#but i think i can look at stuff from the beginning of the year and confidently say i’ve gotten better
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Musing on Movie!Nessa's Future in Part 2
A lot of people simultaneously expressing confusion alongside their celebration of Nessarose finally being played by a wheelchair user, because her being able to walk in act 2 is obviously a huge plot point--the spell cast on the shoes is what turns them into the ruby slippers which establishes the continuity and leads to a bunch of other plot threads, etc etc.
This is obviously the reason a lot of people give for her being played by an able-bodied actress in the past, it's obviously a bullshit reason because a huge majority of wheelchair users are ambulatory and can walk and stand for varying periods of time just fine. So like. They could have still had an ambulatory wheelchair user playing her, but I digress: the point is she is played by Marissa Bode in the movie. A wheelchair user, hurray!
These are just the opinions of someone who is not a wheelchair user so take them with a grain of salt (and please speak up if you have your own stuff to say as a member of the community!) but from what I can see as someone who's been insane about Wicked for about 15 years now, the movie did a lot of good for Nessa's character. Previously, the ableism toward her was baked into the metanarrative itself, but it's now been moved to a more realistic place--the characters within the story.
Previously Nessa was treated with little agency or autonomy not only by the characters but by the people writing the story. Most notably of all, her chair is constantly being grabbed and wheeled around by other characters. The movie corrects this--she is very rarely wheeled around except by her father (and he is called out for his coddling/infantilizing of her by Elphaba within 2 minutes of their introduction) and the one time a stranger tries to do this in what reads even to me as a genuinely traumatizing and far too familiar scene for any wheelchair user to have to sit through, Elphaba immediately fucking goes apeshit and starts throwing fucking furniture. Nessa herself also tries to advocate for herself and tell the professor in question to stop kidnapping/assaulting her and is, again, realistically not listened to.
This last bit obviously happens in the stage musical too but Nessa's own agency is much less pronounced. The movie adds little things here and there to give her more of that agency--Elphaba's protectiveness is much less "I have to help and watch over my poor disabled sister" and much more "I have to make sure no one underestimates or takes advantage of her." Even the plot detail that Elphaba was not there to be her caretaker but just to drop her off and make sure she got settled in her dorm adds leaps and bounds to Nessa's autonomy. Her and Boq's shared look in the opening ceremonies where they both bond beforehand at their inability to see over the crowds' standing ovation. And of course, the dance scene, where he no longer wheels her out but instead beckons her to follow him!
These little details add up in ways that are, at least in my opinion, very meaningful. They also extend to the production itself--where the sets were made accessible for Marissa and she was even allowed to do her own stunts, in her wheelchair! That part in the beginning where Elphaba levitates her was her in a harness in her fucking chair and all. Dope as FUCK.
So I am mentioning all of this because I think the people working on this movie have shown that they are unafraid to make changes to Nessa to be more respectful to her agency. The ableism she faces, which is still plentiful, is framed as such instead of just casually brushed off & baked into the narrative. By making these small changes, Nessa is not just an unfortunate stereotype of a disabled woman, but a real and fleshed-out person who is dealing with the consequences of those exact stereotypes in the society she lives in. I really liked that! I don't know how others feel about it, but I thought it was very well-shifted.
All that said, 'curing' your disabled character is obviously, like, the biggest no-no of writing a disabled character. And that plot beat is a huge one in every version of Wicked... so far. But here's the thing. We have a shot of Dorothy wearing the slippers. And they... are silver.
Why. Are they silver.
And they are silver in all of Dorothy's small little cameos. Every single one. Even though this shot, which was used primarily for promotional material to draw people in like "Hey! Wizord of Oz! This is What The Refrance!" did not make the choice to even suggest that they should ever be red. One of the most important pieces of iconography, consciously and notably absent.
I genuinely don't think Nessa's going to have her disability taken away in part 2. With how much love to this part of her has been done to the retooling of her character, I do not think it is a stretch to assume that they will find a way to advance the plot without removing her disability. I believe this because that is the right thing to do for Nessa, to ascend her character, however you feel about it--she should stay in her chair. She deserves to continue on the way she is.
I realize this little change effects a lot. But after seeing part one, I am confident they can do it and do it well and replace what the change takes away with something just as good. I have so much faith in the direction of these movies. I really, truly believe it will happen and it will be good and satisfying and perfect.
It might still happen, sure--Marissa might get a stunt double, or CGI, or some other brand of movie magic. The shoes may still get enchanted and stay silver to pay homage to the original Oz books. But I can't help but consider that idea and keep asking myself... why. That makes so much less sense. Why not give movie audiences the red slippers, draw them in with the imagery, give them one more lion cub in the bike basket or Boq talking about how much he cries or poppies putting the whole class to sleep. Why not give us the ruby slippers when you... could.
I think because this is going to be a big, long awaited improvement. And I think it is hiding there in plain sight.
#wicked#wicked movie#wicked 2024#nessa thropp#nessarose thropp#wendy rambles#wordy wendy#and your little dog too#wendy meta
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Altmeri Customs Headcanons: Praxis and Engagement/Wedding Ceremonies!
So I was inspired to share my Altmeri headcanons after seeing @thescrolls-haveforetold's post about Altmer engagements! I’m gonna combine my thoughts on the important stuff :3 I'm gonna try to write this in a way that's easy for those unfamiliar with ESO's additional lore. I'm just having fun here building upon lore/worldbuilding. >:) I'm sorry. I think I wrote another long post 😅 At least it's not political this time? lol
Let’s start with: Praxis
Basically Altmeri coming of age. It’s best talked about in The Price of Praxis book. As mentioned in the book, the age of adulthood is 18 and the ceremony is done in a chapel. (I’m getting traumatic flashbacks to Catholic Confirmation. Ick) It's here I would think their "Path to Alaxon" (perfection) truly begins. They're given a calian (aetherquartz sphere) for their Praxis ceremony, and later given an alaxon sphere when they attain a degree of perfection. Both can be broken if they fail society/fall from their path. Both can be restored, but that's harder depending how far the Altmer has "fallen". Anyways!
I like to think there are stages an Altmer must follow prior to their Praxis ceremony!
Pre-ceremony Preparations
The initiate spends months or even years preparing for the Praxis, studying Altmeri history, magical theory, philosophy, and genealogy. This phase reflects their intellectual mastery and connection to their ancestors.
The initiate undergoes ritual purification, bathing in enchanted waters infused with moonstone dust or blessed by a priestess of Auri-El. This act cleanses them of "impurities" and aligns them with the divine.
An elder or accomplished mage from their family or community guides them, ensuring they are prepared both physically and spiritually. A sponsor would help aspiring artisans.
2. Ritual of Reflection
They visit a Hall of Ancestry, where the initiate stands before effigies or spirit-glamours of their ancestors.
The initiate recites their full lineage in the ancient Aldmeri/Altmeri language, emphasizing their connection to their noble bloodline. Any mistake in this recital could signify dishonor.
The spirits may present a vision or riddle to test the initiate’s wisdom and worthiness, offering cryptic advice or challenges they must overcome.
3. A Test of Mastery
This would be a public display of what they plan to do for their Path to Alaxon. The skill could be magical, martial, artistic, or intellectual. (Ex: Lilliandra does a grand displays of music and illusions for years before her ceremony.) This display must reflect their personal aptitude and the ideals of their noble house. Failure is considered shameful and may result in further training.
4. Receiving Their Calian
All we know is they are made of aetherquartz (and sun-blown glass from the cited book). So in terms of appearance? Go crazy. Maybe (likely) the higher in status, the more brilliant the calian looks.
It's done in a chapel, with family in pews. An Ascendant Curate gives the calian after reciting the Athel Vialen (a prayer? a hymn?). Easy to take religious inspirations to fill in the blanks.
5. Post-Ceremony
Depending on the status would depend on how big this celebration would be. Poor family? It would be a smaller, more intimate celebration. The higher the status, the larger the celebration. Families could give offerings to the Divines here or before. Speeches, feasts. The Altmer being celebrated could hunt for more sponsors in the party.
Okay. That's done. On to:
Engagement/Wedding Customs
I'm taking inspiration from customs worldwide. But my biggest would be Chinese pre-wedding customs.
But first - arranged marriages definitely would be/are big considering the Altmer are famous for their interest in lineage and heritage over attraction. It's even more important to highborn Altmer. Inter-class and interracial marriages would be looked down upon, if not outright reviled . We know in the 2nd Era breaking an arranged betrothal leaves both parties as outcasts to their own families and communities. I imagine divorces are also likely HIGHLY shameful. (Hopefully there's scenarios where it would be understandable)
Matchmaking is said to take years or decades before one becomes betrothed. I wouldn't be surprised if this matchmaking started around the time they became adults, if not sooner for the highest nobles. Because Altmer live longer than humans and beastfolk (and I think Bosmer??), it's not a surprise they take time with matchmaking and engagements.
My headcanons: So matchmaking taking perhaps 5-10 years on average. They normally take into account: the couple's star charts, pedigree documents, family, physicality, and other attributes. When the families agree, they start the "traditional rites".
Formal proposal- this is the announcement of the engagement. This would be a ceremony in itself, within a temple/chapel for both families. A priest would petition to the Aedra. I could see the Altmer be extra and make this almost like a mini wedding ceremony.
Selection of the Date - this would be done under the guidance of priests. They would pray to the Aedra to divine the most auspicious date.
Visit Ancestral Shrines - they would pray to both families' ancestral spirits for their blessings
Betrothal Gifts - Throughout the engagement, both parties exchange gifts. This is also a way to prove both parties are compatible. Gifts can vary based off ancestral regions; local foods, jewelry and items made within the region, etc.
Wedding Ceremony - the final rite
Engagements I could see lasting anywhere from 5-15 years. Maybe both parties are busy with their Path to Alaxon and agree to have a later wedding date so they can focus on the Path (or for other reasons).
I also want some symbolism. "By the five-and-three" is a common Altmer saying which invokes the 8 Divines. I chose 5 rites for the engagement.
Unfortunately my wedding headcanons aren't as well thought out. But I'll try my best. Maybe you guys can help with your headcanons? Okay, here we go:
To fit with the "five-and-three" theme, the wedding celebrations would last three days! I can give elements that I think might fit, but none of these are in any specific order like all above. Here are some possible elements:
Sacred rituals performed by priests.
Purification rites using water or incense.
A focus on family and ancestors, considering the Altmer’s respect for lineage.
Typical offerings to the Aedra for blessings
The higher the statue, the more elaborate ceremonies/celebrations naturally. Maybe a solemn atmosphere with an emphasis on traditional attire and ceremonial precision. But maybe the lower class would break from that mold and make it a merrier, more intimate celebration!
Invitations extended based on social rank and importance.
A heavy emphasis on proper etiquette, decorum, and public display of wealth and prestige.
Elaborate jewelry and ceremonial robes for the bride and groom
OH, my fav headcanon: I like to image they elaborating paint their skin in some gold mica product, invoking their relationship of being descendants of the Aedra. Think almost like Henna, which is done in traditional Indian weddings!!
The couple would recite ancient vows in the Aldmeri tongue, emphasizing tradition and continuity with their ancestors.
A high-ranking ancestor or spirit might be invoked to witness the union and provide a blessing.
Sorry if this is a mess of ideas. 😅 I have no plans to actually write a wedding in my fanfic. But this is still fun to think about!
#tes#the elder scrolls#tesblr#altmer#altmeri culture#altmeri customs#tes headcanons#altmer headcanons#headcanons
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GMM2025 Lineup Game / Tier List
Rules: write your thoughts on all the GMMTV series pilots released (or just the ones you plan to watch) and tag people whose thoughts you wanna know about!
@jojotichakorn @wangxianinventedromance and @valentinaonthemoon tagged me in basically different variations of this, so I'm gonna smush them all together. Thanks for tagging me 😊 I love to be given the chance to ramble.
Prefacing this with a reminder that I am the personification of CinemaWins so I find things to like in everything, and that I was born to yap, so this will be long :)
I'm going to do it in the order of the trailers and put the tier list at the bottom. I'm adding a twist to mine and tracking the most important thing to me, Will I cry? (mostly just so I can look back and see if my guess was correct)
Dare you to death: I LOVE a good murder mystery. Yes. Give it to me. Snarky partners solving a crime was THE dynamic i was raised on and I still love it. It's going to be so entertaining trying to pick up clues and stuff while seeing these two bicker and fall in love. Don't think ill cry on this one, but serial killers, brothers, possibility of whump? There's a chance.
Head 2 Head: FUCK YES. Starting with the fact that I adore SeaKeen with all my heart, this one has me so invested!! Their bickering-flirting? ON POINT. When Sea says the line of “I've been saving my lips for you for ages” while flipping him off?? Yeah, that's my shit. But add to that the whole magic plot of seeing that they are in love and together years in the future, but then he dies!!! In his arms!!!! Yes. Yes. Just yes. “I will do anything to prevent that from happening…except not loving you”?? Yep. They made this show for me specifically, the rest of you can stay only if you are nice. The side couple also has me 👀. Basically, I loved every single second of it, and I'm ready for it. Oh, I will absolutely cry. No doubts about this one. These boys had me weeping with their soft rom-com, adding looming visions of death to it? yes, I'm ready to cry.
Burnout Syndrome: I'm intrigued by this one! Looks very messy and full of complex feelings all around, with some very very interesting characters. I don't actually have more to say about it except !!!, and it's on the watch list for sure! Hmm from what I get, I'm thinking is going to be more in the stressful, thoughtful side than in the emotional one for me, so maybe teary eyes but not full-blown crying.
I Love “A Lot Of” You: I've only seen one thing in which this topic didn't feel wildly offensive, so. Hmm. Even without that whole can of worms, I'm not fully interested in it? It seems cute and fun I guess, and the title is very sweet but eeeh. Not in the watch list for now, unless it gets some strong endorsements once it starts airing.
Whale Store xoxo: Oh this looks lovely! So so so warm and sweet. Having a character in just full-blown crisis and feeling lost, is always the best way to get into my heart. Add to that a sweet girl, full of joy, trying to help?! And the You've got mail vibes with the whole small business being threatened by the family of the love interest, plus feeling a duty to the store because of a parent without knowing if its what you truly want? Say less babe, I'm there, I'm seated. The side couple story also has me really intrigued. Oh yeah, tears will be very much present. Not full on wailing, but rom coms do make me cry, I see some tears due to both the angst and the character finding herself.
Only Friends-Dream On: Making the entire first half of the trailer one shot that manages to explain all the dynamics is enough for me to put it in the watch list no questions asked. I haven't watched Only Friends and from the bits I know and have seen I know I wouldn't enjoy it purely for weird personal reasons. This however? Oh yeah bestie sign me up, ill have popcorn ready, let the messiness begin. Also, the cast is insane and as someone who was absolutely taken by Ohm and Leng week after week, I'm so excited. Hmm, I'm going for yes. At least one of these assholes is going to be broken in a way that speaks to me and I will cry about it, I see it in my future. (Side note, please tell me I'm not the only one that laughed at the characters being called Jack and Dean)
That Summer: I CHEERED. Troublemaker sent to the beach to find some discipline finds a kind, amnesiac prince is something that i didn't know I needed so hard but fuck i do. It's going to be so fucking charming, and it has this very quiet emotional vibe to it that I'm going to eat up weekly, yes sir. I have no thoughts except loud cheering, I'm just excited for it. I was going to say I hope it comes in summer like that means anything to me. pft. Umm, yeah probs some tears, nothing too big, but I can see some emotional moments hitting hard specially considering the two people acting here. *side eyes that We Are scene that I still can't fucking rewatch because it did enough damage once*
My Romance Scammer: Marriage scam!!!!! I could cry of joy. This is the kind of shit I love sorry. It's so messy and at its core very silly, and I'm just going to have such a good time watching. It's going to be fun! I also feel like some of the backstories of these characters are going to be interesting and emotional, I'm excited for that. I was going to say I won't cry, but I always cry with fictional weddings and I'm guessing some sort of “real” wedding is going to happen at the end that will break me, so maybe.
Melody of Secrets: I'm fucking thrilled. As a horror fan, I don't know what I did to get this gift but ill fucking take it, thank you. This was SO WEIRD!!! Isn't that great!! What the fuck was happening? Is it ghosts, is it magic, is it a curse, is it trauma? I don't know, and the character doesn't know either, and ooof the journey we will go in while trying to figure it out! My only request for this show is that I want to say “What the fuck??” every episode. That's all. Whether I cry or not depends on where they are going with it so, no clue. Possibly.
Love you teacher: I had such a strong negative reaction to this, that it kind of went back around, and now it's in my watch list? It was a journey. So, fun fact about me, one of the fanfiction tropes that I adore the most and I will eat up every single time it pops up even though it's not that common is amnesia in an established couple (I'm sure no one was kind of scared I was going to say something else). I just love the idea of a couple having to kind of fall in love again, with the angst of one of them not knowing anything while the other has all the memories and feelings. It's specially interesting if the person with amnesia has a very different life in the present to what they expected/think they should have, or in a enemies to lovers dynamic? it fucks. So I was really really excited. And then he was 7 years old, and I got so shocked I stopped processing the trailer. But now I'm intrigued. I want to see if this show is going to surprise me, I'm going to be there seated for the first couple of episodes at least because there is something there that just, its intriguing. I think there is a chance this one will be special. I mean if I hate it I can just stop watching right? No big deal. The other thing is that Dome gave me a show so fucking special to me that I have to give the dude a chance. He already surprised me. I trust him enough to know that this will be fun at the very least. And also, if I do stick with it, tears 1000% guaranteed. The emotional beats of this will hit, absolutely, and motherfucker over there knows how to hit you with emotions with the simplest stuff.
MU-TE-LUV: Yeah so I'm probs only watching the SeaKeen and OhmLeng parts. Those are actually so compelling to me and I love watching them act, so I will be having fun with those stories. The rest fully depends on my mood and what other people are saying when it airs. Also, the Dew one that is just Amarres: la serie, kind of seems interesting. I kind of doubt this one will pull my heartstrings much but hey I'm willing to be surprised!
Cat for Cash: I have my blanket and my warm drink ready, I will be seating there just cooing at everything and feeling all the emotions. This is going to be a chill watch, it's going to be fun, and I love it for it. The familial shit is going to break me and sell me for parts, so that's going to be fun. And yes, absolutely going to cry, no-brainer.
Girl Rules: We all cheered. So what is going to happen is that I'm going to liveblog this, absolutely, and all the liveblogs are just going to be me being in love with Namtan, and I need everyone to be cool with that. In all seriousness, leaving behind my gigantic crush on her, this is going to be so gooood. Messy!!!! Hot!! FUN!!!!! The dynamics between all the characters are already delicious, and i can't wait for this one, it's going to be great. Grabbing pop corn and something to fan myself with. The NamtanFilm relationship has some real potential to pull some tears from me.
Boys in love: I love fluffy shit, sue me. We are going to sit here, and giggle and kick our feet and have a good ass time while doing it. The Chokun and Aston relationship drew me in so hard, I'm going to live there, but everything was just so sweet and delightful!! Its a fun time. Honestly, yeah, I can see a couple of tears. Not sad tears but more like, overwhelmed with softness kind of tears.
My Magic Prophecy: Once again, angsty visions of the future are always compelling to me, so I'm here for this. It's kind of in the same level as Burnout where I'm not shaking chihuahua levels of excitement but I'm interested! The relationship seems fun and touching, the science vs. magic thing could be interesting. If I get invested enough, yeah crying for sure.
A Dog and A Plane: I'm sure no one who has spent more than a minute in my blog knows this, but i fucking love these two so much. Shocker, I know. But seriously, they have something that makes me 20000% invested whenever they are together on screen and i didnt want to hope for a new show but i was secretly wishing for it and the universe decided to throw me a bone the size of Jupiter. And to add to it, they are bickering, they are horny, New is a fancy flight attendant and Tay Tawan is a paramedic with tattoos that wears a lot of tank tops. They both think the other one is better than them in some way. The plot is just the kind of rom com i eat up. And I know, I KNOW, I'm going to cry. I cry every time these two are involved. They will have one vulnerable moment and i will be in the corner cheeering with tears in my eyes. They will have the conflcit and the same thing will happen. They will have the happy ending and i will be weeping. I'm so fucking happy. Just one thing. I need them to fuck in that plane. I dont care where, I dont care how, but it has to happen. I have that small wish. Oh and MarcPoon!!!! Their bits seem so so good too.
Me and Thee: I made the joke that I read this Phumpeem au before, because actually yeah kind of, but also because these are the exact same vibes that drew me to Phum. The characters are super different and so cool, but oh lonely rich boy!!!!!!! I'm gonna have a new one for my list. And this one is so weird! and a dork! and loves soap operas so he is speaking my language. I love him already. The plot is also just for me. Teach me how to hit on someone?? And he uses it all on him!! yes yesssss. I cant wait to see more of them. I cant wait to see them each fall in love in such different ways and the conflict has the opportunity to be so so so my thing. In terms of crying, he is a sad lonely boy, i dont have to say more. I'm ready to imprint on him and feel very emotional.
WU: This was less of a plot and more of a "here, we heard you, they'll keep working together, dont kill us". I haven watched their show yet because of a silly reson, but i had been planning on binging it before the last episode next week, so im excited!! The brief glimpse we got compels me, i love me some red string of fate.
Memoir of Rati: I said I could watch them read the dictionary (and i fucking meant it) and instead they give me an intense period show??? I could cry. Look, one could say Great Sapol single handedly got me back into live bloging, i have a debt with the guy, add to that the fact that him and Inn became two of my favorite actors ever in just a couple of episodes? Yeah I'm here for this. They have an insane chemistry that is such a joy to watch, and i dont mind period shows, they arent my favorite but I find them charming if done right and they often teach me new things. These two are about to eat the shit out of these roles and i will be clapping while suffering. Also the AouBoom story is so interesting too!!! No notes. I'm going to cry like a baby multiple times. I still cry with their fake break up. This is going to kill me. Can't wait.
Ticket To Heaven: First let me list some fun facts about me. I was raised catholic in a very catholic family in one of the most catholic countries in the world. I still live in a house where my room is the only one that doesnt have some form of religious imagery. Bare a pop opera and Jesus christ superstar are two of my favorite musicals of all time. I ran away from religion before my confirmation but after my first communion, and every time i think about it i discover some new complicated feeling about it and a fun trauma it left behind. I am right now wearing a Look Khunnoo shirt.
They made this show for me and its going to break me. I'm already making playlists for it. I keep listening to Heaven while staring at the wall. This is just, gods, this is everything to me. The vibes of it are just so so so delicious. The aesthetic? The quotes? I am so going to relate more with Gemini's character, and thats going to be a fun painful little trip. And of course. These boys. I adore them. I'm ready to be killed by them acting the shit out of every single frame. I am going to cry in ways that will be dangerous to my health. I can't wait. There is no way that the ending isn't going to fuck me up, whether is super tragic, a time skip, a hopeful ending. Its going to be a Thing. Fucking Rosa de Guadalupe got me with its gay episode. and its. La rosa de guadalupe. This? Will murder me. I will listen to the ost and cry instantly like i do with Bare.
Basically im excited :)
And the tier list!!
I kind of did it in the scale of how much is it going to make me feel like a dog waiting for its owner, sadly pawing at the door, wanting to be let in.
I think everyone I would tag on this has already done it or has already been tagged so if you see this and you have thoughts that you want to share, you are tagged. This is legally binding. I want to hear your thoughts
If you read all that you can reclaim a cookie before leaving
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Welp. I did say in my post with Serenity’s ref that i would show the villain who is part of my fanmade Rc9gn story ‘Hidden Danger’ later or next time since she also has a ref and all so…now I think its about time I do that rn before I continue doodling or something, idk.
Here ya go, meet the ‘cursed samurai’, Honoka! (Unfortunately I haven’t thought of a last name for her yet.)
The villain for my ‘Hidden Danger’ story!
As you can see, she wasn’t always evil. In fact, the REAL Honoka was a good person! She just ended up in an unfortunate state thanks to the ‘curse’ that took over her the moment she touched a not so normal stone.
Here is also the ‘curse’’s ref! (Still no actual better name for it for now, also planning on coming up with an actual name for the stone. Like how the power balls are actually really named ‘Chaos Pearls’!)
Now allow me to try explaining her story and telling some stuff about her so you can understand her stuff more and her purpose kinda. Along with the curse here!
Backstory: Honoka is, or was, a woman who spent most of her life training to become a samurai back in the 1200’s. She wanted to become a Samurai because she wanted to be worth something more, to achieve things just like her own family has. During her trainings and such, she went out travelling quite alot while looking for some challenges.
-one day during one of her travels while wearing a bit of samurai armour she obtained (the ones you see on the cursed form), she found a stone. But it wasn’t no ordinary stone, it seemed to have some strange mark kind of resembling a heart. Curious of this, Honoka went to go pick it up to take a closer look, finding its design to be strange yet kinda beautiful..
she stared at it for so long that she didn’t seem to realise that her fingers were suddenly turning darker, she only did once she saw the heart mark on it suddenly glow. Honoka was both shocked and confused by this and she was gonna drop the stone but for some strange reason, she wasn’t able to, it was like the stone was stopping her hand from doing so. As she was now slowly starting to panic, she heard a voice, speaking in an eerie and dark tone that screamed: *FINALLY!*.. the moment she heard that, red strings suddenly came out from the mark on the stone and started wrapping themselves around her arm, all the way to her chest which they immediately went into where they dragged the stone over to and placed it on against her chest plate, somehow burning against it till the point it connected right to her heart and starting to take over her completely as her body started changing.
She screamed for her life until the painful transformation was finally over, she wasn’t herself no more. She wasn’t even in control of herself anymore. The curse that was in the stone was. With its new host who was almost colorless now, ‘she’ could finally begin what she always planned: chaos.
Many people had seen the now cursed Honoka as she wandered all around some places but they all either were too scared to speak up about it or ended up losing their lives trying to, cursed Honoka didn’t want to be well known out there to the public as she really didn’t feel like having to deal with people trying to stop her plans so in order to make sure that wouldn’t happen, she tried making up a brand new home/hideout to keep herself in for the many years that would pass, keeping her whole existence a secret. Many years later, Her plan to be hidden from the public eye was working quite well….until she got an unexpected visitor, a ninja.
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Info:
-the real/normal Honoka, during her cursed/possessed state, is self aware of everything happening around her but can’t do anything due to her body not being in control anymore. Not only that but she’s in constant pain, especially with how some parts of her armour seems to have become completely stuck against her flesh, like on her forehead…making her look like she has some horns now.
-the curse, while it’s identity and origins are unknown, is mostly interested in having a female host more then a male one. That’s kinda why their appearance seems feminine, she even likes looking ‘beautiful’ even though her current Host, Honoka, doesn’t really look….normal. Also her mouth is literally gone, kinda resembling the curse in a way as it doesn’t have a visible mouth either.
-Honoka’s weapon is just a ordinary katana with some design but after getting cursed, it was given some of the curse’s power in order to be more ‘powerful’, giving it that ‘magical’ appearance. Cursed Honoka also takes it out right from her ‘heart’, from that heart mark on the chest plate, where the cursed stone is now hidden in.
-‘the cursed Samurai’ is actually a nickname she got from Serenity! Before she was never really called anything but now she got that name, she doesn’t really have an opinion on it so she doesn’t stop the little ninja girl from calling her that.
-like many other people, Honoka (both the original and the curse version) thinks there only one Ninja who has existed for 800 years. Because of this, she actually thought that Serenity was the same exact ninja. But then later on in ‘hidden danger’ when Serenity comes back to her place with Randy, she gets to know the truth and realises that the ninja she had to deal with right now these past few days was actually not only female but a completely different person this whole time. Let’s just say, she was extremely puzzled.
-due to Serenity visiting her hideout again and again so many times to try to ‘defeat’ her, Cursed Honoka has placed a lot of traps around to try to keep her away. The more the little ninja comes back, the more traps will appear.
—————————-
And that’s all I am basically gonna say for now because I have literally spent almost too much time writing this all down. Yeah, I haven’t this written down somewhere, I just wrote everything I had worked on and all in my head lol. It’s also dark outside now where I live, damn.
But yeah, now you all pretty much know the villain of my Rc9gn story, ‘Hidden danger’!
#rc9gn#ninja show#randy cunningham 9th grade ninja#rc9gn oc#villain#villain oc#samurai#art#drawing#oc refrence sheet#ref#reference sheet#Jesus all this writing took too damn long#if I kept going I wouldn’t even have the time to post this today#I’d be asleep by now.
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Since the dental Tribble has been on a strict no kibble, no crunchy, no chewing diet. (In a week or so she'll be allowed to use her teeth again a bit more, but no one wants to see a dog get dry socket.) Spouse feels that canned dog food (perpetually on hand to make into pupsickles) is not experienced as filling enough, and we do know that Tribble has done better on grain inclusive foods for the past decade, so... the rice cooker has been simmering with chicken stock rice too bulk out the canned food all week, and Matilda and Benton have both gotten a fair bit of overflow rice as a treat.
Unconnectedly, tonight happens to be my first night alone as the sole human all evening in quite a few months. Matilda has been doing her job of enforcing bed, of course, but I can also rely on other humans to help make routine happen if she's too tired to be on it.
If I was worried that Tilly hadn't worked out her evening routine enforcement functions before now, I shouldn't have been. I don't think I've ever seen a dog so excited to move the evening along towards the part where dinner and the good cookies are.
#Matilda#australian cattle dog#1 year#the things I'm trying to achieve feel so embarrassing sometimes#like the complex and flexible but not too flexible pressure to do things that are good for me at intervals in the evenings#and yes yes yes it's just that old insecurity again#I grew up literally being told that the audhd was just my special burden to overcome in secrecy: the internalized stuff is not surprising#but it also means I'm watching her cues fairly carefully#and she's now completely reliable to alarmed tasks and mostly reliable to totally uncued pesterbot reminders#it's probably time to work on other grounding behaviors and really practice DPT more but I'm just really admiring my dog's progress so far#she had her first dog reactivity 2: building basic social skills class Tuesday and barely reacted to the five other dogs in class at all#by which I mean that she stared and leaned once#answered her leave it#and relaxed enough into counterconditioning to be rolling all over the floor and grinning delighted at me by the end of class#I'm beginning to see the shape of her grown self coming out#and I think I see why people are willing to go back and keep raising puppies from this breed of incredibly awful adolescences#it's a good shape. strong. very prone to getting distorted over a few generations if a breeder isn't keeping an eye on it#I can see what she's going to be like when she's put on some more emotional development#and I'm really beginning to look forward to it
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just found out the lead singer of taiwans biggest death metal band is also an active parliament member since like 2015.... and is still active as a death metal singer. he's a pretty standard taiwanese center left anti communist from what i could gather. which like as a leftist i dont really agree with but i also dont know enough abt taiwanese politics to like make a full judgement. though he seems to be a standard liberal nothing remarkable, radical, or new, not overtly horrible but just bland. but that was something i definitely did Not expect. apparently he's very pro indigenous rights and self determination for indigenous people but being in a centre left mega party like the DPP does not seem like the best way to achieve that. But yea, just thought I'd share
#chthinic collabed heavily with collage last year and ik natsuki (lead singer of collage) is very pro indigenous rights and posts abt it a#lot of instagram and i really appreciate the amount of political stuff on her platform. its all very progressive tho v much limited to tw#so idk. i kind of got the cibe of some groups that see taiwanese indigenous issues as seperate to the larger issue of colonialism and#indigenous rights all over the world to conflicts such as palestine. where some other groups have a lot more of the collective consciousnes#and idk. my view is limited and i didnt see that much but when i go back i def wanna look for more political groups in tw and learn about#the political landscape there for leftism. theres a lot of potential in tw imo#chthonic* natsuko**#edit: overall i think that like.. i get the spirit but i feel like for many taiwanese the identity of tw has been everyone united agaisnt#china which i can understand from the perspective of the indigenous ppl that had their land colonized by the japanese then had to share with#the fleeing kmt settlers. but like i dont think that its the best approach to say only china bad rather than big governments threatening to#take your land by force is bad. because idk my take on china and tw is that regardless of the historical claim or wtv. taiwans indigenous#people have been there long before the han ever stepped foot. and china isnt all good as seen in its treatment of the uyghers and tibetans#but is overall not nearly as bad as the west paints it to be. china is neither fully a communist paradise. and has many capitalist undertone#s influence the government ever since deng xiaoping came to power. personally i never fully agreed with mao. i think mao was a necessary#figure in the beginning and let power go to his head and i believe zhou enlai always shouldve been the founder of the PRC#fuck the kmt.. never liked the kmt and it seems as they are also slowly losing favor in tw also. and like... hmm#i need to do more reading tho. none of this is like 100% set in stone how i feel bc theres a lot i dont know
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I'm tired of dreaming about my dad. I know it's part of processing, but I am just so tired.
#speculation nation#negative/#sometimes theyre nice dreams where i have him back. except i still wake up sad.#sometimes theyre dreams where im trying to prevent what i know is going to come. but without fail i wake up. and he's already dead.#and then there are dreams like the one i just woke up from. where i know he's dead and im feeling the full force of grief once again#bawling and bawling in-dream. with enough force that it wakes me up.#and of course. i wake up sad from these too.#it makes me think about that passage i wrote for ITNL. well over a year ago. before the Year Of Death even began.#where i wrote about vash dreaming of wolfwood. with a similar sort of vibe to this.#i wrote that inspired by the death of my grandma. who i was close with and greatly troubled by her death.#even that had nothing on my dad though. no loss has ever felt this severe before.#it's been 5 months and sometimes i feel okay. but then i feel the ache deep in my chest again#and i know im never going to be fully free from this pain.#i want to go back to the person i was before i lost my dad. to before i lost my uncle.#i want to go back to early may of last year. where life seemed hopeful and i was minimally touched by death.#only 2 deaths from people close to me. 3 deaths if you count my childhood cat.#now im up to 5 deaths of people who were close to me. and 7 if you count my sweet baby boys.#can you believe that? 4 deaths ive grieved in the past year (and a bit). 2 more deaths of ppl i knew but wasnt close to.#and 2 of them were so genuinely life-altering that they changed me as a person. my uncle and then my dad.#i still dont know who i am now. i feel so lost. i look out at the piles of boxes of my dad's stuff and i feel so overwhelmed.#im supposed to go through them. i havent touched them in months. i dont know how to even begin.#and so i try my best to keep up with my cleaning and my schoolwork. it's about all that i can manage
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Recent sky photos
#still... I am not joking.. every time I post things like this it is so hard to narrow them down#I am almost as obsessed with the sky as I am with cats. I have a folder of just cloud pictures with like 650 photos in it right now#I don't post them all because I think it'd seem repetitive probably but just know... lol#that could be an entire blog or something.. hundreds and hundreds...#Like the same way that I cannot explain my obsession with cats or why they've imprinted into my brain so heavily - clouds are the same way#anyway.. .still have the costume photos and stuff like that I just havent edited and posted yet lol.. I will.. hoepfully have actual art#content and stuff thats not just random cat photos sometime soon. I'm just always so preoccupied at the beginning of the year with trying to#adjust to new goals and schedules.. plus.. still wokriong on that wretched little slideshow aaaaaaaaaaaa... it is going to take me...#a million yearbs.....#I just want the worldbuiling lore established so I can branch out and do other things.. aughhhh......#also have to work on game videos and a few other vidoes.. still trying to keep up wiht the youtube a little.. I just havent been productive#like since new years as I've felt sicker with my stomach symptoms and stuff.. ToT ALSO I DID MAKE THAT ENTIRE interactive fiction game which#I still have no posted anywhere lol.. Because it was kind of to accompany something that I was doing on a game site (like imagine making a g#ame to go along with one of your neopets or something) but it works totally fine as a standalone thing as well like. so detached from the#lore of the game site in general that it'd be broadly understandable and is it's own thing of course (because I dont really like writing#other people's characters/in the confine's of other worlds so I made everything original as possible with just a loose tie in to the neopets#typw thing lol) - but I figured since it works on it's own I could post it publicly other places too like 'hey look I made something' since#that is...... kind of somehting that counts as like... being creatively productive lol? like I keep talking about getting nothing done while#also forgetting about the things I actually HAVE done. alas I continuously forget. Seriously I am so bad at social media. I am never exagger#ating for comedic effect or something. I am the type of person that could legit like. write and produce and direct and complete a movie#that will be million dollars shown in theaters or something and I would forget to mention it anywherte until like 5 months later and go 'oh#uh .. oh yeah.. i should post about that online somehwere probably.. oops' . Cursed with the 'forget about everything once it's complete'#trait. Like the way my brain works is just like. once I finish something I'm immediately like 'cool! onto the next thing!!' without processi#ng what i just did. I'm just always looking forward to the next thing. I'll finish sculptures and then throw them away or forget about them.#I take photos and they sit in the drafts for 6 months before I post them. Like to me the enjoyment comes from the PROCESS of making somehtin#g but I don't care as much about the end result so it just doesnt exist in my brain anymore once I'm done? idk.. anyway ghjbhj#SORRY.. trying to be more active. I want to make and sell sculptures again. sell all of my spare clothes too. stuff. things.. aaa.. ***
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omg…… i drew this year.!!>?!>?!>>?@?>>!?>
years of arts past / template
#art summary#art summary 2022#somehow ended up w a horizontal template this year i have no idea how that happened#a lot of lloyds! i think i’ve shied from using jays bc i know i’ll do a jay exclusive edition#and lloyd is the ninja i draw the most after jay i think#i didnt think i did too much drastic improvement this year#at least compared to some other years#but i think i can look at stuff from the beginning of the year and confidently say i’ve gotten better#thats gotta count for something! a good something im sure
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i think me making a dropout/d20/naddpod sideblog is inevitable at this point
#ty xeph my beloved for givin me the final push to get dropout#dam i dont even remember if there was a specific thing u did xD i had been wantin to get it for a while already tbh#anyways i wanna look at naddpod stuff on here so bad but also started from the beginning and ;-; spoilers#lol it’s so weird it’s been YEARS since ive been invested in a fandom/media n cared abt (or even had the opportunity to care abt) spoilers#tbh i usually dont care but even if i did#a lot of the time the content ends up easy to catch up on yknow? limited series & books and stuff n all#or fuckinnnn yt series that u dont need to be caught up from the beginning lol#this however. i do Want to experience the story for realsies n all that#anyways. the sideblog is definitely fuckin happening imma be real#idk when i’ll stop being a coward and *nike voice* just do it#but it’ll happen it is quite literally inevitable. ive gone past the point of no return#i Do need to dwell on a url though. that may take A Bit (read: far too long)#i think i was considering maybe a silly dumb ref to andhera from acofaf#bc that was the first campaign i watched and they are Best Boy. god i fucking love andhera#but also. man idk#ikikik ik u can change urls l8r but this is How I Am *awkward smile*#i Need a silly little ref that Satisfies Me. it doesnt even hafta be a good or recognizable reference (<- historically true)#but it’s gotta be good to Me Personally bc im ~like that~ teehee#anyways screaming crying How will i ever catch up to naddpod#i mean tbf. im at ep 26 for first campaign and it’s been maybe a week? maybe under (or over??) a bit??#so theoretically it hopefully wont take me more than 2 months to finish bahumia campaign even w school starting factored in#hopefully. idk#d20 shit is gonna take 50 goddamn yrs tho xD im in my naddpod arc rn#and all ive seen is acofaf and most of coffin run. and am keepin up w neverafter ofc#and idk even which intrepid hero campaign to go for next. i was thinkin unsleeping city but like damn i dont even know for sure yet#ALSO i HAVE to watch mice&murder first now. idk if it’s any good but Conceptually im just. oh my god i need to get my grubby lil hands on it#but again. before that im In My Naddpod Arc currently and im like. most of the way thru coffin run. god i’ll finish it i promise#it just didnt Grip me as much as the other stuff ive consumed so far. i dont dislike it tho; it’s cool but brain didnt stick as hard#and im like literally one episode from finishing too. like 20 min of the penultimate and the final one thats it#anyway im evidently fuckin rambling i’ll shut up now
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Imagine this
I've been reading some of this good fics about Yandere Batfam x neglected Reader and it got me thinking.
In some of this fic, usually it's Alfred that has given the reader some love and have not neglected the poor thing and I was like,
What if Reader is still neglected by the batfam but Alfred gave them enough love so much that reader just decided to stay just for Alfred and Reader really just treated Alfred as their real Father or Grandfather.
Where Reader just let go of any expectation from getting attention from the others and just strive to make Alfred proud and happy.
How the turns have table
Imagine reader walking pass the others not bothering to greet them as they look for Alfred instead and other stuff.
Dick seeing them practically skipping as they clutch on a medal hanging on their neck.
"Woah hey!-...um whatcha got-". He tries to say but doesn't get any answers because you were busy muttering to yourself 'I got first place! I have to show this to Alfred!' as you giggle while looking down at the medal and sprint away when you see a glimpse of the butler at the distance.
How instead of begging for the others to train you and become a vigilante, you ask Alfred to train you for self-defense (especially the stuff from his spy days).
Jason was the first to arrive at the manor when the team heard about some intruders getting in but halted when he sees you tying up the unconscious thugs on the floor.
"Hey Alfred is this right?". You didn't pay them any mind when some of them pile in as you pay attention to Alfred who was praising you and giving you more good defense tips while you and him pull the unconscious people out.
How you spend healthy family time with Alfred by helping him in cooking and chores that earns you some knowledge of the recipes from his famous dishes.
Tim was trying to grab a coffee when he sees you having a fun time with Alfred as you skillfully prepare for dinner and actually have good laughs with him.
"Okay, then after I fold this I should add some paprika, right?". You ask the butler as he smiles at you while sipping on the tea that you made for him.
"Yes, you're correct once again young miss/master". He said while humming after drinking the tea indicating how good it is.
Tim can practically see you lighting up as you cheered a 'yes!' from Alfred's confirmation.
How you revolved your time and passion to Alfred and actually deciding that only Alfred is the one you should waste your time on.
Damian wonders around the manor when you and him bump into one another.
"And what are YOU doing walking around MY Father's manor?". He asks while glaring at you.
you just sigh and turn while clutching away the art supplies you bought so you can paint in the garden with Alfred.
"Walking away from you that's what I'm doing". you tell him as you turn the other way not even bothering to argue with the boy anymore.
How you do well in your studies and aim to get a good degree/phd and act like a proper man/lady but not because you want to keep up to being a Wayne but to see Alfred's proud face as he watches you stand on the stage as you show him your diploma/degree certificate.
Bruce decided to take a walk from sitting down for too long when he walk pass a framed picture on the hallway near Alfred's room and double takes when he sees you and Alfred standing together with while you were wearing a toga and cap holding not just any graduation certificate but a college one as the both of you look so happy and him seeing Alfred having that loving and well pleased expression something he rarely sees from Alfred after becoming the crusading dark knight.
Looking at the date he couldn't believe that it has been more that a few years since the graduation happened.
All of the family who used to ignore you suddenly took a different turn and started to try and get your attention but they fail to see that you already moved on from them and only cared about the one person that have literally loved you from the beginning.
Bonus:
Imagine Thomas and Martha Wayne was mysteriously revived for a day and met the family but was deeply disappointed to the others and took a special liking to reader because Alfred has said many good things about them and them especially getting many good degrees something that the rest haven't gotten yet or never bothered to get (this is my hot take because my family are hellbent on us cousins to finish school) and you know for a fact that Alfred is really REALLY proud of the kid that he raised preciously
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thoughts on shifting + manifesting with ease. (as someone who's shifted many times, alongside manifesting)
coming back to this side of tumblr after spending years away from it has made me realized how many of you are truly the problem, it might sound kinda harsh but really. so many of you ask the same questions over and over again.. "but HOW do i do it?" "how do i shift" "how do i manifest" JUST DO IT. stop looking for signs, stop looking for methods or "cheat codes". just do it man.
your mind is so powerful and it actually kinda irritates me how many of you doubt it, just because it "seems to easy". you don't understand how you've been manipulated by society to not see your power. how have you been on loa social media, shifting social media, for soooo long — yet still don't see it?? let me tell you..
the moment i got off social media, the moment i took time to erase everything in my head and stop overthinking everything, was the moment everything came to me. i already had it, i just needed to stop telling myself i didn't.
it took me barely any time to get used to convincing myself i had everything i wanted, i shifted to my desired realities, and everything worked out in my favour. AFFIRMING IS ALL YOU NEED. I AM YELLING AT YOU. JUST AFFIRM.
really, please, affirm. the routine is so simple.
1. any bad thought is instantly turned positive.
ex: "i really want her waist"
to
"am i stupid ... i have her waist.. tbh mine even looks a little better.. am i crazy?? like actually? this must be a glitch or something cause my waist is practically identical to hers.. i literally love my waist"
exaggerate, say what you need to say to erase the negativity.
2. it's yours, so act like it..
ex: talk about ur DR normally. it's your reality, not a fantasy land you made up in a dream. ITS REAL. it's a reality. for example, i'd watch videos of my s/o in this reality, and speak about our lives in my dr. "i can't wait to see __ tonight... god i love __, it's so nice hanging out with them everyday.. wow they look so pretty in this video — i'm so lucky their mine". it's natural, they're yours aren't they? exactly, so act like it.. this is used the exact same way when manifesting..
you see someone with something you want? thinking of something you wanna do? something you wanna be? ... it's urs... so can you act like it?? like whyre u feeling sad someone else got a job promotion 😹😹 you literally got a better one ...
3. that's literally it
you don't need a fancy method (although it can give u some peace of mind.. let's be real, a lot of methods set y'all back and make you overwhelmed, blocking ur beliefs and making everything seem harder). you literally just need to live. tell yourself it's done, over and over again. nothing matters. it's done, it's yours, you have it, you're happy and fulfilled. other peoples sucess should really mean nothing to you negatively. it shouldn't make you stressed, shouldn't make you feel behind.. why would it when you have everything, you can do everything, go anywhere, and you can be anything.
it'll seem like manifesting blogs and shifting blogs just repeat the same things.. which is true, they do, because i'm telling you there's nothing more to it than what you've already read. it is that easy. all it takes is your mind. decide, and tell yourself.
as i said before, it took me barely anytime to switch my mindset once i actually started focusing on myself, my journey and not every body else's results. repeating stuff to yourself WORKS. repeating is literally ALL i did. choose what i want, told myself it's mine in any way i could describe it. and there, it's mine. ive shifted to many different realities, along side gaining a better life in this one after years of convincing myself there was nothing for me. if i can break out of the cycle, trust me you can too. i cannot describe how desperate i was at the beginning, how long i took in false info and wasted time on methods all while doubting every single thing.
so why don't you believe it? you'll sit there and tell yourself over and over again that you're ugly, or broke, or friendless... but you won't tell urself that you've shifted? that you have your dream body...? girl okay i guess....
once you realize nothing besides your mind truly matters, is when you'll be free with yourself. circumstances don't matter, past feelings don't matter, doubts don't matter, your mind is all you need.
yes this is just loa explained longer, that's the point of the post because some of u still can't get it in ur heads
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DEEP HONEY | SUNGHOON
SUMMARY: the last thing you want to do is interrupt sunghoon’s time with his friends, but your doting boyfriend has always said he’ll be there whenever you need him. when a shift at work leaves you hanging by a thread, he and his friends are there to patch your soul back up.
NOTES: felt some type of way and naturally i need a hug from sunghoon. best i can do is write about it.
PAIRING: sunghoon x fem!reader
WORD COUNT: 2.6K
WARNINGS: angst, typical rough day stuff and typos, probably.
MASTERLIST
***
Your car comes to a complete halt when you situate yourself on the curb of Lee Heeseung’s apartment. The rumble of the pavement beneath your tires ceases to amplify the slight movement that naturally shakes your car seats and you sit in the driver’s side like you’re a zombie.
The muggy atmosphere from the heat attempting to displace the freezing air makes your skin feel sticky and gross as you turn your engine off. The overhead lights temporarily blind you as you stare ahead into the dark night and feel the tension building up in your body.
Your jaw clenches and your cheeks become warm with the sheer amount of frustration seeping into your bones. The cold sweat you harbor makes you feel hot and freezing at the same time. The coolness of your glass window does nothing to quell your body’s temperature.
The familiar two-story house beside you is where Heeseung lives. He rents the bottom property and has lived with Park Jongseong ever since you all collectively started the last year of university.
You don’t necessarily want to be here. Coming to Heeseung’s apartment because you feel like you might combust at any minute seems like an invasion of privacy. Your boyfriend Sunghoon had let you know that he was sleeping over at his friends’ apartment tonight and you had no qualms with the proposition. He deserved to have his time with his friends too. Although it seems that your mind has its own agenda and you find yourself in front of Heeseung’s place in no time.
You step out of the car and lock it. Your feet carry you around the hood and you step onto the hard sidewalk with a slight wobble. The air is chilling, throwing a stark shiver down your spine as you huddle in your arms for warmth. The jacket you have sprawled on the backseat looks at you with concern.
You’re a step away from ringing the doorbell but your finger hovers the white button as tears well up in your eyes. The feeling of desperation and burden weigh on your chest as you listen to the muffled laughter that comes from Heeseung’s living room. Sunghoon hadn’t seen his friends in a few weeks between classes, work, and you. The last thing you want to do is impede on his time with his friends when you’ve spent the better half of this month glued to his side.
But you can’t help it. Your nose feels like it could be burning from the cold and the weather forces you to ring Heeseung’s doorbell when it ripples through your shirt. You hear him padding to the front door and can make out his figure from the bottom, his shadow blocking the light from inside.
Heeseung opens it just slightly ajar to assess who’s standing outside his apartment at this late hour. When he opens it, seeing you standing in the cold with red eyes and no jacket makes him panic.
“Y/N?” he asks. “What are you doing here?”
You think he might close the door with the look of confusion on his face but he opens it wider to allow you into his apartment. He shuts it quickly behind him and notices your chattering teeth, eyes softening at the sound when you look up at him. Heeseung watches your eyes begin to water and puts a hand on your upper back to soothe your emotions, but it makes you spill a few tears.
“I-I’m sorry for coming here,” you hiccup. “I didn’t know where else to go.”
“It’s okay, Y/N. You can always come over if you need something.”
You speak faster than you can think. “Today was so awful.”
Heeseung purses his lips and tells you to stay put. You watch him retreat into the living room and stare at the wall clock in front of you until you hear Heeseung say, “Hoon, your girl’s here.”
Sunghoon hears the worry in his friend’s voice because he stands up from the couch like he’s on a mission. With his eyebrows furrowed and heart beating in his chest, Sunghoon follows Heeseung to the front door and is immediately presented with you.
You look nothing like the happy-go-lucky girlfriend he said goodbye to before heading over to Heeseung’s. This morning, you’d woken up next to Sunghoon and he’d given you a tender kiss before heading to spend the day with his friends. Now, your eyes are swollen and your cheeks are stained with salty tears.
His heart plummets when he sees you standing in Heeseung’s doorway with no jacket on. You look helpless in a way he doesn’t see very often. Your knees buckle in your pants and the goosebumps on your arms are prominent to his eye.
Sunghoon wastes no time and envelopes you in a hug, pulling you into his chest until your face is situated in his neck.
“Baby?” he asks, feeling your hot breaths against his skin. “Talk to me. What happened? You’re so cold. Where’s your jacket? Did you bring one?”
His deep, honey-like voice that utter sweet concern only makes you cry harder. You try to keep your chokes and sobs as quiet as possible but the hiccups emitting from your throat make it impossible. You try to ignore the fact that Sunghoon’s friends can likely hear you weeping, instead focusing on your boyfriend’s warmth.
His arms encircle your body, one hand protectively around your waist and the other secured behind you. Sunghoon’s hands cup the back of your head and he strokes his fingers through your head lovingly.
“I had a bad day.” Your broken whispers makes Sunghoon’s heart sink even further. He pushes your hair out of the way and kisses your temple with plump lips.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he says. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Rethinking the events that led to your arrival at Heeseung’s place only fuels your tears and you shut your eyes, burying yourself further into your boyfriend’s neck.
Heeseung, helplessly standing around the corner, walks closer to tell him the two of you could use his bedroom. Sunghoon rubs the small of your back and slowly walks towards the room, guiding you inside without so much as a word spoken. Heeseung closes the door behind you two and Sunghoon immediately perches the two of you on the edge of his bed.
“My baby.” Sunghoon lifts your head and pushes the tears underneath your eyes away with the pads of his thumbs. “What’s got you upset, hm? Are you hurt?”
“No,” you choke. “I’m not hurt.”
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
Sunghoon pulls you into his chest and further onto Heeseung’s bed when you give into him. He lets you cry against him, not caring that his shirt is becoming damp as the seconds pass by. His palm soothes the entirety of your back and he kisses the crown of your head, periodically squeezing you tighter when his heart breaks at the sound of your sobs.
“Life is so hard,” you say into his chest. “I feel overwhelmed and scared.”
“Scared of what, baby?”
“I don’t know. Everything? I had the worst shift at work today. A customer ordered a hot coffee but I made it iced by accident and instead of letting me remake it for her, she involved my manager and was making a scene in front of everybody there.”
“I’m sorry.” Sunghoon whispers against your temple and kisses it again. “That’s frustrating.”
“My manager tried to get her to leave but she was pushy. Usually I could handle that but I’m overwhelmed with school and my senior project that I just broke down when the manager sent me home.”
“Your manager doesn’t think you’re at fault, right?”
“No,” you shake your head. “Nothing like that. He said I looked like I needed some rest and told me to take the rest of the night off.”
“Thank God.” He squeezes you tighter. “I’m sorry you had such a bad day. You shouldn’t have to put up with mean people who get mad at you for making a small mistake.”
“Everybody is so fucking mean, Hoon.” You roughly push away the tears from your eyes with the heel of your palm. “I’m tired of everybody expecting so much from me. Between work, school, and my parents asking me what job I’ll have after graduating, it’s all too much.”
Sunghoon coos. “You’re so precious, you know that? You’re dealing with so much and you’re allowed to cry about it. I’m sorry everything is affecting you like this.”
“Sorry for ruining your boys night,” you sniffle. “I feel awful that I took you away from your friends.”
Your boyfriend shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry. I’d come to you in a heartbeat if you called.”
His words only make you cry harder. Sunghoon is the perfect boyfriend. He dotes on you like you’re the only woman he’s ever loved in his entire life and lets you know how beautiful you are any chance he gets. He gets along with your friends and family, welcomes you into his own life, and makes you feel like you can achieve anything whether he’s in the picture or not.
Being with him has made you feel safer than you have in a long time. His arms provide the kind of comfort you’ve always been seeking and despite the amount of frustration and sadness in your body, it seems to be melting away with every kiss Sunghoon puts on your forehead.
Heeseung knocks gently and opens the door just slightly. You feel silly being held like a baby in front of Sunghoon’s friends who you’ve met only once before. It was at Heeseung’s house that you first met the three guys Sunghoon is closest to after they made an effort to invite you over to a night at the local dive bar before coming back to watch a marathon of Marvel movies. Your love for Iron Man catapulted the start of your friendship with Heeseung in particular and Sunghoon was starting to love how well you fit into his life.
“It’s been a while and I wanted to check in. You doin’ okay?”
You sniffle and hold onto Sunghoon’s arm. “Bad day. Everybody sucks.”
Heeseung laughs. “Preaching to the choir.” You immediately realize you neglected to take your shoes off when entering the apartment and scold yourself for bringing dirt onto his hardwood floors.
“Shit,” you say, pulling your legs higher so they’re farther from the surface. “I’m so sorry Heeseung. I’m sorry for barging in.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. Take them off, I’ll put them by the door.”
You oblige. Sunghoon holds you to balance your body as you hand each sneaker to Heeseung, who doesn’t look at you weirdly or scold you for interrupting his time with your boyfriend. Instead, he smiles at you and lets you know Jongseong and Sim Jaeyun, another one of Sunghoon’s friends that you met during the movie night, are outside and concerned for you.
“We don’t have to go out if you don’t want to,” Sunghoon tells you as Heeseung closes the door behind him for a second time. “But they really like you and I know they care about you.”
“I only met them once,” you hiccup, toying with the hem attached to the bottom of his shirt. “How could they possibly like me?”
Sunghoon laughs and kisses your cheek. “I talk about you all the time. I’m pretty sure they’re sick of hearing me talk about you and would rather hang out with you instead.”
“You do?”
He nods. “Mhm. I have the best girlfriend in the world, you know. They had a lot of fun getting to know you and were planning on inviting you to a barbecue Jongseong’s having next weekend.”
“Really?”
Your doe-like eyes makes Sunghoon’s heart melt. He nods and kisses your nose. “Yes, baby. They love you. Not as much as I do, but a close second.” Hearing you laugh makes him breathe easier.
“I still feel bad for ruining your guys’ night,” you say with a pout.
Sunghoon eases your mind and presses a tender kiss to your lips to displace said pout. “We’ve all been there. If you’re uncomfortable, we can go back to your place and sleep?”
You shake your head. “This is your night. I don’t want to interrupt and make things awkward.”
“Why don’t we at least get you some water. You don’t have to say anything but at least drink something so you’re not dehydrated.” You don’t want to get up and face the embarrassment of the other three boys seeing you cry, but you know Sunghoon is right. After all the crying you’ve done, you’re feeling parched.
You nod and stand from him, all while he still has one hand in yours. Moments like this make you appreciate Sunghoon even more than you already do. He’s willing to do anything for you at the drop of a hat and it gives you butterflies when you remember this handsome, generous man is your boyfriend.
Jongseong and Jaeyun look at you with concerned eyes when you meet them outside. You try to speak but your mouth keeps opening and closing as you find the words to say.
“I’m okay,” you tell them. “And I’m sorry for ruining your night.”
Jongseong hands you a glass of water. “Don’t sweat it, Y/N. Everyone has bad days.”
“Yeah, but you guys haven’t seen Hoon in forever and this was supposed to be your weekend.” Your sincere apology and the cracks in your voice make Jaeyun’s eyes water too.
“It’s alright,” he tells you sincerely. “We love hanging out with you. You should stay and we can watch movies. We were gonna do that anyway.”
“I don’t want to intrude.”
“Jongseong and I want you to stay,” Heeseung says. The two of them nod. “You shouldn’t be alone when you feel like this.”
“Fuck,” you say, voice cracking to the point where it makes you laugh. The four boys laugh as well and feel the relief in the air around them. “You guys are too nice.”
“We were gonna order takeout too,” Jongseong says, pulling his phone out. “We were thinking maybe fried chicken but Hoon says you love Thai food. Why don’t we order stuff from the place around the block and eat it family style?”
“Oh, you don’t have to change it for me.”
Jongseong waves you off. “Nah. We all love Thai. Any excuse to eat it.”
“And don’t think about paying us back,” Jaeyun says with a genuine smile. “I’ll pay for it.”
“We’ll split it by four,” Heeseung adds.
Jongseong lets you put in your order and everybody else follows suit. Sunghoon has you tucked underneath his chin as the whole ordeal happens and kisses the side of your face every so often.
“Feel better?” He asks, mouth against your ear. His warm breath is comforting, as to remind you that he’ll always be there for you.
“Much better.” Your voice is no longer brittle from your cries. Sunghoon smiles.
“My sweet baby,” he coos. “You’re so pretty when you cry.”
“What about when I’m not crying?”
“Still pretty.” He squishes your cheeks with his hands and pressed a kiss to your fattened lips. “Adorable, even.”
Jaeyun looks at the two of you and laughs. He can only hope that he’ll feel like that with someone someday. It compels him to say something.
“You guys are stupid cute.”
Sunghoon says nothing. He smiles at his friend and squeezes you tighter. Having him to lean back on makes you feel like you might be the luckiest girl in the world.
***
comments and reblogs would be appreciated! xx
#enhypen x reader#sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon x reader#kpop x reader#enha x reader#enhypen imagines#sunghoon imagines#park sunghoon imagines#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon angst#sunghoon#my writing*
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if you're stuck on a chapter there are a few reasons:
-your set up to the scene you're writing is not working. go back and check it
-you are not in the right POV. think about who would be the most interesting or the most entertaining or the most informative in that scene, depending on what impact you want the scene to have
-you're at the beginning of the chapter and the words aren't coming to you even though you have it planned out already? the solution is simple: you don't like what you have planned out as much as you think you do. do not force it
-solution to a lot of problems comes from a single question I ask myself: Do I choose the kind option, or the mean option? (Your readers will eat up either one)
-You find the dialogue lacking? Act it out
-Your scene feels boring or something just "ain't right" but you can't tell what it is? Try making yourself feel the emotion you want your readers to feel. If you didn't cry while writing a scene meant to make your readers bawl their eyes out, then you might not have connected to your character as well as you wanted to. Put yourself in their shoes, pretend you ARE them.
(And afterwards, please practice putting yourself back in your own shoes and taking care of your mental health. Sometimes the fucked up stuff might get to you. Healthy minds create healthy lives, and in turn, you get to keep creating.)
-Your environment might be bothering you. Take a look around you and see what's nagging you. Is your workspace not clean? Are your notes out of order? A clean/orderly workspace can help you organize your thoughts or get you into a more productive mood. (Trust me, I get it, sometimes it's really hard to keep it tidy.)
-Try white/brown/pink noise. Try listening to music, or to videos that create background noise you feel most productive with.
-Jumping jacks. Squats. Stretches. Wiggle around your room. That one scene in High School Musical where Sharpay and Ryan are warming up. It sounds ridiculous, but this is good for you, your body, and your mind. Release pent up energy, get yourself awake and focused. If you aren't able to do this, try something silly to wake your brain up. Do some puzzles, sing some songs, etc.
-Most importantly:
Did you do your laundry? Did you get enough sun? Did you drink enough water? Did you eat enough today? Did you get your favorite snack? Did you smile? Did you run in your yard like you did as a kid? Did you laugh with your friend? Did you see the way their eyes crinkle when they smile at you? Did you play with your dog? Your cat? Did you look at the flowers in the field near your house? Did you meet someone new? Did you learn something you didn't before? Did you try something you were scared of? Did it go well? Did you enjoy being yourself? Did you explore the world today? Did you live? Did you love? Did you feel? Did you breathe, and relax, and feel that everything is gonna be okay?
It might seem insignificant, but we write from the heart, not just the mind. Let your story sit in the back of your mind when you truly feel stuck. Take care of yourself, try getting out of your head. Notice the details around you, commit them to memory. Your story will wait for you. It might take a day, or days, or a week, or a month, months, or a year or years. But the story sits with you and you'll be thinking about it without actually thinking about it. When you come to your story again, it will be happy that you've grown, no matter how big or small
#erinwantstowrite#writing blog#writing advice#writing#writing inspiration#writer's block#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#mental health#it's so imprtant to take care of yourself#your characters want you to do that#they live as an extension of you
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YANDERE ASSASIN
Requests are open !
• You and your husband has been married for 2 years now. And you were happy with each other.
• You are an accountant for a company while your husband is an engineer.
• You were like any other normal couple working, eating dinner together, going out on weekends, doing the usual day to day stuff.
• But one thing you didn't knew was that well your husband is an fake engineer who pretends to be one.
• In reality he is a most sought after assasin who is hired to kill top level people.
• The "I have to go out for two days for a project darling" is nothing but a excuse he gives you to go and kill his target in another state.
• Have guns hidden in various places in your shared home for " safety purpose ".
• One time you found one of his gun and asked him why is it here? "Hehe well darling the crime rate is increasing day by day I bought it for us for our safety I even have a legal licence for the gun." (Yes a licence for being an assasin)
• This is the same man who melts into your arms, follows you around the house like a puppy, looks at you like you hung the moon and stars and also the same man who doesn't miss his target even from miles and shoots them mercilessly.
• Hits all the target in a shooting game giving you a huge stuffed teddy bear while saying "Beginner's luck, baby."
• Yan vowed in the beginning phase of his job that he would never get married due to his job risk but you entered his life, made him break his vow as he asked you to marry him after falling so desperately in love with you. How couldn't he? You are just so damn perfect.
• You mentioned in a conversation to him casually how a co worker creeped you out by his staring. Boom from next day the co-worker now always avoids you like plague. (Because some unknown assasin threatened his life if he ever came near you)
• He has never been guilty in his life for killing people or having it as job but becomes guilty in a millisecond when he sees you sad thinking how bad of a husband I am? And to make all the clarifications clear you were not sad due to him you were just having your usual period mood swings. Because no way in hell this man would ever make you sad. Before making you cry he would shoot himself with his own gun.
• You both were watching an assasin movie on a weekend and you said how good looking and skilled that assasin the movie character is.
Meanwhile Yan's Mind : Control your self yan no need to be jealous you are better than that freaking stupid looking loser assasin. y/n just doesn't know. Control.
• Yan at a Halloween night comes home after shooting his target with a little blood on his clothes wearing his assasin black clothes and a gun in hand knowing full well that you are at your friend's house. Only to be surprised that you are at home throwing him a suprise Halloween party with others. You looking at him with a confused look as he stands on doorstep shocked.
Yan : Suprise baby!!! I came up dressed up as an assain that you liked in that movie. I hope you like it. (Saying with an akward smile while telling himself to not be so reckless next time)
Meanwhile the people at party who know the true Yan : 🧍♂️
• Is so damn protective of you due to his work line that whenever he leaves for days makes sure your friend stays with you and making sure you are safe through all the hidden cameras spread all over the house.
• He loves you a lot. He might be a deadly assasin to the whole world but he is just a normal engineer madly in love with you who just wants to devour you whole so no one else can have you.
• Reader to their friends : My husband won't ever hurt a fly.
Meanwhile Yan listening to this conversation: 🧍♂️
• When he is off duty he just spoils you with his cooking and spending all his time with you cuddling watching shows and just talking.
• Prays to god that you never found out about his true job afraid that you would get scared and leave him.
For more yandere reading :
#yandere smut#soft yandere#dark yandere#dom yandere#yandere fic#oc yandere#yandere drabble#yandere imagines#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#tw yandere#fem reader#male reader#x reader#reader insert#gender neutral reader#obsessive love#obssesive#possesive love#yancore#yandere#irl yan#yan blog#yanblr#irl yandere#yandere husband#yandere ceo#yandere boyfriend
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“Megumi!” You call your son in the living room, who’s sitting next to his father, Toji, on the couch watching the news. “Could you go grab your sister and tell her to put her studying on hold? Dinner’s almost done.”
“Yeah, no problem,” Megumi says as he rises to his feet, putting his headphones around his neck and pulling his phone out of his hoodie pocket. “Oh, uh, Mom?”
“Hm?”
“Can Itadori spend the night after dinner?” He then looks over at Toji with a small scowl. “After Dad hides all of his assassin stuff?”
“Hey, watch it,” Toji says.
You nod with a light smile. You loved having Yuuji Itadori over. He was a bright kid, and besides, he made Megumi relaxed and happy. “Of course. Go prepare the guest bed, yeah?”
Megumi departs with a nod, then heads upstairs. From the living room, you hear Toji whistle. “Wow. Baby, looks like Spider-Man stopped that bank robbery.”
You look up from the dishes in the kitchen, then hum in delight when you catch what’s on the screen. It looked like small clips from the internet as the reporter gave details. The masked hero, wearing blue and red, swings, fights, and rescues hostages swiftly. “Incredible,” you say, then walk over to hand your husband a list of groceries. “Could you head to the store and grab these? I want to make sure that we have enough food for breakfast in the morning now that Yuuji will be staying the night.”
Toji looks around to make sure that Megumi and Tsumiki aren’t present, then lowers his voice to a whisper. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about Yuuji.”
“Megumi has feelings for him. Yeah, I know.”
“No- Not that. Amazing for them, and I think they’re adorable together, but,” Toji points over at the TV. “I think he’s Spider-Man.”
You blink, then burst into laughter as you head back into the kitchen. “Toji, what? Don’t be ridiculous. He’s only fifteen and very busy. You know how often he studies with Megumi.”
“I’m serious,” he says as he follows you. “Think about it. Do you know how often Yuuji shows up with bruises or scratches?”
You begin arranging plates on the dining room table. “Just like our son, the kid’s a fighter. I mean, his uncle Sukuna was a huge fighter before he passed away. Plus, he spends a lot of time with Satoru Gojo, and we know how he is. Also, doesn’t he have an older brother? Brothers fight.”
“True, but just walk with me for a second.” You sigh and look up to see Toji waving his hands animatedly as he explained. “Do you remember when we all went to the parade on New Years together, and that giant robot appeared?”
“Yes, it was all everyone could talk about for days.”
“Uh-huh.” He then points at you. “Do you also remember how Yuuji was gone when Spider-Man appeared at the scene?”
You stare at him blankly. “...Toji, he went to the bathroom before everything happened,” you remind him. “I’m certain that he got lost in the crowd when everyone started running.”
Toji groans. “You don’t believe me. Baby, I’m telling you—He’s Spider-Man. I can’t prove it now, but I will eventually.”
You sigh again and cross your arms. “Okay, so, let’s say he was. What would you do?”
“Well, I mean…” Toji mutters, then sheepishly rubs the back of his head as he quietly chuckles. “I dunno, give him a high-five? Worry about Megumi?”
“Trust me, Toji. The only people with secret identities here are you and I.” You reach over and grab a stack of napkins. “By the way, Megumi had a point earlier. Be more careful about where you’re leaving weapons. One of Tsumiki’s friends nearly saw one not too long ago.”
He winces. “Sorry.”
“You’re fine.” You push to your tip toes and gently kiss him. “No job tonight, right? I know I don’t have one.”
“Nope. Once I get those groceries, I’m all free.” He grabs the list from you, then reaches towards you to lovingly push a loose strand of hair away from your face. “I’ll be back soon.” When he leaves through the back door, the front doorbell rings.
You hear Megumi rush down the stairs. “I got it,” he tells you as he passes you. When the door opens, Yuuji Itadori waves at you with his usual grin. “Hi, Mrs. Fushiguro!”
“Hi, Yuuji. What happened to your face?” You ask. His lip is slightly busted, and there’s a bruise beginning to form on his jaw. Yuuji laughs sheepishly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his yellow hoodie. “Oh, uh, me and Okkotsu fought again. Gojo-sensei had to pull us apart.”
Megumi rolls his eyes. “I swear, you’re always fighting.”
“Aw, come on, Megumi,” Yuuji teases with a smirk as he crosses his arms. “You’re just as bad. I heard about what happened a few days ago.”
Your son’s cheeks dust with pink, and he clears his throat. “Yeah, whatever. You need to get cleaned up before dinner. Come on, there’s a first-aid kit in the bathroom.”
Megumi goes upstairs, and Yuuji follows close behind him. You’re about to tell Yuuji that the flap of his backpack is slightly unzipped, but the words get stuck in your throat when you catch the tiniest hint of the red and blue suit. You only see it for a split-second before Yuuji swings his backpack around, excitedly telling Megumi about a new action figure he wants to get for his birthday.
Your eyes widen. Holy shit.
-----
a/n: lol i can't believe I wrote this. spidey yuuji au, you'll always be loved by me <3
#jjk x reader#written by rey <3#spiderman itafushi au#itafushi#jujutsu kaisen#toji x reader#toji fluff#toji fushiguro#jjk imagine#jjk au#jujutsu kaisen x reader#spidey yuuji#yuuji itadori#jjk crack#spiderverse#jjk x spiderverse#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro tsumiki
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