#birch tree fartman

[lexosaurus]

say what u want about birch tree hartman but he really did murder his own protagonist again just for nickelodeon’s marketing department and if that’s not going above and beyond in the workplace then i don’t know what is 😤 😤

[dotsz]

gonna reject butch hartman by giving all the dp characters (except a select few) brown eyes 

[dannyphandump]

butch hartman

[kinglazrus]

Yo.

Young.

[gateway-2000]

thought you wrote birch fartman and got upset bc how dare u disrepsect birch trees like that XD

LOOOOLLL no birch trees are beautiful and perfect, butch h@rtman can eat ass though

[ghostsray]

I remember I followed this blog just bc I remember Danny Phantom fondly and liked your content. Now I have witnessed two fandom characters be created relatively quickly and people make fuck of Bitch Hartman more than every before. And I am living for it. I also love how the immediate response to new content is "fuck you Butch, it's mine now and I made it Better(TM)"

hey, it's not our fault the phandom has better writers than mister birch tree fartman 😔

[a-danny-phantom-fanatic]

Why hasn't anyone re-textured the phantoms in minecraft so that Danny Phantom from hit early 2000s tv show Danny Phantom can swoop down and kill you

Some other fun ideas:

Endermen now have Birch tree Fartman's face

Cows and sheep are now Sam and Tucker

Lamas are Mr Lancer

Zombies and other hostile mobs are just ever other ghost from Danny phantom

[that-dumbass-on-a-horse]

Ngl, kinda mad i cant post cursed dannos to birch tree fartman's comment section on Instagram

[phandomphightclub]

Phinal Round Results: Prelude 

The Denny’s was absolutely packed.   The last time Danny had seen so many ghosts in one place was when Pariah Dark invaded, which automatically gave him an uneasy feeling despite the fact that he was in the ghost zone.  He couldn’t complain about them congrating in their own home.

“Geez, you think they’ll run out of pancakes?”  Tucker asked, staying close by Danny’s side.

“Tucker, I think pancakes are the least of our worries right now,” Sam said while pointing through the crowd to a familiar cape-wearing, pointy-haired, Packers-obsessed ghost.

“Vlad?”  Danny hissed under his breath, ducking under a fidget-spinner-shaped table.  The ghost sitting there peeked down, her blue hair flickering as a group of tiny blob ghosts swam in and out of it.  Danny was afraid she would call them out, or ask them to move or something, but she just smiled awkwardly before going back to eating her cheesecake.

“Okay, I get all the other ghosts, but what’s Vlad doing here?”  Tucker asked.

“My money’s on him bribing the Denny’s workers into capturing you for him,” Sam whispered conspiratorially.

“That can’t be right.”  Danny frowned.  “Tali said they don’t usually get paid here.”

“Which makes them even more likely to accept bribes, right?”  Tucker said.

“This whole place has been fishy from the start, Danny,” Sam added.

“Okay, but come on.  Do you really think Vlad would sponsor a meme tournament?  He’s, like, fifty.  I bet he doesn’t even know what a meme is.”  

Tucker shrugged.  “Maybe he thought it would connect him to the hip youth of today, who knows.”

“Look, we still don’t have any evidence other than that he’s here right now.  For all we know, he could be about to get kicked out.”

Sam peeked out from behind the table to where Vlad was ordering food at the counter.  He slapped down a stack of money that made Ectolight’s eyes widen to the size of plates.

“Yeah, somehow that doesn’t seem likely,” Sam replied.

As they were in the middle of deciding what to do about Vlad, a ghost hovered down under the table with them.  They had their red hair pulled up and held a cup of coffee with the Ghostbucks logo on the side, despite the fact that they were in a Denny’s.  

“Hey, sorry I’m late, I just got hired here.  Can I get you guys some food? Artsy’s really insisting people try his cheesecake.”

Danny blinked at the ghost, while Sam gave the ghost her best go-away-you-don’t-belong-here glare.

“Sorry, we’re not really here to eat right now.”

“Yes we are!”  Tucker corrected.  “I’ll take some of that cheesecake.”

The ghost – whose cup said Going-Dead, which might have been their name – scribbled down the order before flying off.

“Guess they’re so packed they’re treating people sitting on the floor as legit customers,” Danny said.  “But anyway, about Vlad–”

“Ah yes, what about me, little badger?”

“GAH!”  Tucker shouted in surprise when Vlad appeared, having to crouch to fit under the table with them.  It was such an unusual sight to see Vlad literally stoop to his level that Danny had to laugh.

“I was just saying I thought Denny’s didn’t serve frootloops,” he snarked.

“Ha ha, yes, back at it with the quips again.  I’m sure your petty humor has impressed the fools that frequent here.”  Vlad seemed to roll his eyes, but it was difficult to tell when they were flooded with red.  “Now tell me child, have you heard of the ghost they call Birch Tree?”

Danny froze at that.  “What about him?”

Sam discreetly elbowed him in the ribs, as if he shouldn’t have said that.

“Ah, so you do know.  Tell me, is it true that he was vanquished here a few days ago?”

Danny didn’t know what Vlad had to do with Birch Tree Fartman, but his guess was nothing good.  If that was why he was hanging around the Denny’s… Danny needed to get security on this, fast.  They seemed to like him; surely they would listen to him that Vlad was bad news.

“We don’t have to tell you anything,” Sam said coldly.

“And you can’t fight me here,” Danny remembered with a smirk.  “All fights have to be taken out back.  In the ring.  So good luck getting answers out of me that way.”

Vlad chuckled.  “We’ll see about that.”  He tried to stand, but knocked his head on the table on his way up.  “Butter biscuits!”  he cursed before flying off.

“That… was weird,” Tucker said.  “You don’t think he’s after the Reality Gauntlet, do you?”

Danny smacked his forehead.  He hadn’t thought of that, but it was the next logical conclusion.  Even if Vlad didn’t know about it yet, he was sure to learn if he kept poking around.

“C’mon, we’ve gotta let security know before–”

“Before what?” Tali asked.  Tucker shouted again.  Sheesh, Danny knew he was in the ghost zone, but not having his ghost sense to warn him when they snuck up on him was a pain.

“Vlad’s here,” he said as Tali settled cross-legged an inch above the floor.  Probably a good idea, considering he wasn’t sure he trusted the janitorial staff here.

“Vlad?  Oh yeah, we know.  Got a hundred bucks out of him.  Do you know how many pancakes we can buy with that?”  She grinned.

“Look, forget about pancakes!”  Sam grabbed the crossed straps over her coat.  “He’s going to want the Reality Gauntlet!”

Tali just laughed.  “It’s great that you’re so concerned, but don’t worry about it.  Our weapons manager Phantasmapurple9 has it locked up tight.  We’re not as stupid as we look here, y’know.”

Sam still scowled like she wanted to protest, but Danny knew better.  When Tali didn’t want to discuss something, it was over.  Almost like she was writing the script and wanted him to shut up so she could get onto the actual Phight or something.

Speaking of which, a loud guitar riff began playing from the stadium out back.

“Now come on, cheer up!  You don’t want to miss the pre-phight show!  Ember agreed to play for us, and we’ve got some other sweet surprises coming up!”

Vlad, and now Ember again?  Danny might seriously come to regret his curiosity about the end of the Phight.

Still, he let Tali lead him, Sam, and Tucker out from under the table and into the stadium.

None of them heard one of Vlad’s duplicates chuckle from his hiding spot on the ceiling.

“A weapons manager?  Well, I’ll just have to pay them a little visit.”

[all-hail-trash-prince]

Alright guys

I know we refuse to say his name, but personally I think we can do better than birch tree fartman. Let's get creative, pham

[dotsz]

wow i can’t believe maddie the cat made danny phantom. what an inspiration

[logicalghost]

Tumblr bot really calling out birch tree fartman

[lexosaurus]

[lexosaurus]

Aight fam this Saturday evening at 8pm EST I’m gonna do two things:

1. Live react to the Birch Tree’s graduation video

2. I’m gonna do a reading of Laz’s orb crackfic

You can come for one or both of those, up to you! We’ll probably do some sort of fun drinking game with Elmer’s episode, and I am very excited to finally get to read about orbs as I’ve heard the fic is incredible.

So come through if you’re around!

[lexosaurus]

submitted by @dathomestucklover

No why does my name share a screen with this face this is an atrocity of epic proportions how dare

[lexosaurus]

Did you know that if you sneeze with your eyes open you’ll astral project to the house of butch Hartman himself

oh god i fucking hope so