#but i will very openly disagree with you

[dustyy-angel]

"None of the newsies could be chubby/plus sized because it was 1899 and they were all poor and starving-"

SHUT THE FUCK UP

I AM GOING TO KILL YOU

[autumnoakes]

there's dialogue i want to get in hades 2 mostly because i deeply want to talk about it but it's hard to do so when i don't have the dialogue right in front of me

[roombagreyjoy]

*said with increasing distress, eyes blodshot and an empty mug in hand* you guys remember writing right????? you guys remember posting fic and publishing things and talking to editors about potential projects right???? you guys remember being creative in your creative jobs and not just rereading old work and having a panic attack over the time wasted over curating hyperspecific character playlists that you get mad about five minutes later right????? i'm not insane right????? creative block is normal even if it lasts for months right???? i haven't written a fic in YEARS but it's ok i'm ok i have to finish TWO original pieces for next week that I haven't even started but it'll probably be fineeeee I'm totally not being a complete and raving lunatic about it it's probably gonna be okay <3 yay <3

[daz4i]

you ever see a callout post or w/e where it's like. yeah okay when i see these (hopefully not faked) screenshots i can see why you'd interpret it the way you did. BUT this is also like the worst possible way you could read it if you don't give op any benefit of a doubt because you already decided they're awful. like sometimes someone isn't evil they're just not good at phrasing themselves and if you dedicated even 30 more seconds to reread what they said without attaching your own expectations you will likely be way less angry about it

[blackpearlblast]

i'm going to be honest i think if you are going onto a jewish person's artwork that makes use of a hundreds of years old (if not much older) cultural symbol/concept and talks in depth about their feelings around it and the way they utilized it in the piece to say they are being antisemitic and not engage with what they said at all... well it just so clearly shows that zionists and zionists supporters have internalized accusations of antisemitism as a "shut-up button". i think trying to shut down a jewish person with a misappropriated term for their own oppression is actually the antisemitic thing going on here and not *checks notes* opposing a genocide.

[nostalgia-tblr]

Fandom's weaponising of "-coded" to mean "my interpretation (headcanon) is factual and correct and anyone who disagrees with it is [something]ist" is deeply annoying and also... yeah it probably is a bit problematic that we've so muddied the waters on what is and isn't intentional in media works and on whether an interpretation is automatically correct because it appears to tick whatever boxes are currently popular.

[crookedfandomquill]

This is very situational, and sadly may not be realistic for everyone, but I need y’all to understand that a very important part of political activism is fucking talking to your conservative or moderate friends and family.

My dad voted for Trump in 2016. He’s a middle class white evangelical from Arkansas. He raised me with conservative Christian values, just like his parents raised him. When he voted Trump, he was holding his nose, but he didn’t feel too bad about it, and went on to vote red down the ticket in the 2018 midterms, as well.

But I started college in 2017. Higher education and independence changed everything for me, and I went home over holidays and summers with fire in my belly and a thousand arguments ready at the drop of a hat, to my father’s dismay.

I remember crying in my room after emotional, intense arguments with him. I told him over and over that I felt betrayed by his choice to vote for a man who admitted to sexually assaulting women, who built his platform on dehumanizing immigrants and the disabled, who spread overtly-racist rhetoric, who flouted the values of kindness and self-discipline that I’d been raised on. And my dad always had some justification about the “greater good”: fighting against abortion, bolstering the economy, getting other Christian politicians into office.

But over time, as we grew further apart and I lost my will to discuss anything with him at all, he softened. He started asking me why I thought the way I did about the things we disagreed about. He would listen to my answers without interruption, and mull them over afterward instead of expressing his own opinion. And all the while, he watched the Trump presidency become cruel and absurd and devastating.

The first time he openly expressed regret to me, I had come home for a weekend after Kavanaugh was confirmed to SCOTUS. My dad realized he had helped elect a man who preyed on women… and that man had opened the door to more predators. I can’t tell you what it felt like for him to admit that he’d made a mistake, not just in voting for Trump but in defending him for so long. We kept arguing, but it was more debating than fighting. I knew he was capable of seeing my side of things, even if it took a while, and he knew I wasn’t just a sensitive college student with shallow new ideas about the world.

And then 2020 hit. Specifically, George Floyd was murdered, and the events that followed played out on the national stage. My dad was incredibly shaken by it. He asked me if I had any books from college about racial issues. I loaned him The New Jim Crow, one of the required readings for my Race and the Law class. Then I gave him Just Mercy. Then he watched the documentary 13th. Then he joined a racial harmony group he learned about through one of the few Black families at our church and insisted our whole family come. He held up signs at a protest against Confederate monuments in our conservative southern town. In three years, he went from defending Trump’s comments about “Black-on-Black crime” to publicly advocating for racial justice and opposing the death penalty.

We went together to vote in the 2020 primaries. I couldn’t help asking who he’d voted for; I didn’t even know if he’d asked for the Republican or Democratic ticket. He admitted he’d voted for Bernie. fucking. Sanders, then made me promise not to tell my grandma he’d voted liberal. When the election rolled around in November, he voted Biden. I’m sure he held his nose to do it, just like he held his nose voting in 2016. But I know he doesn’t regret it.

I am, of course, unbelievably lucky to have a parent who loved me enough, and was empathetic enough, to choose his relationship with me over his strongly-held opinions. He kept searching for truth because, as much as he’ll deny it, he’s a very smart and curious person. No degree of intelligence or curiosity makes you immune to propaganda, especially if you were raised not to question the party line. It’s easy to dismiss our conservative, conspiracy-pilled loved ones as stupid, hypocritical, and cruel. Sometimes they are. But sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes they will bend to keep their relationships from breaking. Sometimes, if they can be made to understand that their beliefs and actions are harming someone they love, they will make concessions. And sometimes they just need one person in their life to put a foot down, to be vulnerable and assertive and argumentative, to bring the impact of their politics close to home.

As the most important election of our lifetimes approaches, do not put peace over progress. If you have someone like my dad, someone who is good-willed and smart and loves you more than their own opinions, tell them how you feel. Tell them what their choices will mean for you, for your friends, for your community. Tell them what they could lose: your trust, your affection, your respect. Don’t avoid conflict if it could be productive. Because my conflict with my dad didn’t just win him over–it won over my moderate mom and one of my conservative brothers. And it put us in community with other like-minded people and led my parents to a healthier and kinder faith.

All of this to say, there is hope in conflict. There is hope in our relationships with people who think differently from us. There is hope in exposing your fear and anger and pain to people you love. And hope is a form of activism.

[kings-highway]

pre-relationship bullshit haikyuu teams probably had to put up with before various ships managed to get their shit together

daisuga probably was really annoying with like small/petty jealousy, like a girl would hit on one of them and the other would be standing behind their back making faces about it and mocking it and everyone else on the team just has to put up with it. and then theyre all overly sweet to each other to make up for the petty jealousy or some odd version of "winning them back" after the flirting event and the team is rolling their eyes *so hard*

i think asanoya is so annoying bc nobody can convince Asahi that Noya likes him. Like full stop. Eventually someone pulls him aside and is point blank like "Noya said he has a crush on you ask him out" and Asahi is just like: "Haha he was probably joking" and just leaves the scene. Like the absolute refusal to believe it from Asahi combined with Noya's classic teen boy inability to be sincere means that even after theyve both been told they somehow still havent gotten together??? how long is this going to take???

tsukkiyama probably ruins everyone's week the week before they get together bc one of them *saw* a confession letter stuck into the other's bag and absolutely went (emotionally) off the rails for the days leading up to them discovering it was for them.

I am fully of the camp that iwaoi start dating before they label it/make it official so the whole team is screaming like "PLEASE HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT" meanwhile Oikawa is saying "we just went on a few dates and kissed a few times it doesnt mean anything" and Iwa is in the background shouting "yeah I dont wanna be anyone's boyfriend that's lame" and then they wander off to go eat dinner together holding hands and the team is left in frustration because ALL they talk about is how theyre *not* in a relationship.

for bokuaka its mostly just Bokuto pestering every goddamn person he knows for like 4 months asking "do you think Akaashi likes me?" or "do you think he'd say yes if I asked him out?" and then one day making Konoha *snap* when he says "I need to tell you a secret" and the secret is that he has a crush on Akaashi as if nobody had known that

with ushiten I imagine Tendou was probably really obvious with his crush/interest but in like a very casual "not taking myself too seriously" kind of way so he's comfortable openly flirting, and Ushijima, against everyone's expectations, doesnt seem to mind the attention but is still who he is, so the whole team just has to put up with the most INSANE interactions. Like Tendou walks into the locker room and cat calls him and Ushijima just replies with a formal "thank you" and Semi is contemplating slamming his head in a locker. There's like 12 months of this.

okay okay but I think arankita is *very classic* in that Aran compensates for his crush by over-supporting Kita. so like the whole team gets super annoyed bc Aran wont risk disagreeing with him, is always offering to do extra work, is generally just sucking-up really badly and the twins suffer the most for this bc Aran used to just ignore their antics but now he's super annoyingly on them all the time to try and impress Kita

kuroken is a little different. Yaku asks Kuroo every single day if he's asked Kenma out yet. Lev asks Kenma if he has a crush on Kuroo every chance he gets. Fukunaga gives them a wink when they leave practice to walk home together. This is the only pairing in which the team is the irritant pre-relationship and then post-relationship everyone loses interest and moves on.

I'd include kagehina but once again the entire goddamn show is everyone putting up with them flirting so whats the point.

[markanddebbie-protectionprogram]

Let's address the MVP in the atom eve special: Zak

He gave Eve an opening to show her interest. And when she got into detail, he listened to every word.

He didn't disregard her intelligence or bitterly called her a "know-it-all" or called her names like "nerd" or "weirdo", instead, he was fascinated with her. He openly showed interest in wanting to know what she knows.

Of course there's a little personal agenda that he needed to learn these things but you can tell that he was genuine with her.

What really made me feel so emotional is that Zak celebrates Eve, he proudly compliments her to her parents. And he's aware/probably aware that she's not a very verbal kid around her parents so he took it upon himself to prove her genius.

He showed every model Eve built and carefully picked them up to show them off. You can even see Eve smile when he showed the magnesium model. And even if he doesn't completely know what the final model is, he still praised it.

And can we applaud this dude? He literally understood what was happening to her, what she was seeing, before her own parents did. And if this was his first time babysitting her? That's just all the more impressive of him to be able to realize.

Even as Zak said all that about Eve being able to see and memorize molecules, you can feel that he was amazed by Eve the entire time.

You can see that Eve was visibly distressed in this moment cause her parents aren't the least bit happy.

But Zak handled it well. Teens would fold or agree when the adults seem to disagree or don't want to hear them out (especially if they're babysitting, wouldn't want to lose that pay). But that's not the case with him. He didn't raise his voice to be heard. But he made it known that he thinks what Eve knows and what she can do is cool.

And most importantly, Zak didn't forget his manners. He thanked Eve and made sure she knows that she helped him a lot by showing that he's confident he'll do well in his test.

He literally did every single thing right. This boy was raised right. We don't have much info on him but he was a great character in the entirety of his screen time.

I don't think I can stress this enough but his whole scene was amazing.

Eve looks super young here and she might not remember this moment but I'm sure she's glad that at that moment, someone made her feel okay with herself.

That what she's seeing is okay.

That what she knows is okay.

And that it's okay to show it to others too.

[cazshmere]

Asteroid Kleopatra (216) in the houses: and where you can easily claim your power and use your charm to get things working out your way ;)

materialist🔖

DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!!

KLEOPATRA IN THE 1ST HOUSE ✨

⚜️ With asteroid Kleopatra in your 1st house, your charisma is immediately apparent to others. This placement embodies the ultimate girlboss energy! You possess a magnetic presence that draws people to you effortlessly. You have the ability to be strategic, especially when it comes to achieving your personal goals. Your beauty and allure are prominent, making you stand out in any crowd. This placement suggests a strong desire to assert your identity and personal power, often using your charm to influence others and get what you want. Y’all have such powerful and enigmatic personalities too!

KLEOPATRA IN THE 2ND HOUSE ✨

⚜️ I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT Y’ALL ARE SO STUNNING!! With Kleopatra in the 2nd house, this asteroid enhances your ability to attract wealth and material possessions through your charm and strategic mind. You can be particularly persuasive when it comes to financial matters, using your allure to secure resources and support. Your beauty and charisma can play a significant role in your earning potential. This placement suggests a desire to achieve power and security through financial means; in other words, y’all could likely be a sugar baby, hehe.

KLEOPATRA IN THE 3RD HOUSE ✨

⚜️ OKAY, THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST PLACEMENTS TO HAVE THIS ASTEROID IN, because these people are the definition of smooth talkers. With Kleopatra in the 3rd house, your wit and charm shine through your communication skills. Your persuasion skills are over the top. Your charisma makes you a captivating speaker, and you can easily influence those around you with your words. This placement also suggests a desire to achieve power through knowledge and intellectual pursuits—very, very smart people. Y’all can be good with coming up with witty comebacks and jokes <33

KLEOPATRA IN THE 4TH HOUSE ✨

⚜️ This placement SCREAMS "in my home, I rule" (in the best possible way, lmao), very regal energy here! You may use your charm to influence family members and create a harmonious domestic environment. Your beauty and allure can play a role in your family dynamics, making you a central figure in your household. Could probably be known as the “pretty cousin,” yk? This placement indicates a desire to achieve power within the family unit and to make significant changes at home.

KLEOPATRA IN THE 5TH HOUSE ✨

⚜️ ANOTHER GIRLBOSS PLACEMENT TO HAVE, y’all literally have the BEST PERSONALITY, and if someone disagrees, they can perish😘 (jk). THIS IS THE ACTUAL RIZZLER PLACEMENT 😭😭. Bro, y’all can pull anyone y’all want. SO NATURAL AT FLIRTING TOO, LMAO. Your charm makes you irresistible in social settings, and you can easily use your wits to entertain and captivate others. This placement suggests a desire to achieve power through creative expression and romantic conquests. Y’all, this placement honestly screams main character energy 💅🏼

KLEOPATRA IN THE 6TH HOUSE ✨

⚜️ That one person in the workplace who’s got literally everyone turning their heads to look at who you are IS LITERALLY THIS PLACEMENT. People can’t help but stare at y’all. Very persuasive, especially in the work environment. Can easily achieve a higher position by just using their words and strategic thinking. I BET MOST OF YOUR COLLEAGUES secretly or very openly have a crush on you or just flirt with you, lmao. Can easily get proposals accepted, or your idea is the one that could be utilized when it comes to your workplace

KLEOPATRA IN THE 7TH HOUSE ✨

⚜️ Y’all are like the people that have 4,626,263 people waiting in line just to take you out 😭😭, but y’all have HIGH STANDARDS (as you should 😘). So, with Kleopatra in the 7th house, your charisma shines in your one-on-one relationships. You possess an alluring presence that can attract significant partners, both romantic and business. You guys could be the more dominant one in the relationship, and y’all will have people on their knees for you 🛐🛐. Sometimes, y’all might just flirt your way to opportunities lmfao

KLEOPATRA IN THE 8TH HOUSE ✨

⚜️ SO SO SO POWERFUL, bowing down in front of you, queen🛐🛐. Your energy… oof... everyone CAN SENSE IT, and you best believe they’re confused if they should be intimidated or turned on 😭😭 (maybe both😌🫣). In the 8th house, Kleopatra enhances your ability to influence and transform through your charismatic and strategic nature. Your beauty and allure can attract powerful connections, and you may find yourself drawn to situations involving shared resources, such as investments or inheritances. Y’all could attract super-rich people, or you yourself could have a lot of MONEYYYY✨

KLEOPATRA IN THE 9TH HOUSE ✨

⚜️ Have y’all ever had an airport crush 😻?? That hot stranger you lock eyes with and find yourself so attracted to them? Like?? Yep, it’s this placement right here!!! This is such a weird thing, but y’all could easily get your desired seat when you’re traveling in a plane or train or whatever transport it is😭. Somehow, things are always working out for you!! Your charisma makes you a captivating teacher or speaker, and you can easily influence others with your ideas and beliefs. If y’all are in some foreign country, you best believe a shit ton of people probably have a crush on you or just find you super attractive 🫣

KLEOPATRA IN THE 10TH HOUSE ✨

⚜️ Y’ALL GIVE EXTREMELY REGAL ENERGY, FR. YOU ARE LITERALLY THE HOT MAFIA CEO IN EVERY WATTPAD FANFIC 😭💅🏼(excluding all the toxicity, ofc💀). In the 10th house, Kleopatra brings a charismatic and strategic presence to your career and public life. You possess the ability to use your charm and cunning to climb the professional ladder and achieve recognition in your chosen field. Your beauty and allure can significantly impact your public image, making you a prominent figure in your industry. There’s this song called “fucked my way to the top” by Lana Del Rey, and umm, quite a possibility, tbh🫣😭. Regardless, y’all would have been ON TOP either way

KLEOPATRA IN THE 11TH HOUSE ✨

⚜️ This is the friend who always takes charge when it comes to hosting events or get-togethers, and all your friends genuinely admire you and LOVE to follow your lead. Y’all are the types to playfully flirt with your friends too🤭. You have the ability to influence and lead groups, using your charm to rally support for causes and projects. Your beauty and allure can make you a popular figure within your social circles. You literally could be a social media influencer because, girl, you best believe you are definitely INFLUENCING A LOT OF PEOPLE 😌. This placement suggests a desire to achieve power through social connections and collective efforts, often using your wits to create change within your community

KLEOPATRA IN THE 12TH HOUSE✨

⚜️ MY ETHEREAL BABIES🥹, okay, so tbh, with this placement, people tend to underestimate you and think you aren’t good at asserting yourself, but that’s exactly what YOU WANT them to think. Playing dumb but knowing literally everything and they could destroy you if they wanted to (don’t test them, fr). They may look ditzy or something, but TRUST ME, they are FAR from it. Super fucking intuitive too. Their intuition could help them pick the best option for them!! (Listen to your intuition, peeps). Also, everyone is A TAD BIT subconsciously attracted to you😭, like they can’t even help it. Your allure and strategic mind can help you navigate the hidden aspects of life, such as dreams, intuition, and the collective unconscious. This placement suggests a desire to achieve power through spiritual growth and understanding, often using your charm to uncover hidden truths. Y’all honestly give siren vibes (in the best possible way)😌.

divider, banner, gif credits : @/hanitos

© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]

[a-very-tired-jew]

One of the worst parts of planning a wedding after October is asking "which of our potential guests is normal about Jews?" Having to literally sleuth through social medias is disheartening.

We've already written off about 20 people, one of which used to be a meta and was potential bf for my partner. To see someone you cared for and could have had a relationship with just openly call for the death of your people is gut wrenching. A lot of people don't actually know I'm Jewish because I'm secular and so is my partner. In every instance of removing someone from our lives we get a message asking why. We lay out all of the antisemitism that they expressed over the course of these months and in every. single. instance. we've gotten some version of "well I respect your opinion, but I disagree". These are Left queer progressive types who have openly stated over and over again that if you are not part of that minority group you do not get to tell them what is and isn't offensive. So yeah, it's not just online discourse Lefties or campus protesters. It's people you may know on a personal level and have many, many memories with. They've sacrificed everything they stood for because of antisemitism and hatred. I'm so very tired.

[shellofhappiness]

The general dialogue between Eric and that AOL girl regarding his philosophy on love has always stood out to me. It's one of the very few moments of vulnerability we've been given / able to find on his character over the past twenty years.

Eric always had his guard up. We all mostly know this from his own writings, no one acts like how he portrayed himself naturally. But, also including the accounts given about him from other people in his life, important or not, before and after passing. Mostly commonly described as aggressive and irritable, yet closed-off and restrained.

Alongside that online exchange, the only other times I can think of were when he called out of work to be there for his sick dog, or the innocent adoration he held toward his older brother, alongside sincere respect for his mother, of course, Reb's "I wish I were a fucking sociopath" Tape, and (arguably) his undisclosed email to his childhood best friend.

He talked about love like he was an outsider. A still figure watching it & whatever shape it may take maneuver around him, but not having the ability to engage. Let alone even acknowledge the fact it could be something of his own as well if he reached his hand out to touch it, but that wasn't even a possibility for him at that moment. Feeling comfortable enough to bring it up, but never to address it directly. Mentioning what he believed, but never outright saying it, afraid to cross a boundary. Though, he was still very careful with his wording despite not feeling confident enough to state his opinion in full. Being just general enough so he didn't risk the girl disagreeing with his words because he didn't give her an opening to do so, but still baring just a bit of his self to her through his ego because it was just the two of them.

Everyone talks about the concept of "love" relating to the case in reference to DK, because it was something that openly consumed him in private, but in a way, I feel the same just might have applied to Eric as well. But, like many other things relating to him, he hid it all away inside of himself. To live is to be vulnerable, and the times Eric was, never ended in his favor. Hence why he conditioned himself to be so isolated from everyone else, emotionally independent.

When Eric did openly talk about his doctrine on love, it was that degenerate & exploitative journal passage in which he wrote in depth about the idea of forcing himself onto certain women in his life alongside gaudy band lyrics. Considering how hesitant he was to directly speak to another girl about love, even under the context they were both being open with each other, the passage was likely written out of some kind of complex frustration. To compensate for how he felt like such a stranger in the face of it, but remarkably knowledgeable when speaking objectively. He wasn't being honest with himself, but still desperately needed some kind of liberation as an attempt to stop whatever feeling of desire he harbored from further stirring inside him.

The passion that stems from hatred is something I'm sure we all know Eric was well acquainted with. I think the hate inside of him masked the love, being overshadowed and making it appear small. It was definitely there, but seldom did it get a voice to speak in comparison to the amount of steam he let out on a general basis.

Eric cared a lot. When you look past the ego he presented to the whole world, he wasn't an individual with ASPD by any stretch of the means. He wanted not to be independent, but his life made him feel that was the only option he could truly rely on with the social instability he faced growing up. He wanted to be seen. I'm sure many people have voiced this before, but it's truly heart-wrenching to think he was doing this big finale act with his best friend, maybe because he had his best friend there to do it with him, only to find out post-mortem that DK didn't hold him to the same high regard. Maybe close, but not at all on the exact same level.

Putting the fact aside both of them expressed fantasies of doing NBK with their own respective "dream girl," DK wanted other options for someone to go through with the date, other actual people in his life, but from Eric's point-of-view, it had to be Dylan. Dylan was one of the very few people in his life, the only one still present with him, that aided his desire not to be alone. To be seen as an individual. To be vulnerable. Under the impression Dylan felt the same way he did, or at least something similar ... and while I won't deny it was there, it just wasn't as significant to the other party.

"What one person calls true love (EH) can be just another cheap thrill to another (DK)."

I'd like to specify that my goal with this post isn't to send the message that they were "gay," nor point out any form of "romantic chemistry," but rather to emphasize how languished love was overall in Eric's life. Also, I think there's an absurdist humor that comes from the irony of him saying this with what we know would follow half at his hands (you know who the other half is).

They both loved each other as friends, without a doubt, but it's so tragic to think that Eric's closest bond, a connection of love so intimate yet unrelated to direct societal romance, which created a strength so abundant that it started a ripple effect worldwide that still persists to this very day, wasn't quite requited the way he thought it was. Just like every other published bond of his, in his sad little existence.

[qiu-yan]

Do you have any feelings opinions or analysis of the golden core reveal or just how the scene in the ancestral hall went down?? Because I have a lot of feelings about it but I can't quite put them together into words and I love your analysis of the story and jiang cheng

thank you for the ask!!!! and thank you for your kind comments!!

god i have so many opinions about the golden core reveal, and the ancestral hall scene that precedes it. i don't quite have all my thoughts in proper essay order right now, but i will probably write another long-ass post about my Hot Takes some day soon.

unorganized thoughts as of right now:

for the ancestral hall scene, i am almost purely on jiang cheng's side. jiang cheng was rude as hell and he did verbally escalate instead of peacefully allowing wangxian to leave, yes. however, they are in his house. they are in front of his ancestors. they are in his ancestral hall, which they entered without permission. to me, it seems like wei wuxian wants to have his cake and eat it too: he wants to avoid jiang cheng and all the anger the jiang cheng of the present has at his (very real and rather devastating) mistakes, but he also wants to freely come and go in jiang cheng's own goddamn house, like he used to be able to when he still had a positive relationship with jiang cheng. if wei wuxian is going to act like jiang cheng and yunmeng jiang are nothing to him anymore, then he should properly commit to being a full outsider.

it's also interesting how wei wuxian focuses his retorts in his argument with jiang cheng on "how dare you be cruel to lan zhan!!! i'm protecting lan zhan!!!!" when in my view the vast majority of jiang cheng's verbal abuse was directed towards wei wuxian himself. jiang cheng calls lan wangji "riffraff" and "an outsider," but that...is incredibly mild language to me. jiang cheng is ruder to wen ning (by calling him a "wen dog") for heaven's sake. instead, jiang cheng is much nastier towards wei wuxian himself: wei wuxian is shameless, wei wuxian's idiotic hero complex got all his family members killed, wei wuxian is why jin ling is an orphan, wei wuxian is a heartless ingrate, etc etc.

wei wuxian, defend YOURSELF! jiang cheng is barely being nasty at all to lan wangji, but he IS being nasty to YOU! compared to all the horrid shit he yells at you, he barely even brings up lan wangji at all! at the very least, tell jiang cheng not to call wen ning a "wen dog"!

i haven't fully thought this out yet so i'm not sure how fully i stand by it, but the fact that wei wuxian gets that heated "defending lan wangji" when jiang cheng barely even insulted lan wangji that much, is very interesting. it implies to me that, while wei wuxian thinks he does not have the right to properly rebut jiang cheng's criticisms of himself, that he truly is guilty and therefore should just take jiang cheng's verbal abuse of him lying down - deep down, he is still upset about jiang cheng blaming him specifically. when jiang cheng calls wei wuxian an ingrate who got all of jiang cheng's family members killed, wei wuxian is in fact upset and does in fact want to protest. however, he is unable to openly do so because he also feels incredibly guilty himself about the role he played in jin zixuan and jiang yanli's deaths, and therefore thinks he does not have the right to defend himself against jiang cheng's rage on the same issue.

but wei wuxian is still upset and still wishes to rebut jiang cheng's fury. therefore, "defending lan wangji" becomes an excuse for wei wuxian, a pretext to find issue with jiang cheng's arguments and therefore fight back. it's somewhat similar to when someone writes an incredibly effective counterargument to your post, so you hyperfocus on mocking them for a spelling error instead: you can't think of a way to properly rebut their rebuttal, so you jump on the first thing that gives you an excuse to disagree with them and poke holes in their argument. wei wuxian believes (accurately or not) that he does not have the right to defend himself against jiang cheng; however, he is fully justified in defending lan wangji from jiang cheng, which gives him an excuse to argue back when jiang cheng insults wei wuxian.

this is evidenced by the fact that, in the ancestral hall scene, wei wuxian does not defend wen ning from jiang cheng at all. jiang cheng also gives wei wuxian shit for "let[ting] the Wen dog wander around in front of our gates," but wei wuxian just fully lets that comment slide in favor of defending only lan wangji. while this could be because lan wangji is present to hear jiang cheng say this while wen ning is not, for me, another reason comes to mind as well: in wei wuxian's mind, wen ning is also involved, however tangentially, in the deaths of jin zixuan and jiang yanli. wei wuxian's guilt extends to encompass wei ning as well. therefore, wei wuxian feels that he also does not have the right to defend wen ning from jiang cheng. it is only lan wangji out of the three people jiang cheng insults that wei wuxian has the right to defend, because lan wangji alone was not involved in the jiang family tragedy of wei wuxian's first life.

also, it was wei wuxian who first escalated a verbal confrontation into a physical one.

regarding the golden core transfer scene.....first, i find it absolutely hilarious that wen ning of all people spilled the beans to jiang cheng, and got so mad about it to boot. king, you helped operate on him. king, you helped lie to him about it. king, there is no shortage of things you have the full right to be angry with sect leader jiang about, but him believing the lies you actively chose to tell him and not figuring out that you were lying is not one of them. as someone else put it, one person between wen ning and jiang cheng had a free and active hand in removing wei wuxian's core and putting it into jiang cheng, and that person was not jiang cheng. wen ning helping violate jiang cheng's bodily autonomy and then weaponizing said nonconsensual surgery later in an argument against the same jiang cheng is kind of crazy to me, honestly.

imo (and i'm stealing from an analysis i read somewhere), wen ning was this harsh about the golden core reveal despite being one of the surgeons who nonconsensually operated on jiang cheng and then lied to him about it for similar reasons as i described for wei wuxian above. wen ning is also deeply angry with jiang cheng for a lot of things: jiang cheng repeatedly calls him a "thing" and kicks him around like he isn't a human being; jiang cheng also led the first siege of the burial mounds, which killed all save one of wen ning's family members. that is a completely reasonable thing to be mad about. but wen ning, having seen firsthand the wrongdoings of qishan wen, probably has a guilt complex of sorts about being a wen; more importantly, he feels incredibly guilty about his "role" in killing jin ling's father. therefore, wen ning probably does not feel he has the right to defend himself from jiang cheng.

but deep down wen ning is still angry. he is still incredibly angry with jiang cheng for the things jiang cheng did to wen ning. and, while wen ning may not feel like he has the right to defend himself from jiang cheng, defending wei wuxian from jiang cheng is a different matter. in wen ning's eyes, wei wuxian did no major wrong and always had good intentions. therefore, jiang cheng has no right to be angry with wei wuxian. therefore, if wen ning absolutely wrecks jiang cheng's shit defending wei wuxian (and not wen ning himself), then wen ning would be entirely justified.

second - and my thoughts on this haven't fully baked yet - there's this undercurrent in both the golden core transfer scene and the guanyin temple scene that, because wei wuxian gave jiang cheng his core, jiang cheng does not have the right to be angry with wei wuxian for the pain wei wuxian's actions caused jiang cheng. that jiang cheng is now permanently indebted to wei wuxian, which therefore voids all of jiang cheng's right to say that wei wuxian hurt him.

i don't like this undercurrent. i don't like this idea at all. if someone - even accidentally - caused you a lot of pain, the fact that they also once sacrificed themself for you does not negate the pain they caused you. you should be grateful for what they did for you, but that doesn't mean you no longer have a right to your pain.

to flip the script, jiang cheng in reality also sacrificed himself for wei wuxian: he only lost his golden core to begin with because he drew that wen patrol away from wei wuxian. it is factually correct to say that, were it not for jiang cheng, wei wuxian would very likely be dead. but if anyone were to say: "jiang cheng once sacrificed himself for wei wuxian, meaning that wei wuxian owes his life to jiang cheng; therefore, wei wuxian does not have the right to be angry with jiang cheng for the first siege of the burial mounds," that would be fucking stupid. because that's not how it works.

i hold this to be true even though there is a cause-and-effect relationship between each person's sacrifice and their later actions. wei wuxian not having a golden core explains a lot of his later lying and other behavior, and jiang cheng having been tortured because he saved wei wuxian in turn explains a lot of his later resentment and other behavior as well. but neither of their fates were set in stone. both of them still had free will and still could have made different decisions afterwards.

the above is all a lot of blaming, refutation of blaming, and morality wank, so here are some assorted non-morality opinions:

the gift of the magi esque dual-sacrifice wei wuxian and jiang cheng pulled for each other is my favorite part of the story. like holy shit.

wen ning did phrase the golden core reveal to be as hurtful as possible. i find the idea of a sacrifice performed out of love and care for the recipient later being weaponized against that same recipient to be a very interesting idea.

wei wuxian absolutely did not give up his golden core out of only a sense of duty. there was quite a lot of duty, obligation, and guilt (spurred on by jiang fengmian and yu ziyuan's last words to him) mixed into his reasons, but i think wei wuxian gave his golden core to jiang cheng because he loved jiang cheng and didn't want to watch jiang cheng suffer.

jiang cheng, meanwhile, led the wen patrol away and thus got captured in place of wei wuxian purely because he loved wei wuxian. in doing so, he specifically failed his duty to his dead parents, his ancestors, and his sect.

wei wuxian's internal narration about how he later conceptualized the golden core transfer as "his duty to the jiang" is interesting because it is written to be a post-hoc justification. as in, he came up with those reasons and that line of thinking after he already gave up his golden core, and was trying to make the outcome acceptable to himself.

jiang cheng postcanon is in a position to start healing. this take is also stolen from an analysis i read somewhere else, but the one question that's been cooking jiang cheng for the past 13 years is Why. why did wei wuxian do all that? did wei wuxian ever truly care about him, about his family, or was wei wuxian lying from the start? wei wuxian consistently accomplishes the impossible, so how could wei wuxian allow this to happen? but now that jiang cheng knows wei wuxian gave his golden core to him, suddenly all these questions have answers. the cause and effect relationship between A and B makes sense now. and now that jiang cheng has answers, he can let the questions stop cooking his brain and begin to heal and move on.

thank you again for the ask and the kind comments!

[zoobus]

The popular American Psycho (2000) take I heavily disagree with is that Patrick was convincing.

I heard this consistently; Patrick successfully hid his monstrous nature. He is the wolf in wool at the office. He gets away with what he does because he has successfully infiltrated the palace of normiehood. Patrick Bateman is Good at Being Normal.

This is demonstrably and meaningfully untrue? He's not persuasive. He doesn't convince anyone that he's one of them. He regularly fails his charisma checks. His peers openly dislike and disregard him. They don't notice that he (may or may not be) a sicko who kills sex workers, poor minorities, the homeless, and eventually one of their own both because they don't care/respect him enough to bother and because they're all too self-absorbed to notice the dead woman he's stuffing into the trunk.

This is not a small thing! He isn't keenly using pre conceived biases and superficiality to dodge consequences - they simply don't give a shit about him. Like, that seemed a core tenant of the movie, that his wealthy, brand-obsessed colleagues who talk so much while saying nothing of weight aren't actually listening to his flimsy excuses or explicit murder confessions, as if none of his actions mattered. I seriously hate to be that guy but "it's not that his mask was believable, it's that very few bothered looking at the mask" feels like an important point to not miss.

I can somewhat grasp the pov that Patrick was just too good at presenting as a dorky loser since that's what his peers believe him to be - maybe we're working off different definitions of what a "convincing person" is - But Patrick was absolutely not trying to convince them of this! He desperately tries (and fails!) to kill this image - which doesn't sound like convincing guy activities to me!

The word "convincing" denotes a level of agency I didn't see. It's as if people saw his character as frightening because oh what if the normal guy you talk to everyday at work was secretly a serial killer, despite the vast majority of people he interacts with either think he's an annoying loser or quickly recognize there's something wrong with him but lack the social status to do anything about it. Who did he convince?

[despazito]

could u elaborate on "parrots make bad pets"? not disagreeing (far from it) just interested to see your take! looking to learn more about this

(i've gotten this ask before so please don't mind i'm just gonna paste a writeup i did a while ago)

There’s a blog run by an animal behaviourist who specializes in parrots that i really enjoy reading, she has a very good writeup on the state of companion parrots as an industry: The Inconvenient Truth About Cockatoos

so basically the average person usually cannot meet the needs of a parrot, especially medium and ESPECIALLY large species. they are long lived, extremely social and intelligent animals who are very demanding if you are their only companion. in my mind the most 'ethical' pet parrot setup is having some pairs of budgies in a dedicated bird room filled with foraging enrichment and doing some basic command training as a bird-human bonding activity instead of cuddles.

most pet parrots are hand reared or even hatched in incubators by breeders and are never given a chance to be raised by their parents, and virtually none stay with their parents until a natural weaning age before getting sold. which is wild considering it is fucking ILLEGAL to do that to puppies or kittens.

A parrot isn't really born wired for human companionship in the same way that a dog or cat is. they imprint on their parents which sets the blueprint of their kin, and they generally want to only form extremely close bonds with others of their kin. To get a very people-oriented parrot, it has to think it’s people.

This is different from the socializing practiced in raising cats and dogs or acclimating ferals to people. socializing means exposure to things so that the animal doesn't grow up to see the target as a threat, and ultimately that the target is something that can be very rewarding to spend time around. A dog raised with its mother and socialized to people still understands that it's a dog, it can get along with other dogs, but can also form strong bonds to people. They actually read both dog and human body language and legitimately have an awareness that we are different species.

The companion parrot is raised to think it’s people, and as a result many lose the ability to form bonds with their own kind. in fact the reason many breeders remove eggs or chicks from the nest is arguing that the parent birds don’t really know how to raise their chicks- because they themselves were hand reared and never learned how to parent from their parents! it seems that, like us, parenting isn't perfectly hardwired in parrots and they need to learn the skill from their families, oftentimes even staying to help their parents raise younger siblings!

That's why it's not at all uncommon for pair bonded breeding birds to be sold as a completely separate product from companion birds in many aviary operations. there's so many ads for people selling breeding parrots that fucking hate humans or are semi tame specifically listed for sale as breeders not as pets:

then their babies are bred for the pet market so they are taken either before or right after hatching to get hand reared and imprinted onto humans, because a parrot-bonded parrot just won't be as interested in forming those close human companionships you see in viral videos. this isn't the case for all aviaries, i want to acknowledge there are smaller scale breeders who have tamer breeding birds, but big producers can have borderline feral pairs and the point i'm trying to make is when you socialize a parrot to either the human world or parrot world, it's often at the expense of the other.

most trouble starts once the parrot begins reaching the age of sexual maturity. they stop being openly cuddly to most people, and will try to pair bond with their primary caretaker. It's not uncommon for this to lead to aggression towards other family members because parrots don't share partners, they can even do this to babies they are jealous of!

But a human can't become a suitable mate substitute for a parrot, and some of their mating behaviours such as regurgitating on you can seem straight up gross so the human then shuns the parrot and shuts down their advances. this can make your bird become very sexually frustrated that can lead to more unwanted behaviours and even health emergencies such as prolapse. we lead them on by stroking their chest and backs (only something bonded pairs do, you are essentially jerking off your parrot when you do this..) then reject them with no other outlet for their natural urges, and spaying/neutering isn't an option either! so they're stuck in a psychological purgatory of being unable to fulfill their instincts. and if they're in an understimulating environment and left alone for most of the day in addition to all that, frankly i think that's just an awful life to give to an animal we allegedly love!

we essentially alienate them, and when they don’t have people around to meet their extremely high social needs because you work a 9-5, even if there are other birds around, the lonely or frustrated human-bonded parrot can become depressed and self mutilate.

parrots that were left with their parents, are raised as parrots, and weaned at their own natural pace overwhelmingly do not exhibit these destructive behaviours.

 a productive relationship with a pet parrot is one that fosters independence, not dependence, on the human companion. the most responsible parrot owners should strive to act more as a zookeeper to their parrot instead of cuddling it and creating a ‘velcro’ bird glued to the hip, and socialize with them via training sessions instead of letting their birds indulge in pair bonding behaviours like petting and preening which leads to sexual frustration and aggression or self mutilation.

Ultimately I believe any parrot hand reared and imprinted onto humans is some degree of psychologically damaged and suffers from the parrot equivalent of a developmental trauma, they have been robbed of a normal parrot life and it cannot be undone.

SO many parrot rescues are completely flooded with unwanted pets, many with tough behavioural challenges (for example it's not uncommon for parrots to be reactive to an entire gender, so that cuts the adopter pool immediately in half). and these patterns can be difficult to break especially without the aid of a behaviourist. and the thing still has another 40 years of life left in it but nobody wants to adopt because it's another "crazy bitey bird that hates everyone", has reached sexual maturity so it's no longer as friendly, and it's much easier to start from scratch so folks choose to just buy another baby and keep the cycle going.

And none of that even touches on the rampant poaching that keeps supplying the trade in many parts of the world. and that's why everyone should have domestic chickens or pigeons.

[anyalovesu]

𝓤nder a pile of papers

IT intern!Sunghoon x HR intern!reader

—in which sunghoon is a hopeless romantic and you are a dense office siren in the guise of an intern.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

genre : fluff

pairings : sunghoon x fem!reader

wc : 5.4k+ words

cw :

☾₊‧⁺��⋆ non-idol!au

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ sunghoon is cringey and rizzless asf

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ ( ft. en- , yunjin from lsf , and wonyoung from ive )

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ sunghoon and wonyoung are related + wonyoung is regarded as a future fun sapphic aunt

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ not proofread ( yet )

song : "slut" (from the vault) - taylor swift ( 1989 (taylor's version) , 2023 )

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Sunghoon was drawn to you from the very first time you walked out of the office elevator to submit your internship documents. You seemed aloof until the associate spoke to you and from then on, Sunghoon swore he was hooked. He slowly finds himself glancing at the elevator whenever it opens, hoping he gets a glimpse of you before you enter your little cubicle and dabble in your own tasks. 

Jake thinks he's just infatuated. Why wouldn't he? It was apparent to Jake that you had your charm and it was especially effective on his best friend. But his best friend disagrees. Sunghoon believes he’s finally met the love of his life. For sure, the poor IT intern is a mad man and a loser. His knees would buckle whenever you passed by them to grab lunch in the cafeteria with your co-intern, Yunjin, but you don't seem to acknowledge Sunghoon's existence. Yet, he didn't seem to mind. He solely believes that the stars have finally crossed for him and it brought you to him.

Lucky for him, Yunjin was not as dense as you and immediately noticed the young man's overflowing feelings for you. She found it laughable at first how downbad he is, but then maybe that's exactly what you needed—a little excitement, a little thrill in your routinary life. If she can't stop you from your clockwork, maybe a little office romance would.

And so, through Jake, just so she wouldn't excite Sunghoon too much to the point of combustion, Yunjin managed to slip a sticky note with your number and Instagram username. Oh boy, Jake was sure he saw a tear slip down Sunghoon's eye when he handed him the note. God, Jake had to hold his laugh back with his friend’s extreme reaction. He's expressive, he tries to convince himself… nothing's wrong with that.

“Good morning, this is Y/N from HR. Mrs. Lim is asking for a keyboard to be replaced here in the training room,” your voice was static and monotonous over the telephone, yet Sunghoon on the other line was already imploding. It wouldn't be reaching to say he might've peed his pants. 

“Coming right up, love,” Sunghoon blurts out before he could second guess his impulsive thought. 

“Boy, what?” Jake was quick to hit the back of his head out of second hand embarrassment. 

“But my name is Y/N…” you replied innocently, confused as to why he thought your name was love. You said your name clearly, didn't you?

“Yeah, right… Sorry… It kinda slipped, I had a friend named Love and I was thinking of her just before you called.”

“Well I hope your girlfriend is thinking of you too, Sunghoon. Mrs. Lim needs the keyboard to be replaced ASAP. It's kind of urgent,” you replied to him politely, completely not noticing the fact that he just openly flirted with you and failed so miserably.

“You are an embarrassment to this family!” Jake whisper-yelled at him, running hand on his face as he gets up to go to the training room. Sunghoon does not seem fazed by his rizzless attempt to flirt with his office crush. Jake, on the other hand, wants the ground to open and swallow Sunghoon whole so he doesn't have to deal with his cringeworthy attempts to woo you.

“Do you honestly not find him attractive?” Yunjin asked you as she sat next to you in your little secluded cubicle in the corner of the office. “He's tall, and honestly conventionally handsome—c'mon, he's an athlete! He's literally preparing for the national figure skating competition on the weekends as we speak!”

“I suppose he is,” you hummed, seemingly uninterested, while your eyes tunnel vision to him in the training room which you and Yunjin had a clear view of from your little corner. He was fighting with Jake over something about picking the wrong wire. “I guess he's cute. But he has a girlfriend. So, he's not that interesting at all.”

“The fuck you mean he has a girlfriend?” Yunjin asked, appalled at the sudden information, while still keeping her voice in a whisper volume, afraid to attract attention and get a violation for swearing. “That son of a bitch has been flirting with you and I'm finding out that he has a girlfriend? How did you find out?”

“On the phone when I called them over. He thought my name was Love and he said he was thinking of a friend with the name Love. So that friend must be his girlfriend right? If he's thinking of her!”

Yunjin's face falls before letting out a snort that she tried very hard to hide but it turned out to be louder than she thought it would be. 

“Miss Yunjin, inside voice please,” your other supervisor, Ms. Hwang calls. Yunjin slaps a hand over her mouth to hold back her laughter.

“Bitch, Sunghoon has been giving you heart eyes since you walked into this office! How dense must you be to not see that he was openly flirting with you?” Yunjin argued in a whisper tone. “I am so done with you!”

“He was thinking of Love!”

“You are Love! He probably made up a stupid excuse because you didn't buy his advance!” Yunjin continued laughing. “Oh my God! Baby girl! Are you okay? Have you ever flirted in highschool?”

“I was homeschooled…” you replied shyly at your lack of experience with socialization. “Family moved a lot when I was a kid.”

“Explains why you're so weird,” Yunjin nodded understandingly. “Doesn't matter now! Do you like Sunghoon?”

“I never spoke to him other than a while ago when I had to ring him up to fix Mrs. Lim's issue,” you replied shortly. 

“Ugh! Do you find him attractive?”

“I told you! He can be cute,” you replied, nonchalantly as you slowly transition your focus back to your unfinished task. 

“Then text him! I have his number!” Yunjin clapped excitedly, earning another stern glare from Ms. Hwang but Yunjin does not pay her any mind and instead pulls her phone from the back pocket. “Text him! Here!”

You mindlessly copied her actions, unlocking your phone and typing the number from Sunghoon's contact displayed on Yunjin's phone. But as you typed, the same number appears in your suggested contacts. 

“Wait? Do you have his number?” Yunjin asked, confused as she took your phone from your hand. “Why is his number named ‘Weird delivery man’? Is he stalking you? Already?”

“No! The weird delivery man keeps sending me delivery notices! I didn't even order anything and nothing ever arrives! I only saved its number to report it to my service provider this weekend!” You explained, taking your phone from Yunjin to show her the messages between you and the weird delivery man.

“What a fucking loser,” Yunjin mumbles to herself as she holds back a laugh. “It is Sunghoon. It's obviously Sunghoon! You don't have to report it. I gave your number to Jake yesterday, that's why he has it!”

“So you're just giving out my phone number out there, Jennifer?”

“I only ever gave your number to Jake and Sunghoon!” Yunjin replied, holding her right hand up to prove her innocence. 

“What are we talking about? Why am I being spoken about?” Sunghoon asked, popping right beside your cubicle.

“Why did you pretend to be  stupid delivery man, you idiot?” Yunjin asked him, moving to slightly slap his arm. “You almost got reported to the service provider!”

“Wait, you thought I was an actual delivery guy?” Sunghoon asked, flabbergasted that she bought on to the joke when he only thought she was just playing along.

“You introduced yourself like a delivery man, Sunghoon, what were you expecting from me?” you roll your eyes at me. “You're disturbing my work. Go back to your area now!”

You wanted them out as soon as possible—you were embarrassed, of course! Your heart was beating so fast and it wasn't something you were used to. Is it really embarrassment that got your heart racing? Or was it your first time ever finding someone attractive and then realizing they are into you?

You hated to admit it but you knew deep inside it was the latter. Yunjin would agree.

“You like Sunghoon,” Yunjin happily says before moving to look at her pile of papers to scan on her own.

Just as when you thought your internship term was boring.

 .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

The following weeks were filled with you, Yunjin, Sunghoon and Jake waiting for each other on the way to the office,  before lunch or before going home. It turned out that Sunghoon and Jake live in the same apartment complex as you and Yunjin, just a few floors higher up. So, it was only sensible to just wait on each other and just take one cab instead of going on two different cabs on the way to the office.

You could’ve sworn you were buying your own morning coffee for the entire week. Until you realized you had saved up some money already from Sunghoon buying your coffee before you could do it for yourself. You couldn’t hide the violent blush that rushed to your face when you realized that while you were sitting in your cubicle with Yunjin. You couldn’t calm your heart from racing once again the moment you put in a thought about it. 

Sunghoon took the time to note your usual order when you were ordering it for yourself one time and made sure he got the same one every day before you and Yunjin met them in the apartment lobby. He always made sure you were seated behind the driver because not only was it the safest seat to be in, but also he noticed you got motion sickness whenever you sat in the middle seat. He would also drop by whenever he has the chance to the cafeteria before lunch to ask for what would be served for lunch and inform you and Yunjin beforehand, just in case you were allergic or did not feel like eating what was going to be served. 

So, yes. You are violently and absurdly blushing over the fact that for once in your life, you are experiencing what it is like to be adored by someone who isn’t a friend or family. While most of the times, you didn’t pay it much mind, due to the fact that you always seemed to be busy getting buried under mounds of papers that needs to be scanned, sorted and filed into very specific color coded folders—now it made so much sense why Sunghoon stuttered whenever you two spoke, because you were gradually finding yourself doing the same way.

“Coffee,” you smiled at Sunghoon, handing him his usual iced americano. The boy seemed surprised that you were earlier than him and Jake without Yunjin to be found anywhere. 

“You didn’t have to!” he blushed, a smile growing from ear to ear as soon as he saw the little ‘Good luck with your day’ note you asked the barista to write on his cup. “I was supposed to get your coffee every morning. Why are you here so early?”

“I just thought I should get the coffee this time. Here’s Jake’s!” You smile at him, handing Jake another cup from the carton tray you obviously struggled to hold on your own, leading Sunghoon to immediately take it from you. “Thank you. Yunjin could not be bothered to wake up earlier than she usually does, so I just went and grabbed our coffee on our own.”

Sunghoon couldn’t help but look at you adoringly. You were so… nice and innocent in a way. Over the course of the past few days, you seemed like the person to just mind your own business, succumbing into your own little world. With a little more confirmation from Yunjin, he was able to understand that this has always been the case for you. You weren’t  the best at socializing and it really does take some time for you to adjust to some people. And something about you being so lively and smiley with him and Jake now (compared to your stoic expression when he first saw you) meant too much to him because it was as if you were finally letting them in your little bubble. 

“Thank you, Y/N!” Jake happily takes the coffee from the tray. “Yunjin just texted me. She’s on her way down. I’ll go book the taxi right now.”

“I’ll wire you the amount–”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s on me–”

“What? Sunghoon, no!” You argued but your little arguing figure only seemed to bring him even more joy that you were interacting with him more and more. 

“You bought us coffee, the taxi is on me this time,” he explained carefully.

Oh boy. You just looked at him, stunned at his soft tone. 

“Smitten, I’m telling you. Sunghoon is smitten, and you can’t do anything about it, Y/N. Just let him pay for your taxi. Plus it’s gonna be like you paid for it anyway because you bought us coffee.”

You already felt like you weren’t going to win an argument with the both of them especially without Yunjin’s presence so you decided to just let it go. 

 .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Lunch break came around sooner than you thought as you were sorting through the signed official documents that needed to be filed away in the storage room after lunch. Yunjin was going around trying to get some documents signed by the superiors so it was mostly her doing all the tedious work without anyone to remind her about the time. You were only brought back to your senses when Yunjin came back calling you to go get lunch as Jake and Sunghoon were already waiting by the exit door of the floor. 

You tried to hide your excitement to see Sunghoon and Jake and complain about the piles of papers you had to sort through just a while ago. Yunjin often rants about it more, but since you did most of the work, you couldn’t help but get excited over wanting to dish about it. 

Yunjin could not help but notice the way your face and mood dropped when you found Wonyoung from Marketing talking to Sunghoon, even laughing about something you couldn’t quite point out. You heard they were working together on the upcoming event, which honestly, for the first time in your life you wanted to be involved in but unfortunately it wasn’t a job for the Human Resource department, so there wasn’t that much to do. 

Does Sunghoon find her more interesting now that they’re spending more time together outside of lunches? 

You couldn’t explain why you were feeling that way. You and Sunghoon haven’t even talked about where you stood and you were already reacting like this. He would definitely lose interest in you even more as soon as he realizes how hard it is to put up with you.

“Jang Wonyoung!” Yunjin happily calls as the both of you approach them. “I haven't seen you around in a while!”

“The marketing team has been really busy with the event, so I haven't had much time to hang around,” she explained. Jang Wonyoung was ethereal to look at. You were sure that even if you spent the entire day staring at her face, you would still struggle to find a flaw. Even so, she had this light aura around her that made her so easy and light to be around with. Sunghoon would like her even more than you, surely. You had no chance against Wonyoung.

“Hi, Y/N!” She greeted you happily. “I haven’t seen you that much around. It’s nice to finally have a face to your name!”

“Hello, Wonyoung,” you replied, shyly, trying to match her energy even though it took a lot of energy for you to do so. “It’s nice to finally meet you too.”

“Well, I should go. Sunghoon, please remind Mr. Kang that the meeting in Room 601 at 2PM. Thank you so much, you are a saint!” Wonyoung skipped away, which somehow made you feel bad that you thought of her as someone who would take from you—she did nothing wrong and either way, she did not care. You seemed like the only person who cared about it and what does that make you feel? Pathetic. 

You couldn’t believe it. All these feelings for a boy that you’re not even exclusive with! You thought you were going insane!

“Y/N, are you coming?” Sunghoon asked, snapping you back to your senses, realizing that they were a good few steps away from you now on their way to the office cafeteria.

You nodded at him before following them, sticking close to Yunjin this time, instead of your usually comfortable proximity from Sunghoon. This time you were sat farthest away from him, avoiding any glances that would make you feel even more pity for yourself. It was ridiculous! All this for a boy? Insane! That’s what it is.

“Don’t you like your vegetables?” Sunghoon asked once again as he noticed you just looking at your beans and carrots on the side of your tray. You usually loved those, but you did not seem to be in the mood for them right now. Mind going back to the thought of Sunghoon falling for Wonyoung and choosing her instead of you over and over. 

You shrug your head, still not giving him a verbal response until now. “But you always ate those?” He asked curiously. 

“Are you okay, Y/N?”  Jake asked.

Oh you hated that everyone’s eyes were on you now, even Yunjin’s. You feel like you were being put on the spot and you hated it. It feels like you don’t have a choice but to say something even though technically you have every right not to say anything. 

You lied and nodded at them. 

“Liar,” Yunjin rolled her eyes. “Your mood has been off since we got to the dining hall. It’s going to help you so much if you could just tell us what’s going on.”

You could already feel that you were creating an awkward atmosphere by going non-verbal on everyone. “Sorry. Just wasn’t feeling like talking.”

Lunch was over before you knew it. Even though everyone carried on with their conversations with you just listening to them, you knew that all of them were concerned with the sudden dip in your mood with how everyone glanced at you every now and then. 

“Jen, could I borrow Y/N for a minute?” Sunghoon managed to grab you by the arm as you and Yunjin moved to leave the cafeteria. 

Yunjin looked at Sunghoon understandingly before turning to look at you. “Do you want to be borrowed?”

You looked at Sunghoon, who looked like a kicked puppy, pleading for a bit of your time. How could you say no to that? 

The both of you found yourself in one of the empty balcony areas of the office that usually served as a smoking area to some visitors and employees that smoked. 

“Did something happen?” He asked, as he sat next to you in one of the benches in the balcony.

You thought of it hard if it was worth saying. After all, you really were no competition to Wonyoung. There was no point fighting him for it—it’s not like you were something in the first place. You were just overreacting right?

“I’m just overreacting. Nothing really happened,” you confessed, looking at your hands while you picked on them to continue avoiding his gaze. 

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. You hoped he would eventually buy your lies but it did not seem to convince him at all.

“If it makes you react like this, then it must’ve mattered to you,” he explained, reaching for your hand to keep your fingers from picking at the skin around your fingers, a habit he noticed you do whenever you were uncomfortable or anxious. “Was it something I did?”

You shrugged, letting him hold your hand. “You’re okay.”

“Then what seems to be wrong, darling?”

You contemplated on whether you should tell him or not because now that you’ve thought of it, you think that you might’ve been jealous and had been obvious with it. You and Sunghoon are merely just friends—you haven’t talked about anything. You knew you absolutely had no right to be jealous if that was the case.

“It’s petty.”

“I don’t care if it is,” he sighed. “Petty or not, I want to know just so if I can do something about it, you wouldn’t be uncomfortable about it the next time.”

“What’s it like to work with Wonyoung?” You blurted out.

He looks at you surprised, though somehow was able to piece it all together as he smiled at you softly, squeezing your hand in between his. 

“Were you jealous of Wonyoung?”

“I wouldn’t say ‘jealous.’ We’re not even a thing to begin with.”

“Do you want us to be?”

It was your turn to be surprised. You did not expect to hear that question so soon, with only just two weeks of hanging out. Well, if he was that important to you to the point that you were feeling jealous, then maybe you liked him that much as well, don’t you? You liked Sunghoon. You were way past the point of denying that when you asked the barista to write him the note this morning and when you decided that you were going to make an effort to do something nice for him today.

You didn’t know what made you confident enough to do what you did, you managed to clasp your hand with his and nodded your head. 

Sunghoon almost jumped in his seat, he could feel a tear forming in the corner of his eye. Despite his cold visuals, god, he was expressive as hell and his eyes always had a warm look on them. You didn't quite understand why his parents made him look like that. He looks so handsome and confusing everytime you look at him, but it is always a pleasure to be confused if it's Sunghoon you're looking at.

“What's to say you're not going to choose Wonyoung over me along the line?” You asked him, making him chuckle.

“Because Wonyoung and I are related,” he smiled softly. “She's close to me, we grew up together. Our mothers are siblings.” He explained it so carefully while he ran his thumb in circles against the back of your hand, soothing you as he breaks down his relationship with Wonyoung. “I'm also pretty sure Wonyoung likes girls more than she likes guys. Who knows? Maybe Wonyoung can steal you from me?”

Now that you know that information, you realize that Sunghoon and Wonyoung did slightly look alike. You were too jealous to spot it the first time—also, how dare Yunjin not tell you earlier! She's friends with Wonyoung! There's no way she wouldn't have known! She definitely knows.

“Wonyoung could be our kids’ fun sapphic aunt!” he joked, making you snap back to reality.

“Hold your horses, Sunghoon,” you chuckled at him. “Dine me first, at least!”

“What does 7PM after shift sound like? I'll tell Yunjin that I'll bring you home before 10?”

“Only if there's wine.”

“We'll take the best one they have then,” he chuckled, pulling you for a tight hug. You instinctively wrapped yours around his waist and accepted his embrace. “I'm sorry for making you feel weird about me and Wonyoung, Y/N.”

“I should've asked first,” you mumbled. “At least I can be friends with Wonyoung without worrying if I'm homewrecking her relationship.”

Sunghoon laughed at your reply, pulling away before checking his watch. 

“I should give you back to Yunjin. Your break time is almost over,” he sighed. “But I'll pick up at your table later, alright?”

“Mhmm,” you hummed. “Don't miss me too much.”

“A lot to ask for, darling.”

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

“Are you cold?” Sunghoon asked as soon as they entered the diner near the office. It wasn’t too casual, it didn’t look too fancy either. It looked like it was built a few decades before but it was well-maintained, especially the mini tabletop jukebox sitting on the table that’s looking more pristine than ever.

You shrug your head politely at Sunghoon. “How did you know about this place?” You asked, looking around, mesmerized at the decades old interior that survived the different aesthetics that evolved outside of it through the years. 

“My mom used to bring me and my sister here after practice,” he smiled, looking around even pointing at the diner’s mini photowall. “I have a picture right there when I was seven, when I won my first junior national title. During the weekends, my mom and my sister would wait for me until late night to finish practice. We’d eat late dinner here because it would be the only place that’s open by the time I get out of training.”

Something about Sunghoon fondly looking at the place while he talked about his childhood made your heart swell in your chest. You were at least glad that the story behind bringing you to a cute diner was a fond memory and not a routine thing for every single girl he asks out on a date. You were relieved to find out that he isn't like anything Yunjin had tried to warned her about.

“Any suggestions on what I should order then?” you smiled at him. Sunghoon wanted to melt right then and there when you asked, he already had everything written and rehearsed in his head back when he was only fantasizing about talking to you and how here he is on a full on date in a place that he have always been dreaming of taking a girl to ever since he was a little kid.

Sunghoon excitedly scooted over and smiled at her, reaching for the menu to see if it had changed and if his favorite burger was still there. Fortunately, it was still there. He chuckled and pointed it out, explaining every ingredient and how to add up to the immaculate taste of it. He does the same in the pizza that they decided to order. You couldn’t help but chuckle at how big of a nerd he is. It was cute. It really adds up to his charm.

“The last time I was in an actual diner was when my mom picked me up from the hospital because I broke my arm from a bullying incident in school. I was homeschooled after that and we tend to move a lot so I didn’t have any friends prior to being classmates with Yunjin when we finally settled here in Seoul,” you told him, looking at your phone scrolling through your mom’s facebook to show him a photo of you from your freshman year in your pretty private high school uniform with a cast and a pink sling on your arm. You had spaghetti sauce all over your face and your uniform from trying to eat with one hand only. 

“Do I have to get you a napkin? You seem like a really messy eater,” Sunghoon teased. You glared at him playfully, locking your phone and putting it back in your purse.

“No, thank you. I have two functional arms now.”

“Was it fun?”

“What is?”

“Moving around the world,” he asked, fiddling on the engravings of the spoon as he looked at you. 

“Depends on how you define fun,” you responded. “I'm convinced I never really had fun before I met you, Jake and Yunjin.”

Sunghoon cocks his head to the side, curiously raising his brows as if it was going to help him hear better. 

“You guys seem to know how everything works and rarely ever cared about how things would affect you,” you explained. “Maybe that comes with being exposed to the world. I didn't have much of that. Myself from 3 years ago would have a heart attack if she found out that I am on a date now, to be honest.”

“Myself from 3 months ago would have a heart attack if he found out that I am on a date with you right now,” he grinned, eyes crinkling cutely as he giggled. 

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

After many more personal stories and a few more glasses of wine, you were tipsy enough for Sunghoon to assume that it was time to go home. He later found out that you have never tried riding a bus without your mom before due to your semi-overprotective mom choosing to drive you around or give you cab money instead of letting you get on the platform. There was no judgment at all, after hearing all your stories about you and your mom’s adventures around the world and with your dad walking out on you and your mom when you were very young, Sunghoon understands that you were all that your mom has and even he would do whatever it takes to make sure you were safe and alive if you were the only one left for him too.

That being said, it’s the exact reason you and Sunghoon are waiting for the bus’ last trip all tangled in each other's arms, giggling as you continue telling each other’s lores.

Sunghoon was nice. Scratch that—he was amazing—incredible even. He walked on the side near the street, he held your hand while crossing, always made sure you were comfortable, seeing as it was your first time experiencing all that. He was a gentleman. Oh dear. You couldn’t ask for anything more. 

It didn’t take that long though before you started gaining stares, especially after the event where the other Marketing interns watched Sunghoon cling to your side the entire time despite them having more time to work together during the preparations. Wonyoung had her fair share of death stares towards her colleagues but it could only go so far—she couldn’t control them whenever she had her back turned on them. You and Wonyoung eventually became friends too after all that fiasco.

“It’s so annoying!” Wonyoung complained as she brought her tray next to you and Yunjin across from her cousin and Jake. “They are still yapping about seeing you and Y/N in the event! It’s not like they’re entitled to your ugly ass’ attention! Literally it’s so awkward to work with them! All they talk about is Sunghoon this, Sunghoon that. It’s like they want to lick your ass or something!”

“I’m not sure if I want to hear that girlypop,” Jake snorted, holding back his laughter at Wonyoung’s choice of words. 

“I heard one of the marketing interns whispering names when we were in the elevator this morning,” Yunjin rolled her eyes. 

Jake found it bizarre that you seemed to be the most unbothered among you three. You were just minding your own business sorting out the beans and the carrots from your vegetable side and seemed to be having a great time unlike your friends who are about to burst in annoyance that all those are being said to you.

“You don’t seem bothered by it, Y/N. No?”

“I’ve been bullied multiple times before,” it was your turn to snort now. “All these are not even a quarter compared to what I’ve experienced. Plus, if I’m going to be called a slut, which happened on multiple occasions in middle school and high school, it's at least worth it now.”

“For the record, I do not treat you like anything of that sort,” Sunghoon defended himself. 

“Thank fucking god, Sunghoon!” Wonyoung dramatically sighs. “Thank you for giving us the bare minimum!”

“The bar is in hell anyway,” Yunjin laughed. “I think he’s at least decent.”

Everyone else will have an opinion about how Sunghoon treats you but to you, Sunghoon was the nicest guy you’ve ever met. Okay, maybe that’s not as reliable to hear considering you don’t meet and be friends with a lot of people—but Sunghoon isn’t anything like Yunjin’s ex-boyfriends. He listens to every word you say and remembers it. He treats you very well—even your mom agrees when you told her about him once. Yunjin was giddy kicking her feet while lying on her stomach on your bed that night. They were both so fond of Sunghoon and how gentle he is with you.

So, yes. Maybe you were going to be called a slut probably more times than you thought but maybe for once it’s worth it—if this time, you are with Sunghoon.

—end

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

masterlist

a/n : hi hello ! i've been soooooo busy with internship and the idea of this fic might or might not be inspired by my little office crush on the IT intern on the other side of our floor pls HAHAHAHAHA anyways, i hope you liked this one ! you can leave your thoughts here or through the notes! lemme know what i can still improve on or what you want me to write nexttt !!

tnx for making it this far <33

xo, anya ୨୧