#but im fucking terrified when theyre gone.

[revenge-of-the-assbutt]

.

[trans-estinien]

i think its hilarious i tried to be friends with the other theater seniors last year like. bestie you are the weirdest freak of them all theres no way they like you. why did i even tryyyy. i wouldve been better off not giving a fuck but i ruined prom and my entire graduation. wow.

[smol-stardust]

Giving bones the bombastic side-eye because LET THE MAN FEEK THINGS DAMMIT

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

RATS are NOT your friends at night while you're reading a scary book

[kylelovskii]

idk but now that kyle finally asked reader to be his gf, what if they were just hanging out and stuff so then kyle leaves to go do something but ends up coming back and sees reader masturbating and theyre just like a total hot mess on his bed waiting for him… just a thought bc im feeling pretty freaky atm LOL i need kyle hes such a meanie

-❤️ anon

been a while.. :3

i’ve missed writing about mean kyle, so let’s do this! 😈

the fuck do you think you’re doing?

“hey, baby, i’m gonna get some snacks for movie night, okay?” kyle told you, cupping your plush cheeks and kissing your forehead.

“okay..” you respond, closing your eyes as he plants his lips on your temple. you watched as he walked away. his white wife beater hugging him perfectly, and the way his basketball shorts hung perfectly around his waist. you’d been so desperate for him the entire day, but still so shy to even say anything. despite all the change, that old, shy, innocent (y/n) was still down there.

he shut the bedroom door behind him as he waltzed out. you knew he’d be gone for a bit. he usually likes to cook something up for the two of you on movie nights, then have extra snacks on the side. what to do with all this time?

who’s to say you couldn’t rub one out real quick? if he didn’t catch you, no harm no foul, right?

and with that last thought, you sunk more into his bed, reaching your hand down your baggy pajama pants. you pushed one finger between your folds, already so slick from just the mere sight of kyle a few moments prior. you massage the bundle of nerves between the pudge of your pussy, then push your middle finger into your hole.

you sigh at the relief you’ve been craving for the past 4 hours. sure, it wasn’t as good as kyle’s fingers, but it got the job done.

you add another finger, speeding up to make this process go faster so kyle wouldn’t catch you. kyle’s rule was, and i quote: “if i ever catch your fucking your self without my permission, you’ll be in a world of hurt, you get me?”

and you did get him, you just didn’t want to burden him when he probably didn’t feel like it. besides, it’s movie night, and why would you ruin that?

you were on the edge, so caught up in the release you were about to get, that you didn’t hear the bedroom door swing open. so caught up in how good you felt that you didn’t hear him yelling at you.

“hey! what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

you yelped, scrambling up against the headboard, staring at kyle, horrified.

“who said you could do that, huh?” he spat, slowly walking over to you, his fists clenched.

“wait— i’m sorry! i didn’t want to bother you, and—” you were cut off by the painful sting in your scalp when he grabbed your hair, pulling your face up to his. “don’t be fucking stupid. get up, strip.”

you were quite terrified to say the least, so you quickly got up and stepped back away from your fuming boyfriend. you took off your t-shirt, then your pajama pants. you stood there, half naked, staring at him.

“why are you looking at me like you can’t understand english? i said strip.”

oh. he wanted you naked naked. okay. you brought the straps of your bra down, your perky tits bouncing out. you then pulled the pink cotton panties off your waist and kicked them to the side.

“you wanna get fucked so bad? then you’ll get fucked. lay down,” he ordered, pointing to the bed. you whined and climbed on the bed, laying down, vulnerable for him.

he tugged off his shirt, then took off his silky basketball shorts and threw them in a laundry basket along with his boxers.

“i think you’ve had enough prep, yeah? being greedy all alone in here, not even bothering to ask me. you know the rules, don’t cha?” he asked, smooshing your face together with one hand, stroking his cock with the other. “answer me, bitch.”

“yes! yes i remember! i’m sorry, ky— please!” then you felt a sharp pain against your face. “i don’t care if you’re sorry. you broke a rule, and now you’ll get punished. nothing has changed,” he forcefully explained before shoving his dick inside you. you cried out which turned into a long whine.

“aw, yeah? see? your fucking fingers can’t do this, only i can.” he reached his hand up and held your neck tightly, but not tight enough to stop your breathing. he pounded into you, harder and faster with each thrust.

“hah— ky! i’m gonna— you’re—” you tried to speak, but he was fucking you so good you couldn’t even form a sentence. “no you’re not. not until i do. you don’t deserve it.”

he slid his hand up, prying your mouth open more with his thumb, and with that a small fetching noise came from his throat before he spit in your mouth. “swallow,” he demanded, and you did.

each time his cock went back inside your cunt, it only pushed you more to the edge. you didn’t know how much longer you could hold out, but then you heard a high pitched groan come out of kyle’s mouth and then a warm sensation shoot inside you. that did it for you and you hit your high, legs shaking, locking them around kyle’s waist to make them stop.

but he kept going.

“stop! stopstopstop! kyle— please, wait—” he covered your mouth with his hand to shut you up, which didn’t really work, but you stopped talking at least. “what’s wrong? can’t take it? this is what you’ve been so desperate for, right? so you will take it. shut up and take it.”

orgasm after orgasm, kyle finally let up and pulled out, but he hadn’t cum yet. he inched up near your face, took off his glasses, and shoved them on your face. lean leaned his head back, stroking his cock until he came all over your face, recreating the scene that happened at cartman’s house many moons ago.

he let out a guttural moan as he did so, sighing when he finally came down from his high.

“go..go clean up,” he slurred, flopping down next to you as you looked at him confused. “you’re not gonna help?”

“no. you’ve been a bad girl. besides, i cooked. that’s enough of caring for one night. and clean my glasses too!” he shouted after you as you walked into the bathroom connected to his room.

kyle always took care of you, but bad girls know how to take care of themselves, right?

[chasingfictions]

im getting so fucked up thinking about nat and coach ben and about travis and coach ben and how theyre the two people who still interact with him with any kind of real relationship and im thinking about nat's dad calling her a slut versus nat building a trusting relationship with coach in large part because he's gay and has never and will not ever sexualize the girls. im thinking about travis and coach having little moments of like, coach giving him condoms and an awkward sex talk and coach trying to help him through his dangerous teenage boy angst and how travis felt his own dad was a shitty father and how he still tried to save him. nat and travis' conversation in the plane that it doesnt matter how shitty your dad is it still fucks you up when theyre gone. and now their new gay dad / gay older brother / gay uncle who is suffering so much and is in his like early thirties at the oldest who doesnt want to fucking be there and is terrified of all ofthem but is trying his best is gonna get cannibalized by all of their friends and theyre maybe gonna participate because they have to. no one talk to me about nat and coach i have to lie down

[sunbedo]

!!!!!! BIG DUAL DESTINIES AA5 SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!!!!! SCROLL QUICKLY TO AVOID SPOILING YOURSELF IF NEEDED!!!!!!!!

UGHHGGGGGGHHH im watching someone play through the cosmic turnabout and like. during the first investigation they make a point to be like 'wooowww detective fulbright is being super cooporative its weirdddd like hes almost a different person. lmao.' and im SO MAD. its such a good setup for him being replaced but then theyre like. 'noooo hes been dead for like ten years or somwthign woahhhh what!!!!!!!!' LIKE. CHOOSING SHOCK VALUE OVER GOOD WRITING. If we've just been talking to the phantom the whole time what the fuck was that bit with the shoes during the monsterous turnabout???????? its either like. a. the phantom was worried about playing fulbright's character. like. for whom????? none of us knew what he was really like??? and it couldve easily gone unnoticed??????? or b. they really just fucking didnt notice. terrifying international superspy murderer. okay

"its to make sure that we know that this is definitely someone else!!" okay? edgeworth shows up and is like we found bobby fulbright in an abandoned warehouse or some shit and all dna and everything matches. woah that guy on the stand is definitely not detective fulbright. "its to show just how horrifying the phantom really is!!" okay???? so maybe they found him like tortured and ab/used and shit. and then its still really horrifying because we actually!!! know!!!!!!!!! fulbright!!!!!!!!!!! and how goofy and kind he is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow this guy is a really actively serious threat and a fucked up evil person. and now the player wants them dead for hurting this golden retriever of a man so badly. "but isnt it so fucked up that this great and super kind guy you've been talking to this entire game is actually dead??!?!?" yeah sure but once again we. dont. know. the real goddamn fulbright!!!!!!!! we dont know what he was actually like and the phantom couldve been portraying him completely differently!!!! sure a few lines of dialog tell us hes a good man. but other than that all we have to go off of is the phantom's act!!! people dont think about it that deeply and take the phantom's portrayal at face value but like?????? come on dude

and if you still want that sweet angst over him being dead, what if when they find him hes almost dead. like the phantom meant to actually kill him (because of how horrible they are!!!! its the same effect!!!!!!!) and it adds a new layer of tension during the trial after that because hes on death's door! is he gonna pull through??? will the phantom win in the sick twisted way of taking yet another life, but this time it's worse because we ACTUALLY. KNEW. HIM. and how good of a person he is??????? and its way more angst in the way of characters cause like Simon has someone actually close to him to potentially mourn! again! because of the phantom!

and if you still want the betrayal factor, i got that too! maybe the real fulbright was being threatened into being an informant for the phantom!!! or was even accidentally giving away information somehow, which still gives him consequences for the 'betrayal' while also being a 'fulbright being stupid' moment at the same time. just this time it's a whole lot worse because it put actual lives at stake and Clay got killed. boom! angst!!

[lunarflare64]

I don't typically add things in reblogs like this but beware, my rambling in the tags is long-winded. Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind just brings that out of me sometimes

Moment of truth...

Keep in mind: I ONLY included the films in which (according to Wikipedia), Miyazaki was the SOLE director. The only one I couldn't squeeze on here was his latest work post-retirement (How Do You Live?). Also, alas, none of the other Ghibli films count, so don't ask for Arietty, or Grave of the Fireflies, etc.

Godspeed and happy voting! ❤

[pumpkinsy0]

Ok this might seem stupid but hear me out, perhaps we could get some headcanons of papercut in the events of the book but instead of Johnny it was Curly who stabbed the soc and him and Pony had to run away together? It would also be cool to see what the Curtis AND Shepard gangs reactions are

this aint stupid,,,,ur onto something here,,,,

•ok look, not REALLY related but curly woulda loved that white trash w mustangs and madras line, this white on white violence gotta STOP💔💯

•ANYWAYS, i think he’d put up more of a fight, he’d try to get to pony but they were outnumbered so he gets cornered, HOWEVER, he always carries some weapon on him, or maybe he picked up a coke bottle, POINT IS, bob still died lmao

•i dont think curly and pony would stay around that area as long as johnny and pony did, curly would want to leave as soon as he could so nobody could see them, so ponys forced to just get it together in under like 2mins so they could leave, so ponys disassociating badly

•theyd go to tim, curly doesnt like dally and tim IS his older brother, then tim would tell dally, and they still end up at the dirty ass church</3

•now curlys shaken up too, like hes not trying to show it to look tough, but hes never done THAT before, never flat out hurt someone that badly before, but he still doesnt regret it bc it was to defend pony, however considering hes black in the 60s in TULSA, hes so certain a judge will not gaf that it was outta self defense, so actually hes disassociatin too, they both a lil fucked up rn

•back at home, dally didnt tell darry or soda where they were but tim sure as hell did, he gets what darrys goin through cause theyre both older bros worryin over their younger bros, darry doesnt know HOW to react at all to it, he doesnt tell soda nor johnny, or anyone really, when two bit says he’ll go to texas (i think it was,,,) to look for him, darry says not to bother, so they all feel like darry knows where pony is and they dint know wether to be happy or terrified bc why isnt he tellin em or getting him??

•when it comes to the shepard gang, tim did tell some of em whats going on, only his trusted guys tho, theres basically nothing they CAN do to stop word from spreading about it bc the socs who were there already went to the cops, so they all have to lay low for a while, stay in line cause tim quite honestly cant handle anything more rn

•angela’s pretty much losing it too, shes drinking more, way more irritable, if one of the shepards is gone, ALL of em r losing it dawg

•in the church, curlys trying to act like his normal self but u can tell that he’s damn near close to losing it cause this could mean prison or the death penalty, hes so sure hes done for and pony wants to reassure him but holy fuck it aint lookin too good, they do their normal banger but u can feel this somber tension between the two as if this is gonna b their last moments together

•curly is NOT talking about turning himself in at all, he’d rather kill someone else to NOT go actually, on top of that tims telling him to stay hidden, dallys tellin him to stay hidden, so thats how he knows hes GOTTA stay there

•NOW THE FIRE, just like dally, curly dont care that much bout those kids im ngl, but bc ponys running in there, now HE has to help, boooooo👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽

•curly aint like johnny, hes grabbing those kids and pushing them out, whatever injuries they get outta that they gonna have to deal w later, its better than them being dead id think, when the church falls, honestly??? i think my main man curly gettin outta there in time, he lowkey DID push pony out the window cause he was taking too long and then jumped out bit aye, hes livin

•its either that or he risks it and takes the longer way out if like, the wood fell where the window was

•he aint livin without some injuries and scars tho, he did definitely break SOMETHING and got some burns on his hands and wherever else, but hes relatively fine, a part of the reason y is bc he wears a leather jacket, unlike johnny who wears a jean jacket, and jean jackets r more flammable, and as seen w pony, the leather jacket did help him a bit in that fire, he still is banged up tho

[sga-owns-my-soul]

Hello my lovely! 😊 I've popped back in with another ask of my random atlantis thoughts as I'm going through my rewatch

Idk if it's ever said outright, but I'm pretty sure Teyla is the first friend John's ever had who's been pregnant. Like, he DOES NOT know what to do with her and he's overly protective (which is very sweet but clearly irritating for Teyla)

Bro is TERRIFIED because she's his family! And her baby is his family!! Especially considering the guilt he feels about losing Elizabeth and Carson, of course he's going to be fiercely protective of her!!😭

Sidenote: Ronon found her exercising and she was worried that she wouldn't be able to "keep up" with the rest of the team once the baby was born if she didn't and his response was literally "Who says you have to keep up?" that just 🥺 Literally saying they're going to take care of her no matter what. They're so family I can't 😭😭

john sheppard is afraid of clowns, iratus bugs, and pregnant women and that is fucking canon to me. that man would rather SCALE THE FUCKING TOWER than be around a pregnant woman and i for one think that's fucking hilarious

ALSO i know it was like. Huge Asshole Energy when john grounded teyla from missions but like. all i can think about is how john places the responsibility to keep his team safe 100% on his own shoulders, and i FULLY believe that his team (which is strongest for AR-1 but obviously extends to the whole city) includes the athosians, and by this point they've gone missing, and i really do think john believes he's to blame for it. i think johns harsh reaction was purely fear based- teyla's baby, who very well could end up being the Last Athosian, is at risk because they got shot by stunners. not only is john feeling the guilt from teyla getting stunned, but he now thinks he's putting her baby at risk. of course he freaks out!!!!!! he JUST found out about torren and in the same breath finds out he might've led teyla into a situation where she could lose her baby???????? anyways this was a lot to say yes john 100% sees teyla and torren as family and is SO overprotective of both of them.

also i'm literally never over teyla and ronon's friendship, i LOVE how ronon pivots between beating the shit out of teyla because he knows she'll give it as good as she gets and being the softest most tender soul with her. like the scene where they find out and he holds her hand and congratulates her and asks about kanan 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 IM GONNA SOB AT WORK THEYRE SO god i fucking love teyla and ronon's friendship it's SO fucking good

also you didn't mention this but i'm incapable of talking about teyla's pregnancy without commenting on how obsessed i am with the fact that rodney is the one who delivered her baby. like. i just. it's everything to me i genuinely think it's my favourite thing to happen in the entire show it was the BEST possible decision for the writers to make and i love it it's my favourite thing and i like to think rodney has a special bond with torren bc of it

thank you for the team feels they're Everything

[qoldenskies]

Omg I just read the entirety of the canary continuity and I love it so much! I was crying so hard by the time I was done with it!

Also, I feel so bad for all the brothers, especially Leo, Raph and Mikey. Not only is their brother hurt, physically and mentally, but they can't even do anything cause it was (unintentionally) their fault. Their relationship has broken, and they can't even fix it, because not only would Donnie think that they are lying about being nice again when they try to help, he can't even see them before having a panic attack, thinking that they are going to hurt him (or worse, kill him).

I can't wait to see what would happen in the future chapters!

hi!!! im so glad you enjoyed!! >:D

honestly ive been rolling around the particular angst with the other three in my head, and i've been excited to dive deeper into them and how they're handling it but i need to get through a particular part of the story before i can properly switch to their povs, but you better bet it'll be happening!!!

its the pain of not being able to show him the kindness and gentleness he deserves after everything that happens to him. despite his fear and initial trepidation, he practically folds into april and splinter when they reach for him, and he panics when he sees them leave, and he uses them as a lifeline when he's scared. already twice now they've talked him down from a spiral of panic and comforted him (although theyve been unable to do it when the others are around, so they always have to make them leave. even when they dont want to!) and it's somewhat established that it's not even normally how donnie responds to trauma. he usually needs a while to sit and process before he can come for comfort, and trying to push him does not work at All, but now more than anything all that he wants and needs is the affection they CANT GIVE HIM because he's utterly terrified of them, even though its ultimately the most important thing for him right now. more than anything donnie wants his brothers to keep him safe, but he thinks they're gone, and he doesn't know when the curse started, or what part of it was how they truly feel and what part of it was the curse speaking; and even if he did, they are a trigger to him and there's nothing he can do about it.

and for raph and mikey in particular, who are so tactile and affectionate (and are just as comforted by affection as the person theyre trying to comfort in most cases) its fucking devastating. with leo with his hidden low self esteem its still awful for him, but he knows what this feels like, he's only acting so different because he can't fall back on his old coping mechanisms; because they're the thing that HURT donnie, because the curse weaponized them, so he's turning to anger (in ME he is intentionally trying to start fights because he wants to be yelled at LOL) and trying to stay productive instead. but raph and mikey generally have always had the impression of themselves that they're Good People (mikey is very confident and he hasn't really been disillusioned at all yet, and raph is someone i see to be very secure in the idea that he's a good person, which can sometimes make taking responsibility/handling guilt difficult for him. although he matures substantially around the time of the movie) so its just. shattering.

mikey never saw himself CAPABLE of doing something this horrible (he's just a kid! sometimes he struggles to see past himself!) and with raph it was a confirmation of his worst insecurity; to some extent he has always seen donnie and mikey as so much more fragile than him (he does canonically understand that donnie is very sensitive/takes rejection super seriously, and he worries about hurting his feelings. ty donnie's gifts for the brains and brawn fuel i use you so liberally), and especially when he was younger he grappled with this fear of hurting them badly on accident (and he probably had in play before), and even with the self-restraint he displayed under the curse, he still caused all this CARNAGE... and there's nothing he can do about it. donnie can't even hear his voice right now without screaming. they both need to comfort in order to feel comforted and that's been ripped away from them, and they're doing so fucking awful. cannot wait to write their povs honestly i have a lot of ideas >:)

[sand-boxed]

echo is such a good character. theoretically at least. actually the definition of wasted potential hes the most interesting member of cf99 and hes barely in the show im sobbing.

i wish there was actual buildup to echo leaving or something showing his dissatisfaction with being in the batch. like something about having to kill his brothers, or even with the whole being sold as a droid thing which i know its a haha funny bit but that shit was actually so fucked up ???? we dont talk about that one enough that was so insane of hunter 😭😭 if u think abt his backstory then it makes more sense but theres barely anything in his behavior that suggests conflict with his own goals and the interests of his team by the time he leaves. ig its also one of the issues is that the show doesnt have enough time. maybe echo should have left later on in the show or something but i can also think of some midder episodes that are just hunter and omega but again that could have been replaced to give this guy or wrecker some actual characterization. no shade to them ( kinda bc most of the best episodes are the ones where theyre not there) but save some for the rest of us bc they dont need half the show do they

also istg they (writers and the batch ) forgot echo used to be a "reg" i feel like its so strange for the batch to be all pissy abt reg clones and have a weird superiority complex early on in the show when like. echo is there he was once one of them and now hes not. theres so much the writers could have done to tackle echos feelings abt being othered by the reg clones and inadvertently ostracized by his team. theres so much he probably sees different from thebatch bc of their separate upbringings where echo was part of a collective and the batch were singled out as individuals. does he view killing other clones in a different light bc he was also the type to follow orders blindly once??? how does he feel abt the chips as a pow that spent around a year unable to control his thoughts, having his mind stolen from him??

something i wanted for his character was for him to have a connection pre-citadel that he loses during his time being frozen bc he would have to cope with that loss and adapt to the batch at the same time. yes this is another excuse for me to talk abt fives but who else. echo doesnt talk to anyone except him in basically every scene b4 the citadel. echo feeling messed up abt it bc just all of a sudden his world has been turned upside down and all he can do is move on. thats absolutely terrifying to think about bc the war has taken away most of everyone hes ever known. there was no goodbye, nothing for him, they were just here one moment and gone the next for him. too bad we dont get to see any of it lmaoooo

[kiruliom]

you know what mental disorder people make hard to talk about even within communities built on it, besides paras?

munchausens.

and I get the reasoning, its scary. even if the whole disorder's thing being faking another disorder/illness/trauma wasnt doing it, fakeclaimers love to abuse the word until it loses its meaning.

so as someone who actually has it Id like to clear some stuff up

first of all, this doesnt mean Im faking any of my conditions, maybe not all of them are entirely accurate, but thats because I havent been able to find disorders that better describe it. Ive researched each of my conditions religiously, and talked most of them with my psychologist, who we already agreed I shouldnt get a medical diagnosis for because it could literally ruin my future where I live.

we're not "transabled", yes a portion of our community unfortunately does swing that way, but thats because thats the only community that wont immedietly flip its shit when you say "hey I dont actually have this disorder but I feel like I should have it" and thats so fucking sad. Im very anti-transabled and similar things. hell, even I was terrified of bringing it up until now.

its not a delusion, not for me, at least. I know I dont have the disorders I feel like I should have. so its not a mental equivelant of BIID. most of us feel that way because we're neglected, or feel we should have been affected worse, and some part of us grips to the false fact that maybe if we were hurt worse people would actually care, even if deep down we do know better.

it is incredibly rare. rarer than plurality even. so most fakeclaimers who immedietly resort to blaming munchausens for disabled people they claim are cringe, guess what!! that shits even rarer than whatever bullshit you claim cringy teens are faking.

if you believe someone is faking a disorder, let them!! ignore them!!! personally Id let 1000 people get away with faking shit than fakeclaim someone who actually has that disorder you claim theyre faking. and similar to delusions, it often makes us 'get into character' even harder, and just ruins our mood and makes actually disordered people around us insecure as well. there is no 'right' way to be disordered.

me, personally? Ive never gone as far as to fake a disorder, but god damn did I have the urge to and still do. I would be that whole 'he has every mental illness' meme if I didnt have as much self control as I did. but honestly would you even know if I did? I wouldnt tell you. because that means Id no longer get the attention I already wasnt getting because realistically no one cares and those that do are annoyingly pitying about it.

if any of you have questions about this, dont be afraid to ask, as long as you dont accuse me of shit Id love to talk about it. I just want more information on us out there :(

fakeclaimers fuck off or Ill rip your throat out

-Reggie and Velvet

[cartoonrival]

Wow that was quick and quiet. How was it. Were there any parts you liked. Any you didn’t. How do you feel about every character from su hating you

ok. so for anyone who doesn't know , the premise of kist is that yoon bum, who is sort of a loner pervert stalker freak, is obsessed w this guy he met once in the military (oh sangwoo) so he breaks into sangwoo's house because he's in love with him. but when he does this he finds a woman tied up in sangwoo's basement and sangwoo shows up and clonks him on the head then breaks his ankles so he can't leave. the story simultaneously follows sangwoo and bum's relationship as it morphs from a pretty basic kidnapper-kidnappee dynamic into something that would be love if it wasn't so much not that, and also a cop (yang seungbae) who is trying to catch a sangwoo but he's sort of disgraced so no one believes him. + porn is there also.

most of it was like ok..... i'm by no means unfamiliar with stories that are fucked up in a way that doesn't mean anything its just Did you see that shit? anyways im rod sterling. like considering i forked over the cash to watch terrifier 3 in theaters i am not the guy who thinks horrible plotlines need to justify themselves. so for the vast majority of the story it was just like .... it was vaguely interesting watching sangwoo and bum's relationship develop as sangwoo became less concerned that bum would try and run away and started to treat him less like a hostage and more like a lover (who is also a hostage). didn't care for the sex scenes because no part of me was reading the story for sexual reasons i was reading it to watch something fucked up happen. so bum's waifish appearance and behaviors were really starting to piss me off. but we persist.

as i mentioned in my halfway post, i DID find seungbae's perspective somewhat interesting because it let me view sangwoo from a perspective other than bum's terrified but smitten one. which i think those povs work best in tandem. the story would be boring if it was just one or the other.

a little background first for the insane twist that made me start posting for realsies: sangwoo's father was abusive, and he drove his mother into madness. his father died of poisoning by pills cooked into his food, it's unspecified whether sangwoo or his mother was responsible for this directly but even if it wasn't by his own hands sangwoo feels responsible. in the absence of his father, sangwoo's mother starts referring to and treating sangwoo (who looks like his father) AS IF he WERE her husband. like she calls him babe not infrequently, stuff like that. this freaks him out. the fact that he looks like his father makes the irrational part of her hate him. he starts to suspect that she's been poisoning him, so he starts counting the pills so he can know if she's been putting them in his food. he learns that she has. she ties him up and almost kills him in the basement, but he manages to overpower her and kill her before she can kill him.

Now. first relevant detail is that sangwoo has been living in his childhood home this whole time. this detail is known from the start. he vaguely references not wanting to be abusive in the way his father was throughout the story, but you aren't fully told what exactly led to the deaths of his parents until later. the point when you DO learn is after sangwoo and bum have gone on a series of outings together, with strange but seemingly innocuous details-- sangwoo buys them apples and seems strangely familiar with the stand theyre sold at, he has bum wear weirdly specific outfits (the main outfit being a striped shirt and long black skirt).

then, as backstory details about sangwoo are being revealed, you slowly realize that sangwoo has been REENACTING MOMENTS BETWEEN HIMSELF AND HIS MOTHER, WITH BUM AS THE STAND-IN FOR HIS MOTHER. HE HAS BEEN REENACTING THE MOST TRAUMATIC MOMENTS OF HIS CHILDHOOD. HE HAS BUM KILL THIS RANDOM GIRL AND TAKES HIM TO BURY HER IN THE SAME MOUNTAIN WHERE HIS MOTHER TOOK HIM TO BURY HIS FATHER. HE HAS BUM WEAR THE SAME OUTFIT HIS MOTHER WORE THAT DAY. there are more fucked up and uncomfortable instances of these parallels but i won't get into them because the specifics aren't necessary. the point is that bum is serving as a stand-in for sangwoo's mother, who mistook him for her husband and also tried to kill him. just a bizarre and insane revelation and the way it's revealed is honestly so effective. just repeated panels but this time it's his mother in the passenger seat type stuff. like WOAHHH OKAY.

and where it gets even crazier is that sangwoo starts becoming paranoid that bum is plotting to kill him like his mother was-- he starts counting the pills again and thinks bum has poisoned him when he accidentally spills them and miscounts. it's a bizarre role flip-- sangwoo is neurotic and terrified, and bum seems well adjusted in comparison. sangwoo steps on broken glass and CAN'T LEAVE THE HOUSE, putting HIM in the position that he'd put BUM in for the first portion of the story, the reason bum stayed long enough to get stockholmed to begin with. this break down and subsequent flipping of their roles is what made me sort of lose it. i genuinely enjoyed reading that portion, the reveal about sangwoo's mother and his breakdown afterwards.

the ending was honestly not much to write home about, lowkey dropped the ball a little. i think sangwoo and bum should've died in a double suicide situation. sangwoo did make bum promise that they would die together and that if sangwoo died bum would kill himself. sort of think they should've gone w that. but instead seungbae catches sangwoo and there's a freak incident and sangwoo ends up DYING in the hospital and bum is cleared of police suspicion in terms of being an accomplice rather than a victim. but then he goes sort of crazy about never being able to see sangwoo again (he already symbolically proposed to him but he wanted to give him a ring) and he goes crazy and then gets hit by a car and dies. lame! but it's fine.

tldr it was mostly mid and what you'd expect except for that one part which sort of knocked my socks off a little bit. but then it went back to being mid. i don't NOT get why it was popular and to be completely honest dressing up as sangwoo and bum would be like darkly funny if it wasn't for the fact that people see them as just like uwaa yaoi!!! instead of two really fucked up individuals who are like destined to die badly and stuff. i'm glad i read it but i don't recommend it. honestly having read it the "every character from steven universe will hate you" thing is even funnier like this isn't basic shitty toxic yaoi this is psychological horror. why do the characters in steven universe have an opinion on that. too funny.

[stiffyck]

imagine tcd scar being rescued but found in such horrible shape even respawn wasn’t going to work. So, the rescuers do what they think is the next best thing.

take the player code and memories and personality.

code it into a robot, practically indistinguishable from a human player.

when Scar first boots up he’s oblivious but so grateful to be alive that they don’t tell him. they won’t yet, but they will. they will.

Scar leaves before they can.

imagine how terrifying that could be. thinking you’re completely human, going about your normal life. that’s exactly what scar’s doing when he arrives at hermitcraft. no one questions things about people on hermitcraft, it’s a place for safety. scar only told xisuma any aides he would need, so surely he just doesn’t want the admin to know what happened, so neither he nor the other hermits will pry. he had gone so long without anyone touching him that he doesn’t even question how off it feels. he’s just touch starved, right?

then he dies in just the wrong way.

he wakes up, and his speech is wrong wrong wrong, garbled and not making the words he wants to, and his limbs aren’t moving the way they’re supposed to. he’s panicking, and he’s trying to breathe but he can’t, not because it’s a panic attack but because he doesn’t have lungs to breathe into. tripping and falling in his panic and cutting himself on accident, only for what drips to the floor not to be blood but redstone.

mumbo and/or doc finds him passed out in his base after his system sends out a message in the World Chat.

[GoodTimeWithScar]: !SYSTEM IN CRITICAL CONDITION! !REPAIR REQUIRED!

most of the server didn’t even know what was going on, that scar wasn’t human. scar didn’t even know he wasn’t human. He’s sobbing as soon as Mumbo brings him back online, clutching the man and desperately searching for that feeling that’s supposed to come with touch and not finding it. it takes a long, long, long time for him to come to terms with himself.

it’s not all bad though. jellie thinks he’s extra warm and cuddly because of how warm machines run, and he quickly becomes a go-to cuddler on the server. he’s a bit more durable now, which considering everything he’s gone through, he appreciates.

after all, zombies can’t bite through metal, now can they?

-💛

HI YES ANON???? IM????

THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING THING IVE SEEN IN A WHILE. I LOVE ALL THE OTHER IDEAS BUT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I LOVE SEEING-

A CHARACTER FINDING OUT THEYRE SOMETHING ELSE THAN THEY THOUGHT, A CHARACTER FINDING OUT IN A HORRIBLE WAY AND THEY PANIC- AND OTHER CHARACTERS FINDING OUT AS WELL.

JESUS I LOVE THIS

ANON IF YOU GIVE ME PERMISSION I WILL BE GIVING YOU A HUGE SLOPPY KISS ON YOUR MOUTH. IF NOT, ILL JUST GIVE YOU A FLOWER AND BOW AT YOUR FEET

[demento-mori]

11, 13, and 16 for the ask game!

11. favorite and/or most interesting relationship (doesn't have to be romantic)

The evolution of Utena and Anthys relationship is one of my favourite parts of the show. There are so many little moments that make me want to explode. The only thing that gets a rise out of Utena in ep12 being Wakaba insulting Anthy, and Anthy in that same episode realising that she misses Utena. The moment in the black rose arc when Utena realises Anthy stayed up waiting for her. Anthy feeling guilt and responsibility for Utena's situation throughout the apocalypse arc, and trying to warn her even as Akio drives a wedge between them. The culmination of this in the cantarella scene, and anthy's attempted suicide. "Oh stubborn and reckless hero. You let me have a small taste of true friendship." THE COFFIN SCENE!! And "Wait for me, Utena." AAAAAAAAAA they make me insane!!!!!

Also, including this as an extra because it basically solely exists within my mind, but kozunami. Theyre everything to me.

13. character you think is underappreciated by the fandom

Ive gone on and on about this many times before but Kozue! Shes such a fascinating character, especially considering how little screentime she gets. Im glad shes been getting more love lately, me and my circle of kozue appreciators know whats up, but I still think shes very underrated within the wider fandom.

I also have to give a shoutout to Kanae. We dont talk about Kanae nearly enough.

16. character you relate to the most

I think I relate a lot to Nanami because her autistic swagger is off the charts. Fr tho, I feel like she really embodies the experience of being a teenage girl, and feeling like youre a complete freak for things that every other girl is experiencing, and trying so desperately to fit in to the sudden strict gender roles that have been forced upon you. The whiplash of being a child, and then suddenly being seen as a woman, and having to live up to that fucks. you. up. This is experience is only exacerbated by being autistic. I also heavily relate to her attachment issues, stemming from a place of neglect and loneliness. Having one person and being so so terrified of losing them because theyre all you have.

I also see a lot of my teenage self in Shiori. The ubiquity of being 15 and thinking youre the most evil, despicable person in the world and that everyone hates you is so real. Being a Shiori enjoyer really is the ultimate exercise in forgiving and loving your teenage self.