#but i won’t get a decision for another one to three months

[takeawaythepain]

thank you all so much for your sweet messages about my disability hearing today! i read them again as i was waiting in the office and they gave me such a needed boost of love and support. i can’t tell you all how grateful i am <3

[cherienymphe]

White Lines & White Knights

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, pr*stitution, power imbalance, classism, mentions of death, jealousy, humiliation, revenge p*rn, drug dealer!Rafe, drug use, Pogue!reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics

summary: You and Rafe are using each other until you decide that's not what you want anymore, and the spoiled rich kid will do whatever it takes to have his expensive toy back in his bed.

⭑

Your door shut behind you with a resounding click, and once in the comfort of your home, you took the time to decompress. You took advantage of your much needed reprieve, the back of your head grazing the wood as you allowed your eyes to fall closed. Your heart was still beating wildly in your chest, and you wondered if a day would come where it ever wouldn’t. After all, this wasn’t exactly “new” anymore…

It had been five months since you buried your mom, five months since you discovered the mountain of debt she’d done an impressive job of hiding from you, and five months since you thought you’d be homeless on the street in less than one. In two weeks, you’d dealt with a loss you didn’t think you’d have to for at least another forty years or so and took on the kind of responsibility you didn’t think you’d have to for at least another three.

Your mom died 152 days ago…

…and you’d started fucking Rafe Cameron less than a month later.

You liked to pretend to not know why you slept with Kildare’s prime rich boy that fateful Saturday night, but you were far more self aware than you wanted to be. Even if you weren’t, it wasn’t exactly some mysterious string of decisions that lead to being tangled up in the sheets with Sarah’s asshole of an older brother. You didn’t need to pay someone to diagnose you.

You were grieving.

It was really just that simple, and the monetary stress on top of that drove you to find comfort in strange drinks and hard drugs. To this day you still didn’t know if Rafe just happened to be at the right place at the right time or if he heard whispers about John B.’s best friend snorting pills and getting shit faced when her usual crowd was looking the other way, but either way, the stuffy Kook clearly saw an opportunity to kill several birds with one stone.

“First two lines are free,” he’d told you that night, the bass of the music downstairs muffled by the expensive walls of some girl’s house.

You remembered how you’d chuckled, drunkenly shaking your head.

“Well, two lines is all I’m doing, I guess,” you’d murmured, throwing your hands up.

Rafe’s smirk had been cruel, a mocking glint in his blue eyes.

“What?” he’d dragged out, head tilted. “Spent all that life insurance money, already?”

Any other time and Rafe’s insensitivity might’ve upset you, but at the time you’d been drunk out of your mind and looking for more ways to forget the sudden absence in your life.

“I can’t imagine why Sarah hates you,” you’d sarcastically replied, approaching the impressive desk and leaning over to inhale a line.

You wiped your nose as you straightened, lashes fluttering as you ignored the feeling of Rafe’s gaze on you.

“I’ll be lucky if I even have a house to live in next week.”

The words had come out slurred, accompanied by a light chuckle, and deep down you’d felt the flutter of stress that you’d been desperately ignoring for weeks. You’d quickly snorted the other line, closing your eyes for a moment.

“Turns out my mom was skilled at hiding more than just illnesses…”

You remembered the silence—from both you and Rafe—and how in that moment you’d allowed yourself a solid four seconds of lingering on the reality of your predicament. In those four seconds, your eyes had watered and your lips had trembled and your throat had tightened, and after those four seconds, you were turning to Rafe with a haughty smile.

“Guess you won’t be finding a new client in me, huh?” you’d wondered with a shrug, finding a seat on the desk.

Rafe’s blue gaze had been unreadable as he eyed you, sitting in the chair at the desk, legs spread as he ran his eyes over you—slowly and in a way you didn’t hate at the time. You hadn’t been able to tell what he was thinking, although looking back, you wondered how it wasn’t so obvious to you then. Maybe because it was just too cruel of a thought, and while it was no secret Rafe was a spoiled asshole, you had never once thought of him as cruel.

Rafe had merely shrugged.

“There’s plenty of fish in the sea,” he’d slowly said, the corner of his pink lips curving upwards just a tad. “Besides…”

You’d watched him stand, rounding the desk to come and tower over you where you sat.

“I like to think of myself as a pretty ethical kind of guy…”

You’d started to snort at that before his gaze met yours again, and you found yourself swallowing whatever you were about to say. You hadn’t done a thing when Rafe reached up to touch your arm, the feel of his finger so light. You hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the way your heart skipped a beat at both his close proximity and the change in atmosphere. You hadn’t been able to ignore—however—the heat that settled in the pit of your stomach.

“...and I’ve been known to meet people halfway. Accept whatever they can offer…”

You remembered your internal conflict that night.

You’d been drunk and high and sad…not stupid. You knew exactly what Rafe was insinuating to you, and you’d struggled with the idea of really sleeping with Rafe Cameron for more drugs. The man was far from unattractive, sure that if drugs weren’t involved you’d still consider sleeping with him. If you’d believed in any of that, you’d imagine that your mom was turning over in her grave. At the time though, you hadn’t been quite sure as to what you believed in, so when he took your silence for consent, leaning in and touching your nose with his…

You hadn’t stopped him when he closed the distance.

You hadn’t even known whose house you were at, only internally apologizing to them for having sex on their expensive desk. You didn’t know if it was the drugs or the alcohol or simply Rafe Cameron, but it was easily the best sex you’d ever had in your life, and at one point you’d really considered how much better it could possibly be to fuck him without the condom.

You had no idea that you’d eventually find out.

Once dressed, you’d walked home with a small bag of pills and a satisfied grin. You knew that your friends would host some kind of intervention if they ever found out, but all you’d been able to focus on was the simple fact that fucking Rafe Cameron for a little coke and pills wasn’t sounding like the worst idea. Of course, if you’d known that you’d eventually start fucking him for your livelihood, you might’ve made different choices that night.

You pressed your hand to your face and pushed away from the door, eager to start the shower and scrub the stench of him off of you. Per routine, you took the money out of your pocket before getting undressed, eyeing the wad of one hundreds that now sat on your nightstand. Two grand was nothing to someone like him, but to someone like you, it made all the difference in the world.

…and Rafe knew that.

He’d known that when he handed you a thousand dollars one night, the coke in your system just starting to hit. You’d looked up at him from where you sat in confusion, hesitantly wrapping your hand around the money as you alternated between eyeing it and eyeing him. You hadn’t known how to feel about it, especially since it had only been moments ago when he was inside of you…and there he was handing you a grand in hundreds.

“Don’t look like that,” Rafe had chuckled, walking to his dresser in search of a shirt. “You know you need the money.”

He wasn’t wrong…and that was the problem.

Unless you hit a lucky streak in life, you’d always need the money, and that was exactly why you were in the predicament you were in—four months later and putting up with the monster that was Rafe Cameron just to keep a roof over your head. The thought brought tears to your eyes, positive now that your mom could see you and was beyond disappointed in you. 

Her disappointment could only be outdone by your own.

You were in a situation that you couldn’t get out of, on the verge of ending this arrangement so many times before asking yourself what better way could you pay your mom’s debts and survive? It wasn’t easy money by far, but it was fast money, and it was the kind of money that would take months to make at whatever low paying job you’d find around Outer Banks. Someone like you rarely got hired at the country club or working for some rich snob who wiped their ass with the kind of money you needed.

Rafe knew this too.

Tears kissed your eyes as you scrubbed your skin raw, wishing that you could scrub away the nasty bruise right along with the sweat and grime. You winced every time you touched it, cursing the blond and feeling one of those moments where you considered blocking him and moving on from this pathetic era in your life for good.

Fucking Rafe Cameron for drugs didn’t seem like a bad idea at the time, fucking him for money seemed like an even better one…until that entitled attitude started to extend to the woman he was paying good money to have access to. You remembered the first time you opposed something he wanted to do, the way in which he ignored you, the way he merely pressed your face into the pillow to shut you up.

It was the first time you felt truly icky about this whole situation.

Not even just icky.

…but afraid.

“I don’t pay you to tell me what you will and won’t do in bed,” he’d chuckled at you like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.

You’d still been trembling and wiping mascara from your cheeks.

“I pay you because I want to fuck you,” he’d slowly whispered to you, leaning in. “...and you let me because you don’t want to be sleeping on the beach.”

He’d held your gaze for what felt like too long, impressing upon you the true dynamic of this arrangement, and you remembered the unease that had festered in your gut that day. Maybe all the drugs and alcohol hadn’t allowed you to fully look at this arrangement for what it was and the power imbalance here, but you had for the first time that day, and you hadn’t liked it.

You liked it even less now, wrapping the towel around you and wondering how you were ever going to get out of this predicament you’d put yourself into.

“My family’s going out of town for the weekend,” the familiar blond mumbled to you as he inhaled a familiar powdery substance off the back of his hand. “Pack a bag when you get home, and I’ll pick you up tomorrow night.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at that, huffing instead.

“I can’t spend the whole weekend on Figure 8,” you told him. “I have plans.”

Rafe nodded, and you hated the smile that danced across his lips.

“Okay, uh, be ready at 8, I don’t want-.”

“Rafe, I’m serious,” you cut him off, shrugging. “I can’t stay at your house all weekend.”

You watched him watch you, slowly swiping his tongue between his lips as a frown started to take over. His dirty blond hair kissed his brows, and the longer the silence stretched, the more nervous you grew. You watched as Rafe glanced away, seemingly deep in thought before those baby blues of his rested on you, much colder than they were a few seconds ago.

“What the hell am I paying you for?” he whispered.

The question was rhetorical, and you swallowed.

“Rafe…I’ve barely seen my friends in months. I finally made plans to meet up with them for more than five minutes and-.”

“...and whose fault is that?” he shrugged.

You frowned at him.

“Nobody told you to go off on a bender when your mom kicked the bucket…” you blinked at his callousness. “Maybe you should’ve been finding comfort in your friends instead of drugs and vodka…and me.”

He finished his sentence with a soft—and yet cruel—smile.

“I pay you good money—great money even!—to be available when I want you to be, and unless you’ve found some other rich asshole to open your legs for, which I doubt…be ready tomorrow at 8.”

He was standing, now, looking down at you where you sat on the bed. The harsh reminder of your roles here had you looking away, and Rafe turned away when he rightfully took your silence as confirmation. You stared at the wall for a few moments before turning to stare at his back, thinking to yourself that this couldn’t go on much longer. Whether it took 1 or 5 jobs, you couldn’t keep relying on Rafe Cameron forever.

What was once a weekly occurrence had turned into something entirely other, and it hadn’t bothered you so much when your mother’s death was still so fresh and you were seeking solace in the worst coping mechanisms known to man—including isolation. Now, however, you were waking up to the choices you’d made and you hated the feeling of being inebriated and being surrounded by people you barely knew.

You hated being away from your friends.

“I didn’t even know you’d gotten a job,” John B. said to you hours later, looking disappointed but understanding. “JJ’s gonna be real disappointed. He’s been talking all week about having you try some new weed he got.”

You gave a light laugh at that, a pang in your chest at how much you missed doing stupid shit with them.

“Yeah,” you sadly said. “The world—and bills—doesn’t stop just because my mom died.”

The brunette grew quiet at that, worriedly eyeing you now.

“You doing okay…?”

You sighed at that, looking out over the yard of The Chateau, fiddling with your fingers as you thought of a certain blond.

“I’ve been better, but…I’ve been worse too.”

Your answer was honest, and you briefly wondered what John B. would think if he knew just how bad ‘worse’ had been. You didn’t think any of them would hate you if they knew the full extent of just how far you’d fallen, but you knew they’d have a hard time wrapping their head around it. The drugs and alcohol were one thing, but Rafe Cameron was entirely another. The man was the worst example of a Kook if there was one, representing every bad trait attributed to them.

Your friends would not understand you essentially sacrificing your self respect for money and drugs.

Sometimes you didn’t understand it either. 

Most especially when Rafe had his hands around your neck.

He picked you up at 8 on the dot Friday night—a man of his word if nothing else—and less than a hour later you were bent over his father’s desk as he pounded into you. Your head was hanging off of it, fighting hard to not scrape your nails against the dark mahogany. It wasn’t the first time Rafe fucked you on Ward’s desk, and you doubted that it would be the last time. There’d even been a few rare occasions when he fucked you in the older man’s bed, and you didn’t know what complex the blond had that fueled these decisions, but you weren’t a psychologist so you figured it wasn’t anything to concern yourself with.

Despite the tight grip on your throat, a choked moan managed to escape every time Rafe pushed his cock into you. Sweat made his skin glisten, and you were sure you fared no better. His hair wasn’t so neat, now, and you had the stray thought that you preferred it that way. Rafe being so far from ugly definitely made this arrangement easier to swallow down at times, but other times it just made you angry.

How was it fair that someone seemingly had everything, including the big dick to match?

Rafe walked around like he was God’s gift to the world, possessing one of the most rotten personalities you’d ever had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of, and he seemed to be rewarded with it with everything the average person could only dream about. As if any of that wasn’t enough, you practically rewarded him with even more by essentially telling him he could do whatever he wanted so long as the price was right.

It made you disgusted with yourself at times.

When he pressed a hand to your stomach, hips slowing to a pace that made your breath hitch, you squeezed your eyes shut. In the quiet office, the sound of his cock disappearing between your folds was loud, the wet noise telling you that there’d no doubt be a mess left on Ward’s desk when this was all said and done. You heard Rafe curse, and you didn’t have the energy to lift your head from where it hung off the desk.

“...and to think,” he panted from above you. “You were going to pass this up to sit around with those dirty Pogues.”

At this, you did attempt to sit up, a hand against his chest and one on the desk as he thrusted into you.

“Those ‘dirty Pogues’ are my friends,” you forced out, lashes fluttering. “...and clearly you forget that I’m one too.”

Rafe merely chuckled at that, perfect teeth winking at you as he grinned.

“Yeah, but you’re my dirty Pogue so it’s a little different.”

His words had your frown deepening, disgust filling your chest at the way he talked about you while literally fucking you. Completely turned off, you turned your head away, attempting to separate yourself from him. That haughty laugh reached your ears, and to your dismay, he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer.

“What…?” he lazily drawled. “You don’t like the sound of that?”

“You’re being an asshole, get off of me…”

He jerked his hips against you, making you gasp, and you squirmed in his arms as you fought to get away. Rafe leaned in to harshly nip his teeth at your cheek, his movements growing rough, causing the desk to shake.

“I’ve spent too much money on you to not say whatever the hell I want,” he evenly said. “So, yeah, at this point, I’ll confidently say I practically own you.”

Tears kissed your eyes at the disgusting words, and fed up with your resistance, Rafe merely placed a hand between your breasts before harshly shoving you back down. You winced at the action, but you had no time to fully linger on it as Rafe started to roughly plunge his cock into you, the sound of his skin slapping against yours reaching your ears. He wouldn’t allow you to sit up, both of his hands wrapped around your wrists now as he leaned over you.

This felt too reminiscent of the time he’d pressed your face into the bed, telling you to relax as he pressed the head of his cock just above where your folds were. You recalled the uncomfortable feeling and the tears that stained the pillow as he slowly fucked you in a place no one ever had before. The deja vu of it all had your mind wandering, eyes defocusing as you just waited for it to be over. It seemed like Rafe’s grunts sounded from above you forever, and when he finally came onto your stomach with a low moan, you didn’t move for some time.

You were slow to sit up as he got dressed, trembling as you steaded yourself for what you were about to say.

“I don’t wanna do this anymore.”

The words came out whispered, but in the quiet study, you might as well have yelled them. Rafe didn’t acknowledge you, and you knew it wasn’t because he hadn’t heard you. Frustrated with his refusal to take you seriously, you hopped off of Ward’s desk, angrily grabbing your clothes.

“I’m serious, Rafe. After this weekend…this is done,” you continued, voice firmer, now. “Don’t call me or text me or worry about any more money. I can’t rely on you forever anyway.”

By now, Rafe was actually listening to you, and you avoided his gaze as you got dressed. His silence was loud, and when you were finally decent again, only then did you lift your gaze to glance at him. His visage was unreadable, and after some time, he merely blinked at you.

“If I remember correctly, per your own words, your mom had enough debt ‘to file for bankruptcy’.”

His words made you sharply inhale, and you bit your tongue as he ran his hands through his hair in a poor attempt to tame the damp locks.

“Don’t ruin your life just because you’re pissed at me,” he coldly added.

You crossed your arms over your chest, pulling your lip between your teeth.

“Personal feelings aside, I can’t rely on you forever, Rafe. That’s just the truth. I have to figure something out eventually, and there’s no time like the present,” your voice shook as he fixed you with an unnerving stare. “I miss my friends, and I don’t want to be the sad, damaged girl running to Rafe Cameron just so I don’t feel anything anymore.”

The blond followed your lead, folding his arms over his own chest as he leaned against the wall, staring you down with that annoying crooked smile.

“...and where exactly do you plan to find a job that pays you what I do?”

“There are jobs, Rafe. I’ll find one.”

You didn’t appreciate his tone nor the look he was giving you as he studied you. He was looking down on you, and yes while that wasn’t exactly an unusual occurrence, this time was different. He was looking down his nose like he didn’t believe in you, like he expected you to be crawling back to him in no time, begging him to fuck you again.

After a few moments, that crooked smile curved even more, and you didn’t miss the glint in his eyes.

“Well, I wish you luck…”

His voice didn’t match the words that came out of his mouth, and his gaze most certainly didn’t.

“I literally called this morning and was told over the phone that you all were hiring...and now I get here, and I’m being told you’re not…?”

You tried to keep the skepticism out of your tone, but your frustration at your predicament was bubbling up and threatening to be unleashed on the lone man before you. The inside of the country club was practically empty—a slow Tuesday—and you briefly glanced around at the two staffers in the whole room. Sure, you could write it off to a slow day that didn’t need a full staff, but something in you told you that it was more than that.

You didn’t believe the man in front of you.

“Look, I don’t know what else to tell you, miss. Whoever you talked to got it wrong. I’m sorry for the miscommunication on our end,” was his only explanation.

You didn’t dare bother to point out that both he and whoever you’d spoken with on the phone sounded damn near identical.

When it became obvious that this conversation was over, you turned away with a small huff, breezing outside to a familiar dark car. Kie was standing by it, arms uncomfortably crossed over her chest, glaringly obvious that she’d rather be anywhere but here despite being from ‘here’.

“Well…?” she wondered as you got closer.

“They’re not hiring,” you mumbled as you slid into the passenger seat.

She joined you inside the vehicle a moment later, a frown on her face.

“...but you called.”

“I know.”

There was a beat of silence before she scoffed, reaching for her door handle.

“If this is because you aren’t some rich snob looking for play money…”

She trailed off when you spoke up.

“No, I don’t…I don’t think it’s that,” you stopped her. “Let’s just go.”

She eyed you for a few moments, frown deepening.

“Are you sure? Y/N, this is like the fourth place you’ve been to today,” she pointed out. “...and I don’t want to add my stress to your stress, but it’s kind of fucked up.”

You didn’t have the heart to tell her that it wasn’t possible for you to be any more stressed than you already were, simply signaling for her to drive. You could feel her eyes periodically landing on you as she did, and you chewed on the inside of your cheek, wondering why the universe had it out for you.

It had been weeks since you’d last seen or talked to Rafe, weeks since you ended your little arrangement, and weeks since you’d had a consistent source of income. It wasn’t a pretty nor respectable way to make money, but you’d been making money nonetheless. However, you couldn’t find it in you to continue sacrificing your self respect to keep sleeping with Rafe Cameron. You’d also been telling the truth when you told him you didn’t want to be this messed up sad thing anymore.

You had long let go of the drugs and cut back on the drinking, and now you’d dropped Rafe too.

You’d had hope…but now it was dwindling.

No one would hire you. In fact, no one had even allowed you far enough to officially apply just to get a foot into an interview. It was always the same. You’d call ahead so you didn’t waste your time, they’d tell you they were looking for people, and then the moment you actually showed up and introduced yourself, it was an entirely different story. It didn’t make any sense to you, and the thought of ever proving Rafe right made you want to be sick.

“How bad is it?” JJ asked you a few days later, the both of you away and isolated in some corner of some guy’s party.

You looked down at the weak drink in your hand, contemplating on whether or not to be honest.

“It’s…manageable.”

A whopper of a lie.

“...then why don’t I believe you? Come on, Y/N, it’s me. I know your mom wasn’t the best when it came to funds, and when she died…” he scoffed. “You weren’t exactly in any shape to march down to anyone’s job and fight for work just to keep things afloat.”

You looked away at that, throat tight.

“I’m honestly shocked you’ve kept it up for this long.”

If only he knew…

You felt his gaze on you as you wondered just how truthful you should be, but you reminded yourself that this was JJ. If he knew the full extent of everything, he’d be likely to rob a bank. Nevermind the fact that it would just make him ask more questions, like how you’d even managed to keep things afloat all this time. You didn’t think you could lie to him, and you didn’t think you could handle being on the receiving end of whatever look JJ would undoubtedly give you if you told him you’d been sleeping with Rafe to pay your bills.

You didn’t know if it was fortunate or unfortunate that the subject of your thoughts walked through the doors to prevent this conversation from continuing. His presence shouldn’t have shocked you—the party was pretty mixed with people from all sides of the island after all—but it still gave you pause, and JJ noticed.

“This asshole,” you heard the blond murmur, rolling his eyes.

You were inclined to agree, and you shrunk in on yourself with your drink, unable to ignore the knowledge that Rafe was at the same party you were at. In the weeks you’d been free of him, you’d had time to really ponder on your dalliance, and while you’d long accepted your hand in your own life choices, it was now hard to ignore Rafe’s own opportunistic choices in the situation. Sure, yes, you fucked him for money…

…but what did it say about him that he was perfectly happy to enter an arrangement in which he kept you off of the streets so long as you opened your legs for him?

If he was a good guy he’d just…keep you off the streets.

Like JJ would if you ever told him the truth.

You’d just decided to stop hiding in the bathroom when you came face to face with the man himself, heart skipping a beat at his presence. He was leaning against the wall next to the door, and you had the sneaking suspicion he hadn’t been waiting for his turn.

“How’s the job search going?” was how he greeted you, and you hadn’t been able to keep the ire off of your face.

He softly laughed to himself at that, nodding.

“I figured you’d look a little something like that.”

“Fuck you,” you breathed, and Rafe frowned, tilting his head to the side.

“You were, remember? And then you stopped…and that’s how you found yourself back at square one,” he reminded you.

The music traveled from downstairs into the dimly lit hallway, and you looked away from him just as he heaved a tired sigh.

“Do I need to apologize for calling you and your friends dirty Pogues? Is that what this is about?” he lazily wondered.

You didn’t dignify that with a response, and when you lifted your gaze, Rafe was rolling his eyes. He fixed you with a look, reaching up to touch your hair with a tsk.

“Come on, Y/N. You need me…”

He leaned in.

“We both know it, and you’re never going to find a job in this town.”

“You don’t know that,” you fired back, slapping his hand away as you took a step away from him.

Almost instantaneously, Rafe’s entire expression morphed, and you swallowed at the shadow that passed over his features. His pink lips pressed together, and those blue eyes hardened in a way you’d never been on the receiving end of. You watched his nostrils flare.

“Oh, trust me, I know.”

The combination of his tone and his expression and his words gave you pause, and your brows pulled together as you stared at him. For a moment, the music in the house faded into the background as Kie’s words came to your mind. ‘It’s kind of messed up’, she’d said, and while you hadn’t given that much thought to the statement then…you certainly were now.

“What did you do?” you shakily asked the blond, skin growing cold.

Rafe didn’t answer right away, and when he did, it was a lie anyway.

“I don’t know what you mean,” was all he said, one brow raised.

You felt tears kiss your eyes, and you felt silly for not putting the pieces together earlier. You didn’t know how, but somehow, Rafe had a hand in your lack of employment. It seemed exactly like something he’d do, but the only thing you couldn’t understand was why. Why do it? Just to see you fail? Just to feel like he’d won?

“Look, this little rebellious act…it’s cute and amusing and all…” he shrugged off with a small smile. “...but it’s silly. We both know you’re just going to end up right back under me.”

“You’re such an asshole,” you hissed, moving past him.

“Yeah, and you knew that when you let me fuck you for drugs on some guy’s desk,” he threw at you, making you flinch and slow down. 

“I was going through things then, Rafe! I didn’t…” you huffed a sigh, turning to glower at him. “I didn’t care about things I most definitely should have. It’s different now.”

You threw your hands up.

“I’m different, now, and I don’t want to keep sacrificing my dignity and self respect just to keep a roof over my head. I don’t want to sleep with someone who views me and anyone like me as beneath him. It disgusts me, and unlike you, I have no interest in sleeping with people who I claim disgust me.”

You watched Rafe’s lip curl over his teeth.

“Yeah, that’s real respectable and noble and all, but I wonder how noble it’ll feel when you’re being evicted,” he spat at you, moving closer. “You’re not getting a job in this town, that I can promise you, so you keep this up for as long as you want to, but we both know how this ends.”

You leaned away from the finger in your face.

“I fucking own you,” he bit out, roughly grabbing your arm and yanking you close despite your resistance. “You named your price, and I paid it-.”

“For a service! Not a person,” you harshly whispered.

Rafe’s chuckle was cold as he stared you down, perfect teeth winking at you.

“You think you’re the only girl in Outer Banks willing to spread her legs for some money? You think I’d have to pay any of them half of what I paid you?” your stomach dropped at his words. “I’ve been a lot more generous than you realize.”

He roughly let you go, practically shoving you away from him, and you stumbled. He eyed you with an expression filled with promise, and when you turned away to finally find your friends and hopefully leave, you descended the stairs on unsteady legs.

You pushed against Rafe’s arm and chest as he held your chin in a tight grip. The vehicle you were next to hid you both from view, everyone on the beach none the wiser to what was happening in the parking lot. Your feet tripped over one another as he forced you back, trapping you between him and the metal contraption.

“Is that what you came up with? You think that pathetic Pogue is going to pay your bills? Give you a place to stay when that eviction notice is taped to your door?”

“Get…off…of me,” you snarled, finally shoving him away with difficulty.

Your breathing was heavy as you glared at the blond, lips trembling and heart racing at the downright evil glint in his blue eyes. You glanced over his shoulder for any way to get away from him, your frustration growing as he moved closer.

“Color me curious, but is it somehow more dignified to fuck someone like JJ instead of me?”

The jealousy dripping from his every word threw you for a loop, and you weren’t in the right headspace to even linger on how strange that was.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but we’re not like that,” you drunkenly choked out. “I don’t know why you feel like I need to answer to you about my personal choices.”

It had only been thirty minutes ago that you were dancing with your friends. JJ—ever the flirt—had gotten a bit handsy, but it was nothing unusual. He could get handsy with a tree, and you’d merely smiled at the behavior, ignorant to the heated gaze that was hyper focused on you. You hadn’t even realized he’d been following you when you went to get a drink from Hayward’s truck.

“Butt out of my life already. You’ve already done enough,” you hissed at him, moving to get past him when he stopped you.

“We’re not done talking-.”

His words were interrupted by your hand, the sound of the slap echoing in your ears, and he’d just harshly pushed you against the car at your back when a familiar voice interrupted you both.

“Get off of her!”

Kie was suddenly there, helping you in shoving him away, and she looked at Rafe like he’d lost his mind—like she’d bore witness to an even sinister side to him. The blond didn’t seem all that fazed by her presence, barely sparing her a glance as his jaw clenched, his eyes on you. Clearly he felt that whatever he was contemplating wasn’t worth it, because without another word—but not without a final scoff—he made his way back to the party on the beach.

Kie wrapped her arms around you when you started to cry.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

What a loaded question, and you realized that the truth was just on the edge of your tongue. Unable to stop yourself, you threw your arms around her, collapsing under the weight of all your choices and what had led you to make them.

“Kie,” you started, voice trembling in her ear. “I have to tell you something.”

If she was horrified by the truth, she didn’t show it much. You could tell she was shocked as the words tumbled from your lips, her brown eyes stricken and face draining of color. You didn’t know what bothered her more—the drugs, the prostitution, or that both involved Rafe Cameron. As it turns out, it was none of those things.

“Why didn’t…why didn’t you let us help you?” she tearfully wondered, looking between your eyes. “We know how hard it’s been for you, and we wanted to be there for you, but you…you just disappeared. You barely came around, and John B. heard things, but he didn’t want to believe them.”

She whispered that last part, and your chest ached at the thought of your friends hearing about your out of character behavior but feeling powerless to stop it, accepting it as part of your grief.

“Rafe’s a demented asshole,” she finally spoke on the elephant in the room. “...and we won’t let him win, okay?”

There was conviction in Kie’s voice, the kind of conviction that made you want to believe her, and so you nodded at her words.

She helped you straighten, wiping your face and taking you back to the party, quietly promising you that she wouldn’t say anything about any of this to the guys. She stuck to you for the rest of the night, and a week later, she made good on her promise, her parents shaking your hand as they welcomed you to their staff.

“We could always use the extra hands,” Mrs. Carrera told you one Friday evening. “It gets crazy busy, especially on the weekends.”

All the noise in the restaurant only validated her statement.

You’d been working at The Wreck for a week, and while it was nothing like what Rafe had been paying you, it was a job. It was a means of earning your own money that didn’t involve lowering yourself to the likes of Rafe Cameron. It was grueling, sure, and you sometimes wondered if it was truly worth the money, but then you’d think of the alternative, and you’d decide that it was worth something and that’s what mattered.

You hadn’t been paying that much attention when you approached your last table for the night, looking up from the apron at your waist and stopping in your tracks.

“Hey, I didn’t know you worked here too,” Topper said, a fairly neutral greeting.

Topper may have been just as much of an asshole as his friends, but he at least played nice for the public. Your gaze traveled around the table, quickly looking away when it connected with a familiar blue.

“It’s…a fairly new gig,” you finally said, getting your notepad ready.

“Hey, if you’re going to use your friends for anything, might as well use them to become a productive member of society,” he told you, his tone now making you frown.

Opting to ignore the comment, you asked them what they wanted. You didn’t make eye contact with Rafe when he gave you his order, hand unsteady as you wrote it down. When you left them to go and get their drinks, you weren’t surprised to hear the scrape of a chair behind you. You were focused on rounding the counter, reaching for some clean glasses.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

You didn’t forget your last encounter with the rich blond, tempted to ignore his presence altogether, but you were unfortunate enough to know how Rafe operated. Pausing in your movements, you turned to look at him, not surprised at all by the unhappy look on his face.

“I’m working, Rafe. What does it look like?”

You eyed the way his jaw ticked, finger gently tapping against the counter as he simply…stared you down. You glanced away, realizing that he didn’t have any power over you anymore. No, you weren’t completely out of the woods, but you had a secured source of income, and you’d happily struggle and scrape over sleeping with Rafe ever again.

“Go find some other struggling girl to take advantage of,” you finally said to him, grabbing their drinks and making your way to their table without a backwards glance.

Working at The Wreck was hard work, and no matter how many shifts you covered and how many tips you got, it was still long and hard work for half the money Rafe had ever paid you. You knew this when Kie came to you about the job, but on the other side of it, you were so beyond grateful for it. You were still stressed, of course, your monetary problems not going away anytime soon, but it was the normal stress of the average working twenty-something.

It wasn’t the kind of worry that came from a violent and abusive lover.

Rafe had been by the restaurant a few times since that day, and each time was more nerve-wracking than the last. Sometimes you served him, sometimes you didn’t, but it didn’t really matter because his gaze always found its way to you either way. On the days when Kie worked too, she’d ask you if you wanted her to do something about him, but you always declined.

After all, what reason would you have her give to her parents for kicking out the son of Ward Cameron who—to their knowledge—hadn’t done anything to warrant it?

Maybe you should’ve listened to Kie though. While you didn’t know if that would’ve changed things, you at least would have felt better about attempting to do something. Perhaps it was the mere sight of watching you work—watching you earn money independent of him—that made him snap, made him drop all pretenses completely. Barring him from the restaurant while you were there might’ve triggered some out of sight, out of mind response. It might’ve forced him to slowly get over whatever this thing was that he had about you.

It might have…

…and it also might not have done shit. Perhaps nothing would’ve changed, and you still would’ve found yourself tearfully staring at Kie’s mom as you took off your apron for the last time.

It was a normal Saturday when the texts and emails came through. The busiest day of the week, the most packed the restaurant ever would be for the next six days, and you’d been placing some fries down in front of some family’s kid when the noise in the restaurant…changed. You hadn’t been able to pinpoint how it changed, but if you did your best, it was like the chatters went from excitement about their food or whatever happened during the week to something else entirely.

One single thing that everyone was talking about.

You weren’t getting paid to mind your patrons’ business, but you started to think differently about that when the people at the table you were next to started to heavily eye you. The whole restaurant was loud with hushed chatter, so you couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the glances between the phones in their hands and you had you frowning.

You were slowly glancing around—realizing that that table wasn’t the only one—when you were yanked by your arm off the floor.

“What are you doing? What’s going on?” you worriedly wondered the moment Kie had you hidden from view.

The look on her face was hard to read, but her parted lips and wide eyes told you that she was horrified. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, seemingly unable to get the words out before slamming it shut, swallowing. The combination of her expression, her silence, and the lack of silence out there had a ball of dread forming deep in your gut.

“Kie,” you softly said. “What…what’s wrong?”

It took her a moment to speak.

“It’s Rafe,” she softly said.

Your confusion only grew, still not quite understanding. 

“What happened? Is he bothering you? Did…he do something to you?” you hesitantly asked, fearful that your former tormentor had turned his sights onto your friend.

“Not to me.”

That simple sentence started to put the pieces together, and you turned your face towards the front of the restaurant, recalling the stares and whispers and listening to the excited chatter. Your skin grew cold, goosebumps erupting all over you, and that dread was long gone. It was instead replaced by nausea.

“He sent everyone something…”

“No,” you heard yourself whisper.

“...a video.”

You turned to her with wide eyes, shaking your head in disbelief. Glancing down, you caught sight of her phone in her hand, and before Kie could stop you, you’d snatched it out of her grip. You moved out of her reach as she extended her arm, desperately trying to protect you, but it was too late.

You felt like you were weighed down by bricks as you stared at the two familiar faces on the screen.

It had to have been taken months ago, during one of the first few times you’d slept with him. You both were in Ward’s bedroom, and you remembered the day all too well, recalling the feel of his palm striking your skin and his voice in your ear before pulling your head down to his lip. Of course, it was that one and not one of the ones where he’d held you down and forced you to take his thrusts.

Your hand was empty, not even realizing when Kie had taken it back, simply staring into space at the memory of what was on that screen.

“Y/N, when my parents find out—and they’re going to find out—they…”

Her words died in the air at the sound of footsteps behind you, and you flinched when you heard a familiar voice call your name. Mrs. Carerra didn’t sound happy, and her expression fared no better when you turned around. You couldn’t stop your tears from spilling over as she gestured for you to follow her further into the back of the restaurant. You knew what was coming, what Kie was trying to prepare you for.

It was what Rafe wanted, after all…and he’d gotten it.

It was hours later when you were sitting with your back against your door, your phone turned off, overwhelmed by the influx of missed calls and messages from your friends. You’d only gotten a glimpse at them before finding your head bent inside of your toilet. Every single one of them bar Kie were shocked, their horror and confusion clear as day through their words. Only Pope had eventually sent a text that asked if you were okay.

…and the truth was that you weren’t.

You were so far from okay.

Rafe had won, he’d gotten exactly what he wanted, and even though Mrs. Carerra had expressed sympathy for your plight—more angry at the situation than anything else—she’d still had no choice but to let you go. Every other business in town valued the Cameron family way too much, and the only place that had been willing to hire you had been swayed by Rafe too in the worst manner possible.

It was well after midnight when your door shook from harsh knocks. You hadn’t moved in hours, just blankly staring at the wall, and you closed your eyes at the sound, positive it was one of your friends. You didn’t have the strength to face them, to answer questions and either break down or pretend you felt far better than you actually did.

You did, however, have the strength to face Rafe, your gaze lifting when his voice met your ears, demanding that you open the door.

His fist was still in the air when you swung it open, looking at him like he was something you’d find on the bottom of your shoes. He looked as put together as ever, completely unfazed by what he’d done. And why wouldn’t he be? This wouldn’t hurt his reputation and success in this town a bit. If nothing else, the video would have even more girls falling at his feet, but for some reason he didn’t seem to want that.

He preferred to force your hand instead.

“What is wrong with you?” you tearfully asked him, throat tight.

He didn’t respond right away, touching his tongue to his lip as his gaze roamed behind you.

“You gonna let me in?”

Your eyes almost popped out of your sockets, and he gave a haughty laugh.

“It’s not like I’ve left you with much of a choice, now, have I?”

He sounded so…proud of himself, and all you could do was cry as he brushed past you. He closed the door for you, noticing that you were struggling to move, and he kept his hand on the wood, his chest grazing your back as he pressed his face into your hair. You heard him deeply inhale, and you squeezed your eyes shut.

“I told you how this would end,” he whispered. “I gave you a chance to be smart about this.”

You went to move away from him, but his other hand shot out to grip your arm.

“You’re the one who made things way more difficult than they needed to be.” he continued. “We had a good thing going…and then you had to go and get sensitive and sentimental.”

When he forced you to face him, you kept your eyes on the collar of his shirt. The silence stretched as you refused to look at him, and you eventually heard Rafe heave a sigh. He let your arm go, and you watched him reach into his pocket, disappointed but not surprised by the roll of one hundred dollar bills he pulled out. When he straightened, he took your hand and placed the money in your palm, clasping your hands together.

A few more tears escaped when his fingers threaded through yours.

“Do you still feel like fighting this?” he quietly asked. “Let me know, right now, because I have all the time—and money—in the world.”

He slowly pulled you closer.

“You don’t.”

You shakily exhaled, reluctantly lifting your gaze to meet his own. You stared at one another for what felt like too long, and when he leaned in, taking your silence as defeat, you let him kiss you. It was a salty kiss, your own tears mixing in, but Rafe didn’t seem to mind, moving his lips against yours with a growing smile. His arm snaked its way around your waist, and the animalistic noise he let out told you just how excited he was to have you back under his thumb.

The couch seemed sufficient enough for him, bringing you both to it as he peeled your clothes off. You shuddered as the air hit your naked skin, thoughtlessly moving closer to his own body heat, and Rafe pressed a kiss to your shoulder as he laid you down. It felt like ages since you’d last slept with him, but you knew that wasn’t why you were trembling.

You were trembling because you finally realized you were sleeping with a monster. Before, Rafe had just been an opportunistic asshole to you. Rich, spoiled, selfish, the list went on, but now he was so much more than that. He was now someone who’d raped you on more than one occasion, and who had proved that he’d do anything to make you completely reliant on no one but him.

How else could he ensure that you’d never leave him? Never have any other choices but him? You’d eventually have to leave Outer Banks one day, you knew that to be true if you ever wanted a life independent of him, but that video could follow you around for the rest of your life, and very probably would.

When Rafe sheathed himself inside of you, stretching you out in a way that was regularly familiar to you, you gasped. The blond wasted no time in adopting a steady pace, fucking you hard against your couch, his fingers pressing into the arm of it. His grunts were soft in your ears, and despite your combined hatred and fear of him, you weren’t able to swallow down the whimpers that escaped your lips too.

You didn’t know what kind of hard on Rafe had for fucking someone he deemed so far beneath him, even more so to go through so much trouble of forcing you right back into his bed. You didn’t understand it one bit, and part of you never wanted to. You didn’t want to understand a thing that went on inside of his head, didn’t want to understand the thought process behind doing what he’d done to you.

His fingers scraped down your thigh before yanking you forward as he sat up some, looking down to where his cock disappeared into you. He was focused on the sight, lips parting as he panted from above you. He didn’t lean back down until your leg was over his shoulder, preventing you from moving much as he used you to chase his high, hips repeatedly curving against yours and forcing you to grip the couch.

“I missed this pussy so much,” he murmured, lips grazing the corner of your mouth as he spoke. “You drive me crazy, you know that?”

You hadn’t before, but you did, now.

When his hand landed on your throat, it didn’t hurt, but his thumb applied just enough pressure to keep you alert.

“I’ll stop calling your friends dirty Pogues if that makes you feel better,” he whispered, a gentle kiss from his lips to yours. “...but you still belong to me.”

[whaddayadothatfor]

Ctenizidae

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x Fem!Reader

Summary: You’re an anomaly from another universe. You’re not dangerous though, so Miguel’s made the executive decision to keep you around until more dangerous criminals are caught and sent home first. Unless that’s not the only reason he’s decided to keep you around…

Content warnings: dub-con, voyeurism, masturbation, obsessive!Miguel

WC: ~1k

AN: Y’all this is so unedited but I wanted to write smut for this man so I did! If y’all like it I can post a second, smuttier part.

MDNI

“Here.” You drop a small plastic bin of chocolate chip cookies in front of Miguel. As a peace offering. No, really.

Miguel raises his right eyebrow in question. He doesn’t even answer you anymore. The other Spider-people go about their day in the cafeteria, having seen this scene time and time again.

Every day for the past two weeks since you were suddenly teleported to Nueva York and promptly labeled an anomaly, you’ve been practically begging Miguel to send you home. He’s declined every time.

This is pretty much how the conversation goes each time:

“Miguel, I think I should—“

“No. We have to send the most dangerous anomalies back to their universe first—“

“I’m dangerous! I’m plenty dangerous.”

“The only thing you’ve maimed, tortured, and killed in the past month is a flippin’ houseplant. You’re staying.”

You see how frustrating this man is?

So you’ve decided that maybe bribery— sorry, a peace offering— will work better. Hence, the cookies.

“Maybe if you eat something sweet you’ll stop being so bitter and stubborn all the time,” you smile tightly. “Then you’ll find it in your heart— the one that shrunk three sizes— to let me go home.”

“I appreciate the offering— though you could use some more creativity in your approach— but just know that these won’t get you home.” He pries open the container and lifts one to his mouth before moaning in delight. “These are delicious. Thank you,” he said, sucking the melted chocolate off of his thumb. His overly enthusiastic groans were clearly a tactic to piss you off, and it worked.

You simmer in anger as he smirks while chewing his cookie. You try to snatch the bin back, but he moves it out of your way.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he says, pushing up from the small table he was sitting at and leaning down to whisper near your ear. “No take-backsies.”

He flustered you, and he knew it. He laughed as he walked away. You stuttered a retort in embarrassment, but he didn’t even have the decency to turn around.

“Ugh, I hate that guy,” you stomped in anger. You muttered several curses before you turned around to leave, only to see several wide-eyed Spideys staring at you in concern. This is why you wait until after you’re alone to throw a tantrum— it scares the locals. Whoops. “Uhh, carry on. My bad. Enjoy your lunch!”

You quickly walk away, feeling defeated. But it doesn’t matter, you’ve got nothing but time. You’ll catch him when he’s sleeping. He’s gotta be more amenable then.

Later

“You know, just for the record, I think you going to his room this late at night is a terrible idea,” Lyla warned as she flitted between standing and reclining with her arms crossed behind her neck.

“Well I think him keeping me here is a terrible idea. I guess we’re all full of them.”

“Seriously—“

“Lyla I don’t care! I’ve got a family to get back to. Friends, a life. I don’t care how fine that man is, I’m going back home. Tonight, preferably.”

“Whatever, it’s your funeral.” She acquiesced before disappearing into the ether, just as you arrived at his door.

“Wait, Lyla! Open the door.” Without a response, the door opened. “Thanks, Lyla.”

You walked in to the large room to see Miguel sitting up in a chair near the center of the room.

“Miguel, you need to listen to me—“

The sight that met you was so shocking you had to take it in one part at a time.

First, You see Miguel’s side profile as he faces the wall to the left of you. He’s breathing heavy, chest heaving as his hand vigorously moves up and down his— oh. Maybe you came at the wrong time.

With the sudden awkwardness that’s overtaken you, you look somewhere else, anywhere else, only to find the source of what he’s staring at— a video, no, porn. The second piece of the puzzle, you take in the video’s content. First, you just see flashes of skin and hear soft grunts and moans emanating from the screen. But then you realize, the voices sound familiar, really familiar. Then it hits you.

It is you.

And him. The both of you together. And that realization connects all the pieces of the puzzle together. He’s keeping you here, on purpose.

Your eyes dart back to Miguel, who has now abandoned his video in favor of the live view he has right in front of him. He’s shirtless but he still has some grey sweats on, pushed down just enough that he can jerk off. His hands move desperately over his cock, aborted grunts and breathy moans coming out sporadically.

He turned his head to the side, his cheeks flushed and his eyes narrowed with desire. You were frozen, stuck in time. Miguel kept stroking his cock while staring into your eyes. He did this right up until his orgasm overtook him, throwing his head back and jerking his hips upward as he called out your name.

His cum spurted out in waves, once, twice, three times. It was thick and opaque and made a mess all over his lower stomach. He sighed and sank back into his chair.

“Did you enjoy the show?” His voice is low and heady as he calls out to you. It takes you a moment to respond, because admittedly you’re still staring at his— well, his everything, dick included. Still It was a very, very nice, thick, veiny d—“Am I interrupting?”

His teasing knocks you out of your reverie.

“I-I should go.” You said. You’re starting to realize that Lyla might have been right. Maybe you should’ve waited until the morning. You start backing up to leave but Miguel shakes his head and the door shuts behind him.

“No, no, no. See, that’s your problem. You’re always trying to leave,” he chastises.

He stalks towards you, like you’re prey. You move backwards until your back hits the door. He reaches over you, placing an arm over your head and his index finger under your chin, lifting it upwards. He bends down, close enough that you can see even minute details of his face.

He narrows his eyes as he bares his fangs.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

[adoptourcrew]

Here is a transcript of Rhys talking about OFMD cancellation. You can listen to his full interview on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts.

Talking Strange Paranormal Show with Aaron Sagers: Rhys Darby Returns!

Timestamp: 37:52-41:49

Aaron: I can’t help but ask about Our Flag Means Death…I absolutely love the show. It has such a huge fan base. It even has the massive queer community support and we are now in the midst of Pride Month. For you, how do you view the legacy of Our Flag Means Death professionally. How does it rank in your work?

Rhys: Very highly. It’s an odd one, because in my mind, and I’m sure all the fans' minds, it was slightly rudely cut short. We should have gone more and I think it’s because we felt like the aim was to go for three seasons, to tell the whole story. And because it was so good and it had a lot of fans and it was representational, it was funny, it was beautifully shot, awesome costumes. We’re pirates on a boat attacking each other and making out. It was a unique show and I’m still getting over the idea that they can just go “we’re canceling that” when other things, I won’t name any names of certain other comedy shows and things, that just keep running. And I think, who the hell is making these decisions and there might be a financial element to it, yeah sure. But the budget was stripped by 40% on the second season and we shot it in New Zealand, we saved a lot of money by going to another country, which seems odd. But still, then they called it quits there at the end of number two. So it’s bittersweet in a lot of ways for me because personally, for my own journey, it was the best thing I’ve ever done because I was the lead and I got to obviously use my comedic skills, that’s easy. But I got into the drama side of things and there was some real emotional pathos and nuances that I didn’t know I was capable of doing and I got to do, and I was really proud of my work on that thing. It’s like my mum always said, “pride always comes before a fall.” (laughs) And now it’s gone. But hey! Move on, we’ll move on.

Aaron: Would you and Taika ever consider, as some other creators have, perhaps completing the story in another format, another medium, comic books for instance. A way that you could tell the story that you wanted to.

Rhys: I think the fans have already done that. The fanfiction is through the roof. But I think the show that we made was something to behold and hopefully it will stick around. It’s just two seasons, there are a lot of shows that ran for two seasons, like Flight of the Conchords, for example, there are only two seasons of that. And I look at these things now as pieces of art and there they are. And you can watch them over a long weekend or whatever you want. But it’s finite and it’s done and you can enjoy it and you can always go back to it. It’s a happy place. It’s art and that’s it.

[venusgirltarot]

What Would A Relationship Between You and Your Celebrity Crush Be Like? ┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath, envision the person you are thinking of and then choose the pile(s) you feel most drawn to.

If you would like a personal reading from me, you can get one here!

Deck Used: The Cosmic Slumber Tarot

Pile 1 ༣

Cards: seven of swords, death, seven of pentacles, temperance, three of torches, the chariot, two of swords, eight of pentacles

So I won’t lie, pile one, I think being in a relationship with your celebrity crush could become a very dark and difficult period of your life. This period of time would be temporary but still very difficult nonetheless.

The relationship would start out private, a secret kept between the two of you and only known to those closest to you. You’re very protective of it as a couple and want to spend the first few months of your relationship together without the general public knowing about it or being involved. The connection you would have would be incredibly strong and very very deep. You connect very deeply with this person and you have a very loving and healthy relationship. The type of relationship where you’re like best friends but also make a really good couple.

The struggles you face will start when this relationship is announced to the public. I don’t think it would be leaked or announced before you’re ready, the two of you decide together that it’s time and you meet with your respective teams and come up with a statement and plan to have an article released.

In this scenario where you are with your celebrity crush, I see you being somewhat famous yourself. I think your crush is either an A-List and well known celebrity or someone with a a very large and dedicated fan base or possibly both but no matter what, they do have a much bigger fan base/platform than you do. You may just be starting out in the industry and making a name for yourself and you do have a fan base but it’s much smaller. Your celebrity crush’s fans may be known for being obsessive or slightly out of control and this is something the two of you have in mind when announcing this relationship.

Despite being prepared, I don’t think either of you will be fully prepared for the true outcome of this announcement. There would be a lot of unnecessary hate and possibly even hate towards your friends/family. People trying to dig into your past, blind items about you from people claiming to have grown up with you or known you at some point in your life saying things about you that you know aren’t true but your crush’s fan base takes these blind items and uses them as a reason to hate you due to their own jealousy. I heard “it really spirals out of control”.

You won’t say anything. I think you’d take this time to focus on yourself and surround yourself with people that love and care about you and truly know you for who you are and not for some blind item from an unknown internet user that has never met you before. You crush would really care for you during this time. They’d be very attentive and take time to communicate and support you emotionally. I heard “we’ll get through it together” they refuse to let you isolate yourself or go through this alone, the two of you may attend therapy together to process and work through this difficult time together. You may also buy a home in one of your home towns or some place that’s comfortable and familiar to you.

You choose not to speak out because you feel it’s not what’s best and you know it would add fuel to an already uncontrollable fire. You encourage your crush to do the same but eventually I do believe they’ll make a statement. Fans may possibly be using your crush’s lack of defense of you as another reason to hate on you and the general public may see it as your crush being a bad partner and it may put them in a bad light in the eyes of the general public. I think a lot of the general public will see this as a rabid fan base going after a celebrity’s partner without any reason but a small portion may only know you from blind items or fan rumors they hear which may but you in a bad light in their eyes. However, you crush’s statement will be a well written and planned out statement that will bring in way more support for you from the general public, but I don’t think it will do much in terms of the fan base and their opinion.

I do think this will change, though. Over time, after ignoring and not commenting on this hate and continuing to build and further your career, I think a lot of fans will start to like you and the general public will really love you. After time has passed, I think you’ll come out with a documentary and a portion of that documentary will document or talk about this portion of your life and how the hate was detrimental to your mental health and put you in this very dark and difficult place and it will also show more of you and your crush’s relationship and how close the two of you are and how good you are as a couple. You really will become like an “it” couple for people and they’ll see you as perfect for each other.

Allowing people to know more about you on a personal level and see you for who you truly are will completely change the narrative and you’ll be loved by not only the general public but also your crush’s fan base and you’ll grow your own fan base, as well. I heard “your story in your words” this dark period will have also given you a much thicker skin and really strengthened your relationship with your celebrity crush and after years of saying and posting nothing about each other, you can finally share more about your relationship and not have to hide it so much.

Pile 2 ༣

Cards: two of cups, six of pentacles, the hierophant, king of torches, the high priestess, king of cups, three of torches king of swords, princess of torches

I think you and your celebrity crush would have such a cute relationship 🥺 I think you’d be some sort of influencer or model? Someone that people look up to for fashion, skin care, beauty tips, etc. you’d be the type to be in one of those vogue grwm or skin care videos. You may also have had a difficult life/upbringing that you’re open/vulnerable about online and people really love to hear about your story and find you very inspiring. People also love the way you speak or write. The way you articulate and word things is very powerful and intriguing and it makes people want to listen to what you have to say. A lot of people on social media would have a very parental or older sibling sort of view of you, seeing you as a mentor and looking to you for guidance and advice.

Your celebrity crush’s fans would absolutely adore you. You may be known for interacting with/being kind to fans. I heard “they see you as an angel” 🥺 there would be so much public support for you and your celebrity crush’s relationship. I also think the two of you could travel a lot, specifically to Italy? And you’d be photographed out together holding hands and your street style would be posted a lot and used as inspiration. I think a lot of people follow/like you for your street style. You’d be known for the way you dress and also the way you carry yourself and how you take care of yourself. If you were seen using/wearing some sort of product, it would sell out very quickly because so many people follow what you do and replicate it. You have a very “it” person sort of vibe that people are attracted to.

You and your celebrity crush would have a private but not secret sort of relationship that people would love posting/talking about. It sort of reminds me of Tom Holland and Zendaya. People just love you two together and are really rooting for you. A lot of your relationship seems to be based around travel, exploring the world together. If your celebrity crush is a musician/writer, they’ll write a lot about you and fans will love to dissect lyrics about you and make deep dive posts about the parallels.

You and your celebrity crush would enjoy nature together. Sunlight and early mornings, cooking breakfast together and reading books together. Sitting at the table at dinner time and talking about your days. You’d really enjoy the everyday mundane things. I heard “mom and dad” and earlier in the reading I heard “mother is mothering” 😭 so fans may say these things about you a lot on social media. You and your celebrity crush wouldn’t pay much mind to social media or what’s being said. I heard “your main focus is each other” and “you’re not concerned with what the rest of the world of thinks” you can easily shut it all out and focus on the here and now. You have such a loving, well rounded relationship and a really good support system around you.

If you were drawn to both piles 1 and 2, this pile can be what your life with your celebrity crush is like after overcoming the difficult period described in pile 1. I just felt really strongly that some of my pile 1s were also attracted to this group and I figured some of you would be confused since there’s such a stark contrast in the two piles and wanted to provide some insight for those who need it. If you didn’t feel drawn to the other pile or haven’t already read it, don’t worry about it. That pile may not be for you and that’s perfectly fine :)

Pile 3 ༣

This pile does have 18+ messages. Because of the energy in this pile and the overall relationship spoken about in this pile, there was simply no way for me to do it without making it 18+ and I’m so sorry if that’s not what you’re looking for.

Also, as usual, my 18+ readings are not for minors so please do not read this pile if you are under 18 years of age, this reading is not for you.

Cards: ten of pentacles, king of cups, ace of pentacles, six of pentacles, death, justice, two of pentacles, two of cups, ten of torches ace of cups princess of swords

Pile 3, you may or may not be a Pedro Pascal girly (I mean girly in a gender neutral way. Anyone can be a girly) but that’s definitely the vibe I’m getting. Your celebrity crush is an older male and definitely an actor. I got musician vibes from the other two piles but this is 100% an actor and I think you’d meet them because you would also be an actor.

For a select few of you, your celebrity crush might be David Harbour but for most of you, it’s definitely Pedro Pascal. For some it’s Jamie Campbell Bower. I had to google him cause I didn’t know his name but an image of him kept popping up in my head. He’s only 34 so not as old as David or Pedro but for those of you 18-25 that’s still most definitely an age gap. Mostly Pedro Pascal energy tho.

I’m terribly sorry, Pile 3, but you would not have a healthy, long term relationship with your celebrity crush. However, it would be the most passionate and intense relationship you’d ever have. I think you’d meet on the set of some movie you’re both in and have a very intense and messy, although short lived romance. The sex would be intense and passionate but so would the fights but the makeup sex after the fights would be the best you’d ever have in your entire life. There seems to be an issue with you wanting more and this person person wanting a strictly sexual relationship.

I think I’ve seen somewhere that Pedro Pascal had said he doesn’t do relationships because they hurt too much or something like that and so he prefers to just stay single and this situation definitely gives me those vibes and that’s where a lot of the conflict would come from. You would know that this person feels all the same things you do but they’re fine with just channeling those feelings into the sex the two of you have (which would be what made it so good) while you want to channel it into a relationship and have something long term and stable with this person and it causes a lot of very heated arguments. You can’t stay away from each other though so these arguments never last long.

You’d spend a lot of time trying to make this person jealous or wishing they’d just accept their feelings and pursue a relationship with you however if they did, I think you’d get bored. The passion and intensity is what makes this relationship worth while for both of you and without it you’d just get tired of them and lose interest. You’d need the intense fights and passion makeup sex to make this relationship work and I think your celebrity crush would know that. They may even tell you that you just don’t understand because you’re younger than them and there’s a maturity difference and that would drive you insane. This relationship reminds me a lot of “illicit affairs” by Taylor Swift and I also heard All Too Well (10 Minute Version) when I was shuffling.

There may be blind items/rumors about this relationship because it will be very known on set. People may even hear the two do you fighting (or partaking in other activities ����) from outside of your trailers. It will definitely be a big topic of gossip on set and online for awhile but nothing with ever be confirmed by anyone publicly and it will live on as a rumor.

Eventually, filming would end and I think this relationship would end with it but you’d spend a long time hung up on this person and still trying to do things to get their attention or make them jealous, long after the two of you are no longer in contact. “Question…?” By Taylor Swift is also playing in my head right now. Specifically the lyric “I don’t remember who I was before you painted all my nights a color I have searched for since” and the lyric “I wake with your memory over me, that’s a real fucking legacy to leave” from Maroon. This relationship would have a huge impact on you and linger in your mind for a very long time, possibly even years. They would always be your “what if” person and the thought of what could have been would haunt you late at night, years and years after it’s ended.

I hope this reading has brought you some sort of peace, clarification, or happiness! Feedback is always appreciated :) have a good day or night. Sending you love and light!

Mara ࿐ྂ

[gothamite-rambler]

Bruce meeting his son Damian pt. 2

Context: After Bruce Wayne has regained his bearings and been dragged to a lounge room at Ra's castle and has been retold that he has a son with Talia, Jason knew and now his in-law is Ra's Al Ghul. (links to the first two parts below).

Bruce, still in his bat suit, rested on the ground in Talia's study trying to remain his usual calm and composed self, but can only repeat a mantra.

Talia: Bruce, my former love, are you feeling better?

Bruce (monotone and stunned): I have a child with Talia. I have a child with Talia. I have a... child with Talia. I have a child with Talia. I have a child with Talia...

Talia: You are being such a drama king, can you not be happy that that our night of passion produced a child.

Bruce (whimpering): Oh God I'm linked to you through a child!

Bruce buried his face on the floor groaning loudly.

Talia (angry): My father was right, you would hate Damian! If you're going to be like this then you won't be around him!

Bruce (clarifying): I do not hate Damian. I hate you. There's a difference. And you are not depriving me of any further time with him!

Talia shook with rage, but chose to not stab him, taking a long sip from her tea to calm herself.

Bruce: I didn't even get the name of Thomas Jr.! Although Damian isn't a bad name. This is not what I needed though, I can't believe I'm a father again.

Talia: Bruce, while I don't care much for your Robins, you raised three kids already! For Ra's sake, you adopted Dick when he was 8!

Bruce: I wasn't secretly his biological father, unaware he existed because the petty mother and her psychotic father refused to inform me of that!

Talia (honest): Well when you word it like that it makes us look bad.

Bruce (calm, but enraged): Talia, how old is Damian again?

Talia (deadpan): He turned eight a few months ago.

Bruce (panicked): That's what I'm FUCKING saying! I missed another birthday, he's been around- Oh my God it just dawned on me he's been around Ra's Al Ghul. Ra is that precious boy's grandfather. Oh… no.

Talia smiled hearing Bruce call their son precious.

Talia: You're stressed and shocked about having a child that I neglected to tell you about, for your own safety as well, but we can co-parent him since you know about him now.

Bruce (V.O.): That's not the point, he is my son you loony tune!

Bruce (outloud): Thank you so much for giving me that option eight years later. I'm not upset I have a son, that's... fine. You are correct about the fact I've raised three kids, working on things with Jason, but yes I'm not new to parenting. I’m having a lot of racing thoughts because the woman I thought I cut off ties with is now linked to me through said innocent child. Oh and the fact you kept him secret for eight years!

Talia (missing the point): Our relationship wasn't that bad. You have to admit we had good times together.

Bruce sat up, bringing his knee to his head and thinking about the good times... Those bad times entered the narrative quickly.

Talia: Bruce, it was for the best I never informed you of Damian’s existence earlier, father would’ve killed you.

Bruce: You refused to tell ME I had a son, because your father who bathes in the pit when he has a cold might’ve killed me? That’s what you’re trying to tell me… you’re telling me that as if I can’t fight for myself!

Talia (hesitantly): I made… what I assumed was the smartest decision.

Bruce: Yeah Kim thought the same thing with J.D. on Scrubs, at least he found out before the baby was born.

Talia: Okay I did not watch much of that crap show, but don’t compare me to that woman, I’m ten times better than her! Plus our night of passion was far different from what they did.

Bruce: No, it was a one night stand. A fun one, I won’t deny that, but one I had planned to be a ONE NIGHT STAND! I'm supposed to be smart, why did I buy those condoms, why did I put one in my wallet?

Talia: You are pissing me off to no end, but slip-ups like this can happen to the best of us. Neither of us expected a condom with the word 'condom' misspelled on it would break so easily.

Bruce: I can't ignore the fact you had him around that man. You let him talk to Damian, be around Damian, probably teach him how to kill. I am burying so much rage at the moment, but it's a thin thread, Talia. It's a thin thread!

Talia rolled her eyes while drinking from her tea cup.

Talia: I'll have you know, my childhood was only filled with normal discipline, he stabbed me in my ankle three times and then stopped. Mostly because I expected those sneak attacks.

Bruce: Talia, I swear to Christ if he has done that to Damian I will murder him three times.

Talia: No... not that I'm aware of.

Talia took another long sip from her cup while glancing away from Bruce.

Bruce (despondent): I've been deprived of that cute boy's eight years of growing up. He could have had a semi-normal childhood. I saw you with the baby too, but I thought nobody would be STUPID enough to have a kid with you. I'm the stupid one.

Talia (smirking): You think he's cute?

Bruce whimpered to signify he meant yes.

Talia: Our DNA worked together well.

Talia giggled, but Bruce wasn't in the mood.

Bruce: You're as delusional as I remember.

Talia: Bruce, get up, sit next to me. Have some tea.

Bruce stood up and sat a good distance from Talia. He removed his cowl and sighed accepting he had a son with Talia, but his worry for his child's safety remained.

Bruce: I'm glad I'm not shooting blanks, the issue is- I mean no offense... kind of do- I did not want a child with you after I realized I can't be with someone like you. You and I have clashing ideals and now we have a child. I have to co-parent with a woman who harassed a Kohl's worker to the point the woman got institutionalized ... and that's the tame shit! What am I going to tell Damian about your entire history?

Talia: Okay first of all, that worker was racist, she had it coming and second, I've made decisions you do not agree with, some that I don't look back on fondly, but for most of Damian's childhood I raised him with the love I barely got from my father. I'm doubting the decision to raise him as an assassin.

Bruce: I can make the final decision there, he's not becoming one.

Talia (chuckling dryly): Guess we'll have to compromise with what Damian wants. To be honest, Bruce I'm not that mad with your overall reaction, but I'm glad the issue isn't our son. Because whether you want to be with me or not, I want you to be a part of his life. Eight years later, yes, but I've known you for a long time and I see now you'll be a great father to him.

Bruce (rubbing his forehead): Freaking reassuring after I missed so much of his life... He's leaving today with me and will never return here again. Yeah, yeah that's a good first step as his father.

Talia: Okay, let's test the co-parenting here. How about you take him to Gotham and spend a few weeks with him so that way he can get to know you more. You're rich, not as much as us, but hopefully he'll be used to your lifestyle.

Bruce (serious): You said that as if he's visiting for vacation and then returning to this kingdom of evilness. He's not returning here! Ever!

Talia: Oh come on, I'm raising him incredibly well.

Bruce: Around Ra's Al Ghul?

Talia: Y- Yes. On his birthday we have him fight assassins and punishments aren't that bad, but last birthday he didn't have to do that I was generous.

Bruce (seething): You had him fight assassins?! What punishments- You got me fucked me, Talia! You got me fucked up! You have me talking like I'm from lower Jersey! I get you find me silly for wearing an awesome batsuit to save the city, but let me make this clear: He's living with me, I am taking... custody of him. I'm getting his stuff, he'll get on my jet and Gotham will be his permanent home! That is my son! Not just yours and damn sure not Ra's! I have a say in my son's life!

Talia (impressed): Okay, I like this energy. He'll want to return here for proper raising, I'm confident in that, but he can spend two or three months with you and then we'll humor him and see who he wants to stay with.

Bruce: Me. Me. He's living with me. I might have him visit- What am I saying?! You can visit him, I won't deprive YOU of being around him. Not Ra because if he hurts him any further, I will BEAT that man to an inch of his life and render him comatose!

Talia (pretending to be ignorant): Yeah, he'll stay for a let's say a year. I'm getting what you're putting down.

Bruce: You're seriously not! Talia look into my eyes, Damian WAYNE will be living with me from here on out. Got it?!

Talia stood up, placing her tea cup on the table.

Talia: Mm-hm, Mm-hm, Mm-hm, we'll see what Damian decides. Aren’t you happy I gave him your last name.

Bruce rubbed his forehead, trying not to cuss Talia out. She wasn't always the most stable person especially when it involved allegiance to her father, but he was resolute in his decision.

Damian would not set foot back in that castle for as long as Bruce lived. Although he accepted there was no point in arguing with Talia.

Talia (standing up): I'll go tell him to pack his things, you're going to have to talk to my father and I'm not sure if you remember this, you blacked out at a certain point, but Jason was fully aware I had the child, kept it secret for this long-term revenge, Damian has visited Gotham to be babysat by him, and he helped raise him for 8 years. He was actually the one who told me a few months ago it was time to let you see him so don't be too hard on the kid. Okay, whew got that off my chest. Damian, let's talk!

Talia scurried out of the room as Bruce stood there, shocked at this new information. He had blocked out that particular part, remembering it now made his face turn red with rage.

Bruce (whispering in rage): He had his reasons. He had his reasons. He had ... his reasons. He ...had his reasons. He had his... reasons. He had me send him that money for three years after I SAVED him and he sat on his information until a few months ago!

Bruce left the tea room in a huff.

Bruce: Jason, let's talk!

"You knew this entire time?"

Bruce find out about Damian

Jason knew the entire time

[carlos-in-glasses]

Where All This Love Comes From

I'm so excited to share what has been known as Flashback Fic! 107k words, with all 14 chapters here on Ao3, rated E.

Six months after Gabriel Reyes’ death, TK grows concerned about Carlos’ drinking and brings him to a meeting at the Y. Afterwards, over omelets at the diner, the husbands open up to each other. TK reflects on meeting Carlos after years of addiction and self-destruction, while Carlos has continued to seek closure by uncovering two unknowns: The identity of his father’s killer, and how his father truly felt about Carlos as his son.

************************************************

Carlos puts his arms around him from behind and holds him still, kissing his neck. TK tries to twist in Carlos’ grip, but he won’t let him. He starts walking him towards the bedroom. “I’m desperate for you,” TK says, his blood hot, cheeks red, eyes pricking with tears. “I know.” “Make me forget everything.” “I will.” “I only want to think about you.” “You will.” Carlos stops for a breath. He smells TK – his clean hair, his evanesced cologne, his natural man scent, his salty tears that have imbued his skin, the sweat of stress. Sad, but still beautiful to Carlos. TK, delicious. “I never thought I’d have you. I never thought–” he can’t speak anymore.

***********************************************

Chapter 1: A Trail to Follow

In 2023, TK discovers something that triggers memories of heroin withdrawal seven years before – and Carlos makes amends with Gutiérrez after accusing him of his father’s murder.

Chapter 2: A Very Nice Sweater for the 'Y'

TK takes Carlos to the N.A. meeting – but when things don’t go as hoped, he instigates another method to get Carlos talking.  

Chapter 3: Snowballing

A messy situation in 2010 causes TK as a high school junior to lash out. In 2023, Carlos realizes it's time to tell TK about one more secret. 

Chapter 4: Original Sin

In 2013, Carlos accidentally destroys Gabriel’s oldest friendship. Nine years later, he attempts to make peace after he and TK get engaged.

Chapter 5: Between Two Bridges

In 2022, a grieving and struggling TK is compelled to talk to Owen about his 2020 overdose, which leads him to remember when his addiction nearly killed him years before. In 2023, TK asks Carlos about his history with alcohol. (Note: Chapter features TK using and gets fairly graphic)

Chapter 6: One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor

TK and Carlos compare notes on when they first came out – with Carlos spiraling in 2011 after an unexpected outburst, while TK in 2008 is embraced (and embarrassed) by his parents. In 2021, both handle the raw days of their breakup differently too.

Chapter 7: A Boy's Best Friend

In 2009, Gabriel attempts to connect with his increasingly distant and unhappy teenage son. In 2013, the fallout of Carlos leaving Iris has begun, and he knows his relationship with his parents will never be the same. In 2023, TK tries to talk to Gabriel about the bombshell revelation that Carlos doesn’t want kids.

Chapter 8: Your Heart, As If It Was My Very Own

In 2011, TK is left bewildered after he loses his virginity. Years later, with Carlos, TK's mind (among other things) is blown in a whole new way. In 2022, TK has an important conversation with a certain visitor when he wakes from his coma.

Chapter 9: Coffee with Gutiérrez

In September 2023, Carlos seeks an important but painful truth from Gutiérrez, and finds an unexpected ally within the 126. Two months later in Blue Moon Diner, TK gets ready to tell Carlos more about his past in New York.

Chapter 10: The Day Begins Like Any Other

In 2016, after TK experiences an assault and sees an old friend again under devastating circumstances, he makes a life-altering decision when his dealer suggests he try something new. In 2009, TK is attacked at school. (Note: Please heed the tags and the chapter note. Reader discretion advised. Look after your hearts).

Chapter 11: Lonely as a Sparrow in the Rain

When Carlos confesses to TK about where he went with Judd back in September – and why – TK has to tell Carlos something he won't want to hear. In 2014, a rift develops when Carlos shows off his new Camaro to his parents.

Chapter 12: Happy For You, Son

Before moving to Austin, TK falls out with his parents over his relationship with Alex. In December 2020, it's a different story as Carlos hosts Owen and Gwyn for TK's birthday meal. In 2012, Carlos has some unexpected news for his own parents, but Michelle tries to intervene. When TK and Carlos get engaged a decade later, Gabriel has something to say about it.

Chapter 13: The Risk of Love

In May 2023, Owen and TK save a spiraling Carlos from making the biggest mistake of his life when he thinks he’s found his father’s killer. In 2020, TK and Carlos become boyfriends beneath a sky full of aurora borealis.

Chapter 14: A Night Worth Celebrating

On a rainy night in 2020, TK and Carlos meet for the first time. In 2023, weeks after their big talk at Blue Moon, TK celebrates his thirtieth birthday with his husband, their family and their friends by his side – and Carlos is a little bit better at sharing his secrets.

Read on A03

[honeypiehotchner]

baby, please come home (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- one shot

Merry early Christmas! It’s becoming a little tradition for me to write a Christmas one shot with Hotch every year. This year it’s smutty! (You’re welcome) If you don’t celebrate Christmas, Happy Holidays! And enjoy this one shot full of filth to get you through the end of the year. Love y’all mwah 

Summary: Hotch has been overseas for three months and counting, and now it looks like he won’t be home in time for Christmas.

Warnings: beard!Hotch (yes that’s a warning), mention of marriage, Hotch is a (playful) asshole, smut 18+ only pls minors dni!!!, unprotected p in v (wrap it irl pls i beg), oral (m and f receiving), sleepy sex, cockwarming, lots of teasing, Hotch being pussy whipped as one of y’all said on one of my other fics 🤪

WC: ~3k

Christmas is your favorite time of year.

You have no idea why, since all your family did on Christmas was bicker and fight when you were younger. You received presents that confused you, like chocolate “coal” in your stocking and underwear under the tree (because you didn’t “believe” enough, apparently).

Somehow, through it all, you made it your own. The twinkling lights, the fun decorations, the music that you can’t ever get enough of. It’s nostalgic, for a time you never really experienced, but wanted to so badly. The happy holidays. The happy family around a warm fire.

Now that you’re older and on your own, you make it perfectly catered to you because that’s what you deserve.

This year, that means decking the hell out of the apartment. Especially since it looks like you’ll be spending it alone.

Your boyfriend — well, fiancé, except he refused to corner you into a decision right before he left to go overseas, even though you told him you didn’t feel cornered at all — can’t be here, not like he hoped. He went overseas three months ago, expecting to be back after only three weeks. But his assignment is taking longer than he expected.

Much longer, because now he won’t be here for Christmas. You’re trying not to let it tear you up inside.

It’s not like he can control his assignment. And he’s apologized — profusely — multiple times. So much so that you’ve told him to stop. He’s forgiven. It’s alright. You understand. Christmas can wait. You’ll leave the decorations up (which you do anyway) and Christmas can happen once he’s stateside again. No worries.

It does hurt, but you can’t tell him that. Again, not his fault. And he’s already worrying about so much over there. Not to mention, you only get to speak to him once a week. You’d rather spend that time focusing on good things.

You head downstairs to pick up your package, which is another box of lights. You want lights around every doorway, and around the ceiling in the living room. And a few more strands on the tree. Okay, maybe you should’ve ordered another box.

As you ascend the stairs to get back to your apartment, you think of Aaron’s face, how he’d look at you if he saw these lights. How he’d shake his head with a smile, quietly take everything from you, and hang up the lights exactly where you want them.

You wipe away a stray tear as the elevator doors open on your floor. Unlocking the apartment door, you decide the best way to get through this is blast your favorite Christmas music and put on your comfiest pajamas. Maybe some hot chocolate, too. Maybe a Christmas movie on the TV instead of music. You’re pulling out all the stops.

+++

How the Grinch Stole Christmas plays on the TV while you sip your hot chocolate, gazing around the room. You’ll need to find a chair tall enough so you can reach the ceiling.

God, if Aaron saw you standing on a chair, he’d kill you. One time, you were standing on your desk chair to reach the top shelf of your bookcase, and when Aaron walked in, he promptly wrapped his arms around your body and hoisted you down.

“This is why I’m here,” he had said. “I’m tall enough to reach these things so you don’t have to hurt yourself.”

“Yeah, but you were busy!” you argued.

“Never too busy for you, honey,” he said, grinning as he kissed you, then reached for the exact book you needed.

Before you realize it, you’re grinning too, thinking of this memory. You wish he was here. You know he wishes he could be here, too.

Sometimes you wish he wasn’t so damn important. You wish you could talk to him more than once a week, and at least Skype with him or something. All you’ve been able to do is talk to him on the satellite phone, only when he calls you, because the number changes every so often. And sometimes the calls end unexpectedly, other times he has to go (but at least gets to say goodbye), but regardless, they’re never long enough.

It’s unfair. It sounds childish, but it’s true. It’s fucking unfair.

“Ugh,” you groan, wiping angrily at your cheeks. Get it together. It’s time to decorate. Aaron will be home soon.

You have no idea when. But soon sounds better than eventually.

You set your hot chocolate down and grab the lights, getting ready to turn this place into a damn Winter Wonderland.

Halfway through the movie, you have the lights around the ceiling and are working on tearing open the next box. Next on the list are the doorways. You should have enough for the bedroom, bathroom, office, and spare room doorways. Not sure about the kitchen, though. You might need another box. Damn.

“Damn,” you say out loud when you find a knot in the strand. Huffing, you sit down on the couch to begin the detailing process. It’s always a hassle.

Especially when you have your favorite movie playing, so you keep getting distracted. Eventually, you resign to watching the screen and detangling later. You probably won’t sleep tonight anyway, so you have all night to keep decorating.

Right as your favorite part is on, there’s a knock on the front door.

You’re not expecting anyone, so you ignore it, hoping whoever it was will leave. Or got the wrong apartment, maybe.

But they knock again. Jesus. Fine.

You leave your (second) mug of hot chocolate on the kitchen counter as you make your way to the front door. You lift onto the balls of your feet, looking through the peephole, and—

“What?” you whisper to yourself, fumbling with the deadbolt and yanking the door open. “What? Aaron?”

You leap into his arms, not caring that he’s in the hallway. Who cares? He’s here. He’s home. Finally.

“Hi honey,” he whispers, close to your ear. “I missed you.”

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” you murmur, tears springing to your eyes and flowing freely. You sniffle into his neck, inhaling sharply. It’s really him.

He carries you just inside the door and shuts it, giving you both some privacy. He wraps his arms around you even tightly, exhaling. He’s needed this hug badly for weeks. Ever since he landed over there, really.

You lift your head to look at him, eyesight still blurry with tears. “You’re really you? I’m not dreaming?”

“You’re not dreaming, honey,” he says, then kisses you sweetly. “I’m here.”

“Thank god,” you breathe, pulling him back in for another kiss.

Here is when you notice his face. It’s not clean shaven like it usually is — which you understand. There isn’t exactly time for shaving overseas or even razors available to shave with, you imagine. But it’s…different.

The last time you saw him with a beard is when he had a few days off, and he didn’t shave. But that was a few days. This is…almost three months worth.

“You okay?” Aaron chuckles. You’ve just been staring at his face, with your palms cupping his cheeks.

“You have a beard.”

“I do,” he grins. “Do you like it?”

“Still deciding,” you admit. “I’m so used to you with a clean face.”

“Me too,” he says. “I’m ready to shave, if I’m honest.”

You shake your head slowly.

“No?” he raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Mm,” you pause, your mind running wild. It’s been so long since you’ve hugged him, felt him. Who can blame you for your mind venturing to…other activities. “Reasons.”

“Oh?” he bites back a smile, adjusting his arms around you, widening his legs. He knows what he’s doing. He knows what you’re doing. “What are these reasons?”

“I think you know,” you tease.

“I think you’re being shy,” he teases you right back. “C’mon,” he nods, his jaw moving underneath your palms. “What is it?”

“Just…” you pause, burying your face in his shoulder. You’re still too shy to ask for what you want, especially something like this. It feels so embarrassing.

“Take your time,” he coos. “You know you need to ask for what you want.”

“Can’t you just read my mind this once? Profile me?”

“It doesn’t work that way, sweet girl,” he says. “What is it?”

“I just missed you,” you deflect with a shrug, but nothing can hide the temperature your body has risen to. “That’s all.”

“Mhm,” he hums. “And how did you miss me?”

He’s relentless, and you hate him for it, but you love his shit-eating grin just as much.

“I missed you being inside me,” you admit. “And…” you trail away, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“And?” he presses, though he knows exactly what you mean.

“And…” you try again. “And, I missed it when you— you know. Put your…yeah.”

He laughs, fingers squeezing your hips, massaging soothing circles. “What are we going to do about you being so shy?”

“I’m trying!” you protest. You’ve never been good at wording these things. He knows you so well that you’re used to just letting him take the reins. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not laughing at you, honey, I’m sorry,” he calms down, moving his hands to rub up and down on your arms. “Let’s go to bed.”

You deflate, thinking you’ve ruined the moment. “Bed?”

“Unless you’d rather I eat you out right here, yes,” he says.

You gasp. “Aaron!”

“What?” he laughs. “Come on. I’m not teasing you anymore, let’s go.”

He takes your hand and guides you down the hall to the bedroom. You sulk the entire way.

“You’re an asshole sometimes, you know,” you mutter.

He spins around and scoops you up in one swift movement, plopping you down on the bed just as quick. You squeal once you land, all of it happening so fast. He grabs a pillow and places it under your hips, and you just know this is going to be a long night.

You squirm, though, not uncomfortable by him but impatient. And awkward. It always feels weird after it’s been so long, but only because you get in your head about it. Aaron doesn’t ever make it awkward or uncomfortable. He does the opposite.

He kneels before you, tugging your pajama pants down, taking your underwear with them. He leaves gentle kisses in his wake, covering every inch of your skin until you’re practically on fire.

It’s different with the beard, obviously. A little scratchy, but good. Soft. Arousing in a way you didn’t think about.

“God, I missed this,” he says, mostly to himself as he spreads your legs.

His lips travel further, to your inner thighs and over your mound, but not where you need him. Until he covers you with his mouth in a sudden movement.

You squeak and he hisses, pulling back. “Sorry, honey, I’m— Fuck. Okay.”

“Are you okay?” you ask, mistaking his words for something else.

But when he looks up at you, your stomach flips.

“I’m okay, I’m—” he pauses to smile. “You’re so beautiful, I just— It always gets me.”

“Aaron…” you pout. How is he so sweet when he’s between your legs, with a mouth that sinful? How can honey and desire drip from the same tongue so effortlessly?

“You tell me if it’s too much,” he says. He looks wild, like he’s holding himself back with everything he’s got. “I know you’re sensitive and I might get a little carried away.”

You reach your hand down to ruffle his hair, smoothing it out before messing it up again. And tugging, pulling his head closer to your core. He smirks.

“Go ahead,” you tell him. “Please.”

He doesn’t need to be asked twice. Ever.

He dips his head and covers you with his mouth, his tongue delving inside of you immediately, his favorite thing to do. It’s different with his beard, but the sensation is far more arousing than it is anything else. Your grip tightens in his hair and he groans into you. He loves it when you do that, as if you have a choice. It’s almost always an involuntary reaction to his actions. He knows your body so well, even after time away.

He barely comes up for air before returning, wrapping his arms around your thighs, keeping them open. You buck your hips further into his mouth, crying out when he sucks on your clit. Your toys can’t compare to him. They’ll never measure up to his tongue. Or the way his stubble feels.

One orgasm down and he’s already chasing you toward another. Both of your hands are in his hair, holding on for dear life, and he’s nearly incoherent. Another orgasm rips through your body, leaving your legs shaking as he soothes you with gentle touches.

But it’s still not enough.

You claw at his shoulders until he gets the message and crawls up your body, face to face with you, his beard shiny with the remnants of your climax. His hair is everywhere, all your doing, and his grin is wild as he leans in to kiss you.

“Inside me,” you whine, working on kicking his pants down his legs.

He laughs as he helps you, unbuttoning his pants and shoving them down. He barely has time to kick them off with his boxers before you’re gripping his hips, pulling him in. You hook your legs around him and pull him closer, making his arms falter. He feels his head brush against your core and he cusses, leaning his forehead on the bed next to you.

“Come on,” you murmur, still impatient. “I’ve missed you, please, I need you—”

“I know, I know,” he coos, lifting his head to kiss you. “I know. Let me get a—”

“We don’t have time for a damn condom, Aaron, get inside me now.”

“Are you sure?” he asks, and if he wasn’t so sweet, you’d slap the shit out of him.

“Yes, please, I’m serious, can you just— Fuck.” He pushes inside of you in one motion, giving you everything like you’ve asked, knocking the breath out of your lungs.

“Better?” he asks, smirking into your neck.

You nod, whimpering, rocking your hips already, begging him to move. So he does.

There’s a certain way that Aaron moves that in unlike any other experiences you’ve had. And maybe it’s simply because he took the time — and wanted to take the time to get to know your body. Now he knows exactly what rhythm you need, whenever you need it, without you having to ask.

Though, sometimes you are impatient and you try to speed things up, the way you hook your heels together and lock him in. His only response is to do as you wish, and wrap his arms around you, between your body and the mattress, to keep you as close to his chest as possible.

“There you go,” he whispers, mouthing at your neck. In between his own heavy breaths, he quietly coaxes you toward another edge. “Let me feel you, honey, let go. You can let go.”

You’re a whimpering mess as you nod, the sensations too much after time away, and yet exactly what you needed. It isn’t long before he works you to your third orgasm, and you cling to his shoulders as you ride out the high.

You always know when he’s about to cum, the way he presses his hips impossibly close to yours, holding himself inside of you as deep as he can. You feel the telltale twitch, his breath hitches, and he collapses.

It’s been a while since he’s let go inside of you, and the consequences will be dealt with in the morning, but right now, it soothes you. Right now, it’s the warmth that you need.

+++

You fall asleep in each other’s embrace, Aaron behind you with his arm draped over you. But it isn’t long before you’re waking up to movement in the bed.

“Sorry,” he whispers into the dark. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“What’s the matter?” you ask, rolling toward him, and when you do, you feel the issue. You can’t help but giggle.

“Sorry,” Aaron sounds embarrassed. “I was just gonna get up, you go back to sleep.” He tries to move out of bed, but you grab onto his arms, pulling him back down.

You shake your head, even though he can’t see. “You’re not going anywhere when I’m right here.” Fully awake now, hungry even. You snake your hand down to his erection, smirking when he hisses as you wrap your hand around him. “I’ve missed this,” you say, moving gently. “Can I?” you don’t need to clarify what you want.

“You’re not too tired?” he asks, but you’re already pushing the covers back.

“Never,” you murmur, stretching out, your mouth now even with his pelvis. You take him into your mouth, humming contentedly. You never thought you’d miss something like this, but you missed everything about Aaron.

His moans are quiet and his hands are gentle against the back of your head, slightly pressing you down further. You don’t mind. If anything, if you were both more awake, you’d want him to hold you down.

Just when you think he’s almost reached his peak, he pulls you off of him. He says he wants to be inside you. You couldn’t think of any place better.

Slowly, with pauses to kiss you because he can’t help himself, he maneuvers you until you’re back the way you were sleeping. With him behind you, he pulls your leg up, placing a kiss behind your ear as he enters you once more.

It’s blissful. He holds you tenderly, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you against him as he rocks into you.

After you both reach your highs once again, you fall asleep with Aaron still inside you. Normally he tries to move, but you know he missed you, because this time he only moves closer.

As he kisses your temple, he whispers, “Merry Christmas, baby.”

[empressdede]

Disrespectful .

Chapter five

Nora and Sienna were both over the attitude that took over the life of London. She was angry at everyone in the world and she had nobody to blame but herself.

They’d already crossed those lines so what was the point of having morals now? It was a question she asked herself everyday. She regrets telling him that they should’ve ended it because she hasn’t had a good day since.

She blames Roman. It was his fault. She was fine until he came and ruined her. He gave her an itch she couldn’t scratch and it was driving her insane. Her sex toys could only do so much. And James…. James couldn’t even scratch the surface of her sexual desires anymore. Before, James was enough; he got the job done.

But after having a taste of what Roman gave her, why would she settle for just getting the job done?

The worst part is, it was her who cut off their secret rendezvous and she didn’t know how to deal with the cards she dealt herself and since she couldn’t get her fix, she released her frustration with almost everyone around her: Nora, Sienna, James and it was even worse for everyone at work since she buried herself at work for a distraction.

At first, Nora thought it that her little sister’s attitude was going to pass after a couple of days but its been going on almost three months now and Nora didn’t know how long she could take it anymore.

London wasn’t the only one who blamed Roman; Nora and Sienna did too. It became very evident to the two of them that whatever those two had going on was taking a toll on London. So both girls were taking matters into their own hands. Nora and Sienna were determined to make them cross each other’s paths once again.

Who was it really hurting that they desired each other sexually? What their partners don’t know won’t kill ‘em right? And after those words left Sienna’s mouth, the girls knew exactly what they had to do.

Which brings them to now: Nora sitting in her car in front of London’s house going over the plan with Sienna over the phone.

“I’m sorry Sienna, I just don’t think three days is enough days. You don’t think you can push it to two weeks?”

Sienna scoffed, “Girl how the fuck do you expect me to distract Tiara for two weeks? The best I could do is a week and even that is pushing it. And plus, you’re worrying about the wrong thing, go try to get her to agree to the trip first and we’ll talk longevity later.” Sienna suggested.

Nora laughed because she already came to her decision for the both of them, “If the best you can do is a week then I’m gonna tell her it’s a week trip because a little weekend trip ain’t gon do shit. So Figure out what to do with Tiara cause I’m ending this angry streak by the end of the this week.”

Sienna agreed and after they hung up, Nora got out of her car to walk to London’s door. She didn’t know what to expect when she got there but when she knocked on the door, she wasn’t really expecting to hear an argument behind the door.

Damn. London was hellbent on letting everyone feel her wrath.

When James opened the door, Nora took pity on the tired look on his face. But she only kind’ve felt bad for James in this situation; there wasn’t really much she could do when it came to those two anyways. She still flashed him a smile when he opened the door wider for her because unbeknownst to him, she was about to fix this problem.

“I’m sorry Nora, Now really isn’t a good time.” James tried but Nora held her hand in the air to silence him, she came here on her own mission and she wasn’t going to let James close the door in her face.

"Nonsense; seems like the perfect time to me. Where’s my sister?" She questioned but London let herself e known by her yelling.

"And just what the fuck am I supposed to do when you leave James? You knew I was going to take my vacation with you and now all of a sudden they need you of all people to go to an open house?"

Nora flashed him another smile before entering into the house to find her sister in the living room. "Well what’s going on in here?" Nora asked, raising an eyebrow at the mess that was in the living room with clothes being thrown all over the place.

"She’s upset because she wants to take a vacation but I can’t. I haven’t sold any property in five months, I don’t want to pass up on the opportunity to bring home some money - I’m sorry."

“It would’ve been different James, if you had no idea of my plans, but you fuckin knew!” London argues, dismissing his attempt to apologize.

“Babe I can’t just drop everything just because you want me to.”

“So you don’t wanna go out with me even though you make your own schedule?”

James let out another sigh and walks away from the living room, this argument was going nowhere and he was tired. London scoffed as she watched James walk away, ignoring her question. She couldn’t believe this was even an argument.

“Talk about a coincidence.” Nora states with a smirk on her face.

The statement caused London to turn around and face her sister, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Girl what the hell are you talking about?”

“Girl, I literally came here to ask if you wanted to take a sisters trip to Houston. Just you and me playing catch up, ya know?” Nora explains and shrugs at her sister. “What better time than now huh?”

“And since when you been thinking of this?” London questions.

“ I seen how stressed out you’ve been lately and I want to help you, I hate seeing you so stressed out. Plus…” she steps closer to her little sister and lowers her voice so she wouldn’t be heard. “I know you don’t really want to spend an entire week with James right now, so let’s just go and enjoy ourselves okay?”

It really didn’t take a lot of convincing on Nora’s end to get London to agree to go out. As horrible as it was to admit, her sister was right… She really didn’t want to go anywhere with James; but he’s been claiming how weird she’s been with him, and she wanted to do to something to make up for her bad mood swings. She couldn’t help it though, she needed an outlet to let out her frustrations.

She’s more than thankful for her sister coming to the rescue. Hopefully this trip could get her mind off you know who.

Unbeknownst to London, Nora was quick to send out a text to Sienna to let her know that the plan was going as planned so far.

we’re good on our end, Get started on your end.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Roman was confused when he got a random call from Khalid asking him to get away for a while. It wasn’t like him to isolate himself, but he can only guess him and Sienna were into it because Tiara had told him that Sienna had invited her out to New York for some kind of fashion week.

He originally decline, but Tiara convince him to go; stating that Khalid just needed a friend, the same way Sienna needed a friend. So here he was, in Houston, Texas, at a Ritz hotel, wondering what in the world could Sienna have done to make Khalid supposedly so angry.

“So what made you run away?” Roman asked during their game of call of duty.

Khalid raised an eyebrow at the random question. “Huh?”

“How come you’re in Texas and Sienna’s in New York? What made y’all run 1500 miles away from each other?” Roman asked again.

Oh. Right. Khalid almost forgot his wife sent him here on a mission.

“How do you know she’s in New York? I thought she was back home.” Khalid questioned, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

“Tiara caught a flight to New York a couple hours before I flew out myself, She’s the one who told me they were going to New York. Anyways, you didn’t answer my question; what made you run away? Why are we in Texas instead of Florida?.” Roman questioned him again for the third time.

Khalid wondered if he presented Roman’s own problems, if he would catch on. “I’m in Texas because I need space to think about our relationship. I don’t wanna hear any speeches or anything but… I cheated on Sienna and I think she knows.”

Khalid paused the game and turn to face Roman to continue spewing out bullshit. “I don’t know what to do now.”

Roman nodded his head because he understood - sometimes life doesn’t happen the way you expect it to. “Unfortunately, I know how you feel.” Roman reveals and Khalid raises his eyebrow in faux shock.

“You cheated on Tiara?”

“Something like that. I’ll take my faults, it’s wrong because I’m married but there’s nothing wrong with exploring for a bit; as long as you find your way back home. At least that’s what I did.” Roman confessed.

“If you could go back in time and take it back, would you?” Khalid questioned and the heavy silence that took over the room really answered his question but Khalid wanted Roman to really get it off his chest. “It’s just between you and me bro… do you regret it?”

“No.” Roman finally answers, but the look in his eyes is very distant, almost as if he was lost in thought. “I know I don’t sound like a committed husband but if I had the chance to do it again with the person who I did it with; I would.”

Khalid let out a hum and nodded his head to let Roman know he was listening. And he was, that confession was all he needed to move forward with his wife’s plans.

______________________________________

London, let herself relax in the hotel bed, a soft sigh escaping her lips as the silence of the room helped her feel so relax. If only her mind was as quiet as the room; her mind going to the one man who couldn’t escape her thoughts matter how hard she tried.

She hasn’t seen him since that last dinner because she knew she wasn’t going to be able to stand on business. London was a prideful woman, she was never going to admit how much she regret her decision on cutting him off.

Why the fuck do you keep thinking about him anyway? This has to stop. It’s what she’s been telling herself for these past couple of months and she still couldn’t do it.

She finds herself missing him in the weirdest times. If she’s in a boring meeting, she’ll reminisce on the time where he text her to keep her entertained. If she went out to to eat, she missed his endless compliments or even the risky freaky shit he would pull with her, like fingering her under the table when the waitress came back to ask if everything was okay. She especially missed the sex… damn did she miss the sex.

Roman took his time to learn her body, he found out what she liked and he even introduced her to new things that she found herself loving. Sex with Roman was always exciting; especially when he would fuck her in places where she usually wouldn’t let herself do those kinds of activities: in her office, backseat of his car with or without his chauffeur… almost one time in the locker room - Roman never cared. If he desired her, he was going to to have her and she missed the feeling.

Missed feeling desirable, missed the funny moments between the two of them… she missed her friendship with Roman. He was her friend first and she missed her friend.

“Okay girl; I’m over this little rut that you’ve been having. It’s time for us to go out and shake some ass, Let’s go!” Nora exclaimed when she busted into London’s room.

“What the fuck do I look like going to the club to shake some ass as a married woman?” London questioned with a confused look on her face.

Nora scoffed and rolled her eyes, “When did being married mean you can’t be outside and shake some ass?”

London let out a tire sigh, “I just wanna relax. Maybe call a masseuse to give us a massage. I’m away from home and I’d really like to enjoy it.”

“You’d really enjoy it if you stop fighting me and go out with me.” Nora retorted and London sat up and squinted her eyes in suspicion at her older sister.

“What you got up yo sleeve Nora?” She questioned, getting straight to the point.

Nora exhaled and walked towards her sister to take a seat on the bed. “London, I know you won’t talk about what’s bothering you and I respect that; can you just respect that it hurts me to see you like that? I’ve been taking care of you for the longest, I always know when you need a break, why don’t you just let me help you?”

Albeit everything she was saying was true, Nora knew she had to lay it on thick for London to agree to go out with her. London’s eyes scan Nora’s face and took in her expression, the sadden look in her sister’s eyes is what made her drop her shoulders in defeat.

“Fine. But if I’m not enjoying myself after an hour; I’m leaving.”

Nora flashed her blinding smile, nodding her head to agree with her conditions “Great! I’ll go get ready and you can meet me downstairs okay?” She didn’t even let London respond as she rushed out of the room in excitement. London, huffed as she let herself flop backwards onto the bed, she just hope she doesn’t regret this.

______________________________________

After London finished getting dressed for her night out with her sister; she stood in front of the mirror touching up on her make up as she thought about ways she could convince her sister to let her come home early.

Her phone going off, snapped her out of her thoughts and she turned to see who was calling: Nora. “Hello?”

“Hey, did you leave your room yet?”

“No, I’m about to leave though; I’m coming downstairs right now.” London explained.

“Before you come downstairs, can you go to my room and grab me a pair of sandals? I forgot to grab it.”

“Why can’t you just go and grab it?” London asked in annoyance.

“London, you’re already upstairs; can you just please?” Nora begged and London let’s out a groan before agreeing.

“Great, my room is on the fifth floor, room 26. I think housekeeping is still cleaning the mess I made so just knock okay?” And without any other explanation Nora hung up the phone.

She’s been so demanding since we got here, I thought she wanted me to have a good time? London thought to herself. The entire elevator ride to the floor above hers she thought about what the fuck was going on with Nora in the first place.

The last time Nora took London on a sister trip, it was to break the news that she was getting a divorce. What type of bad news did she have to break to me now? She wondered. Her mind was running through all the possibilities of what could have her sister acting so weird while she off the elevator to look for room 26.

She let out a small huff because she was drawing a blank, she’ll just have to ask her sister why the fuck she was acting to weird when she got downstairs. She knocked on the door and waited for housekeeping to open the door.

Didn’t she give me her keycard? London asked herself, she remembers them giving each other keycard when they got here. Before London could give look in her clutch to search for the hotel keycard, the door finally opened and when she looked up she felt all the breath in her lungs leave her body.

“Roman?” She breathed out in disbelief. Her mind had to be playing tricks on her.

Roman himself froze as he stared at the woman in front of him. There’s no way she was standing in front of him right now. “London… what-“ he trailed off because he really didn’t know what to say.

It’s been almost three months since they last seen each other, the feeling of shock is what keeping them frozen in their spot.

“What are you doing here?” London finally asks, her mind racing because seeing him did nothing but resurface those feelings she was reminiscing about earlier. Did he have a show here? She questioned. That could be the only reason he’s here right?

“Khalid brought me here. Him and Sienna are going through it.” He answered.

Nora set me up, she brought me out here and set this whole thing up.

Everything was making sense, because even if Khalid and Sienna were going through it, Khalid wouldn’t have left Florida. They set her up, and her body was yearning to just touch him.

“You know they set us up right?” He states, and yeah. If she was going to be pushed in this direction anyways, she didn’t give a damn about the consequences anymore.

“Are we going to take advantage of the opportunity?” London asked softly and it wasn’t something the two had to really think about. They’ve denied themselves what they really wanted for long enough, and if their friends were going to push them into each other’s arms, who were they to fight what everyone else thought they needed too.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Roman and London lost themselves in each other like they usually did, but the feeling wasn’t the same as it was before.

What was so different about tonight?

There was something more profound than lust and sexual tension lingering in the air between them. When Roman pulled her into the room, their lips immediately push against the other and instead of the fast kissing they were used to, it was slow…sensual.

When they broke apart they stared into each other’s eyes. The lines of their friendship was blurred with the unexplainable feeling they were feeling for each other in the moment, they couldn’t pinpoint what that feeling was exactly.

But it’s what made London grab his neck and pull him back down to her. Their lips brushed against one another’s and the hesitation made London pull away but Roman made the choice to close the gap between them. London’s helpless moan slipped from her lips and she melted into the embrace, pushing her body against him as if to make them one.

The taste of him was intoxicating, it was one of the things she missed about him.

Roman led the two to his bed, and London made herself comfortable in his lap. Her hands caressing his shoulders and eventually moved her hands over his strong arms as their lips smothered each others again.

Chills ran through her body when he trailed his hands up her thigh to grip onto her ass, that’s when she knew this was real. She’d fall victim to daydreaming - especially when her and James were trying to get into it but she’d always come back to reality. But this… this was reality. James never touched her like that.

His hands were roaming her body as if taking in this moment would be her last. Her body was vulnerable to his touch, and she could hear her heart beat drum in her ears.

The sweet feeling of his warm body mixed with the throbbing between her legs radiated more than a positive feeling of intense pleasure of her brain. She didn’t know if it was possible to feel the way she felt at the moment: fuzzy at the brain, and warm at the heart.

They didn’t want to rush the moment, especially since it was something her sister wanted to bless them with. Upon seeing her outfit, he fell into their old routine.

“You look like an Angel.” He softly murmured in her ear before he started undressing her. “Most beautiful thing on Earth and It’s all for me isn’t it?”

And there it was, that feeling she was missing rushing back into her lungs almost as she deeply inhaled his words, that feeling of wanting to feel desirable. That feeling from earlier returned but it wasn’t a feeling she could identify at the moment so she focused on the feelings she could.

At the impulse decision of the moment, their bare bodies touched each other’s. As soon as Roman was submerged within her, she swallowed up some of his thick inches with pride and contentment. Undoubtably, her eyes flickered to the back of her head, her lips separated, and her back arched off the bed and pressed to his chest. Being so close to him, was enough to send her body into a frenzy of different emotions. Not only because it felt so good, but because it was him. Because it was Roman.

There’s synchronized movements were coupled. London’s fingernails, digging into his back and the sound of her soft moans only seasoned the moment for the both of them. She pulled his head between the crook of her neck and let her heavy pants fill his ear.

At her own allowance, she caught a sweaty grip onto his arms and extended her legs wider to pull him in deeper than before. She wanted all of it, all of him. She wasn’t holding back on taking anything he was willing to give her; she’s gone long enough without it.

Their lips met again, and while he sucked on her tongue, she let out whimpers of pleasure into the air. Roman had to give himself a silent, prep talk to encourage himself not to cum too fast, it’s been a while since he’s been in her and her wetness was driving him crazy.

He knew what she wanted without her, having to ask for it. The passionate quickening of his strokes, promoted her to tango, her legs around his torso. Her arms in case themselves around his neck; she held onto him for dear life. Her cries of pure delight escalated be on guidance. He fucked her soul into oblivion like he’s done before. She would have never imagined herself calling out God’s name, but she did just that, screeching to the heavens, while she let that dick dominate her cloudy mind and rock her entire existence into a temporary state of belief.

Without any separation between them, they painted all of their essence all over the bed. Roman could feel her in every pulsing vein in his body until he’d consumed all that was left of her.

They were both so lost in the moment that it didn’t register to either of them that a condom was initiated and neither of them seemed to care when Roman groaned into her ear and emptied himself in her. It only made London tighten her legs around his body and keep him trapped in between her legs and she welcomed the feeling of his fluids filling her up.

Never again. She wasn’t letting Roman leave her ever again. If this was wrong, she never wanted to be right. Ever.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Whew😩 this chapter went exactly how I wanted it to. I’m sorry it’s such a long read😩 I just couldn’t break it up. You guys won’t wait that long for the next chapter 😭 I promise.

As per usual please comment and gimme some love 🥹💙

Tagging the lovelies: @whatdoeseverybodywant @theninthwonder @christinabae @2-muchsauce @alichesmi @pitlissa22 @sassginawanmills @harmshake @po3ticb3auty @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @dershalover89 @serena004 @reci1996 @scarlettnoir01 @kill-the-artiste @southerngirl41 @badbitchcentralinc @reignsboy19 @mzv11 @cyberdejos2 @msbigredmachine @msniaimani @skyesthebomb @wanderingreigns @katymae12344 @bebesobrielo @alyyaanna @raya-hunter01

[danikamariewrites]

okay BUTTTT i feel like a very important aspect to being feysand's housewife would also be co-parenting nyx and maybe even getting pregnant with a babe of her own?? feysand would be SO protective and doting of their soft little wifey bringing in their newest night court baby

Housewife part 3

A/n: omg ur so right anon. I think Nyx would love having two moms because that just means another person to love and spoil him

Warnings: poly relationship, pregnancy, and fluff

I think you would come into the relationship when Nyx was 3

They introduced you to Nyx before the inner circle. Even though he didn’t fully understand what was going on he became very attached to you

When you moved in you wanted to spend more time with Nyx

You take him out shopping with you and you always make sure to stop to get him a toy. Feyre and Rhys would give you two a look when you came home and he was holding the new toy. “What? This is the only one he needs to complete his collection.” “Yeah, I need it.” Nyx says with a small giggle at his parents faces

During the days at home you two read together, take naps, play in the garden, or playing g his favorite- hide and seek

Nyx loves to color and paint just like Feyre. You all decided fostering his creativity was important and would let him pursue any activity he wanted

Putting him to bed was always so easy

He loves bedtime stories so one of those and he’s out like a light

When he calls you mom for the first time your heart almost stops and there are tears in your eyes

You two were in the kitchen and you were making Nyx his lunch. He had just turned 4 last week so he asked for some cake with his sandwich and you couldn’t say no to that. Nyx climbed onto a chair and waited patiently for his food. When you set it down in front of him the little boy smiled up at you and said, “Thanks mom.” Before digging in

Of course he had no idea the affect him calling you mom had on you

You crouched down and pulled Nyx into a tight hug. Ruffling his hair you kissed his head. “I love you so much Nyx.” He kissed your cheek, “I love you too mom.”

When you put him down for his nap after lunch you went to Rhys’s office where he and Feyre were talking over some documents. Rhys saw you first and was confused by your tears and smile. “Y/n, is everything ok?” You nod enthusiastically. “Everything’s perfect. Nyx called me mom.” They both started crying as well and embraced you

Feyre is mommy and you’re mom, Nyx made that decision on his own

You absolutely cannot discipline this kid to save your life. Neither can Feyre so you two leave it to Rhys (he’s not very good at it either he folds pretty quick)

Special days with the three of you include going for ice cream, swims in the Sidra, and every month you take Nyx to this cute tea cafe where you eat fancy foods and have tea served in fancy cups

When he starts school the 3 of you don’t know how to handle it. You all cry on his first day not wanting him to go because it means he’s growing up and won’t need you guys one day. But that’s way far ahead

Nyx was happy to go to school, he loves making new friends and playing with the other kids

You all take turns dropping him off at school or sometimes you and Feyre drop him off together and get breakfast in the city

You always pick Nyx up and get an after school treat together where he tells you all about what he did in school

There were times when Nyx was sad and you guys never knew who he’d want to comfort him

One day when you picked Nyx up from school he had an angry scowl on his face and he was silent the whole way home. Feyre and Rhys were there to greet you at the door but he just ran up to his room and slammed the door

“What’s wrong?” Feyre asked worriedly. “I don’t know. He was quiet the whole way home. I asked but…nothing.” You started biting your lip as your mind raced. Was he being bullied? Did his teacher yell at him? Rhys heard you and Feyre having similar thoughts. He rested a hand on each of your shoulders, “I’ll go talk to him.”

Rhys got no where with Nyx. You guys accepted defeat and called in backup. Cassian and Azriel. They called themselves the A-team while referring to you 3 as the B-team (not true they are just very cocky)

After an hour of talking with Nyx they all came downstairs. Nyx climbed on the couch shoving himself between Rhys and Feyre. Cassian crouched down in front of him, “It’s ok Nyx, tell them what you told us.” He gave the little boy a reassuring smile. When you looked at Azriel you got a different vibe. The shadowsinger looked like he was about the kill someone. “Titus made fun of my family picture I drew. He got yelled at but I’m still mad.”

You swear you heard all 3 of your hearts break at once. That night you talked to Nyx about how all families are different and not everyone is going to understand that. He seemed better after that and said he would ignore Titus from now on

When you get pregnant you, Feyre, and Rhys were so excited to grow your family

The first person you guys told was Nyx

You were a little nervous telling him. How would he react? Would he hate you now? Would he be upset because all the attention would be on the new babe? You didn’t want your little guy to feel unloved or anything

You cried yourself to sleep over this in Rhys and Feyre’s arms the night before you told him

The next day you took him out for a special family day for ice cream and a new toy

When you got home your palms were sweating from nerves

Rhys ushered you all into the living room telling Nyx that you had big new to share with him. Rhys sat him in one of the Illyrian armchairs

“Nyx, we have something very important to tell you.” Rhys started. “Yes and we want you to know that we love you and this is going to be a big change, but a good one.” Feyre adds. You were supposed to bring it home and deliver the news. “You’re going to be a big brother honey. I’m pregnant, isn’t that exciting.”

Nyx just blinked at you a few times the smiled. “Will I have a brother or sister? Will they have wings too? Oh, when will they be here?” He was bouncing up and down with excitement in the big armchair

As your pregnancy went on and your belly got bigger Nyx loved saying hi to his sibling

He also loved to pat your belly and ask if you needed anything, he was just adorable

You guys pull nap on the couch together and he would read his books out loud so his little sibling would know his favorite books

[bullet-prooflove]

Goodbye Sam: Sam Abrams x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @caffeinatedwoman @maryelizabeth13 @toasted-stiletto @district447

Companion piece to:

Divorce!Series:

Part One: The Fight Before Christmas - You and Sam get into a fight after he discovers you've been keeping a secret from him.

Part Two: Should Have - There's a lot of things Sam should have done.

Part Three: Fraught - Sam makes a decision regarding your relationship.

Part Four: Sign Here - Sam serves you with divorce papers.

Part Five: Don't Look Back - After running into you at the hospital Sam tries to convince himself not to look back.

Part Six: Lost - You and Sam reaquaint the day the divorce comes through.

Part Seven: Martial Affairs - There's debate regarding yours and Sam's status.

Part Eight: The Fall - Sam and you end up back where you started before the divorce.

Part Nine: Couples Counselling - Sam and you start to date again after couple's counselling.

Part Ten: Mrs. Fuckin' Polite - Sam walks into a nightmare when he comes home one night.

It’s Sam’s last night in Chicago and you’ve both tried to make it as perfect as possible. Dinner at Orphino’s, a moonlit walk through the park with gelato from ‘The Little Italian Place’ just like on the night the two of you met. It seems fitting that it circles back like this. It’s how your marriage started, now it’s how it ends.

You find yourself back at the house you once shared, Sam undressing you in the illumination of the candlelight, Etta James serenading you in the background. He takes his time loving you, his lips exploring every single inch of bare skin before you climax on his tongue. He’ll never get tired of that taste, he’s going to miss it when he’s gone. You’re flushed and overwrought by the time he enters you, your fingers entwining as his mouth covers yours, drinking down your pleasure.

The two of you move together in the flickering light, the ecstasy building into a crescendo as you tighten underneath him.

“I love you.” He whispers at the height of it all because he knows he won’t get to say it again. He stays for as long as he can in the aftermath, his thumb ghosting over your cheek as he lays tangled up in you.

“I’m going to miss this.” He whispers against your lips “I’m going to miss you.”

You fall asleep wrapped up in one another until his phone chimes a couple of hours later rousing you, reminding him of his flight. He dresses in the glow from the burnt down candles as you drape your robe over your naked form. Your fingers interlink with his as you walk him to the door, his suitcase already perched alongside of it, waiting.

“So this is goodbye.” You say quietly as he lingers and Sam swallows hard against the well of emotion in his chest.

“Yea.” He whispers, his forehead coming to rest upon yours. “Elle I…”

There are so many things he wants to say but all of them are redundant because in the end it all comes down to this.

He has to go and you have to stay.

After Lucy’s rapist Marcus Croyton had been released back into the wild, the fear of running into him, of it happening again became too much. She suffered a break down and was now recovering in a facility in New York, where she could be close to her mother. Sam had dropped everything immediately, taking a sabbatical to support her before he’d made the decision to relocate, taking a position in Mount Sinai Hospital.

“I know I can’t ask you to come with me.” He’d told you, his hand clasping your hand tightly in his over dinner one evening. “You need to be here for your patients, for your mother…”

She’d been diagnosed with Parkinson’s a few months before, she was rapidly declining and you needed to be here to help her manage the condition.

“And you need to be with your daughter.” You’d finished, squeezing his hand in solidarity. “It’s ok Sam, I understand.”

You do and that’s one of the reasons that Sam loves you, because you support him with the hard choices, even when they break both of your hearts.

“Goodbye Elle.” He whispers as he kisses you one last time.

“Goodbye Sam.” You say as you open the door and watch the man you love walk away for good.

Love Sam? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[erikftglitter]

Ch 1 | The Piteous Life of Dr. Stevens’ New Wife

Killmonger AU

Created By: Erikftglitter

“Hey Dr. Stevens. It’s Kari. I just wanted to thank you again for the kind gesture.”

Erik read the message several times before exuding a deep sigh. He had spent most of the night trying to forget the younger woman, but the universe was setting him up for failure.

She’s practically in our hands, Erik.

He wanted to silence the overbearing thoughts from flowing but he couldn’t help but to also think that it was true. Didn’t he deserve the woman and kids that Kari, and so many others, mentioned to him before? Did he really want to commit to dying alone in a world like this?

“No need to thank me Kari. Thank you for not contacting the board about our collision.”

Erik found himself humored with his own response. Little did he know that Kari was gushing from the desk chair that she was texting from. Could this be? She wondered if the doctor would really be interested in seeing her again. Well, seeing her under normal circumstances.

“I won’t…. Only if you allow me to be your tour guide.”

Kari was persistent, inexperienced, but persistent to get the ex-SEAL out of the house. She surprised herself with her forwardness but the clock was ticking and her local blue-collared men were no where near as appealing as Dr. Stevens.

“A man of my word, that I am. Saturday?”

Erik needed to be strategic about his decisions moving forward if he wanted this woman to live. His self deprivation was starting to take a toll on him. He knew that it wouldn’t take long for it boil over once Kari was in his presence.

Just thinking about the girl’s astonishing aura and utter beauty made Erik’s dick jump yet again. What was it about her? He thought back to the initial moment when they locked eyes. She could not maintain eye contact and that certainly enamored him. He could spot a submissive woman quite easily.

Not just someone who was infatuated by the idea of being dominated by him, but someone who was completely meek. Someone who would be most compliant tied up and fucked to the state of oblivion. Kari Evans radiated that. Erik was 99% percent that his declaration of the girl was correct but he’d be patient enough to find out.

“Yes. Wear comfy shoes.”

Erik was more than pleased to return back to work. To focus on a ruptured appendix, or to remove someone’s gallbladder, or even just to guide one of his residents through a hemorrhoid surgery, supplied him a reasonable amount of distraction time. During surgery his main focus was his performance efficiency. Dr. Erik Stevens did not kill patients. One of the reasons the he remains one of the highest earners in the nation is due to that. Erik knew his limitations and typically did not engage in anything that would kill anyone, inside and outside of the operating room, post departure from the Navy.

“Dr. Stevens. Got a minute?” Erik glanced up from his seat at the computer and signaled for the man to continue.

“I was looking over Mrs. Gutierrez’s files, the one who was just transferred, and she’s rejecting the transplant.”

Erik’s face fell into a deep frown. In only his three months at Oregon State Hospital, he’s noticing the consistent errors being completed by the competing hospital. Once their team botches a surgery; Erik and his team are left to clean up the mess.

“Another transplant this soon would kill her before the week ends. Contact her family and consult about the removal. If they wait then the sepsis will spread.”

Erik looked at the extent of the damage on the results that his resident provided. He’s not completely successful just because of his own experience. Thankfully Oregon welcomed him with a skilled team upon his negotiation and he was provided with them when he arrived. He wasn’t fond of many people in his life, but some of his team made his job rewarding.

“Great call.” He murmured to himself. He learned from his mentor, that learned from his mentor, and so forth, that praising young professionals too early made them arrogant. Made them incompetent surgeons who overlooked misplaced sutures, mistreated nurses, and failed to remain at the peak of their performance. The younger surgeon reminded him of himself. That was as respected as he could be.

Kari on the other hand was not having a good time. One of her middle schoolers thought it was a great idea to climb a tree and ultimately suffered a great fall. Why? Kari didn’t have the time to asks as the girl was soaking blood through her jeans.

With trembly hands, Kari used her walkie talkie to call for an ambulance and tried her best to soothe the hysterical girl.

“It’s okay. I got you.” Kari must have repeated that a thousand times before the first responders arrived.

“Ms. Evans. Nina will not cooperate unless you ride with her.” Principal Grant said to Nina as she stood up to disregard the abundance of bloody tissues.

“Don’t worry about the sub plans. The parents would like if you accompanied her as well.” He gave her an empathetic look. “Thank you for being one of good ones.” He whispered when Kari was helped in the ambulance by the first responders.

It was true. Kari was an extraordinary educator. Each of her students were individualized. She knew their strengths, allergies, their personalities, and their ability to learn. Because Caber City’s public school system was barely funded by the state of Oregon, most of teachers were underpaid. Most teachers married rich and taught for a hobby. The students rarely got the opportunity to experience a memorable relationship with education, but Kari made it her mission to change that.

Because she was young and unmarried with a strong sense of change, she was immediately disliked by her coworkers. She grew to pity their lives instead of watching in sorrow. Her students had the highest grades, standardized test scores, and overall success. That was no coincidence and it didn’t go unnoticed. If Kari wasn’t good at anything else she knew that she was a wonderful teacher. Years of watching and modeling her grandmother instilled that in her. She remembered her everyday.

“What’s going? How’d this happen?” Kari met the frantic parents as soon as she arrived at the hospital.

“During her lunch hour she wandered off to a tree and fell several feet from the ground.” The gasps from Nina’s parents troubled Kari. She hated bad news and bad things in general.

“I’m very sorry that this happened. I’ll go now, but I wanted to ensure that Nina was safely taken to the hospital.” Kari spoke again. Not really sure what else she could provide to these poor girls’ parents.

Nina’s mother spoke again. “Thank you for riding with her. She hates hospitals and probably would have passed out if she had to go alone.” Even though the shakiness, Kari understood every word. These were the moments that made her restless nights worth it.

Kari reached her hand to Nina’s mom, and looked at both parents, “She’s a very sweet girl. They’ll take great care of her.” With her final comment she began to frantically rush out the hospital herself. She hated hospitals just as much. With the amount of dried blood on her own clothes she knew that it wouldn’t be long before her own panic attack started.

Kari didn’t care about who she was running past, she just knew that she needed fresh air before she began to hyperventilate. The memories of finding her own grandparents in pools of blood haunted her. Drunk drivers collided with their car and drove away, killing both of the people who raised her.

“Kari?”

“Oh shit. Kari. Breathe.”

“Breathe.”

Erik took in the scene in front of him. There was no way this was yet another coincidence. This was going to be the one that one that Kill was going to play with.

With guided breaths and some gentle touches of encouragement, Kari was able to control her breathing. She’s not sure when she realized that it was Dr. Stevens she had been talking to, but at least it saved her the embarrassment of passing out in the middle of the road. She hadn’t thought about the fact that she was in the doctor’s proximity.

Between the wails of her student and the acquisition of her own trauma, she didn’t have much time to think about Erik.

“It’s alright Kitten.”

—

@ladymac82 :)

[abibliophobiaa]

the ghost of you

eddie munson x f!reader. (1.2k words).

warnings: grief; angst; major character death.

——

Raining.

It always rained on crappy days. The ones where clients yelled, your boss had you contemplating how much you really needed your job, when coworkers had you ready to toss your notebook across the workroom and shout into the open air just to expel some of the stress radiating from your form.

It also happened to rain on a day you thought you might try and get some fresh air for once, what with the weather warming in Hawkins after a brutal few months. You regretted that decision now — regretted even more so that you left your jacket at home, deeming your blouse enough to keep you warm from the slight chill still clinging to the air as spring turned into summer.

That same blouse clung to your form now. Felt like it was pasted to your body as you flicked on the light to your apartment, illuminating the space. Take away boxes lined the countertops. Your coffee table still had one too many mugs on the surface. The dishes were piled high in the sink. The garbage probably needed to be taken out soon, but you decided that was for another day.

You huffed a sigh, stripping down to your bra as you marched down the short hall into your bedroom, brushing your fingers along the strings of Eddie’s guitar as you always did before pulling out a long tee shirt and slipping it over your form. Jeans were kicked off your thighs and shorts were tugged on to replace them, feet sliding into a pair of slippers on your side of the bed.

Humming to yourself, you began washing the dishes in the sink, listening to voicemail after voicemail left on your answering machine. The last of which being Steve’s voice spilling through the speaker, “Hoping today went well. First day back, right? If you need anything, let us know. Rob and I love you, okay?”

A smile quirked your lips, growing further as a pair of arms slipped around your form, pulling you against a firm chest. “Careful with that knife, baby. You know what happened last time. Can’t afford another ER bill.”

You huffed out a laugh, dropping the knife into the dish rack. “Maybe I wouldn’t have needed three stitches if you hadn’t distracted me that day with your wandering hands, would I?”

“Touché, sweetheart,” he snorted, hopping up onto the counter. “Rough day?”

“Everyone…was fine.”

“Just fine?”

With a nod, you said, “Just treated me differently. Like I was, I don’t know, fragile. Walked around me like they were all on eggshells.”

“And how are you feeling?” he asked, head tipping to the side. “Today was a big day.”

It was. First day back, just like Steve said. “I’m…okay.”

“Just okay?”

“Just…okay.” How could you be anything but? “I missed you. I always miss you.”

“I know,” Eddie sighed. “Baby, you’re wearing a mark into that dish.”

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered out. Tossed the dish into the sink. Sunk down with your back against the kitchen cabinets, knees curled tight to your chest. “I thought I could do it, but I can’t.”

Eddie appeared near your hip, a hand on your shoulder, lips at your temple. “And that’s okay. No one said it needed to be today — or even next week. Hell, not even next year. There are no timelines on this shit.”

“There should be no timeline at all,” you cried, pushing into the heat of his body, the circle of his arms. “It shouldn’t have happened at all.”

“Life is cruel. We don’t always get what we want. We make plans and the guy upstairs laughs, right?” Eddie chuckled weakly, a watery thing, a sound that cleaved your heart. “But you tried. And that’s all that matters. I’m proud of you.”

“It's just…I hate this.” Your head fell against his lap, his fingers curling with your own, his other palm resting against your hip. “It feels like there’s this giant hole in my chest and it’s never going to go away. Every time it beats is a reminder of how different everything is — how unfair it all is. How I’m like this and —”

“It won’t always be this way,” he whispered, holding your fingers tighter, holding you closer. “It’s hard now. It feels like shit now. But every day you’re doing better. You’re smiling more. You’re taking care of yourself. Laughing — and you know I love that laugh. There will be those moments where you’re back there, where you remember. And you’ll always remember. One day you’ll find it won’t hurt as much. It’ll still be there, it’ll have happened, but it won’t feel like this impossible thing.”

“That scares me the most,” you choked out, back of your hand swiping at your eyes. “The pain makes it real. It makes us real. It makes you real. If it goes away…I’m afraid I’ll start to forget. That it’ll have all been a memory.”

“Baby…”

“I don’t want to close my eyes some nights, because that’s usually when I daydream, and I’m starting to forget all the lines of your face. The dimple in your smile. Exactly how your hair falls. I forget the sound of your laugh, your voice…I miss the sound of your heartbeat every night.”

You breathed in a shaky breath, heart shattering in your chest. “I’m afraid I’ll wake up one day and you’ll be gone. Forever this time.”

At least now you have him like this.

Like a ghost you dance with every night in your living room.

“I’ll always be with you, you know?” He pushed at your shoulder a little, rolling you onto your back, your head still in his lap. His hand rested over your sternum, over the space behind your ribs where your vital organ twisted painfully. “Right here. Corny as it is, but I’m allowed a pass because I’m —”

“Don’t say it,” you pleaded, cupping his cheek with a palm.

You couldn’t feel him — not really. But you pretended when he visited you like this. Tried to remember, tried to hold on to what once was — what would no longer be.

“I’ll love you forever, you know?”

Tears glowed in his eyes.

Unshed, yet there all the same.

“I died loving you,” he continued, “so it’ll always be true.”

“I think you took some of that love with you,” you whimpered, trying to remember the way his forehead felt against yours as you leaned up to rest yours against his.

“You’ll love again,” he said, though you vehemently shook your head ‘no.’ “Your heart's too big to keep it shut forever.”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

He smiled softly. “Then we won’t. Not today, okay? Come here. Let me hold you.”

He stood to his feet, holding out a hand to you. You stood in the circle of his arms, cradled in his love, praying that this wasn’t the last time. Just like you did every time he came to visit before it.

“I like this with you — dancing with you in our kitchen.” He whispered the words against the crown of your head. You rested your ear against his quiet chest. “I wish I had told you more…before.”

“You can tell me now.”

“I like dancing with you in our kitchen.”

“Me too,” you told him, swaying to the sound of the rain falling outside. “Please tell me you’ll be back.”

“I will.” A promise. “One day I won’t be, though. And you’ll be okay.”

“But not today?” you pleaded, looking up into those eyes you missed so much.

“Not today.” He sealed the promise with the whisper of a kiss. “Today I just want to hold you.”

——

[icyg4l]

PAC: What Should You Do for Spring Break?

For my college babes who need ideas on what to do for the next couple of days or next month, I got you with this one! This marks one of two posts being made today! Yayyy! Without further ado, please pick your pile.

Left-to-Right: (1-3)

Pile 1: Pile One, you need to play it cool for your spring break. I feel like you really just need to let loose. Flirt a little. I see the wing of an airplane in my third eye, which lets me know that you should book a last minute flight. Try to go to a place that’s not a hot spot. Where do you feel called to? I also think you do some exploring within your city. Take a mini road trip! I specifically see a bar at night but with dancing, square dancing. Do any of you live in Texas? If not, you should take a road trip down to Texas! This is for a very select group of you, but you should elope with your significant other. It sounds crazy but your ancestral team supports it. If you’re single and ready to mingle, then you should go on a date. Perhaps a sip and paint? Maybe go to a lounge? I see a stable relationship forming from this date. You should go to a sporting event, if you can score some tickets! I saw a bowling ball, so you should definitely go bowling as well.  And lastly, you should do something that helps you recalibrate like go to a spa! You deserve it girl! 

Cards Used: Queen of Cups, Page of Wands, 2 of Discs, Temperance, King of Discs, Ace of Cups, The Hierophant, Queen of Wands. 

Signs: Pisces, Aries, Virgo, Sagittarius, Taurus. 

extras: “youngin.” bounce back. rainbows. nickleback. forty ounces. legs. promenade. bad memory. punta canta. tallahassee. white chicks. grimace. kissy face.

Pile 2: Pile Two, you need to retreat. I feel like you’ve been separating yourself from the crowd for a reason. You definitely need to be by yourself at this time. Take some time out for yourself and just relax. I don’t think this pile does this often, so you should take a smoke break. I saw the meme of that girl talking about conspiracy theories while smoking a blunt lmao. I also heard the word “cleansing”, so you should definitely take the time to release any past energies. Let it all go. Honestly, if you’re in a relationship, it’s time to leave it in the past. I do see that it’ll be a mutual decision so no one will really be broken hearted. Some things simply just run its course. Refrain from doing anything impulsive, it will backfire. I think that you should also spend more time with your family (chosen or biological). You tend to take them for granted & you need those moments to bond with them. Focus on setting goals for the springtime. You have a lot that you want to accomplish and it won’t get done if you don’t take action. 

Cards Used: Queen of Cups, 7 of Discs, 10 of Cups, The Moon (RX), Eight of Cups, The Fool (RX), The Lovers (RX), Ace of Discs, 7 of Cups. 

Signs: Leo, Gemini, Aries, Capricorn, Virgo. 

extras: normani. LAX. number 7. walking on water. valerie. virus. calling an 800 number. rotating dial. pleasure seeker. 

Pile 3: Pile Three, this is the perfect time to get situated. Start spring cleaning so that you can get rid of those loose ends. Do any tedious chores that you've been procrastinating on. Cut your grass. Wipe/dust your walls. Clean out your refrigerator. Another thing that you can do is write letters to your future self and hide them. I feel like this pile is wondrous and always like to plan ahead. So why not put your hopes of the future all on one page? Pile Three, you need to be comfortable with just doing nothing at times as well. I think that after all of this cleaning, you owe it to yourself to be a couch potato. You aren’t a slacker if you just sit down and crack open a bag of potato chips to watch Orange is the New Black. It just makes you human. But after all of this, you could also make an appointment with a spiritual advisor to get a spiritual cleansing or get a tarot reading from them, specifically someone who is new to you. If you do not have access to a spiritual advisor, give yourself a spiritual bath or an egg cleanse. It is best to make new connections at this time, specifically with those who have friends in higher places if you know what I mean. I channeled Dr. Facilier from The Princess and the Frog. And lastly, what you could do during spring break is implement new workout habits. This could be going to the gym, taking daily walks, finding a yoga routine, going to a pilates class, hiking or even taking a kickboxing class. Spirit wants you to not be super inactive during this break. It’s called balance. You need to learn how to not be so extreme, Pile Three. You can walk and chew bubble gum at the same time, you know? 

Cards Used: The Emperor, The Fool, The High Priestess, 10 of Discs, 4 of Cups, The Hermit (RX), 7 of Wands, The Sun. 

Signs: Aries, Capricorn, Libra, Gemini, Sagittarius. 

extras: lovely day. “pardon me.” obsession with teyana taylor. abs. long natural nails. fiber intake. dog fur. headband wig. “shawty.” spooky. virginia. love letters. less fortunate. excess. lonely spell. castaways. 

[milawritesstuff]

Acrostico Part 2

This is not the end! I have been having a hard time getting back to writing and this story has been in my drafts for weeks (if not now months) because I just don't like it? But I decided to publish half of it to see how it goes. I will see, based on your reactions to this part, what direction I take with Part 3 which will be the final part.

Part 1

... Enjoy :) ...

You could hear Rosie’s giggles in your sleep, a sound that always brought you comfort. Another voice creeped in, “Aqui esta papa.” Dad’s here. Pedri’s voice joined Rosie’s laugh.

You opened your eyes and were met with the bedroom that you had woken up countless of times in. The firs time he had told you he loved you was in this bedroom but this was also where he had broken your heart countless of times. Leave if you want to, I’m not going to be you to stay. He had said as you toyed with the idea of telling him you were pregnant months back. You were so close to telling him and letting him decide whether you stayed or not but his words solidified that you were making the right decision in keeping him out.

Next to you was an empty bed. Pedri’s scent, which intoxicated your lungs, still remained in the sheets that were now wrapped around your body. You rubbed your eyes as the crisp Barcelona air crept into the room and the events of the night before came to your mind. 

-Please stay.- Pedri pleaded. He held your hand in between his, his eyes were red and wet.

It was too late for you and Rosie to take the train back to Valencia and she had fallen asleep, in his arms non other. Pedri had let the two of you stay in his bedroom while he took the guest room where he spent the night tossing and turning trying to come to terms with the fact that he was a dad. His mind couldn’t stop racing from one thing to the next, how he would tell his family, what the media would say, how to make sure that you and Rosie never left. 

You got out of bed and put on your cardigan, making your way towards the hallway. Rosie’s giggles served as directions of where to go. When you arrived to the end of the hallway you stood there as you saw Pedri and Rosie playing peek-a-boo. Rosie had been giggling for so long that her cheeks were now tinted pink while Pedri hid behind his hands making her think he had left. “Aqui esta papa.” Pedri continued to say as Rosie laughed. 

You smiled and felt as your stomach filled with an intense warmness but at the same time you felt your throat choke up. Your eyes filled with tears. You had felt that it was unfair for Pedri to have missed out on Rosie’s life up to now, but now seeing the two together, you knew the universe had been unfair with the three of you.

Finally you took a few steps towards the pair and they both turned around to look at you. The two almost identical brown eyes fixated on you. You offered Pedri a shy smile. He opened his eyes wide and smiled back. As you took your hand and placed strands of hair behind your ear you turned to look at Rosie who was yelling out “mama!” 

Pedri turned around to look at Rosie with a smile. “Mom’s awake.” You took a few more steps towards them and bent down to put Rosie in your arms. You gave her a kiss on her forehead and she smiled while Pedri remained on the ground staring at the two of you. 

- We can go out for breakfast. Or I can make something here, whatever you want.

You stood there staring at Pedri and gave him an apologetic smile. - I think it’s time for Rosie and I to go home. I’ll call you so that you can see her. I can bring her to you.

You took a few steps back towards the bedroom when you heard his voice. 

-Please.- Pedri pleaded. - Stay. -

-We can’t Pedri. 

-Vamos, you told me it’s been difficult. 

-It has, but … I don’t want to owe you anything.

Pedri stared at you and drove his fingers through his hair. - You won’t, she's mine too.- His eyes diverted towards Rosie who was still in your arms. You looked at him and the way that the looked at Rosie. It was unbelievable how much love he had for her despite having just met her. But your mother was right, blood calls. 

-I’m sure your mom needs a rest. I’ll help you as much as I can. I’ll hire someone to help us while I’m at practice. We can do this together.- Pedri went on.

His eyes locked with yours. You stood there staring at him without any true expression on your face. He looked down at the floor and shook his head.

-I didn’t mean to say together. We can do this for her. You and I don’t have to be together together if you don’t want to. -

And the thing is that as a mother you knew Pedri was doing the right thing. Offering to do whatever it was so that Rosie had a good life, a life with him in it. But as you, as an individual, it broke your heart to hear that he was solely doing it for her. It truly didn’t matter to him whether you wanted to be with him as long as his girl was around. 

You ended up agreeing to stay. And not because you wanted to but because despite everything it was almost impossible for you to say no to him. Eventually, you thought, you would return to Valencia … after you were unable to find a job or your university didn’t allow you to transfer back to Barcelona. But that never happened.

Life became somewhat of a routine with Pedri. He hated waking up early but he did it for Rosie. They spent the first few hours of the day together, cooking breakfast and playing before he had to leave for practice. When practice was over he would rush home to put her to sleep. He seldom went out with his friends because he just wanted to be home with her, almost as if he feared she would soon be gone again.

You looked over at your phone and waited to hear Pedri walking into the door. The day had been difficult between work and school for you and you still had to read for the following day’s classes. A sight of relief left your mouth when you heard Rosie’s bedroom door open and in walked Pedri. 

-Hi. I'm sorry practice went on for a bit longer, did I make it on time?- He asked as he walked in. You smiled. 

-You made it just in time.- You said pointing over to Rosie who was on the bedroom floor with a book in her hand. - She’s been waiting for you.- 

Pedri smiled and walked over to pick up Rosie in his arms. He placed a kiss on her forehead and sat her on his lap to start reading. You stepped out of the bedroom quietly quickly walking towards the living room to look for your own books. 

You sat there for a while until you decided to take a water break. You walked into the kitchen and as you walked back out you were startled with Pedri who was walking out of Rosie’s room.

-She’s finally down.- He said with a smile. You smiled back and walked towards your books.

-She had a long day. She was a bit tired but of course had to wait for dad. -

-She has so much energy.- Pedri answered tow which you turned to look at him and laughed. Pedri stood there staring at you.

-I’m sorry … If you want to watch TV I can go and read in my room.- You said.

Pedri took a few steps towards you. - No, please stay. It reminds me of those nights you spent studying while I kept you company. - 

Pedri stood right behind you and you closed your eyes as you felt his arms go over your shoulders. For a few seconds you took in his warm touch, reminding you of the massages he would give you while you studied. Quickly you took yourself out of the trance that Pedri’s touch put you in and opened your eyes. You closed shut your book and stood up quickly.

When you turned around you were met with the warmth of Pedri's body against yours. He knew he couldn’t force you to feel what you felt before for him, for everything to be as it was before you left. He knew he had hurt you and your complete forgiveness was lightyears away. 

His eyes fixated on yours. 

-Please don’t leave.- He whispered - Finish what you have to do.-

-I can’t do this Pedri.- You responded surprising yourself. Your body against his, your hands rested on his chest allowing you to feel his heart beating a thousand miles per hour. His scent intoxicated your lungs making you lose your senses. His eyes looked down and he offered you an adorable smile. His gaze then went towards your lips which you licked instinctively.

-Do what?- He responded, but before you could say anything you felt his body get closer to you, as if that was possible. You closed your eyes and allowed his lips to wrap yours in. His kisses had the same sweet taste that they did years back. His tongue slowly began to explore your mouth and you moved your hands to caress the back of his neck. You didn’t want to let go and he didn’t want to either.

And he had not dared tried this before. He would look at you with love in his eyes but had made sure not to say anything. You had found him several times staring at you with a smile but he never said anything. He knew that one day he would be able to say it to you once again, that he loved you, but the timing wasn’t right. But that night, he didn’t care. He needed to feel you again, he needed to know if you still felt the same way.

But everything must come to an end. You felt that you needed to breathe and it was necessary to separate from him. You didn’t want to because it meant that it wouldn’t happen again. But you had to. You broke off the kiss.

He looked at you with a smile and in an instant his fingers went up to graze his lips. It was almost as if he wanted to keep the memory of your lips.

-Good night.- You said. He remained there quietly as you turned around to pick up your books.

-No, Y/N … please.-

You turned back to look at him. His hand on your arm.

-Good night, Pedri. - You said once again, this time with more power and he accepted the hint.

-Good night.-

A few days later Pedri had invited you and Rosie to a match at Camp Nou. A few months had passed and the news that Pedri was a father had caused commotion about it had now died down. 

-Let’s go wait for Papa.- You whispered to Rosie while the two of you walked through the tunnels at the end of the match. A few minutes later Pedri surprised you yelling from behind. You stopped walking and turned around to look at him. You smiled as he walked towards Rosie and you, his red cheeks never failed to amaze you. He took Rosie in his arms and walked her over to some of his teammates while you stood there.

A few seconds later a low “hey" took you out of your own thoughts. When you turned around you were met with Alex Collado’s smile. He used to be Pedri’s teammate but he now played in Elche.

-Alex! - You smiled and he took you in his arms in a soft hug. - It’s been so long-  You said to which Alex smiled. - Yeah, last time we saw each other you weren’t a mom yet.- The two of you laughed as you remembered that the last time you had seen Alex him and Pedri almost got into a fight because of you.

-Well, things changes.- You said.

-And at the end, you ended up with Pedri. He won.- Alex commented with a smirk.

-Well, not exactly.- you explained. - He’s her dad but that’s it.-

Alex looked at you with a confused look on his face. - So what does that mean? That I don’t have to ask him for permission for you to go out with me?-

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[heartofwritiing]

i loved your latest fic! could you do maybe contentcreator!reader and wilbur maybe going on their first date? or maybe helping her move into her new flat after permanently moving to Brighton as mentioned in your fic? tysm!

By the Sea

paring: cc!wilbur x fem!cc!reader

summary: you move to brighton, and wilbur helps you move into your new apartment. a part two to this work :)

authors note: sorry this took me soo long to get out, i hope you like it anon! i have barely any motivation to write, this was kinda thrown together. i’m not sure what to do :/

happy valentine’s day lovely followers :) 💌

warnings: not much just fluff, reader is an overthinker, short, super unedited!

Bringing up the last of the boxes up to your new apartment, you drop the box in your arms on top of another with an exasperated sigh. You were finally done climbing up three flights of stairs and could catch your breath.

You would have to remind yourself next time to find a place on the ground floor with availability, because this was insane.

You didn’t even want to imagine carrying groceries up every week now. Thank god for delivery apps…

Moving to Brighton was a plan months in the making. Countless visits to check out apartments in your price range, searching different parts of town you liked better than others took trial and error.

Eventually, you had found a perfect place not too far from your best friend Wilbur's place, who had been with you every step of the way through this whole process.

Wilbur was one of the reasons you were moving to another country in the first place. He had convinced you after your first visit last year to move in after you made a comment about wanting to move to the town by the sea after only visiting once.

Which was crazy, so you waited a year before making such a big decision. Speaking off;

You can hear grunting and panting coming from down the hall and you completely forget about your best friend who was helping you move in. Wilbur comes around the corner of the hall carrying the very last box in his lanky arms with a bead of sweat running down from his forehead.

His curls sticking to his skin showed he had worked up just as much of a sweat as you and you feel guilty making him carry some of your heavier things. He kicks your front door closed with his foot and places it on the kitchen counter with a thud.

As he makes his way to the couch, taking off his sweater you catch his shirt riding up to reveal skin before he fixes it. A blush rises to your cheeks and quickly spreads. Thankfully, he didn't notice you staring when he flops down next to you and sighs with his head thrown back against the couch cushions.

"Remind me to hire movers next time." you laugh, still out of breath.

Wilbur turns his head to you.

"You sure know how to make a guy break a sweat, darling," he hums.

A blush rises on your cheeks at the implication of his words. He laughs with a crinkle around his eyes with a mischievous grin.

You're looking forward to more moments like these with him. Butterflies flutter around your tummy knowing that you’ll have so many more.

You can't help the guilt creeping up for making him carry all these cardboard boxes with your life held inside. Thinking maybe he thought you were taking advantage of him.

"I'm sorry I dragged you into this, how can I make it up to you?"

Wilbur frowns, takes your hand resting by your side, and laces your fingers together with his. You had only been here a week, but over time you visited, Wilbur had gotten bolder with his touches.

Hand-holding wasn't new to you both, since that first night you'd met in person it had become second nature after admitting your feelings. You both had become accustomed to it quickly, opting to grab the other's hand in stressful situations or just as a comfort and reassurance.

"You didn't drag me into anything, If I didn't wanna help you I wouldn't have," he promised. "You don't have to make anything up to me."

“but-“

“Nope, I won’t allow you to feel guilty over this.” Wilbur reaches his free hand up to boop your nose.

With a pout set over your lips, knowing you weren't in the mood to argue with him further. You scoot closer to him and lean your head on his shoulder to peer up at him and admire his side profile.

The shape of his nose was adorable from this angle, coming to a soft point that made you wanna kiss it.

Your gaze trailed down to the stubble around his jaw and before you even thought about it, you instinctively reached your free hand up to feel the slight scratch against your finger tips.

Wilbur didn’t swat your hand away, only turned his head so you had better access to move your nails to scratch lightly.

"But I wanna make it up to you," you say under your breath. Not sure if he heard you, your eyes met his again in question.

There’s a look in his eyes that tells you he wants to tell you what he wants. You would do anything for him. Without hesitance. Which sounded insane in your head.

Wilbur scoots down so he’s level with your face, and your suddenly so aware how close he is. Your knees touching and your hands still tangled together.

“tell you what? how about you let me take you out on a date?” he asks smoothly. “Then we’ll call it even, darling.”

You don’t know what to say. You weren’t expecting him to offer to take you on a date. A real date with your best friend. A night out together where you wouldn’t be surrounded by your other friends.

You swear you catch his eyes flicker down to your lips for a second. It would be bold of you to lean forward and kiss him right now, so you hesitate leaning forward.

Oh how you’ve wanted to since you first saw him last year, but you couldn’t. It would’ve ruined everything. If only you knew how much he wanted it too.

A date with him sounded wonderful but, you were too tired to even think about getting yourself all dressed up to go out tonight.

“how bout we order pizza, stay in and watch youtube videos for tonight.” you suggested.

“I’d say you got yourself a deal.”

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