#and i know itll make you feel better to try to make up for it but now you have dead mice
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nomairuins · 3 months ago
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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puppyeared · 10 months ago
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i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court
#im joking#i think i just get embarrassed saying smth that most ppl can see out in the open. its like when prey animals are grazing in a pasture#and then they hear a twig snap yk. im like that. but talking in the tags is more comfortable because it just feels more.. hidden?? quiet???#its kind of like how i prefer responding thru asks than DMs.. idk if it has something to do with space or less pressure#i also use these as an excuse to ramble a little abt recent events so. ive worked a little bit on shuffle and prestos backstories ^_^#i was thinking abt giving them a shared past where they knew each other as kids and forgot but i also though hmm.. idk if it would drive th#story i want bc i think itd be better if they bonded over similar experiences instead of the fact that they knew each other before. i get#that reconnecting and reconciling your idea of someone now and then is a good concept but id have to think abt it.. i dont want it to feel#like they owe each other to be friends again just bc they were as kids. ive experienced that a lot and all it did was make me feel guilty#so i think id want to write it as u can be friends with someone who had similar experiences and make u wish you knew each other then#i also know theyd hate each other but idk HOW. i suck at writing conflict so idk if theyd try to make each other eat glass and why#idk if itll ever come up but id also like to see if theres a way i could rationalize why they have animal ears.. normally i say aliens#but ive had an idea for a species and background for that too. although its very abstract and it probably has a lot of holes#smth abt peoples souls attaching themselves to smth they identify with.. although i dont know to what extent like if it can#be called a sona or if it can even be smth mythical like a unicorn or god itself.. its very weird rn#yapping#oc talk
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lecliss · 7 months ago
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The choice from Sunday is kinda weird cuz the options are build a cage in the house for the bird or build a nest where it fell and one leads to the bird growing up but dying once its set free and the other one probably leads to it dying much sooner. They both feel like the same option and even tho obviously the most kind, caring, morally right thing to do is keep it inside so at least it lives longer even if it's in a cage. But like to me both options suck and are basically nothing cuz I'm sorry if I look like a bad person for this, but I'm not sorry, but I'm not fuckin touching a wild animal. Even if I knew it was there even if I bothered to check out the sound to find a bird, which I wouldn't, I'm not touching it. I'm not even getting close enough to find out it's too young to fly yet. Whatever happens to it happens man and I'll never know what happens to it cuz I'm not even gonna look at it. Like, where's the 'you seem like an asshole but really it's quite a normal choice' in this whole trial thing??? That's usually an option you can pick. Sunday!!! Sunday, listen!!! There are more than two choices!!! You don't have to always do something!!!! You can just walk away!!! You don't have to try to do something for everyone all the time!!! Think about yourself sometimes!!! It's not selfish I promise!!! SUNDAY!!! OH MY GOD HIS WINGS ARE COVERING HIS EARS HE CANT HEAR US!!!!
#i genuinely dont wanna pick anything#like okay. i know they dont have animal control or a shelter in this setting. but irl genuinely just call some people and see if theyll take#it if you wanna do something about it.#you are not getting my ass to touch a wild animal of any kind. i dont care what the situation is#i was asked once if i could help take care of some baby mice a friend accidentally ruined the nest of and a shelter wouldnt take them#and i was like. im sorry but no cuz i know for a fact im not equipped to handle something like that and i dont wanna touch wild mice and#i KNOW at least some of them will die and i wanna now have to deal with dead mice. and you know what happened?#the friend couldnt keep up with how often they needed to be fed and they died. and now you have dead mice.#something could have happened where they survived outside like the mom came back and fixed it maybe or at least one fended for itself#like its a shame the nest accidentally got ruined but it was an accident and things like that happen all the time#yes its an accident you caused but in the case of something like that i really dont think its suddenly your responsibility now#and i know itll make you feel better to try to make up for it but now you have dead mice#and i know for some people at least trying to help makes them feel better but now we're at the point where i just dont understand#i just cant comprehend the feeling or the idea or the thought.#so its like. i get sunday feels like he HAS to do something for everyone all the time but its genuinely turning him into a monster and he#cant see that. like trying all the time despite getting nothing done will tear you apart. let yourself rest#do the small things you can do around you. dont put the weight of everything on you all the time otherwise you wont get anything done#and youll start thinking not doing anything isnt even an option anymore#i promise its okay. take a break.#im not even referring to sunday anymore. you 🫵 its okay. take a break. make yourself feel better#then come back to things with a clearer calmer mind and do the small things you know you can do#dont force yourself to do everything because you feel like you have to. itll be okay. i promise#hsr 2.2 spoilers#hsr spoilers#oh right this is a spoiler post ifnfjfnfk#long post
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lethesbeastie · 5 months ago
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I miss being able to do more than 3 things in a day.
There's something wrong with my body, with my brain. Something I haven't put a name to yet, though I've got hypothesis of what it might be. Something is plaguing my body, weighing down my limbs, my heart, my head.
Do you ever feel as if you live your life wading through water? Like you've been drowning for years, chained by your ankles to am impossible weight, struggling inch by inch across the open ocean floor?
Probably not.
I'm starting to realize the way I live is far from mundane, farther still from humane. I struggle to eat. Struggle to shower. To stop. To rest. Like a shark underwater, I swear on God it feels if I stop moving, I will drown.
I can't stop moving, can't sit still, can't escape the static that starts to stutter up my spine the moment i try. It hurts to sit more than it hurts to move, more than it hurts to grind my own joints into dust, chasing the slender phantom of nervous system regulation.
Stimming, I'd said. That's what the pacing is, that's why I have to stay on my feet from the moment I leave my bed, that's why I can't ever, ever sit still.
I'm not so sure about it now.
It hurts to sit still. Hurts to move. Hurts to think and think and think, to have ideas, to want to Make, but to be denied release by the exhaustion that plagues my body.
I'm tired. So tired. I am tired of feeling tired, of feeling both everything and nothing at all. Nervous system circuits short circuiting inside me, I'm impatient with my own exhaustion, desperate to do anything except to search for rest. No one has ever taught me how to rest.
There is something wrong with my body. Something I'm trying to name (something that the doctors will claim is nothing at all), something haunting me, parasitic in its nature, in its pupputeering of my aching, shaking hands.
I want it to get better. Want to stop feeling half dead and less than alive when I rise to greet a day that's almost over. Want to stop seeing the disappointment in my mother's eyes when once again, I cannot gather myself into some semblance of humanity long enough to do the god damned dishes.
I'm trying to fix this mom, I promise. Thank you for doing the dishes for me. I'm sorry I can't get better fast enough. Yeah, I'm tired of my bullshit too.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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...
#i was supposed to spend the last 2 days prepping and relaxing for the start of this big project tomorrow#but ive spent thr last 2 days frantically coding as fast as i could and focusing v hard to get a lot of bullshit done#and ive fixed things since yesterday. the changes i had to make were too too bad bc the thing that went wrong was so fucking weird#but it should be okay by tomorrow. knock on wood. but this does mean ive done fuck all to prep for tomorrow#so we r winging it bby. ugh. just gotta fucking pray that everything goes ok. pls let nothing b broken and let everything seal properly 🙏#i was also supposed to meet with my boss today. probably for her to make sure i dont fuck up this project but apparently their safety hood#was having an emergency... whatever that means. so im sure shes having a week as well. and im free to fuck everything up for everyone#ugh. im so. theres a certain point in burning out where youre not really in pain anymore. you dont really feel anything all your joy and#hope dissolves away and u just exist to be useful. and i feel like its easier to maintain that than trying to b happy#i do not advise that bc its a fucking miserable. wasteful way to live but i dont really have time to try for anything better#god. i really hope my measurements friday dont take a full 8hrs. i dont know if i can handle that. literally i would have stay intensely#focused with my brain being Interrupted every 5min so i can manually record data points. its gonna b agony#so that fun. but maybe it wont. maybe itll be great and fun and ill have a wonderful time. seems unlikely but ya never kno#lets not think abt the fact that having to rush all this is preventing me from being able to do all thr other bullshit i need to get done#to prepare for the future. future? what future? hard to imagine from the bottom of this pit im digging myself#sigh. in a few months i can leave this place and never come back. soon but not soon enough#lol i was literally crying listening to cold play earlier bc idk thats the type of music my parents would put on at parties in summertime#so it evokes a v specific mood. which is i guess me hiding away from ppl at parties haha#back when i didnt have to worry abt things so much and i could just listen to the frogs chirping and watch the fireflies#oh god. now my boss is asking if i reached out for help tomorrow. no. lady i would rather drink bleach than have to direct an undergrad#tomorrow. its 10pm im fucking tired. just let me be sad. did i reach our for help? no my brain is on fire#tomorrow is gonna b a long day ugh#unrelated
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radiotorn · 6 months ago
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having to restrain from saying anything when my dad dares to say that men get paid LESS than women. in what world. are you out of your fucking mind old man.
#ow.err#IN WHAT WORLD ARE MEN PAID LESS THAN WOMEN.#like. i shouldnt be surprised he said that bc he watched and/rew t/ate and jo/e rog/an so like. of fucking course he'd think that.#but like dude. you have no idea what youre talking about.#and there is NO WAY im gonna even try to tell him otherwise bc he is. loud. yk.#im just gonna. leave that there. bc its not my responsibility to 'fix' my parents as much as id love to try.#its just not my responsibility. and itll prob just end in me getting screamed at anyways since they wont listen to me or anything i say#cuz im still a kid in their eyes ! ! ! !!!! ! ! so cool ! ! ! ! ! !#almost 20. father doesnt think i know how to wake myself up w/o being woken up by someone else.#SO INSULTING BTW. i always get up on time. no matter what. nearly 20 and he thinks im a fking child still#both my mom and dad do but my dad does it in an 'underestimating' me way and my mom does it in a 'tries to overly coddle me' way#you know? i dunno. i dunno. i wanna move out but money is so fked rn. and idk how to do like. anything. so im just...#gonna do my classes and try to get a nice job and save up for awhile before i actually move out to my own place#im also kind of scared bc idk if ill have the. will to care for myself once i move out. like im worried ill just let myself die#sso. things to. work on before i get out of here i guess. but the thing is this environment will not let me heal. ahhh !!!!!!!!!#the only way out is through!!! through and scared!!!!!!!!!!!! tmrw marks the start of my life potentially starting to change. for the bette#but still changing. and oh man. im very nervous. its scary#cuz like. i didnt think id live past like 12 ??? so to be almost 20 and very behind on 'adult things' is. scary?daunting?#it all almost feels unreal. like im reaching a part of my life i never thought id actually reach. it feels like ive been living on#borrowed time since 12 so now im like. damn i have to live dont i. i have to actively make this life worth living now#some days i still worry itll be my last but ... im just gonna try to take it one step at a time. its all i can do.#be as prepared as i can. and take it one step at a time. i clutch onto the hope that my life will get better#and i clutch onto it with an iron grip. because damn it. it has to get better than this. it has to.#wow this got derailed. oh well my poast my rules.
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lovecrazedpup · 1 year ago
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trying to be strong and think reasonably vs my unwavering belief that im an awful person and hes going to leave me
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noisy-weasel · 1 year ago
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Man how do you explain to your parents that no I don't have a future like stop pitching all these ideas to me because you sound insane. Like I guess they genuinely don't realize how close to death I am. I'd already be gone but there's no knives in the house Sharp enough. Like that's the ONLY reason I am alive. Period. And the fact I'm still here is so fucking stressful because every second I'm still alive is money and energy my family is wasting on me and I fucking hate hate hate it. Honest to god forcing people who are horribly suicidal to continue living is a crime like every year I'm still here increases how awful I feel tenfold and I should be able to buy pills that can kill myself just over the counter and there's just no excuses that I can't
#i know that sounds insane but if you've ever been horribly social you'd know how sure i am of this#it's genuinely a for society to try so hard to keep me here but there's also no resources to make me better#no healthcare no therapists can't even get afucking antidepressant without a therapist#at Least while i was still on my dads insurance my doctor couldn't put me on any#and then he forwarded me too a therapist that ALSO didn't prescribe pills#i couldn't pay for the sessions because of course i can't so WHYYYYY AREN'T YOU JUST LETTING ME KILL MYSELF???#like do you see how this doesn't make sense????#personal#suicide tw#srsly tho my parents just trying to pretend I'm not suicidal but i am genuinely going to be dead before 30 that's not a Joke that's#something i know in my heart is true#i was actually all planned and ready to kill myself when my parents went up both in July but my mom got sick and stayed home#it literally ruined everything#ahhhhhggg being alive sucks so much i feel so broken and worthless#someone buy me a knife please please please please#and honestly i think it's gotten to a point where i view getting a job as death#because i know i NEED a job because I'm nothing but a burden but i also know the moment i have money I'm starting a ticking click to my end#new killing myself is simply inevitable so getting a job ill hate (i have no prospects bc college too expensive and barely any experience#which will simply funnel me into a soul crushing American retail job)#so it's just like okay... my paychecks will be going toward a knife or a gun and itll be literally imposible for me to live if i have a#means of dying
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strab3rr · 18 days ago
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(long story and no short sorry) GUYSSS I DID ITT
I INDUCED IT!!!!! I WAS PURE AS A FUCKING BABY
IDK WHAT TO SAY (ok enough w capslock)
i have so much to say and not a thing at da same time idk how
anyway i want to begin with thanking you @b4ddprincess bc youre the reason i realized why i started this thing. thank you for making my life better and make me realized what i need to do: nothing. (its same for you guys, all u have to do is nothing)
two fuckn years ago i said to myself that i need a better life, quiter life, less fight with everthing bc everything was so loud and not clear i was feeling lost like a child in the market, and i wanted to make things better for myself in every way, but the main idea of my reasons to wanting to get in the void was: making anxiety go and having better people in my life. but the ''voidlist'' just never stopped bc im kinda greedy(having the idea of controling on your life, the idea of that power makes you greedy. yes thats a thing) anyway the more i add to the list the more i feel like im movin away from my desires then i feel depressed bc ive overcomplicating it bc theres so many things to do but i dont do anything so nothing happend bc i was waiting to be someth happen. and then i started doing awkwardly silly things such as: void routines and challenges and (im embarrassed of this one bc i was too desperate) drinking water
youve read it correct drinking water.
i was sooo desperate for having those things id do anything to get them.
i am simple. i want what everyone wants🎀🎀🎀: shifting realities bc i have so many crush and i need them to be crush me in bed(for 2020 girlies)
being an academic weapon is so easy for me🎀(bc of the urge to make my family proud) +dream collage
being the girl that everyone gets along w(basic needs)
being the girl who is pretty not cute(trauma response)
glowing aura(cats loves people w glowing aura yes thats a thing too)
dream body n hair(bc i deserve this🎀)
healthy (girlyfriend)friends(basic needs)
and of course him, my sp(i cant tell wich one at that time but i releived that its not him now, bc MY BELOVED CURRENT BF. guyss he is the one. dont u dare ask me how you know? i literally manifested him🎀)
then i realized i can have everything bc its my reality so why not add these:
new phone, +macbook air
dream apartment of my own
pinterest closet
lifa app for this reality
financially free-money(a lot. like really a lot)
knowing 4 languages like a native person(bc i want to be diplomat so bad) +sign language(its in general)
a little drama(its not gonna hurt anybody)
my parents being more lovable and away from me
every time i try to get in, either i was failing or falling
and im sick of it, sick of it so much i quit.(for a year)
then i go to the theraphy(ofc no im jk ilove being crazy)
one day i saw a post ss from tumblr about pure consciousness on pinterest and i was like whaat is thiiss. no mention of void so i thougt its a diffrent thing and i download the tumblr again and search everything abt it. and same excitement again after one year same thougts and same list popes up in my head. and i was like ok maybe this time itll happen.
still waiting to be someth happen so nothing happend, it was such a waste of time trying to get in while i was already be, i was already what i want to become. i was that girl that everyone gets along with but i couldnt even see bc i was too focused on wanting to be. but still tried every night and failed. and again tried-failed-quit circle bc.. have you ever met me🎀
4 month ago i saw the girl, iconic blogger and the goddess of my dreams, her @b4ddprincess thx again love u so much
a post pops in my fyp and i see the words ''pure consciousness'' i was like noo not again. and i was serious abt it i wasnt gonna read the whole thing but it attract me n i couldnt resist it so ive read it from the top to the bottom. and she got my interest so i stalked her page from the last and to the first post. it was quiet a beautiful journey for me. lasted like 3 days, the end of the 3rd day i was ''woaw it was this easy all along? u cant be serious.'' she was. i tried one last time, no breathing exercise, no ridiculous routines and no waiting something to be happen. it was just me being real me chilling out asf.
and it was this easy and it should be this easy bc being your 4d self is being nothing also being everything at the same time. if u wanna be everything you should be nothing first(as wizardliz saying: drop the old story, leave the victimhood, for being better stop being bitter etc.)u should make a space for everything first and then u can be everything.
for being 4d self of yours stop being your3dself.
sooo long story (no)short i am writing this from my mac in my new apartment(in middle of the night bc i couldnt sleep and then one tumblr notification reminded me i have a success story to share too) and my phone buzzing two minutes a time bc of my friends while im writing this, so if theres anything wrong ignore it pls.
oh u asking my bf how cute, hes sleepin in my bed now, exhausted from the work n school balance.
YWS SCHOOL!! im in my dream collage and im going to be in paris for a week. i deserve a vacation i guess(its for another conference), i kinda hate french men bc theyre so mansplaning(not like how i imagined, its hard to be friends w them)girls are cute but i feel like theyre aware im not permanent there so we just con buddies still cute and hepful for this foreigner.
and i canceled the lifa app thingy bc i can be my purest consciousness anytime i want, so i am my lifa app.
and thx to 4 languages i make a lot of money and that brings us to the pinterest closet, yesterday i realiased that. theyre not comes to me w an imaginary way like i imagined! i go outside for shopping casually and theyre there luckily i have enough money to buy them.
and my family theyre living in our hometown now so as i want it to be, we are away from eachother.
and the most magical thing: SHIFTING REALITIESSS
i did 5 world before i met w my bf. it was such a wonderful experience. if you have doubts abt shifting you can go fuck urself
because sir i did it and i am very sure that dean winchester being my husband is not a daydream, fantasy nor lucid dreaming. believe it or not he kissed me GOD HE KİSSED ME(someone should stop me i have a bf)
is there anything i missed let me see.. cats i have 2 cats now and theyre adorable. glowing aura-check
the girl who is pretty not cute- check +make anxietygo-checkcheckcheck
dream body and hair- check and check
i wanna give u a info i didnt have all my desires by being my4dself
not directly actually. but i have them all. and thats the point.
im not trying to be a blogger but if you have any question abt anything, id be happy to help
now i need to upgrade things in my farm byeess
loves, siena.
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comet-forgot-you · 1 month ago
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extra
ani x reader
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summary: your first time at a club and ani approaches you.
warnings: smut. 18+ pls. thigh riding, ani’s all big and bad until she wants to cum, bottom!ani, sex work, idk if theres more
a/n: had a request for anora a while back and i was waiting to watch the movie before i wrote anything for her bc i dont know anything about her but im getting impatient sooo
loud music, flashing lights, smoke. your first time actually being in a club and you didnt really know how to feel about it. your eyes raked over the crowded room, fingers wrapped around a cold glass you brought to your lips every few minutes.
“you ever been here before?” you turn your head to the voice, your eyes landing on the dark haired girl you had been eyeing for the past hour.
“no, first time,” you answer, bringing your drink to your lips. she smiles and your eyes fall to her lips.
“im ani,” she introduces, “its bit crowded in here, lets get a private room.” you let out a huff of air, lips pulling up into a smile as your eyes return to the large room.
“trying to get me to buy some time with you?” you ask and ani scoots closer to you, fingers toying at your shoulder.
“maybe i am. youre attractive, well worth my time,” her fingers trail up your neck before cupping your jaw, turning your head to look at her. “what do you say? am i worth your money?” you smile, leaning in closer to her.
“yeah, i think you’re worth my money.”
before you know it, the two of you are alone, her in your lap, dragging her lips up and down your neck. your hands find her hips, hers find your wrists, tugging them away. “no touching,” she whispers, voice seductive as she grinds against your lap.
you smile, holding your hands up innocently before putting them behind your head. “yes maam,” you whisper. a smile painting her lips as she leans in closer to you, lips nearly touching.
“good girl,” she whispers. your cheeks heat at the words, the way she says them, fuck. ani grinds against your lap, hips moving seductively against you. it takes all your power not to grab her hips and grind her against your thigh.
“youre so pretty,” you whisper, taking your bottom lip between your teeth. she felt so good grinding against you, you selfishly want more. “doin’ so good,” you mumble.
“dont talk to me like that,” she groans, cunt grinding lightly over your thigh.
“like what?” you push.
“like you want to fuck me.”
“maybe i do,” you lean closer, leg bouncing slightly as she grinds against you. “maybe i just want to guide you on my thigh, make you feel good,” you whisper. this is definitely not what youre supposed to do during a private sessiom, but neither of you could care less.
“mm, itll be extra,” she teases, bringing her hands up to cup your face.
“i dont mind paying more,” you mumble and ani smiles.
“good.” her hands find your wrists, tugging them to her hips. “then show me what you want.”
you drag her down against your thigh, flexing it to give her added pleasure. even through the many layers of fabric, you swear you can feel her cunt throb. “so fucking pretty, ani,” you mumble, scraping your teeth against her neck. you know better than to leave marks, her appearance is her work, you know better.
“god, bet you’d give me your whole wallet just to get me in your own bed,” she mumbles, her accent thick as her hips roll against you.
“maybe, depends on how this ends,” you mumble. ani lets out a shaky breath as you grind her down against your thigh a little stronger than the last.
“fuck,” she whines. “just keep going, fuck, please.”
“what happened to your little attitude? that little tough act, all for the money one?”
“shut up,” she spits, her orgasm slowly approaching.
you bounce your leg and ani’s head falls back slightly. “whatever you say,” you mumble.
“no, fuck, just keep talking to me.” you smile.
“and why would i do that? you just told me to shut up, didnt you? make up your mind,” you tsk at her, picking up your pace. “you look so good grinding on my thigh, ani,” you whisper. “bet you’d look better with my fingers inside you,” she whines,
she buries her face in your neck, lips pressing gently against your pulse point. your jaw clenches, eyes closing tightly as you try to gather yourself. you swallow thickly, “bet you’d look so good spread open f’me.”
“fuck, im so close, please,” she whines.
“yeah? gonna cum for me? gonna make a mess on my thigh?” she nods against your neck and you smile, keeping a quick pace against your thigh. “go on then, cum for me.”
and she does, her teeth digging into your shoulder as she does. desperate, breathy moans muffled into you. “yeah, good job, did so good for me,” you mumble, slowing her against your thigh.
you give her a few minutes to come down before asking, “how much to take you back to my place right now?”
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nomairuins · 25 days ago
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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requiemsystem · 10 months ago
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ADVICE FOR NEWLY DISCOVERED OR SUSPECTED SYSTEMS
if you suspect you may be a system or have recently discovered that youre a system, things can be confusing and hard. im making this post as someone who has been aware of being a system for about 5 years and has been diagnosed for 2. these are things i wish we knew and did. i hope it will be helpful to some of you and i wish you luck on discovering things about yourself and your system keep in mind everyone is different and systems are no exception, so what i list here might be incredibly beneficial for one person but do nothing for another. find what works for you. i will try to provide a variety of advice in order for you to see what fits you best DO YOUR RESEARCH research the disorder, try to find others experiences and things you think would help you. this is especially helpful if you are suspecting and not yet sure if you have it, researching symptoms and others experiences can be very helpful in determining START SYMPTOM LOGGING this can be as simple as "i blacked out today" or "i dont feel like myself right now", you dont have to be identifying switches or putting names to alters, theres no rush to be able to do that and some systems have no desire to do that symptom logging is useful because it can help you identify potential triggers and patterns in your symptoms. for example, if you can remember what happened before a period of amnesia and remember being exposed to a stressful event or something potentially triggering, this would be worth writing down to see if its a recurring pattern REACH OUT TO OTHER ALTERS this can be done in a variety of ways, but the easiest way would be to leave a note in a place itll be seen. for example, a sticky note on a mirror (if you live with other people and cant do this, try leaving a note on your phone in a frequently checked app) i would advise saying something along the lines of "hello, i am (name) and i would like to communicate with you. i suspect we have a disorder called (DID/OSDD) and we share the same body and mind. please write back to me in (location, can be a notebook or app etc) and tell me some about yourself if you feel comfortable" but you can say whatever works for you. i just think the main points to cover are having DID/OSDD and introducing yourself as well as asking for an introduction in return START WORKING ON COMMUNICATION this takes a lot of practice, so i always say its better to build up early rather than late. we have a whole post on it that can be found here REMINDERS AND THINGS TO REMEMBER if you do not remember your trauma, do not dig for it. it isnt safe to try to remember trauma without professionals help. if you happen to remember, thats one thing, but dont intentionally seek out triggers to try to remember denial is common and not a sign of faking, if you were faking you would know and would not be in denial. being wrong about having DID/OSDD (if you are suspecting but not sure) is not the same as faking no two systems are the same. you dont have to look exactly like some other system you know or online to be real its normal to not know everything right away. you wont know all your alters immediately, you may not be able to access (and you may not have) your innerworld, you probably wont remember all of your trauma without professionals help, etc. its all normal its totally ok to keep information about your system private. there is no need to share with anyone you do not feel completely safe and comfortable with switching at any frequency is normal, there is no "correct" amount to switch. any amount of alters is normal, there is no "correct" amount of alters. any level of amnesia is normal, there is no "correct" level of amnesia apps like simply plural and bots like pluralkit can be incredibly helpful for some systems, but there is absolutely no pressure to use them if you do not feel comfortable - grey
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austinsastrology8991 · 2 years ago
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Saturn the father you always wanted and always have. Saturn in da houses, and why your life sucks. Im blunt here so don't complain don't read if you can't handle the reality of saturn. Saturn in the first house - okay you don't like to try when you present yourself, you think people should just instantly respect you because youve been through many trials in life... well people usually dont know how to talk to you because you have a stick up your ass. Saturn in the second house - everyones greedy, but when you are, its not cool. Well it isn't because when you are greedy you act like a goblin. be more mature its okay to be greedy but your acting like its a virtue stfu. Saturn in the third house - everyone thinks your dumb af, and you are only because you lack confidence to drive your points home. you just need to learn how to communicate better, your not dumb but you act like a dumbass. Saturn in the fourth house - sad boy/girl now everyone knows you had a rough childhood but would you grow up already, everyone else has but your still stuck being sad about how life has treated you (or your momma/dadda) grow up your not getting any younger you can't change the past stop wallowing. the past has taught you well, use it to your advantage or let it hold you back. Saturn in the fifth house - pretend players who get played everytime. Always gotta pretend like they are fun but whenever you do try to have fun with them they are annoying. yes you could be fun in the bedroom simply because everyone knows your too sensitive to break someones heart... because your heart is the most broken. Saturn in the sixth house - the real try hards always putting in 100%. suck ups to there boss or whoever is above them. but when there authority disrespects them they go rogue and try even harder just to spit in there boss's face. i respect it because i got cap here Saturn in the seventh house - if your a bad person good luck in this life, because your karma is received ten fold by your partners, they always like to complete your karmic cycle because thats just how it works idk. so better act right or your partner will ruin it before you ruin yourself.
Saturn in the eighth house - will do anything to get to the top. no pain is too painful. well it all is, but the ends justify the means. when they put there foot down the whole room shakes. so when your making a move make sure its the right one because your power plays are on display for everyone and itll make or break you more than the other placements. Saturn in the ninth house - lazy asses, always looking for an easy way out. they know what the right thing to do is, but the likelihood of them doing it is never. its because saturn restricts there luck/ mind and they just have woe is me energy and its annoying make better choices, and if you dont stop crying about it. but if they act right saturn blesses them the fuck up. Saturn in the tenth house - okay these people think they are better than everyone and deserve everything, but they never receive the applause they crave. its never enough even if the whole room is looking at them they suddenly don't want it anymore. there karma everyone can see, and if its too good it feels like a curse, and when its bad and reality comes crashing down they just want to hide but they cant. own your life or it will own you. Saturn in the eleventh - there community will give them there karma, always these people dont have a place where they feel safe. because they never make anyone feel safe around them, then cry when no-one gives them that favour. stfu and treat us better and maybe we will do you better. Saturn in the twelfth - okay apparently this is where saturn is in its joy, and i guess its because god/ spirits judge you. and i guess thats a good thing because if anyone should judge you its him. except the pain here is you have ultimate freedom, you rarely get signs on what to do. will you make the right choice or the wrong once? well they are lucky because they always get there karma quickly so they can always recover fast. but these people struggle to empathise because they don't feel the energy of the room. sooooo just grow up you got the best saturn, and your karma resides is in your empathy. disclaimer - saturn wants you to be the best. and no one is.... so i like to think if you want a sense of direction (where are you going wrong) look at the saturn house and if you are successful congrats your doing saturn right. but be careful he always thinks you can do better, and he loves to humble you. so be-careful out there.
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socksandbuttons · 1 month ago
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How do you think TSAMS would be as parents? ✨️
I love you belle thank you for this totally umprompted yet again bats my eyes
WE'RE GOING DOWN SOME LISTS- edit: this got longer than expected. I have to put the rest under readmore cause I got so EXCITED to answer. I'm sure my brain had more but fdhjks just take IT BEFORE TUMBLR EATS IT AGAIN. puts the rest under read more good GOD
KC: yeah you know my stance on this, he's dadcode. He's got that paternal instinct. I will die on this hill. Do I think they couldve handled his character differently? Absolutely. And i dont mean making him more Dad-like. Just in general more exploration on this poor man suffering from lack of anything past his redemption. KC using the guise of being Father to Bloodmoon, not only that APPEALING to OG Bloodmoon so much, someone to have more familial bonds with in killing vs Eclipse who tried to keep him and use him.
I don't mind KC having had not only favouritism and manipulation there. It's not until he's given wildly conflicting stances that he thinks about it. And then loses this Bloodmoon. And then we dont hear from him. Which i think he was mourning. However thats a topic for another time.
To answer the question better- I think he'd put a lot of effort in trying to rekindle that. He's the 'oldest'. hes aware how used people can be, and works (and canon to a degree) to fix that. He likes the idea of being a dad, a lot of everyone needs a good father figure in this show (stares at creator). And dadcode gives us this, a tall figure willing to scoop you up and comfort quietly as your held and listen to your woes and offer some wisdom.
Sun: BRO IS SUCH A DAD NOW. LOOK AT HIM AND DAZZLE. SPOILS HER BUT QUICK TO MAKE SURE SHES NOT TOO SPOILED. Patient and creative in trying to give them fun and live delgihtfully as a kid given her fate. He's canonly willing to patiently sit kids down, even SunPea from EAPS literally using a tactic to communicate and calm them. While he's shown to be unsure hwo to feel about Jack, he's recently shown to treat him similarily too (in a similar vein, he had a similar way with Lunar, an older brother yes but theres bits in there). Bro IS GOOD with kids despite having complaints (who doesnt). Anythats just canon. I think its cute, genuinely a good dad. KC would be so proud.
Old Moon: Okay so this depends. I personally think he'd be fine to a degree. This is also due to my perception given how he treated Lunar. He adored Lunar, letting him not only stay, but adopted him. (Albiet because they were together but Lunar did open up to Moon and Monty about how he felt. Which Moon canonly is VERY protective of his family, literally an immediate 'alright this is my baby brother now'. Which is sweet. But he's known to be standoffish, Lunar had the fact he was in Moon's head thus more understanding of Moon.) Now this leads what it was then. Moon now is… better to a degree in treating his family. Though because of that he's feeling more silly uncle. (WEIRD RIGHT??) Which is still nice i like he's doing well.
NewMoon/Nexus: NOW THIS. Ive seen people respond the same way actually. NewMoon GOOD DAD. YES GOOD AMAZING. ive read one fic where he takes care of baby sun its cute. He would be- Esp given he would be actually taking the time to be in the daycare more thus more exposure to kids. Sun and Earth being good examples of people who'd help him if he struggled.
Nexus… yeah Nexus is feeling less likely to be good father, much less at all in canon at the moment. But im capable of spinning things. Just depends on circumstance. And how his arc ends (me pleading he gets redeemed or something. just turn him into a baby guys. its fine. itll solved EVERYTHING.) But if he ends on a redemption arc, I can see him being very hard on himself about trying to raise a kid right. he knows what not to do but due to idk being manipulated so badly and blinded by grief and self image problems…. he'd be seeking guidance a lot. He's already wronged many. It may be difficult for him to actively parent a kid. But in turn the kid being the part of his life that knows him for him as he is and still loves him?? Damn.
Earth: Wife- i mean she was programmed with a bunch of child care stuff. She originally was given 'motherly' programming. Of course its deviated but she's a learning AI of course it did, she's embraced being baby sister and frankly shes ALLOWED (people hating on that. She's embracing being girly pop and traditionally femme, doesn't make her wanna be Motherly at all times bruh shes come into her own and im proud of her). Doesn't discount she'd be a good mom. She WOULD actively make sure creator NEVER comes near her child/children. And given how you can OVERSTEP and she activivates her security code? Protective mom, willing to listen but like moms will absolutely not understand somethings.
Lunar: Okay i think its very funny everyones like 'dont… actually let him be a parent' and IM LIKE OKAY. Canonly YES not a parent type person. But Lunar's literally going thru his own life with constant stress and dissociation tactics. It's gotten better for him yes, but definitely in no state of mind to be a parent. Do i think in the future he could be? ABSOLUTELY. Right now? Not really, He's actually a.. interesting babysitter. He doesnt take nothing from kids and he will just not wanna interact if its too much. Encites chaos though, he would be the one who'd help the kids stage an uprising. Though im like eyeing the divorce arc Galaxy had up and im like 'oh my god disaster man… beautiful he's terrible at this'. Which is FUNNY given Lunar before his death was VERY good with kids, a quote with Sun. Anyway, the verdict is current canon Lunar? Not a parent type. Lunar in the future? Possibly yes. Lunar from before his death? Up for debate from ME, but also a no.
Ive seen people seperate each eclipse and like MAYBE. but we're just seperating by like… the eclipse who got the star vs Eclipse who's a clone but not now?? (I got some summary of Solar getting Star Eclipses soul or something-)
Eclipse who got the Star: Yes. I think he'd be a dad. What did you think I'd say? HE WOULDNT? Also true. Look what he's done to all his brothers/creations. But also bro has severe abandonment issues that led to him Killing lunar and then REGRETTING THAT (DONT SAY HE DIDNT. HE DID. AND KNEW MONTY WAS REMAKING LUNAR.) He wouldnt make the BEST parent, but legit as much as he hated how Solar Flare talked to him, got attached. Chances are if he gained a kid somehow it'd be similar. Wouldn't let his kid away from him too long. Before he got the star? Not much of a chance of him being a father canonly. Far too focused on revenge and how unforgiving he felt. In my baby back up au, he's reluctant to even get attached cause of his own self acclaimed goal (altho in my au, he's not immune to babies and the fact that in a sense its what he wanted out of himself and Lunar (think to the episode with Lunar reacting to baby versions of him and eclipse. similar thought)). Honestly him being in the computer was enough for him to close himself off. Solar Flare had to be in his head to even get thru to him. (STARES AT KILLCODE U ARE THE FATHER FIC I ADORE. FLARE BECOMING SENTIENT AND ECLIPSE JSUT GETTING PROTECTIVE OF HIS NEW CREATION… love it)
Eclipse Who Was Cloned But Isnt A Clone Now I Guess: he's gained not only Lunar's reconciliation but also befirended earth, got a somewhat apology from both moons?? IS parenting maybe the sun and moon in his new dimension. He got VERY possessive about looking for HIS sun which is fascinating. Also apparently now a dad? to a ghost? I think?? Anyway, he's already rather proven to be protective but also just willfully watching nearby to let them be. He's retreated into himself a bit but actively does care, even if its hard to show. If he had a kid theyd either understand or wont. But I think small actions could help.
Solar: LISTEN I ALREADY HAD THIS THOUGHT WITH MY SUN!LUNAR AU, HE IS DAD. AND NOW HE'S DAD TO JACK. ITS CUTE. BRO IS SO ANNOYED ABOUT WHAT JACK IS DOING- and then remembering he programmed that- and then hearing monty had to FIX HIM. But also genuinely just accepted he's jack's father. And working to be looking out for Jack despite how exasperated he sounds sometimes. It probably does endear him to know after his 'death' Jack took it to call him father more. Anyway on HOW theyd be a parent. Solar is seen to be rather standoff-ish, given in part to their changed story of his Moon abusing him and his Sun taking the time to actually talk to him before being removed. Bro's got trauma and struggles to let people help him. For being a dad he'd make sure theyre provided for, with jack he's at least making sure to start where he left off but not keeping jack away from him or at arms length either. Unlike Eclipse he'd let his kid do what they want, but also be sure to teach them when needed. He'd seem exasperated with somethings but genuinely try and be patient. Cute moments can include his kid wearing his gloves/goggles and boots… (or in my case his jacket and tool belt lol). Wouldn't take to people dissing his kids well like any eclipse.
Bloodmoon: Alright so- this is gonna be a mix of canon and not but thats why ur on this blog. Version 1 of the Bloodmoons? Honestly yeah I can see them doing so. They took to Lunar once he made the connection they were brothers. However, adopting and having their own would differ. Severely. Having their own, thats their own, immediate take to their new kid. Would be teaching them terrible ways to murder and hunt etc. This would also be something theyd be prideful about, literally showing off their kid and how murdery they are and how theyre doing SO good at being a parent. (UNLIKE ECLIPSE- i mean what).
Theyre more involved I'd say but also quite distracted with their own murdering. Lunar would be an UNCLE and Bloodmoon would absolutely drop off his kid for Lunar to babysit. NO I wont hear it for anyone to say he wouldn't. But this stems on Bloodmoon valuing family. Adopting… would be much harder. If the kid was Human? GOOD LUCK. Lunars pact might keep them possibly safe, but we've seen them be impulsive. Altho not impossible just… similar in case to trashman to a degree. Possibly being amused how spooked a kid might be, not fully outwardly killing but higher chance on death. If the kid got used to it and saw bloodmoon more as idk SAFER than a person??? Confusion for this child seeking out a murderer for safety. Anyway slowburn endearment and adoption.
Bloodmoon V2: Believe it or not They'd be more prone to adoption. (But Socks i hear u say the Og bloodmoon took forever- YEAH WE'RE GETTIN THERE). Canonly any bloodmoon and adopting is not totally feasible but stares at FC and how that was a thing where Bloodmoon COULD NOT kill them. Also will never live down the fact we almost got Foxy and Fc being Bloodmoons new keepers/family and Rude RUDE so rude to steal that away. This version of Bloodmoon was slaughtering left and right. Only reigns were Ruin and Stitchwraith (and for a time, Foxy. I believed in him. Thank you Thorns for the AU).
HOWEVER, this bloodmoon still had very strong connection to 'Family' and having one. Bro was jumping from monty being his 'father/creator' (LIES AND SLANDER) to Eclipse (he mentioned this) and then to KC. They WOULD be more prone to choosing their OWN family. They have trust issues and hate being a tool and genuinely (whether they were aware or not) were looking for a connection. Anyway, Similar to how V1 would be, prideful of their kid and yeah teaching to murder. But also kid teaching them silly things like games theyve seen others do, maybe watched some tv- interacted with other kids-. Bloodmoon V2 would kill everyone in this room and then themselves for their kid.
If it was just the remaining twin its gonna be increased ten fold for keeping the kid close.
Ruin: Given we have ruins backstory and also I am heavily influenced by Thorn's version of Ruin as well- Ruin would be an interesting parent. He's got Sun and Moon's code. Protective and willing to teach, but also would be the kinda parent to put them in a room so he can work safely without them interrupting his own plans. Its a weird divide or trying to make sure they dont know too much but are aware their parent is doing something Important. Ruin's own masks getting mixed up in raising the kid where the kid can be used to the flipflop nature their father is providing and also be unsure how to feel on it given Ruin can be quite aloof at times. one thing is certain tho is that Ruin would never let them think theyre anyless of a person.
There is also sweet Ruin who'd be silly and parental. He's affectionate for sure and holding their lil hands.
Dark Sun/Sunburn: @thorns-and-rosewings Is at fault for this entirely, I love how they portray him. This would be more based on their version of Dark Sun vs Canon. Canon seems less likely to really… want to care for anything really. (But again im behind as well and also everyone else i see makes him be dragon dad lol). But Neptor was his creation and had no connection to them, so unless their USEFUL, I guess he doesn't really care. Which would give you a very interesting scenario of slow burn caring. Genuinely just 'Oh well you did that better than I thought. Good job' with like the hint of manipulation but the kid might be fine, this is still a Sun. But guys got goals. So, he could be a good dad but so far from what we've seen (that I'm seeing anyway) Might not have the room in his heart anymore. But again not impossible the man is just gonna need a few years before going 'Oh. Hmn. Well my kid now'. And then after that the kid will be fine, their emotionally dead dad just needs a hug sometimes don't worry about the underlying plans this man might have for the universe. The kid will be fine.
NOW. NOW THORNS' SUNBURN. I love, does have his trauma and utter hatred of all moons. But also fiercely protective of his babies, because they're HIS. Like dude's scary to everyone but utterly endeared to his babies. The one thing that brings him joy, the thing he'd literally kill people over. Baby… Other than being protective, just caring and making sure they're taught well (coughs fearing moons in some cases coughs), having good eating habits. Similar to how Dazzle and Sun are but more subdued, quieter but patient. Moment a moons nearby tho? He's got at least 3 ways to incapacitate them, just in case. Bro's sad tho so he'll have his moments where he just NEEDS to hold the baby close, to be sure theyre safe. Maybe too over protective but depends on who's with him that he would trust. I'm sure thorns could word this better but LOVE LOVE their sunburn in their au's okay.
SolarFlare: Bro dead… Also was JUST getting sentience and all. But given how he was subjected to Eclipses mind and antics? Genuinely could be a good dad cause at least he'd have some idea how to handle things. That is if he even wants a child. Given how new to life he was and all, he'd probably enjoy learning new things and experiences. He is a learning AI and prone to picking up peoples patterns in their mannerisms as we've seen (just barely). Would be learning along with his kid tbh, allowing flowercrowns and uppies. But also with how his body is built? Might have difficulty in movement, and will learn fast his hands aren't the most delicate either. He's rather blunt about things but would be asking for advice in handling children. Might even walk up to Sun for child caring lessons like watching the daycare. Once again his movements and very Sharpness to his body could cause problems (scraping the tunnels- kids trying to jump on him- etc). Iron Giant vibes i'd think actually. All in all he's doing his best and sometimes just misses the mark on what the kid wants but he's figuring it out with them. Very awkward holding kid but the kid would probably love it.
Jack (i guess more in the future): He's silly and delightful but also he's capable of understanding psychology. He handles Dazzle very well (despite… doing some dangerous things but he's learning still in the show so I can forgive this). Would be proud dad, definitely taking his own Jack approach to parenting. Hands on, and probably getting Solar heart attacks from what he's doing lol. Would likely teach kid about knives, with care tbh. Esp now that he knows whats too dangerous for kids and what's more 'nah they can handle that, knife safety'. Would be prone to picking up their kid by the scruff maybe. Crawling around the ceiling with their kid clinging to them like a sloth. Everyone in this family would be protective. Jack would be rather lax in letting his kid roam freely without supervision. Not that he isn't protective, but he's drawing from the fact he likes freedom to do whatever but knows sometimes things do need attention.
Also had the idea if Dazzle couldn't grow up and Jack becoming primary caregiver after Sun. Sad but cute.
I'd add Monty but we see how they are with Lunar (Listen Monty definitely got attached and I'm sure at some point there was a connection due to Monty's own relationship with his dad being strained. Theyre friends but definitely was obvious Monty was pulling more paternal for a bit with Lunar. Not to mention Vegeta- wait I haven't seen him in a while where IS vegeta??? I appreciated Monty's arc with avoiding them to becoming their parent for real. I thought it was sweet.) However, Montys character gets wild sometimes, would be teaching the kid silly things but also if Earth's the mom? Lax parent being supportive and rowdy. Hands on in lessons, but if Earth steps in to correct 'Please don't teach our baby how to hold firearms-' 'I taught vegeta and Lunar' 'Monty they were old enough, our baby isnt even a year old' 'yeah thats why this is very safe, its not even loaded' ' wait Is that a watergun???' 'im seeing no downside here' 'here gimme that' "AH NO-' monty will be kept in line via watergun dont worry about that. Anyway this gator is silly.
B-B-BONUS ROUND because i spent so long thinking about AU's as well don't. worry about how long this post is. Just accept I got to ramble cause I got so happy seeing this ask arounD AND GETTING ONE.
Lord Eclipse: Everyone sit down. He would spoil the heck out of his kid okay. Theyre ROYALTY. They do what they want. Protective to a fault tho with his kid, genuinely keeping their world view limited, fearing he could get abandoned yet again by another creation. Will not let anyone near this baby. Get OUTAA HEREEE
Lord Lunar: Not Evil Lunar, Lord Lunar. We have two Star holding Lunars in canon (Current Lunar is just Star Lunar okay). For this guy to have made a kid in a dying world? He's rather nihilistic about it. Would be giving exactly what his kid wants, sometimes Eclipse needs to step in and go 'Headmaster thats… thats not helping, get this kid some SOUP' 'a pool of soup got it-' 'No like a small bowl.' Servant Eclipse would be such a weird uncle because like he'd be torn between using the kid to mess with Lunar but also… Kid genuinely likes him too. Might even think Eclipse's 'gotta plan to overthrow Lunar' is a game that they play. (It is technically at this point esp for Lunar. Servant Eclipse deseprately just 'I TOTALLY DONT CARE FOR MY BRO- HEADMASTER' the whole time. That's their vibe. Both Eclipse and Lunar would have discussed on ways for this kid to live away from a dying world. It'd be their straw to go 'we should probably leave'.
Evil Lunar: Baby is a monster now, not that Lunar really minds. Look at how much chaos they can cause!! Destruction! Who's a good baby?? They are!! In danger of getting bored of the baby tho. Altho getting outside influence may help uh Keep child ALIVE.
But also me:
Dad Lunar Au i have around where he gets what he wants (eclipse is DEAD), but gains a baby in the process. Unsure how to handle this and opts to find a way to put the baby somewhere else… Finds another and just 'WHO KEEPS LEAVING BABIES AROUND' While cradling them. One's a cry baby and the other is very quiet and has difficulty moving on their own. You can imagine the man trying his best.
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bartyssimp-riley-16 · 5 months ago
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Punches and donuts - Jason Todd x Wilson!reader
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Bruce had hosted this year's holiday party at Wayne Manor and invited his entire extended found family, plus several members of the Justice League and their extended families in turn. Jason had been invited too. He hadn't really wanted to go, but his brothers had convinced him.
Well, it hadn't been. People had spent the night whispering about his presence. His brothers had all shot him apologetic looks. The air had grown tense. Jason had stood up mid-meal and left without a word. He'd probably made things awkward at the party, he didn't care.
"Stupid dinner. Shouldn't have gone." He wasn't surprised that the streets were nearly empty. The snow was coming down heavily now, and a fierce wind had picked up, blowing a flurry of white into his eyes. He blinked the snowflakes away and pulled his jacket tighter wrapped around him.
"F*ck me," he cursed, furious. The night kept getting worse. He didn't have a ride. Everyone was at that stupid party. He'd have to walk back.
A soft rustling behind him was the only warning he got. Jason spun around and his instincts kicked in, the adrenaline from his earlier anger propelling his fist forward. His knuckles collided with the persons face, sending his attacker staggering backward.
Wait. That wasn't an attacker. "Oh, sh*t. Uh." God, tell him he didn't just break someone's nose. "F*ck. I'm sorry."
i hiss holding my nose, "fuck, Todd!"
"Oh, sh*t. You're bleeding."
Jason's annoyance with the fact that he'd just assaulted a bystander vanished in an instant, replaced by guilt and panic. He stepped forward to get a better look at the person in the dim streetlights. His brain had registered that it was a woman. Her hood was pulled up, making it difficult to see her face.
He gently took her wrist and pulled her hand away from her face. "Lemme see."
"Jason", i hiss softly, "careful"
It took a few seconds to register that he knew that voice, but when it clicked, Jason's eyes widened in horror.
"YN? F*ck."
He'd punched her. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. It could have been worse, but it didn't change the fact that he'd hurt one of the very few friends he had.
Jason held her chin in his hands, tilting her head up to inspect the damage. "I didn't see you," he started, trying to rationalize, his eyes filled with remorse.
"yeah, figured", i chuckle
Jason let out a heavy exhale, relieved that she seemed calm and not, say, homicidal. She was making light of the situation, which probably meant she was okay, but he still felt awful all the same. "I didn't mean to, I thought you were—well, you know what I thought."
There was no point in trying to explain himself. He'd f*cked up. He just hoped he hadn't done any lasting damage and winced when he saw the blood dripping from her nose.
i smile, "its fine Todd"
"It's not fine."
If anything, her being so casual about it made him feel worse. She was being so nice, and he'd hit her. Punched her in the face. If she was anyone else, they'd probably be furious right now.
"I hurt you, Yn. I should've—I should've been more aware."
He released her chin and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Here." He pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to her.
"thanks" i place the handkerchief against my nose," yah alright?" i huff softly.
He nodded, albeit reluctantly. "I'm fine. I'm worried about you more than me right now."
He watched as she pressed the handkerchief to her nose, feeling the guilt gnaw at him. He'd always had a short temper, but this incident was downright unacceptable.
"Is your nose broken?" he asked in a low voice, still watching her with a worried frown.
"nah, itll be fine, aint my first rodeo"
There was something about the casual, lighthearted way she talked about getting punched in the face that concerned him more than anything else.
"Yn," he said, his voice taking on a tone that was half-exasperated, half-serious. "This ain't funny, y'know. You just walked into a right hook. A heavy one, at that. It's probably not good that you're laughing right now."
i try holding back a smile, "aww are u concerned about me Todd?"
He rolled his eyes, his cheeks feeling a little warmer. "Don't make me regret worrying about you, Wilson," he shot back in a gruff voice, but there was no real annoyance behind the words.
"I punched you. This isn't fun and games. You—"
He stopped himself just in time before the word "deserve" spilled from his lips. He was grateful she was being so casual, but the fact remained that he'd hurt her.
""you" what?"
He froze for a moment, mentally kicking himself for letting the word almost slip out. He clenched his jaw, trying to find the right words.
"You...deserve better than this," he said finally, his voice low and quiet. "You deserve better than someone who can't tell the difference between you and a..."
An attacker. He swallowed the word down, feeling the weight of it on his tongue. He didn't want to explain why he'd been on edge, not that it would justify punching her in the face.
"can u stop? u sound like some sappy teenager, im fine, really - i am, okay?"
His shoulders slumped a bit, the tension leaving him as he realized that she wasn't going to let him beat himself up over this. He sighed, a hint of irritation in the sound. "Fine," he begrudgingly agreed. "I'll stop, but can you please stop acting like getting punched in the face is just another Tuesday?"
"-but it is, being a vigilante isnt easy, u should know"
He gave her a deadpan look. "I know that, Yn" he said with a roll of his eyes. "I'm not some newbie vigilante who hasn't taken a punch or two."
His expression softened a bit. "But just because we're used to getting hurt, that doesn't mean it's okay to brush it off when we do get hurt."
i smile," im okay, but are u? u left the dinner very...abruptly"
He averted his gaze, trying to act casual. "What's there to be okay about?" he quipped, shrugging. "Dinner was dull, the people were dull, and I had a damn headache. Had to get out of there."
"cmon, lets go be gloomy on a rooftop", i say in a mock deep voice
He couldn't help but snort at her silly imitation of his usual demeanor. "You're so damn annoying, you know that?" he said, but there was no genuine annoyance in his words.
"Alright, let's go be all brooding and edgy on a rooftop," he agreed with a light chuckle. i watch him amused.
He noticed her amused expression and shot her a reproachful look. "Stop looking at me like that," he grumbled, folding his arms over his chest. "like what?" i poke his arm
He sighed at her playful poke, resisting the urge to roll his eyes again. "Like you're enjoying this, like you find it amusing that I'm bothered,” he said. “I accidentally punch you, and you just laugh it off. Anyone else would be angry. But not you. You just find it funny."
"it is funny". His expression darkened at her nonchalant response. "Funny? It's funny that I hurt you? What's so funny about that, Yn?" he demanded, his voice rising with frustration and disbelief.
"u were so caught off guard" i chuckle softly, i nudge him playfully, "im okay"
He grumbled, letting out a long sigh. "Yeah, I was caught off guard, but that doesn't make it amusing." He looked at her, his expression still showing traces of irritation.
"I just...I don't like the fact that you're so casual about it. You didn't even get mad at me. Any other person would've been furious."
"want me to yell?" i ask jokingly
He couldn't help but roll his eyes at her offer. "No, don't be ridiculous," he retorted. "I just...I don't get why you're not angrier about this. You're just so...calm."
"if u wanna make it up to me, u can buy me donuts"
He raised an eyebrow at her request, surprise mixing with irritation. "Donuts? You want me to make it up to you by buying you donuts?" He shook his head incredulously. "Seriously, Wilson? Donuts? That's all it takes to make you not mad at me?"
"jelly filled, raspberry" He rolled his eyes, a scoff escaping his lips. "Jelly filled, raspberry, fine. Any other requests? Want me to tie a bow on the box too, while I'm at it?"
"sure", i muse
He could have strangled her with how blasé she was being, and now she had the audacity to demand a bow too. "You're insufferable, you know that?" he growled, a hint of a smirk on his face. i smile, "of course"
He shook his head, fighting back a sigh. "You're lucky you're cute," he muttered under his breath, realizing he was begrudgingly enjoying their banter. I grin at him, "think im cute?"
He tried to keep his expression neutral, but a hint of a flush crept across his cheeks. "Don't fish for compliments, Wilson," he grumbled, looking away from her gaze. "You know damn well you're cute."
i smile "damn right"
He rolled his eyes but couldn't suppress the hint of a smirk that tugged at his lips. "Arrogant, aren't you?" he retorted, but there was no genuine annoyance behind it.
"arrogant? me? yes" i joke.
"...can u buy me my donuts...tomorrow morning?"
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whalesforhands · 1 year ago
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hiii i was your first anon ever but how about reader with someone ELSE crushing on her? under stsg’s noses?! omg the absolute war that will go down… maybe its a new student or maybe a first year! haibara? haibara a first year who has become absolutely enamored with her and heart eyes whenver he sees her!! and ykw shes so sweet oh so kind she doesnt find him odd in fact she thinks he’s equally sweet and shes so a fond of him, gives him the prettiest smiles and helps him out a lot! except shes so oblivious to the fact that he likes her!! everyone knows. everyone. shoko, nanami. (nanani tries his best to warn haibara about the future in liking her bc of the two guard dogs around her but haibara doesnt get the hints) AND stsg. oh when those two find out itll be an immediate shut down. maybe shoko lets out about the heart eyes haibara gives her everytime he sees her in the morning. or maybe they catch haibara and reader in a conversation where haibara is sweating and blushing a bright pink and reader is just calmly (?) and worriedly talking to him talking about some subject she found interesting, she reaches to touch his hand or head and he heats up even more and she has to almost catch him from fainting. stsg in the distance are fuming!!! satoru’s plan is to go storming in and makeout with her and give her a couple of hickies but suguru knows she might pass out from that and tells him to relax.. even tho inside suguru is equally distraught…but anyways… how you write is up to you!!!
so happy youre growing more and more and your stories are getting better!!!🩶🩶🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🤍❤️‍🔥
i love haibara man. everybody loves haibara i’m not gonna be mean to him cause he’s a literal ray of sunshine. no one can convince me to make haibara suffer, not even u, my no.1 anon.
so i completely changed ur suggestion hahahah
our first years are too cute! (geto x reader x gojo)
“Nanami-kun, Haibara-kun!” You wave at them from the courtyard, your arms flailing about in the air as you practically bounce in place from excitement.
“Good morning!” You’re dressed in your exercise getup, Shoko next to you stretching as she gave a lazy wave towards them.
“(last name)-san is always so cheery, isn’t she?” Haibara enthusiastically waved back with his whole body, trying to match your jolly energy.
“Good morning!!!”
Nanami sighs, watching as the SG duo begin to flank you, Suguru’s arm resting around your shoulders as Gojo pulls out some senbei from his pockets, waving it in the air and claiming they were fresh off the grill and deliciously ready for anyone to sink their teeth into.
“You’re gonna get stomachaches if you accept food from him.” Suguru whispers not very inconspicuously into your ear as you laugh.
“I can hear you!”
“If you can then you should treat us to some soda.” Shoko adds in, her arms twirling themselves around your free one as she stares at the bespectacled sorcerer.
“Or we’ll tell Yaga-sensei you skipped out on running 3 laps.”
You look at him stunned. Betrayed.
“I let you finish my water bottle when you said you were exhausted from running…” You’re disheartened at being tricked as Geto rubs your shoulder, whispering more about ‘liars’ and ‘dirty cheats’.
Shoko simply smirks as she holds your arm.
Satoru gives in to pressure.
“…The Satoru wallet has made an appearance once more! What would our lovely users like to drink today?!”
Your slackened shoulders instantly pipe up as the other 2 share a secretive high five.
——
“And that’s why azuki bean flavour is the best, Nanami-kun!” You grin as you plop the said wrapped bread into his open palm.
It feels hot. He could practically see the steam arising from it, the slight sweetness of the red bean wafting into temptingly into his nose.
This is too fresh to be from the cafeteria. It smells different too.
(He would know.)
“(last name)-san,” He stares at the treat whilst Haibara was gushing over the food, eyes sparkling as he looks at it. “Did you make this?”
You flinch, bashfully twirling a lock of your hair as you avoid his gaze.
“No…?”
Your eyes flit back up to meet an unamused stare paired with a cocked eyebrow. Oh. You’ve been caught.
“Aha.” You turn your back to him as your voice grows quieter, more insecure. “Is it obvious because it’s ugly?”
Realization then strikes you.
“A-ah, you probably wouldn’t want it because it’s homemade, right? Sanitation issues and all…” You promptly spin back around, trying to retrieve your treats before Haibara interrupts.
“(last name)-senpai made it?! Then there’s no way we can reject it!” He’s hugging the treat in his arms and dodging your attempts to snatch it back.
“B-but it really isn’t any good! I’ll buy you some from the one down the street!”
Even Nanami was now using his height to hold your treat high in the air, out of your reach. Haibara moves to copy his movements, both hands holding your homemade snack as high as he could go, proudly showing it off to the sky as if it were his greatest treasure.
“I will never forget this kind gesture, (last name)-senpai!”
“We will greatly savour this as your underclassmen.”
“Why do you both sound like this is the last thing you’re ever going to get from me?!”
——
“Then, Nanami swept in and went KABOOSH! And the curse was down several limbs!” Haibara recalled, his fists pumping into the air as he tried to replicate the excitement he felt during the mission.
You nod excitedly, happy to simply hear his excited voice.
It goes silent when he finishes, the tension enveloping the both of you.
You don’t want him to feel awkward around you.
Mm, what do the younger ones like nowadays anyways? Gundams? Maybe you should talk about that Ex-S MXA-0011 Gundam that you built with Satoru the other day.
“Ah…” He scratches his head, lost. “I’m sorry that I don’t know much about Gundams!” He’s now fervently bowing in apology.
You feel bad.
“Haibara-kun, you don’t need to bow!” You’re waving your hands frantically, trying to get him to stop as you panic.
You go back to thinking, absentmindedly staring deep into your lowerclassmen’s eyes as you think about the latest trends.
(You’re not noticing how intensely you’re looking at him. He’s blushing up a storm.)
“Oh!” Your fist taps your into your open palm.
“Do you like Pokemon?”
“Ah, Pocket Monsters?!” He’s excited. “Do you like it as well, (last name)-senpai?! I have a copy of the Fire Red version and I-“
He’s trailing off. You’re happy to see him smile again as he prattles on and on. So precious.
“You’re cute when you talk about things you like, Haibara-kun.”
Are kids these days meant to be so red?
(He’s only a year below you.)
“Are you okay?” You move forward, hand gingerly moving his bangs aside before you press the back against his flushed skin, face slowly closing in on his.
“Haibara-kun, are you not-“
“Haibara-chan has a cold, doesn’t he?!” Gojo tackles the boy, placing his own forehead against his own as Geto appears next to them.
“Sick people should take it easy and rest.” Geto snatches the boy away from his partner, dragging Haibara onto a nearby chair, slapping a fever patch onto his forehead as Gojo sticks a thermometer into the poor underclassman’s mouth.
“Guys, is that not a little rough…?” You move forward to try to stop Yu’s body from being tossed around, his eyes starting to spin as you try to catch him.
“Look at that!” Gojo’s arm is hugged around your neck as he pulls you in closer, grabbing you and pulling your body towards him for you to view the beeping thermometer with him.
“Our poor boy is burning up!”
“Well that’s not goo-“
“Suguru!” He snaps his fingers in the air as his hand moves to now rest on your waist as you’re pressed into his side.
“Contact the hospital and bring us our finest doctor!”
“Understood, sir!” Geto stands to attention, saluting the both of you as your eyes blankly stare at him.
What.
Geto simply winks at you, shaking his phone in his hand that had popped out of those seemingly endless deep pockets.
“Shooookooooo, emergency in the courtyard!”
You hear a muffled sigh coming out of his device as Gojo suddenly outs his own phone to take a selfie with you and a red Haibara.
(“Just smile as cutely as usual!”)
“…what does this have to do with me?”
——
Haibara Yu never felt such joy.
‘My seniors care about me so much!’
Gojo’s holding him by his legs, whilst Geto’s supporting the weight of his arms as they quite literally cart him around by his limbs.
He’s in bliss before he’s unceremoniously tossed onto the hard wooden bench, an unimpressed Shoko appearing by his side.
“Alright, patient of the day.” Her eyes glint as her hands move to hover over his body. “Get ready to experience the healing of a lifetime.”
“Yayyy, Shoko is the best!”
“World class!”
“She looks pretty when she’s so focused…”
“What did you troublesome lot pull Haibara into…?”
Should… He be scared? No. He’s got his trusty seniors and Nanami to look over him. He trusts you all.
——
“Which one of you made your little ‘adjustments’ to my chair?” Yaga growled out, a throbbing pain throughout his lower back and posterior as he sat upon the steps, pain relief patch slightly peeking out of his pants whilst looking down towards the two kneeling suspects.
Fingers are pointed at each other.
Yaga glares at the two culprits refusing to take the blame.
“You troublesome lot…” He cracks his knuckles as the two begin to cower slightly.
“NEED MORE DISCIPLINE!” He lets loose his fist, sending the SatoSugu duo flying as they soar through the yard, yelps of pain being let out.
Haibara gulps as he hears the commotion happening just meters away from him.
He should just ignore the building irritation and rage that’s boiling from within the senior beside him… Right?
He feels a sudden smack to his gut as his body jolts up, his ears taking the brunt of the loudest he’s ever heard Ieiri-senpai.
“I CAN’T CONCENTRATE IF YOU DON’T SHUT IT!”
(She’s referring to her two injured classmates who are rubbing their heads as they whine about Yaga’s ‘mistreatment’.)
(You’re holding an ice pack to Satoru’s head as Suguru curls up beside you, waiting for his turn.)
——
Sleeping.
That’s what you were all doing. The sun was beginning to set, an orange glow engulfing your forms in its warm embrace as the night began to settle in.
Suguru’s back is against the tree, arms crossed against his chest as he slumps over, snoring lightly with Satoru drooling all over his right shoulder.
You’re nestled comfortably on his other shoulder, snuggling yourself into his neck as you nearly fall onto his chest, one hand in Shoko’s hair where she lays on your lap, her hand oddly stretched forward, fingers grazing the fabric of Suguru’s knees.
The underclassmen simply settle down around the tree with all of you, right next to Gojo as they observe the strangely serene sight.
“Our upperclassmen… Are kinda cute, aren’t they?”
“Don’t flatter them.”
(“Should we wake them up?”)
(“…Let them rest for a little longer.”)
masterlist
Notes:
“Suguru, is your head fine?”
“Ah, I’m quite alr-“ He pauses, his smile growing as he looks at you, eyes curving up into mischievous crescents. “Actually… It does feel a little sore.” His tone subtly shifts to one of mock hurt, hand coming up to press the bump softly as he fakes a little wince.
(A little lie wouldn’t hurt, right?)
“Wanna make me feel better?” He’s silent as he leans down towards you, hoping you pat his head and let him indulge a little in your touch.
You stare at him.
He’s surprised when you slowly lean up on your toes, fingers pressing against his cheek before a kiss was administered to his forehead as you tuck away his strand of hair.
“I hope you feel better soon.” You watch him as his blush grows, eyes staring starstruck at you.
“…”
“I will if you do that again.”
(“My head hurts too! It’s my turn!”)
(“My hand hurts all of a sudden from whacking Haibara.”)
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