leave.
“See you then,” Buck almost whispers. He leans forward, and Eddie still doesn’t move, so he presses a tiny kiss to the corner of his mouth for just a moment. His lips are warm. Eddie hadn’t noticed it was cold outside.
Buck pulls back and leans against the wall again. Eddie smiles, puts a hand in his pocket, and walks back toward the doors.
#my writing#fuck it Friday#i swear I’m going to finish trapped buck and Chris and work on proposal fic before i work on this more#but it would be a bunch of glimpses of Buck’s various hospital trips from Eddie’s nurse perspective#and maybe shuffle some events around? like maybe eddie still gets shot but by a disgruntled former patient this time and#so he does a stint in the maternity ward and buck shows up there#and Eddie is like you’re having a kid?#and bucks like no my sister is what are you doing here#and when buck gets the story he’s like fuck. shit. im sorry i wasnt there#and eddies like picturing seeing buck in that moment of violence and says im glad you weren’t#also Eddie could still be the one who restarts his heart after the lightning strike#this bit is maybe the last scene actually sorry for posting the end first#have a good breakfast boys#buddie#evan Buckley#eddie diaz#911 abc
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theres just so much comedy potential for twst ships to go on double date hang outs.... leomal (malleo?) + kalisil go to the beach or something. kalims burying silver in the sand while leona and malleus try to drown each other in the ocean :^)
#twst#kalim al asim#silver twst#leona kingscholar#malleus draconia#kalisil#malleo#silkali#twisted wonderland#cereal tries to draw#for every tag i add to a post that isnt just me yapping i fear i will be . killed.#drawing leona is so fun i love a good hater moment#i think maleus and leona arent even dating [yet] in this scenario#they just kinda got roped along for the ride#i was just thinking about how theres that running joke in the game of like#kalim and silver specifically just Missing The Point and being so good boy about everything#that like they dont notice the mega hater aura around everyone else#like in that one vignette where leona was like I Fucking Hate Malleus Draconia#and silver was like wow. i cant believe malleus made a friend. this is great.#meanwhile sebek is like i have to kill this man NOW!!!!! god theyre so funny. anyway#and kalim always being like LEONA MY GOOD BUDDY AND FRIEND WE ARE GONNA HAVE SOOOO MUCH FUN TOGETHER#and leonas like I DO NOT WANT TO BE HERE!!!! fairy gala and playful land my beloved lol#plus kalim and silver want malleus to be included in things and have a good time SO!!! combine the good boy powers they can do it#they can make a maleleo date happen somehow LOL and they can hold hands while they do it....#leona and malleus somehow suckered into making it a bet of who would back out first or w/e idk#stupidass bitches like well. ill kick your ass at being a good date and having fun. prepare to die#and kalim and silver are like im glad theyre having fun too :^)
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pest control TWO!!!!! heres the first one
adn heres the obligatory bonus bc i can't help myself :')
#i already threatened that little basard twice in these i may as well make good on it#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#the noise#fp ''oh god wait that is not a real rat and also tastes awful'' moments. he doesnt actually have any interest in eating that thang ok#even if seeing a small scampering little guy like that WILL activate his prey drive without fail#peppino loves it he thinks it's the funniest shit in the world for fp to go after noise. so he is always encouraging this.#but anyway yeah. fp is *really* not the one noise should be worried about.#arting#pizzaposting#i still have lots of tag room thjis time so im gonna do some tangential nonsense rambling. e#fp gotta be like crazy good at hunting i think. not just for strength and predator instincts but also bc like#he doesn't have much in the way of a scent or body heat or anything that would give him away as an alive thing#not to mention he's uh... not particularly organically-shaped a lot of the time#so esp. to smaller prey that don't like... memorize a landscape; if he holds very still he's like completely undetectable#total ambush king. though i'm sure hes also very good at#persistence and pursuit hunting since he has peppino's speed and no way of getting muscle fatigue. ultimate beast#fortunately he doesnt care that much and doesnt really need to eat so hes not devastating the local ecosystem or anything#except for the rats.
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Man, I feel like every clip I see from Pints with Aquinas lately Matt Fradd is demeaning women. Really sad to see it, I used to love his interviews :/
#lilac rambles#pints with aquinas#matt fradd#catholic#if anyone knows of anyone who has adressed this (not a paid substack. im very broke rn and only looking for podcast type things)#please let me know about it#honestly it feels like every other day someone i really admired turns to our polarized culture of hate#i was watching his recent interview with jason evert and jason is saying all these beautiful things about how the women he's encountering#who are dressing immodestly or being promiscuous or engaging in the culture are deeply wounded and matt just keeps jumping in with all these#reminders that yeah thats great and all but dont forget women suck too#and like. we know! we know the ways we suck! the entire red pilled manosphere spends a lot of time pointing it out to us!#but if you dont want women constantly pointing out the ways men have failed us then for the love of goodness please stop taking every moment#where someone is talking about female woundedness to talk about Why All Women Except Your Wife And Friends' Wives Suck#im just feeling very let down
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Maybe I'll make a post on this at some point but like, something deeply fucked up about TNP and Po3 that people have totally forgotten about is how badly they try to whine that "Tigerstar Had Good Traits :("
Firestar does it, Brambleclaw does it, and they keep doing this after it becomes this GRAND irony that Firestar almost gets Tiger'd to death in a fox trap because he was too trusting. Bramble gets his pity award of keeping deputyship and then cries to his son about how No One Saw The Good In Tigerstar :(
And it's wiiiiild that no one else in this fandom has done anything with the fact that Leopardstar broke the Warrior Code to appoint Hawkfrost, who had no apprentice, an extremely aggressive and warmongering Tigerclone who says things like "Tigerstar wasn't the worst cat to look up to." ONLY qualifying trait was being kinda like Tigerstar.
And she practically did that the SECOND Mistyfoot went missing. And then Leopardstar continued to be one of the most violent and xenophobic leaders through Po3, joining with WindClan to attack ThunderClan.
What I'm getting at is that like, a few years ago, with books like "Blackfoot's Reckoning" and "Shadow in RiverClan" it's like they suddenly decided to retcon in a bunch of "redemption arcs" in hindsight. They just pretended like there was this grand high reckoning with TigerClan, when there literally wasn't, and if anything that caused SERIOUS problems for the cast that the authors didn't fully acknowledge as such.
And now ppl haven't actually read the main series and are just working with their recent memory of all these retcon books.
But TNP and PO3 are still there, and you can go and see the ACTUAL timeline where Leopardstar is really not apologetic at all, and Blackstar is a useful stooge for the very next wannabe dictator that strolls in, in spite of the new side content that COMPLETELY mischaracterized them for their plots to work.
#I just wish people could be more critical of this#And im not entirely anti-retcon. Mind you#But I am here because i think these retcons make them WORSE characters. It's BAD for a character to GET a book with a redemption arc and--#Then they don't change at all and act like totally different people later in the timeline#And Leopardstar is the worse one between her and Blackstar BECAUSE she has sooo many active choices here#Im confident in my choice for BB the more I think about it. Leopardstar's dismantling of the bonehill was good#But it works better as a tragedy imo with the rest of the series in mind#That for a brief moment. A fleeting whim. She could have changed.#But she never did.#And Blackstar who was FAR less repentant at the time DID eventually turn around.#At the end of the day one of them appointed Hawkfrost as codebreaking deputy.#And the other did not.#And I think it's fucking bullshit the way that Leopardstar's retcondemption implies that Hawkfrost was just so tricky he mislead her#The old and experienced leader who had been fooled by a tiger before and was soso sorry for it. Just got tricked.#Like fuck off. She never had a redemption. Stop trying to tell me she did 15 years later#She's a girlboss who empires too close to the sun in pursuit of power and drags everyone down with her#Not a sad weepy smolbean#Bone babble#Warrior cats analysis
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LOST: Season One
#lost#abc lost#lost one cap per ep#this was a project i was gonna do anyways but the timing worked out that i could post the first one on the 20th anniversary!#this is one cap per ep every season. from left to right. and this is important: its not a cap that sums up each ep#its a cap that REPRESENTS each ep. the way i choose them varies every episode#sometimes its an utterly iconic moment. sometimes it reps the theme of the ep. or it hits with a theme of the character themselves#sometimes the cap i use won't even involve the character whose centric episode it is. trust me. this makes sense#anyways i'll give a good example: for outlaws i was so tempted to use a shot of the judgemental soulful gaze of the boar#or perhaps sawyer in the rain after he shot that man#but! i used that shot of sawyer's dads legs as sawyer is hiding under the bed. i feel it worthy because this moment. this scene#is literally a core part of sawyer. it's a defining moment of his backstory. of his character. so yeah. makes sense yeah?#anyways some eps had Too Much going on (lord i could make one of these for exodus part 1 alone) and some not enough#or well they DID but like lacked in caps that Hit in the way im thinking. thank heavens charlie shot ethan cuz i was worried about that ep#i was like ''aw shit what am i gonna use'' and then an iconic lost moment happened kjhfdsjkhfd#anyways. there are 25 eps in season one. so im really glad that the last ep contains one of the moment iconic visuals/moments in all of los#oh i should add that these caps are unedited. i did not fuck with the colours or saturation in any way#i found 'em and i pieced them together. this is harder than it sounds. i browsed through all the screencaps of every ep of season one#and i will do so the remaining five seasons#some of these were super easy like i knew what cap i'd be using before i even started (eg. do no harm. the moth. in translation)#but some took some real Thinking. and some eps even had several caps that would have worked. this has all been quite interesting#also yeah. y'all already know damn well what cap i'm using for the very last episode
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still so gucking delighted by how happy dapper was when they heard about all of bad’s killing. mad scientist baby loves loves loves to see his dad covered in other people’s blood. I can’t wait to see the other eggs’ reacts to what their parents did in purgatory. Will Richas be excited to hear all the tales of murder? Will Pomme be horrified? Is Chayanne gonna be delighted to hear about his dad and his mighty feat of saving tubbo? What about Leo? Ramon? Tallulah? their parents all went thru so much, and did so much. What will they think about it? (And will their parents even tell them?)
#qsmp#we have SO many good little character moments coming up#i wish i knew all of the eggs better to try to make actual predictions for them#but alas the lack of time in a day#one thing im p sure of is pomme’s o.o about all the slaughter#she’s got her momma’s morals#tho idk the chainsaw strat was so sick and awesome that maybe morals can be put down for a minute
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the crime scene photo for gregorys death is just so chilling to me because its such a stark contrast to everything else we get in aa1. we witness cindy and mia’s deaths in full color, almost like we’re watching a movie. jack hammer’s death doesn’t quite look real; the expression on his face is quite unnerving, but the impact of it goes away when you notice his costume and how the unrealistic piercing wound in his chest just makes him look hollow inside. it’s leaning more towards what you visualize when you think of a murder scene, but falls short because of the stylization applied.
and i think this was deliberate because when you get to turnabout goodbyes and you see this photo. man. it hits. the way gregory’s eyes are hidden from view. the way he’s slumped over. the way we can’t quite see the wound but blood soaks his entire chest. how the illustration is framed, him in the corner, almost like an afterthought. the way he’s presented as such a normal person, looking just like any other businessman you could run into on the street. it rips ace attorney away from its largely-unbelievable themes—spirit mediums, three-day-long trials, witnesses whose last names are puns—and sends it hurtling back into our world. it’s just so striking and sticks with you for so long after you finish turnabout goodbyes
#cannot believe they pulled out such a good fucking case in he FIRST GAME#its been almost four years since ive played it??? in early 2020???? hello????????#only other time i went through it was when i forced my parents to play the trilogy lol#i really have to again. some day. when im done with soj i will#that shit was crazy i will never ever get my OH MY GOD….IT WAS VON KARMA?!/!/!/! moment back#gregory edgeworth#ace attorney#myne
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