#but i've always loved it
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Written by Russ Ballard
#santana#winning#1981#written by russ ballard#i've always known this song but never really looked into it#but i've always loved it#and didn't know it was a cover#this song was about russ's life#how he felt he was at his lowest but kept going and#he's winning#and he has also won my heart#keith urban did this too and russ said he really likes that version#i haven't heard it yet#some others have done it too
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i'll let phie-san say it:
#the vids i've seen on tiktok picking at her immediately get a block...#bitter otaku sitting in their socks in their mom's basement feeling threatened/enraged by a hot successful black woman outnerding them-core#also this kind of criticism is so demoralising and damaging to people who are trying to learn another language#also. accents are NORMAL and not a bad thing#i don't think that the end goal of picking up a new language necessarily has to be sounding native#and i know sometimes the way japanese people react like SUGOIII? *W* when a foreigner says like one (1) word in japanese is joked about#but like... genuinely... i always love when someone clearly has made an effort and took the time to learn some of the language#anyway she can step on those haters <3#also like. it’s just some lines in a song people need to relax…#megan thee stallion#autoplay warning#japan#japanese#language#mamushi
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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god i wish i wouldn't have to explain the intricacies of the neopets economy to you guys to give the full context for this but. the new neopets team that took over from jumpstart pledged that they were going to curb the inflation of rare items, which is great because a lot of rare items are worth literally hundreds of millions of neopoints, they are unbuyable unless you've been playing actively for 20 years. they did this earlier with a site festival that included random loot boxes, some of which had Unbelievably Fucking Rare And Precious items worth 200 million neopoints apiece.
well.
today they have gone a step further. by releasing this year's trick-or-treat bags. and having the trick-or-treat bags be stuffed to the brim with unbelievably fucking rare stamps, weapons, paint brushes, defense magic, and other unbuyables. (all prohibitively expensive and in-high-demand types of items.)
jellyneo, the premier neopets website, has recorded prices of some items plummeting from 2,000,000 neopoints to 4,000 neopoints IN THE LAST THREE HOURS. this is when most people haven't even heard about the event or OPENED THEIR BAGS YET.
and of course. cherry on top. 20-year-old account holders are crytyping on the site events neoboard about how mean and cruel it is to make rare stamps part of the prize pool, because their entire identity hinges on being part of the neopian bourgeoisie, and they are having MELTDOWNS over their assets being devalued until they're part of the lowly proletariat.
this is a children's game for children btw.
none of the money is real.
i'm having such a good time.
#i paused in opening my bags to write this bc the site's getting so much traffic that it's taking 3 minutes to refresh one page#i've pulled a paint brush a stamp that used to be worth 2 mil (it's not now) and another stamp that's always been cheap.#i have 4 more bags to open still.#i Love It Here.#neopets
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Post-war shenanigans. It's all the same to him
#dkbk#bkdk#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#mha#bnha#i can and will write deku to be a little delusional#'I've literally done everything wrong in my life!!' 'I know this and I've always loved you'#or something
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Ace Week is upon us again, which means it's time for me to share some more silly little critters with you all! (If you like, you can also say hello to their friends from 2021, 2022 and 2023.) ✨Go and be as amazing as always, aces✨
#ace week#ace week 2024#asexual week#aspec week#asexual#ace#art#my art#ace pride#aspec#asexuality#axolotl#axolotl art#ferret#ferret art#asexual spectrum#aspec friendly#asexual awareness week#pride#pride art#queer#queer art#lgbtqia+#lgbtq+#digital illustration#critters are no longer a twice a year thing for me since i started doing requests but i love commemorating this week#and i've been wanting to do an axolotl and ferret for ages; they are such silly little guys#critter series#id in alt text#blanket permission as always for you to use these as PFPs! so long as you credit me then i really don't mind if you use them :)
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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.
#i can't believe i'm saying this#DEADPOOL CAN GET IT#Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him#I would too bestie#it's the sass for me folks#paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god#a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think#this is a branch in realities i know it#i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie#all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME#camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch#i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction#i love how you love deadpool#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here#@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating#do it again#gif is credit to the owner#30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update#damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here#guys just find my other post
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all too familiar
#mdzs#mdzs fanart#mo dao zu shi#lan wangji#lan zhan#wei wuxian#wei ying#wangxian#mxtx#HEYYY HEYYYYY#ok i rly missed them#have this doodle#ngl i've been going thru diff hyperfixations for several months now#but i will always come back to them#wx love#yes i have an ongoing record of drawing yllz and lwj I like it a lot ok#sorry about that it will happen again ^^
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i know everyone else is posting these but i havent seen one of the full image so im posting it so i can say im in love with every single one of them
#splatoon#marina especially but that's because i've always loved marina#and we finally get to see she's got “hair” under her tentacles which makes my character purple's design make more sense in canon YAAAAAY
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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(as always, refs under read more)
#disco elysium#cindy the skull#joyce messier#I can't believe this is the first time I've drawn Cindy#it definitely won't be the last#as always: send me memes and I will redraw them with DE characters#i love drawing Joyce's face#her face is so good#so many good faces in DE
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tone deaf
#this was the original idea i tried to start on before i got sidetracked drawing that very dramatic bunny i posted earlier#i'm watching batman the animated series the textures are so good i've always loved the background art for this show#mmmmm light colored oil pastels 'n' stuff on black paper yum yum very moody and mysterious#art#dc#dc comics#superbat#batman#superman#bruce wayne#clark kent#m1nty fresh hall of fame
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[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post
#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#dick grayson#talia al ghul#batfamily#dc robin#nightwing#anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther#like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it#they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc#but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself#anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did#it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios#also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul#you will always be famous to me#son of the demon origin...bwahhh#anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic#but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up#so go look at that as well#anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy#i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!)#so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!)#when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself#it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on#I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue#i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :]#idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups#so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat#mine
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DEEP💥SPACE💥PLANET💥FUTURE💥GUN💥ACTION❗️
#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#this is ALSO an old doodle that took me more than half a year to get around to coloring. that i ALSO forgot to post here LMAODFJSI#help. i rly went out of my incredibly small comfort zone for this one (background. text graphics. VASH'S COATTAILS)#i almost died like 30 TIMES drawing vash's coat oh my lord.#vash the stampede your swag is impeccable BUT I HATE DRAWING YOUR FREAKING COAT!!!!!!!!#anyways. i've always wanted to yank those ribbons/straps on his back. that is the inspiration here#pls continue to make jokes about him being a designer bag bc i've seen some on ig and twt and i love them thank you
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#gerard way#mcr#my chemical romance#mcredit#life on the murder scene#lotms#gifs*#*#pov: shopping with your gorgeous girlfriend#i had to gif this because i've always loved how they looked here
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the dialogue choices in this game should be more diabolical
#i love akechi but i sometimes i wish you could bully him like no matter which dialogue u pick it sounds like ur flirting back w him#“i'm going to be completely honest with you. i've always hated you” why can't u say smt unserious back#like “sorry i have a snatched waist and correct opinions on everything.” or like “ur loss lmao”#hate playing darts with this bitch bc i play on a steamdeck and i don't have a fucking gyroscope so like#it's trying to replicate how the joycons or pro controller would throw AND ITS SUCKS SO BAD#like i just see akechi get a hat trick every single fucking time with three bulls in a row and meanwhile im struggling to line the thing up#and then after u finish he's like “hmm i see. that's an interesting way to play it” WHAT THE FUCK THERES LITERALLY NO STRATEGY HERE SMARTAS#I JUST MISSED. IM NOT STRATEGIZING. THERES NOTHING “INTERESTING” ABOUT IT.#i hate going to penguin snipers so much i hope i can get this stupid game on switch so i can actually rank up akechi's baton pass#and not waste like 1000 yen every night bc i refuse to not let a party member be on rank 3#akechi fuck yourself why can't we play 501 like we do with everyone else. why do u have to make everything abt this stupid rivalry#im gonna kms i hate akeci and i hate darts#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#goro akechi#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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