#but i had a little package from the supermarket and wanted to use all of it

[placeofwonder]

hi this is a psa: you should chop some parsnips and roast them with olive oil and salt & pepper, and then when they're almost done, you should mix some honey and ginger with just enough hot water to dissolve the honey and brush that on the parsnips for the last few minutes of roasting. and that will be very good already, but if you wanted to be fancy (you should be), you could eat the parsnips with pomegranate seeds and pomegranate molasses and maybe a bit of cress as a contrasting colour. look!!

[pitchsidestories]

Swiss chocolate for breakfast II Lia Wälti x Reader

masterlist I word count: 790

inspired by this sweet request here.<3

Milk, eggs, oats, almond butter, paper towels…

It was all right there on the grocery list that Lia was studying while she absentmindedly pushed the cart.

You knew exactly what it said on there. After all, you were the one who wrote it all down in the morning.

It was all stuff that had to be stocked up before you two would leave with Arsenal for the US tour.

Boring. Something absolutely essential was missing that wasn’t on the list.

With a dull thud you dropped a few packages into the cart.

Lia looked up from her shopping list.

Her gaze drifted from the cartons to you: “Wait, what’s that?“

You innocently blinked at her: “We travel to America therefore I need my English tea, Lia.“

“You don’t need your tea. I’m sure they will have tea there.“, your girlfriend laughed while removing the tea from the cart.

You took the cartons from her and dropped them back inside: “But not as good as this one. It’s simply the best.“

“It’s just tea.“, Lia complained but this time didn’t touch the packages.

You shook your head in disbelief. You had this conversation way too many times. “Lia, it’s not just any tea!“

Lia pointed at the three packages: “You don’t even need that much tea.“

“Yes, I do!“

“You won’t drink it there anyway.“

“Maybe the other English girls and I want some tea in the afternoon or evening…“, you explained but stopped yourself suddenly.

You looked around. How did you two end up in the chocolate section all of a sudden?

You watched as Lia gently placed something into the cart. You immediately recognized the metallic packaging of her favourite chocolate.

“Hold on. Is that Swiss chocolate in the basket? We certainly don’t need that either.“, you decided, giving her deprecating stare and trying to bite back a smile.

Your girlfriend pretended to be offended: “Of course we need chocolate! The flight is super long!“

“Pretty sure they give away chocolate on the plane?“, you playfully rolled your eyes.

“What if they don’t? And what if it isn’t real Swiss chocolate? Also that’s never enough for a ten hour flight.“

“You’re a professional football player my love you should know better.”, you teased her lovingly.  

“If you can’t appreciate my Swiss chocolate then I won’t appreciate your English tea!”, Lia decided pouting, trying hard not to laugh about your little unserious argument.

“You didn’t appreciate my tea to begin with!”, you countered, your lips twitching, wanting to turn into a grin, but you didn’t want to give in already.  Luckily this was London and not the English and Swiss countryside where you both grew up, so no one was turning their heads during the discussion.

“Okay, listen, here’s a deal, we get both, okay? And everyone’s happy.”, the midfielder sighed loudly.

“Deal.”, you nodded satisfied while the two of you continued your way through the supermarket peacefully.  

“I’m sure the new teammates will feel better and more welcomed to our team with that chocolate.”, she declared happily.

Fondly, Lia reminisced the times she joined a new football team in Potsdam or Arsenal and always brought some Swiss chocolate at the beginning which turned out to be a great way to her new teammate’s hearts.

Even your romance started with a little praline which turned up at your seat in the changing room at every home game with a little message until one read, will you go on a date with me? Marking the day where you turned into lovers.  

“And with some tea.”, you added smirking.

“Which tastes like nothing.”, Lia commented chuckling.

“Love, I’m telling you, you’re doing your tea wrong.”, you replied.

“This reminds me we need to get coffee too; we ran out of beans.”, your girlfriend remembered.

After the coffee beans were secured, she looked at her phone before glancing back to you.

“Oh, Steph texted and asked if we want to join making pizzas at Kim’s place tonight and if we’re still in the supermarket.”

“I hate when they do this. They always make us get groceries for them. Okay, text her we’ll bring everything.”, you groaned dramatically.

“I’ll. She immediately replied with a lot of kiss emojis.”, the brunette noted amused.

“Come on, we’ve to hurry up.”, you told her, while simultaneously grabbing the things needed for pizza.

“Please I’m starting to get hungry too.”, Lia said. Both of you couldn’t wait until you meet the other women as evenings at Kim were always a lot of fun which you didn’t want to miss out on.

And maybe but only maybe there would be a bit of chocolate for breakfast in the morning before you took on the long flight on the plane.

[extra-stout-stories]

( #feedist vignettes. Reblog if you like a fit feeder becoming fatter than their feedee. Gender neutral. Written in response to this ask, and my asks are still open.)

You used to stay fit for contrast's sake.

Not me. I've never been skinny. I was a greedy fatty as a kid, and I'm a greedy fatty now. When I first saw the look in your eyes when we met, I understood why you felt like you had to stay skinny. You have to look your "best" if you want to get your hands on a belly like this, right? After all, I'm a prize. Cute, charming, and dedicated to being hugely fucking fat.

But contrast is hard to maintain when you're around me. After all, I don't diet, to put it mildly. You always liked to come with me on my supermarket trips, because it turned you on as much as it turned me on to follow me through every aisle as I grabbed treat after treat, loading my cart up with all the most delicious fattening things, occasionally flipping a package over to check calorie counts and imagining how much weight I could gain if I ate the whole thing in one sitting.

It turned you on even more when I did eat the whole thing in one sitting.

And when your mind is taken over by horniness, it's easy to reach for one more bite and not lose track of just how much you've been putting away.

When you got chubby, it didn't bother you as much as you expected it would. I still couldn't keep my hands off you. It was annoying to shop for a whole new wardrobe, but you put your old clothes in storage temporarily until you got back to your gym routine.

You found yourself enjoying eating with me. When I got so full that even I couldn't take it any more, there was still all that food waiting to be eaten. And you always did like food. It wasn't easy staying thin, was it?

Then your belly developed a hang. You freaked out a little bit, at first. That lasted just a few hours, until I took you into the bedroom and showed you just how good it feels to have a partner's adoring lips and fingertips teasing your underbelly, how good it feels to grip your belly with one hand and feel it jiggle while you climax.

You were hooked.

We were shopping for two at the supermarket now. Two fatties pushing carts full of junk food, a slowly waddling superfat and a chunky little smallfat. It felt right, somehow. Romantic. Intimate.

But I've lived in this body my whole life. For you, it was all new. You weren't used to getting out of breath so easily. You weren't expecting the little aches and pains that make you decide to just sit and keep eating rather than get up from the couch. I was so tender when you needed me to be. So supportive.

When you wanted me to, though, I could tease you about how fat you were getting. About how if you weren't careful, you were going to get even fatter than me.

You wanted me to.

A lot.

And guess what?

It wasn't just teasing.

I'm back to one cart at the supermarket now, on the days when I don't splurge on curbside pickup or in-home delivery. You've gotten a little too fat to make those trips. Easier to just sit on the couch while I go out. Easier to sit there snacking while you wait for me to get back.

And now I'm the one with that wild look in my eye when I see you. You're gigantic. It's like you fill the couch entirely. It's not just that nobody would ever believe you used to be a gym rat. It's that nobody would ever believe you could walk more than a couple of steps at a time. I can hardly believe it, and I'm the one who helped make you this way.

I can't keep my hands off you.

I joke sometimes about how I corrupted you. I tease you about how your appetite is so out of control that you've gotten even fatter than me.

But you tease me right back. Did you just call me skinny?

We're going to have to do something about that…

[eomayas]

new thing (pt.2) • pcy

pairing: chanyeol x f reader, age gap

genre: smut, 18+ MINORS DNI!!! chanyeol is a munch! little bit fluffy

synopsis: after running into chanyeol, he asks you out on a date, and you’re the dessert.

warnings: oral (f receiving), praise, p in v, pwp

series masterlist

it certainly wasn’t the last time you saw chanyeol. no, you saw him exactly three days after that, when you ran into him at a supermarket you rarely ever shop at. you were simply in the area, because it’s close to your job, and bumped into him on your way to check out. all you had in your hands was a package of wholegrain crackers that you and seulgi liked, and kombucha. he, on the other hand, had a basketful of stuff, which made you feel extremely young.

he noticed you first, your name leaving his lips in a way that made your heart jump and your stomach flip. you didn’t know why you were nervous—you ran into people you’ve had sex with before—but it was different, seeing him outside of the bar setting. he was in a plain black tshirt, black joggers, sneakers, and a yankee hat; the outfit should not have set you off, but it did. the simple sexiness of it all made your core jump.

you said hi, and you’re grateful that he’s personable, because you forgot how to hold a conversation. he could definitely sense your nervousness, and kept the conversation short, ending it with asking you to lunch exactly a week from the first time you guys had sex. you were stunned, but you said yes, of course.

that saturday came around, and you guys met at a brunch restaurant that you’d probably only ever go to if you and seulgi have good news, or really wanted to treat yourselves. the inside was beautiful and the menu was expensive, and chanyeol didn’t even flinch to pull his card out and pay for you meal. it shocked you, and you hoped you didn’t show it because you’re used to men either wanting to split the bill, or begrudgingly pulling out their wallets.

you learned that day that he’s the oldest sibling to a younger brother, that he’s a music producer and songwriter, and that he originally went to school for data science before dropping out to pursue music. he doesn’t check his phone the entire time you are both together, and he checks on you to make sure you made it home thirty minutes after you leave. he asks you questions about yourself, and smiles when you start most of your sentences with ‘ummm’, whereas the men—boys—you’ve been with before him would have lost interest in what you were saying immediately. it’s safe to say chanyeol is a real man compared to your exes, and it’s a very foreign experience, though not unpleasant and unwelcomed. before the night was over, he asked to see you again, which is currently what you’re getting ready for on a friday night.

you finish clasping your large hoops in your ear and do a once-over in the mirror. you thin black dress clings to your body in all of the right ways, but it’s real intent is for chanyeol to rip it off of you by the end of the night.

“okay, seul, how do i look?” you ask, stepping out of your room and poking into the doorway or hers. seulgi looks at you and screeches, clapping her hands together.

“bitch, you look too good!” she yells, and you pose dramatically in her doorway. “i take it you won’t be coming home tonight?” seulgi asks, a grin on her face.

you blush at the thought of staying with chanyeol. “we’ll see,” is all you say, but you’re hoping that she’s correct. your phone buzzes in your shoulder bag, and you quickly slide it off of your shoulder to answer the call. you can barely keep the smile off of your face as you say, “hi.” into the receiver.

“hey, y/n, im outside,” chanyeol says, and you all but rush to say ‘okay’, and quickly hang up.

“was that chanyeol?” seulgi asks and you nod, giddy even though you’ve seen him twice since the very first time you met. “have fun! use a condom!” she says, digging in her bedside drawer and tossing one to you before you leave. you catch it and put it in your bag, just in case.

outside, his matte black corvette awaits. chanyeol gets out of the car to greet you, smiling when he sees you. you try to keep your walk as normal as you can with his eyes on you, and he holds out a hand once you get close. “hey,” he says, gently tugging you close.

“hi,” he gives you a soft kiss on your lips, one of his hands on the small of your back. he pulls away and opens the passenger door for you and you thank him, sliding in. he discreetly checks out your backside as you get in, and runs a hand through his hair. it was going to be a long night.

chanyeol helps you out of his car, and you gaze up at his large house in awe. it’s a huge tan house with a black door and a slanted roof. large windows adorn the upper level of the house, one dead center which looks like it’s supposed to be the window a sun room. “nice,” you say, glancing over at him. he shrugs to be modest, but he knows he has a nice house—he worked for it.

he grabs your hand and leads you to the front door, unlocking it and pulling you inside. it’s even more excellent inside, and you can’t believe you’re actually in a home like this and know somebody with a home like this. chanyeol gives you a tour of the entire downstairs, showing you the kitchen that has a smart refrigerator and stainless steel appliances, the large living room with ample room and a large tv, and a large, gray L-shaped sofa.

“do you want anything to drink? i have water, wine… uh… tequila?” he says after you two finish downstairs and go back towards the kitchen.

“i’m good, thanks,” you say. he nods and closes the fridge, gesturing to the stairs for you to start going up. you do, and he follows after you. he can’t help but keep his eyes on your ass, and when you guys get to the top of the stairs, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into him, placing a kiss on your neck. you reach back and put a hand on the side of his face, holding him there briefly as he starts walking you to a room that you can only presume is his.

you appear to be correct when you push the door open. chanyeol straightens up and loosens his hood on you. “sorry, this was a douche move—let me show you the sun room,” he says, pulling you out and across the hall to a room where you can imagine spending every hour of everyday. there are plants strewn around, some hanging from the ceiling, and a comfortable looking tan couch. there’s also a reading nook, and lots of pillows and blankets for maximum comfort. in front of the window is a telescope, and you go over to it. “do you use this a lot?” you ask him, putting your eye to the lens and looking out at the moon. you let out a small gasp, feeling like a kid at the planetarium.

chanyeol shrugs behind you, stuffing his hands in his jeans pocket. “sometimes, yeah,” he replies, and you turn around, a smile on your face.

“well, it’s really cool in here,” you say, walking back over and standing in front of him. chanyeol smiles down at you and gently grabs your chin, placing a soft kiss on your lips.

you let him lead you back into his bedroom, where you drop onto the corner of his bed to start unlacing your heels. chanyeol removes his jacket and hangs it up in the closet like an adult, whereas you’d just throw it on the closest surface and deal with it another day. his room is quite literally spotless, and everything looks like it belongs.

chanyeol comes back from putting his coat away and notices you’re still removing one shoe, sirs down next to you, grabbing the foot you haven’t started on yet, placing it in his lap, and untying your heels that lace all the way up your calf. when both of your shoes are off, you thank him and flex your foot to relieve some of the pain of the heels. he gently kneads at your calf and you want to sigh at the gesture, but you keep it to yourself. “i’ve had a lot of fun tonight,” you say to him, tilting your head to the side ever so slightly.

“i’m glad,” he says, leaning over and kissing you with more force than the last one. his hand stills on your calf while his other one slide up your thigh and tugs you closer to him, so he’s sitting sideways in between your legs.

chanyeol adjusts so you’re lying flat on the bed and he’s hovering over you, the chain he typically keeps tucked into a shirt dangling in front of your face. you put a hand on the back of his neck and pull him down to you, hooking a leg around his waist as you kiss him deeply. he moves his lips down to your neck and you hold onto his shoulders and grind your lower half into him. “take this dress of, pretty girl,” he says, pulling away from you and resting on his knees.

you can’t help but blush at the pet name and quickly pull your arms out of your sleeves and push the dress down you legs. he helps you by pulling it down the rest of the way and leaving you in a black bra and matching underwear. you feel shy under his gaze, even though you’ve already had sex with him before. but this feels more intimate—it is more intimate than the first time—and you haven’t felt this shy since the time you lost your virginity.

you prop yourself up on your elbows as his eyes rake across your body. his drags his fingertips down your abdomen to the tops of your thighs, and goosebumps rise on your skin. because you can’t take the way he’s looking at you, you lean up and kiss him, pulling him back down to you. you slide your hands down his back and underneath his shirt, feeling the skin of his muscular back. you swear he flexes to show off, because when he pulls away to rip off his shirt, he has a cocky grin on his face.

chanyeol kisses you deeply before kissing down your body, starting with your left leg and kissing all the way down to your ankle before doing the same thing on the right side, but going up.

he pulls your underwear down, and you open your legs wider and bend them so he has more space. you expect him to start fingering you, but instead he moves his face down to your heat, and you quickly sit up. “no, chanyeol, you don’t have to do that,” you say, trying to scoot away from him. most of the guys you’ve been with weren’t into giving oral, so you stopped asking or expecting them to do it.

chanyeol looks up at you, confusion etched on his face. “but… i want to,” he says, his eyes boring into yours.

“you want to?” you ask, disbelief in your voice. he chuckles and you tense as the sound vibrates off of your core.

“yes, y/n, i want to eat you out. is that okay?” he asks, kissing the inside of your knee. when he sees the look on your face, his eyebrows furrow. “wait—have you never been given head before?” he asks.

you feel embarrassed to shake your head, because he seems so into it. “i mean, no, i guess i haven’t,” you say, looking away from him.

“do you want me to?” he asks, his hand absentmindedly stroking your calf.

you do. you’re so used to giving, it’d be nice to receive, especially when it’s a mutual want. you look down at him and see it in his eyes—he looks like he’s been given a plate of food after starving for so long.

you nod your head. “yes,” you say. chanyeol licks his lips and looks down at your pussy, holding himself back from completely ravishing you.

“just lay back, and relax, y/n,” he says, flicking his eyes up to meet you before going back down to your cunt. you let out a breath and do as he says, relaxing your legs and looking up at the ceiling. “and look at me.” he orders. when you do, he immediately connects his lips to your second pair, and starts licking and sucking.

you gasp and start to close your legs, but he muscles them open using his shoulders. you squirm as he flicks his tongue back and forth, suckling on your clit. “stop moving,” he says, not removing his face from in between your legs. you keep yourself still, your chest rising and falling rapidly at the feeling of his voice against your core.

your back arches off the bed when he chooses to add his long, thick, fingers into the mix. “ch-chanyeol!” you shout in a broken moan. you let out a string of curses as he sucks on your clit and pumps his fingers in and out of you.

you can’t remember the last time you felt this good during foreplay. nobody has ever tended to your needs the way chanyeol is, and it’s slightly unbelievable that he’s real.

but he’s very real, and he lets himself be known when he shakes his head side to side. you fist the sheets on his bed and cry out his name. “fuck, yeol, i-“ a broken cry of his name gets caught in your throat and a strange feeling in your stomach, like a balloon that’s been filled up with too much air, fills the bottom of your stomach.

chanyeol pulls you impossibly closer to him and hooks his arms around your thighs. his nose bumps your clit endlessly, and your legs start to shake. the balloon keeps getting filled, until it snaps and you thrash around on the bed, seeing spots as you scream out chanyeols name.

“damn,” is all he says as you gush all over his face, some of it dripping down your center and onto his sheets. he can’t help but watch in amazement as you keep on releasing, your pussy practically throbbing. he watches as you clench around absolutely nothing, and can’t help but get hard. if there’s one thing chanyeol likes to do, it is please people. but he particularly likes pleasing women by using his mouth and tongue, and he can tell when he succeeds—like right now.

he doesn’t even give you a minute to calm down, because he’s back at your core lapping up all of your juices. “chanyeol, wait!” you cry, but your hand on his head, holding him at your cunt says otherwise. when you start trying to crawl away from him is when he lets up.

the entire bottom half of his face glistens when he gets out from in between your legs. you can’t even look at him, feeling so bare and embarrassed, because you can feel a wet spot on the sheets. “you alright?” he asks, a smirk on his face.

“mhm,” you say, pressing your legs together.

“look at me.”

you do, and with hooded eyes. you can’t help but giggle at how crazy he looks with only half of his face wet. you glance down at his lower half, the tent in his pants hard to ignore. you motion for him to come closer.

you reach for his waistband, undoing the button and zipper before pushing down his pants, along with his briefs, his dick hard and throbbing, bobbing in wait. you look up at him as you kiss below his belly button and down his happy trail. when you grab ahold of his dick, he gently stops you, and you frown. “i really just need to be inside of you right now,” he says, pushing the rest of his clothes off.

you smile and he leans down to kiss you, pushing you back onto the bed. “condom,” you remind him as he starts to line himself up.

“right,” he says, quickly getting off of you and and going to his bedside table. you unhook your bra as you wait for him, pinching one of your nipples in between your fingers before groping your own chest. you nearly start to touch yourself until he’s back in front of you, an eyebrow raised. “couldn’t wait?” he asks teasingly, rolling the condom on.

“no,” he shakes his head at you and holds his dick by the base. “hurry up!” you whine, reaching for him.

“good girls get what they want.”

“we both know i’m not.”

he smirks down at you, pressing the tip against your puffy folds. “no,” chanyeol says, rubbing it up and down. “you aren’t.” and then he pushes into you, air feeling like it’s left your lungs. you’re not used to him in the slightest, and you’ve never been stretched like this until him. even when you were riding him almost two weeks ago, it took you some time to get used to him.

“fuck!” you cry, holding onto his forearms. the chain hanging from his neck dangles in front of your face as he thrusts into you. it gently hits your nose every time he rocks into you, and all it does is get you more turned on. “faster, yeol.” you moan, sliding your hands up his arms and splaying them across his back.

chanyeol pounds into you, making your toes curl and back arch into his chest. you dig your nails into his skin, leaving indents. chanyeol looks down at you and watches how your face twists up on pleasure as you moan out his name. his chain continues to tap against your nose, and he moves to take it off, but you stop him. “leave it on!” you groan, wrapping a leg around his hip.

you take one hand and grab him by the necklace and pull his lips down to you, not exactly kissing but your noses touching. “you feel so good,” you moan, a hand in his hair.

“you’re so tight, fuck,” he groans, kissing your neck. he grips one of your hips tightly and ruts into you relentlessly, your nails scratching up his back.

when he comes, it’s loud and he’s saying all types of filthy things, calling you pretty and baby, two new pet names to add to the list. you come after him, clenching around his dick and making him whimper in your ear, which almost makes you come again. he has to pull himself out of you for self control, but your grip on him makes it much harder. “baby, cmon,” he begs, his breath catching in his throat.

you finally relax enough for him to pull out with a groan, and you curl into yourself with a whimper, your heart beating quickly. “you okay?” he asks, concern in your voice. all you can do is give him a thumbs up, which he laughs at and then kisses the pad of your finger. “i’ll be back.” he says before getting off of the bed.

by the time he’s come back, your sitting up, criss-cross and naked, on his bed. he comes back in sweats and no shirt, and gives you a small smile. chanyeol offers you a tshirt, which you take, and slip on. he finds your underwear, which you put on as well, so you’re winney-the-pooh-ing it. chanyeol crawls onto the bed next to you and props himself up on his elbow. “so..?” he questions and you raise an eyebrow.

“you want me to rate our sex?” you ask, giving him an incredulous look. he shrugs, a smirk on his face and you roll your eyes and pretend to think hard. “hmm…” you say, tapping your chin, and he scoffs and jumps on top of you, caging you beneath him. you laugh and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. there’s no way you’re going for round two, but you want to be close to him.

to your gain, you do spend the night, and you tell seulgi, who seems way too excited for you, but supports nonetheless.

[seangelfish]

Hi, could I request romantic fluff of the Reader making and giving Valentine’s chocolate to Mayoi?

His favorite chocolate voice line fills me with so much pure joy.

This was such a cute request. I enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoy reading!! I did end up using his official Valentines' line from ENGstars too hehe ♡

Mayoi Ayase x Reader

Genre/s: Fluff, established relationship

Word count: 1,084

Plot/summary: Just some casual fluff with Mayoi, making him chocolates for Valentines because you love him so much!

You've been together with Mayoi for a while now, but this is the first time you're actually going to spend Valentine’s Day with him, so you wanted to make the day extra special!

And of course, you were planning on making his favourite chocolate! After browsing the internet for a recipe, you clocked out of work to head to the nearest supermarket to buy all the ingredients.

But something felt off when you stepped outside the building to Star Pro. You whipped around, scanning your surroundings. You clutched the strap of your bag before crying out, "Mayoi, are you around here?!"

You could hear the sound of something shuffling towards you. Mayoi made himself seen as he exited from his hiding place from behind the corner. He looked distraught that you noticed his presence.

"What are you doing?" you asked him curiously. There wasn't any annoyance to your voice, but knowing him, he took it as if you were mad at him anyway.

"I promise I wasn't going to do anything bad, (Y/N)!" he quavered. "Please forgive me...!"

You laughed a little bit and approached him, taking his hand in yours to reassure him that you weren't mad at him at all, but was just curious at the fact he needed to hide himself from you. You're his girlfriend after all! He didn't need to take precaution from you.

"I'm sorry..." he murmured. "It's just a habit of mine... it's hard to break out of..."

"I understand," you said. "Are you done with rehearsals? I thought you'd stay awhile."

Mayoi's fingers intertwined with yours. "The others decided to call it a day, so I was about to go back to the dorms... but then I saw you..."

"Well," you began, pulling your hand away from him and then pointing at the other direction. "You should go back to the dorms."

Mayoi was stunned by your change in attitude. First you showed him such compassion and sweetness, and then the next second, you were acting all stern with him. You WERE mad at him after all!

"So you ARE mad at me, (Y/N)!"

"Yep, now go," you joked. "Shoo, shoo!"

He was absolutely dumbfounded. You were trying so hard not to burst out laughing.

You were only playing with him, but you needed to go to the supermarket before closing time. If you were to tell Mayoi that you were going to run some errands, he was for sure going to come with you to help. You didn't want that! This was supposed to be a surprise for him!

"I need to go," you informed him. "I'm quite busy tonight. So, go back home and get some rest, okay?"

"Okay..." he said with a sad little nod. You were glad he didn't ask any questions.

"And don't follow me!" you added which made him wince. You knew him so well...

Later, when you were finished buying all the ingredients you needed, you returned home. You couldn't meet Mayoi at the dorms anyway, it wasn't permitted. So, you took this opportunity to get the chocolates made for Valentines' Day which was just around the corner.

After preparing the chocolate in which Mayoi had such bitter taste in, you poured the mixture into the cute heart-shaped moulds that you bought at the store. Then you placed them into the freezer to cool.

Once removed from the freezer, you started decorating the chocolates with red and white sprinkles, adding a sprinkle of gold power on top too. They looked so cute that you ended up taking a picture of them.

"Hehe, I hope he likes them!" you exclaimed.

You neatly packaged the chocolates in a box, securing it with a red ribbon. You couldn't wait to give this to him the next day.

After your shift with Trickstar, you clocked out and wandered around Star Pro to find out where Mayoi could be. You were sure that he didn't have anything planned after 5pm, so you scanned the agency until there were no other places you could scan.

"Huh..." you muttered. "Where on earth is he–"

"(Y-Y/N)!"

You looked up to find Mayoi running towards you.

"Ah, there you are!" you chirped, spreading your arms out wide for a hug. However, he didn't really expect that from you, so he was quite hesitant. Though, he did really want to touch you, so he accepted the invitation and brought you into his embrace.

"Niki's right... you do smell nice..." you murmured to yourself, but he was quick to catch on that statement of yours.

"P-Please don't eat me, (Y/N)!" he wailed.

"Oh, I won't... not yet that is," you said. "But I hope you'll be able to eat this!"

You pulled out the box of chocolates from your bag and handed them over to Mayoi with a sweet smile.

"Happy Valentine’s Day, Mayoi," you said softly.

He was astonished. Did he hear that correctly? Well, of course he did. You're his girlfriend. But sometimes it does feel like he's dreaming, and that he should wake up from this dream because it doesn't feel too real. Though, it was real, and your feelings for him were real too. You liked him so much that you were willing to give him chocolates for Valentine's Day...

"I made them myself, you know? I hope you like them!"

He couldn't help but smile at you, his cheeks burning red. "It's hard to find someone this nice to me..." he began, opening the box and admiring the chocolates you made for him. "I'm sorry, I don't know how to respond... Ughhh, I'm on the verge of tears."

"Aww, come on, Mayoi... you deserve it," you said. "I love you after all."

As if his face couldn't get even more redder, it did. He looked at you desperately and you took the initiative to give him a little peck on the cheek.

"(Y/N)..."

You grinned. "Aren't you going to try one?"

He picked one of the chocolates and placed it in his mouth. It seemed like he enjoyed it as he kept smiling at you.

"It's delightful," he commented. "Thank you, my love."

"I'm glad you like it. Now let's go spend the rest of the day together! I was thinking that we could..."

As you voiced your ideas, Mayoi was thinking of what he should do for you for White Day. He needed to make it even more special for you as he loved you too much for it to just be a normal day.

Intro page | Ensemble Stars masterlist | Rules

[tia-amorosa]

Sunset Died - Erin's Crew

Last Desert Day (Part 1)

The last day at the base was a bit hectic. Everyone got up at their usual time, and this time they swapped their comfortable clothes for camouflage again. “I had only just got used to a bit of normality again. Now I'm excited…"/ ‘It's not just you, Shearing, hn.’/ ‘How long will the first stage take?’/ ‘About 7 hours, I guess’.

Chloe looked for a moment at the cereal flakes floating around in the milk. “Phew, 7 hours of sitting… I think I'll definitely go to the loo again later before we fly off”/ “I would have advised you to do that in any case, hn. And if it's urgent on board, you know what you have to do"/ ‘Yes, but it's so embarrassing in front of the others’/ ‘I understand that.’

For Diego, it was the last time he would be tidying up the kitchen at the military base for the time being. The flight wouldn't be leaving until the evening, but he wanted to get on with the task he hadn't managed the day before. He wanted to run a few errands in the city, especially picking up the medication. He had already called one of the pharmacies as a precaution and asked if they could put together a package.

Roman wasn't particularly relaxed that morning, rather irritable. “What's going on? Have you perhaps changed your mind and want to stay here?"/ ”Nonsense, I just didn't remember that we'd have to turn up in winter clothes. And I don't really have anything like that in my wardrobe"/ ‘I'd be happy to lend you something of mine’. Roman looked at her with his familiar disparaging look. “Huh? No, that's all right, I'll have another look in the spare clothes cupboard”

Later. Diego has gone into town with Roman to get the rest of the things. “And you're really sure there's a pharmacy in the supermarket?"/ ”Yeah, sure, or do you think I'm stupid? You'd better get the other things"/ ”OK, that's fine, man, sometimes you act like the boss himself!”

The two of them went into the supermarket. While Diego went straight to the pharmacy section, Roman made almost half a circuit of the entire store. He didn't actually have much to buy. But then he stopped at one of the shelves. “oh yeah… I've really controlled myself long enough now, come to daddy, hehe”.

Once they were outside again, Roman put the boxes down at the side for a moment and sat down on the bench to light up one of the cigarettes he had just bought. “hh… Oh man, that's really good"/ ‘wow… you've lasted all this time without them, why are you starting again?’.

While Diego walked towards the bench, Roman looked after him and had to squint a little because of the sun shining on his face “be honest, what else can I do here in this town at the moment? smoking is a bit like sex. At least you have a stimulant and can lick her black pearl from time to time”…

“Hn, at least her pearl tastes better than that shit you're sucking into your lungs"/ ”hhp, thanks, I didn't really want to know that exactly. Did she talk to you last night? About your conversation with the general?"/ ‘Not really, she just said it's all sorted.’. Only Diego knew at that moment that wasn't quite true. Erin had spoken to him about the matter with the surveillance cameras. But he remained calm and promised not to tell anyone else about it.

“I see. And how long is our assignment there supposed to last? Another three months?” said Roman in a sarcastic tone. “No, certainly not that long, hopefully not. We won't be the only ones helping them out there. They also need heavy-duty helicopters for the evacuation, which they don't have here, but other teams are already in the starting blocks. Let's see what it looks like there first.” / ”hh, okay. Let's go back”.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

@greenplumbboblover ⭐

[sayitaliano]

Ciao! I recently had the opportunity to visit beautiful Montepulciano in Tuscana last month. My grasp on Italian was tenuous at best, having only learned a week's worth of basics through Duolingo.

I'm deaf/hard-of-hearing (how do you say that in Italian?) and for all of my life, I have been discouraged from attempting to learn a foreign language under the premise that I could never learn it if I couldn't hear perfectly. To my surprise, I found it was easier to understand native Italian speakers speaking Italian than it was native English speakers speaking accented English.

I'm finding Italian to be a beautiful, if a bit complicated, language, and I'm now searching out resources to further my learning. Duolingo has the ideal modality for my learning style (erratic), but the lack of focus on grammar rules or conjugation makes it hard to progress.

I found your blog through your posts on basic pronunciation and grammar. Those were incredibly helpful, thank you!

I've wanted to ask, have you had any experience managing food allergies in Italy? During my stay, I noticed most restaurants listed their allergens on the menu and had an additional allergen statement encouraging customers to make their allergies known.

Although my food intolerances were non-issues (no preservatives and GMOs like in the US!) I have family members with life-threatening food allergies. I would love to visit Italy in the future with one of them, but it would be risky with their allergies (nuts of all kinds). Have you or anyone you know encountered problems with food allergies, both from store-bought and restaurant-made food?

Ciao!

Happy you enjoyed so much your stay and that you felt so good when you found out you could understand us speaking despite you being "sord*" (we say sordo/sorda =deaf, and "duro/a d'orecchi" =hard-of-hearing, but this last one can be used also idiomatically for people who pretend to not listen). Dunno why you find it easier to understand us than English speakers, maybe it's cause English can be confusing (speaking of specific words pronunciation) sometimes, while Italian's a little less? Idk, but I'm happy you were encouraged by this experience!

I personally don't like Duolingo exactly cause it lacks grammar rules (many people using it contacted me asking for reasons/not knowing what some words were: I think Duo "runs" a bit too forward sometimes/lacks basics) and has some mistakes here and there, but I'm glad you could find ways to get through these issues! Keep learning the way you rather and filling in what's missing :)

As for food, I was talking about this with my nutritionist not long ago and she confirmed me we have different rules from the US when it comes to how food is produced (despite there are ways to get through them sadly -eg. certain food coloring). Anyway, in markets/stores: all ingredients have to be listed on food's packaging (also pre-cooked food/ready-to-eat food) when you buy them so you can read them (nuts are usually very well stated in the list, using bold characters too -as all the possible allergens included, even by chance, in the product). If you're buying from small stores, usually the sellers have to know the ingredients (or will check with you), especially if it's them making those foods. Generally we'll help you out the moment you ask for such an important matter so don't be afraid to ask and maybe confront with the seller if you have doubts (and ofc if you still have doubt... do not take a risk, your dear ones safety comes first).

Look at this example (it's biscuits I bought in a supermarket but ofc all the foods have a similar list on them). Most brands write ingredients in different languages others only in Italian but being those usually bolded you can focus on them and keep a list with you on your phone or sth to check (eg. if something is missing let me know: hazelnut/s = nocciola/e, almond/s = mandorla/e, walnut/s =noce/noci, chestnut/s = castagna/e, peanut/s = arachidi, coconut = noce di cocco, macadamia = macadamia, pistachio = pistacchio, soy nut = soia/noce di soia, pecans = noci pecan, cashew = anacardo/i, pine nut/pinoli = noce di pino, pinolo/i, brazil nut = noce brasiliana, cocoa bean = fava/e di cacao, nutmeg = noce moscata -we may use this one, as pistacchio, in many dishes that are no sweets so keep an eye especially in restaurants as they may add it for flavour for example in ravioli or something, I think most often on pasta and with carne macinata). In the biscuits' list above, the last sentence states: "Può contenere frutta a guscio" = "it may have inside small parts of nuts" it means those biscuits may have "powders" of nuts from a casual contamination: maybe in the same factory they produce other biscuits with nuts (unspecified). I personally don't know if anyone ever had issues with products stating this.

When eating outside, nowadays many restaurants are paying attention to allergies when you state them (as per your experience, most of them ask to know those before serving you), and are preparing foods in different areas/times so to avoid any casual contaminations (eg. gluten-free pizza). Sadly maybe not all of the restaurants are very accurate in this but all are being highly encouraged to do the best on this matter for obvious reasons, so if you ask for the recipe you generally should be knowing what's inside a dish for sure and what else to order (or they can prepare that same dish without an allergen, if possible). My food allergies aren't life-threating so I don't have many worries, I avoid the foods I know that may cause me issues and keep my anthistaminics with me just in case. The only time I tried something not being sure (long ago anyway, we're making progresses these days) I was lucky enough to have my friend-doctor with me and a dose of adrenaline (that ended up not being necessary anyway).

I really hope that when you'll come back with your dear ones you'll be able to have again a great time!

BTW If anyone else wants to add their personal experience please do it in comments, rbs or anything, thanks :)

[filth-burps-writing]

T-shirt

This is inspired by a real conversation me and my girlfriend had. First person POV.

It had been a long three hours. Dance class all day tends to lead to three things; a ravenous appetite, being drenched in sweat and being weirdly horny. Luckily unlike most days my girlfriend was waiting for me when I got home. One week of a parent-free house too. As I stretched and massaged my rubber legs I thought about how I’d be twice as exhausted once the day was over- but plenty energised for antics. I suddenly came up with a bright idea. I whipped out my phone to text her immediately;

“Hey babe. My shirt probably already stinks. If I make it worse on purpose would you wear it tonight?😈”

“Oh my God yes I would love to. Mark me with your scent. I want to be second grossest person in the supermarket tonight.🥰”

Perfect. Four more hours of dance. Now the shirt is sticking to skin all over. But the sweating time wasn’t over. I head to the student gym and hit arm day a little hard than usual. Arousal is the best motivator. Then I have a little pre-dinner at a coffee shop; broccoli Mac and cheese, an americano and a slice of chocolate cake. I love any excuse to eat but this time I’m on a mission. Make myself fart.

Once I’m off the bus I walk home in a cloud of joy. I’m a simple,slobby dude; I like food, sex, being gross and gross people. As I get to the door I grin wildly. My sweet girlfriend answers the door. As per usual she looks stunning. I kiss her on the cheek and say; “ it’s been a long day but I’m willing to make it twice as long for you.”She frets over me and compliments me, as I babble on about all the dumb shit I thought about to pass the time. Mid sentence a small burp falls out of her lips. It sounds so normal these days. I can’t help but shower her with compliments though. Especially with the snack packages I can see on the table. My plan needs to be executed though. I excuse myself to upstairs.

Perfect. I can hear my stomach gurgle. I always have a fart brewing but these will reek. I pull my sweaty t-shirt off, screw it up and shove it in my trousers. Then I push down with my hands clasped on my belly. Sure enough I release four massive farts in a row. Deep, bubbly and long directly into the already smelly shirt. I put on a shirt from my “worn once but not too bad” pile then go downstairs to see her stratching her ear while watching TV. Cutie. I say “hey babe you know what I said earlier about my shirt. Well I’ve stunk out this one for you. I hope you enjoy it.” She buries her nose in and stim-whistles a couple of times then puts on the shirt. “Thank you . This feels so cozy.”

“You look cute babe. Walk to the supermarket , wander around to get dinner, get the bus back then eat and fool around with a space documentary on?” “Could we get the bus both ways? I don’t like crossing the big main road.” “Okay country bumpkin we can avoid the horse machines.” “Says the city boy who gets excited every time he sees a cow”

We stand at the bus stop with my arm around her waist and her arm around my shoulders. I am definitely smirking. Sometimes I cannot control the smirk. She looks at me and blushes. Every time she blushes my heart lights up. As we get on the bus a couple of people turn to look. I pull her to the back and we lean on each other as we sit down. No traffic today so it’s only 12 minutes to the bus station. Before I know it we’re picking out discounted fancy pizzas while she talks about peaky blinders. “Can we get some garlic bread as well? And some sour candy?” “It’s your money” “I know but it has to feed us for four more days” “Can we get hummus” “Of course” she gives me a look. I know what that means. That look means I should apply my empathy to myself.

When we get to the frozen aisle an older man is looking at the frozen vegetables. He stares us down, looking for something to comment on. Then his nostrils flare. As I open the door the freezer with the Ben and Jerry’s he spits out “you gen zeds never bathe. Both of you smell awful. It’s anti social. Get your acts together” at my sweet girlfriend. She starts giggling and I start laughing as well. He picks up his bags and walks away. I keep laughing as I pull her in by the waist. “You smell terrible” I kiss her on the mouth. My stomach burbles and feel a bubble shoot up my throat. I turn my head and let out a medium sized burp. I pull back in give her a huge hug. I can feel that she’s nervous but happy I’m happy.

We both go straight to the kitchen when we get home. I open a bag of rainbow belts and place our pizza and garlic bread in oven while she gets a couple of paper plates out of the packet for us. Then she opens her hummus and starts slicing vegetables. I let out another fart as I retrieve the garlic bread and joke “I need to be re-inflated”. I place cheese on and put it back in the oven then hug her from behind and tie her/my shirt so her belly can be seen. I then kiss her on the forehead and start doing a silly dance to pass the time. When we dish up I’m more generous for myself than usual. Then we set ourselves up in the living and I turn on the TV. Then I ask “can I put my hand down your pants while we eat” “yes but let me get comfy” “ok” she pushes her self into the couch corner then places her food in the gap between her legs. I then fumble with her button and zip and push my hand into underwear and pick up a slice of garlic bread. She’s already hard. I look at her quizzically “you were really confident with that old man and I really like wearing your shirt”. We watch the screen as we eat and I touch various parts of her body.

As a supernova fills the screen I polish off my plate and tap her shoulder. She nods then pulls down her jeans and panties. I sit on her lap and put one hand on her clit and the fingers of the other hand in her mouth. Then I get into a rhythm. Mouth-clit-mouth-clit. She makes such fun faces. Eventually I feel a push and release and she moans directly in my ear. I move my two hands towards her belly. It looks cute, round and gassy. I rub gently below her belly button and she lets out her own loud fart. I kiss her face all over and exclaim “such a good gross girl! I love you!” She’s so cute. I collapse into her and we fall asleep on the couch. She’s mine. She smells like me.

[taronfanfic]

Pause

Masterlist

Chapter 3

Suprises weren’t your forte but after the effort Taron had gone to at the weekend you felt like you needed to up your game. A little something to jazz up an average Tuesday evening. You’d stopped off at the supermarket on your way home from work and picked up the minor bits you needed along with two steaks for your dinner. It was simple enough to cook, but you could still enhance it with small homemade extras like garlic butter, plus rosemary and sea salt on the chips. Taron’s favourites.

“What’s all this?” He asked with surprise as he walked through from the hallway to the open plan kitchen and dining room. You’d lit one too many candles around the room, had a nice bottle of red wine sat waiting to be opened and were listening to your playlist of current favourites as you sliced up the potatoes.

“This? Nothing at all.” You smiled widely at his reaction. “It’s my turn to treat you.”

“God, you’re gonna make the best wife.” Taron dropped his gym bag to the floor as he walked across to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, cuddling into you from behind and letting his chin rest on the top of your shoulder. “Steak and homemade chips, heaven.”

“You’ve got time to shower before this’ll be ready, if you want?”

“I’d rather open the wine and watch you.” He left three quick kisses to your neck before loosening his grip and letting you turn in his arms to face him.

“I’ll still be here when you’re done.” You kissed his lips in reply.

“Urgh, do I really smell that bad?” He whined and you knew exactly why. The idea of joining him in the shower after your cosy, romantic night in was tempting. But when you leant in and smelt him more closely the scrunch on your nose said it all.

“Kinda. Sorry.” You moved your hand up to his chest and pulled his t-shirt away from his skin so you could smell it again. “It’s not terrible, but it’s not quite you either, and I really like the smell of you.”

“Alright.” Taron pouted in defeat, not stepping back until you’d kissed him again.

He picked his gym bag back up and headed up the stairs, taking them two at a time to speed things up, and calling out to you once he’d reached the top.

“I will get to fuck you again in the shower. I don’t know when, but it’s definitely happening.”

It made you laugh to yourself, and he was absolutely right too.

***

“It smells so good down here, is there anything I can do?” Taron announced his fresh arrival. He’d dressed up from the usual post-work relaxed attire and had put on his best fitting jeans with a crisp white t-shirt that clung to his biceps.

“It’s all good over here, but you can open the wine and pass me a glass.”

“Yes, Chef!” He teased before getting to work.

“Thanks for looking hot for me.” You admired him from across the room.

“It’s the least I could do.” Taron took your compliment smoothly as he joined you in the kitchen and clinked his glass against the top of yours. “To…”

“Surprises?” You offered.

“Surprises and making the effort for each other.” He added before leaning in for a quick kiss. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” You took a sip of your wine as you watched over the steaks frying in the pan and found yourself frowning at the taste. “Is this a bottle your Mum gave us for Christmas?”

“Yeah, I think so. Why?” Taron had moved back to the dining table and was now reading the label on the back of the bottle.

“Does it taste weird to you?”

“Weird? No. It’s a screw top too, so it can’t be corked.”

“Oh, ok. Maybe it’ll be better with the food.” You thought aloud, also remembering that you’d last tasted the garlic butter so it was probably that throwing off your senses. It was wine at the end of the day, something you’d never been particular about before but perhaps your age was finally catching up with you and maturing your tastes as well. “Do you think we’ll get to do a wine tasting for Worthingham Hall or do they just supply the best one to match the menu choices?”

“I think it was standard in the package, but it did say something about upgrades for the couple as an add-on. I’m not sure we’re gonna have the budget for many upgrades though, it’s already tight.” Taron had looked through the figures on Sunday afternoon and put together a best estimate. It all added up way too quickly for your liking, especially once the flowers and dress were factored in.

“I was thinking about that earlier…” You paused your sentence as you plated up your meals and took them over to the table.

“This looks amazing, thank you Y/N.” Taron smiled happily across to you before picking up a chip between his fingers and taking a bite off the end.

“I recon my Dad might offer to buy my dress for me. I know it’s not a given, but he’s a proper old romantic at heart and he was a big fan of you from day one.”

“Well I did ask him if I could marry you on day one…” He reminded you softly.

“Exactly.” You still blushed at the thought of it. “So, I was thinking that I’d take the girls with me to find the dress, and then invite my parents down for the fitting and alterations and maybe schmooze them a bit and hope for the best?”

“It’s a plan for sure, but don’t go in too hard. We can do this by ourselves too, and it’s not like we’ve not had to live to a strict budget before. It’s just a few less steaks and meals out for date nights, and a little more Netflix and chill. Then if anyone offers to chip in for things it’s a bonus!”

“Screw the Netflix, you’re always down to chill. I know your plan!” You pointed your knife at him.

“Screw it, or you.” He cocked his head with a smirk. “But later, I’m not letting this go cold.”

The wedding chat continued to flow freely whilst you ate. You were pleasantly surprised by how much you agreed on, and how little you had to flag up as things to come back to later. Maybe all the bickering during the house renovation had served you well and turned you into the dream planning team. You’d settled on the 4th of October for the date, decided Worthinham Hall really was for you after looking up other venues and feeling less than impressed, plus you even had a burgundy colour scheme agreed on. Everything was falling into place perfectly.

Taron had moved a couple of the candles from the dining room through into the living room and set up your favourite blanket ready for you to snuggle under with him. The last of the wine had been poured and a new episode of your favourite drama was waiting to be watched. You felt like the luckiest person in the world as you relaxed into Taron’s side and felt his arm wrap around your shoulders.

“Can we start telling people yet? I know nothing is booked, but it’s all feeling very real and exciting. I was thinking about asking the girls to be my bridesmaids soon.”

“Oh yeah, they absolutely need to know before an invite turns up in the post!” Taron laughed. “Tell them whenever you like. I should give a heads-up to the best man too.”

“Jack?” You weren’t sure why you needed to ask.

“Obviously. I’ll talk to him when we’re next in the pub.”

“Good. Do you mind if we tell them separately? I quite fancy a girly night out and they’ll be so excited.”

“Honestly, please do. I can imagine the screams already.” Taron teased. “Now are we going to watch this, or talk wedding all night?”

“No, I’m good, I’m ready, I’m watching.” You replied quickly as Taron had already started the episode.

It was hard not to get swept up in the wedding world. There was so much to think about and every time you pictured the venue full of your favourite people, Taron dressed up in a gorgeous suit, hearing his vows, holding his hands, kissing him for the first time as his wife and then dancing the night away together you felt a giddiness deep in your stomach like never before. You were sat watching a serious crime drama with a stupid grin on your face that wasn’t going to fade any time soon.

“Another one?” Taron asked as the credits faded up onto the screen.

“I thought you had other plans for the rest of the night?” you replied suggestively.

“Well… you’ve got to be a gentleman about these things sometimes.”

“I don’t.” You cast him a wink as you pulled the blanket off, got to your feet and reached your arm out so he could take your hand. “Woah. I stood up too fast.” You laughed to yourself as the blood rushed from your head and left you dizzy. Taron moved his hands to your hips to steady you.

“Or that wine went to your legs.” It didn’t take him long to lower his hands to your arse. “You good, or do I need to practice carrying you to bed?”

“It’s over the threshold, not to bed.” You laughed. “But if you’re offering?”

“Come on then.” He got to his feet and lifted you smoothly up into his chest so you could wrap your arms over his shoulders and let your feet dangle happily as he carried you up to the bedroom.

“I could get used to that.” You giggled to yourself as he dropped you down on the end of the bed and was quick to pull his white t-shirt off over his head. “You made it look so easy.”

“You’re lucky it wasn’t leg day at the gym, I’d have never made it up those stairs!” His hands fell smoothly to your thighs, parting them around his own as he prowled over you with a hunger in his eyes. He was effortlessly sexy. The waistband of his boxers was visible above his jeans, his bare chest and torso looking slightly toned but not to the extreme, he was still perfectly soft around the edges too. He didn’t need to say another word. He had you in the palm of his hand, willing to do anything he craved without question.

[happyocelot]

🐶🦴

The majority of people in this poll think Inuyasha would like dog biscuits hahaha.

Now, an Inuyasha x Dog Biscuits one-shot...that I had written before I even posted the poll, but whatever...

They bickered all the way to the pet aisle, Inuyasha arguing strongly in favor for Buyo having energy independence and Kagome telling him that she was going to buy 'Purina' for Buyo.

What happened on Kagome's side of the well stayed on Kagome's side of the well.

Kagome's side of the well had these giant metal slabs that people used as vehicles and which often killed other people. They used these 'automobiles' because it was a cinch to travel huge distances within mere hours. It turned out, Kagome's mother didn't like these vehicles too much, because Kagome's dad had died in an accident involving one, and that finally explained why Inuyasha never saw him around.

Inuyasha puffed out his chest as he realized that with him on this side of the well, there was no need for Kagome to rely on those flying chunks of death metal anyway. He could travel fast and if she really wanted to, he could piggyback her wherever she wanted to go.

And where she wanted to go was the 'supermarket.'

On Inuyasha's side of the well, they all had to pick herbs by hand, grow crops from the field, and hunt whatever they wanted to eat.

On Kagome's side of the well, all someone needed to do was go to the supermarket and get whatever they wanted. It was convenient, according to her.

Inuyasha didn't see how.

Thousands of smells assaulted him all at once, the lights were too bright, there were signs written in some script he didn't understand and even the Japanese looked very different from what he was used to, and besides, the neatly stacked rows of packages and boxes and containers were just begging to be knocked over...

"Come on, Inuyasha," Kagome said, tugging him along with her. "The cat food's over on this aisle."

"Why doesn't Buyo catch his own food?" Inuyasha asked.

Kagome sighed. "Look, if you want to make sure he's having a healthy diet, cat food's the best option."

"Why? Kirara's fine and she catches her own food."

"Kirara's a demon slaying cat."

"So?"

They bickered all the way to the pet aisle, Inuyasha arguing strongly in favor for Buyo having energy independence and Kagome telling him that she was going to buy 'Purina' for Buyo.

"And just what's Purina supposed to be? Some sort of – "

His thoughts were derailed as they finally reached the section of the supermarket that had cat food.

Inuyasha's jaw dropped.

"LOOK, KAGOME, LOOK!" He sprinted over to a jumbo-sized package of 'Purina' that had a life-sized, realistic picture of an adorable, grey, striped...

She laughed at the radiant joy and wonder on his face.

Yeah, he was a cat person. So what if he was an inu hanyo?

He would sacrifice his life for that cat.

"Yep, that's a cute kitten. Now move over, Inuyasha, I have to..."

He dashed off into the dog food section, salivating at a rack of Gravy Trains and Milkbones.

Kagome stuck a pack of Purina into her shopping bag and stared after him.

She didn't know if this would end well or not.

The good news was that Inuyasha didn't accidentally burn down the building, get into a fight with anyone, or do anything particularly strange, violent, or disruptive.

The bad news was that he had decided he wanted to eat fifty packages of Milkbone dog biscuits. She was about to scold him and tell him to put them back, but he had such an uncharacteristic hopeful little puppy look in his eyes that she decided to let it go.

He had a terrible childhood, Kagome, a voice in her head exclaimed. Just let him have his biscuits.

Besides, Inuyasha was cute when he was hopeful. His eyes went all bright and sparkly and she felt a sudden strong urge to buy a frisbee and throw it in the opposite direction for him to chase.

He would like it too, no matter how much he'd deny it.

So she found herself giving the cashier a sheepish giggle while emptying her purse. Inuyasha's Milkbone cravings had destroyed her monthly allowance.

Inuyasha shoveled mouthful after mouthful into his mouth as soon she she paid, looking for all the world as though he were a child promised a lifetime of free ice cream, blissfully unaware of the stares curious onlookers were shooting him.

"'y za way, K'gome," he said in the midst of a dangerous technique known as 'speaking with food lodged in his trachea.' "Wha're 'ey called?"

She raised an eyebrow.

Come on, they were in the pet food aisle. It wasn't hard to put two and two together. She assumed he'd known and just didn't care.

"Uh, Inuyasha, those are dog biscuits."

He froze in horror.

***

"So, Inuyasha, how where things over there?" Shippo asked. "Didja get anything for me? Any nice food? Had fun?"

He shuddered.

There were some things he would never tell anyone. Ever.

That he'd downed fifty packages of Milkbone dog biscuits and then gotten a serious case of indigestion and vomiting was one.

[spectascopes]

Without a Second Thought - Chapter 2

Undertale Fanfiction (Gen, SFW) No relationships or pairings Tags (from AO3): Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma, Mental Health Issues, Gender-Neutral Frisk, Trust Issues, Sans is a Mess, Good Parent Toriel, Toriel is Frisk’s Mom, Manipulation, Flowey isn’t a great friend, but nobody is surprised, Soriel Lightly Implied, Past Child Abuse, Narrator Chara, Major Character Injury, Injury Recovery, Crying, lots and lots of crying, Reader is Frisk Link to AO3 version

“You got through the Underground with the help of a ghostly companion nobody else could see, and you made a lot of friends along the way, but Chara didn’t come with you into the sunlight.

Now you have a new mom, and a new family, but no extra brain to help you make the right choices. It might have lasted, too, if you hadn’t messed it up.”

Chapter 1

“Which brand of biscuits would you like, my child?” Toriel asked.

You looked up at the store shelves. It was noon on a Saturday and the supermarket was bustling with humans and monsters alike. 

“THE RED BOX HAS A PUZZLE ON THE BACK!” Papyrus said. “I STRONGLY RECOMMEND IT. EASY WORK FOR A MASTER OF MY CALIBER, AND HELPING THE MOUSE GET TO THE CHEESE IS EMOTIONALLY FULFILLING!”

“nah get the blue kind, they taste better,” Sans said from Papyrus’s cart. He was too big to fit in the seat for kids, so he was just sitting flat in the bottom of it with food piled on top of him, propped up enough against the front that he could get his arms out.

“YOU SHOULDN’T THINK WITH YOUR STOMACH, SANS! SOMEBODY PUT A LOT OF EFFORT INTO THAT PUZZLE!”

“it’s puzzling they didn’t put more effort into the crackers.”

“Maybe… both?” you suggested. Toriel, laughing at Sans’s silly pun, smiled and grabbed one of each box.

“huh. thats one way to do it.”

“I SUPPOSE IF YOU BUY TWO CAKES YOU CAN HAVE ONE AND EAT IT, TOO... THOUGH IT FEELS A LITTLE UNETHICAL.”

“I think that saying is just for things that you can’t buy more of,” you said as you all walked along. Papyrus’s shopping technique seemed to be grabbing random items and hoping for the best as he followed Toriel- list organized and ready- around the store. Sans made a game of putting things into the cart without his brother noticing, so he was covered in miscellaneous junk that would inevitably have to be returned to the right place.

“OH, LIKE FRIENDS! OR LOVE… OR A VINTAGE MTT FIGURINE THAT WAS RELEASED IN A LIMITED RUN BUT A FIRE AT THE WAREHOUSE SCORCHED ALL BUT A SINGLE, BEAUTIFUL RECTANGLE.” Papyrus made doe-eyes at nothing but quickly shook himself from his gay thoughts. “FRIENDS, THOUGH, I THINK THAT’S IT!”

“Yeah, like that,” you confirmed.

“why would you have a friend and wanna eat them, too? that’s pretty weird.” Sans reached over and plucked a package of tortillas from right under his brother’s metaphorical nose. “you don’t wanna eat us, pal… right?” Sans asked with a sly smile. “only monsters that ever wanted to do that were the dogs. they’d’ve done it without paws .”

You smiled as Papyrus groaned loudly. 

“WELL THEY HAD BAD TASTE IN CANNIBALISM CANDIDATES; SKELETONS JUST TASTE LIKE BONES! AND MAYBE SKINCARE PRODUCTS IF THEY ARE ME AND NOT YOU! BESIDES, FRISK LICKED MY FOREARM DURING A ROWDY TRUTH OR DARE AT UNDYNE’S HOUSE SO THEY KNOW BONES DON’T TASTE VERY GOOD!”

“Frisk did what?” Toriel asked. Sans stifled a laugh with a gloved hand while you blushed up at your mom’s piercing stare.

—

You waited until mom was in the living room and sleeping on her chair- it was just about a nightly occurrence and it made you happy to listen to her softly snoring in front of the fireplace.

Tonight you wouldn't get to, though, as you quietly opened the backdoor.

"Finally! Ugh! Is she asleep?" Flowey huffed at once, sticking up his stem as much as he could. It wasn't much. He came to about your thighs.

"She's on her chair, yeah," you said. You had a deep feeling of unease in your chest, but you'd already agreed and you'd be a filthy liar if you said you weren't a little curious. 

"Great! Where's my pot?"

"Uhm, most people call it weed I think-"

"HA HA HA!" he fake-laughed as you reached down beside the door and grabbed the ceramic flowerpot you used to bring him inside and save the floors from Flowey-holes. He paused, an idle smile on his face. "Okay, alright, I guess that was a little bit funny."

You snickered and squatted down- he uprooted himself as much as he could and you dug your hands into the now-soft dirt and scooped him up the rest of the way. 

"We have to be quiet, okay? She usually sleeps for a couple hours but it's only nine, she could get back up," you said as you deposited your seedy friend into his container.

"She's built like a truck, we'll hear her coming," Flowey dismissed.

"Hey-"

"Relax, relax! It's a neutral statement, I wish I was that big." He patted your hand and you picked him up, puffing your cheeks at his insulting statement. Then again, she was pretty large... better for hugs.

You crept back into your bedroom where you had your laptop charged and ready for whatever Flowey had planned. 

"Where's the stuff you said you were bringing?"

"I got it in my roots, it's just a flash drive with some data. As long as you can summon your SAVE we should be good."

Once you were inside with the door only cracked a little- so you could hear your truck mom coming- you sat your friend on the ground where he quickly produced a tiny metal stick, wrapped up in a couple leaves.

You looked at it and frowned. You were really, really not sure about this, and you were growing less sure by the minute. You looked towards the door.

"Hey, I can see those anxious little eyeballs, you can't back out now!" Flowey reprimanded with a leaf-slap to your leg. You sat down further, legs crossed, back against your bed. "You promised!"

"I mean- I explicitly didn’t? I don't think I-"

"Okay but I don't care, I'll be really sad if you do!"

You looked at him. He was pouting, and you could tell this was a little important to him, but he'd also genuinely tried to kill you, so you weren't super keen on indulging every last one of his whimsies. Still...

"I said I'd let you look. That's it," you said firmly. You held out your hands in front of you.

"And that's all we need, friend!" he chirped, vibrating in excitement. "Lemme see it!"

"Shh, it's hard to summon, give me a second," you said as you closed your eyes. Flowey remained quiet.

How to get your soul into the spirit of this... usually it wasn't hard to SAVE, but there was no real reason to now and that made it a little difficult to be determined...

"Your mom... back from dust..." he whispered dramatically.

"Okay, shush!"

-

The thought of having cool powers fills you with DETERMINATION .

-

You opened your eyes and saw the bright yellow light, same as always. You didn't immediately save- and you didn't think you wanted to. No point in it, you were not going to reset no matter what. Having up-to-date save states didn't matter.

"Oooooh," Flowey cooed, turning his head this way and that to look at it better. "Yours is a little different than mine was, it's way yellower. Mine was kinda more... spoiled-milk-colored."

"Ew," you said immediately. You looked down at the flower who was already using his vines to drag your laptop from its place against the side of your dresser.

"Okay, okay, so-" he said as he flipped open the top and fiddled with things, putting his tiny drive into the USB slot. "The game is made up of data, right?"

"Sure. I hate when you call it a game, but sure."

"Not the point," he said, continuing to type with his leaves and a couple little vine tendrils. The way he stuck his stupid little plant tongue out would have been cute if he wasn't being manipulative. "The point is that it's all numbers. Values. I've looked at some stuff I had from my last SAVE- I always kept track of it- and I know what numbers tie to which things."

"Does one of them tie to resetting?" you asked, watching your yellow star. You wanted Flowey to just get on with it.

"Nope, that's something you have to do manually. Just changing a value won't apply it, you have to reboot, essentially."

"I don't understand computer stuff that well."

"Neither do I, but I know what I need to know!" he said, and then he pushed the laptop out of the way enough to look back at the SAVE. "Can you see the numbers?"

"No..."

“Of course you can’t, you have pathetic human eyes," he said, closely observing the SAVE, very intent on it. "I guess magic comes a lot more naturally to monsters- but it’s probably cause I'm a freak abomination, honestly." 

"...okay?"

Flowey looked a moment longer before glancing at the screen. He kept looking back and forth, staring at something in your SAVE that you couldn't see. You were paying more attention to the sound of the fire and snoring and straining to hear absolutely anything else.

"Okay, gimme your finger. Let's alter some numbers."

"You didn't even say what they do?" you whispered. That noise was the fire, right?

"It would just go over your head- it's altering some of your data through the SAVE." He held out a thin vine to you. "I've seen Sans and Papyrus's data and I know how their weird powers tie into their values, so I think I can just poke at yours to give you some, too!"

"Is that safe?"

"They're both fine, aren't they?" Flowey asked. He rolled his eyes. "It's really nothing to worry about, just don't close the SAVE before I'm finished or something will get messed up. It'll only take a minute."

You chewed your lip, looking at the vine. "Flowey, I don't know-"

"Come on, the worst that'll happen is you can teleport like Sans when we're done! Or do that weird... air-walky thing Papyrus does sometimes. That I'm not even sure he knows he can do."

"Can you change it back if it messes anything up?" you asked. Even if Flowey was the monster-… flower you cared about disappointing the least, you still cared a little bit. To be honest, though, you really didn't want to do this.

"Yeah! As long as you don't close me out before I'm done, cause then I won't know exactly what I changed and I don't have the days it takes to copy down a whole SAVE!"

You listened again, but all you heard was the fireplace. The room was cast in a harsh yellow light- if anybody peeked in, they'd for sure know something was going on.

"Frisk, c’mon! This could be really really helpful, and you can't be a wimpy invertebrate your whole life!"

"Okay, fine, just- just do it fast," you said, and you put your hand down for his vine to guide.

You watched the hallway as he used your fingers to change numbers. The shadows fell in such a way that you wouldn't know somebody was out there until they were right outside- Toriel's footsteps were loud enough to hear as soon as she got up, so it was fine. Everything was fine! You felt like crying, but you felt like that half the time anyway. God, you didn't want to do this anymore.

"Okay, just a few more, your hand is sweaty," Flowey said.

You didn't listen to him, just the fireplace. 

Wait. You froze, Flowey no longer able to move your hand around.

Just the fireplace- why had mom stopped snoring?

"Frisk, what the hell-"

A shadow fell in front of the door and a familiar voice sent ice down your spine.

"yo, kiddo, surprise- left my spray cheese in your grocery bag- anyway your mom wants to know if-"

Sans pushed the door open to find you and Flowey cast in yellow, a deer caught in the headlights and a pissed off plant.

"Wh- hey! Ever heard of knocking, dude?" Flowey yelled.

Sans didn't say anything. He’d looked at Flowey for only a moment before-

He was looking at you. He was looking at you- right at you- expression starting on shock, to fear, to- to-

You burst into tears and shut your SAVE at once.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Flowey- he- I'm sorry, please-"

"FRISK! I told you not to close it, what- I didn't finish! Fuck, no, this isn't good-"

"were you gonna reset?"

The lights in his eyes were gone. You felt like your gut was collapsing in on itself- why was Sans here? Why him? Why him? You didn't care about Flowey or your SAVE.

"No! No, no I swear- he just- he wanted to look at it a-and try to change some- some data or-"

"just curious, huh?" he asked, the anger- the betrayal- so clear on his ever-smiling face. The nonchalance of the accusation only made it worse. "just kinda messin' around, hoping for the best?" You'd never seen him look like that and you thought it would kill you.

"Shut up, Trashbag, this is serious!"

"yeah. it is."

"I didn't- I didn't mean to-"

Sans closed his eyes. This couldn't be happening. This was the one thing he was sensitive about- the one single thing you knew would make him genuinely upset-

"look, kid. you do you, break your promises, whatever, but. but keep me and my brother out of it, okay?" Sans turned around, his words harsh and his voice tight. "later."

"Wait!" you shouted as you lunged towards him, knowing what was about to happen, but he shortcutted away. No no no no- you somehow overshot the lunge and slammed your head into the wall, double-vision letting you see two empty spaces where your friend had just been. 

Where he'd just left you. No. No no. No-

"Shit- that's bad, that's real bad- Frisk, stop fucking crying, I have to try and-"

"GET OUT!" you screamed, putting your hands to your ringing ears. "I don't care, get out!"

"Your data is-"

"GO AWAY!" you sobbed. Flowey started to protest again, but then the sound of pounding feet down the hall started. He swore, and the next thing you knew Toriel was scooping you into her arms. She was talking to you, but your chest hurt. It hurt. Everything hurt so much and you couldn't get enough air into your lungs. It'd been so long since you'd had a panic attack that it felt like you were dying.

The way he'd looked at you- the anger- the hurt- you shut everything out because you didn't know how to deal with this. It couldn't happen here- it couldn't- where would you go? Sans- Papyrus- and then they'd tell- and-

You stayed curled up into a ball until you tired yourself to exhaustion. Mom held you the whole time, cooing, petting your hair. 

Nobody was here to make them like you anymore, and you'd finally messed it up bad enough for them to realize. 

[nickgerlich]

The Steaks Are High

I remember all too well that time in the early-1970s when there was a spike in the price of beef. My Dad the Accountant was also the primary shopper in the family, and he knew the price of every grocery product in Chicagoland. Well, it seemed like he did, because back when gas was cheap, it was actually prudent to cherry-pick a few items here, a few more there, and so forth. In the end, the cupboards and refrigerator were filled.

But the price of beef scared him into a new reality, because he could not find anyone with what he saw as a competitive price. Instead, he had read about some newfangled soybean burgers that were packed in protein, cost less than beef, and were quite possibly the future of dining.

He bought some, and I can still recall the taste of cardboard. They were horrible, not even close to the real deal. It was also the first time I had ever knowingly encountered soybeans as food, which was ironic because our house sat right at the edge of a soybean farm on the far southern reaches of Chicagoland. I had no clue what they used them for.

Skip forward to the 1990s, and food science had done a complete makeover on what we now know as veggie burgers (thank you, marketing!). They actually tasted pretty good, and when dressed properly, were a reasonable substitute. If you were vegan, vegetarian, an ethical consumer, or just wanting to try something different, they were legit.

More recently, Beyond and Impossible have introduced the best versions of meat substitutes yet. They are truly lab foods, and are now reaching ubiquity in supermarkets and restaurants. The mouth feel, the redness, even the juices spilling forth, are the closest approximations yet of a beef burger on the grill. They are so close that the cattle industry is rightfully a little nervous, and in some states, their lobbying groups have pushed for legislation regulating basic food terms, such as “meat,” “beef,” and others. Gotta keep those consumers from becoming confused, you know.

Lab foods require over-the-top marketing, though. It’s one thing to buy a garment made from a different fabric, or any number of other consumables. But when it comes to the things we put in our mouth, you better be careful. I recall my ultra cycling years, primarily the 1980s and 1990s, but a little into this century. If you wanted to be competitive, you had to consume sports nutrition on the fly. This meant no burgers and burritos, because they can do a stomach bad when racing. Food scientists, though, came through and brought us innovative products like Ultra Energy, which they touted as being “pre-digested.”

Now if there is any word or phrase that can turn a stomach, it is “pre-digested.” It just sounds bad. Never mind it simply meant the powdered concoction, once reconstituted with water, would be absorbed quickly within the body, allowing for a continuous source of energy. Drink one of these every hour (550 calories), and you’ll be able to go day and night.

It still sounded like yuck, and we all called it Ultra Eulogy. Where were the marketers when they needed it? The name was good, but the other print on the package was a death wish as far as branding goes. Today, manufacturers such as Hammer Nutrition have worked out the kinks as well as the taste, and they skip all the nasty verbiage and focus instead on the results.

Which brings me to the dinner table finally, and the talk last week about lab-grown meat is once again making headlines. It is coming soon, thanks to a new FDA ruling giving it the green light. It’s just that, once again, the food scientists have been doing all the business planning.

Even out here in West Texas, people are OK with some folks eating Beyond and Impossible. You can find them everywhere. But lab-grown meat? That might just be taking things too far. Cattle ranchers know that the vegans and vegetarians among us will likely always be just a small percentage of the population, and even the others who want to try one occasionally are a blip on the radar.

But these new “meats” will be aimed squarely at carnivores, meaning that all those ranchers and feedlot owners will be shaking in their boots far more than any veggie burger might make them uneasy.

The arguments in favor of lab meat are multiple. The meats, which are cultivated from animal cells, can be produced without ethical consideration of creatures crammed into small pens. The carbon footprint is much smaller, right down to the fact it takes six pounds of feed to produce one pound of beef at the feedlot. And let’s not forget the unpleasant smell, which some folks around here argue is the smell of money. It’s at that time I invoketh Shakespeare. “Cow poop by any other name would smell as pungent.” Or something like that.

In case you’re wondering, lab-grown meat is not a total panacea, because vegans and vegetarians still will not eat it, because animal cells. But will the other 95%? It’s going to take some serious marketing to take the lab out of the lab-grown meat so that people feel like they are eating something good, about as much of a challenge those soybean burger makers faced in the 70s.

Consumers don’t have to worry just yet about mistaking it at the supermarket—that time will come, though—but these new products will start appearing in restaurants. And you know what? You might not even know it. Heck, it took federal legislation a few years ago to force chains with 20 or more units to list calorie counts on menu items. Do you think a restaurant is going to put the word “lab” anywhere on the menu?

I think not.

And you thought that GMO foods was a big deal. I am betting that lab meat will elicit howls of disapproval across the country, especially in cattle-rich West Texas. It’s one thing to make the vegans and vegetarians happy, but it is quite another to let a bunch of scientists start whittling away at your livelihood, the one thing for which this part of Texas is best known.

Heck, they may as well just have a 72-ounce tofu challenge over at the Big Texan. That idea, while offered in jest, is about as under-cooked as the lab meat coming our way. At least for now.

Dr “I’ll Pass” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[chellyisacreampuff]

Sunday, 17 Nov

Woke up too late, so left my home really late for my trip, so everything got so late (and dark)

Went to Lawson to get snacks and some drink. They're having special offer right now that you get two bottles of GEORGIA Coffee when you buy something. So now I have two bottles of coffee/latte at home xD

Was video calling my family on my way, chatting and showing them around (in the dark...)

Photos of the landscape will follow but for now, look at Neko-chan! And the little goat that I found randomly. I still have no idea why it was there... But it was on a leash and there was a stall with chickens nearby

Had hamburger steak and beef steak, and chocolate banana parfait at Steak Miya. The steaks come with noodles (lol) and corn. It gets served on a sizzling hot plate. The waiter pours the sauce freshly over your steak if you want and they even wipe clean the sides of the plate, lol. The hamburg was really nice and juicy, the steak was okay. Could have gotten salad from the salad bar but only realised after ordering the parfait, so I was too full for salad.

Mister Donut has a special offer currently, Pokemon themed donuts. Of course I had to try it out! Passed by a shopping mall with a Misdo on my way back and was lucky enough to get some pokemon donuts even though it was almost closing time

The pokeball donut was good; the red was some fruity tasting sugar crystals but the white side tasted better, being some kind of creamy chocolate glazing; 3/5. The pikachu donut had Japan's favourite combination as a filling: white cream and custard cream, with chocolatey glazing, was very delicious, 4/5. The "traditional" or "old-fashioned" donut was surprisingly delicious, simple but great, 4/5. Glad I got them, so much better than the Halloween special editions. And all the designs are とてもかわいい。(fourth piece is for tomorrow)

Delicious sweet potato pudding. They used actual baked sweet potato paste, and only milk, cream, eggs, and sugar, no artificial ingredients and you can really taste the quality. It's like fluid baked sweet potato... 👀

It's produced in my prefecture Ibaraki and from a shop in Tsukuba apparently, even though I bought it at the Kasumi supermarket. It's so special that they had to stress it on their package xD But it really does taste delicious, so 4/5

[harrison-abbott]

James Jep

Lots of people thought Jep was crazy. I always thought he was different, but not crazy. He certainly wasn’t judgemental – like all of the folks who judged him. And he grew up two streets away from me, so he was a proper neighbourhood lad. Perhaps that was the main reason I wanted to help him. But, shhh. I’m not supposed to tell anybody this.

It started for real – the modern spate of ‘crazy’ incidents – when Jep lost consciousness in the supermarket. None of us actually saw it; so we had to rely on verbal accounts from other people. And there were differing versions of the story.

Somebody said that he fainted because of the heat. Another person said that he had a seizure, due to his heavy alcohol drinking. Either way, he definitely conked out in the middle of the shop floor, and he whacked his head off the nearby shelf. He cut his head when he landed.

The security guard had seen the fall on one of his camera screens. And then came to find out what happened. He pulled Jep up by the shoulders. And Jep gradually woke up. To find this blood all over the floor and down his shirt. He panicked. Jep was afraid of the security guard because he was scared of men in fluorescence anyway. So he shot up.

Lots of people had stopped and were looking at him. Jep started singing. What did he sing? Somebody said it was a Rolling Stones song, others said it was a classic ABBA track. But, yes, he started belting out this song, with this gash on his forehead, and he ran out bleeding from the supermarket.

And then didn’t come home for over two days.

I went around to his place to see him because I was concerned. He had a plaster on his head. And he looked ill.

“Did you go to the hospital, Jep?” I asked.

“For what?”

“For the knock on your face.”

“Ah. Nah, it’s just a little mark.”

“It doesn’t look little …”

“Meh.”

“And what’s this stuff about you singing?”

“Huh?”

“You were singing an ABBA song.”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

That was when he was in his kitchen, sitting at the table with his grey skin and mindless eyes. I didn’t see him again for ten days.

Until I saw him in my back garden. He banged on my living room window whilst I was inside, reading a book, and I can’t remember the last time I got such a fright. I got up and opened the window.

“Jep! What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Hey, Sam. They’re after me.” He was sweating and panting. “Can I come in?”

I couldn’t exactly refuse him. He smelled of chemicals and his breathing was hoarse and he sat down behind the door and hugged his knees. And again repeated that They were after him. “Who is after you, Jep? You’re not making any sense.”

“You know who, Sam! The people we’ve been terrified of our entire lives. But I didn’t do anything. They can’t peg a crime on me. They’ll try. But I know I’m innocent.”

He trembled on the carpet, huddled and shaking. I sat on the couch and looked at him. And just as I was about to offer him a glass of water [this being all I could think to do at the present moment], the front doorbell rang. Jep jumped, as if he’d been shocked.

“Did you tell them I was here?” he whispered.

“No …”

“Oh. Sam – not you as well.”

“I don’t know who it is, Jep.”

I crossed to the other side of the living room and looked out the window into the front garden. There was the postman waiting at the front door with a parcel.

“Jep. It’s just the postie. For Christ’s sake. Hang on a second.”

I went down the corridor and opened the front door and the postman handed me the package and we thanked each other and I just the door and that was it.

When I got back into the living room, Jep wasn’t there anymore. He’d left through the back garden door, which was slightly ajar … and when I went into the back garden there was no sign of him. I called his number but he never picked up.

The next I heard of him was through another friend. Who called me up one evening.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey. What’s up. Have you heard about Jep?”

“No? What did he do now?”

“He robbed the petrol station.”

We didn’t have to rely on word of mouth this time. Because they’d caught it on CCTV and it was on the news. Jep had run in to the little store by the petrol station, with a bread knife, and had ordered the girl clerk to put the till money in a bin bag. Jep hadn’t even bothered to wear a mask.

The clerk was terrified but she was bemused as well because there was hardly any cash in the counter. She threw the measly pile of notes and coins in the bin bag and then Jep escaped with it.

Now the police are looking for Jep.

Nobody knows where he is.

The police came around to my house the other days. Since I’m his friend. I’ve never been questioned by the authorities before and to have these suspicious aggressive men in your home is unnerving.

During the questioning, they kept referring to him as James. Which is his real name. I actually don’t remember how Jep got his nickname. It’s been so long that he was known as Jep that it was odd to hear him be called James.

I think it was because of this old collie dog that used to live around the block. Except, that dog didn’t quite live anywhere, due to its constant roaming and ceaseless energy. It was a real fun dog – used to play football with us – and his name was Jep. The dog was totally insane. He never stopped running or snarling or doing something manic. We were half scared of the canine and half in love with him.

He’d often steal our football in his teeth and dart away with it – when he got annoyed that he wasn’t getting enough attention with the ball.

His intense energy levels only stopped when he got hit and killed by a car out on the main motorway. And the driver, whoever it was, never even stopped, and just left Jep lying there on the concrete.

Jep the boy, the human, was almost as frantic and restless as Jep the dog. We knew that when we were kids. And so somebody called James Jep, one day, and the nickname stuck and resonated. The way good nicknames often do.

[byanyan]

@bothfeetinthegrave sent:ㅤ[ COOKIES ]: the sender and the receiver spend the night in the kitchen decorating cookies together. (( Eden decorated cookies would be a disaster, but a disaster I'm here for ))

wintery promptsㅤㅤ∘ ˚ ( accepting )

ㅤthey're not really sure why they bothered to steal a dumb little package of pre-made "decorate your own" holiday cookies while they were swiping snacks at the supermarket earlier. maybe some part of them, long buried, still craves silly little traditions which they've never actually had. ...or, more likely, they feel the urge to desecrate the holiday and don't really feel like risking getting arrested by setting fire to a christmas tree or two this year. whatever the case may truly be, they're here now, in their room at the group home with several disgustingly cheerful looking cookies spread out across a low table, with a rather unexpected eden sitting across from them.

ㅤㅤ" will you even be able to eat any'a these? "ㅤquestion paired with a suitably skeptical raise of an eyebrow as they shoot their companion a look across the table, byan's attention promptly returns to the tree shape they've pulled to their side. ...as well as the large iridescent combat knife they have grasped in their hand. with no warning, they drive the blade through the cookie with so much force that it breaks into several pieces, and the knife itself ends up embedded in the table's surface. reaching for a packet of red icing, which they tear open with their teeth, and leaving the weapon standing upright, a chunk of cookie is tossed into their mouth and chased with a squeeze of cheap frosting.

ㅤㅤ" not that i was really plannin' to share anyway, but... "ㅤmouth full as they speak now, the teen shrugs.ㅤ" these things're pretty shit, dunno that i want t' eat them all on my own. "ㅤgaze shifting from their masterpiece to that which eden is working on with far more diligence, they watch for a long moment as his pale fingers carefully push icing out of the packet and onto the cookie. it looks like he's really trying, and trying to be neat about it at that, but a fair amount of the colour has failed to follow the shape correctly, has mixed with the other colours, or has simply been squeezed out onto the table.

if nothing else, it's unique. arguably more interesting than their disaster.

ㅤㅤ" plus side is, they'll taste the same no matter what they look like. "ㅤwith a teasing lilt in their voice, byan flashes a crooked little grin and pops another broken piece of cookie into their mouth.ㅤ" neither of us can really make 'em any worse. 'n you can always fix yours up with some sprinkles — sprinkles fix everything. ...'less i eat 'em all first, that is. "