#but i stg to hear you speaking like that and then go outside and see ypu strolling around our beaches

[teteminne]

I stg every time I see an American complaining about something in their country going "what kind of third world country is this?" or even some European saying the USA is "a third world country with a gucci belt" I just want to scream. Fuck all of you gringos you fucking sons of bitches. Filhos da puta do caralho vão tomar no fundo do olho dos seus cús seus arrombados ridículos escrotos da porra. Fuck all of you. You're nothing like us because we'd never be as low as you are. Colonizadores do caralho VÃO SE FUDER

[cognitosclowns]

OH EM GEE what if masturbation headcanoms for the whole crew.... IF THE WHOLE CREW AT ONCE IS TOO MUCH then maybe just gigi andre and brett <3 ateehee

OH GEE,,,,,, GUESS I,,, GOTTA NOW,, HOW,,, TRAGIC,, I TOTALLY DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS IN THE TAGS OF A PREVIOUS POST,,,,OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO,, 

(........... <3 THANK U FOR THeSe ASKs MNFDKSDNFKJDSF I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR CENTURIES TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS)

NSFT THIS IS GOING TO BE AN ESSAY <3 MINORS DNI

tw : drug use + drug ment!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I STG I HAVE BEEN SCRIBBLING NOTES ABOUT THIS ALL WEEK SMDNSM MASTURBATION HC’S ARE LIKE ACTUAL HEROIN FOR ME OK

FANK YEW TO @shrimpsoupsoda for bouncing ideas with meee

BRETT

OH HONEY <3

He’s so shy about it. Like,, extremely shy about it.

It isn’t that he doesn’t masturbate at all - he definitely does, it’s just,,, a very nerve wracking thing at times

He feels weird about letting himself feel good?? It feels like smth that he needs to Earn or Deserve,, and a lotta the time he feels like he doesn’t deserve it??

That being said, there’s absolutely things that,,, set him off <3

Someone telling him he’s done a good job?? Like a genuine, sincere ‘you did a good job on xyz’ is gonna make his legs feel wiggly <3

He has a fleshlight!! It’s in the bottom drawer of his dresser and makes him lose his fucking mind <3

One of his frat buddies got it for his birthday as a joke but,,,,, he kept it <3 and uses it when his hand just Isnt Doing It For Him

It has like?? swappable sleeves and everything?? its surprisingly elaborate msnds

Smth about,, being able to run his tip along the outside before pressing in?? Or even feeling his cum drip out after <3333  

Somewhere in the back of his minds he,, kinda wants one of those Half Torso Sex Dolls?? the ones that’re just the stomach, thighs and genitals?? He’d absolutely never buy it for himself but <333 he thinks about it a lot s,mnds

Definitely a,, once a month affair. Maybe every few months. Definitely not,, Enough for him to feel satisfied on any given day smdns.

-

ANDRE

constant and unending

No but seriously,, masturbating is one of his favorite things <3 it’s just,, such a great way to relax??

Alternatively a great way to keep himself,, stimulated and alert throughout the day?

Listen if he’s stuck in his office reviewing paperwork, he’s absolutely gonna keep a Vibrating Plug handy to keep himself alert <3

I could totally see him owning a Metric Fuckton of sex toys?? Like he just slowly collects them from parties n orgies he’s been to over the years?? he has em all laid out in his dresser??

(Him and Myc 100% share some of them but you didn’t hear that from me)

Speaking of Myc, they’ve absolutely jacked off together!! Not even just in a,, Hookup kind of way

Seeing who can last longer, who can cum faster from Super Silly Porn, etc. (definitely moreso for,, just Goofing Off, yk?)

When jacking off, he uses a frankly obscene amount of lube. enough to be dripping down his thighs. He really likes the Oily, Smooth feeling <333

Also the soundddd <3 that vv wet, slick noise when he strokes?? Best thing in the world, drives him batshit

He likes having a Lotta Different stimulation at once - maybe smth playing on the TV, smth on his phone, smth inside him, all while stroking himself?? <3 absolute bliss, overstimulation is his jam

50/50 on how high he’ll be. Sometimes he wants smth,, slightly more lucid, othertimes he genuinely wants his brain to be oatmeal by the end. Just,, a cocktail of assorted drugs + a vibe inside him, facedown on his bed?? A few hours of that and he can barely remember his own name <3

-

GIGI

Sometimes she swears people,, purposefully do stupid things just to give her more work. How hard is it to not murder someone?? How difficult must it be, to not accidentally leak state secrets??

Needless to say, she appreciates what little private time she has <3

The whole shabang - a nice warm bath, candles, fancy soaps, maybe some nice music. If she’s gonna enjoy herself, she’s gonna go all the way!!

She likes to take things slow, so that kinda helps - a lot of her life is very,, Go Go Go, Rushing to keep up with the PR nightmare so,, it’s <33333 nice to have a few hours to just Relax.

Toys > fingers - she almost always has her nails done, and it’s just not worth the effort of getting them removed just for masturbating.

Besides toys are just,, so much more efficient

she likes smaller, hand-held stuff - she’d rather a simple Bullet Vibe over smth like,, A Wand. She can just melt into her bath and let it do the work <333

That’s not to say she doesn’t have a,, solid collection, but it’s nothing like Andre. Just a few of her favorites!!

Medium volume?? Lots of quiet murmuring under her breath, as if she was talking to smb <333

‘power is attracted to me’ gives me the vibe that she’s used to being in a more dominant role <3!! So murmuring little praises is instinctual at this point smndsd

She prefers to edge up to one Big orgasm, rather than a bunch of smaller ones!!

I am going to marry her <3

REAGAN

You think she doesn’t build her own sex toys??

SHE ABSOLUTELY BUILDS HER OWN SEX TOYS

LISTEN her nails are,, always short bc she Chews Them Constantly - so theoretically she could use her fingers but like,,

w h y?

She can never get the angles right??? Her hand always cramps up?? It kinks her wrist in a weird way??

So yeah she definitely sticks to toys when she’s taking care of herself!!

THE LABBBBB <3

She absolutely has this little,, invention under her desk to take care of her at the end of the day!! There’s a little switch, hidden under a pencil holder to activate it

kinda,, like a suction cup almost?? It slithers out and Envelops the entire area? If she’s being quite honest, it eats her out better than most ppl she’s been with smdsnd

The walls are <333 soundproof. She doesn’t get all that loud - mostly just little hisses and groans (and swearing. plenty of swearing.) but,, it brings her peace of mind

She absolutely has a fuck-machine too!! It’s in her lab, disguised as smth innocuous - voice activated, so nobody’s gonna discover it accidentally!!!

Listen she spends more time in her lab then at home sometimes, it’s not worth going all the way back home just to grab sex toys - besides, who watches the cameras anyways??? It’s their own fault for being nosy smndsd

ROBOTUS

It wasn’t actually something he considered at first?

I mean his first moments as a Fully Sentient Being were,, in a few words Extremely Hectic

and then the,, Unplanned Hemicorporectomy

altogether, Beating His Robotic Meat wasn’t exactly high on his priority list sdnsmdnd

Most likely?? it was something that occurred to him during his,, Months Of Sitting Alone In Bottom Storage A Glass Jar Completely Alone.

The idea sparked one day that,, Well, Some Of These Wires Absolutely Used To Connect To My Genitals - If I Find The Right One And Run A Current Through It...

Emphasis on ‘the right one’,,, the first couple dozen times it just Hurt Like A Motherfucker, since was,, in essence sending a current through his nervous system smdnsd

He was,, basically about to give up before he accidentally brushed against some Extremely Frayed wires a bit deeper in his torso and damn near rebooted-

It took some finangling to figure out how to get that reaction Consistently but,, once he got a hang of it? <33333 New Favorite Thing

It isn't smth he does all the time

...  maybe the first few days he goes a little overboard, but it’s literally his first time very experiencing these sorts of things. It moreso just becomes a part of his routine!! Definitely,, very nice to have smth to clear his head after dealing with,,, The Gang’s Shenanigans smnds

He definitely prefers,, Fast, Hard sensations instead of lighter ones - the new stimulation is,, very interesting to him. Does this mean a few wires get snapped? Maybe but its probably fine smnds. Overstimulation babey <3

-

GLENN

oh if this isn’t the most Repressed motherfucker in the world idk who is.

I get a very ‘White Picket Fence’ vibe from him - probably grew up in a very, very, very conservative family down-south, military fam, etc..

🕺✨ abstinence only education babey 🕺✨ :////////////////////

Sex and masturbation were heavily frowned upon in his household. Like,, you Did Not Talk About That.

ALL THAT BEING SAID,

*adjusts glasses* apparently Dolphins have Prehensile penises? Like they writhe and move around,, almost like a tentacle kindasortamaybe?? I read Several Scholarly Articles for this ask sdnsdn. I know so much about dolphin weens now and how scientists find things out about dolphin weens. In the immortal words of Brian David Gilbert : this is all im qualified to talk about now

He,, quite honestly still hasn’t entirely gotten the hang of it?? Mostly from the fact that he doesn’t do it often-

Doesn’t matter if he’s alone. he could be in a bunker on mars, the last man alive, and he’d still feel self conscious about masturbating.

It’s definitely more of a Milking motion that straight-up stroking??

His jaw is,, WIRED shut. He really tries his best not to make noise (’’’’’it isnt manly’’’’ etc, etc, please bring his ass to therapy), but,,, when he’s close he has tendency to keen?

Just,, this quiet mewling at the back of his throat?? <333

His eyes are either closed, or staring upwards - he much prefers his imagination to anything else.

He cums a fuckton - i mean, even before the whole Surgery Thing he did, but,,,, there’s Quite A Fucking Lot. He usually takes care of himself in the shower, so there’s less cleanup!!

Right after he tries to occupy himself with,, Something Else so he doesn’t have time to feel guilty about it :’)

-

JR

Probably written in his schedule if we’re being quite honest

LISTEN,, he,,,, is exceptionally busy trying to ensure the Deep State doesn’t collapse in on itself on pretty much,, a bi-weekly basis.

His favorite thing at the end of A Long Week is just,, collapsing into his armchair with a stiff drink and jacking off.

it’s definitely a ‘thank fucking god, finally’ situation - getting time to himself has become,, more and more rare lately. The noises of Pure Relief this man makes are,, incomparable <3. Big, heavy groans right at the back of his throat <3333333333

Definitely depends on his energy levels - sometimes he just needs something quick to get the stress of the day out, other times he,,, Wants Smth A Bit More Extensive, yknow?

In ep.1 we see he has a folder on his laptop labeled ‘Definitely Not Porn’ so,, that question’s answered!!

In terms of what specifically? He’s absolutely had his mistresses record JOI videos for him - all the Joy (badumtiss) of being told what to do, without actually needing to interact with someone <3

He’s memorized all of em - he knows them by heart. Doesn’t matter, he still loves every single one <333

Some of them are pretty short, others are,, a few hours. Depends on his particular needs for the evening

He’ll beg even if there’s nobody there <3 he just,, likes the feeling of begging. He loves the shame of being knocked down Several Pegs.

Depending on his mood, he might synch his tie to give a bit of ~asphyxiation~ smdnsd nothing major, just enough to make the sensation  Noticeable. Alternatively, yanking his own hair <3

-

MYC

What could I say about Myc’s sexual habits that the show hasn’t already explained in graphic detail-

LISTEN THE SHOW BASICALLY COVERS IT, he’s got,, an entire Machine dedicated to milking him <3

And honestly??? It’s the most efficient way he’s found?? I mean sure, he could definitely start grinding his tentacles up against walls, but,, it just ends in a mess?

Besides! Spending hours in his machine is,,’productive,, or something’ since it collects all his Goo for later use smdnsd

He would spend all day in there if it,, wouldn’t,, Probably Kill Him Due To Dehydration And Sucking Out His Soul sdmnsd

His tentacles aren’t as sensitive as you’d expect!! they only get Super Sensitive and Tingly when he’s aroused!!

A lot like now smb can like,, have a hand on your knee and it’ll Just Feel Like A Hand On Your Knee, but when you’re horny it feels like Actual Heroin? Yea that!!

Even if there’s nobody around,, he’s extremely vocal smdns. Like shamelessly - the people next door can absolutely hear him. He does not care. Not just moaning - full out sentences, describing how good it feels <3 you’d think he was railing smb if you heard him through the wall

-

*GLANCES AT POST* SELF CARE IS WRITING 2000 WORDS ABOUT HOW CARTOON CHARACTERS MASTURBATE <3 TAKE ME TO JAIL ITS OKAY I ACCEPT MY FATE  NOT SURE HOW MUCH OF THIS WAS LEGIBLE BUT I HOPE Y’ALL ENJOYED MSNDSD.

[lostinwildflowers]

Night Skies and City Lights

Koshi Sugawara x Reader

Summary: Sugawara comes from a rich family, he owns lavish cars and houses, and can buy whatever he wants. When he is invited to an event in New York City, he wants to bring a date. What do you do when your best friend asks you to go with him?

Word Count: 8.0K (Yeah I’m sorry)

Warnings: wealthy!Suga, swearing, friends to lovers, pining, angst, two dum dums don’t realize they both like each other(omg please kiss already i stg), fluff of course :)

A/N: Here is my part of @bakugohoex​ (Ria)’s 3K follower event!!! I can’t say it enough, but congrats love! I hope y’all enjoy my first time writing for Suga bb :) Please let me know what y’all think in the comments or in my inbox please, this took a lot from me to jump of out my comfort zone. Love y’all! - Birch<3

Dividers were created by the lovely and wonderful @anlian-aishang​ :) (I totally didn’t get these made just for this fic LOL)

Also, this and this were my inspiration for their outfits :) (total credit to the artist of the drawing and creator of the dress.) Okay I’ll shut up now, please enjoy :)

The last bell of the day rang out loudly, and all through the hallways, you could hear the happy cheers and chatter of students on their way home for the weekend. Students bustle quickly out of your assigned classroom, and a chuckle leaves your lips at the horde of them that clutter around your door.

You are drawn out of your thoughts as you shut your notebook, realizing that you had to put all of your books in your locker for the weekend. You begin shoving binders and folders into your backpack as fast as you can as the teacher finishes putting the chairs up for the janitor to clean overnight.

As you zip your bag shut and toss it over your shoulder, an extra binder in your arms you call out, “Have a nice weekend, Mrs. Smith!” The older woman calls back a goodbye as you slip out of the door, striding down the halls toward your locker.

Your bag hits the ground next to your locker with a loud thump as you set the binder in your hands on top of your bag, turning back to your locker to enter the combination in. Footsteps down the hall pull your eyes away from the small dial as you pull the lever open swiftly.

Warm, brown eyes lock onto yours in an instant and a smile slides across your lips as you lunge toward the taller framed boy.

“SUGA!!! I thought you went home without me, you jerk,” you whine out as you wrap your arms around him. Large and muscular arms wrap around your waist, picking you up off the ground to spin you in a small circle.

You can feel Sugawara’s chest rise and fall from his soft chuckles and as he pulls away, he shoots you his signature sugary grin.

“Awe, did you really think I would leave you behind, Y/n?” he teases as you return to placing your binders in your locker. You roll your eyes in fake annoyance as you chide back at him, “Well you took your time getting here and the hallways are totally empty, so yeah.”

Suga leans against the locker next to yours, crossing his arms as he watches you struggle to place one of your textbooks on the top shelf. He leans forward quickly, grabbing it from your hands to place it above your head with ease.

“You really think I would let my best friend walk home on a Friday afternoon, all alone, with no one to protect her? Geeze Y/n, your expectations of me are very low,” he pouts as he looks away, brown eyes gleaming playfully as you pick up your bag in one hand, closing the locker with the other.

You shove him, bag slipping from your hands as you slam him against a locker. Laughs bubble out from the two of you, and you are so distracted by trying to catch your breath from all the giggles to notice that Suga has slung your bag over his shoulder and has tossed his arm around you, guiding you out of the building.

Casual conversation is held between the two of you as he walks you home. Suga talks about his classes and the status of his college applications. You talk about how you were so excited for the weekend because you finally got a break from classes and you got to sleep in the following morning.

It seemed to be too soon when you landed on the steps of your front door. Suga rubs the back of his head with a soft grin, offering your bag out with his opposite hand.

You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear and murmur, “Thanks Suga, I always appreciate it when you walk me home. I know you could always drive us, but the weather was so nice today and...”

A slight warmth hovers over your cheeks as your words trail off and you shrug as you grab your bag from him. You look down at your feet before mumbling out, “and I guess I like spending time with you outside of class and stuff.”

Suga lays a hand on your shoulder, causing you to look up at him quickly. His head tilts softly, like how he does, and chuckles, “Well I enjoy it too, Y/n! This is what best friends do, so you can count on me!” With his last words, his thumb juts toward himself and he gives you another one of his classic smiles.

You can feel a slight drop in your mood at his words. This is what best friends do. The silver-haired boy in front of you had been your best friend for years, but now he’s in high school and he’s not the same little kid he used to be.

He was thick with muscle from playing volleyball, and he was devastatingly handsome. Suga’s concerned face suddenly has you focusing back in as the hand he rested on your shoulder moves to cup your face softly.

“Are you alright, Y/n? You looked kinda dizzy there for a second, do I need to walk you in-” “I’m okay,” you chirp out as your (colored) eyes widen. Suga flinches at your words before pulling away from you, tucking his hands into his pockets.

You immediately feel bad for slightly snapping at him, he was always just trying to help. “I promise I’m good, Suga,” you say more gently, “I was just lost in thought there for a second.”

He gives you a nod and then a look of thought travels across his face. Suga opens his mouth to say something, but your front door opens to your mom’s voice, and you turn away from him before he gets the chance to speak.

“Hi mum,” you call as you wave to her. Suga doesn’t say anything but just lifts a hand to wave at her as he starts to back up. “Hey, Y/n, I gotta go home, I’ll text you, yeah?” he says softly as he turns away.

You nod over your shoulder as Suga fully turns around, too quick for you to see the blush on his cheeks and the embarrassed look on his face. He curses under his breath as he walks away from your house and down the sidewalk. 

You were his best friend, so why the hell was it becoming so hard to talk to you?

The following week was difficult for Suga after his failed attempt to ask you his lingering question. He had been invited to New York City for an event by his coach, Keishin Ukai. 

All of his friends were going with their girlfriends and significant others, and he didn’t want to show up alone. Suga didn’t really bother to listen to what the event was about, but he knew it was supposed to be a black-tie affair.

There were two reasons why he was struggling to ask you to go with him. The first reason, although selfish and a daydream, was every time he would go to ask you, all he could picture was the way you would look in a floor-length dress like that. Would you want to wear purple or blue? Maybe even an emerald green?

Just the thought of you looking so ravishing on his arm had his tongue-tied and all rational thought leave his head. His second reason was a bit selfish too, and it was because it was you.

You were his best friend. You were more than his best friend. You were his person, the one who he loved and enjoyed more than anyone else. Yeah, he had the biggest and sweetest crush on you, and no way to tell you.

How couldn’t he love you? You were absolutely stunning, you had an amazing sense of humor with a perfect midnight laugh. You were so, so kind to others, and the soft touches on the shoulder and friendly hugs were more than enough to make his heart skip in his chest.

So, when he acted slightly weird around you after that day he walked you home, you began to worry that you had done or said something to push him away. You didn’t want there to be tension between the two of you, you guys were best friends!

You both were currently sitting in Suga’s personal library after school hours, books sprawled out in front of you as you studied for your upcoming tests. Suga sat in front of you, glasses perched on his nose as he read from a small journal, taking small notes every few seconds.

On the other hand, you were furiously doing math homework, sketching out curves of complex equations, and typing things aggressively into your calculator. Suga glances up at you in concern when you let out a huff after loud clacking into your calculator.

“Everything alright, Y/n? What did that poor calculator do to you?” he chuckles lightly, setting his journal down and lightly stretching, leaning his palm against his face as he gives you his full attention.

You look up from your calculator a little wildly, a flush covering your cheeks as you register Suga’s words and his brown eyes on you. You push the calculator away from you as you murmur, “I just… I really don’t like math.”

Suga nods knowingly and takes a closer look at what you were trying to do. “Yeah, I don’t want any of that,” he laughs out with a disgusted look on his face. 

You pout and cross your arms, giving Suga the best puppy eyes that you could. “Pleaseeee, Suga? You are so good at math, you took this class a whole year early!”

Suga just rolls his eyes before scooting over to your side, one arm resting on the back of your chair as his eyes flicked over the problem. You tried to focus on the small corrections he was giving you, something about concavity and zeros on the graph.

It was difficult to think about math when your really, really cute best friend had his glasses on and was trying to teach you something. 

Holy shit he looks so hot, you think to yourself as you watch Suga redraw the graph you were miserably failing at. No wonder he wants to be a teacher, he’s amazing at this. Wait! Why am I thinking like this? He’s my best friend! I don’t like him like that!

“You got all this?” Suga asks you, a gentle expression on his face as he finishes the sketch, holding it up to show you. You blink dumbly at him for a second before nodding, “Yeah, uh, thanks, Suga.”

He gives you a short nod back but doesn’t return to his seat. He reaches for the journal he had been reading but stops and turns back to you.

“Hey, Y/n, I actually have something to ask you,” a blush starts to creep up his neck and red coats the tips of his ears. You turn away from your math homework to get a better look at your best friend.

One of his hands goes to scratch at his neck while he stutters out, “I- I, uhm, was wondering if you would w-want to go to this, uhm event with me? It’s in New York, so I get it if you don’t feel comfortable and it’s-”

“Suga, I would love to!” you chirp out, a smile gracing your features as you place a hand on his shoulder. A deep sigh of relief leaves his lips as he grins back at you, “Thank goodness, I really didn’t want to go alone. Not when Daichi and Asahi are going to show up with pretty girls on their arms.”

You blink at his words and look toward the floor, “Are you asking me just because I’m your best friend? Or am I pretty enough to fit in with your friends?” A sinking feeling hits your stomach as you realize the differences between you two.

It was easy to forget Suga’s wealthy status when he was your best friend. You had grown up together, so he just seemed like family. Suga never truly liked to flaunt his money or possessions, so it never really bothered you. But here he was, asking you to fly across the globe to go to an event with other rich people.

Suga quickly waves his hands in front of him before awkwardly trying to reassure you, “No, no, Y/n!! You are my best friend, and well, you’re really pretty- I just thought you might want to go, and I don’t think you aren’t pretty, in fact, I think you're one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen!”

A silence falls over the two of you as you both look at each other in surprise at Suga’s small outburst. You burst out laughing at the embarrassment on Suga’s face, hands clutching toward your stomach out of habit.

“You should have seen your face, Suga! Oh my gosh, you really are too sweet for your own good sometimes,” you squeak out in between giggles. Suga visibly relaxes at your words, and then pouts in his chair, sticking his tongue out at you in annoyance.

A smirk appears on Suga’s lips as he turns back to you, an evil look plastered onto his face. Your eyes widen as you start to realize what that look meant.

“No, SUGAAAAA!! Do we have to go shopping?” you whine as he pulls you into a new store. He just laughs and reassures you that it was very important.

“You have to pick a dress to wear at the event, Y/n,” he states, hands looking through the rack of dresses in your size. You stop for a moment to admire him, his brown eyes looking over each dress, taking in every part before deciding if it was your style or not.

“Can I at least pick which color we wear?” you ask as you slide in next to him. Suga just laughs and nods as he pulls a dress off the rack to show you.

The rest of the afternoon is spent shopping for new suitcases, outfits, and of course, the dress you were going to wear at the event. Suga left you to get your dress fitted as he went to find a matching tux.

You surprisingly trusted him to get a suit that matched well enough, because it’s Suga here. He is quite the fashionista, and he had a picture of your dress to show to his tailor. You would be taking the clothes with you that day, as the plane would leave the following morning.

You both had agreed to meet at the airport in the morning, Suga had even gone as far as to have a car drop by your house to pick you up, and all of your luggage would be loaded by some of his private crew. 

Suga waved at you as you slid out of the car he sent, and you lifted your arm to wave back. You thanked the driver and slid out, your carry-on slung over your shoulder as you made your way over to him.

The private jet was waiting and ready to go, so you both boarded the awaiting plane and got buckled in for take-off. You had asked Suga if you could sit next to him, as you were a little uneasy about flying, and being next to him would be comforting enough for you until you got up into the sky.

He, of course, was reading over the itinerary for the event, but the feeling of being up in the plane made you slightly sick to your stomach. Your head landed on his shoulder, and before you knew it, you were asleep on his shoulder.

Suga looks down at you with a soft admiration and love in his eyes, and he allows himself to enjoy the closeness with you. He gently rests the side of his head against the top of yours, and he slips an arm behind your back so you could be more comfortable. It was going to be a long flight to New York City.

It wasn’t long before your plane landed and you were sleepily getting ushered into a fancy black car. The hotel you were staying at was apparently one of the nicest around, so you couldn’t complain as your heavy eyes stared out the window.

Neither you nor Suga said anything when you woke up from your nap, and neither of you noticed the faint blush coating the other’s cheeks when you pulled away. Suga, ever the gentleman, had helped you down from the plane and carried your bag the whole way to where the car was waiting.

You could hear the radio faintly in the background, along with the soft and calm voice of Suga. He was on the phone with one of his friends, you couldn’t tell if it was Daichi or Asahi though. Suga told whoever was on the other side that you both had landed safely and were going to the hotel to relax after the long flight.

Soon enough you are facing a very large and fancy-looking hotel, bright lights shining down against the darkened night sky. You are caught staring for a moment before your car door opens to Suga staring down at you.

“We’re here, Y/n. Let's grab our bags from the trunk and get settled in,” he murmurs quietly, as if to not startle you. You give him a nod before beginning to slide out of the seat, knees wobbly as you stand up straight.

Large and comforting hands steady you on either side of your hips, and you look up to see warm honey-colored eyes staring back at you. “Ya okay there, Y/n? I don’t have to carry you now, do I?”

A chuckle leaves both of your lips as he pulls away, handing you your backpack and rolling your suitcase up next to you. The two of you head into the main lobby, waiting for a minute to get your room number before locating the elevator.

You once again slump against Suga as the numbers on the elevator click by slowly. Suga glances down at your tired form with affection in his eyes, and he whispers, “Hey, you can’t be falling asleep yet. You slept almost for the whole plane ride, and we’ve got some things to go over.”

You turn your head to glance up at him with confusion lacing your features. “Whatcha mean we got things to go over? Like for the event?” you question him, eyes flicking over his face tiredly.

Suga nods as the elevator opens to your floor, and he leads the way down the hallway to where your large room was waiting. You had asked him if you could share a room, as you had never been to NYC before and were hesitant to be alone.

As you get your things situated, Suga explains how with his friends at the event you can be yourself; goofy, charismatic, and so on. He also mentioned how his coach was going to be there after traveling, and that you would have to be pretty put together in front of him.

“This sounds like a lot, Suga,” you fret, hands fiddling with your suitcase as you pull out a pair of pajamas. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to remember all of this.”

Suga doesn’t say anything for a second before he looks you square in the eyes and says, “Well don’t worry about it too much. I’ll be right there beside you, Y/n. I drug you into this mess, I can at least be by your side for the whole night.”

You gave him a smile before nodding to the bathroom, “I’m going to get a shower now, is that alright?” Suga just gives you a quick thumbs up over his shoulder as he reaches for the remote to turn on the tv. 

You wander into the very large bathroom, taking in the high ceiling and marble countertops. You set your clothes down next to the sink before turning on the water and getting ready for your shower. Tomorrow was the big day, after all.

The night was young as the bright lights from the city reflected off the windows of the black limo you were sitting in. Suga was sitting across from you, head resting against the window as he watched the streets fly by.

He looked handsome. He looked sinfully handsome. His legs were crossed, and maybe that was a good thing. You could stop staring at his thick and muscular thighs.

You couldn’t help looking at your best friend like this. The way his perfectly tailored vest fit snugly across his chest was distracting, and the way the sleeves to his black button-up were rolled to expose his strong forearms was unforgivable. 

Suga was looking out of the window for one reason and one reason only. He was trying to stop staring at you because holy shit his best friend was riding in a limo with him to a huge event, and oh my goodness did you look divine.

Your flowy black dress filled a good portion of the limo, so Suga couldn’t really sit next to you anyways. In general, he was struggling to contain himself around you, so he opted for quietly watching from the window as you played on your phone.

The limo stopped after a few more minutes of driving, and suddenly you had arrived at a huge mansion just outside of Manhattan. Suga helped you out of the limo, offering his arm to you as you walked toward the growing party.

You clung on tight to Suga’s arm as he began talking to CEOs and other pompous aristocrats, your (colored) eyes scanning around you to see if you could recognize anyone. Suga mentions you a few times to the people he’s talking to, and you say a few words here or there, letting Suga carry the weight of the conversation.

Soon enough, the conversation ends and Suga leads you away from those people before leaning down to whisper in your ear, “You’re doing great, Y/n. Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

Your (colored) eyes look up to him quickly, a warmth flooding your cheeks as you scan over his features. He looked as calm and collected as ever, his brown eyes watching the crowd as he guided you toward a less busy corner.

“You look handsome tonight too, Suga,” you murmur shyly as he finally lets his gaze settle over you. He playfully punches your shoulder and chuckles out, “Hey, I was trying to be nice and make this about you, ya know.”

You got to shove him back playfully before you catch sight of shoulder-length brown hair, paired with a barely-there scruff. 

“Asahi!” you call out, waving at him as he catches sight of you and Suga. A man slightly shorter than Asahi follows behind him.

Suga turns away from you to see Asahi and Daichi approaching and he opens his arms wide for a hug. “Asahi, Daichi! Good to see ya, fellows. How have you been?” Suga asks them, pulling you up next to him so you could say hello to his buddies.

Asahi gives a shy smile as Suga wraps him in a big bear hug and he stutters out, “I’ve uh, I’ve been good Suga- I can’t b-breathe when you sQUEeze me that tight.” Daichi just laughs and pulls Suga away to do the handshake chest bump thing that guys always do.

“Nice to see you Suga, Y/n, I haven’t seen you in forever! You look beautiful tonight,” Daichi says as he pulls Suga under his arm. Suga shoots you a sheepish grin as his best friends begin to pull him away.

“Y/n, is it alright if we steal him for a little while? To catch up?” Asahi asks as Daichi starts ushering Suga away from you. You just give Suga a little wave as you respond to Asahi, “Yeah, no problem! Just bring him back to me in one piece.”

Asahi laughs as he follows the captain and vice-captain into the mix of the party. You are left alone for a brief moment before someone calls your name. You look around, but you don’t see anyone you recognize.

Suddenly, two shorter boys appear in front of you, large toothy grins gleaming at you. “Noya! Hinata! How are you?!” you squeal out as you trap them both in a hug. 

A bored voice from behind them mutters out, “They should be better, they’ve been slacking off at practices.” You pull away and lunge at Kageyama, wrapping the tall, lanky boy in a tight hug with a cry of, “Kags! I should have known you would be here!”

“Hey!!! Why don’t I get any love?” came the fourth voice, and you turn to be faced with Tanaka. You let a laugh leave your lips as you give the last boy a hug before pulling back to look at all four of them.

“I haven’t seen you all in so long, you all look so handsome!” you state happily, hands toying with the side of your dress as you gaze upon them. Tanaka, Hinata, and Noya all beam under your praise, while Kageyama just blushes faintly and covers it up with a cough.

Noya looks around you for a second, confusion obvious on his face as he ponders aloud, “Where’s Sugawara? He was the one who brought you right?”

You go to tell him that Asahi and Daichi stole him but you are cut off by Hinata chirping out, “Yeah, is he like your boyfriend or something now?”

“Oh quit it, you moron,” Kageyama snaps at him, “Sugawara would have told us if he managed to snag her, dumbass.”

You blink dumbly at them all for a second before they all look up at you, eyes wide like puppies who ate something they shouldn’t have. Tanaka breaks the silence by saying, “C’mon guys, do you really think Suga could catch someone as pretty as Y/n? I don’t think so!”

“Hey, I would watch your mouth there, Tanaka,” Daichi’s voice comes. Asahi and Sugawara are right behind him, and Suga slides in next to you with an apologetic smile. He leans down to whisper in your ear as Daichi starts arguing with Tanaka, “Sorry I took so long, the guys really missed me, and I-”

You quickly shush him and shrug with a smile, “No, no it’s alright. I was just catching up with these lunatics.” Suga gives you a grateful smile in return before looking back at his friends, laughing along with a joke Noya told Asahi.

Your (colored) eyes flick over Suga’s handsome face, taking in the soft pink on his cheeks from laughing, the beauty mark next to his eye, and the gentle curve of his lips as he smiles at his friends.

You must have kept your eyes on Suga for a second too long, because Hinaya peeps out, “Hey, Y/n, is there something on Suga’s face that you’re looking at?”

You tear your eyes away from Suga as fast as you can to look anywhere but at any of the people around you. The group of boys all watch you as your face flushes and your mouth gapes open, but no words come out.

Suga starts to get concerned when you don’t say anything, and he murmurs to you, “Hey, what’s going on? Y/n are you okay? Your face is burning up.” You remain silent as you try to think of anything to say, so Suga nods to Daichi as he starts to pull you away from the crowd.

Suga guides you through a large set of heavy spruce doors before leading you out into a small garden. The cool night air helps to calm the rush of heat coating your face and neck, and Suga takes a deep breath in before sighing it out slowly.

“What was all that back there?” Suga asks quietly as you sit down on a long bench on the side of the garden. You avert your eyes away from him as you fiddle with the layers of tool from your black dress.

“Y/n?” Suga asks as he leans down to you, resting one arm on the bench next to you, caging you to the bench with just his body. He brings his other hand up to cup your cheek, bringing your eyes to meet his. You gulp at the warmth of his touch, even though you feel shivers down your spine.

Suga’s expression is anything but harsh though, there is only concern and care in his eyes as he gazes down at you. You open your mouth to answer him but you are left with silence hanging in the air. Suga tries to give you an encouraging smile, allowing his hand to drop from your face to grab one of your hands.

“You know you can tell me anything, Y/n. I’m your best friend.” But I want to be more. The words were left hanging on his tongue, but you didn’t know any different because you were so caught up in your own head.

“I uh, yeah, thanks Suga. I guess I just got lost in thought and zoned out for a minute,” your murmur as you look down at his hand on yours. Best friend. That’s what Suga was to you, a best friend, a study partner, your everything.

“Suga, I-” “Hey, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Tonight is about having fun, so we don’t have to get too much into this, okay?” Suga cuts you off gently, squeezing your hands reassuringly before reaching behind you to pluck a rose from the bush near your head.

He carefully peels the thorns off quickly before he turns back to you, sliding the brilliant red rose behind your ear with a soft caress to your cheek. He gives you a slight smirk before he shifts his weight and murmurs, “I meant it earlier. You really do look gorgeous tonight, Y/n.”

You blush under his watchful gaze, and you can see his eyes trail over your whole face, even going as far as to take a step back to look at you in your dress. He lets a cheeky whistle slide from his lips as he looks at you fondly, and this time you are at a loss for words because of the way he’s looking at you.

He’s never looked at you like this before.

It was quiet in the car, no music, no hushed whispers, just hanging silence. It wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable, but you could feel some tension between you and Suga. 

You were feeling a lot of things after the way he looked at you, but he brushed the situation off fairly quickly, lending you a hand before whisking you back to the party where his friends were waiting.

Suga helped carry the train on your dress as you made your way up to your room, only a few words being passed between the two of you to keep the dress in the best shape possible.

Once you made it comfortably inside the room you turned to Suga, a faint blush coating your cheeks as he unbuttoned the silver-colored vest that was wrapped so neatly around his torso.

“Hey Suga,” you mumble, hands clenching at your sides as you inwardly groan. He turns to you quickly before murmuring back, “Yeah?”

You shuffle closer to him before turning your back to him and saying over your shoulder, “Could you unzip me? I don’t think I can reach it.”

Suga just nods, and he has to clear his throat and mind to keep his thoughts from straying. His mind was tired and he could make a fool of himself if he wasn’t careful.

One of Suga’s warm hands rests on your waist as a brace, and the other hand uses its nimble fingers to slowly slide the zipper down your back. Suga’s breath catches in his throat for a second, his hands lingering longer than they should have.

He can’t help the way he’s looking at you when you turn to face him. His eyes are blown out wide, full of some unknown emotion as he looks over you. Suddenly it clicks in your head.

He’s giving you the same look he gave you in the garden. It’s an intricate look, one of many layers, the first and most outward one being happiness. Then, maybe some adoration and giddiness. But the final depth to it, you couldn’t quite place your finger on it.

You turn to fully face him, opening your mouth to speak before he spits out, “You can have the bathroom first, I’ll uhm, I’ll get changed out here.”

You give him a nod before shuffling over to your suitcase and grabbing your pajamas before slipping into the bathroom. Once the door shuts behind you, a shaky sigh leaves your lips as you lean up against the door.

Fuck, what was that just then?

You get changed as quickly as you can, hanging the dress on its hanger before jumping in the shower. Once you take a quick shower, you wipe your makeup off and comb through your hair. You splash some cool water on your face to help you clear your thoughts, and you lock eyes with yourself in the mirror.

I’ve got to be honest with myself. Something is going on here, and I’m not really sure what it is. I can’t deny it, I like him. I like him a whole hell of a lot. I just can’t ruin this…

You shake your head to try to rid yourself of your lingering thoughts before you walk back out into the main living area of the hotel room. At first, you don’t notice where Suga is at, but then when you catch sight of him, a flush is filling your cheeks before you can help it.

Suga’s back was facing you, but it was very much a shirtless back, and while you had seen him shirtless after practices or even when you were swimming in his pool, this was different. This was domestic, there wasn’t anyone else between you two.

You squeak as you drop your phone, the small rectangle cracking against your foot in your stupor of Suga’s back muscles. He turns around quickly at your cry, and you avert your eyes to the floor to pick up your phone, trying to relax the rapid beating of your heart in your chest.

When you look up, Suga is pulling on a shirt, but you still manage to see the nice set of muscles set upon his toned torso. You wander over to your suitcase, putting away your toothbrush and other small items before glancing over at him.

Suga was already looking at you and he quips out, “Why’s your face all red? Did you use up all the hot water?” You just giggle to try to cover your butt, and he joins in as you nod, “Yeah, you know me too well, Suga.”

The rest of the evening slides by rather silently, with you scrolling through your phone before giving up and trying to sleep. Suga, however, is sitting at the desk next to his bed, reading one of the books he packed. He even had his reading glasses on so he could dim the light a little more for you, in hopes you would be able to fall asleep.

After 30 minutes of tossing and turning you shuffle up and whisper out, “Suga? Do you think you could lay with me? I can’t seem to fall asleep.” When Suga looks up from his book at you, your hair is slightly mussed from your constant motion, and your t-shirt is just barely hanging off your shoulder.

You looked as exhausted as he felt. He just gives a tired smile before nodding and placing his book down. He slides his glasses off before rubbing at his tired eyes, flicking the lamp off as he stands up.

Suga walks over to the side of your bed closest to his, so that if you wanted him to move to his own bed, it would be less of a hazard in the darkness. You pull the covers back for him, and soon enough Suga is settling down next to you, laying flat on his back.

You roll over onto your side to face him, and in the darkness, you can see his eyes twinkling from the lights of the city behind him. You whisper into the darkness, “Thanks for inviting me on this trip, Suga. It means a lot, you know. I’m not one who grew up with all the fancy things you have, so this was a true experience for me. Thank you.”

You can hear a tired chuckle from Suga as he whispers back to you, “No, Y/n. Thank you for coming with me. Don’t know what I would have done without you today.”

You just smile to yourself at his words, your heart fluttering a little more as you hear him softly groan as he fluffs his pillow before flopping down again. You blink once before closing your eyes and murmuring, “Goodnight, Suga.”

A quiet, “Goodnight, Y/n,” is the only response you hear before you are pulled under by sleep. Except you missed the silent thought floating around in Suga’s head.

I love you.

A soft beam of glowing sunlight is what wakes you up, the ray shining brightly into your face as it slid past the parted curtain. You blink your eyes a few times to allow them to adjust to the light, and you are confused for a second at how heavy the blanket feels around you.

Said heavy blanket groans softly in your ear as he too squints at the light filling the room. Suga’s arm was wrapped firmly around your waist, pulling you close to his broad chest. This had you waking up fast, because the fact that your best friend was most definitely spooning you right now was a little jarring.

A groggy but deep grumble of “G’morning” falls from Suga’s lips as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. Warm puffs of air from his nose land on your skin, and you shiver at the goosebumps that rise on your arms and legs.

Suga shuffles a little more, tightening his grip around you as he mumbles, “You cold, Y/n? I’m roasting right now.” You giggle at his words before turning around in his arms, a whine leaving his lips as you shuffle around.

“Good morning, Suga,” you whisper as he blinks sleepily at you, large brown eyes soft in his morning glow. “Good morning, Y/n,” he says back with a dopey grin, a slight flush covering his cheeks at your close proximity.

You push on his chest with a gentle shove and another giggle as you murmur, “You said that already, you dork.” Suga just chuckles along with you and says, “I guess I’m not used to waking up next to you. We’ve been best friends for how long now and we’ve never had to share a bed?”

You both laugh at his words, enjoying each other’s company for another quiet minute before Suga’s phone starts ringing. Suga rolls onto his back with a loud groan, his arms and legs making a large starfish across the bed, pushing you off in his haste.

You cough a few times as you glare up at him, and Suga just points to his phone and mouths, “Sorry, I need to take this.” He grabs a pair of clothes before disappearing into the bathroom without another word.

The soft noise of the shower turning on alerts you that it was safe to get changed, so you pulled on a pair of jeans and a comfortable sweater before scrolling through your phone as you waited for Suga.

The day itself wasn’t meant to be super exciting, Suga had gotten an extra day in Manhattan for you to sightsee and go shopping. The flight to Japan was leaving that night though, and it was the last flight leaving for the night so you couldn’t miss it.

Suga allows you to drag him around the city, taking pictures at small cafes and huge signs here or there for your family back home. There was one building that had pretty brickwork and you asked Suga if he wanted to take a selfie with you.

He took the selfie on his phone, he had the better camera after all. You both smiled at the camera with large grins before Suga started counting down, “3… 2…. 1… ” and on what should have been cheese, he pressed a gentle kiss to the side of your cheek instead.

You tried not to think about the lingering feeling of his lips on your cheek as you ask him to send you the photo. Little do you know, he saved it as his lock screen while he was waiting for your phone to receive the picture.

After getting dinner at a small and locally owned restaurant, Suga begins pulling you toward the hotel. You both pack up your suitcases and bags, and before you knew it you were boarding the same jet that had taken you to the states.

The sky was pitch black as the plane ascended upwards, and you find yourself burying your face into your hands as you adjust to the feeling of being thousands of feet in the air. Suga was sitting next to you quietly, writing something in his journal about the event and talking to the CEOs.

The silence isn’t necessarily comfortable, there’s nothing except for the sound of the flight, and you can’t help but feel like you need to say something. You shuffle in your seat for a second, trying to get comfortable on the large cushion underneath you without bumping into Suga.

“Hey, Suga?” you ask softly, trying to not bug him if he was writing something important. He finishes writing whatever thought he had before turning to you, one hand coming up to rest against his cheek as he regards you.

“Yeah?” he prompts as he looks over your form, your hands clenching together as if you were unsure if what you were going to say was okay or not.

You turn to face him a little more, and you stare directly into his brown eyes as you say, “Thank you, again for taking me on this trip. I really had a lot of fun, and it was great to see Daichi and Asahi again. Noya and Tanaka too of course...”

Your words start to fade in Suga’s head as he gazes upon you. The lights from the city were shining brightly against the night sky behind you, lighting up the hair around you like a golden halo. The soft and warm-toned lights from inside the plane made your (colored) eyes sparkle, and suddenly, all Suga could think about was you.

He thought about all the times he tried to ask a girl out on a date, but they all rejected him because they thought he had a girlfriend. Suga was always so confused, he was hurt by the fact that no one wanted to date the rich kid, no one even tried to mooch off of him.

And it was because everyone knew he had you. You were always by his side, eating lunch next to him, walking to class with him, getting rides home in the winter because he didn’t want you walking home in the snow.

He had fallen so utterly and deeply in love with you over the years, and he was ready to toss it all out of the window with his next action.

Slowly but confidently, Suga brings his right hand up to cup your cheek, allowing his hand to glide behind your head. He leans in, eyes soft but determined. You didn’t understand what was going on at first, allowing your words to slowly drift off as Suga was the only thing you could think of.

His left hand finds a place on your waist, pulling you gently toward him as his head starts to tilt to the right. Your heart starts beating faster in your chest as butterflies erupt in your stomach. 

Suga was giving you all the time if you so desired to pull away, but he was pleasantly surprised when you leaned in, lips parting ever so slightly as you shut your eyes.

His lips felt like fire and ice all at once, burning and freezing as the air left your lungs. Kissing Suga was like eating a meal after fasting for weeks on end. He felt so much like home it almost scared you.

Suga’s lips move against yours at a bruising pace, letting you set the tone of the passionate kiss. You hear a slight groan from Suga when you brush your tongue against his bottom lip. He takes charge quickly though, his tongue chasing after yours playfully.

You try to battle him for dominance, your hands sliding across his chest before rising to tug on his hair. Suga takes this chance to tug gently on your bottom lip with his teeth before pulling away slowly, chest heaving from the weight behind the kiss.

You lean forward quickly though, press a soft peck on his lips before he pulls you close, leaning your forehead against his while you both catch your breath. No words are shared for a second as you both regain somewhat normal breathing, and this time you notice the flush on Suga’s cheeks.

You can see the city lights reflecting on his face as he looks at you, eyes blown wide with surprise and happiness, and definitely something else.

It’s the look he gave you in the garden, and it’s the look he gave you when he helped you out of your dress. This time, words start to come to mind to describe the look he’s giving you.

It’s tender and sweet. It’s fond and warm. It’s so Suga. It’s so… intimate.

You go to say something, but Suga beats you to it as he reaches for your hand. Suga swallows thickly and then says, “Y/n, I- I'm sorry, I don’t know what came over me, but hear me out okay?”

You open your mouth to interject, but you decide against it and give him a nod. He takes a deep breath and squeezes your hand ever so slightly, his own shaking slightly at his sudden nerves.

“Y/n, I know we have been best friends for a long time, and I really have enjoyed our friendship, and I mean it. But, I can’t deny it any longer,” he looks down at your hands before looking you square in the eyes.

“I am in love with you, and I have been for years now. I tried to play it off as sisterly love, because we were practically raised together. But I couldn’t deny the way my chest would flutter when yet another girl would turn me down for one reason and one reason only, you.”

You blink in surprise for a second, but Suga continues, “I couldn’t help but feel mad when jocks from the soccer team would try to ask you to the spring formal. I thought it was because I am your best friend, but I love you more than that.”

You give him a smile back, a warm feeling spreading over your body as you manage to choke out, “I love you to Suga, and not just in the best friend kind of way.”

Relief and joy flood Suga’s face, and you almost swore you saw tears gather at the edges of his eyes. He flushes softly before murmuring, “Can I kiss you again?”

You give him a gentle nod before he pulls you onto his lap, holding you close to his toned chest before leaning forward and kissing you like his life depended on it.

And on that flight, city lights against the midnight sky became an ambient background as the two of you discovered what you had been missing out on for all these years.

[anambermusicbox]

September 29 Day Countdown (14/29): 2017/12/19 Livestream Interview with 全民直播

(37:10) What’s something your fans do that makes you feel frustrated? 

Zhou Shen: “Something that makes me frustrated is *makes thoughtful noise* everytime they say they’re sad about not being able to make it to an event—that’s something that’s relatively frustrating to me. Because I feel that listening to my singing is their biggest support towards me. I’ve always thought that there’s not much I can do for them. [...] Even if you can’t make it to an in person event, living your lives properly and to the fullest is also a form of support to me.”

(38:30) ZS, reading the livestream chat: “My hands move a lot because (*makes a thoughtful noise*) it’s always like that, I can’t really control it. Also, speaking of, I’ve learned a bit of sign language, that is- (*signs*) “Stay safe, I’m doing fine here; jiayou, stay safe.” Because every time I’m inside the car talking to shengmi outside, they can’t hear me; I’m inside like (*1000 decibel shout*) “STAY SAFE!!!!!!!” and they’re outside like (*waving*) “bye bye~” So I learned how to sign (*signs*) “Stay safe, take care of yourself.” Because everyone who comes to support me at an event is already going through a lot of trouble, so I hope everyone- and make sure not to lose things! Every time I see- a shengmi who lost their ID, another who got their phone stolen—the stuff that you lose, I can’t reimburse them. (*laughs*) So- make sure you’re safe, in all its forms—no matter what you’re doing, safety comes first.”

(9:39) This classic joke:

Interviewer: Have you ever been distressed because of your unique voice?

ZS: Yes.

Interviewer: Then, how did you deal with this distress?

ZS: I was sad.

Interviewer: Wow, this is impossible. (ZS, after losing it laughing: “They all say I talk too much so I’m talking less!”) 

(40:20) ZS: “Oh that’s right, you all need to stop looking for where to buy my clothes! Everytime you discover they’re really cheap I get very hurt. (*ZS goes blurry in laughter*) Stop looking for them!! Every time you (*imitates furious texting*) “I found the design you were wearing! (*points*) Price: 99 yuan.” I’m- (*dramatic flailing and facepalming*) Honestly!” (T/N: 99 yuan is the equivalent of 15 USD or 13 Euros)

(27:10) Interviewer: “Have you been to the southern [part of the country] recently for work?”; ZS: “Recent work in south? Lemme think… hmmm… recently… I had no work. :’((“ (*everyone loses it laughing*)

(22:00) Talks about being okay with only 5 hours of sleep; there was one period of time when he only slept 2 hours a day for a week and someone literally had to go behind him to prop up his head when getting his makeup done because his head kept drooping. (T/N: shenshen i stg u better start getting more sleep ur hEALTH)

(26:15) Talks about how he admires people who are good at what they do and are dedicated to their craft

(28:20) “I study for 23 hours, sleep for 1 hour 😤  “ (T/N: do not do this this is a joke lol)

(39:35) Sings a few lines of “Love is Eternal” (T/N: cantonese!!) and an Ukrainian song (T/N: gorgeous!!)

(19:45) Sings a few lines of “Crossing the Ocean to Meet You” and Lala Hsu’s “The Lost Sandbar”

[for-a-muse-of-fire]

imagine being loved by me

Fandom: The Witcher (2019)

Pairing: Geralt of Rivia x fem!poc reader

Summary: You clock him as a witcher the moment he steps into your tavern - his kind never scared you the way the did the rest of the village. So he kills things for money? What’s the alternative - being overrun and eaten alive by things that go “bump” in the night? Given your complete and utter lack of shame, you proceed to flirt mercilessly with the White Wolf, and the night just gets more interesting from there.

Warnings: NSFW/18+ ONLY I STG, GET OFF MY LAWN DAMN KIDS. Smutty smut smut, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, I’d say some dom!Geralt if you squint a bit, plus some standard violence and swearing. Geralt and reader both say fuck a bunch.

A/N: Inspired by my current obsession with Hozier’s song, “Talk”. Y’all, I think this is the first legit thing that I’ve written in several years. Like, at least 5. Maybe more. It’s not perfect, but I still did the damn thing, and that feels pretty rad. Some of you lovely people requested tags - like a dingus, I did not keep track, so this is me doing by best. I honestly don’t think I have to fortitude to keep up a taglist, so I’ll do my absolute best to tag everything under #tutu scribbles so it’s easy to find.

I'd be the sweet feeling of release Mankind now dreams of  That's found in the last witness Before the wave hits, marveling at God

He appears in the doorway towards the end of the night. Most of your patrons have stumbled home, save for one small table that has been carousing with a mission. You’re ready to read them the riot act when the stranger steps into the tavern, ushered by a blast of sharp winter air. You notice him right away, mostly because he might be the largest man you have ever seen. He’s tall, and so broad-shouldered that he brushes the door frame on his way in. You momentarily forget what you’re doing in favor of gawking a bit, bar rag paused mid-swipe when he pulls back the hood of his heavy cloak.

Gods on high, he’s handsome. Almost pretty.

Features that belong on a marble statue and a soft looking mouth that you can’t help but focus on.

He takes a cautious glance around the room and catches you staring. Given that you don’t know the meaning of the word “shame”, you don’t bother to duck your head, though you have enough sense to not grin out-right like a loon. It’s difficult, though.

White hair. Honey-gold eyes.

What really gives him away is the silver medallion that swings out from under his cloak. The size of a large coin, it shows a snarling wolf’s head in profile.

A Witcher.

He holds your gaze and something shivers its way down your spine. His boots carrying him silently across the worn floorboards and you find yourself trying to fluff your hair, make the riotous curls behave for once. You move to meet him when he sits at the end of your bar – even seated, you’re nearly eye-to-eye with him. The smile you offer is a crooked one, bordering on coy.

No harm in a little fun.

“Just in time, friend,” you rib him gently. “I was getting ready to close down and call it a night.”

“Lucky me,” the witcher rumbles. Rumbles - you’re not sure what else to call it. His voice sounds like gravel and thunder. His golden eyes take in your face, and you feel warm, in spite of the drafty space. Something in the vicinity of your stomach starts to flutter excitedly.

Testing the waters, you lean against the bar top with crossed arms. His eyes dip to the swell of your breasts at the top of your bodice.

You grin. “What’s your pleasure, Witcher?”

Gold eyes snap up to meet your darker ones and there is heat in that gaze. The witcher lets out a low kind of a sound, that soft mouth of his turning up at one corner.

The fluttering thing in your belly turns liquid – molten.

 “Ale,” he says, handing over a few crowns. “Please… miss.”

 “Right away.”

You pull a clean tankard from it’s spot and you turn your back to fill it. Being under his gaze isn’t unlike standing in direct sunlight – you can feel it press warmly against your back and shoulders. You try to focus on pouring a decent pint, but all you can think about is the fact that it’s cold out, and it’s been far too long since you’ve had someone warm and vital in your bed. The golden-eyed man behind you certainly seems vital.

Mind made up, you turn to present him with his ale and lean into the bar again. His eyes dip down the line of your neck, a little farther, and then up to find you grinning.

“Enjoy,” you tell him “Get comfortable, Witcher. I’ll be nearby if you need me.”

He “hmms” at you, very nearly grinning himself. Teeth caught against your bottom lip, you pull yourself away and begin your end-of-night duties – gathering empty bowls, cups, dirty utensils – to bring them through to the kitchen. You find yourself stealing one last glance at the witcher as you bump the kitchen door with your hip and slip away. A song, some manner of bawdy barroom ballad, comes to mind unbidden and you find yourself humming tunelessly to yourself as you start the washing.

You swear, you’re barely gone a few moments when you hear the racket begin. Raised voices, drunk voices – damn, you’d forgotten the table of stragglers – and the low rumble of the witcher. An irritated sigh huffs up from your chest and you dry your damn hands on your apron, leaving the rest of the washing in the basin.

The loud voices of drunk men become more clear as you step up to the door separating the kitchen from the tavern: “We don’t want you here, fucking mutant.”

There’s a crash, then the thud of fist hitting flesh. Dammit. So much for your fun tonight.

You swear under your breath and reach for your only real weapon – the heavy wooden baton has a place of honor beside the kitchen door. Slowly, quietly, you easy your way back into the main room. With the layout of the tavern, you’ve appeared behind the drunks – the witcher can see your movements from where he stands, the idiots can’t. The witcher’s mug of ale has been shattered on the floor. He’s surrounded, three drunks around him and the bar top at his back. The red mark high on his cheekbone gives you a hint as to who swung the first punch.

Golden eyes meet yours. You see his jaw tense, and he gives a short jerk of his head; ‘stay back,’ the motion says. It’s almost enough to make you take pause, until you see the glint of a blade; the witcher is focused on you, not on the knife that one of the drunks just pulled. Adrenaline zips through your system and you lunge without thinking, wielding language most unbecoming of a lady. How you manage to keep from tripping on your skirts is beyond you. The would-be knife fighter gets three bone-rattling strikes – knee, diaphragm, nose – and drops, clutching his face with some creative profanity.

His drunk cohorts gawp stupidly at you. You glare daggers in return.

“You are no longer welcome here,” you snap. “Get the fuck out, or it’ll be you on the ground next.”

They considering their bleeding, whimpering friend on the floor and decide not to chance it. You keep your club at the ready, watching as the morons pick up their wounded friend and usher him out the door. The breath that you didn’t remember holding comes whooshing out, and then you turn to your last guest. He’s tense as a wire, fists still clenched – your voice seems to snap him out of it:

 “All right, Witcher?”

He exhales, pulling his focus from the door and back to you. “Yeah… yes,” he replies. You watch him flounder a moment, as if he’s just realizing what happened. “Thank you. That was… thanks.”

 “Any time.”

That’s apparently not a response he’s heard before – it shows on his face for the briefest of second, and then you can see the barrier drop behind his pretty gold eyes. He seems cold as the winter outside when he speaks again, “I’m sorry for the trouble, miss. Thank you for the ale.”

A few more crowns appear from the folds of his cloak – he leaves them on the bar, and you can’t help but blink at him as he starts to make his way to the door. It’s entirely possible that you should leave him be, but you still find yourself calling out:

 “Hold on, Witcher!”

He almost ignores you, leather-gloved hand on the heavy iron handle of the tavern door. You can’t help it – he starts to curse under his breath, and you find yourself grinning about it. He’s still grumbling when he finally turns and those honey-colored eyes find your face again. You tilt your head, curls akimbo across your shoulder, and offer up a soft smile.

Some of the ice behind the witcher’s eyes starts to melt and you could swear he’s trying not to smile back. “… Geralt,” he rumbles at you. “My name is Geralt. Of Rivia.”

 “Geralt of Rivia,” you murmur, and offer your name in return. “Please, Geralt. You’re nearly knifed in my establishment and I think courtesy dictates I offer you something by way of apology. Besides… when was the last time you had a hot meal?”

That perks him up. He may not be fully human, but he’s still male.

You exhale, a breathless chuckle of sorts, and move closer. If there’s an extra sway in your hips, well, you can’t help that and he doesn’t seem to mind. He’s momentarily distracted by the cut of your bodice again and you preen internally. You offer him the hand not holding your club and smile up into his face.

“Come and sit with me, Geralt of Rivia.”           

         ___

After the broken tankard is swept up and the spilled ale dried, you disappear into the kitchen and return with a plate for your guest – the night’s dinner special. Braised beef, potatoes with garlic and butter, and roasted winter vegetables from your garden out back. Geralt, finally stripped of his cloak and gloves, tucks in with the ravenous hunger of a tired traveler. He shovels a mouthful down, then stops, blinking down at the plate.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, frowning.

He very nearly speaks with his mouth full, thinks better of it, and swallows. “This is fucking delicious,” he says, deadly serious. You laugh.

“Thank you.” Pride swells in your chest; you’ve always been proud of your cooking. “Most of it came from my own garden.”

Geralt hums. His next bite is smaller, and he takes his time chewing it. The sight of him enjoying his meal makes you feel contented. He eats, and you go about your work. The fire in the hearth has burnt down some, but it’s enough for you to be able to finish the night’s cleaning. When you slip back behind the bar, Geralt’s plate is empty – he may have actually licked it clean. He seems almost content himself as he finishes his ale.

 “Still hungry?” you tease. He squints at you for a moment, but the corner of his mouth ticks up.

 “No, thank you. I may not need to eat again for a few days.”

You laugh at that, “Good, that’s what I like to hear. Stay put, all right?” You nod at the bruise that’s started to bloom on his cheek. “I think I have something for that…”

The empty plate is cleared and you grab a small basket from the kitchen. After filling Geralt’s mug one last time, you pour a small goblet of wine for yourself and come to sit next to him at the bar. He watches you as you open your small kit. “A cook, a fighter, and a healer?” he muses. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

“Can’t sing for shit,” you shoot back. “And a cook, yes, but you’re very generous, calling me a fighter, or a healer. Really, I think I just know enough about either to be dangerous…”

Geralt snorts indecorously. “I think our friend with the broken nose might beg to differ.”

“Doesn’t take much skill to break a nose – long as you swing hard enough. Hah!” You’ve found it – the little salve jar at the bottom of your kit. You turn to Geralt with a grin and hold out the jar for his inspection. “I hear your lot are the expert on this kind of thing. What do you think?”

He “hmms” again – you rather like that sound – and twists open the top of the jar. You watch him give a careful sniff before he peers in to look at the contents itself. “Frankincense,” he mutters. “Honey… mugwort? Good mix.”

You grin. “Thank you. Does the trick for black eyes and stove burns. Gimme that – “ Taking the jar back, you take a sip of your wine before tapping the big witcher on the knee. “Turn this way, please.”

He cocks an eyebrow, but obeys, and you move to stand between his splayed legs. Gods, but he’s warm. Heat rolls off of his body like the warmth of your tavern fire and it’s all you can do to keep from leaning into him. By the way he’s eyeing you, you’re not sure if he’d mind. You tap a little of your healing salve onto the pad of your ring finger and place the jar back on the counter – when you meet his gaze, he nods in silent consent. Gently, you take his chin in your hand and turn his bruised cheek towards you.

 “You heal faster than most, I’ve heard,” you murmur, gently pressing the salve into his skin. “But I can’t imagine getting hit in the face feels good.”

Geralt snorts again. “No, it doesn’t. Not something you really get used to, either.”

“… Geralt, how many times have you gotten punched?”

 “This week, or…?”

You blink at him. When he smirks back, you realize that he is, in fact, pulling your leg. “Oh, you’re the funny one, are you?” you say drily.

He continues to smirk as you grumble, tugging his chin so you can finish applying your salve. Both of you go quiet. The silence isn’t strange – it’s almost comforting. You hear the last intact log on the fire pop. Outside, the wind has picked up. It whistles past the windows, makes what’s left of the fire gutter in the hearth. It’s going to be wickedly cold tonight. You consider your room upstairs, that empty bed…

 “Geralt?”

 “Hmm.”

You chuckle. Your hand drops from his chin and he uses the opportunity to meet your gaze again. It’s at that moment that you realize just how close you are, and perhaps he notices too. Golden eyes scan your face lazily – heat blooms in your chest when his gaze drops to your mouth. He can probably hear the way your pulse kicks up, what with those heightened senses of his.

Maybe the night wouldn’t be a wash after all.

“I have a hunch,” you mumble. “Don’t be alarmed.”

You kiss him. His lips are dry, but smooth. He lets you lean into him, hands braced on his powerful thighs. His palm is so warm against your hip that you can feel it through your skirts; the sensation makes you shudder against him and sigh into his mouth.

Geralt growls, and you feel a desperate, aching heat settle between your legs.

The hand at your hip presses into your lower back and you stumble into him. You taste the ale on his tongue, try to lick the bittersweet flavor from your mouth as his other hand joins in to squeeze at your ass. He crushes you closer – even through the sturdy material of his trousers, you feel the hard line of him straining against your belly. A whine cracks its way up from your throat, and you want…

You want.

 “Stay with me,” you gasp, pulling back for air.

Geralt’s eyes are hooded, his lips slick and kiss-swollen and it takes every ounce of your willpower to keep from lunging in to bite at him. You run your tongue along your own bottom lip and he tracks the motion hungrily.

“Stay with me,” you say again. Your arms wind around his neck. “Keep me warm tonight, Geralt of Rivia.”

He grins slow, pulls you back to him – the tip of his nose is cold when it traces up the line of your neck. “I think I’d like that…”

Teeth and tongue and lips map the curve of your neck. Your fingers tangle their way into the witcher’s hair and tug when he sucks a bruise onto your pulse point. He rewards you with a low sound, breathless and hot on your skin. Oh, he likes that.

 “Keep that up,” he growls. “And I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”

You tug again.

The dam breaks.

You’re not sure how, but his hands feel like they’re everywhere; pushing through your curls, squeezing at your hips, groping at your waist. It’s like he’s trying to break you apart, piece by piece. Strip you open until you’re nothing but bared nerve endings and gasping breath.

Somehow, you make it upstairs and into your room. It’s a miracle that the only clothing left behind in the tavern is his cloak and gloves. Everything else is strewn this way and that through your room – your bodice ends up thrown over a chair and Geralt’s shirt nearly gets stuck on a rafter. One of his boots ends up by the cold fireplace and he kicks the other one off as he whips your chemise over your head. He crowds close, pushes you back until he has you laid out naked across the bed.

Geralt’s grin is lopsided – wolf-like – as his golden eyes take in your bare skin. Your breath stutters when he lowers himself, lips hot and smooth on the skin of your neck. He nips and bites his way down your torso, pausing only to lave his tongue over the dark peak of one breast, then the other. Fire shoots through you and your eyes slam shut – you gasp his name, make him chuckle into your flesh. Strong hands ease your legs apart and you jump when he bites at the softness of your belly, just below your navel. You can feel his low laugh more than you can hear it.

 “Easy, little rabbit,” Geralt murmurs. You breathe out a shaky chuckle and prop up onto your elbows, just in time to watch the witcher reach up to tie his shock-white hair away from his face.

Your mouth goes dry. That wolfish grin is back.

His breath is hot on the crease of your thigh. “I’m just getting started,” he rumbles.

Then Geralt swipes his tongue up the slit of your sex and you wonder for a moment if this is what being struck by lightning feels like. His tongue finds your clit and it is suddenly very hard to think anymore. Your back bows up from the bed as you groan brokenly. One hand shoots down, fingers reaching for something to keep you from flying through the roof, and you grip at the witcher’s hair again. The growl he lets out buzzes against your core and it all goes fuzzy after that.

You feel him grip bruises onto your thighs. You feel the rasp of his stubble. Then, pressure, followed by delicious fullness a Geralt pushes one finger, then another into your slick heat. He stretches you, twisting and thrusting his fingers in time with the flicker of his tongue. You gasp for breath, hips lifting to meet Geralt’s mouth. He seems to be enjoying himself as much as you are – he growls against you, and the hand on your thigh jerks you closer. The sound his mouth and his fingers on you is utterly depraved, wet and sloppy.

Geralt’s fingers curl inside of you, pressing up towards your navel. You come, hard and fast, crying his name.

Over the thunder of your heart, you hear him growl against your thigh, “Fucking beautiful…”

He lays a few biting kisses to your inner thigh before he stands and swipes the back of his hand over his mouth. You stare up at him with outright hunger as he strips off his trousers. He’s solid muscle, battle-scarred and gorgeous, thick cock curving up towards his belly. He smirks, but doesn’t move, seemingly content to let you feast your eyes.

Once you’ve had your fill, you meet Geralt’s hooded gaze and push yourself back on the mattress. With a little extra arch in your back, you crook a finger. Geralt crouches and crawls up the bed to you. His hips settle between your parted thighs, hands braced on either side of your head. Those eyes of his scan your face hungrily before he lunges in for a kiss.

You lick the tang of your cunt from his tongue. The underside of his cock slides against your clit, making you arch into him with a whine, “Geralt…”

He hums low in his chest, shifts his weight to bring one hand up to cup your cheek. “Look at me, sweetheart,” he rasps. His thumb strokes slowly over your cheekbone. “Look at me – want to see your face – “

Geralt shifts back and thrusts home, hard – the blinding pleasure punches the air from your lungs in a shout. Your hands fly up to grip his back. “There it is,” he groans. “Good girl…”

All you can do is mewl in response, trembling. The thumb brushing at your cheek moves to your mouth, pressing and stroking at your bottom lip. You meet Geralt’s gaze with lust-glazed eyes and suck the tip of his thumb into your mouth.

 “Fuck”, he hisses.

He drags a slow thrust out, and pushes back in to the hilt over and over. Each heavy thrust of his hips drives you into the mattress and you meet him eagerly, pitched cries muffled by his thumb. Geralt curls himself over you. His thumb pulls from your mouth with a wet sound so he can grip your chin instead, force you to meet the heat of his eyes. It’s skin and sweat and heated, desperate pleas. Your hands grip at his shoulders, his back, nails leaving lines of red that only spur him on. The witcher pushes at your chin, baring your neck to him so he can scrap his teeth against your sweat-slick skin. You clench around him with a low cry.

His lips press against your ear and he starts talking, rumbling, low and filthy. Your eyes nearly roll back into your head.

Fuck, the mouth on him. He tells you how fucking good you feel around his cock, how wet you are for him; it’s a litany of debased promises and you can only gasp in return. The rumble of his voice, the drag of his cock pushes you higher and higher, tightens the coiled lightning in your belly. You are unconcerned with keeping quiet.

Geralt slips a hand between your bodies. The pad of his thumb pulls across your clit and you are gone, your orgasm fierce and relentless. You keen, whole body curling up into Geralt’s chest; your teeth catch his shoulder and you bite down hard enough to bruise.

The witcher gives a ragged shout into the side of your neck. He pulses into your clutching heat, hot and steady.

Neither of you move for what seems like an age. You feel sticky, and sore, and it feels good. Geralt shifts at last, carefully slipping out of you – you both shudder with the last aftershocks. “Fuck,” he grunts.

“Pretty sure we just did, love,” is your slightly slurred response.

Geralt squints down at you, but you just smile sleepily back, and it’s enough to make him laugh. Like a good gentleman, he makes certain to roll off of you before he collapses on his stomach with grumble. He pulls you into his side; you hum contentedly. The blistering heat beneath your skin has begun to cool, and you feel wonderfully boneless.

The witcher can barely keep his eyes open, but he tries to focus on your face. “All right?” he mumbles into a pillow.

“More than,” you murmur back.

“S’good…” And he’s out cold.

 You follow soon enough.

         _____

You don’t wake until the next morning, sore, but very pleased with yourself. Winter sunlight, bleached and cold, pours in from the casement. There is a brief pang of disappointment when you reach for Geralt and find him gone, but then you hear the crackle of a fire and turn over. It’s a lovely sight. The witcher stands from his crouched position in front of your now-lit fireplace, and you take a moment to admire the well-sculpted curve of his backside as he pulls his shirt on. He’s found his trousers and boots, as well – pity.

 “Thank you,” you mumble, sleepily. He turns to you as you sit up, bedsheet clutched over your nakedness.

 “Don’t mention it.”

You study his handsome face for a moment. His expression is unreadable, but his golden eyes are warm. “Leaving?” you ask.

 “Have to,” he tells you. “Unless your town has a noonwraith that needs destroying.”

 “No, thank fuck.” You stand and stretch with a groan, tying the bedsheet over your breasts. “Well, come on, then.”

Geralt chuckles, but follows you downstairs and to the kitchen. Into a kerchief you tie a loaf of bread, some good cheese, salted pork, and dried fruit. The witcher looks at you with something akin to surprise when you hand him his provisions. You simply smile back and step into him. He allows you to wind your arms around his neck, meeting you halfway in a kiss that makes your heart skip a beat. You don’t want to let go, but you force yourself to step back after a few breathless moments.

 “Goodbye, Geralt of Rivia,” you murmur. You consider more, almost don’t, and then, “If, ah… if you ever find yourself out this way again – “

“I will. I’ll have to.” He gives you a crooked grin. “Only place I can get good meal around here.” 

You laugh outright, and it seems to make Geralt’s grin widen. Following him back into the main tavern, you insure he has his effects and provisions before you watch him take his leave. With a shiver, you recall the newly lit fire in your bedroom and find yourself taken the steps two at a time to get there. Between the cold, bleached sunlight shining in from the window and the warmth of the fire in the hearth, it doesn’t take much to convince yourself that a lie-in is just what you need.

Your pillow still smells like him.

[ya-boi-satan123]

breakdown

wow that’s a terrible name for a fanfic but shut up woeurivnowruih it’s accurate ok shhh  please give me a better name for it i beg you :( also it’s copy and pasted so if there’s some choppiness somewhere, oops-

word count: 727

"..and so i..." "..did you hear about..." "..now kids, the key ingredient to..." "..broke out again..." "..can you believe it..?"

Luz found herself suddenly aware that she was frowning. Fidgeting. Bouncing both her feet and staring at the table as she tapped her fingers together.

She realised that she was tuning into all of the conversations going on, and yet not listening to any of them.

You're faking it, calm down, calm down.

Luz tried a sharp inhale, and then exhaled slowly. Nope, that didn't work. She furrowed her eyebrows, constantly glancing at Amity, feeling a little distressed.

Amity was softly smiling, busy sketching something as she listened to the abomination teacher's lecture, half focused. Luz couldn't see what exactly she was drawing, since her arm was in the way, but she guessed it might've been humanoid, judging from the strokes.

"Luz..? Are you alright..?" She snapped her attention from what amity might've been drawing to the witch herself. She looked concerned, which made Luz feel self conscious.

"Yes..? Well, I mean, no, but I'm fine, I think.."

Amity frowned, only becoming more concerned, and put her hand up.

"Sir, Luz feels a little sick in her stomach, can I take her to the healing bay to get checked up..?"

The teacher tilted his head a little and raised an eyebrow before he sighed and continued to write on the board.

"Alright, but don't take too long, in case I need you for a demonstration."

Amity nods, and takes Luz's hand as she almost dragged her outside the classroom. They keep walking in silence, Luz allowing herself to be guided by Amity all the way to an empty classroom.

Once she made sure the coast was clear, Amity shut the door behind them and she turned to face Luz.

"Hey, now what's up..? Do you want to sit down..? Want a drink..? I've heard I'm pretty good at making hot chocolate."

...What..? Luz felt her eyes start to water, as she felt some tears roll down. She knew what this was. However, she always tried to suppress it, since no one on earth understood what it was. So how come Amity seemed so understanding..? Do they even have any type of nuerodivergency here on the Boiling Isles..?

She felt soft arms wrap around her, suddenly aware of the nice, warm breath that was on her neck.

This was where she started crying.

It didn't happen that often, but when it did, it always felt overwhelming. The sobs were silent, her hands were fidgety, she would tap uncontrollably. People usually got annoyed by it, eventually making Luz feel like it ended up being an attention seeker whenever she started feeling like this.

But now..? She felt... At peace, in a weird sense. The comfort in holding Amity close, tapping on her back uncontrollably, silently letting the tears roll down, it was...

Comforting.

Warm.

Relieving.

Validating.

No-one back at Earth would've done this for her. No one back there would've understood. Yet somehow, Amity instantly seemed to recognise how Luz was feeling.

She buried her head into the crook of Amity's neck. This... This was nice.

They held each-other in the empty classroom for what felt like forever, when in reality it was most likely only a couple of minutes. When Luz finally calmed down, she let go of Amity, (regretfully) and gave her a big sloppy smile. Her cheeks were tear-stained, and she didn't feel like speaking, but Amity understood exactly what Luz was trying to say.

"Thank you."

She smiled in return, with those same soft, understanding, amber eyes that Luz adored to get lost in.

"Anytime."

Luz reached for her hand and held it. They stood there, staring into each-others eyes.

Somehow, a lopsided smile didn't feel like enough for a thanks. Amity had no clue how much she had helped. Luz leaned in and slowly closed her eyes, her breathing hitched.

She felt soft lips touch hers.

It was sudden, so different to the mood that was in the air, but it was a nice change.

It felt nice to be accepted.

It felt nice to know that no matter how shaky her hands were, no matter how shaky her laughter was, it didn't matter one bit.

One look into Amity's soft eyes reassured her that everything was okay.

And that was enough for Luz.

--------------- end notes: (First off; i stg i gave some of my friends’ my tumblr and i almost didn’t post simply because i’m a coward and i’ll never not judge myself constantly around any friend, so shout out to them.)

Basically, I wrote this while I was having my own lil autistic breakdown to help calm myself down, so most of Luz's breakdown is based off of mine. Do I project onto Luz an unhealthy amount?? Me??? Nooo, totally not. (sadly though, no, i did not get a cute witch girl to comfort me and bring me out of the room with a lil smooch, but i guess a supportive teacher who allowed me to be alone in a room with a very small special class will do smh my head) let's just blame the breakdown on any mistakes I make, oops lol And also the fact that I wrote this in one sitting and on phone, woop- Also, I'm a sucker for soft fluff and kisses, so yes, that soft kiss was absolutely necessary, and you cannot convince me otherwise. But all in all, this was actually a really nice coping mechanism, I started to calm down halfway through writing it, it was nice :)

Anyways, take care of yourselves everyone, remember that you're valid no matter what Have a good day, nerds

[mallowstep]

tpons initial/reading thoughts

keeping my "liveblogging" in one place to maintain my mortorium on spoilers

tpons spoilers below the cut. obviously.

prologue

i swear to god if bramblestar comes back and i don't get squirrelstar i might actually seek out the collective representation of erin hunter and kill her

chapter one

bristlefrost.

bristlefrost, can you hear me [1].

jayfeather is under exactly the same stress as alderheart. so either you're implying alder is weak or you're in the "adoption isn't real" camp and i'm neutral on you as a character, i don't want to dislike you.

you know, i thought the scene in mtbnsof where all of thunderclan is like "yeah, let's just exile squirrelflight" [2] was exaggeration, and honestly i spent a long time workshopping it to make sure it felt natural, but apparently i didn't have to do that, because the characters are canonically OK with it!

do y'all want your leader back or bramblestar? (i'm not salty nope not me.) also twigbranch the fuck do you mean "it would be wonderful if bramblestar came back" like what he barely let you stay in thunderclan stfg.

fuck, i can't tell whether or not sparkpelt is denying lionblaze and jayfeather as squilf's kits, but they're really ruining my good faith in adoption. or just proving my point that it's not about adoption.

does thunderclan care about shadowsight? what is going on i swear did they forget he killed bramble and is responsible for the entire mess right now?

chapter two

shadowsight you did a bad of course they're not hiding how disappointed they are you did a bad my son

lmao it's the reverse of tawnypelt's clan [3], shadowsight is being kidnapped against his will for the tribe. also please can we go back to the tribe but only if it's good

he listed dovewing next to "clan leader" not "clan leader's mate" which implies dovewing has shc's respect which yes i stan

aww siblings being siblings. i miss that from po3. nothing has captured it as well. well, like, the sight.

chapter three

you know, i think part of why i've struggled so much with this arc is because i just don't like any of the pov characters. i don't dislike any of them but i don't like them.

yeah! tree defending rootspring!!!! fuck. good fathers in warriors.

so rootspring calls lionblaze TC deputy which means squirrelstar [4].

god they go, like, ages without caring whose parent is who and suddenly they're covering it all over again but like, in an adoption bad way, and just, fuck you erin hunter [5].

it's good to see lionblaze does care about her, fuck, can we just get some consistency here. (i mean god rootspring he lost his mom too --- i mean, if anyone should know this, your mom was violetshine, posterchild for bad adoption, who fought w twigbranch over adoptive mother shit)

i want a bernie meme like "i am once again asking for adoption to be treated like a legitmate form of family."

chapter four

wait why the fuck is bris faster than windclan their whole thing is being fast

also that moonkitti video about harestar having no personality[6] is painfully real i know nothing about this man

oh huh we were just talking about windclan camp[7]. this is actually pretty similar to the first ever description, right down to bris wondering how people sleep there (they don't.) well, uh, credit where credit is due, good job for sticking to your guns on windclan sleeps outside.

i love how crow and breeze being difficult is just common knowledge.

oh, so crowfeather gets credit for the three? fucking hell man i'm done.

also fuck you crowfeather for victim blaming i will be making a call out post so help me [8]

okay i'm ngl it feels like bris is crushing on lionblaze. i don't think that's supposed to be a thing [9], it just feels like that.

okay okay okay i'm confused in earlier books the great battle was like a well discussed thing. god, avos had that whole the names of the fallen thing. and now, not even a full generation later, and bris doesn't understand the dark forest? (also who's even in the dark forest?)

(oh wait this book is going to answer that. uh for the record, now, squirrelstar/mtbnsof has been fully plotted and will disregard whatever this book says, unless it's good.)

oh wow i guess we're just throwing out the concept of the moonpool why don't we. really, everything i heavily justified/couched in mtbnsof is happening unironically in canon.

mothwing and willowshine god fucking damn. they're prob my fav mentor/apprentice relationship. mistystar's omen stg.

what is it with everyone and bouncing all the fuck around with squirrelflight? like, okay, i'd get it if they doubted her because yeah, i could make a strong argument about clan morality and her actions [10]. but they're so on and off about it i hate it.

shadowsight.

shadowsight, can you hear me.

you're literally saying, "i could solve this, if i had a solution to the problem."

well ig we know who he takes after.

chapter five

what's up with this "darkest thoughts" bullshit come on you're really going to invalidate ivypool like that?

lionblaze really do be going back and forth. can't blame him he's not used to having a character.

also, i really love jayfeather standing up for alderheart [11].

mothwing wtf how're you getting to hell you don't believe in it. how do you have faith in shit. also please stop trashing shadowsight [12]. that said, she's absolutely right, she would be the ideal cat for the job, considering she has warrior training.

jayfeather what the fuck dude why are you suggesting it. although i'm glad at least he acknowledges his connection to squilf. good job. good job for being the one fucking character.

willowshine. willowshine baby no. don't do it. willowshine. willowshine no. don't do it. baby. no. please. i'm crying please don't do it.

"well, Mothwing, I admire everything about you" holy fucking shit what a line that's a line to inspire so much fic [13].

willow please baby no. please. send kestrelwing or something. puddleshine. anyone but you please baby.

damn okay what is with the connection between mothwing and.

no.

no no no no no.

they're killing willowshine.

why.

she's. baby. please no. she's not read. she's too. no. i can't.

ffs moth please stop dissing shadow like this he doesn't deserve this. (also, unrelated, did, uh, did puddleshine name shadowsight for spiresight, a cat he never met and had no connection with? fuck i forgot what happened there.)

you know, out of the med cats, mothwing and jayfeather are the oldest. it's nice to see that dynamic have weight: when jayfeather speaks, people listen. it's been a while since we've had that role of the med cats in thunderclan.

god willow is dead and i'm going to sob.

chapter six

I FUCKING CALLED IT I HATE EVERYTHING

why did they have kill my baby [14]

when did rootspring get fucking responsible this is worse than when i got responsible

also mothwing i'm so sorry.

fuck.

i didn't cry i was too angry and i cried about it last night because i knew it was coming just.

they didn't have to do her dirty like that.

chapter seven

just, before we begin, still sad about this willowshine bs. give me back my baby.

oh gee bristlefrost i wonder why lionblaze can't talk about his mother being taken away

does this mean they're going to acknowledge adoption again? please let this not be me raising my hopes too soon.

also really with all this lionblaze = deputy stuff...i just want squils [15]

oh lionblaze is back on his bullshit again. like, dude. he was instructed to treat ashfur. he was ordered. jesu maria.

uh. spotfur. what the fuck?

okay, first of all, squilf was chosen as deputy, so yes, she does in fact inherit leadership. that's...that's just wrong.

if you want to complain about lionblaze, sure, i hate it as much as you [16]. but squilf?

yes, yes, please give me ivystar [17]. if i can't have squilfstar (and i don't think i can, hence the existence of mtbnsof [18]), please let me have ivypool. (although mousewhisker? who said that lmfao.)

uh, lionblaze? there are so many better choices. i think bristlefrost would do a better job. (that's not an idea please don't give me bristlestar.)

ayyyyy! graystripe! what a man. what a time.

(graystripe and his gd dramatic entrances.)

also it's good to see elders getting the respect they deserve. (wait what what what the fuck happened to him.)

hehe (mtbnsof spoilers) i'm glad at some level that like, i identified key things that need to happen to make the story interesting and compelling, and they're happening. tbc really is picking up with the good writing. i have a lot of thoughts about this, but mostly, like, these books have changed since when i started them, but i'm happy with where they got. also, lmao i'm dying because like, yeah fuck i don't even know, i can't believe both the worst and best parts of mtbnsof have made it into this. god. what a world.

oh thank god lionblaze is stepping down.

hey, uh...is anyone going to follow up with what graystripe was doing? this is getting sus i can't take another thing i just need to trust someone.

chapter eight

i'm still not over willowshine

i. can people decide if dark forest is punishment or. wasn't lionblaze against sending shadowsight? i can't remember shit i should be taking useful notes i have a memory problem xd

aww dovewing mom.

you know i have a quick q: in skyclan & the stranger, leafstar's kits call her mama. but i don't think we've seen any adult cats say that. what's up w that?

oh dovewing i love you but...nah i just love you

that said, uh, can shadowsight's behavior be treated consistently? i don't know something is just bothering me.

oh yeah icewing exists lmao. forgot about that. can this continue like can shadowclan be the new home for wayward souls? they kind of deserve it after all of the villains they've had. and the earliest books kind of implied shadowclan used to do that.

i really, like, okay. cats like icewing are all "durr hurr dark forest very bad" and then others are like "bruh hell is real?"

uh. nope. i hate this implication that the dark forst is poisonous. very bad very bad very bad.

aww tigerstr being a good dad. breaking the cycle. first one [19].

i really, like, why do cats blame shadowsight? he wanted to go? he wanted to be the one? like, wtf?

urgh who wants to be warriorcatsfandommisandry [20] would praise shadow's rule breaking while victim-blaming squilf for the same behavior.

well, uh, ig i'm glad mothwing secretly cares about shadowsight? like, that's kind of fixing her character. kind of.

chapter nine

wow this post is getting long whoops i mean it is all of my notes on a book. usually i condense em into the good stuff.

lmao shadowsight b like "yeah if i die sorry my dad's gonna kill u luv u thanks for coming >3"

seriously mothwing was definitely the cat to choose considering she could 100% fight. also, like, his body is at risk?

you know, i think mothwing is supposed to be having a jayfeather arc here, but it's crippled by the fact that we're not in her head [21].

how many cats are even in the dark forest wasn't this the whole plot of oots that they're all dead?

also, like, i'm glad mothwing is back to herself. i don't even care about the inconsistency i'm happy to have mothwing back.

seriously it's starting to get to me that the knowledge of the great battle is so inconsistent.

okay i like that we've ditched the "darkest thoughts" thing that was kind of stupid

squirrelflight

(i am crying she's here again fuck)

chapter ten

okay yeah valid gotta maintain that tension (altho fuck you erin hunter [5])

huh. i still kinda hate rootspring for basically no reason ngl

you know, i've never questioned this, but how the fuck does moss ball work? moss doesn't work like that god no no no i can't over think it [22].

you know, forbidden romance might be "overdone" but it's worth pointing out that we very rarely get the perspective of the cats in the forbidden romance

lmao what is it with greystripe? like? is everyone in love with him? i'm not being fair to him just...what?

emotional support wife dovewing [23]

i really wish there was a deeper bond between bris, rootspring, and shadow. i appreciate the viewpoints into different clans, but with no meaningful differences in culture, it's just weird because we're used to po3 and avos and stuff where our leads are really close to each other.

willow

willow baby

you know it's occurred to me i've never vocalized my love for willowshine on this blog before now? xd see i don't actually talk about my favorite characters that much. i talk about dovewing the most out of my top 3 (dovewing, jayfeather, willowshine, in no particular order), but they just kind of feel...too personal? because i have really specific reasons to connect with all of them.

dovewing just happens to be for reasons i'm most able to share >3

willow please don't be corrupted

chapter eleven

please i just want to know squilf is okay

bris u fucking idiot we've established the moonpool is deep. don't you remember literally yesterday?

flametail imagery

"drypaws" what a word. interesting ik leopardstar just avoided water, but here bris can't swim. i don't care i'm just happy for some gd culture

okay i've said it before and i've said it again: i draw the line at cat cpr

wait what is daisy doing? fuck was i supposed to read the novellas first? is this what daisy's kin is about? when did daisy leave? did i miss something? what's going on??

okay can we...like, cats who aren't elders trained in the dark forest. this wasn't even a full generation ago. lionblaze. breezepelt. just...guys.

tigerdove...so cute. i love them [23].

where tf are the sisters they got here so fast

like bruh...i liked the sisters but now they're like, clan on demand ghost summoners? i think? idk clearly i'm missing something very important

emotional support wife dovewing

chapter twelve

i see shadowsight and i don't see squirrelflight and i have a complaint

oh uhhh who's snowtuft again?

also i feel like, i feel like i made my point about it being empty

a light in the mist title drop dodoododod

bruh what is ashfur even

oh series one cat xd yeah that checks

look. if they're not in the allegiances, i don't remember them for shit, okay? my series one memory is excellent, it's just that series one cared about thunderclan, and, like, tallstar

squilf squilf squilf squilf squilf if she's not in this chapter i'm going to scream it is 2am bitch

I AM SCREAMING BITCH

chapter thirteen

the scream lengthens

just give me her

at least i get to spend time with willowshine?

wait mapleshade is still alive? i thought someone killed her oop

also uh yeah how did ashfur amass power like, that bitch is an incel he's done nothing but fail to kill three cats and get murdered and go to heaven

are there even enough dark forest cats for that?

rootspring this is a bad idea don't do this haven't you seen horror movies stop being the white chick

sad ghosts r sad sigh

chapter fourteen

when did warriors get all "oh no can't do multiple chapters of the same narrator in a row" please nobody fucking cares that bris is sad i just want to see squirrelflight

lmao bris like "it's illegal to be atheist" bitch i read code of the clans exactly once i know it's dovestar who tried that and the answer was no.

ah, tree. actually mediating, for once.

god, bris...why is firestar's legacy so large? like, fuck, i know why, i just...

also, tree, she said a nobel and true Clan, not the clan. so like, maybe chill out for a moment [24].

hnnnng family drama also i really like that tree loves his wife very good very good

dfskj okay mothwing missing riverclan would be much more impactful if we actually knew what was going on in riverclan. (like, say, if willowshine was a pov in this arc [25]?) also, you know, riverclan has had so many problems with treating cats badly? god, a shadow in riverclan. wait, like, shouldn't mothwing also remember/reflect on this? wait this would be so much better if we had more pov for this fuck

also fuck off bris about being proud you are so fucking priviledged your forbidded romance drama is as intense as like, idek, the notebook? from someone who lived through, uh, forbidded romance that involved threatening to send someone to conversion camp [26], fuck off

bruh. why is she acting like thunderclan is gone xd you have no idea what it's like for a clan to almost fall apart yeah i stand by my comments on shadow/skyclan.

"what will my place be?" it will be a fucking warrior of thunderclan??? all you've ever wanted???? god she's...look i get it she's like, my age. and lord knows i don't react gracefully to shit. she's stressed, i get it. i do. but also, just, ffs bris. get it together.

"you die in the dark forest, you die in real life" can we meme that?

oooh okay it would be really good to get all three pov cats in the dark forest [27].

also, how long has rootspring been down there? how does this work? what's up with shadowsight? what is anything even? how long has it been?

thank you mothwing for pointing out bristlefrost is extremely unexperienced.

also can i just say, i really like bris' name? like i think bristlefrost is an extremely cute and good name. cute in that it's cute and good in that it conveys her character well.

god i want mothwing pov on this [25].

why is bris so convinced that if she doesn't act, rootspring isn't coming back?

chapter fifteen

wow i had a lot of notes on last chapter huuuh

oh vibe do i finally get squilf

stopping caring about bramble shadow no one fucking cares

seriously when did ashfur get this, uh, good at being a villain?

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

she's

here

fuck i'm crying

poor bb i just. poor baby.

okay. ashfur. let me making something clear.

i do not understand why in the world squilf would ever choose bramble [28]. but you're fucked as a choice.

ffs yellowfang this is why we don't say "his only crime was loving too much"

okay well as much as i'm confused by his power his characterization here is fantastic. i'm really glad we got ashfur back as a villain, you know.

good job squirrelflight. do not take unnecessary blame.

(also please learn to transfer these skills to your pos husband.)

#when you can't get her to love you by killing her husband and dragging her into hell so you think you can make her love you by showing her how you're torturing the souls of her loved ones

you know i had the snowtuft thing spoiled for me i just forgot who snowtuft was so it had 0 impact

damn bramblestar is still alive.

dammit.

people kept calling lionblaze deputy don't do that to me if you're not following through on it ffs

okay not to pimp out my own fic but if you're interested in a squirrelstar au, "may there be no sadness of farewell" is my squils (squirrelstar) au and it does have an imposter arc. so you know. if that's your thing.

hnng my thoughts on bramble [29] aside i can appreciate the drama

ashfur. ashfur. ashfur you fucking idiot you're the one fighting her. also fuuuck i love this character. if i was bookmarking this on ao3 you know it'd get the "hot damn" tag.

huh. uh, wow. good chapter. hot damn. loved it. loved it so much.

hate what it means for my hopes and dreams, but very good. very intense. i approve.

chapter sixteen

eh, wasn't she going to the dark forest? did i forget something?

ohhh dream

huh this is interesting

and cute.

i love the "everything is fine" trope so much tho

does...did no one ever describe ashfur to bris?

you know, i think this is why so many people, me included, go with the we-don't-talk-about-our-villains thing. sure, it makes some bits awkward, but...yeesh

huh. weird chapter. both impactful and kinda meh.

chapter seventeen

you know i'm feeling a lot of things right now, and i might have to just give in and finish this damn thing.

we'll see.

willow willow willow willow willow

sigh ffuuuck she's dead. i'm sad. i'm going to write a fic about her. "under a willow tree" i have plans. it's going to be good.

yeah see okay. i made a joke about warriors needing to make not talking about shit part of the culture and i'm glad they did because it works

squilf!!!!!!!!!

oh fuck i'm crying again. my girl. she's here. she's here.

of course they saved you!!!!!! you're!!!!! squilf!!!!!!

please get nine lives.

please.

let the body be dead.

let bramble die.

please.

chapter eighteen

okay seriously i really want to memify "if you die in the dark forest, you die in real life"

oh rip shadow's ear. that sucks. huh. i'm gonna have to explore this, too. esp. w dovewing.

eeeeee mothwing being mothwing again i'm happy

willow

mothwing stick to ur guns for a moment

also i appreciate the "u can't tell me what to do i'm a med cat" thing going on

hehe tigerdad (where's dovewing my beloved)

chapter nineteen

wow okay i'm 3/4 of the way through

dammit rip squilf something something exploring some canon complient stuff.

huh, shadowsight. do you think maybe. being in the dark forest. is bad. do you think. maybe.

bruh shadow way to go call out your own father smh.

mothwing, my dear, you're the one who didn't want to treat him like that. i mean i'm glad you're standing up for him but this kind of makes your whole treatment of him feel like a plot device.

okay, i'm glad that's a formal thing, med cats > leaders, that makes me happy

i really want to know what alderheart is up to.

yeah really why have they waited so long. i mean i forgot about them too but the sisters seem like an obvious choice? since they're here?

(also i'm still really confused by the daisy thing.)

heh i really do need to read squilf's hope. i've been putting it off (i don't want to read cft, but...), but i think it's about time.

rootspring what? okay going to read it now ig

okay okay i'm really glad the sisters are like fuck we're done w y'all cause that's been a long time coming

what debt where the sisters in to the clans XD???

chapter twenty one

"moonpond"xxd i'm dying

awww tigerdad

don't the sisters know the basics of herbal healthcare?

poor tigerstar. no no guys. his wife was in a dangerous prophecy, and now his son is. :(

tigerdad!!!!!!!

ohhh this chapter hit hard

chapter twenty two

"the sign of a true leader" is...talking fast?

dfsjadfskj rootspring you are lead by leafstar the best and most capable leader the fuck are you talking about

:((((((((( brambles........alive

is squirrelstar so much to ask for

y'all're lucky i was going to release "ilex aquafolium" tonight as a follow-up to "better left unsaid" because freyja (my cat) chose it to be next in the rotation but i might end up finishing chapter three of "may there be no sadness of farewell" first because coping

chapter twenty three

you know writing that chapter did not take me better i forgot mtbnsof is angst until like...the epilogue

heyyy they're back....i'm.....soo....happy...about......this [30]

i mean i feel like every one is way too trusting how do u know it's the real squilf?

shadowsight bris rootspring polycule? just a thought

oh. so that's it, then.

you know, i enjoyed it.

citation: a moonkitti video ↩︎

see here to read it, but...you could probably get it in canon ↩︎

legally i have to tell you i haven't actually read this yet ↩︎

please let me have this. ↩︎

where "erin hunter" refers to the collective who writes warriors ↩︎ ↩︎

it's called "leader chance" if you're interested ↩︎

okay, techincally i was talking about riverclan dens, but it's close. ↩︎

for my own personal reference, pg 50 on phone. about 19% ↩︎

warrior cats still hasn't invented cheating. also, no, i'm not going overboard on the footnotes. ↩︎

nts, do this. or add on to like "daughter of mine" or "secrets passed over in the dead of night" ↩︎

gives more weight to sunset and evening star. ↩︎

although also guys it's not that out of character for her. like, she's always been quick to do what she thinks is right, and this time, it's the wrong thing. you know? ↩︎

including my own fuck. ↩︎

spoilers for mtbnsof. i mean i know i killed willow for exactly the same reason but...why'd they have to lift all of my least favorite parts of squilfstar. ↩︎

squilf but for squirrelstar. coined in my drafting notes for mtbnsof ↩︎

to be clear, he's wrong, i just wouldn't bother arguing because it's annoying having lionblaze as clan leader. ↩︎

nts: do something with this. mtbnsof spoilers. even if i don't end up going through to squils death, i want to do something with ivystar, preferably before the entire clan is ocs. ↩︎

in case you're new here, my ao3 is mallowstep and mtbnsof stands for may there be no sadness of farewell, a squirrelstar au that begins at the end of lost stars. ↩︎

"love knows no bounds (but maybe it should)" (unannounced) spoilers. ...i say, knowing about how he's, uh, not in lknb. ↩︎

hopefully, i'm speaking ill of the dead and not summoning the devil. hopefully. ↩︎

yes of course i will now be writing that thank you for calling me out. we will also be exploring her relationship with religion. title? unsure, but we might reuse "i'll believe the wind is calling me" since that has been scrapped and salvaged ↩︎

only valid kit play scene is now the one at the beginning of the sight. ↩︎

no tigerdove discourse please. i'm not in the mood for it. play nice. ↩︎ ↩︎

although to be clear, the only actually noble and true clans, at least time of this book, are shadowclan and skyclan. ↩︎

nts - "under a willow tree" ↩︎ ↩︎

oh. so that's why i don't like her. ↩︎

it triples my odds of seeing squilf. ↩︎

i do. i really, really do. but until the erins acknowledge it, i try to ignore it in canon. otherwise i get too sad. ↩︎

as mentioned before, when i'm interacting with canon, my standards are a lot lower. because i like to enjoy the stories. that's why i write fix-it fic. ↩︎

i'm crying ↩︎

[inctlife]

Ur most NCT dream post was so cute 🥺 would you consider doing one for 127?

ahh yes!!!! i loved doing that🥺🥺

taeyong

so you and taeyong were dating for a WHILE and you’d been with him all through his training period and all through nct 127 so you’d been by his side for a while

and then !!! taeyong went on tour as he normally did and some crazed fan managed to grab his face at the airport and kiss him,, however,, while trying to get her off, he grabbed her face and angles made it look as though he was secretly kissing this girl and the rest of nct 127 were trying to cover it up

so taeyong spent the whole of the flight home crying bc he gets really insecure and he’s sure that you’ll leave him at any opportunity and then when the flight lands he goes to get off and is all miserable and pouty and you just run up to him and jump on him and kiss him so much and he’s like

“i’m sorry, y/n, there was nothing, i’m sorry”

and your like “stfu ik bitch did you see that kiss?? dry as shit, this is a kiss”

then the next day the headlines were all about you two and not the other girl and taeyong just felt so much love because he slowly began to realise you did that to distract from the kiss before the flight ㅠㅠ he loves you sm

taeil

so taeil had a hard day of vocal exercises bc he’s been instructed to do this part for the upcoming song but it’s higher than he’s ever sung before so it’s very strenuous on his voice :(

and at sm they made him do vocal warm ups while doing stomach cruches so he’s in dOUBLE PAIN and he kinda believes that he’s getting a cold so overall, just not a nice day

and then he returns home and you’re just singing in the living room, jumping around, you guys’ dog on the sofa, watching you with his wagging tail and taeil nearly bursts into tears bc he’s just so relieved at the happiness and homeliness pouring out from you and he just wants to come home to this every single day of his life :,)

johnny

so johnny was chilling with his morning coffee, sat in the garden looking at the sky and the birds and it was just chill and then he heard a slight singing voice and he was like ‘hello??? wtf was that??’ and upon creeping upstairs he realised it was you singing an early morning song to your twins🥺

and johnny honestly felt tears leave his eyes, he just felt so blessed in that moment to be able to have a family like this and he just knew he wanted to give you his last name because ohmygod he’s never been this in love before !!

yuta

okay so yuta was obviously sososososO happy with everything going on in korea,, but he couldn’t help but feel homesick because he hadn’t been to japan in so long,, but he didn’t want to let anyone know that so he just kept pushing on :(and you watched him get more and more unlike yuta until one day he came home and looked himself in you guys’ room and you could just hear him sobbing down the phone to either his friends or his family back in japan and it broke your heart :(

so!! you contacted him mum that night and asked her to send over a few recipes that she used to cook for yuta and you went off the the j-mart to get everything you needed before coming back home and cooking!!!! for like literally a whole day,, it was very tiresome

but then!! yuta came home from practise and you were like ‘wait!! go and get in your pyjamas!! i’ve got a surprise’ and yuta was like ‘?? but it’s not my birthday??’ but he went anyway cause like,, you were asking him to get into pyjamas? why wouldnt he?

and so he comes back down and comes into the living room where all the dishes are on the coffee table and just starts crying because that’s all the food that remind him from home and his mum and there’s his favourite anime on the tv and he just looked at you and realises what you did and just feels so much love coming from you but the only word he can say is ‘why?’

and ur just like ‘cause you deserve it’ and yuta almost combusts i stg

doyoung

after doyoung saw gongmyung and his fake wife (idk her name,, sorry!!!! lol) on wgm he couldn’t help but lowkey want something like that..but in real life obv lol

but after he met you he didn’t even think about his wishes and the kind of relationship he wanted because he was just so in love with you that everyday was like a whirlwind !!

and then one day he was speaking to gongmyung and his brother was just smiling knowingly and was just like ‘you really like y/n huh’ and doyoung was like ‘i’m talking about food?? wtf does that have to do with anything’ but it’s because you can see it!!!! doyoung’s so fucking in love with you his entire face lights up!!! and gongmyung’s like ‘tell me about her, consciously, think about her and then tell me’

and doyoung’s like ‘??’ but does it anyway bc it’s an opportunity to think about you lol but as soon as he starts he’s just lost for words and he’s just like ‘she’s the love of my life???’ and gongmyung’s like ‘omg doyoung just marry this woman already’ and doyoung’s like ‘that aint a bad idea though’

they go ring shopping the next week

jungwoo

so with jungwoo it was all kinda rushed,, like you’d only be dating for about 10 months-year?? but due to circumstances you’d been living together since before you were a couple,, so you were already very close basically best friends to lovers tbh

and one day he can hear you on the phone to your friend it’s on speaker and your friend is gushing about her new baby and you’re just being like ‘oh congratulations!!’ but jungwoo swears he hears a slight sadness in your voice :(

so when you get off this phonecall you immediately call someone else it’s your bestfriend,, the one of the same gender and you just say ‘is it weird to want a baby’ and your friend kinda laughs and is like ‘who gave you baby fever’ and you just sigh and are like ‘i can’t help but want so much more with jungwoo but i feel awkward talking about it’ and your friend’s like ‘stfu why’ but it’s because it’s all going so fast!!! just over a year ago you didn’t even think of him romantically and now you wanted to marry him and have his babies??!!??

but jungwoo was crying outside your door bc,, he wanted all that as well :,) so as soon as you hung up he walked in your room and cuddled you close and was like ‘i promise we’ll get married and have babies,, that’s what i want too!!’ and you just started crying bc oml your boyfriend is so precious

jaehyun

so you went to the wedding dress shop w/ taeyong’s fiancé so you could watch her try on dresses and also try on bridesmaids dresses🥺🥺 so pwetty

and basically her vision was all of her bridesmaids having also white dresses but with a different colour sash round the middle so you got to try on a load of dresses that were actually wedding dresses but they were more lowkey and after signing this thing you were allowed to take photos so she could look at them afterwards and decide which one was best

so you came home and jaehyun was there and you were like ‘oh jae !! look at me in these dresses’ and jaehyun was like ‘kk’ and came over and looked over at your phone and it just took him a moment bc omg,, you look so beautiful in a wedding dress

and ur like ‘what?? that’s good right???’ and jaehyun’s like ‘yeah.. yes,, that’s......... that’s fucking amazing omg’ and he cant stop smiling and there right then is when he decides that he has to marry you!!

mark

so mark took you to canada to stay with his family over christmas and you’d met his family like a handful of times before?? but you’d never stayed with them for this long but as soon as mark asked you were 100% up for it

and so at this point you’d been there for a couple of days and mark’s brother is talking to him about you as mark dried his hair and literally all he’s saying is how amazing you are and mark’s kinda blushing, kinda smiling,, he’s just so happy!!! and then, when thinking over his brother’s words, he went downstairs and found you in the kitchen with his mum, dancing around as you cooked dinner for everyone and mark could’ve cried tbh

he saw his dad walk over to his mum and pull her into a kiss and mark tried to move but like, literally could not,, but luckily !! you saw him lol and was like ‘come here’ and mark was laughing and walked over, kissing you as he mumbled a quick ‘i love you’ and jesus christ he really did

[teaboot]

So my boomer 2nd cousin has been semi disowned since 2016 for voting a certain way, it was the last straw for most of us including her own mother. I say semi as some of the family still speaks to her. I was at a wedding where she was invited and she decided to start up a conversation with me, the disabled lesbian cousin, about how my pills are what make me sick and gay. I stg I almost launched over a buffet table to beat her with a ladle. Any tips on not killing her?

I too have similar issues, and deal with them in one of three ways:

First, I remind myself of a time when I too had similarly ignorant beliefs fuelled by flawed reasoning and a lack of personal experience. I remind myself of the experiences that corrected my ignorance, and do my best to gently replicate those circumstances with the individual- I listen to their concerns and carefully steer them into questioning why and how they came to these conclusions. 

I do this got two reasons: firstly because they will naturally resist any outside idea that conflicts with their image of themselves or the world around them, and secondly because any answer they come up with for themselves will always be more powerful than an answer said to their face. 

If you want to teach a dog to sit, you don't yell at him to sit until he gets it right- you manipulate his circumstances so that he decides to himself.

Option two: I accept that this relative is simply one of many people on this earth who just generally sucks, and resolve myself to putting up with their incoherent, intolerant ramblings as I would the anxious, frantic shouting of a coked-out businessman riding the subway at 9 PM on a Wednesday. Am I uncomfortable? Am I concerned? Am I worried for his wellbeing and the health of his social circle? All yes. Am I fully equipped, able, willing and responsible to personally take him under my wing? Unfortunately less so. It would also be in poor taste to punch him into silence, and so I sit, playing Mahjong on my phone.

Option three: Relentless Mockery. 'Yeah dad, the atmosphere isn't real. Neither are lakes, birds, or 38% of your highschool graduating class. What, you're gonna believe what some scientist tells you? They work for the government, genius, they'll tell you whatever they want you to believe. You think Australia is a thing? It's a cover, genius. You ever been to Australia? No? Didn't think so. Hey, look at me, I'm Craig, I believe in global warming and dolphins. God, read a book.'

Relentless Mockery can be practiced both to the subject's face and in private, by your digression. Bonus point in favor of privacy or the close confidence of a friend: from there on, any otherwise shitty future encounter is *magically transformed* into yet another in a long line of ridiculous stories; an event to look forwards to instead of an ordeal to be suffered.

With Option Three™, you too can experience the euphoric high of a close personal friend asking, 'so, any new Aunt Linda stories?', to which you can respond, 

"Oh my god. Okay, so my cousin's funeral was last weekend, right? So I go, and she's there. Not a big deal, except- you know- she *specifically* wasn't invited. So like, I'm in line to go in, and she's right in front of me just *sobbing*. I'm talking snot, tears, the whole nine yards. Going on about she can't believe he's gone, poor Danny, oh, she's going to miss him so much, she was his favourite auntie- and then she starts talking about the time she took him to Disneyland for his birthday. And I haven't heard this one, so I'm just nodding along, but she's saying how she rented a motel and took him to the pool, and how she took him up on the log ride and took pictures with peter pan or some shit- and I'm starting to zone out, right, but then my other cousin cuts in, and he's like, "when was this?" And she was like, "oh, his fifteenth birthday", and HE goes, "you were in Chicago when Dan was fifteen, remember? Your boyfriend invited you out while he was on time off", and she just turns, like, purple. Saying that he must be remembering, that it was definitely then, and she could never forget, but then- get this- AUNT CAROLINE shows up. And she's, like, PISSED. "You never took Daniel anywhere, you haven't been there for his birthday since he was nine years old, what are you talking about?" And I'm just standing there like. Oh My God. Right? And then they're just SCREAMING at each other, right, and that's when the priest walks in, and he just sees them tearing each other apart, and he goes- "ladies, please keep it down, we can hear you in the chapel"- ...and then she turns to HIM. I didn't hear the rest. I just ran. Didn't go back until the wake. They're not talking anymore, though."

Option Three: A Trusted Personal Favorite. 

Then again...... Some people really do need an ass whooping. Not that I'd endorse that. Encouraging violence would be irresponsible. Don't hit your shitty relative with a ladle.

Or just avoid her forever. That works, too. 

IDK. Still working on this one. Anyone else got anything?

[stonyiscanon]

socially awkward! peter parker x oblivious shit! reader

read: peter has a heart attack every time he talks to you because you’re too pretty and nice oof

lmfao just experimenting some new head canon//writing styles lmk what you guys think 🥺

it’s essentially a crack fic i have no regrets.

Warnings: an excessive amount of exclamation points used, overload of fluff, it might be little TOO crack-y if that’s even possible for me, a confusing amount of POV switches. ok it’s just shitty writing would you please read it.

Words: 4.8k this be a baby fic

Genre: fluffity fluff, idiots to lovers, high school! reader, god just read the title.

my masterlist is here if you want more shit

talk to me! be my friend please im lonely

 peter first meets you when you’re new to midtown and you get sorted into his science class.

you sat in front of him your very first day and yeah he’s been soft™ for you ever since

like no joke the first time he saw your face he freezed up and choked on his banana

‘oh nO NED!!! she’s PRETTY!!’

‘like, REALLY pretty!!! S H I T’

‘um,,... okay ain’t that a good thing you sit behind her in class!! maybe you can ask for her number or something—‘

oh hohohohoho ned my friend,,

N O

ABSOLUTELY NOT

peter parker has spoken to you a total of twenty-two (22) times within the whole year that you’ve been... acquaintances?? classmates?? ….. friends???

and his fat secret crush on you will STAY A SECRET THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

he’ll die before he asks you out or makes a move because there’s no way in hell peter has a chance with you, the beautiful new girl.

‘i mean, she’s not just beautiful too! she’s so smart, and i know that because i can literally see all her notes from behind her and she gets like, basically all A’s, but she doesn’t even know she’s smart and beautiful?? like, she never raises her hand in class even though i know she knows all th-’

you would think ned would be tired of peter’s ‘shit I’m in LOVE’ rants by now, he’s not because we stan supportive friend ned.

hehe little does he know his big fat secret crush may not be,, totally unrequited

👀

oKAY so maybe you have a humongous tiny crush on the dorky cute guy who sits behind you in science class

WHAT ABOUT IT not like he likes you back anyways.

that one time you asked him for a pencil he looked like he was having an aneurysm!! like okay, are you that hideous or—?

(yeah it totally doesn’t hurt at all that the cute guy you like is repulsed by your presence and seems to ignore you and tense up whenever you’re around)

(t o ta ll y) 🤡

yeah y/n kinda dumb in this because the entire student body knows about peter’s (not so secret lmFAO) crush on you

everyone lOwkEy ships it

ned is president of the petery/n shipper fanclub

that may be because he’s the only member in aforementioned fanclub but you two have many supporters outside the fanclub

ned hypes peter up everytime science class comes around and peter gets kinda confident when he walks in the classroom

‘yeah! i got this!! maybe this time i won’t stare at her hair creepily and then run aw-‘

‘hey peter!’

asjkdjejnxHAUXINENEIAIRJBSJS

ABORT NEVERMIND I DONT GOT THIS ASKXISNNDKSN

peters brain has left the building

and he kinda stares at you for a sec and runs off to his seat at the back

hm, yeah he definitely doesn’t like you

you sigh as you take your seat in front of him, trying to ignore how your love for this dork is completely one sided

the entire class wants to throttle both of you

so then for the sake of the cliche and the plot (did you heart that fourth wall break?? nvm i didn’t hear nothin)

gasp group project time??!?!?!?!

dang who could have saw this coming

totally unexpected

wow

peter is half hoping to get you and half DREADING to

because he knows if he gets you he’ll be able to spend time with you but 300% won’t be able to function and will most certainly fail this project

but i mean who cares about grades.

in a plot twist that literally no one saw coming,,,

‘betty and liz, you’ll be doing yours on atomic structure,

and peter and y/n are partners! you’ll be doing...’

oh nO

you’re partnered up with peter!

i mean this is great news you get to stare at his precious face more but you’re basically forcing him to spend time with someone he doesn’t like!!

so you turn around and you give him an apologetic and (cute as FXCK) small smile

meanwhile, peter combusts

one look at your smile and he just knows he’s completely fucked

like he physically uwus so hard he slams his head on the table

‘oh! are.. you okay? i mean, is working with me really going to be that bad?’

awkward laugh to hide the pain,, quick y/n!!

‘nO!! i mean, no, absolutely not that’s not what i- it wasn’t my- i didn’t m-‘

you smile a little sadly this time and say,

‘don’t worry about it, i know you don’t like me. it’s only two weeks anyway. i promise i won’t take much of your time.’

wait. hold up. back up here. wha-? wHO doesn’t like W HO??

‘wait what do you mea-‘

‘don’t worry about it. wanna meet at the library after school to get a head start on this?’

‘uh, yeah. i mean- cowabunga…!’

wat

shit peter has never wanted to die more in his entire life

so he does what any other normal person would do and yEEts out the classroom full speed

leaving you slightly hurt but mostly just confused

peter strolls in the library casually attempting to strain his neck 360 degrees to look for you

he looks like a chicken and also that’s humanly impossible but leave him be he’s iN LOVE

he spots you on one of the study tables. he takes a deep breath,, and walks over

���hey!! sorry i’m a little late, uh, something… came up haha’

acting like the poor boy didn’t stand outside the library for fifteen minutes thinking about what he was going to say to you

‘no worries!’ you shoot him another one of those painfully adorable smiles and peter wants nothing more but to give that smile a smooch because damn that is a face that deserves smooches

but he also has a tiny feeling that maybe you might not appreciate it if he randomly kissed you out of nowhere

(you would not mind at all but he doesn’t know that)

‘so yeah! ready to compare the wonders of chemistry and motion physics?’ peter says, bending down to snatch his backpack up to the table (effectively hiding his red cheeks)

you snort as you prop your elbows onto the table, resting your head on your hands.

‘the wonders? hm, i really can’t tell whether you’re being serious or not. guess you really are a dork.’

you giggle a little bit before you catch sight of peter looking like a gaping fish. you immediately slam your hands down, perhaps a little too loudly considering you’re in a library, and blurt out,

‘uh, I was.. joking! making a joke, in case, you know, that wasn’t obvious.’ You awkwardly hide your face between your fingers and squeak out a small apology

‘nO! no, no, don’t worry about it. yeah, I am a dork, so… yeah, i’m not offended, or anything. uh- just, yeah, don’t worry about it.’

well, that ruined the flow of conversation peter was so desperate to keep up with

none of you speak for a bit, opting to look around the very interesting library walls instead, until peter clears his throat and brings up motion physics again

yeah! this will be fine. all you have to focus on is science, and NOT peter’s very soft kissable lips and how good he looks in his light green coloured sweater

huh

oh no

 desperately attempting to clear your mind, you try and focus on what he’s saying instead

it’s just SCIENCE, y/n. focus on the SCIENCE.

this distraction just-concentrate-on-the-work technique works for about the next hour or so as you guys study and work on this project

everything is going great!

you two have an organised google doc full of research and a finished introduction! you’re being extremely productive!

both of you are doing an amazing job at hiding your mutual (except none of you know it’s mutual) attraction!

so as you walk out the library beside peter some time later, you’re smiling softly, because even if your massive crush isn’t reciprocated, you and peter can maybe at least be friends by the end of this, right?

he didn’t even look like he detested you as much as usual today

maybe that’s because he was pretty much forced into cooperating with you because of this project, but you even caught him smiling at you today, so he must be warming up to you

which is great news, of course

peter swallows down his fear and the excessive amount of spit that is coating his tongue and turns to you

‘so, this was really fun’

you tilt your head, mildly horrified at his words

‘we need to stage you an intervention if a science project is something you classify as ‘fun’’

‘no, i mean, the science was kinda boring. spending time with you was really fun. ….right?’

oh good, he isn’t actually a complete monster who does science for fun

(he totally is but you don’t need to know that)

‘yeah! hanging out was really fun, even if we had to spend that time doing work’

you shudder and cringe when you mention ‘work’, because there are much more interesting things you’d rather be doing with peter

👀

‘yep.’

‘yeeep.’

‘so, we should meet up again to work on this… project. right?’ you’re shifting your weight and darting your eyes across the floor, desperately avoiding peter’s gaze.

‘yeah!!’

oof maybe that was a little too enthusiastic. maybe you didn’t notice?

‘i mean, yeah… yeah, totally. sounds… chill.’

oh god that’s worse isn’t it

‘great!’

cue awkward silence

‘so… um… can I maybe have your number?’

you stare blankly at him trying to conceal your excitement because did PETER PARKER just ask for YOUR number?!?!?!

oh no why aren’t you saying anything crapcrapcrap this is peter’s first time asking for ANYONE’S number did he mess up oh no he messed up didn’t he.

‘you know, for the project!!!!! haha!!!!’

oh. of course he wouldn’t actually want your number

*sigh these oblivious fucks I stg i’m the one who’s actually writing this and I want to throttle them*

‘oh… yeah, no problem! um, here’s my number’

‘cool! i’ll text you then!’

from peter p [12:48]

Hey y/n!! Um this is Peter btw. Peter Parker. From science class.

to peter p [12:49]

hey peter!

from peter p [12:49]

So if it’s cool w u do you want to meet up at my place? For the project haha, just figured a change of scenery might be nice. The library can get a little bit boring sometimes.

to peter p [12:49]

yeah sounds cool just send me ur address and i’ll be over after skl tdy if that’s ok

from peter p [12:50]

Yep awesome see u then

to peter p [12:50]

see u! :))

 that smiley face almost makes his heart burst god he’s so whipped for you.

then the panic kicks in.

‘OHMYGOD Y/N Y/L/N IS COMING OVER.’

peter spends like three hours making sure the apartment is SPOTLESS.

spends like half an hour trying to decide whether he should take down all the Star Wars memorabilia down from his walls

like, he doesn’t want you to think he’s a DORK.

(too late peter)

but then ultimately keeps them up, partly because shit you’re coming in like 5 minutes he doesn’t have time for this

but also, you’re a nice person! you surely won’t make fun of him for having a knockoff replica of the death star in his room.

hopefully

oh god if you make fun of him for being a Star Wars nerd he will break down in tears HE HAS TO TAKE THEM DOWN

*ding*

fuck

peter stands up from his spinney chair abruptly and scrambles towards front door.

he spent some time this morning with Aunt May for girl advice and nothing really came out of that except a very traumatizing safe sex talk and some teasing that he will never be able to erase from his memory.

he takes a fast detour and quickly stops in front of the bathroom mirror on his way to open the door, desperately trying to tame the mop of curls and his head.

did I put on deodorant this morning? crap I brushed my teeth right?

*ding*

FUCK

peter stops in front of the door, takes a deep breath and-

‘hey!’ a strangled greeting comes out of his throat but hopefully you don’t notice how nervous he is.

you don’t, because this is oblivious shit!reader

‘hi peter!’

peter is suddenly very aware of how long you have been standing outside.

‘oH! sorry, um come in!!’ he says, opening the door wider and welcoming you in with (overly?) enthusiastic arms.

‘yeah! make yourself at home and everything. you want a drink or something?’

‘water would be nice.’

peter sprints to the kitchen to get you some ICE COLD water in his favourite mug.

peter parker’s apartment is covered with cosy furniture and photos of him and another middle aged woman. half those photos are him and that woman smiling brightly into the camera.

there’s a photo that’s nicely framed above the mantle that shows a young peter beaming in front of a birthday cake, with that same woman and another unknown middle aged man smiling down at him. the photo is clearly old and crumpled, even with the frame around it.

peter looks so happy in that photo…

huh. baby peter is just as adorable as he is now.

you jump away from the photo when you hear his footsteps coming back into the living room. something about the photo seemed emotional, personal. it just didn’t seem like something you should be looking at.

peter comes back clutching two mugs and hands one to you.

‘nice place!’

‘oh, thanks… yeah my Aunt isn’t home right now, she’s downtown meeting some friends, so we have the place to ourselves……’

‘so we can study uninterrupted.’ he says.

oh of course, studying!! yep that’s exactly where your mind went when peter said the apartment was empty aHaH.

peter’s room is a little less adult than the rest of his apartment, flooded with polaroids of him and Ned, with Star Wars posters on the walls.

you ignore the pang of jealousy that you feel when you spot a photo of MJ and peter grinning in front of a bowling alley.

so for the next two hours you two are in peter’s room… studying vigorously.

you would be 100% lying if you said you weren’t disappointed only studying happened.

the weird thing is???

every time you would look down at your textbook to explain something about periodic motion peter seemed to be looking at you when you looked up?

well, looking at you isn’t very weird, looking at someone while they’re talking is just basic manners. but when you looked back he would snap his eyes straight back to his own textbook, nodding and wordlessly agreeing with whatever you had just said.

maybe it’s just your imagination but the way he looked at you, it’s almost a loving, caring gaze.

oh god who are you kidding, it’s just your brain and imagination playing tricks on you.

you’re alone with peter parker in his bedroom!! these things are going to happen!

‘hey you want to take a break? we’ve been going at this for a whole hour now.’ peter says, craning his neck to take a look at the clock on the wall.

‘has it really been a whole hour?’ you lean back in your chair looking up at the ceiling.

‘yeah okay. let’s have a small break then.’

peter picks up both of your mugs and heads off to the kitchen, groaning slightly when he stretches his legs out for the first time in an hour.

*a/n: apologies in advance to those with nut allergies*

he comes back with both your mugs refilled with (water for you, gatorade for peter) and a small bag of almonds for you to snack on.

‘oh hey! almonds are my study snack of choice too!’

‘yeah, i know’ peter says carelessly, scrolling down his phone.

‘i don’t like almonds all that much, but i bought a few packs this morning on the way to school.’

hm,, wHat

‘if… you don’t like almonds why would you get them for me?’

‘because you like almonds.’

blink.

b l i n k

it takes a bit of time for peter to realise what just came out of his mouth.

‘i meAn! I’M NOT A STALKER I SWEAR. i just see you at school sometimes and you always have a small pack of these to snack on whenever you’re doing work so i thought,, you know, since we’re doing WORK, i should buy some for you… so you won’t get hungry!!!’ he’s wailing nonsensical excuses and apologies by now.

huh.

peter parker knows that you snack on almonds when you study, and bought a pack for you even though he doesn’t like them at all.

maybe he doesn’t hate you as much as you thought.

you tear apart the packaging and stuff an almond in your mouth, your traitorous lips slowly threatening to curl into a huge smile.

(despite how much you fight against it, you end up with a slightly demonic looking huge smile on your face, which you attempt to hide by stuffing more almonds in your mouth)

(you now look like a chipmunk)

(but a cute one!!!!)

meanwhile peter is trying to hide the feeling of humiliation by resting his face in his hands, because he literally just exposed himself. he will not be able to take it if he looks back up at your face and you’re laughing at him for this stupid crush.

to his surprise, he does not look up to find you mocking his love for you, but instead, he finds you with a mouth full of almonds, struggling to chew and swallow them all without looking like a disgusting fool.

oh.

that’s kinda cute.

after a good five minutes of you trying to force like 10 almonds down your esophagus,  you clear your throat and awkwardly blurt out a ‘thank you’

‘for the almonds! it’s cute how you bought them for me because you knew how much i like to snack on them while i study. that’s really sweet of you. i guess you really don’t hate me all that much, huh?’ the last sentence comes out teasingly, a playful smile gracing your lips, but instead of uwu-ing over your cute smile, peter’s just confused.

‘why would i hate you?’ he says, his eyebrows laced together in confusion.

‘well, i always kinda got the impression that you didn’t like me… all that much? i never really knew why. hey, why did you hate me so much before this? if i accidentally did something at the start of the year that pissed you off, i’m sorry.’

your playful smile fades a little bit as you see peter basically collapse on himself just due to sheer GRIEVANCE.

‘WHY WOULD YOU THINK I HATED YOU?’ peter yells out, probably annoying the neighbours with how fucking loud he is, but he can’t seem to bring himself to care right now.

‘you… didn’t?’ you say, now becoming just as confused as peter.

he shakes his head aggressively, bringing his fingers up to his temples.

‘but… you always seemed so jumpy around me! and you would never really talk to me, and that one time i asked you for a pencil, you looked like you were dying or something! i always just thought you didn’t like me!’

oh

my

god

peter doesn’t know whether he should be laughing or crying.

‘that’s not because I HATED YOU!! that’s because- i mean- i always thought-’ he’s still yelling and at this point one of the neighbours are definitely going to come knocking to complain, but peter still doesn’t care, because he’s currently having an existential crisis.

ohmygod all this time my CRUSH thought I HATED HER because I couldn’t function like a normal human being in front of her because of how much I liked her until i gave her some ALMONDS what is wrong with me? what kind of entity that controls the universe could hate me so much to pull THIS kind of sick prank on me?

‘wait if you didn’t hate me why would you always act so weird in front of me?’

‘BECAUSE-’ peter tangles his fingers into his hair, and he kicks his chair, sending it halfway across his room from frustration.

‘how could you possibly think I hated you??? how could you possibly think ANYONE could hate you??? you’re single handedly the only good person in this godforsaken school full of IDIOTS and BULLIES! nobody could ever hate you, y/n, and certainly not ME!’

perhaps he is using an excessive amount of hand gestures, but it gets his point across.

‘wha-? what do yo-?’

‘wHat are you TALKING ABOUT?’ you say, slowly turning just as frustrated as peter.

‘if there’s ANYONE that’s decent in this ‘godforsaken school full of idiots’ it would be YOU, peter parker!! nobody would just pay attention to what I EAT so I wouldn’t get HUNGRY during a study session oKaY!! you’re so CONFUSING! every time I accept the fact that you don’t like me back you pull this bullshit, essentially making me rethink ALL MY FEELINGS!’ you say, going through the room (stepping over the toppled chair), just to jab a finger onto peter’s chest.

suddenly both of you are aware of your flushed cheeks and your close proximity.

‘wha- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?’ peter basically shrieks, and you would not be surprised if all of New York managed to hear that scream.

your cheeks darken as you awkwardly step back from him, realising that you accidentally outed yourself.

‘um- i mean,’ you stumble on the fallen chair as you desperately walk backwards with your hands behind your back to avoid peter’s piercing gaze.

*you’re not good at confrontation okay*

‘you like me?? wait wait, you like ME?’ you frown a little as you look at peter’s incredulous expression.

‘well yeah, you don’t have to rub it in like that, I know you don’t like me back.’ You mumble, looking away.

‘don’t like yo- OH MY GOD!’

this time peter stalks all the way across the room, looking you dead straight in the eye.

‘you better not be joking with me, y/n.’

you squeak out a small ‘no’ or something like that because you can’t really focus with peter looking down at you like that.

‘you mean to tell me, my stupid fat, nervous crush on you was mistaken for HATRED, and all this time I’ve been thinking I have no chance with you, but you’ve been crushing on me too all this time?’ his words come out jumbled, and a little fast, but you can decipher the general meaning.

peter parker likes you… too.

oh GOD WAT

he clears his throat, biting his lip and you can just tell he’s about to apologise, because peter’s a complete angel who probably doesn’t want you feeling uncomfortable.

‘um- uh, y- oomph!’

and in this shocking turn of events, you execute the only spontaneous thing you’ve ever done in your life and pray that it ends up well.

you lean forward and press your lips to peter’s, hoping to whatever superior being there is that this was a good decision.

spoiler alert: it was

peter.exe has shut down because all of a sudden your lips are against his and oh wow this is so much better than all those times he’s imagined it happening because it’s actually happening now.

your hands find their way to peter’s curls that he was trying so hard to get under control an hour ago but now he can’t remember why he doesn’t like his hair if it’s just going to be tugged on by you like this from now on.

he grabs you by the waist and pulls you closer to him, pretty much pressing his body against yours.

not that you’re complaining.

and god if peter died from suffocation right now that would be a heavenly way to go, and he would be a-ok with dying if it meant finally being in your arms.

you pull away from peter, both of you slightly panting before you burst out in giggles, resting your head and letting it fall on peter’s shoulder.

‘oh my god, we’re such idiots, aren’t we?’

peter hums in agreement before lifting your chin up to kiss you again.

 bonus: boyfriend! peter

definitely still stares at you in science class except now whenever you catch him staring he just shoots you a lazy grin

because yEa he has FULL RIGHTS to stare at you now because you’re his GIRLFRIEND.

you find out he’s spiderman pretty much immediately let’s be real this boy is not the best at hiding secrets

especially from his GIRLFRIENDS whomst he loves VERY MUCH.

this boy also gives you anxiety attacks whenever you see spiderman on the news saving people, getting hurt and shit, but he understands.

sends you a text before and after he gets in the suit whenever he can.

most certainly uses his spidey-powers for things they were not intended to be used for.

to visit his girlfriend so she can give him cuddles at any time why what were you guys thinking about hMmmMMMmmmM?

likes to show you off but also gets very blushy and shy about PDA

pretty much had a seizure the first time you held hands.

ned almost fainted when he heard the news (aka peter rushed to call him the second you left that night you kissed because these bitches are very gossipy)

peter parker is the ultimate clingy boyfriend.

……

and you love it.

your science teacher no longer puts you in the same group or partners you guys up now though.

because now you can’t study together, you literally can’t keep your hands off each other.

sometimes when peter is feeling ~particularly clingy he just nuzzles into the crook of your neck during lunch, and pulls you to him so you’re pretty much on his lap.

and MJ is just like yall r disgusTING

right in front of my salad.

in conclusion, peter parker loves you and you love him.

it’s honestly kind of sickening,

but you love that too.

[prettylikeadevil-swift]

Hey Taylor!

We wanted to put together a project to show you how much we love you and your songs! We’re all so so so excited for Lover and all the new songs, the memories made listening to the album, at tour and making and meeting heaps of new friends!!

So here’s a bunch of incredible people’s stan songs and why the love them so much! @taylorswift

Debut

Harishita (ig, @tayalisonswift) - I love this song because the lyrics are so relatable with me sometimes; especially when I am sad

Heidi (@heidilovestay137) - Tim McGraw has been my Stan song ever since I was 8 years old! It has helped me through all my rough patches in life and has just always been the song I go to when I’m feeling sad or happy!! The song brings back so many precious memories and it will always hold a special place in my heart! So thank you so much Taylor, for writing the song that made my life complete💖

Marta (@mlswiftie) - I’ve never really had a favourite Taylor Swift song mainly due to the fact that every single one of them is a masterpiece. However I feel like I relate to Invisible the most… every time I hear this song it somehow makes me feel less lonely cause other people are going through the same thing as me.

Sarah (@sarah-adores-swift) - this song has helped me through basically everything bad in my life. no matter what is happening, its relevant. the emotion is completely raw and just gets out the tears so you can heal :)

Haley Grace (@stateofhaleygrace) - I relate to every single word of this song and it has helped me a lot throughout my life, especially as a teenager. It is very empowering and I love to sing it at the top of my lungs!

Fearless

Rachel (@happy-for-swift) - Forever and always has always been by my side through those tough times by reminding me that the hard times will pass.

Alina (@itsaswiftstory) - Love Story means so much to me because it is such a happy song and it always makes me smile while listening to it! It was one of the first Taylor songs I was listening to and it just amazes me because it is so beautifully written! I don't even know why I love it so much but it always lifts up my mood!💗💗💗

Emilee (@emileelovestaylor) - Change is my Stan because it is just a strong message, and as someone with white skin (and I mean this in the nicest way possible) I want to work with the privilege I have to shine light on marginalized communities. This song pumps me up to do just that, and the melody is gorgeous.

Febe (@13taylorswift13ts) - Love Story was the first song that I heard of Taylor. That was the moment I knew that she was going to be a special person for me

Sammy (@sammylovestay13) - The song Fifteen has always been special to me because I’m always nervous on the first day of school and it’s reminder that I’m not the only one who feels this way. The song Out Of The Woods has always been a special song for me and the fact that Taylor chose New Zealand to do her music video makes me even more grateful that this song is in my life.

Jane (@janeheartstaylor) - I love forever and always because it’s not only was the first song by Taylor that I heard but it also helped me when one of my closest friends and I parted ways. even though the scenarios are different, it felt really nice knowing that I could turn to Taylor and this song and having someone who understood what was going on.

Sarah (@theirgetawaycar) - Change means the absolute world to me. It’s a song that’s been there comforting me in my times of need. When things get tough, it’s a source of hope and reminder things will get better. No matter what happens in life and what struggles I face these things will change.

Speak Now

Bella (ig, @tayobsession13) - This song means a lot to me because it describes my relationship with my best friend. I have the time of my life fighting dragons with her

Clara (@claraisreadyforit) - I love this song because i can really relate with the lyrics, they make me feel better when i’m down, and i always sing along!

Sarah (@theswiftiesarah) - The story of us means the absolute world to em. It’s such a fun, uplifting song with such emotional lyrics. I can’t thank you enough for writing it T, it’s helped me through so much and always puts a smile on my face 💞

Kat (@tookapxlaroidofus) - Haunted is such a powerful song, and it’s one of those that you can sing your heart out to and it will get you out of any bad mood you were in! The violins! The bells! The whole production of the song, and the tour version! It’s also a song I listened to a lot with my mum when I was younger because we loved to sing it together! It’s a beautiful and powerful song that I’ll forever love!

RED

Mika (@handstiedtaylor) - all too well means so much to me because of how powerful the lyrics are. it really showcases taylor's talent as a songwriter and her voice sounds so so beautiful in it. i was lucky enough to hear it on the red tour & again as a surprise song on the reputation stadium tour, so this song also had some incredible memories attached to it💗

Nina (@ninaheartstaylor) - I love that song because it always cheers me up when I'm sad or in a bad mood! I relate to the lyrics a lot because I basically did exactly the things you (Taylor) are singing about. It means A LOT to me because I love the line "like we're made of starlight"! when I'm in a bad mood I just think of that lyric and I'm happy again because it reminds me of how everyone matters and is important.

Abby (@cleanspeech) - i love this song so much. it is a deep song about how fame can really be and it is important to taylor. i love this song because as soon as i heard it, i kept it on repeat for hours when red came out. this song is so glamorous and beautiful and the beat and lyrics are amazing. i love this song so much!

Jasmine (@alltootwell) - All too well means so much to me because the story and emotions behind it are so raw and real. It was one of the first songs I heard from the Red album and it has always been one of my favourite songs since then. This song has showed Taylor’s growth the most in that we’ve seen Taylor’s most vulnerable moments when singing the song and Taylor’s happiest moments when singing the song and realising that millions of people know all the words to the song 💓

Chloe (@thechainonyourneck) - sad beautiful tragic means the world to me because of the depth of the lyrics and melody. this song has gotten me through so much shit and it's just so so beautiful I stg. headphones in and rain outside, it's just perfect. and onto dbm. I listened to reputation and fell in love with this song. the vocals and the prospect of seeing it live just made me fall in love. and when I finally did see it live it literally took me to church in a crying emotional state 💀 will be forever grateful to you @taylorswift for writing these two masterpieces and for not losing the ability to hit home with your lyrics over time. I love you and much you love writing, forever and always 💓💖💕💞💗

1989

Lola (me!! @lolaheartstay) - hey Taylor!! i love ootw so much because it’s such a banger and it never ever gets old,, it was also rep tour auckland’s surprise song which was so special, it was the best day of my life! I remember when Taylor was in New Zealand filming the music video and I was so excited that she was actually in my country, like for real. when I went to australia in 2015 i listened to out of the woods on the plane, it was the first time i’d heard it and i literally listened to it on repeat for the full four hour flight, i was obsessed! one of my favourite lyrics is ‘two paper aeroplanes flying’ and i’ve always planned to get a tattoo of a paper aeroplane for this song! i really hope one day we can hug and i can tell you in real life how much i love out of the woods and you! love love love, lola!! <3

Brittany (ig, @awesomeswifties13) - This song means so much to me because at the time it came out I was in a very bad/abusive relationship and was dealing with an addict. This song gave me the strength to get CLEAN and leave the relationship. I’m now 3 years sober!mI hope can hug taylor someday and just say thank you!

Joji (@youfeltenough) - Clean means so much to me because it really helped me let go of things that kept me from being happy, thank you Taylor 💓

Priscila (@newromanticsss89) - The reason why I love New Romantics is because I can dance to it like no one is watching. It really makes me feel good about myself. My favourite lyric is “the best people in life are free” and I 100% agree with that! 🌼💗

Georgia (@celebrationofswifties) - new romantics is such a beautiful song & it makes me so so happy, it is the BEST song to dance like crazy to!!

Lauren (@thenameofbeinghonest13) - Out of the woods is a song that I’ve been obsessed with since Oct. 27, 2014, when 1989 came out. This song was so meaningful to me because I would listen to it every day in the car on the way to school with my Dad. I love the lyric, “the rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color” and am so happy that Taylor wrote this song!

Gabriella (@ycuareinlove) - you are in love was instantly one of my favourites from 1989 but after seeing it live I became obsessed. I think getting to sing it with Taylor felt so special and every time I hear it I just think of us doing the echo part with her. I’ve always been a daydreamer and thinking about love and having that for myself one day has always comforted me, and the song just explains everything I ever want in future relationships. it’s the dreamiest, most beautiful song and I can’t explain how magical it is to me. it just feels like home every time I listen to it. 💗

Liv (@longlivthemagic) - This song has a special place in my heart, because i used to always play it whenever i was having a panic attack to calm me down <3

Jaimie (@taylorswiftlet13-hk) - I love the song New Romatics because it reflects ME! As a person. The song is extremely catchy and the lyricism is amazing. Throughout my life, I have been bullied and in the end, I built a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me, and became a stronger person overall. Thank you so much for everything you do Taylor. I love you so much.

Sanya (@delicateswift1989) - Blank Space was the first song that I heard and I loved it immediately.It always cheers me up and will always be a special song for me

Bella (@bellaheartstay) - clean means so much to me, as it’s helped me through the toughest times and has inspired me to keep going :)

Reputation

Lydia (@yourmarkonswift) - I love Dress so so so so much because the kind of the detail of storytelling in the song is just so heart touching. The bridge is one of the best bridges Taylor has ever written and makes me emotional all the time.

Alexander (@alexanderadorestay) - King of my heart is my favourite Taylor song because I have made many memories while listening to the song plus the chorus 😍

Ginger (@gingeryswift) - I love New Year’s Day because the reputation album came out right when I was going through a fallout with an old friends and NYD hit me hard. The lyrics were everything I needed and more and overall, the line “please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” resonated with me so much because it was exactly how I felt at the time. 💗💗

Kendall (@kendallovestay) - I love getaway car because it has such incredibly written lyrics and it just makes me feel so nostalgic and happy 💓

Naomi (@naomilovestay) - At my reputation concert, metlife n1, i was in the front row of the b-stage where you sang dress. In that moment, i felt like it was just you & me in the room. I will forever be thankful for that experience. I love you so so much & i hope we can hug soon!! xoxo naomi!!

Hunter (@tayloroftodayy) - my stan song is getaway car because it has such an interesting and powerful storyline and always cheers me up and puts me in the best mood. you can listen to it when you’re feeling any emotion and it’s the best thing EVER 💗

Hayley (@delicate-stan13) - Delicate is my stan song because it helps me get through all my rough days. And it’s really fun to sing and dance to!!

Olivia (ig, @olivialovestaylor7) - hi I’m olivia and gorgeous is my favorite song of taylor’s because it is such a beautiful and happy song!! it captures the way you feel when you start liking someone perfectly and it’s just SO soft🥺🥺along with that it’s just a fun bop that you can literally listen to whenever! thank you so much taylor for writing gorgeous💕 

Emily Grace (@longlivetaysxift89) - I love CIWYW because I can personally relate to the lyric “I’m doing better than I ever was” because I’ve had to deal with a lot of mental health problems and right now I’m truly doing better than I ever was

Ella (@taylorsoldbluejeans) - i love delicate because it is such a beautiful song that can cheer me up no matter what! 🌈💓

Bessie (@flyawayswift) - Hey my name’s Bessie and New Year’s Day is my favourite song because it NEVER fails to make me cry, and it’s the most beautiful and delicate song in the world!! I’m so grateful to Taylor for writing such a masterpiece

Alexa (@kingsofmyyheartt) - I love king of my heart because it’s a pretty, happy, calm song that has a beautiful bridge and has such pretty lyrics! No matter what it’s sure to put a smile on my face!

Mia (@thisloveisdelicate) - I love the song delicate because is shows how your friends have to like you for who you are and that they aren’t gonna change you!!

Tayla (ig, @islandbreezeswift) - this is why we can't have nice things is my favourite song by Taylor because it helped me in a rough time when one of my friends kept stabbing me in the back while shaking my hand. the lyrics to tiwwchnt were extremely relatable, it felt like it was written for me. even though i'm no longer going through problems like this, this song is a bop and makes me dance!! thank you Tay for this song, ily from Tayla xoxo

Kartik (ig, @indianswifty) - On New Year’s Day I proposed to my girlfriend and this is our favourite rep song

Lena (@the-swiftie-scientist) - Call it What You Want reminds me how much Taylor had to struggle to find someone who stood by her no matter what 💫 it shows how important it is when you find someone who loves you for the things you are and doesn't care about rumors and gossip, someone who will stand by your side even when 'they took the crown' ... Also, it has a personal significance for me as it reminds me of how someone I love literally runaway with me on late November flying above the whole scene 💗 It's definitely Taylor's softest and most precious song, I will love it forever 💕

Sveva (@newtaylor89) - I was going through some bad times at school when i first heard this song. I was starting to have anxiety attacks, I started to avoid my friends hangs out and started pushing everyone away. Luckily my real friends stayed with me and helped me through that dark period of my life and so did this song. Now every time i listen to it i remember that my friends and Taylor will stay with me "when it's hard or it's wrong or I'm making mistakes". THANK U TAYLOR, FOR WRITING THIS EMOTIONAL SONGS, I'LL NEVER THANK U ENOUGH FOR WHAT U HAVE DONE TO ME! ILY

Mikayla (@weweredxncing) - The reason why i love this song so much is because whenever I listen to it, I just feel happy. It gives me hope that in the future I might find as love like that.

Lover

Laura (ig, @frenchbabytay) - I love ME! Because Taylor talked in my language with Brendon, she’s feeling better after her bad moments and the music video is like Shake It Off!!! It’s so funny and she makes me dance!!!!

Anne (@annewantstomeettaylor) - Me - ee - ee, ooh - ooh - , ohh - ooh - ooh ! This song really means to me because every time my anxiety and depression attacks me this song gives me light and joy. And every time I feel conscious about myself this song makes me realize that I'm the one of me ! I can't explain the happiness I feel every time I hear this song. ILY T !  ♡♡♡

Olivia (@so-ready-for-it) - I love the song ME! So much because it’s all about embracing your individuality, and I’ve struggled with my low self esteem for such a long time, and the positive message of the song reminds me that I’m unique and perfect in my own way 💓

[turtle-steverogers]

Snow Day

skeet skeet on the yeet Emelia and Andrew are back i love these kids

warnings: none

ship: ralbert

editing: no its kinda eh

Race and Albert laid tangled together under their warm blankets, watching quietly as snow fell in sheets outside the window.  It was 9 am on a Tuesday, really they should be up by now, doing something productive.  But Andrew and Emelia had the day off of school and Race wasn’t needed for work due to the weather, so they couldn’t seem to find the motivation to get up.  

Albert tucked his chin further into Race’s neck, humming softly, “It’s really coming down out there,” He mumbled.

Race shifted so that Albert was laying across his chest instead and sighed, “Yeah, s’gonna be fun to shovel up.”

“Aye, we’ll make a game of it,” Albert said, lightly, “Have the kids help us.  They’re six, that’s old enough to impart child labor onto, right?”

Race laughed, “Oh, for sure,” he paused when the sound of footsteps rumbled outside their door, “Speak of the devils.”

Their bedroom door burst open and Andrew and Emelia ran in, bounding onto the bed, “It’s snoooowing!” Both children shouted, jumping up and down and effectively breaking Albert and Race apart.

“It sure is, kiddos,” Race said, sitting up and reaching out to pull Emelia onto the bed in between him and Albert.  

Albert snatched Andrew out of the air, mid-jump, and placed him on his lap, “You excited to have the day off?”

Andrew and Emelia nodded vigorously, grinning widely, revealing matching missing teeth.

“Can we build snowmen and drink hot cocoa and oh! Ride our sleds?” Emelia asked, enthusiastically.

“Absolutely, bug,” Race said, brushing some of her tangled hair out of her eyes, “But first, you two have to help Daddy and I shovel.”

Emelia and Andrew pouted, but surprisingly didn’t argue, “Okay, Papa,” Andrew said, crawling off of Albert’s lap and sitting cross legged next to Emelia, “But can you make pancakes for breakfast?”

Race and Albert exchanged glances, making a silent agreement.  Albert smiled, already swinging his legs out of bed, “I think that can be arranged.  Go with Daddy to get into your snow clothes first, though.”

Thirty minutes later, all four of them were fed and geared up, trudging out of the garage with shovels in hand.  Emelia and Andrew were each holding colorful sand shovels they had bought the Summer previous when they went to the beach, and although they weren’t the most sufficient for shoveling snow, they worked.  Albert and Race were planning on doing the brunt of the work, anyway.

“Andrew, you go start helping Papa at the end of the driveway, me and Em will work up here,” Albert said, already beginning to shovel snow off the pavement.  Andrew nodded, hoisting his shovel over his shoulder to mirror Race.  Race smirked at his son and the two of them trotted to the end of the driveway and began shoveling.

Twenty minutes passed with no noise other than the sound of shovels scraping ice.  Race reached up to wipe some cold sweat off his forehead, feeling slightly spent.  He always forgot how much work shoveling snow was.  He stood up straighter, feeling his back crack from being slouched over so long, and watched as Andrew diligently shoveled small amounts of snow onto the grass.  

“You’re being a trouper, bud,” He praised, earning a smile from Andrew.

“I know!  I’m doing good, just like you,” Andrew piped back and Race grinned fondly at him.

“You sure are, dude, almost earned your hot-” He was cut off by snow hitting him in the back of the neck.  He resisted the urge to curse as he stumbled forward from the impact and whipped around to see Albert, holding another snowball.  He looked entirely too proud of himself and Emelia was doubled over giggling next to him.

“Oh, you are in for it,” Race warned him, reached down to pick up a handful of snow.  He balled it up haphazardly and chucked it, hard, at Albert, who dodged it easily.

“That the best you got?” He challenged.

Race glared at him, “Andrew,” he said, not breaking eye contact with his husband, who was resisting the urge to laugh.

“What?” Andrew asked, looking between him and Albert innocently.

“Give me your shovel,” Andrew held the bright orange shovel out for him, which Race took wordlessly.  He bent down, making a show of picking up a large amount of snow.

Albert furrowed his eyebrows, watching in confusion as Race strolled closer to him.  His eyes widened as Race lifted the shovel behind him and he only had a moment to shield his head as Race launched the snow at him.  

Albert staggered backwards, shaking snow furiously out of his hair.  He lost balance, falling unceremoniously into the snow and Race laughed, Emelia and Andrew joining in.

“Daddy,” Emelia shrieked, “Papa got you good!”

“Mhmm, but now Papa’s in trouble,” Albert said, pushing himself onto his knees and lunging forward at Race, tackling him down into the snow.  Race let out a shout of surprise and he reached out blindly to grab a small handful of snow, shoving it into Albert’s eyes.

Albert wiped the snow away hastily and scrambled off of Race, picking up Emelia and running behind one of the snow mounds they had made, yelling, “Snowball fight!”

Race grabbed Andrew, pulling him behind one of their mounds.  They quickly produced a small pile of snowballs and ran out, making a beeline toward where Albert and Emelia were sheltered.

The four of them launched snowballs at the other team, until Andrew shouted, “Every man for himself!”

Snow was flying everywhere, dissolving into powder and seeping through jackets.  They all fought until they were panting and laughing on the ground.  

“Snow angels!” Emelia exclaimed, waving her arms and legs to create a lopsided angel.  She stood to look at her work, “Look Daddy, Papa, look!”

Race and Albert lifted their heads from their places in the snow, “Looks awesome, darling.” Albert complimented.

“Papa,” Andrew whined, laying himself dramatically across Race’s stomach, “I’m cold!”

“Alright, man, let’s get you in,” Race said, wrapping his arms around his son and standing up, tossing Andrew over his shoulder.  

Andrew laughed flailing his arms about wildly, “Daddy,” he yelped, reaching out for Albert, “Save me!”

“I gotcha, slugger,” Albert said, plucking him off of Race’s shoulder and propping him on his hip.

Emelia ran over to Race, raising her arms in question.  Race picked her up, “Ready for hot cocoa, love?”

“Yeah!” She twisted around to look at her twin, “Andrew it’s hot cocoa time!”

Andrew cheered, as Albert put him down on the welcome mat inside the house.

“Papa’s gonna help you guys outta your wet clothes and into some cozy ones, while I make the hot cocoa, okay?”

“Okay!”

Race assisted the two of them in changing back into their pajamas, then sent them up to Albert while he threw their snow clothes into the dryer so that they could be used again later.  When he got to the living room, he discovered Albert, Andrew, and Emelia already cuddled on the couch, sipping from mugs while they watched the beginning of The Polar Express.  There was a mug waiting for him on the coffee table and he picked it up, settling next to Albert on the cushions.  

He tucked his legs under him, sipping his hot cocoa as he nestled into Albert’s side, “Thanks for the cocoa, babe.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Oh, and by the way,” Race whispered so Andrew and Emelia couldn’t hear, “I totally won that snowball fight.”

Albert let out an offended squawk, “You did not!”

“I did, too.”

-

they’re still literal children i stg

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

TAG LIST: @bencookisagod @we-dont-sell-papes @suddenly-im-respecsable

@aw-jus-let-em-try @well-the-kids-do-too @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @thatpoorguysheadisspinning @spec-s-pecs

@andthewoildwillknow @the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog @sunshine-e-cigarettes @have-we-got-news-for-you @musical-shitposts @thebroadwayaesthetic

@thomasbeingthomas

@irondad-spiderson-duo

@snakesarenonexistent

@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing

@kpop-kk

@mentallytiredgoat

@yxseminx

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen

@stopthe-presses

@elmers-half-a-cup

@and-i-lostmy-shoe

@spot-me50-papes

@honeynutpoptarts

[lovelylunarwriting]

College Roommates!GyuHao

College Roommates!GyuHao 

WHAT A PAIR 

Minghao went into college thinking "I just want a roommate that is chill and I'll be fine" 

Mingyu went in thinking "I just want a roommate that won't steal my stuff" 

Both of those wishes were not granted when you put these two together 

Hao: "it's three in the morning, why are you playing mariokart" 

Gyu: "I'm trying to beat every Grand Prix in one day, wanna join?" 

Hao: "why not, it's not like I needed to finish a paper anyway" 

Gyu: "Wait are those my earrings???" 

Hao: "ah I am foreigner, I can't understand" 

Gyu: "so they aRe mY eARRinGs, I thought I lost those!" 

Hao: "well ya lost them now. And the cup, I just blue-shelled your ass" 

Gyu: "I'm so freaking done with you I stg" 

Naw but Mingyu will be doing really random things at late hours, or try to do something very quietly because it's late and then make a huge amount of noise and wake up Minghao 

Minghao is unamused at first but he gets used to it and whenever he hears a giant 'CRASH!' at two in the morning he just thinks "oh Mingyu is probably trying to do a handstand or something" and goes back to sleep 

When they get their morning Starbucks together (because you know they do I will fight someone on this) Minghao is like "hey man. Did you die last night like what happened" 

Mingyu always tells him exactly what he did and it gets more and more ridiculous tbh 

"I tried to do a handstand" (Hao: "I fuckin knEW IT") 

"I thought I could summon Jihoon from a Ouija board but I got freaked out and threw it out the window" 

"I thought I'd take up art and make pottery but the pottery wheel was not only very loud but really hard to use??? So I gave up after five minutes" 

"I misplaced my hairdryer so I tried to use a Bunsen Burner instead and the end of my hair is a lil too toasty is ya catch my drift" 

Hao: "I may or may not have your hairdryer" 

Gyu: "I WOULDN'T HAVE BURNT MY HAIR IF I HAD IT" 

Hao: "NO ONE ASKED YOU TO LIGHT YOURSELF ON FIRE" 

Random Starbucks Employee: "excuse me but could you keep it down, you're disturbing other customers" 

Gyu: "..." 

Hao: "can you believe them, like the audacity to tell us, paying customers, that we're too loud?" 

Gyu: "yeah I know right we weren't even screaming yet" 

Basically it's meaningless (and usually funny) quarrels between each other, but 98% of the time it's them together vs everyone else 

They look out for each other and if a person is talking shit about one of them, the other WILL intervene 

Mingyu would be like "hey that's really mean and here's 3157 reasons why Minghao's great" until the person gets bored or loses interest and leaves. Or they get shook by Mingyu towering over them and nope out. 

Minghao would be more like "if I ever hear you talking shit about Mingyu again, I'll kick your ass so badly that you won't be able to physically speak ever again" *person runs away, grabs their passport and flees the country* 

So even though Mingyu is a curious yet clumsy giant and Minghao borrows things without asking, they end up getting over these differences and become the best of friends 

Mingyu, being a culinary major, is always in the communal kitchen making something because boy can EAT 

Minghao is totally okay with this because free food for him. And he doesn't have to live off ramen forever like the rest of the kids on campus 

But like if people know Mingyu is gonna cook, they flock to him because he can't say no if they ask him for some bc "wow someone wants my cooking, I'm so flattered" 

And Minghao is like "bro they just want an easy meal" but Mingyu is not discouraged by reality 

These two still want a majority of the food for themselves though so they sneak down to the communal kitchen either really late at night or deadass early in the morning and make mass quantities of food to last them the next handful of days 

Mingyu usually does all the cooking (and insists that he should because it'll taste better), but Minghao always comes with him because he's worried about Mingyu being by himself when no one else is around 

Like Minghao knows that Mingyu is clumsy and what if he decides to do a headstand, and instead of knocking over their bookshelf like last time, he breaks his neck? Minghao's thinking "if he wants to do something dumb I can at least stunt him and/or call an ambulance immediately after" 

But one time Mingyu is like "shit I forgot the <random ingredient>, I'll go run to a convenience store. Watch the rice" 

And Minghao does watch the rice, but Vernon sent him a snapchat of Hoshi drunkenly doing a cartwheel into one of the campus fountains and Minghao was like "I bet his snap story is full of Hoshi doing embarrassing things- blackmail collection time" 

So he watched his phone. And not the rice. 

He didn't even realize it was burning until the smoke detectors went off. VERY loudly. Across the whole building :') 

He's thinking "shitshitshit everyone in this dorm is gonna hate me" so he runs outside and hides behind a random bush 

All the people in this particular dorm are groggily shuffling out of the building and wondering who is to blame 

Because let's be real, 9/10 times when smoke detectors go off, there's no fire. It's either someone curling their hair and the steam sets it off, someone vaping, or someone burning food. 

Mingyu comes back after the majority of the residents of their dorm are outside and he's just like "fiRE!? Where's Minghao?!?" 

He power walks through the crowd looking for Minghao until he finds DK and is like "bro wtf is going on??? is there a fire??? have you seen a skinny Chinese man anywhere??? Why are you smiling at 3 am under these circumstances???" 

DK is like 1.) someone burnt food, idk who tf was cooking •and Mingyu is both relieved because at least Minghao isn't dying in a fire right now but also its pretty much their fault. But DK continues. 

DK: "two- there's no actual fire from the food burning, Seungcheol put it out with a fire extinguisher. three- I haven't seen Minghao but if you want someone to help you look, Jihoon's your guy. He's ridiculously observant. And four- have you seen Vernon's Snapchat story?? Lmao look at naega hosh vs the school fountain" 

Mingyu watches the video of Hoshi cartwheeling into a fountain and is only comforted a little because he just wants to find his best friend 

Mingyu is a lil intimidated by Jihoon because Jihoon has constant resting bitch face and an aura of "I'm tired and don't want to be bothered by anyone" 

But he goes up to Jihoon and is like "plz halp I can't find my wife" -and Jihoon is like "your wife???? Is that supposed to be Minghao?? Okay let's go look" 

It takes Jihoon a hot second to find Minghao crouched under a random bush, and to notice Mingyu with a bag of ingredients 

Jihoon puts the pieces together and drags Minghao out of the bush and takes them both by the ear, dragging them up the front steps of the building so that everyone huddled outside can see them 

Jihoon: "these are the assholes that set off the smoke alarms. I have a 6 a.m. class and I'm sure you all are peeved about this so to make up for it, these two are going to buy everyone coffee in the morning" 

*Half hearted screams and cheers from the crowd of tired students* 

Seungcheol the RA is like. "Not really sure if we can enforce this but I'm all for peer pressure so everyone write down their orders of what they want from Starbucks" 

And that's exactly what everyone does and Mingyu and Minghao end up paying like 3-4 hours later that morning 

Minghao may or may not have spit in Jihoon's coffee while no one was watching 

After this fiasco they've learned that when they cook at unreasonable times in the morning or really late at night, they should never leave Minghao to take care of the food 

•Mingyu makes him chop the vegetables as punishment but then lectures him for doing it wrong and ends up taking over and just doing it himself 

This dynamic duo seems like they should be completely dysfunctional but they have a lot of fun, even if it's complete chaos

[pentomic]

ambush

The convoy comes to a sudden halt.

Inside the Sdkfz, none of us can see anything. Gruber cracks a Pervitin capsule between his teeth, grins. Scharführer Heinrichs snaps his head up like a bulldog, glances around. 

This is it.

I look down to where the StG 60 sits heavy in my hands. Twist around, pack scraping against the hull, to where the firing ports are, push the flap aside and peer out. Same as ever, another smashed East Colony street. They built these by the thousands after the Civilization War, ready for settlers from the Vaterland to fill. 

Looking around at the deliberately laid out street, the houses and shops in the classical Germanic style, it is hard-- it is always hard-- for me to truly believe it all went to shit so fast. My sister went to the East, after her husband’s KZ service qualified them for farmland and “native labourers”. Their settlement burned three months ago. SD statement said the entire population of the town had been herded into the Worship Centre and burned alive. 

Animals. Rats. Monsters.

Heinrichs takes a deep breath, wipes his nose with the back of his hand.

“Hey!”

Up front, the assistant driver half-turns around. 

“What?”

“Why have we stopped?”

The assistant driver reaches for the radio handset, fiddles with it, speaks into it. His answer comes back in a burst of unintelligible static.

“Apparently the fucking Jew rat partisans have blocked the road.”

“Ah, fuck.” The noise explodes out of our burly sergeant. “OK, children, it’s time for us to do our jobs. We pull security while the Sturmpioniere clear the blockage-- and pray to Odin or Jesus or who-the-fuck-ever the ZOB doesn’t come down on our asses.”

I have heard stories of the Jew partisans. They are called the Jewish Fighting Organization, ZOB in Polish. They work closely with the Ukrainians and the Poles. All three groups have reputations for brutality. Often in training I had nightmares about them-- the Polack fat and stinking of drink, the Ukrainian with a long greasy topknot swinging into his face, and the Jew-- more terrible than all my most horrible dreams.

The rear door whines open. Gruber catches my eye and gives me an unfocussed Pervitin grin. Instinctively I reach for the plastic pill case that rides in my tunic pocket. Should I? Just one amphetamine pill would sweep my fears away in purest exultation. I notice my left hand is trembling. No, no Pervitin for now. Must wait-- must force myself to wait. Daylight pours through the rear of the Sdkfz. 

Heinrichs roars the command. 

“EVERYONE OUT!”

I pick up the StG, wrap my fingers around the plastic pistol grip. It feels good, it feels like death. They taught us this in training, all about the blind Baldr, slain by blind Hodr, and how we were Baldr and Hodr at once, beautiful and terrible, blind without our chain of command and deadly when properly directed. Sudden pride fills my body. I remember the films of the KZs, the great kremas, the experimental labs for the glory of the Reich. We are the industrial killing machine, the avatars of a new age. Is there anything that can truly stand against us?

Outside the Sdkfz, our boots crunch on the crushed pavement. We round the corner of the vehicle, smooth and slow. My knee hits the pavement, my rifle butt presses against my shoulder. I peer up at the hollow houses and burned-out shots from under my helmet. Petersen taps my shoulder and I stand, advancing while hugging the side of the Sdkfz. The vehicle commander stands up in the low turret, one hand on the MG42. Together we leapfrog up, our half-platoon spreading out across the convoy, guarding it from all harm.

In front of us, the other Sdkfzs are disgorging their contents, including the rest of our platoon. Untersturmführer Albrechts strides toward us, grinning. His helmet is off, and his cropped blond hair is blinding in the sunlight. Scharführer Heinrichs salutes and moves to the platoon commander, opening his mouth as if to say something.

Time slows then. The Untersturmführer gives a sort of horrid shudder as his head jerks to the side, a gout of pinkish red replacing the side of his face. Heinrichs hits the ground, his face a rictus of shock. 

This is when the machine guns open up.

They are hidden in the houses. They are hidden in the shops. They are hidden everywhere. Muzzle flashes sprout like flowers in my vision, even as the Untersturmführer’s blood soaks into the gravel.

The Sdkfz in front of me explodes. Heinrichs grabs my shoulder and yells something I cannot hear. Over my head, Petersen is firing wildly, his voice stretching out in one long wordless yell. My heart is pounding away over the hills, but I am suddenly deeply and astoundingly calm. 

The protocol is to move away from the vehicles, go to ground and request support. I line up my front sight with a muzzle flash and squeeze the trigger. The StG jumps in my hands, a reassuring feeling. I keep firing, in the requisite short bursts, as I back away from the Sdkfz. I can feel the rest of the half-platoon around me-- a well-oiled machine, powerful and right. I wonder if I have somehow ingested Pervitin without noticing. I am calm and focussed. 

Out of the corner of my eye, the streak-flash of a rocket. One of ours? Then the Sdkfz in front of me-- my Sdkfz, the one I rode in on-- explodes.

The shockwave hits like a hammer blow on my torso. I hurl backwards, and as I pry my eyes open, my face stings like a thousand shrapnel needles are piercing it. As I struggle to get up, I realize my rifle has been blown to god knows where. 

“Fucking hell.” I am so damned winded. The world spins briefly, and I close my eyes. When I reopen them, my nightmare of seven years is standing in front of me. I have seen his picture in the Museum to a Vanished Race, in Prague. I have seen his image in The Eternal Jew and its four sequels. I have seen his evil in my nightmares.

Around me, the Jew partisans stalk. They are picking among the smouldering remains of the convoy, their massive Jew noses twitching. They haul Heinrichs gasping to his feet, force a stunned Petersen up at the point of a pistol. Gruber is emitting gasping sobs, eyes darting every which way, hands bound. 

The Jew in front of me looks into my eyes. His own are large, brown, intelligent. I feel as if I am staring into the abyss of history. It is at this point that I realize I am crying. 

Strong hands grab my own, force them behind my back, tie them. I inhale a glob of dusty phlegm, nearly choke, and half-snarl, half-gurgle “Untermensch!” The Jew’s eyes widen, and then he laughs.

I take another deep breath and growl “Didn’t you hear me the first time, you piece of Jew dog fucking scum kike goddamn--” There is pity in the Jew’s eyes, and I suddenly realize what I must look like. My helmet has slipped over my eyes, my hands are bound behind my back, and I am gasping, sputtering these curses at this Jew, this piece of subhuman scum who has just destroyed my column, killed my officer, captured my comrades.

A tall man strides into my limited view, his dirty blue-and-yellow armband marking him as one of the feared Ukrainian partisan groups. He addresses the Jew who has been examining me, and the Jew answers back. They laugh.

The Ukrainian pulls a large knife out of his belt.

The Jew moves closer to me, takes my face in both of his hands. His voice is soft, almost tender. He speaks in German-- good German.

“Listen, little man. Here is what we are going to do. We are going to kill your comrades, one by one, and you will watch. We will make you watch. Then we are going to let you stumble and wander back to your nest, and you are going to tell your masters that the people of the forest have spoken, and they have said that you can kill us, you can haul us from our homes and slaughter us, gas us, burn us, grind us into ash, and it will be as if you have not killed a single one of us. We will always return, and everything you have built we will destroy. That is our solemn promise.”

I realize it then. We have been played for fools. We have been sold a bill of the cheapest possible goods. In his hubris, his ultimate power-mad insanity, our divinely chosen leader decided to try and exterminate the only people this world has ever produced that no one can ever exterminate. The true Judaism. It is not physical. It travels with the air, infecting and changing those it touches. How many times have the Vopo busted down the doors of a good German household to find its members puzzling over an ancient edition of Tales of the Hassidim, or a Hebrew Bible, or-- horror of horrors-- a new-printed Talmud? None of them can explain the hold Judaism has over them. Every week there are more.

How many empires, how many nations have tried? How many have crumbled to dust, leaving only the Jews? One might as well try to kill the Sun. I know it then, I see it then, I feel the flames and hear the laughter, it is the great dome at Germania, burning! It is burning! The massive concrete edifice, the Arno Breker sculptures-- burning! And in its place, a synagogue. The largest synagogue ever, filled with millions of Jews, singing, laughing, praying, learning, on the ashes of the greatest and most terrible empire the world has ever seen! 

And when you are faced with a revelation like this, what else is there to do but laugh?

[mingishoe]

HOLY SHIT- i was in the middle of my korean class but THE minute i saw the notification i RAN to tumblr BUT HOLY SHIT DHLSSHSKSJSK IM NOT OK

THE SMUT WAS SO GOOD EVERYTHING WAS SO GOOD SJSKSJLSKS BUT THE SMUT THEY FINALLY DID IT OMGBSJSNSJSJ bUTTT one thing im a liTTLE confused about was while y/n was giving hwa that yum yum 🥴 did san see them or just hear them? like that part was a little fuzzy for my coz of THE FUCKING BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH like i stg NO ONES WRITING HAS EVER DONE THIS TO ME ONLY YOUR PIECES 😫 also i had this rly weird thought, like this entire chapter was what i visualize fever (enhypen) to look like? idk? BUTTT DID HONGJOONG AND MINGI FUCK? OH MY GOD I WAS DYING COZ I HAD NOTHING GOOD TO READ not to be creepy or anything but i swear ive read all of your works over 7 times, im not exaggerating AND THIS CHAPTER WAS LIKE RAIN DURING A DROUGHT FOR ME like i amount of times i verbally said pause coz i was so flustered oh my god hdkeheksjsl

anyways i hope you had as much feeling writing this as i did reading it, how have you been tho? :)

-🪐

AH! THANK YOU!! IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT😩 but yeah it was a little fuzzy for San too. Considering they were outside and it wasn’t very well lit neither San or Wooyoung could see them. It was only whenever they heard the two of them they were able to see them. Since y/n was… on her knees😭 and like facing Seonghwa, San couldn’t really make out of it was her or not obviously Wooyoung knew though bc Seonghwa said they were going outside but San didn’t know that but that’s why San was like no it can’t be her maybe Wooyoung just misheard AND OMG PLEASE🥲🥲🥲 YOU SAYING THAT YOU GOT BUTTERFLIES MAKES ME HAVE BUTTERFLIES🥴 THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!! But that’s a super interesting way to think about it! Speaking of Fever,, I was actually thinking about making a playlist for Promise 😳 what do you think about that idea😳 BUT YEAH AKDHJS I mean it was hEAVILY implied that they did fuck so🥴 but yeah I’m thinking of making a side chapter and write the smut BUT PLEASE YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY 😩😭 it makes my heart go nfjshdk and it’s not weird or creepy at all! However I do apologise for my early works bc they’re questionably written😭😭😭 but yeah! I had so much fun writing this chapter and I was really getting into the smut scene if you couldn’t tell😭😭 overall I’m just really enjoying this series and when I’m done I will definitely make plans on making another one 😳

I’ve been well though! I haven’t been doing much so I’m glad I’ve had time to write and relax since the past few weeks I’ve been pretty busy but yeah 😩 how’ve you been?

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 11/23 NXT 11/25 NXT UK 11/26 Smackdown 11/27

Raw:

Such a hollow promo by Lana tbh. “I’m dreaming, don’t wake me up.” ??? You were the sole survivor by proxy, it’s not like you did anything. Like good for you, but come on now.

I mean sure, hand out a title shot to fucking Lana, not like anyone else in the entire company cares about that belt. God I miss Becky.

“You may go home Raw women’s champion” HAHAHAHAHAAHHA sure.

“Nikki Cross blames herself for what Alexa Bliss has become,” she should, she straight up threw her hissy fit cuz she didn’t win the title, and then she bailed.

Now don’t get me wrong, I get that Alexa has been... possessed, if you will, by Fiend... but I’m not seeing any signs of Stockholm Syndrome when it comes to her and Bray. Aren’t they both trapped by Fiend in lore? Bray seems to genuinely care about Alexa. Am I off the mark here??

Oh my god this moment of silence for the fucking frog, I--

Topped with them laughing about his death, oooookay. I’m left speechless once again.

Commentators come back with, “Is Alexa Bliss too far gone...” LMFAO bye.

See I love this bullying Lana storyline cuz Nia and Shayna have no real reason to despise her 1/8th as much as they do. It simply boils down to ‘fuck Lana’ and like your typical high school bullies, they seethe when their victim succeeds at anything. It’s old school, believable, and doesn’t cross any lines that would upset parents or sponsors.

Also don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that this title match is just a vehicle to advance the feud while involving Asuka, I simply wish the creation of the title match itself had been a bit more interesting. Lana’s dialogue ahead of it with both Sarah and Asuka just fell flat for me.

Omfg Asuka threw water on Nia and Shayna, bahahahah I can’t breathe. That might be the highlight of her entire reign, holy shit.

Negative points for her being floored by one punch though.

Well at least the segment ends with both Asuka and Lana standing, that’s not the worst.

Not much to say about this match, it’s really just Nia and Shayna bullying Lana lol.

I’ll give them this, there is absolutely nothing about neither Nia nor Shayna that is even remotely likeable. They play mean really well, and not ‘annoying yet funny’ mean like Bayley, just straight mean.

It’s not that I hate this submission ‘hold’ by Shayna, where she steps on the back of their neck while pulling a leg back, but I’m curious why she switched legs lmao. Awkward.

What a knee strike by Shayna to Asuka, whew that looked nasty.

Lmfao Nia took herself out by charging into the announce desk. I cannot. What a bump. Comedic bump, but a bump. Points.

Haha Shayna ate a rollup. A happy ending indeed. Lana sold that ending well, but it was a weird choice to have her and Asuka on the opposite ends of the ramp.

It’s been like 2 years and I’m still shocked Alexa never turned on Nikki.

This video is kind of just skipping over Nikki throwing her tantrum huh? Alexa played backseat cheerleader just to watch Nikki lose against Bayley 16 times and what did she get in return? Disrespect. Tsk.

Great package though. Points.

Nikki is so inconsistent. Internal conflict is valid, but she’s standing here claiming Alexa gave up on their friendship. First of all, this was initially instigated by Nikki. Second of all, she did nothing but trash Alexa’s boyfriend(?) when Alexa was nothing but kind to her after Nikki was a douche. She was confused so she gave Alexa an ultimatum, and now she’s pissy cuz Alexa chose him. This is toxic, I honestly have no sympathy for Nikki.

“I’m going to beat the Fiend out of Alexa Bliss” that’s... that’s not how this works... alright well you’re a shitty friend so, anyway.

Alexa slaps the back of Nikki’s hands and claims she won. I fucking can’t, she’s such a treat.

Lol Alexa’s just laughing at her.

My first introduction to Alexa was her as a master manipulator. Not a damn thing has changed.

Alexa has lost her god damn mind rofl.

*Bonus* online exclusive: victim Nikki, everyone. Why wasn’t this on Raw? Jesus they fill Raw with so many garbage replays while meaningful interviews to fill plot holes are put online. Dumb.

Lacey’s really running around calling Peyton “PeyPey” good lord.

I mean she’s right, Peyton was the weakest link. Just saying.

“10 sizes too big” shot at Uncle Melted Cheese.

I fucking love how Lacey pronounces “opportun-tit-ies” lmao. I thought it was an accident at first but honestly it’s great.

They have zero chemistry in the ring but at least they’re fun outside of it.

Highlight: I know I say Alexa every single week but shrug it’s Alexa

---

NXT:

Alright Ember’s theme is wearing on me. She just has awesome theme songs.

Indi is really pretty and I love how she does her hair.

All nxt heels are the same; cowardly run from fights, slow methodical wrestling in the ring, recruiting muscle optional. It’s tired. At least be a good promo. Dakota is a good promo. She’s buyable. Actually where’s Dakota, I wanna see Dakota wrestle. No more Candice.

Holy shit that fall away slam onto Candice. Fucking THREW her ass across the ring. Whew everyone wave bye to Candice.

The setup to that step up senton by Candice was way too obvious.

Candice is too whiny.

Ah just as I’m beginning to get bored, Dakota comes out. It’s like nxt knows me.

Haha KO correcting Vic being a bad commentator.

See Candice isn’t even a bad wrestler, her style as heel just fucking blows.

Peeped that call by Ember.

Such a stupid setup to have Indi push Candice out of the way to take an Eclipse herself. It’s not like jumping in front of a bus. There was time. Whatever. I hate Candice matches 9 times out of 10 so there’s that lol.

...so is Toni a heel yet??? I’m guessing they’re going for “badass loner babyface-leaning tweener” for Ember, but Toni is not a tweener. She could’ve been, alas she is not.

Haha Toni is funny. Good, let her be heel. Maybe she’ll show some personality.

Alright but hear me out, what if we had a War Games team without Candice???

You did say we’d see a whole new side of you, Toni. Been waiting to see it though.

Wait back up, didn’t Toni attack Candice after their match recently?? Okay anyway.

“Rhea Ripley/Io Shirai? Doesn’t get any bigger than that.” True Rhea, now move up to the main roster plz.

Oh man Io’s basement dropkick fucking nailed Rhea in the face lol, oof.

“Where do I go from here?” TO THE MAIN ROSTER.

I don’t hate the tank and I don’t hate the idea of wearing a helmet, but those horns are super pointless.

Shotzi “pyromaniac” Blackheart. Stealing one of Alexa’s gimmicks.

It’s gonna be Shotzi, Io, Rhea and Ember, right? Who else would it be??

Rhea says she’s there to stay. Ma’am I stg if I have to wait til after wm to see you on the MR...

Me: super invested in Rhea cutting a fantastic promo and seeing how far she’s progressed as a well-rounded talent; Candice: “lol fuck you”

I hate Candice. I will fill this review with vitriol for Candice, I don’t care.

How... how did Io “steal” any victories from Candice? What help did she have? Is it drugs? Is Candice on drugs?? Candice you haven’t even held the title, shut the fuck up. Also all of y’all can sit down cuz only one woman on that entire brand has had a singles match at wm.

Oh shit they laid Io out. That’s a yikes.

In kf, the only threat to Rhea on that entire team is Toni.

I mean sure 4 people was way too much for Rhea to handle, but man they let her look pretty fucking good. The way she immediately slid out to give Raquel the high boot was smart as hell.

Dakota looks good. She gets style points.

Soooo Xia gets acting points, but what in the fuck is going on with her and Boa’s story...

Why do I have to see or hear Candice again? Jesus lord.

There’s someone else masked? *sigh* I don’t care, goodbye.

Highlight: Rhea’s promo that Candice ruined

---

NXT UK:

I enjoy watching neither of these women wrestle, but at least Jinny’s persona is appealing and she has solid character work. She’s easy to dislike, so she gets heel-potential points.

Did they say Isla’s mentor is Nikki Cross? That’s... interesting...

So is this match gonna be interrupted by Piper? Probably not.

“This is an aggressive Isla Dawn,” well hey, maybe she actually started working on her stamina.

Jinny is vicious lmao.

Probably Isla’s best showing tbh.

I hate it when people jump off the top turnbuckle and then break into a slow, clunky roll, just to stand up and act as if their knee is tweaked. It’s so messy to me. Be smoother or don’t aimlessly jump off the turnbuckle.

Whole lotta yelling in the match.

Really don’t give a shit about a future Jinny/Piper match but okay.

Highlight: Jinny comes off as a vicious bitch, so that’s nice

---

Smackdown:

Oh snap Bianca’s graphic has some real potential.

Ayyyeeee it’s Captain Bayley. We starting our Bianca/Bayley feud?

oof Nattie straight outsmarted Bianca as the vet, there. Bianca friggin speared that ringpost.

“I think I did the world a favor, we got to see Bianca Belair shine,” she’s not wrong, Bianca was absolutely my mvp from SvS. In hindsight speaking from current day, Bayley really set up Bianca to be the upcoming star of this division, starting with SvS.

Oh snap did Bianca just call Nattie a bitch? How dare she, that’s Nattie’s only patented insult!

“You don’t want to get counted out again,” lmfao Bayley’s so annoying.

pppffffftttt Bayley inadvertently getting her ass whooped tonight.

Yeah somehow this is all Cole’s fault lol.

No, stop, no more “them” promos. Bayley cut this promo literally a year prior, we don’t need to hear it from Carmella, too. Besides, she was never necessarily a fan favorite that the crowd gradually turned against like Bayley was. It’s different.

WHAT SHOTS ARE YOU CALLING?? Is this about Reggie? Has he even appeared on screen yet?

Lmao Sasha beating her ass. Good for her. Looking good while she does it, too. Sasha in shiny silver... whew.

The wwe shop ad with the Riott Squad was worth a mention. They entertain me and they deserve tag titles. Not sure why wwe is still dragging their feet, but commit to them already, damn it.

Highlight: Bianca/Bayley seeds being planted

---

*Smackdown shined the brightest this week. Short, simple, straight to the point. Left me wanting to throw on next week’s episode, which no other show accomplished.