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introvertllux · 4 years ago

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Peace in Normalcy: Chapter Seven

(The chapter is told from Prue’s point of view. Anytime, that you see italicized words, that means Prue is speaking via her internal monologue).

Genre: Romance, Drama, Comedy, Comedy-Drama

Warnings: 18+, depictions of mental health, mental disorders, depression, suicide, and sexual abuse. (Please do not read, if you may be triggered).

*Any depictions of mental health are based on MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. Please do not think I’m making fun or mocking anyone, again these experiences are based on what I have seen and or been through myself. Also, I am not intending to romanticize mental health or disorders in anyway. Lastly, If you do decided to read this story I am very thankful and I hope you enjoy it. : )

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Prue’s P.O.V

Monday, October 28, 2019

“Hello, Prue. How are you doing today?” Dr. Salomon asked. “I’m okay, I guess,” I responded back.

“You, guess?” He questions as he raised his right eyebrow.

“I mean… yes and no?” I said sounding unsure.

“Well, why don’t you start sharing with me how things have been going since we’ve last met.” He said.

“Okay, well I went to my sister and brother-in-law’s annual Halloween party. I had so much anxiety going to it in the first place. I really didn’t want to, but I figured this would be a way to push myself out of my comfort zone and start to rekindle my relationship with my sister.” I said.

“What made you uncomfortable about going?” He asked me.

“I hate crowds of people. I’m introverted… I rather read a book, work on some art, or watch a movie or even binge watch a tv series than to be surrounded by a mass number of drunk strangers and loud music. I get anxious being around strangers, not knowing them or their intentions I guess…” I responded.

“Hmm… which is expected when you experience a lot of trauma in your past. You begin to question people’s intentions especially when they are strangers but that becomes a problem when you try to form a relationship with someone and they show you their intentions and if they’re positive and you still don’t trust them that will be detrimental to the relationship.” He said.

“That’s absolutely true. And- you know after going to the hospital and coming out I just realized that I’m questioning everyone. I feel almost paranoid. I have to question if my family is treating me nicely because they think I will explode at any moment, harm myself, or even run away. I-I feel as though my mind is starting to blur the lines between what’s real and what’s in my head.” I said feeling upset with myself.

“From what you’ve shared these past couples of sessions I don’t think you’re paranoid at all. I believe you are finding a way to express how you feel. You have a lot of pent up emotions that you’ve been holding on for many, many, years. You have a right to feel this way. You are entitled to feel how you want to feel, Prue.” Dr. Salomon.

“I-I just don’t want to seem as though I’m blaming everyone around me for my issues. Maybe I can’t move forward because, in reality, I don’t want too. Maybe I’m just the problem.” I said, now feeling ashamed of myself.

“I don’t think you are blaming anyone but yourself. Don’t you think it’s about time that you hold the people around you accountable for the mistake that they’ve made that has resulted in how your childhood came to be? I’m not saying they take all of the blame. But for years you have carried all this weight of guilt, shame, trauma, all alone when you weren’t in this on your own.” He stated.

I stared at him as I realized the truth in what he had said.

“Prue… you are not a problem. You are just a person with them. Just like you, I have problems of my own, your parents do, your sister does too. Everyone does. Nothing in this life comes without problems. But it’s how you choose to deal with those problems it what really matters.” He said.

I looked at him with a small smile, “You’re right. I have to change my perception of things. I have to put into the world what I want out of it.” I said.

Dr. Salomon nodded him as he sat up his respective love seat and asked, “Not to change the subject, but I would like to focus more on your interactions with others. Did you have any interactions with anyone at the Halloween party.”

“Um, not a first no. I almost had a panic attack for sure… When I looked around the room and saw everyone I started to feel overwhelmed and scared. As I stated before I don’t like crowds and I’m very skeptical of strangers and aside from my sister and my brother-in-law I didn’t know anyone there.”

“But I would have to say the beginning of my panic attack started when I was looking around and I saw someone that looked like Jaxson to me. I- I didn’t want to believe it was him. I didn’t think Mallory or Jahmal knew him. But then again, we live in a small town. I blinked so many times trying to snap myself out of it. B-but I just kept seeing him standing there, drink in his hand, just staring at me with the smug and dangerous look in his eyes and that smirk.” I said as I began to recall the memory. I took a deep breath, trying my best not to panic once again.

“So, you felt like you saw Jaxson there, which made you panic. But you did not have a panic attack?” He clarified. I nodded my head yes.

“Okay, so what stopped you from having a panic attack?” He asked.

“I-I was snapped out of it by Frank. It was strange. I wasn’t scared or alarmed by him or the fact that he was a male that I barely knew. I just was- in a weird way comforted by him. He didn’t traditionally approach me, but the fact that he saw that something was wrong with me out of all people there is…what had comforted me. If that makes sense.” I said trying to be as clear as possible.

“Ah, I see. It seems that despite having traumatic experience in the past with males, it seems that you’ve taken a liking to him. Is it too early to say that you may even trust him?” Dr. Salomon questioned.

“I-I mean so far with him I’ve done things and have acted so unlike me? I don’t know. We spent the whole rest of the night joking and talking. He even pranked my mom’s rival, for disliking me. I- I don’t know that’s a lest how I took it. If it was any other guy I wouldn’t have gone. But he makes me feel normal? Again, I don’t know if it’s because he’s gone to the hospital and so have I and maybe he gets it. But I just feel like I’m not being judged or treated a certain way because of my mental health. Maybe he’s pitying me because I’m a female and I’m younger than him?” I said I continued to ramble.

“Have you considered the possibility that maybe it’s okay for you to like someone. Romantically or not. Have you considered that it’s okay for you to have “normal” things like a crush?” He asked.

“I did, once. I thought I was going to have that with Jaxson. I thought he would be the best thing that’s ever happened to me but he- “I said before Dr. Salomon interrupted me.

“Stole from you.” Dr. Salomon, he said completing my sentence.

“Yeah. He took what I thought could be something I’ve thought about, dreamt about, and he twisted it into something evil and wicked. That experience made me not trust men. Every so often I think of my parents, my sister, or even couples I’ve seen around, and I think about how that could be me but then… I just get these flashbacks of Jaxson and what he did to me. I think about another guy doing that to me. I don’t want to think about Frank in that way. But I don’t know him so what if he starts off nice like Jaxson and does the same things as him? I mean when I was hanging out with Frank I didn’t think about Jaxson or the things he did. I didn’t even have any thoughts about Frank hurting me. But… it’s still possible.” I said.

“Prue, I’ll tell you this. No matter what you have gone through or what you will face in the future, you never, ever let someone still your joy. He may have taken what you wanted at that time but what about now. You have the opportunity to change all of that. A second chance. You cannot waste it on what-ifs and comparisons to people who have hurt you. You have to grab the bull by its horns and ride the wave of life. You have to start living the life you want to live.” He said.

I looked at him again as I listened intently.

“When are you going to decide to live?” He said lastly.

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I stood outside of the library as I pulled out my cell phone and looked at the time. It was 10:45 AM. I let both Dr. Salomon and my parents know that I had to leave my appointment early (of course for different reasons). It was harder to explain to my parents why they needed to pick me up 15 minutes early and drop me off at the library.

To be completely honest, I wasn’t ready to let anyone besides Dr. Salomon know that I have a job. I knew my family would freak out. They would say things along the lines of I wasn’t ready or how much of a terrible idea it was. Ultimately, we would all end up auguring and creating more tension between us. No, I’m not a fan of keeping secrets but if I don’t start making decisions based on what I want and what I think is going to benefit in the long run them what’s the point. It’s time that I stop living life for everyone else and I start living for me.

As I entered the library, I noticed how unusually quiet it was. I was a little surprised considering it was around lunchtime for the staff and faculty at the school and most of the workers from the local shops around town and they would usually be the library for their breaks. Though I was a little surprised, I was mostly relieved. I’m really worried about how my first day will go. Will I see someone I know? Will something happen to trigger me? Or will I just do such a terrible job today and end up losing it? All these thoughts and more spiraled around in my head as I made my way to Mrs. Whitaker’s office.

I knocked twice on her door before I heard a soft, “Come in.” I opened the door and allowed myself in.

“Good Morning, Dear. Early, as usual, I see.” Mrs. Whitaker said with a sweet smile as she glanced at the antique clock that was placed right above her office door.

“Good Morning. How are you.” I responded back.

“I’m alive, aren’t I?” She responded back with a hint of sass.

I giggle slightly at her. Ah, she’s still the same old Mrs. Whitaker.

“Prue. Since it is a pretty slow day and it is your first day the task that I will assign you to will be pretty simple. I want you to go around the different sections and make sure that books are placed alphabetically where they belong. Then, I want you to go to the “Returned Books” bin and place them where they belong. Then I want you to place this art show flayers around the library. Lastly, I want you to hand up the Halloween decorations around the library and of course be ready and willing to help anyone who needs help finding something.” She ended her instructions with a smile.

I stood still and I listened to her speak about the assignments she wanted me to complete today. In reality, what she wanted me to do wasn’t challenging or demanding at all. However, I started to overthink about what she wanted me to do. What if I direct someone to the wrong place? What if I misplace a book or hang up signs in the wrong area?

“Prue.”

“Prue!”

“Uh. I got it.” I said as I was startled out of my jumbled thoughts.

Mrs. Whitaker then grabbed both of my hands in hers and spoke, “Prue. You are going to do great. You can do this. I hired because I know you have all the skills and capabilities to excel at this job and more. So, go out there and do what we both know you are more than capable.” She said encouragingly.”

Could I do this? I haven’t worked in months.

Before my thought began to spiral again, I felt a stack of papers being placed in my hands.

“These are the flyers. You can find some tape to hang them on the cart outside of my office along with the Halloween decorations. I’ll be in my office if you need me.” She said as I made my way outside of the office.

When I came to just about everything in my life I loved to be organized. So, of course, that includes my job. I planned out in my head where I wanted to start first. I figured that making sure that the shelved books were in order goes hand in hand with placing the returned books in their proper place. Which leaves hanging up the flyers and decorating which both require the use of tape so I will group those tasks together.

I then made my way over to the return bin in the front of the library. I then begin to place the books on the cart. Afterward, I took them and arranged them alphabetically by author and then neatly stacked in piles in the order by the aisle/genres they belong in. Next, I rolled the cart to the first aisle, then middle aisles, and finally the last one.

I glanced at the huge grandfather clock that was placed in the back of the library. It was only 12:15 PM. I still had roughly six hours until my shift was over and only two more tasks left to do. I couldn’t be so quick to hang up the flyers or decorations or I will be left with nothing to do for hours.

I decided that I would roll the cart around the library and perhaps someone would need my help. I walked up and down the library for about an hour before I felt a hand grip my shoulder. I jumped as I felt the hand tighten around my shoulder.

I let out a noise that was similar to a whimper as I began to shake slightly. A few seconds later, I felt the hand quickly detach itself from my shoulder. I turned around and faced the person that had touched me seconds ago. My eyes roamed his face as he spoke.

“I-I’m sorry. I- you work, here don’t you. I just wanted to know where I can find this book. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said.

My eyes narrowed as I began to step back until my back came against the cart I had been pushing around. I grabbed my shoulder as I closed my eyes and exhaled.

“It-it’s fine. I’m happy to help. Just please don’t touch me again.” I said sternly.

He nodded his head and kept his distance. Which I was relieved about.

He then proceeds to tell me the name and the author of the book. I immediately directed him to the section it would be located at. I didn’t even wait for his response before I quickly grabbed the cart and zoomed out of the aisle. I went to the back of the library and pulled the cart over to the side as I took a sip of water from the fountain.

I then racked my hands through my hair. Trying to erase what just happened to me.

It’s okay. He’s not Jaxson. That wasn’t him. He’s not here. I kept saying over and over in my head to try and soothe myself. I took a deep breath in and let it out quietly.

Get it together Prue. You’re at work. You-you got this.

I smoothed down my hair strands and brushed off my top and proceeded to get back to work. I decided that since it’s almost 1:30 PM I should get a start on placing the flyers around the library. I took small pieces of tape and began to place them on the cart (so that I didn’t have to hold the flyer and then try to rip off a piece of tape). I began with the back of the library. I placed each flyer about 7 ft apart so that they weren’t too close together but there were still enough of them being showcased.

Before I started the middle section of the library. I took one of the flyers and analyzed it. I would love to enter this contest. It would be a dream come true. But it’s been so long. Right now, I’ve just gotten back into art. I don’t think I have a chance of even getting past round one and to top it all of the themes is, “Self-Discovery” how ironic. Maybe this is a sign?

I continue to contemplate whether or not I wanted to enter the contest as I rolled the cart to the middle section of the library and began to hang the flyers. From this section on, I wanted to take my time placing the flyers up. Before I knew it an hour and forty-five minutes had past and it was 2:45 PM had past and I was in the front section of the library handing my last few flyers.

This is when Mrs. Whitaker approached me saying that I could take my lunch break. I didn’t bring any lunch with me. I wasn’t hungry anyway, but my feet did hurt a little. I decided to tape the last two flyers on the outside of the library doors and then go take a seat in my nook area.

I signed as I got comfortable in my nook area with my headphones in and as the playlist of my favorite music.

After a while, I looked down at my phone and saw that I only had five minutes left of my break. Boy, I couldn’t be gladder that my break was an hour-long. It helped to shorten the day and allowed me a moment to recharge. I got up and pushed the cart around this time placing the Halloween themed decals, lights, and posters around this section of the library.

I continued doing this until every part of the library was festively decorated. I looked around at the clock in the front section of the library and saw that it was 5:45. It took a while to hang up all of these decorations but I was proud of myself for doing so and I was glad it took so long because I wanted to go home. I thought I’d never say that.

“Prue!” I heard my name being yelled slightly. I turned my head in the direction I was being called and saw Mrs. Whitaker walk up to me.

“Before you get ready to go. I wanted to give this to you.” She said as she handed the art contest flyer to me.

“I-“I started to speak before she interrupted me. “Stop. Before you say anything. We both know how talented you are when it comes to art. Talent isn’t even the right word. It’s your gift. And you ought to be ashamed of yourself if you let an opportunity as big as this one pass and you don’t share it to the world.” She said with a stern tone as she stood with her hands on her hips.

“I gave her an unsure look, but I still took the flyer in my hands. “Oh, before I forget, that you come in at 8:00 AM and leave at 4:00 PM every day except Mondays from now on, this includes Halloween as well. And have a good night, get home safely.” She said as she turned to leave.

“Thank you. Goodnight, I hope you get home safe.” I said back and went to quickly put the cart back outside of her office.

As I exited out of the library, I had completely forgotten that I never told my parents I was going to be late for dinner. Fuck.

I quickly grabbed my phone. I didn’t see any messages from them which could only mean I’m screwed. I quickly texted them, that I was at the library still and was on my way home. I could only hope that they aren’t too angry at me. I really don’t want to fight or argue with them. Not now, not ever.

I sprinted home as quickly as I could. I arrived home in half the time that I usually would. I took deep breaths as soon as I reached the front lawn of my house.

I may be slim but I’m far from in shape that’s for sure.

I grabbed my keys and unlocked the front door. I entered the door and took off my sneakers. I listen out for any noise on the main floor of the house. I heard the sounds of small laughter. I quietly walked past the kitchen.

“Prue!” I heard my dad yell. I immediately stood up straight and hid the flyer behind my back.

“Hi, Dad,” I said trying not to sound suspicious.

“Why don’t you join your mother and me for dinner. We’ve just started.” He said with a smile on his face.

I looked between his face and my mother’s. They both seemed to be in a good mood. Which I don’t trust at all. I folded the flyer behind my back and placed it in my jean pocket.

“Okay, sure,” I said as I sat in my usual seat. I plated myself and began to eat the spaghetti and meatballs that sat before me.

“I’m sorry that I was late,” I said.

“That’s okay. Your mother and I get how important it is to you.” My dad said with a smile.

I didn’t really put too much thought into what he was saying. Like I said before dad was always the person that covered up everything. You would think that with him pretending all these years he would get rid of the signs that gave him away. For example, his posture is a little tense, he is smiling way too much, and he’s conducting small talking to try and maintain some peace.

My main focus was on my mother. She’s silent. Which is deadly in this household.

I wish we could have a normal dinner at this house. But I guess this is our normal.

“So… how was the library.” He asked. Here we go.

“It was fine. The same as it always is.” I responded back as I twirled some spaghetti around my fork.

“Come on, Pru-Pru there must be something you do at the library.” He said trying to get to further elaborate.

This is exactly what I’m talking about. My parents love to play games. Since I’ve come home they’ve said time and time again that they would do better. That they would try to understand and then they do this. This is their tag team game. Dad starts with his innocent nice guy act to try d lure you into admitting something. Then my mother will come in for the kill and start yelling, lecturing you, and accusing of things you didn’t do. But not this time. I refuse to let them continue to treat me like a child. As much as I despise it, I will play their game.

“Yeah dad, I read. You know at the library.” I said sarcastically.

“I’ve never heard of reading taking six hours Prue.” My mother chimed in coldly.

“Well, just because you never heard of it doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened. Some people can finish a book in a day or even a short few hours. Why is that a problem?” I continue to say as I ate my food.

“Because it isn’t normal. No one spends days on end in the library and just reads only. There’s something else. Something else is going on.” She accused.

I remained silent as I continued to eat my food determined not to break my composure.

“Is there someone? A guy you like?” She pried.

My eyes widened as I stopped eating.

“What?” I said quietly.

“A man, Prue. Are you seeing some- “She said before I interrupted her. “No! Mom I’m not!” I yelled angrily.

“Prue, if you are, we need to talk about it. We- we know dating hasn’t been the same with you since Ja-.” She starts to say.

“No!” I said as I slam my hands on the dining room table. I push my seat out and stood up. “Don’t! Don’t you dare say that name! I-I’m not doing this shit right now.” I said enraged.

I walked away and ran upstairs to my bedroom. I quickly grabbed my medication and walked to my bathroom. I turned on the faucet and took the pill. I then walked over to my bed and laid down, trying not to think about my parents or Jaxson.

Thursday, October 31, 2019

I arrived at the library early as usual. So far this week, I have been doing pretty much the same things I have been doing since Monday, which was organizing books and helping out people who need it. I haven’t done much.

Today was Halloween and typically, the library would have some small events that catered to children such as read-aloud and giving out candy. I used to love being here and volunteering to do the read-aloud and give out candy but ever since my breakdown I’ve been afraid of interacting with anyone especially children. I scarred a child for life by blacking out on them. Right now, I can’t promise that won’t happen again.

I oftentimes wonder what happened to the child that I blacked out on. I hope he’s okay. I hope he’s doing well in school. I hope he’s happy. But… I guess I’ll never because I can’t go anywhere near him or the school.

Thinking about what transpired at work makes me feel as though I shouldn’t have children of my own. If I can’t get myself together why should I risk ruining another human’s life? Sometimes… at night when I can get some sleep, I dream about what life would be like when I’m healed when I finally take full control of my life when I’m finally happy. In those dreams, I have a huge family. I four kids. Two of each gender. They’re wonderful and they love me just as much as I do them and my husband is just as wonderful and amazing as they are. And he loves me for me.

If only my dreams could come true.

I continued to work up until my lunch break. Where again, I didn’t pack a lunch. I still have yet to get readjusted to eating lunch at a job. I spent my lunch break the same way I had been spending it these last couple of days, listening to music.

After my break ended Mrs. Whitaker asked me to place the candy in bowls and put them around the library and set up the read-aloud for later tonight. By the time I finished this, it was around 3:45 and I was about to go. I made sure to clean up after myself and put anything I used throughout the day back in the areas they belonged to. I then dropped by Mrs. Whitaker and wished her a happy Halloween and good night.

As I walked down the library steps, I began to walk my normal path. I walked for a few minutes until I heard “Yo! Detective!”

My eyebrows raised and my lips pursed out as I turned around to see Frank running my way. I stop in my tracks and looked at him. What’s he doing around here?

“Hi,” I said quietly still eyeing him slightly.

“What are you doing around here?” He asked. I should be asking you the same.

“Um, I live around here,” I said. I looked at him trying to see what smart thing he has to say about that. I may know little to nothing about him but I confident to say he knows where I live, especially if he lives with Mallory and Jahmal. But today was a good day, so I’ll play along.

“Really? I walk these parts all the time you know. I’ve never seen you around.” He said.

“Oh really? I was just about to say the same thing.” I said in the same tone as him. “So, were you just running or walking around, and then you coincidentally bumped into me?” I said playfully.

“Great minds think alike. And yes, I happen to be exercising out here. I was doing a mix of running, jogging, and walking. As you can see, I’m in excellent shape but you know I exercise to keep healthy.” He said.

My eyes roamed his body. “Hey, my eyes are up here.” He said jokingly. I looked away quickly, embarrassed that I was caught staring at his body.

“Anyways, I thought I’d keep you company. Especially on a night as spooky as this one.” He said.

I snorted at his joking manner and continued to walk. We walked for a few more minutes as we talked about random things that ended with him making jokes and puns that I enjoyed.

“What do you think of dinner food?” He asked as he stopped in his tracks and stared down at me.

“Um… I love diners. They’re my favorite.” I said shyly.

“Well, let’s go then.” He says as he begins to cross the street. “Wait, wait!” I yell as I catch up to him. He turns slightly and arches his right eyebrows and looks at me.

“You mean like right now, right now?” I asked starting to panic.

I wasn’t ready to be surrounded by people I know yet. What if I bump into someone I know? What if I breakdown. Oh God. Wait, the wait is this a date? What If it isn’t and it’s just some pity tactic. But what if it is? Regardless, I’m not ready!

“Yeah. I’m starving.” He said casually. I looked at him again with a more worried expression. His eyes roamed my face and then back up to my eyes.

“Look… if you’re worried about how you look. Then don’t, you look great.” He said making me feel flustered.

“And if you’re worried that anyone will bother you or we will see someone you used to know don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it.” He smiled at me with his charming smile as he tried to reassure me.

I gave him a small smile as I walked closer to him. I let him lead the way. I was curious to see how well he knew the neighborhood. After walking for several more minutes we arrived at Royals Diner. It looked the same as I remember as a kid. I remember dad would always take us here after the football games and Mallory was done cheering. Mom never came with us to the diner she said, “diner food is low-class”.

Frank held the door open for me. I thanked him as I walked through the door. He followed behind me. As I walked in, I wasn’t surprised to see the diner was packed and flooded with people of all ages dressed up in different Halloween costumes. Frank to a seat at a booth that was open. I sat across from him.

He grabbed his menu and so did I. I hadn’t had food here in such a long time. I looked over the menu and tried to see if they had my old favorite. I looked for a few more seconds before I found it. A Buffalo Chicken wrap with French Fries.

“Happy Halloween. What can I get you two?” The waitress asked. “Ladies first,” Frank responded. “Um, hi. I’ll take the Buffalo Chicken Wrap with French Fries and a glass of water.” I said.

“I’ll take Today’s special, the Cheesy Jalapeno PB & J Sandwich and a glass of milk to drown it down.” He said a little too casually for me.

The waitress scribbled our orders down as she walked away. My nose scrunched up slightly at what he ordered.

“I only ordered this sandwich because it sounded disgusting.” He said in response.

“So, I never got to get to know you that well the first time we meet or even last weekend.” He said.

I looked at skeptically. I was never one to open up. I’m a reserved person and I like it that way. But at the same time, Frank is different to me. I feel like he’s someone I can trust.

“So, I know at dinner we mentioned you got fired. Which seems strange. You seem like a smart and capable young woman. I’m just trying to logically piece together how that happened.” He said eyeing me.

I sit up in the booth and lean forward and say, “You want to know the truth?” I said. He leaned forward closer to me.

“Because I’m crazy. Crazy people don’t have jobs or friends. I got fired for having a mental breakdown. I got fired because I’m no good. I’m that one crazy bitch everyone keeps their distance from.” I said being as brutally honest as possible.

Before he could respond, I heard a loud crash followed by a voice yell, “You stupid bitch! I said Pepsi, not Coke and I ordered dark meat not white. How fucking hard is it to get the stupid order right!” The voice yelled.

I was immediately enraged by the scene I had just witnessed. Never, in my life, I have been the one to tolerate disgusting behavior like that.

I quickly turned around and placed my knees in both and yelled, “Just because you are not a service worker doesn’t mean you should make life harder for people in the industry!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

I then turned around and faced Frank again, “I’m usually a nice girl. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my temper.” I said laughing

“I see that.” He said as he laughed with me.

Before we could continue speaking, I heard large and rapid footsteps approach us. “Look, I don’t know who the fuck you think you are but what happened back there was none of your business. I suggest you mind your business.” He said. I looked at him up and down in disgust. I hate bullies.

He looked at me back and moved closer. “Wait, wait!” He yelled as he began to laugh maniacally. “This is just too good. Prue Walker?” He stated as he leaned in closer. “Yeah, yeah that you. I’d recognized the psycho bitch that scared my kid brother for life anywhere.” He said as venom laced his words.

I sunk further in the booth as I started to feel ashamed of myself. Guilty. I felt like the worse person on earth. Here I was in a diner being publicly called out for something I did in the past. Something I can never change something that I tried to fix over and over again. But was never given the chance. I was never able to make it better.

“You have some balls to show your face in public again. I can’t- “He said before he was interrupted.

“Believe that you would dress like that. For God's sake, it’s Halloween you’re supposed to be scary, not regrettable. What are you like 16? 18? Dressing like Fred Durst. Someone tell this kid what year it is! You have the balls to say she should be ashamed. But have you looked in the mirror? You’re throwing tantrums about food like a two-year-old and parading around with this misogynistic attitude.” He said with confidence.

The young man looked stunned but continued to speak, “You don’t understand how I feel-“He said before being interrupted again by Frank.

“I don’t care how you FEEL about it… word of advice kid if you constantly go around blaming others for your problems you won’t get anywhere in life. You’ll be the same jerk that you are now. You’ll look back on life and you’ll be my age contemplating what went wrong and why was I stupid enough to fuck my own life up. It will be nobody’s fault but your own, oh… and by the way- life is not fair, just get used to it!!!” He said.

The young man narrowed his eyes and walked away. I continued to look down still feeling very ashamed of myself. I had lost my appetite and I just wanted to be anywhere but here.

“Let’s go,” Frank said and he got up from the booth. I followed closely behind him.

We walked out of the diner. I wasn’t sure where we were going but that wasn’t my main concern.

“Look. Cheer up. The things he was saying were some of the most idiotic things I've ever heard.” He said.

I looked up at him and said, “Stupid to you maybe… but nothing stops it from being true. What he said… I did all those things.” I said trying not to get emotional.

“Okay, so what if you did. What now?” Frank said. What now?

“For everyone asshole that there’s a hundred more. And for every mistake we make there’s a thousand more. So, you’ve made a mistake. I would be the biggest hypocrite if I judged you. Don’t be fooled by my irresistible charm, good looks, and brilliance… I’m no saint.” He said in a serious tone.

“But to be fair, you are crazy...but I like it.” He said as he laughed. I scrunched my face up at him as I rolled his eyes.

I guess I’ll have to get used to his type of humor.

“Now that you’re free from the bondage of the education system. What do you do now? It’s hard to come by jobs that pay that well.” He asked.

“Money is not that important to me. I think that with success, happiness and satisfaction comes the money. Money is not the goal but the means or a sidekick.” I said.

“Ah, you’re a firm believer of passion over practical. Then how did you end of here?” He asked.

“Doing what others wanted me to do. You know, just because I love science, psychology, philosophy, medicine, etc. and just because I am both good at numerical subjects and social subjects doesn’t mean that I have to be a doctor, nurse, engineer, or psychologist.” I said.

“What is your passion then.” Frank inquired.

“Well, I love art and I love helping those in need. If I could have my art studio and hold art classes or be an art therapist and work out of my studio that would be a dream come true.

“What about you? You work with Jahmal don’t you? I can never imagine. you’re a brave man, Charlie Brown.” I said as I referenced the Peanuts comics.

“And don’t forget smart, innovated, and sexy.” He said as he laughed.

I chuckled, “So what does my brother-in-law have you doing all day?” I asked.

“I think you mean to say what doesn’t he have me do.” He said as he rolled his eyes.

“I do everything yet, I’m just his assistant. He needs my reassurance on every business move he makes in addition to that he takes all my business ideas and markets them as his own. In reality, he’s just the face. Honestly, at this point, I’m there for the check and the once in a while free sports tickets I get.” He said almost nonchalantly.

The more he spoke about working for Jahmal the more I got curious as to what he was doing before he moved in with them. How did he end up there? What was his life before he moved back here? And why have I never known of his existence till now? I wanted to know the answers to these questions and more, but I didn’t want to be invasive or too blunt with him. We continued to walk and talk about our interest and sharing random facts we knew about things until he paused and stopped walking. “Um, I just wanted to thank you for…standing up for me,” I said shyly.

“It was nothing. I told you I was going to handle it. And I always honor my commitments and promises.” Frank said.

I smiled at him.

“Have a goodnight detective.” He said as he walked off. I looked around and realized that we were outside of my house.

“Um, good-goodnight!” I yelled as I stuttered. Ugh, I’m such a loser. I said as I unlocked the front door of my house.

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Links to:

Chapter 6

Masterpost

I wanted to thank everyone who has liked or reblogged anything that has to do with this story. I want to give a HUGE SHOUTOUT to the following people for showing me some support (I apologize if i’m missing any names)!!

@pettycruella @jk-unless @plussizeappreciationfics @passionfrvttt @melaninhawtie @lokisbitch27 @blackpridesblog @po-taytay @themilkcartoonkid @amethyst09 @disaster-shadow @rosemilage @tinydramatist @amethyst09 @kween-beast @dene-jordan @dreaminglosssy @treesstill @victoriastefanie04 @wildandjeune @shehassomuchsoul @beastcoastbitchez @blackpridesblog@winchwm @jnspencer19 @jaydeee86 @whoawhoawhoanow @missminnie-123 @donut-crazs @dene-jordan @dreaminglosssy @meleekabenjamin @nerdymugsharkempath @rozseee @nia--omi @uniquehoneyxo @minordeitea @highasfantasy @samfiftyfour-literary @willy-wonka-is-my-soul-animal @amusement14 @aaliyah031103 @kyaikoo @chopbabii @lyle2727-blog @brooklynjaydeallen @thisssguyyy22 @isaacsrobot @sajaeren @becausewelie @princessscornbread and any members of the group chat Black!Reader.

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