#but i don’t want to get out of bed
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damn my queue was all horny posts overnight huh
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one of the worst things in the world is that feeling unloveable can (and will) make you act in ways that reinforces itself. I feel unloveable so I don’t respond to messages so people reach out less so I feel unloveable. one of the hardest things in the world is fighting back the brain demons long enough to break the cycle
#my best friend doesn’t have tumblr but I am mentally sending him so many apologies right now jesus fuckkkkkkk#I feel so fucking awful rn#I went and watched taskmaster and that distracted me a bir#but literally. suicidal thoughts out of nowhere. urge to drink out of nowhere#it’s like. 8:15pm and I’m thinking of just going to bed now#only way to get my brain to shut up#I have such a busy weekend ahead as well#godddddd I want to enter hermit mode so bas#I’m not gonna do anything stupid don’t worry#but I sure Feel Like Doing It
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The need in Anthony’s eyes as he thrusts in the air, like just looking at Kate has made him desperate enough to hump the air????
While Kate deliberately walks extremely slowly towards him to prolong the torture and bites her lip in amusement at his neediness????
Oh they are such FREAKS!!!
#bridgerton season 3#anthony bridgerton#kate sharma#kate sharma x anthony bridgerton#kanthony#bridgerton analysis#bridgerton gifs#bridgerton#gif#DID I MENTION THAT SHE LITERALLY JUST GOT OUT OF BED#one minute ago#and Anthony is already acting like a parched man finding oasis in a desert#it’s been two seconds Sir????#and don’t even get me started on Kate#I’m beginning to doubt she really wanted to leave the bed at all#she got out just to tease him and see him beg a little#so nasty (I LOVE THEM BAD)
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I am so sorry, apparently it’s 2024 and I’m arguing about dragon age again lmao. How did I get here! Why is this happening!! Time is a flat circle!!!
Anyway. People can feel how they want about the past games not mattering in this game. If you’re cool with it, I’m happy for you. But there’s one particular argument in defence of this choice that is really, really bothering me and I have to rant
The thing I keep seeing is “well all this other stuff has nothing to do with the main plot or Rook, so it should be cut” and that’s. Not a good way to tell stories in my opinion. Because here’s the thing: it’s not about the Big Overall Plot. It’s about the characters that live in this world, big and small
I’m going to use the example of Varric and Hawke cause I think it’s the easiest to explain quickly. Varric is a storyteller. That’s the defining trait of his character. He tells stories, and sometimes they’re true and sometimes they’re not and sometimes it’s something in between. In DA2 he tells you about his brother. In inquisition, he talks about hawke and there’s banter about several of the companions. Most of these are just little one liners that don’t “serve the overall plot” but they serve Varric’s character
And that matters
So if we take this character known for telling stories about people that have been in his life, well, he largely can’t do that now. How can he talk about Hawke, someone who can be a very close friend of his, without even their gender being a choice you can select? Or whether Varric should be saying ‘is’ or ‘was’ about them? How can he talk about the companions in DA2 or inquisition when a lot of them don’t have to be recruited or can die? Will he limit himself to only characters that are guaranteed to be a part of it and alive? Or is it that he and Rook will have such a shallow relationship that Varric, of all characters, never talks about his life and past exploits?
Or has Varric as a character changed so much that he doesn’t even want to tell stories anymore? That Hawke living or dying means nothing to him? That the friendships he built with people in 2 games mean nothing to him? That he’s become literally unrecognizable?
This is where the problem is. Sure, Rook maybe doesn’t care about these people they’ve never met. But do they care about Varric? What about if a companion mentions an old friend of theirs, talks about an experience they had that made them who they are - is that only okay if that experience isn’t from a previous game? Or are all the characters so flat that we never learn anything about their connections to others outside of Rook? Is this story SO focused on this player character and this plot that NOTHING else matters, even within the world, and there’s no depth to be found in any of the characters that feature in it?
Writing characters so that they only ever talk about things that “directly serve the plot” is how you get flat, unremarkable, boring, forgettable characters. And that’s not something I would have accused bioware of doing even if some instalments are stronger in this area than others. But it sounds like that’s what they’re doing here, at least with the past characters. Cause sure, maybe Morrigan is so closed off she’ll never mention her son and partner. That’s believable, even if iffy given that they’ve said she’s going to be more involved than we think. But Varric? VARRIC??? Never mentioning ANY of the people he used to spend time with and care about except Solas and maybe some of the inquisition characters that can’t die or not be recruited but also carefully skirting around what happened to them in the game? That’s literally not the same character
And I would expand this to like. A letter mentioning this or a codex mentioning that, or ambient dialogue about so and so - that makes the world feel deep and those random, unimportant NPCs feel richer by connecting them to the larger world. It’s not about “serving the plot”, it’s about making your world and characters deep enough that they feel real, lived in, and like something we can actually care about
#I am so mad that I’m mad about this but I’m mad about this lmao#I wasn’t even decided on the game!!! I was cautiously waiting and seeing! and now I’m MAD!!!!! why would they do this!!!#anyway idk I just needed to get this out cause I’m doom scrolling too much and some of the defences of it just don’t make sense with good#storytelling and I’m upset that people don’t see that#again if you don’t care I’m happy for you please continue being unbothered#but god I am so bothered because I want good characters and wold building gdi#the plot is honestly so secondary like if the plot is ass but the characters are amazing I’d pick that ove good plot and shallow characters#every time#okay I need to get ready for bed and my head hurts lmao#I also don’t know how to do a cut in mobile anymore so sorry#long post#dragon age#veilguard#veilguard spoilers#text#shut up nerd#bioware critical
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Sunday morning sleeping in <3
#my art#glee#klaine#kurt hummel#blaine anderson#fanart#I almost didn’t wanna colour this one but I like the way it turned out#a good little lighting practice#honestly I have no clue if the light beam from the blinds is actually correct but iiii don’t care#you get the vibe#also I should really follow their example and catch some zs#its 4am what am I doinggg#thats what happens when you start a drawing at 11pm#smh#they are so soft thoughhh#I really missed them#and I’ve been wanting them as close as possible#also ive been loving the watercolour look lately#it actually makes me hate colouring a lot less haha#I can be messier#and it looks so softttt#and I like them soft <33#(well.. apart from like… ;)#okay I need to shut up and go to bed#good night and enjoy foks! <333
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Names
(Incredibles au)
————————————————————
The name Link was a funny thing in Time’s life.
He himself had been born with it— or at least he assumed that was how he got it. Never gave it too much thought, but he liked it well enough. Less so when Mido called him “Stink” instead, but Mido was always looking for ways to get a rise out of him when they were kids.
Time had been told several times by the Deku, the old man who ran the home he’d ended up in, that Link was a good name, a courageous name. One with a lot of meaning behind it, but Time never really knew what he meant by that. And when the other kids he lived with noticed his uncanny ability to tell the time, he took on the nickname it came with willingly enough. Mido did start calling him ‘Slime’ then, but it was better than Stink.
Then the Deku died, and thoughts of names slipped Time’s mind. He grew up too fast, becoming a superhero in his own right, and it wasn’t until he was a teenager that names came back into focus.
When his younger brother showed up.
...
Warriors was the first Link to be dropped into Time’s life, though it was no fault of his own.
Time’s first meeting with him had been bloody and traumatizing, and even as an adult, Warriors didn’t talk about that day. Time had found him and his mother— their mother it turned out— being attacked in an alley, and even after he’d removed the threat, she’d been too far gone to save. Their mother hadn’t said much, but she’d recognized Time somehow, and part of her dying words had been to tell Time that she’d named her youngest son Link simply in hopes that it would be enough for Warriors to find Time one day.
Time had spent many a night pondering whether that had been all there was to it. Was it a family name? Had their unknown father been named Link? Had his mother simply regretted giving Time up all of those years ago so intensely that she’d given her other son his name?
Time didn’t know. Warriors didn’t either. Neither of them had many memories of their mother, and barely any things from her.
But with another Link came the need for another nickname, and with a random observation Time barely even thought twice about, the younger Link became Warriors, a bright smile on his small face as he declared the fact to Time.
And while Time likely wouldn’t have chosen to end up with a kid to watch over in his teenage years, Warriors somehow snagged his heart anyway.
And one Link became two.
...
The next Link in Time’s life came with his own nickname.
Sky was small, smaller than Warriors even, but cheerful and sweet for a kid of his age. He became friends with Warriors almost the moment they met, and the two of them thought it was hysterical that they shared a name, especially since neither of them went by it.
Only Sky’s parents actually called him Link, and Time didn’t really know why. He rarely saw them— nobody did too much, Sky included— but he suspected it had to do with the somewhat formal impression they gave off. He was likely wrong though, since whenever they’d return from a trip, Sky would see them coming and bolt, an eager grin on his face as his mother laughed and swung him around, his father kissing his head.
They loved Sky more than anything, and for some reason unknown to anyone else, that included not calling him by a nickname. At least, not in public.
And when Time learned of Sky’s powers, red wings he could use to glide effortlessly through the air, the strangeness surrounding his nickname made a little more sense at least.
Sky’s nickname was more set in stone than some of the other Links Time would later know, though. Sky’s parents died on national television before Sky was even ten, and Time finally realized their frequent absences were simply covering their superhero identities they’d been hiding all this time.
Sky moved in with Time and Warriors, and from then on flat-out refused to be called Link by anyone except his other friend Sun.
It took several years for that policy to relax, even slightly.
But that didn’t matter to Time or Warriors. They both pulled Sky into their odd little family as much as he would let them, and Sky reciprocated, two Links becoming three.
...
The next Link took longer to come, not until after Time truly grew up and got married. But when he did, it was by design, though Time had argued up and down with Malon about it.
He wanted to give their newborn son his own name, not one he would share with both his father and two uncles. Malon wanted to give him a family name, especially since she was so fond of the name Link.
Warriors said they should have named him Fuzzy on account of the full head of hair he was born with, but they both shot that down.
Malon did have her way in the end, though they compromised, with Time picking his middle one. Link Twilight Forester was added to the collection of Links, his middle name given for the time of day he was born in, and Time personally thought his tiny son was the best out of all of them.
He assumed then, that Twilight would be the last Link in their family.
And he had no idea how wrong he was.
...
The next Link was an accident.
Their next son was never supposed to be given the name Link— Malon had a whole list of names ready and waiting, but their lives had taken a turn in the past few years. People were angry and hurting, swept up in a sea of hatred towards supers. Time had been dragged into the middle of it, and when their son was born the very day the law banning them from using their powers to help people was enacted...
Time had been distracted. Malon had been distracted.
And so when the nurse asked them for a name, Time absently told her his own, not realizing she’d meant their son.
“Link? Like the legend?” she’d questioned, and Time had nodded without a second thought.
The mistake wasn’t caught until it was too late to fix, and to Time’s further bewilderment, the papers had their son’s full name as “Link Legend Forester”. Going through the process of changing things would have been more time-consuming and complicated than either he or Malon had the energy for, and they’d wearily admitted defeat.
Legend wasn’t a bad name at least, and Malon softly admitted to him on one of those first days that she actually rather liked it.
Time was inclined to agree, and as he watched their world get flipped into something new, he had a feeling some legends would be needed.
...
Next up was Wind, though the reason for his being named Link was honestly just embarrassing.
After the mistake with Legend, Time and Malon had decided to be extra vigilant in not making any mistakes in regards to names. They had several picked out in case of boy or girl, and Time was determined to get things right this time.
Only... that didn’t happen.
They’d moved since Legend had been born, and had a different doctor than the last time. All of the slight changes that that brought with it were just enough of a distraction that something got misheard, or something got written down wrong, or somebody just hated them— Time actually didn’t know precisely what it was that had happened, in the end.
But when they were handed their baby and congratulated on their son, Link, Time almost banged his head against the wall. Malon broke into laughter, and they admitted defeat again, giving in to having their third son be named the same as his brothers.
Link Windsor Forester was the sixth Link in Time’s life, and Wind’s laughter matched Warriors and Sky’s when they heard about his real name.
...
Wild came next, a Link by surprise.
Time had gotten an unexpected call from Impa one afternoon, and instead of being met with news that his family needed to move again, she asked a favor.
A boy had been found, a super, injured beyond belief. He needed a temporary home, and though Time and Malon were low on both space and energy, they had immediately agreed. Impa had called them because they were the only real option, and they both knew they couldn’t say no.
Impa hadn’t been able to pry a name out of the boy, and for ease’s sake (or perhaps Impa’s odd sense of humor), he’d been given the temporary moniker of Link. Malon laughed when Time told her, but he didn’t think it was so funny.
Or maybe it was, and he was just distracted by the seriousness of the situation.
Nothing much was amusing about poor Link’s situation. Injured and traumatized for merely being born with powers like the rest of them, his quietness took time to fade. But fade it did, and despite his nightmares, he blossomed into a silly, hyper kid, eager to help and enamored with them all.
Impa eventually found out his real name was indeed Link (which Time just... decided not to think about too hard), but Wild was what he went by now, the seventh Link bursting with enthusiasm and energy as Time and Malon added him into their family.
...
The eighth Link was on purpose.
Malon had gone into labor early, too early, enough to make the doctors nervous. They’d swept her off almost the moment they arrived at the hospital, and Time was left to sit, and wait, and pray to anyone who was listening to get his wife and child through this safely.
Those were some of the longest hours of his life, but finally their tiny son came out, red and oddly quiet, but alive. He was whisked off to be cared for, and Time and Malon were left alone to worry, and fret, and... discuss names.
Time suggested Link.
“Really?” Malon had asked in surprise, and he’d nodded, sighing.
“All of his brothers have the name. It would be strange not to give him it.”
Assuming he makes it.
Time had quickly silenced that thought while Malon considered, and finally she agreed, the shadows under her eyes looking a little lighter as she smiled at him.
“He would feel a little left out, wouldn’t he?” she said softly, leaning against Time’s arm. “I suppose he can go by his middle name then, and his first can be Link.”
“Just like the rest of us,” Time murmured, and pulled her close while they waited.
Little Link did make it, to everyone’s relief and joy. And so their family’s eighth Link joined the family: Link Smith Forester, smallest out of all his brothers.
Interestingly enough, he gained another nickname as he grew older— Four, so named for his odd obsession with the number when he was little. Sometimes his brothers got away with calling him Pipsqueak too, but Time generally discouraged that.
Three names was already more than enough.
...
Hyrule was the ninth Link, skittish and scared.
Time’s meeting with him was one of the most dramatic of any of the other Links— a burning building, a terrified super, borderline hypothermia, and a deep distrust and fear that Time could sense the moment he met him.
What he also saw was a little boy who was in desperate need of love and care though, and so he brought him home, and let Malon work her magic. His sons helped with that as well, and they easily pulled him into their chaos, opening him up and finding the person past all the walls. It surprised nobody to learn that his name was Link, and it didn’t take long for him to be given a nickname as well— Hyrule, named for the title of his favorite book of stories.
The title seemed even more fitting when the near-mythical power at Link’s fingertips was revealed, healing a broken wrist without barely a thought.
Afterwards Hyrule tried to flee, terrified that with his powers revealed his autonomy would be taken from him yet again. But Time and Malon coaxed him back, and assured him they didn’t care about any of that. They would love him anyway, no matter what powers came with him.
Hyrule had broken down in grateful and overwhelmed tears, and that was how the ninth Link came into their family; Link Hyrule Forester, finally home.
...
Time would look back on all of those different meetings sometimes, thinking about how different they all were, and yet... similar.
Himself, Warriors, Sky, Twilight, Legend, Wind, Wild, Four, and Hyrule, all of them unique people. More than half of them his children, and all related to him in one way or another. Yet they all boasted the name Link, and most of them were by complete coincidence or accident.
Some people laughed when they heard about the names, and others merely gave strange looks. It was an odd tale for sure, yet despite all the jokes and teasing everyone got for having the same name, Time knew that, like himself, they all loved their shared name. As well as the people who shared it with them.
Each of them had a different relationship with the name, but it was theirs. And maybe it did have a courageous meaning like the old Deku always said. Maybe it didn’t. Maybe it was just a popular name, and a strange fluke that Time had eight people in his life with the same name as himself.
But regardless of any of that, of how they’d come together, how they’d been given the name, whether they were blood related or not... Time was grateful beyond belief that he knew and loved each and every one of them.
Link.
#this is kind of a weird fic but o has the idea the other night and wanted to get it out#you can tell I wrote most of it before bed#I don’t know if I totally like it but here it is#linkeduniverse#Incredibles au#Incredibles au fic#IAU ensemble#fic#writing from the floor#me cramming in lore I haven’t really touched on much: hee
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Muggle college AU where Harry sneaks into tom’s dorm room (after making sure to drug tom’s water earlier ofc) and takes pictures of him while he sleeps and posts them online. because god fucking dammit, Tom riddle is the most annoying RA that could possibly exist, and he wants a little bit of light revenge.
Harry realizes that “light revenge” may have gotten out of hand around the same time he started stripping Tom, and suddenly he was balls deep in both Tom riddle and a felony. The gravity of the situation did nothing to prevent Harry from taking a video, even though it was just more evidence that could be used against Harry.
#i don’t wanna over-work it so have a barely thought out idea!#tomarry#tom riddle#bottom tom riddle#harry potter#non con#somnophilia#I heart somno if you couldn’t tell#cuz like Tom Riddle is such a brat but he can’t be when he’s unconscious !#I also really like the idea that Harry was convinced Tom was stalking him so of course to confirm this he had to stalk Tom back!#(tom was not stalking him)#(he was too busy figuring out how to get away with another murder)#and so harry decides to finally get revenge on Tom for being an asshole (doing his job and confiscating materials not allowed on campus)#by taking embarrassing pictures of him when he’s at his most vulnerable#the idea was that Harry’d post em online somewhere or use it as blackmail#(harry just wanted to jerk off to em)#but all of a sudden harry is having the best sex of his life (it doesn’t matter that tom’s asleep it’s fine) and he doesn’t want this to be#his only night with Tom#so he leaves Tom all messy and used on his dorm bed with a note telling him to check his phone#which has texts from Harry with the video and pics of their night together <3#he used his burner phone tho ofc ;-3#anyways#Tom thinks Harry knows about The Murders (Harry has no clue about The Murders) and freaks out#and eventually offers to let harry fuck him as much as he wants as long as he ‘keeps it secret’#and so starts a horridly fucked up situationship that Tom can’t leave for fear of his murders being exposed#but also he comes to crave these meetings with Harry#meanwhile harry is like the closest thing to a himbo that a stalker can be#he’s just happy to be here (sexually coercing Tom Motherfucking Riddle)#I have many thoughts
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‘stop eating your weight in fruit loops, go get dressed!’
#i need a mickey in my life#like right now thank you#depression is kicking my ass#and i barely get out of bed these days#other than reading gallavich fics all day whilst my books star at me#🫡#i want to draw but the moment i try to do anything i just sigh#and call it a day#so all i could get out of me was this.. thing?#i don’t know how to draw cute but i suppose … it’s a thing?#very relatable scene at the moment so here#beautiful depressed ian for you all#ian gallagher#gallavich#shameless#shameless us#cameron monaghan
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It’s disability pride month, and if you are disabled in the U.S. from Long Covid I want you to know that you’re not alone, and you’re valid in whatever you feel. Whether that’s sorrow at your new problems or rage at society for failing you, you are valid, and it is truly messed up that society is continuing to fail you.
#disability#trauma#chronic illness#long COVID#COVID#Tbh I’m not sure if I have long covid or not but I keep swinging between despair and fury#The brain fog SUCKS#I might have always had it but it feels especially bad now?#And I have all kinds of respiratory problems that got exacerbated#And possibly chronic fatigue but it’s unclear#And I’m one of the lucky ones!!!#I can still exercise without needing three days of bed rest after!#I was so RELIEVED when it turned out I could do that#I did like. Three weeks of breathing rehab to make sure#Not sure if it helped but now I’m not getting post-exertional backlash nearly as much anymore#And I didn’t lose my sense of smell or get my taste messed up#And I don’t need a respirator just an inhaler and some allergy meds and to take frequent breaks#And like. I know so many people have it worse#And that suuuuucks#But EVEN THIS makes me want to scream and rail half the time#Update as of Sept 2024 — this is no longer true#Got Covid again and now I can’t exercise without being too tired to move for three days#🙃#Probably will die mad about this actually#I had SUCH a good time working out one night#But then the next morning#Nope#head-to-toe muscle pain#couldn’t do any chores#Couldn’t even feed myself
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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I know she had era tour but I don’t think I can do it w a broken heart is actually eras tour
I thought of this too. Maybe sometime down under? No way to know, but I did think the line she threw in at the end “Try and come for my job” might have hinted at something. I can read it both ways. As always, we’ll never know for sure. But I think it’s fair to say she has felt this way many times. It reminded me of Katy having to go on stage immediately after having her husband tell her he was filing for divorce. And it’s relatable. We’ve all had to put on a happy face at work and pretend things are fine at home.
#on a personal note#it reminds me of one of my depressive episodes where everyday I just didn’t want to get out of bed or do anything#and as a result I lost 15 pounds in a short period.#and when I did get out of bed and smiled I got a lot of comments about how great I looked#so I don’t think we need to necessarily dissect this so much#the point is sometimes she is deeply unhappy and we won’t know because like everyone she hides her feelings#and we should remember this always. we don’t know her.#body language experts should shut up because if she’s in public she knows she can be video’d or photographed at any moment always#so she always has the face on she wants people to see#that sounds so exhausting
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Sleepover shenanigans
#drawing#steve harrington#stranger things#robin buckley#stobin#they were in her room arguing like old married couple#listen steve just doesn’t understand how she can’t do it bc he thinks she can do anything#he said what tf do you mean you don’t have abs and rob was like bestie I don’t work out they aren’t strong I’m a limo noodle#and he was like well girl get on that I don’t want you to die bc you didn’t keep your body healthy istg your worse than Henderson#and she was like HEY I do plenty of things such as ride my bike and he said ok then why are your thighs the size of my forearm#and he keeps yelling at her to use her core and she’s screaming at him that she’s trying#and he’s holding her leg#but we’ll rob flails and her heel whacked him in the eye so he feel back#hit the wall thought he was dead#dropped rob to the ground and shes cursing like an d man that had to get up from his chair#and she’s like why’d you drop me and he doesn’t respond so she looks over#and my man is out for the count with another black eye#she thinks she killed him and worries that after years of demogorgons and Russians the thing that kills Steve Harrington is#Robs sharp ass heel#she pushes him under the bed and covers him with blankets and then goes to sleep#except he wakes up at like 2am and she screams worse than when she saw a ud creature for the 1st time and whacks him back down and BAM#he is out again and now Robin is freaking out more bc omg she killed her platonic soulmate and he came back to life only for her to kill him#AGAIN#she wonders if she can be tried for double manslaughter on one man but how would they know? then rob realized she can’t testify bc#she’ll tell everything if she gets up on the stand and she won’t just be sentenced for life she’ll be sentence for TWO lives#but then she’s like omg I deserve two life sentences to honor Steve even though he wouldn’t be in jail she just assumes he goes with her#even her own prison sentence for his murder#the next time Steve wakes up he inches out and flips on her to tame her flailing limbs and she starts crying saying#I killed you twice but my love for you is so strong it brought you back a third time and steve is like you knocked me out shithead you didnt#murder me Jesus Christ and she’s like how do you k ow and he’s like omg how do I know
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i am not doing so hot
#physically or mentally#im stressed and anxious all of the time#i don’t know how to relax and im feeling like im stressing everyone out in my life in the process#im trying my best and pushing myself to be more social and more forward and talk to people i want to talk to and ask people to hang out more#but the feelings of loneliness have been replaces with the feeling im#bothering everyone and i just don’t know what to do#i dont want to do anything but sleep these days but i don’t let myself because i know i wont be able to get out of bed if i rest for too#long. and i don’t want to do that again
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I’m having normal thoughts about boys right now ok (I have a deep visceral need to hunt someone through the forest, nothing but the sound of him gasping and breaking through the brush with his heartbeat thrumming like an animal of its own in his chest and in my ears, my paws beating against the earth as I race after him, teeth clicking and practically foaming at the mouth at his scent. Just him and me in the dead of night. And when I finally catch him I pin him to the ground and fuck his brains out under the full moon <3 )
I can be left alone with a pretty guy in the middle of the night under a full moon. Yeah just leave him by the forest :) no yeah don’t worry abt it haha yeah I’m just gonna go out for a run :) it will be good for me and also him. Enrichment :) being hunted by a big werewolf counts as a couples exercise right
#yeah ok I’m on my blood moon right now I’ll admit#anyways I don’t know what the otherkin equivalent of monsterfucking is.#I’m a monsterfucker in the way that I’m a monster and I want to fuck other monsters or humans. But not in a “human who wants to get#fucked by monsters” way.#cough. Anyways.#*gripping the sink gritting my fangs trying to be normal* pleaseeee I need to run through the forest completely unrestrained and free#I need to chase someone and hunt without killing someone bc I feel bad about hurting animals and people#pleaseee it would be so good for me to hunt a guy and fuck his brains out at the end#I promise I’ll take care of him afterwards and lick his bite wounds and wash the bramble scratches clean and put the bluey bandaids on#afterwards. I’ll give him a nice bath and water after he ran all that way through the woods. Giving him blue gatorade.#and then I take him to bed and curl up around him and we sleep together like#that scene from totoro. just sleeping on a big fluffy werewolf. Pleaseeee it would be so good for me so so good#it’s enrichment ok?? It’s for my mental health!! And we both get to exercise together like that’s basically hiking right guys??#it’s a great couples bonding activity to be hunted by your werewolf boyfriend right#monster fucker#monsterfucker#trans werewolf#werewolf tag#blood moon bite#< my hornyposting tag#terato#terat0philliac#teratophillia
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how do i turn qantoine’s spontaneous marriage proposal to qetoiles into evidence of his early-days fear of qfrench drifing away and keeping secrets from one another
#the conversation takes place in antoine’s vod: L’ANNIVERSAIRE DE TALLULAH at 41 mins ish#like . okay . its such a fucking crazy moment to me that still lives in my head bc it’s a a joke . but it’s also not#he asks etoiles directly after spiderbit wedding . ‘don’t you want to get married?’#after it gets mentioned*#etoiles turns him down bc he ‘doesn’t have time to fuck [he] needs to kill everyone’#and antoine says ‘well but— just a marriage’ like it’s the act itself that is the most important to him not anything that could come with it#the confirmation of partnership . of having someone to rely on . something that feels to him maybe more certain and solid than the#friendships antoine had at that point . like if he felt things were slipping and he was being left behind he wanted the certainty of#something like a marriage that is traditionally considered More important and certain .#and i think the end of their conversation is notable in how antoine brings up the notion of betrayal — he getting betrayed by others and how#he’s fed up with it . after etoiles says no to the marriage (though specifying that he’s gonna think about it) antoine brings the whole#betrayal thing up after a pause . he doesn’t necessarily consider etoiles as having betrayed him but it’s that lack of certainty#certainty that etoiles has refused to give him that makes him start to open up about how he’s tired of people promising him things (or#seeming to promise him things) only to leave him out and in the dark . and there’s an insecurity there that really shines if you take this#moment into consideration with the Larger Shifting his character is going through .#like tldr ; qantoine has begun to realise that his friends are starting to form deeper bonds with other people and thus keep secrets with#them which to him means leaving him behind . taking notice of this he brings this up to his friends in . not exactly direct ways . he#talks about how he doesn’t like secret keeping but doesn’t seem to push much further and he also tries to remedy the issue#of feeling left behind by doing shit as discussed above ^ however on account of the InHuman i’m not sure he understands what he’s doing very#well . and as we know antoine doesn’t make much progress and ends up retreating into himself and beginning to keep his own secrets . to do#his own shady shit . to work in the shadows and not be honest with any of his friends either . to hold them at arm’s length despite how much#he still cares . the only person he puts his full trust into anymore is pomme . not ayp who he deems too underhanded . not bagz who he sees#as having started the whole ‘secret keeping’ stuff in the first place . and not etoiles who’s actively going down a path with the codes and#resistance that he cannot follow#that was NOT a short tldr . why the fuck am i writing dissertation length tags about MINECRAFT BLOCKS#god whatever who cares i get joy out of this thats what matters#anw if you read this far holy shit ur insane . thank you#i am going to bed now godbless !#jay rambles#qfrench.posting
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It just hit me a full 18 years later that part of why Kyouya probably does so shitty in the morning is because uh. Duh. Hypotension will do that to ya.
From this hypotensive POTSy… I feel ya buddy
#I am supposed to like march in place before I stand up out of bed to get the blood moving but fuck if I ever do#I have instead resigned myself to the knowledge that some mornings I will simply need to crawl to the bathroom#and that my vision will be blacked out for the first 3 and a half minutes of the day#and sometimes people talking before my blood vessels are even functioning properly would also make me want to kill a man#….. don’t think that’s the entire reason he’s like that tho that’s also just personality and temperament babey lmao#but still#that’s rough buddy#Kyouya Ootori#ouran#ohshc
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