#but i still really dont like it :[
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."
I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.
#example: a 'friend' in middle school told me I should ask a guy out. she said 'he'll totally say yes'.#he did not. which was the obvious outcome#but it took me years to realize that she'd said that hoping to fuel some drama for her own entertainment.#ANOTHER EXAMPLE#a guy in college approached me saying that he'd been seeing me around campus but was always too shy to talk to me#and that he really wanted to get to know me#so I was like wow 🥺 romance 🥺 and hopped into bed with him#and afterward I was like what do you wanna do 😊 should we see a movie 😊 should we go out 😊#and he was like nope. byeeee.#and I realized I got bamboozled into sex#total shocked pikachu face#I'm still not the best at this tbh. I'm like 'why would this person lie to me. lying is bad'.#anyway this is why I not looking forward to entering the dating world again#DONT BAMBOOZLE ME I'M GULLIBLE
18K notes
·
View notes
Text
because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
51K notes
·
View notes
Text
seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
65K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hero.
#legend of zelda#echoes of wisdom#loz eow#loz#zelda#tri#josh art tag#been meaning to do a full on stained glass drawing for like 2 years now lol#ive had ideas but none really stuck with me until this one#and the reason why is cuz this one was more of a scene! it wasnt just a normal drawing made to look like stained glass#it had what is supposed to be a literal window with someone standing before it looking up at it#also i find the timing of this drawing funny#cuz i just recently changed my shading style to resemble stained glass even more so than usual#cuz for years now ive gottem comments saying#my style reminds people of stained glass#and sometimes i see it sometimes i dont#cuz my shading style changes and sometimes it really did look glass like#but other times i dont think it did?? but i still got those comments??#maybe its like the way i do lineart or block out shapes?#idk but recently when i was growing tired of my previous coloring style i remembered those comments#and decided to lean into it#but now just a little while after that#here i am doing a legit stained glass illustration lol
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
so like is it specifically planets the solver craves or can it get by with just eating dirt off the ground
#thank you those people in that one server i havent been there long enough to remember names#for bringing up the idea#is very funny#god i have genuinely no idea what to do for n's dialogue boxes. cannot think of a gimmick whatsoever#suprise attack by the artstyle change. i am imploding right now#cannot settle on any style whatsoever. genuinely changing by the hour#so strangely proud of ns hand in this one i dont know what it is about it but i really like it#hats still pisses me off though. why so difficult to draw#murder drones#art#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones cyn#or its#murder drones absolutesolver#who knows at this point#murder drones skig#still fighting tooth and nail for the tail to be named skig. it fits so well#iz go attack glitch headquarters for me#i think its late enough i can keep this unspoilered
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
#death#death spn#julian richings#julian you and your beady eyes will always mean the world to me#i haven't been feeling well recently so ive been really going back to basics/studying and stuff and this...sort of happened#i was doing skull studies all week and julian's face structure is so so so so so perfect#i feel like it's easier for me to draw old people because you can spot the depression on the cheeks/ zygomatic bone easily#before frollo silco there was death#i don't want to jump back in the spn fandom because that ending was dumb#death and crowley i love you you deserved better#i had no idea mark sheppard had 6 heart attacks btw like i thought it was just one not 6 im so glad he's still with us#make a movie with just death and follow him doing his job because julian is so captivating#spn#spn fanart#supernatural#my art#please dont repost
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/668d3827fd7a19bedc6ea4df2c8bbc8e/68216b7f34d45693-55/s540x810/efa749b454ddf5bbf45743997c54dfd03364dc65.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ee2ae43132bbc3d0ca4df857f9f89d70/68216b7f34d45693-47/s540x810/ce22f94f180c129d4c63766a3b0afa287aa7a5cf.jpg)
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOT ITS TEETH IN ME BUT I'M ABOUT TO BITE BACK IN ANGER
#jayce talis#arcane#arcane spoilers#jayce arcane#im getting jayceier.....still dont feel like i have his face down yet#but im getting there.....jaybe....jaybe not#HATE drawing all the little details but it bugs me when im not as accurate as i can be when drawing such intricate designs#fanart#been blasting take me back to eden for weeks now and really wanted to draw a jayce to it#i listened to this song so many times while i was working on this lmao
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
i love the DLC man
#elden ring#miquella the unalloyed#promised consort radahn#I’ve been thinking about how despite all the talk of age of compassion… Miquella’s first spell as a god is an offensive incantation#with a wide af damage radius 💀💀💀#meanwhile Marika who built her age upon violence… her spells are all healing and defense buffs#and her first spell as a God is a little tree that heals a wide area#she was still trying to heal her ppl to the bitter end AND gunning for revenge. there’s a kind of heartbreaking honesty to it#the cruel irony in the DLC story is crazy#really show how badly Miq had strayed from his original path after forsaking Trina#then that meme pops in my head ajshsjhsjhs#now i do think the vow is two-way btw Radahn just got cold feet near the end#the only thing i dont like about the DLC is i cant draw jokes without explaining I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS i think their actions are valid !!#like having to pull up a whole lore presentation slide for this#yes i think it's funny as hell that Miq did show Radahn why he should not fuck around and find out
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
they make me feel unwell
(continued: Stan & Young Ford)
#the flip side is that Grunkle Stan and Young!Ford are really funny to draw. But these two? I think about them and start sobbing#anyway been trying to draw a little Time Travel AU stuff. specifically The grunks meeting their 30-something-year-old selves#oldies in the 80s AU#if you will#its like god imagine being completely no contact with your brother and then BAM a guy who has the EXACT relationship you want shows up#and he's being really nice to you and you're pretty sure you've passed out and this is a dream but you really dont want to wake up#and on Ford's side he is suddenly face to face with this really beat up younger version of his brother and its like uh oh! Guilt!#Best behaviour time. cannot be ribbing this one like he would've been if Grunk Stan got injured.#Which only adds to the whole 'I'm bleeding out after being beaten up and this is a fever dream' feeling on Stan's side#cw injury#cw blood#i mean drawn and cartoony but still#gahh kinda want to completely redo this from scratch but tis what it tis#Gravity Falls#Gravity Falls time travel AU#time travel au#is time stuck a specific thing or general term for time travel in the fandom? I feel like its a specific thing.#like how iirc twins in time is when its the baby stans with the older ones. but idkkk idkkkkkkk!!!#GF Fan art#gravity falls fanart#fan art#fanart#Ford pines#grunkle ford#stanford pines#stan pines#stanley pines#mullet stan#young stanley pines#my art
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
A little something silly in my werewolf/vampire jmart au, for @milkteamoon as part of @magnusforgaza. Thank you!
This specific project has now closed, but here's a list of artists who are still individually taking requests for Gaza donations - go check them out
#the magnus archives#tma#tma au#magnus archives#magnus for gaza#milkteamoon#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#tma s3#hopefully this is funny enough while still also fitting the au and expectations :'D#gammijart#tma vampire au#tma werewolf au#i still dont have a tag for this#tma vampwolf au#i guess#id in alt#also in this au martin is actually the archivist while jon is an assistant - because the Fears arent really a thing here#and Martin was turned by Elias who keeps him down there where he can stay out of the sun and out of the way until he needs him for somethin#like keeping an eye on the newly turned werewolf employee
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
fake dating au where shuro ends up pretending to go out with laios in order to secure his inheritance.... but is it really what he wants? a journey of romance and self discovery that ill never ever write
#i imagine some political intrigue too but frankly i dont know enough#not pictured: marcille and co losing their fucking minds becos laios what were u THINKING#shuro#nakamoto toshiro#laios touden#laishuro#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#art#maizuru#i imagine shuro also doesnt want to win his succession with something so. underhanded and untrue lmao.#and then when it DOES become true... well does he even want it really 😭#i feel like hed still end up doing it but at least hes actually examined his own wants etc#delicious in dungeon
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
my lovely mutuals and followers and circle of dykes. i am BEGGING YOU to stop reblogging that "NSAIDS while on spiro damages your liver" post. there have been MANY additions in the comments expanding on the risk factors of mixing these medications (and i HIGHLY recommend looking in the comments. @/boringkate assesses the risk beautifully in there, and many others are in the reblogs expanding on the interactions and risks as well). all those aside - the major risk of mixing NSAIDs and any diuretic (not limited to, but including ibuprofen snd spiro) is RENAL (KIDNEY) PROBLEMS!!! NOT LIVER!!! and the most frequent version ive seen to that post does Not do a good enough job clarifying that "renal function" is related to your kidneys, not your liver. there are some effects that will happen on the liver eventually of course, but the premise of the interactions is wrong in and of itself and this kind of misinformation is kind of dangerous to just take at face value/without curiousity
i encourage you to read the actual drugs.com summary on the interactions between NSAIDs and spiro that keeps being referenced in that post (more on this under the cut). it is a moderate interaction manageable with increased hydration (your kidneys love water!) and, if you're taking spiro under the supervision of a doctor, monitoring of your renal function via blood tests. and i understand feeling betrayed learning there are potential interactions between all NSAIDs and diuretics because these risks are often not clearly communicated by doctors themselves, but in the pharmacy and usually in that packet that comes with your meds that most people are more likely to toss than read - but please do not make sudden rapid changes to your healthcare plans or work yourself into a panic on ever taking a pain med ever again based on that post and PLEASE fact check things you read on the internet before spreading it as Health Facts, even if its just looking up what different words mean to understand more of what you're reading. i also really do encourage y'all to read on how kidneys work and this is a really nice overview
the risk of kidney problems mostly occurs if you are (1) taking regular doses of both medications (2) NOT drinking enough fluids (3) not communicating with your doctor about all the medications you are taking. if you are taking spiro as a treatment provided by a doctor and are worried about kidney problems after that post, by all means talk to them and ask about getting a blood test to check your kidneys function/health!! im not discouraging this!! your doctor likely isnt bringing this up in the first place though because (in my cursory glance over the sources) many of these studies cited even in the drugs.com article "specific" to ibuprofen and spiro are about a variety of diuretics interactions with a variety of NSAIDs. the ones that arent paywalled are also either acute case studies about elderly patients on diuretics (so who Already have kidney problems/elimination issues) who developed heart issues after diuretics treatement or observational studies specifically on men in good health ages 20-38 to specifically look at drug interactions in the body. in the more acute cases, with proper management/alternative medications almost every single case was reversible and resolvable. many of these medications in these papers also are ones I have not heard of or taken, so i did look up every single drug i didnt recognize by name references to confirm my initial assumption that the reason this is labeled a Moderate instead of low risk interaction is because All NSAIDS and diuretics have potential interactions (confirmed also that the major effect is that NSAIDS have the potential to reduce the efficacy of diuretics, which leads to fluid and salt retention, which can lead to other issues - namely heart issues in the most extreme cases) with variable effects based on specific combination of the drugs used, the patients specific health, and the dosage (not just the size of dose, but the timing as well).
as an aside: if you habitually are taking frequent (read: daily/scheduled, not a one off for a headache or other body pains) doses of OTC NSAIDs, Regardless of taking diuretics, you NEED to tell your doctor because even though its available over the counter (at least in the US) it is still a major medication in your life/relevant to your physiochemistry!! OTC medications are often overlooked by doctors and people alike because they are seen as ubiquitous and to many doctors OTC pain meds, like NSAIDS, are assumed be used in acute pain situations where the dosage is minimal/infrequent enough it will likely have little to no long term effect with other medications.
#bunny rambles#pls read the whole thing if u saw that and are feeling scared ;~;#I'm really anxious this is gonna be taken in the worst possible ways but im also.. deeply anxious! because misinformation like this is scar#and makes people unnecessarily scared and it was a total mistake - nd the one commenter I'm thinking of even mentioned that it didnt do the#best job at clarifying - but people are still rbing the post with it's addition that doesn't really help and i just. really cant not share#anyway if ur wondering my “expertise” or whatever im a biochemist and have been studying science (not enthusiastic interest but like. doing#research. reading papers. learning the field of biology/biochem since 18 (i got really lucky with getting into a research program my 1st yr#of college and thats when i started to read papers and critically assess scientific texts also))#i dont like. using my experience sometimes cause im so scared of being taken as bossy or just. completely wrong bc im not a like World#Known Scientist or anyone even significant in the field im a tech still but like. idk. i just want my circles at least to have more info#to be able to make informed decisions#im sorry this is so long too i just. ah#im so nervous and it shows lol#celebrity bun
737 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2e8cc8b7d6cf9281fbd1c945077dcfac/14666fa346a996a1-d0/s540x810/46c78f7ef4bbf354992b861e4fa81ac939f12bea.jpg)
Sam!
#i like his winter outfit cause his hat hides his stupid ass psiky hair lmao#sorry im not a sam guy the only reason i even drew him was so i could dra whi hair like this lol#look i love soft hair thats kinda wavy or swoopy so im makin all the boys have this hair#im sure if i ever draw alex or shane they would be unrecognizable lmao#also his face looks kinda weird but#i dont really feel like fixing it anymore than i already have#like i fixed his face so many times cause it looked off and it STILL looks of but ah well#art#artwork#stardew valley#fanart#sam stardew valley#sdv#artists on tumblr
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
happy solvermas
#cause t. no actually if christ is the son of god and the solver is god then it'd be like uzimas#quick sketch i pulled out of my ass yesterday to see if i could get myself out of art block/burnout/whatever ive got going on#v was added after cause i had no idea how to work her into the scene#implied nuziv or something look man im just desperate about this ship#and i dont know how to draw fluff or whatever#im so bad at romance i dont know how to express it#but i've been desperately trying to draw nuziv for the past months#i think this is actually like some of my best linework yet im really satisfied with everything right now#been a long time since i've felt that#turns out the “stop overthinking every pixel of the expressions and just draw the approximation the audience will get the jist” approach wo#ks#something something n is the star of their life. tree light chrismtas#it is taking. All of my restraint right now#to not be So Mean to all of you#You Don't Even Know#I Could Do Something. I Might Still.#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#uzi doorman#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones v#serial designation v#murder drones cyn#i need liam to explain whether cyn and the solver are the same person already so i can tag them appropriately its driving me nuts#oh yeah cyn got a plush core to chew on by the way#the idea of giving her a chew toy was rolling around in my head and i think its a very funny visual so here we are
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
With the return of my hyperfixation, have some art I've drawn in the past I don't think I've ever posted to Tumblr
#people on twitter still using the last one to this day will always send me#second one is also just a closeup but now that i look at the og i dont really like the fulli mage#might redraw it at some point#also ive a lot more art but i dont feel like making an art dump#maybe ill post em later#lmk#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#jttw#journey to the west#lmk wukong#sun wukong#lmk sun wukong#lmk mk#mk#macaque#lmk macaque#six eared macaque#lmk six eared macaque#monkey mk#lmk monkey mk#lmk soysauce duo#art dump#digital
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/553f138e788962172c7fe2b3d24cdece/0e8cf4bd2aba60bf-74/s540x810/44e0f9bf3286d9249ef2a6742f2356439d678e1f.jpg)
the eyes of a man in love
-
more windbreaker comics
#you can NOT tell me that togame isnt head over heels for sakura this man is SMITTEN!!!!#like did u see his face...DID U........ im so glad he came back to join the protection squad the way i SCREAMED !!!!#wind breaker spoilers#wind breaker 148#the last few chapters of wbk really rewired my brain im gonna be spinning through these fruity fucks for a while dont mind me#togasaku#kamesaku#haruka sakura#togame jo#wind breaker#wind breaker comics#comics#thecmart#wbk#also sry ill address asks in due time!!! my headspace is still a dumpster fire im barely squeezing these lil comics out
1K notes
·
View notes