#and i know im never going to be fully free from this pain. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mm-lurking · 7 months ago

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MAY I REQUEST FOR ANGST POOKS 😘😝 MYBE ABT BRINGING UP THEIR DEAD EX BY ACCIDENT DURING AN ARGUEMENT? THERES RARELY ANY ANGST IM GETTING MAD 👹

I saw your ask at 11 pm and something about the way you wrote your request made me giggle so hard idk why 🤣 Since you demand angst I shall give it to you. You’re my first ask btw so thank you very much!

I’m not sure which character you wanted me to write for so I’m going to go for Blade and Aventurine. Though feel free to send me specific characters through the ask again!

Warnings: no fluff at all, pure angst, fem! reader and ex, reader has no chill running her mouth, Aventurine’s kinda feels ooc sorry about that WC: 1881

Blade

You were a hair’s breadth away from being gravely injured. If it weren’t for Blade’s interruption you would have been Antimatter Legion dinner tonight. In your eyes you weren’t in that much danger, you knew you could handle it on your own but in Blade’s eyes, it was just another flashback to how he lost her. It felt frustrating to watch him downplay your capabilities, it's not like you were some weak damsel in distress. There was a reason your relations with the Stellaron Hunters had lasted as far as it had; you were good at wielding your weapon and making good use of the enemy’s weaknesses. Sure there were moments when you were in trouble but you never really got to live the thrill of it because Blade would always step in to help you even when you didn’t ask for it.

You loved him dearly and appreciated his assistance but just for this instance, you wanted to deal with things by yourself. Ultimately your agitation got the best of you and so now here you were with your arms crossed, glaring at Blade after the enemy was taken care of.

“Have you always been this foolish?”

You stare at him with wide eyes and an open mouth, questioning his audacity of insulting you like this.

“Excuse me?”

“You could have gotten hurt.”

He says matter-of-factly and you feel your jaws clench at the way he speaks to you.

“Blade I am fully capable of looking after myself! I need you to stop interrupting my fights!”

“If I didn’t that Antimatter Legion pawn would have sliced your head off your shoulders.”

“And how the hell do you know that was going to happen?! I could have fought it easily if it weren’t for you!”

He turns around and looks at you with cold eyes which make you flinch momentarily.

“You overestimate yourself.”

“I do not! I have worked relentlessly on my skills! I know what I can handle or what I can’t! You just never allow me to prove it!”

“You are a fool. I do not need to see you pushed to your limits to acknowledge your skills.”

“Then why the hell won’t you let me do what I want?!”

You both argue back and forth with neither of you backing down. Blade speaks calmly, just as he always has but with slight frustration whereas you on the other hand are full-on yelling and boiling over to the point of rage. He takes a deep breath and continues.

“I am just looking out for you-”

“I am not weak like Chun. Stop treating me like I am.”

You almost immediately regret it the moment those words leave your mouth. Your words are sharp and bitter, and pierce his heart like a blade slashing through flesh. His eyes are ablaze with fury and pain and the way his jaw clenches is enough to let you know you have overstepped your boundary.

Chun was his first love. She was a good woman with a kind heart, and despite how odd she looked amongst the Stellaron Hunters, they welcomed her as long as it made Blade happy. But in a world full of evil, being kind is a weakness and ultimately she met her end in the hands of an enemy during heated negotiations. For the one whose life was already cursed by immortality, he took her death hard and swore never to love again, for he couldn’t bear to witness yet another loved one depart for the nth time in his long life. His already broken heart took ages to heal and by the time you crossed paths with him, he was still grieving over her. You knew this very well because it was you who assured him that history wouldn’t repeat itself with you. It was you who helped him heal further and gave him the confidence to open his heart up once more to you. You knew what she meant to him because he had been honest with you about his past yet-

“Blade I-”

-here you were driving the very knife you had taken out of him so lovingly back into his heart in full force. He looks at you with so much despise and agony that your heart hurts knowing you are the cause for it. A blade being stabbed over and over into his body hurt, but those wounds always healed after a while. Yet the wound your words had caused was one that no medication could fix. Your throat tightens and you want to reach out to him and hold him but you stay glued to your feet.

“We don’t need to be around each other anymore.”

Despite the torment he feels, he looks straight into your eyes and monotonously speaks. There is not even a single moment spared for you to reply as he walks out of the room and slams the door shut, indicating he is done with you. The door closing was not just the end of the argument you both were having, it was also the end of what you were to each other. You stand there rooted to the ground as tears sting your eyes. Why did you have to be like this?

Aventurine

“Aventurine I swear to god I am not playing your petty games again.”

You angrily huff as you cross your arms and glare at Aventurine with disapproval. The audacity of this man was truly something, especially at a time like this. You both were stuck in an interesting situation, where Aventurine had made a gamble with an enemy territory and he wanted you to be part of it. More precisely, he wanted to turn you into his bargaining chip for a while. There was one tiny problem. He wasn’t asking for your approval, he had already made the deal.

“The table has already been set, friend. You just have to play your role real well.”

Your jaw hangs low when you realise what he has done.

“Aventurine don’t tell me….”

“They have decided to ask for you in exchange of information. Do not worry, I will find a way to-“

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence as a loud slap resonates across the room. You stare at him in disbelief with tears welling your eyes, unable to process what he has done. A shaky sigh leaves his mouth and he stares at you, bewildered by your behaviour.

“It hasn’t even been a full week since we finished another deal and you want me to jump head-on into another one?!”

“Was there a need to slap me like this? If you’re forgetting, friend, you agreed to help me out on these deals regardless of the risk. Or should I have the doctor examine your memory?”

“Aventurine I agreed to help you out, not be used however you please! You could have at least asked me first before making the deal!”

You rub your temples and rethink the entire situation through. Your relationship with Aventurine was compatible due to one simple fact: you both loved taking risks. The thrill of the gamble and the adrenaline of waiting for the results kept you both alive. It was the drug you both needed in this cruel unjust world.

But this, this was different. This wasn’t just any gamble and it wasn’t a small one either. Being traded off to the enemy territory for a few weeks was no easy task and you have no idea what the hell Aventurine was thinking. In your last deal, you barely made it out alive as the tables turned against your favour. It was a miracle your assets weren’t taken and that you weren’t killed in the process.

“…I promise you will be fine, friend.”

Tears sting your eyes and you try to take a deep breath.

“How can you be so sure?”

“The gaiaithra triclops blesses me abundantly. We will not lose.”

“Is that what you said to Lilac as well before her demise?”

You hear how his breath hitches in his throat at the mention of Lilac. He coughs a little and then stares at you with a look you cannot decipher.

“Do not bring her up.”

His voice is a mere whisper and you know you’re crossing some lines already. Yet you don’t stop there. You jab your right index finger into his chest with every word you speak.

“I don’t know what’s worse, being a gambling chip on purpose or being a gambling chip unknowingly, like she was.”

He grips the hand you have on his chest tightly. You can’t help but wince a little at how he’s looking at you with red eyes filled with regret and anger. He tries to speak but you cut him off.

“Was losing her not enough to learn your lesson? Or do you turn everyone you love into pawns of your game?”

“You’re crossing the line now.”

He warns and you shake your head.

“You treat everyone like an asset, even the ones who truly love you without any hidden agenda. No wonder you couldn’t save Lilac-“

“Enough!”

Before you can process what is going on Aventurine pulls out a gun from his inner coat pocket and shoots a random vase on the table behind you. The bang of the gun and the loud shattering of the ceramic into pieces makes you jump and shake a little. He then shifts his gaze on you and lets your hand go before issuing his warning.

“…you need to leave. Leave before I accidentally hurt you.”

“I-“

“I said leave!”

He points the gun at you. His hand is shaking in a manner you have never seen before and you can tell he doesn’t want to do this but you’re giving him no choice. You stare at him for a moment and nod your head before scurrying away.

Once you’re out of his sight he plops onto the nearest sofa and drops his gun. It lands with a loud thud as he puts his head into his hands and shakes visibly. Flashbacks of that dreaded day start to play over and over in his head and he clenches his teeth as a tear rolls down his eye.

Lilac was a woman he met during one of his travels as an IPC stoneheart. They got along pretty well and eventually fell in love. A few years ago, Aventurine asked her for help during a deal he made and she agreed only for the other party to target her as leverage against Aventurine. He still remembers the pain in her eyes as she looked at him, confused and hurt from how she became the target. He remembers holding her in his arms apologising over and over for his lack of foresight, unable to figure out where he went wrong.

It was the first and last deal he ever lost. And now you, his new partner after several hard years of grief, were bringing up old wounds that never healed. Gaps of his heart that nothing would ever fill. Another tear rolls down his eye as he grits his teeth further. Had he known you would bring her up like this, he would have never told you about her. It’s always the closest ones that hurt you the most. ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ©mm-lurking 2024 do not copy, steal or reuse my work.

#honkai star rail #hsr x reader #blade x reader #hsr blade #hsr angst #blade angst #blade x female reader #aventurine #hsr aventurine #aventurine honkai star rail #aventurine x reader #aventurine hsr #star rail aventurin #musingwithmaiya #tumblr asks

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fluffy-dixon · 8 months ago

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Okay but Daryl holding his son or daughter for the first time...I need this prompt done!

Anon, this is for you.

Daryl holding his new born son.

Our Boy

You watched as Daryl cradled your newborn son. His fingers traced the delicate curve of the baby’s cheek, the baby’s eyes, wide and searching, locked onto Daryl’s—a gentle coo from the baby as he looked up at his father. For a man who had faced the horrors of the undead, this vulnerability was uncharted territory. Yet, here he was, heart on sleeve.

Although you hadn’t fully recovered from the birth, you were still in excruciating amounts of pain, but the sight before your eyes of Daryl cradling your boy in his arms was enough to numb the pain. Walking over silently to his side, you rested your head against his shoulder, gently rubbing his back with your free hand. You could feel him trembling beneath your touch.

Baby stirred, his tiny hand reaching out towards your husband’s face. Daryl adjusted his hold, cradling the baby against his chest. The weight of responsibility settled upon him—the promise to protect, to guide, to be more than just a survivor but a better father than his own was ever to him.

You could see tears starting to build up in his eyes. He blinked them back, unwilling to let them fall. But his voice cracked when he spoke, raw and unfiltered.

Daryl: “Look at ‘im, darlin’. Our boy.”

His thumb brushed the baby’s cheek, to which he responded with a flutter of eyelids and a cheeky smile.

You leaned in, pressing your lips to Daryl’s temple.

Y/N: I know, I love you.

Your voice was thick with emotion. He nodded, unable to tear his gaze away from his son. The room seemed to shrink, the walls closing in, until it was just the three of them—their little sanctuary in a world gone mad, surrounded by the remnants of a broken world.

Daryl: I’m going to be the best daddy to you, I promise. I will never, EVER let you down.

Now the tears fell freely from his eyes. Turning to him, you reached up to wipe the tears from his eyes, tracing your hand up into his ragged hair. You gently pulled his face down to yours, pressing his lips to yours in a tender kiss.

Daryl: I love you both so much.

Now a blubbering mess, he rested his head against yours, encircling his free arm around your waist, pulling you closer into his embrace, with your little bundle of joy cocooned between the two of you.

#daryl dixon #the walking dead #norman reedus #twd #daryl x reader #daryl #daryl dixon x reader #daryl fanfiction #daryl x y/n #daryl x female reader #daddy daryl #daddy daryl dixon #twd fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfic #the walking dead fanfiction

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forbidding-souda · 3 months ago

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I can’t even remember if I’ve requested this before and you’ve already written it or not. But uh. Korekiyo spanking S/O? Pretty please? Just anything with that, go wild lol

(Assuming nsfw requests are open. Otherwise just ignore this)

Korekiyo Shinguuji spanking his S/O (NSFW)

4 you anon <3 this took me about 5 hours to write becaues i started watching hamilton roblox and got distracted. this might be too short bc i've actually never experienced spanking like this at all so this is all through the noggin and quora LMFAO WAIT YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW OFTEN I USE QUORA AS MEANS OF GAINING INFO FOR SOME FICS LMFAOOOOO. here's a gundham spanking one i wrote before that perfectly explains this processs LOL

ya'll oh my god i am so sick rn as if classes don't start in two days bruh fucking free me im gonna slam my head through a wall bruh i get sick so easily it's not even funny i stole some of my roommates benedryl like i'm coughing so hard.

and all of these sprites i've been using this week are copy and pasted from old posts so i def need to remake them with hair color and piercing updates bc helppp LMFAO i'll do that eventually

-Mod Souda

❤ He is the happiest man on the planet whenever it comes to giving you the sexual pleasure you need. He is delighted to be able to serve you.

❤ His long nails will offer soothing yet ticklish caresses to the back of your naked thighs. Your ass is such a tender part of your body, he loves to touch it, to grope it and when he does, he presses his lips to the pulse of your neck to feel how fast your heartbeat goes.

❤ He's always too excited to undress you. Even your shirt will still be on.

❤ He prefers using his hands, loving the physical contact.

❤ He'll have you folded over his lap, or having your front pressed against a wall on your tippy toes. No matter the position, every time you squirm you'll be able to feel his thick erection.

❤ "My, my." He'll coo at each of your desperate gasps.

❤ In between each spank is the sharp tingle that never seems to relent.

❤ For some real visualization:

❤ You had your knees to the floor and your chest against the couch. Your wrists were constructed with his favorite red rope, the color looked so pretty against you. One of his hands held you down from between your shoulder blades while the other went back and forth compacting against your ass.

❤ Your underwear wasn't even fully off and neither was your pants. They were pulled down to just below the fold of your cheeks.

❤ He was too impatient to strip you.

❤ The loud smack made you cry out in pain, especially when his large hand his the sensitive curves, the stinging almost unbearable.

❤ Your muscles kept clenching, kept tensing, and when he saw the shake of your glutes, his spanks would go harder.

❤ Relentless, back and forth, back and forth, giving you no space to even breathe.

❤ Sometimes he'll let you lay across his lap, your back arched and thighs apart, having you wearing nothing but your socks as he punishes you with rough smacks. From his angle he can perfectly capture both cheeks at the same time, giving your body both a cold shock and an aroused hotness. His fingers will be spread, covering ass much of your skin as he can.

❤ "How gorgeous you are," he'll whisper, more at you than him. You can hear how out of breath he is, desperate to be inside of you. "How beautiful, how perfect."

#korekiyo shinguuji #korekiyo shinguji #korekiyo shinguji x reader #danganronpa #danganronpa x reader #x reader

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wishful-seeker · 2 months ago

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I am okay with the suffering from my life. My disease is considered "the most painful disease known to man" and has the potential of being "worse" than amputation, childbirth, and cancer pain. Take that information with a grain of salt because suffering is not a contest and i will never know another persons pain, i just said it at a frame of reference. A lot of people say to me "man, what did you do to deserve that?" And for a long time i asked that too. But i realized its not a punishment. I'm okay. My life is incredibly hard, but even though this is a progressive disease, with a high probability of it getting worse and worse until i die 60 years from now, im okay. Because i know that things are constantly changing. I know i don't know what tomorrow will be like. And even if its worse, its DIFFERENT, and as long as i have a chance at a good day, im okay. Maybe I'll get better and reach remission, maybe i wont. Even if i do it'll probably come back one day. I have it forever, there is no cure. It will always affect me in some way. But i still have the potential to enjoy myself tomorrow, i still have the potential to live fully some days.

I remember when it was at it worse, around the 3 to 4 year mark, i would literally only have a few seconds/minutes of pain free time a day. The wave of relief would hit me, it was overwhelming. I'd think "ok Wish, this is the moment you live for. Take it in." And I'd soak it up as much as possible thinking "it may be weeks, months before you feel this feeling again, but it WILL come, all you have to do it make it there." And then it would go away, and i was suffering again. But i literally lived for that moment. And now that moment comes more and more often.

I am okay because i don't know tomorrow.

#cripplepunk #physical disability #disabled #disability #chronic pain

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no-m4gic · 2 years ago

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Hi! I'm the anom who asked for the autistic reader and I loved your writing! So may I request the same THH characters but with a reader who's try to be the sunshine in their lives (example: help Chihiro to be himself), but is secretly depressed and hide It from them cause reader doesn't want to seem fragile?

Sorry If Is complex XD thx!

i have limited free time so i know im probably never gonna complete (another) request(s) today. also i discovered i have no idea how to write for hifumi and yasuhiro, so i'm gonna blacklist them and replace them with mukuro. felt like this request seemed like a good prompt for nagito and also i feel like i could replace ishimaru's one with komaeda's as an apology.

sorry if you wanted the girls too, i'll get on them as soon as i finish my work- i didn't have enough time to write for them. i'll write for ishimaru, too. sorry for missing a lot of characters!

p.s thanks guys for your support !! i appreciate it sm <33

that's a long title 😨

the tags are such a PAIN

~ mod sitaya

THH CHARACTERS W/ AN S/O WHO IS THEIR SUNSHINE BUT IS SECRETLY DEPRESSED

BYAKUYA TOGAMI

"damnit s/o, why didn't you tell me earlier? you know i wouldn't judge you."

money = happiness to him, so he wouldn't fully understand your pain. he'll still support you though, if you need anything he'll send one of his workers to get it for you.

i mean if you were gone, yeah, he'd definitely be upset, so whenever he couldn't understand, he'll just imagine how he'll be like if you died or something.

he'll hire a personal therapist for you, unless you want him to be your therapist... which trust me, he is not good at.

bro can't even comfort anyone without making them cry more.

since he can't comfort someone psychologically, he'll comfort them physically, though he'll only show displays of affection at home or when you guys are alone, n e v e r in public.

honestly at this point, he won't give a shit if you stain his rich people clothes with your tears, he can buy the same new clothes again.

he's not that desperate, but can you imagine byakuya singing his s/o a lullaby?

not really, but he'll tuck you into bed himself personally if you fall asleep while sobbing your eyes out.

if you don't, he'll ask if you wanna fly out of japan for awhile, on his rich people private jet.

it's the least he could do to repay you for helping him during his dark times.

MAKOTO NAEGI

"s/o. how could you hide this from me? did you think i was going to criticize you...?"

he wouldn't ask the million questions running through his head first, he'd hold you first.

you come before anything.

he'll hold you for as long as you'd like, letting you cry in his shoulder while he rubs your back and pats your head.

since you helped him show the others he isn't an 'omega male' and also chased everyone who bullied him away, he'll return the favor.

he'll tell the teacher that you weren't feeling well and needed some time to rest in your room.

also he'll bring you your homework so you don't have to get it yourself and do tons of paperwork at once after coming back.

you don't need a therapist, you have naegi tell them as your therapist.

he'll listen to you go on for the entire day, and if you need to break down, you can jump into his arms and break down, using his shirt as a handkerchief.

MONDO OOWADA

"damnit... who did this s/o?!"

honestly he might just break down too.

but then he'll tell himself he's gotta be a man, with balls in front of his s/o.

he'll put his coat around you and hug you, telling you that it's alright and you can let everything out.

you can take that in any way.

he feels really guilty whenever he has to leave you for training or a competition.

but he'll always come back with a gift and your favorite takeout.

if you ever wanna cuddle, go find him. he'll be more than happy to have a reason to hold you.

daily compliments whenever you two meet up.

CHIHIRO FUJISAKI

"s/o, it's okay. you're not hopeless, you're filled with hope, you still have so much more potential,"

he'll offer to accompany you to do some activities to keep your mind distracted and also to cheer you up.

something maybe like styling your hair and making it look ridiculous by putting tons of bright, glittery accessories on your hair.

he'd ask if sharing his own insecurities would help, maybe just so you know he has other countless insecurities than just him fearing showing the others he's a guy.

if making your hair look worse than junko's didn't cheer you up, chihiro would make up some stupid games like hop like a bunny into mondo's room or sing one of sayaka's songs outside makoto's room while he's showering.

speaking of sayaka's songs, he'll blast all her upbeat pop songs in the room and you two can dance your heart out.

LEON KUWATA

"i figured. now come here i'm gonna cuddle your sadness away!"

leon would definitely try to remain positive

the only good side would be that he could skip his daily weekday baseball training, since y'know he likes hates baseball.

but no, really, he'd have NO idea on how to comfort someone properly.

he'd ask what he could do to make you feel better.

as well as bring you out to get ice cream.

while you guys are out you may or may not encounter celestia's cat wandering around aimlessly... and bring it back to leon's room.

obviously you guys return her, maybe style her a little, watch leon get scratched by her and so on.

overall at least you recovered quickly and now everyone can see you smile again <3

BONUS ;; NAGITO KOMAEDA

NAGITO KOMAEDA

"oh s/o. you didn't have to hide it from me, hopeless trash like me don't have the right to judge hopeful people like you,"

well now it was his turn to have his clothes stained with tears.

countless outfits of yours have been stained with his tears, because whenever you'd return late (which was always) he'd think you left him or something, and the closest thing he has to you are your clothes.

he's clingy.

and he'll become clingier.

everywhere you go he'll follow you like a lost puppy.

lost puppy literally. he won't just follow you, he'll beg for your attention.

anyway... back to you, once you even mention you were upset he'd pull you into a tight hug.

imagine how long that tight hug would be with depressed.

verrrrrry verrry long.

he'd wish he didn't have to let go of you.

and he wouldn't. you'd have to literally wait for him to fall asleep just to work your way out his arms.

he'll shower you in compliments and bless you with encouragements.

if you wanted he could ask gundham for a cat or dog or something, or he'd blackmail gundham just to "borrow" the four dark devas of destruction for like 10 minutes before giving them back even though nagito would lie and say they'd forever be gone.

you want, he buy. literally, you just have to say "i want this" and you'll have it.

no more despair only hope.

IM SORRY ITS MISSING SO MANY CHARACTERS ANON 😭

#byakuya togami x reader #byakuya x reader #togami x reader #makoto naegi x reader #makoto x reader #ishimaru x reader #mondo owada x reader #mondo x reader #chihiro fujisaki x reader #chihiro x reader #leon kuwata x reader #kuwata x reader #nagito komaeda x reader #nagito x reader #komaeda x reader

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fatherramiro · 20 days ago

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so the thing about 1899's overarching themes first and foremost is that we don't know fully what they would've been, given that we got 1/3 of the story before cancelation. the other thing is i think a lot of the show would've revolved around the concept of how trauma freezes someone in a moment, and how in order to fully free themselves from the cycles they find themselves in, these characters need to let go and heal from/grow past their respective traumas.

in episode two, eyk tells maura, after asking if she's ever lost someone, that when someone you love dies "they can move on, you're stuck." if we break down the individual stories of the characters on the ship, they are all stuck in moments of trauma. jérôme is there because he cannot forgive lucien's betrayal. similarly, olek is there because he's seeking revenge after a vicious betrayal as well. ramiro and ángel are fleeing persecution and abuse that culminated in ramiro having to kill someone to protect them both. ling yi is racked with guilt over accidentally killing someone in her attempt to find something better. tove's family is frozen in a moment of extreme violence and trauma (and, depending on the timeline, iben's descent into religious fervor could've started from a traumatic event even before that.) eyk drinks to cope with the traumatic loss of his entire family. everyone is stuck in their worst selves as a result of these traumatic events. everyone is struggling to move forward. they're all stuck in these memories, as well as stuck literally in an eight day time loop where they will never get the chance to fully heal because they'll all die before that's possible.

and of course there's daniel, stuck in a loop because he can't let go of his wife and willingly subjecting himself to the pain of losing her over and over in an attempt to change what's happening. elliot is a literal ghost in the machine because his mom couldn't let go of him. maura describes henry as being incapable of letting go of his wife, and what little we know of ciaran is that he's angry that he was passed over for his sister. and of course maura -- the architect of the simulation, who cannot let go of her pain so she wanted to forget instead. this is a show where pain is written into every code in the simulation, and until daniel wakes maura up, that is just inescapable for everyone. maura is now left to face reality, a reality in which we don't know if her son is alive or the status of her husband. but she's now tasked with fixing the situation she created as a result of being unable to move past her own grief and her own pain.

the other potential themes of the show -- what makes a person who they are (and if their nature is inescapable), what is fate versus what is choice -- are all tied to this too, because we see moments where the characters are able to confront these demons and show glimpses of who they could be beyond these terrible events. two scenes that i think really illustrate this are the final scenes krester and tove have together in episodes four and five. krester throws tove's trauma back in her face in an ugly manner despite the fact he's the one who refuses to try and heal from what's happened to him (as evidenced by him helping to abduct and murder elliot), while tove is the one who finally says that she's had enough of that and she tries to leave her terrible situation and find a way to resolve the conflict tearing her family apart. krester, unable and unwilling to move on, does not survive much longer; tove makes it to the end of the loop, into the archive, and survives until the simulation is deleted. if tove had stayed with her parents and krester, i don't know if she would've made it that far.

as with all my analysis, there's no easy conclusion given that we simply do not know what would've happened next, but im very confident in saying that a large part of this show, beyond cosmic discussions of science and religion and who created the universe, is about how pain traps us in loops of our own, and that to free ourselves we need to confront our pain and our trauma. obviously, the show would've likely had a bittersweet read on that, but this is one thing im fairly confident in discussing about the series.

#1899 #1899 netflix #listen i know a lot of genre stuff is About Trauma nowadays #but this is one of the better explorations of it like yes grief and pain are time loops!!!#you either learn to live with it or you stay stuck in it forever there are no other options

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jacenotjason · 3 months ago

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OK this will be an extremely long ask i am sorry. i love radford

i havent sent an ask to people in years but i am one of the radford fans of all time and demonic possession is a fun concept to me, so the idea of gadreel possessing him specifically makes me INSANE

i just think itd work extremely well. radford doesnt take anything seriously and doesnt understand boundaries, but he always puts his concern for others first and his well-being last. he annoys father gregor and compares him to priests hes seen in the movies, and he does spray holy water + offer free candy against kevins wishes, but he also warns rick about the trouble he could get himself into when not giving the right movie tickets, and helps kevin with his job with no pay in mind. hes annoying, but his heart is in the right place

but gadreel is the Ultimate Prankster. him trying to imitate radford would backfire Hard, because gadreels idea of fun is,, More Extreme. he allows kids to enter adult films, he steals candy and says its fine since hes friends with kevin, he tells his friends and brother to break the rules and disrespect authority, etc etc. im unsure what gadreels motives are other than to ruin everyones day, but hes doing a damn good job at it. all the blame is going to radford, and honestly, its just So Easy to blame him for it

i imagine it takes a while for most people to figure out that somethings wrong with radford. he does what he wants freely, wherever and whenever, so these mistakes could be rationalized by him having an off-day. i assume rad would look extremely tired after a days long session of gadreel torturing him (because he loves pushing the human body. bill cipher behavior). but i think what makes everyone truly concerned is when "radford" starts involving Others in his antics

it isnt like rad to encourage bad behavior. he would never tell rick to swap the prices of two items at his new job, or tell robert the best blind spots to steal from stores, or forcing kevin to take his anger out on someones property. the radford everyone knows is ditzy, but kindhearted. if theres trouble, radford would be the only perpetrator

and god, imagine how much worse it gets if "radford" gets in trouble with the police. john would be frustrated seeing his own nephew be so careless and cruel all of a sudden. itd probably even make him spiral and assume the cult had something to do with it, and that john and his family arent safe like he thought. and i think gadreel relishes in that knowledge

im also so curious as to how gadreel and radford met and how long the possession lasted, maybe it was a week? in my head, he came to radford in the form of a snake before revealing his true self and attacking, leaving no time for rad to fully process it and run away. i also assume skid and pump will have some involvement, and pumps eyes turning blue will be a clear sign that "radford" is associated with a demonic entity, or Is one. either way i love gadreels character being a "twisted" version of radfords if that makes sense

so um ya sorry for the longest ask ever. heres a drawing

OPOOOHMYGOHMOSIEJHIOSRHGIUSADHRUITGHSDUIGSDB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!??!?!?!?!? FUCK OK OKAYAKOAJTYAOKATY THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS SO COOL

THANK YOU FOR THE DRAWING, EATING IT, YOUR POINTS ARE ALL CORRECT

Unlike Moloch whose possessions are more brutal and obvious, Gadreel hides and youre so right! Hes here for the long haul babey!!

yes i imagine the possession lasted about a week, week and a half. Gadreel can't feel pain (at least Radfords pain i mean, he has a higher pain tolerance, as a demon yknow) so he could very well accidentally snap a bone as Radford and not even notice. What im saying is Rad is hospitalized afterwards

AUGHHH the police thing. Gadreel sees the cops and WANTS to get caught by them, just for goofs. in a "Oh what would happen if i did this :)" way.

GOD THIS IS SO COOL YOURE LITERALLY THE BEST

OH!! AND ON THE SUBJECT OF HOW RAD AND GADREEL MET !!

Instead of possessing Patty in the morgue, Gadreel took the form of a snake and.... left lmao. or got noticed and thrown out bc oh my god a snake

he ended up near the candyclub and radford was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Gadreel saw Radford as a hiding place and a means to have fun.

I imagine Moloch doesnt care about what his vessels look like, meanwhile Gadreel won't possess someone if he thinks theyre lame. like yeah he couldve possessed patty but then he would've had to.... do stuff. eugh. This guy looked WAY more fun.

im actually vibrating yourel iterally the coolest dawg.

#RAMBLES FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY SOUL.#saving #spooky month #radford spooky month #spooky month radford #gadreel spooky month #spooky month gadreel

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kissesazula · 3 months ago

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BACK TO THE OLD HOUSE

— g.satoru

| sum: satorus never liked being home. he hates the word home and everything to do with it. so what are the chances that he meets a soft, warm girl who feels like the home he’s dreamt of having.

an: hi guys! this is my first ever post! wooooo!!! any tips and recommendations on how to look more aesthetically pleasing and writing would help great! i think this is what people call a one shot?? idk :( enjoy<3

finding himself at the dawn of the day, sweeping tides brushing against his ears as he walked barefoot in the chilly water of the ocean, finding himself bored as he had escaped the estate.

they weren’t living his life, as a teenage he should be careless and free, right? wrong. his elders thought otherwise and forced him to train to be the next heir to the family name, having a huge name in japan and a reputation to behold. it didn’t help how he was an only child with no cousins so they couldn’t take the position of heir because they were nonexistent. oh how he prayed to anyone everyday that he wishes that he could escape this heinous family, wondering what horrible thing he did in his past life to get set up with a family this bad.

strolling down the beach in only a white tee and shorts, airpods plugged into his ears and blasting ‘heaven knows im miserable now’ by the smiths. sand getting in between his toes while the water tried cleaning it away, his pearly white hair drooping down his forehead as he looked down.

i would rather not go

he simply mumbled along with the song, looking up and seeing the sunrise, seeing how long he’s been out for, wondering if his ‘family’ were already out looking for him.

back to the old house

“augh!” he slightly jumped as his chest had bumped into someone’s head, feeling the cold contact of their hair brushing against his thin t-shirt. groaning in slight pain but more of annoyance as he looked down. “hey look where you’re-“ and meeting the set of 2 wide eyes starring back at him, scared.

“ oh my gosh— im so sorry!” the person underneath him panicked, immediately taking some steps back and bowing in front of him. a girl, young and frail, big deer eyes and plump lips, slight freckles, long hair with and oversized jacket, t-shirt and pj pants. “o-oh it’s fine! it was my fault anyways..”

he slowly turned shy as she raised herself from bowing before him. noticing the glasses on his face even though it was sunrise and the sun was barely out. “sunglasses? this early?” she questioned confused and innocently, tilting her head as he looked in between his eyes.

“fashion statement.” he cracked a joke, expecting a slight chuckle out of her, but instead he got a high pitched giggle, that eventually turned into a laughter burst. putting her hand on her stomach as she bent her back over in laughter. satoru was confused, was the joke that funny? no he was just a funny guy. “oh you’re so funny!” the girl slowed her laughter down, wiping the small tears that ran down her face.

“im (name)! nice to meet you!” she smiled softly as she extended a hand out for a shake. satoru chuckling at her bubbly personality as he took her hand and bent down, bringing her hand to his pink cold lips as he planted soft kisses on her hand. “satoru. glad to meet you.” now satoru was certain that she would start blushing into a total mess, but instead she giggled at him and questioned his gesture. "youre so old!" she laughed as she put her hand back to her side.

satoru looked at her in disbelief, like he was actually insulted. “what?! im only 17!” he pouted, lips turning into a frown as he crossed his arms and looked to the side, seeing that the sun was almost fully up. hearing her coo from right beside him. “17?! no way! you look at least 22! im 17 too” she said surprised as she covered her mouth with her hands. satorus neck quickly turning to her at her comment, with a stunned expression, did she just call him old?

there’s too many memories

he looks offended by her comment, scoffing as he rolls his eyes playfully under his sunglasses. “thanks sweet heart but im not. got a mouth on ya.” chuckling, her pupil only grow larger with every word that comes out of his mouth, mesmerized by his face, laughter, personality, smile— just everything in general had her on a tight rope.

“well, what are you doing out so early?” he ponders, even though it’s none of his business nor that he should care, but he does, he does care because there’s something about her that’s just so… warm.

“shouldn’t i be asking you that as well?” she giggles, bringing her hand to cover her smile. “im joking, i just needed time away from my boyfriend….. a lot of time. being a real-“ stopping her sentence midway as she looks around her, scouting her surroundings. “asshole..” she mumbles the last part out, afraid that her boyfriend would be nearby looking for her. satoru can’t help but laugh. painfully laughing and happily laughing, she has a boyfriend and she was funny.

“needed my personal time.” he looks to the ocean, seeing the full risen sun as she panics in place. “o-oh! im so sorry for disturbing you then! i-ill get going..!” she quickly spits out, words confusing satoru, she wasn’t being a bother? he knew he couldn’t stop her, her boyfriend was probably looking for her by now, but he wanted her so bad, to be friends with.

“wait! could i get your number? n-no not like that! to be friends.” embarrassed by the thought, he clarifies himself before anything else could be said. she smiles briefly before pulling her phone out and handing it to satoru, who gladly puts email, phone number, birthday, and a contact photo and name. handing back the phone to her, watching her lips curl into a cute

and you never knew

“well, I’ll see you soon, satoru.” she says her goodbyes before quickly running off back to the parking lot, watching her hop onto her pink bike and ride away. he smiled as she turned her head around and waved back to satoru, waving back to her.

there was something so alluring about her, she was so… interesting. maybe it was the way she smelled, her voice? personality? face? he doesn’t know. wether it was one of those, he wanted to grow closer to her and build a bond. maybe even be her boyfriend— no that was a stretch, she already had one, but he seemed like a total dick with the tiny bit of information she told. loving how it didn’t bother her to keep smiling through, he craved that as a person. yes, he could smile too, but it wouldn’t be a genuine smile like hers, no hers was real, it felt real. she felt like something he’s craved for a long time, home.

how much i really liked you.

#artists on tumblr #gojo x you #gojo satoru #jjk fluff #cute #angst #gojo smut #jjk gojo #jjk fanfic #divider by v6que

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monosanimegenericzone · 3 months ago

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yknow what fuck it.

manga speculation time as the october release draws ever closer.

but read it how you want bcs this can be taken in or out of its context.

who can actually handle hisoka in the instance of a 1v1 in the phantom troupe.

hisoka knows the abilities of 7-8 members of the troupe by the time they part ways in yorknew city. four of which are already dead so he knows at least 4 more. information to hisoka is basically like an instant win unless you discombobulate him enough with overcomplicated strategy like Chrollo did.

the only four safe from hisoka's intel are: Bonolenov, Nobunaga*, Kalluto, Feitan.

*Nobunaga is a question mark because we dont know if he has a fully realized hatsu or not. and if he does we dont know if hisoka knows about it or not.

so in order:

Chrollo: YES, I think Chrollo is in more than a good enough position to kill hisoka for a second time. with Contagian running wild and so many assorted nen abilities to choose from, he technically has enough bandwidth to limitless nen abilities. will he do so while hunting for hisoka? that depends on if he gets in contact with team phinks or not. but i think he has a good shot of a round two.

Nobunaga: MAYBE, i think nobunaga is the only one in possession of an ability to cut bungee gum, but i only say that because we've never actually seen anything attempt to cut bungee gum. if he can't then he's most likely fucked XD. this also depends on if he has a hatsu or not because as it stands right now, he's very much not ready for this fight.

Feitan: YES, i think its very likely at least. it's not gray enough to be a maybe, but it's leaning towards the very likely. he just has to endure at least one blow from hisoka and its basically over. but even base feitan has a good shot. he has several tricks in his funky lil umbrella that i doubt hisoka knows about and a lot of speed. on top of all that. there are higher forms of pain packer that hisoka is more than capable of unleashing if he decides to play with his food.

I WANT THAT BOAT OBLITERATED BY A NEUTRON STAR. FORGIVE ME BUT I WANT TO FUCKING SEE IT.

Machi: MAYBE, this one i cant be sure about. hisoka is aware of machi's abilities just as much as she is aware of his. It'll come down to what each has prepared for the other and their respective reaction times. personally im rooting for machi in this fight but who knows.

Kalluto: NO, as he is right now, that's a no if hisoka genuinely tried to kill him. he has a get out of jail free card with Illumi being on the team, but with the way hisoka is right now who knows how much value that has.

Phinks: MAYBE, hisoka knows about kaiten, which is a huge disadvantage for phinks. however, phinks can easily get on par with blows equal to uvo if he has enough set up time. which he may or may not get in this hypothetical. hisoka might just straight up rip his arm off which- who knows if that will actually stop him- is Not Good(tm)

Shalnark: YES, honorable mention because i will not let him go. im coping so hard. Autopilot shal has a good shot, it just might end up with both of them dead instead of just one.

Franklin: NO, with his current set up no. unfortunately guns and long range aren't a good counter to hisoka unless theyve got a hell of a lot of power behind it

Shizuku: NO, shizuku herself said it, i dont gotta say shit. but also yes, she'd have to use gyo through the entire fight just to make sure she isn't grabbed and she'd be stuck on the defensive. Unless he bleeds, then she can stay at maximum range and vampire drain him. but he has a hard counter to that so yeah shizuku solo is very much fucked.

Bonolenov: YES, i disagree with bono on his self analysis. Battle Cantabile is a nen ability i haven't talked about much because it's 100% speculation on my end. but as a music nerd i just have to put this here: i think jupiter is part of a suite.* Therefore, i think bono has seven planets at his disposal and i will elaborate more in another post. that and hisoka doesn't know about his abilities, so he has extra upper hand.

*suite being a form of music composure of multiple movements, usually led with a prologue

I REPEAT. I WANT TO SEE THAT BOAT GO D O W N. I WANT IT SUNK I WANT THAT THING EXPLODED SO BADLY.

Illumi: YES, just because hisoka wants to fight him. illumi is a wild card so i cant say for sure. in a 100% all out fight, they have enough knowledge about each other to understand how each other work.

thats my two cents anyway. in the situation they're in right now, its impossible to tell who would win purely because of the number of eyes on any number of them, therefore a fair 1v1 is out of the question.

i enjoy thinking about these funky fellas and please im coping so hard before togashi inevitably rips my soul to pieces.

#hxh #phantom troupe #speculation #i want that whale obliterated

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millersdjarin · 2 years ago

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I Only See Daylight

Chapter Five

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader

Rating: E (eventually)

Chapter warnings/tags: slow burn, dad!din, bonding, flirting, injuries (not in detail), negative self-talk, mentions of past trauma/abuse, teasing

Chapter Length: 5.5k

Previous Chapter | Fic Masterlist | Full Masterlist

notes: mando's new ship is basically just a bigger version of the razor crest. im not even sorry for this lack of imagination. :)

i don't wanna think of anything else now that i thought of you

Mando’s cooking left you feeling warm, full, and…taken care of.

He had, of course, cooked for you while you were in the cave, made sure you had enough to eat. But all you had was meat and rations. Here, at your hut, he found ingredients to make a proper stew, and spent a couple of hours at your stove. It was hard not to watch him in his silent concentration.

He could have left by now. He’s got what he needed from all this, and you’re safe in your home, recovering well from your injuries. He could just take his ship, fly to the other side of the planet, and never think of you again.

But after you and the kid ate—kriff, it was good—he sat at the outside table opposite you, and said, “I think I’ll head out in the morning. If that’s alright with you.”

You’d swallowed a gulp of water, nodded. “Yeah. That’s fine by me.” You thought of your spare tent, much smaller than the one the storm had shredded. Then you thought of the empty space on the floor inside the hut, how it’s just the perfect size for two sleeping mats. “You can sleep in the hut. If you’re comfortable with that.”

He’d hesitated, but nodded. “Thank you.”

So now here you are, long before the sun will rise, just watching him. He’s asleep, you assume, his chest rising and falling evenly. The kid is tucked in beside him beneath the blanket, and it’s so kriffing cute, his little eyes fully closed, ears twitching in his sleep. One of his fingers is wrapped around Mando’s hand, holding him close.

Not for the first time, you wonder about their story. How they found each other, and how they became so close.

You don’t sleep. Just doze on and off, at best. There’s a painful dread stirring deep in your belly, spreading to your chest, under your ribcage. You try with all your might to squash it down, to fight it with logic, with the knowledge that you shouldn’t care that you’ll be alone again in a few hours—in fact, you should be happy about that—and that wanting them to stick around is not only stupid and naive, but also selfish.

It’s just, they’re the first people to ever make you feel…safe. Accepted. Free to just be.

You never though you’d find that. Hell, you thought you’d spend the rest of your days here alone, not a soul in sight.

And now that it’s coming to an end, you can’t help the anxiety nibbling through your defences. The wall you’ve built around your heart, around this life of solitude. And you know it’s stupid not just because of all that, not just because growing attached is a surefire way to get hurt; but it’s also stupid because Mando was always going to be here only temporarily. You were just supposed to help him get off-world. Go on a hike. Do a good thing.

It’s turned into more, and you shouldn’t have let it.

So, above all else, the only thing you can do now is to not let it show.

When the sun rises, Mando stirs. You’re in the kitchen making two cups of caf, and before you turn to look at him, you hear him yawning. It comes out all funny through the helmet, of course, but it’s still endearing.

While Mando eats and drinks outside, you pack up a little parcel of berries and herbs that you found on your hike, wrapping it in some old paper and securing it with a string. The kid helps, although mostly he just steals berries when he thinks you’re not looking. You slip in a little gift, too, to remember you by; a piece of the tent that was shredded during the storm. It’s a joke, really, just something to get him to laugh. Because you’ve only heard that a few times, but it’s so lovely.

Except, of course, you won’t be there when he opens this package, when he laughs.

You’re trying not to think about the fact that they’re leaving. That you’re not just going to miss Mando, but the kid, too. If someone had told you a week ago that there would be a bounty hunter with a child that you’d somehow form an attachment to, you’d have laughed in their face.

“For your travels,” you say to Mando, handing him the parcel. You let your hands linger on his, feeling the leather beneath your palms, somehow becoming a familiar feeling.

He looks at the package, then to you. “You didn’t have to…”

“I wanted to,” you interrupt with a smile. Slowly, you pull your hands away. He twitches his towards you, like he wants to follow them, but holds himself back. “So, I guess you’re on your way, then?”

Wordless at first, he nods.

You feel something tugging at your leg. Little arms wrapped around your good calf. Looking down, Grogu is there, staring up at you with wide eyes, ears turned downwards sadly.

As you pick him up, you say to him, “Alright, kiddo. I’ve packed some of your favourite berries in there, but you’ve got to let Mando have some as well, alright?”

He tilts his head, listening. Lifts up one of his little hands, and brushes it down your cheek. His face is sad with a tiny extra wrinkle in his forehead. Gently, you take hold of his hand as it falls from your face, and lift it up, giving his knuckles a little peck.

“I’ll miss you too,” you say, smiling. Mando’s eyes are on you; you can feel them. Warming and comforting and uneasy. You look to him, and give a sad smile. “You’ve got the city on your map, right?”

Parcel still in hand, he nods. “Yes. Only thing on this planet.”

“It sure is,” you remember your first conversation with him, when you told him that there was nothing for miles. When you decided to help him. Some kind of melancholy settles in your chest, too far inside for you to push it away. With one last look to the kid, you wait for Mando to put the food package in his satchel before passing Grogu back to him. The kid clings to your arm for as long as he can, then when he’s against Mando’s chest, tucks his head into his cowl.

You just stare at Mando, entirely aware of how absurd this is. How much of a strange image it is, this strong man of metal with a soft little child in his arms. You’ve been with him for almost a week now, and the contrast still isn’t lost on you.

“Take care of yourself,” Mando says into the heavy quiet.

“I will. You, too.”

He nods. Still, he hesitates, not making a move towards the ramp, even though there’s really nothing else to say. You can’t bring yourself to look away, so you just wait. Maybe the longer you’re quiet, the longer he’ll let you stay like this; in this new little world you’ve found yourself in, where suddenly being alone again doesn’t look like any fun.

It startles you just a little when he steps forward. At first, you’re not sure what he’s going to do, but then he holds his hand out for you.

Tentative, you reach out, and accept it. He doesn’t shake it like a greeting or a farewell. He just holds it, holds you, the bare skin of your palms separated only by his gloves once again, lingering long enough for you to feel his warmth.

“Ret'urcye mhi,” , he says, ray-toor-shah-me.

It takes a moment for your brain to catch up to the fact that you’re not glitching out; he’s speaking a different language. His voice sounds like poetry in whatever he’s speaking, tongue curling over the words, breath brushing across them like a prayer.

“It’s Mando’a,” he explains at your confused frown, his hand still in yours. “The language of the Mandalorians.”

“You speak that?”

“A little, yes.”

“What does that mean? Ray…tor…me?”

“Ret’urcye mhi,” he corrects gently, giving your hand a squeeze that might be involuntary or purposefully reassuring. “It means goodbye. Or…”

Your eyebrow twitches up hopefully. “…Or?”

“Maybe we’ll meet again.”

A breath escapes your lips, a new feeling sliding in beside the sadness inside you. Something like hope. Reassurance, even, that Mando isn’t the only one hoping that might be true. “Maybe we will,” you breathe, feeling yourself smile.

With one last, lingering squeeze of your hand, he nods once, and pulls away. Some part of you tells you to reach out, pull him back in. The part of you that has already accepted the fact that you like him, and you like his company.

The rest of you, though, pushes it away.

Mando leaves the door open behind him. You stand in the doorway, watching as he walks away, the morning sun glinting off his armour. Grogu is looking over his shoulder at you, reaching out one of his hands like a wave.

You wave back, finding your smile turning teary.

You watch until they’re gone, disappeared into the tree line. Then, you just stay there for a minute, gathering yourself. Coming back to your senses.

It’s quiet. So quiet.

The smells and sounds are back to normal. No more burning engine oil, no more clinking of Mandalorian armour or cooing of little green Grogus. Just the forest around you, the distant trickling of the creek.

You used to like it. Solitude. You never thought it would take just one person and his son to change that. But maybe that’s just it; maybe it’s that they’re the first decent people you’ve ever met, and that is drawing you in, making you vulnerable. Maybe you’re just being naive, foolish.

That’s why you’re here in the first place.

But, Kriff. In the distance, you see the glint of sun as it reflects off of his ship lifting into the air. You only just see it by the time it’s high enough above the horizon, a tiny silver dot getting further away.

You close your eyes. So much, you wish that could be you. Leaving. Being free. Choosing where to go, instead of being stuck somewhere just because it’s safe.

The idea only makes a little bit of sense, when Din thinks about it. When he rationalises it.

Having someone else along with him for a little while might not be such a bad thing. It’s been him and Grogu for so long, but they’ve been thrown around from place to place and fight to fight for most of their time together that they’ve never really settled into a routine. At least, not one that couldn’t stand to be changed.

The ship is bigger now; an extra pair of adult hands could be helpful around here.

And he hates to admit it, but it can get pretty lonely. At night, when the kid is asleep and everything in the ship is quiet, Din used to appreciate just having the silence to himself. The space to think, to meditate, to consider his next move.

But things feel different now.

Somehow, after the last week, everything feels different. After you.

So, once the hyperdrive has been fixed—for an extortionate amount of money, too; trust a backwater planet with only one city to charge that much, because they’ve got you right where they want you—he could just leave the planet’s atmosphere, go back out into the endless Galaxy and find his next bounty. Earn money, keep them under the radar. There are still bounties on him and Grogu; at least, there are stragglers who haven’t quite got word yet that the Imps who wanted the kid are long gone. There’s no one to pay the bounty, but they don’t know that. So Din knows they still have to lay low, stay moving.

He could just do that. Just him and the kid.

But he can’t stop thinking about your eyes, every time he told you about a distant world. Every time you asked to hear about one. The way you’d confessed into the quiet of the cave that you wanted to see the Galaxy.

He can’t stop thinking about you, period.

It’s a problem. He knows it’s a problem. He’s not blind to the way he feels when he sees you, how it felt the first time he saw the bright orange sun shining on your face, through the wispy strands of your hair in the gentle breeze. When you touched his hand for the first time, just the brush of fingers. When you were injured, and you tried to push him away, to get him to leave you alone when you clearly needed help, he knew what it was he felt in his chest. Right in his very core.

It’s something he’s not felt before.

And it would be fine, except for the fact that it’s not. He knows he can never have that, with anyone. His life just isn’t cut out for something like that. He has the kid, and that’s all he can give.

And he’s still…finding himself again, after everything that happened. After being excommunicated, realising that he was more than his helmet, more than the thin line he constantly had to walk within the Creed between doing what was right and keeping his face hidden. The disillusion with all he’s ever known is still eating away at him.

He doesn’t even know where his heart lies, let alone whether or not it’s strong enough to give to someone. Whether or not he’s strong enough. If you’d even want that.…

He knows there is so much he can’t give you. So much that you deserve.

What he can give you, though, is a way off this planet and into the stars.

So it’s not really because he needs an extra pair of hands. It’s not even because he’s lonely. But that's just the problem: since when has he felt the need to tell himself, or anyone, anything but the blunt truth?

Finding the piece of the shredded tent in the food parcel you made for him is what does it, in the end.

He doesn’t fly away and never look back.

When he climbs into the cockpit for the first time after it’s been fixed, still sitting on the platform at the repair shop, he sets the coordinates for the other side of the planet.

Kriff.

He’s screwed here, isn’t he?

It’s been two days since Mando and Grogu left. It’s been sunny every minute since. Flowers are blooming in the clearing in front of your hut, bright pinks and yellows in tiny little buds. It’s still so quiet, and for a while, you’d been able to convince yourself that you were enjoying it.

But now, with insects dancing in the beams of sunlight cast in front of your home, the silence is deafening. You can’t pretend anymore.

It’s coming up to noon when you hear something strange. You must be hearing things; it can’t be that someone else has crash-landed here. That would be two in one week, which seems pretty impossible. Maybe it’s a nearby shindl making a nest.

Though, it sounds too…mechanical for that. No, it’s definitely the rumble of an engine, the sky too clear for it to be thunder.

Just in case, you head inside, but sit beside the front window, peering out from one of the corners. Your blaster is at your hip, sniper rifle by the door. If it’s another crash, this time the people might not be as nice as Mando was.

Minutes later, you see it.

The familiar flash of beskar in the sunlight. The calm, collected steps he takes, the swing of his arms. The satchel, a tiny green head poking out from the top.

No. You’re imagining things. The poison has come back, and you’re feverish, and delusional.

Except you’re not.

“Mando?” You question to yourself, closing the clasp on your holster before standing up and heading outside. Sure enough, it’s him, striding casually across the grass towards you, the kid cooing happily from his place in the satchel. They stop in front of you, just feet away. “What are you doing here?” You ask, a smile twitching at your lips.

He’s quiet at first, because of course he is. “I brought you some food from a market,” he says, fishing out a canvas bag hanging heavily with produce. “To say thank you.”

You smile and take it from him, brushing your fingers together, definitely on purpose this time. “You didn’t have to do this,” you assure him, but peer inside the bag anyway, finding bright fruits, grains, vegetables, and some circles of cheese. Cheese. Kriff, it’s been a while since you had cheese. Looking up at him with a wide grin, you step closer. “Thank you.”

He nods. The kid distracts you, then, reaching out a hand towards you in the way he does when he wants to hold your finger. Of course you’re unable to resist him; you thought you’d never see either of them again, despite what you may have hoped.

“I have something to ask you,” Mando says.

“Oh?”

“Come with me.”

Your eyes shoot up to him. “That…didn’t sound like a question.”

His helmet tilts. “…Will you come with me.” He rephrases, still not pitching his voice at the end of the sentence like it’s a question, but you can hear the smirk in his voice.

It makes you weak in the knees. You put all your weight onto your good leg, disguising it as resting your bad one. “What are you talking about?”

“You said you wanted to travel,” he says. “I can take you wherever you want to go.”

There’s that warmth again. Right in the centre of your chest. Even if it weren’t for the sincerity in his voice, you would know that his words are genuine; he’s never said something to you that isn’t. “Mando…” you whisper. His offer settles on you, under your skin and into your bones. You wish you could say yes. Wish it was that simple. “I don’t…have anywhere to go, or anything to my name. I can’t…I can’t leave.”

“You can stay with me. With us,” he gestures to the kid, who is still holding one of your fingers in earnest, big eyes staring up at you hopefully.

You gaze into Mando’s visor, wishing you could look into his eyes, search his face. He really means this. He wants you to go with them. To stay with them. And every single inch of you yearns to agree to it. “It’s not that simple,” your voice comes out in a whisper. Tears hang in your throat, sting at the backs of your eyes.

Fuck, you’ve already had to let him walk away once. Now you’re going to have to do it again, and this time, it’ll be after you’ve turned down the best, most sincere offer you’ve ever been given.

“Why not?” Mando asks.

Your chest tightens. As if on instinct, you pull your finger away from the kid’s grasp. “Mando, there’s…” looking away, you shake your head. Images come to mind of the place you were in before here. The place you fought so hard to escape; the people who would still try to find you and bring you back if they ever got the chance. Fuck, you thought Mando had been sent here by them, at first. There’s nothing they won’t do. “There are people…who want to hurt me,” you confess into the breeze, words so small that he might not have even heard them. You cross your arms over your chest, defensive. “I can’t leave. They’ll find me.”

He’s quiet for a moment, considering. His visor is still on you. “I can offer you protection,” he says.

And, Gods.

You have to close your eyes. A painful pang hits your chest. Yearning, the feeling of having something you want so badly so close but yet so far. You’ve felt like this before. For so many years you wanted to escape your family, and it took you your whole life to find the courage to do so.

You don’t doubt that Mando could protect you. Hell, you know no one will mess with you if you’re hanging around with a Mandalorian. At least, not anyone with half a brain.

But this? Leaving this planet, this safe haven that you’ve found and created for yourself, leaving it all behind for the sake of following your dream to see the Galaxy? This might be even scarier than the escape that took you decades to plan.

“You don’t have to say yes,” Mando’s voice comes through the chaos of your thoughts. “I would understand. We don’t know each other well. But I will protect you from whoever it is you need protecting from, and I can bring you back here if and whenever you need.”

“And what if the people who want me are hunting me for good reason? Maybe I’m some ruthless criminal.”

The helmet tilts along with the lilt of a smirk in his voice, “I…doubt that’s true. Whatever it is, I can handle it.”

Without moving your head, you move your eyes from the floor to him, and feel that warmth blooming, a familiar kind of comfort that his presence brings to you settling in. “I can’t tell you about it,” you whisper. “I just…I can’t.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

“But to protect me, don’t you need to know who you might have to fight?”

“…In a sense. But, you know, I could use an extra pair of hands around the ship. You’d be doing me a favour, too.”

You look away again. “Mando…” you sigh. You’ve run out of reasons to say no.

He’s the first person you’ve seen in years, and somehow the first person you’ve ever really trusted. Maybe it’s the kid, maybe it’s his gentle voice and demeanour beneath the armour, maybe it’s how he protected you against the storm, stayed with you when you needed him, patched you up.

Maybe it’s because he’s different to how you thought he’d be.

And maybe that’s more comforting than it is scary.

You look up at him. Bite your bottom lip. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes.”

Of course he is. Look at him: all wide shoulders and casual stance, standing here in front of your home like he’s always been here, like he’s always known you. Staring at you like he can never stop. It’s harder to look away from you.

“Alright,” you decide. It’s too quiet, so you say again, “Alright. I’ll come with you. If—if you’re sure.” Melancholy shifts to make way for a new emotion, something you don’t think you’ve ever felt before. Excitement. Anticipation of something good.

He lets out a breath. You wonder if he’s smiling.

The kid definitely is. He makes a happy shriek, waving his hands about excitedly.

You laugh, reaching out to gently bump his nose with your fingertip. Then you look back to Mando, squinting in the light that’s reflected off of his armour. “Thank you,” you say, so quiet he might not have heard you. “I mean it.”

He nods once. “Take your time getting ready to leave. The ship is just in the nearest clearing. We’ll be waiting for you whenever you’re ready.”

As he walks away, you watch him go, admiring the swing of his hips and arms despite the fact that that should be the last thing on your mind.

Kriff.

I’m leaving. I’m actually leaving.

A stir of panic swirls in your stomach, right in the pit.

You expected that.

It’s okay.

I’m okay.

He presses something into your hand, closing your fingers over it, holding your fist.

“Ret’lini,” he says, rayt-lee-nee through his modulator, close to your face.

“What does that mean?” He lets you go and you open your fist, finding a commlink sitting in your palm.

“Just in case,” he translates.

You look back up at him. “Thank you,” you say, feeling like you’re going to be saying that a lot, and put the link in your pocket.

You’ve only got a small bag of belongings. Just some clothes, some leftover meiloorun, and the necklace you brought with you from your old life that will now come with you into this one. It was from your aunt, the one person you trusted before she passed.

Mando shows you his quarters. They’re down in the hull, tucked behind a door that gives a gentle hiss when it opens and closes, with two bunks, one on top of the other. The bottom one covers most of the width of the room, slightly bigger than a single bunk but smaller than a double. The top one is definitely single, and between them both there’s a hammock made from a mixture of leather and soft fabric, with a little frog toy sitting in it.

The ’fresher is next-door, hidden behind a similar door, just a simple toilet, sink, and an open shower. A shower. It’s been a while.

Then, on the main deck, a small living area with a kitchenette, leading into the cockpit where there are three seats; two up front and one directly behind the copilot chair.

Once you’ve put your bag on your bunk—the top one, where a little light sits on the wall, diffused by a metal sconce—you head into the cockpit, finding Mando in the pilot’s chair, Grogu in the one beside him. Mando is looking at holomaps, twiddling with controls on the panel in front of him and above his head. You wonder what it all does, how well he knows the ship.

“Where are we going first?” You ask, tentatively sitting in the third chair behind Grogu.

“Any requests?”

“Uh…I don’t know much about the Galaxy. Is there anywhere you need to go? Or want to go?”

“There’s a Guild outpost not far from here. I could do with picking up a job.”

“The Bounty Hunters’ Guild?”

“Yes. But if you’re not comfortable with that…”

“You have to make your money somehow,” you say. You didn’t go into this thinking that Mando would just stop bounty hunting altogether because of you.

He looks back at you, just the side profile of his helmet visible. “It doesn’t bother you?”

“I’ve seen worse,” you say, then wish you hadn’t, and look away. “I don’t want to interrupt your life.”

He looks at you for a minute, then turns away again, pulling up a holomap. “We can go to Nevarro,” he says, pointing at it on the image in front of him, not that that helps your understanding of where the hell it is in the Galaxy. “I’ve got friends there. While I find a suitable job, you could go to the library, think about places you might want to visit. Have a look at some maps.”

He says it like he’s just fine with you rocking up and saying Hey, Mando, take me here. Take me there.

“Do you moonlight as a taxi service?” You tease, throwing a smirk at the back of his head.

He huffs a laugh. “I’ve been known to.”

“Wait, really?” You find yourself laughing. The idea is funny; this scary Mandalorian just ferrying people back and forth. “I don’t believe you.”

“I’ve been roped into it,” he says, sighing dramatically, “not my proudest moment.”

You smile at him, not sure if the fact he can’t see the fondness on your face is a good or bad thing. “So what’s this, then?” You ask, only finding courage because he’s not looking at you. “Am I another one of those shameful moments?” You’re mostly teasing. Mostly. But a part of you genuinely feels guilty for taking him up on his offer, and if he wants to back out, now is the time to do it. You want to give him chance before taking off.

Surprising you, he closes the holomap, and spins his chair to face you fully. You sit back, suddenly overwhelmed by how small this cockpit is, or how small it feels. “You know that’s not what this is,” he says, “…don’t you?”

Nervous, you swallow. “I’m…not used to people helping me just because they…well, why are you helping me?”

He considers this for a moment, his hands splayed on his knees, helmet tilted slightly as he looks at you. “I could use the help,” he answers, though his voice is smaller than usual, no conviction in it.

“So I’m an employee?”

“No,” he answers. He seems flustered, all of a sudden, though you can’t put your finger on what gives you that impression. “It’s not like that.”

You don’t like the strange feeling that’s suddenly settled between you. You want to look into his eyes, read them. Want to understand him and his voice and what he means when he doesn’t say things entirely candidly. So, changing the tone, you give him a smirk, and say, “So you are a taxi service.”

He laughs again, this time a surprised kind of chuckle. “I’m not dropping you off anywhere in particular, so you’re going to rack up quite the fare.”

You smile, and he leans forward. You find yourself leaning forward too, though you don’t know why. “I’ll find some way to pay you,” you say, your voice dropping to a lower tone, going for teasing, but ending up somewhere else, somewhere that you definitely didn’t intend to—

Nope, that came out all wrong, you did not mean it to sound like that—

“I mean—” you stammer, backing up again, “I—didn’t mean…I meant I can find something to give you—I mean—”

The helmet tilts, and you stop talking.

You’ve seen this before. The tilt, the stillness as he just watches you fumble. He knows exactly what you meant in the first place, and is enjoying your floundering.

“I know you’re making fun of me under that helmet,” you frown, folding your arms over your chest. “And it’s rude. Stop it.”

He leans back against his chair, his splayed hands dragging up thighs in a way that is, quite frankly, far too provocative to do in front of a child—“The helmet has its uses,” he says.

You stammer for a response, for some kind of retort. But your cheeks are burning red still from the insinuation that you would pay him with a service and you can’t form a sentence right now.

“You blush a lot,” he says it quietly, like he’s just saying it to himself, or he didn’t mean to say it aloud.

Your brain actually malfunctions.

“I—what?”

He stays still, quiet, stares for just a second longer before he quickly looks away and turns back to his control panel. Like he’s caught himself. Like he definitely didn’t mean to say it. “Nothing. Are you ready to go?”

“I…yes,” you answer. Welcoming the change in topic, you gaze out of the window, at the forest stretching ahead of you, the spring flowers swaying in the breeze. Five years you’ve been here, made a life for yourself. Found a type of peace that you never thought you’d have.

It hasn’t been easy. And it hasn’t been what you would choose, if you’d had another choice. But it’s been your home, and you’re going to miss it.

But it’s time to make a different choice. And you’re okay with that.

“I’m ready,” you say, even though he didn’t ask you again.

He glances back at you, and nods.

“Are you, though? I might be terrible to live with and then you’ll have to drop me back off here in a day’s time,” you tease.

Grogu hops down from his seat and starts to tug at your leg, asking for you to pick him up. As you do, Mando fiddles with switches and dials, and the engines start to power up behind you, roaring to life.

Mando eventually says, “I can find my way back here if you’re trouble.”

You smile at him, getting the kid comfortable in your lap. His tone is teasing, deadpan. You could hear him talk like that for hours and not get bored; banter with him, wondering if he, too, blushes a lot.

Which, come to think of it, is something you’re going to think about a lot. The fact he said that to you. The fact it seemed like he didn’t mean to say that to you.

You distract yourself by watching the world fall around you as the ship lifts off from the ground. The roof of your hut pokes up through the trees, its small clearing coming into view once you’re up in the air. The sky gets nearer, the ground gets further.

You take a deep, controlled breath. That murmuring feeling of panic stirs again, deep in your belly, but now is not the time. Looking away from the window and the closest thing you’ve had to a real home fading beneath you, you look instead at the kid, who is gazing up at you with wide, loving eyes.

“Hey, kid,” you murmur, quiet enough that it’s just between the two of you. He coos back, lifting his finger to brush it down your cheek.

You close your eyes.

Take a deep breath. In, out.

There are so many more stars up here than you ever could have imagined.

notes: as always thank you for being here. all interactions are appreciated, but comments and reblogs especially make me happy and help with my engagement :) posting schedule is mondays and thursdays!

take care of yourself!

taglist:

@toobsessedsstuff @granillx @keepingitlokiii @shoe1412 @kiruoris @quentinor @yourunstablegf @moonknight-s-cumdump @senassn @samanthacookieone @local-fanfic-addict @your-slutty-gf @brilliantopposite187 @whenpugzfly @elsasshole

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin fanfiction #star wars fanfiction #gif cw #my post #my fic: din #i only see daylight #my fic #my fic: mando #mando fic

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alienssstufff · 1 year ago

Note

thoughts on q!dapduo ? (i’ve been thinking about their interactions during the wedding but it can be from any time period on the qsmp)

bro i fucking love dapduo. EVERY universe.

I've already spoken about them before and most definitely after the QSMPdinner event today my dapduo brainrot grows evermore >< You can probs dig for them through either the #dapduo or #stufff rambles tags yourself but here some of the links I'll be looking back on for this: >q!dapduo grieving > the guapoduo wedding arc >q!Slime's identity with Slime and Gegg >q!Quackity's identity and values

Summary of the 28/07/2023 QSMP Election Dinner: Gegg shows up to the venue (removes his armour AND his totems like a fucking idiot sorry im still heartbroken over this) and the remaining candidate members are ambushed by codes pretending to be eggs and Gegg loses his last presidential life. Slime returns as Slime and comes clean to everyone that he was Gegg all along but ElQuackity isn't so sure about this. ElQuackity and Slime have a conversation and (in chat) Slime secretly agrees to help ElQ win the election.

Out of pure impulse, I went and transcribed their whole interaction you can read it HERE

[ ramblings undercut ]

ANYWAY SO very important to know that roles and how they are perceived by others is an integral value to both Quackities' motivations whilst Slime's values are introspective, focusing more on his own identity (Slime/Gegg) rather than the outside. Throughout the entirety of the qsmp timeline, the both of them suffer near the same struggles yet respond to them differently because of their motivations which is why they compliment each other so well.

Q!Dapduo are able to sympathise and find comfort in eachother's pain simply because no one else on the island could ever experience what they're going through... Even if their way of comfort is not healthy.

Even if ElQuackity was m.i.a for a bit, before then he still considers himself close with Slime. ElQuackity learnt the assignment that Quackity was Gegg's father and went with it and most definetly caught feelings (platonic) that resonated when caring for Tilin and the other eggs. They were suffering together.

Cut to the QSMP Dinner where Gegg dies. The sadness ElQuackity felt was genuine yet bittersweet. His best friend, is finally learning to accept all parts of himself - but this is also a big turning point that the relationship dapduo have will never be the same. ElQuackity can no longer use Slime as a support structure (IN the manner that he used to at least) because he's broken free from the role that he's been given while ElQuackity has yet to do the same.

Q: No nononono you're viewing it the wrong way I think there's more to Gegg.

THIS LINE HAS SO MANY FUCKING LAYERS LIKE on one hand ElQuackity obviously is doing copium rn, but in retrospect he does have a point that Slime hasn't fully come to terms that Gegg and Slime are one in the same. They are parts of him and both sides are starting to mesh together and it's Slime's mission to better understand himself.

AND THEN ON A DIFFERENT LAYER, IF WE PIT THIS WITH THE CONVERSATION ELQUACKITY WHISPERS TO SLIME it's also really scary. Yeah he's going to use Slime to win the election, but it's also unconsciously ElQuackity's way in keeping Slime as this emotional support, and whatever this deal insinuates I am SO scared. This idea is also reinforced visually by Slime's body language as he physically backs himself into a corner by ElQuackity as he accepts the deal -- Which makes me think Slime is definitely aware of ElQuackity is trying to do and makes me wonder the reasoning as to why Slime accepts this deal.

One wants to leave but the other doesn't even know they're trapped in this together.

Q!DAPDUO .

#ask stufff #stufff rambles #qsmp spoilers #slimecicle #quackity #dapduo #qsmp #qsmpblr #Got so many feelings for q!dapduo especially I wish people were aware of how impactful their dynamic on eachother are holy shittt

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ophanum · 10 days ago

Note

Hi!! Ahh im so in love with your writing and the ideas you bring, i was wondering if i can request headcanons for jerome valeska x reader where the reader wants a normal life but he doesnt? Im so curious on if he’d come back after dying cause he would miss her or if he would just leave her be as his little sacrifice to her

TATTOO - ! Gotham TV

ft. Jerome Valeska x Fem! Reader

TW: NSFW, non-con (kind of), yandere behaviour, etc.

note: Thank you so much! And thank you for requesting. Actually, that's a mind boggling idea. But I think this could go angsty or a bit disturbing and yandere, knowing Jerome. But you know him, he's kind of unhinged and all the while detached from all his morals.

"No, I don't care about the pain, I'll walk through fire and through rain, just to get closer to you..." - Tattoo by Loreen

Jerome is inherently chaotic, and for him, “normal” is a joke. When the reader talks about wanting stability—an ordinary life, maybe a simple job, or just being free from crime and violence—he finds it almost endearing. Jerome would playfully mock these dreams, often calling them “cute” or “boring,” but he’s secretly fascinated. The idea that someone could desire a life he sees as mundane shows him just how different the two of them really are. It makes him feel like she’s a puzzle he can’t quite solve, a stark contrast to the rest of his wild, unpredictable world.

Yet, despite his mockery, he’d occasionally attempt to see things her way, leading to…

Jerome would never fully commit to a traditional normal life, but he’d play around with the concept, adding his own demented twists. If she wants dinner dates, Jerome would take her to strange, often dangerous places, like an abandoned diner he’s broken into or a rooftop overlooking Gotham where they’re absolutely not supposed to be. If she wants a day off, he might orchestrate a “perfect day” for them…with staged “surprises” like a random heist or a chase from the GCPD just to make things more “exciting.”

On some level, Jerome sees himself as a kind of twisted showman for her, giving her thrills she’d never get from a normal life. While he may call these attempts at normalcy “experiments,” he’s secretly doing them to see if he can fit into her world, if only for a fleeting moment.

Jerome is possessive, and he knows that being with him endangers her dream of a peaceful life. There are nights when he watches her sleep and contemplates leaving—telling himself she deserves something better, something he can never give her. He’s tempted to let her go, almost as if sacrificing her to the gods of normalcy, convincing himself that he’s doing it for her own good.

But the idea of her finding happiness without him grates on him. The very thought feels like a betrayal, as if she’d be casting off his memory and leaving him behind. He may tell himself he’ll leave her, but deep down, he knows he can’t. She’s his, even if he can’t give her the life she wants. This internal battle between letting her go and holding on adds to his already volatile mind, often leading to unpredictable, obsessive behavior.

Jerome’s chaotic life catches up to him, and he’s “taken down” in one of his many stunts. He assumes this would be the end of his hold over her, a final sacrifice where he convinces himself she’ll have a chance at a peaceful life. But, even in the afterlife, he finds himself restless. The memory of her haunts him, pulling him back. He convinces himself that he’d come back just to check in on her, to see if she’s forgotten him… but once he’s resurrected, his obsession reignites, stronger than ever.

Returning to her isn’t about letting her move on; it’s about reminding her—and himself—that no matter what happens, they’re bound together. When he inevitably reappears at her doorstep, he does so with a crazed grin, thrilled to see the shock and confusion in her eyes, knowing he’s come back to disrupt her once more.

Jerome’s possessiveness knows no bounds. He sees her as his, even if he’s gone for stretches of time, even if she tries to distance herself. In his mind, she is his “little anchor” to the world, grounding him in a twisted sense of reality. This obsession drives him to extremes—showing up unannounced when she least expects it, sabotaging any sense of peace she’s managed to create, just to remind her of his presence.

His love isn’t gentle or considerate; it’s a wildfire that consumes everything in its path. Jerome’s affection is dark, possessive, and chaotic. He wants her with him not out of a need for partnership, but because he feels she belongs to him. Any other version of her life—a life that doesn’t include him—is a personal offense he can’t bear to let stand.

This dynamic turns into a twisted cat-and-mouse game. Jerome convinces himself to leave her, letting her live her “normal” life, but he can’t stay away. After a few weeks or months, he’ll inevitably return, showing up in her life just when she’s settled into some kind of peace. It’s almost as if he waits for her to rebuild before coming back to tear it down. For Jerome, this cycle is exhilarating, the ultimate proof that he has a lasting, unforgettable effect on her life.

This is his way of ensuring she never forgets him, that she’s never truly free. He revels in her frustrated but resigned reactions, savoring every moment when she realizes he’s not gone for good. This endless cycle becomes a sick game for him, where he finds delight in the predictability of her attempts at normalcy—and his ability to destroy it.

Over time, Jerome would taunt her desire for normalcy more openly. He’d say things like, “Normal is for the dead, doll,” or “You’re only alive when I’m around.” He thrives on pushing her to accept his world, to abandon her dreams of a peaceful life. In his twisted view, she doesn’t need normalcy; she needs him.

The tension would eventually escalate until she’s forced to confront the truth: if she stays with him, she’s giving up on a quiet, stable life. Jerome, in turn, finds satisfaction in knowing he’s corrupted that dream for her, leaving her with a sense of belonging to his chaotic world. For him, it’s a victory—a realization that she’s as much a part of his madness as he is hers.

Jerome’s presence is like a virus in her life: no matter how much she tries to cleanse herself of him, he always finds a way back in. He’s a haunting reminder that true normalcy is out of reach. If she’s with him, she’ll never have peace, but he sees it as his gift to her—a life that’s truly, terrifyingly alive.

In the end, Jerome would probably keep playing this game with her indefinitely, relishing every moment he disrupts her peace and binds her further to his world of chaos, one visit at a time.

The night was calm, eerily so, and for once, you felt like you could breathe. It had been months since Jerome’s death—if that was what you could even call it. In Gotham, no one was ever truly gone, but you’d convinced yourself this time was different. This time, he wouldn’t come back.

You’d tried moving on, slowly constructing the quiet, stable life you always dreamed of: simple routines, a cozy apartment, and people who didn’t know you or your past. You’d even picked up a job at a local café, finding comfort in the mundane rhythm of making coffees and exchanging pleasantries. It was the kind of life you’d told him you wanted, but he’d only laughed, brushing it off as childish fantasy.

You convinced yourself he’d left you that night, let you go, a final act of mercy from the chaotic storm that was Jerome Valeska.

Or so you thought.

It was past midnight when you felt it: that familiar weight of being watched, the feeling of a presence just on the edge of your vision. You lay in bed, paralyzed, convincing yourself it was a trick of the mind—a remnant of the past you thought you’d left behind.

Until you heard it. The faint sound of laughter, chilling and unmistakably his. Slowly, you turned, your heart thundering as your eyes adjusted to the darkness. There he was, lounging in the shadows by your window, watching you with that signature, manic grin.

“Well, look at you,” he drawled, amusement gleaming in his eyes. “Little miss grandma, all tucked in her little bed, living her little boring life.”

You sat up, your voice strangled. “You’re… you’re dead. You died.” Your words barely came out as a whisper, half to him and half to yourself.

He laughed—a sound you hadn’t realized you’d missed and feared in equal measure. “Oh, sweetheart, death’s just a setback. You didn’t think I’d leave you, did you?” He stood, stepping out from the shadows, his face illuminated by the moonlight, and you swore he looked even more unhinged, if that were even possible.

“What…what do you want?” you managed, though you already knew the answer. With Jerome, there was always only one answer: you.

“What do I want?” he mused, walking around your room, his fingers trailing along the walls, brushing over the simple decorations, the trinkets of your “new life.” “I missed you, doll. I missed watching you try so hard to be…” He grinned, that wicked, taunting grin. “peaceful.”

You took a shaky breath. “Jerome, please. Just… just let me have this. I’m not asking for much. Just… peace.”

“Peace?” His laugh was sharper this time, mocking. He turned, crossing the room until he was towering over you. “Is that really what you want?” He cocked his head, reaching out to run a gloved finger down your cheek, a tender touch that sent shivers down your spine. “Because I think, deep down, you know that life is boring without me.”

You didn’t answer, couldn’t, because a part of you—the part that had once followed him into the madness—knew he was right. Life was calm, peaceful… and yet there was a restlessness that had never truly left. A part of you that missed the thrill, the danger, the fire in his eyes.

“No,” you whispered, as much to him as to yourself. “I want a life without all this… this insanity. I want to be normal, to live without looking over my shoulder. Remember my dream? A cottage with a fire place?”

Jerome’s eyes softened for a fraction of a second, a flicker of something you could almost call sadness. “Oh, sweetheart, that’s not for you. You’re mine. You know it. I know it.” He leaned in close, his breath warm against your ear. “You’re alive when I’m here. You can lie to yourself, try to play house, but we both know you were never going to be happy without me.”

You shook your head, pulling away, struggling to keep the defiance in your voice. “You can’t just barge back into my life and expect everything to go back to… to that. I wanted a fresh start, a life without you.”

He chuckled, tilting his head. “I know,” he said, sounding almost... proud. “That’s what made it so delicious to ruin it.”

His eyes sparkled, and for a split second, you thought you could see the hint of longing in them—a twisted kind of affection that he’d never dare express in words. His fingers wrapped around your wrist, pulling you close, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“I let you go once, didn’t I?” His voice softened, though his grip was firm, unyielding. “I left you to your cute little life. But then I got to thinking... maybe you didn’t really want it. Maybe you just needed me to remind you of what you’re missing.”

“Jerome, please.” You hated how weak your voice sounded, the way it shook. “You don’t belong in this life. You don’t belong in my life.”

He smirked, unphased, as if he’d heard this all before. “Doll, I belong anywhere I say I belong. And I belong with you.” He took a step back, letting his hands fall to his sides, spreading his arms in a grand, theatrical gesture. “Besides, what fun would it be if I left you alone to fade into mediocrity?”

Your eyes searched his face, looking for anything—anything—that could tell you this was a dream, or that he’d leave again, fade back into the shadows. But you knew, the second he walked back into your life, that he was here to stay. He would haunt every attempt you made at peace, every fleeting moment of normalcy. He was your chaos, and he knew he’d taken a part of you that could never be satisfied without him.

“Jerome,” you said, a pleading edge in your voice, though you knew it was useless. “I don’t want this life with you. I can’t live like this.”

A twisted smile curved his lips. “You can try, doll. But you and I both know that normal was never your destiny. You’re just as sick as I am, deep down, or else you wouldn’t have fallen for me in the first place.” He took a final step toward you, his eyes blazing. “Now, be a good girl and stop fighting what you want.”

You wanted to scream, to shove him away, to deny everything he was saying. But the truth was undeniable: you’d fallen for him, chaos and all. And maybe, just maybe, a part of you had been waiting for this—to feel alive again.

So you surrendered, letting his touch consume you, knowing he’d never truly let you go. Jerome had you, body and soul, inescapable and unforgiving. And no matter how hard you tried, the quiet life you’d built was no match for the storm in his eyes.

NSFW CUT ( hear me out)

Jerome’s hands trailed down your arms, his fingers a stark contrast between soft and unyielding. The air was thick with tension, a silent challenge in his eyes as he held your gaze, daring you to push him away. And maybe you should have. Maybe you should have fought harder for the calm, peaceful life you’d tried to build. But here he was—alive, here, and touching you like he’d never left.

Your heart pounded as he leaned in, his breath ghosting over your lips, his voice a low, dangerous whisper. “I can feel you shiver, doll. You want this—don’t lie to me.” His hand traced the curve of your neck, possessive and rough as he pulled you closer, leaving barely an inch between you. The corners of his mouth curled into that manic grin, an expression you knew all too well, filled with a dark, twisted affection that sent shivers down your spine.

You tried to muster up words of resistance, something to stop the inevitable, but his lips captured yours before you could speak. His kiss was fierce and consuming, a searing claim that left no room for protest. His hands roamed your body, urgent and greedy, as if making up for every second he’d been gone. He pressed you back against the wall, his grip tightening as his mouth trailed down your jaw to your neck, where he nipped at your skin, leaving small marks—a visible reminder that he was here, and that you were his.

“You think you can just live your little life without me?” he murmured against your skin, his voice low and teasing. “Pretend you’re normal? You’re mine, sweetheart. Normal doesn’t exist for us.”

You gasped as he trailed his hand down your side, fingers tracing the fabric of your shirt until he found the hem. He pulled it up, slow enough to watch the anticipation in your eyes, and then tore it off with a grin. “That’s better,” he said, his voice thick with satisfaction as he took in the sight of you.

His hands and mouth were everywhere, unrelenting, taking in every inch of exposed skin like he was starved. He paused, looking up at you with a dark glint in his eye. “Say it. Say you missed me.”

You hesitated, but only for a moment, feeling your defenses crumble under his intense gaze. “I… I missed you.”

His grin widened, triumphant and smug. “Good girl,” he whispered, the praise laced with something darker, a promise that he wasn’t done proving you belonged to him.

He moved with an urgency, his hands exploring, claiming every inch of you as he pressed his body against yours, letting you feel the hard line of his need. His lips found yours again, rougher this time, teeth grazing against your lips as his hands settled on your hips, pulling you flush against him.

Before you knew it, he had you backed up against the bed, his hands firm on your shoulders as he pushed you down. He hovered above you, his eyes raking over your body, taking in every detail. There was no gentleness in his gaze, only hunger, obsession.

“You’re so beautiful like this,” he muttered, his voice a low growl. He kissed his way down your body, taking his time as he left a trail of open-mouthed kisses along your collarbone, down the valley between your breasts, and lower, until his hands slid under your waistband, peeling away the last of the barriers between you.

His eyes glinted as he looked up at you, an almost predatory smile on his face. “You don’t need normal, sweetheart. You need me.”

#Jerome Valeska #jerome valeska x reader #gotham fox #gotham tv

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