#but im at the point where im done trying to make it better

[ivysprophecy]

slim pickins

warnings; bad date? mentions of sex, cursing underage drinking and yes i meant for it to be written poorly i was trying to keep the humor of the album in the writing

no pressure tags; @murdockcastleslut @kimoralov3 @arkofblake

word count; 1911

summary; youre tired of not finding a decent guy who will treat you right and lay you right. at least not one you've known since you were kids. however you just cant help yourself. besides its slim pickins out here you take what you can get.

divider by @bernardsbendystraws

i wanna make one thing clear, when i say there are no good guys left i do not wanna hear about you and your boyfriend of three years that can cook and loves your mom.

thats exactly what im talking about maddie!!! i dont give two fucks that he took you to barnes and noble and bought you every book you wanted.

they are all taken. its plain and simple.

which is why even with a full roster, im stuck taking fucking zander, yes with a z, to my friends' kegger.

i mean yea hes cute. hes tall, built but not that gross kind of muscly. but if were being real i shouldve known better when he was joking about being a male stripper when hes a ginger.

and i can tell kie is judging me, rightfully so. her side eye is lethal. when i introduced him to everyone she asked him about his greta van fleet tee and he said he didn't even know it was a band.

needless to say pope had to drag her away.

after that incident i decided it was best if we tried to talk away from the rest of the group. boy was i wrong.

"so what do you like to drink? ill go grab us something," i offer trying to start the conversation, also avoiding the usual problem with taking a drink from men.

"im good with whatever"

i like to think im not a violent person, but im about to be.

"does a beer sound okay?" i ask him grabbing a twisted tea for me from the cooler.

"sure thing." god why is he acting like such a bitch? i should ask him if he's on his period.

i hand him the can, our fingers brush and its my final clue for the night that i am definitely not going home with him. no spark at all. hes done just about everything else to piss me off.

he did the thing where he licks his lips exaggeratingly looking me up and down, making a point to make sure i saw.

he walks so slow for being 6'3.

and finally he tried to mansplain my career to me. i'd had just enough when he opens his mouth again

"ew, you like twisted tea? who likes sweet tea?" his face contorted in disgust, it was about to contort from my fist breaking his goddamn nose if he keeps talking to me like this.

"we literally live in the south dude." my face could not make it any clearer i am so done with this guy.

"still, sweet tea is disgusting. im not kissing anyone that drinks that nasty shit."

"who said i wanted to kiss your nasty fucking mou-" i was interrupted by the sound of a very familiar giggle behind me as his arm wrapped around my shoulder, the smell of his deodorant and sea salt that cover his skin start to put you at ease.

jj was always there when you needed him, sometimes even when you didnt but right now you couldn't be more grateful. "im glad you found those mama i got em just for you. remembered theyre your favorite. right?"

and you wanna know the best part? zander is shaking already pissed off that jj is at my side. territorial i guess.

"you mind?" he asks him nodding his head at me like im not even there.

jj cant help but laugh at him "yea bud i do mind. she's hanging out with me tonight. have fun with your ipa dick." and with that he steers us off to where the rest of the pogues are.

but not before i can look over my shoulder and give the ginger an innocent smile and a shrug as if i had no control over the situation, when really id pick jj over anyone else.

"you owe me a big fat kiss mama," jj whispers in my ear walking us over to where our friends are standing, drinks in their hands laughing and chatting up a storm.

"in your dreams honey."

"every night all night," he quips back before i shove him off me.

now before you give me shit, jj and i have had our fair share of fun, but unfortunately im starting to look for something more serious.

watching john b and sarah be disgusting together is getting to my head. popes got something going on with cleo and im starting to recognize the pattern. and before i know it everyone will be in love if i don't start making an effort in that department.

random casual hook ups aren't doing it anymore, especially considering they aren't even that good.

unless theyre with jj.

but hes not an option, theres too much drama. too much history. too much too much too much. im not what he needs and i know for a fact he doesn't want me in that sense.

is that a bit dramatic? probably.

i mean hes a great lay, he's hilarious, he's got that blue collar kind of muscle, and he genuinely cares about me.

so of course im not going to date him, why would i?

what do you mean make good decisions? id rather do things in the most difficult way possible!

"y/n youve gotta stop giving those guys a chance, im starting to feel bad for you."

"you try finding a decent guy in a ten mile radius." i glare at him, obviously not wanting to joke about this right now.

he sticks his hand out in front of me, "fine i will. let me see your phone."

curious to see what he will do i hand it too him unlocked, he swipes and taps for a few moments, smiling down at the phone before handing it back to you.

when you look back down at the screen all you see is your instagram open with his stupid fucking smiley face on the screen.

he took a picture of himself and posted to my story. written on the screen in bubble letters in my favorite colored heart 'my favorite guy <3'

"i think he's your best bet." that same smile facing back at me now, cockier than ever. so smug i wanna kiss it off his face

i cant help but roll my eyes. "jj im serious! at this rate im going to die alone. every decent guy is taken or unavailable. all i want is someone funny, kind, and attractive is that too much to ask for?"

"im right in front of you mama you dont gotta look far."

"jj we both know we're not the serious kind of relationship im talking about."

"you can think what you want too but ill be here waiting for that kiss you owe me."

"i think all that tequila youve been sipping has gone to your head maybank."

he stands in front of me, taking his signature red cap off his head and putting it on mine smiling down at me, "what do they say in those books you read? you wear the hat you ride the cowboy?"

"this no ten gallon hat and you are no cowboy."

we laugh at each other, its always been easier to do that then actually talk about our feelings. so i put his hat back on his head, backwards the way he i likes it.

"cmon y/n/n, have a few more drinks, relax and hang out and ill make you feel all better later yea? its what im best at, you know."

"its gonna take more than a few more teas to convince me jj"

"what about that thing you like that i do with my tongue, huh mama? doesnt that sound pretty good right now? i think it does."

"i give you one fucking compliment and it goes straight to your head."

"technically its about my head so that makes perfect sense," he hands me another can with that stupid signature smirk of his and his stupid sexy hat backwards. i hate to admit it's working on me.

just like it does every other time.

i squint my eyes at him taking the can, rolling the idea around in my head. "fuck it. its not like anyone else is offering," i take a big sip of my drink.

jj pumps his fist in the air like a victorious idiot giving a few woots and hollars before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder despite my wishes.

"jb!!" he shouts turning around to face him, "we're headed out!"

john b looks at the two of us shaking his head at how im kicking my feet to wiggle out of jjs oddly strong grip. "make sure you change the sheets when youre done!"

oh my god he did not just say that. "fuck both of you!"

jj just laughs carrying you back to the chateau like a kid who's excited to use a brand new birthday present.

"what happened to letting me have a few more drinks before we left??"

"youre just too irresistable mama, gotta have you now,' he gives my ass a light slap for good measure causing me to roll my eyes for the 600th time tonight.

"are you gonna put me down now?"

he pretends to look like hes thinking about it, "i guess. only so i can watch you walk away," he does as he says helping me get my feet on the ground.

"youre a pervert."

"no im flirtatious, and you love it, you know it makes you blush i see it. now go on and give me a lil walk yea?"

oh im gonna kill him...

oh wait! im gonna kill him!

"okay... fine. but no touching until we get home," i smile walking away exactly like he asked, but i know behind me he is a puddle of mud. standing still, about to start begging me to let him.

he finally catches up after a few seconds "mama please- cmon thats not fair. you look too good in those shorts you know i cant wait that long. just wanna feel you."

i cant help but giggle at his words, its honestly adorable how mopey he gets. like i just kicked his puppy or something.

"hands of jj i mean it... not until that door shuts behind us."

it didn't really matter that i can see the chateau or that ill be there in literally a minute.

its actually painful for jj to not be able to touch me as he pleases.

i turn around to face him with a cheeky smile. "you want me maybank?"

and of course he nods so hard it looks like his head is going to fall right off.

"come and get me," running towards the house, i can see the moment when his reflexes kick in, his boots thudding against the ground as he gains on me.

just before i can make it to the poarch jj wraps his arms around me, lifting me a few inches off the ground and spinning me around in a fit of laughter.

"okay! okay okay okay you win- you got me."

"oh ive got you mama, and im havin you for the rest of the fucking night," he presses a kiss to my neck hauling me inside, the screen door slamming shut after us.

am i gonna regret this tomorrow? most likely.

but what can i say? its slim pickins in this part of town.

[ganondoodle]

i have seen people talk about how hard it is to draw anything if you have aphantasia (which is good to talk about and true and valid and also intersting to read and this post isnt to devalue that, two things can coexist etc etc)

i personally struggle with the opposite; i have incredible imagination, i'd say it's my best and only "inate talent", (this is not a brag ..) all stories i think about are movies, i can stop them, change camera angle and poses, rotate ever object however i want, place lighting sound and voices, even styles, i switch from ghibli to botw to fortiches style, even into the style of a comic i recently read which wasnt even animated, the only thing that only works half the time is music-

and that all might sound fantastic, but its a mess, it goes too fast and too quickly, things never play out one way, theres interruption, involuntarily sudden changes to other subjects, i feel like struggling to keep an angry horse on one path, it makes me waste HOURS each day just reversing and redoing a scene like im a movie director wizard in my head, theres no ONE finished version, it changes everytime yet i go back over and over again to make it better, i forget most of it within a few hours anyway; even IRL when someone tells me about a memory and they are not sure if i was with them during it once they start to explain trying to make me remember it instead i will imagine it, in the end i wont be sure if i actually remembered or if i just imagined it too real, it scares me how much i forget and cant remember only for my mind to make shit up, makign me doubt my own memory (its weird how it works, i have horrible geographical memory, when i drive somwhere i have known my entire life i need to remember the path to it by imagining driving it, i remember significant things but not the path to them or how they connect or in what order, i have to go through it in my head every single time)

by far the worst part though is that extreme disconnect between whats in my mind and what i can do, just because i can imagine things like that doesnt mean i can draw it (god i WISH), nothing i have ever drawn is how it was in my head, the few things you get to see are the ones i won the fight against myself with to keep going and say 'good enough' at some point the speed is a problem too, the things playing in my head, sometimes even multiple at the same time, play like, again, a movie, whatever im trying to draw is rarely ONE thing, its a whole scene that plays over and over, i want to draw it all but it wont work bc my mind is too fast and i am too slow, it makes me try to skip ahead and get things done as fast as possible, it NEVER works (also too much, theres so many things in my head, i have almost the entirety of the totk rewrite in my head already, novels worth of lore and story for my other projects, its overwhelming how much is in there that i cannot get out and on paper)

its why comics take me so long to make, why detailed paintings are so rare, its the rare times i can force myself to try and tune out my mind and just work on what is in front of me, usually works for a few hours .. if i can manage to reach that sort of focus at all, its why basic sketches of characters are so much easier to do bc i dont have to fight as hard to just draw a character doing nothing- as soon as i want to make it a sketch page of things and scenes the movies are back and are there to haunt me until i cry and give up after hours of trying to keep up with my mind that i will never be able to catch up to (and this is only about drawing .. )

i know skill and speed increase over time, but i wont ever get to where my mind is, its always ahead and trying to skip and jump towards it only makes me stumble and fall flat on my face- maybe its ADHD, maybe its the autism, maybe its the depression, maybe its just me, maybe its just all of that

what im trying to say is, head full, too much thought, too fast, never able to translate it into viewable things in the way and speed as my head works, i explode

[derangedfujoshi]

hope this doesnt come off as rude or anything, im not trying to sound condescending, but the reason people dont like the christian anime loli girl thing is because she has a missionary rosary and its pretty racist. both the act of being a missionary in itself and also the color meaning on the beads. you can look it up if youd like. i dont want to tell you what to do or anything, because it is a cute design, so i understand where youre coming from, i just wanted you to be aware of what was going on just in case. have a good day :)

Damn anon I was writing a long, thoroughly thought reply to this with all the implications of being an italian non cis lesbian living in the same fucking city as the Pope but Tumblr ate it and I have no intention on rewriting it so you'll get the short version instead, sorry :(

The short version is that I don't give a shit because I'm an italian adult who's not constantly online and so I point and laugh at the ridiculous attempt of the Vatican to appeal to the youth, not by reforming the institution of the church but by creating a fucking ANIME GIRL MASCOT! It's ridiculous and pointless and to add another delicious layer to this absurd cake the designer previously collabed with a sex toy brand and did a Pride collection which made some people reeeeaaally mad within the church which only made the situation even FUNNIER! You can't make this shit up.

"but she's a missionary did you know that was bad" no fucking SHIT Sherlock, I studied history in school plus I hate the church as an institution but Luce is 1) not real so she hasn't "done" anything and 2) absolutely not that serious.

My dude we've been lewding her and her friends since the SECOND they released her, why do you think? Because we're pulling the middle finger at the church in a hotter and funnier way than whining online. Maybe do that instead and you'll feel better. That or block her tag ig but if some stupid ass anime loli mascot upsets you "because of racism" maybe you should sit down and re-evaluate what really counts as a problem to be mad at :)

[savage-rhi]

Immortal Shield Chapter 42: Eripere II

**DM or comment if you want to be tagged in updates on tumblr

**To read previous chapters, hit this link

Tagging: @seradyn​

Time was but a mere concept Caelan couldn’t grasp. She ran through the city streets of Altissa until her legs burned, and her muscles yearned for respite. There were so many faces that flew past her, that all she could register were blurry shapes. Buildings melted into a messy hue of colors. It was all too much.

Caelan’s mind couldn’t fathom the basics of reality. Not with how exhausted her body had been running on fumes. She hadn’t felt this tired since the incident with Serpo. Ironically she found herself wishing to be back in that situation versus her current predicament. At least there was a light at the end of the tunnel, in the form of Ardyn during that time.

Caelan ducked into a dark alley, keeping herself small and inconspicuous. She pressed her back to a textured wall and closed her eyes. Panting heavily, Caelan tried to ease her senses. It seemed her brain would never escape the drowning sea of thought coming at her. There was panic throughout the capitol. She could hear the commotion far and wide. Average folks trying to make sense of a chaotic disruption through no fault of their own.

Suddenly, Caelan felt a palm cover her mouth. She screamed into the flesh, feeling her body quickly turn around. She made a fist with her right hand and punched her assailant square in the jaw. A painful yelp registered in Caelan's ears while she stumbled away.

“Try it again, I dare you!” Caelan yelled. Despite the deep sting of her palms being sliced, Caelan summoned her blade to her right hand. She was more than prepared to stab whoever this was. Not in the mood for games given what she had just endured.

“It’s reassuring you haven’t lost your touch, but did you really need to do that?”

Caelan’s breaths became uneven. The mellow rich voice had her freeze in place. Her body instantly became warm at the familiar cadence. Her eyes squinted, unable to see much down the alley. Upon hearing footsteps draw closer, Caelan immediately lunged her weapon forward out of defense. The sword pressed against the throat of the imposter.

“A-Ardyn?”

Coming out of the shadows with her blade to his flesh, Ardyn revealed himself. He flinched upon feeling the steel nick his skin. The heat from his own blood made Ardyn let out a breath. While his eyes bore into Caelan’s--hypnotizing her into remaining still--Ardyn slowly moved away from the blade.

"How in--"

"Shh," He interrupted.

Ardyn leisurely took his right index finger and pressed at the tip of the sword. He walked towards Caelan, all the while Ardyn’s finger slid down the length of the blade and to the hilt. His hand covered Caelan’s fingers, offering a familial grasp. A strong resonating silence fell between them. Ardyn allowed Caelan time to register he was here. Not the raging man she had seen back at the court, but himself. He felt his legs grow weak the longer he stared at her.

“Darling,” Ardyn sighed in relief. His smile betrayed all feelings of euphoria he felt towards her.

“You--!” Caelan choked out.  Her right hand weakly dropped her sword. The weapon disappeared before it hit the ground.

Caelan felt Ardyn’s hands immediately go to her face. His fingertips traced over her skin with reverence, a worship she recalled when they first became intimate. Caelan couldn’t help but lean into his touch. She closed her eyes, afraid that when she’d open them he’d be gone again.

Ardyn glared, his grip tightened around Caelan’s cheeks while he shook his head. He couldn’t believe the sorry state she was in. Caelan hadn’t looked herself in the courthouse. Now that he was close and personal with his beloved, Ardyn could see the damages. Her skin was pale. Her eyes were sunken, and he could feel more of Caelan’s jawline from the loss of fat and tissue. The temptation to go back to the courts and slaughter all who were responsible was strong, but Ardyn yielded to his heart. He was touching her again. That’s what mattered most.

“My sweet girl, what have they done to you?” Ardyn murmured. His voice was filled with the deepest of concerns. His heart skipped a beat, watching her eyes open.

“Your eyes are blue.” Caelan whispered. Her gaze bounced between Ardyn’s lips and the striking cerulean orbs that were peering deeply back into her. Out of all the curses she had ready for him, of all the questions that rampaged through her mind, Caelan’s thoughts were blank. All she could focus on was Ardyn. His warm breath. His touch. His scent. Everything that was an indication he was alive.

“That they are.” Ardyn smirked. His nose nudged hers, nuzzling for a time as he leaned forward.

Heavy breaths blended while Ardyn and Caelan deeply kissed. Hands and tongues wasted no time getting reacquainted. Fingertips locked into hair and bodies melted against each other. Relieved whimpers and groans reverberated past both their mouths. Had circumstances been in better standing, their intimacy would’ve blossomed more. The separation had been hard on them both.

As much as it pained him to no end, Ardyn was the first to part ways. He swallowed, then calmly took Caelan’s right hand into his left, and gestured with his head.

“We have to go, quickly!”

There was no hesitation on Caelan’s part. She gave a nod and sprinted alongside Ardyn through the narrow passage of the alley. Adrenaline once more offered its aid to her.

“Did you really kill them back there, Prompto and Gladio?” Caelan couldn’t help but ask as they came to the end. Ardyn had them both make a hard left. They were now in a plaza when a sudden tsunami of bodies came lunging past them. People left and right were evacuating. Screams and yells hit both Caelan and Ardyn’s ears with a storm of noise.

“No, no, no!” Ardyn shot off rapid-fire while he shoved people out of the way. “I might’ve maimed them a little, but I assure you they’re not dead. Most of the people in the courthouse I didn’t kill.”

“I don’t understand!” Caelan furrowed her brows, trying to keep up with Ardyn. She was finding it difficult with all the people coming and going. “What the hell did you guys do?”

“I’ll explain everything as soon as we get to the boat!”

“What boat? Ardyn, tell me what the hell is going on!” Caelan didn’t anticipate herself screaming at him, but she did. It was enough to get Ardyn to stop in his tracks. He didn’t say a word, but his eyes offered peace. The promise was enough to get Caelan to yet again comply and follow his lead. They ran through crowds of people for several minutes. Their hands remained strongly connected, not wanting to lose the other among the herd.

When it was safe, Ardyn brought Caelan close to a building that had several boxes and an assortment of items near the front. They hid behind some of the large crates. He forced Caelan to look at him, his hand guiding her chin upward.

“I know you’re reasonably upset,” Ardyn paused. He took a hold of Caelan’s hands, concentrating while he healed her cut palms. A warm glow encircled the wounds while flesh mended.

“You will have your time for wrath, but we need to leave the country. If we don’t get you out of here, you’ll die. The moment we set foot on Lucis soil, you’ll be safe.”

“How do you know that?” Caelan furrowed her brows, her heaving became more prominent while she thought back to the day the Accordo Troopers exported her. She could still feel the heavy punches and their aftermath radiating against her skin. She could smell the metallic interior of the truck she had been tossed into, and how the cold of it nipped the flesh of her arms. Caelan wanted it to go away. She wanted to go away.

“They took me away from you, on my own homeland. You were dead in my arms. I mourned you! Damn it, I mourned you! They ripped me away! I can’t--I won’t be taken away again!”

“And you won’t!” Ardyn raised his voice for emphasis. “I assure you, you’re not staying here! You’re coming with me!”

The stress from everything Caelan had experienced thus far was catching up with her. The tension her body endured from starvation and basic decency made her emotions vulnerable. Everything was amplified tenfold. Caelan started to cry, shaking her head out of disappointment in herself. She hated feeling so weak.

"You don't get it!" Caelan exclaimed. "You were dead. You were dead and I couldn't keep you safe--you're supposed to be gone!"

“Cahl, please. I’m here. I’m right here, sweet girl.” Ardyn pulled her into a tight embrace. He buried his face into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. His fingers traveled through Caelan’s hair, trying in vain to soothe his adored.

How strong do you want her to have to be? The thought went through Ardyn’s mind several times. He hated having to ask her so much during this time. The clock was ticking, and Ardyn knew they needed to make haste.

“I made arrangements with the king. You have to trust me when I say I will tell you everything when we are out of the woods. I need you. I need you to survive this. Do you trust me, Cahl?”

Caelan had no choice in the matter, but she believed in Ardyn and his convictions. He sounded like he knew what he was doing. She started to nod, feeling her emotions settle down.

"Okay, yeah. Yeah I do." Caelan felt the warmth of Ardyn’s lips upon her cheek while he gave her a reassuring peck.

“That’s my girl.” Breaking the hug and the kiss, Ardyn grabbed a hold of her again to run.

They ran for what felt like hours. Dodging through people, traffic, and the occasional trooper that tried to get in the way of their escape. As they drew close to the end of Altissa’s territory by the seas, the number of soldiers began to grow to the point where both Caelan and Ardyn had no choice but to halt and fight back. No longer able to dodge and trick their way out of an altercation.

Caelan somehow found in herself the strength to defend Ardyn. Her resistance--though considerably weakened--arouse from slumber. She summoned her blade and hacked down a series of troopers that were set on seizing Ardyn. Shortly after, Ardyn defended Caelan from a rush of attacks coming from behind. Raksasha brimmed with a fierce energy that matched the protectiveness of its master. Ardyn charged at another trio, letting out a ferocious cry while his crimson blade continued to taste blood. The couple ran as soon as the danger passed, only to be met with more attackers.

Their journey to freedom was perilous and filled with blood and broken bodies. The likes of which Ardyn and Caelan had encountered before, but this time the urgency was far grand. The struggle to escape rivaled that of their final confrontation with the Einherjar. Somehow through it all, they had each other's backs. Their respective abilities were in sync as they blocked, parried, and struck whoever was brave and foolish enough to take them both on at the same time.

Eventually, there arrived a calm where no troopers could be seen lurking in the shadows. Ardyn and Caelan took advantage of the opportunity to collect their bearings, allowing themselves to have a break from their continuous battle.

In the distance, Ardyn could see they were approaching the border. Where the endless waterfalls of Altissa paved way into the ocean. He stopped to look behind. The capital was growing more into a speck as woodland replaced human infrastructure. The salted smell of the sea became prominent, offering another wave of relief. This would all be over soon.

“We’re getting close!” Ardyn exclaimed. The solace in his tone pulled Caelan away from the temptation of passing out.

“How much further?” Caelan asked in between breaths.

“I’d say about another ten minutes if we sprint,” Ardyn said as a matter of fact. His brows knitted into a concerned stare, watching Caelan nearly fall over. He quickly rushed to her side, coaxing her to use his body as support to upright herself.

“You should let me carry you.” Ardyn offered. He felt her body shudder against his touch. “You’ve fought well, but you’re barely holding on my dear.”

“No,” Caelan shook her head. “No. I got this. I’m not going to be dead weight in the middle of this mess.”

“Cahl, you’re no such thing,” Ardyn reassured. He carefully used his left hand to cup her face, guiding her to look at him. “I’ve wanted to carry you again for a long time. Please grant me the honor.”

How can I say no when you stare at me like that? Caelan sarcastically thought to herself. She sighed, nodding against Ardyn’s touch. There was no point in fighting him. Much less fighting the fatigue that was ever-growing. She backed up a little, giving Ardyn the necessary space to scoop her into his arms. Before he could proceed, a whip-like crack descended upon their space.

Ardyn was struck in his upper back by a bullet. He let out a snarling yell, tumbling forward and nearly knocked Caelan back. Caelan caught Ardyn's chest with her palms. Her hands desperately scrambled to his face as Ardyn knelt down from the impact.

“Ardyn!” Caelan brushed his long strands of red hair from his face. His eyes were shut tightly, teeth gritting against each other while he endured the radiating pain that traveled throughout his nerves.

“I’ll be fine!” Ardyn managed to choke out. He opened up one eye to look at her. “Defend yourself first!”

The moment Caelan rose up from Ardyn with her blade in hand, she felt her left leg being impaled by the same enemy. A single bullet ripped through her flesh, leaving a clean exit wound below her knee. Caelan screamed out. Fear rushed through her eyes upon seeing another group of Accordo Troopers make their descent. There had to have been sixteen in total.

Violently and with no thought, Caelan attempted to hack at the oncoming invaders while she sprinted for them. She fought valiantly, taking down a few men but neglected to think out her next moves. Suddenly, Caelan felt her sword being knocked from her hand followed by a punch. The impact was strong enough to make her fall to her knees. The same man who had punched Caelan prepared to assault her again, until Ardyn showed up and stabbed Raksasha through the attacker's chest without a second thought. He wasn’t going to let anyone touch her again no matter the consequence. Enraged Ardyn fought back. Every so often he’d teleport to warp strike and impale, taking the soldiers by surprise.

Whether he was growing tired or cocky, Ardyn slipped up. He took a few hits to his arms and sides. It was enough to stop him from using his tricks. With reluctance, and knowing neither he nor Caelan could keep up, Ardyn snapped his fingers. Six royal arms were summoned to his aid, and Ardyn quickly gestured toward their intended kills. None of the remaining troopers stood a chance. He watched one by one as the bodies fell. The phantom blades were too quick to be countered by mere footmen.

Once the final corpse collapsed, Ardyn discarded Rakshasa. The blade dissipated and he limped over to Caelan. Ardyn had been injured many times in his long life, but being mortal, the wound to his back became a throbbing irritation of fired nerves. He was reminded of being gored by the Behemoth. A small smile crossed Ardyn's lips at the memory. He ignored the pain, not giving Caelan a chance to find her own feet while he scooped her up into his arms.

"I don't want any protests coming from you." Ardyn said with a weak laugh.

Despite his suffering, Ardyn refused to let Caelan journey the rest of the way on her own. He wouldn’t let her go. Not like when the crystal forcibly tore him away from Aera’s body after both sustained life-threatening wounds from their assailants. The memory haunted Ardyn as he stumbled, almost dropping Caelan in the process. He wouldn't let another loved one be torn from his side.

“Ardyn, I can walk. It’s okay--I’ll be okay.” Caelan tried to reassure him. Her voice was faint as her body curled more into his chest while he carried her like a bride.

“No, you stay put and hold onto me.” Ardyn firmly said, gripping her body tighter to him. Even if she wasn’t injured, Ardyn knew they didn’t have much time together. He needed to make every second count.

“Put your arms around my shoulders.” Ardyn commanded. He felt Caelan adjust in his grasp. The weight of her arms traveled around his neck. Her hands clasped to lock herself in place, and her head nuzzled underneath Ardyn’s jaw.

I can do this. Ardyn said to himself. He wouldn't let Caelan fall where he failed with Aera.

“I got you,” Ardyn murmured. He gently patted her where he could, reminding himself Caelan was still here. “I got you, sweet girl.”

The afternoon glow of the sun shined through the trees, indicating the morning had long passed since Caelan’s trial. The cool mist of the beach from afar offered sanctuary as Ardyn continued to travel with Caelan in tow. The rising temperature didn’t bother him any for they were closing in on Accordo’s outskirt docks. The ocean would blanket him from much of the sweltering heat.

The relief Ardyn felt upon seeing the boat up ahead had him sigh contently. Caelan had long been asleep in his arms. He smiled down at her, giving a gentle shake to coax her into waking.

“Cahl, look ahead.” Ardyn whispered. “We made it.”

The noise caused Caelan to adjust in Ardyn’s grasp. She wanted to go back into the dark and be at peace. Alas, her eyes stirred before her mind could beckon them to stop. Caelan turned her head against Ardyn’s chest, staring at the boat from afar. It was a beautiful black and white yacht that radiated an expensive aura. From the style though, Caelan had a feeling it didn’t belong to Ardyn but someone else.

“Did you steal this?” Caelan let out a tired laugh to which Ardyn smirked.

“Not quite,” He mused. “I’m simply borrowing it.”

“Knowing you, it means the same thing.” She muttered.

As Ardyn walked closer, Caelan noticed two people running around preparing the ship. Their features began to take shape in her vision. The distinctive blond spikes of Prompto’s hair accompanied by him waving had Caelan visibly confused. Seeing Gladio further added to her puzzlement.

“T-they’re alright?” Caelan was flabbergasted as her arms tightened around Ardyn’s neck and shoulders. He suppressed a hiss. Her touch added pressure to his back, causing his wound to flare up.

“I told you, no harm came to them. It was all theatrics, harmless fun!” Ardyn reassured. It didn't take long before he brought them both onto the yacht. He was eager for them to get going.

Prompto quickly adjusted the seats on deck after everyone was accounted for. Shock, awe, and worry plagued his face while his eyes darted over both Caelan and Ardyn. Dirt and dried blood caked their clothes and bodies. To say they looked grisly was an understatement.

“You guys look like you’ve seen better days!” Prompto forced himself to say, not wanting to continue gawking. “We were beginning to think you weren’t going to make it!”

“I’d argue we are right on schedule, all things considered!” Ardyn grunted, gently putting Caelan down on the white-colored seats. He knelt in front of her, watching Gladio approach the ship's wheel to start the engine up from the corner of his eye. There was a cold rage brewing inside of the king's shield, and Ardyn braced himself mentally for what was to come. He settled his gaze back on Caelan.

“Cahl has been wounded! I can heal her, but I’m going to need something for my back.” Ardyn called out to whoever was listening.

“Right away! Lemme go below deck, I’m sure we still have meds from the last fishing trip Noct and I took.” Prompto exclaimed. He didn’t waste time opening the door that led into the body of the yacht, descending a small flight of stairs and into the main dwelling.

As the ship began to take off, Ardyn lifted up the pant legs of Caelan’s clothes, scrunching them past her knees and to her thigh. He made a face upon seeing the bullet wound on her left leg and began assessing the damage. The bleeding wasn’t profuse but still worrying. He didn’t want to give it time to become infected. There was only so much his own powers could do regarding that.

Ardyn wasted no time as he brought both his hands to cup around Caelan’s leg, giving a tight squeeze. She let out a pained yell, soon met by Ardyn muttering thousands of hushed apologies under his breath. A warmth began to radiate at the spot, pooling into Caelan’s body and soothing her nerves.

“A-Ardyn,” Caelan gasped out. She winced as his right hand traveled to minor scrapes and bruises that were nearby. “I'm worried about you, how’s your back?”

“Don’t fret about me. Once Prompto returns, I’ll--!” Ardyn’s eyes widened. He felt himself being dragged from Caelan. Gladio grabbed Ardyn from behind and flung him across the deck.

“Ardyn!” Caelan yelled out.

“You asshole!” Gladio exclaimed. He limped over to Ardyn, giving him a square kick to the chest. Ardyn heaved out, and quickly tried to find his footing.

“You went against the plan we had! You were not supposed to attack the courthouse! You stupidly put us in the line of fire, and got many innocent people killed!”

“I did--” Ardyn winced. “What I had, to protect the person I cherish most! When those old idiots said they were going to kill Cahl, I lost it! The plan was still a success! I have no regrets about spilling blood for her sake! I wouldn’t expect a subpar imbecile like you to understand! Wouldn't you have done the same for your king?!”

“False equivalents will get you nowhere with me!" Gladio spat. The bitterness of his voice was heavy as were his eyes. He was seeing red the longer he stared at Ardyn. "Beating me up was one thing, but it was another to stab me in my damn legs with those damned swords!”

“Gladio, enough!” Prompto yelled from below deck. He quickly made his way up the stairs and checked the status of the ship, seeing Gladio had set it to autopilot once they made it to the open seas. Prompto briefly looked down at the potions he had, wondering if he should’ve brought more.

“We’re in the middle of the ocean! There’s no help for miles!” Prompto pleaded.

“Can it Prompt!” Gladio pointed at his friend accusingly.

“You still made it out in one piece, you oversized ape! Obviously, you healed yourself!” Ardyn seethed, and gestured towards Gladio’s body, pointing out he had not a scratch on him.

“I don’t want to fight you, not in the presence of my beloved! Cahl's been through enough! We can settle our score elsewhere!”

“Noct may carry a torch for you, but I certainly don’t! You’re a careless bastard! You picked the wrong day to screw with me!” Gladio rushed towards Ardyn, shoving Prompto out of the way as the latter attempted to stop the fight.

Ardyn held up his arms to block, not wanting to harm his attacker. The weight of Gladio’s fist pummeled through Ardyn’s weak attempt at a defense, hitting him square in the jaw and knocking him onto his knees. Ardyn could feel his consciousness falling in and out of time. White specks began to overtake his vision. If he endured more, Ardyn knew he’d succumb to the dark. He was too tired to fight back even if he had the will.

Right before Gladio was about to make another strike, Caelan body-slammed the larger man. She sent him tumbling to the end of the ship deck. Heaving and with ferocity in her eyes, Caelan limped over to Gladio. She stared him down as he looked up at her. Gladio gritted his teeth, making a fist.

“Why do you care for that--!”

“Touch Ardyn again, and I’ll rip off whatever defines you as a man. Leave him be!” Caelan interrupted. Her threat was absolute. To further make her displeasure known, Caelan spat at Gladio. She purposefully missed by a few inches, not wanting to waste fluids on his hide.

Caelan stumbled toward the white seats of the yacht. Her body felt weak from the sudden assault. A numbness began to take root in her legs. Before she hit the ground, Ardyn quickly sprinted to catch her. She slouched against his body, his arms protectively wrapped around her.

“Cahl, are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Caelan murmured with a nod. “I promise I will be. I'm good.”

Upon given reassurance, Ardyn cast daggers at Gladio. His blood was boiling. He wanted nothing more than to punish the kings shield for making Caelan spend what little energy she had left.

“Why don’t you both go below deck? There’s a bed. You guys can rest and recoup.” Prompto piped up before another altercation had the potential to spike. He walked over to Ardyn, handing him the medicine he had gathered then backed off to give the couple space.

“You have my thanks,” Ardyn said quietly. He shot Gladio a scornful glare, tucking the potion bottles into the pocket of his pants, and guided Caelan to safety. As angry as Ardyn was, Gladio wasn't worth it right now.

Gladio was beside himself, collecting his bearings while he sat up and rose to his feet. His brows knitted out of concern, seeing Prompto glaring at him.

“Did you really have to do that?” Prompto sighed, shaking his head in disappointment.

“I--”

“Look, just--don’t answer. Okay?” Prompto went to the wheel of the ship, deciding to calm himself by driving the yacht for a while. It was better than blowing up at his friend. Prompto understood Gladio had every right to be upset. Ardyn should’ve waited until after departing the courthouse to make his move. However, Prompto easily saw things from Ardyn’s perspective. Had that been Cindy, Prompto knew he wouldn’t have had the strength to stand by. He doubted Gladio would've been idle if his sister Iris was in the hot seat. Explaining this to his friend however would be a waste of time.

Gladio watched Ardyn and Caelan tend to one another below deck while he passed the entry door. He wasn’t sure what it was, be it the way in which Caelan looked upon Ardyn fondly, or how she cupped his face with her hands, but her kind gestures induced an epiphany. Gladio had known her before.

When Gladio had fought Caealn at the palace, there was a familiarity in her fighting style. He knew he had seen it somewhere. Gladio couldn’t place it on anything recent and dismissed the thought entirely. He was too concerned for Noctis to dwell on a hunch.

A rush of memories from the Dark Decade came crawling back to him.

“I bet you a hundred gil that says you’re full of shit!” Gladio hollered to his assigned companion.

Despite knowing the hunter for a few short hours, he had taken a liking to her. Gladio had come to admire her wit and the speed in which she took down daemons. They were making progress paving the road for fellow Lucians to travel through. An undertaking no one back at the base wanted to volunteer for, except them. The natural camaraderie that developed between the two had Gladio wondering if he had met his partner before back at Insomnia.

“Why not make it two hundred?” Caelan countered with a laugh, bagging up some scrap to trade later. “When we come upon that daemon nest, I’m telling you in three minutes I’ll have thirty of them down. Just you watch!”

“That’s unheard of unless you got a death wish!” Gladio countered with a huff.

“You’re not far off the mark! Most hunters this and day and age long for death.” Caelan shrugged. She sprinted back to her partner. There was an inquisitive look in her gaze while she finished her thoughts.

“I mean, why else would a crownsguard such as yourself be out here? You must be after something similar. That, or you’re having an existential crisis.”

“I should be asking you the same thing!” Gladio remarked. He crossed his arms, smiling at her. “Word of mouth says you came all the way from Lestallum. I find it interesting you traveled from where it was safe just to help with this suicidal mission. There any truth to the rumors?”

“You heard correctly!” Caelan nodded for emphasis, defining that it was her choice in full. No one else made the decision for her.

“So, aren’t you going to tell me why you’re here?” Gladio raised a brow. He smirked watching her bravado die down some.

“You really think it’s wise to ask something so deep at the start of a relationship?” Caelan teased. Gladio laughed, and she found herself admiring how hearty his voice sounded.

“Well, you asked me something personal. It’s only fair.” Gladio shrugged.

“I suppose you’re right,” Caelan shook her head, letting out a sigh. “Let’s just say daemons in the grand scheme of things, are the least of my worries.”

“Sounds like a personal problem arose in the city?”

“Several,” Caelan scoffed. Not at Gladio, but the situation in which she was trapped.

“Daemons are like animals. They live a simple life. Consume and carry on. Humans make matters more complicated. At least in my experience.”

“I take it you’re being pursued?” Gladio wasn’t one to show deep concern. At least when it came to aquaintances. Given the heaviness of his partners tone, he did feel a sense of worry on her behalf.

“You sound like a cop with each passing minute,” Caelan chuckled. She breathed out, giving Gladio a once over. “Everyone has people that don’t like them, and that’s the extent I’m willing to share. Since I’ve been so forthcoming, aren’t you going to tell me why you’re here?”

Gladio furrowed his brows. He didn’t like being put under the spotlight. It was one thing when the guys did this to him, but another from a complete stranger. However, Gladio felt he did owe her something. He let out a deep breath, and looked ahead.

“A friend of mine has a tough journey ahead of him.” Gladio said firmly. “If I don’t pave him a path, there’s no way he’ll succeed. Helping out with the daemons in this area, will ensure he has a shot when the time comes.”

Caelan didn’t need all the details to understand how much Gladio cared for his friend. It was there in his tone and the way he carried himself. She admired that about him. Though he was a brute--and seemed standoffish to most--Gladio did have a heart. Caelan looked forward to reporting that finding to the other hunters. Gladio wasn’t the only person she made bets with as of late.

“You’re a good friend Gladio,” Caelan said sincerely. She gave him a firm pat on the back to which he looked down at her. “And friends easily die out here. Is your buddy worth it?”

“Yeah,” Gladio smiled at her as he nodded. “He’s worth the sacrifices I make.”

“Then you won’t lose.” Caelan said as a matter of fact. “I mean you’re gonna lose our bet, but your long term goal I’m sure you’ll live to see it through!”

“Has anyone told you that you’re absurd?” Gladio sighed, shaking his head as he tried to suppress a snort.

“All the time!” Caelan chuckled.

“You never told me your name back at Hammerhead.” Gladio spoke softly. He could’ve sworn she blushed from the remark. He smirked at the thought, then adjusted the flashlight on his vest.

“Name’s Cae. That’s all you need to know. The rest is classified.”

“Won’t forget it.” Gladio laughed. His voice became flirtatious, deciding to test the waters.

“Maybe I’ll unlock your secrets one day.”

Caelan raised her brows at him and laughed. “I’d love to see you try, casanova!”

“Bet!” Gladio winked.

Man, how could I have forgotten? Gladio thought to himself. He felt his mind returning to the present. While Gladio sat with the memory replaying in his head, other events with Caelan returned to him. Gladio felt his face growing hot. He recalled that the woman Ardyn had been consumed by, at one point held him close while they were unclothed. They were alone together in a tent, awaiting their impending demise by taking solace in each others bodies. The rest of the details were a blur. Gladio remembered they both had drank a lot before becoming intimate. He also remembered their last conversation. They both told each other their intimacy was a one time deal. Neither of them wanted to grow attached when the likelihood of dying was absolute.

At present, there were no strong attachments Gladio felt toward Caelan. That didn’t stop him from feeling a wave of mixed emotions. He looked down at his hands, shaking his head in disbelief. Everything made sense. Especially Ardyn’s less-than-savory behavior toward him. Given how close the two appeared, Gladio had no doubt he had been brought up in conversation. The humiliation at that was enough to slap some sense into himself. Gladio swallowed his pride, and made his way below deck.

“Gladio, what are you doing?” Prompto did a double take from his post, feeling his nerves crawl over his body. He was ignored, but quickly went to the entrance to observe. This time around, if a fight was going to happen, Prompto was determined to nip it in a bud before it had the chance to become heated.

At the bottom, Gladio observed Caelan put herself in the middle. He still couldn’t believe someone was ready to put themselves in harms way on Ardyn’s behalf. Sighing, Gladio shook his head at her.

“Let’s start over,” Gladio muttered as he glanced between the couple. “Do you two need anything from the kitchen?”

Ardyn and Caelan looked at each other with bewilderment. Either of them were unsure about trusting Gladio after the stunt he pulled earlier. Nevertheless, it wasn’t important. Not when so much else was going on.

Ardyn cleared his throat and got the shields attention.

“Cahl hasn’t drank much in a long time. Water would be great.”

Gladio nodded to Ardyn, and ventured past the couple to the kitchenette of the ship. He was soon out of sight.

"What the hell was that about?" Caelan asked, looking behind her.

Ardyn shrugged. "I don't know, but I surmise we should count our blessings. C'mere."

Ardyn took Caelan by the hand and led her to the yachts small bedroom, wasting no time to pull her close to him as they lied next to each other upon the mattress.

Their breathing synced while they relished in several truths: Ardyn hadn’t died. Caelan wasn’t executed, and they were together again. Neither could stop touching the other. Scared that the moment they parted contact, it would be over for them both.

“Are you ever going to tell me what’s happening?” Caelan muttered against Ardyn. The more comfortable she grew, the more tired she became. It was becoming difficult to keep her eyes open.

“You’ll know soon enough when we reach Lucis.” Ardyn reassured. He pressed his lips to her forehead. “Rest right now. I’ll join you.”

By the time Gladio arrived with the water they requested, he found both of them sleeping. He sighed and gently put the glasses on the ground next to the mattress. He made sure the door was closed before checking to see how Prompto was fairing with driving the yacht.

For the first time, Gladio began to feel sorry for Ardyn. He knew what awaited the pair when they’d reach Lucis grounds. His hands balled up into fists. He never allowed it sink in until now. Gladio wished he could've easily discarded his newfound feelings, but his own guilt made sure they remained.

[cherry-treelane]

I find it so ironically funny when hardcore Debbie defenders use the defense that she was just a victimised teenage girl (agreed) and then proceed to slander Fiona and express their hatred for her character and lack of sympathy

as if being an adult magically absolves an individual of the horrifying trauma that precedes them and screws up their mentality and actions

funnily enough these people get mad at others for "expecting Debbie to be an innocent angel and hating on her for acting out as a result of trauma" (also agreed, debbie does deserve more sympathy, she can't be expected to grow up to be a perfect saint when she's been through so much) yet seem to hold Fiona to the same unattainable standards and put her on a pedestal as if she wasnt a child that was forced to intensely grow up while never actually being raised

like lets put this into perspective and remember that fiona grew up surrounded by corrupt morals and insanely screwed up behaviour yet still emerged as messed up, yes, but surprisingly good considering the situation she was in??? she had to navigate basic things such as morals and being a good, responsible person on her own. imagine how difficult it must be to lead a bunch of kids, including yourself, with no previous role model or good example of your own to follow. most of the time, she always tried to do what she thought was best and would have the most desirable outcome

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good

[lecliss]

The choice from Sunday is kinda weird cuz the options are build a cage in the house for the bird or build a nest where it fell and one leads to the bird growing up but dying once its set free and the other one probably leads to it dying much sooner. They both feel like the same option and even tho obviously the most kind, caring, morally right thing to do is keep it inside so at least it lives longer even if it's in a cage. But like to me both options suck and are basically nothing cuz I'm sorry if I look like a bad person for this, but I'm not sorry, but I'm not fuckin touching a wild animal. Even if I knew it was there even if I bothered to check out the sound to find a bird, which I wouldn't, I'm not touching it. I'm not even getting close enough to find out it's too young to fly yet. Whatever happens to it happens man and I'll never know what happens to it cuz I'm not even gonna look at it. Like, where's the 'you seem like an asshole but really it's quite a normal choice' in this whole trial thing??? That's usually an option you can pick. Sunday!!! Sunday, listen!!! There are more than two choices!!! You don't have to always do something!!!! You can just walk away!!! You don't have to try to do something for everyone all the time!!! Think about yourself sometimes!!! It's not selfish I promise!!! SUNDAY!!! OH MY GOD HIS WINGS ARE COVERING HIS EARS HE CANT HEAR US!!!!

[arsenicflame]

why does it feel like the only options anymore are babygirl ed teach into oblivion and pretend like he never did anything bad, or make him the worst person on the fucking planet and incapable of doing anything to earn any forgiveness (not that he even tries)

[iftitah]

.

[orcelito]

Also I got my essay exam back today. Full points!!! Which was a surprise bc my 4th essay was definitely lower quality than the other three (bc I rushed it), but still good enough to get full points!!!!

Makes me wonder what that other one I spied being a 1 was like 🤔🤔🤔 bro was NOT good at writing I guess.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[orbmanson7]

:(

Very bad grade in therapy today

[todayisafridaynight]

i feel like the hello kitty doesnt do xanax post whenever i check the minedai tag on ao3 what is the obsession with piss im in agony

why did you just read my mind jesus fucking christ get out of my head youre so right tho this is so accurate and i feel this every day of my life and i feel insane and like im the one perceiving them weirdly so thank you anon for letting me know that im normal

[vogelmeister]

one of the worst things i have ever done in the name of art is decide that the final monologue would be in poorly written dutch and then have to translate that into English and then decide how you’re going to display this bc its way too much dutch for the little footnotes you have been including when a character does use a dutch word but also you also like,, need to translate this into english so now you have an appendix and that's way too fancy but it's still in Dutch and you still need to put it in English and it's not even hard Dutch like its basic yet your head hurts still looking at it even though you know what you did and what you wrote and words are hard and you simultaniously know and don't know and this long ramble is exactly how your brain was operating at the time so yay. me.

[piplupod]

today is absolute garbage but i am going to try to do some painting on my project nonetheless, doing my best to attempt to claw my way out of the suicidality goop

[vaugarde]

love how indigo and unova both end with ash going “wow, what a fantastic experience” with a full theme song drop as they reminisce on their adventure over the battlefield in the sunset like those weren’t the worst written leagues in the series