#but im not ever seeing pieces like that. nobody seems to be doing the nuance any more. its just all in one way or the other
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why does it feel like the only options anymore are babygirl ed teach into oblivion and pretend like he never did anything bad, or make him the worst person on the fucking planet and incapable of doing anything to earn any forgiveness (not that he even tries)
#im just. frustrated i guess#i see posts calling him an innocent princess and acting as though everyone deserved what he did#(and by everyone i mean izzy because they forget literally anyone else was hurt by him)#and i also see things where they make him just. everything the legends say he was and unforgivable to the point even stede turns his#back on him#i think we should acknowledge ed did a hell of a lot of bad things to people for no reason (and im not talking about the regular ol piracy)#while also giving him the chance to apologise and grow and do better in the future#(and it upsets me to no end that the show couldnt even do that for him. they acted like it was one and done)#i think theres interest in exploring the nuance of what ed did and whether he can be forgiven by the characters#whether they even should forgive him either#but im not ever seeing pieces like that. nobody seems to be doing the nuance any more. its just all in one way or the other#maybe im fucking wrong for finding sympathy in his character while not excusing his actions#maybe its wrong to think that he should have to work for forgiveness but that he deserves the chance to do that#but i like to think there's a world out there where he builds something new with the crew. its different. but its something#he deserves the chance to try at least#nyxtalks#ofmd
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whats so funny is that my end of the argument when it comes to gerard and drawing the parallels of how i watch him being treated by people vs how i watch brendon being treated and my thoughts on all of it always comes down to “but i recognize and acknowledge these individuals humanity and see them as nuanced human beings who make mistakes and will not always say or do things that i personally like, and sometimes they will offend me. and that is okay. they are still deserving of kindness and respect.” meanwhile everyone who has attempted to provide some kind of counterpoint only argues that brendon is some kind of evil piece of shit, as though that detracts from the core issue of how openly lgbt people are treated and regarded by the public. its so funny, i literally made the point in that original post how people will see an out lgbt celebrity that they dont like and use their perceived moral failings as an excuse to be homophobic or transphobic, and here people are perpetuating that very same issue by attempting to label him as some kind of monster to justify why people would dunk on him. youre not helping, youre not adding anything of value to these social movements or conversations, youre just engaging in black and white thinking and caping for communities of people that dont even know or care about half this shit unless theyre incredibly online and rarely ever speak to flesh and blood physical humans. i can pretty confidently promise you that if you brought a vine of brendon singing along to a song that has the n word in it from like 6 or 7 years ago, or a video of brendon tipsy onstage like over a decade ago putting his foot in his mouth and lamenting that he “wishes he was as cool as black people so he didnt look like such a dork wearing certain clothes” to an naacp conference theyd look at you like youre completely deranged. i can also, just based on my findings, based on what ive witnessed, statistically speaking say that the majority of people who hang onto these things against brendon are, well, white. like im so serious every single person ive encountered who has whipped out that vine and that concert clip has been white. gotta say, weird world lotta smells. tons of things you people focus on that really pull back on the advancement of very real issues that need to be addressed and handled in this world. and you so often see people being like “i can worry about these things and those other more serious things too!!!” can you??? can you really??? cuz i see you talking more about shit that no one irl cares about far more often than i see you talking about actual complex current day issues that havent already been beaten like a dead horse. nobody is saying or ever has said that those behaviors arent ignorant or are acceptable, what were trying to drive home to you is that the behaviors and these issues have been fucking beaten to a pulp and overanalyzed and talked about to death. and not only that but have not been shown to be repeat offenses. yall are all about love and kindness and rehabilitation, but then the very moment its a celebrity you dont personally like saying and doing shit that you perceive to be a blight on their character there is no rehabilitation, there is no forgiveness, there is no growth and kindness, go straight to jail do not pass go do not collect $200. truly begging some of yall to get a very real grip. look inwardly and see the way most of your morals conflict with the way you choose to speak on other human beings just because you seem to believe that their money or notoriety negates their humanity. understand that a lot of what you say or believe is inherently hypocritical or has a greater impact and implication on the people that immediately surround you and see the way you talk on a daily basis. as i said, neither of these people are vile or bad, theyre just human fucking people. none of these individuals in question have ever committed any kind of crimes against humanity. at worst all theyve ever been is loud-mouthed and ignorant.
#im just so past the very juvenile behavior of treating celebrities like theyre subhuman simply because theyre celebrities#like call me whenever brendon runs a sweatshop or murders someone or some shit#hes just a dude who makes music you dont like get completely over it im begging you he is not that deep
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You bring me colours
Hello and welcome to mean and angsty hours. Today I bring to you a soulmate fic, but it is sad and hurtful.
Thank you my lovely enablers for helping me bringing this to life, despite my very weak protests. Be mindful, my loves, if you are having a bad day you might want to skip this one. It ends happily, do not worry, but the way there is ouchie.
Warnings; Implied character death (real and not real), vauge description of drinking and depression, just, sad in general. A little bit soft too, and hopeful, but mostly sad. Im sorry.
On Ao3 here
Everybody has a soulmate. When your One comes into the world, they bring colors with them. And when they go, so do the colors. Many a poet sings of a world gone gray, of a love unknowingly lost. Because you don’t always meet your one. For some, it is enough to know they are out there. For some, the hunt lasts their entire lifetime. Some lucky few find each other, and some never do, settling in peace anyway.
---
For Vesemir, he had color for almost a century. But a witchers life is rough, and he knows not to seek them out. Not to give hope, not to feel greed. Just gift them with colors as long as he is able. He has an inkling who is His. His One. They must know too, but they never say.
Vesemir sits at the teachers table. It is lively in the hall, the children are laughing and making a mess as children do. They are his pride and his burden. Not all will be allowed to grow up, but he will do his best to give them a fighting chance. He raises his spoon towards his mouth, the soup smelling warm and rich.
The spoon falls with a clatter to the table.
Everything is black and white.
He is in front of everybody. In charge of so many lives. He was gifted with color for such a long time, this was to be expected. But if his One is who he thinks it is, then….
The screaming begins outside. The sacking of Kaer Morhen has begun.
---
Jaskier has always seen color. Always seen the color of the sky, the flowers and the nuances of snow.
When Jaskier is six years old, that changes.
He runs to his mothers, tears streaking down his face. Her dress used to be a bright green, her eyes a rich blue.
“Where did the colours go?” He cries. He knows he is too big to cry, but he is scared and sad.
Mother seems to be sad too. Heartbroken in fact, and she picks him up and holds him close.
After that day, the only color Jaskier can see is yellow. The color of the sun, of buttercups, some cat’s eyes. Of puss, of stains and of age.
--
There are many ways to die. The old Geralt dies when his knife plunges into Renfri's neck.
Geralt's colors came some years ago. When it happened he didn’t panic. He followed Vesemir's advice and pushed it as far back as he possibly could. It was only a small disappointment that the world didn’t turn grey when Renfri died. Because that is what Geralt felt like.
The colours stay, and he despises them. They glare at him, blaming him for still being there. How can he think he ever deserves happiness?
-----
In Posada, Jaskier finds someone with yellow eyes. They call to him like no other, so he goes. It is the best decision he has ever made, if the most difficult one. But with Geralt around, it is almost as if his memories of colours are springing to life. Sometimes he remembers that poppies are red, that water can be rich blue, and that autumn leaves can look like a fire. The fire he remembers from his past, but around Geralt they are so vivid they almost look real.
His mother told him not to tell. To hold those memories close. She taught him the colors through names and pictures, so that if someone asked, he would know.
Jaskier knows that his lost colours means that his One is dead. Some kind of dead, at least, if the professors are to be believed. If you get to keep a colour, even if it’s just the one, there is a chance. So Jaskier leaps at every chance he gets. He is one of those who chase, and will continue to chase.
----
Geralt is reluctant to Jaskier. Reluctant, because when he is around he is starting to feel alive again. Jaskier pokes and prods and smiles and sings and talks, and it is all Geralt can do to fight it.
---
A hot summer day Geralt finally gives in and they're just being goofy and like wrestling in a river. All the sudden Jaskier can see the color of the grass and he freaks out and scrambles out of the river and just lays down in front of a tuft of grass like 'holy shit geralt look at that.”
The bard is absolutely mesmerized for a moment, but when Geralt comes to look at what caught his attention, before he catches himself. Shit. Geralt can’t know.
So he plays it off, especially when the tuft of grass slowly fades back to grey. There is a lump in his throat, hope so big in his chest he wants to explode. They are out there, his One. They are still here.
---
There are many changes during their travels. Yennefer, for one. It is with her arrival that Jaskier realizes he is in love with Geralt. Deeply, desperately in love with him.
Another change happens on a cold and lonely mountain top. Geralt finally breaks, breaks everything, and Jaskier feels a spark inside himself diminish.
The further away from the mountain he gets, the more muted the world becomes. Even his memories stay out of his reach, as in fear of the pain he feels.
----
The moment Jaskier leaves the mountain, his world goes gray. Things click into place. He closes his eyes against the pain, letting it tear through him, cut him open.
Jaskier was his One.
And he killed him.
---
Geralt doesn’t know why the sky is still blue. He doesn’t understand how Ciris cloak is not grey, her eyes as startling blue as the love he once lost.
He thought he lost Yennefer on Sodden hill, but when he meets her, she is wearing a dress the color of Jaskiers eyes.
He breaks down at her feet, finally crumbling after all this time. He tells her everything, and she wipes his tears with infinite patience. How he deserves that from her, he doesn’t know.
“Why blue?” she asks him. “What relationship do you have with blue?”
And Geralt thinks about it. It is Ciri who finally puts the pieces together. Blue as Jaskiers eyes, he had said. And if you get to keep a colour, even if it’s just the one, there is a chance, or so a bard had told her in her grandmother's ballroom.
---
There are many ways to die. Jaskier is drowning. Drowning in pain and alcohol, sinking to a bottom, looking up at a golden sun. Not even the bright yellow can cheer him up, not when it reminds him so much of Geralt's eyes.
He doesn’t chase anymore. He accepts. Accepts that he will be alone, that nobody wants to be with someone destined for no one.
---
Geralt finds him in a tavern. Geralt walks in, so Jaskier must out. The one thing Geralt asks of him, after all these years. The least he can do is listen.
But Geralt follows him outside. Grabs his arms. Cups his cheeks. Asks for forgiveness. It takes time for Jaskier to register his words, he is deep down, he is drowning. But the sun seems closer now, becking him upwards.
He doesn’t understand why Geralt is here, but his broken heart is held together with Geralt's arms around him.
---
Geralt is scared to tell the bard. After all the pain he caused, how can he possibly make things right.
Geralt does everything he can to get the colours back, but they won’t come. Now that he has had a taste, now that he knows that it was his words, not his hands, that took them, he fights. He won’t make Jaskier follow him anymore. He tries something new.
They walk beside each other, a careful pace forward is set. It takes time, but his colours return. Jaskiers smiles are brighter, his eyes cornflower blue.
Then Jaskier confesses to him, he sees no colours but gold. How he carried it inside all this time, hoping that his One is out there, and Geralt can’t wait any longer.
“I want to give them to you. The colours that you bring to me, I want to give back to you.”
And he tries. Everyday he tries. And Jaskier holds his hand all the while.
#soulmate au#but sad#kinda#angst#hopeful ending#the withcer#the witcher netflix#geraskier#soulmates makes you see colors#and im going to spell colour differently every time#geralt of rivia#jaskier the bard#witcher vesemir#the sacking of kaer morhen#implied death#no mains die but#yennefer of vengerberg#cirilla of cintra#dapanda writes#cw drinking#cw depression#take care love#be kind to yourselves
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The MK7 GTI is better by being worse; 3 months of ownership and still loving every minute. (Long) via /r/cars
The MK7 GTI is better by being worse; 3 months of ownership and still loving every minute. (Long)
Edit; Title should says 2 months, typo :-(
Having now owned 2 different VWAG products allows me to have taken a different prospective on the differences that occur over time with automotive technology and production methods. My last Volkswagen was a 2010 Jetta Wolfsburg edition, it had the 2.0TSI engine paired to a 6 speed manual, and for whatever reason I got it into my head that it was “Just like a GTI�� and “this is just as good.” I was also unable to find a MK6 GTI that ticked the boxes and was within’ my price range, so “that’ll do.”
Four years of my life, completely wasted behind the wheel of a Jetta; I couldn’t be more wrong. Yes, the Mk5 Jetta and Golf were based on the same platform, and yes my Jetta had the same handling package and anti-roll bars as its Mk5 GTI cousin, but it just never felt like a “performance” car, it felt more like my girlfriend’s Honda with a turbocharged engine nailed under the hood, with some leather garnished through the interior, actually it wasn’t leather, it was “V-tex”, and it was terrible.
Im being a bit not fair, I did like my Jetta, I liked the torque it made, I liked how spacious it was for a car in the “compact” segment. It always felt more premium than all of its rivals in a similar price point, and at this time there were no direct competitors. In 2010 there was no American or Japanese Sedan/hatchback that made 200 horsepower and had a 6 speed manual gearbox, yes the Civic SI was close, but it also was more expensive on the used market, and wasn’t quite as comfortable either.
But something just never was right about the Jetta, it suffered from an identity crisis. It had tons of power under the hood, but an electronic throttle that made rev match downshifting damned near impossible because of terrible input delay. The turbocharger never quite gave me the “shove” that one would expect from a turbo 4 pot, even though it had a smooth and linear power band, and the upgraded suspension that came with the Wolfsburg edition package just made the car ride worse, and didn’t seem to improve body roll or handling much over a standard Jetta. Sure it was great on the expressway, got excellent fuel economy (I once topped off at 36 MPG), but it just didn’t quite feel special enough.
An opportunity popped up to buy an old pick up truck for next to nothing as a light restoration project, so I leaped on it. Once the truck was running the Jetta got tucked away in the garage, and forgotten about. My 25 year old Ford Ranger became my daily driver, and it was exactly what I expected it to be, slow and lazy with an awesome stereo system and a 15 second 0-60 time, I drove it for a year with anticipation of selling it and seeing if I got my money back from purchase and repairs, and I did.
Now that I have had some time with my recently acquired GTI, I can say I have found some interesting differences in quality and design that sets it apart from my old Jetta. It most definitely feels like a better car in every respect; its newer. But I have found cost cutting measures; and in places that I least expected. Crawling under the car reveals a stamped steel subframe assembly, it looks nearly identical to the subframe found in my Jetta, except in the Jetta it was made of cast Aluminum. The oil pan is made of a composite material, and the drain plug screw is made of the same composite and requires replacement frequently to keep oil leaks from occurring.
The battery box is made from a fabric, rather than a hard plastic material, and the oil filter previously was a whole steel cartridge unit that would screw off and a new one screwed on, but now its a plastic housing with a paper element filter inside; I’m actually thankful for this, this makes replacing the filter much less expensive, but it is cost cutting none the less. Then comes the really unexpected bit; the interior quality. Yes the interior on the GTI looks and feels nicer than my old Mk5 Jetta, but its not as well put together. Day one and I was finding all kinds of annoy rattles with door panels and speakers, it made enjoying my music nearly impossible because the drivers door rattled so badly I just kept the volume low, or the rear plastic trim on the passenger side at the back seat the wasn’t fully clipped into place causing an annoying ticking sound over bumps. Thankfully I knew how to fix all of these problems with general tricks, using wedges and rubber/foam adhesive pieces I was able to track down and solve all of the vibrations, but the fact still remains; this car wasn’t put together as nicely as my Jetta was. Yes, I know it was used, but so was my Jetta, and both of these cars had nearly identical mileage, and were nearly identical ages.
On to a controversial component of the car; the Soundaktor on the GTI. Now, I know I’m going to get some pushback on this, but I really like this feature. Newer cars are much quieter than cars of the past, and driving a manual car is best done by listening to the engine, rather than having your eyes glued to a tachometer. With the GTI in “normal” driving mode, the engine is exactly that; nearly dead silent in day to day laid back driving, but if you turn to Sport mode, the Soundaktor makes a loud and audible grumble behind the dashboard all of the time, it makes shifting gears easier, and removes some of that refinement that was put in place by engineers to make the car more pleasant day to day. I like a good exhaust note as much as the next guy, but having the option of turning that off and on at will is a game changer, it actually made driving easier for me.
Lastly; the most like-able thing about the GTI is something I never expected to encounter; community. You see, with my previous Volkswagen, I never experienced this. Even after modifying it with wheels, and a lip kit, and custom headlights, I never got any sense of community, other car people never gave it a 2nd glance. It was great in a regard where nobody ever noticed it, but also never really made the car stand out. In the past 2 months I have had GTI, GLI, and VW fans alike giving me a friendly wave, peace sign or smile whenever we encounter each other. Everybody likes the GTI, everybody sees it and knows what it is, even if its styling is more conservative than the other hot hatchbacks currently offered.
Despite all of these nuances, the MK7 is leaps and bounds better than its older cousins. It seems that Volkswagen has figured out a comfortable balance in cost cutting without really ruining the experience to the driver. It still looks and feels just as premium as before, and suffers from virtually none of the drawbacks of what a cheap hot hatchback was back in the 90s. It is composed, comfortable, quiet, economical, and the complete opposite at the press of a button.
10/10 would buy again.
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Beloved
idek man i had writers block then i just really needed laith to be parents and this happened i didn’t proofread and im dead inside so fuck it here.
The smell of food filled the air, and Keith was absolutely ravenous. He sat down and piled food onto his plate, ignoring Lance’s amused expression. “What? It’s a celebration, right?” Lance pretended to zip his lips and followed behind him with his own plate of food.
The party went on around them. The Arusian king was dancing with a very confused Allura. Pidge and Hunk were chowing down on snacks and going on about some of the protection tech the put up. Shiro was with Coran and the lions were set up around the area, providing the comfort of protection. Lance sat beside Keith, fixing him with that dorky doe-eyed look.
“What?” Keith asked, suppressing a smile.
“Just really like looking at you,” he answered, leaning into him. Keith felt butterflies burst in his stomach, but there were too many people around for him to kiss Lance. “It’s surreal that you like me back.”
“Lance, it’s been months,” Keith laughed, poking his side. Lance chuckled and moved away.
“I know…. But ever since we…. You know. It’s just. Wow.” Keith felt himself blush further and he intertwined their fingers. They had gone the next step after 7 months of dating and learning each other’s nuances, and ever since it felt like they were both on cloud nine. The giggling, blushing honeymoon phase had resurfaced, something Pidge enjoyed teasing them about. “I really like being with you, Keith.”
“I like being with you too,” he murmured. “Now eat. Try this it tastes like chicken.” He pressed a piece of food to Lance’s lips and chuckled when Lance’s teeth lightly grazed his fingers. He hummed appreciatively and Keith continued to eat.
As he ate, he felt a sudden wave of dizziness, and his stomach churned. The food which had been so appetizing a few seconds ago suddenly smelled too strong, too greasy. Keith stood and scrambled away from alien eyes, finding some place dark before he leaned over and hurled.
“Keith?” he heard. Keith continued to throw up, everything he’d eaten coming back up in a disgusting swirl. “Corazon, what happened?”
Keith wiped his mouth and coughed. “I’m fine,” he groaned. “I think I ate too fast.”
“Are you okay to go back, or you want me to take you to the castle?” Keith shook his head and spit at the ground one more time. “Maybe you should rest. I’ll tell Allura-”
“No, I’m fine now. It’s okay. Come on let’s get back.” Lance frowned but didn’t argue, knowing how stubborn Keith was. For the rest of the party, Lance hovered around Keith enough to make sure he was okay, but far enough so Keith wouldn’t get annoyed.
No matter how much Keith assured him he’d just eaten too quickly, Lance refused to leave his side even when they were back in the castle. Keith wasn’t complaining, though. He loved sleeping beside him.
The next morning, Lance woke Keith up so he’d have a chance to eat breakfast. Keith was half asleep as Lance dragged him to the table and sat him down.
“Everything okay?” Shiro asked in confusion.
“Yeah. Keith got sick yesterday, and I’m trying to make sure he eats something,” Lance said, placing a bowl of food in front of him.
“You’re babying me. I’m fine, I told you,” Keith muttered. He ate slowly, and Lance took his hand under the table.
Halfway through his food, Keith felt that familiar lurch again. In a flash, he was up from the table and racing to the bathrooms. He hated throwing up. He hated how shaky and out of breath it made him feel.
When he was finally done, he leaned against the wall and took a breath, trying to ignore the disgusting aftertaste in his mouth. He heard footsteps and saw Lance lean down beside him, pushing his hair out of his face.
“I think you should go into the cryopod. Just to be sure you’re really okay.”
Keith shook his head and leaned into Lance’s hand. “It’s probably just a stomach bug.”
Lance took his chin and fixed him with a nervous, uncertain look. “Please? Just to ease my worry.” Keith groaned and nodded, too exhausted to protest. His stomach felt weak and sore after repetitive vomiting. “Can you stand?” Keith nodded again and, with Lance’s help, stood up.
He walked, leaning on Lance, suddenly wanting his bed.
When they got back to the table, the others were looking at them worriedly. “Can you get him into a cryopod? He got sick last night too.”
“Of course,” Allura said. She walked out, waving them along. “Is there anything else bothering you?” she asked, setting up the cryopod.
Keith shook his head. “No I just can’t keep food down. I’m sure it’ll go away in a few days, but you know Lance.” She smiled and shook her head, gesturing for him to get in.
He stood there for a few minutes, eyes closed as the pod whirred around him. Another indeterminable amount of time later, he was able to get out, feeling a little better and a little hungry.
Allura was staring at the screen with wide eyes, while Lance was messing with his jacket on the other side. As soon as Keith stepped out, Lance reached his side and checked his forehead. “Allura, can you calm him down and tell him I’m fine?” he said looking over at the princess.
She looked at him and then back at the screen. “Allura?” Lance asked.
“One moment,” she squeaked. She left and came back with Coran, both of them staring and analyzing the images on the screen. “I’m reading it right, aren’t I?” she asked.
“Y-yes. I didn’t know…. Oh dear.”
“What?” Lance asked, evidently getting more concerned.
Allura looked at Coran then over at Keith. “Well… it would seem…. You’re with child.”
Keith stared at her for a few seconds before laughing. “That’s funny. What’s really wrong? A virus?”
She frowned and turned the screen to him. He saw the heat image of himself and then, in a zoomed in image what looked like a round bag around a small bean shaped thing. Keith stared at the image in confusion, his breaths coming quicker. “Your body has morphed to be able to hold a child. I assume this isn’t something all humans can do,” she said softly.
Keith shook his head. “No. No, there’s no way. I’m a guy, I can’t…. Bodies don’t just morph, that thing has to be broken!”
“Perhaps we can run a few tests? I’m not sure if being part Galra has affected you, but even so it could help to do some studies,” Coran suggested.
“I can’t be….” Keith couldn’t even spit the word out. He was a male. He was nineteen. He was a soldier in a galactic war. He’d had sex one time. Keith looked over at Lance who was staring wide-eyed at the monitor. “Lance. Was there anything different about my body that night?” he asked in what he hoped was a calm voice.
Lance gulped and bit his lip. “I mean… yeah, but I didn’t want to freak you out and…. I didn’t think it would….” Keith felt his legs give way and he fell to the floor in a heap, hands yanking at his hair. “Keith!” His body wasn’t his body anymore.
His body was growing another body inside of it. Keith couldn’t breathe. He never wanted kids. He never thought he could have kids. And now, after one fucking time, he was….
“Nobody else needs to know about this,” he growled. “This stays between the four of us until we figure out what to do.” He stood, unable to look at any of them. “I’m going to sleep.”
He walked away and went to his room, luckily not running into any of the other paladins. God, how was he supposed to explain any of it? He didn’t understand himself.
Before he could crawl into his bed, his door slid open and Lance was inside. Keith had to reign in his anger. “Keith, look I know this is crazy and you’re freaked out and everything, but….” He looked terrified. “What did you mean when you said we had to figure out what to do?” Keith stared at him silently. “What, like get rid of the baby?”
“It’s not a baby. Not yet.”
Lance’s expression was heartbreaking. “No. No, you can’t do that, Keith.” He scowled and turned away, biting back insults and angry retorts. “Keith, I know this isn’t something anyone expected, but… that’s my baby too, you know?”
Keith turned on him, and shoved him against the wall. “That’s not supposed to be possible! You didn’t tell me that I’d changed when we had sex and maybe if you had we wouldn’t be in this situation. You don’t get to make this decision.”
Lance cupped his face and shut his eyes. “I’m sorry. I really am, but I didn’t think it mattered. I just wanted to make you feel good, I didn’t know it meant you could get pregnant.” Keith grimaced at the word. “But think about it, Keith. Just a little, for me. Don’t just get rid of it because you’re scared or angry. Because I’m here. I’m in this with you, and everyone else would be too. Just think about it, okay?”
“There’s nothing to think about, Lance. I’m nineteen.”
“My mom had me when she was seventeen.”
“We’re in space! We’re in the middle of a war!”
“Lots of babies are born during war. We’ll keep it safe.” Keith crossed his arms and glared at him. Lance sighed and kissed his forehead. “Sleep it off. I’ll see what I can make you that won’t trigger morning sickness.” Keith remained where he was as Lance left.
He didn’t understand how Lance was handling this so easily. How was this not freaking him out? Of course it wasn’t his body that was going to change. He wasn’t the one throwing up anything he ate, he wasn’t the one who would be dealing with the added weight of a mini parasite in his stomach.
Keith crawled into bed and shut his eyes, trying to sleep. But his mind was racing and his panic was only growing. Then all of a sudden the castle alarms were blaring and Keith was up before he could process it. He yanked on his armor, finding it hard to believe there was anything wrong with him when he looked the same as he had a few weeks ago. He clambered into the black lion and was greeted by the rest of the paladins as they flew out, prepared to defend the castle.
Galran ships were getting close but there weren’t that many. They might not even need to form Voltron. As the paladins prepared, a hit landed on the black lion, jostling Keith.
“Keith!” he heard Lance and Allura cry out. He scowled and ignored it, turning the lion to fire at a rogue ship.
“I’m fine,” he snapped. “Focus!”
“Ships at four o clock!” Pidge alerted.
“Um, guys? What’s that thing behind them?” Hunk asked.
“Another robeast?” Allura questioned. So maybe they would need Voltron.
“Keith, I don’t think this is safe-”
“Lance. Shut up. Let’s form Voltron and take down that robeast. Coran and Shiro can keep the particle barrier up long enough to protect the castle against the ships. Let’s go!” he commanded. Without any more protests, the lions came together to form Voltron and Keith called for the sword and shield.
As they hit the robeast and received a few firing shots from the ships, Keith felt his stomach lurch and he groaned. “Not now,” he hissed. He swallowed the nausea and continued to lead his team. The hits didn’t help, but at least Lance hadn’t tried to talk him into backing down.
When they were finally able to take down the robeast, the Galra ships backed down and Voltron returned to the castle ship. As soon as he was out of his lion, Keith was racing to the bathroom, but there was nothing in him left to throw up. “Damn parasite,” he muttered. He returned to the common room, and although the others were giving him worried glances, they didn’t say anything else.
He was grateful when Coran pulled him aside and took him into the lab to run some tests. As he extracted blood, Coran raised an eyebrow and asked, “Have you thought of keeping it?”
Keith felt a blush spread on his cheeks. “Lance wants me to. But there’s so much wrong about all of this. I never wanted kids.”
“Children are a big responsibility. I never had my own, but Allura has always been like my own daughter.” Keith nodded and winced as the needle was taken out.
“How do I even explain any of this to anyone? If we get back to earth and I find my father, or even Lance’s family? How do I explain to Shiro?”
Coran frowned and pressed a few buttons before looking at Keith. “Is that the only reason you don’t want this child? You’re afraid of what the others would say?”
“Of course not!” he snapped. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “There’s a million other things! My age, the war, the fact that there’s nothing here to take care of a kid, the fact that it’d be in danger all the time, and what if something happens to me or Lance, I don’t know how to-”
He buried his face in his hands, feeling short of breath and panicked. Coran put a hand on his shoulder and sighed. “You’d be a good parent. You’re already so worried. And that’s the thing about being a parent. Worrying never ends, and then you have to learn to let them grow into their own person.” Keith felt tears sting his eyes, but he wasn’t sure why he wanted to cry. “But you should know you would never be in it alone. Now, it’ll take a while before the results come in, so I suggest you find something to eat. Don’t stress too much. You have time to decide.” Keith looked up and nodded, standing and making his way to the kitchen.
He scavenged for something to eat before he found some sort of snack that looked like oatmeal and tasted like beef jerky. He ate them out of the box, taking a walk around the castle to try and clear his mind. Thankfully, it seemed to stay down.
He found himself back in the kitchen, and then he was eating some leftovers Hunk had saved. He had no idea how Hunk managed to make food taste so good with what he had to work with here. But he wasn’t complaining. That seemed to stay down too, so Keith felt a little better by the time he went to take a shower and hopefully a decent nap.
As he was falling asleep, he heard a knock at his door. “Come in,” he called. The door slid open and Lance walked in. He sat beside Keith and smiled timidly at him. “Hey,” he whispered.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
Keith shrugged. “Good. I ate, took a shower. No more throwing up.” Lance chuckled and ran his hand through Keith’s hair. Keith hummed and shut his eyes. “That feels nice,” he breathed. He felt warm, tingly. He wanted more of Lance.
“Are you still mad at me?” Keith opened his eyes and looked at Lance. “About not telling you. About… knocking you up. Wanting you to keep it?” Keith sighed and shook his head, pulling him down to lay beside him.
Before Lance could talk again, Keith kissed him, wanting nothing more than to feel him. He wanted to forget everything else and just be with Lance. He was aching for him, and every light touch felt like fireworks on his skin. Suddenly he was over him, grinding his hips down, and Lance’s moans only made his need greater. He sat up, straddling him, and took his shirt off. Lance pulled himself up onto his elbows, and before he could talk, Keith had his lips at his smooth, tanned neck.
“Wait, you want to…? Now?” Keith nodded, fingers reaching for Lance’s shirt to pull it off. “But… we don’t have any protection or-”
“Lance, I’m already knocked up, what’s the worst that can happen?” he muttered, kissing him again, tangling his hands in his hair. “Please,” he whispered. Lance’s grip tightened and he kissed back with fervor, unbuttoning Keith’s jeans, kissing down his chest in adoration.
It wasn’t long before Keith was a moaning, mewling mess beneath him. Somehow every feeling was magnified, making him feel so elated he could hardly stand it. And Lance was giving him everything he had in the sweetest, softest manner, kissing him wherever he could. Keith held onto him with all his might, trying to stifle his sounds until he’d reached his high and his body felt sticky and Lance was still going and my God it felt wonderful. Finally, Lance finished, thrusting into him a few more times, bodies slick with sweat and shaky breaths filling the room.
“Stay with me,” he whispered, running his hands through Lance’s hair. Lance nodded, kissing his neck lazily.
“I’m gonna clean you up, okay?” Keith nodded, barely aware of Lance moving before he slipped into a much needed slumber.
He wasn’t sure what time it was when he opened his eyes. He could hear Lance speaking in a soft voice, barely a whisper. He felt his hand caressing his stomach, but before Keith could snap at him for it, he processed the words.
“We’re all going to protect you and love you. You’re going to have two daddies, and we’re gonna love you so much. You’ll be the luckiest baby in the entire universe, trust me I would know. And if we get to go back home, I’ll take you and Daddy to Veradero beach, and I’ll teach you Spanish so we can talk about Daddy behind his back.” Keith furrowed his eyebrows, and rolled his eyes. “Your papito is gonna love you so much and I’m gonna be there for everything whenever you need me. I wonder if you’re a boy or a girl. Maybe we can choose a unisex name. It doesn’t matter though. We’ll teach you how to ride a bike, and your Aunt Pidge can teach you to mess with tech, and your uncle Hunk can teach you to cook, and Allura and Coran can teach you to speak Altean. I’ll teach you to pilot the lion too. And Daddy can teach you to fight.” Lance’s hand rested over Keith’s stomach. “Can you hear me?”
“I don’t think it has ears yet, Lance.” Lance jerked up and looked at Keith sheepishly. “How are you so okay with this?” he whispered.
Lance shrugged and repositioned himself to be beside Keith. “I don’t know. I’ve always wanted a family of my own. And yeah it’s kind of weird, but… we’ve been piloting giant robot lions and fighting aliens and eating green space goo. I’m kind of used to weird.” He pressed a kiss to Keith’s jaw. “I want you to be okay with it too.”
“That’s not something I can promise,” he sighed.
“Why?” It wasn’t an accusatory question. He seemed legitimately curious.
Keith kept his eyes on the ceiling and furrowed his eyebrows. “It took me a long time to learn how to be a friend. Longer to figure out how to be a boyfriend. What if I’m a horrible dad? What if I ruin the kid and… I don’t know. What if something happens to us and we leave it alone and it grows up like me?” Lance took his hand and kissed it gingerly. “This isn’t normal, Lance.”
“I don’t think anything about our lives is normal anymore, Corazon. But I have no doubt that you’d be a great dad. And if anything happens to us, I have family. The other paladins. I know that none of them would let anything happen to our baby.” Something about the way he said that broke Keith.
The tears he’d been fighting all day spilled over and Lance wrapped his arms around him, holding him tightly. Our baby.
***
It’d been about three months since Keith found out he was pregnant. Apparently some survival trait in Galran blood allows for males to be able to carry children when the population is dwindling. With Voltron getting rid of so many Galra, it must have been triggered in Keith as well.
He’d resorted to wearing hoodies and Lance’s jacket to cover the bump that grew on his stomach. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it for much longer, and the fact was making him more and more anxious. It was very disturbing to look down and see his own distended stomach, but Lance loved it. He spent every night in Keith’s room talking to his stomach until they were fast asleep. Coran and Allura had provided vitamins and check-ups to be sure the pregnancy wasn’t affecting Keith’s body in any other abnormal ways.
The morning sickness had stopped after two months, which Keith was grateful for. Still, his armor was beginning to feel uncomfortable, and even he was starting to worry about getting hit and hurting the baby growing inside of him. Lance kept trying to convince him to stay behind, but Keith knew he couldn’t without explaining why. And he wasn’t sure he could handle seeing Shiro’s expression.
Lance was cuddled up beside Keith, rubbing his stomach unconsciously. “You think the baby has ears yet?”
“I’m not sure,” he yawned. “I can ask Coran the next time I’m in the lab.”
Lance hummed and leaned down singing a Spanish lullaby. Keith smiled and shook his head, settling for running his fingers through Lance’s hair. Lance pulled himself up onto his elbows and looked at Keith. “When are you going to tell the others? I don’t want you fighting out there anymore. I could lose you both.” Keith groaned and covered his face with his arms. “Keith.”
“I know. I know, okay? I don’t know when, but I’ll… figure it out.” He took his hand and squeezed it. “Just go to sleep.”
The next morning, Keith was mumbling under his breath, annoyed that his jeans didn’t fit him anymore. Lance sat up in bed and smiled at him, but Keith only scowled. “Why are you mad at me?” he chuckled.
“Because this is your fault!” Keith tossed his jeans aside and sat on the floor. “This sucks.” Lance rolled his eyes and grabbed a pair of sweats that were his and handed them to Keith. “They’re going to be too long.”
“So I’ll roll them up for you. Unless you want to walk around the castle in your boxers.” Keith groaned and snatched the sweats from him, tugging them up. He pulled Lance’s sweater on over his shirt and zipped it halfway. “Here, sit.” Keith did and Lance leaned down to roll up the sweats. He smiled at Keith and then placed his hands on Keith’s stomach. “Your daddy’s a grouch, isn’t he? Hopefully you’ll be more like Papi and smile more.”
“I’m gonna kick you,” Keith muttered. Lance laughed and kissed his stomach before standing up and leaning in to kiss Keith. “At least I just look a little chubby. Alright, come on, I’m starving.” Lance followed him out of the room and to the table where the others were coming in to eat breakfast.
Without realizing it, Keith had scarfed down his food quicker than the others and was already reaching for seconds before the others had gotten halfway through their food.
“Well, someone’s growing,” Allura noted with a smile. Keith looked up from his plate and cleared his throat.
“Yeah, well, I’m done.” He stood up and walked to the kitchen to dump his bowl in the sink before walking back. As he returned he felt a hard, sudden thump in his stomach and he froze. Keith looked down at his stomach and waited before he felt another thump in the same spot. “Oh my God,” he whispered.
“Uh buddy, you okay?” Hunk asked.
“It kicked,” he breathed.
“What?” Lance asked, standing up, moving toward him. “You serious? Where?”
“Wait, what?” Pidge asked.
But Keith was grabbing Lance’s hands putting them on his stomach. “I swear, I felt it,” he insisted.
“Maybe it was just gas? I don’t feel any- oh my God. Oh my God, I felt that.” Keith laughed and winced as the kicking continued. “Hey, baby! Can you hear me? I love you, yes I do! Wow, you’re so strong!”
“It likes your voice,” Keith chuckled, feeling his eyes water. “He’s going nuts just with you talking.” Lance looked up at him and laughed, his blue eyes filled with their own tears. He cupped Keith’s face and kissed him deeply.
Suddenly it was real. It was tangible and physical and real. There was an actual baby in him, a baby that was his and Lance’s and it was crazy but it was real and Keith had no idea a person could feel so happy.
Then suddenly he was snapped into the real world. “Um, sorry, baby? What baby?” Pidge snapped. “What is going on?”
Keith gulped and looked at Lance worriedly. “Take the jacket off,” he whispered. Keith furrowed his eyebrows, freezing. Lance gingerly unzipped the jacket and pushed it off his shoulders. “It’s okay.” He looked at the others and cleared his throat. “So, we recently found out that Galra males can carry babies. Like seahorses, you know?”
Realization dawned on the other paladins and their eyes drifted to Keith and his slightly swollen belly.
“You’re pregnant?” Shiro yelped.
“With Lance’s baby?” Pidge added.
“It’s a boy?” Hunk gasped.
“Okay, Pidge, I’m taking that tone of voice as an insult,” Lance answered. “And yes, he is. Although… I don’t know what gender.”
Keith was looking down, fumbling with the jacket to put it back on and zip it up. “I don’t either. I just… it feels like it’s a boy, I don’t know.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “It came as a surprise to us too, okay?”
Shiro put a hand to his mouth and sighed. “And… you want this? Both of you?”
Keith shrugged. “I mean, I didn’t at first. I was freaking out. But…. I can’t explain it.” He placed his hands around his stomach, feeling protective and ashamed at once. “Look, if we knew this was possible we would’ve… been safe. But it happened, and that’s that.”
“But… how?” Pidge asked, leaning in and inspecting the slight bulge under his jacket. “In order to hold a child, you need a uterus, protective lining, a place for the baby to come out of. Preferably a very flexible place with good elasticity.” Keith paled and gulped. “I just… how?”
“We’re not really sure, but it’s part of his blood for his body to morph into one suitable for child bearing,” Allura said. “The protective layering is all there according to the scans.”
“And who’s going to be the midwife?” she pointed out. Everyone fell silent, and Keith felt himself beginning to withdraw into himself.
“Let’s take this one thing a time,” Hunk said. “Right now, we need a replacement for the head of Voltron because there’s no way you’re going to keep fighting, Keith.”
“Agreed,” Lance said. “Shiro can take that. He’s piloted the black lion before. Keith can stay behind and work with Coran.”
“Have you been getting vitamins? What about all the things babies need? A crib, bottles, diapers? We need to stop at the space mall,” Pidge mused. She stepped forward and held out her hand. “Can I?” Keith nodded, unzipped the jacket, and Pidge prodded gently at his hard stomach. Suddenly there was a slight kick and Pidge gasped. “Well hello there,” she giggled. “Was I intruding?”
“How far along are you, Keith?” Shiro asked.
Keith looked at him and shrugged. “Almost four months?”
“You hid this for four months?” Hunk cried. “What the heck, man?” Keith groaned, but Hunk was already moving on. “Have you guys thought of names? Oh I am going to be this kid’s favorite uncle.” Keith managed a smile.
Pidge and Hunk seemed completely fine with all of it, Allura and Coran had long since known and understood. Of course, Lance was ecstatic and already making birthday plans with Hunk. Shiro seemed to be the only one still holding reserves. And somehow, that one disapproval made the others’ excitement seem insignificant. He walked over to him and crossed his arms. “I’m sorry. I messed up-”
“You didn’t know,” he sighed.
“You’re still upset. You’re disappointed with me, I know that.”
“I’m scared for you. And Lance,” he corrected. “You’re just kids. And we already have so much happening with Voltron. What happens when you go into labor? What if we’re out on a mission? We have no provisions here for a baby. I just don’t want this to ruin your life.”
Keith felt his throat constrict, and he clenched his teeth. “What like I did for my parents? Being left to fend for myself? I can promise that much, Shiro, I’m not going to be like them. I’m going to be there for this kid, and so is Lance. I can tell just with how he talks to him, how excited he is.”
“He’s excited for the fun things. Teaching the kid to curse in Spanish, to make silly faces at it and make it laugh. What about when the baby gets a fever and doesn’t stop crying all night? Or when it starts teething and hits its terrible twos stage?” Keith scowled and shook his head. Shiro reached forward to place his hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Look, I’m just worried-”
“Yeah, okay,” he muttered, pulling away. He returned to the others, trying to let their excitement override the hurt he was feeling. He wished he could still train. It was always a good way to let go of his stress and worries. Now, he was stuck in this half-fragile state left to stew with emotions.
“We should plan a baby shower!” Pidge cried. “We can make it neutral colors, you know, like yellow and green. Or we can make it Voltron colors!”
“With tiny little lion cookies!” Hunk added.
Lance wrapped his arm around Keith and nuzzled into him. “See? Nothing to worry about.” Keith hummed and tried not to look at Shiro.
Three more months went by and Keith’s stomach continued to grow. Lance spent the nights singing or telling the baby stories until he’d talked himself to sleep. And every morning, the second Lance pressed a kiss to Keith’s swollen belly, the kicking would start. And it continued until Keith was able to sit and eat breakfast.
And after dinner, Pidge and Hunk would take turns talking to the belly, insisting that the baby understood. Keith simply fell asleep on the couch while they talked and made up songs. Shiro was still apprehensive, but he’d stopped being so obvious about. He’d even asked to feel the baby’s kicks once. Of course, it took some coaxing from Lance before it moved.
Each time the team had to go on a mission, Keith felt nervous and afraid and it seemed harder and harder to let Lance go each time. It seemed his stress reached the baby too because it would stop moving and wouldn’t kick again until Lance had returned and cooed, “Where’s Papi’s baby? Where is my little sharpshooter?” Keith had to bite back yelps of pain when that happened because the baby seemed so excited at the sound of Lance’s voice that its kicks were stronger than any other time. And they wouldn’t stop until Lance’s hands were on his stomach and he’d kissed his stomach before kissing Keith.
“I fucking hate you,” he groaned once when the team had come back and Lance had finally gotten the kid to calm down. “He always does that when you get back.”
“Don’t say things like that, I don’t want the baby learning your foul language.”
Keith hummed and looked at him accusingly. “Oh and I assume you haven’t been saying any Spanish curse words to my stomach?” Lance scoffed, but his cheeks reddened and he turned his attention back to Keith’s swollen stomach.
“How are your feet?”
“They’re fine. I’m not letting you massage my feet, I told you. I don’t like people touching my feet.” Lance rolled his eyes and kissed his cheek before leaving to change out of his armor. Keith looked at his stomach and hummed as he rubbed it. “I know most people name their sons after their dads, but I don’t think you’d want either of our names. I wonder what name you would like.”
“Keith!” he turned and saw Hunk walking towards him. “I’m experimenting in the kitchen, want to join?” Keith nodded and followed him. “Have you decided what you want to eat for the baby shower?”
“I’ve been craving a pizza, if I’m honest. Besides it’s just us, so it doesn’t have to be too big.”
“Well, this might be the only baby shower we get while we’re here, so…. It’s exciting.” Keith hummed and took a sample that Hunk handed him of some type of batter. “You scared?”
“Yep,” he answered, popping the p. “I’m a guy, dude. And I’m supposed to… give birth?”
“If it helps, we’re all here for you, buddy. Here, try this.” He handed something fried over to Keith and he didn’t even wait for it to cool down before he was scarfing it down. “Eating for two must be fun.” Keith rolled his eyes.
He felt an arm wrap around him before Lance sat beside him and kissed his cheek. “You’re glowing, you know that?”
Keith looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. “What do you want?” Lance stuck his tongue out and nudged him with his nose.
“Actually, Allura and Coran needed you to figure out how… the going into labor is going to go.” Keith shuddered and groaned. “Come on, it’s better to figure it out now. You’re going to be due in like two months, maybe a little less.”
“Please don’t remind me,” he muttered. He stood and walked away, taking one more piece of fried food before going to the lab. “I was told I was needed,” he announced, tugging the jacket over his stomach.
Allura waved him over and showed him the screen she was working on. Keith grimaced and looked away, but eventually found his way back. “Now, I’m not sure who you trust most to help you through this, but this is how we modeled the process for helping you. We have some sedatives and morphine to help with any pain.” Keith grimaced and nodded. “You don’t seem excited.”
“I’m not. This is terrifying.” Allura placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a smile. “I can barely sleep. He’s heavy.”
“He’s growing quickly,” she agreed. “But I’m sure it’ll be worth it. Have you thought of names?” Keith shook his head. “Why don’t we go to the Space Mall to shop a bit for the baby?” Keith hesitated and tried to figure out a way to keep from going to such a public place. “You’re embarrassed.”
“Um, yeah,” he admitted.
She smiled and shook her head. “I’ll see if Pidge wants to go with me. I think if I bring Lance we’ll bring back the entire mall.”
“You’re not wrong,” he agreed. “Um, and thank you for all of this…. It’s awkward, but I really appreciate it all.” She smiled and nodded. “I think I’m going to take a nap. Thank you, again.” He turned away and started for his room with a yawn.
As he settled into bed, he groaned at the weight and the small kick that he felt. “What? Look, kiddo, you gotta let me sleep. You already make me pee every ten minutes.” Another slight kick. “Alright, what’s that song your dad likes to sing to you. I don’t speak Spanish, so it probably won’t be great, but I’ll try.” Another kick. Keith chuckled and closed his eyes, softly singing what he remembered of that song Lance always sang. The kicking stopped, and before he knew it, Keith was asleep.
The next thing he knew, Lance was shaking him awake. “Babe. Come on, you’re gonna miss dinner. You’ve been asleep for a while.” Keith yawned and sat up, rubbing his stomach. “Hunk made some really good food.”
“I’m coming,” he grumbled. “I’m still waking up. Your kid finally let me sleep.”
Lance smiled and helped him up. “Our kid. Isn’t that right, baby boy? Or girl. Your dad swears you’re a boy.”
“I’m thinking he’s a Leo. It means lion, so it fits.” Lance raised an eyebrow and hummed.
“I like it.” Keith smiled and followed Lance out of the room.
He sniffed the air when the familiar scent of marinara reached him. He reached the table with Lance and gasped when he saw the food on the table. Pizza and cakes and French fries and fried other things. There were streamers and balloons and boxes of gifts. The Alteans and the paladins were all waiting with large smiles.
“It’s your baby shower!” Pidge shouted. “Come on, sit down!”
“You actually made pizza?” Keith marveled. “Wow.” He sat down and grabbed as much food as would fit onto his plate. His friends sat around him and started eating, talking excitedly. “This is great you guys. I like the Voltron theme.” Pidge and Hunk high-fived.
“Just wait till you open the gifts,” Hunk said.
“How did you guys even find time for all of this?”
“Well, you’re a heavy sleeper,” Allura said with a smile.
Lance stayed beside him, holding one hand as he ate. Eventually, they were able to move on to cake and presents. Keith opened his presents and couldn’t help but laugh at the alien themed baby clothes and toys the paladins had gotten him.
By the end of the night, he was full and happy and even a little excited. As he slipped into his PJs and settled in beside Lance, he smiled and sighed as he looked up at the ceiling. “You know little guy,” he whispered, “You’ve got the most loving family in the universe.” Lance chuckled and threw his arm around Keith’s middle before humming.
“Yeah. He does.”
***
“Be careful,” Keith growled, cupping Lance’s face. He pulled him into a kiss, feeling anxious and wishing he could lock him in his room to keep him safe. Lance’s hands rested on his stomach and he smiled into the kiss.
“It’s getting harder to kiss you every day. I feel like I’m hurting him if I come too close.”
Keith shook his head. “He loves having you close. Just like me. Which is why you need to come back.”
“I will,” he promised. “And then I’ll pamper you until all that stress goes away. You know stress isn’t good for the baby.”
“Guys, we need to go,” Shiro said, putting a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “It’ll be fine, Keith.”
Keith grunted and nodded, taking a deep breath. It would all be fine. He nodded and nudged Lance toward the lions, hoping Red knew to keep him safe. He watched the paladins get into their lions and watched them dart into space.
He returned to the control room where Coran was managing the navigation. “Don’t worry, they’ll be back before you know it. They’ve got the upper hand.”
“I know,” he sighed. “Do you really think a surprise attack will work though?”
“Pidge’s lion has the cloaking device. She’ll be able to hack the alarm system and they’ll get in without a hitch. I’ll make sure of it.” Keith nodded and started pacing, trying to keep his back straight. “Is he heavy?”
“There’s a weight of a separate human hanging off my stomach. Yeah, he’s heavy.” Keith sighed and plopped down on a chair. “I hate when they leave. I can’t help but panic.”
“Why don’t you go to bed?”
Keith groaned. “I don’t know, I feel like I need to be productive. I think I’m going to clean up a bit.” He pulled himself up and left, hoping to busy himself.
He’d rearranged the common room about five times before he felt exhausted and decided to take Coran’s advice and going to bed. He got into bed and rubbed his stomach. He wasn’t moving, but at moments like this, he wished he would. Just to reassure him Lance was okay.
“It’s okay, buddy. Your dad will be home soon.” Keith tried to ignore his worries. If he fell asleep, then maybe Lance would be back in time to wake him up. After eight months of growing a human inside him, Keith felt a little less insecure about his swollen stomach and… well really the whole idea in general.
He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep when he woke up with pain in his stomach. He groaned and held his stomach wondering if something was wrong. Was something wrong with Lance? Could a baby feel that?
The pain ebbed and Keith sighed, leaning his head further into the pillow. He tried to hold back the bile that was rising in his throat and hold on to the hope that everything was fine. Before he could calm down, he felt another cramping pain in his stomach, this time a little stronger. Keith grimaced and curled into himself, breathing heavily.
Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. He scrambled out of bed and tried to ignore the pain until it disappeared again as he walked. “Coran?” he called. “Coran I need an update!” He felt sore and tired, but panicked all at once.
Before he made it into the control room, he felt another wave of pain, this time spreading to his back. He gasped and let himself slide slowly to the ground. “Coran!” he shouted, through gritted teeth.
“What in the-?” He saw Coran rush out of the control room, eyes widening at the sight of Keith on the ground. “What happened? Are you alright?”
“What’s happening with Voltron? Something’s wrong, he can feel it.”
“No, no everything’s fine. The team had to fall back, but they’re fine. They’re on the way back.” He leaned down to grab Keith who was trying to enjoy the few minutes of peace he had before another cramping pain debilitated him. “What is it, what are you feeling?”
“Right now? Nothing,” he breathed. “I woke up with pain, I thought something had happened to- oh! Ow!” He gripped Coran’s hand and grit his teeth, screwing his eyes shut.
“Well, my boy, it seems that you’re going into labor,” Coran said.
“What? No, it’s not time yet. Lance isn’t here, Allura’s not- Oh my God, this hurts!”
“Breathe,” Coran instructed. “I’ll alert the others and get you to the lab.” Keith barely managed a nod before he returned to the control room.
Keith held his stomach and grimaced. “Guess you’re like me, huh? Impatient.” He received another burst of pain as a reply. Keith tried to steady his breathing. He’d felt pain before. He lived with it. Through Voltron, through the Blade, through the Galra. He could handle this.
Coran returned and helped him up, patiently taking him to the lab. “It’s alright. They’ll be here as soon as possible.” He laid him down on a table and connected a few wires to him before leaving to check his screens. He returned with a needle and Keith flinched. “This should help with the pain. I need you to sit up.” Keith pulled himself up, ignoring the uncomfortable pain spreading to his legs. “Stay still.” Keith bit back a yelp when he felt a needle dig into his back. “Lay back. It’ll be okay, just breathe.” Keith nodded and leaned back, feeling the pillows Coran must have put.
Keith was too frantic, too afraid to feel embarrassed when Coran had to strip him of his jeans and check him. Keith never knew what the hell was down there, he didn’t want to. He just hoped this would be easier than he expected because he was terrified. He felt a strange sort of prickling spreading around his middle as though his body was falling asleep. But instead of going completely numb, he just felt a slight decrease of pain. Like he was disconnected.
“You are going to have to start pushing now, if you don’t want complications,” Coran urged.
“But Lance isn’t here,” he gasped.
“This baby isn’t waiting,” he answered. “It’ll be alright, I promise. But your water just broke, and that can hurt the baby if we wait too long.”
Keith groaned and nodded, letting his head hit the pillows as he took a deep breath. He sat up and tried to focus on Coran’s guidance to help him stay grounded. He could feel the sweat tricking down his neck, the hair sticking to his face. He could feel his heart pounding all over his body.
“I can see the head. Just get the head and shoulders out and you’re fine.” Keith only grunted in response. “Keep a rhythm, it’s alright. Just breathe.”
“I’m trying!” he growled. Suddenly he heard more footsteps and he was vaguely aware of Allura with her pink armor, and Lance beside him still wearing his. “You did this to me, you jackass,” he scowled barely managing to hit Lance in the chest.
But Lance only smiled and took his hand, kissing it. “It’s okay, you’re doing great, Corazon. Keep going.” Keith grumbled and kept pushing, now with Allura’s help as she wiped his forehead and helped him sit up.
“I hate you,” he muttered through gasps, glaring at Lance.
Lance chuckled and pressed his forehead against Keith’s. “I love you.” He kissed him and pushed his hair away. Suddenly, they heard a sharp cry and Keith looked up, panicking.
“It’s okay!” Coran assured. “Head’s out. Keep going, we need the shoulders.” Keith gripped onto Lance hand, squeezing so hard he must have been hurting him. But Lance was smart enough not to complain. “A little more,” Coran prodded. Keith nodded and continued, driven more by the cries of the baby he couldn’t see. “One more final push.”
“Lance,” Allura said, handing him scissors. Keith heard a snip. “It’s a girl, boys.” Keith furrowed his eyebrows and leaned back onto the pillows, too exhausted to stay up. Allura managed to wrap her in a thin cloth and quickly handed her over to Keith. “Congratulations.”
Keith held her, afraid to hurt her. She was so small. “She has ears,” he noted with a strike of fear. As he looked at the baby, he couldn’t help but notice the angled, pointed ears covered in tufts of wet, purple fur. Galra ears.
“She must have inherited more Galra traits since it was your Galra side that helped her develop,” Allura suggested. “But it’s the only Galra trait she has.”
“She’s so pretty,” Lance cooed. “Hi, princess. Do you know who I am?” The baby squirmed and placed her tiny wrinkled hand against her cheek. “I’m your daddy. Well, one of them.”
“What should we name her?” Keith asked. “I was so sure it was a boy. I never thought of girl names.”
Lance reached out and touched her tiny ears. “What about Violet?”
“Violet,” Keith repeated. She cooed and stretched her hand. “I love you so much, Violet.”
Allura smiled and stepped forward. “Do you mind if I clean Violet up for you? I’ll bring her right back.” Keith nodded and Allura took the baby gently. She didn’t go far, but Keith still couldn’t look away.
Beside him, Lance was kissing his forehead and his cheek. “You did so good, baby.” Keith smiled and leaned against him. Coran helped him lay down after cleaning up and draped him in blankets. “Here she comes.”
Keith looked over and took Violet in his arms. “Oh, look at her,” Keith mused. “She has your hair, Lance.”
“Thank God for that,” he joked. Keith glared at him, but Lance just smiled. “She’s so small. Here, she might be hungry,” Lance whispered, handing Keith a bottle with a mix that Pidge and Hunk had managed to create to give the vitamins milk on Earth gave babies. Keith hesitantly place the bottle to her lips and chuckled when her tiny mouth searched for the source. Her eyes opened briefly and Lance gasped. “She has your eyes.”
Keith held her and marveled at her as she fed. Her delicate, rosy skin, her dark, curled lashes, the curly locks of brown hair in tufts on her head. She was so fragile. So small. And it was up to him to protect her. Keith felt new wave of strength overcome him. This tiny thing, this tiny human had actually been in him. She had kicked him and made him sick and made him sleepy and now she was here. He was holding her.
After she had been fed, Lance offered to burp her. “You look like you need a nap. Don’t worry, I’ll be right here. When you wake up, everyone else can meet her.” Keith nodded and shut his eyes, slowly succumbing to sleep.
He woke up when his hunger was too much to ignore. Lance was sitting in a chair beside him, singing to Violet as he rocked her back and forth in his arms. “Lance?”
He looked up and smiled, standing carefully. “Look who’s awake, Violet. It’s Daddy. Want to hold her?” Keith nodded and Lance passed her over. “God, I never get tired of looking at her.” Keith smiled and kissed her forehead gently. Her hand wrapped around one of his fingers and Keith wondered how this level of love was possible. Suddenly his stomach growled and Lance chuckled. “Hungry?” He nodded. “I’ll be right back. I’ll bring everyone else too, okay?”
Keith nodded and watched Lance leave. He returned his gaze to Violet who was fast asleep. Her nails were smaller than grains of rice. Her face so round and chubby. Her ears were so adorably furry. Suddenly the door opened and the rest of the paladins came in. Everyone gathered around Keith, anxious to see the new addition to their space family.
“Oh my God,” Pidge cooed. “She’s adorable!”
“I can’t believe you two made that,” Hunk whispered. “She’s so small. I could fit her in one hand.”
Keith chuckled. “Can we hold her?” Shiro asked. Keith nodded a bit hesitantly and handed her to him. “What’s her name?”
“Violet,” Lance answered. “Here. Eat up.” He set a bowl of soup in front of Keith and sat beside him. “Coran said you could be up by tomorrow. He said you’re healing quickly.”
“Thank God,” he sighed, eating his soup. The others were still fussing over Violet and Keith leaned into Lance. “I feel weird with a small stomach again.” Lance chuckled and kissed him. “I love you,” he breathed.
***
It had been one week since Violet was born. Keith was better, and was already returning to the training room for an hour a day. Everyone loved Violet and she was hardly ever put down for longer than five minutes. She spent most of the time sleeping, but when she was awake, her eyes were wide and purple and bright.
Lance and Keith were in the lab while Violet got a checkup. Coran was singing an old Altean song to her while he checked her. Lance nudged Keith and gestured. “Tell him.”
Keith smirked and stepped forward. “So how is she?”
“She’s perfectly healthy,” he answered. “I gave her medicine so she won’t get sick anytime soon. She’s strong too.”
“That’s good,” he nodded. “Well, Coran, Lance and I were wondering if… you’d like to be her godfather?”
“What’s that?” Coran asked.
Lance jumped in, barely containing his excitement. “It’s like a second parent. If anything were to happen to us, you’d be the one that takes her in. Someone who’ll help raise her.”
“It’s just, Lance has gotten so close with you, and you’re the only parental figure any of us have here. And you did help me deliver her.” Keith looked at Coran who seemed frozen and in shock.
“Coran?” Lance questioned nervously. A sudden sob escaped Coran and he smiled at them, his moustache trembling with his lip. “Are you okay?”
“Of course I am!” he cried. “I just��� I had no idea…. I would be honored.” They smiled and Coran lifted Violet from her bin and hugged her as tightly as he could without hurting her. “Thank you boys,” he whispered.
There was no doubt in Keith’s mind that his daughter truly was the most loved baby in the entire universe.
Click Here for Part 2
#mpreg#keith#lance#what am i doing#otp#klance#laith#voltron#i havent written in forever and this is the first thing i manage???
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the biggest problem i had with the dragon prince is sokka’s voice for callum and the irish accent for rayla. i just cannot take it seriously
warming to her accent, but callum’s voice is just - arghghghghg
also though the king is super cool, the way he tells the story, the humans were just super shit.
ok that heart to heart was better
the fuckin naruto run lol
finding it more palatable now i know viren’s not an actually evil dude, just using dark magic is all
but episode two has got wayyy better pacing
Claudia turns out to be hella powerful and i love that
lol wtf. that line just launched millions of harrow/viren ships
(if the egg wasn’t destroyed why didn’t viren TELL harrow. viren is a shitty friend alright. edit: im thinking, was it claudia?? but she would have been too young. edit edit: viren IS a power-hungry dude, but WHY? what the hell does he want)
how did Rayla INSTANTLY decide to align herself with callum and ezran against renaan??? when he refused to back down. she seems thrilled at fighting him! what the fuck!
the scene-changing feels super unpolished tbh. it’s very realistic - and therefore not super conducive to smooth storytelling. callum goes to see the king like three times in a row. it’s like using the same word over and over in a piece of writing
gotten used to callum’s voice
all callum does at the top of the tower is fail to talk with his dad, lose his voice to viren, get it back, be convinced viren is a villain, get no response to calling his dad, dad, abandon his dad for no reason i can really see.
the plans all fail. viren lashes out and thinks callum is a shitty commoner (lol)
i dont really fuckin understand how from this mess, callum concluded that neither harrow nor renaan would want to return the egg. so little trust in harrow. and yeah, renaan wants to kill harrow, but then rayla goes against him for no real reason - to... distract him from killing harrow - which she shouldn’t particularly care about So Much (if she’s thinking about a feud, then have her reference Callum’s point) and which isn’t worth sacrificing her life for, and which won’t stop him in the long run, and even if she did, she’s willing to go back to protect him AGAIN for ....callum? i don’t get it
like, just go up there with the egg, show it to them elves, show it to harrow. ?
tonally this is fucking weird because they’re like, team-bonding about having a quest now while up in the tower right NOW all their adults are fighting each other to the death lol
ezran has gone from annoying to adorable though
SO ALL THESE GUARDS ARE DEAD!!! AND ALL THE MOONSHADOW ELVES ARE DEAD!!! (i guess?? they weren’t as invincible as they fucking said?? wtf??)
oh right Harrow, IS dead. but not really because clearly and obviously Viren did something.
hoping: that this mess resolves itself in the next episodes as the adopt a travel format.
i can’t tell exactly what makes the narrative so messy. but it feels extremely messy. i need to think about it. i think it’s because it seems super counter intuitive how all these kids are responding to the circumstances
i know they’re trying to be nuanced and create ambiguities. but i don’t know how to feel about it
they still had guards left? to carry the coffin? lol
not sure why mourning the king has to be cut short because of war. like what are they gonna do, the guards dead, apparently zero nobles in this ‘kingdom’, the princes both LOST LOL
and claudia and the brother are both completely unaffected by Harrow’s death. they’re like: damn so tired ugh im gonna have a sip of coffee in this highly sad procession. they don’t give a FUCK. oh callum and ezran are dead ? these kids shrug - i was kinda friends with em but whatever
jfc
lol CLASSIC villain, im gonna usurp the throne now Viren. what the fuck is up with him. one moment he’s like, gotta save YOU! the next he’s like, gonna get me some power
i just canNOT get a read on these characters. i know they’re like supposed to be 15 or something. but can’t tell if callum is responsible or reckless. and rayla seems like such a SUCKER one moment, and the next she’s all chagrined, one moment tormented, the next, thrilled at betraying her people.
also i CANNOT deal with the sense of humour in this. like lets spend time on recounting a stupid dream? WHO CARES. rayla comes in, oh i was so taken with your insecurity lets risk EVERYTHING. i mean??? what a LOSER. why would she give in??
‘no more detours alright?’ THEY ARE GOING ON THE FIRST DETOUR EVER AND SHE’S OKAYED IT
this winter lodge is like, a tiny house. this king is not very rich. it’s an early king?
there are NO servants in the whole damn castle OR in the winter lodge. just soldiers, always soldiers. it’s just ridiculous. it’s frozen all over again - ROYALTY IS SUPPORTED BY A HUGE UNDERCLASS THAT DOES THE DAY TO DAY STUFF OF LIVING. (apart from it ruining realistic worldbuilding, it also feels like it just forgets about/erases the truth of everyday life, of peace, and of the unprivileged classes)
‘it won’t work, humans and elves don’t trust each other’ - uhhh ok, but why is Callum so sure of this. he has no experience
why has rayla just been ducking around the rafters and running around the roof. could just have chilled out. i appreciate that they wanna show off her cool parkour but it’s been already three times that they play her running around like a very quick ninja as ‘cool! oh wow! stakes!’
SO AMAYA JUST FUCKIN WRECKS RAYLA. i hate how literally every fight in this makes me think: great, now these two idiots are fighting each other for no real reason
OMG ELVES HAVE ONLY FOUR FINGERS?? ok thats a very cool little thing
i know this is like super on the nose storytelling like - hey actually FIGHT racist stereotypes, using them doesn’t fuckin work
but it’s so grating
lol - nobody saw the hostage bullshit comign? nobody is like, hmmmm these boys are going along with this girl suprisingly voluntarily
yeah so harrow’s spirit is definitely in a bird now. did nobody notice that just before Harrow died, he flailed about like a bird?
i can’t keep going
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