#but i had to voice my thoughts somewhere
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About the Mario Bros Movie (particularly the ending):
(this is all my opinion, feel free to disagree and share your own thoughts, id love to discuss them)
1. Is anyone else upset that the final battle took place in the Real World?
Like... Idk, it just reminded me of the ending of SVTFOE in the worst ways, which, if you know you know.
I guess I just overall hate the concept of merging the Real World with a fantastical world of any kind. Mostly because I can't believe that if the Real World got a hold of a Fantastic World, it would leave it be. That Fantastic World would be abused sooooo much.
I shudder just trying to imagine what sort of crap our World would do if we ever got access to the Mushroom Power-Ups.
But also because it doesn't feel necessary? There was nothing for the brothers in the Real World, the beginning of the movie was supposed to show the viewer that. So much so, that in the end, after the battle, they return to the Game World and start living in the Mushroom Kingdom.
The only thing that did tether them to the Real World was their family.
The only reason I can think of why they chose to make the climax in Brooklyn is that B plot Mario had with his father, wanting to prove to him - and by extension, everyone else that looked down on him - that he could be great and achieve something.
And I found that particular plot point sooo unoriginal and unnecessary.
(How many times will movies have to do the "I wanna prove I can be great, I wanna do my father proud!" plot shtick until they get tired??)
But yeah, in conclusion, having the climax in Brooklyn was dumb and mostly unnecessary, except for the family plot line.
Which brings me to my 2nd question:
2. Am I the only one who thinks the movie would've been better if the brothers were orphans? Or simply, by themselves?
I feel kinda mean writing this....
But like, the family is just needless???
I honestly believe being orphans could have made their characters more interesting. (this sounds so insensitive, I'm sorry....)
It would give Luigi and Mario's powerful bond a deeper connotation, for one. It would make even more sense for Mario to be so protective of Luigi and for Luigi to be so dependent on Mario if they only had each other - they are the only ones left for the other.
(Not to say that siblings that live in a big, happy family can't have powerful bonds. That's not the case. I'm just trying to argue what I think would've been more impactful from a narrative standpoint.)
Also, it would still be able to fit with Mario's wishes of being something great.
As I said before, the only reason as to why the final showdown was in the Real World was so Mario could have closure with his family and past life - so he could have that moment of greatness for everyone (especially his dad) to see.
But for me, returning to the Real World was so unsatisfying (see 1.), that the family plot line becomes useless.
I feel like I would've liked the movie a lot more if
A) the brothers didn't have more family, growing up alone together, resulting in them having kind of a tough life when the movie starts
B) Bullet Bill destroyed the pipe instead of travelling through it, severing the connection between the worlds,
C) because the pipe that lead to the Real World had been destroyed, the final showdown happened in the Mushroom Kingdom (or the nearby forest)
D) in the aftermath of the battle, the brothers would confirm that indeed the pipe wasn't working anymore, but they wouldn't be that broken up about it, because even though they did grow up there, the Real World hadn't been very kind to them in the past, and the only thing they ever needed was each other.
And then yeah, final scene with Mario and Luigi waking up and going to work in the Mushroom Kingdom
And uh, yeah... Ta-daaaaaaaa!
That's my personal take about this movie :p
Please please pleaaaaaase if you don't agree with what I've written above feel free to counter with your own thoughts, id love to discuss (as long as it's all in good fun)
#this was thrown together really quickly#dont judge this too hard im very tired#but i had to voice my thoughts somewhere#mario movie#super mario bros#luigi#super mario bros movie#mario#super mario#mario bros#dunno if i gotta add anything else
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Bridges are Burning into my brain fu@k me
#slay the princess#black tabby games#stp#stp voices#voice of the smitten#stp voice of the smitten#stp smitten#stp voice of the cold#voice of the cold#stp cold#stp burned bridges#(extra tags with thoughts>>>)#no you don’t get it#it’s not just the burned grey dialogue#them mutually yearning over what they had collectively lost (I.e Princess and TLQ) and in turn finding solace in each other#anger and rage soon turned into understanding that they are both people hurting from losing someone/something dear to them#oughhhhhh#they’re infecting my BRAIN#Smitten finally realising and accepting that Cold is very similar to him and in turn treats him with gentleness#Cold learning to let down his ego and how to express his emotions without fear#and how he is a person that is deserving of love#OUGHHHH#END ME NOWWWW#I NEED TO GET THIS OUT SOMEWHERE#IM GOING INSANE
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Had a dream where I was talking to my older brother* to solve an issue he has by our pool & people kept beating me up and trying to drown me but my older brother just watches and keeps talking
#*i dont have a brother i was pretending to be his little sister which he didnt have#& his younger siblings were in on it & at several points I went and asked them ''Lmaooo how old was i again?? 6????'' in between the yapping#& the several attacks#every time one of those attackers appear some voice from above (/ Was it my brother?? announces the sin they represent???#Like first was pride then envy then whatever & the last was wrath and i remember getting pissed off at this#voice from somewhere then says ''Ah but was it all worth it... Look at the color... it has been dyed red...'' which ig means the pool???#I guess i was Killing them???? Are you saying its my fault I acted in self defense????? i was literally 6??? Im a minor and neurodivergent??#At one point a cop got into our house & asked me & my brother through the window (We were outside) why we had these small miniature glass#cups in our house when they're used for drugs??? And I had to go ''Yea our father use-D to work as a cop but he's no longer with us 😔 Maybe#he got them as a souvenir or something I mean his boss liked giving him stuff back then so'' while my brother was quiet the whole time#At the end it was revealed that That story was a part of a youtube playlist that i initially thought was 1 whole series made by 1 guy#but apparently these videos (Which I experienced in the same sleep session but before we got to this point) werent a series??#It was some random guys playlist theres no continuity#And my brain made a whole outro about it bc it was that big of a plot twist i guess#All those videos had something to do about women suffering. so sorry women. Not sure whos the woman suffering in the last one.#nillas
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Physical media is forever (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#Vent#I'm trying to remember the last time I made a fandom vent rather than my sona.... Probably Vargas-something#*continues to project onto Max* He really is just like me fr#Probably pretty obvious what this is in reference to - turned a bit more malicious and intentional here#Something something it's easier to be angry at a source of intention than to be sad about coincidental bad luck#I'm not about to be thankful for a bad thing happening but the fallout thereof Is interesting in its own right#Like how this probably wouldn't have crossed my mind elsewise - nor would I have started and finished it all in one big sprint#Not much else I could do except get some of the feelings Out#Ft. some of the thoughts I had - self arguments to try to minimize(?) the hurt#Especially of just recreating it since so much of it was my thoughts - Max's dreams are just his subconscious right? Haha#But when you build something over the course of years there's these subtle builds that divorce Then from Now#Not to mention whatever stimuli at the time - if Max's life coincided with specific dreams and both are never repeated#One thing that I think about a lot - ironically haha - is that you only get to experience A Thing for the first time Once#You are then forever changed even if just in some small way - an action that can never be unactioned#Even otherwise recreating the perfect set of circumstances just won't produce the same outcome#It all threads into my thoughts on Legacy as well - if what we leave behind ceases to be - if our butterfly wings are blown out#It could happen at any point - posthumously or while we're still here - and how much does that change in the long run?#It's an interestingly depressing thought haha#It's also part of why I double down on art so so so much - a language that cuts to the core of me#Every picture worth 1000 words - hopefully enough to make up for however many lost (I did a rough estimate and it would've been ~380k)#Somewhere in there are the feelings that lost their voice - were big and loud enough to immortalize in graphite on paper#Scanned and uploaded and maybe even downloaded elsewhere in the world - preserved fourfold in a way a single file on a single computer isn't#Even if one is destroyed it's somewhere else; the danger of only having one copy a kind of trust in program or physicality but no guarantee#Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts - also part of why I tag to tag limit so often I want them saved somewhere outside myself#Seems silly to talk about the art too but I have thoughts there as well haha - like of Madame Vyer asking for Dex's lighter#Dex holding Max back - to protect him from the damage while forcing him to confront it cruelty cruelty
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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew
#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention#my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day#so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain#and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music#nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool#but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul#like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently#i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything#I DIDNT KNOW#that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage#anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros#i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on#and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years#and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol#more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well#i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john#i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche#but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave#(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now#i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh#and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs#the most in the bunch almost every time as well#the beatles#p
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You know, Random Strange thought that I kept having in mind.
If the Stupid Invaders movie wasn't cancelled, I kept having a strange feeling that the Villains would've been recast once again like in the Game version compare to how Bud & Stereo's voices were changed in Season 2 or the Cancelled Film Trailer (at least, if Stereo could've been in the film somewhere and not in the trailer).
I honestly wouldn't tell who would've played Dr. Saccharin, but the Theory Vision thing that comes within in mind is how I would've imagine Ben Kingsley voicing as Bolok in the Movie (at least in Synthese's Own English Dub & not have it be butchered much like with The "Other" Adaptation).
#fun fact: I just watched “Death and the Maiden” & was stunned with Kingsley's performance#and like...#honestly the character (dr. miranda) is what kept reminding me about questioning bolok's mysterious nature#kinda have been having a sense of a gutting feeling that maybe somewhere they'd probably would've had a few celebs to voice anyone#or maybe they'd probably would've kept the same voices as either in the game or show who knows#just wanted to share this stupid random thought#but I surely have a few theory predicts of what could've been towards cancelled media up in my sleeve#indie text#space goofs#stupid invaders#les zinzins de l'espace#xilam
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that feeling when a book is relatable in such a weirdly hyperspecific way with respect to something that's so disturbingly prudent to my life and I thought no one understood will always be my favourite thing about reading
#liveblogging.pdf#one of my favourite things ive realized is im nowhere near as much a freak as i thought. for anything. at all#every weird ass thought ive had is in some book somewhere and i think that's beautiful#this goes with songs too. like niki wrote her nicole album about a certain person in my life i will take no criticism on this#and from the buzz singles im pretty sure she's writing the new album for another person peripherally in the same orbit#but yeaaaaaaaaah. reading a book is like diving into someone's soul#and these tiny parts stick with me forever#like what if it's us is objectively a fine book. not like the best book of all time or wtvr#but i cherished it for years because ben's voice was so real to things i thought i only thought and it felt good feeling seen#anyway the protagonist of the book im reading IS SO ME BUT MORE ALLO KJDFGDKJFHFKGH#DID NOT expect to relate to him this hard
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okay i'm out of evil mode. peace love and a little bit of still-tired on planet earth lol 🧃
#just me hi#slept ! ! ! was it good? hell nah kfshvg#but i slept :D#wasn't allowed to go to bed for a couple hours cuz parents wanted to play a movie. it was good but it put me in a weird headspace lmsfh#//ooou my ear's doing the Thing#you know the thing. the thing it does. loll#ever since that ant was in there that one time (dear lird) when i wake up from laying on it it'll feel like. a bit inflamed on the inside ?#and kinda itchy. not good things but it's likely not going to kill me so 💥💥#'it's likely not going to kill me' <- things i likely said while pretending i couldn't see anything for like 3-4 years#oh but yea i'm going to assume it's nothing bc i was also getting phantom feelings and sounds for some weeks that caused panic so i'm not#even going to put weight on it. it's just itchy no biggy Kfshvhf :)#//anyway i think i also had a dream but i do Not remember those well At All lol#i know the last one had oath in it though so that one was cool. don't remember much else but that was sick Lmfsh :3#//Ohh it's rainingggg yippeeee :D <3#don't get much snow but we'll get tons of rain... i miss you michigannnnn <//3#//but anyway the dream thing just reminded me#so this detail may not be important but my oldest brother and i are joked to be twins. there's 2 years and at least a foot of height betwee#us (i am the short). people get our voices mixed up when we talk low and i think that's funny#we were also thick as thieves as kids. not a good thing for anybody else but Yeagh kfshvg#but there was this one time we'd both woken up and were talking abt both having had a dream the night before; giving details and such#and we had the same dream ? it's still kinda odd to this day but we had the Same Exact Dream on the same night. if not odd it's neat! :3#anyway so somewhere in the past year my brother (apollo) got a lunar on his right index finger#i kept forgetting tho and asking if it was a blood bruise (that is my bad boss ✋) and eventually the info stuck in my head#anyway so somewhere in the past two months i also got a lunar on my right index finger. i didn't even notice it until i was tryna wash my#hands and it wouldn't come off lmaoo#now that's going on ig. the timeline-clone theory grows stronger every day Kfhsvhfgsfg#//forgot what else i was going to say i went to go look into the phrase 'thick as thieves' lol#i don't understand how someone heard 'thick' and thought 'yeah. that means close now' kfshd#anyway it's old as you've prolly guessed. the earliest spot it's popped up was a newspaper that printed a letter that was written in 1827#but it mighta been used earlier than that. neat!
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i wonder if my ex best friend remembers my birthday every year the way i remember hers
#haven't really thought about her in a while#hope she's well#i don't think she remembers it#i often feel like i'm leaving flowers at the graves of people from my past#lately i've been haunted by thoughts and dreams about people i used to love#and i will always love all of them#no matter how badly i got hurt in the process#a piece of me fractures off when i love someone and i wish they'd keep that piece tucked away somewhere in the closet and dust it off somet#imes. i stil have every letter#every gift every photo every silly thing i've saved over the years#and i know that no one does the same for me#i wonder what my ex did with the drawings i made them after they dumped me for their ex. were they thrown out and forgotten#or maybe did they keep them in a drawer somewhere to find a few years down the line and remember my face. my voice. my laugh#i still have the letter i started writing for them about a week before they left where i was saying i regretted not telling them i loved th#and sometimes i wonder had they seen the finished product if things would be different#my reluctance to admit my love out of fear of being forgotten results in abandonment more often than not#my girlfriend now swears the pattern isn't going to repeat but i've heard that song before and lately i haven't felt safe#and loved the way i once did. she tells me to talk to my therapist. but i don't think it's in my head. i told her if she's thinking of#leaving to just do it now and spare me the pain of love burning out slowly#and maybe she'll listen and that terrifies me#i am my own biggest burden
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... I would like to know about your OCs... pretty please?
-🎀
ribbon anon my dearest!! you wanna hear about them? 🥺🥰
the drawn characters are rei hayden and raven hayden, and they're meant to be twins. "meant to be" because... well, let's backtrack a little.
the story on raven's side starts on one fated new years eve. he's spending it alone, unhappy, contemplating his life. he makes an unwise and impulsive wish, yearning for something different.
this wish yoinks him and transports him to a very scary place <3 but dw! there's a guide person! and he recognises raven (which is odd :3c) and keeps saying this is a place for lost souls.
but he also says raven isn't lost.
the place kind of turns into a nightmare, the world shifting and reshaping around raven, and– there's a maze, and rising water, and lots of mirrors, except every single of his reflections looks different and acts on their own. (and not in a good way. they look kind of desperate.)
i'm trying to be concise here, so let me just say he gets out of this mid-world (by drowning while staring at one of his reflections that looks so so sad <3) and wakes up... in a bed. in an unfamiliar apartment. with a person with his face telling him to hurry up and get ready for school.
so! huh. that's weird.
raven's never had a brother, least of all a twin, but here rei is, flesh and blood, looking at raven in a way only an annoyed family member can.
here's some fun bits about the story:
raven is considered to have an irregular amnesia where he occasionally forgets everything about his life. this alludes to this not being the first time something odd has happened to some raven in this world. it's also not medically accurate, because, spoiler alert, it's not amnesia. and our raven remembers his life, and this wasn't it, thank you very much.
rei is the irresponsible brother. the troublemaker. the lone wolf. he also gets into fights and has enemies. he tries to reaaaally sell that he doesn't care.
raven kind of sees through that lie, gradually at first, then more steeply.
raven has a digital watch that stopped working the moment he was spirited away. which is 8 seconds before midnight on new years eve. it's his only possession that's carried over.
the new years eve hasn't happened here yet. it's before christmas.
you'd think this world is Nice and Safe and Normal, besides all that, but wrong! raven still sometimes catches his mirror reflection moving of its own accord, and he hears voices behind his back, and feels phantom touches that sometimes feel a bit too real. let's not forget about the nightmares.
he's exhausted and confused and scared and it's getting worse.
basically, he doesn't belong in this reality. these are the ways in which this reality is rejecting him, absolutely messing with his perception <3
there's a lot more going on here, about why he's here, and what happened before, and what the voices are actually telling him, etc.
there are other characters too! (but i tend to draw mostly just raven kjxbnk) the other characters include:
evia, a bullied girl with a horrible home life who just wants to escape it all, and gets tangled in with rei thinking he might be her ticket out (seeking out protection, even for the price of being used)
nick, a gang leader who doesn't shy away from violence, thinking rei needs to pay for some things he did in the past and learn his lesson (his methods are questionable; he's ready to hurt and destroy anything in rei's vicinity to prove his point and bring rei down to his knees)
and kye, nick's friend, who's genuinely only trying to do a good thing, but agrees with nick that rei needs to be stopped. he tries to take people away from rei safely, in order to protect them from the blast zone of this mess, convinced rei doesn't really care about them anyway.
here's a 2022 art of raven as a bonus <3
#ange answers#ribbon anon#sor#(the story is titled Soul of Raven)#i could ramble more about them gosh#i've had this story in my head for the longest time#it was my longest writing project ever#(hmtb currently has that title. went insane with that one huh)#thank u for asking about them!!#cw hearing voices#is that a valid cw?#uhh#i don't know what tags this needs#cw blood#for the art#the story has horrory elements i guess? never thought about it as horror but yeah maybe a little bit#i don't know if i should call it mental health struggles when all the paranoia and hallucinations come from somewhere else#but yeah raven's not having a great time in this story <3#there are points with suicidal ideation and mentions of suicide in the story too so. yep.#losing grip on reality#< yeah that tag#(looks at hmtb scar. haha. me and that tag huh?)
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Why do I feel like Im working so hard for my friendships. Why am I giving more than I am getting. Why is it so hard to be heard. Why do I feel like an afterthought. Why is it every time I think it gets better the rug gets pulled out from under me and I find out they don't really care. Why do I keep getting invited when they never talk to me. Why do I keep accepting it
#I need a hug#sorry this isn't unwind content#i just had to voice my thoughts somewhere#I thought today was good until it wasnt
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every now and then when we say something in-sys we DO still hear Allan's voice but barely so
and sometimes. they're like "QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I'M DEAD??" when,
We never DID explicitly tell anyone that, and
He is dead? He's literally a ghost. He honest to god legit for realsies died in 2019.
and he's like..,,,, "oh right! lmao sorry I forgot, carry on" JDJSMSKDMFCN??
#pk;m electrochemistry🔴#no idea where Rosie got off to and what connection Allan has rn isn't enough to ask them#his whole 'voicing other people's thoughts/what they're saying' thing is an autopilot thing he does & at this point#since he's been doing it for over a decade he's barely aware of it now#but w Rosie it's like. Ok. Well. There's a ton of similarities between hir & I. what if sie.... um.#and I'm like WELL THAT'S PROBABLY NOT THE CASE AHAHA [<= in denial in case that Is the case.]#but also like Actually logistically that's probably not what's happening here#cuz that doesn't FEEL like what's happening. hir & Allan r probably in some weird void somewhere#There's also The Horrors that ce sometimes Reminds Me Of Against My Will so I think if ce DID integrate into me#that would not Happen. it feels very 'I am forcibly receiving these memories from someone else'#and not 'I Myself Am Suddenly Remembering These Things And It Sucks' it's like ce's shoving them into my brain remnants#so aNYWAYS! THIS IS FINE [it's not but it's like on the levels of 'I keep bumping into shit' on the Annoyances Scale#very Low but still mildly painful and Annoying.]#idk how much awareness either of them have rn or have had for the past Ever since they stopped being able to front#like we Have tried asking and we get nonsense or nothing in response#so. ??????????? cool?????????????? well anyways. if that changes and they come back and they don't like any changes we've made to things#that's their problem then ig! jxjaksskxj
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Discovering coincidences in my life, which are music related is starting to creep me out. I just realized that Paul's music has been with me throughout my entire life and only now I started paying attention to it
#I will dwell on that at the end of the year#doing the year summaries#but just...#he has been with me since I was 8 years old and I always thought he had beautiful voice#with me as in with his music#always out there somewhere#similar to Ringo#I kinda can't wrap my mind around this#talking corner
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“A little dirt never hurt anyone. Well, okay, no, the dirt I grew up in never hurt anyone. Might do you some good, actually. The dirt here? I wouldn’t eat it even if someone promised to kick it out of me.”
“I wouldn’t eat anything if I knew someone was going to kick it out of me?”
“No, see, it’s an expression.”
“I don’t think it is.”
#this is taken directly from my head#the first voice is the natural progression of thought and the second is the other side of me saying ‘hey man what was that’#I was somewhere between zoning out and dozing off when this happened and it shook me out of whatever mind-numbing sitting I had going on
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I take back... SOME of my negativity about fe:engage. Now that I'm out of prolog hell I have decided the fun eclipses the annoyances. For now.
#speculation nation#engage spoilers/#i still think the ring emblem thing is cheap#... but it also brought me a lot of joy to see and hear Celica again. same voice actress 😭 even if her sprite looks different (worse)#the real separating moment tho was when i went to the side summoning thing and mae showed up. i gasped a little ngl.#apparently i couldnt give less of a shit about marth or sigurd. but celica and the Valentia crew... 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i mean itd probably just be better to play echoes instead of engage if what is bringing me the most joy in this game is Valentia Crew#which. god i wish echoes was longer than it is. it's Easily my favorite fire emblem game#in characters. story. art. music. tactics (LOVE the battle maps)#there is not a single thing i dislike about echoes. aside from the length i guess. but really i just obsessively play it anytime i play#so it feels so short but i do dump a good 50 hours per game. so not Long but not short#ive replayed it like 3 times at least. and god i miss it. i always wanna play it more.#maybe my next game i should play on hard. i enjoy the challenge more lol#uhm. well. ok so engage is still incredibly lackluster in comparison to echoes. but really that's an impossible standard for it to meet. so#other thoughts: i HATE HATE HATE this princess' dress SO fucking much. i though alfred's fucking panteloons were stupid#but her fucking bulb dress is so much worse. and she's not even a healer!!!!! another squishy mage but with a sword too >:(#she came with celica which made it obvious she's meant as a celica copy. but at least celica can heal >:(#i wonder if alm is somewhere. probably in the land of strength??? if i had to guess at least.#ok but the princess' retainers... i actually kinda like them... their voices are actually decent! and that pegasus rider is... 😳#i desperately need another monk. current girl is decently useful as a healer but she is weak as FUCK#the punchy stuff seems cool but i never see it cause i gotta keep her off the front lines bc she's SQUISHY#im warming up to the twins. still hate their voices & i hate when theyre fanboying.#but removed from the protag theyre kind of sweet. plus passably useful in battle.#god i need another healer tho lmfao. pls @ the game give me another healer soon...
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So, I'm trans. And several years ago, I was at my great grandfather's funeral. 17, newly on T, barely out to anyone other than my close friends and family. And I'm standing there at the refreshment's table, surrounded by strangers and members of my family's church, when George walks up to me.
This man is ancient, bent like a finger and frail. Tufts of white hair surround his wrinkled face. Like always, he's wearing thick glasses, massive hearing aids, and his veteran's hat. George was my first introduction to the concept of war, when he told me as a child why he was missing two fingers on his hand. He's been a fixture at church since I can remember. I've only ever seen him at there or in uniform at parades, the rest of his time spent in a nursing home somewhere. He picks up a deviled egg and says, in his quiet voice,
"You know, before your grandfather died, he told me that now he had 3 grandsons."
I'm frozen in place. I don't know what to say to that, if I should say anything at all. This is not a conversation I expected to have, especially not with this man. But he continues.
"I didn't know what he meant! So he explained it to me."
And I can imagine it. My great grandfather, uninformed and opinionated but supportive, explaining to his friend the news he barely understood himself over after-service coffee and cookies. His eldest grandchild was now a boy.
"And, you know, I didn't know what to think."
Here, George looks me up and down. This 90-something year old war veteran, who knew me mostly as the little girl playing in the church kitchen with his wife, processing what my great grandfather had really meant. It feels like a long pause, even thought it probably passed in a second.
"But you look good. So, eh!"
And then he smiled, shrugged, and walked away without another word. If I was fine, if I was happier, then that's all that mattered.
George passed away this week, at the age of 99. This memory has been bouncing around in my head for a while, but I wasn't sure if or how I should share it. It was a conversation that meant very little, but also meant the world. It was scary, and funny, and the moment when I realized that sometimes the people you least expect will accept you. Sometimes, even if they don't fully understand, even if they barely know you, someone will choose to support you. And that will always matter.
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