#but i hope its okay and not creepy that i made fanart???

[lokorum]

so....................i've read unraveled the other day.................... and then ive re-read it.........and now im in the middle of re-reading it again????

honestly cant promise that im not gonna keep coming back to it until someone would steal my phone and then i'll just log in from the pc lets be real here (¬‿¬ ) but!!! what i wanted to say is that its just such a good fic?? so well written? it has all the right words in just the right order and i can and will argue till late night that it healed part of myself that i had no idea existed. these descriptions of hugs??? gonna stay with me untill the very end  (*_ _)人  

and drawing something is the least i can do to show just how much your work means, @2btheanswertothequestion  (/▿＼ )

"unraveled" became my spiderverse canon since the moment ive finished chapter one and it will stay this way!!! thank you so so much for all the long hours and all the hard work you clearly had put into it!! you're amazing!! ♡

[nhothicket]

ON MY KNEE IM IN LOVE WITH YOUR BAND AU ON MY KNEES BEGGING FOR ANYTHING ELSE YOU HAVE TO SPARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A FANFIC, FANART, JUST A SIMPLE LIKE ANYTHING TEXT POST SOBBING AND WEEPING AT YOUR FEET!!!!!!!!

I decided to do both some art and a fic because you asked so nicely!! Thank you for the nice ask, I hope this is what you were looking for ^v^

I couldn't come up with a good title for this fic whoops.

Words - 1.4k

No warnings, they're gay and they act gay

Summary - Etho finds himself dragged away from the safety of his tour bus and into the den of very scary and very cool rockstar, Bdoubleo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wash up on your six." Pause lightly elbowed Etho with a snicker. "Comin' right for ya."

"Hurry up then." Etho tried to push his bandmates into the bus, but the chase was over before it began.

"Etho!" The threat approached.

"Beef, move-"

"Sorry man, you're on your own." Beef climbed on and turned to give him an entirely unapologetic smile. "You guys have fun now."

"Hey-" The bus door shut right in his face. "Beef! Pause! Hey!"

"Ethooo!" Two arms slung around his neck from behind, awkwardly pulling him down and backward. Etho gagged and turned around. Face to face with the tiny menace of the festival grounds. "Long time no see!"

"Hey, Bdoubleo."

"So formal, you're no fun, sweetheart." Bdubs puffed his cheeks out. "It's been like a y- like whole year, c'mon, loosen up!"

"It's been a few months and I'm busy."

"No you ain't. I saw your buddies ditch ya." Bdubs offered up all the charm he could muster. "Wanna hang out in my van?"

"Not creepy at all." Etho's protest was weak willed. He leaned down and ruffled Bdubs' hair without even thinking about it, it came as a second nature at this point. "Yeah, sure."

"You just can't deny me. I'm irresistible!"

"Uh-huh."

"Your sarcasm is no use!" Bdubs dragged Etho across the lot to his shabby old van. Etho would judge, but if it weren't for Beef and Pause, he'd be touring out of the back of his ancient pickup. Bdubs threw the back doors open and hopped inside. "Didya see my set this morning? I know it was a bit early for someone like you."

"Of course I did." Etho gracefully ignored the last comment. Perched on the edge of the trunk, Bdubs' enthusiasm was contagious, his prideful smile was so genuine it made Etho smile a bit under his mask in a shallow imitation. "Loud as always."

"You know it!" The back of Bdubs' van was surprisingly clean. Two seats sat on each side and a mini fridge was pressed into the back corner. A soft mat was rolled up opposite to it, presumably Bdubs' bed. Bdubs got up to flop onto a seat and pat the spot next to him. "Beer?"

"Uhh..." As soon as Etho sat down an arm settled around his shoulders. "Yeah, sure. Why not?"

"That's what I like to hear." Bdubs opened up his little fridge and tossed Etho a can. He refused to remove his arm from Etho's shoulders and instead used his teeth to crack his own can open, kicking the fridge shut. "Off with the mask! I'm not some fanboy, I'm the real deal! Itsh been so long, I've missed seeing your dopey face."

"Bold words coming from the goofiest solo act I've ever seen."

"I am not goofy! I'm hard!"

"Oh?" Etho pulled his mask down just to show Bdubs his smug smirk.

"Don't- don't give me that! You know what I mean!" Bdubs growled. "I'm a rockstar!"

"You were like decades ago."

"And still going strong!" Bdubs took an obnoxious gulp from his beer. "You are awfully mouthy for a man who plays a freakin' keytar, what decade is it for you?"

"You'd know, old man."

"I am not- Okay, old lady! Fresh outta the 1600s!"

"Boomer."

"That's my name! Don't wear it out, Ethel!"

They glared at eachother for a moment, locked in a silent staring contest. Bdubs and his obnoxious doe eyes were forever unbeatable though, and Etho was forced to blink. A very ungraceful winner cheered and crushed a can to further punctuate his manly dominance.

"I'm never forgiving Pause for telling you."

"Aww, but its so cute." Bdubs pinched Etho's cheek. "What, your parents wanted a girl or something?"

"Sure, something like that." Etho sipped from his beer, sliding a bit down the seat so Bdubs could more comfortably pull his charm. As small as Bdubs was, it was always comical watching him stretch to take up the more dominant flirting positions. Etho knew he'd sit there with his arm up around his shoulders until it went numb if that's what it took.

"You haven't told me you missed me yet."

"I forgot I even knew you."

"Ouch! Rude." Bdubs leaned closer and winked. "I think about you all the time."

"Yeah, because you're the most jealous person I know."

"Guilty as charged!" Bdubs chirped. He easily slid right back into joking when his attempt at flirting was met with more banter; Etho wasn't sure he'd be able to recover that quickly himself.

"Plotting my downfall, huh?"

"I'll get you some day."

"I'm rooting for you."

"Thank you, sweetheart! You're always on my side." Bdubs tapped his can to Etho's. "To ruining your career."

"To ruining my career."

The pair fell into a lull, Bdubs kept chatting, but it was mostly white noise. Bdubs talked just to talk and Etho listened just to listen. It was only a few beers later and the lull transitioned into a comfortable buzz. Bdubs got a bright idea. He reached over the seats in the middle of the van, clumsily pulling over his decorated acoustic guitar.

"Any requests, Easy?"

"Anything but one of your own." Etho absent-mindedly dropped his arm around Bdubs' shoulders, reestablishing the connection that had been broken when the shorter man went to get his instrument.

"You are so mean to me." Bdubs puffed his cheeks out as he thought. "We should do some music together sometime."

"You'd be eaten alive." Etho considered the reputation Bdubs had. "I can see it already— you fighting with all the people online."

"It'd be worth it." Bdubs played a few random chords. "We could do a love duet."

"With Pause? I'm not a vocalist, Bdubs."

"You didn't deny being in love with me."

"I wouldn't have to love you to sing a song with you."

"I'd write it about us, baby."

"Uh-huh." A brief silence started to build, but Bdubs quickly broke the tension with a snicker, Etho followed suit. "You're an idiot."

"C'mon! You got a good voice. We could do an epic rock ballad."

"I'm good."

"Your loss!" Bdubs turned back to his guitar, but Etho could see the mischief brewing on his face. "You still like Paramore?"

"Don't play it."

"I learned a song just for you!"

"Don't play it, Bdubs." He already knew what the sappy romantic had in mind.

"You are so unappreciative. I go out of my way to learn a nice song from the 'music' you like." Bdubs threw up air quotes and Etho just rolled his eyes. How a man who'd sold his soul to the system could stand to be so critical of what counted as music was beyond him.

"Give me your guitar."

"No!" Bdubs got two chords out before Etho pulled it from his hands. "Hey! Hey! Give it here!"

"I'm not letting you try to serenade me with a song you heard on the radio."

"You know it would work! C'monnn!"

"Absolutely not." Etho held the guitar away from Bdubs, but regrettably, he couldn't hide his smile when his mask was around his neck.

"You come into my house! Sit on my bed! And dare disrespect me like this?"

"We are in the back of a van, Bdoubleo."

"My home away from home!" Etho leaned across the trunk and dropped the guitar onto the other seat. Bdubs immediately tried to lunge for it, but Etho caught him in a bear hug before he could even stand up. In fact, being hugged instantly stopped Bdubs in his tracks. "Woah, hey- guess I didn't need to serenade you at all!"

"Sure." Etho pulled away so he could see Bdubs' face. Alcohol warmed cheeks, dark eyes, and a stupid smirk.

"Like what you see?"

"Maybe."

"Shomehow, you manage to dry text when you talk." Bdubs rolled his eyes. He leaned up and kissed Etho, his patience worn thin in his buzz. Etho pulled him closer. "I missed you."

"Me too." Etho finally admitted. They sat with their foreheads pressed together.

"You could afford to text back more often, I know you ain't that freakin' famous."

"Isn't the anticipation more fun?"

"Don't play coy! I know you're just lazy."

"Guilty." Bdubs pressed a flurry of kisses to Etho's jaw.

"You're lucky I even allow you in my pre- in my presence, I don't usually kiss fans."

"It's a good thing I don't care much for sellouts then."

"Kiss my ass."

"Ohh, the bad boy said a curse word."

"Get out of my van, I'm sick of your stupid face already." Bdubs grumbled. Yet, his arms stayed locked around Etho's waist. Etho made no attempt to change that.

"Gonna be at our set tomorrow? It's past your bedtime."

"You're worth stayin' up for." Bdubs cooed. "Better dedicate a song to me."

"We'll play twinkle twinkle little star for you."

"On your nerdy little fake guitar?"

"On my nerdy little fake guitar."

"Adorable."

[bookishfeylin]

I know you’ve already talked about this before but I am still baffled that Bat Bitch lovers hate Tamlin for physically hurting Feyre (rightfully so, nothing excuses this and I also want Tamlin to grovel at Feyre’s feet) in a moment where he unintentionally loses control of his magic and in the same breath excuse the fact that their Lord and Savior physically and intentionally twisted a bone in Feyre’s arm to force her to accept a binding contract and tattoo something (ugly and creepy af imo) onto her against her will. Like??? You all hate and despise Tamlin for an act that Rhysand took to the next level??? For an act Rhysand did purposefully??? Like you guys really said “Tamlin is an abuser, he hurt Feyre, he’s dangerous, he deserves to die and he deserves to have his court taken away from him BUT let’s make fanart of Rhysand sexually abusing Feyre and forget the fact that he twisted her bone and used that moment of her desperation to force a bond onto her.”

And for the love of fuck, Rhysand did not need to twist her bone. He did not need to force a bond onto her. He did not need to tattoo her against her will. If we’re gonna act like “oh you never know what it was like for Rhysand under Amarantha’s control” then I don’t want to hear one fucking person talk about “Tamlin definitely participated in Rhysand’s mother and sister’s death” because we don’t know what it was like for Tamlin to live in that household with a father more abusive and malicious than Beron and who was, coincidentally, working with Amarantha. (It’s like there’s a connection there or something??) At least in Tamlin’s case he was a fucking child. Rhysand’s 500 year old ass couldn’t think of a better way to help Feyre outside of physically harming her, sexually assaulting her and drugging her?? This is your Most Powerful High Lord of Prythian, I know you guys aren’t unaware that he had the exact set of skills needed to help Feyre in the best ways possible. His powers are literal darkness and memory manipulation, but please tell me again how he needed Feyre to consume drugged wine to make her forget what happened. Please tell me he needed to kiss her against her will when he could’ve shielded them with a blanket of darkness and made it look incriminating. Also you guys are the ones who keep bringing up the fact that Rhysand was a victim of sexual assault?? So why the fuck is he doing the same to someone else? To the supposed love of his life?

It lacks maturity to hate something just for the sake of hating it (because that’s what it is when you’re kissing the ground Rhysand walks on and hoping Tamlin dies in the most excruciating ways possible, when they’ve both done terrible things to Feyre). And its even more immature to love a character so maliciously flawed unconditionally. Tamlin stans don’t put him on an untouchable pedestal the way Rhysand stans do to Rhysand. We recognize that what Tamlin did was shitty and half of us don’t even ship him with Feyre after the events of ACOMAF. But god if one of us says one thing about Rhysand being less than perfect its yOuR aN aBuSe ApOlOgIsT. You don’t love Feyre if you think its okay to excuse one of her abusers but not the other.

I’m so sorry this got long and ranty but the way I still see these bullshit arguments in the year of our lord 2023 unabashed and without shame from people who claim to be Feyre stans drives me up a fucking wall

Same hereeeee

Most of the Tamlin stans are calmer, so I feel more comfortable vibing around you guys than the Feysand stans because the excuses for Rhysand's abuse are wild. Thus far I've only seen one Tamlin stan I had to block for being misogynistic towards Feyre and for apologizing for his abuse--which is still wrong, mind you, but not nearly the number of Incogonito Rhysan-- er, I meant Feyre--stans I've had to block for the same behavior. You'd think ACOSF would've been an awakening to Rhysand's abuse for these people, but it wasn't. He was ~retconned~ according to them, and it's funny that they're accusing Sarah of retconning a love interest's behavior when they once would die before admitting she does that lol

[sleepyivoryrose]

All my interests seem to fall into a curse of some kind - Bandai Namco is holding .hack// hostage, Blue Period had an awful anime adaptation (even though the live action one looks really promising, but its not my cup of tea), the GANGSTA mangaka got really sick and couldn't end the series (as far as I'm informed) and now the mangaka of the TAD manga might go to prison...i hope it's fake news, but I've seen in on tumblr and on twitter...

...on the other hand...the animal crossing rumor that next game is going to be completely in a city made its rounds and persisted for quite some time...

Hm....hm....HMMMM!!

Man, I guess it's just more motivation to keep making fanart of some sort.

At least Pokemon and Animal Crossing are thriving as always. You can't mess with the power of cute, no you don't.

---

Right now I am in a bit of a slump, creative wise...like the ocean, it seems to have it's tides. I have been submerged into the depths of it for long enough, it's time to at least try to fight back against...well, against this stagnation.

But how do I do that? I am not strong willed, or very smart, or at least disciplined in some way or another. Organizing myself is also not exactly my forte.

Maybe it's time to work on my drawing and writing techniques. More learning oriented, yknow?

Now I've got at least time, if anything else, might as well to put it to good use.

I tend to be endlessly stuck in the clutches of the neverending cycle of posts of social media.

But how else am I supposed to observe and learn? I could go outside, but my most interesting subject, people, is, well...I'm too socially awkward and not very sly to start people watching. Some might even take offense to being used as reference material. No, I can't do it.

Procastination is the greatest enemy of creative progress. Boredom in itself, on the other hand...

--

One of my favorite books dropped a line once: "Forge your blade in the fires of your wrath, that will be your strength." I'm tired of running from my feelings. I want to feel alive. And I will use those feelings, to run ever forward.

It will not be easy though. Many times I will fall to lethargy and feel hopeless and alone. But I will rise. Sooner or later, I'll get up again, and keep running.

Working with my feelings in a productive matter seems to be the best outlet for now.

Take all this frustration and anger, and produce something meaningful out of it. Confront myself with these ugly manifestations, and gain the ability to not drown in them.

It's scary. Not only because the feelings itself are creepy, but the things and people who provoke these feelings will always be there, and they will not be happy to see my true self.

They seem to forget that my illness is nothing to sneeze at. That I am plagued with thoughts and feelings I wished I could bury ten feet under. Contradictory thoughts and feelings, that slowly convince me that this ugly beast that lurks inside me is the real me.

These are difficult times. And if my old me could at least one thing well, is survive a crisis, acting when everyone is frozen in fear.

Keeping a cool head, even if things seem chaotic and scary at first.

And that's what I will do now. I will strive to be the version of myself I want to be. Even if nobody understands me, or hates me. It's always been like that anyways. I just need to get strong again.

---

But to end this entry in a less intense note...

Last days were rainy like crazy. That makes me happy, the temperature is nice, if, of course, humid, but I got almost used to listening to the rain while falling asleep. It's better than the almost absolute silence there is sometimes. On the weekends, just like this, do happen to be a lot of party people walking by, singing or screaming, completely wasted. It's comforting, as long as you are in the safe haven of your room.

--

Okay, I think that's it for today!

[secrets-of-ty]

More Fics below!

💙🟢 Autonomy and Worse Things by faedemon

"In a moment of stress, Danny develops a new power, one far too electrically reminiscent of his death. With it, he can play puppeteer: when he speaks, people will listen, and they'll have thought all along the idea was their own. It's a terrifying power—and when Danny fails to control it, his friendships are left shattered in its wake.

A narrative that explores this new ability, everything else it dredges up, and makes halting steps towards a ghostly coming-of-age."

Electric Core AU! I found this one on Tumblr due to some great art and was instantly engrossed in the story! It's got a great plot that explores Danny handling a manipulation power.

💙👻 The Case Study of Wes Weston by Karcutie

"His face wasn't that memorable. Even after seeing him just that morning, Danny could only conjure up his reddish brown hair and freckle-splattered cheeks, but not much else. At first, it didn’t matter much. Danny didn’t even bother to confirm his name. But after the curious streak dragged on and on, and spiraled into a full on investigation, he learned the name. And now he can’t seem to stop hearing it.

‘Wes Weston asked me for this’, ‘Wes Weston did that last week’, ‘I saw Wes Weston here’, ‘I heard he was there’, ‘Wes is so cool’, ‘I hate that guy’. Suddenly, he’s everywhere.

It seems like everyone except Danny knows Wes Weston.

And, it seems like Wes Weston knows…everything."

***This is my ONE exception for a fic not being completed! And by golly I WISH it was! I love Wes and this was one of those rare fics that was really starting to delve into him as a full character and his involvement with Danny. When I tell you I was crushed to see it hadn't been completed yet... but There's always hope, right? Fantastic character exploration in this!

💙🟢 Something's Wrong With Danny Fenton Vol. I by Ghostly_Cabbage

"Danny Fenton. The enigma of Casper High. It's the first day of the winter semester when she notices him. She notices him for what feels like the first time. Maybe because at this point he's the only alternative kid other than her. Or maybe because boom, there he is: the locker next to hers. -- A No One Knows AU where Danny transfers from a different school to Casper during Junior year and ends up befriending Sam and Tucker. Written for Invisobang 2021!"

No One Knows AU! I had to BINGE this one because it was so good! Reading the development of Sam, Tucker, and Danny's friendship with the added amount of strain from how creepy Danny is was *chef's kiss*. Great characterization in this and a lovely ending that made me immediately want to read it again! OH and I found this fic through some awesome fanart again!

💙🟢 Echoes by PhantomTwitch

"There was something wrong with Danny Fenton.

Nearly eighteen months after a lab accident left him hospitalized, his friends and family assumed he was still recovering from the side effects of his near-death experience. But after witnessing Danny do something ghostly, they begin to suspect something much more sinister is afoot and set out to save their friend from the clutches of the evil ghost possessing him."

No One Knows, Hazmat, Ghost King AU! Another one I recently binged. Again, great character exploration with Danny, Sam, and Tucker, especially with exploring how the Trio knew each other and then grew a part after Danny's accident. Also LOVED the characterization of Nocturne in this!! I haven't really seen him used in a mentor/morally gray light so it was fantastic getting to read something new for his character!

💙👻 Okay by TourettesDog

"Based on the prompts "Lancer is a good teacher and cares" and "Well, shit. He can't change back!""

Ya'll know she had to end the list with yet another Lancer fic. 😏 Seeing them stuck in an elevator with Lancer terrified and Danny nonchalant, to Danny having a breakdown and Lancer comforting him was a great read!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

And there you have it! A whoooole bunch of fics I've read during my time in the Phandom!

Feel free to check out a lot of the Tumblr-Fics I've reblogged with my fanfiction tag here. There's a lot of good ones in there too!

Feel free to add fics you guys have read to this post as well! I hope everyone that I included is alright with it, and let me know if anything needs to be changed/added in a reblog!

Danny Phantom Fanfic Masterlist

I've been meaning to do this for a bit! Since I've been in the Phandom for 10+ years I've picked up a lot of good fanfics over the years and I think it'd be great to share them again in case people have forgotten/haven't encountered them!

I mostly used Fanfiction.net in my older days so a lot of them will be linked there. I'm also pretty picky when it comes to fics being completed, so expect the ones listed to be bingeable with an ending! And finally, I'm not huge on romance/smut so most of them probably won't involve those genres, I'll point out ones that do. (These are in no particular order).

👻 Happy Reading! 👻

👻 = Regular Fic

🟢 = Alternate Universe Fic

⚔️ = Crossover Fic

💙 = Would Recommend!

💙💙 = One of my Favorites!

💙⚔️💙 Mirrored by Lynse

"As a general rule, diving into unknown swirly vortexes in the Ghost Zone is a bad idea, but this was a time when Danny had no other real choice. Meanwhile, Jake thought he was through dealing with ghosts, but Rotwood, well, he's just getting started."

I posted about this one a few years ago and the author, @ladylynse , said it's also available on AO3. This is by far one of my f a v o r i t e fanfics that I read annually or so! If you're a sucker for American Dragon too, definitely check this one out <3 The characterization of both Jake and Danny, plus watching their friendship grow, always gets me in the feels.

💙👻 Phantom's Sketchbook by AkoyaMizuno

"Mr. Lancer finds himself in an unparalleled situation, he has access to something which can give him incredible insight into the personal workings of Amity Park's local ghost teen hero, Danny Phantom."

It's been a while since I've read this one, but I remember it having a lovely characterization of Lancer plus his mentor relationship with Danny. (I loved this one a great amount back in the day that I, uh, made fanart and turned it in for a school assignment. Which is lost to the ages now 😅)

👻 Darkness by Cordria

"Maddie and Phantom are trapped in the dark. Can they come to an agreement to work together before they both die at the full moon? Part 1 of Illuminations Saga."

I don't quite remember this one but I DO remember Cordria had some absolute bangers. You'll probably see their name a few more times on this list.

💙👻💙 Masks by Cordria

"Sometimes, people hide who they truly are behind masks. This is a short story about the day that Lancer decides enough is enough when it comes to Daniel Fenton. Sequel is 'Plunge'"

When I said Cordria had bangers, THIS is one of them! Another fic that I read annually, this one involves Lancer getting closer and closer to Danny's secret while he's stuck in detention for the weekend. I love love LOVE the characterization of Danny and Lancer in this, another at the top of the favorite list!

👻 Plunge by Cordria (sequel to Masks ^)

"Sequel to 'Masks'. Now that Lancer has learned the truth and has let Danny out of his office, Danny needs to face the next hurdle: his parents."

For some reason, I always forgot to put this on my favorite list so I often missed out on reading it with my annual read of Masks. I remember it being a decent sequel where the Fentons pick up the pieces of Danny's reveal.

👻 Pits by Cordria

"Danny has been captured and thrown into the Pits by Walker to fight for his life. Listen in as he tells his dark, twisted tale of surviving despite the odds. Warning: dark and depressing. Sequel is 'Final Exam'."

Another one I don't fully remember, but it had to be a solid read since it's on my favorites haha! I have a vague sense that it was a little angst/gore-y(?) as the description warns, so just heads up!

👻 Lab Rat by AnneriaWings

"The look on my parents' faces – eager, curious, somewhat hateful – wasn't exactly hard to give away their intentions. I knew what they were going to do to me even before Mom snapped on a pair of rubbery, white latex gloves."

*** This one is definitely a vivisection fanfic with graphic descriptions, so beware that content. Again, haven't read it in a long time but it had satisfied my angst itch back in the day.

👻 Wondering by Phantomrose96

"A continuation to Cordria's starshot #69 "Wondering". Danny's been captured and tortured by his parents, but he refuses to say a word until his psychiatrist starts connecting the dots. Can he risk keeping it a secret any longer?"

*** Another angst, lab experiment-esque fic. There are definite graphic scenes (as warned in the first chapter). I do remember this fic being huge in the 2010s (definitely a staple of the Phandom). The relationships and Danny recovering from his torture were great highlights.

👻 Connections by Lynse

"Maddie knows that the Booo-merang has keyed into Danny, for whatever reason, so what's she to think when she sees it collide with Phantom?"

Don't quite remember this one, but Lynse is amazing at writing, so it's bound to be a good read.

👻 Confessions by Lynse (Sequel to Connections ^)

"Follows Connections. Danny's secret's not as safe as he thinks, what with Maddie unable to ignore her wild suspicions any longer and piecing things together and Jack asking questions all on his own."

Same as above!

💙👻 Earthquake by Turkeyhead987

"Danny leaves with his bathroom excuse and leaves Dash curious. He follows Danny and ends up the the gym room with him. While they're in there, an earthquake occurs and leaves them trapped inside. Will any secrets be revealed? No DashxDanny! They're just the main characters!"

This one is another one that I've read multiple times over the years! From what I remember, it was a fun read involving Dash and Danny being trapped in the gym after an earthquake, and explores how Danny handles his secret around Dash while they wait for rescue.

💙👻 A Jock and a Hard Place by AnneriaWings

"Danny and Dash were silent, trying to wrap their mind around that stupid, simple fact – the door was locked. They were trapped. In a janitor's closet. Together. (Collab with Haiju)"

No romance in this one! Another story where Danny and Dash get trapped together. I've read this one several times, and remember enjoying the tension of Danny's secret being revealed. I also think they explored Danny and Dash's relationship in a fun way!

👻 An Unlikely Alliance by Represent

"Maddie wants her family back. In an attempt to understand her Danny's change in behavior, she unwittingly enlists the GIW to exorcize Phantom from her son."

Gonna be real with ya'll, I don't remember this one at all. But uhhh I'm gonna throw it on here just because I can. :)

👻 Flip Turn by dreamsweetmydear

"Danny's life the last couple of years has been chaotic and pretty scary, to say the least. However, one detention with Mr. Lancer opens a window of opportunity that promises to turn his life around in more ways than one. Revelation fic. Post-"Kindred Spirits.""

Yet again, I don't remember this fic. Sorry! But it's under 8000 words, so it's a little bit of a shorter read than some of the ones on this list!

👻 Journey of Secrets by WolfKael

"First Danny Phantom fic! DXS, TXV, but not super-heavy. Lancer's class is on a trip to the Ghost Zone, courtesy of the Fentons! (Takes a couple chapters to gain momentum, and I promise it isn't your average 'field trip' fic!) T because I'm paranoid, but it could probably be K ."

Also not a fic I remember. It's got about 50,000 words so thought I'd throw it in for anyone that likes a longer fic!

👻 Vulnerable by HaiJu

"A desperate moment leads to a difficult choice, and Danny must deal with the consequences. A collaboration between Anneriawings and Haiju."

Don't remember it, but HaiJu had/has some great fics! Seems to involve Danny and Maddie after skimming the first chapter.

👻 Little Fires by Represent

"My family's supposed to be geniuses, yet they've never figured it out. Now I know why. Because they already know I'm Phantom. They must know. The better questions are: Have they known this whole time? What's in that vial? What happened to Skulker? And what's in the locked drawer?"

You know what, if I remember it, I'll say something 😂

👻 Judge, Jury, Executioner by Cordria

"The Observants and the Ghost Council are sick of the Fentons creating half-ghost creatures that disobey the rules of the universe. It's time for them to step in before more are made. Can Danny save his parents and keep his secret intact? A three-part fic."

💙👻 A Phantom Marooned by LordPugsy

"No one but Danny was suspicious when his English class was awarded an all-expenses paid cruise trip by an anonymous benefactor. Everyone but Danny thought it was bad luck when they became ship-wrecked on an island in the middle of nowhere. No one but Danny fully understood the dangers lurking in the trees. No one but Danny knew how much danger they were all in so far from home."

This one involves Danny and his class getting out of Amity Park, so it's a little more oc-filled and explores a nontraditional setting for the trio. There might be a little SamxDanny in this one if I remember correctly, but overall I do remember having fun reading through this!

🟢 Candlelight by HappyLeif

"Sam's only friend is the ever-loyal Tucker, ever since Danny began slowly distancing himself from them after some accident freshman year. She wanted a friend, but she never thought she'd find the one she was looking for in the highly debated ghostly hero of Amity Park.

AU = Danny alone during the portal accident. Looks like there's some SamxDanny in this one! Don't remember it but heck I might have to reread it since the synopsis has me interested.

👻 Crashing and Burning by GriffinRose

"For two years, Maddie has put up with Danny's ridiculous lies and excuses. She's tried everything to get through to him, but the pattern just goes on. She's so tired of fighting him on this all the time. And so, after two years, she's done. She doesn't care what her son does anymore, because Danny doesn't seem to care that he's her son."

👻 I'll Be Here by HaiJu

"Some days you can't pick yourself up. Having family means you don't have to. Danny-centric, three oneshots. Completely shameless hurt/comfort. Bring tissues… and antiseptic."

👻 What Little Girls Are Made Of by HaiJu

"Phantom and his younger double save Amity Park from a monstrous ghost, nearly destroying themselves in the process. The Fentons have always hunted ghosts; now it's time to save one."

💙👻💙 You Should Be Dead by SaphireDragon11

"Dash and Kwan are horrified to discover they've accidentally killed their classmate, but perhaps even more so when he shows up at school the next day. With his secret on the line, Danny soon discovers Dash and Kwan are the least of his worries."

THIS story is definitely a favorite and fun read! The ending battle chapters always gets me excited to reread! ***Danny does get straight up shot by Dash at the beginning so be warned for that content. But I remember a post going around a year or so ago where someone had drabbled about Danny getting up after being shot by Dash. This story explores that concept with a longer plot!

💙👻💙 Roughing It by HaiJu

"Lost deep in the woods with an undead pack on their heels, Maddie and Phantom find themselves entangled in an awkward alliance. Can they cooperate long enough to get out of this mess?"

Another favorite! This one explores Maddie and Danny's relationship, kind of similar to how the show did in the Maternal Instincts episode. I adore how HaiJu explores Maddie's thought-process with dealing with Phantom in a situation where she kind of needs him and he won't leave her alone. Great mother-son fic!

👻 Phantom of Truth by Haiju

"Locked away in a secret government lab with Phantom as her subject, nothing stands between Maddie and the truth... except, perhaps, herself."

Haven't read this one in a loooooong time, but I remember being around for HaiJu updating this fic, posting about it on Tumblr, and the Phandom being generally hyped for it. Another staple for the Phandom! It's another torture fic, so heads up regarding that content!

💙👻 Shadow of a Doubt by Haiju (Sequel to Phantom of Truth ^)

"The truth was supposed to save Danny. Fix things. The lab, the experiments, the lies, those were all in the past. Weren't they? Sequel to Phantom of Truth."

And then BAM on top of finishing Phantom of Truth, HaiJu hit us all with a completed sequel! I was super excited whenever this fic got updated, felt like I was waiting for a new episode to air on TV every time! There's some OCs in this since it explores Danny running away from Amity, but I remember genuinely loving the OCs and loved reading about Danny mentally recovering from being experiment on.

👻 Just a Boy by Tay1019411

"Maddie and Jack finally have Phantom right where they always wanted him: in there lab, helpless, but everything is different now. Now, Maddie faces the truth about what Phantom really is."

🟢 Make It Go Away by DarkNymfa

"Not for the first time, Danny cursed himself for never telling anyone about his extra-curricular activities. And now, far more injured than he could fix himself, Danny desperately wished that he had told just one person."

No one knows AU

👻 Flicker by DarkNymfa

"It had taken just one moment, one split-second in which she had seen Phantom instead of Danny. Now she found herself on a path she didn't want to be on. One she couldn't leave, not anymore."

👻 The Scientific Method by ReconstructWriter

""After two years of failures you'd have better luck asking Phantom to be your lab-rat," Jazz said. The Fentons decide to try just that."

👻 Phantom Hitchhiker by ghostanimal

"Phic Phight Oneshot: While students get to leave early after a ghost attack, teachers have to stick around for boring meetings to discuss the attack. The ghost attack was now over, but it didn't mean all the ghosts were gone. Lancer finds himself driving a certain Phantom home while reflecting on how young the poor kid is."

👻 Returning After the Reveal by Illusn

"Phic Phight attack, using a prompt by Love-ly-ish. Danny returns to school after his secret was revealed in a ghost attack, having to deal with people suddenly treating him differently."

👻 Vantage Point by Lynse

"Phantom was young. Painfully young. Somehow, Lancer had never really noticed that before. One-shot, written for the 2019 Phic Phight."

👻 Oddities by Lynse

"Jack can't deny that their ghost hunting equipment malfunctions around Danny-consistently and exclusively around Danny-and decides to get to the bottom of it, once and for all. One-shot, written for the 2019 Phic Phight."

👻 To Be a Hero by cosette141

"Danny has always known the consequences should he be captured by the Guys In White, but now Tucker is going to learn firsthand just what the stakes are for his superhero friend and what it really means to be a hero. (not slash) hurt/comfort"

👻 Family Reunion by Dp-Marvel94

"For Phango. Prompts used- Setting: Family Reunion, Wes Weston, Aunt Alicia, Stuck in the thermos. And Identity Reveal…kinda (does it count if Wes had already worked out that Fenton was Phantom but hadn't seen him actually transform so wasn't completely sure?)"

Wes Fic!

👻 Stuck by SummersSixEcho

"[OneShot] After a prank from two of his ghostly acquaintances, Danny is stuck in ghost mode during one of the most important events of his young half-life. If only he didn't have to give a speech on top of it... [Phic Phight 2020 entry; prompt by Ghostanimal]"

👻 One-Eighty by SummersSixEcho

"[One Shot] After a grueling battle, two teenagers at a diner try to sort out a night of revelations. [DannyMay 2020, Day 28: Diner]"

👻 Threads of Time by ZombieRed

""I just want to know what's going on with you, Danny! I wish I could just, I don't know, spend the day figuring out what you've been hiding from me. Then maybe I could help you. But you being closed off from everyone is only hurting you. Can't you see that?" Or Maddie keeps on waking up to Thursday morning [No PP, pretty much ignores season 3 as a whole]"

👻 Invisible Stitches by Lynse

"Family bonding time might be less dangerous now that his parents know his secret, but that doesn't mean Danny is wild about being kept in the dark when it comes to his dad's plans for the weekend. One-shot."

Loved the concept of Danny having trouble being away from Amity Park!

👻 Whenever You're Ready by SummersSixEcho

"[OneShot] Jack and Maddie try to show their son they are very supportive of Phantom once they find out his secret. They want him to tell them on his terms, but everything ends up in bigger misunderstandings and more revelations they weren't prepared for. [Belated Phic Phight entry for Star G, Arioz, Bird, Dekalkomania, and Wife]"

Written in a Journal-Entry style! Interesting format if I remember correctly.

👻 An Attempt at Camping by Seasilver17

"They should have known that even when they were in the middle of nowhere camping. Something would have to go wrong. Curse his Fenton luck"

👻 Secrets Secrets and Advice (This Teacher's Vice) by AppleScentedLazers

"After a particularly grueling day Mr. Lancer just wants to go home, kick up his feet, and read some Shakespeare. But, when he runs into two of his students looking for their missing best friend, Lancer ends up with more questions than he has answers for. Such as, who is Phantom? And just what is Daniel Fenton hiding?"

👻🟢 Going Ghost by cosette141

"My take on the moment Danny turns on the ghost portal and becomes half-ghost… as well as an alternate way for Sam and Tucker to find out. Friendship Oneshot"

👻 Lair by Lexosaurus

"When something goes wrong with a piece of Vladco tech, Valerie ends up stuck in the Ghost Zone. With Phantom."

💙👻 In Case of Emergency by Unlucky Alis

"Lancer is grading papers when he gets the call. "I'm calling from Amity West. I have an underage patient here who has named you as their emergency contact." Lancer rushes over, of course, fretting all the while about what accident Danny Fenton has gotten himself into now, because it could only be him. Except, when he arrives, it's not the Danny he expected to find."

I remember enjoying the little twist on Lancer being the emergency contact for Phantom yet having no idea. Lancer handles it pretty well all things considered. (I think you guys can tell I just like Lancer fics at this point HA)

👻 Furthest from Myself by WastefulReverie

"An accident during a ghost invasion leaves nearly a hundred citizens with inexplicable ghost powers. Little did they know, this was only the catalyst for a series of revelations."

👻 Ghost Smarts! by Dekalkomania

"When it becomes clear the ghosts are here to stay, the Amity Park school district decides they need to teach proper safety precautions. In dire need of extra credit, Danny takes Mr. Lancer's offer to be the assistant in an assembly titled, "Ghost Smarts!"

Very unprepared for what he signed up for, Danny must deal with the eccentric detective J.J. Bittenbinder, all while not blowing his cover."

[sepublic]

I’m seeing everyone shocked to see that Creepy Luz was really just some kid who wanted a family, and ends up being befriended by Luz and adopted as her new sister...

But I can confirm that I’ve speculated and headcanoned about this (at the time unpopular) concept since Enchanting Grom Fright first established a doppelgänger! It’s everything I always wanted, because I feel like it’d just fit with the show’s subversions and exploration of things...

With Eda as the ‘outlaw witch’ being a protagonist, having the doppelgänger be humanized and given sympathy over their lot in life? It just felt RIGHT to this show and its found family themes... And it just felt like something that’d fit the characters of Luz and Camila, to befriend and empathize with this kid! And the ending of Keeping Up A-Fear-ances scared everyone, but I actually found it comforting because it made my hopes so much more plausible?

Of course, a lot of people suggested Creepy Luz as malicious, so it was easy to get caught up in that (especially with the great fanart), remind myself to slow down and not get my hopes up, just go with what everyone else says because that’s easier for me...

So having all of this play out, despite what I was initially resigned to being an incredibly low chance... But STILL having hope that the show would go this route that I thought was way more heartwarming, and compelling???

Having ‘Creepy Luz’ actually just be a shy, awkward dork who actually LIKES the stuff she learned in Luz’s place, and appreciates it??? She just wants the bare minimum and she’s so WOWed by these simple pleasures and in awe and wondering why Luz would leave??? LUZ GETTING A TWIN SISTER???

The cathartic validation, the VINDICATION and sweet victory...! I’m so happy and pleased y’all, it’s like a dream come true!

(It just means a lot to me, okay?)

[pr1ncessm00n]

Okay, so I was thinking if that's a good idea to send you this ( bc I'm anxious af and didn't know if you're gonna like it) but I kinda made a fanart for your fic😅😅 Bc it really helped me to go through tough time in my life. And I kinda wanted to base that on your description of yourself and the character ( I've made it before you reveald how you look like so it doesn't resemble you as much as I wanted but I also didn't want to ask you how you look like bc it would be creepy and ruin the surprise) so anyway I hope you like it, if not then I'm sorry😅

first of all this was an excellent idea THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS NEVER BE AFRAID TO SEND ME UR ART PLEASE!!!!

secondly I LOVE IT THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! the smile on my face is so goofy and huge right now im honestly so honored you drew me and my fic. i appreciate it this so so much you have no idea. im so sorry for the late response ive been going through some stuff lately and my inbox is full but i just had to say i LOVE IT!!! the details like the shoes the soccer ball?? bf + di??? porco’s cute uniform?? im so shook i cant believe youd draw this for me and its so beautiful 🥹🥹😭😭🫶🏼 i love it and fun fact i actually am growing my hair out so i love how u drew the hair!!!

i hope youre doing good as well and im so honored once again, this honestly made my day 🤍🤍 if you don’t mind i want to make this my lockscreen <33

[darkdevasofdestruction]

I was thinking that pt3 jotaro, rohan, and narancia headcanons with their s/o who's an idol. There's also one scenario I would like where s/o is waiting for whoever it is and some creepy fan goes up to them and ya know, invades their privacy, how would they react? Sorry if that's too much 🥺

Ohhhh niceeee! Let’s see how this goes ~!

~~~~

KUJO JOTARO

Even if the music you do isn’t his cup of tea, he still supports you very much, in his own way

He buys all your CDs and cassettes, every bit of merch, even if it’s figurines, Tshirts, stickers, pins

And will, without a doubt, act as your personal bodyguard

He’s genuinely shocked if anyone actually has the guts to get anywhere near you when he’s around ( unless it’s a meet & greet, a signing or something )

So you can imagine the face he made when he was escorting you out of a venue after a concert, while you were still glowing and wearing your cutesy and flashy idol outfit, and this...This...Guy...Waltzes up to you

With a stupidly lecherous grin on his stupid face 

And asks for an autograph on his merch Tshirt

You smiled politely, as per your Idol persona facade that you had to put up to keep up your positive image, and having to sign Tshirts was nothing out of the ordinary for you, so you didn’t mind it

But as soon as you stepped closer to him, he sneaked his arm around your waist and pulled you into his arms

And he started slurring a shit ton of perverted ‘love’ confessions

But boy of boy, he had no idea that your bodyguard was also your boyfriend

He’s literally dead

Jotaro will snatch his wrist from you, snap it broken and push him away

Then he picks you up bridal style, walking away, while he lets Star Platinum to Ora the shit out of this idiot

He would have liked to stay and watch, but he didn’t want you to witness such violence, even if you’re a Stand user and had to fight before

That night, he will be a bit quieter than usual for most of the time, until he gets to hold you to sleep

And when he thinks you’re finally asleep ( even if you aren’t ) he will mutter a very sweet ‘I love you’

-----

KISHIBE ROHAN

He’s a artist, okay??

Rohan = Art = Aesthetics

He will design all your clothes, one outfit for each song, all your special effects, all your stage backgrounds

Will also help you with songs if you ask him to, or will give you ideas if he sees you’re in an artistic blockage

Will propose to travel with you as your manager, but also, will plan trips in various places he deems beautiful, hoping you’ll feel inspired

Also, a ton of photoshoots

You’re a Goddess, alright??

Divine

And he will make sure EVERYONE sees that

Not to mention, he does all your album art and posters - He would get genuinely offended if he wasn’t the one to do them, actually

And a LOT of fanart

But he also does fanart with the two of you together, or with your Stands, either as they are, or dressed in the two of you’s artsy clothes

He actually takes great pride when people buy your merch, because it’s designed by him, so while they appreciate you, he’s also feeling appreciated from the shadows

It’s not the fame, but the art loving that matters to him!

However, one day when you and your girl group idol friends were at a long table, signing things for your fans, while he stood in the chair next to you, scribbling around in his notebook and occasionally gossiping with you

Some guy leaned over the table

Dangerously low

And close to your face

And just...Grinned

It was super creepy, and despite the perfect facade you always pulled, you could only lean further back on your chair and give an awkward half-smile, greeting him and very uncomfortably writing on the disk he bought

But he then asked for a kiss, and that was the last drop for Rohan

Before you knew it, the little white man that his Stand was punched this creep and wrote “Will always shout his most embarrassing secrets out loud”

And that happened

And it was so bad that the guy started sobbing and ran out of there

It took all self-control both you and Rohan had not to laugh hysterically

But by the time you finished the signing session, he took you to a nice cafe outside and you could finally freely gossip and mock all the idiots that cross your path

ESPECIALLY that guy

-----

GHIRGA NARANCIA

He’s literally your biggest and most vocal fan!!!

Will fanboy about you ALL the time, so much that he kinda annoys the Bucci gang

But they’re also happy for him ‘cause he got to meet the love of his life and he is so excitable and happy with you

So they will also support both you and him

Will be there, in the front row, with huge signs that say “Y/N WE LOVE YOU”

Will constantly yell ALL the lyrics to ALL your songs, and when you’re talking to the crowd, he’ll whistle and cheer so loud

It makes you grin so much and he loves it

Also, instead of the hip hop things he used to listen when on going on missions with the gang, he will listen, hum or sing your songs

So much that every member has at least one favourite line of your songs and will unfortunately have a song stuck in their head

After the concert, you had a meet & greet backstage with a few fans, but of course, Narancia was there and ran to hug you and spin you around, congratulating you on another perfect concert while kissing you all over your face

Apparently, despite the fact that you were open about your relationship with the boy since the beginning of your career, some of your fans weren’t aware of it  - Or maybe they didn’t want to acknowledge its existence

So as soon as Narancia let go of you, so you could catch your breath, you got picked up by someone else, which made you squeak in shock and surprise

This action left everyone speechless - Literally jaw dropped

And Narancia got so pissed off at this fan’s rudeness that he started throwing hands with him

Well, not literally, he respected you too much for that

But he literally picked the boy up by the scruff of his blouse and threw him away from you, threatening him to never get anywhere close to you ever again

If you don’t respect Y/N’s personal space, you don’t respect her music either, so you don’t deserve to be anywhere near her!

So he got security to throw him away from here

All while he commanded Aerosmith to chase him down and shoot the hell outta him, while he held you in his arms and comforted you

Not to mention, he’ll get info on him with the help of Buccellati’s gang and will make his life a living hell

All while giving you only sunshine, rainbows and unicorns, because you deserve all the best and nobody will EVER bother you again <3

[sideblogformindtrash]

CW: Dehumanization; pet/slave whump; it as a pronoun; implied shock/taser; creepy-whumper; unreliable narrator; it’s… a bit of fluff.

“Hello everyone!” Master’s says, after starting the camera. It is sitting nervously by Master’s side, holding it knees, on one rare occasion it has been allowed on furniture.

When Master left the room it had started swinging around the office chair, until Master gave it a dirty look, telling it to be good for the video, so it sat well behaved, keeping its eyes down.

“So, first, I want to apologize for how long it has taken me to get to this video”

It’s a bit weird to see Master apologizing, but that is okay. People apologize to other people because other people have important feelings. Pets don’t.

“I know you guys have been asking this for a long time now, but I had other projects on the way that needed to be addressed. But well, finally we are here. Me and blue will be checking what you guys have been sending in the mail!”

With that, Master got the scissors. It flinched slightly, heart skipping a beat. It hoped Master hadn’t noticed…

“Oh these are not for you today, Blue” Master ruffled its hair. Not… not mad? It sighed, relieved “…But this is the sign of a well trained pet, isn’t it guys? One that knows very well of its punishments”

Master smiled amused, a warning on their eyes that made the pet shiver. Master reached for the first package.

“So this is from…”

Master started cutting open the boxes and getting the stuff. They had been sent some candy, fanart, shirts, figures and other curious things. Occasionally, Master would handle it the object and ask what its opinion was. It always tried to find something nice to say, even if it was all meaningless.

Some of the gifts were things Master could give to it too. It got a collar and a new water bow! Master told it to wear the collar, and after checking it was okay, Blue hesitantly took the old one out and put it on.

“Oh, you look cute Blue. Thank the nice lady who sent you the gift”

“T—thank y-y-uo Mi-mistress” it said, as loud and clear as it could “I-it-it’s really nice…”

Master was already fumbling with the next package. A smiled formed on his lips as he picked up the note.

“Hello, just wanted to say I love your videos, they always brighten up my day. I’ve packed in something I hope you can use in one of them in the future. Love, xxxx”

Master removed a bunch of bubble wrap and handed it to Blue. It liked the bubble wrap. It popped the plastic between its fingers enjoying the nice sound while Master fumbled with the object.

“…Oh this is really nice. I’ve always wanted a taser like this!” Master showed it the object “Isn’t it nice Blue?”

“I-i-it is M-m-master…” it stared nervously. It had a vague memory of what a taser was, but nothing quite defined. Something about streets and people and guards? Regardless if it was something for the videos…

“Don’t worry we will definitively be using it at some point!”

Master chuckled watching the pet nervously twist the bubble wrap.

“Well, this next gift is for you Blue!” Master picked up the note “…Blue reminds me a lot of a pet I used to have. This was one of its toys. I think it would be nice if Blue could keep it, I’m sure it will like.”

This was quite unusual for a note. Master peeked inside the package… than passed it to him, without unwrapping. It stared at Master.

“It’s okay, open it. It’s yours”

“…It…It’s Blues?” It answered and cautiously opened the package. Its eyes started to shine, as it got out the fluffy plush from out of the wraps “I-i-i-is it really Blue’s? Can Blue keep it?”

“Of course” Master nodded, and Blue gave them the brightest smile “The viewer sent you this so it would be rude not to let you keep.”

Remembering the camera, Blue turned, hugging its bunny plush.

“T-thank you! Thank you so so so much! Blue is really really grateful!” it bowed its head a little, it was pretty sure this had brought tears of joy to its eyes. A gift! For blue! An actual gift! It nuzzled the plush, feeling its fur close to its face. It smelled of laundry softener “Ah… thank you!”

“…That’s a very good reaction. It will look really good on the video” Master was smiling. They scratched behind Blue’s ear, as it closed its eye, holding the plush tight. The most precious thing they had. The only thing they had. “Alright put it down now so we can finish the recording”

It lifted its head, pleading eyes, clutching the plush while whimpering. Did… Did it really have to let it go? Would it be taken away if it did?

“…Behave Blue. You can keep the plush, I already told you. But I can still change my mind” Master said. The threat was enough for it to gasp and shiver, and hesitantly, it handed Master the bunny. Master scratched its ear some more “…Good pet. Now look a little more cheerful. You can have it back once we finish here okay?”

“O-okay” it nodded, putting on its trained smiled.

Master turned back to the camera, they waited a second to facilitate the editing job and…

“So, this was it for today’s video! Again, I want to thank you all so much, not only for all these wonderful gifts, but for all the love and support you guys have been showing to this channel since the start. Isn’t that right Blue?”

“Y—yy-yes Ma-Master. Th-thank you so much g-g-uys. P-please l—leave a like a-a-and subscribe a-a-nd comment if –if you’d like!” It couldn’t avoid glancing back at the plush bunny, just out of reach. Master was smart and put it to their side, so it just looked like they were looking to their Master for approval like a good pet should.

“That’s right. Don’t forget to check next Monday’s, I’ll be publishing another training tips video. And keep an eye out for streams! With that said, that’s it guys, thank you so much for watching”

Master got up and turned off the camera.

It felt its muscles relaxing a bit, as if a lot of weight had been lifted from its shoulders. Being good in the camera was the most important thing and that was a lot of pressure.

Master held the bunny. Its eyes glimmered, it wanted to reach for it, but it couldn’t. It knew it was being tested. It had to wait for Master to allow it. It knew its rules.

Master stared at the plush, turning it around on their hands.

“…Interesting that you’d like something so childish” They sound very unimpressed “… I guess it does fit you. But Blue-”

Master approach, eyes glued to the shivering pet.

“…This is a big thing. A very big reward. You shouldn’t own anything and I’m only allowing it for the audience. But you better be really well behaved from now on. Don’t go getting any ideas on your silly little head, understood?”

It tried to look into Master’s eyes. It was so scary… It nodded, hoping Master could see how much it meant it. It would be good. It always tried to be good. And now it had even more reasons to be! It would show Master that this was a good idea, that it helped it be better.

Master finally let it have it again. He clutched it tight feeling its heart warming up a bit.

brain gobrrr and i forgot the tag: @whumpzone @whumpropaganda @freefallingup13

[tato-acm]

  quinta - feira    29. 10. 2020  -  spooktober #2

a court of silver flames: Koschei

1. Dangerous new alliance: like I said in a previous post, I think Koschei is the ally mentioned in the synopsis

“the treacherous human queens who returned to the Continent during the last war have forged a dangerous new alliance,” 

specially with that scene in the prison when The Bone Carver introduces Koschei – and also with Vassa’s plot at the end of acowar.

I’m really curious about how their father was able to bargain with Koschei – and I think that’s something Nesta might find out. 

 2.    Death: I love how both Koschei and Nesta are related to death, and I can’t wait for them to interact.

Koschei: death god (like his siblings); older brother of the twins Stryga and the Bone Carver; confined in a lake where he keeps Vassa (and other women??) his prisoner.

Nesta: “I think the power is death - death made flesh.” - Feyre, acowar (this quote gave me chills the first time I read it).  

DON’T KILL ME OKAY: I LOVE nessian, am obsessed with them, they are endgame and all… BUT ✨

If they are mates – and I think they are because of:

a)    That scene in wings and embers when Cassian felt something (even when she was still human); 

b)    The war scene when Nesta saved Cassian because she felt something and warned him / called his name – but that could be her death related powers;  

c)    “Would you be frightened of her, if Nesta was – Death? Or if her power came from it? “I’m a warrior. I’ve walked beside Death my whole life. Iwould be more afraid for her, to have that power. But not afraid of her.”;  

d)    The whole “she’s an Illyrian” (don’t get me started on that LOL) 🙄

I actually rolled my eyes every time they mentioned it – it just seems a bit much, we get it they need common stuff to be mates 😂;�� 

Maybe, JUST MAYBE … It would make more sense for her to be mates with a Death God 💀 👀

since she’s already a ✨goddess✨ in my eyes 😌🙌

From what we have so far – which is not much at all 😂 – it makes me think that would be an interesting idea.  I just had to get this out of my chest 🤡👍

I’ll just leave this here and run away   🏃‍♀️

I’m torn between wanting Koschei to mentor Nesta (kind of like what Amren did in acowar) and help her kill the queens x Nesta to go head to head against him - I like both plots

and I think he might make a bargain with her to get his freedom:

- Nesta stole from the Cauldron, so she might have the powers to free Koschei - maybe even send him back to his realm  👀  so everyone is happy: Vassa will be free, Nesta can demand his help to betray the queens (and kill them, of couse 😏)

Again, just a thought. I adore nessian, love the slow burn, they are in my mind 24/7 and I do want them to end up together. ❤️❤️❤️

3.    The Deathless – appearance: If Sarah takes from the  “archetypal male antagonist in Russian folklore”  Koschei The Deathless’ appearance description + fanart on her board that I think is about Koschei, I think he looks like Stryga 

-       Tall, long black hair, really pale, black eyes, really skinny / gaunt

In the Folklore tales,  he’s also really old (almost a walking corpse in some, which is really cool since its almost impossible to kill him - “the Deathless”) 

- but I hope that part she leaves out, because I already pictured him hot and I don’t think a corpse would do it for me 🥴🤢

(but it would be pretty cool and creepy if he looked like a corpse 😱😳 And his voice could be Corpse Husband’s 👀 please)

I really like the model I used as face claim for this edit, it’s how I first pictured him while I was reading acowar: 

his eyebrows ✨ , his bone structure, how he is lean (not too muscular) – just add the long black hair and it’s perfect. I saved his picture on pinterest right after I read that prison scene with the Bone Carver and did some research on “Koschei The Deathless”.

acm. (future Ana, please don’t delete this - even if some of your theories make you cringe 😌 love, 2020 Ana - P.S.: vai estudar)

Koschei & Nesta  videoedit  1 on my ig  --> tato.edits Koschei & Nesta  videoedit 2 on my ig --> tato.edits

[maxdark158]

WAZZUP?! THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER OF ANGEL IN GOTHAM! Demon in Gotham has another four chapters but THIS IS THE LAST ONE OF THIS FIC!

EVERYBODY PANIC

Wait no don’t actually pls... I’m sorry

Thank you wonderful @ozmav for creating the au that inspired me to write this. I apologize in advance to you.

LETS G-GO GO GO

Angel in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Ao3

Demon in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Ao3

FANART! I GOT FANART GUYS!! Riddler ~ Joker thank you @thegreysman !!! If ANY of you draw ANY fanart PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tag me!!!!!

oooOOOooo

The Unnamed Teenager That Defeated The Riddler Cripples Joker!

Just days after beating The Riddler at his own game, the same teenage girl holds off The Joker until Batman arrives!

“We had to amputate him below the knee,” Arkham doctor says. “There was too much glass in the wound, it cut several muscles, tendons, and arteries. The shattered bone didn’t help.”

French Teenager Unavailable for Comment.

[Read More]

oooOOOooo

Their trip to Gotham was ending early, all because of her.

Marinette woke up in the hospital. Professor Mendeleiev was there. She apparently fainted due to asphyxiation. She had a cut on her hand, and rugburn on her feet, and had been out for nine hours. The doctor told her it was a miracle she wasn’t more heavily injured after encountering the Joker. Professor Mendeleiev glared at them until they stopped talking about it.

She was discharged soon after. On the way to the hotel, Professor Mendeleiev told her what happened while she was out. The rest of the trip was canceled because of two students being attacked by the Joker, though Marinette’s confrontation with the Riddler hadn’t helped the case. They would be going home that evening. They’re leaving for the flight in two hours – 3:30pm.

“Bruce Wayne graciously paid for our flight back,” Professor Mendeleiev said. Marinette would have felt sick hearing it if she wasn’t so numb from everything.

Her parents had been informed about what happened. She should probably call them soon.

“Your friends tried to visit you in the hospital,” Professor Mendeleiev finished as they pulled up to, the now heavily guarded, hotel. “Unfortunately, only your guardian for the trip was allowed visitation, which is me.”

Her mind instantly went to Damian but- “Friends?”

An almost sad look appeared Professor Mendeleiev’s face, but it was gone so quick Marinette believed it to be imagined. “Yes. The Wayne boy and some classmates. Kim and Alix.”

Her heart lurched to her throat. Kim? Alix? She didn’t think anyone else cared anymore but…

She and Kim had distanced over the years, but when they were younger he was like her brother. She and Alix hadn’t talked much. She didn’t think either of them cared anymore.

She got out of the car. Professor Mendeleiev had brought Marinette some of her other clothes so she wasn’t wearing the bloody crop top and pajama pants. Her t-shirt and jeans were plain enough that she might be able to slide past the others she could see in the lobby.

Marinette hoped.

She walked in, Professor Mendeleiev behind her.

“Marinette!” A huge body slammed into her. Its arms wrapped around her and soon she was spinning.

“Careful, idiot,” she heard Alix say. “Don’t break her!”

The arms set her down and – oh it’s Kim. His eyes were red and puffy. A glance showed that Alix’s eyes were too. Why were they like that?

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said genuinely.

“Me too,” Alix playfully punched her shoulder. “You beat the Joker! You’re bada-”

���Get away from her,” Another voice cut in, sharp. Marinette glanced up to see Alya keeping her distance from them, standing in front of Lila. From what she could see of the Italian, her hair was now in a single much shorter ponytail – or bun? Maybe it was a braid.

Alix crossed her arms in front of her chest. “What if I don’t want to?”

“You heard what Lila said,” Alya’s voice was angry. Marinette was numb to it. “She-”

“Alya,” Professor Mendeleiev chose that moment to step in. “I don’t care what Lila has been telling you, but stop yelling at her and her friends.”

Marinette jolted at the word. Friends.

“She needs to go to her room and pack for the flight back to Paris tonight anyway. Allow her to leave.”

Her class, most of them surrounding Lila, stared in stunned silence.

After a moment, Marinette went to the Elevator. She was given a new room key during the drive to the hotel.

She felt like the hallway security police were staring at her as she walked to her room.

They thought she was a freak. Everyone did.

When Marinette entered her room, she was immediately hit in the face.

“Marinette!” Tikki whispered, knowing there were others outside her door. “I’m so sorry, I should have gone with you I-”

“It’s okay Tikki,” Marinette was still numb, but it was better than dissociating. It was better than crying.

“No,” Tikki’s eyes were filled with shining tears. “It’s not.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but she couldn’t.

Because it wasn’t alright.

Instead of answering, she focused on her room again. She still remembered everything from the other night, but this would be her last time seeing it.

The sheets are scratchy, she remembered. The fabric was still clearly cheap.

The bed was stiff. She knew it was hard sleeping on it, but it was hard sleeping anyway for her.

Her entire hotel room was bland. A mess of off-white and white. It was bright, and it needed more color. More design to it.

She could see the creepy painting of two children in a bucket on the wall from the door. It was black and white except for the blue color of their shirts. Their eyes were still wide, but they seemed to stare at her now. Maybe they thought she was a freak too.

The familiar surroundings made it easy to spot the not-so-familiar changes she made. Her sketchbook was brightly colored, closed on her desk. Her dirty clothes were on the floor in the corner. The entire room was a mess of cut fabric and cardboard from the previous hours she spent designing and making-

The Thing.

She’d taken to calling it The Thing. She felt that if she acknowledged what it was, even in her own mind, she would break. She would break and someone would have to pick up the shattered pieces.

She cleaned up the mess. The few scraps of fabric left weren’t enough to make a design out of so she threw them away.

Marinette repacked her suitcase and backpack, making sure to account for absolutely everything. She checked once, twice. Tikki checked. Then she checked again. The only things she hadn’t packed were her phone and her sketchbook, both of which currently laid on her bed.

She still had an hour before they left to go to the airport.

The Thing was still hanging in her hotel room’s closet. It was small and cramped with only two hangers, a small shelf, and no door. She had shoved The Thing to the very back so she couldn’t see it unless she stood directly in front of the closet.

She went there now. She was staring at it.

She didn’t break, but she could feel cracks. Chips and pieces of herself fell to the ground.

Marinette’s hands shook as she took it from the closet.

She glanced at her sketchbook.

oooOOOooo

“Hi Maman, Papa,” Marinette greeted her parents.

After she finished with her little project, Tikki convinced her to call her parents. Though, she didn’t need that much convincing. It was a long flight, and she wouldn’t be able to call or message them while on it.

She still had fifty minutes left until she needed to go to the lobby.

“Marinette!” Her papa’s eyes were red and puffy too. Maman was still crying. “My little girl! Are you alright?”

“I’m okay,” her voice sounded wobbly and wrong. “I wasn’t even heavily injured.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Maman’s eyes had a fire in them. Marinette wished she still had hers. “I’m just glad you’re coming home soon.”

“We’re going to wrap you in bubble wrap,” her Papa’s voice was also wobbly. “So this can’t ever happen to our baby girl again.”

Marinette tried to imagine that, for a moment. Ladybug fighting akuma while wearing bubble wrap armor.

“I’m okay,” she said. “I know it was scary-”

“Understatement of the year!” her Maman grumbled.

“But I lived!”

“Yes, you did,” Her Papa’s voice was still wobbly, but proud too. Marinette felt her heart lurch to her throat again.

She hated it when people were worried about her.

“You not only lived,” her mother wiped her eyes, “But Marinette, they had to cut off one of his legs-”

What?

“He’ll be down for the count until he can properly use his prosthetic!”

She what?

“You may have saved more people, doing that-”

She… she did that…

She permanently and irreversibly damaged someone beyond repair.

“They even did a news article about it! My baby girl, making Gotham’s news!”

The entirety of Gotham knew she hurt the Joker. Hurt him so bad he didn’t have all of his body left.

“She’s anonymous in it though, Tom.”

No wonder the security guards were staring at her.

“Even better! We know who she is but others don’t! I’m even more proud.”

She wasn’t just a freak.

“You would be, darling.”

She was a monster.

“Marinette?” Tikki whispered.

“Honey?”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” she tried to sound normal. Look normal. Hide her claws and flaws.

She’s a monster.

“I’ve got to finish getting ready,” she lied. It was heavy on her tongue but she didn’t care. Guilt was heavy, too heavy, but she didn’t care anymore.

“Thank you for calling us!”

“Try not to look for anymore villains!”

“I won’t,” That, she could answer honestly. “Goodbye, Maman, Papa.”

“I swear you’re her favori-” her father’s grumblings were cut off as Marinette hung up the call.

“Marinette?” Tikki tried again.

Marinette stared at her hands. She couldn’t see the blood, it wasn’t there anymore, but she could still picture it there. Blood that she caused.

She was a horrible person. Her actions were inexcusable. Monstrous.

Guilt was crushing her. It weighed on her shoulders and tongue, pushing her down and down. She waited for it to squish her like a bug. She hoped it would squish her like the bug she is.

Someone knocked on her door.

Marinette was numb. Like a zombie, she got up to open it. She already knew who it was.

Damian’s hair was messy. He wore a gray hoodie. She suspected he had the hood up until recently to try and conceal his identity as Damian Wayne.

She remembered how as Robin, when she punched The Riddler, he had been messy then too. Now she knew why – he had rushed to change into costume to help.

The memory hit her hard. She could see both of them standing there – Damian and Robin.

She looked at him. She didn’t break. It was a close thing.

His eyes weren’t red or puffy. His hands were stuffed in his pockets.

He looked normal.

Marinette wondered how much makeup he wore to hide his lack of sleep from being a superhero. She didn’t have hers on right now.

“Angel,” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. “Are you… okay?”

She managed to smile. It was fake. “Why wouldn’t I be?” she tried to joke.

It fell flat.

Without another word, she stepped back and opened the door wider for him. He walked in, pausing on the creepy painting.

“I know,” she mumbled. “It’s weird.”

He huffed.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” he says, and Marinette understands.

She knows he isn’t apologizing as Damian. He’s apologizing as Robin. She can remember doing this when she had friends who got hurt. ‘I’m sorry, I should have been there.’ She knows what the meaning is beyond the words he actually says.

She knows he’s apologizing to a monster.

“You didn’t have to be,” she says, speaking to Damian. “I would have been too worried about you to… to…”

The words die in her throat but she knew what they were. To hurt the Joker. To damage him beyond repair.

“I was still,” he seemed to fight with his words too, “worried.” He spits it like a curse, like he hates saying it. Like he hates her.

Marinette could understand that. She hated having to be worried about Lila last night.

She ignored the hurt.

“You don’t have to be,” she mumbles, going over to the desk so she can sit.

“Are you fully packed?” he changed the subject.

“Yeah,” she sat at her desk. Her sketchbook, missing a few pages, was on it. Her phone was in her pocket. The rest of her suitcase and backpack were gathered by the foot of her bed.

The clock on the bedside table had a bright red glow. It was one of those electric ones.

She had forty-five minutes left.

The conversation lulled.

“I’m a bad friend.”

She ignored the pain.

“What?” Damian jerked. “What makes you say that? Why would you say that? There’s no reason for you to think that, Ange- Marinette.”

She tried not to flinch.

“There is,” she said slowly. “I don’t deserve you. You shouldn’t have to suffer a friendship with me.”

“What? Angel-”

“I’m a horrible person, and you shouldn’t have to deal with me.”

“What are you saying?” His eyes were wide, almost frantic. “You’re not making any sense.”

“I’m not supposed to,” she could feel a tear slide down her cheek. “You… you’ll understand soon.”

Damian looked lost. “Angel-”

“I’m not an angel,” she got up, heading to the closet. “I don’t deserve that name.”

“Please, you’re not making any sense,” she paused outside of the closet. Why did he sound so hurt? He had to hate her.

She was a monster, and monsters deserved to be hated.

“I’m an awful person, a horrible friend,” she whispered. “I’m protecting you from me.”

“I don’t need prote-”

In one quick move she grabbed a shoddy sketchbook paper-wrapped rectangle and threw it at the bed next to him.

“That’s yours,” her voice was wobbling. Tears were falling off her face and onto her shirt. “Open it when I leave, then you’ll understand why I can’t be your friend anymore.”

This was the most expressive she’s ever seen Damian. His face seemed to fall, and he picked it up carefully.

“You don’t want to… to be my friend?” he whispered. His eyes were shiny, and he sounded like he was about to cry. It was probably from relief.

She was a monster, and monsters didn’t deserve happiness.

“I don’t deserve to,” Marinette corrected.

She betrayed his trust. She went behind his back and discovered something about him that she wouldn’t ever be able to forget – not in this universe.

He didn’t deserve someone like that. He wasn’t a monster like she was, and deserved someone better to be his friend and to comfort him and-

“I need to call my parents,” she lied again. She loathed liars and now she was one. But that was okay.

She was a monster, and monsters deserved to be loathed.

If anything, Damian looked even more hurt. He didn’t say anything though, simply taking the package and walking out the door.

He didn’t slam it. He closed it with a soft click.

“Marinette,” Tikki sounded horrified. “What did you do?”

“He-he deserved better,” Marinette sobbed. “He doesn’t-doesn’t deserve… He doesn’t deserve…”

She broke down into sobs then. Ugly, horrible sobs that her hotel room pillow didn’t fully muffle.

“You can still fix this!” Tikki cried. “You can call him, you have his number, or-”

Marinette shook her head. She couldn’t.

She was a monster, and monsters didn’t deserve to love.

Oh.

Oh no.

She loved him.

She…

She was in love with Damian.

Marinette’s tears started fresh. She was in love with Damian. She couldn’t pinpoint a when, but she was…

It felt soothing, for a moment. It was not as obsessive as her crush on Adrien was, but something calmer. It flowed like a stream, natural.

But now, the stream was boiling. It hurt to breathe, to move, to think, because she loved Damian.

And she didn’t deserve him.

She now felt all of the hurt, the pain, everything she had been ignoring, full force.

It was mint it was chains it was tight throats and burning lungs and sobs.

It was painful.

oooOOOooo

Five minutes until they leave the hotel for the airport. Marinette had her backpack on her back, her suitcase in hand, and her sketchbook under her arm. Her phone was in her pocket and Tikki was in her backpack.

When she arrived at the lobby, everyone was waiting in groups. She saw several red and puffy eyes, none as worse as Lila Rossi.

Oddly enough, she sat alone.

Kim was the first to see her. He was pacing and looked up when he heard her quiet footsteps. “Mari,” he breathed. “I’m so sorry.”

What?

“What?” she asked. Her voice wasn’t wobbly, but it cracked.

“I’m sorry too,” Alix piped up. “We may have gotten suspicious toward the end, but we still believed Lila for years. I’m sorry.”

What?

They… didn’t believe Lila?

Other classmates began to step forward, shame-faced. Rose was still crying. Juleka’s hair hid one eye, but the other was still shining as well.

“Marinette, I’m so sorry,” the small blonde cried. “Lila, she did that, and-and you’re you and you don’t deserve it and-”

“What?” she was still confused. What… what happened? Why were they…

“Damian Wayne was here earlier,” Alix stepped in. “He called Lila out on her bullsh-”

“Alix!” Ms. Buistier cried.

“He called you out too, you know,” Alix snapped back immediately. “And don’t think I’m not going to bring up all the points he argued about you to the school board.”

Ms. Bustier paled considerably. Marinette was worried she’d faint.

“The point is, he called Lila out for all the lies she told,” Kim frowned. “Well, the ones he knew of. The rest of us filled in the blanks for him.”

“It helped when the police showed us the security footage of last night,” Juleka mumbled. “Alya couldn’t argue with facts.”

Alya, also sitting alone, flinched.

“You don’t have to forgive any of us,” Rose was still crying. “We don’t deserve it. But I- I still wanted to apologize.”

“Same,” Alix grumbled. Kim nodded.

Marinette was still confused.

She was a monster, and monsters deserved to be detested.

But they didn’t detest her.

At least, not anymore.

Professor Mendeleiev clapped her hands to get the class’ attention. Everyone began to file into the bus to go to the airport.

The security officer policeman nodded to her on her way out. Marinette wished they hadn’t seen her.

On the bus, she still sat alone. She knew they wanted to give her space, but Marinette didn’t care.

Her phone was in her hand. She opened up her and Damian’s text chat. She was going to delete all the messages. She had to delete them. She had to…

She didn’t want to. These were the only proof she had that their friendship existed.

She found herself rereading messages on the way to the airport. She’d never find a nickname for him in the chat, she realized. Her endeavor failed.

But Marinette already felt terrible, so what was a little more scorn? After all, she betrayed her best and only friend. She betrayed him. She ended their friendship because he deserved better. She made sure he hated her. And she couldn’t even delete her only reminder of the whole thing. She was pathetic.

She didn’t break.

She wished she did.

[homespork-review]

Spork Introduction

CHEL: Hi! I go by Chel, they or she pronouns, and I’m the one spearheading this project. I still like at least a fair percentage of Homestuck, but after the ending disappointed me a great deal, I got bitter, and when Hussie pissed me off further by Godwinning himself, I decided to do something about it. I’m no longer angry about it, but I felt I’d benefit from picking out what I hate from what I love so I can focus on the latter without annoyance getting in the way, and also to benefit my own writing efforts.

BRIGHT: Howdy! I’m Bright, and I got into Homestuck fairly recently. After ploughing through the archive and digesting for a while, I realised that I was thoroughly annoyed by how something enjoyable had fallen apart so comprehensively. I am looking forward to the time-honoured practice of ripping the story apart to identify its weak points and shout at them.

FAILURE ARTIST: Hello, I’m Failure Artist (call me FA for short), she/her/herself pronouns, and I’m so old-school they burned the school down. I was introduced to Homestuck via Something Awful’s Webcomic thread. I checked the old mspadventures.com site and the latest update was [S] John: Bite Apple. After watching that bizarre piece of animation, I had to know what the hell happened before then. I found I enjoyed the wit of the comic though I didn’t really care much about the plot. It was only when Act 5 came around that I became a serious fan. I currently have 122 Homestuck works on Archive of Our Own. I have a lot of free time, you see. I am very disappointed in how Homestuck ended. Possibly there was no completely satisfactory way it could end but it still could have been better. I feel like Hussie was a juggler who threw a lot of balls into the air and ignored them as they fell to the ground and some fans think not catching them was a master move since you’d expect he’d try to catch at least one. Sadly, lots of the problems with the ending are embedded deep within the canon.

TIER: Hi hi. I am Tier, a very late newcomer to the wonderful world of Homestuck (2018 reader!) and average fan overall. I love this webcomic to bits, but the low points are deep and I enjoy seeking out what the heck went wrong. Not particularly analytical myself, hope that's cool!

CHEL: Cool by us! We’ve already done plenty of analysing before we started, as you may realise from my Tumblr’s “homestuck ending hate” tag (at @chelonianmobile).

FAILURE ARTIST: But let’s put that aside for a moment and talk about the good stuff. 

Homestuck is incredibly innovative. It is the first true webcomic. It’s not just a print comic posted online. It uses not just still images and words but also animation, music, and interactive games.

Homestuck is the latest adventure in the series MS Paint Adventures. MS Paint Adventures started as a forum adventure. In forum adventures, the OP acts as a sort of Dungeon Master and other forum members give them prompts. Andrew Hussie’s previous works under MS Paint Adventures were Jailbreak (which is little more than Hussie dicking with the prompters in scatological ways), Bard’s Quest (Choose-your-own-adventure), and the actually-completed Problem Sleuth. Problem Sleuth lacks the music and animation and despite the weird physics shenanigans is a simpler story than Homestuck. The characters aren’t even two dimensional.

Homestuck (and the previous MS Paint Adventures minus Bard’s Quest) are set up like adventure games. Adventure games are where the player is a protagonist in a story and are usually focused on puzzle-solving though sometimes there’s combat. In the beginning, these games were purely text. The player would type what they wanted to do and the game would spout back text describing it - assuming the computer parser understood you.

CHEL: Oh god, I HATED that. I wasn’t around for the heyday but I’ve played a couple and

Pale Luna

was barely an exaggeration (horror warning).

FAILURE ARTIST: As graphics improved, adventure games started using them, but the commands were still in text. Only later was the point-and-click interface created and players didn’t have to guess what exact sentence the computer wanted them to type. Homestuck and the other MS Paint Adventures play with that frustration while paying tribute to the genre. The game within the comic uses RPG elements but the comic itself is set up like those good ol’ adventure games. In the beginning, Homestuck was guided by commands from forum members. Even after he closed the suggestion box, he used memes and fanon created by readers.

CHEL: How good an idea this was varies, as we’ll be showing.

We probably don’t need to describe Homestuck much more. Everyone here who hasn’t read it will doubtless have heard of it. Almost everyone with a Tumblr will have seen fanart, almost anyone at a convention will have seen cosplay. Shoutouts have been made to it in professional works such as the cartoon Steven Universe, and the Avengers fandom latched onto “caw caw motherfuckers” as a catchphrase for Hawkeye to the point that it’s now often forgotten it didn’t originate from there.

FAILURE ARTIST: The Homestuck fandom term “sadstuck” for depressing stories/headcanons somehow leaked into other fandoms. Using second-person is actually cool now and not just for awkward reader fics. Astrology will never be the same again.

CHEL: Now, in the interests of fairness, we will say that when Homestuck is good, it’s amazing, and it’s good often. The characters at least start out appealing and are all immediately distinguishable; even with the typing quirks stripped, it’s easy to tell who said what. The magic system is one of the coolest I’ve ever seen, who doesn’t love classpecting themselves and their faves? Hussie also shows a lot of talent for the complex meta and time travel weirdness, and it is fascinating to watch a timeline thread unfurl. And whatever else one says, it’s a fascinating story that’s captivated millions. I think it is deserving of its title as a modern classic.

However, as the years have passed, we have ended up noticing problems, big and small, and they nagged at us until we decided it had to be dissected. Our intention here isn’t to tear apart something we loathe entirely. It’s to take a complex work and pick out what works from what doesn’t. As I said, when Homestuck is good, it’s very very good. But when it’s bad, we get problems of every scale from various offensive comments to dragging pace to characters ignoring problems and solutions right under their noses to an absolute collapse of every theme and statement the comic stood for before.

The comic is ludicrously long; eight thousand pages, or thereabouts, to be specific. Officially one of the longest works of fiction in the English language, in fact. Naturally, we can’t riff that word by word in any timeframe short of decades, and we can’t include every picture, even if that was permitted under copyright law. Instead, as comics have been done here before, we’ll recap most of the time, and include sections of dialogue and pictures when particularly relevant to a point.

Here are the counts we’ll be using, possibly to be added to later if we find we forgot anything. Most of these counts will only start to climb post-Act 5, but we’ll be keeping track of them from the beginning. Most of them could have been fixed with a decent editor, which is sadly a hazard of webcomics, but still frustrating to read.

TIER: Note: we started this endeavor months before the thought of a "technically not but still we'll count it" set of canon epilogues were a twinkle in the eyes of the fandom. That is, by the way, a whole 'nother can of worms that will be dealt with at a later date if that ever comes around. We're judging Homestuck the Webcomic as a whole, so no after the credits stuff is to be noted for whatever reason.

ALL THE LUCK - Vriska Serket constantly gets a pass or gets favored over every other character. This count is added to every time she pulls some shenanigans with which others wouldn’t get away. ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? - Sometimes it’s not entirely clear whether a thing is supposed to be taken seriously or not. We don’t require hand-holding through every joke, but when, for example, we’re supposed to take one instance of violence seriously while a similar case is supposed to be funny, this count goes up. CALL CPA PLEASE - Instances of creepy sexual behaviour (and perhaps particularly gratuitous acts of violence) from the thirteen-year-old cast. Now, mileage may vary on this one. We won’t pretend that thirteen-year-olds are perfect pure angels, especially thirteen-year-olds growing up in what is openly supposed to be a nightmarish dystopia. However, when full pages focus on said behaviour, there comes a point of it being very uncomfortable to read. Clarification: does not refer to cases where the adults do something heinous, this is strictly when the kids do. CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS - When an offensive joke or comment is made, particularly when not justified by the personality of the character involved, or presented in the narration as being okay. GET ON WITH IT! - When the pace drags. ‘Nuff said. Hazard of the format, but it makes archive bingeing very annoying. GORE GALORE - For unnecessary and/or excessive torture porn which is treated less seriously because it features troll characters, and therefore less “realistic” blood colours. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC - When the comic does something mentioned in How Not To Write A Novel, and it isn’t justified by the webcomic format. HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING - Characters repeatedly neglect to do something about or even react to terrible happenings, either because they don’t care even if they should or they forget they have the capacity. Not necessarily anything to do with their magical powers, either - characters ignore personal problems that are right under their noses, too. IN HATE WITH MY CREATION - For reasons that are unclear, Hussie chose to create characters he apparently hated writing, or at least ignored in favour of others. Every time he’s clearly disrespecting one of his own characters, this goes up, whether it’s by nerfing their powers or changing their personalities. RELATIONSHIP GOALS? - Romantic relationships in particular get fumbled quite often. Ship Teasing is used with skill, but that skill tends to be lost when the characters actually hook up. Fumbled friendships and family relations can also come under this heading. SEND THEM TO THE SLAMMER - When characters other than Vriska get away with something morally questionable. Covers everything from sexual harassment to not trying to save people from the apocalypse. SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS - Later on in Homestuck’s run, Hussie tried to make up for the offensive humour and casual -isms counted by Clockwork Problematykks above. How successful he was at this varied. This count goes up whenever an attempt at progressivism is waved in front of the reader but doesn’t stand up under scrutiny. WHAT IS HAPPENING?? - When the already confusing plot kicks it up a notch. Admittedly this is as much a selling point of the comic as it is an issue, but either way, we’re going to keep track. Points will be added to when it gets confusing, and taken away when a previous confusing thing is explained adequately. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM - What is shown about Alternia repeatedly contradicts what we’re told about how different it is from Earth. For example, trolls still use heteronormative terms even after it’s established they reproduce bisexually, and the demonstration of the class structure doesn’t always add up. This count goes up every time that happens. It also goes up every time something happens which strongly implies Hussie was envisioning the human kids as white, despite his later claims that they were always supposed to be “aracial”, and every time their economic statuses don’t add up either.

[dotsz]

hey i finished my elmer’s glue fic i bet for the phight

@phandomphightclub​ dunno if you’re still active but here’s my bet lol fml

Empty. The room was empty.

Oh, sure, one could argue otherwise; literally speaking, the room was covered wall to floor in posters from various comic books, fanarts, certificates, and the such. Action figures littered every surface, and the camera set in front of the desk gave the impression of there always being an audience.

And yet.

It wasn’t so much the contents of the room but the atmosphere that made it feel so incredibly void of… happiness? No. Purpose. Maybe. Even the word felt empty.

Butch sighed from his place on his seat. He looked into the camera, the lenses reflecting his own mournful face back at him, and a cold pit grew in his stomach.

“What am I,” he said, “but a puppet in this madness? This simulation? This… this reality, it’s… it’s falling apart.” He put his head in his hands, inwardly cursing himself for how his shoulders shook. “Oh, Lord, it’s all falling apart.”

All this efforts to create something for this bland world, all the years of pouring his heart and soul into his work… was it for naught? Did they truly detest him so? What did he ever do to deserve such torment?

Deep in the recesses of his mind, a dark voice slithered through. But you didn’t really do anything! it whispered. Your show only did well because of the concept; still people fight you on it, tell you what you could do better, yet you refuse to open your mind and accept criticism-

“Silence yourself,” Butch murmured fiercely. “I am not weak. I don’t listen to those who are less than me.”

But are they really less than you? it cackled. What if you are the one in the simulation? The dream? The nightmare? What if they are telling you to wake up? What if your masterpiece is really the key to your salvation, not theirs?

“That doesn’t even make any sense.” Butch stood abruptly from his chair, and the screech it made as it slid across the floor caused him to cringe almost as much as the phandom while watching Livin’ Large. “I created their childhood. Without me, they would not exist. I shaped their very souls.”

Is that the truth? Or simply your over-inflated ego?

“Who even are you?” Butch whirled around to face his wall of fanart, which had not been updated since, like, 2015. “What business do you have to be in my mind, speaking poison into me?”

I am your insecurities.

“Impossible. I have none.”

Let me clarify, said the voice. I am the insecurities created out of your show. The creation of Danny Phantom came with sacrifice; it came with the knowledge that despite your initial ideas being of interest, your writing and unwillingness to stray from your narrow-minded beliefs of what cartoons are to be caused the show to inevitably fall into mediocrity.

“Hey-”

The inspiration of superheroes, woven into a twist of a child’s secret identity stemming from keeping themselves safe rather than those they love, coupled with the allure of ghosts in a small, eerie town, as well as relatable and well-written depictions of teenage characters, could’ve made the show to be a legend, revered, given much more than two seasons plus one half-assed excuse for a season and conclusion.

“Are you done yet?” Butch asked irritatedly, an ache beginning to form between his eyes. He didn't have time for this. He didn’t have much time for anything, it seemed, what with Oaxis needing more support and his fans letting him down… he was always being let down…

Stop whining, the voice snapped. Anyway, as I was saying: if Danny Phantom had been given the same treatment as other popular cartoons, like Gravity Falls, the creepiness would’ve fit its child-like innocence enough to give it the right kind of feel people were hoping for when you put ghosts and superheroes together. Truly, I pity you. You could’ve done something great.

“Stop…” Butch groaned. His head pounded, his hands shook, and every inch of his body tried its hardest to go against the thoughts that had begun to enter his brain. His - no, it was no longer his - fandom had grown into a phandom, solely for the show, leaving his ideas behind for “better” ones of their own. And when he demanded answers, they only laughed in his face… is this what he’d become? A laughing stock? An example of everything he’s ever hated?

This simulation of life was created for us to give, the voice said, sounding much more sympathetic. But they’ve done nothing but take from you.

“I…” Butch gasped, fell into his chair, stared into the camera. Soulless lenses.

Isn’t it your fault, though? You pushed them away, didn’t you?

Black spots danced before his eyes.

You false god, said the voice, and Butch lost consciousness.

He swam in darkness for what felt like eons. Bursts of light and noise every so often tore through the veil in front of him; he heard whispers from years past, mutterings of guacamole and a red-head background character, the phrase Phantom Planet’s Not Canon Fuck You; he saw lists of dissection fics and metaphysical hang-out spots at Denny’s, accusations of diaper fetishes… finally showing his ridicule after announcing Oaxis, the way they slandered him.

This was his legacy being shown.

Butch groaned. Something soft remained under him.

“Oh, good, you’re awake,” said a voice to his right. Familiar.

He opened his eyes, slowly, pushing through the heaviness, black spots receding to the corners of his vision. He took a moment to recognize he still sat in his office, only this time on a small couch by the corner.

“Here, drink some water,” said the same voice. Butch turned his head to look-

And froze.

It was him. It looked like him. Same strong jawline, luscious locks of dark hair, broad shoulders and tight-fitting shirt that stretched over his toned physique; same deep, soulful brown eyes, a charming grin showing perfect, pearly-white teeth.

It was like looking into a mirror.

The other him grinned wider, holding out a cup of water. “Here, drink up.”

As if on autopilot, Butch reached forward and took the glass out of Other-Butch’s hands. Their fingers brushed, and something akin to electricity traveled up his arm and into his chest, warming him up from the inside, making him gasp. With shaking hands, he gulped down the cold drink and shivered at the chill.

“What was that?” Butch choked out, staring at the perfection that was his face - on another body, yet so incredibly familiar he had no choice but to feel calm, secure, happy.

Other-Butch laughed, booming and infectious. “Oh, you took a nasty fall, all right. Don’t worry, the voice in your head won’t come as long as I’m here.”

“Alright?” Butch paused. “Who are you?”

“I’m you,” said Other-Butch simply. “Well, not exactly; I have my own thoughts and feelings too, of course. But I’m still you. Same memories.”

“Same name?”

“Butch Hartman.” Other-Butch smiled softly as if he were revisiting an old nostalgic memory. “But you can call me Elmer, if it’s too confusing.”

“Elmer.” Butch tried the name on his tongue - it fit. “I haven’t heard that in years.”

“It’s pretty old, isn’t it?” Elmer sighed, leaning forward. His biceps flexed as he wrung his large hands together. “Butch, do you remember the Golden Days?”

“The what?”

“The Golden Days.” A ghost of a smile. “Back when everyone loved your show. I mean, they still do, but they respected it back then. Loved you. Your ideas.”

“I…” Butch closed his eyes. “Yes. Yes, I do. Good times.”

“I remember your - our passion,” Elmer continued, his voice dripping with wistfulness. “And now? What now?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re giving up,” Elmer said, his tone suddenly sharp.

Butch snapped his eyes open to stare at Elmer. His jaw jutted out defiantly, his eyes smoldering, looking into his very soul. For the second time today, Butch shivered.

“You can’t give up, not now,” Elmer continued. “What about Oaxis? What about the children? You’re making the future, Butch.”

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. Butch sniffed angrily - he, crying? The almighty Butch Hartman? No, he would not stoop to such low measures. “The phandom-”

“Those little shits know nothing of what you’ve accomplished,” Elmer hissed. “All they’re good for is making bad shitposts and hurting your canon. What happened to ‘You can’t bring me down,’ to ‘Criticism only makes me stronger?’ What happened to the Butch we know?’

Butch stayed silent.

“You can’t give up.” Elmer grabbed his hand, brought it close to him. Butch gasped at the energy flowing between them. “You can’t.”

And through his doubt, a pinprick of light shone through; a small bit of passion broke through, then multiplied, flooding his veins and swelling his heart as he fell further into the electricity Elmer brought him.

Butch grinned, reminiscent to his old bravado. “You’re right.”

Elmer mirrored his grin. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

“You will?”

“We can do this together,” Elmer said, his eyes wide and open. Butch leaned into him, the two embracing, gasping at the energy coursing through them. Yes, this was meant to be. They were meant to be.

And whatever happened, Butch knew he’d be ready. With Elmer by his side.

“We can fix this simulation,” Elmer whispered hoarsely into his ear. “Together. Like glue.”

And Butch said, “Okay.”

And together, they created.

[applegelstore]

My sis and I are through with the actual main plot of KH3, so I can officially go back to scheduled ToZ fangirling now. …Well, I promised Cray a bit of fix-it-fanart, so after that, I guess.

Hit the cut for a resume. It got super long and has endgame story spoilers, so you might not want to stumble upon it by accident.

Another extra big shoutout (again!) to @crazayrock for bearing my liveblogging on Discord, screaming without context and occasional spoilers. And linking me fluffy Soriku doujinshi. Here, have my favourite, spoiler-heavy excerpt of our conversation:

Okay anyway, let’s get started: GAMEPLAY

Kingdom Hearts 3 is BEAUTIFUL. The gameplay is so smooth and intuitive that you can immediately get to playing like you’d never done anything else; in fact so smooth that I doubt I will ever be able to pick up the first game ever again. It’s always been fun, but the looooooong years’ gap actually did wonders to the gameplay.

The keyblade form changes are fun and keep things fresh, you can do flashy triangle button shit every other minute, and shotlock is still insanely useful without being a game-breaker.

It seems easier than the first two main games, though?

The gummi ship is still a pain in the ass to steer, but I do enjoy the open world-like travel options (even if there’s not… much to discover except heartless lasering the shit out of you). I’m also eternally grateful that they kept the gummi ship thing from KH2 where you can just use a new gummi ship once you got the blueprint and don’t buy actual fucking legos as in the first game.

Thank you, Square. Not thanking you for the dumb cherry flan game, though.

The Caribbean being basically an open world stage was delightful! Apparently what our resident island kid needs is a big ship and tropical islands to plunder.

VISUALS AND STUFF

PRETTY LIGHTS EVERYWHERE

The long gap between the games also did wonders to the visuals.

There’s finally, FINALLY a few towns with actual NPCs you can talk to. Why it took the team so many years and the Gods know how many games is beyond me. The magic effects are beautiful, the animations smooth (honestly you can hardly tell apart cutscenes and fully rendered CGI scenes in this day and age of the PS4. I’m probably the only person still amazed by this because the only games I played on PS4 before were a few hours of Child of Light and of course Tales of Zestiria and Berseria. No, I still haven’t played FFXV but that’s a topic for another day). How far videogames have come.Even space finally looks like space, lol. Not really high-end what the PS4 can do I assume but god, it’s such an amazing and much needed upgrade from the terrible textureless colourful tubes you flew through before.

No excuse for the terrible battleship thingy before the Keyblade Graveyard, though. I got lost and beaten up so many times and crashed against more walls than I can count.

Nothing beats the World that Never Was, but the Keyblade Graveyard also has creepy cool potential, as does the beautiful but ghosted City in the Sky.

Still not getting what’s with JRPGs and very Definitely Final Dungeons (TM) that are basically space. …………or heaven. Or nothing. I’m getting the bad kind of original NGE TV series ending vibes. But. Okay.

The soundtrack is splendid

.……I miss Traverse Town and Radiant Garden, however.

Which brings us to:

THE WORLDS

I guess I can live with no more Final Fantasy characters being there (although I always loved that), and the meta jokes in Toy Story world really got me. Seeing Disney characters calling the KH villains call out on their shit was delightful. …the KH characters lampshading their own games’ sloppy dialogue writing was delightful.Still, those Disney worlds are always so much more in my head than what I actually get to play. This has been bugging me ever since the first game and it still does. I do not expect or want to replay the entire movies, but would it hurt to give the cutscenes some goddamn background music? Whenever there’s cutscenes, either the world’s usual BGM keeps playing or the music stops altogether. Together with the shortened dialogues and generally drastically shortened plots with odd cuts, that leads to scenes that are awkward at best. They never even remotely have the impact the movies had. You just sit there and think “oh wow that is so silly and awkward”.

Dancing scene in Corona? My favorite scene in Tangled. Zero impact on me without the lovely BGM (at least they made it a minigame so the moment isn’t over after 3 secs). Just for example. You can ask me like, world by world, but I can think of only exception off the top of my head and it’s not helping:

Let it Go of course. Listen guys, I actually love the song. But it’s so overused (and Frozen is an overrated movie at best that doesn’t deserve its hype in the slightest) that I can’t even really enjoy it being there. Like.


IF THAT’S OKAY WITH YOU,WHY DIDN’T YOU INCLUDE LITERALLY ANY OTHER ORIGINAL SONG FROM THE ORIGINAL MOVIES. Instead of BGM just not being there entirely, or in odd, cringey re-renderings that nobody wants to listen to (*cough* Atlantica *cough*).

Why torture me and not give me the one good scene from At World’s End (the up is down scene) when you had the chance?Kingdom Hearts is also prone to super lazy level design and wasting chances at wonderful scenery for no apparent reason other than I suppose empty cliffsides are quick to render. All games before did that, and KH3 is, sadly, no exception. We get to see a bit of Corona and Athens and they finally have NPCs, too, but you cannot even get near Arendelle. You cannot enter Elsa’s palace. You spend the entire time there climbing around in the snowy mountains of Norway, and unfortunately it looks less interesting than one would expect from the lovely concept art that the film unfortunately never used.You cannot enter Rapunzel’s tower although Sora can apparently parkour his way up even without her help.

………In short, the places you can go are, again, very limited, and a lot of interesting places and scenes you never get to see.

And to follow the plot you still only need the stuff that does NOT happen in those Disney worlds because they’re all beach filler episodes. It’s always been like that, but I keep wondering whether I’m the only one bothered by that. I’m also still salty they didn’t introduce a single new world from a 2D animated movie.

Also, as I said, I miss Traverse Town, it felt so warm and welcoming and beautiful.

And I get behind The World that Never Was missing although I loved it there, but why not give us back Radiant Garden? Destiny Islands since they’ve been restored? Disney Castle?

As much as I love the series, it never fucking lives up to its own potential. Idk whether it’s made more difficult by copyright issues or whatever, I just know that it bugs me.The first two games also had like twice as many worlds.

PLOT

I mean it’s never been deep; however, it’s complicated. No analysis or whatever from me because plot analysis and meta writing bore me like seven hells, just my emotional reaction: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 
Okay, bad news. I got into it expecting nothing, and still got disappointed. I don’t actually enjoy the prospect of writing essays about it, but here’s my tea with it; in not particular order:

1) the pacing is terrible. Nothing happens for like 30 hours and then suddenly like 20 characters’ arcs are (naturally poorly) resolved within the last few hours of cutscenes. Build up anyone? At least they actually did pick up Maleficent and the box thing again. …In the epilogue.

2) Speaking of build ups, Sora’s breakdown could have been developed nicely and steadily over the game to feel natural, and instead it’s hinted at in the beginning by everyone picking on him, but then it’s never further developed and comes out of fucking nowhere. Like. For real? It felt terribly OOC.

3) Why on earth have they shown 90% of the plot in the trailers already, and why are those scenes so massively disappointing in context

4) Kairi. Oh god, Kairi. What are we gonna do with you. I want to love her, I really do, but she’s a prime example of shittily written female leads. Mostly because she’s not leading. It’s not her fault. She’s just a fictional character. But honest to God, Nomura, why. Her screen time is almost nonexistent, and she’s entirely use- and helpless whenever she’s on screen (which isn’t often). Her ONLY point in the plot is being rescued because she is fucking useless. Why. Just why. Why waste her character like that. All we know is that she’s shoehorned into being the token love interest, but she has zero plot relevance and there is even less build up of her relationship with Sora. It’s all tell and NEVER show; and not even much telling, either. She has literally zero direct interaction with in the entire game before they share their paopu. The question remains: why are straights like this

5) On a related note: look, I don’t even ask for (or expect, or even hope) my ship to be canon. Squeenix doesn’t exactly have a rich history in queer representation. I’m totally fine with Sora and Riku being best friends. BUT. Building up Sora as the most important person in Riku’s life (and arguably, vice versa) over the course of several games, just to then hardly have them interact in the finale and then SUDDENLY bring back Kairi into the equation, who hasn’t interacted with him since the ending of KH2 (except for one unsent(?) letter) is just piss poor writing, period.I actually love Cray’s suggestion she gave me over Discord: let Sora, Kairi and Riku all share a paopu together (and let them group hug, too, you cowards). It would have been the perfect message to send (Sora as truly all-loving hero, and loving all your friends equally; romantic love isn’t more important than platonic love and doesn’t need to be singled out). Really sad that this isn’t what happens. Apparently that wouldn’t have been no homo enough.

LET THE DESTINY TRIO GROUP HUG YOU COWARDS


Do Riku and Kairi even interact once in the whole game?


HOW IS THIS A TRIO, IT’S JUST A SHITTILY WRITTEN LOVE TRIANGLE

6) Time travelling is a bitch, Christ. It doesn’t solve plotholes or can be played for drama, it just adds MORE plotholes. It just got WORSE. The cloning blues and people not aging doesn’t help, either.

7) Just so you know, I care absolutely zero for wild fan theories. You’re not Nomura. I want a statement from the man who wrote this shit himself why on bloody earth Sora dies when he apparently successfully found and brought back Kairi (and since nobody aged a day, apparently it didn’t even take that long lol). DUDES, THIS IS KINDA PART OF THE PLOT, AND YOU DON’T BOTHER TO EXPLAIN IT INGAME???? And how was Ienzo/Zexion able to revive Naminé while Kairi was still missing/dead/whatever…?

Okay so in short the writing is worse than ever and that’s saying something.

However, let’s try to find something good in this trainwreck; it wasn’t all bad. There’s some really nice scenes which sadly are better enjoyed without any context at all.

So, guess my favourite scenes.You had time enough, here’s the solution:

1) Purifying uhm er rescuing Aqua. Poor girl. She deserves the rest. Poor, poor Aqua. The only properly wirrten female in the whole damn franchise. Also the only person other than Riku who fucking gets shit done.

2) The Gayblade (TM)

3) Happy Axel in the reunion with his kids. Oh god, the poor chap deserves it so much. Thank you, Nomura. I don’t care that it makes pretty much no sense. Make him happy. Give him his friends back. Just give Axel all his friends and let him happily set things on fire. Hi I love Axel

4) The party at the beach cutscene before the credits roll. Axel and Xion get clothes. Half the organization is on our side now. I almost teared up at the Wayfinder trio saying goodbye to Eraqus’ forceghost. Hey come on he’s the voice of Luke Skywalker

5) Sully yeeting Vanitas

6) Woody calling out Xehanort that nobody loves him

7) Jack Sparrow bad breathing Luxord

I wish we had gotten:

1) justice for Kairi

2) a happy Zexion, the poor emo kid. Well maybe now he will be, with all the orga members who changed sides now, lol.

3) I will never trust mobile games ever again so I don’t want to play KHUX but I would have loved to learn about the Keyblade Wars :;))))


WHAT WAS THE KEYBLADE WAR ABOUT CAN WE SPEND MORE TIME IN THAT COOL CITY IN THE SKY WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH MIKLEO
I MEAN THAT EPHEMER KIDDO


WHAT’S WITH THE MASKED DUDES AND DUDETTES FROM THE MOVIE


WTF WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM AFTER THE MOVIE???? WHERE THOSE KEYBLADE USER NAMES ACTUAL MOBILE GAME PLAYER NAMES??? Next game? PLEASE?

I really, REALLY hope the epilogue means we will get Xiggy/Luxu as our new big bad and we learn more about the five dudes and dudettes from the movie. Please. PLEASE. I’m so up for it. Them finally pickung up the bit with Maleficent and the mysterious box again? Hell yeah.

The secret movie was really unexciting in comparison, although I laughed very hard at the “Verum Rex” scene in Toy Story world. Maybe that’s why it was much cheaper to unlock than in KH1 and KH2.

4) give Ven a drink

DLC ideas I would actually pay for because I’m a sad human being: 1) more Disney worlds 2) Japanese audio 3) at least one of the following as permanently playable characters: Riku, Kairi, Axel, Ven, Aqua. At least as a guest member as in KH2. THIS SUCH A BIG STEP BACKWARDS I’M FUMING

FINAL THOUGHTS

Kingdom Hearts 3 is a hella lot of fun, beautiful, and also moving when it sets its mind to it. Unfortunately it doesn’t always do so. I don’t feel like it wasn’t worth the wait; it was. However, I’m very salty how rotten the writing is. I do not mind logical fallacies, I do not mind the cheesiness and cringeyness; however, I do mind how so many interesting characters do not get the screentime they deserve, and Kairi is a very bad joke.

I’ll probably find more to nitpick about (Gods. Just. Don’t come up with dub excuses why Sora is lv 1 in each game. JUST LEAVE IT BE. You don’t explain why Donald and Goofy are lv 1 again, either. JUST. LEAVE. IT. BE. The sacrifice was dumb and not even moving, I’m just still furious that Kairi’s ONLY point in the plot is being so useless that it’s literally getting herself KILLED and she needs constant rescuing to the point that Sora has to sacrifice himself for her, effectively. Kairi deserves better, Sora deserves better, I deserve better than to think about this absurdity.…I’m just… gonna cherry-pick the good bits from the lore and try to pretend the finale didn’t exist, I guess. GODS.

[earlgraytay]

I think one of the things I like most about NieR Automata- and about NieR as a whole- is that it doesn’t... lean into its brutality. In fact, it almost feels like a mirror image of Terry Pratchett’s hopeful cynicism.

 [Spoilers under cut.]

...The thing is, with NieR... I know the games are tragic. So I expect everything to go wrong at any given moment. I expect our protagonists to lose and/or fuck up everything. I expect every questline to end in something bad happening or something absolutely creepy going down. 

And sometimes I’m right. (See: the fucking STAMP QUEST. I got lulled into a false sense of security there. Guh.) But a lot of the time, thus far, I haven’t been.

Like... to compare NieR Automata to Dark Souls for a second... In Dark Souls, you never want to buy everything from a vendor, or finish a sidequest (other than the Oolacile DLC maybe), or fight an optional boss. At least, not for story reasons. Because if you progress things at all, something awful is going to happen to everyone involved. 

In NieR Automata... and hell, even in NieR Gestalplicant... that’s true sometimes. And it’s true with a lot of the ‘main’ storyline events. 

...But a lot of the time, you can do something nice for someone and it just... winds up being something nice. Reuniting a family of robots. Helping someone find their #widget. Giving 6O a glimpse of the surface. (...I’ve seen fanart that makes me think this isn’t always a good deed, but in Route A, at least, that’s all it seems to be.) Saving the Resistance camp. Or, on a more tragic note, giving someone back their memory of their lost lover.

And sometimes, characters you think are on the chopping block... just aren’t. Like, at the start of Route B, you’re playing as a little stubby machine, and you’re trying to get oil to fix your broken/dead brother. ...I was 90% sure this character wasn’t going to survive his playable cutscene and that he’d get murdernated by 2B or 9S within ten minutes. (Both because Route B in Gestalplicant was the Nice Job Breaking It Hero route, and because playing as a machine was The Literal Worst.)     

But... he didn’t. He survived. He probably never managed to fix his brother, and for all we know, he could be one of the kajillion faceless machines you kill in the process of getting the game. 

But... Maybe he did. Maybe he lasted longer.  Maybe he fixed his brother.

Maybe Pascal’s villagers and the Resistance manage to heal after getting attacked by Eve’s crazy robots. Maybe route A 2B and 9S got to live happily afterwards, at least for a while, and find some kind of redemption. 

Emil survived, and despite everything, he’s still him. Nature survived, despite the aliens trying to destroy it all and the world becoming a battleground. Yonah and 9S made it out okay, despite everything pointing to the contrary. 

... This is a world where death cults jump into molten metal and crazed robots create mind-viruses to destroy the entire world out of rage and grief. It’s not a good or happy place. There are a million little tragedies happening every day, and you’ve caused a good number of them.

And yet.... there’s always that maybe. There’s always the chance that things might get better. That people can learn to be better and not fight for stupid reasons and maybe, just maybe, leave this world better than they found it. 

It’s what makes the tragedies all that more tragic. In a world like Dark Souls, it stops getting to you after a while. You know, going into any questline or character arc, that the character you’re hanging out with is doomed, that they’re probably going to go Hollow and you’re going to have to murder them in Fun and Creative Ways, and that you really shouldn’t care. You know that you’re probably not going to get a happy ending; you’re here for the journey, not the destination. 

 But in NieR... there’s just enough goodness, just enough light, that you can’t help but hope. 

A lot of the tragedy in NieR comes from that ‘maybe’ being broken. Revenge begets revenge begets revenge, well-meaning people do horrible things in the name of Right, and everything spirals downward from there. That vague hope, that maybe, is destroyed. Because people refuse to learn to be better, refuse to see the other people around them as people, refuse to acknowledge that they might be wrong.     

As I played the end of Route A... the thing it reminded me of, in an odd way, was Terry Pratchett’s Night Watch. They’ve got almost nothing in common in terms of plot or characters. ...But tonally? they’re weirdly similar. They’re about doing the right thing and trying to save the people you care about, even if it’s meaningless. About that maybe. About that chance, that slim sliver of hope, even when you know you’re doomed to a certain fate. 

Discworld is all about what happens when that ‘maybe’ wins out. When people do learn to be better. When people learn to not be racist and stupid and greedy and narrow-minded, when people come together to make some kind of change to the world and it actually changes for the better. “The truth’s got its boots on, and it’s going to start kicking.”  

NieR- especially NieR Gestalt/Replicant- is about what happens when that ‘maybe’ loses. When people don’t, or can’t, learn to be better. When people change the world for the worse, because they think it’s the right thing to do. 

... And that gives the tragedy more weight and depth than it would if that ‘maybe’ wasn’t there. 

[jinjojess]

Oh, All-knowing Jess, hear my call and drive away my doubts: how was received in Japan the datamining of the beta of Pokémon Gold? What do you think about it? Are some Pokémon you like or want in actual games? (Personally, my favourite is that creepy Pinsir, for some reasons it reminds me of the Kaonashi from Spirited Away!)

You know, that’s a good question. I’ve seen some fanart and reactions on Twitter, but I didn’t really follow it much, sorry!

To make it up to you, I will now review all of the betas:

Chikorita! 

Yay! I think I’ve made it very clear that I am a big fan of this little plant nugget, so I don’t have much to add really.

10/10

AAAGGGGHHH?! 

What the fuck is this thing? How does this relate to Chikorita or Meganium, who are both largely unchanged from their beta designs? Where are the eyes? Like I’m diggin’ the tiny smug face-looking thing at the top of the bulb, but what’s the deal with the huge single eye down below? Where did the legs go? Why does the body shape change so drastically in the in-between stage when both the first and third stages are quadrupeds?!

0/10 would not trade Bayleef for it

Meganium

Whew, okay. Back on familiar ground here. Meganium is likely my least favorite of the Johto starters’ final forms, but I still like my big, dumb boy.

8/10

Tepkon 

Awww~!

So unpopular opinion, but for a long time I really disliked cyndaquil’s design. I’ve come around to it these days, but back when GS came out, it really put me off. This thing is absolutely adorable, and though the design isn’t super inspired, I still fucking love it.

7/10 wouldn’t trade cyndaquil for it, but would love to see the design reworked for future games

Chubby quilava

This is like quilava’s cousin who grows up to discover that he’s actually more of a bear than a twink. Really like it–seems very cuddly.

7/10 like quilava better but I support this thicc boi

Kirara

Seriously, this is basically just Kirara from Inuyasha. Not as crazy about this design as its pre-evos, especially since it seems like it’s trying to edge in on arcanine’s floof territory. An okay pokemon, but not a fave.

6/10 would not trade typhlosion for it

Baby Nessie

Totodile was one of those pokemon that I had been low-key hoping for, but I gotta admit that this is one adorable little fucker. Look at its stubby limbs! Its cute snoot! Its pudgy tail!

6/10 would not trade totodile but would love to see in another game

Let me clear my thoat (I hope ya don’t mind)

I am…less enthused about the middle evo. The eyes are cute and the little shy smile is to die for, but the…ballast? on its throat kind of looks like a giant boil and I’m not really here for that.

4/10 no thanks I’ll keep croconaw

Dragonair but with legs

The final evo I like a bit more–it looks like a dragonair that struck up a deal with Ursula the sea witch so that it could pursue its land-dwelling love. Now that the gem isn’t jammed right up under the chin it’s less off-putting, and the kind of fang-looking necklace is a Good Look.

6/10 still prefer feraligatr but GameFreak please dust off this design

Hoot-Hoot’s just really into henna right now

I’ve never been a huge fan of hoot-hoot, and I kind of like the extra markings. I assume they were taken off to make the design less busy as well as giving it a fanned tail, but I think I’d actually prefer this one.

5/10 would replace regular hoot-hoot with this one

It is the night

Okay, here we go! Now this is a cool-looking pokemon that would make training up a damn hoot-hoot worth it. Noctowl is a decent pokemon in the game since it means you get access to psychic moves early in the game, but I’ve always thought the design looked too goofy. I like irl owls a lot and this design really speaks to me.

8/10 go back in time and give teenage me this bird instead

Mareep

There’s not a ton to say here other than they lightened up mareep’s fleshy bits in the final release, and I like mareep quite a bit so there we go. Instead, I want to draw attention to this disaster of a backsprite. What am I even looking at? A giant ball of cotton candy that rolled through a bunch of broken candy canes?

9/10 I mean I like mareep, but I gotta take off a point for that awful backsprite

Flaaffy

Flaaffs seems largely unchanged. I’m pretty partial to this boi as well, especially since I had one following me for a bit in my Japanese Soul Silver game.

8/10 I like flaaffy, but fuck that name spelling

Ampharos

One of my fave Gen 2 pokemon! Doesn’t seem to have much different about it, though I did always question where the delightful floof went. I mean we get it back in the mega evolution but still. What was that about, GameFreak?

9/10 docked a point for lack of floof

Mikon

So this is clearly a pre-evo idea for vulpix, and it’s pretty damn cute. I love that with the addition of this member to the family, it’s confirmed that the line increases its number of tails by 3 every time it evolves. I like this, but I’m not entirely sold on it. The face lacks some detail and I feel like the design isn’t different enough from vulpix to really feel necessary.

7/10 it’s cute but I don’t think vulpix needs a pre-evo

Mahou Shoujo Green

This tangela pre-evo is pretty cute, though the body underneath kind of reminds me a bit too much of oddish. I mean maybe it’d be cool to look at the oddish line and the tangela line and see how two related species had off-shoots, but I am not really the biggest fan of baby pokemon as an institution so these will all be a hard sell for me, sorry.

6/10 again, cute but unecessary

Tangrowth as imagined by CalArts

I loved tangela a lot back in the day, and tangrowth is a really interesting pokemon as well…however this one has a little bow and ringlet hair so like, no contest, really.

9/10 this should be an alternate evo option for tangela (perhaps for females?)

i could be your angle or yuor devil

So this one is kinda cool in concept. It’s clearly drawing influence from Japanese kites, and the scary face might be an evolutionary feature designed to scare off predators…that or it’s a flying/ghost or flying/dark type and the angel imagery is the ruse. Either way I fucking love this thing.

10/10 I want this concept revisited

Qwilfish

I like qwilfish a lot! It’s got cool typing, it can perform decently on a rain team, and it’s based on a pufferfish. It’s definitely an underdog in the wider world, but not in my heart.

10/10

The Fish Who Lived

I have…reservations about this evolution though. As cool as it would be to have a qwilfish evolution, this just isn’t doing it for me. It’s kinda cool that it’s shaped like a naval mine, and the Harry Potter scar is pretty cute, but I can get over the dead-eyed stare.

4/10 yeah no I think I’m happy to wait for better evo ideas to come along

Pichu

Pichu’s cute enough I guess but I’ve never liked it as much as pikachu and sure as hell not as much as my boy raichu. However if the baby version was this roly poly cutie, I think I’d be more into it. This style of pre-evo harkens back to the good ol’ days of fat pikachu, and therefore I must doff my cap to it.

8/10 with a bit of polishing I would take this over pichu for sure

Cleffa

Okay, so of the baby pokemon, of which I am generally not fond, cleffa is by far my favorite because of how cute it is. This is also extremely cute. I like picturing the trainer being able to just grab the thing by the little knob on its head if it’s heading toward danger. Plus that tail nub is so cute! I don’t know that I could choose between this version and the actual cleffa.

9/10 would be a 10 but Nate once said “what if cleffa’s hands were its nipples?” and now I can’t unsee it

Igglybuff

Iggly has always reminded me of the Powerpuff Girls, but this beta version is so…delightfully round. God, it’s like hypnotizing how round it is. You wouldn’t have to show this from above to trick someone in a silhouette quiz. The tiny, wide-set eyes are also both piercing and kind of unassuming, which I can’t decide is cute or terrifying.

8/10 think I’d swap this guy in for the existing igglybuff

Quagsire!

I freaking LOVE quagsire. It’s so derpy, I love water/ground types, and just everything about it is cute and makes me want to hug it. The only problem with it in this beta is that there’s no wooper.

10/10 bring wooper with you bro

Natu

I’ve always thought natu was cute and really neat in concept, but I’ve never actually sat down and trained one. This sprite isn’t too different from its final one, but it is missing the color scheme, which is one of the reasons I like it.

6/10 stop being so washed out!

Xatu

Also largely unchanged from its final design, though I do prefer the Silver sprite where its wings are spread. (And I’m sorry about this, but some of the pictures will have bits of other sprites in them, since it was hard cutting these all down in Paint with a trackpad.)

7/10 very unique

Prince(ss) of the sea

Is this a pre-evo of goldeen and seaking, and I can see why it was cut. Who thought either of those would be popular enough to warrant a baby form?

2/10 fuck yeah was a meme guys, it wasn’t sincere

Marill

Marill’s okay. I think it’s fairly cute, and the design they went with using smaller ears and non-clown feet is better imo. Plus this is really minor but it’s bothering me that despite the codename “pikablu” this sprite is pink.

6/10 solid cute pokemon, but the final design is better

Finding Flounder

So I’m a big fan of lanturn because of its digimon-esque eyes and its cool typing. Chinchou I’m…eh on. This cutie though, I could get used to this.

8/10 cute eyes are better than terrifying cross eyes I’m sorry

Clanker’s Cavern

As I just said, I like lanturn a lot. However, this is a shark with an anchor attached. That’s like if you left dhelmise and sharpedo at the day care on the same day an enemy team spilled plutonium all over the yard. It’s so stupid! I love this thing so damn much.

8/10 it’s way too similar to other existing pokemon, but I still kind of want it anyway

Homsar

This thing kind of scares me. The gaping mouth, the wide eyes, and the fact that it clearly would inhabit deep parts of the ocean all make me want to nope out. That said though, I respect it.

6/10 glad they came back to this idea with elektross

Crobat

If you’ve ever battled me in one of our local or online tournaments, you will know that I have a soft spot for crobat. I think golbat’s design is kind of terrible, zubat is simplistic yet kinda cute, and crobat gets to be both cute/cool and also not suck completely in battle (see what I did there?). This design seems mostly unchanged.

8/10 a very good bro

Most likely to drive an airbrushed van

This paras pre-evo looks like it’s inspired by a lovely whimsical creature from Wonderland or Fantasia. I kind of like having a pre-evo to show that at the start the sinister mushrooms allow the baby para to call the shots, biding its time until takes over the entire nervous system as a parasect. Really not feeling the face, though.

5/10 cute, interesting idea, but I don’t know if I want to add more baby pokemon to the mix

Spinarak

I have some mild arachnophobia, but I actually rather like spinarak since it’s so adorable. This version is a little more true to life and not as adorable. Also wtf GameFreak stop giving your arachnids six legs!

5/10 very much prefer the final design but kinda reminds me of the little jumpy bois I catch and release from inside my apartment sometimes

Ariados

Again with the six legs thing. Ugh. Anyway, this beta version of ariados is actually much cuter than the one we ended up getting in the final game. I’m pretty lukewarm on ariados in general (my spider boi of choice is the far superior galvantula), but look at this thing’s face! Look at the face on its body! It’s cute even when it’s trying to be scary!

6/10 why did we not get this adorable boi?!

Skarmory

It’s skarmory. That’s it. A pokemon that I like in theory but have never been super into his design.

5/10 respectably cool but not my cup of tea

Alphonse Elric’s head in chibi form, screaming as his body melts

Here it is. My favorite of all of the beta sprites. This thing is so fucking wonderful in part because I have literally no idea what the hell it’s supposed to be. What is this?! What type is it supposed to be? What is it based on? Is it a pre-evo of an existing mon? Why is its mouth parted in an eternal screech? These questions do not necessarily have answers, and I am a sucker for mystery.

10/10 GameFreak please bring this idea to life just so that I can get closure

Mine! Mine!

So I see what they were going for. It’s a baby form of doduo, with three baby bird heads and a big puff of feathers to make it look like a brood peeking out of a nest. I respect the idea, I do. Too bad it also conjures up images in my head of rat kings and other fused abominations. 

5/10 a good idea that didn’t pan out so well

[Obligatory Undertale Reference]

Sunflora would actually probably be more intimidating if it had an evolution rather than a pre-evo, though. I’m no big fan of sunflora, but I gotta say that this sprite is way better than the one we ended up getting.

6/10 replace existing sunflora with this bullet seed-spewing former skiddo

The Littlest Babaar

I’ve never really been into elephants as a species. Like they’re cool, but they’re pretty middle of the pack for me in terms of my animal preferences. As a result, I always found donphan kind of disappointing. However, I do like phanpy quite a bit, if only for the fact that it’s goddamn adorable. This sprite is a bit plain, but does bring the cuteness.

6/10 prefer the final design but this one ain’t bad at all

Donphan

The Don hasn’t changed much at all as far as I can tell. I’ve never trained one in Gen 2, so is its backsprite really just its trunk? If so, hilarious.

5/10 congrats! you exist!

That’s the statement of the grave mint, Doublemint

I can’t decide if this was intended to be a pre-evo for ghastly or if it’s supposed to be a new ghost type (perhaps later replaced by misdreavus?). Either way it’s an interesting concept, and I can imagine the pokedex entry now: “Born from the souls of fetuses who were eaten in-utero by their siblings. Since they feel they were destined to be twins, they find each other shortly after death and fuse together so that they’ll never be alone again.”

7/10 not the most original design but damn we had a shortage of ghost types back in the day

Girafarig

Girafarig is one of those pokemon that I always wanted to be more competitively viable because I think it has a unique design and could fill a cool niche. I like that the final design has the tail as an evolutionary measure and that there’s a smaller brain in it, just like some real life creatures. That said, we really missed out on getting a face full of evil uniraffe in the backsprite. Man, this is a real tough choice.

7/10 let’s keep girafarig as is and try out this concept on a different mon

Smeargle

This version of him seems a bit more…simian than his final, kinda canine design. Not sure if I dig it. Also, have you noticed that Gen 2 felt obligated to have a ditto/mew type mon that could mimic all the other mons? I feel like this concept gets revisited every so often and GameFreak thinks we’re none the wiser.

5/10 flesh beret just isn’t okay

Coin Kitty

So I know I said I’m against baby pokemon on principle, but the fact that this thing never saw the light of day upsets me so much. It’s so. fucking. CUTE.

10/10 go back in time and replace skitty with this

Betty Boop’s best friend

I get the feeling that this dark type cat got recycled into the purrloin line, but this one is way cooler imo. It references the old adage of “belling the cat” and I think that this pokemon line could have had some really cool sound-based signature moves (sorta similar to the whismur or jangmo-o lines).

9/10 not feeling the bipedal thing, but still a really neat concept I’d like to see

Luna

Again, I love the idea of a pokemon based on a fable. I can see why this particular design didn’t get used, given how simple it is and how closely it resembles umbreon if you just glance at it, but I’d love to see this revisited.

7/10 spruce up the design a bit and get back to me

Politoed’s wild ride

So when I first met politoed I felt he was a bit too…cutesy? Like the rosy cheeks were a bit much. This guy feels a bit more like he belongs in the poliwag line, though he doesn’t look like he’d be as bouncy.

6/10 might replace existing politoed design, might not

Slowking

Though I prefer slowbro as my yadon evo of choice, slowking is pretty awesome in his own right. Not a big fan of the clown ruffle, but honestly it’s kind of a minor setback all things considered. 

7/10 remember how he could randomly talk in the 2nd pokemon movie? That was fucked up.

Unknown

All of these cool, unsued beta designs, and this one gets to stay in?

1/10 don’t talk to me right now, GameFreak

Ledyba

It’s ledyba. One of the bug types I’m actually not really all that into. Pretty sure this is the sprite actually used in Gold.

4/10 fine just not for me

I see you

Ledian’s deal as a superhero is kinda cool, even if I don’t particularly care for the actual design. And I gotta say, it’s preferable to the ever-watching eyes of this thing. Those stars aren’t natural; they’re tattoos for each trainer its killed.

3/10 I feel like I need to go lie down

My Little Shetland Pony

Clearly this is intended to be a ponyta baby form, and while I commend the idea of a foal version (or maybe a Shetland or something?), you may notice that there is very, very little to set this pre-evo apart from ponyta. Like it and and rapidash aren’t exactly the most daring design-wise, so stripping it to the essentials doesn’t really work.

5/10 this is cute as all hell but it has no reason to exist

Espeon

Though I get shit all the time for liking espeon the least out of all the eeveelutions, I do still think the design is neat, and the fact that it draws from the nekomata myth is fascinating. Backsprite is a bit janky in the hips department–yet another unrealistic beauty standard, amirite ladies?

7/10 I personally don’t think there are any bad eeveelutions

Umbreon!

My absolute favorite Gen 2 pokemon! Not many changes between this and the final design, though I will say that this one looks a lot more terrifying–the hole eyes are worse than the red ones somehow. Still, love.

10/10 listen this is my personal rating

Alolan Shellder

This one is so fascinating to me. It’s obviously the chompy boi from slowbro and slowking, which in the pokedex is referred to as a shellder, but perhaps this is a unique evolution that only happens when it disconnects from the slowpoke? I am really upset this wasn’t actually used in the game, because getting to have this thing on the same team as slowpoke, slowbro, and slowking would have been like when Banjo-Tooie introduced the mechanic that let Banjo and Kazooie split up.

10/10 give me, dammit!

Garbage Pail Kid

Again with the baby form for a line that already is known for extremely simple designs. Grimer and muk are literally just piles of slime of differing sizes. (Shut up, Alolan forms weren’t a thing til later.) So basically this baby form is fucking adorable, and I’m loving the thing that could be a nose but I’m choosing to interpret as a mouth with a single tooth. It’s just that…who needs this?

7/10 cute, but not necessary by any stretch of imagination

Are ya feelin’ lucky, punk?

Okay, so this beta is a) way cooler than remoraid ended up being, and b) makes the evolution line make SO MUCH more sense. I can definitely see why it was changed, especially since censor-happy America was a legit market by that point. And I guess the revolver barrel part of the design still persisted in Gen 2, but still.

5/10 booo censorship!

TANK!

Octillary’s name also makes way more sense with the original tank design. I mean I can kinda see why this changed, but like…Digimon was over there with a creature in the anime just literally called Tankmon who shoots shells at elementary schoolers so I don’t fucking know. 

7/10 I like octillary as is, but this is a much more interesting design

WWE fan

Okay so real talk, I am not the biggest fan of tyrogue’s design, but what was even going on here? What’s with the frog hat? Is it a safety helmet? The general hitmonlee body shape combined with the baby boxing gloves for hitmonchan was pretty cool, but this is not something I’d look at and think “Yes, this will grow up to be a humonoid fighting type.”

5/10 it’s…cute? I guess I just don’t see what’s going on here really

shaga;lsdkfhahdgajspd[f

NO. JUST NO. THERE ARE TOO MANY THINGS HAPPENING HERE, TOO MANY LIMBS, TOO MANY EYES, JUST NO. HITMONTOP ENDED UP BEING SILLY BUT AT LEAST IT WASN’T THIS MANGLED BODY HORROR NONSENSE.

0/10 for reminding me of claydol and my own mortality

Pupper

This is going to come as a surprise, but I’m glad they didn’t introduce a baby form of growlithe. The growlithe and arcanine line includes 2 of my top 3 pokemon ever and as cute as this is I don’t think it would fit aesthetically. It looks like a spaniel that doesn’t match the shisa vibe of the growlithe line. That said, I would love to see it as a first form for a different line of perhaps…ground type doggos?

9/10 please give us some floppy ear dog designs, GameFreak! new doggos!

Like, nya

I do think the hoppip line (except for the last evo) is pretty cute, and this one reminds me a bit of an in-training digimon so I’m liking it. That said, I think the designs we got were better.

6/10 cute but like existing hoppip

Gardnyar

Again, prefer Skiploom.

5/10 not a fan of the flower for some reason

Nyancat theme plays in the distance

So I like this better than jumpluff personally, even if the other is probably a more unique design.

5/10 jumpluff’s limbs bother me, but lbr I was never going to train one anyway

New this Easter

Mr. Mime, I think we can all agree, is an unsettling design. That’s its whole appeal, really. Mime Jr. is cute enough I guess, but this is a tiny clown egg that looks like it’s learning to ice skate for the first time!

6/10 get your derpy clown nose out of here, Mime Jr.

Agatha’s apprentice

Smoochum is…well, she is. She’s kinda cute, and I think I prefer the finished design to this one since it looks way too similar to grown up jynx. Plus it raises some uncomfortable questions about it being born with ganguro make-up and hair (in a style that looks like E4 Agatha’s for some reason). This smoochum looks like it’d be taken out to sit alone at the bar in the club while wearing booty shorts that read “Mama’s Lil’ Bitch” across the back.

4/10 this makes me uncomfortable, and the hair is too close to Agatha’s

Which way to the Chao Garden?

Elekid is one of few baby pokemon I like, but hot damn this thing is adorable. It looks like a tiny, wingless bee with a halo.

7/10 can this be recycled as something else?

Bart Simpson

Really what keeps me from fully embracing the magmar line is largely the fact that they all have butts on their heads. These spikes are way more appealing to me, and so I would have loved having this one in the game.

8/10 is it still too late to redesign magby?

Bellossom

Not too many changes from the beta. I am digging the shoujo sparkles going on around her, haha.

6/10 not a big bellossom fan but a well-design pokemon nonetheless

Audrey III

Nope, I don’t like this, no sir. Where would this even go in the evo line? Is it supposed to be an alternative to victreebel? Cause this isn’t much better, guys.

1/10 I will give it one point since it looks like it could cut a rug on the dance floor

Miltank

A good, solid pokemon I’m pretty fond of (once I got over my salt from the Whitney battle). I like her as a female counterpart to tauros. Nothing too astounding but still fun and cute.

8/10 

Fire Seal

I feel like there’s folklore here, but my tired brain isn’t coming up with anything at the moment, sadly. Not a really detailed design but those tend to be more my favorites anyway. Trying to figure out what this was replaced by in the final game but I’m having a tough time figuring it out.

7/10 we have a lot of seals, but this is the only FIRE seal

Delibird

I see we chose the path with more subtlety in the end.

4/10 not really a big fan of delibird

Hanshin Hopeful

Okay, I know I said earlier that the screaming pile of goo was my favorite, but this line is also my favorite out of these beta designs. This one upsets me because this would have been such a great cultural addition! Osaka (represented by Goldinrod City in the games) has a baseball team called the Hanshin Tigers, which everyone in the area is a fervent fan of. Not only is this unbearably cute, it could have been hanging out in like a little baseball stadium area or something in or around Goldinrod. 

10/10 how could you leave this out?!

Nandeyanen!!

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Why did I not get this?! The Akihabara of Osaka is even called “DenDen Town” (Electric Town)!

10/10 we’ve missed our chance and now amends cannot be made

Talk to the wing

Is this supposed to be a farfetch’d evolution?! It doesn’t make a ton of sense aside from the waterfowl connection, but like…how pissed would you be if you were farfetch’d? This is kinda cool. I’m not super into swans or anything, but the masquerade/crime fighter mask is a neat detail.

5/10 I could see this being used interestingly, even if I’d probably not use it

Hitori Kakurenbou

I love this concept. Look at this! I know it was basically recycled for shuppet’s line, but this is so much more hardcore. Now this is a pokemon that can use curse appropriately.

10/10 personally like this one better than shuppet, if I’m being honest

Hsien-ko

This is the most Chinese pokemon since arcanine, oh my god. It’s a panda jiangshi. A panda jiangshi! Imagine it hopping after you adorably, ready to leech life you to death.

9/10 it’s not as cute as the pre-evolution, but still–panda jiangshi!!!

Murkrow

Not a lot of changes going on here either, aside from the more obvious witch’s hat design. Unsure if I like this one better or regular murkrow.

7/10 good flappy friend

*uncomfortable cough*

Blissey’s design is a bit too busy and frilly for my tastes, but it’s certainly a lot more acceptable than this. I get what they were going for: a heart on top of its head to represent healing and whatnot, but it just came out so…so yonic in nature that I have to wonder about the person responsible for this design.

1/10 not entirely awful but good lord

Scisor

Here’s the boi, only this time with eyes on his little crab claws! It’s cute but later got used for hydregion instead, and I dunno, I kind of prefer scisor as is. Still think scyther looks cooler, but a good strudy boi.

6/10 for the puppet shows it could give to entertain all the baby forms on this sprite sheet

Pinsir Noh Pinching

Here’s your fave, anon! You’re right that it seems to have a blank Noh-like mask on its face, as if a huge pinching bug wasn’t terrifying enough for you. That said, I kind of like the really creepy vibe, and poor pinsir got left in the dirt by his rival scyther once Gen 2 hit and gave scyther an evolution but nothing for his clampy comrade.

6/10 we could still get a pinsir evolution, guys

Houndour!

As you might expect of me, the houndour line is a close second to umbreon for Jess’s Favorite Gen 2 Pokemon. It combines two types I love, fire and dark, into this edgy but adorable package–what could I not love about it? This design is actually even better than the final one, because look at that sick-ass spine highlighting the ribs that got left in!

10/10 you cannot half ass edge; that misses the point

Houndoom!

Houndoom, meanwhile, looks pretty much as I remember him in Gold. And there’s nothing wrong with that–his design is fucking amazing. Man, kids, back in the metagame in Gen 2, houndoom was firmly in the top tier. Ah, I remember those days…

10/10 like a shark, houndoom has passed through decades without major tinkering to its evolutionary design

Baby yeti

Long before froslass burst onto the scene, this little bundle of deceptively charming horror could have been the first ice/ghost type. Yes, yes, it’s very adorable upon initial inspection, but once you look a bit deeper, you notice that the pokemon itself is actually black as night, with two piercing Jawa eyes, and the happy fur coat is another creature that’s been skinned and put on like a hoodie. Amazing.

10/10 I’ll take four

Wampa

I started on Star Wars references in the last entry and I gotta keep it going. Anyway, the evolution of tiny, arctic Buffalo Bill up there is even more fearsome, with claws and pupils! It’s even somehow found a way to make its fur covering evolve with it, having it sprout huge fangs (yeah I know, adults probably hunt larger creatures for clothing, but let me have this).

10/10 this so should have been a thing

Pon de Lion

I wonder if perhaps this design was meant to be an alternate form or evolution of porygon, or if this was an entirely different species based on toys (presumably to pad out the number of steel types). It’s an interesting idea, certainly, but I 100% get why this design got scrapped–it was a lawsuit from Mr. Donut waiting to happen.

Ugh

Did you know that horses produce 10 gallons of saliva a day? I now do thanks to Nate quizzing us over vacation last weekend to see if we could tell the difference between real animals and pokemon based on factoids. Now, lickilicky was not a new evolution I embraced with open arms, but man, it could have been so much worse.

2/10 I can’t say there’s no appeal (that mustache is great) but it just looks slimy and no thanks

Steelix

It’s steelix, unchanged from this beta to the final game.

7/10 I just think it’s neat

Sunken Master

I would like kingdra so, so much more if this is what it looked like.

9/10 this is goddamn cool and no one can convince me otherwise

Shadow the Edgedog

I’m not gonna lie, I fucking love this stupid design. It’s an electric dog with super sayain hair. 

10/10 fuck you, I do what I want

Oscar Myer

Do I find this design cute? Yes. Do I personally like it more than entei’s? Yes. Do I think it’s a better design than entei? No. It’s a bit too plain to really give off that legendary feel, but for me? I’d totally take this in a game. Also at least the last two have actually looked like dogs. The Legendary “Dogs” we got were a tiger, a lion/bear hybrid, and whatever the hell suicune is supposed to be.

8/10 I am a simple woman with simple needs

Jen Kira

I see people likening this design to Nina Tucker, but I actually don’t see that. It looks more to me like a special edition My Little Pony toy from the 80s released to promote The Dark Crystal. I dig it, even if it’s my least favorite of the three OG doggos.

8/10 if only some of the pizzazz of this design was afforded to fiery boi up there and we’d be onto something

Rook

This weasel/otter type thing is really cute, and perhaps was a concept idea for what later became sentret? I’d say I would want to see it again, but I kind of get the feeling we already did get the concept revived in the mienfoo line.

6/10 glad we got to see this one again

Ho-oh

Doesn’t seem too different from the sprite in the final game, and still a good design. That said though, I’m noticing that there’s no lugia in these beta sprites. What the fuck is that?!

7/10 got bros over this ho(-oh)

Togepi

This little bugger was introduced so early in the anime that I’m not surprised that its design was firmed up by the time the demo came out. Togepi’s okay I guess, but again I don’t really tend to like baby pokemon and I got kind of over-exposed to it in the anime.

6/10 cute but not a fave

Snubble

SNUB PARTY!! Snubs has the dubious honor of being the only dog pokemon I actively dislike. I like granbull so I can put up with it temporarily to get it to evolve, but this does a lot of things on my Dislike Checklist: aggressively pink, check; clown ruffle, check; appears to be wearing a dress, check.

4/10 not a fan

Boscoe

This early version of aipom looks like Marsupilami if it had been created by the Fleischer brothers. Something about this design just isn’t Right, but I can’t put my finger on it. I think it’s the 1930s American animation style face combined with walking on all fours? Either way it creeps me out.

3/10 though aipom is a very middle-of-the-road pokemon for me, it’s a helluva lot better than this abomination

Leafeon Prime

If you had asked us kid pokemon fans back in the days of Gen I what pokemon we’d most like to see in the future, I imagine “grass type eeveelution” was near the top for many of them. It just made sense–you had the leaf stone just sitting around, not reacting to your eevee, and it was so blatantly conspicuous. I had my own grass type eeveelution design I’d made called “Thorneon”, the design of which I might share at some point, and I was far from the only one.

So yeah, I’d have appreciated this a LOT in Gen 2. I was disappointed it wasn’t introduced in Gen 2. However, promises of a grass type eeveelution in Gen 4 got me to finally pull the trigger on getting a DS to play Diamond and Pearl, and that turned out to be an execellent decision. So maybe it was better that they kept this idea incubating for a bit longer.

10/10 I like leafeon and I also like this design–particularly like the vine bits that look like scars

And so there you have it! All 100 beta sprites reveiwed by yours truly. 

Hope it was worth the wait, anon!