#but i wanna actually SEE them yk
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"Who? Me? You already know me.. "
Man i really REALLY wanna see them a lot more 😫😫
Like, in game and not just in the promo material
I mean just look at them..
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So mysterious... Yet
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So pretty 😞😞✨
#afk journey#afk journey merlin#afk merlin#afk journey fanart#ok i know this is just Merlin#but i wanna actually SEE them yk#I'm calling him OG Merlin for now#I'm curious#what do you guys think of him?
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“Mitsukou is cute but-” cannot relate, every time I ship Kou with someone else Mitsuba is still inexplicably there. Whether he’s present or not he is haunting the narrative. Not the side chick nor part of the actual relationship but a secret third thing. Those male best friends in every series that have more chemistry than the main couple but don’t end up together. You, me, and Steve.
#i’m not gonna tag the actual other ships bcuz i feel like those shippers don’t wanna see this lol#yk ppl in those tags that don’t like mtsk#i’m not that level of toxic#i just cannot separate mtsk from each other’s stories unless one of them flat out doesn’t exist#and never existed in the first place#many such cases#sousuke mitsuba#kou minamoto#mitsukou#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#every time i post abt mitsukou i feel like i’m yelling at a cloud#i take it back side chick mitsuba sounds hilarious
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you know it's bad when i read svsss and tgcf, stories about just two guys falling in love and getting together, and think, "god i wish i were in between them."
gay little domestic cottage core life with binghe and qingqiu? please and thank you. being sandwiched by hua cheng and xie lian, two pretty men who are hundreds of years old? i am blushing, kicking my feet and giggling
and again, it's not even that i would want only one of them. like in both of the relationships, the two love each other too much to the point it'd feel wrong if they were separated! it wouldn't feel complete, so you gotta be with both of them!
but that's the thing; i just?? i feel so incredibly guilty whenever i think about being loved by these mxtx couples??? like it's so stupid but i feel like i'm intruding in on something and it's like, everyone else seems to just want them together only, not wanna be with them. like it's fuckin taboo or whatever
i feel like with any other character from any other media it'd be fine to simp for and write/read x readers of them, but when it comes to these books, it's off limits! no way, what are you, crazy? yes, yes i'm unhinged and desperately want their love and affection simultaneously. i want to be in a happy little poly relationship with these overpowered beautiful men with long hair.
i can't be the only guy or whoever to feel this way?? to wanna be kissed by these characters? sandwiched?? i have two hands for christ sake and they all look so happy together and im just like "lord i wanna be with them so much". someone tell me i'm not alone cmon <\3
#okay i havent read mdzs yet but i'll probably feel the same way#god i just wanna be in between shen qingqiu and binghe or hua cheng and xie lian please please#im sad im queer and im ready for a gay poly relationship with these mfs#i love them all#i remember seeing some post where it was like 'hua cheng x fem reader headcanons'#and i was like 'huh thats interesting. not fem but i'll check it out bc ive never rlly seen anything like that'#and then it was like 'he'd leave you for xie lian' and it was fucking hilarious actually#but then i saw the comments on that post and they were all like 'omg i was about to unfollow and block you' 'thank god' etc#and i was just like#'damn?? do people really not like this type of stuff when it comes to danmei novels or smth?'#i don't know if it was just bc it said fem reader or bc yk it's danmei and hua cheng and xie lian are very much in love and happy#but it lowkey kinda got me self conscious lmao and i was hella feeling bad#also no hate to that poster or those commenters im just a lonely queer man#'he would leave you for xie lian' was fucking brutal though i laughed my ass off at thag KAHSNZJ#please i swear i wont stand out too much i can fit in i have long luxurious hair too let me show you my hair care routine guys </3#svsss#mxtx svsss#luo binghe#bingqiu#tgcf#heavens official blessing#mxtx tgcf#mxtx novels#mxtx characters#hua cheng#xie lian#hualian#shen qingqiu#the scum villain's self saving system
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Was nobody gonna warn me that I would fall a little bit in love with every character in Stardew
#I am literally following them around and getting excited like a little puppy its insane#I cant decide who I wanna marry I like all of them… I was a little torn between Sebastian and Harvey at first but now Alex is an#unexpected fav??? and I like Elliott and Sam theyre so goofy.. and I appreciate how down to earth Leah is#Emily is also quickly growing on me she feels like the valleys manic pixie dream girl to me. or at least Clint’s manic pixie dream girl#the only characters I don’t have much to say abt are Shane and maru.. Shane’s still a little mean to me like I know he warms up to u as#u get to know him but I’m not there yet.. and I’m just not all that interested in Maru sadly#it’s not just the marriage candidates its almost all the NPCs especially Granny Evelyn SHES SO NICE?? shes fun to talk to I love giving#her my best flowers.. I also like saying hi to Willy and Marnie they’re nice!!! I love Marnie’s smile it’s so cute#I’m also fond of gus after seeing Linus’ 2 heart event that was so sweet of him… mister gus I’ll give u my best ingredience……..#I’m too busy trying to finish the community centre and make money before I go around marrying anyone or building up friendship#so I haven’t had a lot of time to get to know everyone ;w; I’m trying to trigger the wizards heart events now that I’m at like 9 hearts#with him cuz I wanna be able to move my buildings around#I actually have 2 saves rn one on my brothers pc and one on iOS. but the one on iOS is cosmos file and it just playing as him as a character#not as myself and I think he would marry Alex. but my pc save is my personal file so I’m marrying Harvey#until my pen gets fixed I’ll be drawing at a snails pace pairing the stupid thing but Im making cosmo a ref definitely#I kinda wanna get to know Pam too.. she’s like rough around the edges but in a jaded way I wanna know what she’s like yk#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#Stardew#yapping
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Listen I know putting up Chelsie and/or T’kor is probably better for the endgame for everyone but Kimo still ain’t giving anything in this game anymore and I’d rather see another man go again
#angela and leah could be ballsy and use both vetoes#to gurantee one of the leaders of each trio goes#but idk if they will#or if they should yk?#i’d love to see it#and mj and angela would be the deciding votes actually#so it can work to their advantage#like if t’kor goes rubina and kimo got nothing to stand on#she is their game yk#they could scoop them up if they wanted to#but rubina and kimo don’t offer enough beyond their vote I don’t think#and i’d doubt they’d wanna work with ppl who got t’kor out#its a slippery slope yk#bb26
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playing around with this picrew and made lesbian odypen
#this is like. taking the canon designs and gender bending ody not like my official designs for them#esp bc of limitations of the picrew lol outfits are WAYY to modern even for canon designs lmao#but also most ppls designs are based on the actors unless its gods/goddesses thats the typical thing to do#see i kinda wanna be like oh but i can do my own thing w desgins alsoo thoo#but also feel like the only other example of ppl changing the designs for human characters in epic fandom i can think of is whitewashing#so like. i dont wanna say that u can do ur own thing w designs even tho its ofc ofc different but yk. idk#i fear ppl are gonna call me a hypocrite if im like society if penelope was a beautiful fat woman#but also say making polities white is fucked . even tho these are veryyy different thingsss but idk if people always understand this#but also idk i dont think ppl tht wldnt see the difference are good people. like idk thats daramtic maybe but.#also i already made ody a woman 😭😭😭😭😭😭ig idgaf of what the fandom thinks of me already#but anyway. yeah whatever i want the woman that is worth 20 years of fighting and multiple atrocities to be fat#i think we are worth that. whateverrrr .#ACTUALLY NOT WHATEVER !! WE ARE !!!#didnt mean to go on a whole rant abt desgins then but it okay#flappy rambles#lesbian odypen
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having fun with colors for once :P
thanks @creepycoffins for the awesome dtiys :D
#creepycoffinsdtiys#trigun#millions knives#vash the stampede#i haven't drawn nearly enough knives. posted him even less#him and vash are so fun to draw :P ik they have the same face but it's like. fun to experiment with how different i can make them look yk#also admittedly. did most of this at work during downtime so if it looks funky..... my bad#the lighting isn't the greatest aight?? it's night shift and there's no windows but they do dim the lights#i did do the limited coloring i did at home lol. wasnt gon bring more art supplies to work#trying to get back into the swing of things with my drawing. i got myself a huion display for my birthday this year!#on top of my traditional i wanna do more animated stuff#primarily animated bc honestly i don't really wanna learn digital painting or whatever. im not interested in that and i like my harsh style#i'd also like to do more original work. i think last year was literally just trigun fanart lmfaoo#we'll see how things turn out ig#i'm not really holding myself to doing anything bc i don't see that turning out well. i am applying myself to more fan projects at the leas#tho those i'm applying more as a writer lmfao#well anyway. enough about me. i actually really like the drawing this was based off of! i didn't include the full body designs#and tbh vash's design is almost entirely cut out just cuz how the pose worked out :(#so i would highly suggest checking out the original art by the person i tagged!#and their other art's pretty banging as well :D
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am i the only person who feels like they're missing out on everything
#journal . . ✶#like i didn't go to hoco this year#i get rejected by everyone i have a crush on#the ONE guy i dated was an asshole#it genuinely makes me feel like i'm unlovable like#am i that bad#am i that ugly#yk#like looks aren't everything IK but still#i wanna be perceived as pretty and cute enough to be asked out#all my friends have boyfriends or people who've liked them#meanwhile no one liked me since my ex#tbf they have reason to not like me#i'm lowkey weird irl so#yeah#and like there's a girl at my school who looks like the grinch#LIKE GENUINELY I'M NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE MEAN SHE QUITE LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE THE GRINCH IF HE HAD BLUE EYES AND HAIR EXTENSIONS#but even she has a bf#THE KID WHO DRAWS ACTUAL GACHA HEAT DURING LUNCH HAS A BOYFRIEND#BUT NOT ME ???#like am i that unlovable ???#i just wanna experience teenage love#like love u see in movies#idk i think i'm gonna die alone
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me when all my selfships are very popularly shipped with other characters (I hate canon sharing)
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#this is mostly about a certain YELLOW BOT. however its true for all my f/os and i kind of hate it#i feel like crawling into a corner every time i open anybodys tag cause its all CANON SHIP STUFF.#and obv you can ship whatever u wanna. but my god does it make me feel like getting rubbed the wrong way with sandpaper#i just want to see my guy please ffs stop shoving this other guy in the picture with him i hate it here#ik i literally reblogged a post about this this morning but i am not having a good time rn#like y'all I literally cannot even follow jonns tag bc the ship stuff is so fucking bad in there#i cant look at it anymore#and i am REALLY struggling w blitzys tag. i want to see him so bad and im just getting beat to death#sorry chat im miserable and havent had anyone to yap at all day im going insane im afraid#proship selfship#proselfship#ratkingrambles#and like most of my guys im fine. like i ship vox and al hardcore. i love remy and rogue. meg and doom are cute.#like yk i generally am fine but holy fuck its like my two ACTUAL HUSBANDS exist just to be shipped with other characters ??????????#the only two i actively hate sharing and every post about them is ship stuff pls i cant do this anymore#okay im done i just needed to bitch for a minute#i may be pro fiction but my god am i gonna start biting people for these ships anyway back the fuck UP
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u ever think of a ship u like one-sidedly and wonder why tf u didn’t project onto them when suffering from a bad one sided crush
#this is abt valgrace#honestly i dont see jason as being into men he’s either straight or aspec to me (or both yk)#but leo is definitely into him#to me#and now i have the urge to write a fic abt them#like maybe a jason survived au or smthn#or maybe they resurrect him idk#i think it would be a bit too angsty if he was dead#(or it could be pre-death but idk if i wanna do that for a few reasons)#guys actually does anyone want that i think it would be fun to write#i needed smthn to write yk but this is still vague enough that if i wanna continue i might need more motivation or smthn#pjo#heroes of olympus#leo valdez#jason grace#valgrace#<- do i tag that if its one sided???#sorry if i offended u for this i can’t think straight rn#ryan shut the fuck up
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i legit love when a character's gender is so integral to their personality (and perception obviously.) like so concrete that if genderbent their whole shtick would just be absolute dookie. anyways i'm just writing this text so i can talk in the tags (My beautiful safe haven)
youtube
this 14 minute song is soooooooooooo FYRE
#text#actually i'm thinkinbg about this only cus i'm drawing female neloff and i'm just like#Elder dookies fans already hate females..... imagine them tryign to handle a woman with NPD that is reaching toxic waste levels#old decaying female with NPD.#but i'm also drawing female neloff for fun cus i have an idea for a look; i don't think it's a good idea#and he is just one of those characters that feel very good in the strict cismale box.#i also feel silly talking about gender-anything in any fiction because that's a topic only Am*ricans with no real problems sweat about#if that makes sense#just not something that interests me in the slightest#actually this might jsut be fascinating 2me because it is interesting indeed to see the different ways narcissism is treated. in characters#if i keep saying females instead of women it's bc i legit love that word. Sorry#and el*nwen+ulfr*c too are those female+male respectively perfectly fitting characters too#but notice how i didn't say cis. exactly. i'm thinking about the person that said elly did his top surgery in the torture basement. 4 free#or maybe i said that and they jsut said they're both t4t. Mmmaybe#the absolute W we copped with elly being the ' ' Big Bad ' ' th*lmor as a woman who is just obsessed with the luxuries of life.#stereotypical high society woman#she's so cute#i might just be obsessed with exploring very traditional dynamics too. i love keeping it grounded yk#Me after reading too many geriatric centuries old novels and huffing copium on sk*rim#i think i legit hate having fun with wilder character personality-morphism (because it is useless) that's not working with what u have#i'm just saying things that will make sense only 2 me now. Bye#why did i develop interest-related nihilism that extends to me hating fantasy franchises and anything that isn't non-fiction#i love it tho makes me feel so sophisticated#this is what happens when nobody humbles you while you draw regurgitated glorified studentXteacher (with a medieval twist) for a year.#i'm so excited for the year to be over not bc it's bad for me but bc i wanna see what all of the n*lvas art i drew looks like together#i wanna compile it like i did with eltl in 2023#n*lvas been treating me so well though liek i've been at such an artistic Peak especially after may#i'm always at my artistic peak tho.#i have a picture of n*relion on my mspaint canvas and it keeps looking at me while i'm drawing . he scares me because who gave him -#- the t*lvas hairstyle and the n*loth beard Bro.
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I have scars on both my knees, my left one looks like a purple blotch because there's two more scars there that are relatively new. I think the whole mess of scars looks like a weird moth shape. Women in my family, all above the age of 45, mind you, have advised me remedies, to make sure I don't have permanent scars. Because "as women, scars on our body just don't suit us. Iykwim" and now I can't stop staring at my scars.
I don't think you find yourself ugly unless someone tells you you are.
#tho again to resestablish i do not find my scars bad or ugly unless they hurt#but yk what i mean here#who's gonna look at my elbows and see two long scars and be like ew yuck i hate you#and if they actually do have reactions like that do i really wanna associate with them?#suffer ye suhana nahi#desiblr
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up next on chapter 36 of idol sengen… _(:3 」∠)_
#(my toxic trait is that i’ll complain about my work endlessly but still end up doing it anyway… eventually.)#there’s rant 1 (ft. a need to deduce what asuna is saying in full) and rant 2 (which is available in full but still…)#there’s also another mona-rambling session in chapter 38… that im not touching with a 50 foot pole#(all you need to know for that mona-rambling [about frusu] is that mona’s frusu oshi is all of them)#(and that she thinks miyu is like *the* pinnacle of centres in idol groups)#(also someone won a junior dance competition but idk who bc it’s obscured lmao)#can i outsource these panels for a corn chip lmaoooo#m. maybe i should’ve actually worked on this while i was still unemployed last month huh…#bc excuse me company wdymmmmmm im starting work next monday?? the interview was just this monday hello?#ig the interviewer was legit when she said ‘so if i asked you if you can start work next monday—’ huh…#sigh… maybe ch 36 next month then… i’ll do my best over the weekend thoughhhhh#seriously though why is this volume so text heavy l m a o i really wanna get to chapter 40 but…#and then there’s the hard to clean text boxes which… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#…though i guess i should just count myself lucky that the chapters are still short enough to fit into a single post (with the image limits)#but dang. i just realised that my manga sengen thing has a page on manga updates lmao#who put it there lmaooooo and why is it only up till vol 2? wait. no. what. why does it link to manga.dex#bc dang. someone really had the time to dl the thing image by image? no wonder why they stopped after vol 2…#guess i might as well say why i dont want people to reupload my tls… since we’re in the final stretch and all#so. aside from the obvious ‘idw the creators to find out about it’… i probably made a ton of mistakes while tling it. esp in the early chaps#so i’d like to. y’know. have the chance to update the tls where possible. i’ve done that a couple of times already tbh.#like with rippei’s name post-vol 4 release. and some of the typesetting is p. gross in the early chaps tbvh#i swear tling idol sengen has made me incredibly conscious of grammar and typesetting like you wouldnt believe#esp with official tls… fan tls will always be perfect to me no matter how wonky the wording bc it’s hard but honest work yk#official tls (esp a.i tls) get no concessions from me bc it’s their job that they’re getting paid to do yk.#in any case (if you’ve read this far) if you see any mistakes in the tl please lemme know~~~ please dont hold back on your criticisms ok~~~?#just sound ‘em out in dms here or sth. don’t worry~~~ i won’t eat y’all if you try to correct me~~~~~ unless you’re the md reuploader (jk)#and ik i disabled comments on the other blog (or tried to at least) but that’s bc idw bots to flood the comments bc that’s annoying as he—#anyways sorry for the idol sengen wait (if anyone was waiting for it…) i’ll improve on my work ethic… tomorrow. maybe.
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also i know i’m on iwtv (as “security”) and that’s just kinda weird to me lol. like hey. that’s me. i’m just a guy
#moi#i mean ofc i wanna perform on those shows someday#it’s just odd seeing myself in the bg of them#i guess i never thought i’d even get here yk#i spent so long dreaming abt it and now im actually trying to be a pro wrestler#it’s just. cool :)
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chat what do u do when it kinda seems like a girl likes u
#“ermmmm ask her out” *INCORRECT BUZZER* its not that simople#i feel like once i got a bit of self confidence i started realizing this actually does happen sometimes#but everytime i realize i dont do nothing abt it so nothing happens#and tbh im bad at reciprocating#learned to tone down my rabid love and attraction to my friends but now i think i went too far in the other direction#it isnt even just “how do u pull” question either its more like. hey do u like me if not no problem if so#then i like u too but maybe not the way u like me. but not like jsut friends either im just not really a boyfriend type of guy#not that im not into doing bf things im just probably no substitute for a boyfriend yk. unless you dont want a boyfriend then im perfect?#umm but not like in a im not capable of affection type of way i can be affectionate. too affectionate even. um#idk man. the convo wouldnt even start w “do u like me” i feel like id have to start with “do u know what a qpr is”#theres so many layers to this onion man. id like to just be friends first an see where that goes#but i kinda feel like ive fumbled like five hot people that way#at least im still friends w some of them :) BUT NOT ALL OF THEM !!#basically its like. should i pursue long term friendship or short term fun. also really really dont wanna hurt anyones feelings#is this a vent. im not rly upset im just kinda down bad and frustrated#also im high 👍 and the heatwave is slowing my cognitive functions i think
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Seeing the appeal and enjoyment of a ship vs just not wanting to ship it
#i feel this abt so many things#and this wording doesnt. fit my emotions exactly#a good example is glamrock fronnie#like i totally side with them being canon and i love both of them#but ill probably never write/include glamrock fronnie in anything simply bc its not my thing yk?#its less that i dont ship it at all and more i see the appeal and evidence but im not gonna use it for anything#same for andrew and jake#altho theres no “evidence” for that one#but i totally see the appeal but dont wanna do anything w it#which makes beckory special bc its one of the few ships i actually like in the fnaf fandom#im not a huge shipper for this fandom but im not against shipping#im just chill#tzu rambles
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