#but i guess it's doubt?

[dreadfutures]

.

I love Solas, and I love Solavellan, because I find the character and story so compelling, but sometimes I feel like a fake Solavellan

to me Ixchel and Solas has kind of always been about two friends who both suffer from the same affliction and they are the only two people who can ever understand it, the affliction being outside (duty, responsibility, guilt) and inside (inherent fatalism in philosophy, viewing the self as unworthy, haunted by despair) and though

they can't at first forgive themselves or find the strength within them to stay out of their dark spirals, they can do it for the other. and how important that is. that's love. the smooching and everything is on top. the knowing what dark predators haunt the other person's psyche and saying I'll be there with you when the wolves come, we'll survive together. the I know exactly who you are and how ugly it is and I love you for it and I see the beauty still. the I will never get tired of you even if youre never "fixed." that's love right. that's Ixchel and Solas to me.

so like yeah they have been Together for about like 170+ chapters. they're not being tested about being pulled apart by duty or fear anymore, they're testing the strength of that bond in those dark ugly moments that come for us all. and mostly theyre good. mostly they're just on an adventure together.

somehow it feels like I'm a fake Solavellan 🥲 like early dpdf captured something and... getting together, having truths revealed, this *aftermath* is like I left that behind somehow. like it's beyond what Solavellans want. idk. I think about other fics that are post- truth coming out and staying together and they're very different vibes, I think, you know?

I like my action/adventure fic, I like them together, I like having moments where they find that there is still a dark corner they haven't swept out into the light yet and the way it's still scary for someone to want to know those ugly parts of you that they maybe haven't seen yet. I like having them be mostly utterly confident in each others competency. I like them united against the unknown together. but like did everything about them peak in Here Lies the Abyss, you know? or maybe Wycome? I'm so nervous about everything in TBG :'( it's just hard for me RN in my heart idk to feel confident of like. where it Fits into fandom besides "blue loves lore and wants to explore metaphysics with Ixchel (new perspective) and Solas (wise, experienced guide)"

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[ahotknife]

the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself

[marc--chilton]

wilson would be like "i'm not smart like you but i can hold a conversation with you at least" when house comes to him to bounce ideas off of, not realizing that house thinks of the two of them like this

[toboldlymuppet]

gripped by fear

my piece for dark waters, an op angst zine

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

[letraspal]

“How much kissing would there have been? If I’d figured it out sooner?”

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Hi!! Your Cherik is so good and gorgeous 🤩🤩 If you don't mind wanna try to draw some Fall of X Cherik please?

thank you so much !!

i have a couple of ideas relating to the fall of x period specifically since theres. A Lot i wanna play with, so i hope this lil thing may be a satisfactory start :]]

and the obligatory bonus:

[nuclearanomaly]

He didn't get the memo...

[margieargie]

Wasn't the biggest fan of the starting clothes so i figured I'd just sell them off for quick early cash and uh...

i'm starting to get the feeling the perma-underwear you have isn't actually there in-character...

some people approve.

some... don't.

(apparently this is also a naked comment too so count another in the "approve(?)" category I guess)

[stuckinapril]

It really is so true that you never know what someone’s going through behind closed doors. I’ve made being gentle and kind my default bc I’ve had super put together friends disclose the most harrowing time of their lives to me and it’s like oh?? You were going through that???? I would’ve never guessed

[szynkaaa]

Pingping is very cute, I wished we got more scene with the "real" her. In chapter 5 she hides and clings onto the Destined One few times and also calls him 好哥哥 (litereally transaltion good big brother).

In my head, with Oz she is the one who freed Pingping in her fox form fangling from the tree while the Destined One was battling. And seeing as there is another girl there, Pingping clings onto Oz and calls her 好姐姐 (big sister), despite Pingping being 500+ years older than Oz.

The Destined One is having none of that :d and that's how the Red Boy figured out his weakness

me too, Pingping, me too

also love how couple seconds before that when Pingping turns around to talk to the Destined One he visibly jumped back LMFAO

[hyakunana]

When you need to lie, but you're a good boy.

[the-puffinry]

look at this egyptian (80 CE-100 CE) figurine of a cat playing the lyre

[moonchild-in-blue]

Have you ever noticed how Vessel has never actually said the words "I love you"? Like. He says it many, many times - each breath he takes is a confession - but he has never said it.

It's always "my love is / as (...)", "I'm full of the love you want", "like lovers", "your love", "(...) falling in love with me". The closest we get is "I made loving you (...)". Which still isn't quite the same as saying I love you.

It's almost like he needs to put some sort of barrier between what he feels and what he knows it's the truth to lessen the blow. Because he does love them, and will continue to do so, forevermore. No matter the cost of rain, through death. He's theirs unconditionally, even if it hurts him, right?

But they don't feel the same. He knows that. He begs for it, for them to fall for him, to take a bite, show him what it's like.

Vessel knows that they want his love, companionship, worship, whatever you want to call it, the way a wolf wants its prey. He knows that they keep him around, keep pretending to be falling in love with him, merely as play thing, a means to an end. He knows all of this and keeps loving anyway, knowing that his love doesn't matter.

You don't really love,

you just hate to be alone.

Because hiding behind big, fancy, flourished phrases like "I'll live like I've got missing limbs for you", and "My arms belong around you", and "We go beyond the farthest reaches", and -

And you know I'll be yours Just want to be worth it I will run like the wind till you follow me again

- is much easier than to admit the very simple and pathetic three-worded truth, knowing it is not reciprocated. Not anymore at least (if ever).

If what they say is "Nothing is forever", then what makes love the exception?

[freckleslikestars]

FARSCAPE | 1.06 Thank God It's Friday, Again.

[cactuupng]

math's hard