#but i have 0 respect for them
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Well, I finally finished Dragon Age: Friendship is Magic and that is *my* biggest regret.
#datv spoilers#great game - nothing but respect for most of the game devs (even if the music was hella bland)#but the writing was atrocious on all fronts imo - plot worldbuilding codices dialogue#and for all this yammering on about āgreat stories are about changeā I'm still 0/2 for the rebellions I wanted to see in this universe#world's been sanitized to hell and back#(and yet funnily enough they still found the time to shit on the Dalish by having them whine about their āresponsibilityā for the gods)#i did really like all the lore reveals (except the ILLUMINATI) but hated how they factored into the game plot-wise#there were no believable repercussions regarding faith and society which is just a crime#plus the execution via fetch quest was lame imo#current Thedas deserved better#and this was the first Dragon Age game where I just wanted my companions to stfu more#(grown-ass adults telling me *to my face* they wonāt focus on stopping the apocalypse unless I fix all of their shit)#(are you so serious right now)#eh well now I'm finally free to mourn properly#I still love the Dragon Age that was#but in the spirit of change I guess I need to accept that my time as a fan of the franchise post Trespasser is done š#veilguard critical
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hey if ur in the midwest or more specifically missouri hereās some websites iāve found helpful for finding native seeds and live plants (theyāre not all in missouri or the midwest specifically but have some seeds from around here too bc truly human made borders are fake and plants go wherever they want so):
wildseedproject.net
mowildflowers (this websites cool bc theyāll deliver live plants to you if you live nearby enough and they also go to different places around missouri all year to sell plants at festivals or events or whatnot)
nativewildflowers.net
swallowtailgardenseeds.com
strictlymedicinalseeds.com
toadshade.com
treeseeds.com
ouriquesfarm.com
putnamhillnursury.com
sugarcreekgardens.com
prairiemoon.com
seedvilleusa.com (also on etsy)
mybutterflylady on etsy
everwilde.com
and if u ever need help or info or whatever about plants or even find a place to exchange plants and buy some on a forum check out daveās garden
if anyone knows any other websites and wants to add them on iād totally appreciate that c: !
(i will update this with more websites too if i come across any)
#seeds#native seeds#native plants#native plant gardening#native gardening#pollinator garden#native garden#wildflowers#native wildflowers#wildflower garden#gardening#wildflower gardening#missouri native plants#missouri#midwest native plants#midwest plants#not all of them are native seed focused but they do have places you can find them#and if you're looking for specific seeds id check out some of these maybe#ourique's farm is more based south east but i got some trumpet vine seeds from there so :0 yaknow#its what im saying... borders are fake and plants arent about to start respecting them#updated the mowildflowers link since they switched sites. still have yet to add all the other sites ive found#ig i want to make a comprehensive list and also vet as many as i can but most of them are small businesses so i trust them
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ngl, the more I think about it, the more I feel conflicted over how people sexualize my characters.
On the one hand, it would be silly to deny that I don't go out of my way to create aesthetically pleasing/attractive characters because I love to draw what I enjoy, and I love it when people simp for them.
But on the other hand, sometimes it does bother me that people are so fixated on sex and their own arousal that they miss important lore/plot information that I get a bit frustrated
#txt#i dont really mind that people missed the fact that powers had horns but i do have issues with people thinking the scene would lead up to#sex??? lili had a very clearly shocked face but people were expecting them to just. have sex and fall in love#twitter and instagram is pretty respectful to my works but i think webtoons and especially tiktok (good lord tiktok) is where people are#just. like they're not even paying attention because they wanna fuck my ocs lol#its a lot of work to try to give these incredibly short comics decent pacing and dialogue and it sucks when people ignore gestures or#verbal communication because they saw powers muscled chest and went 'oh yeah. its sex time'#i started posting my bugtopia comics to tiktok and these people are so goddamn obsessed with sexualizing everything that i read comments#where people were expecting arachne to peg her FOUR YEAR OLD SON#and its like. hey guys. im glad you enjoy my work but i dont like how you cannot perceive my characters as anything#but something to whack off to#anyways i dont see myself discussing this on twitter because unfortunately people have 0 fucking reading comprehension lol#to this day i get rude messages accusing me of hating people who enjoy lesbian media or finding my characters hot#because i asked people to not call me a fucking f*ggot when i draw to men kissing
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do other people really enjoy being condescended to or something.
I feel like I see so much shit like this, and like, if someone told me they're proud of me, there's at least a 70% chance I will simply glare at them and do my best to avoid them henceforth.
like I get it in a kink context but do people really want to be treated like subs in real life?? do I just have issues?
#m#in my head I feel like you don't tell someone you're proud of them if you actually respect them#they have to be under you in some way for you to be in a position to impart such judgement#and if you see me that way I don't want to be around you#but if others feel differently about receiving it then I might try it?#I will continue to have 0 interest in receiving it though
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the problem is Iām such a staunch believer in the slow buildup, the earnest enjoyment of meandering through terrible story decisions and weird nothing subplots to build up into a conclusion that explodes out from all that as fantastic storytelling and intrigue based on all that buildup, such that it makes it necessary to get through all that or youāre missing something essential, that Iām also a terrible person to talk to about what makes a story good. I can tell you plenty of what actually makes something tight and well-written and all that technical speak but how could anyone take my advice when I so so so love excruciatingly long unnecessarily complex fumbling and weird nonsense that spirals into, inexplicably, weird nonsense that makes you cry your lungs sore
#kipspeak#my point being everyone is too mean about post arr. sure fālhammin did not have to be our problem but everything after that was like#meandering. Thinking. building. unnerving. they were cooking and i RESPECT their dubious food#i love homestuck and long audio dramas and dnd podcasts and indecipherable fancomics and lego ninjas and khux and im starting to love ffxiv#all incredibly long and made with passion and kinda weird and hard to get into#said with THE MOST affection in my heart#I could structure a kids show and I know how to write for tv but in my heart of hearts#I just want to write an impossibly long absurdity epic that is weird and a little bad and also makes you feel shrimp emotions#ALSO I feel 0% bad for not respecting ur theory or opinion if you havenāt played khux/dr/recoded I donāt feel bad about it at all Iām right#understand whatās going on in them and Iāll respect your theories. itās like comics enjoyers but less chaotic#donāt let me get into comics. superheroes never really catch my interest but if you let me get into comics Iād explode#āit gets really goodā is a genuine way to interest me#also donāt let me get into anime that do this. I already watched a thousand episodes of detective Conanā#maybe itās a careful balance of weird and Good Storytelling Seeds. it has to have internal logic for one; and it has to have a structure#It has to be leading somewhere. and I want to see where it leads#we are GOING through the disney worlds. all of them. they are COOKING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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iām pretty neutral about dirkjake, like i donāt care wether they do/not end up together. that being said, I LOVE, how they are written. like i feel like queer characters/relationships either arenāt allowed to have drama, or arenāt allowed to have fun drama. but dirkjake is the closest thing homestuck has to straight romance drama. like they are the finchel of homestuck. we need more queer couples who have heterosexual drama
#like even though i donāt really ship dirkjake reading about them was fun#i just didnāt care about the outcome LOL#like i love how messy they are#they are living the straight drama experience#and that doesnāt usually happen with queer characters#also i donāt mean it like they are written straight#i just mean in tv shows straight couples are constantly given fun drama#while gay characters are like āhereās deep rooted trauma also since youāre the only queer couple you have to be the good exampleā#if that makes sense#but dirkjake is really just going through nonsense the whole time and i respect that#megās incoherent thoughts#homestuck#dirkjake#<- kinda :0#dirk strider#jake english
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i feel like everyone on here saying that even if rhaenyra peacefully took the throne daemon would definitely cause a civil war to make sure one of his sons succeeds her are forgetting that (a) daemon's eldest daughter was going to be queen of westeros one day and his grandchild through her would be heir to the throne (b) daemon is like 15 years older than rhaenyra so barring her death in childbirth or some unexpected accident she would probably outlive him anyway
#i DO think that even if rhaenyra had become queen peacefully there would def be issues involving jace succeeding her#but i don't really think daemon would realistically be the instigator i think it would be the rest of westeros#rhaenyra is also the mom of aegon and viserys too and she would 100% have raised them to respect jace as the heir#been seeing Much Discourse about this on the internet lately for some reason and that's my 2 cents#pie says stuff#hotd#house of the dragon#also in the book daemon and rhaenyra were married for like 10 years and there's 0 implication there was succession drama between them
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Actually I donāt think Iāll ever forgive how Washās disability and subsequent ācureā was handled.
#beans speaks#personal#rvb#red versus blue#the Carolina and wash plotline was a lil ehhh bc I donāt think they gave Carolinaās attitude abt his new limits a healthy foil#like it would have been see easy to have Dr Grey or Wash himself parallel her fear and frustration#and it could have gotten into such character depth too!#shine a light on her past trauma with losing people/them getting hurt to show that a lot of her perspective is ultimately selfish#which isnāt āwrongā itās normal considering what sheās been through but she needs to respect washās autonomy!#I havenāt seen 0 but. I heard. they gave him a. a fucking AI and it was all yippee heās fine#as though that doesnāt go against like a major personal boundary of Wash (not a big fan of ai in his head) while also ignoring the whole.#yeah we just have to deal with this. itās not fun and itās gonna suck sometimes but it doesnāt change our love or respect.#sorry if I sound insane I also havenāt watched that season in a while and Iām. a lil. wooo tonight yāknow#like as a disabled person w a progressive condition that is stopping me from doing things I used to be able to do#and will continue to limit my abilities as the years go by#it makes me wanna tear someone limb from fucking limb
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My friend who plays our Solo just sent this to our Cyberpunk group chat cos she wants our DM to implement Stickball...
Like dude??? You are currently suffering from cyber psychosis???
Is this really the time to be playing Stickball???
^ and this sounds like the most unsafe game ever. This is literally a game designed to trigger our Solo???
I (as my Netrunner) am 100% not going to let Solo play this, but my friend who plays our Rockerboy started arguing with me like "fresh air is good for his psychosis"
What fresh air? Where? The air in Night City is so polluted >:T
And what about this issue her Rockerboy caused:
Should we seriously be playing Stickball now??? What about the shard??
But our Rockerboy is like "I will challenge the fixer to a game of Stickball to get your stuff and the shard back"
I cannot believe our DM is allowing this >:U
I cannot believe I'm trying to distance myself from my sponsor/adoptive dad for this. I should just go back to Arasaka. At least Arasaka took care of me and gave me dignity and respect
My Netrunner's big bro will be so mad if he finds out š
Like wtf. How did the situation devolve into Rockerboy, Solo, and Solo2 forming a Stickball team??
These are the 3 people with the lowest Intelligence stats in the party... Do they even know how to play Stickball...
Exec is the smartest but he doesn't want to get involved with this nonsense, and as my Netrunner, I'm inclined to agree with him >_>
Nomad said she'll be their coach but I'm not sure if she knows how to play Stickball too...
I have 0 confidence in their team winning anything >_>. I'm going to go make a backup plan with Exec >_>
At least our DM said that playing Stickball counts as therapy towards helping Solo regain his Humanity points >_>
#I swear this party is a mess#I have 0 confidence in this team cos Rockerboy is leading them and he does not respect any rules#it's like a dumbass leading 2 bigger dumbasses#no offence to Solo cos he's like my little bro but his critical thinking abilities are 0#everytime he gets into trouble it's because he followed Rockerboy's lead >:T#personal#cyberpunk red
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Wait omg..... Jessica Cruz probably did rifle... my specialized sports knowledge coming in CLUTCH
Okay so I barely practiced and made it to regionals like once so im NOT the expert here but uh headcanoning that Jess did air rifle when she was a teen. Like idk if it would be as part of a team like with a high school (what I'm familiar with) vs like an individual thing vs like a travel/competitive team (it depends on the sitch in her area growing up) but she definitely went to some national matches (probably including JOs/JO quals like i think she was GOOD). I think she probably would have quit competitively following a bad shot at nationals (relatable) along with anxiety about competition (ALSO relatable) but still kept up with shooting casually for fun and relaxation and to hang out with friends etc.
She definitely would have shot smallbore competitively too but I never did that bc I was lazy so idk to much abt it competitively
#and by bad shot i mean a 0#it hurts me to even think abt doing that during a match actually esp at fucking JOs#a girl on my team did that and im sure it was devastating (we never let her live it down after too) but like dang. i feel that pain#im just saying she would vibe sooooooo hard with rifle. like canonically they just said she did it but im talking air in particular#also in the panel they said six which first off. humphries bro thats TOO young ik youre trying to be impressive but youre talking abt rifle#here. if someones let their kid have a gun at 6 theres actually smth wrong with them. and not even a bb or smth wtf#ANYWAYS you guys haveeeee to understand this. jess would go so hard for rifle she would fit right in w every competitive shooter ive ever#met istg-#she would be out there on the porch 35Ā° weather in full gear mid match crying w the rest of us it would be great#wait wait shoutout to the time i had to get smth from my car and there were like 4 ppl out there crying during the middle of standing#like i literally FEEL THAT SO HARD (weve all been there) but also like... awkwarddddddd#4 is an unusually large amount though. normally its like 2 ppl at a time first relay. with more 1st relay ppl crying after than during#gosh rifle omg this is making me miss it#<<<<freshman/sophomore me would kill me for saying this btw. i HATED practicing so bad then omg#OH and Jess would be a kneeling girlie. fave position. why ? bc i said so shut up#no but bc its my favorite position (yes i know its the worst okay. im aware of all the reasons kneelings sucks and why everyone hates it.#but you know what? kneeling hates everyone equally and i respect that) no but uh yeah āļøāļøāļøāļø#top 10 posts that are 80% jargon and only i care about š#anyways this is canon to me now actually#like idc what you say she was down in the trenches (the range) w the rest of us#also ik she almost certainly would have shot paper but in my mind she practices mainly w electronic bc thats what i used (even if its super#uncommon and is only used at the nice ranges) if she was super competitive she would probably have driven to shoot electronic. lets just say#there was a paper nearby and an electronic scoring range a bit farther or smth#anyways yeah#WAIT OMG SHE DEFINITELY MET HER FRIENDS FROM HER BACKSTORY THROUGH RIFLE#and the dating drama too omg rifle drama was INSANE. like i was almost always out of the loop bc i never practiced and didnt have snapchat#but like the drama was INSANE. fucking wild. at least to my nerdy ass self. so her relationship drama makes total sense now okay babe fr#jessica cruz#blah
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new year another dude enamoured by me himself but bothering me about it
#my friend i will help you pick out a mirror#and then you just talk at it#like we all do it there is no shame in it#i just dont see why you should drag me in it#i should probably stop listening to people out of curiosity of how everyone's mind works but it would be so boring#sure it comes at a cost of people thinking they are interested in me while not asking me anything about myself#but i have been pretty good at seeing the signs early and not ignoring them lately#so i think my curiosity can continue at the cost of slight discomfort at pathetic call backs for my attention#this is unrelated to my friendships tho but some people just don't want to go down that sacred path or down the strangers/neighbours lane#which i hold great respect to#but this whole wooow you left me on delivered at 2am as i cant sleep and we are 20 and i literally just yknow went to sleep way before that#and we also just dont talk like that#like we talked late one time bc we were both studying for our term in this case#but those texts are so old same archetype different people#now i can laugh abt it tho cuz i finally see it trough a healthy perspective of why would you be pissed at a friend going to bed#and not feeling like i am being mean to a kid#0 notes to me
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I...I think I just finished this Simeon fic. Oh God. It's been too long. It will finally, finally be discharged from the elderly home for WIPs. I'll post it tomorrow :P
#it's finally over oh god#do u even realise how old this WIP is?#it's fucking senile that's what#and now it has earned its discharge!#a coupon for freedom!#a ticket to the public digital stage!#not to toot my own horn but I like how the fic turned out#I do hope I maintain that opinion when I re-read it and give it a polish if needed tho#also I'm so using the elderly home discharge + freedom coupon + ticket to the public stage figures of speech in my notes part for the fic#my brain bullshat those 3 out of nowhere and they're not bad and I gotta respect its wishes so I shall not let them go to waste#I still have so many ideas and WIPs scribbled *typed* down in the notes though and I'm displeased to say the least :D#actually stressed is more like it because bro when I tell u my fucker of a brain is NOT cooperating#now that I finished this fic the writing department is probably going to be brain dead for a couple of days BET#I scrapped a fuck ton of WIPs but alas a whole ass box of popcorn still stands tall and proud#ya having ideas u came up with centuries ago is great but how great is it when u have 0 energy 0 motivation 0 inspiration AND!#+a ded brain on overdrive#the teacup#delete later
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someone writing a negative review of the folk of the air books on goodreads: it's just so mediocre and underwhelming
me: yeah i get that
same person writing a negative review of the folk of the air books on goodreads: it's awful because it romanticizes ToXiC and aBuSiVe relat--
me: N O not like that!!
#1#2#3#4#5#it's an etl story!! the characters are supposed to hate each other!! that's the point#every reader with a single functioning braincell would understand that glorified Fae Bully/Bullying Victim who stands up to them#is usually not the start of a ~normal healthy relationship#that doesn't mean they wouldn't like to read about it in a fictional and therefore safe zone#like please. please for the love of god..... have some little imagination!!#where's the Romance? where's the pathos the high stakes the drama??#you can like your vanilla coffeeshop au/cute heartstopper printed love stories with 0 conflict just fine#leave the juicy stuff to the rest of us#like. there's a way to write dysfunctional dynamics in a way that doesn't do a disservice to the characters (especially if female)#and lets them keep their dignity and self-respect and agency#it's a fine balance but it exists#this genre of romance is usually a sort of power fantasy: toying between hate/love and forbidden feelings in a hyperidealized setting#and anyway while this is definitely an etl/Badass Girl+Bad Boy story it's also far from being#hardcore toxic problematic villain/heroine. like some of my fav ships could eat jude and cardan for breakfast lmao#there *are* problematic elements mind you. i won't deny it. but it's basically#(at least so far; maybe this whole thing gets to grow more unhealthy in the next two books)#d.ramione but what if h. were an ambitious warrior strategist and d. a literal prince somehow less awfully bigoted lol#like c h i l l. twilight was much worse#at least here the heroine gets a life and personality outside of her LI; which is more than i can say for-GUNSHOTTED#val speaks#the discourse#val rambles in the tags#txt
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Not asleep yet, I was playing DQXI earlier to work on getting all the extra outfits and now my brain is filled with thoughts of Erik. Also how dirty they did him (and everyone but the Luminary) in Act 3.
EDIT: I realized I went on a very long rant in the tags. Spoilers for the game and it's post-game content in the tags.
#i have a love/hate thing with this game#acts 1 and 2 are phenominal and i love them so so so much#act 3 however makes me so dissapointed#i generally dislike when stories use a timeline reset trope to fix all the bad stuff that happened#and i particularly HATE how the writers and devs executed that trope to make act 3 happen#the idea of reseting back to act 1 isnt inherently a bad thing#but the fact that the party eventually just gets all of their power from before the reset shortly after act 3 starts is terrible#in act 2 the player explores just how deeply each party member is affected by their respective traumas#the player stands by the party and helps them through it and make things as right as they can be#not perfect but realizing that things will never be perfect is part of the journey#with e.rik in particular he has to cope with fact he coulsnt save his sister fast enough before she was tainted by evil and greed#the player helps free his sister but he still has to live with the knowledge he couldnt be there for her when she needed him most#its painfully emotional and hits all the right notes for me#act 3 erases all of that and prevents that trauma from ever happening by giving him and his sister a storybook ending#she's saved by main protagonist privilege and now the player is best bros with e.rik for life#i have no words for just how much i hate this#its so bad that ive never actually beaten the game largely bc of it#that and my will to 100% as much of the game without going into new game+ has been sapped dry until recently#the ONLY good thing to come out of act 3 is that the l.uminary is the only person to remember everything from act 2#and now he has to live with the knowledge he is an anomaly and has 0 other people who expierenced the same trauma as him#despite those people who experienced it alongside him are still in his party#v.eronica DIED in act 2 and now shes alive again in act 3 that HAS to be terrifying to the l.uminary bc shes like a dead girl walking to hi#im getting so off topic#this is supposed to be abt e.rik#uhhhh e.rik is best boy and im somehow gonna retcon all of act 3 in my au bc its stinky bad#š” Catch Me If You Can
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see reading vol13 extra its even more obvious why fanon shj is so grating to me He Lacks Class. hes so fundamentally classless. fanon shj the kind of guy whod lick a stripe of blood from a victims cheek when actually he would just find this so dull and beneath to intimidate some dude just because. he will threaten and maim and murder but he's practical about it and wont drag it out not unless its 2 make a statement. not saying hes holding back from the sadism route bc of any moral reasons though. He Would Just Find It Boring. this guy is rly only motivated by drawing very deep lines in the sand and also being very bored. and he acts like it.
#at least pre real boyification <3 then theres the love bur i have exams tomorrow. also. bc most of the fanon shj is from shipping art#you are all really lowballing how strange and offputting you have to be to snag this freaks attention#sorry but being a regular prickly tsundere would just get you thrown out of his office#like its a disservice to hyj and him both#postag#even post real boyisms shj...#You Are All Making Him So Classless.#he knows about boundaries he makes them all the time with everyone evidently he knows his partner's. AND HE RESPECTS THEM !!!!!!#<-0 torelance for shj subjecting hyj to unwanted pda post pateuneo.#he is a gentleman i will not have you slander him for things he didnt even do. and not even frame it as slander.
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Always download backups of your favorite fics, folks
#went to ao3 to see some of my favorite ankheiji fics were deleted ;0;#(i have backups though because i download the fics i read snd plan to read relentlessly)#while it makes my heart sad i do i respect the author's choice to delete their works#just always backup the fics you love folks#that way you can always revisit them yourself if you want to read them again. it's nice to have that pdf#(or your file format of choice)#linky posts
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