#but i think at this point i would have rather just frankensteined fixes on a note-by-note basis

[miodiodavinci]

tormented by demons (← had to redo all the VCs they'd oto'd so far because they miscalculated the base values and has now been stricken by the urge to just hand-stitch all these CVVC samples into plain VCV, as if turning like 80 WAV files into 300 or more six times over is not more work than just oto'ing CVVC)

[strangestcase]

People often say Dr. Jekyll was being more responsible than Frankenstein but was he, really?

When his actions began to turn towards the monstrous (his words not mine), all Jekyll could do was heal those he had hurt, right the wrongs, fix what was broken- all full well knowing that eventually he'd undo that work. Trying to steady himself. Constantly repeating himself I didn't do this I didn't do this I didn't do this even though he knows that's a lie. Reasoning with himself, thinking that it's Hyde's fault alone, as if Hyde wasn't something he had full control over.

He has to pay for his sins, undo his cruelty, but from an outside perspective, he's just a doctor helping others, making sure those victimized by his protégé at least receive a compensation. And he forces himself to partake on this perspective, although he's fully aware it's all his fault.

Sure, he actively attempts to undo the damage done by Hyde, but he does so reflecting his responsibility. Rather than thinking "I did something wrong, but I can make it right again", he thinks "someone did something wrong, someone I have nothing to do with".

Frankenstein at least has a reason to intervene too late, too ineffectually. Adam is his own person, who makes his own choices, and his choice is to hurt people because he was hurt first, even when he's well aware he's just dooming himself further. Victor has no say on who Adam is or what he can do, as much as he would like to. He ran out of choices when he left him to his own devices; no matter how much he insists Adam is his creation, he no longer is that, and, as Adam puts it, being the creator doesn't give Victor any reign over him. Victor can try to help those Adam has hurt, can scramble to prevent more deaths, can feel sorry about himself for not doing more (but what is there to do, anyway?), can feel guilty for being able to stop Adam, but at the end of the day it's not up to him because he has no control over Adam's actions.

Jekyll doesn't get that luxury. He's fully aware of what Hyde does. All the choices are always his, even if it's arguble he doesn't have all that much control over himself as Hyde (no inhibitions and whatnot).

The thing with Frankenstein and Jekyll is that they both have this illusion of control going on. Frankenstein wants to believe that maybe if he had done something about Adam (killing him? educating him? giving him a girlfriend even though that'd be a dangerous gamble?) things would have gone differently, but for as long as Adam is rejected, which is part of the character by that point, he's going to want revenge. That's the issue. Jekyll, on the other hand, wants to believe that what he does as Hyde is not his business, and that if things get too hairy (hah!) he can always quit the serum. It's not that easy, however. His addiction has permanently altered how his mind (soul, spirit, call it whatever) works and now it's it what has a final say on what he does and even who he is.

So no matter what he did, Frankenstein could never prevent all those deaths, that he feels are his fault, and, well, part of the reason Adam is killing people is his fault indeed, but it's Adam, and not Victor, the person that is hurting others. Victor has to watch everything go down and maybe do damage control, but he has very little power over what happens next. No wonder he breaks down so often.

And on the other side of the spectrum, we have Jekyll, who could have prevented all he had done, including the murder, if he had known when to stop (and how could he know, if he's addicted to Hyde? much to think about). It's him the monster that blights his own existence. And, yes, he might patch up someone Hyde beat up, he might pay for something Hyde destroyed- but at the end of the day, there you have him, Hyde himself, thinking "it's not my fault, never my fault" and patting himself in the back for canceling the evil out.

More aware of his monster? Yes, definitely. He is the monster.

More responsible for his monster? Why of course. He is the monster.

A better scientist? He has the credentials and a sense of hygiene.

A better person? Please, don't make me laugh.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s2 ep13: Prototype

A B'Elanna episode, finally! And this one is a good one. B'Elanna gets to show off her softer, nerdier side in this one, when she geeks out over finding a cool robot in space and tries to figure out how to fix it.

The teaser, starting out with a black and white fish eye lens, seeing Voyager from the unseen robot's point of view, is very cool and different. And we start right out with a delightful scene of B'Elanna and Harry being science buddies!! They tease each other!! She calls him Starfleet!! I love!!!

I feel like they presented the robot a little too ominously in some scenes for us to not see a twist coming somewhere, and it does make B'Elanna come off a little more naive than I think she would be. I would also have liked to have had some sort of explanation for why B'Elanna is invested in this robot so much, like just throw in a line where she explains she used to build robots in school or something. But I love how we get to see B'Elanna become this idealistic, excited kid in a candy store when she's in her safe happy place of figuring out an engineering problem just for fun. She's a kind person at heart, and when she doesn't have evidence one way or another, she chooses the optimistic view that the robot is good and deserving of help, which is a lovely side to her character that often gets overlooked. She's just luminous when she's happy, and I love that for her here.

I also love how even though she disagrees with the Captain's decision to bar her from helping the robot create more robots, she accepts it completely, and doesn't even think of disobeying her orders. She really took the lesson from what happened when she last disobeyed an order to heart, and she respects the Captain too much to hurt her by doing it again. That's character growth, baby!

Things take a turn when the robot ends up kidnapping her to force her to make a protoype for more robots. She does it to protect Voyager from being destroyed by the robot ship, but she can't help being swept up in the excitement of figuring it out, which we as the audience do too, until she finally creates one that works, and then the Frankenstein parallels are horrifyingly obvious. The moment when she finds out what she's actually done is a great horror reveal moment, and her turning point in the story; she learns the lesson all scientists need to learn one way or another: that just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should, and that the real-world consequences of scientific discoveries outweigh whatever good intentions their creator might have had. B'Elanna is unequivically on the side of protecting others from harm, and chooses to destroy her creation rather than let it be used to kill. It's a great character moment for her, because it illustrates that she isn't angry and combative sometimes because she's Klingon, she's angry because at heart she's a good person who believes that all people are valuable and important, and she can't stand it when anyone disregards that.

Neelix also gets a nice little scene here, and Tom gets a hero moment when he flies a shuttle through a robot space battle to rescue B'Elanna. (Though what was up with Chakotay being so bitchy to him about it? Tom is volunteering to fly thru enemy fire to rescue your friend, dude! And you're insulting his flying ability by implying that they'll lose the shuttle if he does, and implying that losing a shuttle would be worse than losing him? Wtf Chakotay? Maybe it's meant to illustrate that Chakotay's still upset by the whole Seska thing, but it just felt weird and random.) Janeway and B'Elanna have a lovely talk when she gets back home, and it's a nice little moment of commiseration between two scientists who want to explore and believe in all the possibilities science can offer, while still having to acknowledge that sometimes it can lead down disastrous paths if that curiosity is left unchecked and untempered by caution.

Tl;dr: A great character piece for B'Elanna. Well done, with lots of good bits.

[inkykeiji]

Now I'm worried someone's going to just heal Dabi, all his scars will be undone and he'll finally be "reunited" with his family. Which imo would be so damn lame. I'd honestly rather he died a villain than just be fixed and forgives his shitty father.

i am 100% with you anon!!! honestly, my ideal ending for dabi would’ve been that he + enji both die, at the hands of each other. in my humble opinion, it would’ve been a just ending for them both, and it would’ve continued to reference shelley’s frankenstein quite well.

now, at this point, i just want him to have a mediocre ending. i’m not even asking for a good ending anymore, i’ve kind of given up hope on it (and yet i hope to god hori makes me eat my words and proves me wrong!!!) i just want the ending to his arc and story to be mildly satisfactory. which, to me, would be dabi goes to fucking jail for the rest of his life and is somehow, over SEVERAL years, rehabbed in there (extensive therapy) to the point where he can maybe, somewhat, talk to some of his family (enji not included; i rly rly do think enji should die in this war). that ending i could live with. anything that completely ‘redeems’ or ‘fixes’ him would entirely break his character and render his story meaningless

[tsutsumi-kurose]

WRT how Tsukasa perceives himself (as 'Tsukasa' or the well god) , he introduces himself to Nene in V5 as Tsukasa (Amane's younger brother)... Refers to memories of watching frankenstein as a child in V7 during Hell of Mirrors, and recently has referenced watching Amane attempt to fix the clock during middle school, and talks about having learned Over the Rainbow from his school play. Seems to me like Tsukasa identifies as... Tsukasa? And regularly refers to his past and memories w/o dissonance?

yeah i do love that he is very confident, definitive, and excited about being tsukasa!! and i think the end of the red house arc suggests he has always been tsukasa the whole time, just maybe... tsukasa plus a little more haha, just a little god tagging along!! and ig we can't know at this point what the current situation is there, so i wonder what tsukasa only ever introducing himself as tsukasa indicates about that situation, if anything??

but i agree!! i think it’s really telling that he’s so openly like “hi hello I’m tsukasa” haha, especially in contrast to hanako being so closed lipped about his real name and his past, only referring as tsukasa as his little brother and not naming him for the longest time!

another little interesting thing is that tsukasa doesn't actually introduce himself by name until hanako has said his name out loud… which i'm sure is largely for the narrative/emotional value of the reveal--much more moving if it comes from hanako! but also a fun little detail!

the first time he tells someone who he is, he tells kou that he's a supernatural who grants wishes, so he seems comfortable with the being a supernatural thing, but it's also interesting that he says "i'm a supernatural, i grant wishes for the dead" and not "i'm tsukasa, a supernatural who grants wishes of the dead" etc but then he really excitedly tells nene "i'm tsukasa! i'm amane's twin brother!" like, the tones sound so different to me? the description of himself as a supernatural then saying he grants wishes sounds much more like a description of his job than who he is lol. he's just telling kou his linkedin summary. he's giving him his resume handing him a business card etc meanwhile w nene he smiles so big and gives his name as soon as she refers to him (this of course also relates to the contexts though--kou being w mitsuba, a client you could say, vs nene going on for half an hour about hanako/amane, so, understandable that he would give the answers he does in those contexts)

(also quick side thought... very cute and silly that tsukasa's like, "we're twins!! equals!!" meanwhile hanako's like, "sigh…my younger brother…. so much younger than me... the little baby i murdered…" lol even just that detail i think says a lot about tsukasa's perception of himself and his relation to hanako/amane, what he sees as significant, etc)

i'm really curious about the fact that, while he says he's amane's brother and a supernatural, he never calls himself a yorishiro or refers to the god in any direct way, even after the reveals to the audience, which is really interesting!! but could also mean a lot of different things… maybe he just doesn't want hanako to know that nene knows about the yorishiro thing? maybe he doesn't want nene to know about the god who's potentially just chilling in his chest? or, maybe he doesn't think of those things as himself but rather conditions, things around him, that happened to him?? idk!! we haven't heard any thoughts from him about either of those aspects of his (after)life, so i'm excited to see if he ever comments on either of them!! i'm very curious about what his feelings are about the stuff he doesn’t mention about himself when introducing himself and why it doesn't come up

i mean its gotta come up eventually lol, both things, but i wonder what sort of feelings he has about them… if any?

honestly i do think it would be really funny if the god was still in his chest but tsukasa was just like "i am tsukasa and that's some guy that lives here who i chat with sometimes" and is just super casual about it like "why would i mention them when introducing myself?? they're not me??" and if anyone asks about it it's just sorta like:

lmaooo. but it's also possible there's a different sort of relationship between them, control- and power-wise?? or even just consciousness-wise? idk rn i'm definitely team tsukasa is all there but the god is also there in some sense, the extent of which i can't parse yet… but i agree with you!! i very much think tsukasa is tsukasa and he certainly seems to feel that most strongly, and seems, from what we've seen so far, that it's the only thing he identifies with!! which again i find so interesting considering the characters and audience are so interested in all the ways he is… not not tsukasa, but maybe what he is in addition to being tsukasa? what being tsukasa means? and if he is just like "i'm just tsukasa amane's twin brother who happens to be a supernatural" or in the latest chapter just as "tsukasa" and isn't like, giving himself the title of yorishiro and isn't bringing up the god explicitly in any of his introductions, then does he just view those things as… separate from himself? or more like, fun facts that aren't relevant in introductions lmao… truly i could spiral for hours about this and ultimately i probably won't know until it gets addressed in canon lmao but hey it's fun to spiral about!

[demetrius-haggarty]

Dear Demetrius,

This may be rather forward and possibly mildly impertinent, but I overheard you speaking with William in Potions earlier this week about the state of your broom. Or rather, the lack thereof. If you are open to it, I happen to have a spare that you could have - it's the newest Aeromancer model.

Please consider it a gift for being so lovely to Wren. I heard about your offer to protect her from the mysterious tickler prowling our corridors and your joint efforts in founding a Herbology club, for which I wish you the best of luck. Despite my appreciation for the beauty and ferocity of our many botanical species, I am hopeless at their care.

On second thought, as a fervent Quidditch fan, this gift may bear a somewhat selfish purpose as it would make for some intense matches if you were to play on a better broom against Slytherin. If anyone asks though, it didn’t come from me.

Do let me know what you think.

Allegra

(Just don't ask where she got the broom from. But it's not from any illegal means. At least, not on her part.)

Demetrius had to read this letter trice. The first time he only skimmed it and thought he severely misunderstood its content. The second time his brows furrowed to the point of giving Meech a slight headache. He staggered back and promptly fell onto his own bed. The third time he let out a loud bark of disbelief before he covered his face with a pillow and roared into it.

It takes The Gryffindor a minute or two to calm down. He checks the envelope: Allegra Fenwick? This Slytherin girl that he sees in passing in some classes and who he is just slightly intimidated by because of how indifferent and sarcastic she seems at times? She wants to do... what? Gift a new BROOM? To him?

Meech isn't sure if he should be happy or nervous. Dealings with the Slytherins ought to have consequences, right? Just like those favors William, the Slytherin prefect, is so fond of collecting. Demetrius sighs. Well, he's got nothing to lose. Literally. Garreth and he did not get around to fixing the charms on his Frankenstein of a broom. At this point, he isn't sure they ever will, the other Gryffindor has been rather busy recently.

Meech sighs again, trying to relax his face. How can he of all people judge somebody based on just their behavior and house? Allegra is a Quidditch fan, right? She is friends with Wren. She said nice things about the Shrub Club, too. Upon rereading the letter one more time Meech comes to the conclusion that Allegra is a good person after all. 

--

Allegra,

Thank you for your letter. I am indeed in need of a broom! I've had an accident concerning some... fireplace swallowing up half of my broom in flames and making it very hazardous for me to fly during practice. And since I have no means for the new one, a fellow Gryffindor decided to help me with charms we can put on a broom. I practically put together a broom from two different broken brooms. But Charms is a rather complicated subject... 

Long story short, I have no broom. So if you really are serious about letting me borrow have a broom, just like that, I can never say no. It's not only that Quidditch means a lot to me. I use my broom for all kind of work I am doing back at Hogsmeade and on my grandfather's farmland. Not to mention deliveries. 

I can honestly take any broom, really, it doesn't have to be anything fancy! Let me know if there's anything I can do for you! Any time! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Still unable to believe it,

Demetrius

[this-strange-obsession]

Okay, hot take for my how I’m hoping TGS Jekyll/Hyde’s reveal goes down, if it ever does. Also it’s going to be a long rant that becomes more like word vomit as I go, so preemptive apologies. Strap in.

So, we all know that Frankenstein loves to shit on Jekyll, right? What if when Hyde and Jekyll are revealed to be the same person, Frankie is the first to find out? I feel like most people are wanting Lanyon to be the first to know, and obviously that’d be super interesting to see how he reacts, but for me, it doesn’t feel right. Obviously, I think the boys are really cute, but- and I know I’m going to get hellfire for this one- but I don’t feel like their relationship is as developed as Jekyll’s and Frankenstein’s. This isn’t exactly a critique of the story, I’m actually glad it’s written this way. Henry’s whole problem is that he puts on a big facade, including with Lanyon. I think a lot of it has to do with the amount of respect he holds for him, so he’s afraid of how Lanyon might perceive him if ever he lets that mask slip.

With Frankie, on the other hand, Jekyll respects her somewhat, but mostly gets irritated by her. And we have seen in any instance where they talk one-on-one, Jekyll relaxes his guard, because it doesn’t matter as much to him what she thinks, seeing as she’s made it VERY clear that she sees right through him. That she sees him as a fake puppet to high society, so why would there be any point in continuing to act like a saint?

That being said, the moment Frankenstein first woke up, I was right there with Hyde. I knew I was going to love her character, and was already predicting a sort of tough-love relationship they’d develop. Where Frankie won’t ever fully like Jekyll, but she’ll tolerate, and even occasionally become impressed by him.

There are a lot of complex feelings I think Jekyll has towards her. Obviously, the whole “vying for approval” thing is partly residual from her being his childhood idol and reason for pursuing alchemy and rogue science. I also think it comes from a place of respect. I know I JUST said he doesn’t respect her all too much, but the kind of respect I’m talking about here is different from the surface-level kind. He hates that she sees through him, but it’s also very admirable and refreshing to be talked to normally, seeing as he has to be perfect with everybody else. So it has also kind of developed, oddly enough, into a sort of trust.

So what’s my point? How does any of this relate to the reveal? Well, not only would it be satisfying to see Frankenstein proved wrong once again by Jekyll, but it would make the most sense for the story to use one of it’s famous parallels to show that Jekyll is in dire need of help, and Frankie is his last resort, because he’d rather die than need her help, but he doesn’t have a choice. So I imagine there’s some sort of scenario where the transformations are all out of wack, or in some way, shape, or form, he physically cannot brew himself a potion to change back. I honestly can see it either way, but feel like it’d actually be Hyde in the driver’s seat oh-so begrudgingly asking Frankie to make him his potion.

There are a ton of different reasons why this could happen. One of the biggest ones, and why Hyde would be the one in control, is that- Hyde being Hyde, he fucked up big time, and with Jekyll being their brain’s manager in a sense, he doesn’t logically know how to fix it. Like maybe he forced Jekyll out of the way, and down through their library to the bottom floor. Jekyll starts to become consumed by his mind and kind of disappearing, which is taking a massive toll on their body as well as their cognitive ability. Hyde starts becoming more and more paranoid, is unable to recall a lot of things like the formula for the potion, and his body is shutting down, so he has a hard time moving his hands and feet anyway. He is terrified and so he crawls to Frankenstein begging for help. She laughs at him for a second, then realizes he’s being completely serious. There’s the obvious shock factor of “Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll are the same person?!” And then she still can’t believe it when the potion jettisons Jekyll back out into his physical form. Also it would be absolutely horrific, because he’d of course be screaming the entire time in absolute agony, worse than when he normally takes the potions. Because this time he’s fighting to come back, and it’s like a shock from a defibrillator it’s so sudden. When he comes to, he’s still lost and spacey, so he’s looking around his office that’s in disarray and then at Frankenstein, and he’s wondering what in the blazes just happened. Then it comes flooding back to him- the fear, the confusion, the pain. It comes back so strong that he feels faint, and starts to pass out, but Frankie catches him and is like “oh no you don’t, you dumbass.” He starts to sob, exhausted and afraid of what this reveal means for him. And, somewhere, in the far corner of his mind, relief that he doesn’t have to hide anymore.

And there’s the whole fascination that comes after this where she demands he explains everything, calling him a complete idiot the whole time. And afterwards they have a heart-to-heart and she finally opens up about Elizabeth and they find solidarity in how they’ve messed up their whole lives. Possibly even her telling Jekyll he’s still got time to fix everything, and warning him about becoming like her- old and bitter because she chose science over everything, and everyone else..

Anyway, that’s my hc for how it should work. I kind of want to actually write the scenario in full, but idk if a. anyone would want to actually read that garbage, or b. it would even be decent seeing as I haven’t written anything for years, I just really like this hc and want it to be a thing, fanon or not.

[svankmajerbaby]

✨️🎀🎈💞💝🕯🎙🤲💌

!! thank u so much for the ask. i love talking about writing......

✨ What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

-hmm theres a point in which i have to tell myself not to worry about likes or comments bc what really matters is me getting the practise and exercising my writing muscles and having fun with it... But. i do wish i could get more ppl into my toy story fic. its got a whole bunch of wonderful comments and kudos and stuff, i just feel so proud of it and writing it came so easy and i poured so much of my love into it, i really really wish anyone who loves these characters would read it too.

🎀 give yourself a compliment about your own writing

-english is not my first language so grammar isnt often The Best, but i take a lot of care with using words and expressions as correctly as possible, and I try to always spell words right (i dont think ive ever confused loose and lose, for example, which ive seen confused a few times). some descriptions of spaces are particularly well done, at least to my own criteria, and the song choices are fun (or at least fun to write and picture in my head).

🎈 describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

- honestly, ive no idea. i think i get verbose, and i write long dialogue scenes. i overuse the — to lead into another thought, because thats kind of like how my mind works. i try to be "cinematic" in my writing and always start a scene with a description of a place, its lighting and its sounds, like im used to when writing scripts. and i got the sense that usually the characters often ramble and go on long discussions about stuff that maybe normal people wouldnt just start out discussing so strongly. but honestly id much rather someone else outside my own perspective told me what my writing is like, i would trust them more than my own opinion.

💞 what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

-the characters!! everything is important, and stuff like grammar often jumps out first for me... but i need to enjoy how the characters are written, and feel like theyre real people with genuine motivations and interactions. i dont mind too much if theyre not super alike to canon, as long as they feel true to the core of their personality and values.

💝 what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

-i was surprised to even get comments on my barbie frankenstein one. i loved writing it and it came through so easily and comfortably, but even though i had used that moderately popular meme of reimagining barbie as a gothic protagonist as inspiration i didnt really think it would be anything but something i liked to picture existing. i was so happy to see people enjoyed it too.

🕯️(there are two questions with this candle emoji symbol? i chose the first one, idk why theres two) was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

-the tiff fic :'^) ive always liked writing sorta dark stuff, ever since i was little, but this was on another level. sometimes i felt (and still do) feel a bit awkward bc i really do push myself to write stuff i feel a bit embarrassed or shocked by, but i do think that if i want to be a better writer it does me good to make an effort to depict stuff that makes me uncomfortable and seek to write it in a sense of finding a way to both make if effective and relatively tasteful (or at the very least in-character).

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

- i have never heard about pod-fic before, but i guess i can imagine what it is (wonder if its like an audiobook, or if it has sound effects and the like??). i would love to listen to an audiobook of the barbie frankenstein fic mostly bc i would love so so much to hear the dramatic literary dialogue ive written in kelly sheridans barbie voice. also now that i think about it i have no idea what the creature would even sound like... that would be an interesting challenge.

🤲 what do YOU get out of writing?

-practise writing in english, a sense of accomplishment (when i get to finish something!!) and every once in a while some strong validation in the form of ppl liking what i write... all of it is super valuable to me, especially practise and the push and drive to finish stuff to upload, but the validation in particular just really hits that dopamine in my brain i guess

💌 share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

-its from the glen and glenda fic im halfway planning! i got a few dialogues written and some scenes sketched out, but its still a long way to go. im very excited about it tho! ive grown to really love the versions of the twins ive made in my head. hopefully theyre faithful to their screen depictions while also adding a bit more depth and character building ive wanted to take them through.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

UGH! I have been frantically trying to finish Mom’s Christmas present because it has got to be mailed Monday, and now I realize I forgot to get a box to pack it in.

BTW …It’s been nightmare. For some reason I got the idea to make a doll/figure. The last time I made a jointed doll it was early 2015.

Back then I had fresh sculpey, a table to work at and store things, Mom was here so I didn’t have to do everything else, enough money that if I needed something I could get it, fresh practice as I’d been making them for months, and simply I had the ability to focus.

Naturally, knowing things could, and usually do, go wrong, I decided to make two. Yes, I made two disasters at once!

I started doing it with sculpey bought almost that long ago, in horrible shape to the point I spent more time trying to get it usable than anything else. AWFUL stuff. I had no table but my lap, so nowhere to store any of it but in the toaster oven the porch. I was wedging in the work time amid every chore. My brain was constantly distracted by a dozen worries. And honestly, I had forgotten every trick I had figured out.

So I sculpted with sculpey that wouldn’t stick to itself**. I baked in a toaster oven that had decided to vary in temperature on it’s own. I forgot how to shape joints. I couldn’t find some of the tools I used back then.

Some parts broke when I tried to thread them and had to be glued because I couldn’t afford to waste the sculpey. The cord wouldn’t go through one part and I had to drill it. Limbs got mismatched and things out of proportion, but they had to be used as they were rather than just trying again.

Worried of losing parts I strung them as soon as I could, which was a mistake. I forgot to paint them before stringing. I also cut the cord before realizing I needed to get it tighter, leaving it too short to redo and I can’t afford to waste it and cut another piece.

Parts got distorted and didn’t fit right after baking. Many parts were lopsided. Badly. The bodies looked like Frankenstein’s monster versions of what I was going for.

Some of the paint had dried out (after a decade of use). The brushes had gotten bushed out. Painting with any delicacy wasn’t working at all.

And then there are the tails. I thought I’d be clever and use a bootlace that conveniently broke just as I was trying to figure how make the tails. It cleaned up nice, BUT it proved impossible to paint. So, deciding to use it’s natural color, I cut it and…it instantly started to unravel and wouldn’t fit into the holes I made for it…..

Tonight I worked like crazy, not fixing supper and letting my tea become iced on it’s own****. I had to get these two done!

They are done. I guess. Nothing ever feels done, but I am sick of trying and doubt all my fiddling will make a difference at this point.

Two hideous little dolls.

I have to pick one as the good one. I have to take pics, possibly the only record that will ever exist of the one I send.**** And I guess I need to break into the piggy bank for enough change to get a box at Dollar General. *****

I was planning to write to Mom, explaining why I made it, how it connects to her/my Texas Tiger*******. It was going to be sweet…

Should it instead be an apology?

“Sorry, Mom. I love you very much, and you deserve better. I hope you can feel that love, despite what it looks like. I tried, but I suck.”

***sigh***

**I could have used the pink stuff I had, rather than this final box of the good stuff, BUT despite being the same vintage that pink stuff is too mushy for joint making.

*** It’s 56F in here, so it isn’t REALLY iced. But a warm drink would be a lot more welcome!

****It could be lost or damaged in the mail. Even if it gets there safely Mom won’t get to see it long. They pack away the stuff I give her, and I think they end up in a shed. Considering my brother once vowed to torch my stuff when I die, I doubt they matter at all to anyone but Mom.

***** I’m broke and 10 miles from any other store and tomorrow will have heavy rain. DG will have to do.

*******Long story. A stuffed toy she had and gave to me, but that I now know via her teenage diary the true significance of.

[antianakin]

Yeah I think we did watch different shows actually because the one I watched had her calling him a "good master" (the opposite of dismissing his teachings in fact) and had a whole theme of her needing to let go of her anger at him because he did what he did for "love" (look at the conversation she has with Huyang about Sabine since they just mutilated Sabine to turn her into an Anakin proxy). She says he's dangerous and the whole POINT of that episode was about recognizing that the "good" parts of him were more important than the sins he committed.

Ahsoka is literally condemned for calling him "dangerous" and saying that is as close as they get to really acknowledging anything he did on this show. NOBODY ever discusses the heinous shit he did, NOBODY ever acknowledges exactly what he did, and they keep dismissing the Jedi as FAILURES. The Jedi weren't murdered, they "failed" which completely exonerates Anakin for what he did to them and puts all of the blame SQUARELY on the Jedi themselves instead of the man who murdered them. Genocide apologia much?

There's zero discussion of Anakin trying to kill Ahsoka on Malachor and how that made her feel. There's zero discussion of how Ahsoka feels about the loss of the Jedi or how anybody feels about the fact that the Empire came to power and STAYED in power as long as it did because of Anakin. Sabine never gets to talk about it, Hera never gets to talk about it, even though both of them had some pretty serious losses to their homes and families because of the Empire. They never even really discuss Anakin AS VADER, they just do the little flicker things in that one episode. Ahsoka blames herself for having "left him" and so Anakin didn't "get" to finish her training rather than the more accurate assessment that Anakin abandoned her to DIE which is why she never finished her training. There's no acknowledgement that Ahsoka was planning to come BACK to the Jedi before their genocide made that impossible and how she feels about THAT and Anakin's part in it.

And of course then there's the whole bullshit theme in this show about destiny and how selfish choices are forgivable if they're "meant to be" in some way. Sabine gets away with gambling away an entire galaxy to save one person (as well as abandoning Ezra to fix that particular mess in order to save one person) because her and Ahsoka being on Peridea is "meant to be." And since Sabine is a mutilated Frankenstein proxy for Anakin, this applies to Anakin's choices, too. Anakin made a selfish choice and the galaxy paid for it, but it was his destiny to do so, which means it doesn't matter and Anakin can't really take any responsibility for what he's done.

THAT'S the show I watched, much to the degradation of my mental health. Maybe you should go rewatch it and look a little deeper this time.

Or if you would prefer to watch a show that ACTUALLY acknowledges how heinous Anakin is with a main character who DOES ultimately have to let go of Anakin in order to move on and doesn't have any genocide apologia, go watch the Kenobi show. It's a lot less likely to rot your brain right out of your skull than the Ahsoka show.

Perhaps one of the most unintentionally hilarious parts of the Ahsoka show being SO FUCKING Pro-Anakin to the point of excusing genocide is that it really shows that all of the people who thought Ahsoka was the "normal" person about Anakin who would actually try to kill him while Obi-Wan was too attached to do it were probably always dead wrong about her characterization. This girl will literally just excuse anything he ever does, no matter how heinous, and just pretend it never even happened.

[miwtual]

KAI’S PHOTOPEA GIFFING TUTORIAL

so literally no one asked for this, but i thought it would be fun to document my process of giffing on photopea for anyone who might be interested in my personal process. this tutorial is VERY long, but i tried to be as thorough as possible with my process with some optional steps that i take sometimes.

i’ll be honest and say my process is a frankenstein process of everything @benoitblanc​ has ever made in her photopea tutorials (which you should definitely check out before you follow this one, via this tag) and other miscellaneous tutorials i’ve found in my giffing journey. i’ll try and refer back to the different tutorials i’ve used to get to the point i’m at now, but if you want more in depth tutorials about the things i do/talk about, my writing blog @mshelleys​ has a tutorials tag where i archive most of the tutorials i use.

but with all of that out of the way, let’s get started. :)

so i won’t cover every single button on photopea, or go into detail about my process of how i make my starting gifs, but if you’d like more detail about either of those, here’s arwen’s tutorial about how she makes gifs that has info about both of those things. i personally screen record using activepresenter and run those clips through ezgif’s video to gif maker, but use whatever method you think is easiest to make your starting gif.

upon opening up photopea, click “open from computer” and choose the gif(s) you’re going to be working on from wherever you have them saved on your computer.

and now we’re here at the photopea dashboard with your gif all ready to go. this first screen seems very intimidating, but i’m going to be taking you step by step of how i make my gifs. 

STEP 1: CROPPING & RESIZING THE GIF

the first thing i do is crop and resize my gif. when i made this particular gif in ezgif, i used the Original (up to 800px) option so that i could make it match up better to tumblr’s sizing options (which you can check out in depth here).

in the crop menu at the top, use the drop down menu and click “Fixed Ratio”. use any ratio you’d like (i used 16x9 for this gif, but there’s lots of other ratios to play with), and then crop your gif how you’d like to based on that ratio. then, under Image > Image Size at the top of the site, you’ll have a popup to change the width/height of your gif. tumblr stops your gifs from getting any bigger past 540px, so i usually keep my gifs between 540 - 600px wide. i personally worry about the height of gifs more than i do the width.

at this point, i save my gif so i don’t have to go through the process of cropping and resizing just in case photopea crashes, my internet goes out, or any other issues happen in this initial process. i also tend to title my gifs at this point, though you don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.

STEP 2: SHARPENING

now that our gif has been sized properly and we’ve saved a backup, we can get into the fun part: sharpening. on your right under the “layers” tab, scroll to the bottom of your gif and left click on the first frame of your gif, and then scroll up and use the shift key when you left click your last frame. this will allow you to sharpen all your frames at the same time, rather than individually (which i did for a very long time. don’t do that, it’s not fun).

at the top of the site, go to Filter > Sharpen > Smart Sharpen. from here, you’ll use this button twice to sharpen your gif. the first time you sharpen, put the amount to 200% and radius to 0.5px. the second time, put the amount to 10% and radius to 10.0px.

and after doing this, your gif will probably look something like this.

which if you like how this version of your gif looks, feel free to skip the next couple of steps of my tutorial. however, i found a way to work around this grainy look to make it look a bit less grainy, so i’ll walk you through that now.

OPTIONAL STEP 1: GAUSSIAN BLUR & ADDING NOISE

so, from here (with all your frames still selected), you’ll want to go back to the Filter tab at the top of the screen. now, though, you’ll want to go to Filter > Blur > Gaussian Blur. in the popup that shows up, put the blur to 0.1px. your gif will now look like this: still sharp, but not quite as pixellated.

so from here, we’re going to go to the Filter tab again (i know). this is a sort of new step i’ve learned from @leather-face​‘s tutorial here, so thank u leo for introducing me to this button because it makes gifs look much nicer.

under the Filter tab again, go to Filter > Noise > Add Noise. in the popup that comes up, put the noise level between 1-3 (over 4 looks a little strange, and you unfortunately can’t work in decimals like you can on actual photoshop). here’s what my gif looks like now with the noise level put at 1, 2, and 3 (i ended up using 3 for the final gif).

play around with the noise when you make your gifs; i’ve found i like my gifs best when the noise is at 2 or 3, but maybe you like something different. it’s all up to your preference!

it is also important to note that adding noise to your gif can greatly increase its size, or break the gif entirely. test to make sure your gif isn’t too large or broken by going to File > Export As > GIF.

if your gif is ‘broken’ (you will get a popup that says something like “something went wrong with one or more frames”), you will need to take away noise entirely.

if your gif is above 10MB (as seen in the bottom left corner of the gif preview), it’s too large for tumblr and therefore won’t work and will also have to take away the noise from your gif entirely. check here if you’re unsure how big your gif can be at the sizes tumblr allows; if your gif is 540px wide or wider like mine in this tutorial, it will need to be under 10MB.

however, like i said, these steps are entirely optional. even if you just do the gaussian blur step and not the noise step, your gifs will look just fine.

STEP 3: BASE COLORING

at this point in the giffing process, we’re done with messing with the actual gif frames themselves, so feel free to close that folder that your gif frames are in if you’d like to by clicking the little arrow on the left of the folder near the eye. make sure that after you do this, you have the folder itself selected; i do this, mostly to make sure all my coloring goes on top of the frames rather than accidentally somewhere in the middle (this has happened to me many times while giffing, so i’m trying to save you the panic when only part of your gif has been colored).

now we can move on to the fun part, which is coloring. as you can see from the previous screenshots, this particular gif is very dark, which makes it hard to do the fun coloring (because what’s the point of making gifs colorful if you can’t see the subject?). this step is all about my base coloring, which stays about the same for all my gifs with maybe a couple changes here and there, depending on the gif.

(btw, for the rest of this tutorial, we’re going to get well acquainted with the lots of the buttons under the Layer > New Adjustment Layer tabs.)

to start us off, go to Layer > New Adjustment Layer > Curves. i always start with this because it really does make a difference in the brightness of your gifs to start you off on the right foot. this is what mine looks like for this gif but, again, it changes often depending on the gif i’m working on.

look at that difference already! mess around with this as much as you’d like to brighten your gif. don’t worry if it doesn’t get to be too bright, as we have more layers upcoming that are going to help brighten it even more. just try to make it not as dark as you may have started with.

once you’re done with your curves layer, go again to Layer > New Adjustment Layer and go to Brightness/Contrast. i always put this layer at 15 for both brightness and contrast, but feel free to play around with the levels.

this helps create, well, contrast between the lighter and darker parts of your gif, and (at least in my experience) helps differentiate the colors involved with your gif, which will be very useful later on. plus, it just looks pretty!

once again, go to Layer > New Adjustment Layer and go to Exposure. this part of these initial layers do wonders for brightening your gifs. i rarely, if ever, change the numbers for these layers, so i wouldn’t recommend changing them either, but feel free experimenting with this layer as much as you’d like.

in the panel that pops out, make the exposure 0.20; this makes a HUGE difference in the brightening of your gif, as you can probably tell between the image below and the image above. under gamma correction is where the only real differences are, but i usually keep mine between 1.05 and 1.15.

for this particular gif, i’m not going to mess with the offset option. if your gif is too bright for you, or you simply want more intense contrast between the brighter/darker colors of your gif, put the offset to -0.01. doing so will darken is pretty dramatically, though, so i don’t usually mess with this part unless the particular gif calls for it. here’s what my gif right now looks like with the offset set to -0.01:

but that’s too dark for my taste (and will make the gif a bit difficult to work with when we get to the next step), so i’m keeping the offset to 0.00 for now.

now that we’re done with the Exposure layer, go to Layer > New Adjustment Layer > Selective Color (towards the bottom of the list). we’re going to use this adjustment layer later, too, but for now we’re using it to help give the gif more contrast (can you tell that i like contrast in my gifs?).

in the panel that pops out, go to the dropdown menu that says “Red” and find the color White towards the bottom. don’t mess with the cyan, magenta, or yellow layers in this panel, but go to the black adjustment slider at the very bottom of the panel. this number changes depending on the gif, but i usually set this slider to -70. this takes away the darkness from the whites in your gif and, you guessed it, brightens up the gif entirely.

from here, we’re going to darken the blacks in the gif. under the same menu where we got to the white panel, go there again and pick Black from in the dropdown menu. once again, go straight to the black adjustment slider at the bottom.

so this is another thing that changes depending on the gif. since this gif i’m working on is pretty dark, i don’t want to add too much black into it. i usually keep this adjustment slider between 2 and 5. gifs that are too bright or need more contrast i’ll play around more with the slider, but that isn’t the case for this gif. for this particular gif, i kept the slider at 2.

like earlier, i have another optional step for brightening up your gif. if you’re happy with just messing with the whites and blacks of your gif, feel free to skip this bit.

OPTIONAL STEP 2: NEUTRALS

so with gifs like what i’m working on now, sometimes i want to brighten them up even more than i already have with my other base adjustment layers (or vice versa if they’re too bright). this doesn’t go for every gif, but there are cases like this one where i just want to make it brighter, or others where i want to make them darker. this is where the neutral color adjustment comes in.

so, same dropdown menu where we chose white and black, go to the menu that’s labelled Neutral. this layer you need to be more careful with, because it’s not like the White or Black layers where it messes with a specific color; this layer can either brighten or darken the entire gif, regardless of color. however, with this gif, that’s what i want, so that’s what we’re doing.

once again, ignore the cyan, magenta, and yellow adjusting sliders and go straight to the black adjustment slider. since we want to brighten this gif, we are going to work in the negatives of the slider; if your gif is too bright, you’re going to work in the positives of the slider to darken the gif.

this is, once again, a layer that changes from gif to gif. for this particular gif, i set the black adjustment slider to -10, but do whatever works for you and your gif, and play around with whatever you think looks the nicest.

and, finally, you’ve completed all your base coloring!

STEP 4: (FUN) COLRING

now that you’re done with all your base coloring for your gif, we can move on to the most fun part, which is playing with the colors of your gif. if you’re like me and need to be organized to high hell, feel free to put your base coloring layers into a folder by left clicking the curves layer, pressing shift, and left clicking your selective colors layer and clicking the little button at the bottom of the layers panel that looks like a folder.

you could also save all of these steps as a PSD for future use by going to File > Save as PSD. make sure if you do this you put the PSD somewhere you can find it again, just in case you want to use it for future use. this also gives you another of your gif just in case something happens to photopea or your internet while making your gifs.

with all your base coloring done, your gif should be significantly brighter than what it was when we first started. here’s what mine looks like before and after the adjustment layers i added:

and now that it’s brighter in general, your coloring following these base layers will be brighter too! so let’s get to my favorite part of giffing: the fun coloring.

so as you can see with this gif, it’s very pink and purple. these are fun colors to work with, but i tend to like to tone down these more colorful gifs to something more simplistic to work with. i HIGHLY recommend reading through @selinakyle​​‘s channel mixer guide if you’ve never played around with that adjustment layer before, because that’s what i’m going to use to make this gif more basic to color. you can also check out @nobodynocrime​​‘s tutorial for fixing yellow tinted shots, because i tend to use a lot of these same aspects when fixing any scene that’s a majority of one color. however, if you’d like to skip this step, go ahead! it’s not a requirement, nor do i use it for every gif.

OPTIONAL STEP 3: CHANNEL MIXER

in photopea, go to Layer > Add Adjustment Layer > Channel Mixer.

i’m going to get into some color theory for a second to explain how to fix this coloring, so please stick with me here. since this gif is majority pink/purple, we’re going to want to first mess with the green color channel to even it out.

for this gif, i increased the green adjustment slider to 113%. to help even out the amount of green in this channel, i also increased the red adjustment slider to 7% and the blue adjustment slider to 3%.

so i’m not very happy with how the gif looks with just this channel changed, so i went to the red and blue channels to mess around with them as well. here’s what those numbers now look like with the adjustments i made:

and now my gif looks like this, which will make working with color much easier for the following steps.

which makes working with these colors easier, at least to me, as we move on to the (official) next step.

STEP 4, CONTINUED: (FUN) COLRING, HUE/SATURATION & VIBRANCE

alright, so we’re now to the ACTUAL point of the fun coloring. absolutely play around with the different layers i talk about during this step, because there are lots of choices here you can play around with to make unqiue gifs of all kinds!

first thing’s first, though, is that we want these colors in our gif to be more vibrant. once again with the adjustment layers, go to Layer > Add Adjustment Layer > Hue/Saturation. this is the layer where a lot of the heavy lifting for making my gifs colorful is from.

when the panel pops out, you’ll be on the master range. this is the range that colors the whole of your gif. for my more colorful gifs, i always put the saturation to 30 and the lightness to -2. if you’re wanting to do pale gifs, i’d recommend working in the negatives with the saturation, which will change depending on how pale you want your gif to be. here’s what my gif looks like with this step:

now play around with the different ranges that you have in that dropdown menu. this is, in my opinion, the most fun part about making gifs, because this is a sort of part 1 to choosing what colors my gifs will be by playing with the “Hue” slider at the top above the “Saturation” slider for different colors. i won’t show all what i did with my adjustments to the different ranges, but here’s what my gif ended up looking like afterward:

beautiful! we’re almost done, just a few more layers!

when you’re done with the hue/saturation layer, go to Layer > Add Adjustment Layer > Vibrance. regardless of what the gif is going to look like, put the vibrance adjustment slider to 100 and the saturation adjustment slider to 25. this is what my gif looks like:

don’t worry about how vibrant this looks, because you’ll adjust this a couple layers from now and you can turn down the vibrancy then. for now, this is what you want.

OPTIONAL STEP 4: PHOTO FILTER

so i started doing this next step because of a tutorial i saw a while ago (that i forgot who made it), so if you’d like, you can skip this bit. it’s just something i do that doesn’t have much of an impact on the final product.

go to Layer > Add Adjustment Layer > Photo Filter. when the panel opens, you’ll be met with something like this:

again, i’m going to talk about color theory again. this layer is very dependent on your gif. if your gif is a majority cooler tones, like blues, cyans, or greens, use the orange that photopea gives you with this layer and set the density to 10%. this will warm up your gif.

if your gif is majority warmer tones, like reds, oranges, or yellows, click the orange in the panel to be brought to the color picker popup. at this popup, you will have to choose the default blue tone from the little color squares above the “OK” button on this popup (or just put 0000ff into the hex box; either way, get that default blue in there).

click “OK”, and then set the density to 10%. this does the opposite of the orange, cooling off the colors of your gif.

for my particular gif, since my colors are somewhere between warm and cool tones, i could use either orange or blue. orange would bring out the pinks in my gif, and blue would bring out the blues/purples in my gif. i chose to use the blue for my photo filter, making my gif look like this:

if you have a similar situation to what i had here, choose either color you’d like more. i personally want to work with the blues and purples of my gif and cool off the pink in the background, so that’s why i chose the blue for my photo filter layer. again, this is up to your preference.

STEP 4, CONTINUED: (FUN) COLRING, SELECTIVE COLOR

now we’re on to part 2 of choosing what colors my gifs will be. we’re going to be going back to the selective color layer for this step, so go to Layer > Add Adjustment Layer > Selective Color.

from here, mess around with the different colors you have available to you! much like the hue/saturation layer, this changes all the time from gif to gif for me, so feel free to play around. with the selective color layer, you can actually make colors change by messing with the cyan, magenta, and yellow adjustment sliders throughout the different colors to choose from in the dropdown menu. again, play around with the different colors in this panel -- you can even mess with the black, whites, and neutrals again!

after playing around with my selective color layer, this is what my gif ended up looking like:

and now we’re almost done with making your gif!

STEP 5: THE FINAL LAYERS & EXPORTING YOUR GIF

so now we’re at the final stretch. all we have are a couple more adjustment layers, and then we’re done! 

as you probably expected, go to Layer > Add Adjustment Layer > Levels. since coloring your gif, you’ve probably messed with the darkness/brightness of it in some way. this layer, as well as the next one, will help brighten or darken your gif to your liking, as well as add contrast if you’d like.

in the Levels panel that’s popped up, only mess with the middle number. the numbers on the left and right mess with the original base coloring you did to add contrast and brightness to your gif, which you don’t really want to mess at this point in the gifmaking process.

i usually put this middle number anywhere between 1.15 to 0.75, depending on how dark or bright i’ve made my gif at this point in the process. this gif is a little dark for me, so i brightened it up by putting the middle number at 1.15, as seen here:

and now we’ve gotten that bright contrast back that we sort of lost in the process of coloring our gif.

after this layer, go to Layer > Add Adjustment Layer > Brightness/Contrast once again like we did for the base coloring. this one’s more for my personal taste than actually required, so feel free to skip it if you’d like.

in the panel that pops up, rather than making both the brightness and contrast equal like we did before, i usually tone down the brightness and turn up the contrast. i keep both of these numbers between -30 and -10 for the brightness and between 15 to 30 for the contrast. in the particular case of this gif, i put the brightness at -10 and contrast to 15.

and viola! you’ve completely sharpened and colored your gif! below is the difference between no coloring, just the base coloring, and the full coloring of this tutorial.

now that your gif is complete, if there’s nothing else you want to do to it (such as adding text, like i did for my gif), you can export it! go to File > Export As > GIF. this will get you to this pop up.

here, you can preview your gif and change the speed. when you’re changing the speed, i wouldn’t recommend going below 60%, but again, up to you! previewing your gif is also helpful to make sure your coloring looks good throughout your frames, because if you’re like me, you probably just looked at only the first frame while working on your coloring.

if your gif looks just like how you want it to, go ahead and click “Save”, and you’ve done it! you’ve made a gif!

once again, this is just my process of gifmaking. if you want another way to make gifs, or more information about other things you can do to your gifs, you can send an ask my way or head to arwen’s tutorials tag (which i use all the time) to see what you can find.

and more importantly, above anything and everything else i’ve said in this tutorial, play around with photopea! maybe you’ll find a way you like better for making gifs, or you’ll discover a button that does a cool thing, or something else that you like better than whatever i may have done in this tutorial.

mess around, experiment, and have fun with it; it’s gifmaking, after all!

[aroaceconfessions]

Look, I know someone will come, distort my words, and say shit like "well, the problematic one is you, since you think all of this" when I'm just pointing out a reality I've seen. But I've seen it so many times I couldn't just stay shut.

No one wants to read or watch a content where the characters are ugly unless you can pity or laugh at them. Back ground characters can be ugly, side ones too, as long as they don't end up with the gorgeous fandom favorites, that's a comedity exclusive thing and they'll be beautified in fiction. But it's common knowledge that for a true happy ending everyone needs to find true love. So how do we fix this problem? Ugly character X ugly character is nobody's thing, you just double the problem. No. Although they themselves won't ever show the same level of happiness as the partnered characters, you still turn them into the only thing that is mildly acceptable to be alone by the happy ending of your story: an aroace.

I get so fucking mad when people choose the least "conventionally attractive" character to be the "aroace rep". Like, I can clearly see it, you are choosing the ones who have stigmatized traits there are socially seen as unattractive and making them aroace.

It's the fat nerdy boy with pimples, it's the very skinny very tall flat girl, is the kid with strong vitiligo, it's the one who has a visible disability. It's always those who are desexualized in media and real life, those who would never be the main character of a traditional romance without undergoing some transformation.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see these characters being canonically Aspec as long as I knew they are A-spec for the sake of being A-spec and not because you couldn't bother trying to fit these "undesirable" people into the most important part of any content: the romance.

When you are ugly you are either pitiful enough to be Quasimodo or you are Frankenstein. Ugly main characters don't stay ugly. And so you make the remaining ugly characters aroace so people won't realize you measure people's worth in regards of happiness by how attractive you think they are.

Being aroace is treated as a plot device, because your amatonormative writing says everyone needs a partner by the end of the story for it to be happy "Ah! Everyone but aroaces, I make them an exception so I don't need to waste a good pretty character by partnering them with these background comic reliefs. I'll just make them aroace."

You'd rather erase an aroace character than waste a "pretty" actor on them, wouldn't you?

There's a huge difference between "I don't think this character I see as aroace is pretty" and "that character I think isn't pretty should be aroace". You can TELL when someone truly sees a character as aroace and when someone just wants the character to not be a nuisance to their ship or, worse, uses being aroace as a justification to not ship the character with anyone because shipping is the highest form of validation for fictional content.

[soundcrusher]

The missing bird

Alright, season 2 part 2 from my ongoing story set in the sentient sg/ll universe from @cuppajj

I hope you will enjoy it. They are no highkins yet, but they're coming. I promise.

Trigger Warning: Rodimus gets bonked on the head. Nothing more. (Thankfully)

-.-,-.-,-.-,-.-,-.-,-.-,-.-,-.-,-.-,-.-,-.-,-.-,-.-,-.-,-.-,

“Stop looking at me like that! I am not crazy, I know what I’ve seen!”

“I am not saying that, Pharma, I’m just… your optics have been better…”

Pharma knew it, he knew it! He shouldn’t have commed Tarn after Rodimus’ assault and escape, but there wasn’t really any other option for him. If only the prime would have escaped, Pharma wouldn’t have bothered with calling his old friend. No. He would have simply called someone else. Someone who dealt with roge Autobots on the run, and wasn’t the leader of a group dedicated to finding and or saving Decepticons. But after seeing the youngling gone, informing Tarn of what happened was his highest priority. That, and fixing the wound inflicted on him. 

“Alright…” Muttered the medic, as he stared down at his steaming cup of Energon-tea. Usually this would help him calm down his nerves, but this time it didn’t work. Neither did knitting. “Let us begin from new. I told you that I was threatened by a youngling, who was in bad shape. Yes?” Pharma asked, which got him a silent nod from Tarn. “But the youngling did not come because of his missing wings, but rather because of the mech who was with him and slowly dying from a plethora of medical anomalies that should not have been possible. I mean, this mech looked like the monster from Frankenstein! Never in my years of working as a medical officer have I seen something like that. And then there is the fact that the mech’s head and spark were still fine. As if someone knew how to save those parts, but had to repeatedly replace the other ones. If I wouldn’t find the indications of such a procedure repulsive, I would be impressed.”

Pharma could have gone on and on about the medical concerns and sins committed through such an act, but Tarn was quick to stop him by simply raising a servo and shaking his head. “I know Pharma, I know, it must have been a terrible sight to see, but I think you’re missing the point. Rodimus Prime is dead. I saw his corpse with my own optics. And if you don’t believe me, you can ask my crew. We all have seen it.”

“And I tell you, he’s as alive as you and me!” Pharma wasn’t one for raising his voice or yelling, he hated it, but seeing as Tarn didn’t believe him, he couldn’t help himself. “I personally made sure that he was treated the best we could offer! And don’t start with my bad optics again, Tarn, I know what I have seen. I was using my glasses!” Screamed the medic, while slamming his knitting utensils down on the table, before getting up. Moving around his office in search of one specific data-pad. “But that isn’t even my point. Yes, Rodimus being alive and well is not good for anyone who should cross his path, but I worry about the youngling. Tarn, that youngling looked like… He didn’t look good. The look in his optics, it was haunting. As if he’s seen something that… You know those scared mechs and femmes you sometimes find and bring here for treatment? They know that whoever hurt them can’t do it anymore, but the kid, even the Prime, looked like they were expecting something or someone to jump out of the shadows. As if whatever was hunting them, was still on their tail. And then there are the things he muttered while under sedation…”

The old medic sighed, as he handed his  friend the data-pad containing all the needed information about both his latest patients, before sitting back down in his chair. Elbows on the table and head resting in his servos. “Call me crazy, call me old, blame it on my bad optics, but I know what I have seen. I know that the youngling was in the company of Rodimus Prime. And I know that I should have tried harder to keep them here… Maybe then I could have helped them better… Maybe they would be-”

“You shouldn’t blame yourself for something that happened. How should you have known that they would flee?” Asked Tarn softly, as to keep his friend from worrying even more. After all, Pharma was a mech who put the wellbeing of his patients before his own, and with two mechs gone who he still saw as his patients, Tarn knew that the medic was blaming himself for anything that could happen to them. “But,” he said after a short pause he took to quickly read the data-pad, “even with your provided evidence, I still can’t believe that Rodimus Prime is alive. I will believe you, that you saw an Autobot together with a Decepticon youngling, but until I see it for myself, Rodimus Prime is still dead.”

"Of course…" Muttered Pharma. "Well… I guess I will have to accept that…." It was either finding a compromise, or arguing until both of them started to rust. And frankly, Pharma knew that he couldn't convince Tarn to believe him. Not until his friend saw the prime with his own optics. "Either way, the youngling, is he a reported case? I would imagine that someone wouldn't try to keep this 'under the rug', as humans would say. Especially when it concerns one of the few younglings created after the war. I mean, if I had a youngling and they were in the servos of a rogue Autobot, I would report them as soon as possible."

Tarn nodded his head. There was one case involving a youngling, but that youngling was marked as dead. "There was one case, but whoever worked on it marked the involving youngling as deceased. Although, the data-pad you gave me makes me think that someone might have faked the report. It would be too much of a coincidence if there were two younglings with the same name, alt-mode, color palette and looks." While coincidences like this exist, it looked more like someone was trying to erase this specific Decepticon from their files, rather than two mechs who shared some similarities. 

Pharma nodded and picked his tea-cup up. Giving Tarn a look that could only be read as, 'I've made up my mind'.

"Then I want to officially report Phoenix as missing." 

......

Meanwhile, said youngling didn't even know that he was being missed by anyone, because he had other concerns right now. 

Once he woke up after spending a whole week being, figuratively, dead to the world, Phoenix was at first confused as to where he was. Then, he remembered everything that happened and quickly got up to look for Rodimus, only to find a stranger in his brother's place. At least, Phoenix thought it was a stranger, because this unknown mech did have Rodimus' head, from what he could see, but his body didn't match up. So, the youngling quickly grabbed a pipe and whacked the intruder over the head, only to hear the familiar voice of Rodimus' letting out a small scream of pain and surprise. 

"Phoenix! Frag, you have a hard swing…" Muttered the prime, while rubbing the sore spot on his helm. Maybe he should have stayed with Phoenix, in case his brother woke up, but he also had to make sure they didn't crash on a planet or fly into a meteor. Things were a lot easier when he had a crew… but he did have Phoenix now, and the kid did fly the ship when they made their escape. 

Speaking of Phoenix, the kid was awfully quiet after hitting him over the head. Quieter than usual, and that worried the black and purple mech. “Phoenix? Are you alright?” Asked Rodimus, as he slowly turned around to face his brother. Getting even more concerned when he saw Phoenix staring at him with a shocked face. “Come on, don’t say my good looks have stunned you. I mean, yes, I know I’m one handsome devil, but still. I-” Rodimus, while talking, was using one servo to underline his words, while the other one was propped up on his hip, but feeling Phoenix’s smaller servos carefully taking a hold on his free one caused the speedster to shut up. 

“The same…” Was all Phoenix muttered, before clutching Rodimus’ servo close to his chestplate, while tears started to run down his cheeks. “We’re… we’re the same. I’m… I’m not the only one… We look…” He couldn’t stop the tears, nor could he bring out a whole sentence. Yes, Phoenix knew that he and Rodimus shared a face, but seeing his brother’s body restored to what it used to look like. It was different. They might not have had 100% the same looks, but the resemblance was still uncanny. And it made Phoenix happy. Now, he wasn’t the only one who looked like this. 

He didn’t feel alone anymore. 

Seeing his brother cry wasn’t something Rodimus expected, but he could understand it. Or, at least he thought he could. So, carefully as to not scare Phoenix, he wrapped his free arm around the crying youngling. Pressing him as close to his chest as he could, without making it hurt. Phoenix was still clutching his servo after all. 

“Yes. You’re not the only one anymore. And, I promise you, I will keep it that way.” Said the speedster, before letting go of his brother to wipe away his tears. “Now, how about we get you some Energon? You must be starving.”

Phoenix nodded and let Rodimus pull him back to where they set up their resting place and place him down on the soft blankets, before the older mech rummaged through the cupboards for some spare Energon. Complaining the whole time about how wrongly the ship was stocked and how they will have to throw some things out and replace them with different ones. 

“Can we get a small kitchen?” Asked Phoenix, as he was being handed one of the small Energon cubes. “Oh! And maybe a table and some chairs too! Sitting on the floor is nice and all, but I would like chairs a lot more. Oh! Oh! How about some small lights too! Like those humans hang up on those green trees when the snow comes. Mother once brought me some and I hung them up in my room. Oh! And we will need some extra storage room for stuff too!”

“Yes, yes, we can make a list later Phoenix, but now you should concentrate on refueling. Primus knows how much you need it after sleeping like a rock.” Chuckled the prime as both of them started to plan and talk about their future while refueling. 

And for once, everything looked bright. 

...

“You know, if the sparkeater was a hot tall flier who could control his urges, I would totally kiss him.” Said Rodimus, which caused Phoenix to spit out his Energon.

“What the… Rodimus, no!”

“Rodimus, yes!”

[5mind]

stxr-bxster​:

“I mean, I’d still have to strip the components down to see what I can feed into the grinder…” Krigg’s hopeful smile soured a smidge as she grimaced, tapping her foot down as chemical formulas started streaking the surface level of her thought process. The fabricator machine was only able to detect what it was eating up to a certain point, so the tedious process of sorting and identifying the recycled scrap fell to her.

The units probably could’ve heard the gears spinning inside her mind, if they tried.

“But, I still wouldn’t have to carry everything. And hopefully, you can tell me what is what, in the pile of junk, and I can do the same in return.” She uttered, her slow and thoughtful wording growing more and more excited as she finally decided upon a trade remaining more than a bit beneficial to her. It was still, for all intents and purposes, a win-win situation. More out of polite reflex than anything, she waved off the red unit running off to gather supplies - only to feel herself flush as it dawned on her that they were still here, at least through the blue unit. She quickly shook off her fluster, continuing to think.

“…Hmmm. Maybe it’s a good thing you’re drones, rather than remote-controlled exoskeletons piloted by a random bunch of humans with a tech savyness. At least then, I shouldn’t have too much trouble asking for specific chemical composition-…” Krigg mumbled to herself, already running the scenarios in her mind of what she’d need, and admittedly feeling her attention slip away from the blue drone, whom had decided to put away the screwdriver and their hands up in a show of good will. She slowly turned back to her ship, walking to a small ladder running along the side of it, meant to access the wings and upper exit hatch, intent on mimicking the red unit and unloading the goods.

Her head jerked up as she placed a hand against the first rung of the ladder, snapping to the blue unit with a sudden sort of awareness. Oops, better safe than sorry! Krigg’s face scrunched back into one, final squint. “I redesigned, fixed and rebuilt this ship often enough to known it like the back of my hand. If ANYTHING goes missing, I WILL know.” She grumbled out, the words heavy with an underlying threat of…

Well, she’d figure it out.

“Stripping down materials.. we can probably help with that,” Blue Two commented. The AI figured it would get things done faster. “To an extent.”

While the android units did not have the same level of auditory sensitivity as Krigg, the blue android definitely caught the extraterrestial mumbling to herself. Drones? She thought they were just mere drones? Perhaps that was what they were intended to be upon creation but now they were so much more. The blue android a short staticky noise that sounded uncannily like a scoff. They would have to correct her some time later.

Krigg was right that she wouldn’t have to carry everything though. Because there was no way Fivemind was bringing over every piece of junk it has hoarded. In terms of raw material, it had a lot. It wasn’t even sure where to start. 

Red One was just getting started on piling up whatever they had. What with renovations and repairs, the machine had not gotten around to actually sorting out what they wanted disposed of. At the same time, they connected their visual feed to the modified ipad they had handed over to Blue. This would take a while, the device in Blue’s hand was an old frankenstein’s creature of computer parts after all.

On the other hand, the blue unit was being threatened by a being barely half her size. 

“Understood. As tempting as it would be to scrutinize it’s internals, the ship will not be tampered with.”

“I cannot lie.”

That wasn’t a lie. At least not when it was coming from Blue Two. They all had characters to stick to after all.

[yandere-wishes]

Sacrificial Bride Part 1//Twisted Wonderland X Reader//

Alright well, that's enough writing for the next few days if you excuse me I'm going to go sulk in my corner. Huge thanks to @softyswork​ who’s story about reader being sent to Malleus as a bride inspired this series. Also, I REALLY want to make some sort of modern-day Frankenstein it would be an amazing scientific breakthrough! You'll understand what I mean when you get to Idia's part lol.

💚🐉Malleus Draconia🐉💚

It was a common rumor around your village that ever since the death of the sleeping princess your settlement had never been the same. For you, this was nothing more than a fairy tale meant to spark a scrap of hope in the hearts of naive, suffering children who were still too young to fully understand why their fathers never returned from their hunting trips or why there was barely anything to eat for dinner.

Every time you heard this dreaded tail, you couldn't help but scuff. For as long as you've been alive your town had been in utter disarray and chaos. Monsters from the woods -what the town's folk called "fae"- attacked the village daily. Stealing jewels, destroying homes, sometimes even swallowing children or sucking the blood of the dormant. There was also the looming threat of the green flames. Blazing emerald fires who couldn't be subdued by neither water nor dirt. They advanced further into the territory of the village by each full cycle of the moon. Leaving behind in their trail, thick impenetrable thorn bushes that had taken the homes of many and the lives of many more.

Awful, dreaded creatures those fae where...

But alas you did not yet know just how cruel they could be.

On another periodic morning, your younger sister jolted you awake, dragging you to the town center before you got a chance to change out of your nightgown.

In the center of the square was short man..no...not a man you noticed his pointed drawn back ears. "Fae" you gasped under your breath. But unlike the monstrous fairies that ravished your town taking on the appearances of trees and woodland creatures, this one resembled a boy of 15. The young-looking male began to speak, his voice was clear like crystals, and to his tone bats began to flock overhead. "Truly dreadful, these fairy folk are" your sister uttered in terror as she buried her face in your side.

"Heed my words, mortals. The young prince of thorns has decided to take a wife. By the setting of the sun a full day from today, two of his guards will come to collect your offering. If you chose to disregard this Wa-- friendly advice, then what is left of your town will be decimated before the end of summer. Your children eaten, wives imprisoned and husbands killed!" An unsteady hush rippled through the crowd. Some hothead youths began to throw rocks at the stranger only for the bats hovering above to shield him from the stones. Mothers hugged their children close begging for the man to "just leave".

"If" the man's voice rose once more like a cadaver emerging from the grave " my young master is pleased with your sacrifice than we shall reward you! Bring good health and prosperity to your otherwise sick and decaying village." His last words melted into the open air before he vanished in a cloud of squealing bats and ebony smoke.

The town's folk erupted in screeches, cursing at their deities while simultaneously praying to any god that would listen.

"Help us!"

"save us!"

"Don't let them take our daughters!"

The screams escalated to the point where you had to cover your ears with your shaking hands. Your eyes scanning each of the villager's faces, a pathetic lot they were, you thought to yourself. Scared by the words of a young magician. In a flash, your heart sped up, adrenaline pumping through your veins, as you marched to the center square where the boy had been mere moments ago. You stood tall, cupping your hands over your mouth.

"Listen well you disquiet, mindless lot!"

All eyes turned to you. Some holding looks of confusion, whilst others harbored glances of hope.

"This fae is lying! No way will they be satisfied with just one measly girl! No matter who we sacrifice to their so-called master, they'll still come after us! They'll still destroy our village! Let's not be stupid! Let's find a way to barricade the city instead of arguing over who to sacrifice!"

For an endless second all was quite. It was like the world had stopped turning, frozen in its place in the universe trying to decide what to do.

Then it happened,

Chants reverberating through the air

"Sacrifice her!" "Sacrifice her!"

"Sacrifice her!" "Sacrifice her!"

"Sacrifice her!"........................

WHAT!

NO!

DID THOSE MORONS NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE WORD YOU SAID!

The crowd started advancing. Eyes locked on your figure like those of a leopard on its prey.  Their mouths were all a gap, chanting the words "sacrifice" over and over again. From behind the mob, your eyes locked with your sister's. You could practically feel the despair rolling off her figure as she covered her eyes and fell to her knees, her whole body rattling with a sort of distant rage...

A full day....it's funny how time passes all so quickly no matter what you do. Day in and day out nothing changes, pain is still pain, laughter is still laughter. Time just keeps slipping from between your fingers like sand. Even in the direst of times, Time doesn't show mercy, never once does it cease. It just ticks and ticks away until the inevitable moment arrives.

Your sister and aunt -the only two relatives that you hadn't lost to the fae- were in charge of preparing you for your so-called "wedding". Since your town was poor and isolated from other civilizations there wasn't much they could do to enhance your beauty. Smashing some berries to add color to your lips -and fervently ravishing the remains- using some coal to add shade behind your eyes, as well as around them and patting the dust of rose petals against your cheek. By the end, you hardly recognized the person staring back from the mirror. Sure the adjustments were minor but this was the most stunning you'd ever looked. "Is it almost time" your voice quivered, failing to hide the tears that began to fall. "Please don't cry sweetheart, we don't have any more coal to fix your eyes with." Your aunt's tone was monotone almost bordering on heartless. You couldn't really blame her, she'd gotten so used to having her loved ones plucked from her. One more would be no different. Sniffing as to keep the tears at bay, you nodded slowly. Your glossy eyes locked with your aunt's you could see the same fear and exhaustion in her fading irises as the night her son was slaughtered in front of her.

"Just a few reminders" your sister's voice was cheery like the chirping of early morning birds, but her face mimicked that of a kicked puppies. "Remember when the prince...fae...when he..you know...Oh, Lord please tell me he won't" She was shivering again. Her face twisted in horror. You knew what she was thinking, she was imagining you laying in the bed of that...that thing. She was imagining him entering you, kissing up and down your neck. Leaving patches of red skin over smooth flesh, bruises wherever his clawed hands touched you. She was imagining what was no doubt going to happen to you tonight...

the mere thought made bile rise to your throat.

"Darling, just keep saying how much you like it. It's all any man wants to hear." again your aunt or rather her lackluster form of speech was the rope binding you to your sanity.

"Do fae even have...those parts like humans do?" Your sister asked, only to be met with a glare from your aunt. "Stop wasting time on pointless questions! Hurry up and see if this dress fits your sister."

Sure enough, as you were escorted to where the thorn bushes met the village, two men, one standing tall and proud, whilst the other looked like he may topple over from fatigue at any moment, were awaiting you.

The green-haired man let out a haughty laugh, his blazing eyes scanning you from head to toe. "She's hardly worthy of the young master!" His dreadful voice was like the booming of thunder clouds. "It doesn't matter, Malleus-sama needs to be wedded off quickly so he can produce an heir. None of us are getting any younger by standing here debating the "worthiness" of yet another measly human" the silver-haired male's voice was the exact opposite of his comrades, his voice was soft and breathy like light drizzle after a storm.

The green-haired man looked ready to argue once more, but before he could open his mouth, his violet-eyed counterpart waved something thin in the air casing a pathway to open between the hedges.

It was dark between the brambles. The air was thick, stuffy, every breath was a struggle. Although it seemed neither of your traveling buddies minded the discomfort. Did fae even need air to survive?

After what could have been no less than a couple of hours, your small group made it to a large clearing where only a few rays of the sun leaked through the thick smoky clouds. Miss matched flowers in shades of grey littered the rocky barren ground. Maybe at some point, this place had been beautiful, stunning even...but whenever that time had been it was long gone now.

As you ventured farther into this monochrome land of loss and sorrow, the three of you approached a castle. It towered over everything else, grim in all its glory. "Young master Malleus is awaiting you inside..." The green-haired male's voice trailed off as his speech was interrupted by the deafening creaking of the doors parting open. Without another word the two men dragged you inside, pushing you through spiral staircases and long bleak passageways. Until you arrived at a lavish-looking room, a large throne sitting smugly in the front of the room. It's black, spiked appearance was enough to make you gasp in horror, you didn't desire to meet the monster that perched atop that throne. "Don't be so afraid." the silver-haired man whispers, his head is almost resting on your shoulder. "Malleus-sama is kind and fair. He is sure to love you better than any human ever could." you catch a hint of nostalgic sadness in the last part, like a long lost part of the lavender eyed boy's past caught in his throat like a glass shard.

Trumpets roared through the room blaring as two men, one short and fickle whilst the other tall and brooding walked in. "Malleus~" The short one sang as they both stopped in front of you "Say hello to your lovely new wife." the tall man's emerald eyes landed on you. His lips parted in a threatening smile...or maybe it was a smirk? He didn't seem to be too good at displaying emotions. Slowly he descended onto one knee, slipping your hand into his and kissing the top lightly.

"Hello, my darling little wife."

🧡🦁Leona Kingscholar🦁🧡

The After Glow Savanna was an absolute hell to be born in if your family did not belong to some royal inner court class. The endless days spent scavenging for scraps of food, walking miles for a simple glass of water, had become a sort of broken, habit beaten into the residents of the smaller less fortunate districts.

Eventually, you too would follow in your parent's footsteps, working odd jobs around the neighborhood, getting married to some guy, having kids, and giving them the same dreary life your parents had given you. It was simple -miserable- but simple never the less. In an odd way, you found a sort of comfort in how everything was set in stone. How you'd suffer through a few years then die of starvation or some disease in your husband's arms.

But little did you know that the only comfort you had in your horrible life was also going to be swiped from you.

When Ruggie, a dear childhood friend of yours returned from his prestigious school for the winter holidays you were overjoyed! A week with your best friend was the greatest gift you could ask for! But that excitement soon dulled when he announced to the neighborhood what the royal family had planned for the underdeveloped parts of the country.

"They want to demolish the homes and build parks and shopping strips instead"

The people of your tiny community gasped, shock and hopelessness mixing over their dirty, worn out faces. Some older siblings shielded the ears of their younger kin, some mothers hugged their children closer to their chests. "They can't do that to us!" Your voice was like a beacon through the thick fog of confusion. "We can't let them!" You turned to Ruggie who was seated next to you. His blue-grey eyes held a foreign sadness that you had never seen before. He was hiding something...something so grim that he was forced to shove it into the depths of his soul, locking it up and throwing away the key.

"There is a way..."

For such a hopeful phrase, Ruggie's tone harbored no happiness. You could practically see the tears that were clouding his beautiful eyes. "Tell us" someone from the crowd demanded, others soon joined in with their own chants. For a long moment, Ruggie said nothing, the shouts of despair falling on deaf ears.

"If.." his voice trailed off, as his gaze grew distant.

"If someone from the neighborhood were to marry the second prince..." Gasps of fear filled the air. Even the mere mention of the second prince's name was enough to send chills down people's spins.

"Then they could, as the newly appointed  princess, convince the royal family and counsel to scrap this monstrous plan." No one uttered another word. No one was brave enough to face the man who could destroy anything with a simple touch.

But the sake of these people, people who had nothing but their families and a muddy roof over their head was on the line.

Do something, a tiny voice in your head screamed, save them, it begged. You shifted your head so to get a glimpse of Ruggie's face. "I-" you began but were cut off before you could even finish.

"I know you would say that."

His voice broke over every syllable. He knew you would give up your depressing nostalgia for the sake of others. Life in the castle would be hell, being married to that monster would be something worst than the dwellings of the devil.

It was a speedy arrangement, so fast that your head didn't have time to process anything. In the end, it almost seemed like the royal family was desperate to find a spouse for their youngest son.

Just marry him! Was what all the absentee looks told you.

Early that morning, Ruggie had dragged you to the castle, all tears, and grumbles. The palace guards let him in with no restrain, it almost felt like he'd been here before. Your childhood friend led you to a room in the further corner of a grand hall. He told you to stay outside as he went in to chat with the prince. Moments later the newly appointed king and queen came to usher you into a privet room and discuss the marriage. Not an hour later your fate had been sealed, you'd be married off to prince Leona tomorrow at sunrise. For "historical purposes" your neighborhood would be preserved and even taken care of. 'Historical purposes' you thought 'more the like a bribe to get you to marry this beast.

that night you were dragged this way and that by the queen herself. Taken for fitting after fitting. Trying on hundreds of wedding dresses who's prices could feed every mouth in your neighborhood for months! "Leona isn't very classy" the queen sighed in disappear. "He would probably prefer you to be in something laxer, shorter if you will" the tailors ran around trying to find something that would fit her vague description, as you stood facing her royal highness.

"What's he like?" you asked soullessly

"Spoiled, although not as heartless as the rumors make him out to be"  She didn't seem to like giving straight answers

"will he harm me? It was an honest question, although the lack of thinking it took before the queen replied made your heart skipped a beat.

"Quite possibly, he is rather...aggressive at times. Just don't let his degrading comments get to you. He's not used to being around people"

The more she described the second-born prince the more it seemed she was actually speaking of some feral dog that had raised in isolation.

Oh, how doomed you were.

The wedding was even faster than the preparation. Ruggie walked you down an aisle of flowers, walking over the petals, killing them once and for all, ending their pointless existence. You stood by your self at the altar awaiting your husband to be. It took a rather long time before the doors were flung open and the king waltzed in carrying his struggling brother under his arm. "No need to worry, Leona was taking one of his catnaps again and forgot about today's events" the king announced, in what could only be described as a mock lively tone.

How on earth does someone forget their wedding! This prince really wasn't a typical human...heck you where beginning to think that the feral dog would have made a better groom.

snap, snap

A few magazine pictures here, a couple of family photos there...

Everything was so bright and loud...

right before you and the second prince were thrown into the darkness of his room. In the obscurity, you could ONLY make out the glowing of his emerald eyes.

You could feel him shifting closer, all the while you took shaking steps backwards. " I thought wives were supposed to leap into the arms of their husbands? Tell me little herbivore do I frighten you?"

Your voice refused to leave your throat, too afraid to come into contact with the prince.

"What's the matter? Did they not teach you to speak in on the streets you grew up on. Poor thing~"

Leona pounced across the room, tackling you to the ground. His sheer weight pinning you to the carpeted floor. The sound of fabric tearing echoed through the silence.

How careless these royal were was the only intelligible thought that came to your frenzied brain.

Goosebumps littered your skin as Leona's claws cut into your flesh. His lips kissed over each wound as he made his way up to your cherry painted lips.

"You look so cute, you know, like a little mouse about to get devoured by a starving lion."

💙💀Idia Shroud💀💙

The rhythm of his heartbeat was slowing down, it felt like the patter of ants atop one's flesh. He was dying...this was an irreversible fact. The love of your life was dying and there was nothing you could do but sit idly by and watch the life fade from his pale bruised face. Your thumb ran over his knuckles in robotic-like strokes. Hours had passed, you'd shed all the tears that you had. He was gone...that was all there was to it.

For a hopeless second, you flicked your eyes to the open window on the opposite side of the room, There was never any sun on the island of lamination but regardless today seemed brighter than any other day. "How cruel" you muttered in a deadpan voice. Outside something...or better yet...someone was running through the fields, chasing what looked like a butterfly. The young child had blazing blue hair a symbol of the Shroud family...

THE SHROUD FAMILY

Your breath hitch in your lungs, your heart began to pound furiously in your chest. They could help you though hopefully. There family where distant relatives of the god of the underworld and a few years back -to your regulation- the hair of the family had been able to semi revive his younger brother. If he was able to bring back a child from the dead than surly they would have no problem returning your lost lover to you.

Your eyes waltz over his dormant face one last time before you got up and ran for the door.

"This is all for you my love, all of this is for you"

The Shroud family mansion was located at the top of one of the many hills that plagued the island. It was a dark grisly building that resembled the castles from old tales, where monsters laid dormant. Rumors spiraled around the rural civilization, some saying that the family was cursed by the lord of the dead, whilst others claimed that the shroud family were the long lost descendants of the lord of the dead and the maiden of spring. The curse had been placed on the family by the temperamental mother of the maiden of spring, anathematizing the family to be plagued with death and disappear for the rest of eternity.

Regardless of what their misfortune was, they may very well be the last people on earth who could help you. Surely if the family had brought back their youngest than they could bring back your lover!

You knuckles tapped furiously at the old metal doors of the frightful residence. The rhythm was unkept, unsteady, it's mere sound radiated urgency.

"PLEASE HELP ME"

Your throat burned as you screamed out those three lousy words.

After what felt like forever, the doors cracked open, revealing a tall man obscured by the shadows. Any light that touched the interior of the house seemed to die acidity, making peering inside nearly impossible.

"What business do you have?" The man's voice was croaky as if his vocal cords hadn't been used in years. For a split second, you closed your eyes, trying to organize the thoughts in your head. "My...my...h-hus...lover, my lover is d-dead...o-or rather he is dying....probably fully gone by now..." despite the mess of stuttered letters and mixed-up words, the man seemed to understand your situation. With a long sigh, he pulled you into the somber house.

Fingers still wrapped tightly around your wrist he pulled you around, guiding you through the darkness until you reached a large room lit only by the mysterious blue flames of the fireplace. Sitting by the warmth was a...well it was hard to tell, her face -despite it displaying every bone of her visage coupled with dark sunken eyes- resembled that of a woman no older than thirty, whilst her body resembled a decaying skeleton. What was she? Was she the lady of the residence or yet another monster this bizarre family had created.

"My, love" the man began to speak, his voice was somehow cleared like it had been given some sort of jolt. "This young lady needs Idia's help, she wants to bring back her lover from the dead."

The woman said nothing, her eyes staring ahead, burning a hole in the wall right by your head. "What will she give him in return" despite her "deteriorating" appearance her voice was like soft silk on one's skin, melodious and fair.

"Why herself!" This time the man's voice boomed across the house, echoing through the hallways and falling on you like a cave in.

"M-myself! What the hell do you mean!"

"It sounds fair" the women agreed "my darling sweet son saves your lover and instead you agree to marry him! Oh how wonderful, just like in the tales about grandfather Hades!"

She seemed too thrilled about this, her snow-white eyes gleaming with a sort of delusional passion.

"Idia! Idia honey! Come down your father has a surprise for you!"

The hollow sound of footsteps soon filled the quiet air. Followed by another soft blue glow.

Was there no normal fire in this house?

But it wasn't fire, not exactly. When your eyes fell on the heir of the Shroud family, you suddenly felt a nervous wave crash over you. There was something -even more- unsettling about him, he looked nothing like his charming little brother. For one his hair wasn't...well hair! Sure you'd expect a small batch of blazes heading upwards but this was something else entirely! It resembled a large bonfire that floated towards the ground, rouge sparks falling in every which direction, sizzling and then dying abandoned on the floor. And his eyes, Miosis like pupils floating around in a pool of lemon yellow.

But all the physical appearances aside, the most unsettling thing about him was the gloomy aura that leaked off him, suffocating anyone in his presence. Nervously you took a step back only to be yanked forward again by the taller man.

"Idia baby!" His mother ran over to him, cradling his hands in hers "This cute young lady has agreed to marry you if you can save her lover, just like in that old tale about your great grandfather! Oh, my this is all so romantic!"

It seemed like no one here understood that you were in love WITH SOMEONE ELSE! Or maybe they did and chose to disregard it. Instead, using the bits they retained as kindling to feed their raw excitement. You shifted your gaze back to Idia's face. To your utter terror, he was...smiling? Could that...look...even be called a smile? It seemed more like the way a shark would bare its teeth at a defenseless seal! Oh, gods please don't let this...thing...be your future husband!

"It should be easy enough," His golden gaze landed on you "W-when did...did he die?" it took a few moments before you register that he was talking to you or technically asking you something. "A...A  few..." your voice cracked, tears streaming down your eyes.

"So recently...okay that shouldn't be a p-problem." He turned on his heels and walked back into the seclusion of the halls "I'll grab some things and meet you by the front door"

A few things ended up being a pile of wires and bolts. Something that looked like a light blue ball of energy and so many tools whose names seemed to go over your head.

Idia was kneeling by your lover's bed, pulling apart the skin and fusing metal in its place. Your darling's chest was cracked open, his ribs poking out towards the sky as if praying for life from the lord of the sky. Every once in awhile Idia would pull out a long tool with smoke floating from the top. He'd lay it on an organ watching as the tissue fiber sizzled away under the heat. He would then tie wires and small circular batteries inside.

"His heart stopped working, I'm guessing from some sort of shock"

You just hummed in response, too caught up in how the man you loved was beginning to look like a modern-day Frankenstein rather than a human being.

The sun had long since faded when Idia finally got up from his spot. His bones cracked and screeched at the sudden change, his muscles giving out halfway leaving him to rely on the wall for support to stand. Your lover's chest had been sewn back and covered with a silver piece of metal. His neck was wrapped in the same sort of alloy. His left arm had been cut open so Idia could shove the energy ball inside than cover it, leaving a small enough gap for wires that stretched from his chest to weld into the ball.

"He just needs a boost" Idia murmured that shark-like grin overtaking his pale face once more. From the side table, he plucked up to jumper cables and clipped them on either side of his neck. Jolts and crackles filled the room and sparks flew in every direction, the once-dead body shuffled around, arms and legs moving at random. You shrieked and duck behind Idia.

Only then did he pry the clips from his neck.

Nothing

for too long nothing happened... then there was a slight wiggle in one finger, then another. His eyes slowly began to prey open, looking over his surroundings. The moment his confused gaze feel onto you. Idia turned you around to face him, clumsily smashing his blue chapped lips onto yours.

From the corner of his eyes, Idia watched as the other man began to understand what was happening...even if he was just resurrected there was still agony at the sight of his lover kissing another...

Good! That should show him who you belonged to now!

[martianbugsbunny]

OUAT Thoughts Pt.16--Episodes 12-13

I have watched through S2E13; spoilers DNI. Also, spoiler warning for those further behind than I am.

—Rumple von Stiltskin, what an idiot *affectionately*

—I still love Dr. Frankenstein’s world being in black and white. I also love that Rumplestiltskin is in full color when he visits. Also, those red clothes are fine.

—I’m sure they were chosen in a process similar to how Judy Garland’s slippers for the Wizard of Oz were changed from silver to red to show off the new color technology. Red does look so lovely on camera, especially when it’s saturated off its ass.

—Goshdarnit, Hook isn’t dead. He would’ve had it coming.

—Also, a guy this slimy? I don’t really believe that he could experience true love. First of all, who would fall for him? Second, has he ever felt a genuine emotion in his entire life?

—The paramedics that showed up to the crash site bring up an interesting point. Have some of Storybrooke’s residents gone through the proper training to become paramedics, nurses, doctors, etc., since their memories were returned, or are they just running on the memories of when they were programmed by the curse to do those jobs? Someone (I think it was Regina) even mentioned sarcastically a couple of episodes ago that Archie’s psych degree was given to him by the curse. Or if Archie breaks his glasses, is there anyone in town who has a clue how to fix them? Or if a glasses wearer needs a new prescription? And regardless of their capability, there’s no way any of the businesses in this town are entirely legal.

—I feel terribly for Belle. Sneezy had his life as a pharmacist to revert to when he lost his memories of being a dwarf. Belle has nothing to remember but being locked in the basement for twenty-eight years.

—She broke the cup! *is emotionally damaged*

—Dr. Frankenstein has somehow become a compelling and tragic character. I didn’t really care about him before, but now I want to see him get back to his brother. Also, if he and Red dated, I don’t think I would completely hate that. They kinda vibe together.

—If people who aren’t in the book (such as Frankenstein) got cursed, could we have Mary Poppins show up?

—I love that there was some shade about Frankenstein being the name attached to the monster, rather than the guy, in the collective human consciousness.

—Regina’s mausoleum office is phat. I mean, it was cool before, when it was in the mayoral building or whatever, but it gets extra points for being underneath a tomb.

—Anton is a really sweet guy. And I don’t blame him for being down on humans; I kinda hate humans sometimes too. And humans didn’t trick me into accidentally leading them to my house so they could kill my entire family and steal from me.

—Fricking Jack being from Wonderland burns me. And to have her be the person who killed the Jabberwock? She’s not worthy of such an honor. That poem was epic.

—I love that Anton’s got the dwarves to hang out with now. Also, Tiny being his dwarf name got me right in the feels.

—The oldest brother (at least I assume he was the oldest) was that big orderly—I think his name was Jerry?—from ER. Which is also a great show (at least until the last couple of seasons; then it kinda sucks).

—Mr. Gold Goes To The Airport™ was an awfully distressing segment. He can’t use magic; he almost forgot who he was; he has no clue about planes or airport security…it was terrible. Also, he’s right—having to take off your shoes is uncivilized. Bit of a side note, but I’ve never flown before, and I’m pretty sure I would also freak out if I ever do.

—I appreciate that Emma is being, if not quite nice, then understanding. She’s very brusque, but she’s a good person, and for someone often lacking in tact she’s pretty compassionate.

—Mr. Gold promising to look after Emma and Henry (for Charming) while they’re on their not-so-fun quest was nice. Even if he was kind of salty about it, his expression reflected that he was thinking of his own kid, which is exactly the right kind of human touch to give him.

—Charming’s brother was a proper asshole. A philandering, overindulgent, two-faced, thieving man-child. There is no redeeming quality there.

—Snow having a modern bow in Storybrooke amuses me. That, and the fact that she likes life or death adventures. She’s nuts *adoringly* I also love that she would rather stay in Storybrooke with Emma than go back to the fairytale world.

—I don’t trust the new guy. He’s going to ruin everything.

—It’s an interesting take to have Belle being essentially institutionalized for thinking she saw magic….IN A TOWN THAT IS LITERALLY MAGIC. It’s like if that Oz followup movie where Dorothy was in the asylum was set in Oz, and they were all trying to gaslight her because she lost her memories.

—At least it seems plausible that Mr. Gold might eventually get to see his son again at some point. That and Anton getting to be a lil bit happy are the two wins from these episodes.

Depending on whether or not I watch the Andor premiere tomorrow, I may not have time for OUAT. Also, Thursday I have an evening obligation to go to, so I probably won’t be able to watch OUAT then either. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but sad.