#but i'm kinda interested in what people have to say
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bc-jpeg · 2 days ago
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Thoughts on Grumbo?
I would kill for them. I think they might be the biggest hyperfixation ship in my life, I don't remember this level of insanity with any other fandom before.
I guess it’s not that visible from me, because I prefer to keep my socials blogs kinda clean from rebloging stuff*, AND I don’t draw them so often because I have so much projects on me and no time, it’s kinda sad.
honestly, if I had started, there would have been a huge lecture about grumbo, they have had so much going on for several years, and all the details fit so perfectly into an incredibly interesting dynamic that includes not only the interaction between the two of them, but also the essence of each of them, some character traits, daily habits, traumas and etc.
I'm going to say something that really upsets me. the problem of grumbo's non-popularity is very much based on the fact that their ship does not lie on the surface. it’s not as accessible as other popular ships in this fandom, and this is extremely painful, considering what their history really is.
grumbo are built on much bigger things than just silly interactions between characters that you might notice in episodes, even bigger than scripted lore moments on hermitcraft and life series. everything goes from their very first collabs to this day for several years already, and some micro fragments/clips from their videos are simply NOTHING compared to the context of the whole story. and just a disclaimer: I'm talking about the characters here, not about real people, the whole story only falls on their characters.
I often see that people may not understand grumbo’s ship dynamic at all simply because they watch only one pov (mostly grian). in this case, I beg you to watch both povs, you miss a lot if you watch only one person. in general, you can also watch third-party people with them! last life grumbo are also built on martyn's pov, for example.
I am so happy that their story started spinning again at the end of the hc s9 due to mumbo’s return, now in hc s10 + WHATEVER IS GOING ON in life series (especially in life series, because mumbo has NEVER had such possessive moments about grian before).
“forget the cactus ring, the desert i'm stuck in is sahara”
* I often reblog things from @mwapollo because he can put everything into right words MUCH better than me, especially when we discussing it all on a daily basis together, so we literally have the same vision about grumbo. I just really want all of his thoughts to be seen in this fandom. ykw I would turn it into shout-out, GO TO @mwapollo’s blog I DARE you. if you’re a grumbo fan, his blog is my first recommendation to go to.
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arggghhhsstuff · 27 minutes ago
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What kind of things are you seeing on tiktok 💀 it works with an algorithm, it's really worrying that this kind of stuff shows up on your fyp
Once again: I am not justifying pedophilia! I am not justifying rape! I am not saying they are normal or okay or should be happening! Because it's not! I am however playing with my characters like barbie dolls and putting them though horrors because it's kinda interesting sometimes. When it's characters. Not when it's real people.
If you're not mentally ready to read watch or discuss adults themes (which is fine. I for sure as hell wasn't at 13. I was reading fluffy good omens fanfiction and sharing fanarts with my friends. good times) then don't do it. I'm so serious don't put yourself in this situation, it's only causing you harm. Look for something else. There is so much more family friendly content out there, go find something you will enjoy
On the "minors are everywhere" point: this is why tags exist. Like if there is a 'no -18 allowed' sign you know it's not for you. If there is a 'minor dni' blog you know it's not for you. Hell some posts are even tagged as having adults themes in them YOU KNOW IT'S NOT FOR YOU. The Internet is the same for everyone, it's not up to the users to make sure the children are using it safely
We clearly see things differently, I have no business getting yelled at by a stranger online. Proposal: I block you you block me and we never interact ever again
i love being a pro-shipper. it's fun. people will be disgusted by something they think is morally wrong and i'll be like "it's all in your head though"
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badasscoffeemug · 1 day ago
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okay, so, i tried to pull as many interviews as i could to see if i could parse what the original plan for bucktommy was (or if there even was any), and subsequently, if there had been a pivot of any kind. now, we are not privy to any bts talk, and storylines are never set in stone, even from when they've been teased or promoted (henchim friction? hello?) but interviews are really all we have to go off of. so, idk, i compiled some quotes, all bolded emphasis is mine.
i kinda got the impression that it really was supposed to be a 4-episode arc for tommy, after which he would gracefully bow out and leave buck a newly realized single bisexual. for some reason, that changed and they chose to keep him around and extend that storyline (gelled rather well in the story? opening the door for potential future storylines?). except then they had them break up anyway, leaving buck in much the same place he would have been had they called it quits in 7x06, only much more heartbroken (essentially wasting over half a season's worth of buck storyline, except he's sadder now, i guess). but, judge for yourself.
march 28, 2024, TM: Showrunner Tim Minear also teased future episodes for Tommy. “He’s going to be around for a little bit. He’s not going to be a member of the 118 again, but he is going to be involved in some stories.”
april 4, 2024, TM: “I was kind of bored with the hamster wheel of the relationships [Buck] had been in. His story needed a slap. It needed some something fresh. This felt like it could be important to some people, and it felt like it was right for the character.”
OS: “I’ve always had in my head that I wanted a partner for Buck to be someone where it wasn’t easy”
TM: “That’s what I like about this. He’s not siloed off into some love interest story with a character who has nothing to do with the main characters.”
Minear noted that Tommy is currently an important romantic partner for Buck, largely because “it’s sort of the entry-level relationship.” Yet at the same time, he noted that he doesn’t think “anybody’s making wedding plans.”
“It really is a first fling for Buck right now. What that might amount to, only time can tell. But what I’m interested in is not something that’s fraught. I’m interested in something that’s tender and positive”
april 4, 2024, OS: “The focus was on it being important, but also not wanting it to feel like the bravest episode in television. We just wanted to tell a lighthearted love story that happens to be a queer love story.”
april 5, 2024, TM: “[what] I don't want to do is the mistake that I think we've made with some of the other love interests, which is siloing those characters off into their love life and they have no kind of organic connection to the rest of the characters in the story. [...] Going with Tommy allowed us to start to play a story without just inventing a whole new character just for the purpose of being the bi character or the gay character or the male love interest for Buck.”
april 12, 2024, TM: “that moment at the end of the episode where he sits down with Tommy and says, “You said I wasn’t ready. I don’t know what I’m ready for, but I’m ready for something. I’m just sure what that is yet.” But he feels safe with Tommy. So even though he doesn’t know exactly what road he’s stepping onto, he’s willing to roll the dice.”
april 12, 2024, LFJ: "So, it happens in phases. My manager said 9-1-1 called, and I was like, 'Cool.' And then he is like, 'All right, well, they called for an arc.' And I'm like, 'Four episodes? Cool.'
"Given the circumstances, we just kissed. There's something there. We go on a date, and then Eddie happens to show up because there's only one restaurant, I guess, in L.A., and I would totally understand if he was nervous and whatnot." (this quote has nothing to do with my point really i just think it's so fucking funny. this entire interview is so messy.)
"I have no idea," he explained when asked what the future could hold for the duo. "If the writers do choose to extend this storyline and make it into its own thing [...] I'm just as excited as you are to find out."
april 12, 2024, OS: "I just hope he continues down that path and I think we will see him opening up more and more, and being louder and prouder about it. I want to tell real stories where not everything is going to be straightforward, but I don’t want the angst or the trauma to be in these kind of negative troupes that we’ve seen before. I want them to have real world problems that couples or people who are first dating have, but I don’t want it to be rooted in outside people being homophobic or anything like that. Those are stories we have seen and we’ve told, and sure, of course, happen in the real world, but I want to tell a happy story between these people and a real story. They have issues and they have things to deal with, but I just want them to be real world, everyday relationship issues."
april 18, 2024, OS: "we want to tell it in an honest way where not everything is going to be easy and carefree. There are going to be issues, but we also don't want it to feel like it's down or too heavy. We want to tell this queer love story in a very honest way, but also in a very loving way."
"Tarlos is a beautiful relationship," Stark says. "I'm just honored to get to tell a story that can kind of partner up with that and maybe continue with a similar thread."
"I really want to see Buck continue to explore what it is that really speaks to him, and what he's into," Stark says. "He's obviously going to continue down this path with Tommy for now. I don't know what that story is going to end up being, but I would really like for Tommy to stay a part of Buck's life, regardless. He's obviously opened this door for him, and I think it would be really nice if [Tommy] was able to continue to hold [Buck's] hand and could help guide him through this process. As somebody who's a little older and more experienced, to kind of help shepherd Buck into this new phase of understanding who he is."
april 23, 2024, OS: “I really enjoy [Lou]. I really enjoy working with him. I think he’s been a great addition to the show, and I look forward to — assuming Tommy sticks around for a while — continuing to develop that relationship with him on-screen and off-screen.”
may 2, 2024, JLH: "I’m really excited for Buck, because I think he’s a person that has never quite settled into who he is. And if this is who he is, it’s beautiful,” Hewitt said. “I was so happy Maddie felt that way, because that’s how I would feel. And I’m really happy that she’s there for him. In Season 8, the actor hopes Maddie gets to “understand what all that means, be in that with [Buck], and get to know Tommy better.”
may 3, 2024, KC: “I think it was the brilliance of [co-creator] Tim [Minear]. Even introducing the storyline of Buck and Tommy, he said, "I don't want it to be this very special episode of 9-1-1. I'm going to make this a f---ing romantic comedy, man. You won't see it coming. It'll come out of left field." And I think that's the same thing he did with the revelation. There's no sit down, there's no big discussion or talk about it. It's what it would be. This guy has found love fina…. Well, I think love finally.”
may 3, 2024, KC: "When I heard about the storyline, I was super excited. And on a selfish note, I'm really happy because they brought Lou Ferrigno Jr. back. We've become really good friends, as he was in "Hen Begins," "Bobby Begins Again," and of course "Chimney Begins," and we formed a tight personal bond. I think he's a terrific actor, and I think this new dynamic brings this newfound energy into that storyline and into the show, and I'm excited to see how it blossoms."
not dated? post-7x06, KC: “It’s one of my favorite scenes,” Choi says. “It’s a reveal for most of the characters that Buck has found a love interest he’s actually interested in. It’s adorable, it’s cute, it’s perfect, and the audience is going to love it.”
OS: Stark likens Buck’s journey to “a hamster wheel”: “He’s been taking one step forward and two steps back, as is quite typical of being in your late 20s and early 30s, trying to find yourself,” the actor explains. “As we’ve moved into this seventh season, he’s found a way to really discover who he wants to be.”
july 8, 2024: 7x09 deleted scene released
september 9, 2024, TM: “They’re still getting to know each other a little better”
september 11, 2024, TM: Minear says not much time has passed between the events of the season 7 finale and the season 8 premiere, so there haven't been many developments in Buck and Tommy's relationship. "But we see that they're more comfortable together," he explains. "We'd definitely call them a couple. Obviously they're comfortable hanging out with Eddie, but when you couple with somebody, it takes up some of your time, so that also leaves Eddie a little bit out in the cold. Well, not out in the cold, but Buck doesn't have as much free time as he did before, let's put it that way." (yeah so, this barely happened?)
september 20, 2024, OS: “We don’t really have too much of a time jump moving into this season, so the relationship with Tommy is much where it was left off,” explains Stark. “It is in its early stages. They’re still learning and figuring things out about each other and what a relationship might or could look like.”
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raconteur-wanpi · 2 days ago
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One Piece 1131
It's finally here after the 2 week break!
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I'm glad we begin right where we left off, with Luffy and Loki finally having a proper interaction! This instantly made me laugh, Luffy is a certified yapper. His true power really is responding to the most serious and broody of intimidating figures with his silly guy ADHD and making fools out of these try-hards by annoying them. He really is a walking cartoon! I just knew in my heart, turning the page, Loki would cut him off by telling him to shut-up already. This is a classic bit and I live for it.
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This also instantly kinda makes Loki more fun of a character to me lmao. Being presented with a scary guy only to immediately kinda make fun of him is Oda's expertise. Nobody is immune to being laughed at a bit, and it does instantly make Loki more charming.
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He soon confirms what fans have been theorizing since Water 7; that the Yggdrasil-style-tree that encompasses Elbaf is the Treasure Tree Adam! Nice to finally know for sure, it'll be interesting for the Sunny in a sense to have returned to its "birthplace".
Also interesting how he introduces himself as the "pride of Elbaf's strength" when in the last chapter we learn of him as the "shame of Elbaf". Is it his own ego? Trying to twist the way his people see him? Is this him being a liar similar to Usopp, exaggerating who he is? Or is it his own delusions? It's an interesting contrast, I wonder what the language used here is in the original Japanese.
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Loki is also, well... extremely Luffy-like in some ways actually. Being introduced as a "sun god", getting new people's names wrong, and as we'll see later, befriending wild beastly animals... This is an extremely interesting parallel. It seems to me they're already sides of the same coin, and I am soooo intrigued by it going forward.
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It seems Loki has really met his match, and I doubt he expected someone like that to show up. Luffy responds to the beasts with nostalgia instead of fear, I wonder how that make the "accursed prince" feel...
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Interestingly enough, Loki seems to have a sort of cult or following of human-sized people dedicated to him! They call him master and listen to his commands... maybe they're people who really see him as the Sun God?
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Luffy immediately tames the beasts, like he did back during the timeskip! Of course, once he hears Loki insulting Shanks, his good mood seems to go away.
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Loki also pulls a "I'm just joking bro, I'm just a silly guy c'moooon, you wouldn't punch a guy tied to a tree would ya? A birthday boy?" when he realized Luffy is actually pretty powerful. Good 'ol Schrodinger's douchebag. He does showcase a lot of duality, acting all mighty and smug towards "puny humans", but then his facade breaks a few times, he twists his reputation and claims he's just joking etc, it does fit the idea of a "trickster" a lot, considering his mythological basis. I'm still struggling to grasp his true personality and goals, and while he does speak the way you'd a expect a villain would... he kind of doesn't feel like he's going to be the main obstacle of the arc to me, and I can't truly explain why.
He also, interestingly, seems to have a negative bounty!? If I read that right, at least. Perhaps the government's way of saying "we don't want him, if you bring him in YOU'LL have to pay us to deal with him" or something??? We'll see if it's indeed a minus or not, it is described as a "special bounty".
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Back to the Strawhats on the bridge, Gerd, Goldberg and Rodo seem to be rushing out with the Sunny as fast as possible. I'm assuming they're trying to get to where Harjudin is and explain the situation to him, considering that the ship belongs to their crew's grand fleet commanders. These two are probably mad as hell at Rodo lol. I can't tell if they're chasing him angrily here or what, haha.
Despite Usopp's insistence (and him being correct as always) the group still decides to run away from these giants. Oh Usopp, if only they listened to you, this debacle would be over much quicker. As per usual.
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Speaking of Harjudin (and the one missing member of his crew, Stansen), here they are! They're in the same area actually, going for a hunt so they can prepare a feast for the Strawhats! That's kinda sweet, I wonder how the reunion of all separated groups so far will happen.
I wonder if it'll end up going to disaster because of Luffy accidentally freeing Loki or something. Loki did try to convince Luffy to find the key to his seastone chains earlier, but Luffy seemed to kinda ignore him. I wonder if Luffy will end up actually being manipulated, especially after Loki insulted Shanks and pissed him off. Then again, Luffy not only forgives easily, but he is also convinced easily, so who knows!
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Back to the giants' ship...... oooooh my god. I think I almost cried. My heart expanded in size seeing this alone, you have no idea how happy I am. She's back. Our girl cut her hair so Saul will recognize her....shut up. Shut UP. That's so sweet, I think I am going to explode. Welcome back bangs Robin I missed you so much. This better be permanent!!!
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In which Franky is literally me. I knew it before they confirmed it, it really is about meeting Saul........ I'm going to explode.
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But uuuh, bad news. Saul might.... not be in good health? Did he get injured? What does this mean. I swear to god, if something happens to him before Robin gets to see him......... Please god tell me this is going to just be a bit or something, oh god. Ending the chapter here, huh? Straight up evil!!!!
Anyway, I am soooo looking forward the next chapter. I am still... on the fence about Loki being the main Bad Guy. He clearly thinks of himself as a grand destructive force, yes, and looks down upon "puny humans" and the such, sure, and even contemplates about killing Luffy after he is freed if need be, but... I'm just so suspicious of the way he's introduced. Maybe he'll be more of a morally gray anti-hero, or a temporary antagonist. Maybe I'm wrong and he'll indeed be the next pure-evil Doflamingo type threat. But maybe he could even be a "redeemable" Bellamy type character instead. I have no clue, it's way too early to tell. But just seeing the way Luffy just kinda chills with him in some of the panels in this chapter.... I'm kinda hoping it's the latter, they have a charming dynamic. They're already so similar, surely there's more to Loki's story.
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After all, this is the guy that was infatuated with a lovable character we know dearly as the audience, Lola, to the point of denying to marry her identical sister. That tells me there's more to this guy than meets the eye. Am I reading too much into it? I could be completely off the mark, but we'll see!
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zettaireido-emotion · 2 days ago
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Camus character analysis: games VS anime
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If you finished the Uta no Prince-sama anime and your opinion of this man is "wow, he's kinda terrible," I don't blame you. in fact I've seen a lot of people say this
In this post, I want to talk about his characterization in the games and give my two cents on what the anime was trying to do with him, especially in his single focus episode Saintly Territory (S3E6).
Disclaimer: I wrote this on a whim because I'm sick and stuck at home so if anyone reads this, sorry I might go all over the place
Spoilers for all of the games!
The "be my slave" thing
Starting with Anime Camus's most egregious crime: treating Haruka like a servant/slave (however you want to translate it)
Basically in his focus episode, Haruka is tasked with writing a song for Camus. She wants to learn more about him in order to write it, but Camus will only let her follow him if she acts as his servant. She accepts without complaining, Cecil is rightfully angry, Haruka continues anyway and the song gets completed.
Now, am I about to say that Game Camus would never do this? No because he literally does lmao.
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The anime doesn't pull this "servant" plotline out of nowhere, here's the context in his route:
Haruka accidentally overhears Camus talking about a plot to assassinate Saotome on the phone. When he notices that she heard everything, he basically tells her that he has to kill her now. But if she served him, he'd be able to keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn't leak anything, so she could escape death.
Okay uh "work under me or DIE" isn't exactly better, nor is it a good start to a love story, but I'm not finished!!
(A side note: I have to add that the anime made him look like an even bigger asshole and borderline dumb when it came to the things he made her do. Like he expected her to know that snapping your fingers means you want coffee without prior explanation. bro
^This might have been for comedic effect but I promise he can be actually funny and endearing.)
What the anime couldn't cover
The Camus episode wraps up with Haruka pulling through and writing a song that makes Camus "sincere," he says it's cool at the very end and that's the episode. I think the problem is that we technically didn't see him being sincere or what that even means to him, besides when he was singing (banger song btw)
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It's a shame because in a 20-minute episode you really can't show the game experience of slowly piecing together what this man's problem is.
First of all, in Debut and AS you'll be quick to notice that he always has homeland and duty on the mind, constantly reminding himself that he's in Shining Agency/Japan for a reason, and it's NOT to have fun or make friends
The truth is, he slowly starts to appreciate the banter with his colleagues, music, and working there in general.
But because of his initial mindset, he has to rationalize & justify every connection he forms, like "it's just for work" or worse: "actually it was ALL A LIE and I NEVER ENJOYED A SECOND OF THE TIME WE SPENT TOGETHER, I'm such a great actor haha"
He uses that to fool himself and to push the other person away so it doesn't happen again. This scene is probably the best example:
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(I'll be using google lens because it's faster but I checked that the tls were okay)
He also does this in the Non-Fiction drama, which may or may not have actually happened, but I think it's still a pretty good reflection of what could happen in reality because he tells Ranmaru their bond was a lie, then mopes around in his guilt thinking about the good times and wondering why he's sad, and THEN later doubles down on the "it was a lie, I don't care about you" because he just can't let himself get attached to anything.
Basically, he's terrified at the thought of forming actual bonds because he genuinely thinks he's nothing if he stops being a cold weapon:
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At one point he does admit he sucks (as a love interest)-
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-which is pretty huge by utapri standards. I love these games, but the amount of times where a male lead does something icky, and everyone, including Haruka, acts like it's normal or like it's Haruka's fault is ehhh but I digress
Upbringing
Of course he's very proud of his homeland and status, but sometimes it's to the point of thinking he can't be anything other than his title. So why is he like this?
We got to hear about his childhood from Camus himself a few times, and it often ended with Haruka thinking "wait? that's kinda messed up?" and Camus insisting it's nothing/it's normal so yeah that's something...
His parents were in an unhappy arranged marriage, and his mother was forced to birth an heir which traumatized her so much that she can't see Camus without falling ill. Overall it's a pretty tragic situation since what happened to her was horrible, though not Camus's fault either. Even now she refuses to see him, and I wouldn't say that makes him sad because he never really met her, but simply knowing of her sacrifice probably adds a lot of pressure. As in, he only exists for this one purpose (inheriting his father's title and serving the country), so if he doesn't play his part correctly, it would have all been for nothing.
He was raised by his father not as a child or son but as the heir, always treated and judged as an adult (even during physical training apparently, make of that what you will)
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When Haruka asks about childhood memories he has a very hard time finding something that doesn't have to do with his duties or the nation. And then admits he didn't truly have a "childhood" since he was never treated like a child
As for the queen, I think his love for her is sincere: she taught him a lot of things growing up, and according to him, she's also a victim trapped by her duties so he wants to ease the burden.
So hypothetically, if he found things or people that made him happy in Japan, he would feel obligated to lock them away because that happiness is incompatible with his life: he'll have to leave when his mission ends, he shouldn't be spending time on things that aren't "useful" as he doesn't have the free will to pursue them
In his mind he's completely tied down by the fact that he was born and raised for a single reason, and the fact that he does want to serve the queen.
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(This is Saotome describing him btw)
Also it might sound ridiculous to bring his self-worth into question because of how pretentious he is, but I've counted a few situations where he seemed to have complete disregard for his own life, only worrying about Haruka and Cecil's safety in scenes when they were present. And he thinks wanting to be loved unconditionally is a childish thought he shouldn't have.
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"Double Face" was a lie. There's like at least 10 layers
On the surface he does have two personas, his perfect polite butler act for the media, and his cold bitchy attitude off camera. But honestly, even when he's not acting as a butler, he's often putting up a front to hide any form of vulnerability (from himself as well)
His main struggle is finding who he is outside of what he's being told to do. Before, he never actually stopped to think about what he WANTS because it just never occurs to him, or if it does he ignores it.
That's why realizing that he has his own desires is essential to his character development, and him staying with Quartet Night (and Haruka in his routes) is so important. It's why Reiji feels the need to reach out and when he does, Camus either freezes up or tears up;
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This all makes him the opposite of Ranmaru (being true to yourself and sincere), and similar to Ai (gradually learning to view the world in a less cold and logical way), but I kind of want to save that for another post lmao
He is especially hard on Cecil because Cecil says & does whatever he wants, and everything still works out for him, which is a way of life that Camus can't imagine for himself at all (despite maybe wanting it?)
That he can realize this and eventually admit out loud, despite all his pride, is also one of my favorite things about him
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Season 2 does hint at something, so that's pretty cool!
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Side note, I really love that his theme in the new Oracle series is "Change," the melting of ice.
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So what was the anime supposed to do??
Of course there's no way to show all this in a single episode or even during the runtime of the anime, and I never expected them to because the story is very surface-level (that goes for all characters).
It's just unfortunate since the anime is the most accessible and well-known utapri media in the western fandom, and the character's main episode is bound to leave the biggest impression.
I understand the choice of being laser-focused on the servant plotline, it's supposed to be funny (?) and waters him down to a trope that's easy to understand at first glance (the step-on-me guy I guess)
Still, I can't help but compare it to Ranmaru's episode, who was also hard to work with in the games but was chill in S3E7 and got to pet cats. Anime onlys will never know how much Camus loves to dote on his dog smh.....
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bisnes-socks · 3 days ago
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stephanie
hehehe i loved this song so much i'm so happy. i was worried going in, because the mixing kinda killed bluza for me, but this one was mixed to perfectiooooon mwah.
first of all, hello brit rock, hello alex turner vocals, hello nostalgia!
the song beginning with the drum beat had me paying attention to that, and it's a really cool, innovative base for this sound! i love how decorated the percussions are, so many little details, pings and pangs building the drum part and making it interesting. and that they're not afraid to add effects to the drums! the little 80's vibe frum fill right before "and then a lightning strike just fills the place" is so fun. once again hats off to jure on this one, i talked about him a lot in my first šta bih ja analysis and he's truly an excellent drummer in my opinion.
this song has such an interesting structure me. i love that it doesn't have a super obvious verse chorus verse chorus structure. the way the song is built feels very much like a storytelling vibe to me. and i love love love LOVE how at the very end, the music/melody and the vocals go like out of sync. the syncopated vocals are so delicious so interesting and super skilled songwriting. the musical details in this are so cool and there are so many, i have to keep listening to find them all. (i'm writing this in a hurry just to get my initial thoughts down, might do a deep dive into the musical aspects later.)
now i know i made fun of bojan earlier today and that was a joke, because i do have serious thoughts about the lyrics as well.
i think this song is basically about how he romanticises people, places and things. i think he knows that, and i think maybe, since this was originally meant to be a happy song, maybe it was originally meant to celebrate the fact that he sees so much good in people, that he finds people so fascinating and how much he loves making connections. but maybe on the day he wrote the lyrics, being such a... well, puppy of a person (and i genuenly say that with nothing but love, because it's an admirable quality) felt heavy. it's draining, to feel so intensly so easily.
i don't think the lines at the end, about love and happiness not being meant for people like him, are meant to be taken 100% seriously - or at least i think they are meant to be taken in the context of a specific moment and a specific feeling. i think the song very much recognises love is everywhere in his life, but feeling the spark of a specific type of love, only to have it die before you even get to explore what it could mean, is a moment of angst, and the lyrics rise from that moment.
i think everything about this song feels like a moment in time, a moment in the past. the sound is so nostalgic, i think on purpose, the lyrics are in past tense, the voice is edited in a way that makes it sound like it was recorded on an older system or through a phone or something, just the whole package, it gives this vibe of him remembering stephanie, and even though he's moved on, it's a moment of remembering the past and recognising that moment as something substantial. this just has that vibe of a song "about the one that got away" and it's gone now, but it's okay to feel a bit angsty about it on a friday night alone in your bed.
but things in the music, like a lot of the synth details, bring this playful, optimistic and positive sound into the song. and that gives me the sense that he's over it, she's a beautiful memory, and yeah sometimes he's bitter about it a little bit, angsty about it. but she's a story now. a beautiful story that means something to him, but just a story after all. i don't see it as a sad story, i see it as a story of myriad emotions. it's very much.. life.
bonus: i'm so sorry i know it's a heartfelt song and like i said i genuenly love it!! but i cannot help that it reminds me of carol brown by flight of the conchords
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thanks-for-the-crabapples · 21 hours ago
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Initial thoughts while watching arcane s2 act 1, spoilers below
Ep 1:
Literally in disbelief that Mel ended up alive, surely thought they were going to kill her and thus spark off Ambessa's arc
Absolutely unhinged that Viktor's last wish was for Jayce to destroy the hexcore and he uses it to save his life. There will surely be no repercussions from this action
Caitlyn and Vi hugging stfuuuuuuu
I really wish we had gotten to see Caitlyn defending Vi to the Enforcers instead of just hearing about it. I think that would've been really helpful for Cait's arc as well as made their future rift more impactful :/
That chem baron attack had me on the edge of my seat !! If they actually killed Mel in that moment I would've been so mad that I wondered about her for three years then found out she was alive then saw her die.... not yet at least :|
Okay but was the chem baron lady always that fit? Like,,,,hello
Cait and Vi fighting together is *chef's kiss*
Made a joke that Ambessa was late to the party cause she was watching her own music video to hype herself up. If only :(
Caitlyn storming in and claiming herself as a decorated officer and leader of House Kiramman to get her way holyyyyyy shit girl get it
Ep 2
These little differently animated opens are so slay
Very fun to see behind the curtain of this power grab. Love Sevika saying they don't give up their own people. She has changed somehow??
Super fun watching Sevika and Jinx reminisce about being Silco's henchwomen. They say behind every strong man, lol
Viktor waking up?!?!? Hehe he's nakey. They made Jayce give him a blanket so we wouldn't know about his arcane pee pee, sad
Affection that held us together??? Yaoi
They just love throwing more and more irreparable moments at Vi and Jinx's relationship huh? Talking about the arcade and how sad Jinx was to see Vi as an Enforcer using the gas :((((
Caitlyn's rage??? Okay girl go off. Let us see your rage. I support women's wrongs
Jinx's line about taking out the only family she has left kill me
Viktor as Jesus is not what I was expecting but I'm here for it
Ep 3:
So fascinated by the Kiramman lore and The Gray
Also, just have to say that the intro is so good and I never would have expected comfortable clothes for everyone but it's giving. Whoever put Cait in a black turtle neck thank youuuu
*kinda blacked out and missed stuff in this episode cause* CAITVI KISS LETS GO HAJAFHSJSKFK
Scientist team up is delightful
Definitely thought the temple fight was gonna be ep 9, very interesting fight and dynamic, it makes me very sad :(
"You're not my sister" ahhhhhhhh
I've taken ventilation classes before and idk how Jinx made the air do that lol
Cait and Vi break up scene, hundreds dead thousands injured. It's me, I'm dead
I'm so ready to witness all of Caitlyn's wrongs
Def blacked out most of ep 3 and missed quite a bit of note taking cause so much was happening. Can't wait to go back and process it all again. Until then I'm going to keep wallowing
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avelera · 4 hours ago
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I need to take a second to yell about the first five minutes of Arcane Season 2 because the whole Jayce/Mel/Viktor shakeout was so exactly, 100% the complete opposite of all of my theoriesthat I'm kind of in awe of it.
My theory was that the bomb would hit and the hexcore infusing Viktor would shield him and probably Jayce. That Mel would die in Jayce's arms or be very badly injured to the point of a coma.
I thought that Mel would become the causus belli for Ambessa and that seeing how the hexcore saved Viktor and possibly Jayce would trigger the breakup between Viktor and Jayce, because it would seem inescapable that Viktor had chosen to save Jayce and to let Mel die, perhaps out of jealousy. It might have been a split second decision and not really Viktor's fault, but from Jayce's point of view it would be difficult if not impossible to be around Viktor in the early fallout and pain of her death/injury.
At some point, I thought an injured Mel might come back with hexcore/arcane power, thus making Jayce even more wildly conflicted about how to feel towards Viktor and thus leave him at the mercy of the Arcane speaking through Mel as its avatar.
And y'all. Y'ALL.
COMPLETE 180 FROM THAT
Mel might be the one who has some sort of magical enchantment forcefield around her. Those gold tattoos and her gold eyes in the womb in Ambessa's video are starting to look really suspicious as some sort of built-in protection she has that she may have consciously or unconsciously extended to Jayce (when he moved to shield her) either by accident or on purpose.
Viktor was the one horribly injured into near death/a coma, taken over by the hexcore, and likely to cause Jayce a great deal of conflicted emotions later when the Arcane speak through him (I can't wait).
Mel might know she saved Jayce and damned Viktor in a split second decision that was not out of jealousy, but it might appear that way to an angry and hurt outsider like Jayce. Jayce finding out that she had this protection might serve as a point of conflict for them later.
That said, I'm somewhat doubtful of this being a long term point of conflict from Jayce towards Mel because I think Jayce would be more happy she's alive but it's possible she at least fears this possibility. It's not clear yet if she even has such a protection, and if she does if she knows about it. Plus we kinda have passed the moment where I think it would start a fight between Jayce and Mel, or more than a brief feeling of betrayal on his part (since I doubt he would expect Mel to save Viktor, let alone with such a brief window to even make such a choice, if it's a choice by her at all) , but it's interesting that Mel says that people just randomly surviving disasters is a thing that happens unpredictably, perhaps lending to an interpretation that this sort of thing happens a weird amount of times to her and she may or may not know why.
ANYWAY! I'm sort of in awe of how exactly the bomb aftermath was the exact opposite of what I'd predicted, and how well it works and continues to work in the show, honestly, I'm a bit feral about how good the writing is in this show overall
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karlachismylife · 1 day ago
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Soap for the character ask game plz :)
Do I really need a reason to yap about him? Nah, but I'll take it, thanks :)
If anyone else is interested, I'll be glad to talk about someone else from COD and BG3. The game itself is here if someone wants to reblog!
So. John "Soap" MacTavish.
favorite thing about them
Is "everything" a good enough answer? No? Damn. I guess I'll have to go with his passion. I can tie that to his ADHD, I can tie that to the fact that he's sunshine (and sun burns hot and flares), it doesn't matter - his emotions are bright, run hot, he's impulsive and he feels so strong. I relate to that, I also just like everything bright and flashy. His anger, his loyalty, his sense of justice, his love - they are so big and strong they cannot be contained inside his heart no matter how huge it is. This is what makes him dangerous, this is what makes him vulnerable, this is what makes him so fucking lovable to me.
least favorite thing about them
The fact that he prefers coffee over tea (source: his VA). I'm sorry, I can't stand coffee, my throat literally closes up and stops breathing if I enter some coffee-smelling space and it's not something I can control well (I tried, I swear). So the knowledge that living with Soap would involve the apartment reeking of the forbidden drink, and even worse, kissing him might taste like coffee... it's heartbreaking. I'm training that man to drink tea whether he likes it or not, coffee doesn't do anything for ADHDers anyway.
favorite line
I mean. I feel like using any of Ghoap batner here would be cheating cuz it is very much the best thing ever and also they're bouncing off each other. So I'll go with "Kids, guns and balloons. That's a new one."
It's at the start in Las Almas. I love listening to Soap in general, I love all the Scott-isms he has (even though it seems actual Scottish didn't appreciate those too much), I obviously love the funny lines he has or when he gets angry. But this one just stuck with me. Probably not because it's a Soap line, but because it's a sad line in general (and hits a little too close to home in the current situation).
But also I feel like it's kinda. The fact that I, a 22yo civilian am not actually surprised to see that "kids, guns and balloons" situation (although I am so fortunate to not be witnessing that directly), and Soap, a 26 (I think?) yo SAS Sergeant who ran off to enlist at 15-16 is. It says something about how he views the world, doesn't it? He lacks that cynicism. I've seen people say that veiwing him as a "happy go lucky" guy is incorrect, but I dunno, man. I think if someone who kills people for his job is surprised to see kids involved into crime+politics games, then he's a pretty damn optimistic lad that believes in the good in the world.
brOTP
Soap and Alejandro. There's just something so smooth, straightforward and inherently good about just two men coming to fight for what's right. Also nothing is funnier than Soap's constant cultural shock in Las Almas and Alejandro just chuckling at every silly question Johnny asks. Big brother Alejandro go go go!
OTP
Karlach x Soap for life, everything else is secondary.
nOTP
I reject the concept of nOTP, even the least likely/adhering to my tastes ships are at least interesting to explore. However, I am not a big fan of toxic relationships and such, so something like Soap x Makarov or Soap x Graves would be interesting to look at, but probably upsetting.
random headcanon
He likes the pink Orbit bubblegum, the one that comes in little stripes. His dad used to bring those at the end of the work week, sometimes unopened, sometimes with just a couple pieces left, and Soap stashed them away in his pillow case when he had the willpower not to eat them all at once. His old pillow in his childhood bedroom still smells like bubblegum.
absolutely based on my own life
unpopular opinion
I don't know what's popular to say what's unpopular. But maybe the fact that I think that Soap isn't like a total horndog 24/7? I still think he is pretty horny, more than an average person, but I also think that he's more tactile than anything and that even when he gets a random boner or just is hot and bothered, he can be satisfied with non-sexual touch. But he does not respond well to touch starvation, oh no.
song i associate with them
I am so bad at assosiating songs with characters/ships etc :( I'll be boring and repeat myself for the third time: Ren's "Loco"
youtube
favorite picture of them
That comission of him and Karlach I got, duh
But if we're talking ingame, nothing beats him being pretty and doing puppy eyes in that Milena interrogation scene. That hand reaching scene alone has me by the throat.
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Thank you for asking about him!! Love youu <3
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applestorms · 2 days ago
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4 and 16 for the DN asks 👀
HEHEHE. ok <3 original ask game
4. who’s your favorite underrated or obscure character?
NEAR. we've got a pretty good community of near lovers around here but i'm counting him as underrated due to fandom-wide opinions. alternatively, kiyomi. <33
16. who do you believe is the smartest character?
i was actually considering writing a whole post on intelligence in DN, but didn't think i had enough to say for a full ramble so here's a (not so) brief overview of a bunch of notable characters. i'm of the opinion that trying to rank/judge intelligence by some kind of hierarchy or objective standard is kind of impossible (say it with me everyone, IQ tests are bullshitttt) and personality/temperament plays quite a significant role in DN's mind games, so. idk. here:
L: if you Demanded i choose one person to be the smartest character in DN, i'd probably give in and say L. that being said, i think L's intelligence mostly surrounds things like his logical reasoning/pattern recognition/memory for details/etc. his knowledge of people in particular is interesting to me, as while i don't think he intuitively Gets people very well, his ability to reason out their mindset/emotional character is one of his key abilities in the series (see: figuring out KIRA's mindset to confirm that he's even a real person at all)-- so, idk, it's kinda hard to judge if that could be considered Emotional Int or not. he's certainly also got great potential to learn more, esp if it's for the sake of a case, though his personality n picky, princess-y attitude trips him up a bit.
NEAR: while i don't think near has as much Collected Knowledge as L, if only due to not having the same amount of lived experience/time to get there, i do think he's got one advantage over him when it comes to his rationality. i.e. near is Chill where L gets very, very invested in his projects, which can at times cloud his judgement when it comes to things not directly related to said projects. near just seems more likely to be the type to take a step back n reflect on everything, perhaps even to a fault, though this grants him the Distinct advantage of allowing him to keep his ego in check. don't get me wrong, he's still cocky and fixated and kind of an asshole, but man's got hobbies. he knows how to take a vacation.
LIGHT: light is dumb as fuck. at the start of the story he's in a similar position to near, lacking the lived experience and Collected Knowledge of L, and his planning/judgements are screwed not only by his lack of intelligence, but his overwhelming ego n temper. light's real strength is his ability to manipulate people, knowing the exact type of mask he needs to wear to get what he needs, and his ability to keep (outwardly) calm in the face of stress. once/if he gets past his temper, he's very good at reacting in the moment n rolling with the punches. light is also an interesting case in that his intelligence will often backfire against him-- where L can sometimes get his view clouded by viewing Everything through the lens of the case and missing some of the greater consequences of his actions (see: granting KIRA god status through lind l. tailor), light gets fucked up in that his reasoning allows him to better Repress and Deny the facts of reality that he doesn't want to have to deal with (e.g. his own murders). also, Knowledge-wise, i think it's notable that one of the few academic subjects we see light being Really good at (in the anime, at least?) is english-- communication is light's biggest strength, you could say. ig he is a Warrior of the pen and all.
MELLO: i kinda see him as suffering from the same faults/strengths as light, but to a more extreme/overt degree. he Struggles to keep his temper and ego in check, especially since it is constantly being aggravated by his inferiority complex-- but when he can, he is similarly quite good at keeping calm and chill and reacting well to the circumstances. i actually think he's one of the better planners in the series, and his willingness to take action grants him the advantage of catching other people off guard. it always gets to me that what ultimately takes mello out is his kindness/courtesy, allowing takada her blanket and her chance to kill him. he seems to care about People in the most genuine way out of anyone to me in this series, which is both lovely and tragic.
MISA: anyways, onto someone who Does Not care about people. misa's biggest strength is her acting and YES, SHE'S GOOD AT ACTING. SHUT UP. i would say she's even better than light at this, since it's literally part of her job and also she apparently fools half the fandom into thinking she's a moron. i actually think misa has a similar strength to near as well in that she's capable of getting outside her own head and reflecting on the situation in a way that isn't purely driven by her own ego-- part of her fault is just that, like L, she often doesn't care enough to bother. misa knows what the fuck she wants, and pursues it successfully and rigorously enough to keep light in a stranglehold from the minute she meets him until the day he fucking dies. the question is whether or not this Thing she wants so badly will actually make her happy, or whether she will allow herself to drop the stubbornness for two goddamn seconds and chill out enough to actually consider other options.
KIYOMI: kiyomi is book smart and has quite good logic and reasoning as well, but she is Stifled by social expectations a way that i see as very much parallel to light. i think her biggest strength and weakness are knotted up together, in a way-- she makes the connections, but only rarely bothers to say them out loud. i actually think she might have a similar mix of self-doubt and ego as mello, though the way they express those traits are polar opposite. she's Aware of people in a similar way too, or at the very least conventional rules of morality/ethics, enough so to be horrified when light asks her to kill (but not enough to stop herself from doing it). i fucking adore the idea that she's a bit of a closeted sadist too-- etc. etc. horror at her actions, or her own capacity for them in and of itself? juicy shit.
NAOMI: taking from LABB murder canon for this one too-- naomi Definitely has strong logical reasoning, being able to keep up with/follow much of the mind game bullshittery of beyond and L even as ryuzaki is fucking with her irl. she's got a more blunt, brutal version of near's Don't Give A Fuck-ery too, throwing away the bullshit without a second of doubt or care when she recognizes it. her weakness is again in her kindness, though naomi's has got more of a maternal edge to it than mello's. remember-- what fucks her up, what causes her to separate herself from the FBI in the first place is not her own experiences with racism or sexism from her coworkers, but her inability to shoot a child. kind of opposite to kiyomi in that way, actually, horror at her inability to execute violence against someone that she sees as an inherently innocent being? perhaps part of what endears her to L as well, and light.
SOICHIRO: his greatest strength is his capacity for reflection, which i see as a side effect of his age. soichiro is not caught up in the throes of his own ego, he doesn't have much patience for the mind games, and why would he? he's got a job to do, a family to take care of and love. he's more cool-headed than a lot of the younger characters because of this, capable of reconsidering his morals and the nuances of his ethical stance as he comes in contact with new situations, not holding to some Static idea of This Is How Reality Must Be 100% (see: him softening his stance to say that the true evil is "the capacity to kill," in his hospital bed). yet this love for his family, the fact that he has kind of Made It, is also his greatest weakness-- he's got something to lose now, and especially in the second half, we can see that Fear really get to him.
BEYOND: is simply not that smart. worse, he's all ego and got a simultaneous superiority/inferiority complex. he comes up w/ dumb, overly convoluted puzzles n then looks down on other people for being too Pedestrian to get it, walking naomi through his reasoning bc he thinks she's too stupid to figure out the important shit. i don't even think he's on naomi's level of reasoning, he's just good at murder mystery-esque puzzle bs and lighting himself on fire.
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wearesorcerer · 17 hours ago
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But as I am not a Brit and do not commit drive-by argument -- or rather, since I started this, I'm going to continue it. Mwahahaha. Cut for length.
That would check out if we didn't roll for stats (you're a kitty cat? then you get Dexterity 16, no variations), or if everyone in the world rolled for stats, PCs and NPCs and monsters (so the +2 to the Dexterity of all kitty cats will result in statistically more dexterous kitty cats in comparison to, say, orcs in the general population of the campaign setting).
Although I do kinda see the appeal of the first one as far as stat generation goes, the second one is spurious: the only reason we don't roll for stats for everyone is because it's too time consuming on a DM's part to stat every single NPC as an individual. It's something that has gradually been phased out: in OD&D, BECMI, and at least AD&D 1e (possibly 2e), you did roll each creature's HD to determine HP -- and in many cases they didn't have ability scores listed, which makes me wonder if those just didn't exist for them (they were only their combat block) or if you rolled for those, as well. (My experience with editions before 3rd is too incomplete for me to know one way or the other, which I find to be a failure on my part.)
For the longest time, rolling stats was presented as an option for minor NPCs (and there was a whole stat array in older DMGs for semi-randomized stats for NPC adventurer-types by class to meet in the middle).
We roll PCs that way because, originally, they weren't guaranteed to be heroic in stature: it gave a way of potentially representing anyone. (This is also no doubt the origin of the Prime Requisite: you had to be this tall [have a stat this high] to enter [take the class] and you got a bonus to XP if you were so much over that threshold because the stats didn't give bonuses and penalties as frequently as they have since 3rd edition.) Or, at least, we did: I've found that dice rolling is the least preferred method of character generation in 5e both in presentation and in play. Mostly, we use the "Standard Array" (Elite Array in 3.x; standard was 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8) or a point buy setup that is meant to generate the same results and utilizes the same caps (8 - 15).
I'ma split things up a bit for your next paragraph.
If you get a +2 to Dexterity from your species, the combination of what you rolled and where you're assigning each roll could still result in a clumsy, Dex 6 kitty cat. (Which should not be impossible! Not all kitty cats are the same! And even if a tiny minority of them are clumsy, people are allowed to be special, and adventurers are expected to be special.) So if the stat adjustment from your species doesn't guarantee you'll end up in the average of your species, what's even its point? It has no point, if you ask me.
That literally is the point.
The best example I saw of this was Baggi the Half-Orc Barbarian, a character a friend of mine played in undergrad. Baggi had an Int of 3. Since I was taking a linguistics course at the time, I had found out that animals like chimps (in 3.x, capped at Int 2) had vocabularies of about 300 words and related this to Baggi's player, which she used as guideline's for Baggi's speech: she knew some words in Common and some in Orc. Even though her Wisdom was decent, she had to be directed a lot and caused problems for the party -- realistic ones, as the player in question had worked with mentally disabled people (especially kids) long enough to pull this off.
And everyone loved it. Baggi was the most memorable of the characters in that particular campaign. The incidents other players got into were memorable, but Baggi was by far the most interesting and memorable purely as a character.
(I'll come back to racial Int penalties, which is where this whole thing started, later.)
Raistlin Majere's notoriously poor Constitution also comes to mind. He managed to work in setting despite his frailty, frequently as a plot point. Hell, my first "Rogue" (it wasn't a Rogue, but it pretended to be one) had a Strength and Con of 3 and 4 (no, I don't remember which was which).
I can't think of an instance where a character has used a racial bonus to offset an extremely low roll, but it's not an outlandish idea. Hell, it's fairly strategic: if you roll well on most stats but have one that's really low, matching it with your racial bonus aids in the extreme. I've done it numerous times with low but not horrible rolls.
I hatehatehate this notion that you have to have high stats to work in the game. Perhaps adventurers need high stats to survive, realistically speaking. Perhaps they don't: people with disabilities have lived and even thrived in communities of humans since there were humans. There's a wheelchair user in the middle of splash art in the new PHB! (Doing nothing but posing in a situation-inappropriate accommodation, I might add: it's clear the character is probably an Artificer, despite that class not appearing in the book, and yet the chair doesn't have mechanical legs or a levitation device or whatever.)
But of course that's how 5e works: there are no racial penalties and the preferred methods of stat generation aren't rolling dice, but choosing an array or point buy, neither of which can give you a stat below 8 (and now nothing higher than 15, so whatever).
I've seen people talk about removing the abilities altogether since at least 3rd and more often now because they're not really used and no one has a low score. I think that's a shame, as having meaningful drawbacks that come up a lot is a great source of characterization. But I've said that already.
That's the logic which gave women a strength penalty in older editions.
The notorious Strength cap for women in 1st edition AD&D isn't the same logic at all. It flat out ignored that the different races didn't necessarily have the same underlying biology, for one, since caps applied to all races, and had nothing to do with stereotype. Which we're getting to.
(Next couple of paragraphs were continuation of the same thoughts I've already discussed. Moving further.)
Benefits: pick a +2 and a +1 stat boost OR or 3 +1 stat boosts, an origin feat, two skill proficiencies, and one tool proficiency, take 50 gold, off you go. Isn't that liberating?
I like that idea in practice, but y'know what that is? The same thing as giving each character a non-class progression with a bonus feat at 1st level and every level divisible by X (3 in 3.x, 4 in 5e) and assigning points or whatnot to skills. Like in 3rd edition. Which the backgrounds wanted to avoid by being packages and giving RP advice.
But more importantly, those bonuses? That's already represented in game by assigning your ability scores to fit your class. You are a Rogue with a high Dex because of backstory reasons, which is why you assigned your high roll to Dex. I'm not against the notion of class (or background) giving you ability boosts also so as to mitigate the problem of insufficiency in the stat generation mechanics, but taking it away from something that also has justification (biology) and has more justification to be static than upbringing doesn't make sense.
I'm not going to belabor the issues of racism in D&D. They are manifold and beside the point. But I will point this out: the logic behind having races give ability score bonuses is the same logic as having races provide racial features. It's biological determinism. And having an elf get +2 Dex fits with how elves work, whereas having your background give you +2 Dex is just "hey, I have more points from my point buy!" But I said that already.
As things currently stand (2024), race accounts for your size (almost always Medium, with being Small not mattering all that much), speed (pretty much 30), aging rate (purely cosmetic), whether or not you have Darkvision or resistance to something (which you can and will get, either outright or an equivalent thereof, via items), and something analogous to an origin feat that doesn't quite match (Elf Lineage vs. Magic Initiate, Halfling Luck vs. Lucky, etc.). Or, to go down to what's left that separates one from the next, a not-quite-feat and cosmetics. That's not just boring, that's irrelevant. And as far as biology goes, it's unrealistic. 5e had already downgraded so many races to a point like this already; now it's an extra step in character creation that exists because LotR had a fandom. It's to the point that the leading game in a genre that works really well for xenofiction cannot actually do xenofiction anymore: approaching racial personality traits gets questionable very quickly and biology seldom matters. At least the racial bonuses (and penalties!) made your choice of race material.
Undecided about D&D 5.5 and the 2024 rules
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Pros:
Weapon Mastery
Cunning Strike
stat boosts and skills moving from Species to Backgrounds
the PHB rules glossary and the DMG toolkit (for ease of use)
origin feats, and general feats giving +1 to a stat
easier to homebrew player-facing rules (because feats and subclasses are more streamlined)
some big changes, some minor tweaks
Cons:
power creep (full assessment pending until the MM comes out)
uneven power creep
stealth makes no sense
they fully bailed on the skill system
strains suspension of disbelief even more
less support for homebrewed monsters
some big changes, some minor tweaks
The CR system needs playtesting with the new Monster Manual, so assessment pending. We're probably gonna see much more dangerous monsters: Cure Wounds straight up doubled the hp it heals, and healing in general is a lot more generous. I don't know if that bloat was necessary, or motivated by anything other than "players can do MOAR damage now, buy our new books to be COOLER!", followed by a domino effect.
At this point, I'm torn between incorporating a few 5.5 rules to 5e, or a few 5e rules to 5.5, or whole other subsystems to either (I'm looking at the skill system of Level Up a.k.a. Advanced 5th Edition, it's interesting), or abandoning D&D altogether (because I'm tired, not because it's that bad). But I'm pretty sure I won't adopt 5.5 as is.
Assessment pending.
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dazzle02 · 3 months ago
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Buck and Maddie's relationship is one of the most interesting on the show to me personally.
She was nine, she lost her brother and gained a new one and suddenly she's not just an older sister, she's a parent too. She's nine years old and someone's Mother. While not being allowed to properly grieve the brother she just lost. Not even allowed to acknowledge his existence.
And of course she did the best she could, but she was a child raising another child. No parent has all the answers, but especially not a CHILD who never asked to have this put on them. So she of course got things wrong. One that really sticks out is her explanation about their parents worry when Evan falls off his bike. She kinda put the idea in his head that getting hurt is what will get him that love he craves from their parents. And that was NOT her fault. She was 12. And also living in this abusive household. But she was the one that gave him the idea to continue hurting himself to get attention. And there are likely other things that he learned from her that weren't actually healthy, due to her being a child trying to learn about the world herself.
And when she left for Boston, that would definitely feel like a parental abandonment for Evan due to her being the only parental figure he ever really had. But it WASN'T. It was a 19 year old moving out and going to School, which is what a lot of people that age tend to do. But to Evan, it would feel like the only parent he's ever known leaving him. And logically he'd know that's not the case. She's NOT his mother, she's his sister and she's supposed to live her life and she never asked to raise a child at such a young age. He was NOT her responsibility. But emotionally? That's the start of his abandonment issues.
And it's why Maddie can be kinda overbearing with him at times too. (Especially after the lightning strike...) It was ingrained in her from the age of nine that he's her kid and she has to take care of him. So as soon as she sees him suffering in any way, those instincts come back full force. She's gotta take care of him, make sure he's not going to die while she's not looking. AND make it clear she's not leaving him again.
They've had to figure out how to go from the relationship they had as kids where she was more a parent than a sister, to a new one now that they're adults where they're siblings.
And that's gotta be tough. And I would love more of a focus on that really. Just them still kinda adjusting to having to have this new dynamic. Because logically they both are aware that Maddie having to raise Buck was messed up and unfair for them both. But it's also just what's normal to them.
And any time someone comes for Maddie about not being a good sister it makes my blood boil. SHE DOES HER BEST! She was a child raising a child, and she's now an adult who went through abuse for pretty much her entire life! First the neglect from her parents (plus the parentification) and then her marriage to Doug for like 15 years! Of course she's not perfect. And as much as they both love each other, they ARE BOTH part of each others traumas. For Maddie a big trauma for her was having to raise him, and for Buck a big trauma for him was her leaving. And they've managed to work through that for the most part. It's always going to be there, they're both very defining for each of them. For Maddie having to become a parent at such a young age made her feel as though she couldn't be a very good one due to not being a perfect parent AS A CHILD. And for Buck, Maddie leaving was definitely the start of his abandonment issues. And neither of them are at fault for that, but they both have these issues that are directly tied to each other. It all comes back to their parents though. If they'd just done their jobs as parents, things would be so different.
Some of this may not make much sense as it is very hot here right now and I am not thinking right. But you get what I mean, hopefully. 🤣
I would also like to add to Supernatural fans, you can not claim Dean Winchester is just the best brother in the world for raising Sam and then turn around and claim Maddie is a terrible sister. Especially as Dean could be very abusive at times...
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commsroom · 2 months ago
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cutter was born in the 20s, and he'd become "arthur keller" by the early 70s, so obviously pryce's story at the beginning of brave new world can't be taken literally - that's not even an old man, much less "older than anyone she had ever met." it's also inarguable she was an adult already working on her... ideas for the human body when cutter sought her out; "i want you to make a doll for me" and "i found people who had some very bold ideas about how to... tune up the human body [...] i funded their work, and provided them with a willing test subject" are pretty definitely referring to the same events. so, it's fairy tale language, but the question is: why? why frame it this way?
one part of it is the "fountain of youth" in connection to immortality, strength, and health. the implication isn't literally that cutter is very old and pryce is very young; it's that she represents this power, and that he wants her to bestow it upon him: "then you and i will fix the world. i will be young and you will be whole." cutter and pryce choose to look eternally 28, while referring to and conducting themselves as if they're very old: it's not just vanity, it's part of their self-mythology. simultaneously young and old, having overcome the natural order.
that mythology of "overcoming" natural limitations is especially significant for pryce: characterizing herself as a "little girl" within her own story is both self-victimizing and self-aggrandizing. pryce does not see herself as disabled so much as temporarily inconvenienced; even the usual limitations of the human body are something she hopes to transcend. "instead of being wretched or afraid, the little girl decided to be clever." she was put at a disadvantage, but overcame it all by herself because she was smarter and better than other people. by extension, anyone who can't do what she did just isn't good enough, even as she's closing doors behind her and making it harder for others like her. and at the same time: it's an underdog story that requires her to have been an underdog. she hasn't been in a very, very long time, but the power she holds over others remains justified in her self-perception by this image of a sick little girl who was hurt by the world. there's an implication of inherent worthiness, and even a sort of expected assumed innocence in characterizing it that way. the first thing people notice about pryce is her eyes, and... sure, maybe it's the technology, but if cutter can catch bullets without any visible signs, it seems likely to me that, like her age, this is at least in part an aesthetic choice. it intimidates people. she's turned this point of hurt and vulnerability into a power play, and remains attached to it.
and that's the other part of the mythologizing that's going on: presumably, pryce was not the only person who worked on all of this. cutter funded others. but the story retroactively simplifies it, in a childish fairy tale way, and paints an image of them as exceptional, uniquely capable and so uniquely deserving, people.
i think there's something interesting to consider here about pryce in contrast to hera: that pryce is a woman who self-justifies her cruelty via a mythologized girlhood, while hera is a woman who was never a girl, who was never considered innocent or even allowed the same recognition of the ways she's been a victim. pryce resents humanity and all it represents, resents her body and its limitations, feels that being human has only caused her suffering, but still clearly believes that she has more of a claim to humanity than hera does by nature of her biology and upbringing. pryce's "bootstraps" attitude re: disability and her own self-victimization are the crucial things here, but i think that is also particularly interesting if you read hera as a trans woman.
(incidentally, this is part of why i have a particular love for hera designs where she's just a regular woman, more angular, and maybe even older looking - a natural 30-something in contrast to an unnaturally maintained 28 - than pryce. they're both women who have chosen how they want to look, and it highlights something.)
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danwhobrowses · 1 month ago
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I'm not sure how much good this vent will do, I'm not even sure I want to post this vent after my last one, but I'm writing it just so it's out of my head and into words because it seems once again fandom has chosen to send vitriol Ashton Greymoore's way.
What for? They talked to a 'specter' of the primordial titan within them, through their connection to the earth, the natural flow of creation and destruction. They ask what will happen to the world, it responds that it'll endure, they ask what of the people, it responds that the strong will survive and the weak will be remade into something stronger, to which Ashton replies they think they understand. To fandom this means that Ashton is becoming a fascist, that they have a 'Make Exandria Great Again' attitude for wanting the Primordials back, that they need to be beaten up or 'get what's coming to them' in order to change their mind, and I can only sit here and stew and wonder if this hate is really well-founded? Ashton is among my favourite characters in C3, I get frustrated by them at times too but if I think about it a big percentage of my frustrations is more towards people disliking them than me disliking things they do, or Matt setting up scenarios that doesn't do them any favours towards the fandom that hates them. Some of these are knee-jerk reactions of course, but for others it does feel like they have it out for Ashton, and I don't wanna engage with that, which makes it quite lonely when most of the fandom hones in on it.
For the most part I can understand how the whole 'the weak will be remade' bit can be taken badly; it's definitely iffy, but every other plan we have is also very iffy. The Release Predathos option literally involves unleashing an entity that wants to genocide the gods, the Maintain Status Quo option ('option' the status quo imo is impossible, in my mind the Gods can stay but the dynamic will still have to change) maintains a relationship where the gods pick and choose who they feel deserves help, using their power to covet more power, strongarm and demand loyalty, and overall choose fellow gods over mortals when the chips are down and not owning up to it. We should also remember that entities can speak in riddles, 'remade into something stronger' doesn't necessarily mean death; it could mean to adapt and grow, to become strong enough to bear and overcome it as many of the PCs of Critical Role have done with their hardships and trauma. It's worth reminding that the sad truth is that people will die whatever outcome happens - the aim is always to lessen the amount but if the Gods leave it's a power vacuum, if we linger too long it's a Calamity, and if the Gods stay it's a holy war on a more wild and less organized scale - and that Ashton isn't saying they approve of such death, merely that they think they understand. The commune doesn't tell Ashton which way to go; it only tells them that the world will endure, there will be change and it will change people, trees will still grow, the wind will still blow, the waves will still flow along the coasts of the sea, and people will survive. I know the interpretation can differ from people thanks to Matt's patented vague or riddle-mounted choices in phrase, but I also think if it was the Wildmother who told Orym or some other follower that 'nature is a cycle, everything must adapt to change or else it'll die - this world will change, but it will also survive' nobody would be calling Orym a fascist, people would accept it because the Wildmother's domain is nature, and nature is not always kind.
While we're mentioning Orym - and because this is gonna come off as critical I must preface that I like and enjoy All of the Hells, that's not changed - I also gotta call it out here because it does very much feel like the people who hate Ashton hate them for the reasons they love Orym. Both are stubborn, they're diligent in their personal code, they care deeply for their friends and would give their whole being just to keep them safe, they believe in the Hells' power and greatness more than each member does and more than they believe in their own, but Ashton gets the hate mainly because these fans agree more with Orym on the god stuff. What confuses me though is how these same haters can despise Ashton for being consistent but love Braius, the literal Devil Worshipper who secretly is on board with the Chase Away plan only so he can help the Devil rule the world, the compulsive liar. Where's Braius' scrutiny? A world under Asmodeus will be a far worse 'survival of the fittest' scenario, why does Braius get a pass in all this stuff huh? Because he's funny? Seems people ignore the whole morality talk when they're discussing Braius' dedication to Exandrian Satan.
I find it irksome too that even the group seem to criticize Ashton reaching out to Primordials too - as if that wasn't what we wanted them and Fearne to do anyway. They don't dislike the gods simply because they're a 'great entity', it's because they're a great entity that holds power and doesn't use it equally or fairly; they pick and choose who to help, a lot of the time in Ashton's experience for their own self-service, but they won't prioritize mortals over another god no matter who cruel or heinous the god is being, and the following of these gods are so intertwined with politics that most religious motivation also ends up being political. Ashton has no connection to the gods, they reached out and got nothing, an Angel looked at them and made them feel like nothing, but they do have a connection to the Primordials; from the Earth Golem to the Titan Empress they're literally a vessel of, they experienced something significant in their connection to the Earth, so I don't like how that they're almost mocked for having it. In addition, Ashton's behaviour during this commune differs because of that connection, but also because the titans are a natural flow; they don't demand or test or politic or prejudice, and despite being a Great Entity in its own right it never made sure Ashton felt small for their own satisfaction, they asked a question and got an answer, it's the same reason Ashton has disdain for most political leaders but likes and respects Keyleth, Allura, Kima, Pike, and (eventually) Percy despite also being people in power. To call on Orym and the Wildmother as an example again; Orym's an Air Ashari, the Ashari are guardians of the Elemental Planes - made from the Primordials - not tied to a god, but nobody criticizes his connection to the Wildmother despite both not being a follower and his culture being more tethered to Primordials and their descendants. I'm not saying it's all correct for Ashton to want things to go back to how Primordials ruled, but we must remind ourselves also that we only know a story written by victors when it comes to the Schism - a story which could very easily have been altered and edited to make it feel more justified for the Primes and mortals to actively genocide all the Primordials, the native species and creators of this world, and desecrate their remains to make weapons, soul anchors, and cities - the specter didn't say 'fuck em, all mortals should die' after all, if they believe mortals would survive then they must be at the least tolerant of mortal existence. Why is it okay for god followers to say they wanna keep the world with the gods they have a connection to (and I'm not saying they aren't) but Ashton is out of line for wanting to have a world which has something active that they also have a connection to? It seems rather unfair to allow one side to have and the other to have not, picking and choosing because our audience's bias has spent more time with the gods, Ashton wanting something they can connect to doesn't feel all wrong either, the Eidolons still exist with faint worship hiding away so they're not smited by the gods, why can't faith exist so they're not in hiding? I sincerely doubt the Punk Rock that is Ashton is asking for the Primordials to fill the Gods' roles the same way the Gods have been running things either, they want to break the throne remember? There needs to be a balance in ideals and practice of course, and in an ideal world there could even be a more fluid and all-inclusive Exandria where gods and Eidolons live harmoniously with mortals without hierarchy and class systems, I think Ashton could happily live with something like that, they did say the world needs 'a little chaos' to call back to Matt hinting that the current world doesn't have enough.
Which leads us to those wishing violence upon Ashton - and I really don't like that. People who say 'hitting them over the head is the only language they understand' seem to misinterpret Ashton as if everyone around them have been on their hands and knees begging Ashton to reconsider and them ignoring valid points and pulling a Leroy Jenkins. In reality, nobody is actually talking to Ashton about it, a lot of the frustration with Bells Hells right now is that they aren't talking to each other, even about the end goal! Ashton has valid reasons for their thinking, so being violent isn't gonna change their mind; undermining, dehumanizing and trying to effectively bully anyone let alone someone with chronic pain and low self worth will never truly convince them to your way of thinking. All people understand the language of violence, but that language is not used justly, those who truly wish violence upon Ashton don't want it in hopes it'll force Ashton to change their mind, they want it for their own satisfaction of seeing them in pain; so they can further push them away from the rest of the group and go 'that guy's not one of us', make it so the people Ashton calls family after a lifetime of loneliness, confusion and abandonment - the people they promised they won't abandon, and have kept true on that promise even at their lowest - make them feel small and worthless, and force them into box where they can't be themselves, and I hate that people would want to treat them that way. Ashton IS capable of listening; they've stepped back and trusted the other Hells to do their own thing even when it's ridiculous like staging a play where they pretend to be Ludinus to trick Unseelie emissaries into thinking that he attacked them, they listened to the gods even when they didn't have to like they promised they would and despite it being very personal they held themselves back for the benefit of the group, and if the group talked to them calmly where they were all allowed to healthily discuss the pros and cons, the ideals and compromises, and the risk and reward of all plans that have been proposed then they would listen, and they would try - you don't need to slice bread with a broadsword.
Will Ashton 'get what's coming to them'? Maybe, but what is that exactly? We only assume to know the full vision of what Ashton wants to act on. All of Bells Hells are gonna face the consequences of the choice they make on Ruidus - when they finally make one that is - in and out of the world they live in, so won't that apply to everyone? So what for Ashton? do people want Fractures 2.0? Does everything Ashton wants in life have to blow up violently in their face? Family, Closure, their best friend's safety, why does 'what's coming to them' have to be something aggressive and harmful? People change through positive reinforcement and good experiences too! Caduceus Clay would remind you that it's love that makes people. Don't mistake this rant as me wanting Ashton to be exactly as they are now, I too want to see growth from Ashton and we ARE seeing it happen; I see it in small instances where they think twice about rash actions and try not to fly off the handle, when they sit just to listen or understand or to defuse tension, and that when they're going somewhere or doing something they let the group know in advance, those who think Ashton hasn't changed since ep. 1 aren't paying close attention, but that doesn't mean that they don't still have more ground to cover. I believe that Ashton grows the most through kindness; when they're treated like a person and not a blunt instrument or a nuisance, and I hope what's 'coming' for Ashton isn't rejection, bitterness, and isolation, but acceptance, empathy, and for someone - if you know me you'd know who I'd want it to be - to convince them that they are worthy of living, that they're special not because of their powers or blood or because they have died and been put back together again (honestly, it does irk me a little that both Keyleth and Imogen chose that for titles and to brag to the Matron, I know it isn't intended this way but sometimes it feels like saying 'your best defining quality is that you've died a lot') but because while they have every reason to hate everything they still chose to be kind to those who deserve kindness, they have a good heart and they mean well. Are they perfect? No! They're in their 20s very few people irl have their lives together at even twice that age, but I want them to have good things in their life; things that help them feel happy and safe and like they can still feel comfortable in their own skin without having to appear more 'palatable' for people who've already decided that they don't like them. I want them to know that they've always deserved to live and they still deserve it now, I want that not just for Ashton but for all the Hells, and hopefully they'll all live to have it.
And most of all I want the people who hate them to be wrong about Ashton Greymoore, and I want Taliesin to prove them wrong.
#critical role#cr3#cr3 spoilers#c3 spoilers#c3e110#cr spoilers#bells hells#ashton greymoore#taliesin jaffe#matthew mercer#yes this is my ass coming to the defense of Ashton again#not saying Matt hates Ashton but they don't half give them a short straw when they're seeking answers#Ashton and I are very different (*) but there are similarities I feel also very strongly about that I'm compelled to put my foot down on#(*I kinda expect they'd steal my wallet but then return it after seeing my donor card and tell me how to not make it so easy to steal)#this is not angrily targeting everyone - it's a culmination of things I've bit my tongue on that I disagree with#there will be people who don't like Ashton for valid and fair reasons a valid and fair amount - this is not against you#but the hate guys - the hate! It ruins my day seeing it let alone thinking about it#and 110 still had a lot of fun and interesting things going on in it that I'd rather focus on#I was not in a great mood already for having missed ANOTHER set of auroras last night#I've stared at this for half an hour in drafts between posting and deleting - if things get more bitter I'll definitely be deleting it#this is not put out to debate this is just pure shouting to the ether#and what I shout to the ether is that 'Ashton Greymoore deserves to feel loved'#it's out but it's not gone from my system it just won't boil over again for a bit - but I still don't like having these vents#I'd much rather rant about fun and good things that make me happy and are a comfort to me
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cluescorner · 7 months ago
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Arlecchino's whole deal is unbelievable
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder what's causing my weird powers? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta become King and then kill my "Mother".
*Kills Clervie and "Mother"*
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I was able to defeat a Fatui Harbinger when I'm like 17 or so? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta be in jail and become a Harbinger.
*Is in jail for a while and becomes a Harbinger*
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I am-
Pierro: Hey what's up hello, anyways you're descended from the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri'ah. I'm sure that this is a lot for you to take in so-
Arlecchino: Ok.
Pierro: ...You're just cool with that?
Arlecchino: IDK maybe? I can't really worry about that at the moment, I'm a father now. This orphanage full of children I love (who also are child soldiers and are not allowed to leave or else I'll execute them except maybe now I'm just gonna wipe their memories IDK I'm morally complex) isn't gonna run itself.
*Runs the orphanage/spy recruitment initiative*
Me, the fucking player: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE KHAENRI'AN? WHY WASN'T THIS BROUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST?? OR ANYTHING ELSE????
Arlecchino, talking to me through my phone: I honestly don't know why you care, I'm too busy to give a shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go fight fate itself I guess. I'm sure that I don't share any thematic parallels with any other Khaenri'an characters (particularly as it relates to acting and family angst) and that I haven't made the idea of 'curses' on Khaenri'ans and what they entail even more complicated than they already were. See ya.
#arlecchino#genshin impact#pierro#WHY IS THE GAME FUCKING GLOSSING OVER THE FACT THAT SHE IS KHAENRI'AN?!#Not only that but she is the first Khaenri'an we've met (that we know of) who's from the Crimson Moon Dynasty#I'm so fucking confused#Did Celestia place a DIFFERENT curse on members of the Crimson Moon Dynasty?? Or is this stuff all of them can do???#HELP#She also seems almost...uninterested in the fact that she's descended from Khaenri'ah. Which honestly I think is interesting.#I don't know if I like it yet but when every other Khaenri'ah character has one of their major traits being that they super fucking#care that they are Khaenri'an (whether that be Kaeya with his paranoia/destiny/duty or Dain with his guilt over his failure/desire to#prevent our sibling from fucking with anything too much or whatever the fuck is going on with Pierro)#having a character who is Khaenri'an but doesn't seem to particularly be invested in that part of themself is different#she cares more about the curse and its effects on her then she ever really cares about the Crimson Moon Dynasty or the cataclysm#IDK I think it's neat from a character writing angle. or at least it has the potential to be if the writers do a good job.#But from a 'I like maybe 3 things in this game and one of them is Khaenri'ah' perspective it SUCKSSSSS#That part of the plot is already suffering from chronic live-service storytelling disease where people just straight up don't tell you#shit that they logically SHOULD BE TELLING YOU because the game needs to save plot points to build hype around#so for one of like 4-ish (depending on how much we count Albedo) Khaenri'an major characters to give us literally 1 and 1/2 voicelines#kinda sucks ngl. but again it's also interesting and realistic for Arlecchino and from that angle I like it#she doesn't care about what fate says her place in the world is. she's gonna carve her own and being Khaenri'an isn't relevant to#the life and identity she has built for herself. she isn't the type to look for answers she doesn't need. she's practical and efficient.#at the very least it's better than when Albedo 'I want to find all the world's truths' Kreideprinz doesn't let the audience in on his stuff
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tinystepsforward · 2 months ago
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ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".
like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!
on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.
returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body
literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence
#reblogs turned off because obviously i'm already bracing to be pilloried for saying one thing not quite correctly or whatever#and also bc i have zero interest in having this be boosted by trans dudes on their own transandrophobia agenda either#i'm just venting#but frankly the first time i got yelled at for saying that as an intersex person some of the immense violence i experienced as a child#was motivated by transmisogyny#i was a teenager and it was someone a fair bit older than me with more local clout so like. it's been a decade. how is it worse now.#intersex spaces have made SO much progress and yet#also yes i'm femme! i'm femme in a trans way! many dykes who aren't women are!#many of us got more comfortable w it as adults who had gender agency!#in literally the same way it took my wife ages after transitioning to work out she's also butch and doesn't actually want to do femme thing#bc that's a shared experience in how we've navigated the expectations of womanhood before opting out of the parts we don't want!#anyway the lawcomm shit was fucked bc honestl i don't give a shit if someone lost their gonads as an adult in an accident#they should be protected even if they don't consider themselves intersex#and we know that gender as an axis of oppression comes back to the reproduction of the nuclear family#and that cis women who can't have kids sometimes become the political football though ofc not as much by far and like#idk. y'all ever heard about solidarity? sometimes i feel like i'm back in the place where the loudest traumatised person at the party#is yelling at another young woman like “you'll never understand what it's like to be a victim”#when said young woman was assaulted the week before.#a politics that starts by defending and defining oneself w oppression kinda fucking sucks actually#and intersex people stopped policing intersexness by who got mutilated a long time ago#bc actually we want the generations ahead to not get that treatment#and when i see “trans elders” going on about how “if you pass and got on hrt before 18 you're not trans like i am” i'm like. why! what!#anyway. tired.#may regret this. we shall see#tony muses
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