#but i wish to walk forward | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nefskullcritique · 3 months ago

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gonna clean up some posts from this blog and then close the ask box in like,,, a week. i don't see a point to keeping it open anymore and while i think i should delete or like... private this blog, there's a lot of archived information on here.

either way, with time i've decided that blogs/documentation/accounts dedicated to people shouldn't really... be a thing, and i'm frustrated with my past self for putting a foot in the door of being added to this blog.

i hope the victims of this person can move on and heal from their abuse. i hope volt learns to improve as a person and stop hurting others. i hope nobody tries to follow in my footsteps.

thank you to the people who've stuck with this blog for so long but officially i'm killing it here and moving on.

#i just #i have a girlfriend now and i have a good system of people around me #i'm happy and healthy #and after going through life and trying to be part of communities like this?#no thank you #please be kind to one another #please have e #empathy for one another #nobody should ever have to bear this burden #not me #not anyone else #nobody #i am deeply sorry to people i may have hurt in the past #i cannot undo what i have done #but i wish to walk forward #and grow as a person #just as we as people are born to do #i love you all

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kangals · 1 year ago

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day 3! we’ve had a lot of fun up here but I’m kind of relieved to be heading back home tomorrow, we’re both pretty tired after all of the hiking. hopefully we can come back one day!

#I fully understand why they don’t but I wish more natl parks allowed dogs #this has been such a fun trip #but oof my stamina has halved after every day lmao even Stellina is feeling it #she started just sitting her ass down when we paused on walks instead of whining to move forward lol #boone would have hated this trip god bless <3 #anyway if ur able to make the trip to Acadia I def recommend! such a cool place #stellina

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thoughtspresso · 1 year ago

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But what if Kana will save Kamiki? (I’m only half joking)

Wouldn’t it just be extremely funny if after the wrap party for The 15-Year Lie, Miki-san just encounters Kana-chan “drinking” (juice) with the intention of killing her at first.

And then Miki-san offers her liquor, and she says, “sorry I may be an adult but I’m still not legal to drink. This is actually just juice.”

And then he tries to seduce her, and she goes, “You look exactly like the boy I like but you’re not him, and I can’t.”

And then she starts to mock-drunkenly uglycry about being abused as a child actress, having to exit the scene when pedophiles started counting down her birthday to 18 and she couldn’t handle images of her body being peddled on social media like that, and how because of her sense of responsibility towards her career, her team, and her fans, she couldn’t realistically be with the only boy she’s ever truly loved. And she keeps talking about how she doesn’t feel she deserves the love of her fans because she’s not as innocent as they think she is and she just wants to do her best in her work.

And then Miki-san just starts crying, like he’s never seen that kind of honesty before, and nobody’s ever understood the way he was also abused as a child actor, or the way his body was used by adults in the industry, or the way his honest and simple love was never reciprocated by the woman he had feelings for and sired children with.

And then Kindaichi just comes into the scene drunk and barking and pulling him by the collar and calling for the guards, and Kana’s like, “Wait, what’s going on!” And Miki-san just goes like, “No, just let it happen, I think I deserve it.”

And then Aqua just rushes in and hugs Kana and is sobbing thinking she could have died. And Kana-chan just going like wtf are you people talking about WE WERE JUST TRAUMABONDING.

LIKE WHAT IF. WHAT IF THE GUY JUST NEEDED ARKHAM ASYLUM.

#delulu #mega delusional #I can wish for extra Kana screentime but here you go a half-assed fanfiction set in my imagination lmaoooo #Arima Kana best girl #Arima Kana is the one who will take me back #most anticlimactic way to resolve this series #i would rather this than all the kana deathflags lmao #don't take this one seriously guys #please #for my sake this one is just a joke #but also hella funny if it happened and then miki san just aborts mission and leaves kana alone lmaooo #not him thinking i'm looking forward to walking her down the aisle when she marries my son HAHAHAHAHAHAHA please god no #oshi no ko #oshi no ko spoilers #oshi no ko fan theories #Arima Kana #Hoshino Aqua #Hikaru Kamiki #THIS IS JUST A JOKE

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telesodalite · 1 month ago

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Sort of a ramble, sort of me just writing my thoughts out while I'm stuck with writer's block, but I keep thinking about how Fulcrum was in stasis for roughly 3 million years??

Like, that's a long time, even for Cybertronians. Not a really long time, not an entire lifespan. But still, it's a large chunk of a normal lifespan just gone. Poof.

One second you're crawling across the pockmarked terrain of an alien planet, surrounded by the sound of gunfire, and the shouting and screaming before and after each earth shuddering impact of another k-con hitting the ground. And then it's quiet. You're not there anymore. You're drifting somewhere between not alive and just asleep. Preserved somewhere in the background of a doomed body, ignored by time and space, still here, but also not.

And then there's sound. Not gunfire. Not shouting or screaming. Not the sounds that'll haunt you till your dying days, your own death sentence pounding in your head. No. Just voices, talking, standing out against a silent, dead world. Wondering. Joking. Bickering. Familiar. Just, not familiar to you. And you're awake. Pulled back from the nothingness you've been frozen in, consciousness tugged forwards with the yank of a fuel pump and the nearness of life.

These two moments are roughly 3 million years apart, but only minutes, maybe even seconds, to him. From a hectic harrowing battlefield, to an old silent graveyard in one blink.

How long did it take to really sink in? I mean, he seems to just roll with it. He doesn't seem particularly bothered. But like, what happened outside of what we see? How did he really feel?

Also, his body aged without him. While his mind preserved itself, freezing him as he was right then, his body was left to weather Clemency for all those years. No wonder it crumbled to dust when he jumped off the world sweeper. It's probably a miracle of some kind that it didn't just fall apart each time someone leaned on him.

And even after they rebuild him, give him a better, newer body. His spark, it's casing, all the irreplaceable core bits that make up their inner bodies, it aged in the time without him. Does he feel it? Does it make his body even more foreign to him?

Then he's also a technician with information that's 3 million years out of date. Lucky him that the scavengers probably weren't working with top of the line material. But still it's gotta be weird when faced with anything brand new, because a lot can change and progress in 3 million years, and now some of the knowledge he once prided himself in is obsolete.

Besides those things, his view of the galaxy, of the war, of their kind, of other kinds, is one of the few things actually pointed out when it comes to him being stuck in the past. So, how often were his old views challenged? Facts of life he held close proved to no longer true? There's 3 million years worth of new science, new beliefs, new words, new terms, new views.

And sure, some of it can be familiar, because they're an ever evolving kind, and they have patterns, core beliefs, repeating behaviors, but a lot of it's gonna be unfamiliar at the same time, because it's 3 million years worth of catch up, it's not like missing last week's trend.

In a way, it makes him a living relic of a bygone era for Decepticons. It would've been really interesting to have had that explored a little more.

#rq i wanna say i love seeing others thoughts on these if you have them. esp those that have thought about it longer than i lol #like. im still just starting to sink my teeth into the lore and put things together. so your thoughts are much appreciated #sometimes i wish that i could turn these rambles into those really well worded. slightly pretentious. but in a fun way. character metas?#but i dont think i can organize my thoughts that well. so. rambles it is lol #not to say rambling is lesser or smth tho. i love a good ramble. love to read them. i support ramblers #speaking of rambling-#idk why it fascinates me so. but theres just something rlly interesting about fulcrum being somewhat stuck in the past #i think it could've played interestingly into his and kroks dynamic had it been explored more?#like. the past and history play big parts in their lives. krok having studied it. and fulcrum having been fast forwarded thru it #it would've been interesting to see them talk more about it? since logically fulcrum wouldve gone to krok for more of the 3mill year rundow #and its like. krok is shown to be really knowledgeable on not only history. but cultures as well. theres and others.#so certain eras of their own culture would probably be a slight interest of his. esp decepticon ones.#and then theres fulcrum. who pretty much got plucked from the empire era only to land in kroks lap (metaphorically) ((...unless?))#so heres this walking talking piece of history. and a dude that has a sort of passion for history. why not explore it more?#and like. yeah. the ''history'' krok has studied is all mostly shit he lived through. but people study the times they lived through-#-because while they may have lived through it. theirs is only one perspective. a good historian takes into account multiple perspectives #idk where i'm going with this now. smth smth fulcrum relying on krok for future stuff and krok having someone to talk history stuff with #i just. augh. i wanna know what their dynamic is more. what we see in the comics is so back and forth at times #like. they seem to hit it off pretty well. but then fulcrum fucks it up ig by being oblivious and a little too ''i can fix him'' vibey #and his taste in comedy is bad. to say the least. which is apparently grounds for messy divorce #also krok is sometimes cool with selling a whole dude. at least when the dude is their befriended giant killer autobot buddy :/#that is also grounds for divorce. obviously #sorry. this is derailing the more i start thinking about how messy fulkrok could be. like. ough <3 #they're a little ''i hate my wife'' coded. but in a greater scav codependent poly way. and it's more krok being annoyed with fulcrum #its like. fulcrum: ''i can fix him bcs i need to feel validated'' vs krok: ''wtf is wrong with this guy?! who does he think he is??''#i think they'd want to pick each other apart intellectually. maybe emotionally. smth smth two officers. both disgraced. and power dynamics #its fun. they're both hypocrites. they'd need couples therapy. its also 4am. shit. ok goodnight

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kuromi-hoemie · 2 days ago

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hhhh talking about my writing was fun but 30 tags is not enough.. yes i have 3 major influences but i have minor ones too.. it is a lovechild of my favorite things.. writing is so fun and i have no self control or a concept of pacing myself i will sit there for 16 hours and get hit with every status effect but by god does it all just flow out of me. I've always been a music person yes but i also used to write a lot into early adulthood until The Incident™

but i am ready 2 jump back into it. i think comics are a great middle ground between the two mediums so i don't get As into writing bc i kind of started going crazy last time 🫡 i can take a more structured approach to it that forces me to pace myself and think about it differently. i love art.... i love making things i love knowing how to do things i love knowing how to play things i love having so many creative outlets, even if i don't do a lot of them regularly lol. it is enriching 😳 and nice to know that it's always there to come back to when u want.

#if u want the tea my imagination at the time was like i could space out and straight up just be another person POV doing every little #thing as if i were them for hours and the experience would come together without having to even think about it.#different times/places/contexts/conversations etc. forced 2 to to my mom's lil cult meetings for 2 hours twice a week #i would opt to do these imagination exercises instead to rly put myself in a character's perspective. every step‚ stumble‚#riding in a carriage together for the entirety from point A to B etc. WELL i was working on a horror anthology somewhere 18/19 #(that had a small local following 🫶🏾) and it its concept was like the Twilight zone but a lot darker. it was called interdimensional #and the main recurring character never actually shows up in the story. they r an omnipresent god of death who exists everywhere but #exists outside of our realm‚ and it picks random people to reveal itself to as a symbol. it can be apparent or just in passing that #the entry's MC sees it in‚ it will appear on something somewhere and once it's brought up it's a cue to the reader that this person #has just been sent to an alternate reality that leads towards their inevitable death. for the character nothing ever changes immediately #but the different starts to creep its way in‚ as does death's approach at its crescendo but the path's i took to get there were 😨#and after enough entries i started to see the symbol irl and hallucinate some other stuff from my stories and it really scared me #and made me stop 🫡 but i think in retrospect i just went too hard on the imagination exercises and wished i tried cultivating it instead #give myself time to settle and get in control.. but alas‚ she has not written seriously since. to this day it still flows out of me if #i just sit down to do it‚ but i don't think I'm at risk of something like that happening again anymore :3 so yeah ♡⁠ i am learning how to #draw and trying not 2 force it bc i want it to b fun as a little journey for me and i look forward to the day i can come back to actively #writing again too 🫶🏾 i miss it but i also want to b able to draw ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა #learn the hard thing first then do the stuff that comes naturally.... i also want to get back into music sometime but clearly i got a lot of #other stuff to work on 💀 i burnt myself out on it learning too many things and not having enough fun with it anymore‚#but i have a better healthier with art these days and i know it'll be great to come back to when I'm ready 😌💕#i have been considering getting an acoustic or bass guitar tho 🧐 the beauty of physical instruments.. they're just there ready 2 go..#I've been doing mostly digital the past few years‚ when i was making music. it was also rly hard to when i was w my ex ૮ – ﻌ–ა #that's a whole other rant lol. but ugh digital is like u gotta set it up u gotta make space and then u gotta be in one spot the whole time #i just wanna lay in bed and vibe or something yfm.. walk around maybe idk. do something less structured.#maybe.. hm. hmmm 🧐#I'm going to guitar center lol c ya ✌🏾 getting a bass and amp and maybe a guitar too depending on the price

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horsemage · 7 months ago

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I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂