#but i feel so fat
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I want to be so proud of myself for getting better but being a normal weight make me feel like shit
I wish I didn't constantly care about my weight or how my tummy looks
#recovery#actually ed#anorexia#bulimia#feeling gross#i wish i could be proud of myself#but i feel so fat#but idk#i wish i didn't hate what i see in the mirror#actually traumatized#actually mentally abused
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!!!!!!!!
#wnna Relapse#but its Easier 2 b sexualized when i weigh more#but i feel So fat#and also i Hate eating#and also iWant to .#anbd And and adn#idk#hated th Thing today#and also i want 2 Be like a lego#or a bjd
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i swing from get that calorie away from me it is filthy I will die of obesity to gods food food where need want stuff face so quick dude its not good
like, is there a term or is a just a little fucky?
If it helps, I have boats of mental illness
Ill go most the day without eating, relishing in the hunger pangs and short pains and then at the end of the day Ill just feel a little snacky and ruin it all
im not skinny, btw
#Tw ed?#i dunno man#shit post#Meme post#self deprecating humor#Mental illness#I just need to see if anyone else has this#Like i was eating soo little calories before Christmas and doing apples and stuff#And now ive stuffed myself for two weeks#And im alternating again#like a fucking idiot#That swing thing from music#Thats me#Genuinely I only ate because my family forced me to#Otherwise I wad s just sitting and feeling so proud of myself for not eating#And then before bed i was like ahh I wont sleep if im hungry#And just going ham#Partially posting this to check up on myself later if this has worsened or bettered#This isnt good ljke I know#But I feel so fat
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Ya know what shout out to butches who wrestle with our butchness because we don’t fit the mold in some way. Butches who aren’t physically strong or naturally caretaking because of physical disability, who need to be cared for, who can’t hold open the door for a femme. Butches with long hair, butches with big hair, butches who express their culture via their hair. Butches who’s masculinity is shaped by their culture, who’s masculinity doesn’t fit the white eurocentric mold. Fat butches, butches with curves viewed as feminine, butches who don’t have skinny, boyish builds. Butches who don’t want to be sexualized, butches on the ace spectrum. Butches who don’t have traditionally masculine interests or mannerisms or whatever. Effeminate butches. Butches who take inspo from gay men. Butches who like the occasional dress or skirt. TRANSFEM BUTCHES!!!!! And any other butches who don’t fit a certain mold!! All butches are good butches and we are all valid.
#I’ve wrestled with butch identity for a long time#Because I’m physically disabled and I am also Jewish and I love my hair and masculinity is Different in the Jewish community#I relate to how gay men do gender and am not traditionally masculine#I am fat and have a “mom bod” type of build#Etc etc#I have put so many standards on myself but why? I know who I am better than anyone. And I know I’m a butch!#It feels right and comfortable on every level#And that is what matters!!! Send post!#Kitty meows#Butch#Butchness#Butch lesbian#Butch identity#butch positivity
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I love skirts like this so much but it also highlights my Tummy Pouch and it makes me feel so self-conscious I want to actually cry 💔
#text#body image#I used to not care but I’ve gotten called fat so many times by my parents that I feel anxious going outside where people can see my body
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biggest i’ve ever looked🫣
#wg encouragement#wg teasing#beginner feedee#make me fatter#feedee piggy#feedee girl#feeding kink#weight gain#chubby#get me fatter#feedee belly#chubby belly#fat#feed me#fat belly#chubbiness#bloated gut#stuffed fatty#stuffed feedee#i need to gain weight#omg what#intentional weight gain#gaining weight#i feel so full#fat is good#make me huge#gluttonous piggy#fatty piggy#gaining weight on purpose#fat piggy
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#art#fat positivity#body positivity#positivity#birblr#canary#doodle#Sorry I'm a bit all over the place at the moment guys#Had to spend time with my partner's fatphobic family#And I know I'm a thin guy so I am not like directly hurt by the things they believe#But it still was just an awful experience and I'm still kinda feeling that#And it infuriates me that me standing up for what's right is always framed as me being a delicate sensitive anorexic#You should treat fat people nice because they are people and deserve basic decency#I am not being overly sensitive by not wanting to hear your fatphobic crap#You're just not nice people#/rant over#Sorry for my little outburst guys! I am usually an easy going guy#I just get really riled up about this stuff#Fat people are wonderful and it is such a blessing to live in a world with such a huge range of different bodies!
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When in doubt, Soup it out.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#a-yuan.#wei wuxian#Yes I am skipping over LWJ's panic at WWX joking about giving birth to A-Yuan. It's funny bit but there are many more to come!#The last time these two sat down together the tensions were so high. The peace is nothing more than a layer of cold fat on the surface.#It's not 'really' them coming to see eye to eye. It's them not having the energy to say what they really want anymore.#LWJ is very defined by his jealousy and the conflict it creates with his need to put his feelings aside for the perceived greater good.#To live a life where you are always second and never ever allowing yourself to be first...#If other people can be at peace and happy - it has to be worth it right?#If he orders a plate of food that he will struggle to eat but is the favourite thing of the person sitting across from him#Is it not worth the sacrifice?#But remember! You can't take anything for yourself ever. No matter how much you want it.#He did it once before and he regrets it so much. So all he can do is accommodate.#And WWX? Well. You can't let anyone in if there isn't enough water to splash around in.#Keep things shallow and they just move on. Even if you'll miss them when they go - this is just how things are now.#No more teasing and trying to pull a reaction from LWJ anymore. You'll never be more than someone he can't stand so what's the point.
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Just had a light snack (An entire pizza) so I thought I'd show off a lil <3
I know it's short, but I was gen so full after this, I just wanted to cut the video and lay down 😭
(ps, my new chair is so tall my belly rests on my desk now... I'll have to show you guys...)
#i feel so fat in this... do i look bigger?#wg teasing#wg encouragement#bhm wg#male wg#wg#fatty#feedee belly#get me fatter#fat belly#fat bhm#bhm weight gain#fat moobs#fat humiliation#bhm#fat piggy
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wait i'm curious, what makes you say that gregor doesn't like everyone else (if i read that post right)? just curious since i've never seen anyone else say that
i don't necessarily think gregor dislikes everyone else at lcb but i do think that gregor is an incredibly petty person that isn't nearly as close to the rest of the sinners and even outright dislikes some of them cough cough rodya cough cough which a lot of people just Refuse to see because he's as much of a doormat as he is. there's several examples i could get into to try and prove my point however i'll just focus on what i personally think to be the biggest ones.
additionally, this is going to be kind of long, so i'm adding a read more. read more! read it. sorry for being so wordy. i have several diseases.
Pt1. gregor is the type to try and get along at least decently with everyone, especially if he gets a good first impression from them.
this is less a point in favor of gregor's distance w/ the rest of the sinners and more just a contributing factor to it. once again there's several examples i could point to here but i think the most in your face one happened in canto I with yuri, as several people have pointed out. even before gregor comes clean about growing attached to her as quickly as he did because she reminds him of his sister, we get this interaction.
i'll go ahead and make the disclaimer now that i don't necessarily think gregor is the most reliable of narrators, especially when it comes to his feelings and interactions with most people, but from the way he acts when the topic of yuri comes up (and the way we still see him act even all the way up to c7, nearly a whole year after yuri's death) i don't see reason to question his sentiment here. gregor immediately got that aya and yuri were close, potentially even taking note of their traded belts, and went out of his way to get something nice for yuri despite hardly knowing her.
i feel like a lot of people have forgotten as much, especially since it's been so long since c1, but gregor actually spent a good bit of season 1 doing the exact same thing with the other sinners! gregor reads a connection between him and ishmael pretty quickly despite getting off to a rocky start
mostly because gregor can tell that ishmael is pretty sardonic in a very similar way to him. there's been multiple instances where ishmael and gregor have essentially expressed the same sentiment at different moments, most notably gregor's little argument after ishmael got shot with a decay ampule in c4
and ishmael's response to pilot talking about self-sacrifice in c5
i could go ahead and pull up more examples, but in general pm has gone out of their way to show us that gregor and ishmael are pretty similar, so it makes sense for gregor to assume that they're friends, right?
this will be pushpin 1. keep note of this for Later.
ishmael's only the first sinner we see gregor trying to do this with in s1, we also see him try it out with heathcliff, sinclair, and ryoushuu
he's tried to get along with charon, being one of very few sinners that we've seen actually try to establish a connection with her at all
even rodya, despite my insistence that gregor doesn't like her nearly as much as the fandom thinks he does
all of these seem pretty fine and dandy, right? sure it frequently leans towards self-degradation, micromanaging, and commiseration, but gregor can at least be pretty chummy with most of the sinners, can't he?
Pt2. hell's chicken was more than just comic relief guys please
i'm fully aware that this is quite the hot take, but i think hell's chicken deserves a lot more credit for character writing than the fandom gives it. hell's chicken gave us foreshadowing for several events, such as the donqui bloodfiend reveal
heathcliff's distortion in c6 (as well as hong lu's highly speculated distortion at some point in the future)
and ryoushuu and sinclair's continued connection by making him the odd one out on her team
which, hey! that implies something about gregor's odd one out, don quixote, too, doesn't it? yes. yes it does. that's pushpin 2. keep note of that for later.
speaking of pushpins, hey! that's pushpin 1!
splitting into teams is one of the major events in hell's chicken, and most of the sinner's choices are either motivated by very little, backhanded, or motivated primarily by not wanting to be on the opposite leader's side. i didn't include all of the picks, just because i feel like including most of them already gets this across, but i think gregor took one major thing from this: most of the sinners, when push comes to shove, will only side with gregor when they refuse to or can't take his opponent's side.
now, don't get me wrong, i'm fully aware that this is primarily intended to be comedic relief, but when gregor is being described as having his trust broken by ishmael or nearly crying because no one on his team properly sided with him for him, i feel like it's pretty fair to read into this.
something that i think is pretty important to remember in conjunction with this is that we know that gregor is the type to hold a grudge, both from his general attitude towards the G corp soldiers in c1 as well as his continued distaste for vergilius
even beyond the splitting into teams of hell's chicken, the sinners have given gregor plenty of reasons to feel bitter. i feel like this is something people have noticed but haven't really put a finger on, but it's kind of wild just how often the rest of the sinners make gregor the butt of the joke
and sure, we could argue that a fair few of these aren't really made with any ill intent. quite a bit of it could have been meant as harmless teasing, but with gregor being more sensitive than most, it coming from nearly all sides, and as often as it does? yeah, i think he's prone to taking it a bit personally.
Pt3. yes i do still think gregor was the third most important character in canto VII you guys gotta hear me out okay
of course, all of this leads up to the bit of the story i highlighted, doesn't it? c7? i totally get why people haven't really picked up on all the gregor things i did in it, seeing as they were mostly not *directly* said about him or by him.
personally, i think that gregor's distaste for talking about himself on any serious level and thus leading to him getting sort of "sidelined" narratively (which i take issue with that claim, but still. it's effective for getting what i mean across atm) is supposed to lead players to take a deeper look at the times gregor gets held up to other characters and compare and contrast what's being said about them by the matchup. as i showed earlier with his immediate latching onto ishmael, i think this is something gregor himself is at least partially aware of too.
so, that begs the question, who was gregor compared to in canto VII that makes me think it's one of the most critical pieces in understanding his character?
really, i'd like to avoid getting too lost in the analysis of this canto specifically, since i'd like to do a proper post about this later, but i figure i can bury the lede a little before doing it properly.
c7 features several characters being made to perform in sansón's play, acting out the relevant backstory for this segment of the plot. a lot of these characters have rather direct, degrading reasons for playing the roles they do.
outis, a character with an inflated ego who wants her journey to have a purpose, is made to play an aimlessly wandering villager with a single line.
hong lu and ryoushuu, two characters for whom families and the expectations placed upon them are likely going to play a major role, are made to play bloodfiends.
rodya, a character who resents her lot in life and is constantly shown to be eager to leave her destitution behind her and become someone special, is made to play a helpless villager that's too poor to even offer any money to the hero that saves her.
heathcliff, a character that has spent most of his life getting dehumanized by comparing him to beastly animals, is made to play a literal bear whose sole purpose in the plot is to get beat up and then quickly left by the wayside.
sinclair, a character that has two opposed parties essentially treating him as a macguffin to procure for their side, is made to play the character who was arguably the catalyst for this entire canto, not to mention playing a decently major role in ruina.
our star don quixote is made to play her father, the first kindred, but there's someone by their side the entire time, isn't there? don quixote's dear, steadfastly loyal companion. a character which don quixote has tasked themself with getting to come out of their shell?
hello again, pushpin 2.
gregor has been made to play our unreachable star, sancho. someone had to, of course. you can't really tell a story without it's main character, now can you?
now, i should once again give a disclaimer. i am not trying to say that i think adapting what happens to donqui/sancho in c7 to gregor is the road pm is going to take here, not only would that toe a bit past the line of foreshadowing, but it'd also just amount to rehashing that plotline again, which i don't think would make for a particularly exciting story.
what i DO think is that we can take a lot of the things that are said to either directly be the case for sancho and use them to inform how we see gregor.
and god, does playing sancho have some fucking implications for our favorite ossan archetype.
starting off, the earliest moment we get to see of sancho is quite literally her just waiting for death to take her in a pile of ashes.
which, i should remind everyone, is actually pretty damn close to what happens to gregor's literary counterpart at the end of the metamorphosis. gregor samsa experiences one final breaking point that pushes him over the edge and makes him decide to just wait for starvation to take him.
gregor and sancho both consider themselves to no longer be human, something which sancho goes out of her way to highlight repeatedly throughout the canto and gregor is quick to get defensive on her behalf for when outis starts really tearing into her
sancho spends quite a lot of this story denying herself the joys of community and friendship, despite knowing that, even with the rest of the sinners frequently making jokes at her expense and outright insulting her, they were things that she desperately craved.
and, while this is getting into my "outis is a red herring meant to distract us from gregor's eventual betrayal" theorizing, i also think it's worth noting for this discussion that sancho's fellow kindreds, her family, all seem to be under the impression that she dislikes them and ultimately her departure was an act of betrayal
and that, despite gregor being one of LCB's resident mood makers and attempted conflict de-escalators, one of the sinners that's most prone to making appeals to the bonds they've all forged together, only him and faust remained silent during everyone's speech
so yeah, i think there's quite a lot of little details and hints building up to the reveal that gregor's not quite as fond of everyone as he presents himself to be. i do think a lot of this ultimately comes down to gregor getting in the way of his own happiness, similarly to donqui, particularly because he's been frequently portrayed as something of a self fulfilling prophecy, especially by giving him as many christ allegories as they have by way of priest and garden of thorns. gregor is convinced that the rest of the sinners don't like him because he's not convinced anyone could like him, so he convinces himself that he hates them because why should he care if someone that he hates hates him too?
a lot of this ultimately ties back to my personal interpretation of what happens in the metamorphosis as well as my own theories regarding all the times gregor has made weird callbacks and references to lobcorp and ruina, but yeah. i think about this guy and his deeper characterization a fairly normal amount, i think.
to end this off i'll highlight one of my favorite little "gregor is fucking seething and trying so hard to keep it cool" moments, in the credits CG for c7 we see rodya teasing him by drawing a little horse on his window and actively pointing and laughing at it, which gregor really doesn't seem all too pleased about.
i personally think this ties into the other cruel part of sansón forcing gregor to play rocinante, which is the more literal "he's actually just straight up playing rocinante" side of things. gregor was quite literally made to play something less than human, less than even animal really, as he was reduced to nothing more than the shoes don quixote wore as she got to play the leading role. sansón directly makes jokes about gregor being nothing more than shoes in the play twice, which adds to this reading, i think.
this, imo, really plays into the adaptation of the metamorphosis! i've seen a lot of readings for the book that posit that, despite being the protagonist, gregor samsa can't really be considered the main character due to nearly everything he experiences in it being used to further his family's character development at his expense, which i think fits nicely with limbus gregor seemingly having the most said about him through indirect means by holding him up to other characters. also it's rodya carelessly making fun of His Big Major Insecurities™ again like she did in c1 which i always find fun. rodya i love you but god you're the worst.
#beargregor's property#limbus company#project moon#lcb gregor#something to bear in mind#beargregor's analysis#beargregor's theories#do i bother tagging both of those i feel like i do#oh also.#long post#sorry guys i promised i would try and stay brief when i set out to respond to this ask and before i knew it seven hours passed#my bad#does this give me normal gregor fan cred#i'm fully preparing myself to be screenshotted and posted to twitter or reddit with people making fun of my reading of him but idrc honestl#also i'm really hoping that LCB regular check up has donqui actually like#confront gregor about the fact that he was playing her in sansón's plays#i've seen people insinuate that any deeper reading to the roles they got in them is doing too much#and while i really don't agree with that just due to how much sansón fit the roles to be as cruel as possible to their sinners#i do think at the very bare minimum that the comparisons drawn between gregor and sancho are Very Intentional#despite gregor's supposed lack of proper Deep character moments people love to claim i really do think that we know a lot about him#significantly more than people think we do#just because so much of it has been told to us indirectly or has this aspect of plausible deniability to it#just due to gregor being the way he is#a lot of these smaller subtler details in his proper main writing get highlighted more in his IDs and EGO#like gregor's pettiness and grudge holding in AEDD or the aforementioned self-fulfilling prophecy-ness of priest and garden of thorns#anyway. that's it. gregor is fat by the way did i mention that. also very hairy. refer to my url for more details.#ignore how i just can't shut up about him i promise i'm normal. i promise it's over i can rant about him more another day. i swear.
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Them: “I love FFAs!”
Me: Oh yay 🥰
Them: “I love the contrast between a large fat man and a small dainty woman”
Me: oh :(
#fat FFAs are so often forgotten about it makes me sad#contrast is cool and all but it’s not the only way#I wish I didn’t feel like an outsider of my own group sometimes
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mostly jrwi riptide but also @bardace's oc forts is here
#or mostly magma but also a csp gryffon is here#or mostly drew these today but also the caspian from a bit ago is here#qlso help me the riptide has swallowed me once again i djdnt mean for this to happen its jsut the natural progression help me#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#jrwi caspian#jay ferin#niklaus hendrix#friend oc#jrwi gryffon#LISTWN I DOTN THINK GRYFFON SHOULD BE SCULPTED LIKE A MARBLE STATUE MF HES FAT OKAY THABK YOU HES A BEAR PLS PLS PLS#HES AN ACTUAL BEAR ITD BE SO AWESOME W#ifuck im on mobile i cant edit these uh#ITD BE AWESOME IF HE ALSO WAS A BEAR (GAY KIND) YHEAR ME YEAH YEA okah jsut yeamhm ok jm fine#also happy trail for him cus he deserves it#my art#magma#also niklaus w some scruff cus i did it as a joke but then i ended up thinking it made him a million times hotter so it stayed#n i gave him a fun little fit cus i dont ahve a concrete design for him#but also i feel like he keeps showing up in new ones idk#i cant believe im back here I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE STUCK IN DRAWTECTIVES FOR AT LEAST A LITTLE WHILE but then riptide reentered my brain#started a rewatch.... cus why not. n i want to experience it all again n then i can actually catch up. i got to 94 last time.
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I think a vastly underrated form of anti-capitalism/fascism/discrimination is radical self acceptance. Like just accept being “ugly.” Fuck beauty standards fuck beauty products fuck trends fuck diet culture fuck fitting in fuck “beauty is pain” mindset fuck “healthy things have to taste bad” fuck skin care fuck plastic surgery fuck filters fuck trying to appeal to beauty standards that profit off of your insecurities just exist outside of what the system demands of you. Leave your acne gain weight wear the same clothes forever learn to view what society deems as your “flaws” as an anarchist symbol of power and freedom
#just watched alexander avila’s new video essay n I’m feelin distinctly anarchist now lmao#the video wasn’t even about any of this it just instilled that feeling in me which I then directed at something else#I’m just so sick of trends lmao I wanna wear clothes that people think are weird and cringe#sick of capitalists profiting off of insecurities#I want people to learn more about fat liberation so they can fall into the radical self acceptance pipeline that fuels me now lol#this shit rules I love myself so much and my life is awesome outside of uncontrollable societal horrors#and those uncontrollable societal horrors would get a whole lot better if a bunch of people would get on the same level I’m at real quick#lyla's talking again#fat liberation#sort of
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excuse the marks from my trousers being too tight😅
#wg encouragement#wg teasing#make me fatter#weight gain#chubby#get me fatter#feedee belly#chubby belly#fat#feed me#fat belly#chubbiness#feedee piggy#beginner feedee#feedee girl#feeding kink#i feel so full#be my pay piggy#gluttonous piggy#fatty piggy#stuffed fatty#stuffed feedee#make me huge#help me get fatter#help me gain weight#i need to gain weight#gaining weight#thick and juicy#inbox open#inbox is open
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man, you know, nobody asked me, but I have such conflicting opinions on some of the fat falin art, where on one hand: it's always nice to see A Fat Body in fanart anywhere + it's being done in positive ways, for funsies and on the other hand, there is something so familiar about how you are automatically The Fat One if you are a woman simply standing next to a more petite woman, bc I've had a 0% hitrate in seeing people change Marcille's body type and keep Falin's, or change both of them. it's just Falin
#it gives me a negative feeling that I seldom/never get from seeing fat art which is rare#like she's not fat out of thin air For Fun And No Other Reason and she's not fat bc of context#(out of thin air being like just picking a character you like and changing their design just cuz. Kabru maybe.)#(and Because Of Context being the way ppl draw fat Usagi from sailor moon. which i have been meaning to do btw)#but rather she's fat just bc to be Not the thinnest woman in the room is to be fat. like it happens specifically by scale#because marcille is so much physically smaller and petite and falin is bigger in the ways that a Human Woman is bigger#than an elf woman#and it's funny bc it's something i see all the time already#people also really don't seem to have an interest in making marcille butch in fanart in a way#that is sort of sad for me bc it's like ah well she's the thin small one so of course she gets to be feminine#if you're physically bigger then of course you get to be masc of course of course of course...#i also love good butch art esp fat butch stuff but this is about the phenomenon where if you're with#a thinner shorter woman then that means you're the butch now which is a place I have been to#and I did not like it there#I think part of why That sticks it to me is bc marcille has such a Butch Girlfriend personality and falin acts so demure LMAO#but she's slightly bigger so the writing is on the wall#sergle.txt#Godspeed to you if you choose to read these thoughts in bad faith bc I can't give you more clarifying statements if I try#like I said. conflicting feelings#i don't know if anyone else has similar thoughts it May Just Be Me#I don't think ppl think about this stuff when they make their fan redesigns but it gives me a certain feeling
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just wanted to say it's really awesome seeing the positive reception to chunky mikey LOVE YOU ALL 🧡🧡
#I WAS A LITTLE WORRIED BUT EVERYONE'S BEEN SUPER COOL he's very important to me#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise mikey#rottmnt mikey#avepharts#number one reason for his design It Is Self-Care To Draw Your Characters Fat and it's fun and i wanted to#but also ! i think it's a really interesting visual contrast to apocalypse mikey (who's very bony) esp bc you'd assume mikey would live a#really hearty lifestyle. like i think f!mikey's figure is so striking to me because it feels so alien for him.#also! mikey does a lot of throwing and lifting heavy shit and in sports like deadlifting and shot-put athletes tend to have more fat muscle#and i think there should be more body diversity in acrobatic fighter characters#AND OF COURSE! he looks like raph <3#rot20mnt
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