#but i was also going for under. 4:30. which i was not really that worried about actually hitting. i'm much more concerned/focused now...

[cutielando]

brazil, my heart | m.v.

synopsis: in which Max finally makes a statement during the Brazilian GP

a/n: based on this request!

my masterlist

Your lip was stuck between your teeth as the whole garage waited anxiously for the start of the race.

The weather had kept everyone on their toes ever since the Sprint race had finished, and it seemed to be set on continuing to do so during the race.

Frankly, it wasn't something that you were very much keen on.

You were very tired, having woken up at 5 am to join Max at the track for the early Qualifying session from 7:30, you didn't want to take a nap after Max was done with Qualifying so you could talk to him, but now you were slowly starting to regret it.

Your nerves were stretched thin as you anxiously watched the 5 lights turn on one by one, your heart jumping in your ribcage once they went out and everyone lunged forward.

"Max up to P11" GP's voice suddenly rang through your headset, making you finally let out a sigh you hadn't realized you had been holding.

Max had long ago come to an agreement with his race engineers to do his best to keep you in the loop with regular updates because he knew you sometimes got too nervous or scared to actually watch the race.

The weather really didn't help your nerves, either.

You were always afraid for Max in dry conditions, but seeing him race in this rain and with the low grip level on the track, let's just say you were gonna have a lot more gray hairs by the time the race is over, which feels like a lifetime away.

Wet racing was often known to be one of Max's best conditions for racing, but it also meant more dangerous conditions.

Seeing the spray that the cars would leave behind, just having to imagine having to drive at such high speeds with water in your face, barely able to see anything, desperately trying to keep the car on track. There was no room for any mistake, no matter how little.

You trusted Max and his abilities, but that didn't mean you weren't still gonna be worried out of your ass for him.

"Red flag. Max is coming into the garage" GP's voice snapped you out of your thoughts, your stance immediately perking up at the sound of the news.

You waited until the cars had come into the pitlane to take off your set of headphones and make your way outside of the garage, anxiously waiting to see your boyfriend emerge from his car.

The moment you had laid eyes on him coming towards you, you hurriedly started walking over to him, not caring about any of the engineers or frankly anyone else from his team.

You only cared about making sure he was okay.

Just to ease your mind and worries.

"Hey babe-" Max barely got a word in before you jumped straight into his embrace, wrapping your arms around his neck tightly.

He grunted, but returned the tight hug, careful not to squash your head with his helmet.

You buried your head into his shoulder as best as you could, your heart racing as you finally felt him under your fingertips, okay and all in one piece.

“I’m never joining you at the track for another wet race ever again. I’ve had 4 panic attacks until now” you said, half joking and half telling the truth.

Max laughed, his arms tightening around your waist.

He knew how much you worried about him every time he would get into the car, and he also knew how much you hated the wet races. And he couldn’t blame you, but he was the best in those conditions, so you had nothing to worry about on his end.

“Is it that bad?” he asked, looking at his engineer over your shoulder who gave him a short and worried nod.

“It’s worse. I don’t know how you guys can see the track in front of your eyes from all that spray” you said, slowly letting go of him and stepping back from his arms.

Max pulled up his visor and smiled at you, the crinkles by his eyes telling you everything you needed to know.

“Hey, I’ve got this. Don’t worry about me, I’m driving the race of my life out there and everything is okay. I love you and I’ll come back to you in one piece” he said, holding our face in his gloved hands.

You bit your lip and studied him for a little while before nodding, giving him one last hug before he was pulled away by his engineers to go over data.

Running a hand through your already disheveled hair, you slowly made your way back into the garage, occupying your seat and putting your headphones back on.

Half more of this torture to go.

♡♡♡♡♡

The tears were falling down your cheeks before you could even think about stopping them, before the race was even close to being over.

Even though you couldn't see him, you could imagine what was going on behind Max's helmet, what feelings were going through his mind as he was leading the race towards victory.

Those last few laps seemed like they were taking forever, but then he finally crossed the finish line and took the checkered flag in first position.

You didn't think it was possible, but a new wave of tears started falling down your eyes, sobs racking through your body.

"P1, He's done it, Y/N" GP's voice rung through your ears, but you didn't care for any of it.

The only thing you cared about was seeing Max.

You got up from your chair and put the headphones on a table in front of you, your legs carrying you fast towards where his car was parked.

"Max!" you yelled just as he took off his helmet, his smile radiating as he started walking towards you.

You didn't waste a second before you flung your arms around his neck and jumped into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist as Max squeezed you close.

"I did it" he whispered into your ear, the smile evident in his voice.

You nodded, burying your face into the crook of his neck as you clung onto his body.

"I'm so proud of you" you murmured, pressing little kisses on his neck and his cheek.

Nothing could ever beat this feeling, being right there in your arms after winning a much-awaited Grand Prix.

Nothing could be better than that for him.

comments and re-blogs help us grow!

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REQUEST HERE

[bsaka7]

doing this extra thing for work where i'm gonna be working the occasional thursday night which is like honestly cool whatever but the BIGGER news is. this means i'll be able to run a road half marathon this summer. HUGE but also STRESSFUL. but also so exciting!!!!!

[batboyblog]

https://www.tumblr.com/batboyblog/763234650399424512/the-recent-chappell-roan-thing-is-why-i-absolutely

I frankly also get the impression that a lot of these people genuinely think another Trump term will just be “business as usual” or “it’ll only hurt the people who deserve to suffer” and that they’ll just be able to hide away from the consequences for four years before someone comes along and fixes the mess for them and they get to benefit.

I don’t think they have any realization of just how bad this is gonna get the second time around, because the first time Trump was metaphorically behind a chained fence and held back by strong rope. This time he’s being let loose alongside his fascist theocratic friends.

I've puzzled about this for some time, because like do people honestly not remember what it was like? what those 4 years were like? the fear, the chaos, the national embarrassment. Every day waking up and going "oh god! what did he DO! while I was asleep!" and how often you'd wake up to some story that he'd tweeted something scary and dangerous at 4am. I believe him threatening to nuke North Korea (the "Fire and Fury" tweet) was one of those very early AM specials that we all woke up to.

I mean for people like Chappell, its hard to remember, but Trump has been the more or less national main character for 9 years, since the fall of 2015. I mean an 18 year old first time voter could have been 8 years old when Trump came down the gold escalators told us all that Mexicans were rapists and he was running for President. So for anyone under 30, Trump is normal since every election they've been able to vote in, he's been the Republican nominee. I've spent 9 years of my life, across 5 elections fighting Trump directly or indirectly. Depressing thought that.

but past that there's been a national effort to gaslight us all into thinking "yeah no it was normal" I mean I remember the media coverage of 2017, the first year or so of Trump's Presidency, every few weeks or so there'd be some "is it time for the 25th amendment now?" story about if Trump's weird behavior this time for his cabinet to step it and remove him. (A quick google turned up CNN Oct 2017, New York Times May 2017, The Guardian July 2017, and Vox February 2017) compare that to coverage today? The term "Sane-washing" has been coined where when Trump says something bonkers it gets characterized as "sometimes meandering" rather than "incomprehensible" and "worrying"

figures in the media have gone so far as to claim there's just no point to covering new Trump scandals because "they won't move the needle" which really should not be a journalist standard. And we see that they do, take North Carolina's Mark Robinson. Caught in a massive scandal, involving sex, porn, and being a Nazi, he's now down massively in the polls after nation wide coverage. Trump just had new court documents opened that showed he wanted a riot on January 6th, that his reaction to a mob threatening the life of his Vice-President was "so what?" and they he knew full well that he had lost but was going to "fight like hell" any ways. And its not much of a story, indeed I'm seeing more news about a NY Republican Congress having worn black face (new story today) than Trump's effort to over throw the government and kill Mike Pence.

past the media's gaslighting of course there's been a major and on-going campaign to effect how we see reality. I know that sounds very woo-woo, but to step back for second, most of what we know about the world is stuff people tell us, so you know Joe Biden is the President because other people have said so, most likely you've never met him or even seen him in person. Well as more and more people turn away from traditional media, and traditional media turns more and more to making of money by confirming the bias of people, it becomes easier and easier to slip things that are not real into "facts we are told". So for example "Joe Biden is President, and also in decline" there's never been any real evidence of that, but if on social media you are bombarded with it 4,000 times a day... you start to take it as understood wisdom.

people are also getting worse and worse at not just taking what they're told if it confirms biases they already have. Former Vice-President Al Gore wrote a book nearly 20 years ago now, called "The Assault on Reason" which had a ton of very interest neuroscience about the ways that moving images, TV he was talking about, by-pass the logic centers of the mind, the way we relate and trust someone talking to us in a way the written word does not. I can't help but reflect on that with the rise of TikTok and short form video as a "source of information" (lol)

any ways this is a long winded way of saying bad faith players, Republicans, left wing grifters, and agents of chaos, have been very good at flooding the zone all through the Biden Presidency with stuff "student loan debt" remember when that was SO! important SO big and Biden "not doing anything" (untrue) was the biggest deal? well yesterday his newest plan got unlocked in court and 3 out of every 4 people with loan debt will get relief.... oh you're just now hearing about that from me? huh... funny... I thought it was the number one issue and reason we should never trust Biden and the Democrats... weird....

but there have been other issues pushed up as THE! issue, its all misdirection, its all meant to get natural Democratic voters to feel frustrated, upset, and hopeless, and not to vote their interest. The world is a big complex multi moving machine, and anyone telling you that one issue either fixes every other issue or totally totally outweighs everything else and should for everyone, is most likely BSing you and doesn't have your best interests at heart.

and lets be clear, Trump is a Rapist he's a lot of things, traitor, racist, scumbag, criminal, scab, tax cheat, fraud, etc but for me any ways, I'm not gonna vote for a rapist to be President and if other people aren't gonna do everything they can to stop a rapist from being the President I don't want to hear how much they care about progressive issues.

[o0o0thorn0o0o]

Late, I know, but…! Only by two days, so I’ll still label/tag it:

Ichihime Week, Day 7: Mythical Lovers / Rainbow

I was planning on adding in magpies in the background this time, but I was getting lazy, and it’s already late, so maybe next time ^^;

(Also I was thinking of making a rainbow version, but it didn't come out as I would have liked? Idk. I still think it’s cute, though, so I put it under the cut)

Alrighty, listen: I really didn’t mean to wait this long to post. But, like, very shortly after Eid, my iPad’s storage filled up, like, to the point I couldn’t even access my mail (that’s how I found out, pfft). I was wondering why I’d ever need 256 GB 4 years ago… but still, it was $100 extra bucks. Sure, it was a grad gift, but 128 GB was expensive enough—still a lot of storage, too… Not enough, clearly!

Hoarding layers (and recoloring my own art, pfft) has really caught up to me… but also, it wouldn’t help too much if I didn’t either. After deleting what I could bear to part with, that took away around 5 GB, but merging layers in other works barely made a dent.

So I’ve spent these past few weeks wondering what to do, thinking about emailing my 2019 (imported from my 5s) and 2020 works to an email I also created 4 years ago for some reason I totally forgot about and never used so that I don’t end up taking any space in my actual one and then uploading them onto two (since I really don’t want my files corrupting) USBs via my laptop, trying to get those USBs from Target (but since I was adamant this time in getting 256 GB USBs—I don’t want to have to worry about storage for a longgggg time—there were none in stock), ordering them off of eBay instead since my dad insisted on their cheapness, waiting a week for them, then transferring them to that email and uploading them onto its Google drive if the files was too big…

But that was taking much too long and still left space on my iPad while I was doing it. I managed to complete the 2019 and 2020 pieces from my iPad, but it also only ended up being around 1 GB… So, like, I need to clear more years (breaks my heart, it does ;~; Sure, I still have access to them via that email and those USBs, but it’s not convenient anymore, and there are still pieces I plan on getting back to… ackkkkk).

Contemplating it some more and discussing it with a friend, much as I abhor subscription services, I finally decided to purchase a premium membership on Ibis for that 20 GB of cloud storage. I can afford the 30 bucks a year, and I like the app anyway—serves me good—and not having to watch an ad every 18 hours to access my go-to brushes would be nice, plus having access to the other stuff, but yeah: ✋🌈✨cloud storage✨🌈 🤚

Anyway, I’m pretty sure a good chunk of what’s taking up my space is actually the cache, as I’m already more than halfway through my drawings, and I’m not sure if I’ll reach that 75 GB of storage Ibis was apparently taking up with just my drawings. So I’ll probably need to download everything, then delete the app and redownload it ‘cause stupid IOS doesn’t let you easily clear it 🫠

Anyway, I really thought I’d be done by now, but am not—that said, I managed to clear out around 10 GB off of Ibis (not my iPad; I somehow managed to gain back 5?? Somewhere?? I’ve no clue; I don’t see it), which is wayyy more than enough to get one drawing done for IH week, so I paused the whole storage thing for now. I actually tried to get day one’s drawing done on the 6th, but I’m dealing with perspective that’s hurting my brain, so I decided to get day seven’s done instead, ‘cause I thought I’d be on time…

Me? On time? Man, who knew I was so funny… 😒

But yeah, day seven is done! I’ll definitely revisit that day one drawing in the future, but not anytime soon. As if I wasn’t backed up already, this whole storage mess has backlogged even further, and there are other dates coming up 😮‍💨 And, y’know, gotta finish the storage transfer, too… Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Anyway, on a more positive note, gradient maps are actually very neat to use—had a little too much fun, eheh. I won’t confess how much time I spent testing it out on this piece, but here be my favorite:

They’re so golden <3 ☺️

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hey, I love mystery stories and I really want to write one myself but I don't know where to start. A mystery story is just so complex, with all the details and red herrings and subplots and the truth being buried under lies and in little things that many may overlook, and you have to balance it so the answer is not too obvious but also not coming out of nowhere, and I worry about things being contrived. Should I start with writing the truth and basically write the story backwards? Or should I start somewhere else?

Plotting a Mystery

I'm not a mystery writer, but if I was going to write a mystery, I think my plotting would go something like this:

1 - Fleshing Out the Truth - What actually happened, "whodunnit" (if someone dunnit), and what events led to this happening? Imagine the event as it's playing out. What sort of evidence might be left behind as to what really happened? What evidence might be obvious upon closer investigation (looking into things like cell phone data, computer searches, hidden motives, etc.)

2 - Fleshing Out the Back Story - In addition to the events that led up to the event in question, what other back story details are important? What players and situations need to be fleshed out and understood in order to understand the truth of what happened?

3 - Fleshing Out the Clues - Knowing the truth of what happened, as well as the relevant players/back story, what kinds of clues might be evident at the scene of the incident? Would there be any forensic clues like fingerprints, blood, hair, or touch DNA? Would there be any circumstantial evidence, like say a matchbook with a particular bar name on it, a cigarette butt with a smudge of red lipstick, shoe prints or tire tracks? What about clues like surveillance videos, eye witnesses, and apparent motives? Which of these clues do you want to be found by any first responders? Do you want any to be found later by other characters who are investigating?

4 - Fleshing Out the "First 48" - What happened in the first 48 hours after the incident? Who discovers that something happened and how do they make this discovery? How do they respond? Do police and investigators get involved? What do they do? What clues do they find and what do they make of them? Who do they interview? What conclusions do they come to? Who are the possible suspects?

5 - Fleshing Out the Trail of Clues - If there are a lot of clues that stretch out across a period of time and/or space, I would probably plot that out on paper so I could see when/how each clue was left, then think about how and when my characters might come upon those clues. For example, if I know one clue was discarded on the interstate, I know that's a clue that won't be found until later. And, I'll have to think about what led my characters to look there, or how some random person stumbled upon it.

I hope that gives you some ideas about how to proceed, but if you're still stuck, I know there are some really great guides available that will walk you through plotting a mystery.

Happy writing! ETA: See the reblogs for tips and resources from @incobalt who is a mystery writer! :)

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[hearts4golbach]

The Night Shift.

Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Reader.

Chapter 30.

the day before the concert, tara and i spent hours putting together our perfect Falling in Reverse concert outfits. with the two of our closets combined, and with the help of Jake and Johnnies too, but they don't need to know that, we were finally content with what we were going in. clothes were scattered everywhere, but we'd worry about that later.

Tara decided on a mini skirt with 3 different belts that we had found in jakes closet, which she had stacked strategically. she took one of my blinged up hot pink crop tops that i hadn't worn since 8th grade and had that as her top. she threw a fur coat over the top of everything. she threw on her chunky black boots with spikes and a cute pair of leg warmers on to finish the look. she had been planning on the makeup she was going to do for months, but all it was was her usual makeup with pink eyeshadow and eyeliner stars on her cheek.

i ended up wearing [outfit of your choice] and paired it with [makeup of your choice].

johnnies outfit was jaw-dropping. he chose his black lace button up and obviously wore it halfway unbuttoned. he layered about 10 different necklaces and rings. he also decided on wearing a new pair of dark red skinny jeans with his usual black boots. he tied it all together with his leather jacket. for johnnies makeup, he smudged red lipstick under his eyes and streaked black eyeliner down his face.

jakes outfit was just as cunty as the rest of us; he wore a cropped black tank top paired with his favorite pair of flared jeans. he also chose his belt with bullets on it. he decided on not even bringing a jacket with his reason being "he has tattoos for a reason." he also wore platform shoes and an arrangement of bracelets, some i had never seen before. jake decided to wear no makeup to the concert.

tara slept over so it'd be easier for all of us to take the 4 hour drive early in the morning. we had decided to rent a hotel so we could all get fucked up during the concert and not have to worry about driving home when we could just call an uber. all of us were restless that night, but forced ourselves to sleep so we were really ready for the concert.

i woke up the next morning wrapped in johnnies arms, per usual. the alarm was reverberating in my ears as Johnnie was also starting to stir awake. he opened his eyes and squinted them to look at me, a small smile forming on his face. "mornin'." his groggy sleep voice greeted.

"good morning. you excited?" i asked, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. i climbed out of the bed and stretched, making a million different bones in my body crack at once. "we gotta hurry up and take our showers since everyone else needs to, too."

Johnnies eyes scanned over my body. he sighed and propped himself up on his elbow. "do you want to just take a shower together? it'd save time." he smirked, gently squeezing my hand before he began fidgeting with my fingers.

"i like that idea." i placed a gentle kiss on his lips before dragging him out of bed into the bathroom.

i started the shower, making sure it was nice and warm as Johnnie got undressed. i wasn't far behind him, getting undressed myself before stepping into the shower with him. the warm water on my back woke me up as much as it was relaxing. i watched as the water trickled down Johnnies body and seeped into his inked skin. he ran his moist hands down my body and grabbed the body wash. he squirted some into his hands and began to wash my body. he had nothing but admiration in his eyes as they trailed over every part of me. he made sure no part of me was unwashed before going to wash himself. i did the same for him, helping him wash every inch of his pale skin. he shampooed and conditioned my hair, and while i wash washing mine out, he cleaned his own. he kissed me softly, but passionately before turning off the shower and climbing out. he wrapped me up in a soft towel, as well as himself.

we made our way back to our bedroom to pack our 1 day trip bags quickly. i stole johnnies pair of chunky pajama pants to wear on the drive, as well as my Lana Del Rey tee that was beaten up and bruised from all of the use. i packed all of my makeup and my concert outfit. i didn't bother packing an outfit for the second day there since we were leaving and heading home as soon as we got checked out of the hotel. Johnnie packed pretty much the same thing as i did, the only difference being he did pack an outfit for the second day. he threw on a pair of black skinny jeans and a My Chemical Romance tee shirt to wear on the drive there.

there was a small knock on the door before tara's bright voice called out, "you guys up?" we both answered yeah at the same time. she opened the door and greeted me with a hug. "morning!" she greeted excitedly.

i hugged her back tight. "morning, Tar." i heard the shower start from down the hall. "damn, is Jake just now getting in?"

"yeah, it took me, like, 20 minutes to actually get him out of bed. he snoozed his alarm 3 times before i had to go in there and drag him out of bed myself." she sighed, sitting on the bed next to me.

Johnnie shut down his PC so it wasn't wasting electricity while we were away. "well, that's Jake for you."

tara rolled her eyes. "yeah, well, he needs his beauty sleep, anyway."

"did you get your bag fully packed?" i asked, tossing my bag over my shoulder.

"duh, i got everything ready." she smiled.

the three of us moved down to the living room, bringing our bags and everything else we needed with us. Johnnie sprawled himself out over the couch. i made my way into the kitchen and grabbed a bunch of water bottle and a few snacks for the road, putting them in one of my goat bags and setting it with the rest of our shit. Jake ended up joining me in the kitchen with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"okay, slut." i mumbled under my breath jokingly. i walked back out of the kitchen to join Johnnie on the couch.

"i know you are not talk to me, skank." he snapped his fingers and grabbed his zyns and decaf coffee off of the counter. he threw that shit in the microwave like it was nobody's business. he leaned against the counter and went on his phone.

i rolled my eyes, "is your bag even packed?"

"no," he answered nonchalantly before taking a selfie. i realized later on that he had posted it on his instagram story.

"that's wild that you're worried about your coffee right now, then." i laughed, "what if we're late to see Ronnie?" i over exaggerated.

he pursed his lips, "well, Ronnie can wait for my coffee." he smiled, taking a sip before heading up to his room.

tara had hopped in the shower immediately after jake did. she always took extremely long showers, but she made it quick today.

Jake made his way back downstairs with tara by his side less than 10 minutes later. with all of our bags and shit we needed on hand, we headed out the door.

Johnnie and I climbed into the back seat while jake and tara took the front. tara had music privileges for the first hour of the drive. her music taste was definitely different from mine, but I didn't mind it.

I leaned my head against johnnies shoulder and stared out of the front windshield, watching as all of the buildings and cars sped past. he wrapped his arm around my waist, his hand resting on my hip as he went on his phone to scroll through tiktok. my eyes flickered to his phone, watching as he reposted silly edits of himself, and of me and him, that fans had created.

Jake and tara had begun bickering about her lip smacking that annoyed jake ever so much. I felt johnnies shoulders jiggle, signaling that he was laughing. I quietly laughed along, aswell. they fought like a married couple, sometimes.

I could feel myself becoming drowsy as the car lulled me to sleep. my eyelids felt like bricks. it was way too early in the morning for this, especially when I was in and out of sleep all of last night. I gave in, letting my eyes fall shut as I slowly fell asleep on johnnies shoulder.

I woke up about an hour and a half later. johnnie was now watching Netflix on his phone. tara was passed out in the front seat, and jake was next to her, gently bobbing his head to the slower song playing on the radio. johnnie had felt me stir awake and began to rub my hip gently.

johnnie cleared his throat, "was that a good nap?" he teased.

I stretched my back before placing my head back on his shoulder. "Actually, yeah. your shoulder is a great pillow." I placed a kiss on his cheek, nuzzling my head further into his neck. "we should stop and get breakfast somewhere."

"I second that." jake stuck up one finger before rubbing his tummy. "I could eat a horse pussy right now."

his weird comment made tara finally open her eyes, as she had been stirring for a while. "what a great sentence to wake up to, jake."

he patted her knee, "sorry, sweetie."

we pulled into the closest McDonald's and bought breakfast. jake ate with one hand as he continued to drive, nearly fisting the breakfast sandwiches he had gotten. Jake and I both got coffees and the same breakfast sandwiches, a mcgrittle. we were practically twins at that point. I smiled at johnnie as he happily munched on his breakfast next to me. he smiled back.

by the time we were all done with our breakfast, we were about an hour out from the hotel. jake and tara switched seats since she offered to drive the rest of the way.

the rest of the drive was silent except for the soft music on the radio. I could tell we were all pretty tired from the long drive, and we'd all probably need a nap whenever we got to the hotel. to be fair, the coffee did wake up me and jake, though. honestly, nothing slaps like a good McDonald's coffee with extra creamer this early in the morning.

we had finally made it even earlier than we expected. I climbed out of the car and stretched, cracking my back before grabbing my things out of the car. Jake got the key card for the hotel while we unpacked the car, although there wasn't much to unpack. we brought all of our bags inside and made out way up to the hotel room.

the room was extremely nice. there were two beds, a large window with a beautiful overview of the city, and the usual hotel room accommodations.

I threw myself onto the bed I was claiming for Johnnie and i. I watched as jake filled the mini fridge with water bottles. we all took our concert outfits out of our bags so they wouldn't get wrinkled from staying cramped up for too much longer.

Jake and I ordered lunch from the hotel, although it was a pretty late lunch. the three of us started on our makeup, which influenced jake to actually do his own. he ended up smudging eyeliner in his waterline before calling it a day.

none of us changed into our outfits. we all sat on our respective beds and ate our lunch-dinner while watching some random ghost hunting show on the channel that was already on whenever I had turned on the TV.

before taking another bite, I spoke up. "are we going to leave as soon as we're ready so we don't have to wait in a long ass line to get inside?"

Jake gulped down what he was chewing. "That's what I was thinking, yeah." Tara and Johnnie agreed with him. 

after finishing our food 10 minutes later, we all got changed. I smoothed out my outfit in the mirror.

Johnnie came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "you look great, baby." he smiled, planting a kiss on my cheek.

"thank you," I turned around, hooking my arms behind his neck and kissing his lips softly.

Tara's chunky shoes clumped down the hallway as we made our way to the elevator. "over here sounding like a fucking elephant, damn." jake teased her, gently shoving her shoulder.

she shoved him back harder. "shut up, they're cute!"

Johnnie gripped my hand, interlocking his fingers with mine. I scanned his whole body, admiring how good he looked in his outfit. fuck, he looked hot. I smirked slightly before turning away. a blush was painted across his face as he smiled.

Jake called the Uber as we waited out front of the hotel.

"why did you just now call it? why couldn't you have called the Uber when we were getting ready, it would've been here by now." I scolded, not actually caring, just wanting to complain and annoy jake.

"because I didn't know how long it'd take you ladies to get ready. don't act like I haven't heard the conspiracy theories about girls taking forever to get ready."

"conspiracy theories?" I repeated, "conspiracy theories is wild."

"well, they seem to be true." he crossed his arms, popping his hip out to the side.

"like you don't take 2 hours in the bathroom every morning playing with your hair." I retorted, looking around to see if the Uber was close.

"okay, well, that's different." he rolled his eyes.

"mhm, right."

the Uber arrived eventually. we all piled in the back, pretty much sitting on top of eachother. we were all buzzing with excitement, and we weren't even buzzed yet.

"I think my first goal when we get there is to get a drink," I admitted with a sly smile plastered across my face.

"I second that." Tara was fixing her makeup in her phone camera.

"me too." jake and Johnnie responded in the same tone at the same time.

the 20 minute drive to the stadium felt like a 20 year drive, but I knew that was just the excitement and eagerness getting to me.

whenever we arrived, it took us 30 minutes to get inside, which was much better than it could've been.

we wandered around the stadium, looking for a good bar that had been set up. we ran into 3 before finding one with a good menu compared to the other ones.

we hurriedly ordered our drinks and made our way to our 'seats,' although none of us would be sitting during the actual concert.

we were an hour and a half early, or at least an hour and a half early for the openers. I had high hopes for the concert, I mean, it was a rock, emo, whatever you wanna call it, concert after all.

I sat back in my seat, propping my feet up as I sipped on my drink. to say it was strong would be an understatement, even though I was far from a lightweight.

"wanna try a sip of mine?" johnnie offered, handing me his clear plastic cup.

I gratefully accepted, handing him mine in return. I hummed at the taste of his, "I think I like yours more."

"honestly, me too." he laughed. we ended up trading drinks.

tara took a video of the four of us. "holy shit, falling in reverse!" she screamed over the hundreds of other people in the stadium that were most likely saying the same shit. she ended up posting it on her story.

the openers came on with a bang. smoke covered the stage before a much smaller artist, I wasn't sure of the name, strutted onto the stage.

the crowd cheered, but not as loud as I knew it'd be whenever Ronnie came on.

the small band played 6 different songs, and they were all surprisingly good. they were more of a nu metal band compared to Falling in Reverse. I mean, I wasn't complaining.

the four of us spent majority of that time taking pictures for our Instagrams. I mean, obviously. what else would you expect?

Jake and I were on drink duty. we sped back to the pop up stand and ordered everyone the same drinks they had had before, except me and johnnies were flipped.

we made it back just in time for the openers last song. it was a bug finale, to say the least. the LED screen behind them flashed before everything went dark. the crowd roared with excitement.

we were left in the dark suspensully. i was practically shaking with excitement as i heard the low murmurs of the crowd. the LED screen turned to a dark red moments later.

finally, Ronnie walked out onto the stage with the rest of the band members following. everyone cheered and shouted as they came out on stage. johnnie and jake seemed over the moon with excitement. but, so were me and tara.

Ronnie greeted the crowd, earning a screaming mess of greetings back. he laughed before getting into the very first song.

of course, he had to open with one of his most popular songs, 'The Drug in Me is You.' I knew this song like the back of my hand, just like every other song by him.

I gripped johnnies hands, shaking him as I screamed the lyrics in his face. I was as dramatic as I could possibly get, and he returned the same energy.

Johnnie took out his phone and recorded a snippet of the first song before flipping the camera to us and pulling me in, kissing me on the lips before ending the recording. I knew his fans would eat that shit up whenever he posted it.

we went just as hard for the next few songs before another one of my favorites came on, 'Get Me Out.' I practically screeched whenever I heard the first few words of the song.

to say everyone's hair was a mess at this point in the concert would be an understatement. Me, Johnnie, jake, and tara were sweaty and dirty, but that didn't stop us in any way.

Johnnie gripped my waist tightly as we screamed the lyrics out into the crowd and towards eachother, our energy never fading.

there was a short intermission, which gave me and jake just enough time to run and grab more drinks. to be fair, all of us were pretty drunk at this point in the concert, but who was there to tell us no?

we scrambled back to our seats as we heard the drum rhythm for 'I'm not a Vampire' begin.

I could see johnnie singing the lyrics as he watched the performance on stage. since we were still a bit of a walk away, I took a picture. seeing him in the stadium lighting was heavenly, and he seemed so into the music, it just made for the perfect picture of him. I planned to set it as my lock screen as soon as we got back to the hotel.

there was not much different about the last few songs, except for the fact that I was exhausted and out of breath. I had a feeling I wouldn't have a voice in the morning, either.

as the last chord of the song rang throughout the stadium, Johnnie gripped my waist and kissed me passionately. I reciprocated, kissing him back with the same intensity. he pulled away, his eyes sparkling. "I love you."

my lower lip quivered as I couldn't help but smile. "I love you, too."

[imagine-that-100]

Chicken Shop Date | Part 5 |

By @imagine-that-100​ and @alovesreading​

Description: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You and your best friend Amelia came up with a very simple idea of taking celebrities on awkward chicken shop dates, and somehow, it’s managed to become both of your jobs. In the past, you’ve found sitting across from some of the biggest stars on the planet and eating chicken nuggets easy. But then Amelia manages to score you a date with the man who you’ve been obsessed with since you were nineteen; Matty Healy.

Word Count: 24.5k

A/N: Heyyyyyy, so this part is a lot. We really hope you enjoy Matty and Baby’s date! It’s finally New Year’s Eve, yayyyyyy!!! Me and A are going to go and find some holy water, but we hope you enjoy the new part and we can’t wait for your reactions. Thanks so much for reading x

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

| N’s Masterlist | A’s Masterlist |

~*~*~*~ New Year’s Eve ~*~*~*~

Today is finally the day.

After 3 long months, and this last week stretching on forever, it’s finally New Year’s Eve.

And you’re feeling every emotion under the sun.

Considering you love sleeping, you got such a small amount last night because of your nerves for today. You’re sure there was excitement in your system as well that made it difficult to stay asleep, but all you know for certain was that every time you woke up your heart was racing.

You think you probably got about 6 hours in total, but you were waking up every hour or so and when you saw that it was 8am you just decided to get up because there was no way you were getting back to sleep. And you willed the hours of the day to disappear, but time seemed to be moving agonisingly slowly.

Getting ready early is never really a thing you do but today after you showered, you started getting ready at 12:30 for your date which is at 4:30. It’s probably one of the stupidest things you could have done because you had already planned your outfit with Amelia the day before and it doesn’t take you a long time to do your hair or make up.

You were ready by 2 o’clock, but you held off from putting your outfit on because you didn’t want to crumple it as you sat lounging around waiting for the time to tick away. And today time seemed to be moving even slower than it had done the past week.

How you wish you had both decided to go out even earlier so you weren’t wishing your day away.

The only thing that made the time pass a little quicker was the text you received from Matty at about 2:45 saying, If you stand me up I’m coming to your flat and making you pay for it xx

That eliminated some of your nerves because in the back of your mind there was always that seed of doubt that this date might never happen and you’d get stood up. You’d been burnt before a few years ago and the worry never really left on each actual date you’d been on since.

To keep things lighthearted, you remind him of your words from a few months earlier, Like I said I’m a professional, I’d never stand someone up x

Think of my reputation, I wouldn’t damage it. You know far too many people… You also quickly add, and just to tease him that little bit more before you see him again, you send, How would I ever get my date with George?? xxx

You can picture the way he probably bites his tongue and shakes his head when he reads that last one come through on his phone. And you’re certain it probably happened like that because his response is, You’re a little bitch xx

Thank you, I know x You reply, giggling the entire time.

God, you really can’t wait to be in his presence again. It’s bad just how much you’re craving it at this point.

You decide to tease him just once more before your date because you know you’re just putty in his hand when you’re in person, so you reply, Although, depends on what the payment is because sounds interesting xx

But even his response now makes your cheeks heat up and you want to squeal into your hands, Don’t tease or we won’t make it to the date x

Grinning like a Cheshire Cat, you text him back saying, Exactly why you’re not picking me up and I’m meeting you there xx

4:30 on the dot or there will be consequences Miss Y/L/N xx He warns you again, but it makes you even more cheeky, and you can’t stop yourself from replying accordingly.

See you at 4:31 xxx

When you check the time again after that, it’s 3 and now you can’t stop yourself from getting ready. You lay your outfit out on your bed early which mostly consists of your Miu Miu clothes that you were given.

You wanted that on to tease him with, as you know that was one of your Instagram pictures that he liked. But the weather was far too cold for a mini skirt, so instead you chose black leather pants to accompany your black bralette, which pretty much acts like a crop top, and blazer.

And just to add to it, you decided the only accessory you’d be wearing would be a black ribbon that you’re going to tie around your neck in a bow, like a choker. And you’re definitely doing this because as soon as you even mentioned it, Amelia agreed.

After slipping your Louis Vuittons on, you’re pretty much ready to go. The only thing left to do is for the clock to tick down and you’ll finally be able to have your second date with Matty Healy.

What the fuck is your life?

~*~*~*~

Getting to the restaurant a little early probably wasn’t the best for Matty’s nerves, even if it only was ten minutes. Because he lives in North, he decided that he needed to give it at least an hour and twenty minutes for the hour drive it was to get to Brixton from his.

He was so eager to leave his house after getting ready though that he wasn’t fussed about the time. But now waiting for you to arrive is slowly eating him alive.

Like you, Matty didn’t sleep well either. Although, that’s quite usual for him, last night was beyond a joke. It was almost 4am before he fell asleep the first time, and he’d woken up every hour or so filled with nerves before forcing himself back to sleep.

He got a 3 solid hours of sleep in around 7am and he woke up a little after 10am feeling a little more refreshed and he decided he should probably get ready for the day. He showered, and when he was about to put the gel in his hair he stopped himself, knowing that you really prefer his hair curly and he would do just about anything to see the smile on your face like last time when you started playing with his curls.

The clock was agonisingly slow all fucking day and it was slowly driving him insane. He kept himself busy by bothering his friends, not talking about his upcoming date with anyone but George, who knew exactly why Matty was bothering him today.

Eventually the clock hit 2 and Matty got himself ready. He decided on a suit and he was going to go one better than last time and wear a bow tie instead of a plain old boring tie. But as he was attempting to do it without his stylist Patricia’s help he was failing miserably.

After a 5 minute FaceTime with her, and him attempting about 10 times and still failing, she ended up telling him to stop stressing out and just wear it untied as it still looked good. And after much internal debate when the call ended he decided that she was right, he left it hanging around his neck undone with his top button undone too.

When his taxi arrived, he double checked he had his wallet, phone, and cigarettes before he locked up. He doesn’t even care if he’s forgotten anything, he just can’t wait to see you again.

The drive feels like it takes forever, but he doesn’t care because with each passing second he’s getting closer to you. He’s really thankful he had his PA phone up the restaurant too not long after he made the reservation to ask if there was any chance the two of you could have a semi private table, and thankfully they agreed.

He doesn’t want any distractions from you today, and he’s aware you both can get recognized while out on this date so for both your peace of mind he was glad you could get a private space to enjoy each other’s company.

When he gets there, he just can't seem to stand still but he forces himself to lean against a column outside as he mindlessly scrolls through his phone to pass the time. It’s only a few minutes left until 4:30 so he knows you’ll be arriving soon and if he doesn’t distract himself then he’ll go mad over how slow time seems to be going.

Looking at the time on his phone again has him even more nervous, because it’s now eight minutes over your agreed time so his brain has him thinking of the scenario you promised him earlier wouldn’t happen.

And he knows he should trust your words but the excitement is slowly turning into anxiety and it’s not a pleasant feeling that’s gathering at the pit of his stomach.

Matty lights up a cigarette in hopes of helping him settle down a bit, and it works but not as much as a text of your coming through does.

He sighs in relief when he reads, I’m so sorry, I fully didn’t intend on being late but I’m stuck in traffic. I’m on my way xx

Taking a drag of his cigarette, he smiles to himself just from picturing you all stunning in the backseat of a taxi on your way to meeting him. Suddenly his anxiety turns into excitement again and he just wants everyone to move over so you can rush through the streets and make it to him faster.

Just imagining how you might be in the same position as him, he sends you a reassuring, It’s okay baby, I’ll be here waiting for you xx and when you get it, you feel your soul coming back to your body.

It’s not like he’d just up and leave for you being a few minutes late but there’s that constant thought in the back of your mind that loves to remind you how the whole situation is too good to be true and considering how things have gone for you in the past, your insecurities can get the best of you.

But just that one text has calmed you down and now you’re just squirming in your seat as your Uber slowly makes its way through the streets, stopping far more than you enjoy, and you’re painfully aware of every minute ticking by.

Every time the car has stopped in the past ten minutes, your heart has been going a bit faster and once the Uber driver hits the brakes again only one road away from the restaurant, you’re just completely done with it.

Your heart feels like it’s coming out of your chest when you open the door after you’ve told the driver that you’ll be getting out right there. You’d rather walk it than wait for everyone in front of you to move.

In a haste you make it out of the car right at the door of the Atlantic and you let out a shaky breath when you glance to your left and you can see the big letters of the Brixton House.

You swear you’ve not moved quicker in your life when you walk under the bridge and past a cafe, it’s just when you take a second to breathe right in front of the Brixton House that you see him waiting at the entrance of the restaurant, fiddling with his fingers and tapping his foot anxiously on the pavement.

You feel bad when you let out a giggle looking at him all nervous, you make sure your gaze stays on him as you walk a bit further just so you can stand directly in front of him across the street. And you just can’t help but admire all of him, curls perfectly untouched for you, dressed in a black suit and black dress shoes, an undone bowtie hanging around his neck, top button of his white shirt undone.

It’s a miracle you don’t melt right there and then when his eyes finally find yours and his whole face falls in such relief as he takes a deep breath and his hand comes over his chest. The biggest smile breaks on his face and you chuckle when you see him mouth a wow at you after giving you a full look.

Biting your bottom lip, you shrug as if it’s nothing to be amazed at and without wasting another second, you take advantage of the cars having stopped in traffic to cross the road and walk straight to him.

Automatically, your arms fly around his shoulders and his find their home around your waist, and the smell of his aftershave and cigarettes drowns you completely, making your head spin. It’s right then when it fully sinks in just how much you’ve missed him and your heart just grows in your chest when he clutches you a bit tighter to his chest.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing you say, you hate knowing you’re about 15 minutes late and that he’s definitely been overwhelmed by that nagging feeling when somebody stands you up. “I truly didn’t mean to.”

Your voice sounds so incredibly worried so he gives you a little squeeze and jokes to help you relax, “It's actually terrible, and you were the one to call me out on our first date for being late. Don’t you only live ten minutes away from here?”

Chuckling into his neck, you poke his ribs to get back at him, making him jump in your arms at the sudden attack.

You take a deep breath, loosening your grip around him and he does the same so you both lean back to look at one another with your hands still on each other. “I know, I know,” You start, your hands going from his shoulders to cup his jaw and rub circles on his cheeks, “And I feel terrible.”

Matty feels like he’s putty in your hands, you make him feel so warm inside, he finds himself just wanting more of your touch. “I’m hurt.” He adds with a pout, playfully only because he wants his joke to keep going so he can give it to you like you gave it to him on your first date.

You pout back at him, continuing with your soft touches on his skin. “I’m so sorry, it’s been a nightmare.” You love the stubble he has going on right now, he just looks so good you can’t help letting your eyes wander all over his face now that you have him in front of you again.

“Do you have an excuse?” He jokingly challenges you to say something.

You look at him with pursed lips since your only excuse is exactly the one he gave you all those moons ago, “The traffic was terrible.”

“Always traffic.” He rolls his eyes and scoffs, his dramatic reaction makes you giggle and it takes only that sound to make him smile at you, “You can just admit you weren’t ready, you know?” He points out with raised eyebrows, still trying to appear serious but his elation to having you with him again has him completely failing as it just shines through his face.

You sigh, knowing that he’s joking about it all but you still feel the need to explain yourself. “Okay, god honest truth: I started getting ready at half twelve, was ready around two, but I just didn’t put my outfit on until three, so I didn’t ruin it by lounging about in it.”

You play back the day in your head and you’re almost wincing when you continue, “I was ready to leave at quarter past three but I didn’t want to be an hour early so I made myself wait, then no Uber would connect - should’ve thought about that in advance, taxis on New Years and all - then the driver couldn’t find my flat somehow and then there was just so much traffic, so here we are now.”

Sighing, you let your hands drop in front of you and start fiddling with your fingers before you add, “If I could go back, I would've set off an hour in advance, I’m sorry.”

“Okay, take a breath.” Matty’s hands are still on your waist so he pulls you in to leave a kiss on your temple, “It’s fine, baby. Let’s go inside, yeah?” He pulls back to look at you and seeing the way your face lights up has him grinning brightly.

He takes a hold of your hand and intertwines your fingers to make your way into the restaurant. It doesn’t take more than a minute for someone to check your reservation and then walk you over to where you’re gonna be seated.

What has you surprised is the fact that the hostess walks you through the restaurant and takes you away from the crowd of people in the main area, you’re actually guided through wooden doors that have a small privé written in gold in the middle of it and behind the doors, there’s only a few people in the few tables that are scattered around the room.

It’s much fewer people compared to the main area, and you notice the tables are much far apart with pieces of furniture and wine displays in between so the chatter is quiet in the background but you’re not awkwardly alone in the restaurant.

The hostess points you to your table and you almost coo at the sight of the little candles in the middle of it. She asks you which drinks you’re having and after Matty replies with some kind of wine, he drags the chair out for you to sit.

You take your blazer off your shoulders first and hang it on the back of the chair, “Private table and all?” Your eyebrows are raised and there’s a smirk on your face as you sit and you watch him take his own seat in front of you, “Blowing me away already, Mr. Healy.”

He chuckles at your words and smirks right back at you, “Just wait until I blow you away later.”

You press your lips together in surprise, trying not to smile at hearing his antics in person and not through the screen or reading them on texts, “Starting that early, are we?”

His hand goes over the table to reach yours, softly holding it and giving it a tiny squeeze to say, “We started that days ago, baby.” and finishing off with a cheeky wink that has you biting your tongue not to react.

You’re honestly not sure how you’ll survive this date knowing how he can get and just how much every single one of his comments affect you.

You play dumb, shrugging your shoulders as you say, “I wonder who started it.”

Your words die in your mouth when he looks firmly into your eyes and replies, “You did. In your room, the night before you left.”

A few seconds of silence pass as you look at him with your mouth slightly open and he’s loving it, you can see it in the way his smirk just doesn’t seem to want to leave his face so you narrow your eyes at him as if that will do anything.

It only makes him laugh and you are about to complain about him taking the piss out of you when he lifts your hand up to give it a small kiss and then softly brings it back down on the table and starts rubbing little circles on the back of your hand.

Your eyes fall to your hands and then back up at him, you find him already giving you the sweetest smile and it makes you want to hide behind your free hand.

And he only makes it worse when he is fully silent for a little bit and all that you can see in his face is adoration as he stares at you. His eyes go from your face to what you’re wearing and he does it once more before you call him out on it.

“It’s rude to stare.” You’re smirking at him, but inside you’re just screaming at the way he’s making you feel under his burning gaze.

Your whole body feels like it’s on fire when he replies, “Sorry, just can’t stop looking at you. You look stunning baby, so beautiful.”

Trying to change it back to him, you compliment him too, “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

But it’s a failed mission for him to stop looking at every inch of you because he’s giving you another look and taking a deep breath as if you’ve just stolen all of his oxygen by just being there.

He can’t even comment on the black ribbon you have tied in a bow around your neck like a choker. His thoughts went into the gutter straight away when he saw that additional piece. Not to mention the leather, again.

“I mean…” He tries to gather his thoughts but he just can’t really be coherent, “And the leather pants too? Are you trying to kill me?”

You get a little shy then, having to look away for a second and you let a few giggles escape your lips since you can still feel his eyes on you.

“Well maybe I did it on purpose.” You play, barely able to look back at him.

Matty can only smile seeing you get this flustered in front of him, and he can’t believe he’s got you finally in front of him. “I’ll die a happy death then.”

You close your eyes, unable to look at him and not squeal. It makes you shake your head, the chokehold he has you on, and when you do it, you can hear him chuckle.

“What?” He asks, amused at your actions.

“Nothing.” You reply, gathering yourself and slowly opening your eyes but they quickly move to the door the staff seemed to go through, “Where’s that wine when I need it?”

It seems like you’re saved by the bell when a waiter comes through the door with the bottle Matty asked for and a corkscrew in his free hand. Your glass is the first to be poured and you say a small thank you as you watch Matty’s glass fill too. The waiter asks you both if you’ve had a nice day and your heart feels like it's about to burst when Matty says, “It's a lot better now.” and he looks over at you.

At this point, you just know that your cheeks are going to be burning for this whole meal. There’s no doubt your feelings are written all over your face, so you just pray he takes some pity on you and you’re not sitting in your flustered embarrassment on this date.

Both you and Matty discuss the food for a little while, both saying how good everything sounds before you eventually settle on what you’re having. After you both order your food when the waiter comes back over, your eyes end up on your hands that are now interlocked across the table and Matty keeps subtly running his thumb over your skin.

It baffles you for a second how you didn’t even notice the both of you were sitting like that when the waiter was taking your orders. You’re not used to any public displays of affection really anymore, but the way this all feels so natural to you right now is really heart warming.

There's that little seed of self sabotage that has you wanting to pull your hand away from his once you realise, but you push that to the back of your mind and let yourself be happy.

Giving his hand a squeeze, you start saying, “Can you believe it’s finally New Years Eve? We’re finally here?”

“It’s about time.” There’s absolutely nothing that can wipe the smiles off your faces, and you’re quite sure no one would be able to properly say who has the biggest grin on their face.

“I feel like I’ve been waiting ages.” You admit truthfully, still pinching yourself over the fact that the day has finally come and you’re sat across from him.

Matty hums in agreement, continuing to make his touch known on the back of your hand. “Was it just me that thought this past week dragged on?”

“No, it really did.” You nod as you also have thought the same thing, like it was a poor joke made by high powers.

“I feel like Christmas was about a month ago.” Matty chuckles, and it makes you remember what you have in your bag for him.

“Oh,” You sit up a little straighter, and you very reluctantly let go of Matty’s hand so you can get your bag, “I have something for you.”

He’s a bit taken aback, scolding himself for not bringing anything to give you on the date, “Oh no, what is it?”

But he breathes a bit better when you say, “Your belated Christmas present.”

The way you’re looking at him with glimmery eyes full of anticipation has him cooing at you internally, but he’s quick to remind you of his words in the past days when you’d mentioned this very situation happening, “Baby, I told you not to get me anything.”

“Yeah okay, I get that,” You hold your hands up a little in surrender but carry on regardless, “But these really screamed you and when I saw them I couldn’t not get them for you. They’re just a bit of fun, okay? Don’t tell me off.”

You hand him the little box that’s wrapped in red and white striped paper and when he gets it, he holds it to his chest, “You really didn’t have to.”

Scrunching your nose at him because you just think he’s so cute, you assure him it’s really not a problem, “It's still not enough but I’ll make up for it with your birthday.”

“Planning on sticking with me for that long?” Matty makes it seem like he’s all jokes about it, like it’s just teasing but the prospect of you actually wanting to stay for long has his heart beating out of his chest.

You get a bit shy when you know what you suggested means, so hiding a bit into yourself you answer with a question, “If you want me to?”

He settles you rather fast when he winks at you as he says, “As long as you want to, baby.”

You shyly nod the tiniest bit before you look at the unopened present in his hands and tell him, “Come on, open it. I want to see your reactions.”

His fingers swiftly pick at the tape that’s holding the paper together and once he takes it all off, he’s met with a little box of lighters which he can see have little messages written on them and just giving them a quick glance, he’s already smiling to himself.

“Oh, these are fun.”

Matty can’t help but grin seeing what all of these lighters say. Theres five in this pack you’ve got him, and they say, Fuck your nudes send me fitpics, I wonder if life smokes after it fucks me, and, Ash is our purest form. He can’t help but think, Come on baby light my fire, is very fitting but Matty’s ultimate favourite says, If you wanna fuck smile when you give me the lighter back.

“Do you like them?” You can’t help but ask.

Matty nods, glancing at you before looking back to the lighters, “I really do.”

You then watch your date take them out of the box they came in, and he tests one quickly, something that's just as common as writing your name first when you get a new pen, and he smiles when they work. And you’re glad they do.

But then Matty passes you one with his grin getting bigger and you don’t even have to look at it to know that its the one about smiling if you want to fuck. And whilst you do, you’d like to have this date first.

“No,” You shake your head, trying your best not to laugh at him, “Not right now.”

Matty can’t help but laugh at you trying to keep the grin off your face as you hand it back to him. He pretends he’s innocent when he asks, “Why?”

He doesn’t want to take it back from you, but you’re insistent when you offer it back to him, “It doesn’t count if you do it right now.”

Matty frowns a little at that, not taking it back from you just yet. Instead, he cackles, “Since when does this have rules?”

“Since I just established them.” You raise your eyebrows at him and hold it out to him.

Matty’s frown persists, “That’s unfair.”

“You’re not allowed until later.” You shake your head, trying not to laugh at this but you’re almost failing miserably.

“How much later are we talking?” Matty asks curiously with a cheeky smile on his lips as he takes the lighter off you.

“You’re insufferable.” You laugh a little as you shake your head.

Instead of letting that be it though, Matty grabs your hand and intertwines your fingers across the table again and as he does, he raises his eyebrows and grins, “Oh am I? Tell me more.”

“How does everything manage to fuel your ego?” You sigh, not stopping the smile from taking over your face.

You absolutely adore the way he instantly starts caressing your hand.

“You should know this by now baby.” Matty smiles, and hearing the nickname he has for you again makes your heart leap.

“Right.” You nod, knowing you should. But you try to warn him off making this date too overwhelming for you, “Remember, I know many other things… So stop teasing.”

Matty knows that you’re alluding to your pictures that he likes, but he can’t help trying to make you go all embarrassed. He lets his eyes glance down to what you’re wearing again before they run back up to your gorgeous eyes, and he cheekily grins, “Don’t need your Instagram when you look like this in front of me.”

You use your free hand to rub your eyes, taking a second for a deep breath before you look back up at him. His grin is huge but you're trying to be serious when you tell him off, “Stop because I’ll combust before the starters even come out.”

“That quick?” Matty chuckles.

You bite your tongue before raising your eyebrows to warn him, “I’ll make sure to remember that later.” and both of you start laughing.

When the starters arrive, you and Matty chat about your Christmases and your families. Discussing where the both of you fit into your family dynamics is quite funny, and the way Matty describes what his family is like and how he talks about them makes your heart warm.

Matty loves hearing your stories though. Your various anecdotes about this Christmas and ones earlier in your life have him giggling and it makes him long to make memories with you.

He also loves the way you talk about Amelia. It really seems like you value her just as much as he does the boys, and the love you both have for your friends is nothing but a green flag.

After your plates are taken away, you end up talking a bit about his US tour as he had a few more funny anecdotes he hadn’t told you yet. You have your questions for him, and Matty answers them all honestly with a smile on his face, he can’t help but find it cute how curious you are, not just for the stories but how you also check if he enjoyed what he was up to.

“You know what I think is a crime?” You ask just after a question about his tour, so Matty can’t help chuckle at the complete switch in direction of the conversation.

He asks, “What?”

“That you don’t sing This Must Be My Dream live.” You call him out on it because it’s something you think needs to be addressed, for your sake and everyone else who wants to hear it.

Matty bursts out laughing at that, making you start giggling as well as his laugh is just one of pure and utter joy. You could honestly listen to it forever.

When he calms down, he asks, “Is that your favourite?”

“Maybe on that album, but don't distract me,” You smile but shake your head, not letting him change the subject, “I want you to play it on the UK tour. Preferably a day I'm in the crowd.”

Matty chuckles at that, expecting nothing less. And despite the fact it’s not going to happen, he double checks, “London, Manchester, and Newcastle, right?”

This makes you grin, finally having the upperhand with something to tease him with for a second, “And you say I'm obsessed with you? You’ve remembered all the dates I’m coming to.”

And you take a successful sip of your wine as a mini celebration for getting that in there. Matty loves the smug look you give him, but he can’t help but ruin it and bring it back around on you.

“You say that like you haven't paid to see me perform.” Matty chuckles, taking a sip of his own wine before continuing, “Which you don’t need to do… You can sell the tickets or gift them to someone if you want. I’ll put you on the guestlist.”

“Damn,” You can’t help but grin hearing that, “This must be going well if I'm already guestlist approved.”

And you really think it is going well. There’s never been a moment of silence between you other than when you’re taking a second to compose yourself after he’s just been overly flirty with you. And even then it's both of you trying not to laugh at your reactions. You love how this date is going, and you’re pleased Matty thinks so too.

“Of course.” Matty nods, reaching over the table for your hand again which you happily give him.

It really reminds you of that bit on your first date where he said ‘we’re all a bit needy’ and you really relate to that especially today. You’re glad he wants to touch you, it feels so much nicer than any other date that you’ve been on in the past.

You feel genuinely wanted by him. And that in itself makes your heart beat so much faster for him.

Matty decides to allude to something interesting that he knows you don’t know about yet. “And those shows are going to be interesting ones anyway.”

Your eyes somehow get brighter when they go wide. You have to ask, “In what way?”

“I can’t spoil the surprise,” Matty shakes his head, his curls almost going in his eyes as he does, but he’s not giving you anything. “It’ll give you something to look forward to.”

You smile, “More like it gives me incentive to come home from LA.”

“Yeah.” Matty nods.

That certainly played a little part in why he didn't want to tell you anything. Because he genuinely wants you around him for as long as possible and using your love for the band could ensure that. But mostly because he really wanted it to be a nice surprise for you.

Even though he would have you backstage beforehand, so you’d probably end up guessing the surprise. But still, the thought of you even being there backstage fills Matty with so much joy he can imagine himself trying to keep you around for as long as possible.

“I can’t believe you’re not going to tell me more.” You press your lips together and look down pretending to be hurt by it.

Matty chuckles at that, and he gives your hand a squeeze before admitting, “I like to keep you guessing.”

“Yeah,” You nod, giggling a little knowing that he really does. “So is Belfast going to be special because I’m bringing Amelia along for that one for her birthday, don’t forget.”

Your date chuckles but nods, “I’m sure we can make it special in a different way to the rest.”

Cheekily, you hope, “By playing This Must Be My Dream?”

“No.” Matty shakes his head.

You push on, “Antichrist then?”

“Woman, I will-” Matty starts warning you but you interrupt him.

“You can play Woman, that's a great song.” You fire straight back, keeping your face neutral as you add, “Entirely fine by me.”

“You know,” Matty grins, “That's the first time since our chicken shop date that you’ve gone back into your character.”

And when he points it out, you realise that you have. You drop the harder expression and let yourself smile.

“Sorry,” You shake your head a little, looking down embarrassed as you didn’t even notice,  “Sometimes I just slip into i-”

“Don’t apologise, it's what drew me to you in the first place.” Matty gives your hand a small squeeze, and when you look back up at him you see his big grin as he continues, “It just so happens I really like the way you can’t maintain that around me. I like seeing you flustered too much.”

“You can’t let me just have this date where it's just cute?” You narrow your eyes like you’re scolding him for it but your features soften when he gives you a little giggle in response.

Shaking his head and smirking at you, he replies, “No, I really love making you a hot mess.” And you’re about to scoff when he adds, “Emphasis on hot.” giving you another evident glace up and down.

He can tell that the sarcastic, “Right, thanks.” you let out is only a facade for your cheeks heat up and you purse your lips to try and not give him a reaction.

But he wants to break you, to see you flustered once more because he actually loves seeing the effect of his words shining through you and he’s sure he’d never get tired of it. “Though I would love to make an actual mess of you.”

Matty makes a subtle show of licking his lips and biting his bottom lip with his eyes stuck on yours. It all just makes you hold your breath and when you realise you’re doing that, he sees the way you let out a shaky breath only to take a deep one right away.

“You need to be stopped, we are in public. Quit the teasing.” You manage to say through your teeth, rolling your eyes but still giving him a little smirk.  

Your thoughts were already going crazy and he doesn’t help at all, not when he looks like that, when he smirks at you like that and especially not when he says, “You don’t know the half of it baby. I’ll have you begging soon and that’ll only be the start.”

That comment only adds to all that’s running through your head and seeing the scenario playing inside your mind has your mouth opening agape as you let out a scoff. He’s the biggest menace but you secretly love the way your insides knot and feel like they’re burning up at his words and under his gaze.

The mains arrive a few minutes after and you thankfully manage to pick your jaw up off the ground. Both of you have a normal, none teasing, conversation whilst you're eating, between moaning at how good the food is.

Enjoying yourselves so much, you even do the cheesy ‘wanna taste of mine’ and after some raised suggestive eyebrows, you do end up sharing a fork full of your different mains.

There’s a nice ambiance to the restaurant and it’s all very pretty. There are a few other slightly bigger tables across the other side of the room that gives the place a nice atmosphere, but you’re thankful you still have your privacy as there are serving stations in between you.

You talk all about what’s coming for you both next year, the continuation of the ‘At Their Very Best’ tour has both of you excited and you share the same excitement when you tell him all about the content you’re getting at the very start of the year.

You’re booked and busy. Golden Globes, the Brit Awards, your and Amelia’s Valentines Day party, recording multiple ads with different brands and various events during London Fashion Week.

It’s all very surreal to you so you ramble a little about the ideas you have to record in those events and when you mention your TikTok soon being filled to the brim with funny bits, he very quickly remembers his favourite videos you’ve posted both there and on your Instagram.

“Your latest reel made me laugh.” Matty grins, remembering it fondly.

He found your videos on Instagram and TikTok quite amusing and he found them not long after the NME Awards where you first met.

Despite being best friends, you and Amelia were quite different, especially when it came to your personal social media output. Amelia tends to keep up with the new music trends and the viral dances that come with it, and you take a very different approach to your best friend.

You’ve become known for taking the piss out of Amelia learning and practising those dances and then the camera flicks to you and of you trying and failing not to laugh. It started off with you having enough of whatever the new song was as you were forced to listen to it on repeat as she tried to learn the dances.

It left you bored or completely over it and when the camera flicked back to you from your best friend, people found it hilarious. Matty found it hilarious. And your last video could quite possibly be his favourite.

“Oh,” You chuckle at the memory, “The one where she stopped and told me off?”

Matty nods, already giggling as he remembers it, “When she threw that pillow at you, I laughed so loud.”

Your eyes go wide and you pretend you’re hurt, “Wow.”

“It was how shocked you were about it.” Matty giggles, replaying it in his mind as he grins at you, “And then you threw it back when she was dancing again and she fucking went for you and the video cut out. It was brilliant, something I would do to Hann.”

“I’m glad you find them amusing.” You smile, “Most of the time it’s the only way I can get through the time where we’re stuck together and she starts making the videos. It's the song playing over on repeat when I forget to bring my AirPods with me that kills me off. Rookie mistake on my part.”

Matty chuckles, “You never want to get up and do it with her?”

Instantly, you shake your head, “Not to shit songs like the ones that go viral.”

He frowns at you, knowing one of his songs has been quite popular in that app, “You calling About You shit?”

It’s a wonder why he even asked that when he has seen just how much you love that song.

“Clearly not, but you didn’t make a shitty dance to that song, did you?” You raise your eyebrows to make him understand your point.

He shrugs softly, understanding what you mean, “No, just to Oh Caroline.”

You scoff out a laugh, not believing he’s just said that. “That dance is far from shit.”

“You’d dance to that one then?” His eyebrow raises as if he’s challenging you to say yes.

“Yeah and I have.” You easily admit, you loved that dance so much so it hadn’t been a burden learning it.

“What?” He asks all smiles, trying to picture you dancing to it.

And you smile back at him as you explain, “Amelia asked me to learn it with her. And because I like the song, I reluctantly agreed.”

Matty loves this new piece of information so he fully states, “Now you’ve got to do the dance with me.”

But you quickly turn him down because you know you’d get so nervous dancing it with him that you’d end up messing up, and he also was a good dancer so you knew you weren’t going to live up to his expectations. “I’ll save myself the embarrassment and stick to dancing with Amelia.”

He pouts exaggeratedly, doing his best puppy eyes at you, “Who am I gonna dance with then?”

You only give him a fake pout back, sarcasm in every word you say next, “I’m sure you’ll manage to find someone, you always do.”

In a fraction of a second, his expression switches to a shit-eating grin and he takes your comment as an opportunity to tease you, “Is that a little green I see in your eyes?” His eyes narrow like that’s gonna make you admit you’re jealous.

“No.” You reply meekly, cutting his advances to get another reaction from you.

He’s not quite done yet though, so he brings back a moment to refresh your memory, “Remember when you kissed Amelia and put it on Instagram because you were jealous?”

“Oh yeah,” You nod, and after you’ve taken a sip of your wine, you fire right back at him, “Remember when you did the same when you kissed Ross the night after?”

Matty just smirks, “Bet you were jealous of that too.”

“Jealous of you, yeah.” You nod, knowing just how much it subtly enrages him.

Matty scoffs, “We’re on a date.”

You raise your eyebrows, challenging him, “And you’re bringing up me being jealous.”

“I like to tease you.” He reminds you with a cheeky smile, really trying to act like he’s all innocent and doesn’t have any other intentions.

“Yeah I know you do.” You giggle a bit and shake your head, fighting a smile breaking out on your face. “Trying to make me go crazy before the day is done.”

He loves how you’re trying to scold him for it but you’re failing miserably at keeping a stoic expression, so he points out the truth that’s written all over your face, “You love it really.”

“Mhhh.” You hum, not giving him an answer. “I think you love doing it just as much.”

“Oh definitely,” He assures with an enthusiastic nod of his head, “I’m dying to get my hands on you.”

You let out a chuckle at his bluntness, “I bet you are.” You say it in a way that seems uninterested but he knows you’re forcing it so he can’t fully see it on your face that you want it too.

“You act like you’re not thinking the exact same.” Matty calls you out straight away, “Or do I need to remind you of your texts?”

You bite your tongue and stay silent for a long couple of seconds before you can finally admit why you’re holding back. “Maybe I’d agree if we weren’t in public and you’re not trying to tease.”

He makes sure to joke about so that you get a bit more comfortable but completely understanding where you’re coming from. “You knew what you were getting into when you agreed to the date.”

“Maybe I just can’t refuse a date when one is offered?” You offer as a reason even though you’ve never been more thankful to be sitting across from someone.

Rolling his eyes playfully, he asks with sudden curiosity sparking, “Has there been any other dates with anyone you’ve been on your chicken shop dates with that you wanted a second date with?”

“Oh yeah, loads of people.” You nod enthusiastically, “Me and Amelia talk about them all the time.”

Only letting out a small, “Oh.” he keeps quiet to encourage you to continue and he’s actually intrigued now because of how fast your answer was.

Making a rundown through the memories of your chats with Amelia about this exact topic, you take a small breath before starting your list. “So I want a second date with Yungblud.”

Matty pulls a face at that name, and “Why?” immediately falls from his lips.

But you ignore him and just continue name dropping, “And I want my one with Charli… And I guess KSI, Jade from Little Mix, Bimini was a fave, Finneas too.” And the more names you list, the further Matty’s face falls. “I’m doing one with Kehlani too and I’m excited for that, and I would so go out with Phoebe again. I thought me and her made a great couple.”

“Okay,” Matty raises his finger to stop you for a moment and he says, “I thought you were just going to say one, not list your phone book.”

“Aw, are we getting a little jealous?” You pout, teasing him.

He doesn’t let a single second go by when he replies with a stern “No.”

“Oh,” You grin, knowing you have the upper hand now, “I think you are.”

When you don’t get one word from him, only that blank stare of his, you take it a bit further, “You wanna be my one and only Matty?”

It certainly reaches his ears in such a teasing tone but he genuinely answers it with, “Yeah, I do.”

That makes you melt inside, seeing the soft smile that tugs at the corner of his lips when you just keep looking at him has you needing to reassure him of it all now and remind him just how special this whole situation with him really is.

“Well I haven’t been on a second date with anyone else.” You start, your eyes solely focused on him and a growing grin on your face, “Only ever had one in my flat.” Your hand reaches out to grab his and when you do, you squeeze it as you say, “Only one has slept in my bed.”

A few beats of silence pass, both of you are stuck staring at each other and the touch of your skin setting both of you up alive. Matty licks his lips and replies, “Lucky them.”

If he wasn’t so focused on every one of your movements, he could’ve missed the little shake of your head you give him before correcting him, “Lucky you.”

You fill up with pride when you see his cheeks get a little pink and he breaks eye contact, getting too flustered under your gaze, so you take the opportunity to tease him. “Jealousy looks good on you.”

And this becomes yet again one of those instances you are reminded to not mess with him because he knows just what to say back so your teasing ends up biting you back, “You know what else would look good on me?”

“What?” You naively inquire back.

“You.” He simply responds, “Preferably with nothing on, riding me how you were going to the other night.”

He can feel the way you freeze across from him, even your breath getting caught in your throat and it’s like you have forgotten how to function after that. So to make it even worse for you, and for him to get an even better reaction, he continues to run his dirty mouth.

“Or would you prefer me on top of you?” Matty leans closer so he can drop his voice and ask you in a low voice, “Your legs wrapped tight around my waist, I can kiss and tease that pretty neck of yours until you're begging for me to put my hands to better use than holding yours above your head.”

Matty’s lip twitches up into the beginning of a smirk when he sees the way that has affected you. He can’t help but ask, “You like that baby?”

You nod aimlessly, you’re looking straight at him but you’re not really processing him. Instead you’re picturing that exact scenario he’s describing in your head and how desperate you actually are for it.

And you’re lost for what feels like a long few minutes when in reality it’s ten seconds of barely breathing as you repeat his words in your head and love the feeling of him still gently caressing your skin from across the table as if he’s not just talked about fucking you into a mattress.

But it’s like you’re jolted out of that fantasy when the waiter comes back over and politely asks, “Would you like to order any desserts?”

Matty glances at you, prompting you to speak first as if he hasn't just given you a mini stroke.

“I-” You stutter as you look from Matty down to your menu, but nothing sounds as good as what you were just offered. So you pick up the piece of paper and hand it back to the waiter with a small smile, “I’m good, thank you.”

“You sure?” Matty double checks, not wanting this date to be over just yet.

“Yeah.” You nod, and Matty realises exactly why you’ve declined when you add, “Might have something at home later.”

So without question, Matty agrees and does the same thing.

“I'm also alright, thank you.” He hands the menu back and with the mutual understanding that has just passed between you in just that glance, Matty asks, “Can we have the bill please?”

“Course.” The waiter nods and wonders back off over to the bar.

Matty is pulling his wallet out of his inside blazer pocket when he catches you lifting your bag up and he knows what you’re about to do so he instantly stops you, “Put your bag down.”

“But I-”

“No,” Matty interrupts, being serious when he says, “I asked you out, I’m paying.”

“Okay then,” You agree, because if you don’t you’ll argue over it for hours. Instead, you tell him, “But I’m paying next time.”

Matty’s grin is instant. He raises his eyebrows at you, smirking slightly, “Next time?”

You hum a little, and you play on it a little, “Depending on how your performance tonight goes, I reckon I’d go out with you again.”

As if you wouldn’t feel like the luckiest woman alive to go on another date with him.

“Okay,” Matty stands up, “He’s not fast enough, I’m going to go pay.”

You can’t help the laugh that falls from your lips, along with, “Eager much?”

Matty leans down and whispers, “For you, very.” before he very quickly presses a kiss to your neck and he walks off over to the bar to pay.

You take a minute to control the way your cheeks start burning, and you look down to compose yourself as you take a deep breath.

Your mind is echoing with a chorus of what the fuck? and the pure disbelief seems to be stuck with you and not wanting to leave. It’s a weird feeling that overcomes you as you are impatient and time seems to be going far too slow now but, at the same time, you’re feeling like there’s not enough time for you to get your wits about.

When Matty comes back over, you’ve just put your blazer back on and he takes your hand and helps you stand. He then grabs his blazer and puts it on, making sure your presents are still in his pocket before he intertwines your fingers and you both make your way out.

As you leave, you both thank the waiter for serving you and they wish you both a happy new year and you say the same back. When you get outside, it's no surprise to you that Matty pulls out his pack of cigarettes, it's certainly been a few hours since he last had one.

It had started raining since you were last outside and it's still coming down now, but neither of you mind too much. Matty pulls you out into the rain again, which has you giggling because it's all too like the end of your first date.

“Remember when you told me to live a little and stand in the rain with you?” You giggle, wrapping your arms around his neck as the rain falls on you both.

“I remember getting you all wet, yeah.” Matty grins, his hands on your hips pulling you flush against him now you’re in your own company again. But of course, he has to keep you on your toes, he leans in and quietly says, “Believe I can do it again, bit better this time.”

You bite your lip and you scrunch your face up and look down so he can’t fully see how much he affects you. Inside you're silently screaming and you playfully push against his chest, but Matty keeps you close.

He giggles, not letting you go at all, and he teases, “I fucking love teasing you.”

“Yeah I know.” You shake your head, trying your best to keep some composure when you look back up at him.

Matty can’t help but laugh at your reaction, but then he notices the rain again and he starts moving the both of you back towards the side of the restaurant as the taxi he ordered clearly isn’t here yet, “Come on, let's get you out of the rain.”

“I-” You’re about to tell him that you don’t mind, that it’s just a bit of rain. But then Matty moves you against the wall of the restaurant and he stands flush against you, practically pushing you against the wall as he’s trying to shield you from the rain. A surprised, “Oh?” leaves your lips as you smirk at the entire situation.

Matty tries not to show how much he likes you reacting to him, this time he instead takes his cigarettes out of his blazer pocket and lights up his own before he offers you one, “Do you want a cig?”

You nod, “Please.” and he offers you the pack and lighter.

After you’ve lit it, the first drag somehow calms you down a little, and you both find yourselves subtly glancing at the other like you’re not practically pressed against each other and you’ve not just been on a date.

A minute passes that's filled with noises of traffic, the relief that smoking gives you, and longing looks at each other. But when the rain starts falling a little heavier and the wind picks up, it hits the side of your faces making you scrunch your features and laugh.

Both of you wipe the water away, and Matty takes a drag of his now nearly finished cigarettes saying, "You know what we really need right now?"

"Funnily enough, I do." You nod, remembering what you brought with you and Matty watches as you reach into your bag and pull out his umbrella that he gave you after your first date.

As Matty smiles at you, you hand it back as you remind him, "Promised you'd have it back for New Years." and he laughs and takes it from you.

“Why didn't you give it me a few minutes ago?” Matty asks, putting it up immediately and standing closer to you so he can cocoon you both against the wall and away from the rain. He tuts, “You let me get all wet."

"And give up you pressing me into a wall? I don’t think so." You grin as you raise your eyebrows at him, and his smirk has you wanting to melt right then and there.

Whilst the confidence is bubbling inside you, before you back out of it, you say what you’ve been thinking for your whole date. “You look good by the way.” You say as you take the last drag of your cigarette before you throw the stub to the ground.

“Thank you,” Matty smiles, standing a bit taller at the fact you approve of his attire. “I did dress for the occasion this time.”

“Mmmh,” You hum, trying not to smile as you pretend to scold him, “Couldn’t finish it off and do the tie for me though?”

Matty smiles at you taking a hold of either end of his undone bowtie then, but instead of teasing you, he admits as he takes another drag, “Not through the lack of trying.”

“Awh,” You coo, grinning at him in a way that makes his chest ache, “Did you make an effort for me?”

Matty nods, “I tried my best.”

You hum, your eyes going from his back down to his white shirt with the top button undone and the loose tie that you have a hold of. You want nothing more than to tug on it and pull him into a kiss, but you refrain for a moment more before you look back up at him just after you whisper loud enough for him to hear, “One less thing to take off you I guess.”

At that you feel his free hand grip on your waist that little bit tighter and when he sees you run your tongue over your lips, wetting them that little bit more that somehow makes them even more enticing, he’s seconds away from smashing his lips against yours. The only thing that stops him is the little, “Oh.” of realisation that you let out.

His eyes find yours again as you offer him back his lighter with a knowing smile and a, “Here you go.” And it’s when he takes it from you, you see the wave of realisation take over his face and he grins at you seeing that he had accidentally handed you the lighter that had ‘if you want to fuck smile when you hand me the lighter back’ on it. And you’re smile is fucking huge.

Pocketing the lighter, Matty looks back into your eyes and raises his eyebrows at you, like he’s checking your earlier rules. You just give him a cheeky smirk and eyebrow raise which screams that you’re very much on board with the idea.

“Please let me take you home.” Matty pleads as he presses you into the wall a little more, his hand finding your hip again wanting to hold you.

Trying your best to refrain from kissing him just a second longer, but you’re only human. All you can do is nod before you pull on both ends of his undone tie and his lips crash against yours.

You’ve waited so long to feel this again and the way your heart rapidly beats in your chest as he freely moans against your lips has your head spinning. He tastes like the red wine you’ve both just been drinking, and it makes you pull that bit more on his tie so he can’t escape you.

You feel Matty’s free hand move from your hip to cup your jaw, tilting it up and he holds you there firmly, not wanting this kiss to end. It’s been a long fucking week and he’s been dreaming of kissing you again, among other things.

Wishing time would stop for you is clearly not enough because after a long minute of giving into what you’ve both craved for so long, you’re interrupted. Both of you pull away when you hear Matty’s phone ringing, and there’s a buzz to you both. The air between you is charged and you don’t for a second think that is going to change until you get somewhere private.

“Taxi’s here,” Matty announces, and immediately he takes your hand and says, “Come on.”

You silently giggle and follow him to the car, and he protects you with the umbrella as you move instead of himself. You can’t stop smiling at the way he opens the door for you and you get in with a small embarrassed smile and a little shake of your head. But you shouldn't be surprised when he slides in next to you, making you sit in the middle.

As you’re putting your seatbelts on, the taxi driver greets you, asking how you are and once you both tell him that you’re good, he double checks the address you’re going to, but what surprises you is that he reads out your address that Matty must have already put into the app. You’re about to correct him, but the curly haired man beside you confirms and says, “Yeah, that's great mate. Thanks.”

And with that the driver is off, but you’re left to glance at Matty curiously, and when he meets your gaze, you ask him, “I thought we were going back to yours before George’s?”

“It's too far away.” Matty shakes his head before leaning closer to say a little quieter, “Think we’ve both waited long enough, don’t you?”

The look in both of your eyes screams sin. And something in you bubbles with nerves but overall excitement.

You nod, a little short of breath but you don’t think Matty notices that, but he does steal a quick but longing kiss before you part and try to calm yourselves down. And as your date starts politely conversing with the taxi driver, asking how long he’s on for tonight and if he minds how busy it's going to be, you have a quiet moment to yourself where you let your reality sink in.

You’re about to have sex with Matty Healy.

You should know that the curly haired man can’t stop his teasing for the journey back to yours. No, you’re sure he insists on being a tease to slowly drive you insane as to what's about to happen.

At first you think it’s nothing but him being touchy with you, him once again showing his affection towards you through simple touches to the top of your thigh. You half think its because he likes the tight leather pants you have on too, but it soon becomes clear what his intentions actually are when his fingers slip to the inside of your thigh.

Immediately, you hold your breath and you can’t not watch what he’s doing, as it somehow makes his touch even more agonising. The leather does nothing to minimise his touch, and when his fingers run along the seam of the pants you feel yourself go a bit dizzy.

If his touch feels this good now, you can’t imagine how intense it’s going to be when there is no restricting material between you. And you can’t fucking wait for it, but here in this taxi his touch feels a little dangerous, something the both of you know you shouldn’t be doing, but that somehow makes it even more exhilarating.

Matty can see the way you’re watching him, and he can’t help but smile as you’re doing absolutely nothing to stop him. He fucking loves the way he can see your breathing gets a little more laboured and he can practically hear the thoughts running around your mind because they are the exact same as his own.

When you’re a few minutes away, you can’t handle Matty’s teasing anymore, so instead you trap his hand on your thigh by crossing your legs, making it so he can’t move it anymore but he’s still holding you. The way you can feel his smirk when you do that, and you can feel it as if his stare alone is making your cheeks burn.

“Tease.” You mutter under your breath.

And you can hear his smile as he leans closer and whispers, “You’ve seen nothing yet baby.”

“Neither have you.” You try to maintain your strength.

“We’ll see.” Matty backchats.

You quietly hum in response to that but let your fingertips do the same that he was doing to the top of your thigh. You trace patterns near his knee, and from your peripherals you can see your date is about to say something, but because he’d already been so chatty, the driver asks him another question about your plans for the evening. As Matty is telling him about the party you’re going to later, you continue to tease, not letting him win like he was trying to.

As he gets a little more into the conversation, you move your fingers from running up and down the top of his thigh to the inside of it and you let them reach higher up his leg. You just about see his head whip around to look at you, but you ignore him and continue.

You move back down his thigh as the driver is talking, but as soon as Matty is chatting again, your back up near his crotch and you feel the hand on your thigh tighten, like he needs to hold something so he doesn’t completely fall apart at your teasing. But that’s how you know you’ve got him right in the palm of your hand, and whilst you still have some power left, you use it to your advantage.

Doing the same thing again, waiting this time until he’s just about done talking, you move your hand right up the inside of his thigh until you grab his crotch and keep pressure on it. You can feel how hard he’s getting beneath your palm and the sharp intake of breath as he stutters to the end of his sentence has you having to press your lips together and dip your head to maintain your innocence.

The driver must start talking again but neither of you pay attention to it as Matty’s lips are against your ear in a second and he whispers, “You’re playing a dangerous game baby.”

“Think you’re enjoying it.” You whisper back and you gently but firmly squeeze just to tease him that extra bit as the car pulls over and you’re finally back at your flat.

Rushed pleasantries are exchanged with the driver, all wishing each other a happy new year before you and Matty scramble out of the car. Matty even being a gentleman and grabbing your hand to help you out before thanking the driver again and shutting the door.

Walking up to your building, you stand at the door and try to unlock it as fast as you can, but you’re letting your pent up emotions get the better of you. And it gets worse when Matty comes to stand behind you, it just makes your flustered mind even worse.

You feel Matty’s hands on your hips, but the way he then presses himself against your arse and you can feel just how hard he is now he’s standing up has your mind sinking further and further into the gutter. “You’re such a fucking tease baby.” Matty says in a low voice, as he waits for you to open the door, and he leaves a teasing kiss on the back of your neck after he brushes your hair away.

“Get used to it.” You tell him, trying not to care if you think he can see your shaky hands, you unlock the door a few seconds later and the both of you head inside. Matty playfully slaps your arse as you both head up the stairs which has you both laughing as you practically race to your floor.

You’ve never been so thankful not to live too many floors up because you can feel the energy between you now and it’s electric. You need to be inside your flat, you need his hands on you, his lips on yours. You just need him.

Once inside your flat, both of you are on each other immediately. As soon as the door is shut and locked, Matty’s lips find your own and you’ve been pushed up against your door.

Groaning into the kiss, Matty can’t keep his hands to himself. One of his hands is quick to get a hold of your waist to keep you flush against him as if there was a way for you not to be, you’re trapped between your door and him so the feeling of his fingers clutching at you makes you even needier.

His other hand cups your jaw firmly, his thumb pressed on your cheek and it seems to stay there for a while, that is until he pushes his hips into yours and you can’t help the whimper falling from your lips. That ends up with his hand slowly going down and wrapping his fingers around your neck, applying a delicious pressure that has your head spinning.

The only thing going through your head now is how badly you need him closer, and if you weren’t so overcome with lust, you’d laugh at yourself since there’s really not more space between you but it certainly feels like he isn’t close enough.

Instead of tugging him closer by his tie, you decide to move things along and push his blazer back off his shoulders. Seeing where this is going, Matty lets the material fall from him and he pulls you towards him as he moves you both further into your flat.

Your hands are cupping his face, keeping him in the kiss, making it difficult when Matty starts to push your blazer off of you too. Letting one arm loose at a time, still clutching him with your other, you let him take the blazer off you as you both blindly stumble towards your bedroom.

Just after it hits the floor, you hear Matty kick your bedroom door open and you both can’t help but giggle at the loud thud and the door almost bouncing back and hitting you. Not letting that distract you though, you kiss him again this time walking him further back into your room towards your bed.

As soon as Matty feels the mattress behind his knees, he sits down on it, keeping you in the hot and needy kiss as you come to straddle him. Both you and Matty moan when he pulls your hips down onto his, and you’re overcome with sinful thoughts when you feel how hard he is.

Thankfully, this is the time and the place to let all of these fantasies become reality. Like you did last week, you push on Matty’s chest and he falls onto his back with a groan and you give yourself a second to smirk down at him.

Just to tease, as you lean down over him, you roll your hips on top of his causing a delightful friction between you that has you holding in a moan and Matty freely gasping before he clutches your hips so he can encourage you more.

One of your hands runs slowly down his chest and your fingers deftly undo the few buttons that were keeping his shirt closed. You leave a trail of fire on his skin as your fingertips ghost over every inch of his chest, and when you reach his We Are Kings tattoo, you make sure to give it a bit more attention.

Matty grows breathless, unable to continue kissing you and it just has you smirking, lips still hovering over his.

A shaky breath he takes encourages you to teasingly trace the band of his boxers that are peeking through the top of his pants. The way he throws his head back slightly and closes his eyes harder is then permanently engraved in your mind.

His mouth is further up now that he’s moved, so you leave a peck on his chin and start making your way down his neck, leaving open mouthed kisses in your wake. That is until you reach a spot at the bottom of his neck that has him shuddering when your lips find it, and after that reaction you can’t hold yourself back from encouraging more out of him.

Pride fills you completely when you get a string of soft moans as you lick and suck on the particular place on his neck and you’re certain you won’t let up on it until his fingers tangle in your hair and he lets out a choked, “Fuck baby, c’mere.”

The husky tone of his voice has you aching between your legs and you just can’t not obey when he sounds like that.

You see his blown out pupils for a fraction of a second when he’s pulled you back up to face him but then he’s crashing his lips against yours and it’s a hungry kiss, so desperate you know your lips will be swollen but somehow that notion only gets you going even more.

The whimper you let out as you kiss him has Matty knowing you’re enjoying yourself, but he wants more. Before he can even think about it though, you distract him again. Your hand finds home around his throat, tightening to keep him in the kiss you’re sharing and it makes Matty’s body feel like he’s being set alight.

You feel the vibration of the moan he lets out under your hand and it makes you smile in the kiss, breaking it from the immense satisfaction from both what you’re doing and his reactions.

But he’s desperate to keep his lips on yours so he doesn’t waste a second to kiss down your jaw, kissing every bit of your neck he can reach.

Your breathing becomes more agitated when he gives your neck attention, that combined with the incessant rocking of your hips has your senses going out of control.

Matty brings one of his hands up and, with every passing second, it gets closer to your chest. The moment he starts groping one of your breasts and pinches your nipple over your bralette, you let out a stuttering moan.

The sound only encourages him to continue and you’re enjoying it far too much, so much so that you have to think of a way to make him stop because you know that if he keeps it up then this isn’t going to last long. And you want to elongate this as much as you can – fuck wherever you need to be afterwards, you don’t care about being late right now.

So your hands clasp around his wrists and lift them up and over his head, fingers keeping his hands on the bed and away from being able to touch you.

His eyes narrow, like he’s challenging you to actually go through with your actions and since you have no plan on giving up on them, you smirk down at him feeling every bit of power having him under you at what seems completely your mercy.

The motion of your hips becomes more intently then, keeping the pace you had but being more mindful of every sway. Matty has a half mind to give you a bit of time to soak up the feeling of power but he grows impatient and even if he likes seeing you on top of him, taking it all into your hands, he’s been quite literally dreaming of having you unravel beneath him for so long and there’s no more time he can wait for it to happen.

In a swift movement, he manages to break free from your hold and wraps his arm around your waist to flip you both over. It’s like you’ve just blinked and you’re now under him. You would complain any other time but this is now happening and you’re not doing a thing to stop it.

“Okay, you’ve had your fun baby,” Matty grins, looking down at your shocked expression, “My turn.”

Your stomach fills with anticipation hearing that, and it’s like Matty knows because half a second later you’re trapped in a searing kiss. Your fingers instantly find his hair and you can’t stop yourself from tugging on it, wanting him as close as possible.

It’s difficult to keep track of time in moments like this. It could be a minute or it could be 15 that go by as Matty teases you. His hands start exploring your body as you're happily trapped kissing him.

With the hand that’s not keeping him propped up, he lets it travel down your side, his touch leaving a hot trail of goosebumps erupting on your skin. You moan when your breasts get some more attention, him teasing you through your bralette and the curly haired man can’t help but want to hear more of your sweet sounds.

When his lips begin to trail down your jaw and neck, his hand gets lower too, moving from your tits down to your arse where he takes a handful of it and he pulls you towards him. That has you moaning because his knee is pressed directly between your legs and the friction, along with his lips now attacking to top of your breasts, has you dazed in pleasure.

There’s no way you won’t have some bruises from the intensity at which he kisses and grabs you, but you wouldn’t change anything about the situation you’re in. And Matty can tell by the way you’re moaning and tugging on his hair encouraging him that you’re enjoying yourself.

Matty absolutely loves the way you don’t even try to hold back your pleasured whines as he teases your neck with kisses. The only place he misses is where that ribbon choker of yours is tied around your neck, he wants to keep that on as long as possible so he moves the longer ends to the other side of your neck.

It’s when his lips find yours again that you lose track of time. To be honest, you wish you could stop time and keep the both of you like this forever with your hearts racing, lips getting even more swollen from the intensity of your kisses. You’d die a happy woman, but after a while it gets to the point where you need more.

With him lent forwards over you, kissing you with just as much intensity as when you started, you keep on finding your hips bucking up into him as your clit is getting the friction from you moving against his thigh. And the whines that you’re letting out that Matty swallows when his lips are against your own have him getting harder at the sound.

You need more, and he wants to give you more. So he lets his hand trail back down your body until he teases you by tracing the waistband of your pants. Only then does Matty break your kiss so he can look at you when he quietly asks, “Can I take these off you, baby?”

A small whine escapes your lips and nodding eagerly, you reply, “Please.”

His fingers very quickly undo the button and tug the zip down, and when that’s done you make sure to lift your hips up so it’s easier for him to peel the pants off you but when he goes to do that, they don’t seem to want to move.

Matty tries once more but they don’t budge, you’re about to let out a cry of frustration but his giggles reach your ears and a smile appears on your face.

“Looks like we need to stand up for this.” He looks so amused by the situation, it certainly rubs off on you and you’re both trying to hold back your laughs as you stand up and go to try again.

“Fucks sake,” You are cursing under your breath, chest heaving as you both try to pull down your leather pants but struggling with them going past your hips. “Maybe leather pants weren't the best move.” You let out a giggle, wiggling your way out of them.

“Oh no they were.” Matty shakes his head, immediately disagreeing with your joke. “They are so worth the trouble baby.”

Once he manages to pull them down further, by the time it gets to your mid thigh, the pants end up falling down on their own and pooling around your ankles. Your heels are quickly toed off then, your pants going somewhere behind you along with the shoes.

You’re so ready to resume things when he adds, “Though I prefer you without them.” And that’s enough to earn him a laugh, but he’s serious and he lets you know despite letting out a little giggle to match yours. “Look at you.” He says with his hands on your hips, his gaze going up and down your figure and he’s completely taken aback by how fucking beautiful you look even when you seem to be getting a little shy.

But you’re standing there only in your bralette, your black lace underwear and your ribbon choker tied around your neck, and the singer cannot believe his luck. There’s nothing more he wants than you, in any way you’ll let him have you.

The way he’s looking at you makes you so warm inside, feeling entirely comfortable with him despite what should have been a really awkward moment, he made it feel normal and made you feel safe with him. You cup both of his cheeks when you lean in to kiss him again and Matty’s hands wrap around your waist, pulling you back into him.

You direct him back to the bed, and Matty sits back on the side of it and you don’t hesitate to straddle him again. Matty has no issues with this at all, he takes full advantage of the situation and his hands grab your arse, squeezing it as he kisses you making you chuckle into your kiss.

As intensity builds between you again, Matty feels you lean forward into him clearly trying to encourage him to fall backwards, but he’s not having that. Instead he uses his grip that he has of you to quickly stand up with you in his arms before he moves the both of you properly onto your bed, with you beneath him how he wants.

“Nice try baby.” Matty shakes his head, and you giggle before he captures your lips again with his.

The both of you settle yourselves and you’re kissing for a while when Matty’s hips start grinding into yours and with how hard he is, your mind is reeling. You need more. And with your broken whines that he silences, Matty knows what you’re after already so he lets his hands trail down your body again.

When his finger hooks into the top of your underwear, you know what he's about to ask, so instead of him having to, you nod into your kiss and give an encouraging tug on his curls.

You thought he was going to pull them off you, but instead Matty trails his fingers down the line where your underwear meets the top of your thigh down to where you’re aching for him. He can feel how wet you are through the lace and it makes him groan into your kiss. But the way you gasp when he moves your underwear to the side and his fingers finally make contact with where you’re throbbing for him has you choking on air.

The teasing circles Matty starts leaving on your clit makes you break your kiss and you moan into your bedroom. Your reaction has the curly haired man smirking, fucking loving the way you react to him.

Matty kisses your neck when he lets his fingers tease your entrance, and the way you moan loudly when his fingers dip inside you has Matty having to bite his tongue so he doesn’t cum his pants there and then. You sound fucking heavenly and the fact Matty is drawing those sounds from you has him desperate to hear more.

Before he lets you get fully used to the sensation, he draws his fingers back up bringing your wetness up to your clit so he can carry on teasing you. This time he adds more pressure and with the way he sees your hips moving against his digits, he takes it as a cue to let you get yourself off on his hand.

Driven by the need of reaching your orgasm your hips grow erratic as his fingers are still pressing on your clit. Your face is scrunched up in pleasure, but when you open your eyes to look down where his hand is, you find him looking down at you with his mouth agape.

Little gasps leave his lips as your wetness coats his hand and you can see it written on his face how much this is sending him into overdrive but you need him inside you again, you’re getting so close to your climax that you’re growing desperate for him to resume what he was doing a minute ago.

So you bring one of your hands down to hold his wrist and, though it frustrates you for a second to have his fingers leave your clit, you guide his fingers back to your entrance.

You haven’t broken eye contact and that might be the one thing that makes him give into your wishes. He’s come to find out there’s nothing he can deny you when you’re staring straight into his eyes.

When his fingers sink back inside you, deeper this time, and his palm cups your clit, your whines and moans encourage him to continue.

“Matty - fuck, please.” And with the way you’re almost clawing through his shirt at his back, Matty isn’t one to argue with what you want.

He starts fucking you with his fingers, and he quickly gets to know what you like. You’re beyond easy to read and he loves that you aren’t holding anything back from him. He loves your whines, gasps, and moans. He’s thankful he can hear them over how loud he can hear his own heartbeat.

With all the teasing and the relentless rhythm of his fingers, it doesn’t take long for you to feel the familiar ache of your orgasm building.

Matty can feel and see how close you are. His eyes rarely leave your face, noting and memorising the way your muscles strain and the way you look when he does something he now knows you like, all bringing you towards your climax. But he uses that to his advantage, when he can tell you’re almost there, with one more curl of his fingers, Matty withdraws them completely.

“No,” You can’t help but let out a small whine at being left with nothing when you were mere seconds away from an orgasm.

But Matty doesn’t listen to your complaints. Instead, he draws his hand up from between your legs and as his brown eyes stare into yours, he instructs, “Open your mouth.”

You do as you’re told, your mind is too dopamine induced to argue, and you follow his instructions without question. You know what's coming anyway, and you’ll happily suck his fingers clean and make a show of it for him.

But that’s where you’re wrong. Instead, Matty surprises you by sucking his own fingers clean and you’re just watching him above you in awe. The way he moans at the taste of you has you staring at him and if your mouth wasn’t already open, it definitely would have fallen like that. He looks so fucking hot.

And when his eyes open, the lust he’s feeling is clear to see. But your heart stops when he withdraws his fingers and grabs your jaw, holding it open further and Matty leans down a little and spits into your mouth.

How your eyes don’t roll back in pleasure, you don’t know. You hum as you close your mouth and swallow, your hips roll in a subconscious effort to alleviate the ache between your legs but his thigh is a bit too far down for you to even get a hint of friction which makes you let out a loud whine.

“Good girl.” Matty smirks down at you, but before he can look too smug about the way you reacted you grab him with both your hands and pull him down into another heated kiss.

Your skin feels like it’s on fire now, and getting off with him is only making your need for release more urgent. Your brain continues to get more hazy with every single thing he does and the only coherent thought you can make out is the fact that you need him completely.

“Matty please,” If you weren’t so far gone by the lust, you wouldn’t have pleaded but these were desperate times now so you continue and voice your request, “I need more.”

He’s sure there’s not a day he’d choose to hear you not pleading to him like this but he still takes his chance to tease you with his words, “Greedy, greedy baby.”

Kissing his way down your neck, Matty fucking loves the way you react to his hot kisses. It’s like you can’t keep still for him, like your body is begging him to give you every ounce of pleasure.

When he starts kissing down your stomach, you know exactly what’s about to happen and your mind goes into overdrive. You can’t help but watch as the mess of curls gets lower and lower down your body, loving the feel of his lips and tongue teasing your skin as he goes.

Your erratic breathing doesn’t go unnoticed, but it only makes Matty more determined to give you the most intense orgasm of your life. He wants to drive you insane, have you so needy for him that you end up bursting on his tongue.

Matty looks up at you when he kisses the top of your thong, and once again you just nod, not needing him to verbalise the question. Although it's kind, you’re desperate for him, you would agree to anything he would offer you right now if it meant he’d be the one getting you off.

Getting to his knees, Matty pulls your underwear off you and he throws the material to the floor somewhere. As he moves himself further down the bed, he knocks your knees open and moves your legs over his shoulders, he doesn’t let his lust filled stare move from your eyes as his lips start trailing down the inside of your thighs.

If you thought he was a verbal tease, this is somehow even worse. The curly haired brunette takes his sweet time, kissing ever so slowly down your thigh before swapping to the other to repeat his actions, leaving your skin sensitive and more than likely bruised with all the attention he's showing you.

Your impatient whines as he does this have him smirking against your skin, and whilst you are loving it, the other side of you needs an orgasm after being edged earlier. You try and buck your hips up so his mouth gets closer to where you need it, but instead Matty tuts and wraps his arms around your thighs and holds your hips to keep you in place where he wants you.

“Patience is a virtue.” Matty smirks, going back and kissing over your thighs where he already has, and it has you trying and failing to move your hips to get him closer.

Slowly, you’re losing your mind though. The visual of him between your legs, the anticipation of the pleasure you’ll soon be feeling but currently being denied has you getting frantic.

“My virtue died when you fingered and edged me.” You say looking straight into his eyes, your skin still hot and heart still racing. Ardently, you demand, “Get to work.”

Matty just raises his eyebrows at you defiantly, and you know from just that look that you’re not getting anything more off him until you relent. And you’re too desperate to take any power back, so you just beg, “Please.” hoping he’ll show you some mercy.

Thankfully, he does. After kissing his way down, holding your thighs open even wider, Matty licks a bold stripe up from your entrance to your clit which has you releasing a guttural moan out into your room. The sound has Matty smirking as he starts flicking his tongue over your clit, loving the fact it’s him who’s the cause of them.

His tongue has your fingers clawing at your duvet, holding fistfuls of it as you give into how he’s making you feel. Your skin is hot, and with how sensitive everything building up to this has made you, it’s no surprise your breathing is laboured and your back arches in pleasure as he makes you feel everything so intensely.

Matty does this for a little while, teasing you, holding your thighs tighter when he feels the way your body twitches and spasms in response to his tongue. It’s not a hardship for him to learn what you like when you’re being as vocal as you are and he takes great pride in having you like this for him.

He eats you out like he kisses, like it’s all or nothing yet he’s making every effort to ensure you’re enjoying yourself, and with how wet he’s made you and the sounds leaving your pretty mouth, he knows you are. Matty’s entirely ravenous, needing to keep going and giving you all the pleasure he can, like he’s excited to finally be tasting you and he wants to keep tasting you.

Moaning against you as he sucks and plays with your clit has you having to grab onto his curls, pulling him towards you like he could get any closer. His half eyes close at the feeling, and you can’t stop yourself from glancing down at him as pleasured whines leave your mouth.

Somehow the view sets something else inside you alight. The fantasy you’ve had for so many years playing out in front of you, Matty’s head actually between your thighs looking blissed out and completely content as if there’s no place he’d rather be than here tasting you.

Matty can’t help but moan against you as you start moving your hips up and down as he eats you. The noises you’re making along with the way you’re pulling in his hair encouraging him to continue, mixed with the way you taste has Matty’s eyes closing in complete bliss.  

You can feel the way he grinds his hips against your mattress, the man clearly seeking some relief as well. And you would feel bad about it but you don’t have a chance to because the curly haired man dips his head and starts fucking you with his tongue.

Your jaw drops as your thighs tighten around his head, your own falling back against the soft bedding and Matty’s hands tighten around you keeping you exactly where he needs you. His nose bumps against your clit even has you mewling small “ah”s for him.

Matty’s moans cause vibrations to run up through your body, making you pull on his hair even tighter. He goes between fucking you with his tongue and using it to tease your clit, his chin covered in your slick at this point but he’s having far too much fun to care.

Your hand that’s not rooted in Matty’s hair, you use to tease yourself. Grabbing your boob through the bralette and pinching your nipple through the material and you moan at that along with the bliss you’re receiving from Matty’s tongue. But then the curly haired brunette notices what you’re doing and he releases one of your thighs and reaches up your body to do the same to your other boob and the ache in your lower stomach starts feeling almost too intense.

“Matty,” You keep moaning but this time he knows he has you on the verge of cumming. Even though his jaw has started to ache, he doubles his efforts now, knowing he has you exactly where he’s wanted you for days, weeks, and months. And he’s not going to stop until you’re completely fucked out for him.

Your thighs are starting to tremble, and your grip on his hair is so hard he thinks you could pull it out. The stimulation is almost too much for you, it’s making your whole body feel like it’s on fire and you know well enough by now it’s because your body is dying for relief.

“F-fuck, please.” You beg, and Matty hums as he suckles hard on your clit, confirming he’s going to make you finish. And after making your back arch a few more times with his various tricks, you start to tremble and you choke on a loud moan as you come undone.

Matty can help but watch as you fall apart beneath him. He dips his head back so he can lap up your juices and he moans loudly at the taste and sight of you.

He doesn’t relent until you start pushing him off, but even then he licks your swollen clit one more time before he starts kissing his way up your body again. Even then, you're too dazed by that intense orgasm to notice the way he’s appreciating your body.

It feels like ages when you’re coming back down from your high, your chest heaving as you try to get oxygen back into your lungs and your cheeks start burning up when you open your eyes and you find him looking down at you with a satisfied smirk on his face.

Hair dishevelled from you pulling on it so much and the pink on his cheeks makes him look so fucking stunning, you’re dying to show him just how much you like him. Especially after he’s made you see stars.

You’re just dying to return the favour.

Your eyes fall down to see him and when you realise Matty’s basically still dressed, you frown at him. “You’ve got way too many clothes on.”

His shirt is still half tucked into his pants, only the buttons undone which is the one thing you managed to do earlier but even the undone bowtie is still hanging around his neck.

The smirk on his face grows bigger, “Gotta dress properly for a meal, haven’t I?” His sarcasm is heavy to tease you once more and you roll your eyes in fake annoyance.

“You’re such a little shit.” You state as a scolding, your hands going straight for his shirt to take it off him and throw it somewhere on the floor behind him.

The bowtie goes with it and soon, your fingers are working to undo the button of his trousers, tugging them down far easier than yours were. To fully take them off he stands up and you sit yourself up at the edge of the bed, watching him toe of his shoes before getting fully rid of his pants.

A few seconds later Matty is standing in front of you, only in his underwear, his taut muscles on show and his skin littered with the tattoos you’ve grown fond of over the years. You catch a glimpse of the new tattoo he got at one of the last shows of the north american tour, which reads ‘I’m a man’.

The whole view has filthy ideas sparking in your mind and you truly don’t have a filter anymore because once you see him taking the short couple of steps he has to get back to you, you let one of those ideas slip.

“I want you to fuck my mouth.” You say looking up at him with doe eyes, your mouth watering at the thought of him using you to get off.

Matty is sure his soul leaves his body when you say that and his throat dries up at the image you’ve just put in his head.

He has no idea what to say, thoughts fully gone and out of the window until you speak again, repeating what you want him to do.

Your hand comes to hold his left thigh and you teasingly and slowly let it brush upwards and closer to the edge of his underwear, “Baby, please fuck my mouth.”

Letting out a guttural groan, Matty rolls his eyes back in pleasure. You using that nickname for him always does it, he always ends up right in the palm of your hands when you utter the word to refer to him.

His hands come to cup your jaw and slightly tip your head backwards a bit more just so he’s sure he’s looking right in your eyes as he asks for reassurance, “Are you sure?”

“Mhm,” You hum in agreement, and tilt your head to the side to kiss the palm of one of his hands. With that look that you’re giving him, he can’t even think of denying you a thing and it’s like you know exactly how to get him to say yes to anything you want when you use the sweetest voice to add another, “Please?”

He wants to tell you that you don’t even have to say that word ever again but the urge to kiss you hot and hard is stronger. He crashes your lips together with such force you lean back and have to rest on one of your elbows to stay seated.

You kiss feverishly while your hands travel down his chest to his lower stomach and then slowly trail your index finger down to his hard cock.

Just that ghost of a touch has him shakily breathing, breaking the kiss as his face contorts in almost pain with the way he just wants to fully give into the pleasure but if he does then he’d burst right here, right now.

Your lips brush his parted lips as you smirk when your hand comes to squeeze his hard on and you slowly start stroking him up and down over the fabric of his boxers.

Matty lets out the prettiest sounds and you’re fucking obssessed with them so you don’t let up on your actions, only getting more intently with it, that is until he bites on his bottom lip and silences himself.

Only hearing low hums of pleasure then has you frowning because you don’t want to be deprived of the noises he makes so without a second thought you let go of him only to get rid of the last piece of clothing.

From the way he rushes through getting them off, you know he’s eager and you are too so when he’s back in front of you as close as he can get for it to be comfortable, you lick your lips and wrap your right hand around his hard cock.

The tip is already glistening with precum and red which makes you think about just how much he must’ve been throbbing, constricted in his trousers while he paid all of his attention to you.

That notion only makes you even more excited to let him use your mouth to get off and with that set in mind, you give him a few more strokes before sinking your mouth down on him.

You hum around him, your mouth being full of him and tasting him has your eyes rolling back into your head, and the loud moan he lets out only adds to it all. Your thighs clench together as you quickly get worked up by it all.

You only bob your head up and down a few times, trying to go as deep as you can and gagging around him to get you prepared for it. You breathe deeply through your nose and relax your jaw every time you go to fully take him all the way to the back of your throat, your nose almost hitting his pelvis.

Your eyes water as you take him and it’s such a sinful scene just from the sounds of your gagging and his loud moans mixing together.

One of your hands comes up to his hip then, stopping your movements and encouraging him to thrust into your mouth. He gets the instruction right away and he starts mindfully giving into your wishes. You can’t help but become a mess of moans when his hips start moving.

Matty is being gentle though, and even though he keeps grunting and moaning as he fills your mouth and your throat, it isn’t quite like you want it to be. He’s not even hitting as deep as he was when you were doing it at the start so, stopping his movements, you pull back and let go of his cock for a moment.

He’s breathless, panting, all sweaty and flushed. It is certainly a gorgeous sight seeing him all fucked out because of you but you force yourself to not get distracted when you’re meant to call him out on how his holding back.

“Thought I was clear when I said I wanted you to fuck my mouth.” Is what you say, sternly with an eyebrow raised.

He has to take a deep breath at your words but then he comes clean about his worries, “I won’t last if I do that, baby.”

And it’s true, Matty has been trying so hard to be concentrated and not cum the second you’ve touched him, it’s gonna be impossible for him to last any longer if he goes through with what you’re asking.

But you dismiss it, “I don’t care, I want you to do it properly.” And when you finish your demands with a serious, “Fill my throat.” Matty is fully gone.

His eyes darken at your words, looking down at you with pure lust and you look up at him with mischief written all over your face.

Your mouth falls open slowly and before you can pull him closer, he does by hooking his finger on the ribbon choker that’s still tied around your neck. He has his other hand wrapped around his cock which is painfully hard now, stroking himself twice before homing it on your mouth once again, and the warm wetness of it has him stuttering a, “Fuck baby–”

You’re mewling when his hips buck into your face and he hits the back of your throat, your eyes watering again, yet he still is being too careful with it. So with the intent to make him desperate for release, you bring one of your hands down to play with his balls.

That seems to do it because Matty gets louder and his pace gets increasingly faster, you’re fully just mindful now of relaxing your jaw so he can keep milking himself with the tightness of your throat.

Your hand doesn’t stop cupping and teasing his balls and that ends up making him lift his right leg up to prop his foot up right beside your hip and the new angle seems to be his undoing.

It’s pure desperation that has him going faster, tears are running down your face now and your spit is falling down your chin to your neck. You’re throbbing and the clenching of your thighs isn’t even helping anymore, so you start grinding down on your bed and it’s all that which is making you let out noises of unmatchable pleasure.

His hand comes to your head, fingers tangling in your hair so he can keep a bit of consistency in his movements which are growing sloppy when you start to feel him twitch in your mouth. When he looks down at you though, it’s like it all heightens. Seeing himself disappear into your mouth has his mind spinning and it’s a sight that will be forever engraved in his mind.

“Baby-,” He tries to talk but it’s all interrupted by his own gasps and moans, “Gonna cum.”

Your wordless answer to that is helping him achieve his climax so as he thrusts into you, you suck a little harder and tease your tongue underneath the tip of his cock and it is that which tips him over the edge. The visual is better than anything he could’ve imagined nights before when he thought of you as he got himself off or any of the dreams he’d had when you were the one to star in them.

It only takes a few more messy thrusts for him to coat your throat with his cum and you’re sure that you’ll never forget the loud groans he’s letting out.

He continues to ride his orgasm out, his hips faltering and slowing down but you have enjoyed this so much, you’re the one that continues their movements to make his pleasure last longer.

That only lasts a half of a minute though, his senses are fully going into overdrive and he cannot take any more, especially when he feels you suck him again. So with the hand that’s still tangled in your hair, he pulls you carefully off him.

Matty watches you completely dazed as you catch the last of his cum that’s dripped down the corner of your mouth when he pulled out. You make a show of sucking the finger you just caught it with, rolling your eyes at the taste of him, grinding your hips down on your bed again.

His finger comes to hook on your choker again then as he leans down to kiss you but before he locks your lips together, he looks right into your eyes and says, “You’re fucking unreal baby.”

You give him a smirk which is short lived as he attacks your lips quickly after he’s spoken. It’s hot and desperate, growing even harsher when he tastes himself on your tongue.

You’re pushed back on the bed again, and he pulls you further up as he hovers over you. One of his hands travels down to your breasts and he starts playing with them as you both get off.

From what’s just happened, you are already so worked up that you become desperate to have him do something about it. So you break the kiss, gasping for air when he pinches one of your nipples with the perfect amount of strength that has you seeing stars.

“Matty,” You start saying as you’re trying to catch your breath, but you can’t seem to find your words anymore when he kisses down your neck and starts sucking bruises onto it. “Matty-” You try once again but it only encourages him to continue more intently.

He hums as if asking you ‘what?’ but he isn’t really paying attention, he’s too focused on making you feel good after the mindblowing orgasm you’ve just given him.

You’re somehow growing hotter under him, as if you weren’t almost fully naked, and it just becomes even worse when he finishes sucking on a certain spot and he’s met with the ribbon tied around your neck, which he ends up undoing by tugging one of the ends with his teeth.

You feel a little tightness around your neck for a fraction of a second and when you see him pulling the ribbon with his teeth, you give him a pathetically loud moan in response. His hand comes up to get rid of it and throws it behind himself to continue with his attack on the skin of your neck.

You swear you’re going insane with every passing second so you force yourself to make up a proper sentence for your own sanity.

“Matty, I need you to do something.” Your hips buck up in search to grind against his but he’s purposely keeping himself hovered further up than you can reach comfortably. “I’m so fucking wet, please.”

Every one of your begs are being stored in the forefront of Matty’s mind, and it only encourages him to get more of them if he’s being honest. Yet, you’ve been so good to him, he thinks he might as well just give you something that could help you feel less frustrated.

He kisses down your chest, focusing on the top of your breasts, and teasing his tongue over your nipples over the fabric of your bralette. You whine out in frustration and he chuckles at you but his hands come under your body so he can undo the clasp of it and free you from your last item of clothing.

Once the clasp is undone, you carelessly take it off you and throw it to the floor with much more strength than necessary. Once again, your desperation has him laughing but you’re not finding this funny at all so one of your hands comes to root in his hair and tug on it, so he does something.

That has him wrapping his lips around one of your nipples and the gasp you let out is louder than you’d find needed. But you’re just so desperate for anything that his tongue flattening over your nipple, flicking it and sucking it could fully be enough to make you cum again.

And it turns out that you are that desperate because with you begging for more, Matty smirks as he continues teasing you with his mouth but takes pity on you and he drops his hand back down between your legs and he fingers you again. As his fingers carry on fucking you and his lips continue to tease, there’s no way you’re able to hold back the noises you let out as your senses are completely clouded by every bit of pleasure he’s giving you. It seems like in a matter of a few seconds you’re being completely tipped over the edge and you lose all control over your own body.

Matty watches you entirely astounded by your moans and the way you convulse and arch under him. To add to your pleasure Matty drops his hand back to simultaneously use his thumb to tease your clit, prolonging your high.

He does so until you push his hand away, entirely satisfied and a little too overstimulated. Closing your eyes and taking deep breaths as you come back around a little quicker this time and you’re glad you do because the man who’s the cause of all your pleasure decides he’s going to be cute again.

“I think I’m obsessed with you.” Matty admits as he rests himself down, half on top of you, so he can hide himself into the crook of your neck.

“Yeah,” You nod, still catching your breath. You bring your hand up that’s not trapped between Matty and your side up and route your fingers into his curls, “I think I feel the same way about you.”

You can feel Matty’s smile against your neck when you say that, and it makes you smile too as you stare at your ceiling, trying to get your breathing to return back to normal. As you play with his hair, you quickly run back through everything that’s just happened and you can’t help the small, “Holy shit.” that leaves your lips.

If foreplay and oral was that good with him, god only knows how you’re going to survive after he actually fucks you.

Matty brings you out of your thoughts though as you hear and feel him chuckle into your neck. It has you grinning at the low noise and the feeling of his lips against your neck, you can’t help but quietly ask, “What?”

“I can’t believe you were so turned on from giving me head that I just made you finish from playing with your boobs.” Matty hums, not entirely sure that he isn’t dreaming.

Despite that not being the only thing he did, you can’t believe how turned on him doing that made you. You guess it’s true what they say, good sex is psychological. And with the way you feel about Matty, it's no doubt actually having some feelings there for him has made this experience better, and you’re sure he would say the same.

But you don’t want to let him have that, so instead of agreeing, you tell him as you twist your hair around your fingers, “Don’t let it feed your ego.”

Matty hums as if taking your comment into consideration, but he sighs, “Too late.”

You’re more than likely never going to hear the end of this now, even if he’s pushing the borders of the truth. He has all the ammunition to keep you flustered at all times now. But you’ll deal with that another day.

Chuckling a little at his admission of a fueled ego, you shake your head a little as you playfully say, “You're a dickhead.”

Matty props himself up to look down over you then, and you love the way he still look a little fucked out. But clearly the man is now in the mood to tease and you know what’s coming before he even opens his mouth.

He smirks down at you, “A dickhead who just gave you an orgasm by licking y-”

Cutting him off, you lean up and kiss him so you don’t have to hear it. You know he’s joking, but you’ll take any excuse to have his lips on your own.

He kisses you sweetly and you both can’t really help the way you’re smiling into it. Happiness is exuding from the both of you, and neither of you would change a thing about this moment for the world.

Matty is utterly obsessed with you. He can’t get over the way his heart has been racing since the moment his eyes landed on you when you arrived at the restaurant.

He feels so beyond lucky he even got a second date with you, that you even have an interest in getting to know him on a deeper level. The singer does truly love your first date but this one has meant the absolute world to him and for it to finish off like this despite the both of you flirting, he really does feel so lucky.

And you’re so fucking gorgeous. Even before he got your clothes off he knew you were, but the fact he is lucky enough to see you and experience you like you are, he won't ever take it for granted. And he’s kissing you now hoping that the gesture can say all of this for him whilst he slowly gets the courage to say it outloud to you someday.

Your sweet moment together slowly turns heated again as your kisses grow in intensity. It somehow manages to go from soft and playful to you dragging groans and whines out of each other and your grasping at each other's skin. Until it goes further.

It’s still a little surreal getting off with him, making out earnestly drawing moans from him by the way your fingers tug on his hair, the way your lips meet, and the way your bodies so effortlessly turn the other on. Matty makes a show of letting his hands start wondering again, teasing your skin with gentle caresses until he has you gasping for breath again.

He takes his time edging you again, getting you close enough that you almost finish only to leave you unsatisfied and desperate for more. And he’s taking great pride in his work as you can feel his smile against your lips every time he shuts your whining and whimpering up with his kisses.

“Matty, please.” You beg, not being able to wait any longer. You need him.

“What do you want, baby?” Matty asks between kissing you despite knowing you want the exact same as him. He’s hard again now and he’s dying for you at this point, but that doesn’t stop him from demanding, “Tell me what you need.”

“Need you to fuck me.” You whine, pulling on the curls on the back of his head so he looks into your eyes as you plead, “Please.”

Matty nods, wanting nothing more than to be inside you, he asks, “Do you have any condoms?”

Whilst he did bring one just in case, he didn’t really want it to seem presumptuous by going getting his. Thankfully, you nod, and quickly reach over to your bedside drawer and Matty watches as you pluck out a clearly new and unopened box to get one out for him.

Matty doesn’t really know why he likes that you’ve got an unopened box of them. He doesn’t know if it’s because maybe you bought them especially to use with him, hoping that the date would work out well enough that you’d both get to this part of the night.

Or maybe it just makes him feel special because he’s hoping with everything he has that you hadn’t been with anyone recently. That just maybe you had been waiting for him like he had been waiting for his tour to finish so he could go on this date with you.

And it’s that tinge of what he recognises to be jealousy that pokes at his chest that makes him realise the one thing he wants is to have you only to himself. He knows it’s early and completely rushed from him but he can’t deny himself that you’re the one who makes him feel best these days and there’s no moment he doesn’t have you in his mind.

So he’s not surprised when this ghost of possessiveness comes over him when thinking of you this way with anyone else, it’s something he wishes he hadn't even thought of in the first place.

Watching you under him, giving him a small smirk before opening up the box, has him hoping with every bit of his soul that you want him for yourself the same way he just wants you.

You wiggle your eyebrows as you shake the box, the wrappers inside making a little noise when hitting the sides of the cardboard and the sight is enough to earn a chuckle from him.

“You think you’ve got enough?” He teases you, nudging your nose with his and stealing a peck before turning his attention back at your fingers getting one of the square foil packets out of the box.

“If we wanna get through what we’ve both been planning, no, probably not.” You chuckle and Matty can’t help but giggle as he traps you in a kiss after he takes the condom from you.

The box falls on the floor, the rest of the condoms spilling out but there’s no time to focus on the small mess when you’ve got Matty hungrily kissing you and your whole body lighting up once more tonight.

It’s the built up anticipation for what is about to happen that has you both desperate and, due to your previous orgasms, overly sensitive to every touch of your skin.

The way his fingers are clutching the side of your waist with such intent, you pulling him closer to you by your tangled fingers in his curls, your pebbled nipples rubbing against his chest, his knee in between your thighs propping your legs open.

Your senses are going into overdrive, both of you gasping already in the kiss and the heavier your breaths get, the less patience you both have. Leaving a few chaste kisses on your lips, Matty brings the wrapper up to his mouth and rips it open with his teeth.

You fully gasp under him, loud enough for him to hear you over his heartbeat which is ringing in his ears and that only has him needing you more desperately, he wants to draw more of your sweet sounds out of you. After tonight, he’s not really sure there’ll be a time he will have listened to them enough. Impossible.

Watching as he throws the now empty packet and rolls the condom down himself makes you subconsciously drag your fingers down your body until you can touch yourself and, with slow circles on your clit, get yourself some much needed relief.

Your relief is short-lived as your back arching off the bed when you apply a bit more of pressure has him taking your hand off yourself, wrapping his fingers around your wrist to bring your fingers to his mouth and sucks on them.

Seeing his eyes roll back at the taste of you on your fingers has your jaw dropping, and you’re so far gone by the view that you barely register him smirking as he slowly drops your hand to rest on the bed over your head, pinning it there with his left hand and taking his right hand back down around himself.

Matty brings you down to Earth again when he taps on your swollen clit with his cock, so quick they have you gasping as your attention is back on him. He chuckles seeing you fall apart so easily under him but when you glare at him, he presses his lips together so his amusement is less obvious.

“Stop teasing Matty.” Your tone stern and you’re still glaring at him to get a move on but unfortunately that only encourages him to elongate your desperation a bit more. He just likes to hear you begging at this point and pushing your buttons to see how far it takes you to reach that point is certainly something he’s really enjoyed finding out about.

He teases you once more, running the tip of his cock down to your entrance but back up to tease your clit once more which has you bucking your hips up into his. Hearing you mutter a pathetic ‘please’ again has Matty giving in to what you both desperately want.

After lining himself up, he pushes into you slowly, letting you accommodate to him as you both moan into the other's mouth at the overwhelming feeling. The pleasurable stretch of him filling you has you writhing beneath him, your nails scratching down his shoulder blade and your whines filling the room.

When he bottoms out, Matty clenches his jaw to try not to finish there and then. He focuses down on you, your pretty mouth that’s fallen open with everything you’re feeling and your eyes closed in what he hopes is pleasure.

The curly haired brunette lets his nose gently brush back and forth across yours as he quietly says, “Let me know when I can move baby.”

You hum a little to acknowledge him, and after a few seconds you nod before asking, “Please move.” at the same time your hips try to move against his own.

With how much you’ve both been waiting for this very moment, it isn’t hard for you both to set a pace that has your toes curling in pleasure. Your hips moving and meeting in the middle, his pubic bone hitting your clit at just the right intensity, your mouths swallowing each other’s moans.

In an attempt to make both of you more comfortable and change the position a little without switching completely, because you really want to see each other coming undone, he lifts one of his knees further up under yours and therefore takes one of your legs with it.

He leans forward a bit more and the new angle has you throwing your head back in bliss, unable to keep kissing him when a guttural moan comes from deep in your chest. And Matty fucking loves it, he loves feeling how you’ve lost the rhythm your hips were taking, faltering until you stop and it’s him left to keep up the pace which is now the faintest bit slower but harder.

But you’re so overcome with pleasure that you can’t seem to lift your head back up for enough time to see him or even keep your eyes open and look at him like you’d like to. He’s hitting that spot time and time again and he’s so close to you that your eyes keep screwing shut and rolling back.

And you know that looking at you is one thing he wants too because his hand comes up to cup your jaw and between grunts, he says, “Baby, look at me.” You make your best effort to at least keep your half open eyes on his face and it’s certainly hard when he’s making you feel this good but you try your best.

“Eyes on me okay?” Matty asks you again and your answer is a mewled, “Mhm.”

Staring straight into his eyes as he pounds into you makes you feel you’re having an experience out of this world. Seeing his brows furrow over his glistening brown eyes and the moans and gasps that leave his lips and hit your own open mouth, have you clenching around him.

You’re so close now, your proximity and your unwavering gaze on each other have multiplied every single sensation tenfold and you know he notices it too because he’s now the one having trouble keeping his eyes closed and not letting his head hang.

His pace is growing erratic now, trying to reach your orgasms but allowing the buildup to last a bit longer. Yet he doesn’t really know how much longer he can go when your walls are so tight around him, trying to milk him dry.

But you want to see his gorgeous eyes again, so you let your hand cup his cheek and you watch in delight as his eyes find yours again.

He dips his head a little, letting his lips find the top of your wrist so he kisses over your riot tattoo before he starts kissing his way up your palm. Smiling, you let him carry on until you end up resting your thumb over his swollen lips.

Yours are still apart, letting every noise fall from your mouth without hesitation. The way his hips hit your own have him instilling pleasure into you already, but then he goes and adds to it with another visual that is going to be burned into your retinas for the rest of your days.

Matty parts his lips as he thrusts into you, biting down on the tip of your thumb. It somehow excites you that little bit more, but what really gets you is when he dips his head further and he sucks on your thumb.

And because your hips buck up to meet his own the next time he thrusts into you, as you moan beneath him, you feel the vibration of his as your thumb presses down on his tongue.

Watching him through hooded eyes, you see his lips pursing around your finger and still sucking on it and the way he hums around it before letting it go with a pop has your mind spinning.

You can feel yourself pulsing around him now, so close finally getting relief after being denied it for what feels like an age. With your heart hammering in your ears and Matty’s moans gracing them too, it’s not long until he has you on edge.

It only takes a few more thrusts from him to have you finishing for the third time. The sound of your moans get caught in your throat as your fingers curl into Matty’s hair and your nails scratch down his back. Your back arches with the intensity of the orgasm that has you seeing white, it’s almost too much - too good.

Matty’s jaw falls open with a loud groan seeing your come undone and at the feeling of your clenching around him. It’s a miracle he manages to thrust into you a few more times without cumming himself as he wants to help you ride out your high. But the feeling gets the best of him, he finishes a few seconds after you.

He tries to hold himself up best he can, but he wants to be as close to you as possible. Without crushing you, he falls completely against you and he lets his forehead rest against yours as you both feel every ounce of pleasure as he grinds his hips against yours.

Your orgasms linger for a while, both of you sweaty messes tightly wrapped around each other, neither one of you wanting to move. When you open your eyes a little, you can’t help but smile at the closeness, and Matty’s eyes open a little as well and he whispers, “You’re unreal baby.”

Not caring about the fact that he has you chuckling, the curly haired brunette moves his jaw so he can softly kiss you again. You’re positively obsessed with his mouth and the way that even the little kisses you share have your lips tingling and heart racing.

Matty kisses you again as he pulls out of you, almost as an apology of sorts at the small whimper you released. But you don’t mind and graciously accept the kiss before Matty moves himself so he’s lying beside you and he takes the condom off and puts it in the bin.

Both of you are still entirely out of breath, now looking at the ceiling because there's nothing more either of you can do than try to control your heavy breathing. You feel like you’re having an out of body experience. That was too good to be true.

Your whole body still feels like it’s tingling, the excess oxytocin clearly still lingering in your bloodstream really making every little memory of what just happened feel great even thinking about it. Before you can mentally relive it all though, you feel Matty turn his head to look at you.

The curly haired brunette admits, “I really like you.”

His heart is hammering in his chest, from your previous activities, but also because he couldn’t keep that bit of information to himself any longer. He had to tell you, despite him not realising he’s already drunkenly told you once before.

Hearing that has you turning your head to look at him. And just seeing the way he’s staring at you with so many emotions in his eyes that you can’t quite decipher yet has your heart swelling. Because despite not being able to place every single feeling, you can tell he’s being honest and vulnerable.

So you don’t hold back for a second and you let the biggest grin take over your face as you admit, “I really like you too.”

You do see the relief flood his features then though, and you can’t stop yourself from rolling on your side towards him, forcing another sweet kiss upon him.

“I meant it when I said I was obsessed with you, you know?” You tell him, feeling the need to remind him.

“Mhhh,” Matty hums in delight, “If you keep reminding me I won’t let you out of my sight ever again.”

“Obsessed.” You grin, letting it be an accusation and confirmation all in one. You let your noses touch again, giving him an eskimo kiss before you connect your lips with his again to give him a proper one.

Matty lets you briefly escape to use the bathroom, him very much liking the visual of you getting up and bending down to collect his shirt from the floor just to put it on as you walk into the other room. What he doesn’t like is that you’ve buttonned it up a little at the front when you come back out and you’re back to hiding your gorgeous body from him.

As much as he tries to get it off you, when you lie back down beside him, he only manages a few buttons until you distract him again with rogue kisses. And regardless, you still look hot as fuck in just his shirt and he’s not complaining seeing you only in that.

He raises his arm up over your shoulder and rests it over your back, rubbing up and down your waist over the material as he grins, “You look so good in my shirt.”

You smile, not letting his words fluster you this time. Taking the compliment, you ask, “Do I now…?”

“Really fucking good, stunning.” He puckers his lips wanting you to kiss him again and you do so with a smile. He smiles into the kiss too and when he pulls away he lets his eyes run down your body again and says, “Remind me to let you steal all my clothes.”

Tilting your head to the side, you raise your eyebrows and warn him, “Don’t tempt me.”

“You’re more than welcome to, baby.” Matty grins, but then adds a clause, “Only if I can take them off you.”

Grinning, you agree not expecting anything less, “I don’t think there was ever another option.”

“Good.” Matty nods, and with his other hand he cups your cheek and lifts it a little to get a good look at your pretty face. He smiles as you look so good, but he does notice that, “You look tired.”

Chuckling a little, you nod, “Nothing new there.”

“We should nap.” Matty tells you, pulling you by your waist into him a little more, “We should skip the party and cuddle all night.”

“No, we can’t do that.” You shake your head. Although, you are quite tired after your activities and the fact you got such little sleep last night, so you give in to one of his ideas, “We can take a short nap and then we’re going.”

The curly haired brunette pouts, asking, “Why can’t we stay?”

“Because we can’t just not show up to your best mates’ New Years party.” You laugh, pecking his lips again so the pout disappears, and when it does, you add, “Plus Amelia is coming too so I have to be there or else she’ll start chatting shit about me replacing her for you and standing her up.”

Matty snorts a little at that because he playfully accused George of the exact same thing when he started seeing Charli. He loves that your friendships have exactly the same vibe, he knows for a fact that you’d all get on well together.

Despite this though, Matty still powers through, wanting to have you alone and in his arms for as long as possible tonight. “Well, you can give Amelia a lovely visual of what kept you from her and I’m sure she’ll understand.”

Laughing, you shake your head in fake disbelief, “You’re such an idiot.”

“You’re obsessed with me though.” Matty grins, stroking his thumb across the apple of your cheek as he looks into your gorgeous eyes.

“A tiny bit maybe.” You smile, pinching your thumb and index finger together so they almost touch to demonstrate how small your obsession is.

Cocking his head a little, narrowing his eyes he accuses, “Downplaying it a bit there baby.”

“Don’t start now.” You shake your head, knowing he’s trying to get you flustered for him again but you’re not having it right now.

“What?” He tries to play innocent, acting all confused about your accusations.

But you soon cut him off, reminding him, “You’re more obsessed with me so…”

And once again he has you melting into him when he replies, “Damn, you’re right. I am.”

He makes you shriek when he nuzzles his head eagerly in your neck, his nose tickling the crook of your neck and the sensation of his curls on your skin making you giggle. His fingers clutch you tight into him by your waist, his tickling on your neck stops then and it’s replaced by short little kisses being littered on your skin.

You’re grinning like a fool with your eyes almost closed when he lifts his head up to look at you. “Are you keeping them leather pants on for me tonight then?” Matty can’t help but smirk a little.

“No, I reckon they were just for you.” You smile, feeling like you should dress up a little nicer, in something that Matty will like, but that also shows “I’ll change it up.”

Matty hums, certainly interested in anything you wear. You never miss the mark, “Have anything in mind?”

Thinking about it for a moment, you pick something out mentally and nod, “Yes, but it’s a surprise.”

“Awh,” Matty coos, kissing your lips a few times to butter you up so you confess when he asks, “You wanna surprise me?“

“Not you,” You shake your head, and jokingly say, “George.”

Matty playfully frowns at you, but pretending like he isn’t the jealous one, he tries to get you to change your answer by saying, “Charli would love that, sure.”

“I would hope she does.” You nod eagerly, not being able to hide your grin when you jog his memory a little, “Remember, I’d go for both of them.”

“Would you?” The curly haired brunette gives you a look of disbelief, and he looks down and gestures to the both of you as he asks again, “After this?”

“Yes.” You confirm boldly with a proud nod.

Matty scoffs loudly, “Bitch.” before he pushes you off him and he moves so he can be the one to hover just above you for a second.

He has the both of you laughing, and he knows you don’t mean it from the look on your face and your genuine laughter at the conversation. You just love doing whatever you can to wind him up, and you’ve certainly found a way to do it and are running with it.

“Why are you so energetic?” You can’t help but ask, “Aren’t you tired?”

“Am not.” Matty chuckles, but then he cheekily gives you a knowing smile, “You were right saying you were a Grandma.”

But you act just the same and give him his banter right back, “And you really did go through with the meaning of gilf.” and Matty loves the little giggle you let out at that.

“I’m very serious about my goals.” Matty tries to keep his smirk at bay but with your big grin it's a little difficult.

You tut and shake your head dismissively, “You always have an answer for everything, don’t you?”

“You know me.” Matty cackles and you hum in agreement against his lips as he kisses you again.

Afterwards, Matty lies himself back down and pulls you against him, and he urges you to get under the covers and get comfortable which you easily oblige to. The both of you talk for a while longer, your head resting near the top of his shoulder and his arm is around your back and you chat for a while.

With you Matty finds himself never wanting a conversation to end, but he knows you’re slowly falling asleep as your voice quietens down and your responses get a little slower until they are hums filled with gibberish. But the singer doesn’t mind, even he is getting tired now after the unforgettable dessert you’ve just had.  

A quick nap certainly won’t hurt anyone. He never promised George that you both would be at the party for any specific time before midnight, so he lets himself give into the post sex fatigue.

Soaking in the feeling of falling asleep with you in his arms, he feels truly content, and it only gets better when you cuddle yourself into him a little bit more when his hold around your waist tightens.

You let out a hum of bliss right in his ear and the sound is enough for him to know he wants you around for what he hopes is a while if time allows it. God help him, he really really likes you and he hopes with every bit of him that he doesn’t fuck anything up. He wouldn’t forgive himself.

But he doesn’t let himself think of things going wrong, like even the passing thought could jinx it, so he allows himself to enjoy this very moment: you laying in his arms, with your face hidden in his neck, your legs tangled together and your hand over his chest.

At first, he prays you can’t feel his erratic heart beating out of his chest, but on second thought, he actually hopes that in your hazy mind you can take in the palpable proof of the way you make him feel. He’s a complete mess for you, and he’s so eager to see where this can go.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Me and @alovesreading are going to go and repent for our sins now! See you soon for Part 6 x

Taglist: @red---moon @drinkurkombucha @vinylandcoffeecollection @better--oblivions @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @slutformattyhealy @kmsmedine @cecefaith @benkidgenius @avasjunkpile @spicyraccoonlordking @lizzylynch1 @ofbluesandyellows @kipperthedog2004 @slutforcoffein @madamedesmond @iamhallucinationnn @imagines4peeps @siwiecola @eaglestar31 @neverlieliliac @olliewhinchester @internetmultifandomfangirl @wellwellhereiam @dania7361 @kurdtbean @mawanji @jazzymariexoxoc @picklesandsprinkles @home-of-disaster @maelialuv @londonalozzy @ker0senebunny @golden-hoax @thouarntsage @belledawnidk @confusedcrayon @how2understand @harringt8ns @sheisaaantisocial @brumantrack @real-actual-human-person @eddiemunsonsgroupie @hemmings8376 @darlingbravebelle @defnotgracee @fabulouslyflamboyant5 @deamus-liv @itsjustsocialimplications @deamus-liv @itsjustsociallimplications @lauren--maex @ithinkivegonemad11 @stclen-sweethearts @stuck-in-fictional-worlds @befrwime @getbillzoned @hazskillerqueen @conanbeshifting @thereisaplaceintheheart @jasmine06blog @kennedy-brooke @blancastans​ @luvrattyhealy @wendyspotatopeeler​

Please let either of us know if you want to be added to the Taglist x

[boccher]

Recommendations for stargazing?

https://www.lightpollutionmap.info/ shows where skies are good, basically the darker it is the better the sky will be. you can click on the map to see the "bortle class" of a location, which is a classification system that gives a general idea of what you can see. (descriptions of each class on wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bortle_scale). In my experience, if you've never seen a dark sky, then bortle 3 & 4 locations will be fantastic looking straight above you, bortle 1 & 2 will be fantastic in all directions.

it takes time for your eyes to adapt to the dark to see as much dark detail as they can. For dark sites, I often hear people recommend at least 30 minutes without any bright screens or lights or torches to get the best experience

You wanna avoid stargazing when the moon is out (like greater than 30% phase) cuz it acts as a big light globe and defeats the purpose of dark skies. You can look at the moon from anywhere anyway. The moon cycles through its phases in an interval of about once a month. Take note of moon phase, moonrise and moonset times, and plan your stargazing around them. Stellarium (website or program or app) is helpful for seeing when the moon is out, and is generally a great map of everything in the sky.

The brightest parts of the milky way are high in the sky between june and october. But I'd say it's definitely still worth seeing both sides of the milky way at a dark site. Also the more south your latitude, the better view you get of the milky way core.

During late spring (in both hemispheres) the milky way only rises at inconvenient times, so take note of that.

You wanna check weather conditions. Getting caught in rain is miserable. Even if it's clear, smoke or raised dust or mist or high humidity can blot out the sky and make it harder to stargaze. It's not super easy to predict those conditions, often it requires observing the air on the day that you're stargazing or checking satellite imagery. but usually for mid-latitude locations, the clearest clear skies occur for the few days after a cold front, under high pressure (it still depends on local weather patterns)

Generally, locations at high elevation are better for stargazing than locations at low elevation of equivalent bortle class, because there's less atmosphere to look through so the sky will be clearer

Bring a chair or else your legs and neck will hurt like a bitch and the experience starts to become a bit painful. A chair that can lean back is ideal. Dress for the weather, then bring an extra layer just in case

A good way to find stargazing locations is by searching up local astronomy clubs and seeing where they like to go. Don't crash their events if they're invite-only though

Be aware of local wildlife. Here the only thing to worry about is snakes really, i dunno what to do in places like america where you have like killer bears and killer bobcats

[historicallyaccuratecheese]

Well, I guess I’m continuing to make these now! Here’s the next part of my thoughts on every Magnus Archives episode! Now, last time I said that I was planning to write about episodes 21-40 in the next post, but as it turns out, the hyperfixation has set in and my thoughts are a LOT longer (so buckle up if you want to read this), and I also reached the tag limit. So, I’m only going to be covering episodes 21-30 here, and then I’ll write about episodes 31-40, and this 10 episode trend will probably continue for the rest of the posts, but that just means I’ll be able to put them out faster.

Also, unlike my first post, where I wrote all of my thoughts after finishing episode 20, all of these ones were written right after I finished the specific episode I talked about, so my thoughts are a lot more clearly documented. Finally, there’s a link to my masterpost, which will contain all the post’s detailing my thoughts on every episode before and after these ones.

Once again, no spoilers for future episodes please, and for anyone who hasn’t watched up to episode 30, spoilers are under the cut, so I recommend turning away until you’ve caught up. :)

- Episode 21, Freefall 🪂

Statement of Moira Kelly, regarding the disappearance of her son Robert.

WHAT THE FUCK??!! MARTIN??!! DAMN, I guess the horrors did get to him! Well, it’s nice to finally meet him, even if his first line was dropping shit on the ground. Either way, I get the vibe I’m in for a wild ride for this second half. ….What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the actual statement. Anyways this one upset me. Not only did it bring out my fear of heights pretty well, but the portrayal of a grieving mother who can’t comprehend what happened to her son was really heartbreaking. The line “The sky ate him” was kind of comedic at first, especially with Jon’s following reaction (love this guy btw, he’s such a loser), but then it became really horrific when I realized how it was just Moira desperately trying to make sense of the impossible horrors she just witnessed. The plot thread set up with Simon and Harriet Fairchild is also very interesting, and the whole sky thing kind of reminded me of Dominic’s visions in Ep. 4. Overall another one of many fantastic episodes, but HOLY SHIT I’M SCARED.

- Episode 22, Colony 🔦

Statement of Martin Blackwood, archival assistant at the Magnus Institute, London, regarding a close encounter with something he believes to have once been Jane Prentiss. Statement taken direct from subject.

….aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Ok let’s start from the top. Firstly, I’m really happy we finally got to meet Martin in this episode, and he’s great! Honestly he comes off as more dorky than stupid, and just comes off as a real sweetheart, so Jon’s distaste for him (outside of very different personalities), gets more mysterious. Though all things considered, after what he experienced, I don’t think that the bullying is his biggest worry anymore… Alexander J. Newall does a fantastic delivery, as much as I love Jon’s readings, you can really feel how terrified Martin is here (also “Blackwood” is a sick as fuck last name, and I related to him trailing off about spiders…) Outside of Martin himself, we have Jane Prentiss (or what remains of her) and…well, let’s just say that I don’t find the sex worms nearly as funny anymore. Jane and the worms inside her are absolutely terrifying, and while I would say I’m excited to learn more about her, I wouldn’t be complaining if the institute staff never had to deal with her again. Also the text episode made me, if you’ll excuse my language…squirm. Honestly, this might just be my favorite episode so far. The way that the plot threads from previous episodes connected here was extremely satisfying, and needless to say, I’m very excited and horrified to see where the show goes from here.

- Episode 23, Schwartzwald 🇩🇪

Statement of Albrecht von Closen, regarding a discovered tomb near his estate in the Black Forest.

Worst episode ever because Jon didn’t do a German accent, smh. Ok but in all seriousness, I really liked this one! It wasn’t the strongest in terms of complex themes in my opinion, but it had a great vibe, and was still very interesting, entertaining, and decently creepy. Having a “statement” written before the archives was founded is a really cool idea that’s executed perfectly here, and while we didn’t learn that much about Jonah Magnus, I still found it cool to get a first glimpse of the archives’ history. (Also, given the eye imagery that appears both in here and in other episodes, I can’t help but feel like Albrecht’s wording of Jonah having “good eyes” or something like that is a little weird…) And…now that we have the instance of something that isn’t a statement, but is important being in the archives, I absolutely agree with the idea that Gertrude Robinson organized these poorly on purpose, so that Jon would get the knowledge he needed to have. Regardless, this whole episode had the vibes of a classic ghost story, which while not as weird and off-putting as some of the other horror here, was still a nice change of pace overall. The descriptions of The Schwartzwald were really well done and added to the atmosphere, and I just like the fact that we have another historical episode, that’s also set outside of The UK. Also, the way that they played with the time period at the end was amazing, I already had my suspicions due to the eye imagery, but the reveal of Mary Keay (and therefore Gerard Wa- I mean Keay) being a descendant of Albrecht was still really cool. I also do wonder if the Arabic book was eventually found by Jurgen Leitner in the future…eh, food for thought. Lastly, I loved Martin jumping in out of nowhere, it was both funny, and a grim reminder about how fucked the archives supposedly are, yippee!

Wow, these are a lot longer than my previous thoughts. This, my sweet children, is a phenomenon called “brain rot”.

- Episode 24, Strange Music 🪆

Statement of Leanne Denikin, regarding an antique calliope organ she possessed briefly in August 2004.

Jon, honey, are we not going to elaborate on the fact that one of ✨the horrors✨is literally inside the institute? Like, HELLO? That’s not terrifying at all! Anwyays, this episode continues the trend of making me scared of things I’m not initially scared of, yippee! It had great vibes as well, the weird shit in the attic was made to be as creepy as possible. Initially, I didn’t find this one to be too scary, and figured it was going to go in the direction of “music makes people feel kind of weird”. AND THEN JOSHUA GETS KILLED AND TURNED INTO A DOLL HELLO??!!! Like, I know he was kind of a toxic boyfriend, but DAMN, whatever was behind the calliope and the dolls did NOT have to go that far. (Also until the end I thought he might be Joshua Gillepsie, and like, I don’t care how toxic he is, but you do not dump a guy who bested an evil coffin with his freezer.) Outside of that, It was really cool to meet Sasha! I like her voice, and the introduction was quite funny. (Also, even as someone who has lived in England for over two years, and has a family that is 90% British, nothing hurt more that Jon’s “Americans”.) Lastly, I have a theory, which I like to call “Ringmaster? More like cult leader.” Because I’M SORRY, but you cannot convince me that a CIRCUS, called THE CIRCUS OF THE OTHER, which possessed a HAUNTED CALLIOPE ORGAN, is anything but a cult. (Watch me when I’m inevitably wrong lmao.)

I guess now is a better time than any to say that I’m kind of wondering if there’s an in-universe reason for the music in the background? I mean, considering that the whole framing device is Jon recording these statements, I have to wonder if there’s a reason for the noise we hear, especially with the worms in Ep. 22 and the music in Ep. 24.

- Episode 25, Growing Dark ⛪️

Statement of Mark Bilham, regarding events culminating in his visit to Hither Green Chapel.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I LOVE BEING RIGHT!!! I saw the episode title and immediately assumed this would continue the lore of Episode 9, and I WAS SO RIGHT!!! (Also, I now just noticed that the PCOTDH’s symbol is a closed eye, while The Keay Family’s symbol is an open eye…my cult theory thickens…) Anyways, this was another very enjoyable episode! Firstly, even though it’s far from the first piece of media to do so, I though the way they portrayed a cult brainwashing someone when they’re most vulnerable was very well handled and pretty depressing. I also really enjoyed how the episode isn’t the most weird and paranormal on it’s own, but the knowledge of the connections to Ep. 9 makes us know that it DEFINITELY is, even when the characters in the story don’t. The episode was certainly very spooky, the description of the spinach and the dark church definitely got me. (Also my mom came into my room briefly and when she left she accidentally turned off the light and I nearly screamed.) There were also some really interesting plot threads set up here, like the chanting of the northern most human settlement in the world, the mention of “three hundred years waiting”, and I also wonder if “Mr. Pitch” is an alias for “Detective Rayner.” then…the ending. Holy shit. You know, maybe I DON’T need to know what happened to Gertrude….

Episode 26, A Distortion ☕️

Statement of Sasha James, assistant archivist at the Magnus Institute, London, regarding a series of paranormal sightings. Statement taken direct from subject.

I…what…I don’t even…we are so fucked. Ok, there’s a LOT going on here, but I’ll try my best to formulate my thoughts as clearly as possible. Firstly, this episode easily scared me the most so far, I agree with Jon when he says that the horrors being somewhat friendly is scarier than them being antagonistic, like HOLY SHIT this one was unnerving. But with that out of the way…uh…let’s talk about Sasha! She’s really cool, I like how her character gives us a lot more insight into what working in the archives is like for a fairly regular person (i say this because Jon is weird as fuck and Martin is too nice to be normal, and I mean that as kindly as possible). But…while I don’t necessarily doubt her status as the most level-headed person in the archives, I don’t think that’s saying much. Like, she saw a creepy guy with weird-ass hands who spoke in riddles and knew too much about her and her coworkers, and followed him into a dilapidated building, also she works at the council of ghost stories despite not liking horror. Like, no offense, I’m sure she’s overall an intelligent person, as are most people in the archives, but none of them are beating Joshua Gillepsie anytime soon (yes I’m still thinking about him.) But mentioning the guy with fucked up hands, WHO OR WHAT EVEN WAS THAT??!! I have very little ideas as to how this “Micheal” even connects to the greater picture. I know some people connected him to the mentions of the man with bones in his hands in Episode 8, but that honestly reminds me more of the Leitner in Episode 17. Outside of that, his name is quite interesting, I initially thought that he might be Micheal Crew, but given that Sasha doubts it being his real name, I have my suspicions (although it would give us a connection between this, the words in Episode 8, and The Boneturner’s Tale….hm….) However, I could absolutely see him being Micheal Keay, as he gives off enough ghost vibes to pass as him (and I’m assuming that if Gerard’s dead, Micheal is as well.) Also he is not described as having a Lichtenburg figure on him so…yeah. Lastly, we have the return of THE SEX WORMS. And as happy(?) as I am to see that The Magnus Archives, a podcast developed by RustyQuill.com, that is also licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License, is continuing it’s message of staying abstinent, all things considered, that was absolutely terrifying. I just LOVE the knowledge that the worms are a hive-mind and that Jane might not be the source, I LOVE THAT SO MUCH. In conclusion, I am probably going to sleep with a fire extinguisher tonight, and I am very scared for what the next 14 episodes have in store for me.

Also I guess I’ll mention Tim (the archival assistant, not the dead guy) here because why not. So far I’m getting major bastard energy from people’s descriptions of him, which means I will either love or hate him. Also I found it very funny but also kind of sad that Jon said he only trusts Tim to not prank him in Episode 11, and then he pulled a prank shortly before this statement took place.

- Episode 27, A Sturdy Lock 🔑

Statement of Paul McKenzie, regarding repeated nocturnal intrusions into his home.

Ok, after everything that happened in the last episode, it was nice to get a short and sweet one here. Well, as sweet as an episode of a horror podcast can be. Overall, this one isn’t my favorite, I thought it was a little bit under the standards of creativity for the show as a whole, but that’s obviously not saying much, as it was still pretty damn good in its own right. I think it was definitely very effective with its storytelling, and credit where credit is due, it certainly brought out my fear of weird noises in the middle of the night. And even if I can’t personally resonate with this aspect of it, I do really appreciate how it tackled the idea of mental illness at old age, and while I’d be surprised if the statement wasn’t real, considering where the show seems to be going, it did a very good job at planting seeds of doubt in my mind. But still, it was genuinely pretty crushing how Paul had no proof throughout the entire thing, along with how the cops treated him. It really did make me thing about what would have happened if he hadn’t washed the blood off his hands. It still had a creepy atmosphere, and the reveals at the end were pretty interesting, I hope they show us Marcus’ statement soon enough. Also, the aspect of loneliness in this one did remind me a lot of what happened in Episode 13, so I wonder if there’s some connection there. (Also, I love how I’m 27 episodes in and Jon is STILL roasting Gertrude’s organizational skills.) So while this one isn’t the most interesting for me, I still enjoyed it, and it was nice to have a slightly lighter one after Episode 26. I hope Sasha had a good few days off, she deserves it.

- Episode 28, Skintight 📷

Statement of Melanie King, regarding events at the abandoned Cambridge Military Hospital during filming in January 2015. Statement taken direct from subject.

WHOA THAT WAS SO GOOD!!! Ok, I feel like I should start off with my thoughts on the basic premise, as while those episode is certainly…not the most humorous in its execution, the premise itself kind of is. I don’t know why, but I just thought the idea of there being an in-universe competitor was a really fun concept that was executed perfectly here. It kind of reminds me of something like Hatchetfield and Clivesdale (I don’t know how many people reading this will understand that, but there seems to be overlap between TMA fans and Hatchetfield fans, and also like, shut up, let me indulge in my hyperfixations.) The bickering between Melanie and Jon was great, as was Melanie herself, I’d love to see her again as I think she oddly brought a lot to the world of the series. Although I will say that, while it doesn’t make me like him any less, Jon’s reluctance to buy into statements is a lot more frustrating when there’s another person in the room. I also absolutely love the fact that there’s an in-universe spooky podcast mentioned by name, like, come one, that’s genuinely hilarious. But comedic value aside, this one was definitely pretty creepy. In a similar vain to what Episode 23 was doing, the whole “young people enter creepy abandoned building to film stuff and then get genuinely scared” concept felt evocative of other classic horror stories, and the way they spun it into the context of the show was great. The atmosphere was definitely very creepy as well, as I have mentioned, hospitals creep me the fuck out. And lastly…oh my god, THE CONNECTIONS. So, I’ll start off by saying that all of the skin shit reminded me of what happened in Episode 18 (which I hope is true because I think some connections to other things would make me like that episode more). But that pales in comparison to the fact that we have stuff on THE ANGLERFISH, HOLY FUCK THE ANGLERFISH. I’m SO glad that they didn’t throw it away just because it was in the pilot episode. In retrospect, I think that the story of Episode 1 isn’t quite my favorite. It doesn’t really have to be, as I think the main draw of the episode is getting a first look at the framing device and general vibe of the entire podcast, but the stories didn’t really grab me until Episode 2, which is still one of my favorites. But MAN, this episode really made me appreciate the setup at the beginning so much more, and the knowledge that the people who walked into the alley didn’t necessarily die, meaning that all of those names could potentially come back, is SO exciting to me. In fact, when you consider that Sarah was kind of going through what looked like a possession, I wonder if The Anglerfish is a figure of worship in a cult, if that theory is to be true. (Also I have relatives that live in the same area as Sarah so…maybe I should tell them to watch out for their neighbor lmao.) So yeah, this…this show is just really freaking good.

Note: I have discovered the Leitner rant, and therefore I have achieved true enlightenment.

- Episode 29, Cheating Death ♟️

Statement of Nathaniel Thorp, regarding his own mortality.

I should start off by saying that I love the episode title for this, like, it’s not even metaphorical, the guy literally cheated in a game against death. Well, anyways, the main thing that caught me about the episode was how it absolutely blindsided me. While I was right about the soldier being the same as the statement giver, which I think was supposed to be obvious, everything else in those last six or so minutes left me with a wide-open jaw. (Also, can I just say that I love how poetic this guy just…decided to be? Like, I just love it when the statements really show of personalities with the way they’re written, and it comes with a cool framing device.) Regardless, I initially assumed that it was going in a very traditional line. Nathaniel cheats death, becomes immortal, and regrets it in modern day because he’s lived longer that he really should have. That, combined with the fact that “Death” didn’t seem like the one of the more creative horror monsters in the show so far, had me so prepared to just write this one off as one of my least favorites (once again, not like that’s saying much.) And then the twist comes and HOLY SHIT I WAS WRONG. The idea of there basically being multiple grim reapers at the hands of some unknowable power, who have to gain successors to finally die themselves is absolutely terrifying and extremely clever. I tip my hat to you Rusty Quill, you did a great job at fooling me. Kind of funny considering how this is a story about being punished for your hubris (which seems to be a recurring theme???) I have a few other small thoughts as well. Firstly, I can’t help but shake the feeling that Nathaniel Thorp was an actual revolutionary war soldier, but I can’t find anything online other than the character from this episode. Also, the fact that his fate remains unknown makes me think he’ll show up again, as it seems weird to NOT end the story with confirmation of his death, given the themes. Secondly, a lot of the…less than pleasant imagery here definitely reminded me of Piecemeal and The Boneturner’s Tale. I don’t remember the story inside that Leitner very well, but I might check just in case there’s any parallels between it and this statement. (Update: Not really.) And finally, I was just a little bit intrigued by the fact that we learn no one who was working at the institute in 1972 works there anymore. It’s probably nothing, but given the mysteries surrounding Gertrude’s death, I’m just a little suspicious, both in general, and of Elias because he’s still around. Overall this episode went hard, I’m still kind of stunned by what it pulled off.

Jane Prentiss statement…save me…save me Jane Prentiss statement…

- Episode 30, Killing Floor 🍖

Statement of David Laylow, regarding his time working at an industrial abattoir near Dalton.

You know what, Jon is right, there’s a lot of meat in this show. Not that I’m complaining, I mean, it does fuel my obsession with connecting the dots between statements. Regardless, while this isn’t among my favorite episodes so far, I still had a good time with it. The reason it’s not one of my favorites is purely personal, as I don’t do too well with animal violence. Like, as much as I do really appreciate how viscerally Jonny Sims can describe the statements, I will admit that the opening minutes describing the slaughter house made me more uneasy than the actual horror, and not in a particularly fun way, but it was overall fine. Speaking of the actual horror, that was actually pretty good. The endless hallways lined with doors that lead to precarious situations also kind of tapped into a personal fear of mine, but in a more fun and digestible way. And while the idea of “imagine humans being slaughtered like animals” is something I’ve seen many a time before, it was still much more well executed than many other interpretations of the idea (*cough cough*, peta) and there were also plenty of other interesting themes and ideas, like how the episode touched on the inherent horror of working in a job as gruesome as the killing floor, being enslaved to said job, and the idea that maybe we’re all just walking sacks of meat in the end, and nothing more. As for some other thoughts, I was definitely creeped out by Tom Han, I’m not sure whether or not he’s someone who spreads ✨the horrors✨or someone affected by ✨the horrors✨, and his sudden disappearance was certainly…odd. On top of that, it’s admittedly haunting to know that there’s still creepy stuff going on at the slaughter house, and that this isn’t something that happened to David, and only David. Overall, a pretty good episode, I don’t have much to say about it, but it was a fun time overall.

Tim…save me…save me Tim…

Well, if you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading! Genuinely means the world to me when there are people willing to listen to me ramble about my horrible (affectionate) interests lmao. I should have my thoughts on the final episodes of Season 1 out in due time, and while I’m sure it’s obvious, I’m absolutely hooked on this podcast. It absolutely has the potential to become one of my favorite things ever if the overarching plot becomes more involved and this is coming from someone who up until now, wasn’t all that gripped by podcasts. While I’m a little sad that I’m as late to the party as I am, then I remembered “oh yeah, I was in elementary school when this horrifying series came out”, and I’m also hopeful that I’ll be able to be around for The Magnus Protocol while it’s airing (I know it premieres in like a week but still.) Anyways, thanks for reading and hopefully you’ll be around for my thoughts on the next batch :)

[cant-get-enough-btr-forever]

Big Time Games: "Recycle Rush."

In my last post, I said I would give y'all a play-by-play of Big Time Rush online games. So, that's exactly what I'm doing.

Unfortunately, I can't upload more than 30 images per post. So, I'm only including Recycle Rush in this one. Don't worry—"Stage Rush" will come next.

Enjoy!

The rules are simple: Hit the spacebar to drop the trash on the boy below you (he catches it). The trash eventually gets dropped into a dumpster.

Also, lol—cows give you bonus points. "Green Time Rush" approves.

This is how my very first game went:

Side note: Notice how the Palmwoods only has two floors. The levels literally stack up as the game goes on. Interesting.

Let's try this again!

Carlos drops it on James...

...James drops it in the dumpster...

And, uh, yeah. That's it. That's the whole game.

Level 2: I noticed that these yellow exclamation points pop up over their heads. They let you know when the boys are about to turn around. Good to know! I just wish someone had told me...

Suddenly, a wild Kendall appears.

To accommodate this new arrival, the Palmwoods morphs into a 3-story building. See what I mean?

Kendall valiantly carries out his duty.

Level 3: There is now a 2-liter bottle magically floating in the hallway.

So this is how you get bonus points—you need to drop the trash on the bottle and the guy simultaneously. It isn't always a bottle; sometimes it's a banana peel or a soda can. Clearly, you need a bit of timing (and patience) for this.

But since I'm an expert, I pulled it off. On the second try.

Ah, Logan. 'Bout time you showed up.

Side note: The elevators' positions don't make sense. Why are they so far apart from each other?

Crap. I dropped trash all over the lobby. Bitters is not gonna like this.

Logan's exclamation point works well here—it's like he's saying, "What the—dude, seriously?! I'm over here!"

Anyhoo, I was able to restart Level 3…

…only to fail once more.

This is not good for my ego.

'Tis but a scratch. I brushed myself off and labored on.

Level 4:

Listen, I really wanted to know what would happen if I dropped the trash on the Cow.

Don't make the mistakes that I made, friends. You must always ensure that the boy is under the trash, too.

Still, it was hilarious to watch the Cow plummet whilst enveloped in a trash bag.

I corrected my actions, and was rewarded with the sight of Logan carrying the whole frickin' frackin' Cow on his back.

Ahem. Anyway.

Does this mean that they're going to recycle a...a cow??

Whew. The Cow jumped out. By the way, in this level, the dumpster moves from side to side. Is the Palmwoods haunted again, or...?

Level 5: The guys are now speed-walking. Thanks, boys. Make my job harder for me.

Also, here's something bizarre: Carlos starts out on the top floor, while James is directly below him.

Moments later, Carlos is several floors below, and James is in the lobby.

Well, they ain't called Big Time RUSH for nothing!

Level 7 (Level 6 is identical to Level 5): Okay, everything is going about the sa—

Wait.

Oh, dear God.

There are two Jameses.

Who recycles more garbage than YOU?

I love this game, guys.

From here onwards, the difficulty doesn't change much. So, I simply got my score to 10,000 before stopping. Which took a lot longer than I'm willing to admit.

Final Thoughts: This is quite fun. More fun than I thought it would be, which is always nice. I give it an 8/10.

If anyone wants to give it a whirl, here it is. Be sure to use a computer, and not a mobile device.

Happy playing! 😁

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the Asshole for telling on my sister for not logging her full hours at work?

For a bit of context I, 17, and my sister, 14, have a bit of a rocky relationship. Our childhood was a bit rough and we coped with it in different but equally bad ways. One thing that we both used to be really bad about was yelling and saying not so nice things to each other, though I can't remember the full extent of this on my end because I was really heavily dissociated at that time, but I know hers a bit more, because unlike me, she has never stopped. Its gotten better, but not much. It is still bad enough that I will walk out of rooms of she is in them and I am irritated at something else because it will end badly. I am a lot better about it, though I still get passive aggressive at times, and am still working on the finer aspects of not accidentally saying mean/dismissive things.

One thing we have been clashing with recently is her job at a local farm. Its under the table even though she is of working age where we live, and she gets paid 8$ which is below minimum wage where we are. She has also been expected to work a couple of times past 10pm alone and in general, her jobs just has a lot of red flags which I have pointed out. It is a frequent topic when I pick her up and she always without fail, gets pissed at me. Like yelling at me in my car that she knows what she's doing and that I shouldn't care. I still do as her older sibling but shes 14, what do you expect.

Tonight it all kinda came to a head when she asked me how many hours she should report thst she worked for the month, 58 or 64. I asked her how many she worked and to just put that, to which she told me she worked around 80. Her days and hours do line up with that from what I know do I told her to put that. She started going on about how the owner of the farm needs that money to pay the other people who work there and how there have been some days where shes only worked 3 or 4 hours. I gave her the benefit of the doubt on that even though I rarely pick her up earlier than 8:30-9pm, much less 7, but my dad also drives her so I didn't fight on it and said in that case she should log 70 and make sure she starts marking in her phone when she starts and stops for the day. She yells at me a bit that its none of my business and eventually tells me that its too late since she already told her boss it was 60. Now, this is where she really got angry, I told her that I was telling our dad then because he would never let her make a decision like that. She is now even more mad and when we pull up to my house she says I don't have to worry about it and that she will just tell him, still yelling at me mind you), and stomps up to our house. So I pull what was most likely a petty move and text my dad right then. I would havelet her tell him but she has lied in the past before about that in similar situations and every time I've gotten in trouble for knowing and not telling him. He is currently on nightshift so I couldn't tell him in person, which is why I texter.

After this my sister went to my stepmom, and went off about what happened, how I was in the wrong, how it isn't any of my business, and how I should have kept my nose out of it. My stepmom does say she is right in that it isn't my place to say something, but that she shouldn't be lying and underreporting her hours. My dad called about it about an hour after I sent the text and after getting a quick rundown from me, called her. I don't know what is happening from there, but I am now really doubting if I should have said anything. She needs to learn the value of her work and refuses to listen to me about it, but I also want to have a better relationship with her and think this may have fucked it up.

What are these acronyms?

[robinismywifee]

stargazing || e. williams

pairings ellie williams x fem!oc/reader carl grimes x oc x enid rhee (platonic bffs) daughter!oc x father!daryl dixon

summary TWD & TLOU crossover, takes place in alexandria basically if the group never met negan, daryl and aaron find joel and ellie and bring them in, 16 y/o ellie, mention of a not that important death in season 6 of TWD

warnings NSFW, dom!ellie, fingering, pet names (babe), smoking weed, mentions of drinking, ellie & oc are both virgins

a/n im mainly saying oc instead of reader because im using a name for her, (aimees/aime) cause i hate writing y/n but feel free to pretend its your name instead! any feedback & notes are appreciated, you may send requests but they have to be TWD or TLOU charaters x reader otherwise i wont do them, (no promises in general) this is my first tumblr post still trying to figure tumblr, out sorry if i fucked it up or something, i also dont proof read so theres probably a couple mistakes sorry 😭

wordcount 7.5k

carl placed down a red uno card, i smiled at that, placing down my red 5, "uno!" i shouted, holding the card close to my chest so they couldnt peek, my smile was soon dropped as enid placed down a green 2, i stood up placing my card down, revealing my red 4 to them, "i already lost" i mumbled, "rage quiter" carl called me, "im not a rage quitter! im just done playing with cheaters" i crossed my arms

"you so are a rage quitter aimees!" enid exclaimed, "and you so are a cheater!" i exclaimed back, "how are we cheating?" carl asked, "uh, cause you guys just are" i shrugged

"yeah right" carl scoffed jokingly

i watched them as they finished playing their uno game, enid ended up winning, "what time is it?" enid asked as she collected the messy cards around the table and placed them in the box

"uhhh.." i stood up, peeking my head in the kitchen to check the clock, "9:45" i yawned, i had woken up at 5am to go on a run and my eyes were getting heavy, ive been waiting for dad to get back but he hasnt yet.

"i think im gonna head back" i said, one thing about me is that even after being here for almost a year now, i still havent gotten use to sleeping in a real bed, at night in a real house, and i still have yet to call where i was staying, 'my home'

"yeah, me too" enid stood up aswell, "uhm.. enid?" i asked her, she knew what i was about to ask immediately, i hated sleeping alone, anytime my dad was out, i would ask enid to sleepover with me

enid gave me a sad-eyed look, "im sorry amiees, but i told maggie and glenn i'd be home for tonight" i shook my head with a small smile, "no worries, goodnight enid" i waves her off, she gave me a slight nod before she existed the house

i walked into the kicthen, carl was placing the snacks away, "hey" i said, he looked over his shoulder, his white eyepatch covering his old wound, "hey, i thought you weny home, whats up?" he asked, turning to face me

"could you please stay with me tonight? daryl hasnt gotten back yet, and enid needed to get home" i asked, "yea, let me just write my dad a note" he nodded with a smile

-

"hey, aimees" i heard a voice shake me awake, the sudden touch made me shot up and pull out my pocket knife that was under my pillow, but i immediately put it down when i realized it was just carl

"shit, you scared me" i panted, placing my knife back under my pillow, "sorry, i didnt mean to, but its almost 6:30 and im pretty sure your dads home" he said, his eye was tired and his hair was scruffy, meaning he had just woken up, but the topic of my dad made me shot out of bed, only in my socks, pajama plaid pants, and a thickstrap white tanktop without a bra, carl wore a grey hanley shirt and sweatpants

i opened up my door and ran down the steps, my dad was in the kicthen, talking to some other people but i didnt really care about them or have time to see who it was, i just ran up to my dad and hugged him which he of course hug back

"fuck you, you said you'd be back in a day!" i exclaimed as i pulled away, "i know, im sorry aimees, the storm slowed us down" he replied looking down at me, i knew the reason why he took an extra day was because of the rain storm but i couldnt care less, i still worried the worse possible thing

"i dont really care dad, you still said a day" i said with my head tilted, i wasnt actually mad, and he knew that, i was just annoyed that it took longer then normal and missed him

"yeah, i know, i missed you too" he rubbed my back gently, "can we have breakfast together? or are you gonna go back out again" i asked, "uh.." he hummed, i sighed, thinking he had to go back out again, but his gaze was around the room and not on me, i thought maybe he was looking at carl, but im always with either him or enid when he gets back

i turned my head to see what he was looking at, 2 people i've never seen before stood awkwardly a couple feet away from me, there was a man about the same age as my dad, and a girl about my age, the girl wore a white tanktop similar to mine with a white bandage around her right arm, with black skinny jeans, and converse. she had a side bang and her brown hair in a ponytail

"uh-" i stood there for a moment, before looking back to my dad, "are these the people?" i asked, he nodded slightly, i glanced back over to them, and back at my dad, "why are they here?" i asked, over the months, my dad and aaron have been bringing people and even a whole community back, they never once came to our house right, i mean maybe a few says after to stop by and say thanks or whatever, but they had just gotten here and were standing in our kicthen, dirt and sweat stuck to their skin

"ricks still out with michonne so i was tellin them the rules, and you're gonna give ellie some of your clothes" he pointed briefly at the girl, i turned back around, i nodded, i turned my head back to see carl standing there awkwardly too, "im ellie" the girl waved, her face was red, she. must be hot, i went to intruduce myself but the girl bumped her elbow into the man, motioning for him to intruduce himself, "im joel" he said, "hi.. im carl" carl said, standing behind me, "im aime" i smiled, i was actually quite happy dad brought home a girl my age, although carl and enid denied them dating, i still felt like i was always third wheeling

"aimees, why dont you go show them to their house next door, i havent slept in days" i didnt have time to reply as he walked off

"okay.." i mumbled, i looked down to my pajamas hanging over my socks, "uh, could you guys give us a second?" i asked, looking at joel and ellie, joel gave a stern nod, i looked over at carl, grabbing his wrist and led him away with me, i could feel the girls eyes on me as i left.

"i hated meeting new people before the dead started walking, and i hate it even more now" i whispered to carl as we walked up the steps, "yeah, i can tell" he said sarcastically, i shoved him as he hit the wall which made us both laugh

carl changed in my bathroom, as i changed in my room, putting on jeans, a bra, my shoes, and my holster with my gun and knife

"you coming with me to give them a tour right?" i asked carl, looking at him, "nah" he shrugged, i hit his shoulder, "yes you are" i yelled whispered, before we entered the kitchen, joel was in the same spot, while ellie was close up at an old family photo of me, my dad, and my mom

"sorry for the wait, we just woke up" i spoke, causing ellie and joel to look up from my sudden voice, "lets go" i nodded, as they followed me out my house

"uh, so, your guy's house is right next to mine" i said as i began to walk up the steps of the empty house, "hey aimees, im gonna go see if enid and maggie need help with the fence" he said from behind joel and ellie, ellie glanced at carl, but joels eyes stayed locked on ellie, i slowly died inside when he said that, i could tell ellie was looking at me but i still flipped off carl as he walked away with a smirk

"so where you guys from?" i asked, "houston" joel answered, that explains the accent, "boston" ellie answered, i looked at them confused, "oh you guys arent father and daughter? how do you know each other?" i asked, "long story" ellie answered, "okay, well, i mean.. this is your house, uhh, i dont think theres any blankets in your bedrooms and theres not any food, clothes or shower stuff, so you guys can like, i dont know, get situated? while i ran around alexandria and collect you guys a bunch of shit" i shrugged, unsure of what else to say

they both nodded, "ill try not to take to long, ill be back in maybe 30 minutes?" i said, unsure myself of how long it would take, "okay, thank you aime" joel nodded, "oh, uh, i know i introduced myself as aime but actually call me aimees, nobody calls me aime its actually kinda weird.. okay, see you" i said as i speed walked out the house

i walked in my house and let out the biggest sigh.

that was the most awkwardest thing ever.

i walked to my room, and took out about half my clothes for ellie, she only had a small school bookbag, so she probably only had a pair of underwear and some socks in there, if she was gonna live here now, she needed clothes

i folded them up, i was giving her my dark blue tanktop with spaghetti straps that was starting to fade, a grey tanktop with thick straps, a tan hanley that was too tight to fit me, a plaid flannel, light blue jeans, jean shorts, plaid pajama pants, 2 pairs of underwear, a black bra, and a pair of thick white socks. i hope thats good enough

i grabbed a basket and set everything in it, i opened the closet next to my bathroom, placing body washes, shampoos, and conditioners in the basket, along with 2 toothbrushes, 2 things of toothpaste, and a razor and tampons for ellie

i figured i'd drop what i had off right now since they we're probably dying for a shower, plus the basket was over flowing

i knocked on there door, but nobody came, i went to knock again but a voice from inside came- "COMING!" i could tell by the voice that it was ellie, as joels is 10 times deeper and has no emotion

i waited for a moment before the door opened, "hi ellie" i greeted, she stood there looking at me for a moment, she seemed she was deep in thought, "oh! sorry, come in" she said, opening the door wider, i smiled walking in, she shut the door behind me, "i- i dont have everything right i just brought clothes and shower stuff since i figured that was probably the first thing you would want to do, and while your showering i was gonna get the rest" i said, basket in hand

"oh- right- yeah, thank you" she said, taking the basket from me, "i didnt bring any clothes for joel cause i dont know where to get him any and my dad was asleep, but ill work on finding him stuff" i added, she nodded looking up at me, "hes passed out right now, and probably will be for the rest of the day" she shrugged, i laughed at her saying it so serious, she laughed with me, "okay, well, enjoy your shower.. im supposed to tell you to not use up too much hot water, but knock yourself out, i mean, i know on my first day i did" i said before i left her house

-

its been a 3 days since ellie and joel joined alexandria, ellie hasnt really gone outside at all, i havent really seen her since the first day of her being here, only through our windows, our rooms are both upstairs and our windows face eachother, they have blinds but i didnt realize her room was the one across from mine until i was about to sneak out of my window for a smoke the other night

joel been out a lot more then ellie, asking ways to help out, joel was scary, i avoided him, but to be fair, i avoided everyone who wasnt from the orginal group or who wasnt in alexandria when we got there

just like deanna had done for us way back at the start, carol was throwing a welcome party for ellie and joel, i knew carol didnt really care for them joining us, it was just her way of making herself seem like an innocent sweetheart. i admired her tactics, but i definitely was not looking forward to it.

"you guys are going to the party right?" i asked carl and enid, "my dads gonna make me" carl answered, i looked over to enid, she shrugged, "i dont know"

carl smiled, as we both looked at enid for an answer, "still don't know if ill go, i always thought it was stupid and weird when deanna had them and now carols having them?" enid said, "okay well, youll be missing out" i sighed

-

here i was, walking to the house with open doors and music pouring out of it, my dad was by my side, "you know, ellies also 16, you should try to be friends with her" he said, "yea, yea, yea, i know thats the only thing youve been telling me for the past 2 weeks, 'oh youll love her, you guys would be best friends, she annoys the shit out of this guy like how you annoy the shit out of me'" i mocked my dads deep voice, thinking back to how he would come back from spying on them to see if they were safe and tell me about ellie

"she hasnt come out of her shell yet, but i do really think you'd make a great pair" he said as we walked into the house, "im gonna go get a drink and find rick, go find ellie" he pushed me into the crowd, i scoffed, he acts like hes social when i know damn well the only people he'll be talking to is rick and carol.

i searched the crowd for carl, i couldnt find him but i did see ellie with her arms crossed talking with joel, she looked so uncomfortable and so did he, god do i feel bad

i walked through the crowd, making my way to them, while i was making my way to them, some people pulled joel away to get a drink- or whatever adults do

ellie looked clueless

"hey" i said, placing a hand on her shoulder to let her know i was there over the loud music, she jumped and looked at me, "oh, hi" she said, i could hear the nervousness in her voice, "im sorry about all this, you're practically being forced to go somewhere you dont want go to and forced to talk with people you dont know, i told rick and carol you guys werent the party type but they insisted it was the 'polite thing to do'" i explained, putting airquotes for my last words

ellie seemed to soften a bit at my words, "uh- yea, its just super weird going to a party when 5 days ago you were sweating your ass off trying to find a place to stay the night" she said, looking around, "yeah, trust me, i know how you feel, we didnt create this place, me and my group got taken in by aaron and his boyfriend, the leader at the time was named deanna, she threw a party for us too, and when she died, the leader of my group took over to be the leader of alexandria.. rick" i explained

"wheres your boyfriend?" ellie randomly asked, i furred my brows, "what?" i asked, "uh, the one with the long hair and eyepatch" she asked, "carl?" i asked in a high pitch questioning voics, "oh, yeah, carl" she nodded, "carl?" i asked again, she thinks im dating carl? "yeah?" she asked confused, "oh god, me and carl are like siblings, never in infinity years would we ever date! im gonna puke just thinking of that!" i exaggerated, "oh sorry, its just, my first day here, you guys came out of the same room together in your pajamas and stuff"

"oh! yea, he just slept over, i hate being alone" i explained, "me too" she said with a smile, "sorry, but can we please go somwhere else? i cant stand this crowd" i asked, she nodded, i took her hand in mine, dragging her through the crowd until i found carols bedroom, she wouldnt mind us being in here

"what do you like? any hobbies?" i asked, sitting on the edge of carols bed, ellie sat down next to me, "i love comics, joel somehow finds the best ones, and i have a notebook that i write and draw in" she said happily, "oh no shit? i love comics and drawing too!" i said back with a smile

"so have you and joel been with each other for awhile? he seems pretty protective over you" i asked, "just like, 3 years, but i cant imagine my life without him" she smiled, "i cant imagine my life without my dad, or without a lot of the orginal group, like rick, glenn, carl, carol, maggie, michonne, half the people here are my family"

-

i spent the whole night talking with ellie, she was actually really nice and funny, we told eachother a bunch of our crazy/scary stories from over the years, and what it was like for life before it

carl and enid never showed up, i told her a lot about them, more so carl since me and carl have been together since the start, we grew up together and i dont know what i would do if he died

but we had stayed after hours not realizing the party ended, still in carols room, she opened the door with an exhausted look, she didnt notice us, me and ellie side eyed eachother before we bursted out laughing

that seemed to be a reoccurring occurrence between the two of us, we both kept on bursting out laughing at stupid stuff

but at the sight of ellie, carol put on her sweetheart face again, "oh! girls, im sorry i didnt know you were in here" she said, bringing a hand to her chest, "the parties over?" i asked, after calming down from laughter, "yes, it just ended, and joel was looking for you ellie, you better get back home before he starts to worry more" carol said with a smile, "yeah, thanks for the party mrs.." ellie said as we stood up, "just call me carol, oh and you too aimees, daryl was wandering around for you" she smiled with a nod

and with that me and ellie left her house, as soon as we got out of her house i let out a giggle, "its the end of the world and you're still worried about manners?" i thought outloud, thinking back to how she tried to call carol mrs, "hey! you never know, some adults are really strict about that stuff" she defended

"okay, i guess ill see you tomorrow?" i asked, as we made it infront of her house, "yea sound-" ellie was interrupted with joel yelling her name, "ellie! i looked everywhere for you! where were you? i havent seen you since the party started-"

i just smiled at joels protectiveness and slipped myself away and went back to my house

"hey dad" i smiled, seeing him on the couch, "oh good, i was waiting for you to come back so i could sleep" he said getting up, "you seem happy?" he questioned, i hated parties, so this was weird that i was smiling a bunch after one, "yeah! i hung out with ellie the whole time, shes really funny! i really like her" i said with a hudge grin, "told you, you'd like her" he nodded, not supprised

"so was it just the two of you or was carl and enid there? i didnt see them tonight" he asked, now leaning against the kitchen counter, "just us, i have no idea where carl and enid are, which kind of sucks since i wanted ellie to meet them, but also its good because i really enjoyed hanging out with her alone" i said, my voice bright from talking with ellie for hours

"im glad you had fun" he nodded with a smile, "oh! do you wanna know what! now when i hangout with carl and enid, ellie will be there, so i dont have to third wheel, i mean they were always being so gross infront of me like complimenting each other and stuff, like ew, and now me and ellie can be grossed out together!" i said happily, my dad laughed, "im glad we found ellie and joel too, can you please tell me more in the morning over breakfast? im ready for bed"

"yea, of course, goodnight dad, i love you" i said, giving him a quick hug, "love you sweetheart, get to bed too, its way past when you should be asleep" he said, kissing me on my head, "yea.. yea, whatever" i mumbled sarcasticly as he walked to his bedroom

i turned off the lights and went to my bedroom, i unbuttoned my jeans and went to pull them off when i felt something in my pocket, i sighed, forgetting i had it, as i pulled out the bag of joints

this would have been perfect for me and ellie, would of been 10x funner.

but, i wasnt tired, and now that i was holding up the rolled up cannabis, i really, really wanted it.

i thought about carl and enid, enids never been high before, but me and carl have a few times, and i don't even know where they are. maybe i can have just one joint to myself..

another thing i do on nights when im not tired, is go to my roof and look at the stars, usually while i smoke cigarettes but weeds even better.

i looked out my window to see that the sky was clear, i smiled to myself, i walked over and turned off my lamp, okay, only one. i placed the other two joints in the bag in between my folded shirt in my dresser, letting the one joint hang in between my lips

i opened up my window, cringing at the squeeked noise, i stuck my legs out, letting myself fall onto the roof, i climbed to the back of my house still on the roof so i was facing the big fence and not out in the open, the only way people would be able to see me is if someone specifically looked in my direction through ellies window

i pulled out my lighter and lit the weed, sucking the toxins into my lungs before blowing out

i sat there for a couple minutes looking at the stars above me, they always fasanated me, i looked to the moon, it was a full moon tonight, of maybe it was a just a full waning or waxing gibbous, i dont know to be honest

the sound of a window opening drawed my attention, i shot my head to the sound, joint in between my lips, to see ellie climbing out of her window

i watched as she hopped onto her roof, shutting her window, and hopped from her roof to mine, as our houses were really close together, she let out a pant, from being out of breath

"hey" she said as she stood there above me, she had already changed into pajamas, wearing plaid baggy ones that were too long for her, ones that were previously mine, and she wore the grey thick strapped tanktop i had also given her

her hair was down, something ive never seen of ellie, some of her auburn hair was over shoulders while some was on her back, they reached a couple inches unde her shoulders and her eyes glistened in the moonlight

"uh, aimees? you barley smoked any of that, you good?" she asked with a smile on her face, "oh, yea, im-" i started saying, realizing i just stared at her, but i spoke really loud as i talked not realizing how loud i was being, "shh! come on, i dont want joel or your dad to wake up" she whisper shouted

"right, sorry" i whispered back, she came over to me and sat down, "can i?" she asked, reaching her hand out, i passed her the joint, and watched her as she looked up to the sky, while taking a long drag of it, she closed her eyes as she sucked it, enjoying the feeling

my eyes were beading onto her, watching every detail on her face, the way her eyebrows slightly scrunched as she sucked in, or how she squeezed her eyes, how her soft pink lips fitted against the rolling paper. i was so close to her our shoulders were brushing against each other, and i noticed things about her that i havent noticed before, she had beautiful green eyes, ive noticed her eyes being not brown before, but now i could actually see what color they were, and her freckles complimented her face so well, they danced all around her cheeks and the tip of her button nose. i even got to exaime her brown eyebrows, i could see the slit she had through it, her eyebrows were also pretty straight, but they looked so perfect on her. her side profile was honestly the best ive ever seen in my whole life. the way her lips moved out, how her adorable nose arched perfectly and how- wait are her lips moving?

"aimees?" she asked, okay yeah they were, "sorry, what?" i asked, looking into her eyes, "you zoned out on me again" she commented, "sorry its just, you look really pretty" i said, still mesmerizing her in a trance, she turned to me, i could see her cheeks turning a shade of pink, before she looked back infront of us

thats kind of weird, i mean, i was just saying she looked pretty, i say that to enid all the time and she just compliments me back or says thanks, but ellie got flustered for some reason and tried to hide her face with no comments

we passed the weed arond in silence for a moment, "you do this a lot?" she asked, "usually just with cigarettes, but i got lucky and found this on a run a few weeks ago.. i love the stars"

"i love the moon" she remarked, i looked to her with a smile on my face, "if i could anywhere i'd go there" she said, looking at the moon above her, "can i come with?" i asked, she turned to me, our faces inches apart, "yeah but.. be aware, joels coming too, and hes a big grump sometimes" she answered, i laughed at that, giggling as i rested my forehead on her shoulder to contain myself, i hear giggles come from her too

"okay, shh, shh we have to be quiet" i whispered, leaning back up to face her, "youre telling me to be quiet? youre the one who started laughing!" she said with a smile as the joint hung between her fingers, "urhg, give me that" i said, taking the joint from her and puffing a few

"its not my fault, you make me laugh more then like, anyone ive ever met" i said after a couple seconds in silence, "really?" she asked looking back to me, "mhm" i nodded, letting out another giggle at nothing, which caused ellie to giggle with me too, we fell onto eachother laughing up a storm, "oh! oh my god! i cant breath!" ellie said inbetween laughs, "stop!" i cried, gripping her thigh for support, trying to catch my breath

we kept on laughing like that for probably too long, after a few minutes, i ended up even closer then before, our laughter dying down but smiles still held on our faces

"whats your last name?" i asked her out of the blue, which caused us to laugh a little some more, "williams?" she sid in a questioning tone, "w-why did you say it like that? are you sure thats your last name or did you make it up because-"

"no! no! thats real, my last name is williams, i was just- cause you asked so randomly!" she explained, "okay, well, ellie williams, you-" i said, pointing at her and using a tone for the word you, "-are my new favorite person"

"and you- aime-" she stopped for a moment, "whats your last name?" she whispered, "dixon" i whispered back, "you! aime dixon, are my new favorite person" she said, usuing a tone and pointing at me for you like i did, but usuing a tone and pointing at herself for me

this caused us both to laugh again, i guess weed made us a bit giggly, we seemed to be eliciting laughter not matter what

"you know what we should do?" i asked, "hmm?" she hummed, i took a puff a weed, noticing it was almost all gone, "we should get married"

i noticed her cheeks start to turn red, "i mean, how could i not want to marry you! look how cute you are with your blushing" i said with a hudge smile, "i accept, mrs williams" ellie said to me with blush still wearing her face, "aime williams! hm, i like the sound of that!" i laughed

"hey, i have idea" i said, looking down at the blunt, "yea wife?" she asked, "my dear husband, we could finish this joint in one puff, shall i shotgun it to you?" i asked with a smirk, "first of all, wife, im your wife, secondly, i dont know what that is" she deadpanned, i let out a couple giggles from her

"okay, well if im the wife, how can you be the wife? anyways, why dont i just show you what a shotgun is?" i offered, still smirking, "hmm, okay fine" she said with a smile, unsure with what was to come

i smirked devilishly, i blew the rest of the joint into my mouth, before flicking it off the house, i brought my hands to ellies face, moving her face to mine, my eyes were closed but i could tell she was blushing

ellies mouth was slightly ajar in shock, so i blew the smoke into her mouth, the feeling of her warm, soft, silk lips, her nose tickling with mine and the way my stomach was attacking itself with a swarm of butterflies from us touching like this

the weed did something to me, because i couldnt help myself, and without any thoughts, only the feeling of want, i pressed my lips more firm to hers, and moved them onto hers, my lips were dancing on hers and she didnt move.

i lifted my lips up for a split second, releasing the smoke from our mouths, i pulled away, realizing what i had just done, my eyes started to feel with tears looking down at her, my hands still holding her face, only inches away. i was so goddamn embarrassed and mad at myself. why the fuck would i do that? i dont even like girls, im not gay, and i definitely dont like a girl i just met 4 days ago. it had to be the weed because im not a lesbian, and judged by the complete silence between us, and ellies face, she isnt eithe-

my angered thoughts were interrupted as ellie leaned into me, tilted her head as she pressed her blushed face to mine, now our lips danced together, i could smell her breath, it smelt of mint toothpaste and marijuana, but i wanted more of it, i wanted to taste it

as ellies hands gripped my shoulders, and mine gripped her face, i brushed my tongue against her lips, getting a slight taste of her, she didnt open her mouth, so i took my left hand from her cheek and placed it on her waist, rubbing her skin and plulling her closer to me, the sudden contact made her mouth open slightly, and i took that as an opportunity to slip my tongue into hers

not only was the smell of marijuana filling my nose, but the smell of the shampoo i gave her was lingering, i think the scent was lavander, either way, it smelt good, delicious, and i wanted even more

i honestly was starting to feel lightheaded and dizzy, so i pulled away for a moment, i sucked in the air to catch my breath, but my mouth was covered again by ellies lips

this time, her tongue filled my mouth, our tongues danced, as i started to fall backwards from her leaning on me, i felt so carried away and a feeling i never felt before filled my body

i pulled away from her, standing up and dragging her up with me, we had our foreheads pressed together, panting, "come on" i whispered, as i looked into her red eyes, i pulled away from our embrace, taking her hand in mind, pulling her to the side of my window, i climbed in first, helping her climb in too

once she got in, i shut the window and shut the blinds, our light pants cramming the room, i turned around to for a pair of hands pressing against my waist and shoving me against the wall, i was met once again with her lips

i couldn't help, from the sudden action, and melting deep into the kiss, and the feeling of her hands rubbing on me, i let out a small moan into her mouth, i hadnt realized it until it already left

my cheeks went red from embarrassment, hoping she didnt hear, but she pulled away, i couldnt bare to look her in her eyes, i stared at the ground, looking down at our socked feet on the carpet

ellies right hand moved off of my waist, i thought she was about to freak out and leave or something, but she placed a hand on my chin, and lifted it so my face was forced to meet hers, i expected her face to be filled with disgust, but she had a smirk on her face, her freckled cheeks bright red

"dont be shy, you have a pretty voice" she whispered, butterflies formed my heat. not my stomach, but below.

i looked at her dumbfounded, i never felt this way before. i didnt know what was going to happen after all this, what me and ellies relationship would be by tomorrow, i didnt know if i was gay- but i did know that i wanted more of her touch, i wanted to feel her touch, not only on me, but in me.

i pulled pulled the back of her neck onto my face to be met with mine, our kiss even more passionate then before, my knees felt so weak, like i could collapse at any moment, so my hands were balled into a fist gripping her tankop. her hands were squeezing my skin, i couldnt help it, i wanted to feel more of her skin

i lifted my left hand from her tanktop, and lowered them to the hem of it, before i stuck my hand underneath, trailing my hand against her skin, i stopped once my hand got to her bra, unsure of how far she wanted this to go, but her hand lifted from my waist and pulled my wrist up and underneath her bra, allowing me to feel her shape and soft skin

instead of ellies hand resting back on my waist, she snaked it under my jeans, and i felt her squeeze my ass, i had to pull away from our kiss as i let out a grunt, it would have probably came out a moan if i didnt keep my mouth squeezed shut and tried to hold it

we made out rubbing eachother for a few moments before ellies hand slid out of my jeans, i was disappointed until i felt her hands yank at the waist of my jeans, they were still unbuttoned so all she did was slid them off of me, i broke our kiss to step out of them

ellies hands went straight to the back of my bare theighs, "jump" she grunted, her voice deep and raspy, i did what she said, i jumped so my legs were wrapped around her waist as she still held me up by my theighs

as we shared a sloppy yet passionate kiss, i felt my back lift from the wall, ellie brough us across the room, and i felt myself get dropped into my bed

i could see ellie from the moon that lit our room, she crawled ontop of me, hovering over me as our hands and lips connected once again to eachother

she trailed her kiss to my jawline, i felt like i was to explode, i tilted my head so she could get more of my neck

i shouldnt be doing this, but i want to, but dads downstairs, hes asleep, but im high, we both are

my own thoughts fought eachother, i tried to bring myself to stop it, but i couldnt.

my fingertips rested on the fabric of ellies tanktop, i pulled her away for a moment, pulling off the grey top over her head, my eyes went straight to her body, and god did i feel faint.

she had a grey calvin klein sports bra on, my mouth was starting to water.

ellies hands went to my tanktop, i lifted my arms so that she could pull them over my head, i was nervous, especially since i didnt have a bra on, but i wanted it too much to stop

ellie and i stared at eachothers bodies for a moment, she leaned back in and connected her lips straight to my sweetspot of my neck, at the same time her hand went and messaged my boob, ellie was doing things to me because i couldn't even hold in my moans anymore

ellie left a trail of bruises down my neck as she went down more, and connected her lips to my nipple, my hand went to the back of her hair, squeezing her roots, right when i did so i could faintly hear ellie moan into my skin- she likes hair pulling, noted

ellie kissed my one breast and messaged my other, as i squirmed under her holding her hair

"ellie.." i whisper-moaned. "yea, babe?" she mumbled through her kisses, i felt hotter from her nickname, "please.." i whispered, i couldnt handle it anymore

ellie brought her hand and rested it between my legs, but it was inches away from my core, i squeezed my thighs together to try to make some sort of friction, but ellie moved her hands and pressed my knees away from eachother, "please what?" she asked in a dominant voicd, she obviously knew what i wanted, but wanted to hear me say it

"please-" i tried to get a full sentance out in one go, but that was near impossible, my fingertips rested on ellies pants, streching the fabric wanting them off, i was completely topless and had my pants off, yet ellie had a bra on and pants

ellie got off of me for a moment, taking her pants off, which i silently thanked her in my head for, "please what?" she asked again, her voice more raspy then before, "touch me" i moaned, she smirked, leaning in and kissing me again, i missed her lips and the taste of them

she rubbed her hand up slowly, her finger brushing against my cunt. without even thinking, my hand shot to ellies hand that was in between my theighs, and pushed it more towards it

as ellie grunted, she moved my underwear to the side, letting her fingers drag along my slit, "this wet for me baby?" she panted, "all for you" i replied, instantly connecting our lips after

ellie teased me, tracing her fingers up and down my wetness, i sunk my hips down more, trying to get more, ellie broke our kiss with a small laugh, she gave my lips another sweet kiss before she pulled away from my face, i looked up at her confused but my confused face was shortly changed to arousal, as she slipped her middle finger partly inside me

she slowly pumped her finger more into me, causing my head to go back on my pillow, ive touch myself before, but nobody had ever touched me, this was a complete new experience for me

as she pumped them in and out, i felt her start to grind her hips onto my theigh, all the fricton, i started to let out more and more moans, my mouth was closed so they werent as loud

i felt her add her ring finger in me, and curling them around my walls, her hips grinding with more pressure,i let my jaw fall, and furred my eyebrows as i moaned, ellies hand went straight to my mouth, covering any noises that escaped.. i realized for a split second that- oh that was really loud and could of easily woke up my dad- but the feeling of her fingers twirling around in me made me instantly forget about it

i couldnt help but start to grind onto her fingers, rocking my hips up and down. ellies hand slowly moved off of my mouth to grip on my hip, letting out a moans with me, her voice was so hot it made me even wetter. she then moved her hand down even more, i thought it couldnt get any better but she started to rub my clit

"mmfpph.. ell- ellie- i-" i screched, i felt my stomach tie into a tight knot, my body froze as i squeezed my eyes, while my hips stopped moving, ellies hands only sped up, and her hips started to move faster, practically jumping up and down on me, "ellie" i whinned, my eyes rolling back as i felt myself release, ellie grinded on me until her hips froze, "hh- hfphmhmm"ellie moaned, also coming to a finish, i watched her as she leaned her head back, mouth ajar, eyebrow's squishing together.

the room was filled with heavy pants- our chests going up and down as if we just had a near death experience

we stared at eachother trying to catch our breaths, ellies hair was clouding all around her face, her hair falling to her shoulders, really messy compared to how it was an hour ago, in which it was neatly brushed

ellie looked so beautiful, but there were two things i realized as i stared at her

1. we are still high as shit

2. ellie williams, a girl i met a few days ago, just fucked me

[dollsonmain]

I've forgotten how to sleep and startled myself when I looked in the mirror on my way to bed last night. The eye wells in my skull were very, very visible. Slightly less bad this morning.

So sleep hasn't happened due to both anxiety/stress and the AC having been broken for a while. AC was out for about a week and once it was fixed, I was too stressed about the absences thing at school to sleep the first night, and then too stressed last night because Son broke his school laptop yesterday and we have to tell That Guy today, AND That Guy had gone out partying with friends after work which means he drives home like that in the middle of the night and I always worry he's not going to make it. I can't sleep until I hear the garage door open. If he crashes, with the way he has our finances set up, Son and I are effectively homeless immediately. Part of why I am trying to work. Him not coming home until 1am also prolonged the anticipatory anxiety of having to wait to tell him the problem and get over the aftermath.

And then I woke up at 3am like always and couldn't get back to sleep.

Anyway.

Work stuff ish again

I will not complain about being expected to work 6 hours a day because that's less than a "normal" job anyway, but really at that point I'd rather work a full 8 and get benefits.

I very much think it should be illegal to schedule people juuuuuust under the cut off for benefits to be required by labor law. You should have to either schedule people 40 hours or 20 hours, no in between, IMO. Scheduling someone exactly 20 hours gives them plenty of time to go work SOMEWHERE ELSE for the other 20 hours without having to worry about being scheduled to work 60+ hours a week because both employers are cheapskates that will work you 30 hours.

I also need to completely change my daily routines AGAIN to get to work on time.

My current-new routine is:

wake up at 3:30 and get my morning coffee

sit around and wait for That Guy to leave for work which is usually 4-4:30

Son gets up and we have the morning together

Son leaves for school at 6:50

I don't get hungry until somewhere between 7 and 9 and will have breakfast then

depending on how exhausted I am I will or will not do chores between 5 and 10

leave to walk to work at 10:20

get to work at 10:40/10:45

work 11-3

That Guy picks me up on his way home from work, though I did have to walk home yesterday

do chores

dinner between 4-5 or so

vegetable time

Now, I'm going to have to skip my morning coffee because it makes me poop and I don't want to be pooping while I'm also the only cashier at work.

So it's going to be like....

wake up around 3 and shower OR shower in the evenings and deal with being gross from night-sweats at work so wake up at 3:30, I do prefer to show up to work nice and clean but it is a gas station...

force feed myself some sort of solid food while waiting for That Guy to leave for work around 4-4:30

make sure the boy gets up no later than 5

leave to walk to work at 5:20

get to work at 5:40-5:45

work 6-whenever (she hasn't decided when????)

leave work to walk to home whenever that happens to be and I'd rather it WASN'T noon because it's going to be stupid hot, then, but stop on the store's "porch" to put on sunscreen real fast... which means I need an opaque travel size bottle for sunscreen, and eat something so I don't pass out on the way home (yesterday I took a small bread roll and some jerky and ate that and drank a second V8 Energy while walking)

get home around 1 if I left at noon because the walk home is slower than the walk to work

eat a real lunch? finally have my poopin coffee?

chores

Son and That Guy get home at 3

profit???

I'm going to have to prep and take multiple sugar drinks so my blood sugar doesn't bottom out while at work. Right now I've been taking one bottle of water with a Real Lemon lemonade drink stick mixed in and I forget to drink it but it's there so I can slam it before leaving. I'll need to also take a meal replacement shake got sugar, salt, and other nutrients, I think, and an extra water.

Manager keeps trying to get me to buy something at work before my shift starts and I'm like no thanks those are MY monies, now, you're not getting them back on your overpriced bottled water.

Today I need to do laundry, deal with the fallout of telling That Guy that Son broke his school laptop, go to Kohl's and see if I can find some New Balance cross trainers to wear to work since I will be doing walking, standing, and lifting and I think cross-trainers would be the best option AND already know NB is the brand they primarily carry, need to find a hi-vis vest or couple of belts because I'll be walking to work in the dark, and That Guy said he'd take me to dinner today for leaving me to have to walk home from work Yesterday but what does that matter? That's going to be every day from now on.

A few more paychecks and I'll look for a scooter again. Or something. Still kind of like the idea of getting a cargo trike, ngl. Would be harder to steal than a bike anyway.

I don't know what I'm going to do in the winter.

-

Running a salary and income tax calculator and factoring in about $3k in short-term hobby income, even putting that no tax is withheld, it looks like I'd expect a tax return of $3k? Because there's about $3k in tax credits??? Whatever. I'll figure it out when it's closer to the right time.

[chibivesicle]

Asks that I will never really answer. My apologies; life gets busy and I get distracted.

I'm dropping these here today, so I can clear out some of the asks from my inbox. Apologies for some of these going back to when Trigun Stampede was still airing. >_< If I don't have a clear and concise answer, I'll let things sit in the inbox but they occasionally do fall off my radar.

Uuummm sorry Anon, I meant to give this more of a response but as I got angrier at Stampede, I just couldn't bring myself to give you a well thought out reply. My overall vibes for the Christian themes that were missing in Stampede had to do how they kept a lot of the surface content, images/style/design from the original but with the sci-fi emphasis removed the weird esoteric Christian stuff and made it look that way. Vash was more willing to engage with others in the original manga/'98 anime based on what Rem taught him. Yet, we never get why he does what he does in Stampede. By changing Wolfwood from being a traveling preacher where Vash lambasts him with 'thou shall not kill' the nuance of his character's moral conflict is lost. He's a trained killer for a quasi-religious organization that might be using a Zia in a really not cool way. We also do not see him act in a self-sacrificing way, which he does from the get go in the original. The angelic body horror was gone, replaced by a sci-fi reading of plants and the concept of plant worship was missing in there as well. There is a lot of internal dialogue that many of the characters pose through the anime and manga and its just gone from Stampede and it revolves around forgiveness, violence, and justice.

For me, the complete re-interpretation of the world and loss of the moral conflict that all characters show hurt the Christian (and Buddhist) themes that underpinned the original. It really came down to how the characters acted and talked. There is no point to a gunslinger who is almost completely passive when one who is active but uses a non-lethal method based on principle. There is a chapter where Vash gets taunted by some enemy for how bad his target practice is until they determine he was that accurate at shooting someone but not killing them. The best way to summarize is that they took some of the aesthetics of the original and didn't follow through on how the characters acted. There is so much contemplation in the original and that is missing in the remake.

Let's just make this a list: 1.) Leo would actually have a real girlfriend. I already have issues with White, I think adding her in as a quasi-girlfriend was a disservice to Leo's character. 2.) Zapp would be white. Less of a manwhore perhaps? 3.) Chain would be cute as opposed to cold and distant. No drinking assholes under the table and vomiting in her bathroom later. See Meryl Stryfe.

4.) K.K. would have boobs, and somehow be more sexy than an awkward and doting mother. See Rem and Luida. 5.) Steven's scar would be smaller or missing to make him a real lady killer. Either they'd lean way too far into Steven's shady side or they'd clean it up completely. Like he'd wink at women as opposed to sleeping with them to get intel. Be Klaus #1 fan! But like all the time, making himself to work too much. His hangry side would either be missing or played up for laughs. 6.) Zed would be dropped because he's the non-human team member. What's the point of having him? 7.) Luciana Estevez would only appear in her super sexy doctor form not her silly clone or normal form.

8.) They would try to create lore and filler to explain things that you have to assume are just how things work. Or they would info dump as opposed to leaving it up to you to worry about things and figure it out from the context. 9.) The entire cast gets aged down, because having a bunch of 30+ cast members who don't have all their shit together is too embarrassing aka very realistic. e.g. K.K. has a house husband (not a good mother like Rem and Luida in Stampede), Steven will die single and alone, Daniel will die single and alone, Patrick carries a torch for Guinness but is single, Abrams is a walking disaster.

10.) Character designs which are super unique and fun, especially in the manga all get 'isekai treatment' were they look homogeneous. The whole point of the diversity of the cast is lost. Women are short and cute, men are tall and slender or tall and buff. No other options.

11.) They attempt to rationalize the 13 Kings and give deep meaning behind their behaviors. Which maybe we will get that someday, but part of the fun is how fucking chaotic they are.

12.) Hellsalem's Lot is an empty city. Somehow, the city lacks people on the streets and we don't get the rooftop betting scene between the giant stomping creature and super-sized Riel. Sex, drugs, gambling are minimized in their version.

13.) The entire Prosfair story line is cut because it is so fucking bizarre and awesome; they wouldn't understand the point of the entire game.

14.) The OST is bad.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Rereading The Fellowship of the Ring for the First Time in Fifteen Years

Holy Foreshadowing, Batman! Gandalf is SUPER psyched to get his ass under a mountain, but literally Gimli and Aragorn are like, "Nah, bro, we are worried about YOU SPECIFICALLY if we do that." And this is after Mom and Dad fought about going up Caradhras and after literally everyone is like, "We are getting super bad vibes from Moria."

But they can't go over the mountains, they can't go around the mountains, and the Gap of Rohan is too close to Isengard, so fuck it, we ball in Moria, I guess. Let's talk chapter 4, "A Journey in the Dark."

Ok, so this is a relatively long chapter (30-odd pages by my math), but wow is it mostly vibes. We start off very defeated by the anti-wizard-and-elf mountain, which makes sense because if you lose the ring bearer to exposure in the first month of travel, you're going down in history as the dingus who lost the last great conflict with Sauron. Again, Boromir is DEEPLY underappreciated as the reason our hobbits survived Caradhras.

After a few pages of back-and-forthing about where to go next, Gandalf is over here pushing Moria HARD, and literally everyone is like, "This does not pass the vibe check, wizard boy." Although Gimli is like, "I could find out what happened to Balin" and Aragorn literally says THIS:

"You followed my lead almost to disaster in the snow and have said no word of blame. I will follow your lead now..."

Because apparently Fellowship leadership operates on phlebotomist rules. If you miss the vein, you let someone else take a shot.

Ultimately, the decision is made because there are goddamn WARGS after the group, and even Boromir accedes that wolves literally on your tail are worse than hypothetical wolves up the road, so we stop arguing about it and hunker down. This gives us time to have a nice little moment with Sam and Pippin though. Poor Pippin is over here like, "I wish I had taken Elrond's advice [...], I am no good after all. [...] I don't remember ever feeling so wretched, " but Sam is coming in clutch with "Honestly same, but Gandalf isn't going to let us get eaten by wolves." Which like...yeah, I accept that, and it's way more comforting than a generic "there, there." I also appreciate that Sam admits he's scared too. It's like how hearing, "Oh god, I haven't started that either" is so comforting for stressed-out students.

What neither I nor the fellowship love though, is the wolves literally sniffing around their campfire that night. There are literally glowing eyes in the dark, howls on the wind, and a goddamn warg silhouette in the gap between stones. And an arrow through the throat of one warg buys the group some measure of peace until the moon sets. Once the moon sets though, we get a pre-dawn warg attack:

In the leaping light as the fresh wood blazed up, Frodo saw many grey shapes spring over the ring of stones. More and more followed. Through the throat of one huge leader Aragorn passed his sword with a thrust; with a great sweep Boromir hewed the head off another. Gimli stood with his stout legs apart, wielding his dwarf-axe. The bow of Legolas was singing.

The battle scenes in these books read SUPER Beowulf, but are somehow briefer. Tolkien was super not here for contemporary battle scene writing; it's very much painting with watercolors. He gives you the odd detail or two and you pretty much get to fill in the rest yourself. Which is fine, and holy cow can I see where that would inspire Robert Jordan's manner of naming sword forms rather than describing an actual duel (which is not shade, I think Jordan does that really damn well and to excellent effect). But then we get Gandalf doing wizardy things in a really...unusual way?

In the wavering firelight Gandalf seemed suddenly to grow: he rose up, a great menacing shape like the monument of some ancient king of stone set upon a hill. Stooping like a cloud, he lifted a burning branch and strode to meet the wolves. They gave back before him. High in the air he tossed the burning brand, It flared with a sudden white radiance like lightning; and his voice rolled like thunder.

This hearkens back both to "Gandalf the fireworks wizard" who we meet in the Shire, but also to the little moment in Bag End where Gandalf goes wizard on Bilbo to snap him out of his Ring moment. It also is not like...wildly dissimilar to how they teach you to scare bears off in the wild: Get big and loud and look intimidating. We were not supposed to then set a goddamn forest fire--that's a little scorched earth for Alaskan survival techniques--but it was one of those moments where the familiar was made pointedly exotic, and I actually thought it was quiet effective. You take the foundation of something real and then you add a bit of wizard to it. Then things feel sufficiently grounded, but also with just that extra bit of wizard to heighten EVERYTHING. The subtlety (and yeah, I know, forest fire and lightning isn't subtle, but the way this is written is and how it functions is) is really quite impressive. That said...Gandalf, honey. Maybe not with the ecological disasters???

At the very least, the wargs were polite enough to evaporate so they didn't have to deal with any of the bodies when the sun came up.

After that, we haul ass off to the Doors of Durin. It's not a good journey though. Right from the start, the Sirannon wasn't where it was supposed to be, the landscape is lifeless and desolate, and when we do finally find the stream, it's a freaking trickle. If the IDEA of Moria didn't pass the vibe check, then the landscape on the trip in is a parade of red flags. And again, Boromir is SUPER ON POINT with not wanting to get caught between a stone wall and a bunch of wolves. This place is all quiet unease and red flags. Even the freaking WATER is gloomy and unwholesome-looking.

And then we get a WEIRD FLEX moment for Gandalf:

"I am sorry," said Gandalf. "Poor Bill has been a useful companion, and it goes to my heart to turn him adrift now. I would have travelled lighter and brought no animal, least of all this one that Sam is fond of, if I had had my way. I feared all along that we should be obliged to take this road."

Like, I believe he's genuinely sorry to have to hurt Sam and to turn the goodest pony loose. But it's the "if I had had my way" and the last sentence where I'm just like...Gandalf. Sir. Why are you bitching to Frodo that you have to share leadership on this mission? And why are you flexing an "I told you so" on Frodo instead of, IDK, Aragorn??? Is it because Aragorn would kick your wizened wizard ass for it? Because I'd watch that.

Also, again with Gandalf being weirdly open with, aware of, and as solicitous as possible to Sam. He has zero problems kicking Pippin when he's down (as we'll see in a bit in this very goddamn chapter), but he's always been very straight yet compassionate with Sam in a way that doesn't even match how this wizard treats Frodo. Like, we are almost getting to a point where I need to go see what the Tolkien scholars have written about the Sam-Gandalf relationship, because it's getting NOTICEABLY unique and it has gotten a fair number of little moments at this point. Like...what is this relationship and why is this the dynamic? I demand to know.

I also just want to take a second to highlight something DEEPLY inequitable as they round the lake to the door:

When they came to the northernmost corner of the lake they found a narrow creek that barred their way. It was green and stagnant, thrust out like a slimy arm toward the enclosing hills. Gimli strode forward undeterred, and found that the water was shallow, no more than ankle-deep at the edge. Behind him they walked in fie, threading their way with care, for under the weedy pools were sliding and greasy stones, and footing was treacherous. Frodo shuddered with disgust at the touch of the dark unclean water on his feet.

THE HOBBITS DONT WEAR SHOES. Everyone else has boots to act as something of a barrier to this gross-ass water, but the hobbits have to tromp through it BAREFOOT. Did NOBODY think, "oh shit, this will be super unpleasant for the hobbits, maybe we should yeet or carry them?" Apparently not, and honestly now they're just gonna have gross feet as they tromp through Moria and I hate that for their poor hobbit toesies. And as a WWI soldier, TOLKIEN SHOULD KNOW THE DANGERS OF WET, MUCKETY FEET.

But then we actually get to the doors--finally--and Sam has a deeply understandable moment when Gandalf tells him they have to cut Bill loose, and Gimli and Legolas try to start world war 2.5 over Elf-Dwarf relations before Gandalf tells them to knock that shit off.

Everyone is super over everything at this point, and I cannot blame them.

But where Gandalf has zero time for Legolas and Gimli sniping at each other, he takes the time to speak over Bill and give him his best shot at getting home safely. Again, I do not get the relationship between Gandalf and Sam. I appreciate the care for the pony, but whatever the Gandalf-Sam thing is, it's more than just trolling Pippin or ensuring that Frodo makes it to the volcano or ignoring Merry's existence for the most part.

Literally, Pippin gets a "Knock on the door with your head" from Gandalf, and once the damn thing IS open, Merry just gets a casual, "Merry, of all people, was on the right track" before Gandalf pulls ANOTHER weird flex and says "Too simple for a learned lore-master in these suspicious days." Like...ok, sure, Gandalf. You were TOO SMART to get the riddle.

But we get the doors open just in time for Frodo to get nabbed by a metric frick-ton of tentacles. Sam yoinks him back and they haul ass through the door, which get slammed behind them and the tentacle monster bolts it behind them with boulders and trees. After which we get THIS little gem from Gandalf:

"I fear from the sounds that boulders have been piled up and trees uprooted and thrown across the gate. I am sorry; for the trees were beautiful, and had stood so long."

SIR. I was THERE when you burned a flaming doughnut into the land to get rid of the wargs. You are a walking ecological disaster and do not get to high ground the tentacle monster ripping up a few trees by the roots. You probably burned more LAST NIGHT. I know it's unfair to expect characters to know the genre of the book they're in, and by extension its equally unfair to expect them to know the themes of the book they're in. That said though...I WATCHED YOU START A FOREST FIRE, GANDALF. This is not the moment to suddenly discover ecocriticism.

At any rate, we have FINALLY made it inside Moria. Boromir is (rightfully) quite pissed off an apprehensive about this, but Gandalf is like, "Gimli and I will lead the way!" before they manage to get the party fucking lost and Sam is bitching about not having rope. Because oh my god there is SO MUCH atmospheric walking in this book. And most of the time the atmosphere is "vaguely evil with a healthy helping of depression." Which...yeah, that's what we get here.

So it makes sense that Gandalf is SUPER FUCKING OVER IT when Pippin yeets a rock down a well and they hear hammer blows from the deeps. And it makes even more sense when Gandalf realizes he's apparently also experiencing withdrawal symptoms because he hasn't had a smoke since before they started climbing Caradhras. So he non-apologizes to Pippin, lights up, and everything looks better in the morning...sort of. At least the wizard is less grumpy, and he has now firmly established himself as that member of the party who needs to be properly self-cared or he will make it EVERYONE ELSE'S PROBLEM. Seriously, what a goddamn diva.

But getting himself a wee bit of a smoke made it so he could make a decision and they headed up to where the air smelled good. So fair enough.

Then we have EVEN MORE atmospheric walking, and Sam picks up some dwarven lore via Gimli singing a song all about Moria and Khazad-dum, and I swear, the hobbit is going to be a lore-master himself by the end of this journey.

This chapter is also where we get a bit of a mithril infodump, which is pretty cool just in general. We also get Frodo having delayed sticker-shock because he's just casually waltzing around with a whole-ass shirt of mithril on. That's also a nice little reminder to all the readers that hey, remember that Frodo has this thing? I betcha it's going to be important soon.

We end the chapter on the SUPER downer note of finding Balin's tomb, and the dwarves now have their (not unexpected) answer to what happened to the party from thirty-odd years ago. Which is really sad, frankly.

That's also about where we're going to leave this chapter, because I am...exhausted by all the atmospheric walking. We will pick up next time with a relatively short chapter, and hopefully there is more to it than infodumping and atmospheric walking.

[allamericanb-tch]

you signed up for this thoughts (1)

currently riding off the adrenaline rush that was doing my final project for english literally 30 minutes before it was due. will i be pulling an all nighter? i hope not. i have things to do tomorrow. but it is entirely possible. it is currently 12:11 am on may 4th. i will be back with the time when i stop reading. ok. it’s 1:50 am and im done with chapter two. i’m tired but also im not but im going to force myself to sleep bc ill regret it if i dont. 

chapter 1

guys i need long rosekiller fic recs. this is so irrelevant but

cruel summer! i love swifties.

modern AUs are really starting to grow on me

guys i love dorcas so much she’s so cool i’m in love with her 

celsius jump scare (i just looked up the conversion and 30°C is 86°F which is PERFECT WEATHER what is regulus yapping about)

“honestly, straight guys. a mystery to regulus.”

“dorcas is almost too gay to function.” we should totally just stab caesar!!!

they’re in spain why did i think they were in australia

BARTY?!

yes dorcas you ARE a bad bitch

i’m living for dorcas and regulus friendship

lily! my love <3

remus!

JAMES POV!!! james is my favorite guys i love him so much

is james hispanic in this omg (wait yeah that would make sense if this takes place in spain…) hispanic james is so dear to me

MARLENE!!!! just a mention of her but i love marlene. so. much.

no why is he being mean ☹️ i mean i get why but james fleabag potter is the most Genuinely Nice Guy to every Genuinely Nice Guy

peter!

frank!!

hogwarts spa and resort 😭

regulus pov again!

rip bartylus ☹️

six weeks!

the tired is setting in i might just read one chapter and then go to sleep

omg black brothers reunion when??

james pov again! i’m glad this fic clarifies the povs i like that

eeee jegulus

sex wax mention

regulus pov again again! 

dorcas calling remus “tall dark and handsome” genuinely that phrase confused me so much for so long (it still does) like im just imagining them being enveloped in a perpetual shadow

what the fuck is a half british half american accent with a spanish twang

this fic is irking me, but generally all modern AUs do

“there go his plan for ogling” REAL

james pov again again!

sirius!

not lily thinking regulus is dorcas’ boyfriend

sirius is a short queen and i love him 

remus pov!!!

eeee sirius

wolfstarwolfstarwolfstar

PANDORA!!!!!!!

i love remus and regulus friendship

i love long end notes

chapter 2

“But also, he’s so freaking tired.” james being the realest ever

enemies to lovers wolfstar

SIRIUS BEING 5’5 i love it

regulus pov! 

oooooo

jegulus is jegulusing

i have to pee SO BAD rn omg

eee james pov

oh me oh my 

remus pov! 

dorcas!!!!!

regulus pov again 

chapter 3

i am back many hours later (i am driving to prom) (don’t worry i am not the one driving)

excited for this one

i have no idea what the work aspect of this fic is about

STOP DONT CALL SUNSCREEN CREAM AHHH

“i’m weird. i’m a weirdo. i don’t fit in. i don’t want to fit in.” 

platonic prongsfoot ❤️‍🩹

“i want to be marlene when i grow up” REAL

i hate the way paraphernalia is spelled so much

dorlene!!!!!!

marlene 😭 i love her so much

ew stop saying tall dark and handsome it’s so wattpad

dorlene is dorlening

i think regulus is going to stumble upon sirius rn

I KNEW IT AHHH

and he’s running away

AH james

jegulus is jegulusing

oh my god

this is so wattpad and im living for it honestly

“hello brother” BAH STOP

regulus having a canis major tattoo ❤️‍🩹

chapter 4

i stopped reading and it is now one more day later

james is so. james.

“Grumbling under his breath, he connects his phone via Bluetooth and finds his one sad playlist. It exists for emergencies only, but he thinks this qualifies.” HELP

regulus has been found 

jegulus jegulus jegulus

james 😭 

regulus having a peanut allergy

jamessss whyyyy ☹️

barty jump scare

stoppppp omg ew

lily!!!!!

pandora!! i love her so much

🎶you look like stevie nicks🎶

pandalily ?! eat. 

i love pandora so much omg

greyback ??

james and sirius 

chapter 5

what is 1700 in normal time

sirius leaving the note for regulus ❤️‍🩹 

remus “i can’t fucking stand you” lupin and sirius “you’re welcome to kneel” black

dorcas!

arepas mmm

dorcas!

PLEASE barty and regulus texting i can’t with them

i lpve moonwater

chapter 6

dinner ahhh

beer is literally just bread soda

james is such a mom friend

midnights !!!!!

NOAH KAHAN !!!!!

sirius has excellent music taste

jegulus ahhh

peter 😭 i love him so much

stop this is giving me the ick

WHAT THE F

i’m eating this enemies to lovers wolfstar up please they need to kiss so bad

jegulus

chapter 7

regulus just pining

yes sirius you’re absolutely right lost the breakup IS a banger

MATILDA IS NOT A SKIP

omg is it called you signed up for this bc of the maisie peters song. 

“There are only two reasons Sirius will get out of bed before eight am. Mortal peril or good waves.”

sirius and remus alone together ?!

KISS ALREADY

AHHHHHHH

wolfstar is wolfstaring

oh they’re really going at it

yeah that was really. hmm. i mean good for them honestly but

“Remus’ mouth twitches, then he looks at Sirius, who is trying very hard to avoid his gaze for some reason. It’s odd, and Regulus doesn’t like it. Did they have a fight or something?” yeah or something

sirius and regulus ☹️

marlene 😭 icon as always

james!

yay i love dancing

regulus being regulus (pining after james)

chapter 8

oh? hanky panky in this chapter ?!

no hablo español

regulus calling james mr darcy

THE HAND FLEX SCENE yes it is a classic

mcdonald’s so america core

james carrying an epipen for regulus ❤️‍🩹

omg they’re going dancing

james respectful king

omg daddy yankee mention we used to listen to his songs in middle school spanish class 

jegulus is jegulusing omg

sirius pov 

eeeee wolfstar happenings

moonwater friendship <3

CANNON FODDER 😭

chapter 9

lily!!!!!

pandora ?!

i love lesbian lily

pandalily!

keeping it platonic my ass

yeah inside joke. sure.

“If Mary finds out he took Remus into the staff corridor, she’ll neuter him” 😭😭

wow this author just loves the phrase “kisses their teeth”

i love sirius and regulus

BAH REGULUS AND THE TAYLOR REFERENCES i love him so much

regulus having no friends his whole life he’s just like me fr

james you menace

STOP SAYING CREAM IM BEGGING YOU

“While Regulus is having a small, private crisis” that’s one way to put it

i really don’t like barty in this which is sad for me because i love barty

“Do you really want to faint in front of Sirius like you’re a Victorian lady?”

what are they doing

please stop saying “#/10 would ___” it’s so millennial 

i was gonna stop here but i think i will read one more

chapter 10

hanky panky hanky panky

i love dorlene 

i love pandalily

we need more wlw centric fics if i was confident in my writing abilities that is what i would do

dorcas!! 

guys i love dorlene so much

being a multishipper is so fun bc i love marylily so much but pandalily eats every time

i love forced proximity

sirius having to run after remus bc sirius is Very Short and remus is Very Tall so real

oh they’re in the backseat now

oh jegulus

oh me oh my

THEYRE KISSING AHHHHHHH

stop i can’t believe it’s only been a week

they’re really going at it aren’t they

ew stop this is giving me the ick

ok im going to read another chapter

chapter 11

this is the last one i swear

sirius telling lily! underrated friendship frfr

marlene!

i love jegulus so much omg

i love the word magnanimous 

remus telling regulus

poor dorcas ☹️

“You’re like a pesky mosquito, you know that?” Remus groans, shaking his head. Unbelievable.

“Hmm, yeah, I guess. I mean, I’d like to bite you.” 😭😭 sirius you menace

regulus you menace

“You are a menace.” this is exactly what i’ve been saying

sirius jump scare

oh me oh my

i love pandora

oh ?!

ok reading the next chapter

chapter 12

oh me oh my

not imagine dragons 😭

hospital 🫡

eeeeee they’re kissing

wolfstar

sleepover ?!

why is this hilarious

sirius is such a menace

i love sirius and regulus so much

“Barty made Regulus feel like the world was against them. James makes Regulus feel like it’s them against the world.”

dorcas! 

dorlene ☹️

jegulus is jegulusing

ew stop this is giving me the ick

ok i actually have to sleep now