#but if I have to have to deal with the existence of the phrase 'meat doll' so do all of you

[yeoldenews]

(source: The Sheboygan Press, December 8, 1909.)

[darkshadows93]

Susan--- The Real Overlord of Cannibal Town

Ah, Susan. Everyone's most favorite hated person within the peaceful confines of Cannibal Town. A woman of... character, one would politely say. Having no filter at all. Susan carries the ability to heckle powerful Overlords, bringing them damn near their knees in frustration and telling them to go suck a duck without blinking. Susan can do it all.

How can she get away with heckling the likes of The Radio Demon? How was it that she hadn't been torn apart or consumed? How is it that Rosie is so complicit, only struggling to say polite words about the Hag? I tell you, why. I believe she is the true Overlord of Cannibal Town.

Now, this is only a personal headcanon of mine. We all know that Susan is the Hell's version of a Karen. We all know that she isn't liked, especially by Alastor (as seen in the Pilot when dressed Vaggie up in her outfit during his reprise).

That fact right there means that Alastor has been putting up with Susan's shit for a long time--- meaning that Rosie has been putting up with Susan's shit for even longer. She heckles everyone. She makes everyone uncomfortable and steps away from her. She may not have the deals or the magic that most Overlords. She has what Rosie has... she has pizazz and moxie. A charismatic cannibal who relies on her words than power. It is something that Rosie admires in a person, and perhaps it's the same from Susan. If Susan was the real Overlord of Cannibal, she would have chosen Rosie to represent her as a younger version of her self.

Overlord Mug: I would picture this mug having the phrase "Get Off My Lawn". A simple phrase from the older generations---until she is around Alastor and will reveal an image of a dead black and red deer with "Not Relevant" sign pointing at the deer at the bottom. A constant dig to Alastor.

Alastor: We don't know the history between these two. But we know it involves heckling and respect. Alastor can't seem or be allowed to harm Susan when he has had his fill. I can see Alastor being cocky and trying to prove why he's powerful and stuff, but it all took one look and her to say : "Yeah, when did anyone take a deer seriously, Bambi?" and it kicked off a feud of wits between the two. As seen in Episode 7, right at the start of "Ready For This," the original microphone is missing. As Alastor did not follow Rosie and Charlie off the stage, it is only assumed that Susan is the means she is, and Alastor threw it at her but couldn't get hurt.

The Battle at the Hotel: We know that Susan was there. We don't know if she survived, but as Alastor called her: "Ornery Old Bitch" it's safe to say that she is too stubborn to die and survived the attack. She thrives on being able to state her opinions. Like a Karen that won't give up over her incorrect order, Susan refused to die until she was ready to die--- which, unfortunately to Alastor, was never. She was one of the first survivors to emerge from the rubble. She was the first to bitch about the lack of fresh meat and demanded that someone find her an angel to feast on. But most of all, she was the first person that Alastor saw after he left his Radio Tower after getting his ass handed to him and to give him shit. Alastor could have easily snapped and ended her. But he can't. For some unholy reason, he can't end her right there and just stands as she is heckling him, ""Boooooo! Look at the great Radio Demon slithering out of the rubble like the baby he is!" or even a good line of ""Awww, Is the Big Baby sad that he got his butt kicked by an Angel?"

As we learn in our lives, Karens and Susans exist, and they are an undying breed. Like roaches, you can kill one, and another will take its place. Rosie and Alastor only deal with Susan, knowing that if they got rid of her--- she would always come back to bite them in the ass. That alone, is more powerful than any other power that an Overlord of Hell could have.

[oldsalempost-blog]

The Old Salem Post

Contact: theoldsalempost@gmail.com                              Distributed to local businesses, town hall, library.                            Volume 7 Issue 34                                                                                                  Week of August 12,  2024                https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/oldsalempost-blog                                                         Lynne Martin Publishing EDITOR:   Support local has become a big deal.  What we think is a new and cool idea has actually existed forever on the farm.  Some have to recreate it, but fortunately I got to live it.  In my life around here families have enjoyed “farm to table” every meal starting from breakfast to supper.  Summer was for berry picking, gardening and canning.  As children we had to string many green beans, crack pecans, gather eggs, shuck corn, cut corn stalks for our cows, and load wood for our heater. We had our own meat source of chicken, cows, and pigs grown right at home.  My brother went squirrel hunting and often caught rabbits in a “rabbit gum” to sell.  My grandmother traded dozens of eggs in exchange for something she needed.  Families and friends gathered for weddings and barn dances. Today, people pay a lot of money to visit and recreate the special effects of a farm, when we have had it all along. Support local: buy from a farmer and be more involved in this wonderful place of community. LRMartin                                                                        

TOWN of SALEM: 5 Park Avenue  Monday-Friday 8AM-5PM. Closed 12-1 for lunch.  * Visit the Downtown Market every Sat, 8am-12pm.  There will be a community cookout in partnership with the Oconee Sheriff’s office and the Town at the Salem Community Center Sept 17th at 4PM.  FREE Hamburger or hot dog plates will begin at 4PM.  A new neighborhood watch which is part of  Mission Oconee, sponsored by a Isaiah  40:31 foundation will be discussed.   Save the date for the Last Season Car Show October 12th at 5PM.   864-944-2819                                                                                                                      Jottings from Miz Jeannie  by Jeannie Barnwell     Dog Training Tips                                                   I  have plunked down several hundred dollars to perfect the behavior of my young, obstreperous Collie puppy.  I feel the need to share these tips! First of all, the trainers stress that all interactions should be positive.  Hence, I have been encouraged to wear a fetching little over the shoulder purse so that I can easily distribute treats for good behavior.  "Charlie Bear" is a new treat on the market. These treats are all protein and make a hearty crunch sound in the pet's month.  "No! Stop that! Down Boy! and Mama will Spank!" are  phrases forbidden to a puppy owner.  For instance, train YOUR NEIGHBORS in advance.  If Rover is prone to jump on people, YOU must train your neighbors to simply turn away from the jumper.  In particular, train your neighbors NOT to scold the dog.   According to my trainer, when a person shouts and scolds the jumper, the jumper considers this to be positive reinforcement, rather than a reprimand.  My neighbor is not anxious to hold her tongue when Rover's muddy paw prints have smudged her church clothes!  At this juncture, both myself and the jumper have been severely chastised!  At least, I am trying to train my dog, and I will take responsibility for her actions.  Have a good week!  Eat fresh fruit and veggies while we have them.  Remember to share the bounty with neighbors!  Miz Jeannie

SONY 107.9 WFBS-  THANKS to all who helped meet the  $1500  goal for the new antenna and upgrades!

ASHTON RECALLS by Ashton Hester   FISHING LAKE OPENS NEAR SALEM - (The following story was in the June 9, 1954 issue of the Keowee Courier). . .Homer Towe has opened a new fishing lake in the Salem area, and early fishermen who have already tried their luck report nice catches of blue cats. . .Mr. Towe's lake is located several miles from Salem and approximately one mile west of the Mountain View Welcome Wesleyan church. . .A concession stand is also located at the site to provide refreshments for the fishermen. . .This is the second lake Mr. Towe has created on his property. Several years ago he created a smaller one for his own personal use.

JOCASSEE VALLEY BREWING COMPANY,(JVBC) & COFFEE SHOP* 13412 N Hwy 11 Opening on Tuesdays 12pm-7pm during the summer season. Wed–Sat 9am-9pm and Sunday 12pm-7pm.                                    Events this week: Wed:  FOOD TRUCK: BLUE RIDGE GRILL  4PM  Thursday: Food Truck:  BLUE RIDGE GRILL 4PM  TRAIL TALK  6PM  Fri: Music: CASSIDY BRIDGE 6:30PM   Food:  BLUE RIDGE GRILL    Sat–  Food: LOBSTER DOGS  Music:  ANGELA EASTERLING at 6:30PM   Sun: 12pm-7pm Food: BLUE RIDGE GRILL  1PM  Music:  Singer-Songwriter Showcase hosted by Rick Malec  4PM.    

.ONGOING FRESH LOCAL FOOD **

The Clemson Area Food Exchange has been selling produce and table items from the farm in Pickens, Anderson and Oconee counties for the last 15 years.  SALEM is on the drop off on Tuesday 4:30pm -6pm, hosted by  Sisters Restaurant on the porch, 281Stamp Creek Rd. Order between Friday pm- Monday noon. First two orders complimentary, then $ 20/ year per household. Order on line at Clemsonareafoodexchange.com                                                                    PICKET POST PRODUCE located on 5787 N Highway 11: Farm fresh milk, eggs, produce, honey, jams, etc   

EAGLES NEST ART CENTER.

2024 UPCOMING EVENTS     Treasure Store open every Sat morning 9AM-12PM.  For donations  call 864-557-2462.   

August 24th, 7PM  Make Reservations for Dinner and a Show with Luke Riley Smith– Enjoy  the tunes of the Big Band Era, Swing and more! Fried Chicken, 2 sides, roll, dessert, tea or coffee. Tickets $25 Call 864-280-1258. Tickets for sale and available also at the Town of Salem. 

YOUNG APPALACHIAN MUSICIANS– Sign up for YAMs for an evening class each week on Tuesdays at 5:30PM. Cost is $50 each month.  3rd grade through adult.   Call 864-280-1258                                                                                                                      September 21, 7PM  Oconee Mountain Opry– Hometown variety show of local and regional talent! Tickets $10                              ��                                                                                                                              

CHURCH NEWS                                                                                                                   Bethel Presbyterian Church (PCUSA),  580 Bethel Church Rd Walhalla, 29691. Worship at 10:30 a.m.  Come Visit Us!                                                                                                                               Boones Creek Baptist Church, 264 Boones Creek Road, Salem invites you to join us for regular worship service on Sunday morning with Sunday School at 10am and followed by worship at 11am.  

Salem Methodist Church, 520 Church Street, Down town Salem.  Salem Methodist is an independent church.       Sunday Breakfast at 9AM with Sunday School at 9:15AM and Worship Service at 10:30AM.   Holy Communion the first Sunday each month.  All welcome! Tune in to our live service on Facebook or view it later on our website.        ICE CREAM SOCIAL at the Salem Methodist Church:  Sunday afternoon August 25th at 5PM.  Everyone welcome!              Women’s Community Bible Study each Monday morning at 10AM led by Sherrill Carothers                            NEW PRAYER GROUP: Began August 8th at 7 PM at the Salem Methodist Church. Will meet every second and fourth Thursday each month. HELP MAKE JUMPROPES from old TShirts– Come learn and participate in making jump ropes for the Samaritan’s Shoe Box Ministry Sept 14th at 10AM.  

BOY SCOUTS and CUB SCOUTS to return to Salem?  Salem Methodist Church has been a host site for Scouts.  In the  recent past the number of scouts and leaders decreased so much the troops they stopped meeting.  There seems to be a growing interest in parents, children and the community to bring the scouts back to Salem.   Contact theoldsalempost@gmail.com if you would like contact information.  

FOR YOUR HEALTH— Keep your appointment! Schedule time for exercise.  “Exercise is good medicine!” (Beverly Chesser)

Clemson Rural Health Mobile Unit Coming to Salem:  August dates are Aug 13th and Aug 29th Time: 9AM-3PM Location: gravel parking lot across from the Salem Fire Department.  They will offer comprehensive primary care that includes chronic disease management and acute care.  The website: https://www.clemson.edu/cbshs/clemson-rural-health/patients.html    

LOCAL BUSINESS

DISCOVER Freeze Drying:   Easy to rehydrate.  Delicious & Nutritious.  Lasts up to 25 years!   ADCM  located 174 East Main Street Salem ( beside Talk of the Town Beauty Salon)  is carrying the HARVESTRIGHT Unit.  Stop by and check these out as well the firearms, ammo, fishing supplies,  treasures, antiques and more.                                                                                                     WANTED:  Someone looking for a home site, home, or fixer-upper with 8-12 Acres in the Tamassee-Salem. Contact theoldsalempost@gmail.com for contact information.                                                                                                        Isaiah 40:31:  “ But they that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles…”

Come to the  Methodist ice cream social!  LRM

[theohonohan]

Referential opacity and wikilinks

I like this section of a blog post about the ability to refer to a wiki page that doesn't exist—to mention it without having to create it:

If you’ve ever had a good wiki experience, you know what this feels like in practice. Groping towards an idea on one page you realize its relation to another page and quickly make a [[Bracketed Link]] or CamelCaseAssociation to pull that idea into your web. But most non-wiki environments frustrate this fluidity. They don’t want to know the name of the page — they want to know its location, which is like asking someone to give up using variables in their code and start addressing memory directly. It can be done, but it is going to kill your flow. What’s more, these frustrate one of the crucial features of wiki practice: they don’t let you link to pages that don’t exist yet. https://hapgood.us/2015/10/08/building-a-pseudo-wiki-on-tumblr/

The question arises of how to name the page you're declaring the potential existence of. A good name will hint at the topic if not define it completely. The worst name will be completely meaningless, when taken out of context.

Wikipedia has a couple of policies (1, 2) that deal with the related issue of piped links (links which display different text from the title of the page linked to). Piped links create flexibility, but also the risk of misuse. A piped link should not create an "easter egg" effect, or force the reader to engage in "mystery meat navigation". Both of the preceding phenomena involve the user not knowing what the link points to until they click it, or at least hover their mouse over it.

The Wikipedia style guideline called EASTEREGG is intended to discourage people from creating bad piped links, and is discussed in a section headed "Transparency". That word might imply that the concept referential transparency is involved, but it seems that the situation is not quite so simple.

Referential transparency is a property of a term's context, not of a term itself. Colloquially, in a referentially transparent context, terms with the same denotation can be freely interchanged. In a wiki context, this would imply that the link text could be freely substituted by any suitable term with the same denotation. English language phrases aren't generally referentially transparent, though.

The example that comes to mind is the phrase "John believes Kansas City is in Kansas". (Since Kansas City is in fact (mostly) in Missouri, John is mistaken). This sentence is not referentially transparent with respect to the term Kansas City. It's a referentially opaque context. Thus, we can't replace "Kansas City" with the words "the largest city in Missouri" without changing the meaning of the sentence. (Presumably, John doesn't believe that the largest city in Missouri is in Kansas). If the words "Kansas City" were a wikilink of the form [[Kansas City|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kansas_City,_Missouri]], the link text "the largest city in Missouri" would in theory be acceptable, except for the referential opacity problem. So Wikipedia's injunction to use "transparent" link text doesn't actually have anything to do with referential transparency. It's a matter of intuitiveness and clarity. Needless to say, anyone editing a wiki page should attempt to link only from referentially transparent linguistic contexts; where the name (e.g. "Kansas City") is being mentioned rather than used, the only appropriate link is to a page about the name itself rather than about its denotation. On Wikipedia, it seems that, when a suitable page exists (one which discusses a word itself rather than its meaning), it is often a disambiguation page or a Wiktionary page. Exceptions include the pages on this list of example sentences.

Perhaps the original issue of referring to a non-existent page for the first time ("declaring" it) can cast some light on piped linking. Ideally, a piped link's alternative text could serve as the title of the yet-to-be-created page, even if it's not the most obvious title for that page. In other words, the piped link text should clearly have the same denotation as the ideal title. This is a less restrictive constraint than that imposed by a referentially opaque context, and indeed it sounds similar to the freedom granted by referential transparency. The presence of the extra stylistic restriction that piped links should really only amount to reformattings of the linked article's title means that referential transparency is not implicated. I think!

[mariacallous]

Azerbaijan’s military strike on Nagorno-Karabakh culminated in Baku’s regaining full control over the separatist region within 24 hours. The Republic of Artsakh, established in the region by the local Armenian majority with military support form Yerevan, will now be dismantled, together with its defeated militia forces. Armenia must also withdraw its remaining troops from the region. Numerous Karabakh Armenians became refugees virtually overnight, as both Russia and the West distanced themselves from the conflict. Meduza correspondent Margarita Liutova talked about the situation in Nagorno-Karabakh with Ruben Enikolopov, a professor of economics at Pompeu Fabra University in Barcelona and a self-described Karabakh-born, Russian-speaking Armenian. Here’s what he thinks about the future of his birthplace and its Armenian population under Baku, and about the region’s human rights predicament, neglected by the international community.

Could you first talk about your Karabakh roots? Your grandfather, Nikolay Enikolopov, the well-known Soviet chemist, was born in the Nagorno-Karabakh Autonomous Region, part of the Soviet Republic of Azerbaijan.

Yes, our family originally came from Kusapat, where he was born, and shortly afterwards they moved to Stepanakert. He died when I was very little, but I do remember him talking to me about the Karabakh conflict. It bothered him a great deal. He always had a balanced position, clear of any extremist leanings, but he worried a great deal about what was happening to his family members in the region.

I often travel to Armenia, but the last time I was in Karabakh was about 10 years ago. Stupidly, I thought I had plenty of time to go back.

My identity is complicated. I am a Moscow Armenian — I grew up in Moscow and hardly speak any Armenian. On the other hand, I have at least twice as much Armenian blood in me than any other kind. I identify as an ethnic Armenian — a Russian-speaking Armenian, let’s put it this way.

I still have family in Karabakh. In the 1990s, some of my relatives were killed — one of them, mind you, wasn’t even in the military. He was a baker, and bakers are always the last to leave, since people would die without them. So he was killed, in the village where he was, close to the front line.

In 2020, I lost my 19-year-old nephew who was serving his obligatory term in the Armenian army. He was a business student at the American University of Armenia.

Fewer of my relatives live there now. The Red Cross evacuated my aunt in February.

What did you think about the cease-fire, achieved on condition of Armenia withdrawing its troops from Nagorno-Karabakh?

It’s a complete forfeiture of Karabakh and Artsakh. I guess it could have been worse. A meat-grinder with thousands or tens of thousands being killed, with the same end result, would have been far worse. But it’s still a heavy feeling.

Russia has clearly decided to step back and give Turkey carte blanche. There are two old empires still in existence in our world, and they live according to 19th-century laws, with the division of spheres of influence and so on. I think that Putin’s meeting with Erdogan definitely had something to do with this conflict. The phrase “Do what you want” was uttered there — and the rest was settled by Azerbaijan’s military superiority, buttressed by Turkey.

Armenia has a banal problem: it doesn’t have weapons, and that’s a huge strategic mistake. In the 1990s, wars were fought with manpower. Now, warfare has become capital-intensive. A country can ramp up its armaments very quickly if it has partners who support it. In Azerbaijan’s case, we’re talking about partnerships ranging from Turkey to Israel. If you don’t have partners, as Armenia doesn’t, this isn’t achievable. Buying weapons from India is a desperate measure.

I could see two possible solutions to this conflict, one of them being less ghastly than the other, but we don’t yet know which of them has been implemented.

I’m afraid that the only scenario that could preserve Artsakh’s independence would involve Kosovo-style bloodshed, captured on video. This could possibly pave the way to some Kosovo-style arrangement. But people matter more than territories, and sacrificing such a huge number of people for the sake of a very uncertain goal would have simply been strange. In a situation where no one was going to intervene from the outside, given this kind of imbalance of forces, surrender was predictable.

The only question left is what’s going to happen with the people who are now in Karabakh. The last 30 years of history have shown that tolerable relations between Baku and Karabakh Armenians are hardly possible. Besides, Ilham Aliyev’s legitimacy rests squarely on his reputation as the “liberator of Karabakh” (apart from him being also the son of the Soviet-era politician Heydar Aliyev).

What this means is that there won’t be any Armenians left in Karabakh. Some of them are bound to become refugees in Armenia. Others will be deposited in Azerbaijani prisons.

Do you mean that they’ll be prosecuted for separatism?

Yes, they could very well simply arrest all the men. Azerbaijani troops have been known to abduct people right out of Red Cross vehicles. The overall state of Azerbaijan’s justice system is very questionable. So, it’s merely a political decision, how many men to arrest and how many not to. The courts have very little to do with it.

It’s unclear at the moment how the question of Karabakh’s population will be dealt with, since no one is ready to intervene or guarantee those people’s safety.

I head about Armenians’ fears that Azerbaijan might launch an aggressive attack on Armenia itself, and not just Karabakh.

I think it’s a perfectly realistic scenario. Armenian Premier Pashinyan’s decision is fairly obvious: we’ll relinquish Karabakh, in exchange for security for Armenia. I’m not all that sure that the second part of that deal will be upheld. Over the past few months, Azerbaijan has attacked Armenian territories and remonstrated about Armenia’s airports and Armenia’s extraction of natural resources — not in Karabakh, but on its own territory proper.

So, I have some doubts about the prospect of peace and quiet in Azerbaijan’s relations with Armenia under the current regime in Baku. I’m not sure that they won’t end up at war. Azerbaijan, meanwhile, doesn’t have Russia’s immunity to sanctions. These two economies have completely different scale. So, sanctioning Azerbaijan is only a matter of will in the West to protect Armenia.

But for Europe, this conflict is remote. Judging by the kind of rhetoric that comes from the West, this region simply doesn’t register as a group of independent subjects. They treat it as a kind of chess board: Armenia hardly gets a mention; Turkey doesn’t, either, because they don’t yet understand the situation. There’s Russia, though, with its waning influence in the region. Regardless of whether it’s Georgia, Armenia, or Azerbaijan, they’re seen as distant, insignificant countries where there’s little point in wasting political resources.

As far as humanitarian motives, they’ve long since been forgotten, it seems to me. I haven’t seen the West intervene in anything for humanitarian reasons in years. There had been examples of this in the 1990s, but not since the turn of the millennium.

Things used to be simpler for the West: there was the USSR and it has to be defeated, for the sake of freedom and democracy. The methods varied — some were so bad it would have been better not to struggle at all — but the goal was there. Now, I see a deep global crisis of objectives. What bright future are we now aspiring to? What kind of utopia do we dream of? There isn’t any utopia left. And in the absence of goals and ideals, what remains is bare pragmatism.

While liberal Russians tend to sympathize with the Armenian people, the West seems to be emphasizing Azerbaijan’s sovereignty, comparing the Republic of Artsakh to the self-proclaimed Donetsk and Luhansk “republics” in Ukraine. What do you think about these comparisons?

This is a complicated situation, and it lends itself to spin. When you don’t want to intervene, you can say that you care about territorial integrity. But in Yugoslavia, it turned out that ethnic cleansing mattered more than territorial integrity.

No one is trying to say that Karabakh Armenians were right with respect to all the international norms. They weren’t, and this is why Artsakh wasn’t recognized as a state. But it’s too late to go back to the early 1990s, when for simplicity’s sake the borders of old Soviet republics were preserved, which created problems for Karabakh. We understand, for example, how Europe set state borders in Africa, drawing straight lines from afar. This was the same approach.

As for the West, the last time it even glanced in this region’s direction was probably 100 years ago, when Woodrow Wilson drafted a treaty that defined how the place should be run. Since then, it’s been just a remote region no one cares about.

Let’s admit it: if the West had wanted to regulate this conflict, it has certainly failed. A year ago, when missiles were already flying into Armenia, the U.S. sent in a ranger (in the figure of Nancy Pelosi) who scattered everyone, redlining the situation. When they want to, they’re certainly capable of achieving results.

As for the mistakes committed by the Armenian leadership, it’s always hard to tell apart its lack of will from its lack of opportunities. From my perspective, the current failure is definitely the failure of Armenia’s earlier leadership, who was in the best position to resolve the Karabakh question on its own terms in the 1990s, when it controlled both Karabakh and some of Azerbaijan’s territory. What proved to be an absolutely losing strategy, though, was to sit and think: “We already won, so let’s not do anything, since Russia has us under its wing.”

After 2020, Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan certainly understood that Armenia was on its way to relinquishing Karabakh. We must also take into view that the people who pour into the streets of Yerevan in protest want to preserve Artsakh by force — but this isn’t how 100 percent of Armenians think. Lots of them could not understand why their children should have to die for Artsakh, and the disproportionate place of the Artsakh question in Armenian politics wasn’t something everyone appreciated. Society itself was conflicted about this, but not openly: it’s hard to talk about such things aloud, and so they were never fully formulated in the public space.

I have a very distinct feeling that the government could have achieved much more, which makes me doubt its professionalism. At the very least, they could have achieved greater guarantees for the people who live there, even while relinquishing that territory. Yes, they’ll evacuate women, children, and the elderly. But what about the men? How many of them will remain alive and not in prison?

Of course, even guarantees from Baku couldn’t but inspire skepticism, since Baku can say anything at all in the absence of any checks and balances, either inside the country (which is an autocracy) or from outside agents. Russia is out of the game, the international community is silent. It strikes me as particularly cynical that this should all be happening while the UN General Assembly is in session. This proves the UN’s incapacity to do anything at all. This has been clear for quite a while, but here’s another nail in that coffin.

The destruction of international mechanisms that once guaranteed adherence to agreements is not a normal situation. For the time being, things are only getting worse, and rebuilding that system is today’s major challenge for global politics.

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday.

Head lice lay eggs to match your hair colour.

There is one divorce in the US every 36 seconds.

Omnicompetent means 'able to deal with anything'.

Will Ferrell turned down $29 million to do an ‘Elf’ sequel.

Women burn more calories during sex if they reach orgasm.

Giving birth is more lethal than skydiving in the United States.

On average people will wait six minutes in a queue before giving up.

There are more bacteria in your armpit than there are people in the world.

Making a list of what you're thankful for can actually decrease stress levels.

Almost half of American adults think dinosaurs and humans co-existed.

The word ‘rooster’ was coined so Americans didn't have to use the word ‘cock’.

A 2019 study found that some men's beards contained more bacteria than dog fur.

The Guinness World Record for "longest kiss" is 58 hours, 35 minutes and 58 seconds.

The McDonald's filet-o-fish was invented for Catholics who couldn't eat meat on Fridays.

To your brain, love is essentially an addiction, and breakups cause it to go through withdrawal.

A lack of education can be as deadly as smoking, according to research from New York University.

If you search for ‘Bletchley Park’ in Google, it will first scramble the letters and then proceed to decode it.

Because using zero in medieval Italy was illegal (it was thought to be satanic), accountants had to use it secretly.

Dungeons and Dragons originally included Hobbits as characters, until the holder of Tolkien's estate sued the game maker.

In 2018, the world's most expensive bottle of vodka (worth $1.3 million) was stolen and found empty on a construction site.

Speeding fines in Finland reflect the drivers earnings. In 2002, a Nokia executive doing 75kph in a 50kph zone was fined €116,000.

In ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, Dakota Johnson's pubic hair was added using CGI for modesty and to comply with the film's rating requirements.

In 1876, Sigmund Freud travelled to Trieste in Italy where he dissected 400 eels to identify where their genitals are located. He did not find them.

In the movie ‘Titanic’, Jack tells Rose about a time he went ice fishing on Lake Wissota in Wisconsin Lake Wissota wasn't formed until 1917, five years after Titanic sank.

In 2015, a Chinese billionaire bought a $170 million painting by Amedeo Modigliani with his American Express credit card so he could use the points for free airfare.

Dolly Parton recorded a secret song, which she locked in a box at Dollywood's DreamMore Resort. The box also contains a CD player and won't be opened until 2045.

In his original draft of the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson included a passage condemning the practice of slavery, though it was ultimately removed.

In 2021, after a 10-year-old girl asked Amazon's Alexa for a 'challenge to do,' the speaker replied, "Plug in a phone charger about halfway into a wall outlet, then touch a penny to the exposed prongs."

Warner Bros. initially produced ‘Home Alone’ but, when the budget grew from $14 to $17 million, they were no longer interested, and 20th Century Fox took it over. The movie went on to gross $476.7 million.

In 1992, Mattel released a Barbie doll with a voice box that could speak up to four random phrases from a list of 270. However, groups such as the American Association of University Women found the phrase "Math class is tough!" offensive.

In 2014, a woman named Ruja Ignatova launched a fake cryptocurrency named OneCoin. Despite the currency never existing, Ruja convinced people all over the world to invest. In 2017, after raking in $4 billion profit, she boarded a plane to Greece and hasn't been seen since.

Mike Ilitch, the founder of Little Caesar's pizza chain, quietly paid for Rosa Parks' rent after learning she had been robbed and assaulted in her home at the age of 81 in 1994. He helped her move to a safer neighbourhood and continued to pay her rent until she died in 2005.

Olivia Newton-John’s maternal grandfather was the physicist Max Born, who won the 1954 Nobel Prize for his research in quantum mechanics. Her father was the MI5 officer Brinley Newton-John, who helped break the Enigma codes. Her third cousin is Ben Elton.

A bottle of water can be £1.00 in the supermarket, £2.00 at the gym, £3.00 at the cinema and £4.00 on a plane. The only thing that’s changed is the value of the place. The next time you feel your worth is worth nothing, maybe you’re in the wrong place?

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.

[quillheel]

They remember that ; that sentiment shed onto them, of tomorrows, of other days ; from a time that no longer exists, and perhaps never did.

They know, in a way they cannot think, but know anyhow that this is not true. That, in some caliber, tomorrows do not exist in the facet of survival, of unending peril, of the way she continues to return, of the way she will not stop keep coming back. They know this, that it doesn’t matter, as much as they know that the words, the phrase, is from something that cannot exist and never has. This does not stop the way it lodges into their mind like a leech, or a tick, or something under the skin. The mind they do not have, the mind they do now. 

These instances, where it is them and not him, are rare, and few, and uncomfortably quiet. This existence is one out of fried circuitry left to rot as decay settles into their metal bones the way marrow is not hollow but theirs are ━ concave, full of something, all nonexistent nerve. Their body threatens, always, to give out beneath them both, and these threats are not empty so much as they are desperately held back. Joints barely in repair, their mind clogged with two consciousnesses and a head full of bones, a head full of meat, a head full of tomorrow, and quiet, and discomfort, and senselessness. 

They, for a digital thing, should not be distinguishable from him at all, in a specific, clear-cut way that is stark against the erosion of holes through material that make up their clogged casing ━ like a single bright light. ━ that, even in a world where ghosts are real and they love you and they miss you and they hate you and they’re sorry, they should not be able to think, to feel the crackle of circuitry, to know this. ━━━ the iron maiden should not know, and yet,

━ and yet. the question prompts silence in the nervous way you’ve asked it, stretching, unbreathing, uncomfortable. To men, it would be the damning silence of a fools inquiry, knowing better, mocking in the indirect way that it is beneath them to even answer, but to Bonnie : an olive, husked thing : this is not the same. 

“ Bright. Loud. Tomorrow is━━ “ their voice-box crackles with wires too astonished in their own blinding, brief functionality that they give out underneath their own weight just after. Four words, for a thing like them with nothing to say except everything and nothing to do it with except bleed to try, is still too much. Their voice-box fills the room in a brief, frightening static that fills the building before it stops just as suddenly, and the tape starts again ━ recording over something that does not exist, something from nothing, something from nothing at all

" ... They liked it there, " a small admittance in a small voice in a much too big body, like they, in a distant way, were afraid that if they spoke too loud he'd wake up, and pry their voice from them. A child hiding a secret. They were never a child to begin with. " in the lights, with us, back then. They liked the music. The walls were white, confetti covered the floors, floors the same color as my bowtie, my bowtie the━ "

the stopping is a choice. the stopping is one they must make. they cannot tell her everything without risking falling back into a past they understand the ending of. They cannot tell her everything without risking losing themselves entire. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Sleep a little longer.

" ... We'd play songs, mostly. " they should not sound breathless. They do anyway. " I told stories, he always sang... When someone had a birthday there, there was a deal they always had. A free cupcake. Store bought. I remember that. "

so many small things, in the face of, in the spite of something so large. they remember the way the boys head cracked, and the confetti washed away in the blood, and the purple turned pink, then black. They hope they remember it forever. No one else will have to, then. Only them. Only them. That would be nice, and good, and quiet, when it's over. Only them. Only them.

" ... I don't know what you want from me. " they admit this not as a bid of silence, but unable to convey the lengths of which memory used to go, of which that place meant " So much. And so, so little. I don't know what you want more. "

" I don't know, myself, either. "

@quillheel​ sent ;;

tomorrow  is  another  day  . / fr0m Spring B0nnie! / quiIIheeI

[ fnaf prompts. | accepting. ]

   A heavy sigh is what leaves her; slumping further into her chair as she lets out a quiet laugh as she listens. She is tired, she hasn’t slept; plagued by her nightmares and the looming sense of pressure on her shoulders ( she put that there herself, in all honesty ). She pushes herself up, leaning back as she glances to the rabbit, hands reaching around herself to lock her own body into a self-hug, a cheeky little smile popping on her face as she gave a small hum of agreement– the other was right, after all, tomorrow will always be far more different, she just hopes that she can last for it. Her feet kick the air a bit idly as she sticks where she is for the moment, brain whirling to life in order to answer.

   ❝ Every day’s different from the last, considering. ❞ She states, tilting her head for a moment, ❝ Though, they do tend to blur together when you’re just trying to survive, if that makes sense. ❞ Another laugh, and Nova pauses to think of a question, ❝ …Hey, Bon. ❞ Her eyes focus on the other, and Nova gave a small smile, something a little nervous, as though what she wanted to ask might be a bit… strange, but if she does not ask now; she may not never know ( and as silly as it was, not knowing was the only thing killing her from the inside ).

   ❝ You… you don’t have to answer, but what was it like? ❞ She starts, ❝ Um, back then, ‘course, in the… the diner. ❞ Her hand raises, scratching the side of her neck as she looked down, ❝ My parents were real young when they were there, so they don’t really remember much of it… but I guess I kinda wanted to know. And… you’re, like, basically my best source of information. ❞

   ❝ Does… that make sense? ❞

[knowlesian]

has anyone done a gifset that’s just comparing izzy tearing up when ed chokes him/The Whole Toe thing? 

i only ask because i need to stare at izzy ‘fuck you we were NOT MUPPETS YESTERDAY oh shit, oh fuuuuuck yes it’s happening, glory hallelujah my boyfriend captain is back, i’m done being gaslit by you wholesome felt twats’ hands experiencing the realignment of his fucked up little world on an endless loop.

I MEAN. if you think about it, izzy’s from the version of black sails Certain Oblivious People thought that show was before the “they’re gay pirates, harold, deal with it or be unable to watch this show because they’re getting their gay all over the main thrust of the narrative as we speak” beat dropped. 

this means he is subtextually gay as shit for blackbeard in freaky/violent, public ways and even fucking gayer still for edward in ...also freaky/violent, but softer and more private ways and all the while textually speaking, They’re Just Good Friends forever and ever amen.

izzy is from a world where there is a rule: you work out the way you wanna fuck the guy you spend all your time with by stabbing things together. other people, each other, all phallic imagery is allowed and indeed, encouraged, so long as you use objects that evoke “soooo, this is supposed to be a dick thing, right?” but never push it beyond the realm of subtext. izzy can have loyalty and shared power, and as long as he cashes in his tokens sparingly meaningful gazes and clasping arms or patting each other on the shoulder and letting the touch linger juuuuust long enough to make it kinda gay are all on the approved list. in izzy’s world you bleed for each other, you kill and die for each other, you are the most important people in each other’s lives—as long as the text retains plausible deniability it’s Not Like That. 

maybe you can have a lil it’s not gay if it’s in a threeway (or a love triangle!) action as a treat and if somebody almost dies/is thought to be dead a hug is allowed, but your love better not even fucking think about speaking its name. 

honestly, even if izzy felt like pushing that barrier, what would he say? the sacred texts to translate what izzy feels for the man who becomes edward when they’re alone don’t even exist where he’s from. they have words for what he might want do in bed and what the world thinks of men like him, but love’s just not applicable. the songs he sings are not ones of love because not to put too fine a point on it, but: in izzy’s world, love is for men who don’t have boners you can see from space for other men. he’s swallowed all the lies the world told him about love whole and made them part of his identity.

with all that in mind, let’s look at how if you tilt your head and squint, ofmd is not just a joyful and affirming celebration of finding your community of equally if not identically bizarre fellows, but also a deeply depressing pirate love story as experienced by izzy ‘the only non-muppet around and not okay with it’ hands.

before i get into the actual meat of the two scenes, i want to stop and marvel at one specific part of the leadup and why ed decides to try and introduce the front of izzy’s neck to the back. quote time!!!!

Not some namby-pamby in a silk gown, pining for his boyfriend. 

like, CHRIST. fucking WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE. why are they so good? i gotta take a quick structural analysis break to handle the way the writers packed like... a whole fucking essay on izzy’s deeply toxic pirate masculinity and summed up a point i will spend this whole insane post trying to express in one tidy line. i ache to be this efficient a writer.

i’m gonna break it into pieces, because they all deserve attention.

we start out with what’s edging into a gentle slur, but is ultimately defanged by being nowhere close to on par with the uglier ways a modern audience knows he could phrase that. i think it’s worth spotlighting how izzy never quite says anything on its face hateful that i can think of? he’s not supportive, that’s for fucking certain, but unless i’ve forgotten something (very possible, often true) this is the closest he comes to fulfilling the homophobic gay trope in the content of his speech and not just how he says things/his vibes. 

(though let us make no mistake here, his vibes are rock fucking hard homophobic gay. jesus christ with this one, bless his heart.)

i can’t tell if it’s a writer choice or character choice. my instinct says it’s both! anyway, either way i’m into it. could even be a subtle hint izzy’s closer to dragging the canon kicking and screaming into the dark where he feels more comfortable. 

now we move over to izzy mocking edward’s dressing gown. this team HATES ME, because it’s not enough to just have him essentially say “take off that soft fancy shit and rub some dirt on it, real men don’t cry”. oh no, not for these absolute combopack monster/lighthouses! of course they have izzy leave off dressing and just say gown. of COURSE. we understand as an audience they don’t mean gown as in dress because the visuals fill that gap for us, but by deleting one word they effectively have izzy imply edward’s a big fucking girl without needing to have him actually say it.

i mean... come on. come ON.

pining and boyfriend are also excellent choices; pining implies weakness and fading from a former glory, and boyfriend is uh... boyfriend! what it says on the tin, but it also throws in tones of infantilization by leaning on ‘boy’ instead of a more adult-associated choice like lover. 

anyway onto what i’m supposed to be doing: crying about how con is lowkey playing out a grand fucking greek tragedy in the background at literally every second he’s on-screen as izzy and i’ve gone down the rabbit hole about it. honestly they should give that man extra hazard pay, he could have hurt himself going this hard.

look at the way his face softens when edward chokes him. look at the tears in his eyes and the tremble in his hand when he reaches out, the un-fucking-bearable tenderness. the way he doesn’t fight ed’s violence, he encourages and leans into it. (because once upon a time in private, izzy was allowed to know that blackbeard could be edward; he was the only person who knew that, before stede rolled on up in his stupid fucking boat and his stupid fucking pants and unearthed ed and ruined izzy’s whole fucking life.)

speaking of:

Blackbeard is my captain. I serve Blackbeard, not Edward. Edward better watch his fucking step.

the way i feel about ‘i serve blackbeard’ does not even need to be EXPLAINED. if you’re bothering to read this shit you know the face i made when that line entered my ears and lodged itself in my brain, never to leave, because you made it too. i won’t profane even this Most Unholy post with my feelings about the use of that particular verb there. it’s good. i like it. well done team, no notes and the end. nobody fucking perceive me.

more high mindedly: i love how izzy uses edward here, not ed. it reframes the “using edward is a privilege i am given by my captain” to “saying edward is a gift i can take back until you prove you’re my captain again”. as far as izzy is concerned, ed doesn’t even exist. blackbeard’s his captain and always has been and thus commands his loyalty, but edward’s in the doghouse until he thinks long and hard about what he’s done.

there’s also a beat there that i think stands as what izzy considers Having a Talk About Their Relationship.

(...well fuck. well, FUCK. izzy thought they were dating, didn’t he? he totally did. holy shit that’s perfect. they were subtextually dating and stede started actually dating ed and that’s just another level of his reality stede broke. oh my god, this little ratman. this fucking IDIOT. his life is the worst. it’s amazing and so funny and also no-jokes sad. SO GOOD.)

so i guess that means in izzy’s world, that was how you say “we might still have to work together, but you’re sleeping on the fucking couch until i sort out how i feel about your little fling”. blackbeard is his captain and he serves him; that’s business. edward is his Subtextual Boyfriend, and from izzy’s perspective edward has been really shitting the bed lately.

honestly: awww, look at him go! trying to communicate like a real boy. that’s one mangled ‘you tried’ star for izzy.

all that would be enough to make me want to fling myself into the sun, it really would. i would still be screaming about izzy and the way con makes sure izzy’s gaze always comes back to rest on ed in every scene they're in together, no matter what else is going on, for the rest of my life.

but oh wait, it GETS WORSE. because here it comes: the toe scene. buckle up, get ready for this to Go Places because i am going full galaxy brain. let’s talk about love as consumption re: izzy’s feelings about doing the Weird Vore.

there’s the unavoidable jesus shit all up in this scene’s guts so i honestly could stop here and just scream WHY? WHY, WHY DO A FUCKING COMMUNION METAPHOR WITH HIS OWN TOE STANDING IN FOR THE HOLY HOST? YOU’RE SICK. YOU’RE SICK AND I LOVE IT!!! SIT AND THINK ABOUT YOUR CHOICES AND THEN NEVER EVER CHANGE, AND IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT: GO AHEAD AND GET WORSE for a couple hours instead of moving on, but i’ll get there eventually. 

aka: if you ever thought to yourself ‘i wonder if anybody’s gonna talk way too long about the constant and super amazing queering and/or subversion of christian imagery and the religion itself in this show’ i got your back there, just you hold tight. ohhhhh baby i got so! many! thoughts! on! that!

for today though, i’m gonna stick with the way izzy processes love and his relationship with ed.

the way ed gets rid of lucius, layers his armor back on piece by piece, and then sees himself reflected in an implement of violence and names himself a monster, not a lighthouse, before he goes to visit izzy is... A Lot. i want to talk more later! but it felt worth mentioning here as his gateway between the new world he thinks stede denied him and the old world he used to share with izzy. 

similarly, the way we get a shot of izzy’s bare, vulnerable feet and black loincloth thing-y before ed takes his toe makes me want to wade right into the proverbial sea!!! i hate this show.

the mix of tenderness and menace taika flips between here is just... like, i know this post is about con and izzy and i will GET THERE but because taika’s affect entirely changing here is important to izzy, i get to gush about it. he’s just so good. 

anyway, izzy. izzy, who has a mouth full of his own toe and edward all up in his grill and thanks to the Weird Vore is having a religious and a sexual experience all at once. izzy, with a love song for broken men in his heart and tears in his eyes, because in this moment he is full of nothing but awe.

the way we use ‘awesome’ now is pretty casual; it means we like something. that something is good. my lunch was awesome, your hat is awesome, we had an awesome time. good, but not necessarily noteworthy. you forget awesome things that happen to you all the time.

in the bible, when something is worthy of awe, you drop to your knees and cry and beg for mercy because the glory and power of what you have just witnessed cannot be expressed by clumsy human tongues; to be in even an echo of the presence of god is to experience the overwhelming urge to absolutely shit yourself. edward’s hand around his throat gave him hope, but this clicks everything back into place for him because the violent, ugly evidence of edward’s love for him is working its way down his gullet. hurrah! life is good again, and by good izzy means horrifying.

so yeah, izzy is chock-full of awe. edward is the face of his god and real flesh his communion; this is a motherfucking religious experience. bow down bitches, because he is worshipping.

(also, he probably came in his pants.)

the thing that really takes me to “fuck it, i’m out, i can’t anymore” place is the way the method of consumption proves the lie of izzy’s ecstasy. edward isn’t providing him any real nourishment, ed is feeding izzy himself, shoving his own toxic notions of love down his throat and making sure he chews them real good first. he’s not consuming the man he loves, he’s eating his own fucking tail.

i just wanna talk to the person who came up with this idea. maybe i’ll beat them up in the parking lot of a denny’s, maybe i’ll cry on them forever. maybe i’ll buy them a fruit basket so expensive i will have to go into debt forever. who knows! i am both a monster and a lighthouse, myself.

the tatty scrap izzy clutches close to his chest and calls his heart might only exist in metaphor, but it’s just as red as ed’s and unlike our boy, the claret being spilled by izzy’s love most fucking certainly isn’t wine. violent and transactional, nasty brutish and short; these are the words izzy learned for the feelings in his chest. it’s like jack said before buttons took his ass out with what i can only assume is the power of having the most amazing facial expressions i have ever seen: pirates don’t have friends, and they don’t fall in love. they’re just in various stages of fucking each other over and in izzy’s sad, repressed world, they don’t even get to fuck each other in the bargain.

but that’s okay: he doesn’t need that. the story izzy lived in before stede ruined his life told him time and time again: it’s not about that. 

so this is good, and this is right. with edward looming over him, subtextually fucking the shit out of him but not making it gay in a way a straight audience would be unable to ignore, the world makes sense again. he’s got the taste of his own flesh in his mouth and blood on his teeth. he’s home. 

so long to that muppet bullshit about ‘talking out our feelings’ and ‘giving each other hugs’ and ‘oh my FUCKING GOD get some therapy you leather-clad sad sack who is 1000000% going to die alone in a puddle of his own piss if he doesn’t get it together’. fuck emotional literacy right in the ear! who’s she? izzy’s proud to say he’s never met her. 

all that joy, the glimpse into a world where love is a word that could ever apply izzy was all a bad dream, and now he’s awake. this is the real world: this is as close to a love song as men like izzy can ever hope to shape with their untrained tongues. 

hey la, hey la, motherfuckers. his boyfriend’s back.

...so yeah anyway, anybody seen that gifset?

[fancoloredglasses]

Lois & Clark: the New Adventures of Superman (a super-powered rom-com)

(Thanks to Omar David)

[All images are owned by DC Comics and Warner Bros Discovery. Please don’t sue me]

I would like to start by saying it must be extremely difficult to write for any media where Superman is involves, whether comics, TV, movies, books, radio, etc. I mean, the guy is stupid-strong, stupid-invulnerable, stupid-fast, and has a metric shit-ton of powers that put him leagues ahead of anyone he might square off against.

Therefore, you have a few options:

Create adversaries on his power level (like DC did with Doomsday in The Death of Superman), but then you have an opponent that’s on Superman’s level that the rest of the lineup will have to deal with.

Give him an opponent who works behind the scenes who undermines his image and confidence (and might be able to tweak his nose a few times as well), which is why Lex Luthor exists. However, without giving Superman  someone to punch, the readers will get bored after a while.

Give him some very specific weaknesses (such as a certain green rock), but you can’t have Kryptonite constantly showing up to Save The Day for the bad guys.

Make it more about the human side than the super side. However, much like my second option, people are eventually want to see the hero just punch things.

Make it campy (see Superman III and IV), and you can watch those films to see how horribly wrong that can go.

...which bring us to Lois & Clark. The show (thankfully) didn’t make a powerful adversary (or at least they gave themselves a way to remove the threat from the series the few times they did), but ticked the other four boxes (though to be fair, there’s no way they could NOT use Kryptonite in some way)

This was the first time we saw a post-Crisis on Infinite Earths version of Superman (as originally depicted by legendary writer/artist John Byrne in 1986) on screen, and there were a ton of changes...

His core powers were somewhat diminished from the Silver Age

A lot of his more absurd powers (such as destroying planets with a sneeze, rebuilding the Great Wall of Chine with his vision, and his “amnesia kiss”) were gone

He knew nothing about Krypton save that he was originally born there (the Silver Age Superman was constantly referencing Krypton)

He was the sole survivor (no Supergirl, General Zod, or Krypto the Super Dog)

His costume wasn’t made of Kryptonian fabric (meaning it was also invulnerable, but just normal fabric (which, thanks to an “aura” around Superman, meant it stayed intact through most of his battles, though Byrne loved to draw the cape getting torn in every fight!)

In the comics, the S-symbol was made after the Daily Planet coined the phrase “Superman” following his first public appearance, as opposed to being a Kryptonian relic.

And, most importantly, Martha and Jonathan Kent were alive and well in Smallville (in the Golden and Silver Ages, Pa Kent died when Clark was a teenager)

Most of these elements remained for Lois & Clark, though the writers reverted the S-Symbol to being from Kal-El’s rocket.

But enough of the exposition, on to the meat of the series!

The show follows Clark Kent (played by Dean Cain, who would return into Kryptonian orbit a number of years later as Supergirl’s adopted father), intrepid reporter for the Daily Planet (in a time where newspapers were a hell of a lot more relevant than they are now) and his alter ego...

...Superman. I should note that when we first see Clark (before he even has the iconic costume of his alter ego designed for him by his mother) he’s already wearing glasses. Exactly why is he doing that if he has no alter identity to conceal?

And what is Clark Kent/Superman without Lois Lane (played by Teri Hatcher)? Cain and Hatcher had awesome chemistry as friends/rivals as well as able to play the “will they/won’t they” tension very well (at least until they actually did)

The pair’s first meeting with Clark “in costume” was...kind of explosive.

(Thanks to DJDoena)

But the Daily Planet is more than just Lane and Kent (as much as they seem to hog the front page), so rounding out the Planet’s staff (at least the ones in the opening credits) are...

...Daily Planet Editor in Chief Perry White, who is Metropolis’s biggest Elvis fan...

...and Perry’s gopher (and later staff photographer) Jimmy Olson. However, the producers thought the actor looked a bit too much like Cain...

...so he was replaced in season 2.

Also a casualty in season 2 was Society Pages columnist Cat Grant. The producers felt the character was a bit too “risque” for their target audience (often rumored to be sleeping with fellow staff members) and she didn’t return after season 1.

As I mentioned earlier in this review, Martha and Jonathan Kent are alive and well (and apparently Smallville is close enough to Metropolis that they occasionally make trips there) Jonathan is a down-to-earth kinda guy while Martha is constantly trying to expand her horizons (usually with a new hobby every week...

(Thanks to Guardian Images)

...including sewing)

But what is Superman without a great villain...

...and he got a hell of one with Lex Luthor (played by John Shea). One other HUGE change in the Superman mythos was to Luthor. After Crisis he drastically changed from a “FOOLS! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL MUHAHAHAHAHA!”-type mad scientist to a brilliant (and thoroughly corrupt) industrialist who would bend the legal system to keep his hands clean despite some blatantly obvious criminal activities (and managed to thumb his nose at Superman every time), and he was written to perfection in season 1. However, due to scheduling conflicts, he was written out with panache...

(thanks to ScreenBlaster13)

However, this being super-heroes, he came back from the dead for a couple of guest appearances.

The tone of the show was kept light, bordering on silly at times (such as casting Sonny Bono as mayor (and having him constantly dropping Sonny & Cher lyrics in his speeches) or having an episode where prohibition-era gangsters are cloned and allowed to run rampant in Metropolis) While Superman was a big part of the series, the fact that he was almost an afterthought in the show’s title should show where the real focus of the show was.

For two seasons, the show centered on the rivalry and budding relationship between Lois and Clark, then in season 3 the romance really kicked into gear, culminating in their marriage. Unfortunately, by then the series was starting to unravel, completely coming apart by the time the series was cancelled at the end of season 4.

As always, if you would like to say a particular episode reviewed, please let me know!

[pebblethief]

EVENS MOTHERFUCKER

i love u, anon

2. thoughts on veganism? broadly i am for it. but environmentalism comes first. so like.....wool is objectively better for the planet than plastic. i will buy real leather for practical purposes (eg my walking boots are leather) but i wont buy leather OR pleather for ~fashion~ reasons if i can possibly help it. I havent eaten meat since 2005 and my dairy intake is mostly limited to 'literally dont have room in the fridge for another milk' and 'proper chocolate/ice cream/cheese is an occasional treat' basically: good for the planet > good for animals, but disagree w the frivolous/rampant consumption of animal products? 4. mythical creature you think/believe is real? hmmmmmmm. statistically i think aliens exist? but likely not within reachable distances. probably some weird creatures we havent found yet but like.. i dont believe in nessie except for fun reasons 6. do you use a watch? i do! i have a ~fitness watch~ but mostly to track my sleep/stress. i do use it for watch-y reasons too 8. do you change into specific clothes for the house when you get home? i would rather die than wear jeans at home for more than 20 minutes. if i am at home i am wearing pjs/loose cotton trousers 10. on a plane, do you ask for apple or orange juice? i have never been on a plane! but apple juice > orange, esp long life 12. brand of haircare/bodycare/skincare that you trust 100%? no? last year for my bday i bought a bottle of faith in nature shampoo and it lasted literally over a year so i bought another but that is as far as brand loyalty goes lol 14. do you think you’re dehydrated? never. probably overhydrated if the amount i have to pee says anything 16. thoughts on mint chocolate chip? the only time i like mint!! i love it! 18. your boba/tea order? never had boba :( 20. favorite disney princess movie? uhhhhhhhh. not really a disney person. brave i guess? 22. do you have an emotional support water bottle? unless it is hot i barely drink water tbh 24. which do you find yourself using, american or british english? gotta admit i do sometimes phrase stuff in american english online bc it gets tiring having americans be amused by the way i talk lol. if i know u you can deal with my weird british idioms tho 26. how’s your spice tolerance? uhhhh. i dont seek out 'so spicy it hurts' but its not....the worst? if it is going to make my eyes water it better be really tasty 28. last meal on earth? deep fried tofu in kung pao sauce!!!!!! followed by.....big slice of cake 30. ask me anything ! you didnt!!

[grinoir]

Religious Medievalism: “Stregheria”, Wicca and History - part 1

[TN: This article will break the Introduction to Stregoneria series for a second, but I believe it’s important to set things into perspective about both Witchcraft and this blog. My goal is to put out content, translated or redacted by me, in order to give people the correct historical information. I see a lot people on TikTok messing with things they don’t know, appropriating and distorting practices and cultures and profiting off of it. The only focus of this blog is the practice and the history behind it, I don’t want to “put people down”, I want to make the information available so you won’t hurt yourselves.

Also, I do not support fa***sm, na**sm or any other movement/ideology that oppresses and discriminates people. I’m specifiying this because I’ve received an anonymous ask about it and it kind of hurt just reading it. I hope this will clarify things and make whoever asked me that more confortable with my blog and my content. I’m a history nerd Strega, nothing more.

This article will be a translation, synthesis and re-elaboration of the following articles

https://tradizioneitaliana.wordpress.com/2020/11/12/medievalismo-religioso-stregheria-wicca-e-storia/

https://medievaleggiando.it/la-legittimazione-storica-della-wicca-margaret-murray-e-la-manipolazione-delle-fonti/

https://medievaleggiando.it/il-vangelo-delle-streghe-e-linizio-della-wicca-il-fascino-di-un-falso-storico/

The first being a rectification of the two that follow.

This article will be divided in two parts because it’s way too long to read and to translate, i’m drained af]

THE DEBUNKING OF MURRAY

Margaret Alice Murray (1863-1963) was a British Anthropologist and Egyptologist, well known in the academic environment for her contributions in the studies of folklore. Even if she was very criticized and her reputation as an historian was poor, her work became popular bestsellers from 1940 onward.

The most well-known and controversial one is “The Witch-Cult in the Western Europe” published in 1921. In this book, Murray alleges that there was some sort of secret model of pagan resistance to Christianity spreaded all across Europe, and that the witches’ hunt and the proof presented to the trials were an attempt to eliminate a rival cult.

This book was clearly influenced by “Satanism and Witchcraft” by Jules Michelet, that alleged that Medieval Witchcraft was an act of popular rebellion against the oppression of feudalism and the Roman Catholic church, that took the form of a secret religion inspired by paganism and organized mainly by women.

To support her narrative, Murray chooses to analyze some of the trials that took place during the great hunt and employs 15 primary sources, mostly British or Scottish (not paneuropean, or sources from the european continent), that describe famous trials. Murray’s analysis of the Somerset Trials in 1664 offer a good example of her work ethics; quoting the testimony of Elizabeth Styles:

“At their meeting they have usually Wine or good Beer, Cakes, Meat or the like. They eat and drink really when they meet in their bodies, dance also and have Musick. The Man in black sits at the higher end, and Anne Bishop usually next him. He useth some words before meat, and none after, his voice is audible, but very low.”

Murray conveniently seems to “forget” to quote the immediately preceding phrase:

”That at every meeting before the Spirit vanisheth away, he appoints the next meeting place and time, and at his departure there is a foul smell.”

Other details offered by Styles are omitted, like when she alleges that the Devil presented to her in the shape of a dog or a cat or a fly, that the Devil offered her followers an oinment to use on their heads and wrists that made it possible to move them from a place to another. Or that sometimes the reunion involved only the spirits of the witches, while their bodies stayed at home.

Murray was fully aware of the fantasy element in the testimonies she included in her books, but she was able, by deliberately manipulating historical sources, to make people believe the fake narrative that a Medieval religion of witches with covens, rites and their own beliefs that relentlessy opposed Christianity really existed.

In her “The God of the Witches”, published in 1933 and clearly written for a commercial audience, she further broadened the scope of her claims on the witches’ cult. In this book, she alleges that until the C17th BCE the there was a religion, older than Christianity, that kept existing in all of Western Europe. Said religion, was focused on the worship of a two-faced horned god, known to the Romans ad Diano; this god presided the witches’ gathering and was mistaken by the Inquisition of the Devil, conclusion that made them associate witchcraft with a satanic cult.

Murray claims the existence of a *specific* non-christian organized cult spread all across Europe that worshipped Diano and relentlessly opposed the Roman Catholic church, but the sources she quotes are late and recount the flattening of the various “pagan” cults to the assimilation with the christian Devil, operated by the Church.

In fact, the Devil that the trials report on, depending on the religion, overlapped with different figures: in British and Scottish traditions the Devil was the result of the demonization of the King of Elphame. In the Basque country, the Devil substituted Mari. In Northern Italy it overlapped with the Donna del Buon Gioco. This means that the “Northern Italian Devil” is different from the “British Devil” and the “Basque Devil”.

This “Devil” is a figure that flattens everything and overlapped and substituted so many different figures, depending on the religion and the figure it ended up overlapping with.

Therefore, Murray’s narrative of a paneuropean cult of the Horned God stems from the analysis of late sources and to the false equivalence of the Devil that presided the Ludus (Sabba) in Scotland (where he masks the King of Elphame) and the Devil of other countries (where he masks other entities).

Since the Devil isn’t the same entity in all of Europe, the narrative of a counter-christianity organized paneuropean cult of prehistoric origin falls too. Instead, what we’re dealing with are Medieval, non-christian rielaborations of different remainders of the Religions of the Gentiles that survived in the Christian age and were absorbed in the legend of the Faery Procession/Procession of the Dominae Nocturnae first, and the legend of the Ludus (Sabba) later.

The following quote by Ronald Hutton, English historian who specialises in Early Modern Britain, British folklore, pre-Christian religion and Contemporary Paganism and professor at the University of Bristol, confirms this:

“Over a quarter of a century ago, I adopted the expression “Pagan survivals” to describe elements of ancient Pagan culture that had persisted in later Christian societies. In doing so, I was drawing a distinction between such survivals, of which there seemed to be many, and “surviving Paganism”; that is the continued self-conscious practice of the older religions, of which there seemed to be none. This point was worth making because even in the 1980s, there was a persisting belief, based on outdated academic texts, that Paganism had survived as a living force among the common people in much of medieval Europe: it was widespread in other scholarly disciplines than history, let alone among the general public. My formula and approach was adopted by other authors in the 1990s. During that decade, however, a reaction set in against it among historians who preferred to stress the comprehensive Christianization of medieval European societies and to relegate elements that had hither to been identifed as of pagan origin to categories of religiously neutral folklore or of lay Christianity. Some emphasized that the undoubted tendency of some Christians at the time to condemn such beliefs and practices as pagan was a hallmark of a highly atypical, reforming, intolerant and evangelical strain of churchman. Michael’s system of classification, in this volume, may be said to take its place in this, apparently now dominant, set of scholarly attitudes. Revisiting the issue myself, I am inclined to meet it halfway. I am startingto agree that to speak of aspects of medieval culture as “Pagan” might indeed be misleading and inadequate. Moreover, it would be especially inappropriate to characterize fgures such as the lady of the night rides, the fairy queen or the Cailleach as “Pagan survivals” when they seem like medieval or post-medieval creations. However, I have equal diffculty in describing them simply and straightforwardly as “Christian” because of their total lack of reference to any aspect of Christianity, including theology, cosmology, scripture and liturgy; all of them would indeed fit far more comfortably into a Pagan world-picture. […] It may be that the old polarized labels are becoming inadequate to describe a medieval and early modern religious and quasi-religious world that is coming to seem even more complex, exciting and interesting than it had seemed to be before.”

Also Michael Ostling, religious studies scholar focusing on the history, historiography, and representation of witches and witchcraft, confirms this in Fairies, Demons, and Nature Spirits: “Small Gods” at the Margin of Christendom, published in 2018.

“Christians encompass aspects of their prior paganism both by inversion and revaluation. But where traditional spirits remain salient to a Christianized culture in encompassed or inverted form, their ongoing reality ought not to be counted by scholars as a pagan survival—though it is likely to be so construed by Christians themselves. Such “surviving” spirits are not just marginalized or diabolized pagan remnants, they are continually re-performed, recreated through Christian ritual and Christian discourse. We find such re-creation of the small gods throughout Christian history, and throughout this volume: when the Urapmin drive out the motobil by the power of the Holy Spirit, when Andean people frame their propitiation of the yawlu with devotion to the Christian God, when Mami Water appears primarily as a trope of Pentecostal deliverance ministry, when thirteenth-century Frenchwomen see, in an unoffcial Christian saint, their best hope of negotiating the return of their stolen babies from the follets, when the brownie and Robin Goodfellow appear in prayers of protection against them, in assertions of their diabolical status, or in tolerant mention of superstitious old wives who stillbelieve in such “harmless devils,” when cunningwomen insist that they only use “good devils” or that the fairies who facilitate their divination have no fear of the cross, this is because the beings involved have succeeded in taking up a niche within Christian discourse. The “good people” have not departed, have not been driven out by the sound of church-bells or the smell of gasoline. There are no pagan survivals: small gods are Christian creations with which to think the limits of Christianity.”

In essence, Murray’s version of events that describes Paganism as an anti-church, anti-society isn’t backed by any historical evidence.

Sources:

https://tradizioneitaliana.wordpress.com/2020/11/12/medievalismo-religioso-stregheria-wicca-e-storia/

https://medievaleggiando.it/la-legittimazione-storica-della-wicca-margaret-murray-e-la-manipolazione-delle-fonti/

https://medievaleggiando.it/il-vangelo-delle-streghe-e-linizio-della-wicca-il-fascino-di-un-falso-storico/

Michael Ostling. Fairies, Demons, and Nature Spirits: ‘Small Gods’ at the Margins of Christendom. Palgrave Macmillan, 2018.

[bakageta]

for the fic ask meme: 3 & 4 for It's A Hunch and/or We Could Get Better!

3: What's your favorite line of narration? & 4: What's your favorite line of dialogue? for: It's A Hunch

Narration wise I'm torn between Venom's comparison of writing and hunting (because I love that idea and take any chance I get to mention it):

They tried to share how Eddie’s mind felt when he wrote, uncertain how much would get across. How his mind was smooth and focused, comfortable to exist alongside even if they did not participate. And how if Venom joined in, even if all they did was watch, writing was just like hunting. Stalking phrases like prey and pouncing on a sought-after word with just the right connotation sent the same signals through Eddie’s mind as hunting down seals in the bay or chasing down bad guys. The satisfaction of a completed article was like sinking teeth into fresh meat.

And my description of the three abstract art pieces, especially the last one, 'Frozen Ghosts, Black Hole':

It was a more normal piece--canvas bound to a frame--than the free hanging fabric, but only in form. It was a five foot square painted mostly in a warm peach. In the canvas’ center was a black circle, washed over with the peach color--except for an odd, off-center speck of black paint--to the point that the circle’s edges were crisp but not sharp. The bottom corners of the painting had also been painted black and then washed over in peach, as well, forming triangles whose tips met in the middle of the bottom frame and reached halfway up either side.

“Is it just shapes?” Eddie shifted on his feet so that the gallery's lights played off the artwork’s surface.

No, look, Venom leaned Eddie further to one side. The lights revealed more hidden shapes, only visible at certain angles. The top two corners also formed triangles--though they were marked out with the texture of heavy brush strokes instead of color--and their borders marked out the edges of a square standing on its point around the center circle.

“Huh…” Eddie leaned to the other side, watching as the lights played over the canvas. “There’s more circles too.” In the top left and bottom right, each a barely visible blur in the peach wash paint. They only stood out from the correct angle, their texture stark in the right light.

And a hole, in the middle one. What Eddie had assumed to be a stray drop of paint was actually a hole poked through the canvas and into the shadows between the art and the wall it hung on.

I was very concerned that the descriptions would get repetitive and boring, but at the same time I wanted to give a decent description for anyone how didn't want to click through to the artwork or who didn't notice the embedded links. I'm very proud of how all three descriptions came out!

As for dialogue:

“S’hard to have a bad time when you’re having such a good time.” Eddie admitted as they walked up the pier’s wooden steps.

It's not much, but my favorite part of them seeing movies was the idea that even if Eddie didn't enjoy a particular film himself he could enjoy Venom's enjoyment of it.

And: We Could Get Better

I did a lot of playing around in the narration, but right now--after re-reading it--I love the description of V struggling to puppet Eddie to bed, flopping him onto it faced down, and then having to turn his head and pull his feet onto the mattress because Eddie can't relax otherwise:

Eddie’s arms prop his body up under their guidance and with an awkward shift they tense the dozens of thin muscles and ligaments along his spine before staggering to Eddie’s feet. The walk to Eddie’s bed is an awkward one, they nearly fall three times, and they’re glad Eddie lives in a studio apartment so they don’t have to attempt to deal with door knobs. They tip themselves over face first onto the bed and try to sink back into their bond. When they can’t they huff and turn Eddie’s head so he’s not face down in a pillow and, at some base urging, pull Eddie’s feet entirely up onto the bed.

I also played around with the dialogue in this fic, and I think I like V watching Eddie's mind boot up the morning after they re-establish the bond best of all. V just hearing Eddie's own mental narration crystal clear while he tries to figure out why he went to sleep in his jeans.

Phone. Eddie thinks and then fumbles for the device on his nightstand before realizing that it’s still in the pocket of the jeans he’s still wearing. The hell? Why’m I dressed in bed? He rolls over and fishes his phone out.

4:27, what the fuck? He thinks and trails off into the mental equivalent of a progress bar filling up.

They realize that Eddie hasn’t noticed the bond yet, shaking off the dregs of dreamless sleep and dealing with the confusion of waking up clothed in his bed. All the thoughts are undirected but they hear them cleanly as if Eddie was focused only on them.

Somethin’s up…

[pemfrost]

For the prompt, maybe a fake dating au with dimiclaude? Like academy-era Dimitri decided to go asks girl out (sylvain c/b support ) and when things go out of hand- instead of going to sylvain for help, he went to Claude who suggested fake dating - but when announcing it to the girl; it turns out the entire academy finds out...leading to the king regent (who sends Rodrigue) and Grandpa Riegan to actually sign a marriage arrangement. 🥺❤️

And honestly Edelgard is confused about the development that she doesn’t declare war since the two nations are gonna team up -so golden ending jk

♡ cute idea! The meat of this drabble went a little long, so no specific mention of the royal consequences.

"You did what?" Claude actually had the audacity to laugh. Not one of his usual calculated laughs, either. A bellow of a laugh which shook his whole lithe frame and put an extra shine in his eyes. All at Dimitri's expense, of course. It seemed to be happening a lot lately. 

"Never mind. Clearly this is not a matter you are capable of taking seriously." Dimitri turned to leave, but quickly remembered his predicament. On Sylvain's insistence, he approached a female student with the offer of a tea date. Nothing untoward, but it seemed the poor girl thought it to be more than what Dimitri meant it to be. It really was his own fault for taking Sylvian's advice, afterall. 

Of course, Sylvain initially offered to help Dimitri hide in his room, and Dimitri had been naive enough to think it would end then and there. Yet, there he was, two days later with the same girl chasing him and Sylvain was… preoccupied doing the very thing he promised Dimitri he would stop. 

Claude's room seemed the next logical escape plan. It was merely the convenience of location. Felix was still at the training yards, and even if he was in his room, Dimitri would rather face the advances of Colleen and her friends than be stuck in close quarters with Felix and his sharp tongue. The next closest room was Claude's.

Dimitri was quickly regretting his hasty choice of hiding spots. He was regretting a lot of things. 

"I'm sorry for laughing, but you have to admit it is funny." Claude sat down on the edge of his bed and motioned to his desk chair, "You're welcome to hide as long as you need to. Though, perhaps it is best to just confront the whole thing head on and clear it all up?"

Dimitri eyed the chair and considered a moment before sitting. "I have attempted to be direct, yet my efforts are constantly misconstrued."

"You're too nice," Claude said, his gaze intense. 

"Too… nice?" Dimitri raised an eyebrow. It was not an accusation often leveled at him. 

"I've witnessed some of your conversations with girls and you have a tendency to, well, be too nice." Claude broke eye contact and looked towards the door. "You do not wish to hurt their feelings, so you phrase your rejections so delicately the girls do not take it as one."

"Oh?" Dimitri was unaware of this shortcoming. 

Claude sighed and made a vague gesture at the door as a girl giggled out in the hallway. He turned back to Dimitri and said, with air quotes, "There is such love in the world, yet my heart is yet-"

"-I get it.'

"Your beauty is unmatched, and one day you will make the most beautiful bride-"

"Claude," Dimitri hissed. He could feel his cheeks begin to warm. 

Of course, Claude continued, his grin spreading as Dimitri shifted uncomfortably. "My heart is heavy at the prospect of you no longer being at my side, and your smile will-"

"Enough!" Dimitri stood quickly and his booming voice drowned out the sound of the chair hitting the floor. 

"Colleen!" A girl's voice came from the hallway. 

"Oooo, you did it now!" Claude clasped his hands behind his head and looked at the door with far too much amusement. 

Dimitri stared at the door with trepidation, debating the merits of crawling out Claude's window. He could hear the clicking of multiple pairs of heels, his time was quickly running out. Returning his voice to a whisper, he turned to Claude and asked, "What do I do?"

"Be blunt and tell her you are not interested." 

"I… can you do it for me?" Even facing certain doom, he didn't know how to break up with the poor girl without making it worse. Again. 

Claude rolled his eyes. "Riiight, because that will work."

There was a sharp knock at the door, followed by a croon of, "Dimiiiitri! Are you in there?"

"Colleen, it may have been this one instead!"

Dimitri backed away from the door and again wondered if he could fit through the window. He looked helplessly to Claude. He had no experience in such matters, certainly Claude had an idea. 

"Do you trust me?" Claude stood from the bed and stared into his eyes. "I have half an idea, but I need you to-"

"Yes. Whatever your scheme is, yes." Dimitri may regret it later, but in the moment his only option was to trust Claude and deal with the consequences later. It couldn't be worse than entertaining the vapid noble girl one more time. 

Claude stared into Dimitri's eyes a moment more, his green eyes more serious than Dimitri had ever seen this close. Before he could contemplate Claude further, the look shifted, once again full of mirth. 

"Quietly unlock the door." Claude nodded to the door and crossed his arms. 

"I-" Dimitri swallowed and did as he was asked. Quietly, he stepped over the overturned chair and flicked the lock. He braced for the next step, it wouldn't surprise him if Claude shouted his location as revenge for all of this. He needed to stop spending so much time with Sylvain. 

When he looked back, Claude wordlessly motioned him back to him with the wave of a single finger. Once again, Dimitri stepped over the chair and stood in front of Claude, intently listening to the commotion in the hallway. 

Nothing happened for a few breaths, and just a Dimitri was about to ask what the plan was, Claude took half a step towards him. 

"Oh! Dimitri!" Claude projected his voice, not taking his eyes off Dimitri.  

Well, maybe he shouldn't have expected more from Claude. His initial assessment was correct after all. He sighed, resigned to his fate. 

The click of heels returned, and as they approached the door Claude reached for the front of Dimitri's shirt and slowly tugged at him as he took a step backwards. The movement was unexpected and Dimitri stumbled forward, tripping over Claude, and sending them falling to Claude's bed. 

Dimitri caught his knee on the edge of the mattress as Claude landed on his elbows. 

"Claude? Wha-" 

The creak of the door handle turning cut him off. As the door opened, Claude reached back up with one hand and pulled Dimitri closer, and closer, until they were breathing the same air. Everything else faded, all that existed was Claude; his breath smelled faintly of chamomile, and this close Dimitri could count the faint freckles under his eyes.

"Dimit- ah!" Colleen's screech broke the spell Claude cast over him. 

Dimitri pushed himself away from Claude and looked towards the door in time to see Colleen running out. 

"Uh…" Dimitri said to the empty doorway. He looked down to Claude, "What just happened?"

Claude dropped his hand from where he still held Dimitri, letting it fall to his side. "I wasn't expecting her to run so soon. The plan was to make her think we're together- but she didn't stay for me to tell her that. Hopefully she understood."

He didn't want to end up in another relationship just to get out of the first one. That was a terrible plan, and he was about to tell Claude as such when the boy in question began to laugh. Dimitri became abruptly aware of how close they still were as Claude's body shook with laughter. 

Dimitri stood as quickly as his trembling legs permitted. 

"I'm sorry, but your face!" Claude smirked up at him, still laying on the bed. "I didn't mean date for real," he added with a whisper, mindful of the open door. 

"Oh, I see…" Dimitri did not see. 

"It's a farce. A lie. And once she leaves you alone we don't need to pretend anymore."

"She saw… us. In that compromising position. I am free then? Thank you." Dimitri slowly pieced his words together. 

Claude hummed and finally sat up. "It may not be that simple. Be prepared in case she doubles down tomorrow."

Dimitri nodded and cleared his throat. His eyes trailed towards Claude's lips briefly before he turned to pick up the fallen chair.  "Hopefully I will not require more assistance. Thank you for your efforts, this farce was not something I would have considered."

With a shrug, Claude stood. "Always happy to help. Good luck with-" They both froze as the sound of heels returned. 

Dimitri turned to Claude, eyes wide, unsure what to do. His hope of being done with Colleen dashed with the click of a heel. 

"Still trust me?"

Dimitri nodded. 

"I'm going to kiss you." Claude stepped up to Dimitri and gently placed a hand on his cheek. As the girls stepped into the doorway, he leaned up to press his lips to Dimitri's. 

In the few seconds he had to contemplate kissing Claude, Dimitri imagined it would be rough, quick- awkward. It was none of them, and he found himself leaning into the kiss, moving his lips against Claude's like his very soul depended on them never separating. He thought he finally understood Sylvain a little, the desire to experience this everyday, to have someone so close, so intimate, to feel wanted-

But it wasn't real. Claude wasn't kissing him because he wanted Dimitri, he was doing it as a friend, as a favor. Not because he actually desired him in such a way.

"By the Goddess! It is true!" Hilda's sweet voice broke through the moment. 

Claude dropped his hand and turned to the door, breaking the kiss. Dimitri could feel the lingering heat on his cheek from Claude's calloused hand, and he let his eyes dart to his lips before reality caught up with him and he looked towards their audience.  

In the open doorway stood three of their classmates. Hilda was in the middle, looking like she was solving an advanced math problem. To her right was Caspar, who was more focused on Hilda than Claude and Dimitri. And to her left was Sylvain who was sporting black eye and looking between the two of them with a widening smile. 

Sylvain reached around Hilda and closed the door with a wink and an amused, "Have fun, you two!"

Dimitri stared at the door as he listened to them walk away. "Should we tell them?"

"Tell them what?"

"That it isn't what they think? Because otherwise this lie will spread around the whole school."

"Oh, Dimitri. It already has. If Colleen hasn't ran all the way through the monastery by now I'd be surprised." He looked everywhere but Dimitri. 

"If we tell them the truth, then she'll find out… and I'll be right back to square one." Dimitri frowned and began to pace. 

"I don't mind keeping the charade up. It will keep Hilda off my back about dating someone, too. We'd both be free of the burden of that aspect of social expectations."

"That-" Dimitri's eyes darted to Claude's lips. 

"No pressure, man. Wouldn't want His Highness to be uncomfortable, afterall." 

Dimitri couldn’t think of a good reason not to go along with Claude's plan. He was sure the consequences would find him, they always did, but he found he didn't care what they were. 

He nodded, then realized Claude turned to look out the window while he was thinking. "Yes, I believe this could be mutually beneficial."

Claude dropped back to his bed and picked up the book he tossed aside when Dimitri barged into his room. "Great. Hang out in here for a while to sell it. Want to borrow a book?"

Dimitri settled next to Claude on the bed, "If we are to actually… do this, we should get our story together. I am sure we will be inundated with questions tomorrow."

Claude shut his book. "And he I was worried you wouldn't take this seriously. Alright, let's plan."

-

Thanks for reading!

[bunchamemes]

FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE | STARTERS contains spoilers! send a prompt or send ✉ for a random starter. triggers apply.

the future isn’t set in stone. that’s what i always tell myself.

i’m sick of this! i’m sick of all of this!

it’s pretty old. be careful.

hold on to this. this anger. okay?

don’t worry. you’ll feel much better in the morning.

it’s okay, (name), it’s okay.

promise you’ll come and save me.  

got all the time in the world. 

don’t play dumb with me.

the thing is, this place isn’t safe now. i’m gonna take you somewhere safer, okay?

just try to hang on.

even if we’re not actually related, we’re still a family. a real family, in all the ways that matter.

almost there, (name). we’re almost there.

like they say. the only one who’ll look out for you is you.

now turn that thing off and let’s get you to bed, huh?

every day i went, to wait and to pray.

you owe me a pizza.

i’m sorry, honey. i wish i didn’t have to. i wish i could be with you all the time, i really do.

did you have a bad dream?

another day, another struggle. climbing stairs is so much trouble. 

your friend fought a house?

today’s your unlucky day, ‘cause i never miss.

we’re cool. everything’s cool. 

there is no room for sentiment or guilt.

what’s that weird, sweet smell? and why do i feel so dizzy?

mister first class. first class asshole!

everyone on tv’s talking about it.

c’mon. aren’t you worried what might happen in there?

i’ve fought scarier things in my sleep.

that’s what heroes do. they save people.

‘’monster burger‘’? they use monster meat!?

about that. we should talk. outside. 

i miss it. the steel sky.

you’ll come back, right?

goddamn you! goddamn you all!

what the – you okay, buddy?

you should head back to seventh heaven, meet up with the gang.

band’s back together.

it’s stupid. i know that crying’s a waste of time.

for real, though, we need to talk victory poses. 

promise me. don’t let it be for nothing.

i sometimes have to do bad things.

some believe the promised land to be a myth. others, an allegory of sorts.

i’ll march through the streets singing your praises – even on an empty stomach.

if you’re about to unburden yourself, don’t. 

a whole lot of normal people with families and friends work for shinra. people just trying to support their loved ones as best they can. i know it’s not exactly a revelation, but it’s easy to forget.

you made it. though, i might not.

okay. and then we kill the son of a bitch.

it was a lot to deal with, but we were happy.

the news is just another shinra mouthpiece.

you hear that suit? shinra creed my ass. 

is it our destiny to defy destiny? it’s an interesting question.

been thinking. was all that necessary?

i know i need to let go, but i can’t. i need closure, ‘cause without it, i’ll never be able to move on. 

always happy to help stick it to shinra.

but through suffering, you will grow strong. isn’t that what you want?

i’ll be fine. you’ve seen how much ass i can kick. 

even when you’re all alone, don’t you hear voices whispering secrets?

careful now. that which lies ahead does not yet exist.

i know we have to think big if we’re going to make a difference, but not like this.

oh, jeez, (name), if you could see the look on your face...

it’s a miracle you’ve managed to stay alive this long.

what, you some kind of purist? 

it was us. we did this. 

mako’s the essence of life itself. of memory and hope.

just like you. so suck it up, ‘cause i’m not leaving.

okay. now i’m mad.

the hell kind of ‘’research‘’ is this.

once the lights come on, it’s go time.

yeah, have you heard the phrase ‘’living hand to mouth‘’? 

gotta do my part to clear the path before you steal the show.

get your ass behind cover! now!

this place is scary in a lot of ways.

this had better not get in the way of our plans.

crazy-ass thing made me wanna puke. and not just ‘cause of the presentation, but the content too.

go in through the back door when the coast is clear.

got your lethal force right here, asshole! 

it’s a shame you won’t get to try the midgar special. you would’ve really liked it.

find something you enjoy and stick with it. put your heart and soul into getting better. it’s as simple as that.

with your help, we won’t need luck.

they took everything from us. again.

so i got an idea. frontal assault. guns blazing. make for a good story.

you wanna explain yourself, partner?

[docholligay]

Chinese Food in The American West

One of the things I frequently come across as a student of the American West* is that people get most of their information from movies and TV and then act like they know things. Wyatt Earp was not a Lawful Good champion who always did his level best even when it was hard to know. (You want Seth Bullock or Bass Reeves). Racism was far more complicated than white vs not white (I’ve talked about this EXTENSIVELY in Strange Empire, so I’m not going to bore you here**). 

And they didn’t just eat steak. In fact, they rarely ate steak. 

Steak as cowboy food isn’t INACCURATE, but it is MODERN. From about the early 1900s on, you had less and less drives and more and more ranchers who were staying put, with less and less hands needed, and so food was grabbed less “on the go.” Cows could be slaughtered and used to feed the family, allowing for more opportunities for things like steak, yes, but also things like chili, a play on sauerbraten, southern-style biscuits. The cattle drives were a real blend of culture and race, and a lot of what we have left as “Western food” owes a great deal to that. 

And if we leave the cattle drives and head into the towns of the American West, as we will today, we find things like oysters, pies, and various things like that. Far more well-heeled than the general expectation. 

I mean, here’s the menu from the Occidental Saloon circa the late 1880s:

Soups

Chicken Giblet and Consumme, with Egg

Fish

Columbia River Salmon, au Beurre Noir

Relieves

Filet a Boeuf, a la Financier

Leg of Lamb, Sauce, Oysters

Cold Meats

Loin of Beef, Loin of Ham, Loin of Pork, Westphalia Ham, Corned Beef, Imported Lunches

Boiled Meats

Leg of Mutton, Ribs of Beef, Corned Beef and Cabbage, Russian River Bacon

Entrees

Pinons a Poulett, aux Champignons

Cream Fricasse of Chicken, Asparagus Points

Lapine Domestique, a la Matire d'Hote

Casserole d'Ritz aux Oeufs, a la Chinoise

Ducks of Mutton, Braze, with Chipoluta Ragout

California Fresh Peach, a la Conde

Roasts

Loin of Beef, Loin of Mutton, Leg of Pork

Apple Sauce, Suckling Pig, with Jelly, Chicken Stuffed Veal

Pastry

Peach, Apple, Plum, and Custard Pies

English Plum Pudding, Hard Sauce, Lemon Flavor

This dinner will be served for 50 cents.

-I got this from the book “Saloons of the Old West” by Erdoes

But none of that is precisely why I’m here, I just can’t stop myself from talking about this, why I’m here is that one of the things I say that often surprises people, is that Chinese food was incredibly common for the, well, common man to eat. There’s very much a conception that we as a non-Chinese American  people did not start eating Chinese food until the 40s and 50s, and its truer that it took longer to catch on in the American East than the West simply as a matter of proximity and choice. 

Not MORE choice but LESS. Part of what made the West so unique, historically, is that the lack of choice and the basic scarcity caused people to work with and patronize people that their general prejudices would have kept them from using back east, because they had CHOICES. But out in the west, less so. There were few choices for a quick, cheap meal on the go. That dinner I just posted above is a lavish affair, and a great deal at approximately $20.00 in today’s money. (Which does not allow for the fact that cost of supplies has gone up and this dinner would most likely be offered for no less than 70 or so today.) 

People desperately wanted something that was cheap and quick, and the other options in the American West were few, far between, and not intensely pleasing. No one had really come up with the sandwich shop as of yet, and in any case, fresh meats and cheeses would have been too difficult for the low-cost supplier. 

ENTER THE CHINESE POPULATION.

If you have read my Strange Empire blogs, I hope you know that Chinese people were a huge presence in the American West, mostly working for the railroad and various mines, but also doing things like laundry, work that was extremely hard but took little in the way of English speaking. They existed in Chinatowns, for a combination of cultural and legal factors, but it’s a misconception that non-Chinese*** people never went to Chinatown. 

People are not new, and it was not unusual for non-Chinese people to use the laundries, tailoring, and other services of Chinatowns while suppressing the rights of Chinese people int he same breath. There were always individual Chinese people any given non-Chinese person liked and did business with. 

In time, they discovered the inherent wisdom of the noodle bowl. 

I don’t mean to suggest that all these early restaurants served was noodle bowls, but that was where it all started. Remember, Italian food had little prominence in America at the this time, as Italian immigration didn’t really get into full swing until the 1870s in America. While there are noodle traditions half of everywhere, and there is nothing new under the sun, what we today would consider a stir-fry bowl was wildly new to most of the non-Chinese folks in the West. That it could be offered up so cheaply, was so filling, and so delicious (more on this later) was a wild revelation. Everyone from simple cowboys (which, fun fact! Was a slur back then!) to mayors were swinging by Chinatowns to try the dishes. 

By the 1920s, chop suey, a fully Chinese American invention derived from the words for “various leftovers” was a hugely popular American food among all sorts. 

Doc, you may ask, was it just that these folks coming through to get medicines or laundry were SO adventurous? Not at all! Chinese restaurants back then actually, in a very short amount of time, realized that their non-Chinese townsfolk were an excellent way to make money as well, and began to adapt and change dishes to better fit the Western palate, leading what we call American Chinese Food today, which is a legitimate foodway I will defend to my death. Unfortunately, none of these menus survive today--the only ones we have are from places in San Francisco, places that were much more posh, and not the subject of this essay. 

There is a scene in Tombstone where Wyatt and his brothers are eating Chinese food, and it’s one of the things people often ask me about, assuming it’s anachronistic. Actually, it isn’t at all--the anachronism is that there’s broccoli in those noodle bowls, which had not yet hit our shores by the time of the OK Corral. Chinese food was a huge hit, Chinese restaurants were doing extremely well, and some Chinese restaurants were even beginning to attempt to print menus in English, with sit down areas, instead of serving simple fare from food carts. 

As the food from these “chow chow houses” grew in popularity, as we can infer from the advertisements of their competitors promising free potatoes with every meal, and other such niceties to entice, there was, as ever there must be, blowback. Anti-Chinese sentiment grew to a fever pitch, and with this came overt pressure for ‘Good Americans” to patronize ‘American restaurants’. The social pressure is actually where we get some of that old racist jargon about Chinese people serving dogs and cats, which people often think was spread by competitors to degrade the Chinese restaurants, which isn’t UNTRUE, but was just as often said sheepishly by someone who couldn’t stop themselves from going and grabbing a noodle bowl or even the American dishes they offered, such as roast chicken or pork chop sandwiches. 

(I won’t comment with anything but an eyeroll on the bullshit of people saying they’re ~allergic to MSG~ okay I’ll believe you when you stop eating processed food, meat, aged cheese) 

It actually kept this type of reputation as being slightly scandalous well into the early 1900s, as being something you ate after the bar, something to be had in the shadows, but it was all for naught, because Chinese food became an important part of American identity. But for all that, no one ever pictures the Lone Ranger chowing down (the American phrase ‘chow’ for food actually comes from these ‘chow chow houses’) on some chop suey, but there’s every reason to believe he would have. American Chinese food is just as American as the Germanically-influenced hamburger. 

(There’s a whole subtopic to go down about Jewish and Chinese communities and Kosher Chinese Food, two marginalized and othered communities coming together, but that’s a WHOLE other topic) 

(Also someone please buy me Chinese food. This shit always makes me so hungry.) 

*The American West is a specific time period, as far as the study of history goes. It covers the period between the end of the Civil War and the New Century, generally, and is, obviously, concerned with the western half of the country. It doesn’t cover stuff like Lewis and Clark (that’s Expansion) or even the Civil War itself, though you cannot possibly hope to study the American West in any level of seriousness without understanding the Civil War. Anyway! I know a lot about America between 1865 and 1900, and am just knowledgeable enough to be dangerous on everything else. Most History nerds are highly specified like this. We’re not as much help to your trivia team as you think.****

**I actually have had little chance to talk about ~European-style xenophobia~ as it played out in the west, because Strange Empire takes a more modern pass at it. But there was a hierarchy of “whiteness” as well, as still largely exists in Europe, land of intentionally clean ethnostates. 

***I use the term “non-Chinese” instead of white because believe it or not, non-white people were not magically free of racism against Chinese people. It was horrific and BASICALLY every non-Chinese person was guilty of it to some level, a wild-ass level of hatred that led to Chinese folks not being able to PURCHASE PROPERTY BY LAW in ENTIRE STATES. Being Chinese or Native in this place and time was your Worst Bet. 

****I actually was on a competitive trivia team, you DO want me.

[five-rivers]

Interview with a Ghost (part 4: Strange)

Sort of a tenuous connection to the prompt.  Oh, well.  

(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3)

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They had asked the Fenton parents for an interview with Daniel Fenton to ask him about things he might have seen at school. They had agreed, heartily, but had insisted on staying because 'the kids are a little biased towards Phantom, teens, you know,' and they wanted to keep the record straight.

The other two children had, with extreme reluctance, gone home. His sister, however, had refused to leave, saying that she knew just as much about things at the school as Danny, and they might as well question her at the same time. Collins couldn't really argue with that, and he had elbowed Paterson when she tried.

Daniel looked very small and meek against the large armchair he was perched on. Nothing at all like Phantom, who projected personality and confidence even when nervous.

Collins could see how he had gotten away with... whatever he had gotten away with... for so long. He still wasn't entirely convinced that Fenton was Phantom. It seemed pretty incredible, and there wasn't any physical evidence. Especially with the body gone.

Paterson took out a pad of paper and a recorder. "Do you mind if I record this?" she asked. "For record keeping purposes."

"Not at all!" said Jack, grinning. "We're glad to be of help!"

Daniel looked at the recorder as if he thought he'd be ill. He looked pale. Almost green. Was that because he was a ghost, or was he really just that nervous?

"Alright," said Collins. "Do you see Phantom around Casper High?"

"Not really," said Daniel.

"Everyone does," said Jasmine.

The siblings glanced at each other.

"I try to stay away from the ghost fights," said Daniel, shrugging.

"Yes. Your classmates seem to think that you have some kind of sixth sense, as you always leave class right before an attack."

Daniel's eyebrows pinched together in genuine confusion. "They think what?" He shook his head. "I just leave when I need to go," he said.

Paterson looked up from her notepad. "Go as in...?"

"You know, go," said Daniel, a blush dusting his features with pink.

"I see," said Paterson. Daniel blushed harder.

"Have you ever spoken to Phantom?" asked Collins.

"Yes," said Jasmine, crisply, to murmurs of disapproval from her parents. "He saved me from from Spectra. The ghost who masqueraded as a psychologist."

"I remember that," said Paterson. "Old Elroy had that case." It was from before the existence of ghosts had been widely accepted, even in Amity Park. "You were one of her victims?"

"I'm the one she tried to blow up."

"Ah," said Collins. "And what did you talk about?"

"With Spectra?"

"With Phantom."

"Nothing much," said Jasmine. "Not that I remember, anyway. It was over a year ago."

"Try to remember," said Collins.

Jasmine shrugged. "I think it was basically just agreeing that Spectra was terrible."

"Have you had any other interactions with Phantom?"

"None worth mentioning," said Jasmine.

What a strange way to phrase that. Collins decided not to call her on it, yet. Even with Paterson pointedly poking his ankle with her toe.

"Daniel, what about you?"

"It's Danny," the boy corrected. "I've never really talked to him. Unless you want to count things like 'look out!'"

"Nothing about his origins, then?"

"No?" said Danny.

"Have you heard anything about his origins from anywhere else?"

"We already told you about that," interrupted Maddie, frowning. "His origins are unknown, but he's existed for hundreds of years, at a minimum."

"Yes, but we'd like to hear from Danny and Jasmine," said Collins, giving Maddie his best professional smile. He turned back to Danny, expectantly.

"Someone once told me they thought he was a plague doctor, but, like, updated. I don't remember who, though."

"Right," said Collins. "Now, we'd like you to think back to about two years ago. Call it late summer, early fall. Did anything strange happen around that time?"

"Yeah," said Danny. "The Lunch Lady attacked the school for the first time. I don't remember the exact date, but it was right before the meat-vegetable protests."

"It was that early?" asked Collins, surprised. "That's months before the first recorded attack! Are you sure there was a ghost?"

"Pretty sure, yeah," said Danny, crossing his arms.

"Hey! That's about when we saw Phantom for the first time!" exclaimed Jack.

"Is it?" asked Collins.

"Yeah! He stole our prototype Fenton thermos! I still don't understand how he got it working." The last was a grumble.

"Interesting. And did anything strange happen other than that? Anything out of the norm?"

"Well," said Maddie, thoughtful, "we got our portal working about a month before that. Danny did, anyway."

"Did he? How?"

"Knocked a loose wire back into place!" boomed Jack, laughing. "That's my boy."

Danny's face was whey-colored again. Interesting.

Oh, hell. The portal definitely had something to do with all of this, didn't it.

"How does your portal work, exactly, anyway?"

"Excellent question!"

Fifteen minutes later, Collins had no better idea of how their portal worked except that it involved a great deal of ectoplasm and electricity, both of which they had found on the corpse. He couldn't help but think that he had finally discovered how Phantom had died.

And hearing Jack and Maddie, the boy's parents talk about the portal with such obvious pride while Danny squirmed in the armchair, looking for an escape...

"Thank you," said Collins, quickly, while Jack drew a breath. "I think that's all we need for today."

"But-" started Paterson.

"It's really all we need," repeated Collins. He saw Danny relax, marginally. "Just one more thing. Do you know anything about the break in at the city morgue last night?"

Various expressions flicked over the Fentons' faces. Jack's and Maddie's were blank. Danny's was was angry. Jasmine's was, surprisingly, guilty.

Did she steal the body? Collins would have never guessed it. The image she presented was too neat and mannered.

"Was it a ghost?" asked Maddie. "I'm afraid we can't do anything about it, otherwise."

"Right," said Collins. "We'll contact you if that evolves to be the case. And-"

"Oh, I can't take it anymore!" exclaimed Paterson. She pointed at Danny. "Are you Phantom?"

Danny jumped about a foot. "Wh-What? Nooooooooo. No, I'm not Phantom. I'm alive, aren't I?"

Damn. If that wasn't all but a confession.

The other Fentons started to laugh. The adults heartily. Jasmine uneasily.

"You've been listening to what's-his-name, haven't you? The West boy?"

"Weston," corrected Maddie. "No matter how many times we explained things to him..." She sighed. "I think there's something wrong with him, to be honest. But just to assuage your doubts..." She stood up and walked over to Danny. "Danny, do you mind."

"Nope," said Danny, standing up and holding out his wrist.

Maddie beckoned the detectives forward. "Here," she said, "feel this." She tapped her fingers on Danny's wrist.

"Go ahead," said Danny, staring up at him with a mix of apprehension and determination.

Collins put his fingers on Danny's wrist, on his pulse point. Danny's skin was smooth and cool, but not at all corpselike, or what Collins imagined a ghost would feel like.

"I have a pulse," said Danny. "Ghosts don't." Sure enough, Collins' fingers detected a slow but steady thump thump thump.

Maddie nodded. "Their closest equivalent is more of a constant rush. I could explain the science... but you were just leaving."

"Yes. Sorry about that. My partner can be a bit susceptible to conspiracy theories. I had to talk her out of hiring a psychic, once."

"Thank goodness you did," said Maddie, smiling. "Almost all psychics are fake."

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"They don't believe it," said Danny, watching the detectives pull away from the curb below from the window of his room.

"Mom and dad? Of course not," said Jazz. "They won't believe you're Phantom unless you show them outright."

"No, the detectives. They don't believe I'm human. They still think I'm Phantom."

"Danny," said Jazz, cautiously. "Don't do anything rash."

"It isn't like I can make this any worse," said Danny. "I'm going to talk to them."

.

"What was that?" complained Paterson. "I never tried to hire a psychic!"

"Yeah, but you did agree that we wouldn't out Phantom in front of his parents. He said he doesn't want his family to know about him, and I don't want an angry ghost trying to throttle me! He can bench press a bus! I don't want his hands anywhere near my throat." He inhaled deeply and sighed. "At least we know what did him in."

"Do you?" asked a very cold voice.

It was a testament to Collins' steely nerves and rigorous police training that he didn't immediately crash the car upon finding a ghost in the back seat. Paterson nearly threw herself out of the car.

"Hi, Phantom," he said, instead, looking at the young ghost in the rear view mirror. "I don't suppose you know what happened to your body."

The ghost scowled. "It wasn't me. I told you to stop messing with stuff."

"Who, then? Your sister?"

Phantom's scowl deepened to something like rage. "Leave her out of this."

"Oh, god, you really are Fenton," said Paterson.

In her defense, Collins hadn't completely believed it, either.

Varied emotions passed over the ghost's face. "Come on, you don't believe Wes, do you?"

"There's other evidence," said Collins, voice wavering just a little. "I don't know how you're keeping up a pulse, or the rest of your human disguise, but you died in that portal, didn't you?"

Phantom was silent for a moment, then he reached through Paterson's chair and neatly plucked her recorder from her jacket, along with her phone. He tossed the phone into the seat next to him and crushed the recorder. Then he started riffling through Collins' pockets.

"Is that really necessary?" asked Collins. He guided the car to the side of the road and put it into park.

"You made it necessary," said Phantom. He pulled out Collins' phone as well and gave it a once over. "Look," he said. "I'm sort of," he paused, "upset that you guys dug up my body and then freaking lost it."

"Lost it-"

"Fine. Got it stolen from you by one of my enemies. One of my most dangerous enemies. Okay? Happy? Are you starting to understand why I wanted this left alone?"

"Are you trying to say that this isn't about your family not knowing you're dead?" asked Collins.

"Of course it's about that!" exclaimed Phantom. "It's just about half a dozen other things at the same time! You knowing about me could get me killed. Knowing about me could get you killed. The only reason Wes isn't dead is because he's completely ridiculous and no one believes him! You're credible!"

"By that enemy you mentioned?" asked Paterson, having regained some composure.

"Yeah," said Phantom. "He's got an interest in it not getting out."

"Why?" asked Paterson.

"Reasons," said Phantom, stubbornly.

"Does he have the same thing going on as you?"

Phantom crossed his arms and shrugged.

"One second," said Collins, "what do you mean, kill you? You're already dead."

"It's a figure of speech," mumbled Phantom. "Either way, the GIW would be more than happy to cut me open. Do you have any idea what they do to ghosts?"

"You- you're not actually dead, are you?" asked Collins. "Holy-"

"Yes, I am," said Phantom, quickly.

"How did you manage the pulse trick, then?"

"Lots of ghosts can do that. My parents don't know everything."

"You're a terrible liar. How the hell does that work? This- Ghost powers while alive?"

"I am dead," repeated Phantom. "How do you explain the body?"

"Half of it was missing," said Paterson.

Silence.

"I'm begging you to let this go," said Phantom. "People are going to get hurt. I'm going to get hurt."

"You don't think we'd let the GIW have you?" asked Paterson.

"I don't think it's a matter of 'let.' I-" he sighed and buried his face in his hands. "Ugh, I can't believe I made this even worse. What are you going to do?"

"We-" said Collins. Honestly, he had no idea. He looked at Paterson, who shrugged. "It isn't up to us, it's up to the captain."

"You can't tell more people!"

"Then you tell him. Come with us," said Paterson. "It's just one more, and he knows all of our suspicions, anyway." That wasn't completely true.

"If you really wanted to convince us not to, you could tell us more about your terrible enemy who may or may not be like you."

Phantom shook his head. "It's not worth it," he said, floating halfway out of his seat. "I'm going home."

"Wait," said Collins. "Your accident- It really was an accident, wasn't it? Your parents didn't-"

Phantom's face scrunched up. "Of course it was an accident. I was messing around someplace I shouldn't have been because of a dare. Are we done, now? Right up until you decide to ruin what's left of my life, anyway."

"Do you have a cell phone?" asked Paterson. "So we can call you, instead of your parents, if necessary." She offered up her notepad.

Phantom jerked it out of her hands and scrawled something on the paper. "Goodbye," he said, shortly, before flying out of the car.

Paterson swore, loudly.

"Yeah," agreed Collins. "Yeah."