#but i think it's also worth considering that like

[raskies456]

So. This graph alone doesn’t necessarily show a decline in community. Maybe the study does, but the figure itself doesn’t, and I think it’s worth understanding why.

TLDR:

1. It’s a percentage measure, which means you can’t even tell if the literal number of people meeting offline is decreasing (discussed in depth under readmore).

2. You can’t tell if the change in percentage is because people are meeting online instead of meeting offline. For example, they could be meeting online instead of not meeting anyone at all.

3. Even if people were choosing to meet online over meeting offline, this doesn’t necessarily imply a decline in community.

Several people in the notes have pointed out that the graph ends in 2020, and that Covid almost certainly influenced results that year. This is a great point and is exactly the sort of thing people need to consider when looking at figures like this, but in this case it looks like the upward trend in online dating and downward trend in the rest of the variables was already happening prior to 2020, so covid doesn’t explain away the trend. Other people have questioned the source, which again is a good thing to look into, but even assuming the source and methodology were accurate you still couldn’t claim from this figure alone that there has been any decline in the number of couples that meet off the internet.

This is because what the graph shows is actually a change in percentage, and not a change in number. If you look at the vertical y axis, you can see it ranges from 0% to 50% as opposed to simply measuring the couples of people who met in a certain way. Now, graphing a percentage is a perfectly reasonable thing to do here, since you’re probably not surveying the exact same number of people every year, and if you interviewed a hundred people in 1990 and a thousand in 2000, you’d end seeing all your variables get around ten times bigger even if there was no change in how likely a couple was to meet in a given way between those years. In order to study how people’s behavior is changing, you pretty much have to use percentages to deal with the fact that you’re not going to have the same sample size each year.

However, this also means you’re no longer looking at actual numbers. You can’t tell from a percentage alone how many couples are actually doing any given thing, and you have to keep in mind that your percentages for each year are always going to add up to 100%. This means that if the percentage of people meeting online goes up, the percentage of everything else must drop, even if the exact same number of people are meeting offline.

To illustrate this, we can pretend to do our own small survey with two categories: couples who met online, and couples who met offline.

In the first year, we interview 10 couples. We find 9 couples met offline, and 1 online. So, 90% of people met offline this year, and 10% met online.

In the next year, there are 20 couples we ask. Again, 9 couples met offline, but now 11 couples met online. So now we have 45% of our couples meeting offline and 55% meeting online, even though the number of people who met offline never changed.

We can even see percentages drop when more people meet offline, so long as our sample gets bigger. In the third year, we interview 100 people, and find that 36 couples met offline, which is 4x more than last year. However, now only 36% couples met offline (and 64% online), because we are now looking at a 36 couples out of 100.

In all these cases, the percentage of people meeting offline dropped even though the number of people meeting this way never decreased. It simply happened because more people were meeting online. It could be true that the increase in online meetups happened because people were more likely to choose to meet online than through their community, but it’s also entirely possible that the people in couples who met online simply would not have met anyone through other means. It’s also simply the case that there are plenty of explanations for why people might choose to meet partners online rather than through their communities that don’t require any decline in community or connection.

Basically, it’s not only impossible to determine from percentage results whether the number of people meeting offline is decreasing, but it’s also impossible to determine why. It could be a loss of community ties, but it could be a lot of other things as well.

[padfootagain]

Love in Verses (XVIII)

Chapter 38: ‘They are elsewhere beyond the night way higher than day in the blinding brightness of their first love’

Hi! Here is a new chapter! Time for an… eventful second date! Also, I couldn’t find a decent translation of that poem, so I made one myself… sorry if it sounds a little clumsy.

I hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so no minors here

Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?

Word Count: 3120

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist

Les enfants qui s’aiment

The children who love each other Kiss standing against the doors of the night And the passers-by who pass by point at them But the children who love each other Are not there for anyone

And it is only their shadows That shiver in the night Exciting the passers-by’s rage Their rage, their disdain Their laughter and their envy

The children who love each other Are not there for anyone They are elsewhere beyond the night Way higher than day In the blinding brightness Of their first love

Jacques Prévert

You looked at yourself in the mirror, considered your tenth outfit.

Yeah, that was the best one, you reckoned. You would settle for it. And even if it wasn’t the best one, you had already spent an hour getting ready and trying to pick your clothes for your second date with Andy, that was enough. He had literally seen you today at work, you had been friends for months, he had seen you naked at this point… your outfit was good enough. He knew what you looked like… you felt heat spread across your frame at the thought that he knew what you looked like under these clothes.

Better not think about that now, this activity was scheduled for later tonight. Now, you were ready to get going, head for the restaurant where you had booked a table for two. Andrew had planned the first date, you were the one to handle the second. Something much simpler, you hoped he wouldn’t mind. You had booked a table at a delicious Italian restaurant, knowing how much Andrew loved Italian food. You had bought him flowers, were planning on inviting him for the rest of the night. God, your body trembled at the memory of your previous weekend, of the pleasure that had spread throughout the night and morning following your first date. Andrew was definitely something else…

You cleared your throat, grabbed your purse and the flowers you had bought. You were the one to pick up Andrew tonight, you wanted to surprise him with the restaurant, he didn’t know where you were going.

So, you headed to his apartment, heart pounding, struggling to breathe, a strange mix of nerves and excitement. And love. So much love. What a lovesick fool you were…

You knocked, waiting for a reply that didn’t come. You frowned hard, rang the doorbell. Maybe he hadn’t heard you. You were starting to panic already, doubts about yourself and your own worth messing with your busy head.

But now the door was being unlocked, you relaxed again. He had simply not heard you knocking, everything was…

Andrew flung the door open, eyes wide with panic and fear. He was wearing sweatpants, hair messy, glasses lopsided on his nose. He looked at you with a puzzled expression. He blinked, eyes lingering on your body before settling on the flowers, which made his frown deepen. And then he looked into your eyes again and panic only grew, making his eyes impossibly round.

You had to admit that you were disappointed… you were going on a date, you had spent so much time getting ready… was he really going to wear sweatpants?

“Oh my God…” he let out in a breath.

“Hi!” you forced a smile, hiding your disappointment.

“Hi,” he answered automatically. “Christ… what time is it?”

“Erm… 7 p.m…”

“Christ! Holy shit…”

You raised a surprised eyebrow… but then the wave of disappointment that rushed against your heart could not be hidden.

He had forgotten about your date…

“I’m so sorry… I… I need to cancel for tonight.”

Cancel?

“What?” you mumbled, blinking tears away.

“I…”

But then you heard a whimper coming from inside his home, saw the look of terror in Andrew’s eyes.

“I was about to leave,” Andrew added, and he was frantic when he reached for his car keys, his jacket, his wallet, a cap…

“What’s happening?” you asked, voice fragile even though you didn’t want to look that way, even though you wanted to be strong and be mean and petty and go home to cry your heart out…

He stared at you for a moment, frozen in his movements.

“Are these for… ?” he trailed off, and you handed him the flowers.

“Yes, they’re for you.”

He blinked at you, stared at the bouquet as if he tried to understand the meaning behind your words, as if he couldn’t figure what it all meant.

He took the bouquet, you saw that he was blinking tears away.

“Oh… thanks, that’s very sweet,” he told you, voice soft and deep, making your heart melt.

But then the whimper came again, you noticed it was coming from the living room.

“What’s going on?” you asked again, but Andrew merely rushed to the room.

He let you follow him, put down the flowers on his coffee table.

Elwood was lying on his side on the carpet, eyes shining with tears, slightly panting.

“He’s sick,” Andrew mumbled, voice trembling with panic. “I don’t know… I don’t know what’s wrong. Everything was fine, and then we came back from our walk, I took a shower, I was about to get ready for our date when I heard him crying, and he was like this… I don’t know what’s going on…”

And then everything became clear. Instead of being disappointed, relief washed over you.

You weren’t the problem, he hadn’t forgotten you. Elwood was ill, he was about to head to the vet, Andrew was clearly panicking, he had not thought about warning you…

“We should take him to the vet,” you said, kneeling next to the dog and soothingly stroking his head to keep him calm, to reassure him.

“I was about to leave. Christ, I’m so sorry Y/N, I forgot to call to cancel for tonight…”

“That’s alright, it’s not your fault… Let’s take care of Elwood, yeah?”

Slowly, he nodded. You noticed the tears in his eyes, the way he was trying to remain calm, but he was clearly close to surrendering to panic.

“He’s gonna be alright, don’t worry.”

Your voice was soothing, reassuring, and when Andrew nodded, you noticed how his breathing became more regular, how he regained control of himself, for a part, at least.

“I’ve called the vet, they’re expecting us.”

“Okay, let’s get this good boy in the car, huh?” you cooed at the sick dog, and he closed his eyes as you stroked his head the way you knew he liked.

Andrew picked the dog in his arms, let you close the door of his home behind him. He had to slow down a couple of times on the way to the vet, fear making him drive above the speed limit. But your hand on his thigh seemed to help, you noticed how he let out long exhales whenever your rubbed circles there.

The vet was waiting, indeed. Andrew apologised for the late hour, but the vet was quick to reassure him. After a couple of minutes spent examining the dog, the conclusion was that Elwood must have eaten an object of some kind. An ultrasound scan revealed that he had indeed eaten a small screw. The vet was reassuring, there was no internal damage of any kind, but the form of the object and the relatively sharp edges were the cause for the dog’s pain. You were sent back in the waiting room while the vet was pumping Elwood’s stomach. You sat down in the chair next to Andrew, and he reached for your hand as soon as you were seated. Your hold on his fingers was as tight as his on your hand.

You were both quiet for a while, Andrew’s eyes fixed on the white ceiling, his expression unreadable. He seemed so big in the tiny waiting room, in a chair that seemed too small for him. A true giant.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

His voice was deeper than usual. Soft, gentle. You loved that about him. That he looked so big, so physically intimidating, but that the second he opened his mouth he was revealed as a gentle, kind soul. His voice was warm, reassuring. Quiet, most of the time. The sound always soothed you, anchored you, calmed you down. You felt safe whenever you could hear his voice, its softness wrapping around you like a cocoon.

“For coming here with me,” he clarified while giving your hand a squeeze. “I was… I was pretty scared for a moment.”

You gave him a reassuring smile, even if his eyes were still fixed on the ceiling, on the crack that ran through the white paint.

“You were about to shit your pants, you mean,” you teased, and it did make Andrew chuckle.

“Yeah, for a minute, I kind of was,” he admitted.

You studied the angle of his jaw, the length of his throat that extended like this, with his head tilted back. His hair was a messy bun, he took off his glasses to rub at his eyes with the back of his hand and didn’t put them back on just yet. He blinked a couple of times, looked up again, the back of his head resting against the wall behind his chair. Your eyes lingered on the freckle above his eye you could glimpse at from where you sat, on the corner of his lips that was still turned slightly upward after his laughter.

“I should have called you to cancel for tonight. I’m so sorry,” he went on, and the trace of his smile was gone for good.

“You should have,” you nodded. “But you were upset, you weren’t thinking straight. It’s okay.”

“Are you mad?”

“No, I’m not mad. I’m just relieved Elwood is going to be okay.”

“I still have no clue where that screw is coming from…”

“He’ll be okay.”

“I know… I know…”

“He’s going to deserve lots of treats and petting…”

“Like he doesn’t get lots of those already. I spoil him.”

You laughed.

“Yeah, I bet you do.”

A minute passed in silence. Andrew rubbed circles into the back of your hand.

“Can we still go on a date? Like… can we reschedule?”

“Of course.”

“Our real second date will be good, I promise.”

“I have to admit that I wasn’t expecting a vet appointment tonight,” you laughed again.

“Me neither,” he winced. “What had you planned?”

“Italian restaurant.”

“Fuck…”

As if on queue, his stomach let out a low rumble, and you both laughed at the sound.

“I love Italian food.”

“I know,” you nodded, and he finally turned to you.

You exchanged a tender smile, before he would lift your hand to his lips and kiss your knuckles. You grinned at the tender gesture.

“I mean… we could still order some pizza,” you offered. “Watch a movie or something.”

He seemed surprised by your offer.

“We’ll have to go to my place, I want to keep an eye on Elwood.”

“Of course.”

He nodded, clearly refraining a smile.

“I’ll make our real second date good. I promise.”

You heaved a sigh.

“Andy… I don’t care…”

You shook your head, tried to gather your words.

“I don’t care about what we do. I know what’s going on in your brain. I know you’re trying to convince me to stay or something… but you don’t have to. Not everything has to be perfect. It just needs to be us. I’m not going to leave simply because our date is not going according to plan, alright? Stop putting so much pressure on yourself.”

A tinge of playfulness lit up his gaze, tugged at the corner of his lips. He was about to become a cheeky, adorable menace, you knew he was. Still, you read in his eyes the gratefulness he felt at your words.

“So… I can come to our next date looking like a mess, like that? Sweatpants and disgusting hoodie?”

You couldn’t refrain a laugh.

“Forget what I said. Put pressure on yourself. So much pressure!”

You mumbled your next words, and he made you repeat them so he could understand them.

“Even like this, you look good,” you repeated, making him blush.

“You’re gorgeous, by the way,” he spoke tenderly, rubbing his thumb across your knuckles.

“Thanks,” you smiled.

“If we go back to my place, and have pizza and a movie, I’ll dress properly for you.”

“You don’t need to.”

“I feel foolish next to such a beauty.”

You rolled your eyes, but your heart was stammering.

“Right…”

Soon enough, Elwood was free to go home. He would need a lot of rest in the coming days, but all was well now. Andrew carried him to his car, and then to his apartment, even though the dog was able to walk on his own now. He spent a while with his dog, petting him, speaking reassuring words while Elwood was lying on his cushion on the floor, and Andrew was sitting beside him. He waited until the dog was asleep, and then he joined you on the couch. You had let him take care of Elwood, feeling that he needed a moment alone. You could hear the quiet snore as the pet slept, tucked in his bed, close to the wall of the living room.

“Alright, I’m gonna get changed,” said Andrew. “You can order whatever you want for tonight.”

“You’re sure?”

“Course.”

“Then… pineapple on pizza it is…”

He spun around, waved a disapproving finger at you.

“I draw the line at slaughtering Italian food, be careful.”

You laughed, ordered your meal while he was getting ready.

When he reappeared with his hair brushed and falling on his shoulders, wearing a turtleneck and some brown trousers, you were too stunned to speak for a second. You let your eyes roam across his frame, studied the way his outfit complimented his body.

Your mouth watered, and you struggled to regulate your breathing.

“So… when is the crime against humanity being delivered?” he joked, sitting by your side again.

“Not too long now.”

“Grand. I’m starving.”

You cleared your throat.

“You… you look amazing, by the way,” you mumbled, trying to hide your reaction to him.

He smirked, leaned closer.

“Can I kiss my gorgeous girlfriend then?”

You nodded with a giggle, letting him close the space between your lips and his. The scent of his cologne was driving you crazy, the brush of his thumb across your cheekbone made you tremble.

Your food arrived sooner rather than later, you settled on the sofa to watch a movie while you ate and talked. Once your pizza (without pineapple) had disappeared, you cuddled into his arms, feeling his lips pressed to your hair every now and then.

“Thank you again for the flowers,” Andrew broke the comfortable silence that had settled between the two of you while you watched the movie. “I had never been given flowers before. That’s nice.”

You watched the bouquet that rested there, on his coffee table. He had put the flowers in a vase after coming home from the vet, they were a little wilted after spending some time without water, but Andrew didn’t seem to mind.

“It’s a silly gendered norm.”

He hummed in agreement.

“Thank you.”

You stopped paying attention to the movie when Andrew reached for your chin, gently guided your head towards his so he could kiss you once more. He tasted of the tomato on the pizza, of the red wine you had been drinking with your meal. His hold on your waist and chin tightened as you deepened the kiss, reached up to run your fingers through his hair.

You weren’t sure how you had found yourself straddling his laps, but you were now, the movie still playing behind you but it went on unnoticed. Your back was to the TV, the voices were drowned by your laboured breaths, by the blood thumping in your ears, by Andrew’s soft noises, a mixture of sighs and small growls.

And God… he was such a good kisser…

You shuddered when his hand slipped under your clothes to touch the skin of your shoulder. You paused, took a minute to find back your breathing although you didn’t move out of his embrace, merely rested your forehead against his.

“You’re okay?” he asked in a whisper, voice so deep it made your head spin.

You nodded, hummed.

“Can I be honest?” you asked, and Andrew was quick to encourage you to speak again.

“I really want to stay the night,” you whispered, making Andrew chuckle and nod, his nose brushing against yours in the process.

“I was hoping you would stay,” he admitted, and your heart made a happy jump at his confession.

“Someone’s trying to get laid…” you joked, and Andrew exploded with laughter, throwing his head back in bliss when you ridiculously wiggled your eyebrows at him.

“I should defend my honour as a gentleman,” he answered, grinning from ear to ear and struggling to speak as he still laughed, “but I would then be lying through my teeth. And we can’t have that.”

You laughed too.

“What do you want then?” you asked, your tone still playful, while Andrew was struggling to calm down.

“Oh… terrible things. Very… sinful in nature, definitely.”

He was holding your waist, cradling your cheek. When he blinked up at you, you felt so loved…

“You know, I… I know I kind of… ruined our date, but…”

“It’s not your fault, I’m not mad.”

“I know. And I… I’m grateful for your understanding, and for helping me tonight, for still being here. But I… Actually, I’m spending a very nice evening with you, despite the chaos I’ve provoked.”

You chuckled at that.

“I’m having a very nice evening too,” you nodded in agreement.

He brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear, you felt your breath get caught in your throat at the sweet gesture.

“I know it didn’t go according to your plans, but… I’m very happy right now,” he spoke in a quiet, deep voice that made you feel safe and warm.

“I’m happy too,” you nodded.

“Can this still count as our second date?”

You laughed in surprise.

“Hmmm… yeah, okay. Only I have a couple of conditions.”

“Conditions?”

“Yes! First, we go to the Italian restaurant I had planned on taking you to for our next date, cause you’re going to love it.”

He nodded with a grin, and your heart made a happy jump at the thought that he was excited for another date with you.

“And second… we move to your bedroom now. Because… there are things that I want to do with you… and I can’t do them with Elwood in the same room as us.”

You noticed how Andrew’s cheeks turned crimson, he laughed good-heartedly at your joke, but couldn’t disagree.

“Sounds like a plan,” he nodded, before letting his gaze fall to your lips. “God, I want you so bad… you have no idea what you do to me.”

You bit on your lip, wore a suave voice when you reached for his cheek, tilted his face towards yours slowly. You noticed how his breathing became more irregular.

You heard him audibly choking at your next words.

“Why don’t you show me then?”

[shnowyfox]

Jollyformers AU (

so basically i turned the holiday themed au. i haven't had the time to flesh it out obviously. TFONE megop regardless of this au is Last Christmas by Wham!

lore! so instead of cogs they have sleigh bells! usually worn via a collar though harnesses are worn as well to hold more bells that are decorative only. Idk what im doing with transformation yet but i think either it's completely replaced by the bell's allowing flight, or, transformation into creatures to pull the sleigh (basically everyone has a beast alt, deer and ungulates being the most common) Optimus obviously being a reindeer, megatron (krampus) is a goat to fit with his krampus thing, b-127 (glee-127, Badassaclaus) is supposed to be elf like with his g1 style horns supposed to look like elf ears too but they can be seen as budding antlers as well, and elita I haven't drawn yet but she's either a reindeer too or gazelle. (also considering giraffe with that neck dayum girl)

"Prime" has been replaced with "Claus"

hats are just for jolly good fun. like this whole au. and a bit of religious healing. anything goes rlly.

and now a snippet of a rewrite I never was able to finish up. Some of this HAS been retconned. i'm still working at it. mainly the occupation and the backstory stuff. (Context: Bartholomeus is another name for Krampus i dont remember where or when but that's what Megatronus has been substituted with.)

Deer Trax: (chuckles) Okay, fellas! Thanks for the jolly start. You want to give me another one?

Sentry 1: You’re naughty!

Deer Trax: I’ll take that as a no.

Elf-16: (grunts) Hey! Watch where you’re going!

Sentry 1: Oh… What did you say, no-bell?

Elf-16: Sorry, sir, I didn’t mean you. I was referring to the elf who was behind you.

Sentry 2: What? Where’d he go?

Elf-16: The joyous red and blue elf? Has a big grin, merry cheer, gives off a yankee candle scent?

Sentry 1: Where is he?

Elf-16: He went that way.

Sentry 1: When I get my hands on that elf…

Elf-16: All right, all clear.

Deer Trax: Okay, D-16, I may be a little vanilla, but “Yankee ”? That is too far.

Elf-16: Let me guess. Chased out of the cookie jar?

Deer Trax: (laughs) Yeah. I had to jump out of a sleigh this time. Almost got an ouchie (laughs) It was wild.

Elf-16: And digging through fortune cookies is worth getting an ouchie?

Deer Trax: Yes, it is.

Elf-16: I need a new best friend.

Deer Trax: If there are clues in our recorded history that can help locate the North Star, they’re in the cookie jar.

Elf-16: Sentinelf Claus, the Sentinelf Claus, is up in the blizzard right now, risking his merriment for us in search of the Star.

Deer Trax: That’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m trying to help him.

Elf-16: Yeah, okay. (laughs)

Deer Trax: The sooner cookies bake again, the sooner we won’t have to make toys ourselves. Don’t you want to choose your own path, do whatever you want?

Elf-16: We’re toy makers. We make toys, that’s all.

Deer Trax: No, there has got to be something more I can do. I can feel it. (Dentistry?)

Elf-16: Oh, yeah? Like the time you had a “feeling” you could fly without a bell?

Deer Trax: You said you were never gonna mention that again.

Elf-16: Took me three days to dig you out of the snow. Your feelings get you in trouble.

Deer Trax: Yeah, yeah.

Elf-16: Just trust in Sentinelf Claus.

Deer Trax: I do trust in him. Hey, if we did have bells…

Elf-16: I’d fly hooves first into your chest

Deer Trax: I don’t like how fast you answered that. But listen, if you did kick me, I couldn’t give you this awesome Bartholomeus Claus thing I have here. It’s cool. I’ll give it to someone else.

Elf-16: What Bartholomoeus Claus thing?

Deer Trax: Ah, it’s nothing. Just a, you know, mint-condition Bartholomeus Claus sweater, first edition.

Elf-16: (gasps) What?

Deer Trax: If you don’t want it, I can just throw it away.

Elf-16: Throw it away? Don’t… That’s not funny. Let me see.

Deer Trax: Wait. Don’t grab. You’re gonna rip it.

Elf-16: You know, Sentinelf says Bartholomeus was the…

Deer Trax: The kindest Claus to ever live. I know, buddy. Looks good on you.

[margeoww]

Toto Wolff is in a bad mood and bumps into a girl who spills coffee over him and he goes ballistic on her, only to find her waiting in his office later that day and realising that she is his new assistant. And he apologises and accidentally reveals that he thinks she’s pretty.

Spilled Coffee

back to my main masterlist

toto wolff masterlist

pairing: toto wolff x assistant!reader

summary: Toto Wolff, in a foul mood, bumps into a woman who spills coffee on him. After a heated exchange, he discovers that she’s his new assistant. Unapologetically bold and confident, she challenges Toto in ways he didn’t expect, forcing him to rethink his first impression.

warnings: tense initial interactions, light humor.

Toto Wolff’s day was, in a word, terrible. Meetings had dragged on endlessly, strategy discussions had gone nowhere, and the pressure of an underperforming car was taking its toll. By the time he left the conference room, his patience was running on fumes.

All he wanted was a cup of coffee to pull himself together before tackling the mountain of paperwork waiting in his office. But fate, it seemed, had other plans.

As he rounded the corner of the hallway, he collided with someone moving at an equally brisk pace.

A gasp escaped from the other party, and before Toto could react, a wave of hot coffee splashed across his tailored suit.

—What the hell! —Toto barked, taking a step back, glaring down at the mess. His dark suit was stained, the sticky liquid seeping into the fabric.

—Oh, fantastic. —a voice responded sharply. —This is just what I needed.

Toto’s head snapped up at the tone. He was met with a pair of defiant eyes glaring right back at him. The woman standing before him wasn’t apologizing; in fact, she seemed just as annoyed as he was.

—Excuse me? —Toto said, his tone sharp and cutting. —You just ruined a suit worth more than your monthly salary.

She raised an unimpressed eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest. —Maybe if you watched where you were going, this wouldn’t have happened. But sure, blame the person holding the coffee instead of the one charging through the hallway like a freight train.

Toto blinked, momentarily stunned by her boldness. Most people would have been tripping over themselves to apologize, but not her.

—Do you even know who I am? —he asked, his voice low and dangerous.

Her lips twitched into a dry smile. —Oh, I know exactly who you are. Toto Wolff, the team principal of Mercedes-AMG Petronas, right? Well, congratulations. Today, you’re also the guy who doesn’t look where he’s going.

Toto’s jaw clenched, his irritation boiling over. —You-

—You’re welcome for the coffee, by the way —she cut him off, brushing past him with a pointed look. —Consider it a wake-up call..

Toto stood there, speechless, as she walked away.

Later That Day

Toto couldn’t shake the incident. As much as he hated to admit it, her sharp wit and unapologetic attitude had left an impression. Most people didn’t dare speak to him that way, and it gnawed at him.

When he finally returned to his office, he hoped to bury himself in work and forget the whole thing. But as he stepped inside, he stopped short.

Sitting at his desk, flipping through a folder, was the same woman from earlier.

She glanced up as the door opened, her expression neutral. —Oh, you’re back.

—What are you doing here? —Toto demanded, his voice laced with irritation.

She closed the folder and stood, offering a polite but firm smile. —I’m your new assistant.

Toto stared at her, his mind racing to catch up. —You’re—what?

—Your assistant —she repeated. —Surprise.

For the first time in a long while, Toto was at a loss for words. —No one informed me of this.

—Well, I was informed —she said, leaning against the desk casually. —And here I am.

He ran a hand through his hair, trying to suppress the wave of embarrassment washing over him. —Look, about earlier—

She held up a hand, cutting him off. —Don’t bother. I’m not fragile, Mr. Wolff. You were rude, I was rude back. Let’s call it even.

Her bluntness caught him off guard again. Most people tiptoed around him, afraid to upset the boss. But she wasn’t afraid, and it was… refreshing.

—I owe you an apology —Toto said after a pause, his tone more measured. —I was out of line.

She studied him for a moment before nodding. —Accepted. Now, are we done with the awkward apologies, or do you have more to add?

Toto almost smiled. Almost. —You’re… direct.

—Is that a problem?

—No. —he said quickly. —It’s… effective.

As she turned back to his desk, her movements fluid and confident, Toto muttered, almost to himself, —You’re quite pretty when you’re not yelling at me.

The words slipped out before he could stop them.

She froze, glancing back at him with a sharp look. —Excuse me?

Toto’s eyes widened slightly, realizing what he’d said. His ears turned red, a rare show of embarrassment for the usually composed team principal. —I- what I meant was—

She tilted her head, arms crossed. —Are you complimenting me, Mr. Wolff?

Toto cleared his throat, struggling to regain his composure. —It was just an observation. A poor choice of words, perhaps.

Her lips twitched into a smirk, her confidence unwavering. —Noted. For the record, you’re a bit easier to deal with when you’re flustered.

Toto blinked, caught off guard again. She was a force to be reckoned with, and he wasn’t sure if he should be annoyed or impressed.

—I’ll keep that in mind. —he said, his voice softer this time.

She turned back to her work, a quiet laugh escaping her. Toto watched her for a moment longer, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Maybe this wasn’t the worst first day after all.

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Almost every week, for the last maybe 2-2 1/2 years or so, I (27) have been going out to different bars with the same group of people, all of whom are at least twice my age or more and I honestly couldn’t recommend it more for younger people.

I mean to get the bad aspects out of the way upfront, I did (and sometimes still do) have a minor insecurity about being the “annoying child of someone in the group that everyone has to pretend to tolerate”. My stepdad is the one who initiated the hangouts originally, and I initially was just tagging along for free food and booze. No one’s ever done anything to make me feel that way mind you, they are always SUPER accommodating, almost too much sometimes. Sometimes they’ll straight up change topics if they’ve noticed I checked out because I wasn’t interested in what they were talking about. It’s just my own irrational insecurity that crops up from time to time. I also struggle sometimes with explaining this friendship to other people, often referring to them as “my stepdad’s friends” even though we’ve been out together so many times that I could and should very reasonably consider them my friends too. Again, this is a me thing, nothing against them.

We started out doing it with a purpose, we were doing bar trivia every week and having a blast. But over time, we grew kinda bored of the trivia, the format kinda changed, and it started pretty late into the evening, and we ultimately just realized that we actually were just cool hanging out and chatting without needing to have an excuse to be there.

But being the youngest among them, I just find them very interesting to talk to. They’re always talking about their jobs, the good, the bad, and the ugly of them all. Most of them are managers of several people, and they’re the type of managers who care more about their employees than the businesses, so I always feel like I’m hearing a fair assessment of whether an employee is being completely insane, or if the company is screwing them over somehow, or what not. And just how the working world works from their perspective. Not to mention how they got to where they’re at. One went to college and has a masters, one went to college but dropped out and taught himself to code, another just worked his way up from the bottom to the top (yes, they all work in the tech industry lol).

This isn’t even mentioning the fact that my grandfather is there with us as well, and he’s retired now but he had been an electrician for 60+ years prior, and being the oldest of our group, he has like a whole extra generation’s worth of experience to add to the mix too. It’s really great because it kind of adds that extra layer that makes me feel more comfortable in the group (like yeah, I’m the clueless youth compared to most of these guys, but they’re all youths to him too).

I can’t really explain it too well, but I feel like I just absorb life experience by hanging out with this group of people. It’s not all just work talk either, they talk about their personal hobbies, trips they’ve been on or are going on, their kids, food, alcohol, sports, politics, lots of politics, social media nonsense, etc. No one ever gets worked up over things, even when talking politics.

TL;DR: I recommend befriending people much older than yourself. It’s not creepy or weird, and you could learn a lot, even if you might not think so. Just sitting there and absorbing it all I think would benefit a lot of younger people.

I need you people to realize that you can be friends with people older than you. like, much older than you. like, decades older than you. you can be friends with these people. regular friends, just like anyone your age. it is possible.

[sasahuaa]

Can you add scaramouche to your omega character series? He'd be a disastrous omega that needs lots of healing but I'm sure his partner can provide

You're doing great! I love reading your fics and characterization

Scaramouche as an omega

I was really considering Scaramouche before to start with genshin! I was a bit scared to start with Scara because I could see that I would start yapping, and almost did, I had to cut so many things bc my initial idea was to write him in all stages of his life, also not sure if you meant the canon timeline or fatui!scaramouche, but I can do that in the future, for now this fic has some brief mentions of Kabukimono and the fatui. And thank you for the kind words, it means a lot!

gn!reader; cw: contains deep dives into his mindset so he has pessimistic thoughts in some parts (like him thinking that reader is a sort of player, bur nothing too heavy)

This poor omega is indeed disastrous, since the moment his creator abandoned him, Kabukimono was left with a lot of questions regarding his worth. He does not understand, truly, by venturing around he discovered that omegas were not treated with much respect, was that the reason why his mother abandoned him? Does she think an alpha would be more appropriate to be an archon? But he was a puppet, designed by her will, it didn't make sense why she would make him an omega to begin with if that was her reasoning, so what was wrong with him?

The little fledgling was happy during his stay in Tatarasuna, Niwa was a father figure that teached him many skills, and the village helped each other, he was pampered by everyone. What a pity that disaster caused by a doctor's interest befell such a kind community.

Scaramouche felt his dignity crumble more each year, month, day, second that passed. At every step that he was corrupted by the fatui's ideals and methods - his body torn apart from Dottore's experiments - the thoughts of self-doubt grew in his mind. He wasn't enough to be a god, discarded before he had the chance to try, his hands didn't purify the water nor cut through mountains, no one would sing his name in worship, but he also wasn't enough to be human, his skin is artificial, unflawed like porcelain, not even a mechanical heart occupy the emptiness of his hollow chest. Forever lost in between the limbo of where his existence belongs.

For a being so emotional, Scaramouche wonders when was the last time he felt anything besides rage, it doesn't matter too much for him, as he learned how to use his anger as a tool. His underlings - though only in the fatui, as the people of Sumeru never faced the omega's wrath (or better worded, don't remember) - whispered out of his earreach, murmurs wondering if the beautiful omega was capable of love.

And now, carrying the title of Wanderer and face to face with the reason that made the vacant part of him tremble, he finally found the answer.

Courting

Nahida's orders indirectly led him to you, to be a student of the Akademiya would eventually force him to interact with other scholars, you being from Vahumana or not didn't matter, as students from different darshans would often benefited from cooperating. And like many people he met nowadays, he was indifferent at first, which considering his past as The Balladeer, when everyone was an annoying fly in his way, is a considerable improvement.

But for many aspects of life, even as he accepted that this would be something that he never would reach, he was interested in humanity. What makes people human, their flaws, traits, mannerisms and personality, what makes them yield or fill them with confidence. His almost deification didn’t bring him the same satisfaction as he felt with Niwa and the rest of the Tatarasuna people, but watching the Sumeru's citizens may be close enough.

If it's something he can't be, then he will appease himself by observing.

As he looks at alphas, he thinks that this is another thing that he is flawed at. In his studies, Scaramouche determined that omegas supposedly went crazy over alphas, but he never felt it before, or maybe he never gave himself a chance to try. A long time before he learned the consequences of creating genuine connections, that humans tend to betray the same way gods do.

But… he learned that they never did abandon him, that maybe he can trust again.

And while you both worked on your project, these types of thoughts ushered to the top of his mind like never before. You were nice to him,and laughed it off when he was being purposely cunning. You were also attentive, meticulous in your work and doting on him, always bringing him tea or other types of bitter delicacies, and just shrugged when he said there was no need to feed him.

He liked to see your reactions, there were moments when your behaviour took a tired and upset turn, when you mumbled curses about the things that went wrong with your work. It was somewhat relieving and entertaining to witness, that the gentle façade crumbles when faced with challenges.

“It's always better to work with a full stomach” you said, not sparing a thought that he didn't need to eat.

“This is pointless” the omega grumbled, he took a step away from the food.

“So just eat for the satisfaction of it, the success rate of content workers is higher than stressed ones” you insisted, and Scaramouche hated that.

Why do you treat it like there was no trouble in taking care of him? Getting out of your way to please others is dumb, especially for the likes of him.

The omega knows that he is a pessimist, that people always have motives behind their actions, and even Nahida didn't escape his judgement as he does not believe she is merely being kind and benevolent. You are no different, and when he is alone with his thoughts after bidding you goodbye and retiring for the day, he must find your intentions.

As he looks himself in the mirror, Scaramouche looks carefully at his appearance, “alphas and betas are always kinder to pretty omegas, we all know that they only want one thing” it's what the older men from the bazar say. He raises his hands to cup his face, fingers touching smooth skin with no marks, doe indigo eyes look back at him with something akin to divinity, and as he glances lower, he does not think his body lacks in beauty.

That must be it, they clearly are being good to me only to get in my pants!

Scaramouche is not a saint, he knew that, but since he started to work on his path to atonement, he was completely honest about himself. The omega knows that not everyone is like that, people that mask themselves behind lies and generous mannerisms are the worst kind of evil, and to think that you would be capable of that-

Hurts.

There is an annoying pain in his chest and a prickle behind his eyes. He needed proof, he will uncover the worst in you, that's a promise he made to himself.

Scaramouche was snarky and insufferable the following days, refusing to cooperate at all. And though he won't admit it, it was hard for him to do that, your scent wavered with a hint of sadness everytime he was rough, and he felt a need within him clawing to be free, he had to fight himself against releasing a comforting scent to appease you.

But his instinct quieted down whenever he saw you acting honorably to other omegas, when you held the door open for a nobody, or when you generously lent a hand to someone feeling troubled. The rage he felt was immeasurable, he growled lowly and was almost convinced to attack whoever was taking your attention from him.

So he wasn't special at all, he wasn’t needed, he wasn't wanted, it's always like that.

It all came to a boiling point when he snapped at you, harsh words thrown at your directions about what he thought you were doing, messing with omegas hearts just to set them aside when you were done getting what you wanted, truly shameful. Nonetheless, he felt regretful when he saw your pained expression.

“What made you think that?” your voice was quiet, and Scaramouche would prefer if you looked pissed by his accusations, anything to reassure him that he was right “You could have told me you were uncomfortable, I would've stopped”

Uncomfortable? He isn't uncomfortable by your actions towards him, he is… pleased that you did not shy away from a broken thing like him. What he did not like was when you did things for others that he believes should be only for him, and the perceptions he created himself even when you never gave him a reason to.

During all this time Scaramouche was overwhelmed by feelings, and though he is used to feel too much, what he felt about you was completely foreign to him, not the familial care he felt for Niwa and the kid from ages ago, not the gratefulness he felt for Nahida and the traveler for giving him a chance to atone for his mistakes, and not the kinship when he met Durin.

“So are you saying that you were running away from it?” Nahida questioned, placing a flower crown above the omega's head, aranara's joyfully circling around both of them “It's fine to be scared, and if you talk to them about it I am sure they will understand”

“How are you sure that people won't disappoint you? Don't you believe it's easier if you cut the problem by the roof so you never have to discover it?”

“I decide to give an opportunity for everyone to prove themselves, and maybe you would be happily surprised by the results” the goddess cupped his face, pinching the fat of his cheeks and giggling when Scaramouche bat her hands away “You look different since you met them, even your scent doesn't hold that sour end from before”

And he followed Nahida's advice, not because she told him what to do, but staying away from you was killing him inside. This is not normal, is it? To think the world is falling apart just because your desired person is not close by.

Moreover, he guesses that since becoming a citizen of Sumeru he started to work on redeeming himself, what is one more person to apologize for when you acted out of line?

Scaramouche prepared a basket of fruits and Padisarah flowers and headed to your work station, exchanging these types of words is still unfamiliar to him, but he made it very clear that he wanted to improve your relationship.

It's possible that the state of your relationship was just confirmed when someone he was jealous of before questioned him.

“Of course we are courting, don't ask stupid questions”

Honestly, it's possible Scaramouche just came to terms with his feelings after he said that. The omega was still astonished that he is loved back, he doesn't know if he deserves this.

And yet, he can't deny himself the pleasure of being in your arms, taking deep breaths of your scent and resting his eyes with your rumbling under his head. If he is being selfish and taking a good alpha form a good omega, so be it! No one deserves you anyway, if another omega even thinks of taking you from him they will be met with sharp teeth and claws.

You both become inseparable, while it's mostly because he enjoys spending time with you as much as you - and he sees you as one of the few people that it's not a waste of time to be together -, it's also a result of a deeply buried insecurity of being betrayed, he knows that some were misunderstandings, but it's hard to change a mindset after hundreds of years believing in it.

He prefers the reassurance coming from actions instead of words, so when his alpha permit him to scent all of their clothes and also their body, or hold him tight and shows that he belongs by their side when he is feeling bothered by the presence of another, it's moments like this that he feels the most complete.

Scaramouche is truthful in a relationship and he expects you to do the same, if he feels that he needs something and you can provide he will ask, he may not be the romantic type, but everyday he makes it very clear how much he adores you.

He doesn't have a favorite gift to receive - unless you make a table full of sweets, he will complain non-stop if you do that. Spending time together is enough for him, but he appreciates anything you give him, gift him a small plushie and say you thought of him when you saw it, perhaps he will tease you and joke a little, but he will keep it safe. If you give Scaramouche jewelry or any small token, he will bring it with him anywhere he goes. His gifts to you include artifacts he finds when Nahida sends him on expeditions, also Scaramouche doesn't have hobbies for himself, so instead he will engage on yours.

Growling

During the fatui era, growls were very frequent sounds he made, it was almost impossible that someone that worked with him and never heard him growl. And he felt so powerful doing so, a long time ago, while he still lived in Inazuma, omega's were heavily punished if they growled at someone, and though this conservative behavior diminished a lot compared to the past, it was far from being extinguished.

So with his title as a harbinger, Scaramouche growled until they all cowered by his feet, just like a god should be revered.

But since living in Sumeru, he doesn't growl as much anymore, this is because he is not as stressed as before, he lifted the weight off his shoulders that was having to act like something he would never become, he was not trying to sacrifice his body for his objectives anymore. There's the occasional growl when other people irritate him, as a warning to watch their words and actions.

In a relationship with you, Scaramouche also growls when he is feeling jealous or insecure, but overall, he does not growl at you unless he is in a deep mindset that something feels wrong, he will require reassurance in times like this.

Purring

Scaramouche doesn't remember the last time he purred, and now he is almost sure his purr box is broken. The omega has two reasons to think that, one is that it has been centuries, he does not know how to purr due to the disuse of that part of his vocal cords, another is because of the experiments Dottore made on him, turning his body almost inside out.

Nowadays he does not care whether he purrs or not, it's a thing he lived almost his entire life without, and he does not miss it.

If he somehow discovers that he can purr again, it would be an almost inaudible sound. If you want to hear it, you would need to rest your head over his chest, it's more vibrational than vocal. Scaramouche will not purr in public, for him, it's a thing that just both of you should be aware of.

Nesting

Scaramouche does not have a proper nest, actually, what he calls his nest is merely two pillows and one blanket that he carries around his home. at max he will try to put the blanket in a circular shape.

He took a while before introducing you to his nest. He was a bit insecure at first, other omega's have big and filled nests, with an enormous assortment of colors and textures, while his… during the fatui, he would say it was just another thing that proved something was wrong with him.

And he enjoys it so much when you are with him in his nest, you could be just relaxing around the house, and he would bring his blanket and wrap it around you wordlessly. It made him feel warm with adoration whenever he saw you inside something purely his.

He won't get out of his way to buy or make things for his nest, but he will increment it if it is a gift from his alpha. He thinks it is kind of lovable that his alpha would try to get things to make him more comfortable, and Scaramouche deeply appreciates that.

Marking

He marks you all the time, even before you started to officially court. His scent is now almost ingrained into your skin, and if he already had permission to give you a biting mark, he would.

It's not just a sign for other omegas that you are already committed to him, it's also a reminder for you, that you have an omega to come back to, and that he would do anything to keep you with him.

But even after he becomes confident that you won't leave him behind - no omega or yourself is going to separate you from him - he still covers you in his smell, Scaramouche became very fond of the whole process of scent marking and to claim you for himself.

It's therapeutic to him, he will nuzzle quietly your cheeks and bring the scent glands of his wrists to your neck, not a single gland of your go untouched. For him, it's a mandatory procedure that you must go through before leaving home, especially if your agendas oblige you to not be together for the rest of the day.

Subspace

He never entered subspace before you, and it also took a while for you to achieve that. He denied himself the mindset many times before, he felt kinda scared by it, to be so vulnerable. Anytime he felt that his mind was starting to feel like it was becoming cotton filled, Scaramouche immediately backed away from you and tried to distract himself.

When he does enter subspace, he is whiny and clingy, following you around your home and hugging you when you are busy, from behind if you are cooking, sitting on your lap and throwing his arms around your neck while you work.

Scaramouche feels like he took a shot of serotonin when he smells your skin, he is addicted, touching every exposed part of your body to his contentment. He also likes to bite, so you probably will be covered by marks of nibbles by the end of it.

And when he sobers up again he gets flustered easily, he can't believe he let instincts control over his body. He will hiss if you mention anything that he did during subspace. Nonetheless, he will eventually get into it again and the cycle will repeat itself.

☽ ☼ ☾

Scaramouche supposes things should turn out like they were before, that everything would come back to normal, he followed Nahida's advice, the instinct in his gut that begs to be with you, and yet, it seems worse than before. The omega may have had a strong reaction before and jumped into conclusions far from the truth, but he has also gotten used to silently pine for you, not expecting anything from it - maybe he can be and was aggressive towards other people that had your attention, but he won't mention it! -, for he can count the number of times in his long life that situations turned into his favor.

But Scaramouche reminded himself that he has to learn that your entire existence is too good to be true. You give him hope in many ways that he never imagined before. Your arms are stretched before him, holding a light blue and soft blanket.

“And for what reason would you give me that?” he stepped forward, picking the material from your hands.

“Can't you guess?” you chuckled and shook your head, the movement dispersed your scent that was reeking of amusement “If anything, see it as a gift to compensate the time we spend apart, to show how much I cherish you”

His eyes widen at the proclamation, under his nose he can smell that the blanket is scented. An item for a nest and carrying your smell, isn't that a sign of a courting gift? He couldn't help but hug the blanket tighter at the thought.

“Thank you for trying to look out for me”

For a long time he desired for a normal life, all his objectives from the past had the intention to lead to it, sadly all was for nothing, and he hopes he didn't look pitiful for that. And yet, in front of him, he saw an opportunity for that, he just needed to reach for you.

Once again, he gives himself the chance to dream of a better future.

[yuurivoice]

Hi Yuuri, do you think that Faust knows about Trish's feelings for Auron's Mom?

I think he and 99% of viewers who don't know what we're talking about rn are probably oblivious. 😂

We should probably wait for things to actually be in the text itself and not just us bullshitting on stream before contemplating such.

But also, again, Faust likely views Trish as being lumped in with Auron and isn't analyzing the interpersonal relationships of it all because he's got big feelings that are much more relevant to him and his situation.

It's also worth considering the amount of time we're talking about here. If Trish was present at Auron's birth, we're talking about a significant amount of time spent caring about someone. There's likely been well enough time for all of the obvious tells to fade due to acceptance. Trish wouldn't be giggling and playing with her hair every time Mama Auron came around. Love that endures like that is quiet. You spend time grieving the opportunities you had to confess, the amount of time lost, etc. so realistically I don't think Faust would have clocked anything.

...should have took my own advice on waiting to dive into all that, but...it's fun. 😂

[autisticlalna]

hm.

ruby stream today was fun! but there was... some weird. and by weird i mean lore hints.

the one that came up a few times is that their armor has new names! their elytra is back to being Lightning Rod (Rue misplaced it for a while), but the sillier names its armor had, and Rue's work uniform, is now Past, Never, Present, and Future.

there was also a comment made about how she was using very specific colors to trim them with. Past, the helmet, is blue. Present, the pants, is purple. Future, the boots, are red. and Never is untrimmed on suggestion from chat, but was going to be either black or white.

sighs. opens Clocktower transcript.

Sapphire: It’s the… past. The future. The now… and the never. Four concepts of time! Just like the four directions. North, south, east, and west. You should know, don’t you.

once again: Cherruby's getting put in the time blender. that's been noted for a while now, but now that he's awake again we're getting more confirmation on it.

there was also a couple other things! Anathra showed Ruby and Doovid around Icekea's break room, and Ruby paid a lot of attention to the clock and compass on display for decoration purposes. especially the clock. normal Ruby behavior at this point tbh, but worth taking note of.

what isn't Ruby behavior is... whatever happened between them and Dr. Tube when they briefly showed up to stop Ruby and Doovid from clowning around in Acacia. first we get Ruby staring at them and saying they remind her of someone-- this could be the whole clone thing, but Ruby immediately in-character clocked them as being Tube, not Trog, and being mysterious about them reminding her of Trog would be weird considering they're both very aware of each other by now.

after fae leaves is when we get the part i don't know what to do with yet besides gesture at it.

Bye Tube! Much love! Ah... Never gonna say b- uh, got to say bye to my own Tube. Hm.

look. Cherruby has been weird ever since che got untubed. there's whatever happened with Endbyco on Avid's stream (link includes the convo abt Sapphire but not Endbyco being sus about "normal kingdom behavior"), there's whatever happened with cher and Yellow in Viking's episode, and now there's this entire interaction with Dr. Tube. Cherruby being weird is very "fork found in kitchen" at this point but, man, what is going on.

now im thinking about my original theory way at the start where Cherruby's mimicry is bleedover from other timelines where she was partnered up with other people. there's definitely some kind of timeline bleed with what's going on between her and Viking. this feels more advanced than that, though.

[saveyourblood]

Pretty Boy - Ch 13 (Buddie x Reader)

Summary: You can feel Buck staring. When your eyes meet his, you realize he’s staring at your hand, which is still on Eddie’s knee. You slowly retreat, which makes Buck turn his attention to your face. You smile softly. He just looks out the window. The one where you’re an advanced paramedic, Buck and Eddie are firefighters, and you think you might be in love with both of them.

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | Ch 10 | Ch 11 | Ch 12

Chapter Summary: It's back to work for you and your boys, but it wouldn't be the 118 if there weren't a few bumps in the road — or prisoners in the ambulance.

Word Count: 3.4k Warnings: violence

You’re good at a lot of things, but keeping secrets isn’t one of them. When the Christmas season rolls around, you can’t buy gifts too far in advance because if you do, all you can think about is telling the person what you got them. If someone asks, “Can we keep this between us?” you start to sweat a little. If someone catches you in a lie, it doesn’t take much for them to get the information out of you.

This is the biggest secret of your life. It involves everyone you care about in at least some way. You really don’t want to fuck it up.

Everyone knows you and Buck are dating. They know you’re living together. What they don’t know is that you’ve spent the last three months living with Eddie. They don’t know that you and Buck are also dating Eddie and that he’s dating both of you.

They don’t care that you and Buck are dating. Would they care that the three of you are dating? You aren’t sure. But the thought of revealing it ties your intestines into knots and makes your heart beat a little faster.

You all decided that, for now, it would be best to act like nothing is going on. Eddie is just getting back to work after the shooting, and the last thing he needs is for the transition back to be even harder.

Eddie Diaz is a secret worth keeping; you just can’t help but wonder if he doesn’t want to be kept. It isn’t exactly fair that you and Buck get to go on like normal, leaving him in the shadows. Eddie’s assured you both many times that he doesn’t feel left out — that he gets it. It doesn’t untie any of the knots in your stomach, though.

And then there’s the Christopher thing.

He’s a smart kid, smart enough to know that something is going on. You and Buck visited at least once a week before the shooting, so it’s not like your recent presence tilted the world on its axis. You definitely never spent this much time, though. And the more comfortable you’re getting in the relationship, the less careful you’re getting.

More than once, Christopher has walked into the living room when your legs are in Eddie’s lap or his arm is around your shoulders. Eddie quickly corrects the positioning, gently moving your legs or lifting his arm. All of his focus shifts to his son in a matter of seconds, like you aren’t even sitting next to him. Chris always spares you a few extra glances, but he doesn’t say anything.

Overall, though, everything and everyone is comfortable. Or, at the bare minimum, you have no reason to believe otherwise.

The four of you are sitting around the kitchen table, silently enjoying dinner. Christopher decides to break the silence.

“Are you going to be my new mom?”

You nearly choke on your drink. You cough a few times, and Buck pats your back in silent reassurance. You can’t look away from Eddie, who’s sitting across from you and next to his son.

His mouth is slack open in surprise, but he recovers quickly. He angles his chair to Christopher, clearing his throat. “What makes you ask that, buddy?”

“You help me get ready like a mom. You make dinner like a mom. You’re here a lot, like a mom.”

It sounds so simple when he lays it out like that, so simple that it’s almost impossible to refute. But… you’re supposed to refute it, right?

“I’m… your dad’s friend,” you eventually say. “I care about you both a lot.”

Chris stares at you, considering this. Eddie does the same.

“Maybe that’s better than having a mom,” Chris says, then continues to eat.

You see the tension in Eddie’s shoulders evaporate. He lets out a breath he probably didn’t even realize he was holding.

Buck isn’t entirely satisfied with that answer, though.

“Chris, why would that be better?” Buck asks. His tone is a little hesitant, but even as a parallel line.

“My mom died, and I miss her,” Chris answers simply. “I don’t want her to die, too. I don’t want to miss anyone else.”

It’s been over a year since Shannon’s accident — a whole year of Christopher’s life without his mother. The worst part about it is it can’t be fixed. Eddie’s told you how Shannon left and how hard it was to let her back into their son’s life. He did, though, because he thought it would be best for everyone. She was gone, but Eddie brought her back. He can’t bring her back again, and it’s probably killing him.

You rub your lips together in contemplation. “You know, Chris, my mom died too.”

Chris looks at you with wide eyes. “Really?”

He sounds so hopeful about having this in common with you. It makes your chest ache.

“Yeah,” you say softly. “She died when I was a baby. I don’t remember her, but I still miss her. And it hurts, missing your mom, but it won’t hurt forever. One day, you’ll be able to think of her, and it won’t hurt. And until then, I’ll be here. Because I’m not going anywhere.”

The first call you work as a triad is a fucking doozy.

You’re called to Jamestown State Prison, where a riot is underway. That’s not why the 118 is there, though; the prisoners started some fires, and it’s your job to put them out. Both Buck and Eddie suggested you stay behind, that you probably wouldn’t be needed. You felt your face flush red and were greeted with suspicious looks from Bobby, Chimney, and especially Hen. You brushed them off, said that you can take care of yourself.

Now that you’re actually here, though, you kind of wish you listened to your boyfriends.

The team has to be ushered around the building by four men in total SWAT gear. You’re taken through automated doors and down long hallways, most of which have blood splatters on the wall and random debris scattered throughout. You finally make it to the HVAC corridor, where the primary fire is burning.

“Buck, Eddie, put up a water curtain,” Bobby instructs.

You survey the room and notice that the top of the walls are lined with fans. “Cap, they’re going to keep sucking smoke up into the system.”

He looks at the fans, then back at you. “Find the killswitch, let me know when you got it.”

You nod once and start walking along the wall. You’re up to date on your firefighting certification, but when you actually find yourself decked out in all the gear, it’s as if that part of your brain short-circuits. You never want to find yourself in an important role when it comes to firefighting. Finding a killswitch, though? You could do that in your sleep.

You quickly find a grey box with a red switch on it. With a little force, you pull it down, and you can hear the equipment shut down. “Got it!”

The boys put out the fire a few minutes later, and the team is ready to move out. Three of your four escorts had to take off and help control a different area, leaving you with one guard to walk you all out.

As you make your way back through a random room, you hear a strange sound. It stops you dead in your tracks.

“Did you guys hear that?” You ask, looking around. “Someone’s here.”

“No, this area is secure,” the guard says.

You disregard his response, instead following the sound. You turn the corner and see two men laying on the floor, side by side.

“Over here!” you shout, sliding your medi-bag off your shoulder as you approach the men.

They’re in blue and white clothes, similar to scrubs — prisoners. Due to their injuries, however, they’re hardly a threat. Both of their faces are bloodied and swollen. One has a decent laceration to the abdomen, while the other has a nasty upper airway sound.

“Airway is compromised,” you verbalize, gently palpating his neck. “I think his trachea is crushed.”

“Leave ‘em, they’re scumbags,” the guard retorts.

“We’re not leaving anyone,” Bobby protests. “ Let's get 'em up and out. No time for gurneys.”

Buck and Eddie help carry the airway patient while Bobby and Hen take care of the laceration patient. The guard leads you all out, and you’re hot on his heels. You hate to think what would happen if you got separated from the group.

You make it to the last hallway when Hen starts shouting.

“Stop, stop stop! He’s having a seizure,” she shouts, planting her feet in place.

The final gate opens, and you look back at Bobby, who’s helping lower the prisoner to the ground.

“You three go, we’ll be right behind you.”

You swallow. “Captain-”

“That’s an order!” He cuts you off. “Go!”

You make it to the last door. The guard keeps it propped open as Buck and Eddie walk out. You’re already rushing to the rig to get the gurney out.

“I gotta get back in there,” he explains. “Protocol says you need two guards with you. Don’t leave without an escort, all right?”

“Copy that,” you say as you pull the gurney out.

Moments after the three of you settle the patient, two officers in green jackets are at the back of the rig. You gesture for one to come in, while Buck hops out and leads the other to the front.

A few minutes into the ride, Buck turns off the sirens. You frown, looking towards the cab in confusion. When you turn back around, one of the ‘officers’ is pointing his gun at you.

“I can’t thank you three enough,” he says. “I’ve waited 18 years to get the hell out of that place.”

Buck pulls over, and the three of you are ushered out of the rig at gunpoint.

“Okay, so you broke out… what now?” Eddie asks.

The shorter prisoner says nothing as he rifles through Eddie’s pockets.

“The patient in there,” you continue, tilting your chin to the ambulance, “is that your handiwork?”

He moves on to you, a sick smile on his face as he digs through your pockets. He comes back with your phone and wallet. He walks back to the rig to talk to his co-conspirator.

“What do we do?” Buck asks in a low voice.

“Don’t know yet,” Eddie responds.

“Maybe they just want the ambulance?”

“Then why would they search us?” you counter. “There’s three of us, and two of them.”

“Cute kid,” one of the prisoners interrupts. He holds up a picture of Chris, the one Eddie keeps in his wallet. “Yours? I’m guessing he lives with you at 4995 South Bedford Street?”

Buck steps forward. “Hey, man, don’t even-”

The other prisoner pistol-whips him.

“Okay, so now that we're all on the same page, here's what's gonna happen next.”

With the boys’ help, the prisoners locate the GPS in the rig and remove it, leaving it on the side of the road. The three of you are forced into the back of the ambulance while one of them drives.

You keep staring at the prisoner. It probably isn’t the best idea, considering his gun is aimed at you. You can’t help it, though. He looks… familiar.

“I know you,” you say.

He frowns and scoffs out a laugh. “What?”

“I’ve seen you somewhere,” you continue, still observing his features.

The patient starts to sputter. Eddie turns his head to the side, and you reach for the suction without prompting.

“...Trent, something,” you say as you hand Eddie the suction catheter. You don’t look away from the prisoner. “Am I right?”

He breaks eye contact.

“You’re on death row,” you say, nodding as you get more confident. “Yeah, you were convicted of triple homicide.”

“He can’t protect his airway,” Eddie observes as he moves the suction catheter around. “We need to intubate.”

“Almost there, Mitch,” the man driving chimes in.

Buck looks out the window, his brow furrowing. “Wait, you guys are serious? We’re really going to a hospital?”

“I thought that’s what you wanted,” Mitch mocks. “You’re so concerned about the health of your friend here. Now you can walk him through the front door.”

“Initiating RSI,” you say, ignoring the arguing men around you. “Eddie, start bagging, I’ll get the meds.”

You and Eddie intubate smoothly, like you have countless times. You push the meds, Eddie waits about 45 seconds before moving the BVM and replacing it with a Mac blade. He advances the tube and pulls the guidewire, and as he attaches the bag valve to the tube, you hover your stethoscope over the patient’s lungs. Eddie administers a breath, and you can hear it. You move to the other side and listen before pulling the stethoscope from your ears.

“Breath sounds bilateral,” you say, slinging your stethoscope around your neck. “Nice work.”

“Very nice work,” Mitch agrees, though he doesn’t sound genuine. “Now you two,” he says, gesturing between you and Buck, “get him inside.”

“Hey, man, listen, I don't know what you want, but there is a hospital full of sick people…” Buck protests.

“Just go, or I’ll shoot you,” Mitch states. “Or her. Or him. And then I find his kid, and I shoot him too.”

“Buck,” Eddie says simply. His tone leaves no room for argument.

You lean over to make eye contact with Eddie. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

He looks up and down your face before nodding. “I’ll see you later.”

You and Buck get the patient inside. You’re escorted by Mitch’s co-conspirator, Dom. Once you get into the ER, it’s a ghost town; no one’s at the front desk, and the triage bay is empty of both staff and patients. A sense of dread pools into the base of your stomach. The dread is replaced with realization when you get tackled to the floor.

“I’m a paramedic!” you shout after saying your name. “I’m with the 118. That’s Evan Buckley, he’s a firefighter. Get the hell off of me!”

You hear Athena shout your name, then Buck’s. “Those two are good, let them up.”

The officers turn you around and offer you a hand, helping you to your feet as they apologize.

“Are you two okay?” Athena asks.

You look over Buck. He’s got a good injury to his left temple from where he was pistol-whipped; where the skin isn’t broken, it’s bruising red and purple. His head is probably pounding.

“We’re good,” Buck confirms. “How’d you know we were coming here?”

“We figured out why Mitchell broke out,” Athena explains. “Where is he?”

“Still in the ambulance,” you say, “with Eddie.”

After a while of radio static, you convince Buck to let you check him out. He’s sitting on an ER gurney, and you’re standing beside him, crossing a penlight through his vision.

“All he wants is to donate his heart,” Buck mumbles. “Why won’t they just let him?”

“You heard them, Buck: it’s against the law,” You respond, pocketing your pen. You hold out your index fingers. “Squeeze.”

He does as he’s told, and his strength is equal, just like his pupils. You can rule out a hemorrhage or hematoma of any kind, though you aren’t convinced he doesn’t have a concussion.

“Any nausea? Dizziness?” you ask, folding your arms across your chest.

“No, just a killer headache,” Buck says.

“Not surprising,” you chuckle.

You don some gloves and pick up a swab. You swipe the antiseptic over the cut on Buck’s face. He winces for a second, then goes back to wringing his hands together. You apply a bandaid, then use one hand to tilt his chin up so you can look him in the eye.

“Eddie will be okay,” you promise softly.

“How do you know that?”

“Because he’s always okay.”

You hear a single gunshot.

You find yourself running through the ER and out the front doors, Buck only a few paces behind you. You’re both screaming Eddie’s name, and you don’t stop until you can see him.

He’s at the back of the rig, crouching over Mitch as he does chest compressions.

Eddie makes eye contact with you. “Go get the crash cart.”

“What the hell happened?” You ask, panting.

“He shot himself. The bullet hit his brain. Go tell the hospital they need a crash team out here. They need to prep an OR.”

“Eddie, he’s dead,” Buck says.

“But his heart isn’t, and I need it to stay that way,” Eddie explains. “Go!”

Buck runs back into the hospital, shouting for help. You kneel opposite of Eddie, locking your hands together.

“I’m ready whenever you are,” you tell him.

“198, 199, 200,” Eddie says.

You quickly take over compressions, counting under your breath.

Athena and her boss find a loophole, and Mitch is able to donate his heart to his son, Nolan. They started surgery hours ago, and you wouldn’t be surprised if there were a few more hours to go.

You look over at Eddie, who’s sitting beside you. You nudge your knee against his. He looks up, and you smile.

“Are you okay?” you ask softly.

Eddie sighs and runs a hand down his face before nodding. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“He told you about his plan,” you say. It isn’t a question. If Eddie hadn’t known, he wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of trying to ‘save’ Mitch.

“Yeah, he did.”

“And you went along with it,” you continue. “Why?”

Eddie frowns. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because he threatened to kill you, and me, and Buck, and your son. I think that’s four good reasons right there.”

Eddie averts his gaze. “After he told me his plan… he stopped being a prisoner. Or, at least, I stopped seeing him as one. He was just a dad trying to save his kid. God knows I would do the same for Chris.”

“Well, I think you’d have some competition,” you say lightheartedly. You lean forward to see Buck in the chair nect to Eddie. His legs are extended and his shoulders scrunched to his neck as he dozes off.

“Yeah, I definitely would,” Eddie agrees with a smile. He rubs his hands over his legs before standing. “I’m getting coffee. Want some?”

“Coffee sounds great,” you say with a smile.

Eddie walks off. Hen quickly takes his seat.

“Hey,” she greets, settling into the chair.

“Hey,” you return. “How did things shake out at Jamestown?”

Hen grins. “I got to perfrom surgery.”

“Shut up.”

“Seriously,” she laughs joyfully. “End-to-end anastomosis of the splenic artery.”

“On the guard you and Cap rescued?”

She nods. “Sounds like he’ll be making a full recovery.”

You raise your hand for a high-five. “Way to go, Dr. Wilson.”

She grins and slaps your hand before holding and squeezing it. You both laugh and grin.

Hen continues holding your hand, running her thumb over the back of it. “Can I ask you something?”

You smile. “Of course.”

“Are you dating Eddie?”

You heart jumps into your throat. “I’m dating Buck.”

“Are you also dating Eddie?”

The way she phrases it makes it sound so… simple. God, you wish it were that simple.

The more that you think about it, though… why isn’t it that simple? All the random details are yours to work through with your partners behind closed doors. When it comes to your work and personal life, why can’t you simply be dating two guys who are also dating each other?

“We aren’t telling people yet,” you whisper. “But… yes. Buck and I are dating Eddie.”

Hen’s eyes widen and her eyebrows raise. “Both of you?”

Your heart goes from your throat up to your head and pounds mercilessly. Maybe she isn’t cool with it like you thought she’d be. The idea of that makes your stomach sick and your limbs numb.

“Well, it’s about damn time.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “You sure you’re okay with it?”

“Are you happy? All three of you?”

You nod.

“I love you all, and if you make each other happy, then why wouldn’t I be okay with it?”

Your eyes well with tears; you didn’t realize how badly you needed to hear someone you love say that. Your secret is out, and it doesn’t matter. You couldn’t be happier.

You pull Hen into a hug. It’s a little awkward since you’re both sitting, but you don’t care, and neither does she.

[lesbicosmos-writes]

again very very late but i wrote a fic for the day 6 prompt of @paynelandpromptfest !!

prompt: star / "make a wish"

summary: charles and edwin are in love and they stargaze on the roof on christmas thats it thats the fic <3

notes: very late for the prompt day but in time for christmas so that's all that matters <3

also on ao3!!

in a sky full of stars, i think i see you

Christmas had always been both Edwin and Charles’s favourite holiday, even when they were alive. Edwin because he loved the traditions, the decorations, the general joy of it all, and Charles because he loved giving gifts to people. Even if he didn’t receive anything in return, he loved seeing people’s reactions to things he got for them. Also, Christmas was about one of the only times where he felt like he could relax in his own house. They always had family over for a few days, so his dad was less rough. For just a few days, he could pretend like they were a normal family.

But nothing compared to Christmas with Edwin.

He hadn’t expected Edwin to love the holiday as much as he did, but it was amazing being able to show him the way traditions had changed since he was alive. They celebrated in their own special way every year, picking up little routines and rituals constantly.

Their Christmas was always a mixture of things Edwin loved when he was alive, things Charles loved when he was alive, and more modern things. Their office was decorated with both the holly and paperchains of Edwin’s childhood, and the brightly coloured lights and baubles that brought nostalgia for Charles. They’d play both classic carols and more modern hits on their record player. It was strange and a little all over the place but it was perfect and it was them.

Then, Crystal and Niko came into their afterlives and suddenly there were more people to celebrate with. Crystal raised an eyebrow at their strange little rituals at first, but eventually realised that they were just so true to the boys. Of course this would be how they celebrate.

This year specifically, since the relationship between the two of them had developed another layer if intimacy, yet another tradition had manifested itself in Charles and Edwin’s festive routine – mistletoe. There was a sprig hung from every doorway in the office, and the two took every possible opportunity to kiss beneath it. Edwin had always thought the idea a little silly when he was alive, but he hadn’t considered it in the context of himself having someone he could openly love in that way to kiss under the shining white berries. He’d always just been forced to sit there and cringe while his extended family members pretended that they hadn’t noticed the plant before despite having already kissed beneath it several times in the past two hours. It was quite ironic, in retrospect, that he was now the one in their place seizing every opportunity to get his lips on Charles’s, despite the fact he didn’t really need an excuse to at all.

The girls had gone out to do their own celebrations on Christmas Eve, then crashed at the office for the night so they could all open gifts together at the crack of dawn – much to the insistence of Charles and Niko.

A case came up in the middle of the day that they all had to run out and solve, but for the most part, their Christmas was a fairly chilled one, the four of them all just playing games together in the office. Edwin scoffed at the terrible jokes in the crackers, and Charles once again got very sad he couldn’t eat when Niko and Crystal brought in practically their entire kitchen cupboard’s worth of savoury snacks. Edwin vowed to find some spell that would allow ghosts to eat.

Eventually the girls fell asleep on the sofa, leaving Charles and Edwin practically alone in the office.

“It’s a surprisingly clear night,” Edwin noted, gazing out of the office window above the streets of London.

Brightly coloured lights shone in the surrounding streets, and they could quietly hear the music and chatter of the party going on in one of the blocks of flats across the road. Edwin looked up, away from the lights, and had an idea.

“I think this would be a perfect night for stargazing. Would you care to join me on the roof, Charles?”

“Course, mate,” Charles replied.

Language was one of Edwin’s passions, and he would constantly correct people if they used a word incorrectly or at the wrong time. And yet, he never corrected Charles calling him mate despite their growing romance. Somehow he had managed to take a common moniker used between friends and turn it into the most romantic petname Edwin could imagine. It was the way he said it; so naturally, so proudly, so full of love and feeling. Besides, there was nothing to correct about it in the first place. They were mates – best mates – and always would be. No matter the changes their relationship went through, no matter the colour or shape of the feelings between them; at their core they would always be two best friends. Two boys who found each other in their worst moments, a light in the other’s darkness, and felt nothing but love. Love – not just attraction - for the other person, just because of who they were. Edwin had always thought it was beautiful.

So when Charles called him mate, with that soft glint in his eyes and that smitten smile on his face, Edwin didn’t question or correct. He just smiled back.

“I’ll be out in a sec though, yeah? I’ve got an idea.”

“An idea?” Edwin asked, intrigued.

“Yeah, and it’s a surprise idea so you go sit up on the roof and I’ll meet you there.”

Charles pressed a soft kiss to Edwin’s cheek before ushering him out of the office.

Edwin took an unnecessary breath as he stepped out onto the roof of the abandoned building their office resided in, as though acclimatising to the cold December air despite being unable to feel its effects on his skin.

He looked up at the sky. From several storeys up, the light pollution wasn’t quite as bad - although it was still central London, so that didn’t really make much difference. Only a few constellations were visible directly above. He’d always thought it was a shame, really, the fact that advancements in technology meant they were no longer able to observe the natural universe around them to quite the same degree.

Edwin had always loved stargazing. When he was alive, his family had bought him books about the stars for Christmas every year since he was a small child, and he was obsessed. He never really understood the astrological beliefs surrounding them – although he had become more intrigued after reading the book Monty gave him in Port Townsend. No, he was always more captivated by the science behind them; those huge spheres of energy roaring away lightyears away from Earth. It made him feel insignificant at times, but he’d become used to that. It was easier to accept his insignificance on a cosmic scale than to accept it on a much closer one.

Then he met Charles, and gradually his thoughts about the cosmos became much less about insignificance and more about how lucky they were that they existed. Knowing that there was so much out there, and yet here was the only place that life had been found, that a new kind of life could somehow begin even after death; it felt special.

He never felt insignificant when Charles was by his side.

As though aware Edwin was thinking about him – which he probably was, considering there’s rarely a time Edwin isn’t - Charles stepped onto the roof behind him. Edwin turned around to find him standing there with a pile of blankets and pillows in his arms.

“Charles,” Edwin chuckled, shaking his head slightly as he walked towards him.

“What?”

“We do not feel the cold!”

“I know but, like, it’s the vibe innit? Snuggling up together under blankets and watching the stars.”

“You’re quite the hopeless romantic, aren’t you?”

“Yep,” Charles grinned, stepping towards Edwin and handing him a few pillows from the pile.

They set their little spot up – one blanket on the ground to sit on with pillows against the wall – and sat beside one another, the other two blankets covering them both.

Edwin swore he felt a rush of warmth as he relaxed into the soft knitted material, but he was quite sure that was less to do with the blankets themselves and more to do with Charles’s presence, leaning his head on his shoulder and cuddling up close. They were facing each other just a little, their hands clasped together in between them covered by the thick blanket.

“This is nice,” Charles said, gently brushing his thumb over Edwin’s hand in the way he knew drove him a little insane with affection.

“Hmm,” Edwin hummed in agreement.

They sat together in silence for a while, snuggled up to one another, until Charles turned his head just enough to whisper in Edwin’s ear.

“Make a wish,” he said.

“Charles, there aren’t any comets,” Edwin smiled.

“Make one anyway. There's always a shooting star somewhere.”

He had a point.

“The greatest wish I never even thought I was allowed to have has already come true. I don’t know what else there is,” he said, looking down at the top of Charles’s head on his shoulder.

“Well, I wish that every Christmas is as brills as this one.”

“You know if you say it aloud it won’t come true?” Edwin moved his head away from Charles momentarily, questioning.

“Nah. That doesn’t count when it’s you.” Charles looked up into his eyes. “Telling you doesn’t feel like revealing it to someone. It’s like you already know anyway.”

Edwin just smiled.

“Go on then, what’s yours?”

“Hmm. I suppose...” Edwin thought for a moment. “I wish for an infinite bookshelf.”

“Oh.” Charles laughed, taken aback.

“What?”

“Sorry, I guess I was expecting it to be something about us.”

“I told you, I already have everything I could possibly wish for in that department,” Edwin said proudly.

“You flirt,” Charles grinned, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “Infinite bookshelf would be pretty brills, though. It’d be like my backpack, only way more organised.”

“We could have several libraries worth of books and yet never run out of space in the office.”

“That’d definitely make case research easier.”

“Precisely. Which would leave us with more time for... other things.”

Charles moved out of the embrace but kept one arm around Edwin’s waist, his eyebrow raising with his smirk.

“Oh yeah?” he teased. “What other things you thinking of?”

“You know what things I’m thinking of.”

“Damn, who would’ve taken Edwin Payne for an insatiable horny teenager?” Charles said, he amusement evident in his voice.

Edwin laughed, a real open from-the-heart laugh that Charles had never heard around anyone but himself and the girls. “It’s you. You corrupted me,” he half-joked.

“Can’t exactly say I’m complaining.” Charles pulled him closer so that he could press light kisses to Edwin’s neck.

“Besides, I didn’t only mean... that,” Edwin argued, his voice shaking slightly at the contact. “I also meant we would have more time for things like this,” he Charles’s hand a light squeeze under the blanket.

“This is definitely good, love,” Charles replied, squeezing back and shuffling somehow even closer, nuzzling his head into his neck.

They couldn’t fall asleep, not really, but they got as close as they could; snuggled up against each other on the rooftop as the 25th of December ticked away into the 26th.

They’d stargazed on Christmas a few times before, the first time being December of 1990, back when they’d barely known each other a year and had just set up the agency, operating out of a treehouse in an old woman’s back garden. They’d climbed on top of the wooden structure, and Edwin pointed out all the constellations they could see above the horizon. That night, there had been a shooting star passing overhead, and Edwin had wished on it. He’d wished that Charles would stay with him for the rest of their afterlives. At the time, he’d thought it foolish and naïve. Surely Charles would eventually move on, perhaps Edwin would – they couldn’t spend the rest of eternity playing detective together, could they?

Well, thirty-four years on, Edwin was starting to believe that maybe that wish had come true, but it wasn’t entirely down to the star.

Sure, their little Christmas routine changed over the years; but so had their existences, their relationship, the people around them. And no matter what changed, the holidays always brought the same warmth to the still hearts of two boys who may not have been given as many Christmases to live as they should have been, but more than made up for it in their afterlives, and would continue to do so for as long as there were stars in the sky to wish upon.  

[theamityelf]

What about the members of class 77? What if they were Kamukuras?

(Kamukura Wrangler AU Masterlist)

I'm glad you asked, because I do like to imagine that Nagito also gets tossed into a room with his Kamukurized classmates.

I'm imagining it happens long after Makoto meets his, because it would be weird for the scientists to start with Izuru (a Kamukura made from a talentless person), then make a batch of Kamukuras from Ultimates (already a potentially significant variable) and then vary it up again by giving those Ultimates a non-talented plaything.

How I'm imagining it plays out is, they made Izuru, they then made the 77th class into Kamukuras in the same way as Izuru (meaning, all isolated from each other with no human plaything), and then they made the 78th class as a more socialized version of the project, given each other for company and then Makoto for...I'm going to call it stress relief, lol.

After Makoto has had a while with the 78th class and changes have been seen as a result (positive and negative ones, in their eyes; they don't want the Kamukuras to be as emotional as some of them have become, but others of them have mainly just grown more agreeable or more motivated), they decide to try letting the 77th class Kamukuras socialize more. Not on the same scale as the 78th class, where they live together in a section of the labs and have a pet luckster, but maybe they get to visit each other, maybe Nagito is brought in to visit them individually, etc.

Quick overview:

Impostor- I think they might have fully lost him. Impostor is still in the labs, but you wouldn't know it. He hasn't been in his cell pretty much since they finished altering him. Sometimes he's impersonating one of the doctors, scientists, etc. Sometimes he's just straight hiding. They know he's around here somewhere, but they simply have no way to pin him down.

They do their best to make sure he can't get outside, wherever he is, but there are plenty of times where he has the opportunity to leave and just chooses not to. He's got to be sleeping somewhere, he's got to be eating something, he's got to be using the bathroom, but no one can ever catch him. They just sometimes find that half of their lunch was eaten from the faculty fridge, but there's no sign of him on the security cameras.

Teruteru- He submits to anyone's authority, always. All Kamukuras are meant to be receptive to command, to make them effective tools, and this shows in all of them to very different degrees. For Teruteru's part, he is indiscriminately ready to be used, so much so that it actually makes him useless. You can't trust a doctor who will do whatever anyone says. You certainly can't trust an assassin who would do whatever anyone says. They've decided that they can never let him out of his room and can only let a privileged few people around him. Nagito might not get to meet him.

Mahiru- Already got some characterization in the main Kamukuras AU.

In this scenario, she's very detached from Nagito and not especially interested in him, but she's willing to talk to him, and she'll avenge him if he's killed or Kamukurized.

Peko- Loyal to the Steering Committee, but knows she's smarter than them, so while she adopts their goals out of subservience to their will, she will disobey their immediate orders if she has a better idea. She doesn't consider herself or the other Kamukuras human in a meaningful way.

When Nagito is taken to meet her, she is 100% indifferent to him at first. She doesn't need to socialize or play or anything else. She's an instrument of the Steering Committee.

Hiyoko- She does not consider non-Kamukuras to be worth pretty much anything. Her long-term goal is to overthrow the scientists and let the lab be run by the Kamukuras. She doesn't particularly care about escaping the labs.

She calls Nagito worthless, when he's presented to her, but he agrees with her, and ultimately they're a dangerous pair. Hiyoko's plot to take over the labs is going to happen. (It can coincide with the 78th class's plot to flee the labs. One triggers the other; either the 78th class's escape gives the 77th class their chance to take over the labs, or the 77th class's takeover gives the 78th class their chance to escape. Izuru himself is somewhere in the mix, and who knows if all the 78th class makes it out.)

She also plans to make Nagito a Kamukura. She considers it a reward, an ascension for the human who knew his place. The others will stop her.

Ibuki- She's scratching the walls with her nails. She bites anyone who enters her cell. She speaks exclusively in a language that she made up. It has real syntactical rules and lots of false cognates to confuse people. (The other Kamukuras are able to figure out the rules of her language, if they're allowed around her.) Also sometimes she makes animal sounds. Her vibe is deliberately off-putting; the scientists are really unsettled by her. Scared, even. She laughs at them. The laughter creeps them out even more.

She's not interested in killing anyone, and won't. She actually likes to cuddle as much as she likes to bite. When Nagito visits her, he has to stay the night, because she won't let him go. After a few visits, she's willing to speak to him in Japanese every now and then. Not full conversations; just short warnings, like, "Watch your step," or commands, like, "More." (He's the one bringing most of them food, now, so maybe she's demanding larger portions. But he also eats with some of them, so she might be telling him to eat more.)

Mikan- She knows that she is a new person created from an existing person, and from this she reasons that she should be a baby. (Not quite literally, but something close.) So she analyzes people in silence, looking for someone to imprint on like a duckling on its mother. It might end up being a scientist, another Kamukura, a Steering Committee member, one of the lucksters. In the current setup, it could be Nagito, but if she waits long enough to have other options, then who's to say. It could just as easily be Izuru, Imposter, or even Sayaka. (Probably not Izuru, since he is focused on all of his successors, and she wants someone to be focused primarily on her. This is also why she might not choose Nagito.)

Once she decides who she will deliberately imprint on, she gives them her obedience and expects care in return. She'll be very clear about what specific ways she expects to be cared for; she'll directly say, "You need to tell me what to eat," or "You need to decide how my hair should look. I will let it grow until you tell me otherwise," or "You need to soothe me until I fall asleep. Do you want instructions as to how I am to be soothed?"

She will kill or maim, very casually, if it ever becomes necessary.

Nekomaru- Ngl, I feel like Nekomaru might die during the procedure, but assuming that doesn't happen, he aligns with Hiyoko. In-grouping hard. Kamukuras should band together and act in their own interest. He's protective of all Kamukuras, and it's more pragmatic than emotional, but it still causes him to act very loyally toward all the other Kamukuras. (He treats the lucksters as their pets, to whom he is indifferent but with whom he remains careful and protective.)

Unlike Hiyoko, this is purely an in-group thing; it has nothing to do with normal people being worthless. This means he doesn't care about which Kamukuras are more successful than others. Hiyoko would be very dismissive of someone like Taka; she would consider Taka a botched trial. Not as lowly as a normal person, but still a lesser Kamukura. Nekomaru doesn't feel that way. Any Kamukura is in the in-group.

Gundham- They don't know what to make of him. When they take him out of his cell, he's always staring at them and saying vague, ominous things. In his cell, he's often circling the space, trailing his fingers over the walls, or standing still in the middle of the room with his eyes closed. He usually ignores people when they walk in, whether they're bringing his food or sticking a needle in his neck.

At seemingly-random times, he actually reacts when someone walks in, instead of ignoring them. When he takes an interest in someone, he gets very close to them, examines them (like, lifting their arms and turning them around and generally handling them a lot like the scientists handle the Kamukuras), and perhaps sniffs them. This is how he treats Nagito the first time he visits. In subsequent visits, he usually ignores him. But he enjoys his company.

He's proficient in pressure points. And he's vicious when put in a position to defend himself or his interests. He feels some solidarity for other Kamukuras, but he's very solitary by nature. If pressed to express allegiance to anything or anyone, it would be Trial 1 (Izuru).

Chiaki- I just see her lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, reciting prime numbers or capitol cities from the moment she wakes up until she goes to sleep. It's a game. Legit, if you handed her a video game, she'd rather recite the hexadecimal color of each pixel than actually play it normally. Some of the scientists theorize that the video games are too easy for her; others theorize that she's using repetitive behaviors to self-soothe.

She won't kill anyone. She can't be made to do much of anything. She likes Nagito. He's good enrichment, and he feeds her.

Akane- She's silent and fluid. She's just in her cell doing weird contortions or dangling from the ceiling or both at the same time. She doesn't like to be touched; whenever someone tries to approach her, she slips through their fingers and settles in a different part of the room. When she eats, she's often hovering over the plate, doing one of those push-up handstands with just her forefingers.

The scientists (and Nagito, tbh) believe that she is more inclined to engage with her physical talents than her mental ones, because she doesn't talk to them or answer questions and she's always doing strange new things with her body, but really the contortions are just kind of a means of stimming, for her, while she reflects philosophically on everything and everyone. She doesn't find it natural to sit (or stand) still while she's thinking deeply.

She will very seldom speak, but when she does, her words are impactful. The first time she speaks to Nagito, after several visits in which she's said nothing, she will shatter a lot of what he believes to be true. (And he regrets underestimating her.)

She doesn't have any particular esteem for Kamukuras or talent. In her reflections, all of that stuff has stricken her as insignificant. She's as likely to kill a person as she is to kill a fly– which could be good news for flies or bad news for humans, depending on where her meditations have taken her. Probably just good news for flies.

Fuyuhiko- He has no esteem for Kamukuras as an end product. All he sees is an experiment that, in a just world, wouldn't have been done. It's not about the perversion of nature or any of the things Taka is disgusted by; Fuyuhiko is more focused on the established ethical rules that humanity claims to value. The regulations for human experimentation that were violated, the laws that were broken, etc. Mankind has been debating what should and should not be done for centuries, and when it comes down to it, no consensus they reach matters. The powerful will violate anything sacred. It's disgusting.

In the labs, he's very despondent and resigned. He's willing to talk to Nagito. He's resigned to the fact that Nagito will probably be killed at some point soon. He's not making a move of his own until something external changes– such as the other Kamukuras taking over the lab.

Once that happens, honestly, he might go a similar direction to Mahiru: a vigilante with a drive to fix what he thinks is wrong with the world. (Which could lead to a situation where Peko has to protect the Steering Committee from him.)

Kazuichi- His surface-level goal is to be a success in the scientist's eyes, and the Steering Committee's. To be excellent and useful. Deep down, he really wants to impress the original. Trial 1. Izuru Kamukura. He's always fixating on how his performance in the various tests compares to the original. He often thinks about whether Trial 1 notices when he improves. Does Trial 1 think about them? About him?

He has an initial interest in Nagito that he quickly discards when he learns that Trial 1 has not been given a luckster to socialize with. If Trial 1 doesn't need this, then neither does he. He will be their predecessor's equal.

Sonia- Similar to Peko, she is loyal to the Steering Committee while also aware that she's smarter than them. Unlike Peko, she does not adopt their goals as her own. She considers their goals to be as much a product of their flawed minds as their orders, so she acts how she thinks will actually benefit them most, not in accordance with what they think will benefit them.

So basically, if the Steering Committee were to say, "Do this thing so we can have this outcome," Peko would do a different, smarter thing to get the outcome, while Sonia would get them a different outcome that turns out to be better. Which could be a good thing for the world as a whole. Imagine someone telling Sonia to help them take over the world and she signs them up for therapy and fixes a gas leak in their house.

This isn't to say Sonia has an intrinsic sense of morality or emotion. What she thinks is best can be based on all kinds of things.

She is politely disinterested in Nagito.

[fearoftheminotaur]

Some other things I think are worth considering in this examination of the serial killer panic viewpoint

It's not immediately intuitive to me, at least, that if you did want to take away someone's access to hurting people, that a prison would be the only way. Stuff like probation and house arrest and rehab centers exist, as does the general ability of a society to detain people for sentencing. However, I can see how ultimately, any long term denial of access to the type of people serial killers target, can be argued to be a form of prison - it's just not intuitive to everyone.

Violent crimes are committed in prisons regularly, by both prisoners and employees. The prison constrains the serial killer's ability to access new victims but it notably does not prevent it outright.

We already live in a society where people are afraid that any stranger could assault them. I don't think this is a statistically rational fear (most crimes being between acquaintances and all), and it is also more statistically rational than being afraid that you are gonna be Dahmer's next victim. And this is a very petty point but, at least if you're afraid of Dahmer getting you, you know what Dahmer looks like, which makes him easier to avoid compared to 100 small time criminals who the prison system could neither rehabilitate nor indefinitely detain.

Ultimately prison abolitionists do not get to set the terms of what the justice system will look like in the foreseeable future. Realistically, an abolition of prisons will look like them seeing less use, fewer facilities remaining open, and a lively debate over what if any crimes merit that method (just as many societies today still use the death penalty - with debatable effectiveness). That means arguments like this thread do matter, but also that an individual person's ability to make you feel safe with their vision of abolition is kinda worthless imo. OP ain't running for attorney general afaik, and even if she were, some people like myself wouldn't care too much about the risks of scorched earth prison closure because it just would not happen any time soon. I understand why others have a different standard of proof though.

Our society already feels safe allowing SA and murder because we have prisons and for-profit healthcare. I know that sounds like a cheap shot, but I want to make it very clear that Goop's characterization of the abolitionist viewpoint is what abolitionists and leftists already hear when people defend the status quo.

Pretty sure @needabetternamelater has reblogged like 5 of my posts and then blocked me. So that's funny. But, just in case it's just a glitch that won't let me reblog those replies.

What do we do with rapists in a prisonless society? Well, 1. Fewer than 1% of rapists go to prison, so holding up prison as the standard that any other solution has to beat isn't hard. What do with do with rapists in a society with prisons? For 99+%? Not prison.

2. Prisons do not reduce the amount of rapes that happen. So again, prison fails pretty handedly at being both a prevention and a punishment. (It's a bit like arguing 'without the death penalty, what will we do with shop lifters?")

3. I've explain many times, on posts you've responded to, the variety of responses a justice system can have to any crime, including sexual assault. Mandatory counseling, restraining orders, restorative/reparation hearings, housing and employment restrictions, fines, caseworker check ins, mental health consults, and vocational training are all possible responses, and which would would have the best chance of preventing recidivism would depend on the specifics of that person and the risk factors in them reoffending.

In the past, we locked people in pillories and cut off their hands for crimes. Phasing out a cruel and ineffective punishment doesn't mean there's free reign for crime.

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

In an age that witnessed considerable support for social improvement, public schools often took center stage. By the 1830s, a chorus of reform-minded people began to sing the praises of free, tax-supported schools: Thaddeus Stevens, later a prominent Republican activist in Pennsylvania; Catharine Beecher, advocate of more educational opportunities for women; Caleb Mills, an evangelical minister who later became Indiana's leading common school advocate; and even notable Southerners, who faced the greatest opposition and whose efforts bore the least fruit. Enthusiasm for social improvement through education flourished. Since the turn of the century, countless pamphlets, speeches, reports, petitions, testimonials, newspaper editorials, books, and articles had promoted the importance of education in a republic. A few dozen educational periodicals also popularized the cause of learning by promoting a class-inclusive school system, especially for white children.

In Philadelphia, New York, and other cities, the editors of workingmen's newspaper - the voice of the skilled artisan minority - despaired over the fate of youth as apprenticeships declined and unskilled factory labor increased; they endorsed instituting a common system and eliminating the stigma attached to free schools. "I think that no such thing as charities should be instituted for the instruction of youth," wrote one articulate worker in the Mechanics' Free Press in Philadelphia in 1828. He favored free schools dependent not on "private charities" but "founded and supported by the government itself." One Ohioan added, "Unless the Common Schools can be made to educate the whole people, the poor as well as the rich, they are not worthy of the support of the patriot or the philanthropist." "Give to education... a clear field and fair play," said a recent immigrant in A Treatise on American Popular Education in 1839, "and your poor houses, lazarettos, and hospitals will stand empty, your prisons and penitentiaries will lack inmates, and the whole country will be filled with wise, industrious, and happy inhabitants. Immorality, vice and crime, disease, misery and poverty, will vanish from our regions, and morality, virtue and fidelity, with health, prosperity, and abundance, will make their permanent home among us.”

Born in an age when millennial ideals, such as universal peace and prosperity following Christ's imminent return to earth, influenced wide sectors of the population, the common schools became a useful barometer of the extensive social changes that transformed the nation before the Civil War. Cities, factories, and foreign immigration generated moral panic and social fears among many northern reformers, whose search for solutions to public ills centered on a more expansive public school system. Reflecting the contradictory passions of the reformers, schools not only favored greater access to literacy and academic study but simultaneously downplayed intellectual achievement by elevating the moral aims of instruction. America's ambivalent attitude toward the life of the mind and scholarship thus found expression in the nation's emerging school system, where character development and moral uplift took precedence even as lifeless instruction in academic subjects predominated. Setting a pattern that long endured, reform-minded citizens increasingly assumed that individual welfare and social progress depended on an extensive network of public schools.

william j. reese, america's public schools from the common school to "no child left behind"

[merverelli]

"you just feel yourself let go."

still thinking about this episode. man. 💪💥

[starlightomatic]

I commented this on another reblog chain but for some reason it's not showing up in the notes, so I thought I'd put it here too, since it segues off of that comic:

I think the issue here is that if you're hated enough, any word for you becomes a slur. This whole thing... frustrates me, because the reason people think of Jew as insulting is because Jew has been used as an insult.

But like... it was an insult not because its definition was insulting, but because the content of the insult was that the recipient was Jewish. If you think Jews are dirty, you don't even need to say dirty Jew. "Jew" gets your meaning across quite well. And thus a name that derives from one of our founding ancestors, Yehuda ("Judah") gets warped into something insulting.

Worth noting that a similar process has occurred to words for Black people and disabled people: a neutral word turns insulting and needs to be replaced. In those cases it has happened multiple times.

Also, as additional context, in some European languages, words for Jew (including words derived from Yid, the Yiddish word for Jew) are considered derogatory and so the Jewish communities in many places use or have used other terms for themselves, like Israelite or Hebrew. The specific examples I know of are Ukraine and Hungary.

I think the odd thing for some of us in the US is growing up calling ourselves Jews and never thinking twice about it, and then it kind of surfacing that to non-Jews the word Jew has all these kind of negative connotations... and then the response of some Jews on tumblr was, as the previous commenter mentioned, to say that now non-Jews should not use the word.

But my response is like, wait a minute. Can we go back a second? Like, for me there's a real discomfort that arises from the idea that a word I've always called myself without thinking twice about is seen as derogatory or rude by people outside my community!

Like, I don't know, let's say I was cheerfully talking to straight people about being bi and they kind of gave me an "ew" face or a "that's not an appropriate word" face and continued the conversation by referring to me as a "person of multi-attracted experience." It would... come across as though they were saying that there's something fundamentally icky about bisexuality and that it needs a euphemism.

And so "Jewish people" has always come across as a euphemism to me. And since you only need euphemisms for something icky, it feels as though people are saying that being a Jew is icky (or awkward, embarrassing, shameful) and so they need some kid gloves to talk around it.

As in: "You're not a gross, sneaky, sniveling Jew! You're a nice, clean, upstanding Jewish person!"

Which only serves to make me ask "wait, you think Jews are gross, sneaky, and sniveling?"

It's not intended that way at all ofc and I don't think that's what's actually happening in most cases but that's how it can come off when you try to euphemize a marginalized aspect of someone's identity! It makes them wonder what you thought needed smoothing over.

In actually what I think is happening is that people are surfacing the fact that historically those connotations (gross, sneaky, sniveling, miserly, untrustworthy, subhuman) are attached to the word Jew when non-Jews use it.

I guess though, I had thought -- and do still think, mostly, kind of -- that we were coming out of that period of history and into a place where people don't associate those things with Jews and were ready to keep using the word Jew without those connotations.

Because I see where folks are coming out of respect, not wanting to use a word with insulting connotations, but the problem is that by refusing to use the word you're keeping the connotations stuck to it. If everyone were to use the word Jew in neutral and positive senses, it would lose those antisemitic connotations.

But instead they're staying attached, which means that then when I self-describe as a Jew, it's as though I'm bringing those connotations into the conversation. Like, hi everyone! I am a dirty Jew! And because of this I have started self-describing as a "Jewish person" in certain contexts even though I hate it, because I don't want people to be put off by my calling myself a Jew. Especially in contexts where I am trying to come off as non-confrontational, as though I'm trying to "soften" whatever I'm bringing to the table, though maybe that's its own whole thing.

And then one thing that's extremely uncomfortable is when I see antisemitic stuff where the person has carefully made sure to use "Jewish person" or "Jewish people" instead of Jew. That's just kind of skin-crawly in a way I'm not sure how to articulate, but I think it demonstrates that if someone is antisemitic they'll be antisemitic no matter what semantic shifts get pushed.

The impression that I'd had before this post was that this was an example of a pretty common phenomenon on this site is that a small group of users from a marginalized group come up with some sort of lexical discourse, present it as the universal opinion of that group, and then well-meaning allies adopt it and it spreads far beyond tumblr, and that it honestly was only a niche bit of tumblr discourse in the first place.

What I'm learning from the notes on this post though is the word "Jew" has been policed by non-Jews for many years, likely from before tumblr existed. Which really only serves to highlight the discomfort I mentioned earlier. It also reminds me of when allistic people say things like "she's on the spectrum" instead of "she's autistic." They feel that "autistic" is offensive because they see autism negatively. And our response to that isn't to agree and to ask allistics not to use the word autistic, but rather to continue educating people to accept and respect autistic people.

On that note, I'm thinking about the campaign in recent years to remind people that disabled is not a dirty word, and that people don't need to and shouldn't be trying to euphemize it.

In conclusion, sorry for how rambly this was, but hopefully this is illuminating as to why the shift to "Jewish people" is actually pretty uncomfortable for a lot of us.

Where are all these goyim getting the idea that it’s not okay for them to use the word Jew as a noun?

(Obviously depending on the context it can be intended as an insult/function as a slur, but it’s also… what we’re called in English???)

[samipekoe]

woke up w a vision today