#but i just wanted to let it off my chest

[spicedmilktea]

TW: Loss of grandparent and pet, cancer, grief

Super random but I miss Christmas in the early 2010s. I miss having all my family members around, I miss feeling excited whenever I see malls starting to decorate and going to them almost every day just to enjoy it, I miss actually doing Christmas shopping instead of just adding things to my cart online, I miss carolers coming over, I miss going on my annual week-long Christmas/New Year leave...

I miss feeling excited, I miss how magical Christmas felt (up till 2018 but I digress). Each year, I just see it getting smaller and more quiet for us. Two of my siblings and a few cousins are living overseas/outside the state and their jobs make it difficult for them to come home for the holidays.

My late grandfather who passed away in November two years ago adored Christmas, and I felt how different it was during our first Christmas without him. My grandmother was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer last month and I don't know how much time she has left with us because my parents don't talk to us about it and they refuse to do so. They tell me she's taking medication but won't tell me anything more than that.

My late cat, Granville, passed away in June this year, and I look at his Christmas hat that he wears every year for Christmas and I feel an even deeper sense of loss and grief for all those years I took for granted.

It's tough growing up, because doing so means we start to lose loved ones and the magic we held in our hearts for things we were once so excited for. We start to see it as an obligation, and we even start to dread them.

But I want to try and be excited for these things again, to feel genuine happiness that I'm still here to celebrate another year with loved ones.

[pokimoko]

I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.

[stuckinapril]

me stoically navigating my way through drama bc bigger things are ahead and it’s not my fault people are dumb

[cubbyhole-for-flea-bee]

Apologies

[just-null]

How do we feel about Beach wear Noritoshi....

Everyone thinks he'd go covered head to toe wearing those wet suits divers use, but no. Noritoshi isn't the type to want to attract attention to himself when it's not needed, so he'd try to blend in. Emphasis on try.

He's the guy wearing a covering or some shit. I think you'd have to fight him to wear a translucent one. (if you splash him with water, you'll acheive the same effect thoughahahaha) even though it's a beach, he's trying to find an appropriate way to cover up, hes just like that. yes to sunscreen ofc. I can see him in a sun hat, but it's not his.. maybe he took it from one of the girls

HIS HAIR WOULD BE UP BC ITD BE TOO HOT AND THE SUN HAT WOULD HELP HIM FROM GETTING OVERHEATED H.H....H IS FACE WOULD BE FLUSHED BC OF THE HEAT AND. AND. AND.. he's like the beach babe on the shore, soaking up the sun and reading a book or smth. if you splash him with water, i can see him trying to get you back. then boom bam, hes in the water with everyone else.

OH FUCK that's even IF he goes to the beach. it's like seeing God in the flesh, idk man I'd go blind........... hed probably come along when he realizes theres hot people at the beach. he cant have you looking at people in that state, hold on hes going. give him five minutes..!

EXTRA

[untied covering version under the cut. like his booefjehsaf are out aha.]

ahahahahahahahahaa *froths at the mouth*

mf dont even begin to look at me like that

[rustyghostviolin]

I'm going down the rabbit hole of why Albert threw Frank in the well and I need to ramble about my thoughts because omg I need to get all of this out

This all kind of started with me seeing that a lot of different media contains a child falling or being thrown into a well. I was curious why this was so common so I looked into it a bit further. Turns out that back in the day, disabled or children deemed not good enough were sometimes; very rarely though; thrown into wells. Being locked in the attic was more common, but being left for dead in a well was apparently more common than it should've been. Which got me thinking, was that why Albert threw him in that well?

Albert very clearly has a facial scar or deformity even before the beehive incident, which just made his facial scar even worse, which might mean that he was disabled in other ways. We also see how sadistic Albert is, probably a mix of the abuse he endured as a disabled child in some way and mental illness. What I'm trying to say is that Albert clearly wasn't treated very well by his family; his mother gave him wine as a baby for God's sake and the beehive incident is just clear proof; and he wasn't going to let anyone else get the love that he was deprived of.

So let's get to why I think Albert threw Frank in the well specifically. Of course this could be just because he was the first nephew and was given the love that Albert was deprived of, but I think it goes deeper than that. I've seen lots of people in the fandom headcannon Frank as nonverbal or having some sort of speech impediment; which I TOTALLY agree with; and that got me thinking... This *popularly headcannoned* nonverbal kid with big dorky glasses was thrown into a well; a way of getting rid of a disabled kid back in the day; by his probably disabled uncle...

Albert threw Frank in that well because he saw that he was treated with the love that he hadn't been given. He saw similar traits in Frank that he himself had and was jealous that he could be loved despite his disability. I'm literally writing a fanfic at this moment with this theme

[demodraws0606]

Being a q!BBH fan is having to be hit again and again with the fact that no one will ever care about his lore or ever recognise that he is one of the largest roleplayer in the server (non debatable)

[lisa-cuddys]

For everyone feeling the need to add that they don't want to see dt or ctate in dw again, to my gifset from David and Catherine panel re: the other idea rtd had for the doctordonna story, you DO realise I didn't ask for your opinion and you could just reblog the set and make your own post, right? also you do realise that big finish exists and even IF they decide to tell this story, it could be an audio adventure, right? yall can't enjoy a gifset or fun panel without inserting you negative 5 cents, especially under someone else's edit. rant over.

[savemebeel]

Sorry for the lack of edits recently, I’ve been trying my best to keep up with it all but I’ll be honest it’s a little difficult doing that since I’ve been sick for this past week. Not only that but I recently changed jobs so now my schedule is a bit different than what I had before.

I’m still keeping up with editing the latest cards but I’m still behind on finishing some memory cards from the last 2-3 events which I apologize for. I’m hoping to get over my fever so I can get the energy to edit and upload those cards for you guys. I appreciate you guys being patient with me while I recover.

Also I’d like to be fully transparent about this as well but I feel like I’m losing that motivation to edit as a whole. Before I say anything else I wanna make sure y’all know that I’m not quitting on editing any time soon, but I would be lying if I said I don’t enjoy doing it like I did before. Editing now has turned more into a chore than it does as a hobby. Maybe it was when I lost my first blog or it was the lack of engagement but I do not enjoy editing like before. I feel bad saying this since I know to those who’ve stuck around me do like my edits…idk I just feel stumped on what to do or how I’ll move forward with this. For now I’ll be editing at my own pace and give myself small breaks in between so I can finish edits at my own time.

[makorragal-312]

Okay...

So the Buck and Chris conversation DEFINITELY didn't go the way I thought it would. Even as a joke.

Excuse me while I go in a corner and cry.

[vmbrq]

ovulation horny is something neither ethan landry nor charlie walker is equipped to handle LMAOO

unless.

[gurenmonster]

I didn't want to say anything but since people have kinda calmed down:

I think some people don't realize (and I don't want to say "or don't care" but ya know...) that Damien doesn't want to be just associated with Smosh? Like he even has a rule on his streams about it lol

So like when people were sort of demanding(?) answers or reactions from him (or anyone really) it was super weird...

no matter how close they are (or how close we think they are) we are not entitled to know everything and they don't need to talk to us about their private lives,, even more so Damien who is very private 😬

And obviously he doesn't need me, a stranger, to defend him, and I'm not, I just didn't like seeing how weird and invading people were being :/

[willkimurashat]

Rant? (potential spoilers?)

Alright, don't hate me for this, but I actually feel bad for Amelia. Firstly, no one's interested in her romantically (story of my life, and let me tell you, that really does your head in sometimes). Secondly, she's been put in the middle of drama multiple times now, for the sake of drama and/or for shaking her already somewhat shady/unsteady relationship with her twin. Thirdly, the guy that is supposedly head over heels with mc (in my game it was Roberto) goes on to kiss Amelia and then she has to act like nothing happened because she doesn't want to cause more drama for her sister, plus, he still acts all pouty around mc and looks disappointed when she doesn't pick him at the recoupling. Who's to say that Zeph didn't actually pine for Amelia the whole time he's been in a relationship with mc, and Amelia just had to watch that with pain all these years?? And now she has to see everyone in the villa swoon over mc, while she is, again, left in the shadow. I meannn, if I were Amelia, I'd probably cry all day or walk, ngl. So no, I don't want to be her enemy, we're siblings and I want us to be on the same team - I don't want any discourse between us, I just want to forget the past and for her to be happy in a couple with someone who genuinely cares for her.

[freakbullet]

when deltarune first came out I bought the OST. I didn't absorb the titles that much because I was basically just listening to the whole thing on repeat. so I'd completely forgotten the name of a certain track, and when I was reminded of it the other day, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I've never really had a home that truly felt like home, for all sorts of bad reasons. but I find comfort in fantasy, especially undertale and deltarune.

2015 was one of the worst years of my life. when it started, despite struggles with PTSD and depression and more of that ilk, I was physically healthy. when the year ended, I'd nearly died - I'd been in and out of hospitals for months while doctors tried to figure out exactly what the hell was wrong with me.

the hopelessness of learning I had an illness I'd have to live with for the rest of my life, on top of the despair I already wrestled with - it was too much. I decided the only way out was to end it all.

but then I played undertale. there's nothing I can say that would ever do that experience justice, but if you know, you know. the point is, I'm still here. despite everything, it's still me. and that's not a coincidence.

so when I saw that this one beautiful, nostalgic track that wraps me up like a warm blanket every time I hear it, that reminds me of the friends, the family, I first made in these games all those years ago, is called, "You Can Always Come Home"… man, I lost it.

Toby once said about Toriel: "Your mom loves you." maybe it's silly, but I never had a mom who loved me, until her. so thanks, Toby. it means so much more to me than you could ever know, that I can always come home to my friends and family, and my mom. who loves me.

[darlingpoppet]

Where The Dead Forget — Chapter 6: Guilt

Hades Gameverse Memory Loss AU | Achilles/Patroclus | E | Chapters: 6/22 | Words: 60,353 (Ch 6: 9,450 words)

Chapter 6 Summary: Achilles reflects on his reunion with Patroclus and has bad dreams. Hypnos demonstrates his abilities as an ASMR youtuber. Patroclus tells a story. Achilles has a better dream.

Excerpt:

Achilles enters his bedchamber, his mind as cluttered as the room before him. The sight of it at once makes him weary, and he sinks onto his pallet with a heaving sigh.

Why won’t you just… forget about eternal glory? The both of us together… don’t you see? We are already glorious.

On the journey home, Achilles had turned the pages of his memories, rereading them all with fresh eyes. The low simmering sense of revulsion in the pit of his stomach had only grown more acute as he traveled lower into hell, and now, back in the depths of Tartarus, he feels deserving of its darkness and its isolation more than ever.

There is no one in the world who loves me more than you, is that not so? So then… why not let me be the one who loves you the most?”

“Indeed,” he mutters aloud into the silence of the room. “It is a question I should have asked as well. Why couldn’t I have allowed myself to be the one who loved you the most, in turn? Glory be damned.”

Achilles has realized he is even more of a fool than he thought. How could he have forgotten Patroclus’ words at this crucial moment? How could he have not even listened?

Time and again, Achilles has always only been thinking of what he himself wanted for the two of them—never compromising, never considering what would make both of them happy. Has Achilles ever truly seen Patroclus as his own person? Or has Patroclus always been simply an extension of himself in his own mind, someone Achilles could not fathom to separate from his own ego?

Lord Hades had even made the suggestion for both of them to enter Asphodel together—it could have been their second chance at the modest, peaceful existence Achilles had eschewed in favor of a life of glory. How careless he had been to immediately reject it out of hand.

And now, here is the consequence. Patroclus was left with no choice, and so he drank—the ultimate act of defiance—in order to reclaim his agency once and for all. The nature of his memory made it apparent that this was an extraction with all the precision of a surgeon’s knife, wholly himself but for that one missing piece: the metastasized part of Patroclus which had drained the vitality of his very soul, slowly killing even his eternal self. Even then, it seemed, it had been too late, with Patroclus left completely spiritless and despondent. But perhaps in his mind, it was better to be miserable and alone by his own choice, rather than to be tormented by the memories of a man who did not truly honor him the way he should have.

Read the rest here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43292178/chapters/132992266

Previous Chapters: 1. Drown | 2. Grief | 3. Grace | 4. Weakness | 5. Together

[marinerainbow]

🍷 Oh I'm so intrigued XD Can I uhhhhh request Moony? ♡♡♡ XD

... 😏😏😏😏

~

"God, why do these shirts feel so stuffy???" Moony huffed under his breath, having hidden away behind a wall to adjust the collar of his white button-up, and doing his best not to growl in frustration. Poppy had made adjustments to his work uniform to fit his large frame already (before, it felt like the buttons were ready to burst just by his ribs. Forget buttoning up his chest), but it still felt so hot and clamy. And he couldn't even bring his little Cake with him to work because of the restaurant policy... This was gonna be a long shift.

"Moony, I just sat you! Just a party of one."

"Shi- Ok, got it!" The wolf gave a nervous smile before quickly, but carefully, running off to grab a water. How his coworkers could easily slip between all the tables and each other, he had no clue. Fortunately, he didn't knock anything over and swiftly made it to your table.

He was still getting the hang of this new job, and looked a little awkward. Especially with his attempt to look less intimidating by slouching just enough where he didn't tower over you. He didn't flash his pearly whites at you like other servers, and you could tell in the slight strain he felt very out of his element. Though he was clearly trying his best with the warmth behind his smile and the careful way he sat your glass down and folded his paws in front of him, "Hello, miss. I'll be your server today. My name is Moony. Can I get you anything while you're looming through the menu?"

~

Thank you for sending this in! I hope you enjoy reading this ^^