#but i do recommend watching some of the show or movies

[theaspengrove]

Tagged by: @shadowuserannie (hiiiiii ^^)

Last song: Shit by Bo Burnham (he just like me fr)

Favourite color: yes

Last book: The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon (1000000000/10, would recommend)

Last movie: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I don’t actually remember. I think I was rewatching the Fnaf movie, but I never finished it. Before that I think I watched Annabelle Comes Home for the third time (I genuinely can’t remember).

Last TV show: The Vampire Diaries

Sweet/Spicy/Savoury: every time spicy foods enter the chat, twenty minutes of my life are taken from me. Every time spicy foods enter my system, I die for twenty minutes. I cannot handle spicy stuff. With sweet, it’s similar, except for the fact that it brings out the masochist side of me, so I end up enjoying it. Unless it’s some pastry. Then it heavily depends on how I feel and what pastry it is. That leaves savoury as the winning champion in my books.

Relationship status: been single all my life, and that’s how I’d like it to continue being.

Last thing I googled: ‘How many teeth can sharks have?’ I was curious. Turns out on average sharks can have 50-300 teeth in their chompers. Current obsession: looking up guitars on Thomann. Do you know how fun it is to look up guitars that can cost up to a whole year’s salary plus your college savings? It’s humbling and depressing /j

Looking forward to: tonight so I can go the fuck to sleep (tee-hee)

tagging: @pearlzier @rexiblueflame @brainrotroulette

Ten People I'd Like To Get To Know Better

(Original post by @off-brand-halloween-ghost I just wanted to shorten the thread)

Tagged by: @spider-jaysart <3

Last song: "Through Me (The Flood)" By Hozier

Favorite color: Blue

Last book: "Mythos" By Stephen Fry

Last movie: ...Mean Girls 2024...

Last tv show: Technically "Agatha All Along"

Sweet/spicy/savory: Savory (but I don't mind a little sweet and spicy action okay)

Relationship status: I'm the final girl and unfortunately it is NOT Jennifer's Body.

Last thing i googled: "Jennifer's Body"

Current obsession: My Writing (laughs in narcissism)

Looking forward to: Getting some art made finally

tagging: @im-not-buying-it-ether @radioactive-earthshine @shadowuserannie @tododeku-or-bust @kara-zor-els @authenticaussie @fancyfade @cheeweburgev @shrugsinchinese @strawberrysoop

I GOT TO 10 SOMEONE GIVE ME A COOKIE

[lactoseintolerentswag]

when they've got interpreting spiderman noir under a specific cultural lens at the function [picture of me going insane]

I cant help myself.. what can i say. And since you've mentioned some research going on behind the scenes.. do you have any fun interpretations? Or even anything fun about the 1800s!

OH HI

Hm. I don't have anything as fun as historical dancing, but I suppose this does give me the excuse (thabk u) to blab about Noir's childishness.

(wow putting this under the cut bc it got longer than I thought it would LMAO)

I think what a lot of people (including Noir's contemporary writers and yes even the spiderverse interpretation) fall for when trying to read Noir's character is the imitation of his idea of what an adult is, that he hides behind. Like Noir's persona is incredibly exaggerated. He's playing pretend. Look here, he's practicing.

A lot of his persona as Noir is imitation! Imitation of his uncle, of Urich, of the violence he's been exposed to. He's running around in his uncle's old uniform. Fundamentally misunderstanding WHY his uncle had been ashamed of it and his role in the war.

And then he goes ahead and steals Urich's alias because it sounds Cool (which is such a teenage thing to do jesus christ).

But like that imitation of The Adult isn't something that's limited to that exaggerated persona that Noir encapsulates. Peter himself is trying So Hard to be grown up and tough and responsible that it loops back around to him being a brat who would try the three guys in a trench coat trick. He even gets beat up for it when trying to defend his aunt. And I mean I've posted about him being a brat.

About how he looks at Urich as a Prime Example of what a strong and knowledgeable adult is (which is part of why he reacts so volatile in response to Urich showing he's not exactly as morally righteous as himself, he's wounded and let down). Whiskey? Whiskey sounds like someone Mature and Cool would drink, I'll have it too. And then proceeds to throw his drink at Osborn and laugh about it. The illusion was broken for me then.

But well it's not broken for everyone. I mean like obviously I poked at the contemporary writers, but I'm more talking about the other characters in the narrative. Mainly Urich and Felicia.

Urich taking Peter under his wing isn't entirely under the motivation to nurture Peter. I think it Becomes that, but he's really envious of that kid. He wants to see him lose that hope that he once had (ruh roh the opposite thing happened, being around the kid made YOU more hopeful Ben. Guess you gotta be good. Hope you don't die now).

Urich really is exposing him to an extremely harsh reality, and taking him places where adults are typically only allowed. He's letting Peter get a glimpse into what it's like, which will eventually enable Noir's tool of violence. All these tests will accumulate into what Peter thinks someone powerful and strong can be and do.

Then his problematic relationship with Felicia (writers I'm malleting you for this). He's clinging to her adulthood and the safety she represents, and he's young but she sees some adult strength in him. I mean she trusts him with the blackmail Urich gave her, which she really. Shouldn't, even if that's what Urich wanted.

Anyway, strength is something she's been consistently drawn to her in her partners. Strength to feel as her own. Even if it's to hers and others' detriment. There's also a part of Peter that's drawn to Felicia because Urich was. He's still honing in the good parts of Urich he wants to be.

I think the one person in the narrative who doesn't fall for it? Is Aunt May. You could argue it's just her being naturally motherly, but for someone who was about to be eaten alive she's pretty frank with Noir. I think she can see that that violence and exaggerated grittiness comes from someone inexperienced and young. Even if she can't consciously recognize the similarities between Noir's persona and Peter's protectiveness of her. I don't think she wants to see that. I actually have a short comic script about that, but it probably will never see the light of day.

Ugh he's like a cat puffing up to scare away a predator. It's fake!!!!! It's all fake!!!!!! He gets intimidated by JJ, he never ties his shoes, gets powers and then immediately guns to beat the shit out of Osborn, sings about the sandman when he's getting his face bashed in, crawls to Felicia all pathetic and sad, and he made a costume to run over roofs at night in.

And it's funny how he's forcing himself to grow up, but also really sad because all the things he's being exposed to is already forcing him to grow up. He's witnessing things no kid should ever see or experience.

Then there's the time period to consider. The aftermath of WWI, being in the midst of the Great Depression, and WWII just around the corner. He's faced incredible hardship and is going to continue to face so much hardship, and he's going to mature faster than he ever should have. It should have made him crash and burn Hard when he became an adult, and to me he still does because I'm ignoring everyone after ewaof LMAO.

As for my research on the 1800s NY that's for my own spider iteration run I'm working on, so not too related to Noir until I reach the 30's :3

Hope that was satisfying!!

[cornleypolytechnicgoeswrong]

I finally compiled my masterlist of mmni quotes

It's pretty long so it's below the cut

Lasers and Quasars

“I really think they shouldn't have a thing for brooms. I think it's unfortunate that our movie hinges on them having a broom fetish”

I Found it in the Bushes

“Sean, I'm Keith. Sean. Sean. Sean.”

“The actor playing the vampire is now openly laughing at the guy playing igor.”

-

“Yes dad.”

 “I'm reminding myself. Sean.”

“Dad, Keith.”

“Yes. Thats me I'm Keith you're Sean.”

“I'm Sean you're Keith.”

“Yes”

“You're the fireman.”

“I've come to the conclusion that it is infact a fire and you should put it out. Good day.”

“The firemen in Versailles don't put out the fires themselves?”

“I'm just Piecing together to story of petunia. So she was a woman who did not believe in vampires but died at the hands of a vampire which meant that Keith delivered his life to try to kill a vampire but seconds before she died - of a vampire - he divorced her.”

“Nope, they're not allowed to.”

-

Who Bun It

“Are you alright? Your beak fell off your face. Must you possibly see a doctor.”

Flat Pack Attack

“May I have a moment alone with the boy?”

“What I like about Steve is only 2 seconds ago he was called ben.”

-

“No need to be angry, no need to grieve. Hello, Steve.”

“Of course I'll be upstairs preparing my finger.”

-

“It's Ben.”

-

“You look like you could use some advice well I'll tell you something extra special nice.”

-

“You have a feeling like the tightening of a sphincter. well that's probably just the feeling of amygdala”

-

“Theres a jar of preserves inside me. That's right I must get it out as fast as I can the only way I know how. I'm gonna use some of these things at the IKEA store to get it out of myself.”

“That was Delta Von Tassle: The Man With No Name (Self-managed).

-

From Russia with Gloves 

“You've surely got a family koala. You could go away with them. You're such a good friend of mine.”

“Koalas are polygamous y'know... Polyamorous”

-

“You want to drive a speedboat to the amazon?”

“I love the full body glove, makes you're whole body look like hand and I like big hand.”

-

“I do”

“It'll take all bloody week”

-

“Sometimes I've wondered about slipping a hand in your pouch but then I've thought no, don't - resist”

“You are a useless man but you're damn fast on Expedia and I appreciate that.”

-

“Yes I've thought the same thing about you.”

-

“Im so sorry Georgina. You said they would all be adopted and looked after but instead they've been stuffed full of drugs and slit ear to ear. I don't know what to say really.”

-

“Together we got rid of the glove and now I'm ready for some interspecies love”

“It doesn't bother you that I'm all skin and no fluff....or a bit of fluff.”

-

A Cat in the Habit 

“No, you don't have horses in america do you?”

“I love the moment where sister Penelope really thinks this scene has ended and the camera will cut away from me but then she is answered by God.”

-

“I've seen you up at that convent, riding around on your horse with your top off, all oiled up.”

“No no only camels”

-

“She's teaching me about how to be a person in the world. How to love somebody else. No matter who you are.”

“You know I like to be smooth dad.”

-

“How to do erotic drawings of men.”

“God can do all of that son.”

“Yes, God not massively known for his eroticism in his artwork”

-

“Celeste is it? I can smell you a mile off. Named after the sky but stinking of hell.”

-

“Perhaps instead of the harpoons, we could read scriptures from the ok! Magazine and pray for her.”

“You may try your harpoons but it will not work if you've a rogue nun on your hands.”

-

“Katie Price breaks up with her latest boyfriend”

“Victoria Beckham redecorates her kitchen”

“Pregnancies....galore”

Careless Whisper 

“Well you know often these things first time round are tricky. Maybe you just need to give it another go. You know what they say, give things another go.”

“Listen I know you're my special special special boy”

“That's what they always say.”

-

“I'm 4 specials and nothing more.”

Dressed for Danger 

“I must be alone with each and every one of you.”

“Do you need thin translucent cloth that is almost completely pointless? Well then you need muslin cloth”

-

“And if you must do that then you've gotta find us first cause we do that via the game of hide and seek.”

“OK 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1″

“Tony I see you behind the umbrella”

“Damn it you're good!”

“I know. I am French.”

-

“Yes you are moist and sad from crying”

-

“I am afraid you are in the midst of a murderer”

“This is not case closed. This is case wide open, like a clam.”

-

“I'm in the midst of a murder?!”

“Murderer!”

“In the - you are - as in -”

“I'm in the midst of a murderer?”

“No you are like-you are standing in the same room as a murderer.”

“There's a murderer in the midst?!”

“I am going to do scene 2 of the show. Celia opens the show and now you will show me what came next. And by showing me what came next, you will show me what went before.”

“Yes. Your midst! In our midst!”

-

A Cop in the Ocean 

“I never stopped being dastardly in general did I?”

“Oh my god, a clown with a Squeegee”

-

“I guess not boss”

“No I just continued to be moist and dastardly but what I wanna do is get a whole crew of girlscouts fiddlin' cookies all over the good part of town.”

“Do a blood test on them and a urine test and you'll find blood in their system. Blood and- and drugs.”

“I can whip up some girl scouts for fiddling if you want that boss.”

-

High Tide School

“Kids have the spirit of a thousand... Enlightened Buddhists”

Suicide Squid 

“I just believe fish shouldn't make people rich”

-

“Their horrid squid outward is my horrid squid inward.”

“Some people wanna be rich. Some people want fame. But others just wanna kill fish.”

-

“You were hurt, you were lost, so you killed all the fish. We've all been there.”

“It’s too late for us we are outward squid”

-

Now Museum Now You Don’t

“Don't try anything boys. My teeth are faster than a nun’s nugget”

-

“My teeth are definitely faster. Your nugget is essentially stationary.”

-

“Never try to take revenge on a small bitter man when its gone past his bedtime cause he will just make you go ‘shlum’ for 15 minutes”

“I'm not who I was and you are who you were”

-

Light Over the Rocks 

“You know what they say, you know what I say your father he just-he just rubbed the rock and roll right out of me he ruined rock and roll for me forever when he ran off and left you and I and you and I, you”

“Us”

“Us that's the word I was looking for, us.”

-

“Y’know what they say about Oranges... They never stop being juicy. And that's why my hair is orange so I'm always juicy y'know what I mean. I've always been like this. Y'know what they say about lights... They're bright and they burn”

“Ooh dear oh dear oh dear. That's how it always goes down at the open mic night. Some people get recognised. Some people get left behind. But what do I know, I'm just Chesney Hawkes.”

-

The Quest for Escape a Lot 

“How did you know my one weakness was nets Arthur?”

“Everyone's weakness is nets, tim. That's why they're called nets. It stands for not easily traversible.”

“What about the s?”

“System. Not easily traversible system.”

Look Out 

“I only ever picked up sticks because I loved you. But now I'm scared. I'm scared, without any sticks, I'll have nothing. I won't be the same man I was before”

“Paul there is always a stick. The stick within Paul. Don't you know about it? Think about it, it runs all the way from your head to the bottom bit of the spine thing”

Enter the Elephant 

“Well you know what they say about cockneys. Fly pluckers, the lot of em.”

“The Young one is foolish. Only a rash man snatches ovaries at a fight."

-

Love Behind Bars 

“Yes you did your tax things and I did that thing where I stole... Hair... From the hairdressers... The floor...i took all the hair no one even wants that y'know”

“I know and here we are on the maximum security wing in prison”

-

“In what way is good mental health like a walnut latte? Like that-no! You can't just have a song and jig enough that it all makes sense. The next verse explains from a scientific point of view. How a walnut latte and mental health are in any way alike.”

“You know what, I always find walnuts so romantic. The way they look like a tiny brain. It makes me think of my brain connecting with your brain.”

-

“Well it makes perfect sense because, which camera are we on, okay you know I'm gonna explain this scientifically cause if you get a walnut and you like the taste of the walnut and it gives you endorphins which actually improves your mental health so if you're eating the walnut then you make your mental health better that's how a walnut oat milk latte improves your mental health”

Temple of the Red Giraffe

“I’m giving you the jewels”

“I thought you were burning my breasts off”

“No its a common mistake but I wasn't”

Nightmare on Bone Street

“You taught your dog to laugh?”

“pride comes before a fall remember”

“Yes he understands the rhythm of comedy very well.”

-

“yes but I don't believe in gravity”

-

“A wardrobe a wardrobe my kingdom for a wardrobe.”

“The lead less dog stops licking out the cream from that dead man. For God's sake get off the floor.”

-

Wishing for Wishy Washy

“I know most girls want ponies not a horrible sick old horse like me”

“Look at that horrible horse!”

“I've got an udder and I don't know why.”

-

When the narrative gets tough everyone else deserts Harry Kershaw to allow him to carry on on his own

“Congratulations on your womb”

-

Fraud of the Blings

“I've made the rope sentient.. Hello!?”

“You've given us our sense of purpose back. You've made us make sense again.” [just something Jonathan said that made me emotional]

“Help me I am a sentient rope. I have knowledge. For the first time I have knowledge. HELP ME! WHAT AM I WHAT AM I WHAT AM I WHY MUST THE ROPE EXIST. WHY DO I DANGLE SO?”

-

Over the Henge 

“Yes, I remember our young days, days where we were young, young before we were old but after we were very young. We were young men not knowkng where to go. But we went there, then we came back from there. We were just young of course. Not old, young. Soon to be young - old. Soon to be old.”

“You do speak a tremendous amount of bollocks sir”

“As all kings must”

The Hound of the Wensleydales 

“I was stuffed with a cheese puffed”

“Did cheese Radio just call him a ball bag? I think cheese radio needs to remember that this is a family show.”

-

“Yeah she's dead and it would appear The method of murder was cheese puffed”

Popes on the Ropes 

“Vampires v popes that's how it's always been in the WWE.”

“Always and forever since BC”

“It's an old, old profession.”

“Popes were around BC?”

“That's right.”

“Yeah we were real forward thinking then.”

“All dinosaurs work for the catholic church”

“We knew it was coming.”

-

Zoomania 

“We've got 8 minutes left and we've got story strands everywhere! We've got the elephant with a bomb on about to be dropped onto the earth, they’ve become gangsters about to kill people and our lead characters are frozen still.”

“Who's the tortoise pervert”

-

Singing in the Aisles 

“Asda is a wizard it would seem”

A Dice with Death 

“It is an unusual form of ventriloqy to begin with your mouth wider than when you were speaking yourself”

-

“It was all building nicely but now all of a sudden we found out that one of them is a cloud.”

-

“I’ve got my own show. I disappear into another man's box every night, I get confused, I don't know where I am, and then bang I'm in a curtain call”

-

“I am dissipating. Someone sprayed me with silver nitrate.”

“I am an elemental creature we cannot be together. Our children would be half human half vapour they would not survive.”

-

“No, I don't even know what that means!”

“It dissipates clouds.”

“What?”

“you need to know more advanced chemistry.”

“He's still putting his trust in the mass proposing ventriloquist”

“I don't think I do.”

-

Star Paws

“Of course the world needs intelligence but I'll tell you what else it needs, balls.”

“Which you come with many”

“I bring balls in spades not literally”

“Sir you can't keep your balls in the cupboard anymore you'll have to take them back”

“There we are”

“Did he just put his balls back on? So he's literally a man who has lots of testicles that's what's going on there.”

Angstronauts 

“You make sure that this ship is ship shape ready.”

“Ribena shareth? Yee.”

-

“I was gonna touch your hand but then I thought it would be horrible cause they're so sweaty.”

“It's always in the shape of a ship.”

-

“Mine are like pickled clams.”

If it Wasn't for Those Pesky Kids 

“It's unusual to blackmail someone during a press conference”

Abandoned Love

“I don't know what's weirder, that they didnt book or that the hats belonged to the premises”

“That's jazz.”

Good Guys Finish Last 

“I convinced Dec that he should actually do the double act with a real ant but um...he said no. And that was a good call.”

-

“I am the sea! Deeper than a thousand lakes, wider than 10 lakes, sideways greater in measurement Than 40 lakes. I am the sea.”

“He ain't no friend of yours. He's been using you like toothpaste. Well it's time the toothpaste became the toothpastee”

-

Ipswitch it up 

“These people with their newfangled things, internet, cars! I tell you what, I was very happy with the flip phone and a horse.”

Croydonosaurus 

“That man-ladybird has been the only thing that I've had in my life the last 5 years that has made me feel again. It's why I'm so competitive with my daughter about love.”

“That doesn't seem healthy. Bringing a 6 foot ladybird into the family home.”

“I suppose it's about a 1 all right now.”

Back to the Tutor 

“Nana you don't think my old friends will think it's weird or strange that my date is my grandma do you?”

“Before we went out to do this with a new team the one thing we said was let's keep it simple at the start. Already we have a half car assembled by a woman who is also the radio. Hold on tight everyone.”

-

“It's not weird or strange at all to have your - such a lovely busty lady as your date”

“No you're right. It's wasn't so much the busty as the grandma that I was worried about.”

Pier Today Gone Tomorrow 

“You take a grudge and you nurture it like a small cat.”

-

No. No I don't think she's the strange one in this. It was the parrot, the sleeping bag man and the medieval princess in a tiktok office interviewing for the role of 'friend' they are the strange things! A woman trying to turn over a new leaf - that's pretty regular I'd say.

“What has happened. It was all going really well, I thought this was going to be a quick scene where we saw it was really hard for Mirabel to turn over a new leaf, but she puts some glasses on, suddenly everything changed and now she's meeting the mayor, the princess and a small gentleman in a sleeping bag.”

-

The Man Who Came in from the Cold Storage 

“As we are in east London I got you some olives served on a bin lid with turmeric as requested.”

-

“You double killed Samson”

“Right,it's very very important - never thought I'd say this one - it's very important we don't shoot an unborn baby during the matinee. I think that's like, a theatre rule. If it isn't, it should be.”

-

“I don't care about Samson. His pool was tiny and not chlorinated.”

“But his heart was big and also not chlorinated.”

Fielding of Dreams

“Enjoying the fact that this is our life! There ain't no ups but there sure as heck ain't no downs. And that's fine with me.”

“I said one domesticated sheep. There's a flock of them. Ones a policeperson, ones a miserable old woman called Mabel and one appears to be smoking.”

“This really is the story of a child called felix who settled.”

-

Fire In the Hole

“A woman with independence is as strong as an oxen full of iron and a fire full of oxygen is as strong as that woman”

It's up to you, Newark Newark 

“Here's a newark hotdog. It's made entirely of meat. Meat bun, meat dog, meat onions.”

“Here are the 4 horsemen. You are the apocalypse.”

-

“Dog meat?”

“Your old 15 year old hips can't handle it anymore.

“No no comma, meat, dog”

-

Ah I take olive oil every day.

Cause you have to. We just produce it naturally.”

-

“They see! We don't see. We don't see the pooing. I'm sorry I forgot about I forgot about the pooing. Pooing? Outrageous. That stops. That stops now and she goes somewhere private. But it's awful. And of course jiminys dad, is David really going to be proud of them now?”

“The books have gone away. How awful. They threw a family of books into the famous Newark River. He knows what it's like to have his mum kicked into outer space. That's how dark this gets, that's how dark sports get man.”

-

“Gillian wait - wooahhh”

“Susan quickly-”

“We gotta help we need to just- wooahha”

[general screaming and shouting]

“PAUSE. PAUSE. PAUSE. NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! I SAY NO!I CANT HANDLE THIS. I'M GETTING LIGHTHEADED CAUSE I AM SO DISGUSTED WITH THIS FILM AND THE PEOPLE IN IT. BUT OF COURSE THEY STOP FALLING OVER IN IT NOW RIGHT.”

“Gillian Gillian come on inside the medical tent.”

“And these were these were the highlights from day one at the games I mean I think it's fair to say that the Olympic games have been well and truly soiled in reputation. What an awful thing to happen”

Ashopocalypse Now

“My names Jack I'm a car mechanic and I've lost my companion”

“Control yourself Sybill Peacock Penis”

-

“Thank you for that précis”

“Who are you? Can you give me a précis of you?”

“I'm Jolene my husband is a slightly crazed military man who seems to have lost perspective on real human connection. Then there's a man whose actually a woman. There's a happy birthday prophecy. They're searching for me but I've lost them but mostly I'm looking for my daughter who loves Jane Austen and she got lost in a Waterstones I think she may also be somewhere else so that's who looking for.”

“It's time! For... Other characters.”

“We come from quite different worlds.”

-

Ashopocalypse Next 

“Remembering when morrisons wasn't boarded up. People could go inside and-”

“Look at the fresh vegetables.”

“This sample isn't going to be enough to create an antidote. We're going to need all of your blood.”

“Moderately fresh yes.”

-

“All the brilliant characters we had and all we're left with is a guy who can't remember which character he is unless his peacock penis is out. I don't care anymore. Family friendly? I don't care anymore. We stop tomorrow. We stop tomorrow that's it. In for a penny in for a pound. Get your peacock penis out as much as you want. If you're not gonna try and stop it I'm not either. [...] what are you all applauding? Are you that culture starved that an umbrella penis gives you that much joy? What has happened to civilisation??”

“One second we'll - we'll need to get authorisation from the local council for that.”

-

Ashopocalypse Then 

“You're one of those weird people aren't you?”

“Nothing weird about us. I'm simply a man who gets involuntary erections and this is Andrew Garfield”

“I'm a pigeon”

“Dressed as a Pigeon.”

The Day Harry Got Cut in Half 

[Not a quote just a note that Lauren does a Scottish accent for 90% of her characters in mmni but the one time the film is actually set in Scotland she ends up doing a welsh accent.]

“Pray don't be fickle. Pray she won't be no pickle.”

[starsweepers]

      THE ANSWER WAS PROBABLY YES... if she could figured out how to use the ancient, cursed artifacts her father kept locked away. but, of course, cleo knew exactly how to get them out if she wanted... though it WOULD probably get her grounded for the same amount of time that the curse would transpire. so it wasn't entirely worth the risk. still, the threat was not without merit.

             but the mummy princess forced herself to breathe s l o w, trying to calm herself. heart in its jar was thudding wildly before it dared to relax. she gave a wide, yet somewhat forced grin. be nice... she was working on that. "sorry, sorry, it's fine. i just... i have a reputation, and i really don't need someone to get their hands or claws on such an unflattering photo of me. it would ruin my whole image. if you're going to capture something of me - cleo de nile - it better be in full elegance. there's your tip of the day."

Did she mean that literally? Ben didn't know, but this wasn't the time to mess around and find out. This was not how a prince was meant to make a first impression at a new school.

"Sorry, sorry...!" He fumbled with the phone, blue eyes frantically searching the screen until he located and pressed the delete button. "I-I've never had one'a these things before; I-I swear I was just messing around!"

[irascible-iridescent]

When ppl say that there is no stories about friendship I can't help but wonder what do they mean? There are lots and lots cartoons for kids and teens about well, friendship! Its the main point of almost all stories there. I don't like watching movies so I dunno if there are a lot of movies about friendship nowadays but I have watched old films about it. Like yeah it will always have some romance too for main characters or for the background characters bc if your story has like 10+ adult ppl most of them would look for relationship for the sake of building a family or sex. But also if you can excuse how the women are drawn you can just read/watch one piece and like NOBODY has any romance or sex there even though there are like billions of adult pirates.

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

Dorian made a face at her description, though he certainly couldn't fault her for it-she was right, every step of the planning process was just another stone in the path leading her to being shackled to that monster for the rest of her days...

It honestly made him shudder, imagining this woman, whom he happily considered a dear friend, this bright, vivacious, kind, free-spirited woman, doomed to a life being married to Pennyworth, having to bear him heirs (who would no doubt grow up to be horrid little brats like their father), forever chained to him, unable to escape...

...it was enough to make his blood boil, but he at least took solace in the fact that they were changing that.

In an effort to turn the conversation towards something happier and lighter, he asked her in genuine interest, "What do you see, in yours and Randall's futures, I mean. Would you like to work at his haberdashery with him, would you like to have children together, would you like to travel and see more of the country...anything of that sort, or...something else entirely?"

[caruliaa]

see the thing about the adults enjoying bluey thing is that part of me really enjoys it seeing both a show meant for very little kids but isnt talking down to them and also seeing an acknowledgment that the even if something is meant for a much younger audience that doesnt mean it lacks quality (and btw part of it is having a seven year old sister but i. am infact onr of those adults who enjoy bluey) but also as someone who was in the target audience (young child) for my little pony when i enjoyed it i am shaking like a wet dog a bit begging you people to please just be normal about this and not ruin it for the target audience okay thank you.

[3416]

Are you watching the new(?) golf documentary on netflix? I've been tempted cause rich men playing a boring ass game feels kind of hilarious to me but I wasn't sure if it was any good!

if you're talking about full swing, then yes!! i finished it last night, and i was surprisingly taken with it. i think netflix has cracked the code on sports docuseries honestly after the major major drive to survive success. they manage to make it engaging both with the personalities in the sports and the way they spin narratives out of thin air. it's so appealing to a much wider audience, and i highly recommend (both full swing and drive to survive). i also just started break point, which is netflix's tennis docuseries, and i'm enjoying that one a ton too.

[snapback-gravity-falls]

It's a damn shame I can't watch the seemingly niche John Larroqutte tv shows and movies.

[ghostfacd]

SASSY MEN DO IT BETTER! | TOM BLYTH

PAIRING. tom blyth x fem!actress!reader

SUMMARY. in which yours and tom’s behind the scenes gossip session goes viral and everyone’s dying to know who’s it about

AUTHOR’S NOTE. thank you to whomever requested this, nonnie i love you! this was so much fun to write and instead of Instagram posts, I decided to do tweets this time! enjoy as always and thank you for the overwhelming support on my au, it means so so much

installment of this au (recommend reading for context)

It started off innocent.

Just you and Tom in the background of a Behind The Scenes video where Rachel was currently talking about her character, Lucy Gray Baird.

You and Tom were fairly close in proximity—as you always were anyway—and you two were scrolling through your phones, showing each other funny videos or pictures of beautiful places that showed up on your feed.

That was until a message popped up from your ex, some jerk who had somehow gained a role in a movie and thought he was now some hotshot in the film industry.

“Oh seriously,” Tom mutters, watching as you tapped on the messages your ex had sent you. “He’s got to be kidding.”

Your ex had apparently “missed you greatly” and wanted to hang out so you two could catch up. He said he watched The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and was in awe of how well you acted. If he wasn’t such a toxic asshole when you two were dating, you would take it as a compliment.

“I don’t know where he has the nerve.” Tom says, giving you a disgusted look. “Like girl, please.”

“Girl please?” You say, giggling as your head fell back into his chest. “Baby, I didn’t know you said things like that.”

“There’s plenty of more where that came from,” he says, “Okay, I need to stop. What if someone on set thinks I’m crazy?”

“They already think you’re crazy.”

Tom rolls his eyes, shoving your shoulder back slightly. “You’re lucky you’re my girlfriend.”

“I think you’re more of the girlfriend in the relationship Tom,” you say, shrugging. You fail to hold in your laugh as you watch Tom’s expression turn into shock. “I’m kidding, thank you for being the best boyfriend I can ask for.”

He grumbles a sure whatever under his breath when you engulf him in a tight hug.

“You’re practically crushing my lungs.” He says a minute in, only to be responded with a roll of your eye. “But hey, I’m much better than that newbie actor ex of yours, right?”

“Is that even a question?” You say, pulling away. “He was just nonchalant and mean to me half of the time. Don’t know why I even dated him.”

Your phone goes off, another message coming from your ex. “Oh, he called you knock off Draco Malfoy, which by the way, isn’t even an insult because he doesn’t even come close to you or Draco Malfoy in terms of looks.”

Tom lets out an honest to God laugh at your commentary, shaking his head in amusement. “Yeah, but didn’t you have a huge crush on Malfoy as a kid?”

You pretend to think for a minute before nodding your head teasingly, “yeah, I guess things never change huh?”

“Okay stop, you know I’m a fake blonde.”

And the entire moment between you and Tom is captured on camera, sending your fans into a frenzy as they watched how cute you two were with each other.

[honeytonedhottie]

beauty and brains⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀☕️

in this post we'll talk about how to implement continual learning into ur life and how to nurture ur intellect and ur beauty, like elle woods for example…💬🎀

MINDSET ;

first off lets take a look at ur mindset. you need to be willing to learn and if ur stubborn then ur not gonna allow urself to learn and become smarter so for that reason mindset is the perfect place to start when ur starting ur beauty and brains journey.

perspective is EVERYTHING when it comes to learning. if u have the belief that "i hate math so much, im so not good at it etc etc" you're already setting urself up for failure. remember that we are in charge of our own learning.

figure out the sources of ur limiting beliefs about urself and challenge them. ask urself "why do i think im bad at math (or any other subject)" and the answers that u give urself, CHALLENGE them.

UNDERSTAND THAT ;

before we go any further understand that no subject is too complicated to learn and if ur experiencing that then ur learning it the wrong way…💬🎀

if ur having a hard time understanding a subject in school because of the way ur teacher explains it, ask another teacher at ur school and if that doesn't work turn to online resources OR just ask chat gpt. i ask chat gpt to help me break down math problems and explain how to do them and it works rly good for me.

READING ;

from my own experience i feel like reading is so so important. bcuz reading helps u to expand ur vocabulary and improves comprehension and so much more. personally i love to read so this isnt hard for me to do but if u originally dont like to read here are some ways to romanticize reading.

♡ start with topics/genres that u love

♡ set small goals (like reading for 5-10 minutes a day) and then building upon those goals

♡ experiment with physical books, e-books etc to figure out what u like best

WHAT U WATCH ;

i watch a lot of discussion based youtube videos, and video essays, documentaries etc and i have learned so much from them and they're actually one of my favorite ways to learn things. so i highly recommend watching some. watching things like this is so important because they provide a deeper understanding of real-world issues, cultures, and events that we might not encounter in our daily lives.

HOW TO UNDERSTAND ;

understanding what u read and what u learn is so so important. the way i make sure that i understand what im learning is through writing papers. writing papers about things that interest me or things that i learn has helped me to retain what i learn instead of forgetting it all.

another key thing to remember is PRACTICE. if u dont practice what u learn you'll literally forget it. use everything that u learn and if u can't physically use it, imagine urself using it.

MAKE IT A GAME ;

this is where the beauty aspect of the phrase "beauty and brains" comes into play. make learning like a GAME. i think thats how u get smart the best. just implement it into ur daily life.

for example if u have a habit of watching an episode of ur favorite show a day (or multiple) between episodes read for x amount of time. if u go for a run everyday listen to an audio book whilst running. think of that scene in the movie legally blonde where elle was reading her textbook while working out.

[coffee-and-geto]

“IS THIS WHAT YOU EXPECTED?”

✶ pairing: ryomen sukuna × f!reader

✶ summary: yuji itadori had been your crush for a while now. to try and get closer to him despite your bashful nature — you asked him to a movie night at your place. but nothing goes as planned when sukuna takes possession of him and makes you a deal to help you get closer to your friend…

✶ warnings: +18, smut, nsfw, possessive! sukuna, dirty talk, degradation (slut, brat), dub con, dom! sukuna, sub! reader, fingering (f! receiving), sex (p in v), yuji is an aged up character, swearing, fanart found on pinterest if you know the artist let me know pls.

✶ wc: 2, 946

“Oops…” murmurs Yuji as you come down the stairs of your house with a small stack of DVDs in hand.

The bowl of popcorn that you filled just five minutes ago for your movie night is now empty, and you blink as you approach the kitchen counter. “Yuji…” You snort and go to fetch another bag of popcorn from one of the cupboards to refill the bowl.

The sound of popcorn kernels clattering fills the room, and Yuji has a slight pout on his lips. He takes a few hesitant steps toward you and seeks your gaze. Still new to the romantic feelings you had for him, his unusual closeness catches you off guard, and you slowly back up to the counter in measured steps. You force a natural smile, and your heart races at the sight of your friend, whose eyes show disappointment.

“It’s nothing, Yuji. I usually have a lot of popcorn,” you try to reassure him. “But you have quite an appetite for such a fit teenager.” You swallow thick.

Yuji lets out a nervous laugh, seemingly more at ease than a few seconds ago, “You think so?”

Your eyes drift down to his body, eyeing his exposed forearms (he had kept his sorcerer uniform on despite your recommendation to get comfortable), and the defined muscles do not escape your notice: for a teenager his age, Yuji Itadori was very fit.

“Yeah... Pretty much…” Your eyes linger for a moment longer before you look back up at the pink-haired boy whose face you dream of covering with kisses.

Dressed in your pajama shorts and a simple t-shirt, it’s hard to stay perfectly calm, especially when your crush is less than two meters away from you.

Yuji steps forward nonchalantly, hands in his pockets, and steals a piece of popcorn which he skillfully tosses into his mouth. “So, what are we going to watch?”

“I was thinking about some thriller movies or something like that. I’m not too fond of horror movies,” you admit with a shy smile.

“Oh yeah? Why? Are you afraid you won’t sleep at night after that?” Yuji teases you. You nod toward the small stack of DVDs, and he takes the liberty of looking through your selection. “Scream’s pretty good,” he comments, picking it up to examine it with a ‘professional’ eye. Yuji’s brown eyes land on you, and you feel an uncomfortable warmth rise in your neck. “The DVD is new. Have you seen it before?” he asks with a surprisingly gentle, almost… concerned and indulgent tone.

You shake your head.

“I won’t spoil it, but I really liked it,” Yuji sets the other DVDs aside and shows you the one for ‘Scream.’ “Is that okay with you?”

You nod faintly, and a slit appears on Yuji’s cheek. It opens, revealing two sharp canines that are easily recognizable from spending so much time with your friend.

“Damn it, you two are really embarrassing to watch.” A voice escapes from the slit — the mouth that acts as an intermediary with Ryomen Sukuna.

“Hey! Go back to sleep!” exclaims Yuji, almost slapping himself, which makes you wince.

A hysterical laugh echoes, and black marks now streak your friend’s face. The laughter and the slit disappear, making way for Ryomen Sukuna. He stretches his arms up, flexing smoothly. “Ahhh!”

You try to back away but have forgotten you’re leaning against the kitchen counter. Now you’re stuck with the King of Curses…

“D-Don’t come any closer…” you whisper in a trembling voice, eyes wide with terror.

Another hysterical laugh escapes Sukuna’s lips. His eyes — so different from those of your lover — examine you from head to toe, and one eyebrow arches. “What was his type again? Tall girls with big asses?”

You blush at his mocking tone and don’t dare say a word. Even your breathing seems to have become labored, as if the oxygen had thickened in just a few seconds.

A sneer never leaves Sukuna’s lips as he approaches you with an overwhelming air of confidence. When he reaches you, he narrows his eyes and looks you up and down a second time. “So this is the kid you want to flirt with?” His voice is dripping with arrogance…

You swallow hard and don’t dare to respond, your throat tight and your wide eyes fixed on the tattoos of the King of Curses.

“Come on, rabbit, cat got your tongue?” Sukuna snickers.

You shake your head, and a rough whisper escapes your dry throat, “N-No…”

“Oh really? Because the atmosphere a minute ago was so cringeworthy! You two looked like a couple of idiots fresh out of their mother’s womb, ugh!” Sukuna leans in provocatively, his hot breath brushing your cheek and stealing your own.

“What do you want from me?” you murmur reluctantly, pulling your head back slowly to find some breathable air.

“Nothing, just to avoid hearing your terribly awkward conversation any longer,” Sukuna replies, shrugging.

“It wasn’t awkward, you made it seem that way. Give Yuji back his body,” you dare to retort. Your heart pounds faster and harder in your chest, loud enough for Sukuna to hear.

“Nah, I don’t feel like it. I don’t want to deal with the stifling aura of a hormonal teenager again.” Sukuna rolls his eyes and tilts his head to the side. “Do you like this brat?”

You squint without answering.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he raises a playful eyebrow. “How about we make a deal?”

“No,” you reply immediately.

“What an ingrate! I grant you my tolerance and you dare refuse a deal I give you?” he retorts with a much less sympathetic aura. His hands leave his pockets to rest on either side of the counter, effectively trapping you with him. “I don’t recall asking you a question.”

And his voice immediately makes you regret your words. Being trapped at home with Ryomen Sukuna was not something you could let slide, much less making a deal with him. “No, actually— I—”

“Hush.”

Sukuna’s hands slide from the counter to your hips, gripping them firmly, making you startle in place. His lips descend to your neck, leaving a line of soft kisses, causing a slight shiver. His eyes notice the goosebumps on your skin and his lips curl. “Is this what you expected?” His whisper reverberates like a shockwave through your entire body.

“I— You— No,” you manage to reply almost in a gasp.

“Here’s my proposition then. I help you get closer to the brat on one condition.” A manic smile lights up Sukuna’s face, and your heart now tries to escape your chest.

“What?” you let out almost in a whimper when he presses his lower body against yours.

“Let me use you.”

Your breath immediately reacts to the panic that overwhelms you. No way. You’ll end up dead in that case.

“No, that’s out of the question—” You try to finally slip out of his embrace, but your strength doesn’t match Sukuna’s. He applies more pressure on your hips and plants a kiss on your trapezius muscle. "Just for tonight. Nothing bad will happen to you…” His insistent tone is like a flirtatious purr.

The sensation of Yuji’s lips and much more on you and the idea of being closer makes the blood rush to your head, so how can you refuse such a tempting offer?  But the awareness that he’s using Yuji’s body cools your thoughts.

“No, I can’t— It’s disrespectful to Yu—”

“Are you his owner to know what respect means? Do you think I’m unaware of his adolescent thoughts imagining you with him?” Sukuna’s hands move up to your waist, his nails digging into your back, eliciting a whine from you. “The number of times he’d dreamt of hearing you moan like that?”

If your face could get any redder at this point, the blood might as well explode from your body at any moment.

Your features twist in irritation and anger at what he said next. “If I let myself get fucked by someone like you, I’m sure I won’t come out of it alive!”

A chuckle is your only response. “I’ll try to go easy then. But no promises.” Then he grabs you by the hips to lift you onto the counter and roughly spreads your legs. He slips between them and captures your lips in a rough and hungry kiss. Your breath leaves your lips as he swallows it, not giving you a moment to respond to his taunt. You respond against your will, your lips devouring each other and teeth clashing.

Sukuna sinks his teeth into your lower lip, making you suck in a sharp breath. His wet tongue soothes your aching flesh and moves down your throat to lick a strip of bare skin. The tension and weight of his movement make you shiver, and you hastily take the initiative to remove your shirt, revealing your chest encased in a bra. It rises and falls with your breathing, radiating a heat full of desire.

Sukuna lets out an appreciative whistle that makes you blush. “Do I still need to take control?” he teases with a smirk. “Or is this the behavior of a slut?”

The label makes your heart tremble, and your hands quickly find Sukuna’s neck to bring his addictive lips back to yours. He immediately returns your kiss and plays for a few seconds with the strap of your bra before finding his way to the clasp and undoing it. The bra falls to the floor, and Sukuna’s hands find the curves of your breasts. A whimper escapes your lips, and you close your eyes for a second to savor the new sensation.

A growl is blown from him after breaking away from your lips to snake a path to your collarbone, which he wastes no time in nibbling on. A small jolt shakes your belly, and you tilt your chin up to give him more access to your body. You almost desperately try to remain silent, but it’s difficult when Sukuna’s mouth suckles on a nipple anything but gently. The pressure makes you moan and grimace in pleasure.

“Sukuna—”

“Fuck…” he curses under his breath, moving to your other nipple. He gently nibbles on the hardened, sensitive bud while his other hand keeps the other nipple occupied, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. You hum and place your hands on your thighs to keep them from trembling — in vain. “The kid wasn’t wrong,” Sukuna murmurs. He wraps his arms around your waist and swiftly carries you to the couch. Your back sinks into the soft cushions as Sukuna’s skilled fingers find the hem of your shorts and remove them completely, with no regard for your embarrassment. His legs straddle the armrest of the couch, and he brutally spreads your thighs, remaining still, his eyes fixed on the large wet spot at the center of your panties. “Who was talking about respect for whom, again?” A dark, mocking smile questions you.

A tremor runs through your muscles, and you prepare to close your legs, but Sukuna anticipates the movement. He places his hands on the inside of your plush thighs to keep them wide open. “Is the dirty slut afraid?” He chuckles before sliding a finger along the side of your underwear, teasing and toying with your swollen core. “So wet f’me…” Your eyes take in the sight of Sukuna’s face: dilated pupils, slightly parted mouth, and almost ragged breathing. He’s practically drooling at the sight of your clothed intimate area.

Blood pounds in your temples when he easily removes your panties, leaving you naked beneath him. His forefinger and middle finger hover over your wet, dripping entrance. “Already worked up by a few kisses…” he comments, and you can only look at him pathetically.

“Sukuna, please…” you whimper as the sensation of his two fingers gliding from your sensitive, throbbing bundle of nerves to your wet folds makes you want to moan even more.

“Please what?” he repeats, focused on your entrance that tightens and closes around nothing. “Already begging?” He bursts into a fit of laughter. “I can’t wait to fill you with my dick…”

“Need you,” you whine with a pout and pleading eyes. And God, he wants to take you rough and fast at that moment.

“Again.” He looks up at you. “Beg for it.” His brown eyes burn with desire — a desire so intense, it could destroy if he didn’t play it patiently.

“Please… Sukuna… I—” But you’re cut off by a yelp from your throat as Sukuna’s fingers plunge hard into you, and he hisses to contain himself.

You’re incredibly tight. Your gummy walls cling to his fingers as if afraid they might escape.

“Fuck… You’re so wet…” He growls, moving his fingers in and out, making you tighten even more. Uncontrolled moans escape from you, resonating in the room.

“Sukuna… hgnn— so good…” you moan pathetically, squirming under him like a trapped mouse in his snare. His pace doesn’t change, going in and out of you, reaching that spot deep inside you each time he goes deeper.

“That’s it… Moan my name,” he murmurs, accelerating his pace. You convulse on the couch and grip the edges of the seats as if your life depended on it.

And reaching the depths of your pussy, Sukuna grins and bursts into laughter at your body’s reaction. You almost scream his name, and your walls swallow his fingers. They curl deep inside your womb, and your trembling legs and ragged breath testify to your state approaching the edge of ecstasy. “Sukuna— Please… so close...”

“That’s it… Cum on my fingers… I want to see you fall apart in front of me…” he whispers in a husky voice. The speed of his fingers thrusting into you increases, hitting that spot that makes your toes curl and almost scream his name.

“Cumming…!” you pant as your back arches and your walls spasm around his thick fingers. You squirt and sob his name pitifully.

Sukuna curls his lips into a sadistic smile and gradually slows the pace of his fingers inside you. He eventually withdraws them completely, admiring the shiny slickness coating his forefinger and middle finger.

“Hmm…” he hums, bringing his fingers to his mouth to taste you. He growls in satisfaction and wastes no time removing his pants and underwear, leaving you barely a moment to take in the sight of his throbbing bulge finally being freed.

If you had bet on Yuji’s length size, you could have won much more money than you thought.

It was just like in your dreams, large, thick, aching, and slightly veiny. Your lips part, and you don’t take your eyes off its reddened, sensitive tip. Sukuna grips his length in his hand and brings it to your needy pussy. The tip meets your swollen clit and taps it.

Sukuna’s lenght twitches slightly in his hand, eager to fill you. The aching tip glides along your folds, spreading them to stop and position itself at your entrance.

“Uh… Can we go—” But you’re cut off. You scream in surprise as his thick member fills your hole in one go, reaching the bottom with almost no difficulty — except for your tightness revealing a side of Sukuna you never thought you’d see: him, teeth and jaw clenched, holding back everything except a low growl and dozens of curses to convey how good you feel wrapped around him. His member splits you in a delicious embrace. Eyes closed, he starts a slow in-and-out motion, forcing you to sob his name in pleasure.

But the only downside was that you weren’t quite used to him yet, your body writhing to try to slow the pace. His hips buck against yours more and more quickly. With each thrust, he hits your gummy spot, making you tighten around him and moan his name, the sound of which is like music to his ears.

Another growl escapes Sukuna as he buries his head in the crook of your neck, nibbling your shoulder. “Take it… Take it…” he keeps murmuring between loud breaths.

“F-Fuck… It’s too much…” you gasp, gripping his shoulders with your hands. Your nails dig into the flesh of his shoulders, and every time his slams into you hit your g-spot, it’s like you’re about to cum any moment, fucking both your cunt and your brains out mercilessly.

“Take it, slut,” he growls in your ear, his lenght twitching in you, ready to fill you with every pound he makes. “I’m gonna fill you up… Fill you until you scream you can’t take it anymore…”

His hips relentlessly roll against you, and Sukuna revels in the cries of pleasure you express. A knot forms in the pit of your stomach, on the verge of exploding. One final pound inside you and it bursts as you reach your climax around him, fucking you even through your orgasm. Your chest rises and falls at such a rapid pace it feels like you’re emerging from a near-drowning experience.

Your waning orgasm is quickly followed by Sukuna’s. “Sh-Shit… Fuuuuck…” he growls in your ear, his hands gripping your hips tightly. Without warning, his orgasm take over him and he finishes inside you with his hot, thick load into your tight hole.

Now, only rough groans and sighs are heard in the room. You let your head fall back onto one of the sofa seats and close your eyes, exhausted. Sukuna slowly withdraws from you and lies down by your side, one hand still around your hip in a possessive embrace.

“You know, brat, if you’re not Yuji’s type, at least you’re mine. Just sayin’.”

✶ a/n: this fic wasn’t planned MWAHAHAHA! i’m sorry tho 😭 it’s been 3 weeks or more than i’m promising to post my fashion designer! suguru fic and i didn’t finish it. i’ve got problems to solve and it’s making me more stressful than i thought 🫠 hope you enjoyed anyway (it’s my first smut tbh)

[candyforthecorvids]

This post is just like those "How to Study like a Harvard Student!" Things but for ND people with executive dysfunction who can't even START studying.

Listen to Music, seriously it works so well. If you speak multiple languages, listen to music in the one you ARE NOT using. Listening to music w/o words is good for things like essays and reading, but with things like math, I 100% recommend listening to anything you really like. I can leave song reccs for no word songs if anyone wants them.

Put on a movie, TV show, or video you've already seen a million times. It works the same as the music, but you're more likely to be distracted. It's important that you've already seen it. Otherwise, you'll just end up watching TV.

Buy stationary that you LIKE and ENJOY USING. If you see pens that you REALLY LIKE but the other pens are cheaper, get the ones you actually like. You will use them more. You will *enjoy* using them.

Not so much related to executive dysfunction, but I HIGHLY recommend getting folders for your classes. Even if it's only for a few, if you pull it out at the beginning, you'll have all your stuff inside and a place where you can put your papers instead of just shoving it into your bag.

Let yourself stim out loud while you do homework. Seriously, it can help you remember things and help you stay focused.

Eat your favourite snacks or drink something you enjoy drinking. It makes doing things so much more bearable, plus free dopamine.

(Edit: I reblogged some of people's additional thoughts)

I can't really think of anything else, but feel free to add stuff in the comments.

Disclaimer for the masses, I am not a doctor. These are from my own personal experience as someone w audhd. :)

[artdcnaldson]

in the sex lessons au, reader was definitely introduced to porn by patrick. i bet he also gave her massages that “required” her to take off her shirt and bra and always ended up with his hands on her nipple….

Rating: E (18+)

Warnings: SMUT (mutual masturbation, exhibitionism kinda, more manipulative perverts but that’s par for the course)

A/N: how did you know I eat this up. I wrote a 3 part Steve Harrington fic with this exact plot like…. This is my bread and butter simply. Unedited sozz

It was easy to succumb to temptation when it was just the three of you— holed up in Art’s dorm, hidden away from the rest of the world.

A few cans of beer, cold from his mini fridge, the warm press of your legs on top of Patrick’s, of Art’s chest against your back. There’s a movie playing on Art’s laptop— some shitty action movie he’d rented for the three of you.

“Have you ever watched porn?” Patrick asks you bluntly.

Your eyes widen in surprise. “What? No— websites like that give you computer viruses, and stuff.” Art laughs, his body shaking with it. You suppose it is a little childish, but you’re being completely earnest. “What? Doesn’t it?”

Patrick laughs, shakes his head. “If that were true I would’ve gone through a thousand computers by now.”

You grimace, toss an empty beer can at him. “You’re so fucking gross.”

But Patrick just laughs, takes another swig of his beer, leans forward curiously. “So… I mean, do you just use your imagination when you’re touching yourself?”

Heat burns in your cheeks, and you roll your eyes. “Shut up.”

“Well, how do you know what you need to imagine if you’ve never seen anyone fucking? Is it just sweet kisses and hand holding?”

You kick him and Art comes to your defense like the sweetest knight in shining armor. “C’mon, Patrick, leave her alone.” Art’s hand is splayed across your tummy— firm, warm, protective. Patrick pretends like he doesn’t hear him, leans closer.

“I wanna know what innocent little fantasies you get off to. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” It’s hard to resist Patrick when he’s so close, when Art’s so close, when you feel warm and dizzy all over.

You sigh softly, relishing as he presses his warm body against your side, so it’s Patrick and Art and you sandwiched hot between them. “You realize you’re being a major fucking perv, right?” You ask in a low tone, meeting his gaze through your lashes. He nods, and you’re so conscious of his hand between your knees as his eyes bear into yours. But he wants you to continue, so you swallow and go on. “I dunno, sometimes it’s not about a fantasy. It’s just about me wanting some stress relief, or, like, my body needing it and it’s too hard to ignore.”

Art’s fingers flex against your stomach and you take a slow breath. “But, I mean, I guess I fantasize about being desired, like, taken care of I guess,” you mumble, mortified that you’re admitting it.

Patrick grins, runs his thumb along the inside of your knee. “That’s so sweet.” You roll your eyes, take a long drink, and try to ignore the heat in your stomach. “Do you want to see what Art likes to watch?”

Art’s eyes go wide, and he shakes his head. “No, no, we’re not doing that,” he says firmly. Patrick brushes him off, ignoring his pleas as he grabs the laptop and pulls up his trusty porn site. You peer over Patrick’s shoulder, eyes going wide as he opens to the home page, to all the recommended videos.

Your jaw drops, just a bit, and you let your eyes rake over the screen. It’s all right there— flagrant. Pretty girls with dicks in their mouths, pussies, hands. Lewd titles, the preview videos playing brief glimpses of obscenity.

“Aww, Art, this is so adorable,” Patrick teases as he scrolls. “Girl best friend deepthroats like a champ. Morning lovemaking ends in creampie.” Art mumbles something against your shoulder, blushing so hard you can feel the heat emanating from his skin.

Patrick clicks the latter and it opens to slow, deep kissing. A mess of tongues, rife with need. You know it’s normal to watch, to an extent— a right of passage, or whatever. But watching it feels so voyeuristic, so invasive. Especially when you’re practically in Art’s lap, when Patrick’s hands are hot against your skin.

Patrick gets bored of soft kissing and wandering hands and skips five minutes ahead in the video. By the time the buffering catches up, they’re fucking onscreen, all slow and sweet. Still kissing, still holding hands. But you also see the way the man’s cock sinks into her, can hear the moaning, the wet sounds of her body taking him in.

Art exhales a shaky breath against your skin, makes you shiver. He’s hard, you can feel that clearly against you, and you know he’s provably fucking mortified over it. But he doesn’t move to turn off the video, doesn’t do anything. His hand twitches against your stomach and you realize he’s still holding you.

The video is short— too short, you decide. The man finishes, you get a close up of the woman’s pussy, of cum dripping from her entrance. It makes your face burn, makes desire burn equally as hot as your embarrassment. The video ends, and Patrick stops auto play.

“Art, that shit is so fucking boring.” It snaps your attention from the paused screen over to him, who seems completely unaffected. You might actually believe he was unaffected if he wasn’t visibly hard.

You peer over at Patrick curiously. “What do you watch?”

He smiles, like he’d been waiting for you to ask, and grabs the laptop. Art makes a weak complaint that Patrick is going to fuck up his recommendations, but is ignored. Patrick logs in to an account and opens a tab for liked and saved videos.

Oh. You lean forward for a better look, expression twisting between shock and interest and confusion and disgust. Patrick’s tastes vary widely— venturing into areas you hadn’t even known were sexual. It’s like he had thrown everything at the wall to see what would stick, and everything just stuck.

“Oh my god, Patrick,” Art mutters, equally as intrigued as you are. “What the fuck, dude.” Art steals the laptop, scrolling through thumbnails of feet and anal and gangbangs and piss and bdsm dungeons and girls in stupid fucking schoolgirl costumes.

Patrick grabs the laptop back roughly, scrolls and clicks. “This one’s good, it’s perfect for when you just want to cum fast. Art, I know you don’t have that problem.”

Art flips him off and looks at the screen, reading the title aloud. “One hour squirting and cumshot compilation. Could you be any grosser?”

“Yes, actually. Sorry I don’t watch your sweet lovemaking bullshit.” Patrick shoves him, then Art shoves him back, and suddenly the laptop is on the floor in front of you and you’re just watching while they squabble on either side of you.

The video is exactly as described— it skips all of the pretense, all of the build up. It’s just people cumming, over and over and over. Your body feels like a live wire as you watch, lit up all over.

You squeeze your thighs together, conscious of the heat and wetness between them. Patrick clocks it— of course he does. A smirk plays at his lips.

“Maybe it’s not so disgusting, Art. She likes it.” Patrick relishes in the hazy, innocent look in your eyes as you meet his gaze. Relishes in the embarrassment and the need. “It’s good, huh? Getting to watch?”

You nod and Patrick takes your hand, slips it beneath the waistband of your shorts. “Go ahead. You want to.”

You shiver, temptation itching down to your fingertips. Sensing your hesitation, Patrick spits into his hand, slips it into his own shorts. You manage to hold out a few more seconds before you let your fingers brush over your clit.

“C’mon Art, don’t be a fucking creep,” Patrick says, moaning as he works his fist faster. Art swears under his breath and quickly shoves his own hand into his boxers.

You’re all so close, bodies pressed together hot and firm. You can feel the way their bodies move with each stroke, the way their thighs tense as they instinctually buck into their fists.

You moan, head falling against Art’s shoulder. His hand splays against you, inches up, brushing against the underside of your tit. It makes you whimper.

Patrick grabs your face, redirects your attention back to the screen. “Keep watching, it’s getting good.” His voice is strained, affected.

He usually lasts longer than this when he’s in your hand or your mouth, but maybe the video really was that good. Surely it didn’t have anything to do with you, panting and writhing as you rubbed at your clit beside him.

For once, Patrick cums first— doubling over, groaning muffled into your hair. Then it’s Art, whining so pretty, pulling you closer, mouthing at your shoulder as he comes down. And then you, overwhelmed by the two boys on either side of you, cumming with a rush of wetness that ruins your already soaked panties.

You sit there panting as the video continues playing— obscene wet, lewd sounds, wanton moans. Art hits stop, shuts the laptop and kicks it away.

You wonder why every time you hang out with them, it always seemed to end like this. And you wonder why you don’t mind, not even a little bit.

[manikas-whims]

Skincare with the LADS Men

inspired by THIS recent text with Xavier where he said we left our pack of face masks in his fridge 🥺

SYLUS

🐦‍⬛ He maintains good skincare and overall hygiene. He's the type who's like “if i’m going out to commit some illegal deeds or kill an enemy, might as well look good doing it. His healing ability helps maintain a better skin as well.

🐦‍⬛ When you find out, you're kind of surprised that he's so well-maintained. And he takes offense that you'd have such low opinion of him just because of his profession. He scoffs. “Your assumptions wound me, kitten. Even the leader of Onichynus cares a little for his appearances.”

🐦‍⬛ Luke and Keiran later on giggle and reveal to you how their boss makes an extra effort to look better whenever you are coming to see him.

ZAYNE

❄️ There's a difference between hygiene and skincare. So just because he's a doctor, doesn't necessarily mean he's good at taking care of himself. Yeah he might take a bath and always put on clean suits but he doesn't really bother much with skincare itself.

❄️ It's not that he cannot do it but he simply doesn't have the time for it due to his packed schedule at the hospital. Almost twice or thrice when you surprise-visit him during his late night shifts, you've found him shaving his stubble at his office’s washroom lol. There are some faint cuts on his jaw and you fuss over them much to his delight.

❄️ His skin and body suffer mostly due to his eating habits. More often than not you've caught him sneaking way more macarons than good for his teeth. Not to mention, he doesn't eat proper meals due to his work.

❄️ “It’s not what it looks like. I'm a doctor. Obviously I know how to manage my health.” He laughs sheepishly because it's not often that he's on the receiving end of scolding, especially from you. You end up having to pay regular visits and watch over him for a while, bringing in full meals as is needed for him.

RAFAYEL

🌊 Thanks to him working at odd hours, eating at odd times, passing out on the couch every now and then that it's expected he'd be careless but he does in fact take proper care of his skin. And it's better than yours. (well ofc his Lemurian genes are partly to thank but he's a fish out of water so he does need to take care).

🌊 He knows his skin is amazing and he'll make a show of it in front of you. Not to make you jealous but because he wants you to praise him for it, call him pretty and handsome. “Come onnn!!” He drawls out. “Admit that I’m way prettier than those idols you're a fan of.”

🌊 Definitely enjoys doing skincare routines with you. Will indulge in manicures and pedicures if you ask, chatting with you all the while. Even recommends certain products that would benefit your skin. And offers to do your facial and massage.

XAVIER

⭐ Canonically isn't concerned with skincare. Even MC is shocked at the fact that his skin is doing so good despite any proper care. Probably the type who uses those “5 in 1” products 😭. Or grabs just any product without much care for the actual ingredients involved. How his skin and hair are doing alright? You have no idea..

⭐ You offer to do his skincare and he agrees because that just means he gets to spend more time with you. Enjoys the sensation of your hands on his face. Melts into a puddle if you wash his hair. You also try fixing some of his eating habits because alternating between cup noodles and meat ain't it. And though it takes a while, you figure out his skin type and help him get his own products.

⭐ You both develop a habit of putting on sheet masks while watching late night movies or playing video games. Sometimes you two just end up lazying around and talking about mundane stuff.

⭐ But even if you set up a whole routine for him, if he stays over at your place, then he's definitely using your shampoo. And if you ask him why, then he smiles innocently and answers, “Oh..it’s not that I am particularly biased to the product. It’s just that I like it when I smell like you.”

» MASTERLIST «

[lovebugism]

hi bug! Can I request you a ditzy or shy!reader where some girl flirts with Steve in front of her maybe at Family Video? Little angsty because she feels insicure of herself? Thank you🩷

ty for requesting!! — steve doesn't realize he's being flirted with because he's so in love with you (ditzy!fem!r, hurt/comfort, 1.6k)

You color in a scribbled heart with enough vigor to break the pink crayon in your hand.

Steve always hangs your drawings in his locker in the Family Video break room, so you tend to take your art pretty seriously. ‘Cause there’s absolutely nothing humorous about the two stick figures holding hands — each of them vaguely resembling the both of you — that you’re passionately scribbling behind the front counter.

He’d watch you work your magic on a piece of lined scrap paper if he could. He’s too busy tending to a regular now. Mia, he thinks, or maybe Maia. She rents movies every week, but according to the system, she doesn’t watch a single one of them. 

“Well, what do you recommend?” she questions with a smirk on her painted lips, leaning her elbows on the counter until her chest juts out.

Steve leans slowly backward and tries not to cough at the overwhelming scent of her fruity perfume. “Uh… I don’t know,” he answers with an unenthusiastic shrug. “I usually just watch whatever.”

The girl squints her dolled-up eyes. “You don’t have a favorite movie?” 

Steve ponders the question for a moment. ‘Cause he doesn’t have one, really. All his favorite films are your favorites because he spends the majority of movie nights watching you instead.

So, at a loss of how to answer, he tells her your first choice. “The Star Wars movies are pretty alright.”

“Do you have them here?” she wonders.

Steve nods and points her in the other direction. “Yeah. In the Sci-Fi section.”

“Can you show me?” the girl questions with a hopeful glint in her pale eyes. Everything about her sparkles with mischief, like a predator hunting for prey. Stealthy, like a ninja, Steve would’ve called the approach a couple years ago. Long before he found you.

He’s more into forthright proclamations of love these days — bubblegum pink lipstick stains pressed to his cheek and handmade pictures drawn in crayon.

But, for the sake of Keith totally reaming him for not helping a customer, Steve nods and rounds the front counter. “Uh. Yeah. Sure. Follow me,” he urges halfheartedly, sparing you a forlorn glance as he goes. You’re much too distracted to see it, though.

You’re too distracted to notice most things, really.

That’s why Robin’s angrier than you are about the whole thing. She exhales a big huff and stands across from you, peering over the tower of tapes there. “God, he’s so oblivious,” she groans.

Your hand freezes as you color in Steve’s vest. You glance up at her with wide eyes, heart sinking at the annoyed look on her freckled features. “Huh?”

“Steve. That girl’s been drooling over him for five minutes, and he hasn’t even realized.”

Your brows pinch. “What girl?”

“The one that’s hanging all over him,” Robin answers, nodding her head to the other side of the store. The girl in question lingers at Steve’s side, a little too close to be casual. She hangs on every word he says — which certainly can’t be a whole lot, considering he knows next to nothing about that Star Wars franchise.

“I thought she was just being nice,” you shrug.

“She was flirting with your boyfriend,” Robin corrects in a monotone. “It was disgusting. I’m pretty sure her flirt got all over my pants.”

You look back at the two across the room. Steve tenses when the pretty redhead presses her chest against his arm. For the sake of not making things totally awkward, he forces himself not to shrink away. What had seemed virtually innocuous to you now makes your stomach ache. 

“She’s so pretty…” you observe quietly to yourself. 

Robin only scoffs. “Yeah. If you’re into girls like that.”

You don’t know exactly what she means, but it makes you lean slightly forward in interest anyway. “Do you think… Do you think Steve’s into girls like that?”

“No,” Robin answers, features twisted like it’s obvious. “He’s into girls like you.”

For the first time ever, you find that slightly hard to believe. Why would Steve ever pick you over someone like her? The way she smiles is pretty. The way she laughs is pretty. Even the way she talks is pretty.

And what do you have? A couple of stupid crayon portraits?

A strange feeling sears your chest when Steve and the pretty girl walk back to the counter. He must’ve told her a joke or something ‘cause she tips back her head to laugh loudly in response. Jealous tears sting your eyes accordingly. You take your art and your box of dull crayons and scurry off to the break room.

“I can help you check out!” Robin offers, suddenly very chipper. 

The redhead’s face twists. “Oh. I thought that—”

“Steve’s needed in the breakroom, actually,” Robin tells her when the stranger’s pleading eyes flit to the boy beside her. “I can handle it from here.”

“Wait— What’s in the breakroom?” he wonders obliviously.

“Your girlfriend, dingus.”

Steve blinks once. The sudden lack of your presence makes his chest ache. He stalks off to find you without another word.

The redhead, Mia or Maia or whatever, doesn’t bother to disguise the shock painting her dainty features. “Girlfriend?” she echoes, quiet with disbelief.

Robin nods and takes the tapes from her hands, knowing she’s only renting them ‘cause she thought Steve liked them. The scanner beeps as she rings them up. “Yeah. He’s kinda in love with her, turns out. It’s disgusting.”

The conversation fades the further Steve gets down the hall. He opens the door to the back room with a grating squeak. The rusted hinges screech again in protest when he swings it shut behind him. He finds you slouched over the table, vehemently scribbling with vibrantly colored crayons.

He can’t help but smile at the sight of you. “Whatcha doin’?” he lilts in place of a greeting, sliding back a chair to sit across from you.

“Nothin’…” you mutter distantly.

Steve folds his arms over the tabletop and rests his chin on top of them. It bobs with every word. “Why’d you leave me, huh?”

You shrug with a faint I don’t know type of sound.

“Can I see what you’re drawing, at least?” 

He grins and reaches for you without thinking — because you always let him see. Needless to say, when flinch suddenly away from him, it scares him far more than it should. You scramble to cover the paper with your arms like you’re doing something wrong. 

“No,” you answer in a mousy voice.

A chuckle spills from Steve’s mouth. “What? Why? You always show me.”

“It’s stupid…”

“It’s not stupid! I love when you draw stuff for me,” the boy insists with a lopsided smile, distantly surprised by your sheepishness. The pretty pink grin slips from his mouth at the crestfallen glint in your eye. He softens without thinking. “What’s wrong? What happened? Did— Did Robin say something?”

“No.” 

“Then what?”

You avert your eyes from his prying ones, feeling half-suffocated beneath his honeyed gaze. You start to color again with an absentminded hand, if only to have something else to look at. “You’re just…” you trail off, shifting uncomfortably in your chair. “You’re too pretty.”

He laughs before he means to. “What?”

“You’re pretty, and I don’t like that other people get to look at you,” you confess quietly, coloring in Steve’s hair with the ‘deep golden’ crayon. “It’s not fair— No one else should think you’re as beautiful as I do. I don’t like that.”

Steve props his chin on his palm and hides his grin behind his fingers. He reaches for your busy hand with his free one to get your attention. “Well, you know what?” he starts when your eyes flit up to his. “You’re the only one I want looking at me. So what everyone else thinks doesn’t really matter.”

“It is when they’re drooling all over you,” you answer with a scrunched nose.

Steve can’t help but scoff out a laugh. Those words have Robin Buckley written all over them. 

“Last I heard, Rob was giving that girl what for, so… you don’t have to worry about that anymore,” he tells you, both to soothe the misplaced jealousy and to make you smile. He thinks it only half works. “Can I tell you a secret?”

You perk up at that. Steve grins and leans in close like he’s about to confess something serious. His dark eyes twinkle with mischief. 

“I’m so stupid in love with you that I forget other girls exist sometimes,” he murmurs in true secret-spilling fashion. “And when they’re… drooling all over me? I don’t even see it. ‘Cause all I’m thinking about is how I have my own girl back home. And that I’d much rather have her drooling on me.”

“…Am I the girl?” you press in a tiny voice, just to be sure.

“Yes, baby, I’m talking about you,” Steve chuckles. “You should know that— You’rethe one drooling on my pillow every morning.”

Your nose scrunches sheepishly. “You’ve said that word too many times… It doesn’t sound real anymore.”

“What’s that called again?”

“Semantic satiation,” you answer without missing a beat.

“Well, now I’m gonna tell you I love you ’til you’re semantically satiated,” the boy teases with a knowing squint in his eyes. “‘Cause I love you.”

“Steve.”

“I love you.”

“Stop,” you say, sterner now, though your gaze still glimmers with something soft. Your eyes follow his form when he rises from the table, shifting the short distance to sit in the chair closest to you. “Steve, stop—”

“I love you,” he repeats, anyway, taking you into his arms and smacking a dramatic kiss to your warm cheek. Between each innocuous peck, he mumbles, “I love you— I love you— I love you—”

Steve doesn’t stop kissing you until he hears you giggling again. The pretty sound brightens the dull breakroom. And all he can think about is what a lucky schmuck he is. To get to kiss you and make you laugh forever.