#but im feeling it now and have been feeling it for more than a month so......
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☀︎ YOU’RE NOT BEING PRODUCTIVE, YOU’RE LAZY AND AFRAID ☀︎
And this will cost you a lot of time that could be spent with your desires…
You have all the information, why aren’t you applying. You tell me you have been in this community for 6 months, a year, 2 years+, but how many of those days you’ve spent in this community have you actually applied, how many of those nights did you actually apply and don’t just fall asleep after 5 seconds.
And i know why you’re lazy, it’s because you’re scared, you’re scared of inducing process, whether it be success or failure. You make yourself busy with scripts and subliminals, “i’ll script this really cool thing first”, “i’ll scroll a little on tumblr first” “lemme just look at the success story hashtag before i do it, it really motivates me” You try and distract your self, you delude yourself into thinking you’re being productive but really you don’t want to, if you wanted to you wouldn’t be here and I will ALWAYS stand by that. You put it off until the last minute and then when it “doesn’t work” you run back to tumblr acting like you actually did anything.
a really good analogy from @archsariel333 - “you buy the pens, the notebook, you plan for the book you’re going to write but, you never write it”
“let me just add this one thing to the plan”, “let me look at inspo for book covers and art styles for illustration”, “let me go to my book writers group on tumblr and see if they have anymore advice for me even tho i know how to write a fucking book”
I know it’s comforting and validating to be in the “waiting period”, the period of anticipation. You want to go shopping for a vacation, pack your suitcase, look at reviews on social media, plan the pics you’re going to take, but getting on the actual plane can be scary, you ask yourself “what if they deny my boarding pass”, “what if i fail to make it on time”, “what if im not eligible to fly for whatever reason”, you don’t want to leave your comforting circumstances and even the trip itself scares you just a little, so you cope by buying all the vacation outfits in the world, saving inspo pics into a pinterest board, looking at vlogs of other people going to that place. You can’t bring yourself to get on the fucking plane.
You need to apply, and properly, 2024 is almost over, the amount of weeks we have left isn’t even in the double digits anymore, I don’t want you to make it to the end of this DECADE still keeping the tumblr “foryou” page company, watching people coming and going feeling paralysed as people who came here later than you pass you by. I know the feeling sucks but whose fault is that?
I want you to scrap the amount you’ve been here. Since you’re the operant power right? I don’t care how many weeks, months, years you’ve been here, scrap it, you’re going to start afresh and you’re going to actually apply, when you have the time, you’re not going to go back to your notes app, notion or pinterest to script some more, you’re going to apply.
A lot of you have the knowledge that majority of the world doesn’t and time on your hands, do you know how powerful and extremely fortunate you are, to have time AND knowledge? i don’t think alot of you understand how much of a privilege that is you are unstoppable yet you stop yourself out of fear that you will “fail” to tap into the void and let yourself down. You are so privileged to know what you know and to have the time to apply it, so do it, your not gonna scroll on tiktok for a few more minutes or shove a million subliminals down your throat to “prep yourself” you’re just going to take a breath and do it. Induce pure consciousness, and if you fall asleep scrap that assumption and do it again.
Look at your life right now, do you honestly like it, do you like envying others for having what you can have at the snap of your fingers. Do you like the life you are living?
I want you to tell yourself that you will not be the reason for your own demise. you will NOT be the reason that it’s 2026,27,28 and so on and you don’t have what you want.
please just go and apply, i don’t even know you guys and it hurts watching you kill time when you could’ve had everything a day ago, an hour ago heck even 5 minutes ago.
apply apply apply, don’t let this feeling be the reason you “fail” 💋🍑
#salemlunaa#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting#permashifting#loa#law of assumption#void state#success story#the void#void concept#respawning#i am state#pure consciousness#shifting consciousness#void#voidstate#void state tips#the void state#god state#shifters#shifting blog
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For the first time since they saved the world, since Steve carried Eddie out of hell, and their bat bites had healed, Eddie was finally hanging out with Steve without impending doom hanging over their heads. Robin was also there as she didn't want to miss Steve cooking, and Eddie didn't blame her.
"Holy fucking shit!" Eddie yelled, slamming down his fork. "Fucking marry me."
Steve blinked at him, blushing, and his mouth fell open. He quickly closed it and smiled.
"Okay!"
"Oh! I'll go get the book!" Robin exclaimed, clapping her hands as she ran off.
"Book?" Eddie asked. "What? What's going on?"
Robin soon came back with a large white binder with a lock on it. She slammed it on the table and pulled out a key from under her shirt, unlocking it.
"This is Steve’s wedding book. As his best man, I hold the key," Robin said.
"Wait, hold on, that wasn't a real - ," Eddie started to say.
"Ooh, some of these were definitely written before me. That's definitely Baby Steve’s handwriting. . . Ooh, I can just imagine little Stevie putting a white sheet over his perfect hair," Robin said. "So, Spring, Fall, Summer, or Winter?"
"I was thinking Fall-ish," Steve said. "Near the end of August, maybe in September. Not too cold, not too hot."
Robin closed her eyes and held a pen in the air. Where did the pen come from?
"August 30th! I feel it! Perfect day!" Robin exclaimed.
"Wait, just a goddamn minute! What are you doing?!" Eddie shrieked.
"Planning your wedding to Steve, duh," Robin said, rolling her eyes. "Now, Steve, are you sure about the groom?"
"Yeah," Steve said, grinning. "He's funny, very cute, and good with kids. Yeah, I'll take him."
"You like men?!" Eddie asked.
"Duh, babe, keep up. He's already told you this," Robin said.
"Fucking when?!" Eddie asked.
"In the hospital," Steve replied.
"When I was on painkillers?!" He asked.
"You still want Dustin to be the flower girl?" Robin asked Eddie.
"Oh, shit, that actually would be hilarious- no, nope, no way! This isn't happening!" Eddie yelled.
"Did you ask Steve to marry you?" Robin asked.
"Well, yes, but - "
"Did he say yes?"
"Again, yes, however - "
"Then you're engaged. Congratulations," Robin said.
"Ooh, we have enough money in the budget for weddings 2, 5, and 8!" Steve explained, looking over her shoulder.
"When I said that Steve should marry me, I wasn't -," Eddie said.
"Can you think of a reason why you shouldn't marry Steve?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't even know if I like men! I like women!" Eddie shrieked, running his hands over his face.
"You said something different in the hospital," Steve said.
"You mean, when I was on painkillers?!" He asked. "You're fucking with me. You guys are fucking with me."
"Babe, you seem stressed out by all this wedding planning," Steve said, taking his hand.
"I am VERY stressed out," Eddie said.
"Just let me and Robin handle it. I have been planning my wedding since I was like five, and trust me, I have never been a fan of big weddings, so it's going to be low-key and tasteful," Steve said, squeezing his hand.
"This is illegal," Eddie said weakly and in disbelief.
"Yeah, like none of us have ever done anything illegal," Steve rolled his eyes. "A marriage is more than just a piece of paper. Besides, I don't want the government at my wedding anyway."
"Fuck, yeah, me neither," Eddie said, shaking his head. "This is crazy!"
"Look, Eddie, I know this is sudden, and I know how scary it is to deal with all of this as well as speed running through a sexuality crisis. It's been a couple of months, but there were days where I sat by your bedside, hoping you would wake up, and when you did, I realized that I wanted to wake up next to you every morning," Steve said softly, rubbing his thumb. "I want to hear every single rant, even the ones where you're being as asshole. I love you, and if you really don't want to do this, then I'll back down."
Eddie looked into Steve’s hazel eyes, swallowing thickly as he imagined being married to him and waking up with him every day. He already knew that Steve could handle how chaotic he could be, how much he loved the kids despite his loud protests, and he remembered all the talks about their asshole fathers who basically abandoned them. Eddie remembered waking up in the hospital and seeing Steve’s relieved red rimmed eyes. He knew without a doubt that Steve was a partner that he could depend on.
"Okay! I've decided that I'm just going to let this happen!" Eddie said, throwing up his hand. "But I can't be domesticated! I refuse!"
"Wouldn't have it any other way," Steve grinned.
"Also, during one of the dances, we're playing Metallica!" He yelled.
"Done!"
Steve leaned over the table and kissed Eddie, who didn't waste a second kissing him back. Yeah, he liked it, and he wasn't ever going to kiss anyone else. On some level, he had known that as soon as he had slammed Steve against the wall of that boathouse.
"Oh my God! I'm marrying Steve Harrington!"
TWO DAYS LATER. . .
Eddie was sprawled out on the couch in his brand new living room when Wayne came in, back from his fishing trip. Eddie frowned as he tried to remember what he was supposed to be doing.
"So, how'd the dinner with Steve go?" Wayne asked.
"Well, the food was so good that I asked Steve to marry me, and he said yes," Eddie said. "It's on August 30th, save the date."
"You're hilarious, son," Wayne said, rolling his eyes. "You should be a comedian."
Suddenly, Steve burst out of the kitchen, looking flustered.
"Okay, I decided to be the bigger person here. I'm going to invite my parents to the wedding," Steve said. "If they don't come, they don't come. Hopper's already agreed to walk me down the aisle. Oh, hey, Wayne. I hope you don't mind, I wanted to cook for my fiancé and my future father in law. How was the fishing trip?"
Wayne stared at him, blinking at Steve and then at Eddie. Wayne sighed, shaking his head.
"Not a goddamn bite. Waste of a trip," Wayne said.
"Damn," Steve said and looked at the kitchen. "I have to check on the food. Sorry. I want to hear more about it!"
"Smells good, son!" Wayne yelled and plopped down on the couch next to Eddie.
"You accepted that pretty quickly," Eddie said.
"You can't do better than Steve. He went to hell and back for you. He never left your side. . .he loves you, and I can't ask for a better partner for my boy. . .speaking of why aren't you in there helping your fella?" Wayne asked.
"He kicked me out," Eddie pouted.
"You almost took my head off with a skillet!" Steve exclaimed.
"I nearly took him out, and he still wants to be with me," Eddie sighed happily and tucked his head into Wayne's shoulder. "By the way, when you walk me down the aisle, you can't let me fall, you know how I am."
"I would never let you fall."
Eddie smiled. Despite everything that happened, that's still happening. . .Eddie was happy, and he was getting married to the most wonderful guy in the entire world. Suddenly, Eddie sat up.
"Oh, no," Eddie said.
"What?"
"We told Dustin and the kids, but I didn't think to tell Ronnie," Eddie gasped.
"You mean, your best friend since you were eight?" Wayne asked.
"Yeah, I am in deep - "
Suddenly, the front door slammed open, and Ronnie Ecker stood there in all her long-legged glory.
"You're getting married to Steve Harrington?!" She asked. "And I had to hear about it from a 12 year old?!"
"He's 14, actually," Eddie said casually. "How was the trip from New York?"
Eddie suddenly remembered the thing Robin had reminded him to do: don't forget to tell your platonic soulmate.
#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#eddie stranger things#eddie munson lives#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#bisexual steve harrington#bisexual eddie munson#bi4bi#idiot4idiot#dingus4dingus#bi as hell bi the way#robin buckley#lesbian robin buckley#robin & steve#platonic stobin#platonic with a capital p#platonic soulmates#wayne munson#half crack half serious#stranger things fanfiction#rueleigh writes#rueleigh's thoughts
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Im so glad you're writing for Curly bc I'm so obsessed with him rn!! May I suggest (if you haven't done them already) some soft/fluffy post burn hcs? Like finally seing him again after a long drive to the hospital, mentally preparing yourself for what he might look like. Curly being so afraid about how you'd react, and just breaking down when you let out an "oh, Curly :(" and softly place a hand on his cheek, so worried that you might hurt him by accident that it's hardly even a touch at all. Curly leaning his cheek into your palm, having been so scared to see you and now so desperate for your touch.
Life returning to a new normal after a while, prosthetics and PT, skin grafts, so on. Lying in bed with him and being so relived and happy when he gets a spark of mischief like he used to and tries to tickle or play wrestle with you. Him quietly asking questions when the laughter dies down. if you missed his lips, or the blond hair you loved so much that now hardly grew at all. Reassuring him that it didn't matter what he looked like, or what he could and could not do anymore. He's still your curly.
Sorry this turned out so long 😭 I can't get him out of my head!
I LOVE what you wrote 🙏🙏 I'll be going off of these, taking bits and pieces of your hcs and then putting them in here. Overall just gonna be fluffy post crash Curly hcs :)
Of topic, but the way some people in this fandom treat post crash curly makes me nauseous. Finding out that some of you wouldn't treat him like I would makes me wanna cry. Maybe I'm too empathetic or maybe I'm a baby back bitch, either way, I'd care for this man so much. Y'all don't understand how much I love him.
Tw/cw; none!! One curse word but that's literally it (I think)
Not proofread
Extremely sensitive to touch for the first few weeks. I feel as though curly would be in incredible pain, but would try his best to keep your hands touching his cheeks, face, body in general. He'd even go as far as to whimper at how bad it hurt, yet still enduring it because he needed to know you still loved him.
He'd be so happy to see you anytime you were around. Just like pre crash, but it was more special. It got to the point where you would take off work for weeks at a time just to be with him, just so you could see him happy.
After the first two months of agonizing pain, you'd start touching him more. Not sexual, obviously, but just getting more physically affectionate. You'd be able to hug and kiss him goodbye, and hold on to his arm as you talked with him.
Speaking of talking, he wouldn't be able to, so you would talk for him. Basically telling him something, then answering any questions he may or may not have. You've known him long enough, you know how he'd react and question things, so it was practically a no brainer for you.
Now that he doesn't feel as much pain as he used to from your touches, you'd begin sleeping with him. NOT SEXUAL!!! Just cuddling up next to him in the hospital bed, laying your head on his shoulders and kissing him goodnight. Just like how you used to.
Eventually he'd start getting prosthetics, and aside from the physical therapy he's usually getting, you'd bring board games and playing cards so he could learn to use his new hands while still spending time with you.
Curly used to kick your ass in uno and honestly he still does. The trembling in his hands would slowly go away over time, and you were helping him with that much more than his physical therapist was; because at least he wanted to actually be around you.
After months and months, he'd finally be ready to take home. New prosthetics and a bunch of skin graft surgeries later, he's in good condition again. Not perfect in his eyes, but it is in yours.
He wouldn't be able to work, but Pony Express sends him checks as if he was. He gets enough from them, you could quit your job, but you don't want to be dependent on them. So you keep working.
Getting home from work is your favorite part of the day, having Curly be so happy to see you makes everything so worth it.
Your home life goes back to normal with a few exceptions, but nothing too drastic. Curly being in a wheelchair and still not being able to speak, but it's nothing you can't handle. You love him, you're willing to make sacrifices. He'd do the same for you, and you know that.
Bonus content; if you guys were married before the crash, once he got his prosthetic hands, he'd have you help him make a little beaded necklace for his ring to go on; that way he could still wear it :) he'd never take the necklace off once it's done
A/N; I've been pretty busy recently so sorry for the delay on requests; I have a lot of ideas for them though so hopefully they'll be out soon
#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing x reader#captain curly x reader#curly x reader#captain curly#i love him so much you guys dont understand id sell my nephew for him#AND my nieces
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"bug? you still there?"
roach jolted awake, nodding before he remembered ghost couldn't see him. "mhm," he hummed, hoping the affirmative was loud enough that ghost would hear.
"thought i lost ya there for a second," ghost teased. "gettin' sleepy on me again?"
just a little, but im fine, roach typed into their chat.
"hm," ghost mused into his mic. roach blinked and refocused on the stream; ghost was playing stardew valley for him again. they were quiet for a moment as ghost made quick work of harvesting some rice and jogging over to the barn his livestock were in. "if you're tired i can just cut it here, its not a big deal."
no no no, its fine! roach typed quickly. i like listening to you talk.
it was far from the first time he'd said it, but every time he said it now it felt...heavier, somehow. like there was more...something in it.
it had been a few months of this; they took turns streaming games for each other as a way to chat and hang out and over the course of their time doing it roach had found himself feeling more and more...something for ghost. he'd never had such a strong feeling about anyone before, nothing even close; he'd never felt so happy and calm and content to just listen to someone before.
ghosts accent was unique to his american ears, something he wasnt used to but that he enjoyed enormously. something lilting and calm and just distinctly ghost that made him smile every time the call connected and ghost said "hey bug." the gentle inflection, the sweet nickname, all of it just very...as much as roach felt flutters in his stomach admitting it (even in his own mind), it was just theirs.
presently ghost chuckled at the freely given compliment. "i love that you like to listen to me."
they always did it like this; a voice call for roach to listen to ghost when he streamed, and a video stream with chat when roach played survival horror for ghost. roach relied on sign and expressions/body language to convey his moods/reactions, and while ghost was still trying to pick up on some of the ASL roach frequently used (like 'why' and 'do not want') he hoped that ghost appreciated being able to see him.
ghost had told him early on that video calls made him feel a little awkward and that's why he just preferred voice, and even though he couldn't talk back roach was happy to do it this way. their way. more than anything he wanted ghost to feel comfortable and was ever grateful that he got to listen to him at all.
he smiled and cuddled his blåhaj closer, propping himself up against the wall behind his bed to try and stay awake. something about listening to ghost narrate what he was doing while he walked around his farm or the caves or even just stood and fished, wanting to get every single type of fish possible, made him feel so content and calm and frankly, safe. he felt embarrassed to even have the thought, but sometimes when he closed his eyes while ghost was talking he wondered if that was what it would feel like to have ghost really sitting next to him, talking to him close while he played maybe on a switch or on his laptop. he wondered if ghost would want them to sit close enough to be touching softly, maybe their legs pressed up against each otherwhile roach sleepily enjoyed his narrations.
"do you think i should bother with more chickens? or maybe more ducks? i like having the extra mayo for sale," ghost was musing out loud.
"hmmm," roach hummed thoughtfully. i'd go for a few more ducks as long as the hay to feed them isnt too expensive, he typed into their chat. they're cute and i love how you named them all after sanrio characters. you could call the next one tuxedo sam.
"true, kuromi the void duck was the last one i got, and that was a while ago," ghost considered. "and that big blue penguin is damn cute."
roach smiled. he loved ghost's fixation on sanrio characters, finding it as endearing as he was realizing he found just about everything else about ghost.
"are you sure you're not too tired?" ghost asked one more time. "its almost the end of the in game day and my save isn't going anywhere."
roach bit his lip. one more day? he asked. then i should probably go to sleep; its almost 1am here.
ghost chuckled over the call. "alright," he agreed. "one more day."
#roachghost#theyre an hour apart time zone wise#ghost is living in america for this one#ghost is in new york for a masters program#and roach is in tennessee because in my mind roach is from tennessee#roach is aroflux and not sure exactly what hes feeling but it makes him fluttery and happy and its definitely stronger than anything hes#felt for anyone before#hes like that because. um.#yeah#u know#ghostroach#gary roach sanderson#simon ghost riley#roach x ghost#ghost x roach#roach cod#cod roach#call of duty roach#roach call of duty#roast#mute gary roach sanderson#mute roach#this is insanely impulsive but i just. wanted to write it#this concept/au is. important for me#wrote this all right now in one sitting and now its time to go take a shower and then go straight to sleep cause a bitch has a sore throat#and i am NOT fucking happy about it /sob emoji/
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first of all, im sorry it took me a while to respond. i took a break from tumblr the last couple days because i was overwhelmed, and id rather prioritise my immediate mental health than a response that could be written/read any time. and tbh with exams and school and looking at sixth form open evenings i havent looked at my phone much.
genuinely i am a little confused as to where i said i didn’t know any BIPOC people? like i cant find which part of my post said that but ig i can assure you thats not true- i live in a big city and the majority of people at my school are non white
the thing is: i haven’t been in the fandom for months. i joined/started watching the show no more than 3 weeks ago, so i haven’t been around for much or really interacted with most parts of the fandom in depth. so i was basing my post of the limited amount i have seen, but i can see now that i shouldn’t have posted anything when i didn’t have a good idea of what i was talking about. i apologise for that, and for generalising a whole fandom. i know i probably wont be able to convince you, and that’s alright, but i do give a fuck. so im sorry again about the post, and that i made you feel like you had to spend your time and energy responding.
(i read that article, by the way. i’ll avoid using that phrase in the future. also, you’re right that i haven’t read many anti racism sources, so id be interested if you did have any recommendations. its not your job to teach me tho, so i can find some myself if not)
hey im a white queer so maybe im calling a spade a spade but bucktommy feels like such a white gay ship. like we made the attractive white guys kiss so lets pretend the racism plot was resolved offscreen.
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i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess
#they say they dont mind but i need to really. stop#im stuck.#and i know it’s hard on my friends to see me like this since i’ve been doing a lot better and now am back to my old habits#but i felt bad because they took me out shopping and to dinner tonight and i just had a headache and was limping and couldnt stop talking#about the recent death in my family and all the stress from classes and socially and how lost i feel#and i just wanted so bad to just. enjoy myself but i couldnt#but my friends know about how severe my depression is and are all very used to it#its in fact more normal than not. but i was really. feeling at my best for several months so the crash back down to not eating and sleeping#and being unable to fully tidy my room and all that stuff has been. difficult for me as well as those around me#it’s been normal for me for so long to live terribly that taking care of myself for a while and then losing the drive to has been. hard#im trying to get better but i slide back down#i need to work on my constant self loathing but i keep walking around just. conviced im such a burden and being sad makes it even worse#i just. am always overcompensating for my lack of#ability to love myself with just. constantly showering everyone around me with love and its. hard for me when i dont have the energy to do#even that anymore. its hard to let people take care of me when i just want to take care of them all the time
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You doing ok?
hi
#i'm alive. simply being chewed upon by multiple things#work is more stressful than i'd like it to be. for instance i'm hoping that i submitted my time off notification for tomorrow correctly#because otherwise it might read as a no call no show and i would . like to continue having a job#now to be fair. i do have it on the system that i requested it at the beginning of the month and i emailed my supervisor about it last week#so even if i didn't submit it correctly i'm likely in the clear#but nonetheless. i also got a firm talking-to the other day and now i am on ✨thin ice✨ for dicking around too much#because they track ur idle time at my work (computer) and mine was Quite High so my supervisor was like man what the hell is this#but even though she was kind of baffled at me spending so much time dicking around#she couldn't even really be all that mad in the end because i'm still doing good numbers and have made no (zero) mistakes#so she was just like. it's kind of impressive that your numbers look this good when you literally have 50% idle time#so she goes imagine what you could do if you weren't wasting so much time#and yeah i can whip out some Really Good Numbrers when i put the effort in.#so the problem is not my numbers it's just that i'm not spending long enough doing my tasks for the day#but i don't want to drag out those tasks intentionally so i've just been upping my own standards/goals#as much as i hate giving any more of my brain power than is necessary to giant corporations#it's still easy to feel smug after you get Talked To and then immediately turn around and show off#like yeah i coulda been doing this good the whole time. literally pulling up by 20 points. i just didn't want to.#trying to keep everyone's expectations low but accidentally toed the line of um. not working enough to keep my job#...anyway. EAS national weather system issued a . hi#i haven't forgotten about all of you i'm just having trouble tracking all my shit that i got going on ✨ yaaaaaaay#im gonna post things on AO3 soon. i promise. my weakness is that i get sidetracked trying to unwind from work#...i know i said 'soon' last time. but this time for real#asks#not sexy#anonymous
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If your friends give you some good ways to get iron back besides supplements, please share with the class 😅 only realized i was anemic recently after dealing with it for years :') no pressure! just thought i might ask since i don't know anyone anemic myself
I have been told! High iron foods are your friends. Red meat [though chicken also has a decent iron content], and organ meat specifically [liver, heart, tongue] are high in iron. Leafy greens like spinach and collard greens, as well as broccoli and peas. There are also high iron cereals you can buy. They tend to be on the more bland end of the cereal spectrum, but still good.
[I personally like the frosted mini wheaties. The crunch... So good...]
Also, sometimes the issue is less iron intake, and more your iron absorption. Vitamin C can sometimes help with that. Citrus fruits are a good pick. I'm thinking about grabbing some nectarines since they keep for ages. They get expensive this time of year though, which sucks >:/
Multivitamins are always a choice as well, if you don't wanna change your diet, or have food problems and can't/don't like the new foods. [I know you said you don't like supplements, but I am sharing everything I've learned with the class.]
I personally don't like how expensive they are, but the convenience is nice. I've been told iron pills can make your stomach upset though, and vitamins in general have mixed results for people. I would do your own reading on that.
That's! All I got! Good luck with your blood!
#anonymous#anemia#health#blood#my roommate is thrilled we are having more than one red meat meal a month#[i prefer chicken to just about everything else rip]#and we actually have cow heart and tongue in our freezer#which we originally were going to give to the dog but.............#hhhhhh...............#mine now i guess#anyway i made steak with peas and rice last night#and the night before i had meatloaf with broccoli#and i feel like ive been raised from the dead its nuts#still get randomly light headed#and i have random mood / energy crashes#but i no longer feel like im dragging around my own corpse so ill take it
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Ye olde cat boys....
(I'm working on a bigger piece rn, so I colored this sketch in the meantime :DD)
I realized this is basically a more realized version of a sketch from really early boy king days:
#gah jfc i havent posted a full drawing in more than a month 😭😭😭#i need to remind myself drawing over sketches actually turns out pretty good!!!#still stuck in that 'lineart needs to be perfect' brain even though i often draw over it anyways#cat boy vettonso haunt me on the daily........#they're both cat coded!!!!!!!!!!#i should write a lore post abr this concept but idk what it'd be 😭😭#how they would act if they were catboys.....#hissing for sure. much grooming. many zoomies. poor mark 😞#very happy w this :D cause the sketch concept has been in the back of my mind a while#and im like ILL JUST TRY DRAWING IT OKAY#this feels weirdly nostalgic in the approach to the anniversary of this au#it feels very much like smth i would have drawn back then#well smth i would've drawn now too but like. my past self would be like woah! you did it!#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#catie.art.#boy king au
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dandelion is indeed the worst but if he’s not present in the next book i would legitimately be sorrowful as the whole thing will become a slog . you basically cannot have the “short stories” era-of-the-timeline iteration of geralt without dandelion, it would be like eating unbuttered bread.
though it’s not like season of storms did them dirty, i wasn’t disappointed with it (… with regards to them), but since it’s literally been over 20 years since the saga was finished i’m trying to prepare for any potential reality
#however i will accept an absence of dandelion IN THE CASE OF we get to see geralt and yennefer living together in vengerberg#but if it’s regular geralt day in the life then if dandelion’s not there it’s gonna suuuuuccckk#i mean as in geralt’s life sucks without him. badly#and it also? sucks with him. good-ly.#it’s august and we don’t have a title yetttt 🥲 and they said 2024 … hmhm sure#i just feel like rupaul ‘and don’t fuck it up’.gif#like i’m excited but also wtf? new witcher book? are we on punk’d?#it’s not going to be the best but i’m hoping it will be at least as good as season of storms. not a high bar ok!#this from the person who was optimistic about the n*tflix show. don’t trust me i like to believe in the future#i was going to say ‘and i trust sapkowski more than i trust n*tflix’ and then i laughed.#i don’t trust him—i don’t even trust the version of him from the 90s and 00s!#one side of me can’t believe i’m still here after the guardswomen of kerack. and the ‘well i’m only gay for clout’ villain motivations#the other side of me is intensely curious wtf geralt will get up to this time and how witcher could maybe even denigrate further#but season of storms ending was actually good and = well it’s not like sapkowski forgot what it was about#then again it’s been 10 years and a bad adaptation since then so im biting my nails#all i ask : please stick with the naming convention of the other books. i don’t want to write an absurdly long or short name or acronym out#sooooo weird that in a few months i will be saying: there are 9 witcher books.#actually rn i just say there’s 7 and discount season of storms as a legitimate heir but mention it as footnote lol#i just hope i can survive until this new book and until its translation LOLLLL#they said translation in 2025 but you know the track record#new book: *releases winter 2024* | english translation: coming 2045!#jk i think they finally figured out that witcher is a money printer so they will be eager to translate it now and not waffle around#they kicked their butts into gear with the hussite trilogy so ! and they made new hardcovers.#the elbow-high diaries#new book 2024
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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HELLO here is............ reference art for my liam design/interpretation!!!!!! a lot of these r ideas ive already had and/or included in my liam art already BUT !!! now its all in ONE PLACE!!!! :)
#hfjone#liam plecak#hfjone liam#hfjone backpack#my art#i feel like there was more i couldve added but i sifted thru my liam ref art and couldnt find any#but!!!! im very happy w how i draw him so this was fun to put all in smth :)#esp bc i was able to explain my thought processes on him a bit more!!!! bc i put. SO much thought into how i draw him#its why my design for him changed like every week for a few months a good while back. was adding n adjusting stuff SM#this is not even counting the bone diagrams i made. i am not including the bone diagrams#(theyre just for limbs but ive spent a long time on this already and im TIRED its been over 5 hrs and it is now 2 am)#BUT!! this will be queued for a good time !!!so i may not be awake when this is posted lol!!!#(also i am VERY much willing to discuss my designs if thats smth anyone wants to ask abt.... i have so many ideas)#additional fun fact that i specifically dont draw his shoulder ANY higher than his pocket bc thats as high as it goes on my design#ANYWAY im tired so im gonna queue this now
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they’re so cute. choso and yuuji’s brotherly bond is everything to me
#how does it feel to have my top 3 fav characters shine in the past few chapters? excellent#jjk spoilers#jjk 258#choso#itadori yuuji#their sibling relationship is so interesting and good.#idk if it’s because I’ve been too busy to really delve into the chapters the past couple months#but i actually had a blast casually reading these#i feel like I’m starting to get an idea of where it’s heading and feeling much more positive about it than before#like some of the ways we got to this point was. badly executed. not good.#but for what we have now—it’s at a great point and im excited for the next chapters#i am very biased as a maki yuuji and Choso fan though :)#if only kenjaku was still around I’d be even MORE excited#id in alt
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feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole
#hivemind tv#hmfcu#riley savage#graydon weaver#quadeca#jane remover#eden burke#my art#2023#fanart#doodles#furry#its like. augh. longtime fleouriarts followers are familiar with my eternal tango with posting art online#doing this since i was 11 has like rotted my brain and made me rely wayyyy too much on external validation to motivate myself#and every year or so it gets bad enough that i take a break. but the break usually only lasts a month before i miss the feeling#and come back and then the cycle repeats#its probably worse now bc this is a fandom where getting seen by the creators is not really that hard#so there have been times where im like 'well idk if i wanna draw this. but if i do maybe hivemind will rt it :-)'#NO!!! THATS NOT WHAT ART IS ABOUT!!!!! i cant keep letting myself get addicted to the numbers going up man i gotta get out of here#and i was reading a quad interview from around when idmthy got released. cus hes also brain poisoned like this. but he managed to get out#and now just kinda comes online to release music and then leave#i need to be like that. i need to take a break from art posting thats so long that i come back as a changed man odysseus style#idk. its been so long since i drew stuff that no one gets to see but me. all the art i keep to myself is just out of embarrassment#i need to relearn how to draw stuff just for the love of creation and not “maybe people online will like this one”#or “this new thing came out i need to prove my love of it by drawing it”#sometimes it leads to good art but more often than not it just makes me feel worse#whatever. if any of yall are in the hivemind jane or quadeca discord i MIGHT still post stuff there. but otherwise ill keep to myself and m#friends for a while i think#woooooo this is queued to post while im in orgo lab everyone wish me luck with my thin layer chromatography
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as of ten minutes ago we are officially Jobless™️. my sign to retire early and devote the remainder of my existence to writing toxic old man yaoi
#pennforyourthoughts#personal#someone rb this with silly tags i feel it deserves some levity#warning: novel-length tags lmfao#THEY TOLD ME TODAY MY LAST DAY IS FRIDAY? that's only two whole workdays for me HELLO??#knew it was coming bc they let my friend go two weeks ago and he had more seniority than me but jfc#at least let me ride out the contract till november. WHY. i JUST went back to uni i need money goddamn it#full disclosure tho i haven't been able to stop laughing bc so much of the surrounding circumstances are insanely funny to me#1) i was LITERALLY at a job fair yesterday and I almost considered not going bc I was so damn tired#surprisingly made some really great connections so ty universe now i have people to poke in the coming months#2) i switched from part time to ft course load at the last second and have been regretting it ever since but if im to be unemployed then#MAYBE now I can actually handle the uni workload :D#3) when my boss called me she asked how ive been and i told her i was sooo sick last week and got into a car accident#that same day omw back from uni (universal karma for skipping class for my health ig)#THE WAY SHE PAUSED ON CALL IS SO FUNNY IN RETROSPECT. was prolly thinking fuck. now i have to add to this#she literally went “omg im so sorry...anyways i have bad news”#im not even lying when i say i was GIGGLING through that whole call she was so concerned#love her bc she genuinely tried to fight for me and is the reason i wasn't let go two weeks ago but man. the timing is impeccable#also don't think i get any unemployment benefits bc i was temp contract and my situation as a whole is a bit complicated so YAY :DDD#the way i ran to my bestie to spill the tea & we're over here like ���� fired buddies 🤝 time to speed run job interviews while juggling uni
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Question for the girlies how do we feel about the bra being visible (for my short n sweet outfit)
#when i see other girls wearing tank tops with their bra straps showing im like oh they look cute!!#when i see it on myself im like is this trashy 🤨#ive been buying and returning this one strapless bra for months#trying to get one that fits#the one i have now is a little too big in the cups#and i dont have time to return it and get a new one again#and its a nude color and shows under my arms#and it stretches the top out more and i think looks definitely worse than this bra that fits showing a little more#im also looking at those super cropped lo g sleeve shrugs#so it will cover my shoulders more but not hide the top#and the other option is a sticky bra pr tape#which ive never used before and do not feel confident in their effectiveness on my body 😭#im leaning towards this and a shrug#how do we feel about that
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