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starwarsbian · 2 months

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feels better like this (high!spencer)

gif by @imagining-in-the-margins

NSFW 18+ minors DNI

put your age in your bio this is a fucking threat

your pretty boyfriend, spencer, tries smoking weed for the first time and it turns into whining and shaking hands

wc: 5.6k (whoops)

a/n: idc that some of this is cliche if you don't like it look away and it’s not proof read but i’m not sorry

cw: weed, intoxicated sex, p in v, oral (f! receiving), thigh fucking, unprotected sex, established relationship, praise

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . . ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . . ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . . ݁ ˖ ࣪ . . ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . . ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . . ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . . ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

laughing as you unlock the door to your shared apartment, spencer puts his hand on your lower back and follows you inside. you’re both dressed for hotch’s birthday party, which he really didn’t want.

you have on a light blue dress, made of shiny satin. it’s a midi dress, which isn’t really normal for you. you’re more of a pants kind of person, but spencer has been telling you how beautiful you look all night. he’s wearing tan slacks and a button-down that’s a similar color to what you have on.

with his hand still on the small of your back, spencer pulls you in for a kiss; it’s soft and slow. you both smile into it as you pull away, he smells like his cologne.

“i need to change, i’ll be right back,” you say and walk towards your shared bedroom. you decide on a star wars t-shirt of spencer’s and blue plaid pajama pants that are also his. spencer doesn’t mind at all when you wear his clothes.

going to the kitchen, you find spencer leaning against the counter with a glass of water. he smiles and raises his eyebrows when he sees what you have on.

“you look..really good in my clothes,” he replies.

he does the same thing you did, goes to change clothes. when he comes back he has a black t-shirt and red plaid pajama pants.

“you also look really good in your clothes, just so you know.” he laughs at your comment and follows you to your living room. “is it okay if i smoke, spence?”

“oh, yeah! for sure,” he says and kisses your head. your smoking stuff is casually sitting on the end table on the left side of your couch. your grinder is already full from earlier and you take the bowl off your bong to pack. spencer looks at you, his eyes soft and filled with admiration for you. you put the full bowl onto your bong that you cleaned earlier in the day. you've been smoking around spencer the whole time you've been together; you used to hide the frequency though, for fear he would think its too much and not like you anymore. spencer didn't care how often you smoked he just wants you to be who you want to be without regard to what other people think. he's never, not once, asked to participate in the action but you had assumed it was because he wasn't interested. I mean, the whole team has heard his whole "six minutes are taken off your life per cigarette" ramble. you wonder if he knows statistics like that about smoking weed.

you look towards him and try to decode his thoughts as he’s watching you. “do..do you want to try?” you ask.

“oh..i’ve never..,” he says shyly with blood rushing to his face with a tiny bit of embarrassment. he really feels like he should have already done this at 26.

“really? you spent so much time like, in college. long enough for three doctorates and you’ve never smoked weed?”

he shakes his head and looks at you. he's really hoping you're not going to make fun of him. its never been that he didn't want to or he thought badly of people who did smoke.

“yes, really. no one ever offered, honestly. which i understand, i mean i definitely didn’t look like i’d say yes. i also didn’t really ‘hangout’ with anyone who smoked. what about me says i was friends with the 'cool kids?'"

“i guess i never really thought about it. but i cleaned the bong earlier. so it’s not gross or anything, do you want to try it? with me? i’ll be nice, i promise. i assumed you’d already tried and didn’t like it.”

“yeah. i’ll try but i don’t really know what i’m doing.” he feels relief that you didn't say anything mean or do anything but ask a genuine question.

“you’ve seen me do this dozens of times at this point. but watch me again now and i’ll help you for your turn.”

he nods and watches as you light the lighter and tuck your hair behind your ear. you light the bowl and pull smoke into the chamber, you lift the bowl out to inhale. you smile at spencer during your exhale.

“do that again. you’re pretty..show me again.”

you do as he says but a little slower so he can see each step, very simple steps. he studies you closely and is identifying the mechanics of how it works, its obviously not complicated but he feels better knowing what should happen.

“here. your turn. do you want me to light it for you? that’s not an uncommon thing for someone’s first time.”

he smiles, again. “yeah..that’d be nice, i think.” you hand him the piece and he puts his pretty lips in the top just as you did and looks up at you with his gorgeous eyes. you light the bowl and watch as your boyfriend takes his first hit. you make sure to stop him quickly so he doesn’t take too much and choke. he exhales and looks at you with watery eyes.

“oh, god that burns,” he says and turns away from you to cough a few times. you hurry to get him his water and bring it to him. you don't laugh at him at all because you know the feeling of embarrassment of something laughing at you after the burning pain in your lungs.

“here, take a drink. i know it burns, im sorry. it is hot smoke though.” that makes him laugh, again, with the bong in your hands again you take your turn and look at him with a questioning look afterward as you offer it to him again, eyebrows rising in surprise when he nods and takes it from your hands.

“want me to light it for you again, baby?”

“yes, please.”

you repeat this process but this time he handles it much better and manages to exhale smoothly before calmly taking another drink of water. it soothes the burning in his throat but his eyes still water. “again?” you ask him. spencer nods and puts his mouth back in position to hit the bong again.

your pretty boyfriend takes a little baby hit before grinning and passing the bong to you. the bowl is cashed so you empty it and pause to ask spencer if he’d like to pack it. you think it’d be cute to watch him get kinda the whole experience. you’re not going to let him smoke more than 1 or 2 more hits. at least until he has a few moments to feel his reaction. you're honestly scared he's going to freak out and not enjoy himself at all but so far he just seems happy, giddy even.

“you wanna pack it, spence? it really isn’t my favorite thing to do. and obviously it’s easy, here, take this.”

his hands shake a little with what you assume must be nervousness about messing something up. “spencer, you’re not going to do anything wrong? go ahead, baby. just put the flower in there for me and put in place.”

he does it exactly what you say; he didn’t spill anything and looks at you for approval. you give him a big smile and observe him place the bowl back where it belongs.

it’s your turn and you feel spencer’s hand on your thigh as you inhale and exhale. you repeat while spencer looks at you, mesmerized. he looks at you like you put all of the stars in the sky and for him you might as well have. he's never felt so comfortable with someone before.

“your turn, again. try to light it yourself, yeah?”

“okay,” he says before accepting the lighter you’ve offered him. he does it all by himself, perfectly, of course. he does everything perfectly. you nod for him to do it again. he coughs after this one and to make him feel better you make yourself a little uncomfortable with your next hit so you cough too. by the time you’re done hacking, spencer is rubbing soothing circles on your thigh.

“i do believe, im high now,” he tells you and then asks, “are you done? i like watching you, even coughing. your eyes look beautiful right now, actually.”

you shake your head no and spencer turns his attention to the TV for a little while as you finish up. his hand is spread out on your thigh now, moving up and down. his touch makes your stomach do flips and crave more.

you put the bong down and turn to face him. “will you kiss me, spencer?” the unfamiliar feeling is fogging up his mind a little so he doesn’t hesitate for a second before pressing your lips together.

the kiss is needy and spencer feels like you’re touching him everywhere but he wants more anyway. you crawl onto his lap and sit down, pushing him back against the couch. your hands are in his hair as you tug just a little. spencer lets out a small moan into your kiss and leans his head back, allowing you access to his neck.

filled with delight you start to kiss below his jaw and move down his neck. usually spencer is worried about you leaving marks on his throat because of work. but when you switch to the other side and start sucking on his flesh to mark him as yours he doesn’t protest. he does the exact opposite of protest and groans as he grabs your hips. spencer doesn’t curse very often but right now he’s letting a quiet slur of stuttering “fuck”s out of his mouth even though he’s biting his lip to try not to. spencer can usually contain himself and insists he reacts "appropriately" to your touch. you move back to his lips and soon your tongue is moving slow against his. after a few moments he pulls away to catch his breath.

“being touched by you feels so good right now..i.. don’t even know what to do with myself,” he whispers in the crook of your neck.

you’re high too and feel the same way, his hands on your hips are sending radiating heat to your core and when he touches your thighs you get butterflies. this is how it usually starts but he's being much more touchy than normal; you have no complaints.

“you don’t have to do anything. let me make you feel good, spencer..”

he whimpers at the thought of it and eagerly nods. “what are you gonna do?”

“nothing here. let’s go to the bedroom, yeah?” you take his hand and he trails behind you to your bedroom.

“get on the bed, baby,” you instruct.

you remove his pajama pants from yourself and go to straddle him again. his hands find your thighs again and he grips them as you grind down against him.

he won’t stop releasing tiny little whimpers that are driving you crazy, he’s looking at you in a way that seems like begging. you’re still grinding on him and you feel him start to get hard against you.

“awe, there we go,” you tease “you like that, spence?” you speed up your movements a little and he gasps.

“answer me, spencer.”

“yes. yes i like it. don’t stop, you’re so fucking hot. i’m so obsessed with your thighs. you’re so soft and, fuck, it feels amazing.”

“my thighs? you like them?”

“mhm, so much. love to touch them”

you have an idea. “do you wanna touch them in a..different way?”

he’s still whining at the movements you’re making on top of him and he doesn’t ask you to explain just nods.

you move back a little and slip your hand under his waist band. he groans loudly as your fingers touch him for the first time tonight. “take your shirt off.”

he does as he’s told and bucks his hips up into your hand. you don’t give him anything more than you already are just trailing your fingers up and down his length, swiping your thumb across his tip. you get off of him and tug at his waistband, he gets the hint and removes his pants and boxers before he lays down and you crawl back onto him.

you settle down like you might start to ride him but instead you very softly settle spencer’s length between your soft thighs. he whines your name and thrusts himself between them further trying to get friction. you smile at him, in amusement.

“that’s exactly what i was talking about..you wanna fuck my thighs, spence?” you lean forward and ask in his ear.

“oh my god. please? please let me do that. how do i do that? you want it?” he’s flustered and babbling, lacking his usual conciseness. “yeah, i want it. why else would i offer? i wanna see you lose it over being between a part of me that isn’t inherently sexual, you know? like…if i liked your hands a lot. you’d let me use your hand to get off and i..im gonna let you fuck my thighs until you cum all over them.” spencer is looking at you with wide eyes. he didn’t expect you to say so many words but your answer has his length throbbing and his brain at a loss for words.

“how about i let you do it from behind? you can slide yourself right in between them, would you like that?”

spencer’s head is spinning and all he can think about is how much he wants to feel you like that. he’d never thought about it before but now? he’d do anything at the moment to press his cock between your plush legs and feel you in such a different, intimate, way—in a way no one else has had you. he nods again and looks at you with pleading eyes.

“spence, that’s not really an answer. how do you want me, baby? i wanna make you feel so good for your first time like this.”

he whines because he just wants to feel you but chokes out “please..from behind?”

“that’s what i was hoping you’d want,” you say with confidence.

spencer tugs off your shirt and watches as you settle on the bed. you keep pillows under your arms and keep your legs together. he runs his hands down your body and takes special care to tease the inside of your thighs. you moan as he drags his fingers through your warmth, using it to coat his cock and groaning something about how wet you are as he spreads it onto your thighs as well.

spencer eases himself between your thighs, cursing and snapping his hips forward. he slowly moves back and forth between them as his grip on your body tightens a little. all he can think about is how he’s so glad you had this idea because it feels like his body is burning with pleasure that pulses through him. he regrets never trying this with you before and would love to do it again. it feels better like this.

“why.. have you never gotten me high and had sex with me until now,” he whines into your ear as he leans down. he's panting and being far more vocal than usual, saying your name and holding your hips tight. he's desperately pulling you back against his movements as he uses your soft thighs to pleasure himself.

you move your hand down towards your thighs and spencer thinks you’re going to try to get some relief for yourself but instead you use it rub over his tip each time it protrudes from between your soft flesh. spencer’s hips stutter and you feel his hand shaking against your lower back. he's completely lost in the moment and with you; absolutely drowning in the way you make him feel. he's so worked up and can't catch his breath but wants to feel you closer. you’ve never seen or felt him act like this during sex. the shaking and whining is honestly a huge compliment and makes you feel accomplished and happy that you could do this for him.

“i’m so close. i’m so so close. fuck. can i cum on them? let me finish on your pretty thighs. let me claim them like that.”

the last phrase sends shiver through your body and you waste no time before telling him “yes, please do. that’s what i’m here for tonight, spence.” even though he hasn't even touched you where you want him you're bordering on dripping wet for him and he can see the glistening in the bedroom light.

he moans your name and within seconds he’s spurting pretty white ropes on your ass and thighs. he’s fucking up into his hand and it’s a gorgeous sight to see looking over your shoulder. he's whimpering by the time he finishes and you turn around to do a quick swipe of your tongue from bottom to top; this makes him pull away in overstimulation but gently run his fingers through your hair.

he lays down on the bed, trying to catch his breath. his face is flushed and his hair is disheveled. when he can breath again he turns off to kiss you, it’s soft and hesitant just because he doesn’t know if you want something from him. he wants to give you something and he runs his hands down your sides again.

“isn’t it your turn?” spencer says as he starts to kiss your neck and chest, his hand moves down to touch just outside of where you need him. he's marking you as his in another way now; sucking on your collarbone and basically purring in your ear in anticipation.

“yeah, i guess it is. what did you want to do?”

“i want you on my tongue. i want to taste you, i can’t even imagine what that would be like right now. will you let me?”

you press your thighs together at the thought, trying to feel anything at the moment because you want him so badly. you love when he's articulate with his words and sure of himself when he asks consent.

you nod and he moves his kisses to your chest and pauses to play with your left nipple with his right hand and put the other one in his mouth. he sucks and soothes the skin with his tongue, little touches of his teeth have you whining for him. he finds your impatience very attractive. he wants you to need him.

he kisses even lower, stopping at the top of your thighs to admire them and spreading them further apart to make room for him. he uses his thumb to lightly expose more of you to himself. wetness coats his thumb as he teases up and down from your clit to your entrance.

“so, so pretty,” he says under his breath. you look down at him just in time to see him suck his thumb clean and make eye contact with him. “mmm,” he hums in approval, “taste so good, pretty girl."

you blush and watch as he licks a wide strip from bottom to top of your sex. the feeling sends shivers down your spine. spencer prods deeper into your heat and meets your clit. he does soft, almost massaging, movements with his tongue. he gently envelops your bundle of nerves with his mouth and confidently slides his tongue against every place he can.

your thighs start to close around him but he holds them back open, lapping up your wetness like it’s his only job in the world to make you orgasm. he’s thorough and presses one finger to your entrance, he looks up at you for approval and smiles when you buck your hips, nod and whine all at once. he’s never said it before but he loves when you fall apart for him, he daydreams about it at work. it’s what he thinks about in hotel rooms at night when he’s alone. right now his mind is filled with nothing but you, your hands in his hair and the warmth of your body around him. he’s obsessed with learning your body and always has been but right now? his body is filled with the need to make you cum.

he presses his finger up inside you and finds the spot he knows makes your legs shake and your breath hitch in your throat. he moves slowly inside you, really taking his time to gauge your reactions. you’d think spencer would get more sloppy or impatient or maybe even lazy as he’s high but none of that happened. if anything it increased his patience in his acts. he looks up at you with glossy eyes and smiles against you when you blush at his gaze.

he moves his tongue down your folds and carefully licks around his fingers that are stretching you open and prodding against your walls with delicious fervor. he finds his way back to your clit and closes his eyes to focus on sucking and licking at your bud in his mouth trying to push you closer to the edge. it’s working and within the minute you’re moaning his name and cursing under your breath — all he can focus on is you you you how he needs you. your taste, your sounds and warm skin flood his senses.

he feels you tighten around his fingers and hears the whimper you let out right before you’re feeling white hot pleasure course through you from your center. you’re throbbing by the end and spencer still isn’t stopping. you whine and half heartedly try to push his head away.

“too much, spence. ‘m too sensitive,” you say.

he stops just long enough to look into your eyes and say “i don’t care. i’m enjoying myself and i know you like it when i make you feel so good you cry.”

your orgasm made even more slick gather and coat his hand. he keeps his assault of your most sensitive places steady while you start to lose yourself in his touch. his hands splayed across your thighs with his finger tips holding you tightly in place have you dizzy with want.

your second climax is quickly approaching and you pray that spencer doesn't take it away from you. he's not one for orgasm denial, he certaintly prefers overstimulation. it washes over you and you're babbling his name; unable to form other words. your hips are trying to buck up against his face but he holds you steady and lets you ride out your pleasure on his tongue. you're not crying though, so he isn't done with you.

"i want you, spencer. please use me to get off. i'll let you do whatever you want. you're always so good to me, let it be your turn again. what will make you feel best?"

he's amused that you're worried about him in this situation as if your pleasure doesn't have his head spinning and his heart racing. it took everything in him not to grind against the bed when he was eating you out. he felt that would be selfish though and knew you'd want to help him. you're still trying to catch your breath and he's still rubbing all over your thighs. he continues to trail over the top and underneath and on all parts of your bikini line. he's such a goddamn tease but doesn't answer your question he just looks at you, waiting for you to say something else.

"do you want to smoke more, spence?"

he tries to hide his surprise and excitement but ultimately fails. he handled the first round really well and you decide he can likely handle more this time around.

"do you want to smoke more? its your stuff, baby. you dont have to share."

"quit being silly. everything else that's mine is yours…my body is yours and you're worred about a bowl or two to make you want me even more?"

he nods in agreement and blushes. he takes it upon himself to leave the bedroom and bring your things back in from the living room. you're both still naked and it feels more intimate like this, spencer never lets you feel self conscious and you do the same for him. neither of you are embarassed or worried about it in this moment. he gives you a soft kiss before he smiles and says,

"i've brought you a gift." he gives you the bong, its pink by the way and the bowl is heart shaped.

he already knows what to do this time and is far less nervous. you take the piece from him and get to work filling the bowl with ground flower from your grinder, that is also pink and has a heart on top. he waits patiently and just spends time memorizing your features.

your hair is messed up and so is his but he really believes you look beautiful; he thinks you're perfect and can't wait to get his hands on you again and feel you writhe underneath him. he shakes his head trying to focus on something other than the dirty thoughts hes having about you like the way you'll beg for his cock, how your legs shake when he's done with you and the marks that'll be left tomorrow.

you let spencer smoke as much as he thinks he can handle in comparison to last time; he still coughs and needs his water everytime but you're kind of impressed by his perseverance. he keeps up with you mostly, until your last few inhales when he watches you with low red eyes. he feels almost dizzy but in a good way and wants to be in you really really badly, he cant think of another way to describe it and thats how he knows he's right where he needs to be for what happens next.

again, he teases and touches your inner thighs and trails the crease between them; obviously trying to have some effect on you and it works. he knows just how to touch you to make you want all of him. as you finish up his touching becomes more insistent and maybe more suggestive as he slowly moves closer and closer to where you need him.

"you all done, pretty girl? gonna let me touch you again?"

you nod eagerly and pull him on top of you as you lean back on the pillows on the bed before meeting his lips with yours. the kissing gets intense fast, with his hands touching you a little less softly as he's filled with need. you're rutting up against the thigh he has resting between yours and nip at his bottom lip gently as he pulls away to look into your eyes. "i want you in me, spencer. i've been waiting all night. waiting since you started looking at me hungrily at that party. i know you were thinking about me like this instead of fully clothed sitting on your lap in front of all of your friends."

he groans at your words and gives in to you, no longer teasing after the way you're talking to him. he's still on top of you as he trails his fingers down your throat then stomach and finally resting with a thumb on your bundle of nerves. he presses light circles and slowly slides two fingers in that you take with ease. he decides that you're wet enough and you've never minded a little discomfort at first anyway. you beg him to move even if it hurts a little.

spencer lines up with your entrance and very, very slowly enters you as he throws his head back in pleasure and grabs your hip hard enough it might leave bruises tomorrow. he can hardly stop himself from taking you roughly right there like his fucked up brain wants him to. insead, he holds back and begins moving in and out at a slow, steady pace. his movements spread your wetness over him and soon he's bottomed out. hes so deep you swear you can feel it in your stomach as he presses against your walls. he feels you clenching down on him and he swears under his breath.

'fuck. fuck, you're so tight. god, and warm. feels so good."

he's still moving slowly in you and you're starting to feel impatient. but rushing spencer isn't something that really happens; he loves to take his time with you like this until you're begging for his cock to move faster inside you. he sees your glossy eyes begging for him without saying a single word.

"awe, does my baby want more? say please."

"please. please fuck me. i've been so good and have done everything you've said."

he hums in agreement and says nothing as he speeds up and changes the angle of his thrusts slightly as he fucks into you. you keep tightening around him and its driving him crazy, he can't get enough of you. his hands are shaking again as he holds himself up with one and massages your breast with the other. his hands splay wide across your skin and his hair hangs down in his face just a little while he moves inside you.

his pace is still steady and his hips only falter when he hits something in you that makes you tighten around him and arch your back into his touch. soon his length is touching perfectly against that sweet spot in you that makes your head spin and your hands desperately grab for the sheets or spencer in general.

he switches to something much faster and quickly your nails are scratching long lines across his back, hard enough his back will sting tomorrow and he might wince at the feeling of his shirt rubbing against the wounds you've left him with; he'll like it though and grin to himself as he thinks about the way he had you the night before.

with your nails dragging down his flesh in needy bliss, spencer can't even think to talk you through it like he normally would. he's hardly ever at a loss for words but he's high and doesn't know how to cope with all the sensations he's feeling. what he knows should feel like pain against his skin, your scratches, feels like pleasure that spreads through his entire body; with his existence aflame from your touch.

he's lost all sense of the words "soft" and "rough" and is focused on pushing you over the edge again. he's getting close again but is trying to hold back until he pulls another orgasm from your overwhelmed body. the sound of skin hitting skin is filling the room as well as your pleas and unending moans of your lover's name. his hand intertwines with yours as he wrecks you just like you wanted. you wanted spencer to be a little reckless, a little thoughtless in the process of tonight's sex.

thinking about the way he whined and whimpered between your thighs earlier is pushing you closer and closer as a knot in your stomach tightens. spencer's fingers find your clit and rub quick small circles in the way he knows you like. he's pulling you apart at the seams and doing everything he can to coax your orgasm from you before he finishes himself. since you've gotten together he's learned how to get you to let go completely and surrender yourself to how he makes you feel.

his breathing is heavy and he knows a few words will be enough to make you unravel under him. "come on, angel. I can feel you're close, let go for me. come on, let go. you're such a good girl, do what I tell you and cum around my cock. let me feel you."

his voice is low and gravelly in your ear as he practically begs you to finish so he can too. "you want me to cum in you? want me to fill you up? i wont until you finish under me."

you desperately want to feel him pulsing and filling you so you focus and close your eyes underneath him. normally, he would tell you to open them and look at him when he's dragging you off the edge towards more white hot bliss. warmth spreads through your body, all the way to your fingertips as you start to lost contact with the real world. your climax washes over you in waves that match the pulsing spencer feels from you.

your orgasm is enough to send him reeling over his own ledge as his thrusts start to turn irratic and lose uniformity. he moans into the kiss you pull him down into and he stops moving completely to pump his cum into you. towards the end he moves his hips slowly against yours, grinding into you and fucking his seed further into you. you hum in approval until he pulls out which leaves you feeling empty and forces a whine and frown out of you.

"baby, don't pout right now. I'll give you more later, or tomorrow, or both if you want. we need to do that more. you looked so beautiful, do you know that? absolutely perfect losing touch with reality under me." he falls onto the bed beside you and opens his arms for you to rest against his chest. he's moderately sticky with sweat but you don't care, just loving the physical contact spencer allows you to have at this moment. you start to drift off into sleep to the soothing sound of your boyfriend's heartbeat. he softly rouses you away and reminds you that you need to pee after sex, "to prevent a UTI, of course." you groan but pull yourself off of him as you tread to the bathroom, spencer's cum threatening to leak out of you and run down your thighs.

spencer enters the bathroom a few minutes to ask if you'd like to shower with him. "i wasn't super gentle with you this time, let me take care of you and clean you up."

who are you to deny him caring for you like he wants to? it feels better to give him what he wants.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #criminal minds smut #high!spencer #mgg x reader #tw weed #cam writes ᡣ𐭩

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heartlilith · 2 months

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Moon Sign/2nd House - Use Your Abilities to Your Benefit

Aries Moon/2nd House: Having an Aries Moon or the sign Aries in your 2nd house of self worth, values, and financial income can help immensely with increasing your confidence. The gift of these natives is being assertive and bold, unapologetically. Say how you feel even if your voice shakes. Being assertive doesn't mean being rude or offensive - it means knowing what you want and simply asking for it. Or, it can mean setting boundaries with people who have no problem crossing them. Naturally with Aries Moon and 2nd house, there are going to be people that are threatened by your ambitious and forward presence, that's their problem. No matter who you are, with or without these placements, there are going to be people who want to bring you down - that's life. My Aries placement babies, this is the first sign of the zodiac, #1. Act like it. Be you, unapologetically*** that's the key word. UNAPOLOGETICALLY. Experiment with your looks, try a style that aligns with not who you are, but who you want TO BE. Forward thinking. Stay true to yourself and listen to what your heart is asking you to do. Maybe your heart says, "You know, I've had the same hairstyle for months, I need a change", change it. Or, "I really want to make more money because....", find another source of income or ask your boss what you can do to make that money. Ask yourself, what would make you happier? And do it.

Taurus Moon/2nd House: My Venusians, the blessed babies of the zodiac. Being in Taurus, you're all about the glamour, the finer things, the abundance. Even if you aren't "glamorous" or "rich", act that way. Because I'm telling you these Venusian placements can and will fool anybody into thinking that they are when they are not. You may not be rich but you can certainly look it. You may not feel confident but you can definitely act like it. Taurus Moons and 2nd house people, know what you bring to the table, because a fixed Earth sign ruled by Venus brings a lot. With this placement, increasing your self confidence can be done by investing in yourself through material, education, self-confidence podcasts, etc. Feed yourself confidence. Dress up to attract things to you and above all else KNOW YOUR WORTH. And when someone questions it, don't argue and "prove", simply let your actions prove them otherwise. When someone asks, "What do you bring to the table?", say "What do I look like? A waitress?", unshakable confidence is the name of that game here. When something gets you down, no matter what it is, remind yourself, "Yeah, my partner may have broken up with me but I'm loyal, loving, and someone worth fighting for", even if you don't believe it, feed yourself confidence. You want to be successful? Dress the part, act the part. You want to be more beautiful and sought after? Adorn yourself with jewelry, buy yourself a new outfit, do what makes you feel good. That's the number one thing with these Taurus placements, do what makes you feel good about yourself and feed yourself confidence.

Gemini Moon/2nd House: Increasing your self confidence with these Gemini placements screams education and self reliance to me. That doesn't mean go back to college or put yourself through Med school, although it can. What I mean is; read books on self confidence, master the art of seduction, master the laws of attraction, suggestion, etc. Knowledge is your power. Read about techniques/exercises to become confident and self reliant. Then, actually implement it into your everyday life. That is the first thing, whether you're learning through books, podcasts, YouTube videos, etc. It could even be watching a YouTube video on how to achieve a new makeup look. It could be reading a book on self-love. It could be studying color theory to see what colors look best with your skin tone. LEARN. Another thing with Gemini Moon and 2nd house is being a naturally good communicator and using that to build confidence. Let's say you read the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene, for example. Law #13: "When asking for help, appeal to people's self-interests, never to their mercy or gratitude." After reading that chapter, it's going to be easier for Gemini placements to actually implement it because they're skilled at communicating anyways. It's just learning how to communicate in a way that not only feeds your self-confidence but gets others to view you as confident as well.

Cancer Moon/2nd House: My lovely Cancer placements. Increasing your self confidence can look a lot like gaining control over your emotions, becoming emotionally intelligent. I believe that Cancer Moons/2nd house natives are naturally emotionally intelligent; being able to read your own emotions and the emotions of others. When you have control over your emotions, it's hard for other people to manipulate you. Let me say that again, when you have control over your own emotions, it's hard for other people to manipulate you. Reread it. See, your gift is being able to read others and also yourself. But it's just as important to recognize an emotion and then decide to either act on it or let it pass. For example, if someone says a sly comment to you or maybe they're straight up rude to you... you can be angry, actually anyone would be angry, hurt, or defensive. That's okay. It's not okay to start screaming, yelling, kicking because by doing that, you just gave them your power. Now they're laughing because they got a rise out of you. Instead, stay calm and laugh at them, seriously. Reverse psychology. Creating self confidence for Cancer Moon and 2nd house is knowing who you are, what you bring to the table, and becoming unshakable when people try to tear you down. Why would you listen to someone's insults when you wouldn't trade places for their hellhole life? You wouldn't. Reverse psychology is using your gift of emotional intelligence to your advantage. In relationships, Cancer Moons/2nd house have a reputation for being nurturing and being a caterer to their partner. This is not a bad thing, but it might be if you're doing it too soon and for someone that doesn't deserve it. Reverse psychology in this situation would be knowing you have strong feelings for a certain someone and acting like you don't. Therefore, attracting them to you even more. It's having your own back, being there and looking out for YOURSELF first and foremost.

Leo Moon/2nd House: My little rays of sunshine. Confidence is your strong suit, don't let it be your downfall. I'll be straight up with you, stop talking so much. I mean that in the most sincere way, there is power in shutting the f*** up. Boasting about accomplishments, looking in every reflective surface, letting everyone know your next move, etc. You, more or less, have the self confidence part down. If you don't then at least people don't know that you're insecure, okay? But they do when you try to make up for it by constantly talking about yourself and/or bragging about yourself in some way. You have the ability to hide your insecurities and put your best face on. Master the art of silence. Don't show all your cards to people, don't tell everyone about your accomplishments, don't boast and brag because people will pray on your downfall and people will try to tear you down. Instead, let your accomplishments, beauty, money, whatever, speak for itself. Walk into a room with your head held high, dress like you're successful, etc. Let your confidence speak for itself, and when it comes to talking about it, you won't have to. There is nothing wrong with going home to your family or loved ones and talking about your achievements or telling them your future plans. You just need to know your audience, that is KEY.

Virgo Moon/2nd House: I love you guys. I just want to say that I know you may struggle sometimes with being critical on yourself, I know that first hand. Being intelligent and (secretly) critical of others is your superpower. Like Gemini, your ability to learn and implement what is taught is going to help you tremendously. Art of Seduction, 48 Laws of Power, the law of suggestion, reverse psychology, etc. Learn these and practice them daily. Use your superpower to see how others behave. For example, in the workplace. You may have a coworker that is always talking, yapping, boasting, talking about others, spreading rumors. Watch that behavior and see how your environment, work place in this example, responds to them. Look at your boss or someone you admire in your workplace, how do they act and how does the environment respond to them? Use your analytical and critical superpower to dissect what behaviors are rewarded in the workplace or what behaviors are punished. Mirror the qualities that are rewarded. In love, you are selfless and have a tendency to put others before yourself. This is okay, it's actually a very admirable quality. But, people will take advantage of that. You need to put it in your head that the people who fight for you will be rewarded with your care, your selflessness. You aren't giving it out for free. In love, show others how you expect to be treated by treating yourself like a queen/king. When others treat you in a way that lets you know they value you, then reward them with being you - selfless, of service, reliable. See Virgo, these traits of yours, they can't be given out for free because they cost YOU a lot.

Libra Moon/2nd House: Venusian baby. Your superpower is your ability to get along with everyone and being polite/kind. People love you. You're easy to get along with. Use your charm to your benefit. If you're going on a date, dress up in a way that aligns with who you are, and then some. Wear something that is beautiful, classy, and a little suggestive too. I'm not saying that you have to dress like a hooker, although if you want to, go for it. I'm saying little things; instead of wearing a pastel colored dress or shirt, wear red or black. Instead of wearing your hair up in a bun, wear it down. Little things. Out in public, instead of wearing sweatpants to the store, dress up like you have somewhere to be after, even if you don't. What I'm trying to get at is your ability to be charming and well liked is solid, it's there, its achieved. You can also dress in a way or give off body language to support that superpower but to also give you more confidence therefore strengthening that superpower. At work, say you work in an office, instead of wearing what you normally wear, switch it up to get what you want. If you are a secretary but want to be a CEO, dress like a CEO. If you're single and want to find someone, dress the part. If you're a nurse and can't really "dress the part" because you have to wear a certain thing, switch up your make up look OR wait until the weekend. Look up color theory and how the color of your nails, outfit, makeup, etc. make others feel. Wearing red is seducing, wearing black is powerful and thinning. Wearing pink is more feminine. Wearing high heels vs sneakers. Dressing yourself up is a form of self expression. Again, you have the charm part down it's just embodying what you want to be in the future. Embody it now.

Scorpio Moon/2nd House: My Scorpio loves. This one is going to be harder because you already mastered being mysterious, seductive, and powerful. Those are your natural superpowers. I think for you mastering the art of detachment would really work in your benefit especially given that you're already fit to rule the world. Kind of like Cancer, you are emotionally intelligent and can read right through people. It's when you're obsessed with someone or something that you lose sight and become out of wack. Let's say you really want this promotion at work. You want your boss to recognize you and reward you, you want it SO bad and you know you deserve it too. You hold onto it so tight and somehow the promotion is rewarded to someone else. Now, you're bitter as hell. Therefore, you've lost your power. Detach. Don't chase, attract. Always have a plan B and always know that if you didn't get what you want it's because something better is on the way. Let me say that again, if you don't get what you want, it means something better is on the way. You have a crush, went out on a few dates, you're now catching feelings; completely normal. But until you're actually in a relationship with said person, until you're exclusive have a plan B. Even in a relationship you need to ask yourself, "Okay, well, what if it doesn't work out? What then?". Detach from the desired outcome.

Sagittarius Moon/2nd House: My little wanderers, your superpower is your popularity and your easygoing nature. It's being blunt and honest. Like Leo, you have the confidence and you know what you bring to the table and even if you don't you have the ability to fool people that you do. Learn to shut your mouth. Let your achievements, your beauty, your success, your money, talk for itself. You don't need to tell everyone your plans and your business because people WILL sabotage you. They will pray on your downfall. You don't need to boast and brag. And let me just say that it's fine to be confident, it's actually a great thing. Walk into the room with your head high, speak with confidence, but the less you talk about yourself the more people will want to know. Keep them guessing, work in private. Then when your boss grants you that promotion, people will know you're powerful and successful without you saying a word. Anything you say, can and WILL be used against you, babes. You know who you are, let others know through actions.

Capricorn Moon/2nd House: Now Capricorn, you scream success. You're like a secret weapon. If you read Leo and Sag, I'm basically telling them to embody you. Your secret power is your ambition and your need for success. Focus on your dreams, whatever that may be. Take all your energy and devote it to whatever you want it to be, whatever will grant you that success and watch how your life comes together while you're busy focusing on that. Watch how people treat you while you're putting all your energy into something that will give you financial freedom. They're going to flock to you. See Capricorn placements, you have the ability to get what you want because you work hard. That is your superpower. Hard work doesn't scare you, putting in the hours is your second nature. Do that. Do only that. Well, not only that, but invest completely in yourself. Take care of yourself and build that career. Master that skill. Get that degree. Open that business, whatever your dream is. Your life will come together in the process. If it doesn't, know that achieving your dream or at least being close to achieving it is going to give you the self confidence to then attract what you want in love and in life. Complete your goals, work on yourself, build that career. Focus completely on yourself and others will start to focus on you too.

Aquarius Moon/2nd House: Your superpower is the art of detachment. It's easy for you to not get obsessed with someone or something. Like Capricorn, you need to invest completely in yourself and focus completely on what you want to achieve. Forget the rest. Focus on you, your family, your skills, hobbies, career, mental and physical health. Better yourself. Everyday complete one of your goals. Detach from desired outcomes in all other areas of life. Watch how your life comes together when this happens, you'll have opportunities coming at you in all different directions because investing in yourself makes others want to invest in you as well. Plus being Aquarius, mastering different skills is going to open up different doors. You may have a job now and decide to work on your cooking skills just because you want to be better at it. Now, you might fall in love with cooking and start a new job. Or, maybe you've always wanted to learn how to play an instrument, do that. Become a jack of all trades so you never have to be stuck doing one thing. It's attractive to have invest in yourself and to have many different skills. Attractive in the sense that you'll attract different people, places, things, and opportunities.

Pisces Moon/2nd House: My mermaids and mermans, hahaha. Before I get into how to use your abilities to your benefit, I want to mention that your superpower is being divinely protected by the Universe, by the spiritual realm. The universe has your back. Now Pisces, you have a tendency to lead with emotion. You have depth and are emotionally intelligent but that can be your downfall. It's a downfall because people know this about you and when people know this, they know how to manipulate you. Like those sad commercials where they sing "Silent Night" and show these starving and abused animals, then at the end of the commercial, they're asking for money. The people that donate to them are Pisces! No, hahaha I'm kidding, kind of. But you get what I mean. Like Cancer, you need to read the Art of Seduction, the laws baby, the laws. You're emotionally intelligent and you can use this to get what you want out of people and also to protect yourself. Stay one step ahead. I'm not saying to manipulate others, unless you want to, I'm saying to learn when others are manipulating you.

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#moon sign #2nd house #astrology #astro observations #astro community #rising signs #astro #sagittarius #astrology community #cancer #leo #scorpio

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vivisviolets · 3 months

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what do you need to hear right now ೀ⤷ except i have a headache

↪its been 3 fuking days i swear to goddddd 444

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˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖-pick an image that you feel drawn to- if nothing stands out quickly then close your eyes- breathe- and ask spirit/the universe/god or your intuition/higher self to show you what a pile's content would best suit you, don't be shy!! read through more than one if that's what you are called to do!! i love youuuuu-˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

⋆｡˚ *pile 1 ⚬

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⚬. Five of Swords (reversed), Nine of Swords (reversed), Six of Swords, Three of Wands, Judgement, Ace of Pentacles ⚬.

⚬. ☄️Number 5, 555, initials/letters H-M-A, sun ruled/dominant, Aries/Sag/Leo/Aquarius Placements, dark coloring or light coloring, face/body freckles, pale or sunkissed, thick hair, loud/blunt tone of talking, action-oriented ☄️⚬.

⚬. As I shuffled I picked up fire energy, I'm feeling you guys might come across a little intense personality-wise, like blunt or hardheaded in your opinions- you guys make other people feel like the shy or softer friend in comparison to you- I just got interrupted- I think you might have dealt with people in the past who stepped into your energy in an attempt to influence you or give you the impression they care but actually have the intentions to "change" you- I'm seeing someone smiling at you gently with this mask of innocence so you lower your guard down and give them control over you... This might have happened recently- and that's just it. They want to control by feeling that they are molding you into something they find more correct or tolerable. I don't mean to make you paranoid or even more un-trusting of others than you already are, but more to listen to and address inwardly why someone triggers you like that. I'm also hearing that in the past you might have felt you scared off some past friends or connections because they made some pretty lame excuses to avoid you- I'm just getting that you have a very masculine energy, very strong and coming straight from the chest. You guys have solid walls of inner self-concept and that can make people feel very small or meek compared to you, or trigger them to try and control or fix you, thinking you need some healing- when really it's them being triggered because of the self-healing they need to do on themselves... you guys might have mother issues (just finished watching Black Swan it's very much that suffocating toxicity coming from underdeveloped feminine energy) or have butted heads with female family members in your life (if not mothers especially aunts, maybe stepmother? Or grandmothers- female adults in your life)- and you guys are definitely not perfect in the way you handle certain things, regarding releasing control over certain situations peacefully. you guys can be impossibly stubborn, but that's because you stick to it with your whole chest, you just know- and so you bulldoze right ahead- I'm hearing a quote from Fiona Apple's '97 VMA speech, you "go with yourself". Other people's opinions be damned if you see something as your truth you follow it. From that, I'm hearing very Aquarius energy with how much you've mentally formed your own path (air energy with all the Sword cards), but again lots of fire energy I'm feeling. So you could have Aries placements with how youthfully blunt and truthful you naturally are- Sagittarius with how much natural luck and abundance you feel with opportunities being yours- but I'm getting very much lion energy, so Leo- "Lion-heart" "King of the Pride"- is really what your inner energy embodies! I heard some of you are more introverted or might not relate to this description fully because you may not think your external actions reflect that- but I NEED you to know what this is your inner emotional strength and land that you can, and should- tap into!! ☄️☄️☄️ because it's freaking natural babyyy ⚬.

⚬. You really need to chill with how un-trusting you are with other people's opinions. And I know that is so hard to hear because of the very valid reasons (◉ bitches) you've been dealt in life to have those trust issues- but I don't mean collapsing all your walls and becoming whatever anyone is saying, no. This is about you truly standing in all that inner power you have by allowing it to influence how to interact with others- there's knowledge to be gained everywhere, especially when you come from a place of such a strong self-concept. I'm really seeing you guys need to be allowing and being open to support- and I keep getting interrupted so I think you're really on guard with someone or the people you have around you. Again, look inwardly at that trigger and address it so you can take away what is valid in that trigger and also what is your own emotional walls- once you address it, you detach.~ and it's beautiful.~ but anyway, again-again I am also picking up that your suspensions are correct with whoever you feel is fake. So focus and be around people who you actually want to be around- I'm hearing a lot of you hang by yourself out of not finding anyone who interests you... Please do something different than what you normally do- you can find people who don't wish to change you or shrink next to you. You can and will find people who you can exchange knowledge and information with- with SUCH mutual respect like wow- you'll feel so fulfilled in a way you haven't even allowed yourself to think or consider-...might even be co-workers or just people you might have looked over (not trying to paint you as feeling above others or anything like that- you just have big high achiever energy). -Find and share with people who trigger you to become stronger, not weaker,- etc I'm really hearing that you guys being so in tune with your fire energy is really getting you to the places you want to be, it's really aligning yourself to those goals and your motives are really giving your actions a step up- but also you need to give energy to those ideas by sharing them- with the right, positive people (even neutral ppl would be rlly good) Because the support that you'll receive will not only be an energy boost to your goals, but also it will do some powerful work for you inwardly and align you to be more open to so many blessings and even more opportunities.-- I know you guys don't care hearing it because you don't need to, nor want to ask for it- but you are deserving as everyone is of hearing it- I love you ♡ and everything is turning out in your favor just by you continuing to follow your heart ❤️‍🔥. continue to open it up and remember to look and enjoy the next sunset you see!! ⚬.

⚬. "I am not afraid to finally say shit with my chest" - "I paid all my respect to those who taught me how to make it And now I reap the benefits with no confrontation" ⚬.

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⚬. The Hanged Man, Queen Of Swords, Strength, Three of Swords, Eight Of Wands, Six Of Pentancles ⚬.

⚬. 🐚 Number 3, 333, 3333, 1313, 303, 313, bubbles, Powerpuff Girls, girl/boy/kid next door, approachable/young/soft appearance, temu, Pisces/Cancer/Scorpio/Taurus/Leo placements, Neptune ruled/dominant 🐚 ⚬.

⚬. Bubbles!!!! I'm hearing bubbles- so you know, bubble baths/bubblegum/soap bubbles- oh, and of course you might have gone through a Powerpuff Girls phase and you chose Bubbles as the one most like you!! Obviously- right off the bat, you guys are adorable- you're seen as very adorable at least, you might have a very young face or you just give off very playful energy... So I'm mostly getting what other people see you as, so you definitely have a set image in people's minds-... I'm hearing though you might not like to hear that? A lot of this perception of you is largely online and in online groups, so you have curated a certain personality + an aesthetic for online and in said online groups (hearing for a lot of you it's Discord, but I'm also hearing Instagram group chats + Instagram engagement)... Maybe you've been regretting portraying that online persona? in those online spaces specifically- I will say this pac is all ages but I'm hearing that a lot of you might feel like you made some "bad choices" in how you portrayed yourself or who you interacted with that made you come across naive, and that can be a lot of things like- having weak emotional boundaries and being too emotionally open to people (like being the one who people trauma dumped to), getting wrapped up in some shady trading or in group business, or ignoring red flags of certain people in the effort to be the kind and sweet one of the group (you might of had a problem with a lot of creeps in your energy.. and dms ugh ew ◉ ◉ ◉)- I don't care what your age is, don't be hard on yourself!!! For this reading, you are literally my baby and I will not be harsh to you, idgaf if you came for harsh advice. I will only be saying things to guide you forward. because literally, I don't see you doing anything genuinely wrong. I think this situation you got in made you feel like you were some stupid baby duckling- it made you feel like your inner strength was weak and worthless- and you're putting a lot of self-blame on yourself- and that's just what that is, self-blame for how other people chose to engage with you.- I'll just tell you, you are so precious- no matter the reason you engaged in what you engaged in, you came in with pure intentions and creative eyes!! you felt like testing your waters regarding your own self-expression and wanted to give to others along with that ♡ and that's wonderful and ok to have wanted!! You guys are highly creative btw, and very interested in how you can express yourself- the first cards I drew were associated with water, so you may have prominent water placements of Pisces/Cancer/Scorpio- any of those are very you. You might have been deemed as the "cutesy artist" by others,- you might do something creative like drawing (I'm seeing some supaa cute digital art), cosplay or make up, maybe even music?- Very dreamy~ and also very giving of yourself emotionally- that's not a harmful thing my darling☆!! it's not "weak-minded" or deserving of being taken advantage of- nonono STOP THATTTT-... you really had something happen that threw you into a tailspin. You might be the overthinking type- you're taking everything to be a defining moment of your emotional intellect, or your very worth as a person... noo baby stop that- I literally need you to brew a cup of tea or a little treat, -I'm getting straight up teary-eyed with a lump in my throat rn- take a few deep breaths, drink a little cup of water, watch some youtube or anime- and just let yourself shed some tears if you want to.. freaking obviously feel however you want to feel because that's healthy to do but please stop placing all the blame on yourself like that's the full picture of what happened. ⚬.

⚬. ok so- you're gonna freaking reinvent yourself. Because I know you want to, but- 👏 you 👏 will 👏 not 👏 do 👏 it 👏 out 👏 of 👏 self👏 shame 👏.......👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 - nah booboo, because there was nothing wrong with you to begin with, inwardly you are SO pure-hearted to yourself and those around you- AND THERE IS NOTHING that should be deemed wrong about that, holy shit. let me chill- this reading is peace and love🕊 only ofc... That's exactly it btw- you will be reinventing yourself out of peace and love- for yourself. out of peace and love for the version of yourself who felt vulnerable- taking what has made you feel vulnerable, and turning it into strength. And I'll just say, the actions that you'll be taking will be very much inward- and so you may see your "glow up"/transformation as too slow, but honey- that is exactly how what's needed in becoming SO secure in yourself. You might even go dark in a lot of your online spaces- if you haven't already which btw, process and remove any shame connected to having left certain spaces. how things fell apart was how it was meant to happen and has now gotten you to this point- which is amazing and awesome because you're gonna transform to be completely badass ★!!!! And I know you're thinking and worrying about how you won't be around to give to others to which i say- kiss your sensitive heart for being so precious~♡ because this is about you now. and everyone is going to feel that, no more placing your self worth on how happy you make others- its time for you to actually take enjoyment in yourself!!! and you are going to be looking so good- your inward growth is going to reflect your outward appearance, if you want to start switching up your style now's the time to go for it!!!!- but again, big focus on your inner self-love and growing your self-worth- and if you do choose to share your journey, make it in a smaller circle of people you can trust!! definitely send those new style pics to the inner circle if you feel free and fulfilled inwardly- you'll totally be praised like "omg (x) is really evolving they're looking sooo good..."- but anyway, just trust me ok ♡ because you're going to look back on all that you're feeling- all the hurt, confusion, negativity- and you're going to be stunned like- omg, if i hadn't felt and experienced and processed all of that, i wouldn't be feeling this good rn. So start that process!!!!! Get yourself a cute journal if you don't already have one with cute pens (record yourself to look back at later), start watching youtube videos on self-concept and emotional processing, saturate your mind with all that self-improvement- self-discovery- and building yourself up to be all the joy and love you bring to others (and hotter than evaaa😎), all for yourself ♡. I freaking love you~ now go get your sweet treat!!!!! (or two, that's totally ok~ just for today~) ⚬.

⚬. "And nothing hurts like you do- like the way you say I love you" - "See it on your face you won't ever change in your ways" - "When your torn apart you'll destroy me again"

⚬. *tw: themed song is dark for this pile like wuttt, but it just kept replaying in my mind during the reading so maybe it'd be your thing? idk lollll ⚬.

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⚬. King of Pentacles, The Tower (reversed), Two of Pentacles, Queen Of Wands (reversed), Knight Of Swords, Seven Of Swords ⚬.

⚬.🕷 Student life, number 1-12-6, 1111, 1212, 666, lawyer or law practice type degree, thin or medium length hair, natural eye bags/under eye veins, INTP/INFJ, monochromatic clothes, cotton loungewear, Sagittarius/Virgo/Taurus/Capricorn/Libra placements, mars ruled/dominant 🕷⚬.

⚬. Okkk pile 3s, I must talk about your appearance and aura because... Wow!! I am enchanted- I see you are very statue-esque, so you may be on the tall side, especially for my women/afabs it's a very noticeable trait about you, of course you can be a normal height but there is just something about the way you are built that is very statue-like. And that appearance really shows who you are inside and your inner energy because you are soooo calming, mature, and also very spiritual in your self-concept- like if you were my friend and I had you in my inner circle I would trust you with so much, like you're held high in your own inner circle/peers. Maybe you don't feel that way because while you guys are very much givers of your time and nurturing nature- you know to put yourself first on your list of priorities, and that, not only is what makes you so good at your time management (like how do you it??? Please teach meee), it also gives you this air of independence- very natural independence too like, you're again a nurturing and giving being but you treat yourself with that same energy. I'm seeing a large tree in the middle of a expansive and dense forest, and all that magnificent health flowing through that forest is thanks to that tree right in the middle self-regulating and thus creating all that health that all of the life around it can benefit from… So yea self-care is a big thing for youuuu~ I'm seeing the routines you have are very simple so they just blend in so effortlessly into your daily life, and it is literally what is making you into that magnificent tree full of self-regulating energy. Again really simple, minimalist style of self-care- I see morning walks/jogging and journaling to clear and refresh your mind space, you may like to read, and prefer audiobooks or mindfulness-centered podcasts over other forms of media to help you relax and refocus, I'm seeing you like to not be strict with your diet but instead add to it things like fruits-veggies- and more purely sourced foods- your skin care is very simple with few-if any- products and your consistent with it as you are with everything else in your life. Even if you feel like you're "failing", you aren't. and deep down you know that you aren't- you've grown so much and that's really tapped you into not just self-responsibility/regulation but also to give yourself the grace to breathe. That's so beautiful!!!!!! ugh. And like- all of this natural self-focus you have, it's so spiritual- it's not grounded in your ego. You're just so in touch with your highest self. And lovely, they/she/he is so proud of you. I have to say again, if you were my friend, you would definitely be the person I'd go to- to take care of my puppy for 2 weeks in complete peace, and someone I'd have a drink with on a Saturday night all made up and done up talking about the deepest of topics. ⚬.

⚬. Very interesting personality and image I was getting and building up compared to the cards I pulled- I'm getting you might not have always been this balanced in your personal life and emotions, in fact you might have been very much the opposite… Because you grew up in an environment very unlike the one you are currently building for yourself- you may have had a toxic and vicious mother or other feminine figures that really put the fear of God in you and also made you fear yourself with the thought of one-day exuding and feeling such damaged feminine energy…. You might have also had a lot of friend drama- for those older reading this, this happened in your youth (middle-high school) and to those still in mentioned youth, you're freshly out of it (-good for you ily), said dramatic struggles was a reflection really of all the chaos of your home environment and all of the pent up intensity of it… I'm just hearing so many arguments and you feeling like you're being set on fire over and over again... So I'm getting with how much of a shift you made, you feel this coldness in your heart space- partly due to how fiery and emotional your past way of existing was, and also because while this shift that you made for yourself is excellent considering where you came from, it also happened very suddenly- and while you have implemented many new healthy habits… I'm seeing your past wounds still remain open. You can't bring in the new without clearing out the old... while you've done the work of shifting from the old habits to new- that's only half of the battlefield within you that has been fought and conquered, and now you need to face the other half instead of journeying away from it. Because even with all the peace you've found and created for yourself, what you have not faced, felt, and processed for the final round still remains… Maybe you fear your peace and balance being threatened by opening up your hurt, and that's totally understandable and valid. But if you wish to build a peaceful future, you must make peace with the past version of yourself. They/she/he who's still wrapped up in the chaos around them, mimicking that chaos back out of fear, feeling completely alone-that version of yourself needs your attention and healing more then ever. And I know you like to journal or record your thoughts, so allow those darker feelings and wounds into the space- keep the learned peace you have found and treat yourself with that gentleness past you wished they had been given-address them and ask them what memories stick with them most vividly and ask how it made them feel-how it made you feel at the time. Ask yourself what traits you feared most about the people who hurt you and analyze them- the emotions behind them and their cause and effect- and look within how you may be playing out those same traits stemming from the trauma of experiencing them.. I know I'm getting really heavy now, but that's just it- as you are growing upwards and becoming lighter, what no longer serves you grows heavier- and it needs your addressing, so you can become all that you want to be and exist as. You've already shown yourself that you are capable of finding and attracting peace, so now it's time to give yourself the peace of healing. Be the bigger girl/guy/person to yourself, allow yourself to feel it and address it in this safe space you've created. OK BESTIEEE I'm wishing you so much love and joy in your inner discovery journey- I loooove youuu ⚬.

⚬. "There's a fine line I've been walking" -This is where you fuckers pushed me, don't be surprised if shit gets ugly" - "-there's a fine line between broken and breaking- spent my whole trying to change what they say about me- sick of walking that fine line" - "I feel safest in the silence" - "-my whole life I've had something to prove, to you" ⚬.

⚬. *Bonus song*: Too Far Gone by Kesha ⚬.

⚬. oh my- okkk you got to the bottom- hiiiiii- byeeeee 👋

love, vi~♡

#୨୧┈♡ vi post #୨୧┈♡ vi pac #pac #pac tarot #pick an image #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a picture #pick a pile

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rainerioun · 2 months

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𝖶𝖧𝖠𝖳 𝖳𝖱𝖮𝖯𝖤 𝖥𝖨𝖳𝖲 𝖸𝖮𝖴𝖱 𝖥𝖴𝖳𝖴𝖱𝖤 𝖱𝖤𝖫𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭𝖲𝖧𝖨𝖯? | 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝖺 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖽.

— Hey there! In this reading, we'll explore which romantic/writing trope might fit your relationship with your future spouse best. Some of these themes can get pretty deep, so if you're not in the right headspace for that, perhaps come back another time. <3

HOW TO CHOOSE A PILE : The outcome may vary based on whether you receive clear messages visually or intuitively. If you resonate more with selecting a pile visually, trust that inclination. Personally, I believe the notion that 'looks can deceive,' so I prefer to take a deep breath and close my eyes, allowing the pile I'm meant to connect with to come to me. You might see the color of the pile, sense or hear a number, or simply feel its overall vibe.

Please don’t redistribute or edit my content.

MUST READ + MASTERLIST

PILE ONE

ENEMIES TO LOVERS. | RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME. | STAR-CROSSED.

Romance Trope? Knight of Wands [Reversed]. | Ten of Wands [Reversed]. | The Hanged Man [Reversed].

For some, a person from your past might resurface. Either way, there will be a separation. When you first encounter your future spouse, one or both of you may be going through a dark time. I should state that this connection will never become manipulative or deeply toxic, which nobody should accept or endorse.

Nonetheless, this connection won't be smooth sailing in the beginning. While serious hatred will not arise, there'll be a struggle to understand each other, which stems from inner wounds. Seeing reflections of yourself in them, and vice versa, leads to frustration because neither of you has fully healed yet. Stubbornness on both sides leads to drifting apart. Impulsive actions worsen the situation, causing you to dislike each other.

Initially, I wasn't quite sure how to define the relationship because y'all aren't really enemies, just two hurt people.

Expansion. Community. | Hostilities. | Anxiety.

Your future spouse might come into your life through a friend or an acquaintance, perhaps in a familiar setting you visit often. The connection between you both sparks a profound realization, which leads to heightened anxiety and tension. It might feel like you weren't supposed to meet this person, but in truth, you were destined to cross paths. Because when you reunite in the future, you'll love each other through the toughest times and cherish each other even more during the best moments. You're meant to teach each other lessons that no one else could, guiding you back to where you're meant to be in the end. I definitely see sleepless nights, though. — You might find each other again in the place you originally met.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody? Dolphin : Innately Intelligent, Healer, Light Blessings. Bear : Waking From Spiritual Slumber. Beginning Anew.

When you reunite, both you and this person have undoubtedly grown. It's a chance to begin anew with them at the right moment. Your future spouse has a knack for making people question themselves, but with you, it's particularly intense. While it may have caused hurt in the past for both of you, now you can work through it together.

While pulling the cards, I heard a distinct and amusing cackle, almost like a 'dolphin laugh,' even their giggles could be a loud and funny.

Insight. Hermit — Light : Seeks solitude to focus intently on inner life. Serves personal creativity. Shadow : Withdraws from society of others. Refusing to help those in need. Father — Light : Talent for creating and supporting life. Positive guiding light within a tribal unit. Shadow : Dictatorial control. Abuse of authority. Fool — Light : Fearlessly revealing emotion. Helping people laugh at absurdity and hypocrisy. Shadow : Using humor to wound rather than liberate. Denial of your emotional truth.

Your future spouse will always have an introverted nature, but before change occurs, they are extremely reserved, perhaps to an unhealthy extent. They could be overly engrossed in work, other projects, or family matters, possibly taking on a leadership role for their siblings, which can be stressful even if they don't live together. Beneath the surface, they have a playful side. In the past, both of you might have been a too naive, but you'll reconnect when they emanate this strong fatherly energy. I'm hearing, 'Young, Dumb, and Broke.'

Additional. Soulmates : Soul Connection, Partnership, Agreement, Soul Contract. Coffin : Endings Bring New Beginnings, Growth, Change, Liberation, Transition. Separation : Sadness, Missing You, Thinking About You, Yearning, Unsure of Future. Clock : Need Time, Takes Time, In Time, Cycles, Time to Heal, Progress.

There might be a bit of a chase for a while, whether it's conscious or not. When you make efforts to understand them, they might pull away, and the same goes for you. As much as it feels strange to say it, the label of twin flames could suit this connection. However, you'll eventually overcome this phase. It's possible you were only meant to learn the lesson of self-betterment from each other in this life, but both of your paths took unexpected turns, leading you to find each other despite it all. You both will make up time from not only your younger years, but previous lifetimes.

When everything falls into place and you seek forgiveness from each other, this connection becomes truly extraordinary. It's profound and complex, holding such true beauty. Eventually, it settles into something steady, providing the stability and fulfillment you both crave. Life together feels as close to perfect as it can get.

Take A Walk : Passion Pit. | Salad Days : Mac Demarco. | The Blower's Daughter : Damien Rice.

PILE TWO

FORCED PROXIMITY. | WORKPLACE.

Romance Trope? The Emperor. | Justice. | Four of Pentacles.

You and your future spouse will be drawn to each other no matter what, as if fate itself is pulling you together. You'll find yourself in situations where you encounter your future spouse frequently. I suspect this could be through some form of work. It's possible they might hold a higher position than you, maybe even a boss, though it's not necessary. They could simply have a lot of influence and trust. In some manner, this person plays a role in ensuring your financial stability.

Expansion. Angel of Strength. | Cornucopia. | Man Holding A Coin.

Once more, this person holds a certain sway over you. For some, this influence might stem from them being your client. They control your actions because they requested them.

It all depends on your current profession or your future plans. If you're primarily self-employed, even if you have a 'boss', this person might approach you as a client or possibly someone seeking work. However, if you're in a more corporate environment, they could be your boss or a colleague.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody? Dragon : Seeing One’s Most True Self, Balancing The Ego. Bat : Darkness, Letting Go, Death Leading To Rebirth. Lizard : Instinctual, Sensitive to The Subtle, Dreamer.

Your future spouse isn't really the bossy type. They can be assertive but are generally understanding and flexible. I don't see a power struggle whatsoever. They could be a natural leader, yet I believe their compassionate and accommodating nature prevents them from being cutthroat or overly blunt. Their work is very important to them, but they also recognize the humanity in their co-workers.

Insight. Healer — Light : Passion to serve others by repairing the body, mind, and spirit. Ability to help transform pain into healing. Shadow : Taking advantage of those who need help. Failing to care for oneself. Thief — Light : Sheds light on the potential wealth within you that can never be stolen. Shadow : Stealing money, creative ideas, affection or other powers you think you lack. God — Light : Benevolence and compassion. Recognizing the eternal force within yourself and others. Shadow : Despotism and cruelty. Using power to control people.

As I mentioned before, this person will play a role in guiding your career somehow. They'll have things to teach you, just as you'll have things to teach them. You might notice an increase in financial opportunities or wealth around the time you meet this person, probably because of their doing, but maybe not!

Additional. Karmic Relationship : Fleeting, Turmoil, Resentment, Lessons, Letting go and Loving you. Camera : Reminiscing, Keepsake, Perception, Learn From the Past, Make Memories. Girl Talk : Time with Friends, Moving On, Happily Single, Living in the Moment, Having Fun. Palm Tree : Stability, Security, Permanence, Growth, Endurance, Flexibility.

Before anyone gets worried, let me clarify that I didn't take the Karmic Relationship card too seriously. I interpreted the message as affirming that this relationship will involve significant learning and growth. Not everyone will end up parting ways with this person, but everyone involved will gain valuable insights from the other. This connection could help both of you avoid repeating past mistakes. — As an alternate message, I'd like to add that it's time to let go of past relationships. Your future partner wants you to embrace self-love and believes in your ability to find happiness within yourself. Mastering contentment while single will not only attract them sooner but also teach you a valuable lesson that's ready to be learned.

Your future spouse will stand by your side and do everything in their power to support you. They aren't just interested in your safety and stability; they'll actively work to make sure it happens. Their actions speak volumes in this regard.

Partition : Beyoncé. | I Will : Mitski.

PILE THREE

SECOND CHANCE. | FORBIDDEN LOVE.

Romance Trope? Two of Bows/Wands [Reversed]. | Seven of Vessels/Cups. | Two of Vessels/Cups [Reversed]. | The Green Woman. | Ten of Bows/Wands.

For many of you, I don't believe this is just an ex. I sense a third-party element at play here. Pinpointing a main scenario is too tricky; it varies for everyone by a lot. Perhaps you meet this person through a friend with whom you'll later drift apart with. Maybe your future partner happens to be a sibling of a friend. The possibilities are numerous. Nonetheless, there's someone who acts as a bridge between you both, influencing the connection. You might even have someone in mind already as you read this.

Regardless of the circumstances, I don't think your future spouse is the cause of this temporary 'separation', which might end up being a lack of communication for a short period of time until the situation resolves itself. I can't see a time where your future spouse was previously unkind or unpleasant to you, but rather it's more likely that the mutual person between you two played that role. If there are any rumors circulating, your future spouse will likely discern who's at fault and support you.

Expansion. Angel of Love. | Fifth Chakra : Archangel Gabriel. | Magician and The Mirror.

At first, your future spouse might assume they're to blame for the fallout and feel guilty about it. This uncertainty might delay the reconnection, even though they're fully committed to being by your side. They'll struggle with how to initiate fixing things, but eventually, they'll gather the courage to try. This reconciliation could happen online, if that resonates.

The forbidden aspect of this connection might originate from parental expectations, like qualities they require in your partner. Remember, you always have a choice in this matter. If not, it's not necessarily wrong but might be viewed with disapproval, such as getting involved with a friend's ex-partner.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody? Tiger : Lunar Force, Ease in Darkness, Feminine Energy. Raccoon : Talented, Shadowy, In Hiding. Hawk : Watchful, All-Seeing, Messenger of Divinity.

Your future spouse is incredibly passionate and generous in their relationships and friendships, and this will shine even more when you two reconnect. They'll be open and sincere about their love for you once they emerge from hiding.

Insight. Addict — Light : Helps you recognize and confront addictive behavior. Shadow : Compromises integrity and honesty. Allows an addictive pattern to have authority over your inner spirit. Avenger — Light : Desire to balance the scales of justice. Righteousness on behalf of society or oneself. Shadow : Resorting to violence in the name of a cause. Seeker — Light : Thirst for wisdom and truth wherever they are. Shadow : Inability to commit to a path once found.

After reconnecting, your future spouse will become more righteous, not just in relationships, but in all aspects of life. They won't stand for their loved ones being mistreated and will seek truth in murky situations, sharing their insights to keep you informed. They'll be honest about areas needing improvement while maintaining their patient and kind nature. By this time, they will understand how to be straightforward yet gentle.

Additional. The Butterfly : Relationship Evolving to the Next Phase, Healing the Inner Child, Growth. Boat : Receiving What You Need, Progression, Arriving, Moving On, Closure Issues. Girl With a Snake : Empath and Narcissist Paradigm, Being Charmed or Used, Enable Boundaries. Heartbroken : Deeply Hurt, Sad, Separation, Breakup, Feeling Lost, Grieving, Mourning.

Reconnecting with you will be a healing and transformative experience for them. It will bring closure to their past, and you might need to reassure them that your aren't going anywhere. It's a bit odd, but lately, I've been watching Supernatural, and this person reminds me of Sam Winchester. They have a strong desire to protect you, but sometimes they might overextend themselves trying to provide for you. Which isn't your fault at all, they just need a reminder to relax and slow down.

Killer : The Ready Set. | She Looks So Perfect : 5 Seconds of Summer. | Holding Hands : The Magic Lantern.

PILE FOUR

FRIENDS TO LOVERS. | SOULMATES.

Romance Trope? Six of Pentacles. | Seven of Cups [Reversed]. | Three of Wands [Reversed].

Although it's one of the sweetest piles, it's also a tad messy. Not everyone will relate to this aspect, but take what resonates.

This person could be from your childhood or teenage years, or maybe someone you've recently met, or have yet to meet. Anything really. However, I feel for the majority it's someone you know. You have to figure this part out for yourself. But regardless, they're incredibly generous toward you, whether it's with money, affection, or understanding. However, this connection isn't without its challenges. Despite being very supportive, you'll have to navigate obstacles together. There might be setbacks or delays, but ultimately, your bond will grow stronger and develop into a romantic relationship.

Expansion. Strategy. | Storm Warning. | Healer of the Ages.

This part might only apply to a few, but I don't necessarily see it as your next relationship. Why? Well, because there are cards here, and later in the reading, that hint at some kind of breakup, which your future spouse helps you navigate through.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody? Elk : Stable, Resilient, Headstrong, The Father. Turtle : Ancient Soul, Grounded, Trusting, At Home in the Self. Crocodile : Resting, Submerging, Collecting Energy, Cooling Off.

Your future spouse will always carry the aura of a caregiver, being nurturing and extending their kindness towards both loved ones and strangers alike. They have a natural inclination towards being giving but possess a discerning eye when it comes to where and who they invest their energy. Their actions are consistent, and they seem calm and collected.

Your future spouse really embodies the ideal father figure and likely connect effortlessly with children. Patience and wisdom are strong in their nature, further enhancing this energy. They're like a true teddy bear until provoked.

Insight. Student — Light : Humility and devotion to knowledge. Openness to lifelong learning. Shadow : Arrogance in the pursuit of destructive knowledge. Unwillingness to translate knowledge into action. Prince — Light : Romantic charm and potential for power. Shadow : Using power for self-aggrandizement. Companion — Light : Loyalty, tenacity, and unselfishness. Shadow : Betrayal by misusing confidences. Loss of personal identity.

Think of your ideal "prince charming" - that's precisely who your future spouse is, whether in appearance or mindset. Gender doesn't limit this; it's about their energy and attitude. They have boundless curiosity, always eager to explore life and learn. Their fascination with you extends to wanting to know every detail, so they can envision and arrange everything in their mind. Loyalty and romance are ingrained in them, qualities you'll surely cherish. They're very charming.

Even in friendship, your future spouse exhibits a strong protective instinct, perhaps even a hint of possessiveness. You might not even realize your love for them until something sudden strikes. It's really like something out of fan fiction, where a seemingly random spark is actually the culmination of a slow burn. This realization may dawn on you when your future spouse defends or stands up for you in some manner. Suddenly, all the signs they've been dropping will become clear, and even the glance from them afterward will convey everything you need to know.

Additional. The Phoenix : New Phase, Rekindle, Renew, Transformation, Growth, Changed Mind. Stabbed in the Back : Heartbreak, Pain, Separation, Deception, Shocking Attack. Palm Tree : Stability, Security, Permanence, Growth, Endurance, Flexibility. Mask : Not Showing True Feelings, Hide, Personify, Pretend, Delude, Gaslighting. Sunglasses : Watching, Looking, Stalking, Gaslighting, Perception, Focusing Out. Keys on a Ring : Many Options, Decision, Unconventional, String Along, One Night Stand.

For those it applies to, I'm revisiting my earlier point about being in a relationship and your future spouse's good sense of judgment regarding character. If this doesn't resonate, feel free to skip and check out the songs instead. Thank you!

Your future spouse had already secretly admired you for some time. Aware of your existing relationship, they struggled to suppress their feelings. Amidst the chaos in their mind, they couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right with your partner. They wanted to reach out to warn you out of genuine concern, but you dismissed it as an overreaction. There's a chance your partner at the time suspected something between you two, leading to a sudden end to the relationship [Although, I don't think there was anything actually happening.] They might have harbored resentment for a while. But fear not, your future partner comes to the rescue. Whether they witness the breakup or support you afterward, you'll come to realize that your true feelings lay with them all along, but you were blinded by the allure of another. With too many choices before, you failed to think clearly and see what was right in front of you.

Like That : Jack and Jack. | Somewhere Only We Know : Keane. | Little Person : Matt Maltese. | Boyfriend : Dove Cameron. [Update: Forgot to add a song, sorry!]

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crystallilytarot · 5 months

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(sorry for the lighting, it's getting dark here)

A little reading for people who are single since birth. Choose a butterfly

Pile 1 - purple butterfly

(I know it looks pink, but it's light purple actually, just saying this because maybe purple is a significant color for you)

If you are trying to manifest someone, praying or anything, don't give up, it's working! Have confidense. Don't give up on hope, you will find love, don't worry. But also, I know it's a little confusing, but try not to be too obsessed about it. I feel there will be a big change in your life, I don't think it's bad, just something big. And you will be too busy to think about love, but suddenly there will be your person. I almost wrote soulmate, they can be your soulmate too. It's definitely a fated connection. It can happen relatively fast, the energie is pretty fast. You can meet online. Or in a trip, they are traveling to where you live or you travel to their city. It can be a long distance relationship for a while at first. They seems like a fun person, probably an extrovert, optimistic. A youthful person, even if they are older than you. Sexual chemistry is very good here. It can be that you will study or work somewhere else and you will meet them there. I feel you won't be sure if they are good for you at first, because their personality. But it's not like they can't be serious too, so they aren't just a fun loving person. You can overcome anything together, they are the kind of person who will support you in hard times too.

Pile 2 - orange butterfly

Feels like love at first sight. Or should I say lust at first sight? I feel they are like want you right there, when they meet them. You are like two magnets to each other. It can be a little overwhelming though. They will be your type physically. They are very charming, confident, they will sweep you off your feet. They are probably a foreigner or have foreign parents /roots. I feel you two need to focus to know each other too. Because the physical attraction here is so strong. At one point there can be separation too, or a misunderstanding, I see a little conflict here. But I think it's actually good for you to take some time seperately, because it felt like it was too much for you two, you suddenly went from single to fully in love and it was overwhelming. You can meet when traveling. Or it can be after some hard time in your life, or that specific day will be a hard one, but you will be tired, but they will still find you very attractive. It's either raining or snowing that day.

Pile 3 - black and red butterfly

Oh definitely soulmates. I think they are older than you, mature, a little conservative maybe or just traditional. Very loyal, a hard worker. Their love language can be gift giving, they like to take care of their loved ones. Maybe they find it a little harder to tell you how they feel, but they will show you with actions. Very protective over you. You two probably get married too. You can meet in a church too. Or in a grocery store, somewhere you can buy something. I heard book store or a library too. For some of you, family or friends will introduce you two. I feel like you need to be patient, they are coming, don't worry, but it's need a little more time. I think they like to take their time anyway, not a reckless person, likes to think about their decisions. If you have any physical or mental problem, they will be very understanding and you will get better. If you need medical help, please go to a professional doctor, but I'm just trying to say that they will bring positive change in your life, you will be more balanced with them. I feel for some of you, you will move in together fast, so you can leave that bad environment.

#free tarot #pick a card #tarot #pick a pile

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delicious-in-imagines · 1 month

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Hii! Hope you’re doing well :3! Could I request like basic relationship headcanons with Kabru, Chilchuck, and Laios? If not that’s totally fine! Hope you have a good day! :D

You got it, boss!

Kabru of Utaya

I've covered this before in other posts, but his eye for details when it comes to people is going to be used on you. He has a internal list of things you love and things that you hate, and often references it over the course of the relationship.

The only way that he cleans his room is if you're coming over. He'll ask you to return with him on a whim, and then realizes that 'oh shit, I can't have them see this,' and once you get back, he tries to make a distraction, or just asks you to hang out in the hallway as he struggles to stuff all of the shit on the floor under every piece of furniture he can. His landlord finds this endlessly amusing, and knows when you're coming over because Kabru is frantically trying to clean - he helps to give Kabru some pointers.

Loves to surprise you with things you mention in passing, a necklace or bracelet that you saw in a nearby stall, taking you out to a fancy place that you mentioned wanting to go to dinner, or even just something that you need that he noticed. Stuff like a new whetstone, a repair for your armor, anything like that.

He's not the biggest on embraces, but this is a man who loves to cuddle when the two of you are in bed. He absolutely enjoys wrapping his hands around you, either having you curling into his neck, or with your back slotted neatly against him. He always plays with your hands, linking your fingers together. He actually gets to the point that he can't sleep easily unless he at least has some part of his body touching yours.

Cup his face before kissing him, stare into his eyes and tell him something along the lines of 'I love the color of your eyes' and just watch him melt. He used to be self-conscious and hate his eyes, though it's something he's outgrown over the years, but he still loves to hear it come from your lips.

Chilchuck Tims

His love language is admonishing you - sorry not sorry. He's very much the kind of person that if he is barking at you while patching you up, or while trying to help you, that he cares deeply about you. He yells because he cares, if he didn't, he wouldn't say a word.

Before you get into a relationship, he's absolutely going to bring up his past, at least in some capacity. Even if it's part of his sordid past, you deserve to know. He promises that he's changed, but he also knows that the only way to prove that is through his actions.

Speaking of, he does want you to meet his daughters. He's not ashamed of them - quite the opposite, he loves them dearly, and he doesn't want to feel like he's hiding them from you, or you from them. Though, there's not enough words in the common language to express how relieved he is when his daughters like you.

Even though he hates interpersonal relationships in groups, he also starts to outgrow that in bits and pieces. While on the job, he's going to be a bit more aloof, though he absolutely will indulge a handhold, and will only marginally shoo you away when you press a little peck to his cheek or temple.

Though, whenever you take breaks, he's definitely more receptive to any open displays of affection, and will even come to you to initiate. Especially if you're sitting, he'll come up to you and cup your face, making you look up at him - which is something that he loves way too much to be healthy. He's used to people looking down towards him, so being able to tip your head up? It's like a drug for him.

He knows that he's a walking space heater, and anticipates you setting your bedroll beside his own. He'll open up his blanket and grouse until you settle down, sighing out and finally snuggling up to you. Whether you like to be the big spoon or the little spoon, he enjoys the casual closeness. Though, his favorite is if you're bigger than him - being the big spoon, or more aptly, your jetpack.

Laios Touden

Being able to share meals made up of meal parts is a dream come true for him. He might pout occasionally if you are unsure about whatever y'all are eating. But, whenever he can, if there's something that you genuinely liked - then he's more than willing to share with you! I like to think that sharing food or cooking it with him is a love language of his.

If you're willing to listen to him constantly rambling about his hyperfixation on monsters, he'll continue on excitedly before he'll cut himself off, stumbling over his words and apologizing. Please - please, please, please, reassure him, even if you just tell him, 'I might not fully understand, but I just like listening to you.' You'll have his heart immediately, looking at you so softly and wrapping you up in a hug and thanking you. He knows sometimes he can get carried away, but knowing that you value his joy even if you don't fully agree, it warms his heart.

I like to think that rather than defaulting to kisses for showing affection, that he head bonks. You know how cats do the bunting? Yeah, that. He'll come up to you while you're doing something mundane and just bonk his head against yours. Sometimes it's a little too harsh, but that's just how much he loves you.

Above anything else, he wants you to meet his sister. While he may not be able to, nor want, to take you home to his parents - he does want you to meet the family that he cares about most. He'll share stories about Falin, things they did when they were younger, or when they were gold strippers, though sometimes he cuts himself off when he feels overwhelmed with what has happened to his sister.

He's a sprawler when he sleeps, usually on his back - pulls the full starfish. So, if you want to cuddle, you'll have to sleep in the crook of his arm, where he'll close his arm to bring you closer to him. Sleeping on the rise and fall of his chest, hearing his thumping heart skip a beat every time that you rest your head there. When he wakes up first, he can't find it in himself to wake you, craning his head awkwardly to watch your sleeping form with the softest smile on his face.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi reader #delicious in dungeon reader #x reader #headcanons #hcs #dungeon meshi headcanons #delicious in dungeon headcanons #kabru of utaya #chilchuck tims #laios touden

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mobblespsycho100 · 2 months

Note

which one’s toshiro and whys he autistic?

[ID: full body colored illustration of toshiro from the dungeon meshi manga. /End ID]

THIS FREAKIN GUY!!!! anyway

[ID: anonymous tumblr ask: "would def love to hear ur autistic shuro thoughts". /End ID]

awesome. rant under the cut because it will be long

So before we understand why Toshiro is the way he is we must first understand two things abt him:

1. his household situation is a very traditional clan of warriors type situation. his father is very strict and he left his homeland to go to the Island and explore the dungeon to train and become a warrior to be someone suited as the family head

2. Eastern and Western cultures of respect/propriety are different, and Ryoko Kui highlights it well even in her fantasy world.

With that in mind, heres some bullet point rapid fire thoughts that consume my current state of dunmeshi brain:

Toshiro has an avoidant personality. He fears upsetting others due to his upbringing, and rarely tells others how he feels not because he thinks they would simply understand him but because he doesn't want to seem rude and imposing / cause offense to others especially since he's not in his own homeland / hes a foreigner that should respect the land's customs, not his own wishes.

Setting boundaries is hard for everyone, but especially autistic (and some other ND, like those with Avoidant Personality Disorder) people. Those with ASD, at least in my experience, don't want to be isolated from others. So they mask.

They mask what? their desires. their true selves. their opinions. their discomfort. all for the sake of pleasing others (who are often neurotypical)

With that in mind, suddenly, what Maizuru said abt him as a child makes sense. Due to his strict upbringing, Toshiro had to more or less hide his preferences and force himself to adapt to the rigid constraints of his culture and the pressure to be the next family head, this responsibility is his burden to bear and he cannot be someone who expresses his selfish desires instead of focusing on being a strong warrior and leader

"Why did he say he hate Laios and that it should've been obvious that he disliked/found Laios' treatment of him uncomfortable??" BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS. I'm not going to write off Laios' autism/autistic coding, but its baffling (note: definitely racism and bias for white autistic ppl) to me that a lot of ppl don't see Toshiro's perspective and straight up ignores it. This is a lack of wanting to be rude by speaking up that is based on culture difference on Toshiro's part, and straight up ignorant of his microagressions/racism and lack of self awareness on Laios' end. They were both right, they were both wrong too. This is a complicated conflict that cannot be boiled down to simple ableist/the NT vs ND divide. There's something called . intersectionality. Which brings me to the next point

Toshiro never actually hated Laios. He found him uncomfortable, yes. But he didn't /hate/ him, he was speaking out because he's had enough!!! he's done tolerating Laios' racist bullshit, and he's done following the arbitrary Eastern rules of respecting others and not being rude!!! He. Wants. Laios. To Understand. What. He. Was. Feeling. Because he just had enough!!!!! alright!!! he's at his limit hes at his breaking point, the one he loves is now probably beyond saving, and this is a good time as any to break the news to Laios that he thinks that Laios is impulsive and doesn't fully understand how his actions have consequences!!! Hes right abt this. His feelings on this is valid, just as valid as Laios'

General autistic traits I find from Toshiro: his admiration of Falin's indifference towards insects ("woah shes so brave and gentle!! just like me, fr!!!"), His lack of regard for his own needs and wants (needing to sleep and eat and drink) because he was super focused on saving Falin, His lack of like drastic expression changes, his discomfort with physical touch when it's initiated without consent (see: Laios hugging ppl extra bonus art by Ryoko Kui), his manner of like speaking short and concise, people pleasing tendencies, his like quick way of combat, rule upholder/routine following enjoyer, he seems distant from others even those he consider family not cuz of like any terrible reason but hes just. someone who enjoys his own time alone like. yeah

aannnnndd. thats abt it? i think.

Big part of this is definitely me relating to Shiro as an Asian (specifically chinese indonesian) person who is probably Autistic lmao. I hope this brings more insight on why Toshiro is actually one of the silliest and epiccest dunmeshi characters ever I love him

#asks #dungeon meshi #toshiro nakamoto #dunmeshi #L 👁️‍🗨️🌫️ !#shuro dunmeshi #(help)#idk if he has tags. does he have fans here. pls say he does

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lumi077 · 4 days

Text

He's the type of man to...

A/N: Once again i have changed hyper fixations...drastically. And y'all know what that means lol...Nanami and Yuuta the type to be MY type if you catch my drift. Try to guess my favorite lol

Includes: Kento Nanami, Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Yuuta Okkotsu, Masamichi Yaga

Warnings: MDNI; elludes to nsfw but no actual smut, possessive themes, canontypical violence in some (no gore), as always potential ooc, petnames (my love, princess, baby, babydoll, honey), slight spoilers for Geto (oops), Geto is a sorcerer au, slight harassment in yuuta's, specified fem reader in some (ie wife/princess)

Nanami Kento

is the type of man to settle on his knees by your feet and strap on your heels for you.

You hum lightly, eyes flickering over what pairs of heels to wear to your husband’s work party before settling on a classy pair of black strapped ones. Before you can even lean down to put them on, Kento is kneeling down. His fingers ghost over your knee and down your calf before resting firmly on your ankle and slotting it into your chosen heel. Thick fingers quickly buckle them around your delicate ankle, and to finish it off he presses a kiss right above the strap. He repeats the action on the other foot, and you two are definitely going to be fashionably late.

He’s the type of man to let you try out different color combustions of nail polish on his first.

“Ken.” You cooed to your blonde husband, sat on the chair across from you. As he looks up from his book, you gesture to the colors spread out on the table “which ones do you think would look good?” He looks them over before pointing to a cool lavender and white before offering you his hand. Catching your questioning gaze he shrugs and simply states “try it out on me first.”

He’s the type to drive you around with a hand on your thigh always, and he always lets you play your music. Even going so far as to memorize singers you like.

You and Kento were heading to a newly opened club to hang out with some friends, his hand splayed across your upper thigh. His thumb was rubbing mindless circles as you scrolled through your phone “any requests?” Looking up at him. “Play that one singer you like…Lana del Rey was it?” And you swear you swooned.

He’s the type of man you want to marry and have kids with, his responsible and nurturing personality luring you in.

“you know.” You drawl out the words, looking at him through the corner of your eye. “Yuji is kinda like our kid.”

Kento hums, raising a brow but not looking up from his work laptop “what makes you say that, my love?”

“He’s constantly over here, we feed him, give him an allowance…kinda makes me want another smaller kid.”

That makes him look up “you want a baby?” And when you nod your pretty little head he takes you right there and then.

Kento Nanami is the type of man to stare down other men at the work party he took you too-not liking how the drunkards were staring at your exposed skin.

You were leaning on the bar, making small talk with Shoko before you felt a large muscular hand wrap around your hip and pull you closer. “Ken?” You mumbled, looking over your shoulder to see him looking somewhere else. Unbothered, you wrap your arms around his neck and press a kiss to his cheek. “Who’re you staring at, my love?”

“Some guy, looking at you like you’re not my wife.” he grumbled, leaning his head down to kiss you properly.

“Wanna go home?” You asked, hand rubbing his chest before letting out a little giggle when he nods his head.

“Wanna show you just how much of you is mine” Spoiler alert-all of you

Satoru Gojo

is the type to randomly spoil you with very expensive gifts whenever he can. He rarely sees you some days and he needs to make it up to you somehow.

Satoru was away again, another mission only he was deemed worthy enough to go one. By himself. You sigh as you unlock your shared apartment, something off. There, on the little table you keep in the entryway is a gift box with your name elegantly scrawled on it, opening it you find something you mentioned wanting- that was very expensive. Along with that was a note

“I’m sorry I’m not there to see your pretty face baby. I’ll make it up to you when I come home. -Your Satoru”

Satoru is the type of man to make you feel like a Greek god reincarnated, never is there a moment without praise.

you were doing something mundane, scrolling on your phone while sitting on your very comfortable but ridiculously expensive couch when long lithe hands lifted your legs and let them fall onto his lap. “You’re gorgeous, ya know.” He cooed, fingers rubbing your calf as you giggle. “Pretty enough to eat right up.” He sighed affectionately, and you knew how this night would end.

He is the type of man to always gush about you, letting everyone know just who he belongs to

he was sitting in the expansive room, watching his students and those of the Kyoto school duke it out in the annual exchange event. "My poor sweet baby would have loved to be here to see this" he pouted, almost childishly. They had sent you on a mission, leaving him with boring Utahime nagging him.

"Shut up!" Utahime whined, giving him a pointed stare even though she too missed the presence you would bring.

Mei Mei laughed, shaking her head "They're more bareable than you, after all Gojo"

And now he's missing you all over again.

He is the type of man to let you use any and all of his expensive clothing whenever you want.

"Toruuu" You called in a sing song voice, clad in your pajamas while scouring your shared closet.

"Yesss princess?" he hummed from the bed, propping up to look at you.

"Can I wear one of your shirts today." You barely spar him a glance as you take said shirt off the hanger before he even speaks.

"Course baby, looks much better on you." He hummed, letting his head fall back into the pillows at the thought of you in his clothes.

The type that even though he prefers his carefree nature, gets so serious when it comes to you.

He told you, hours after the mission, how nervous he was when you called him. Panting into the phone, sounds of many curses in the background. You only said one word before the phone was crushed "help"

He was there in an instant, and he could see why you needed help. You were very powerful, but even if would have trouble with multiple grade 1 curses and another special grade.

Devoid of his usual humor or playfulness when fighting, he slaughtered them in record time so he could rush you to Shoko.

You had gotten so many kisses, you think the feeling of his lips are imprinted into you.

a/n: it was so hard to find an of age picture of him from the anime where he wasn't possessed by Kenjaku

Suguru Geto

is the type of man to, like his best friend-spoil you. always unprompted and at the least expected times

You were putting the girls to bed, walking out of their shared room to see your husband standing there. Raising a brow you walked over, hands snaking over your waist and pressing a kiss to temple. "My love" he mumbled against your skin, raising your hand and sliding a pretty little ring on your finger. One you distinctly remember fawning over last time you two had took the girls to the mall.

"Sugu-" you gasp, trying to remember if you had forgotten a date but he sushed you with a sweet kiss.

"Just wanted to spoil my pretty wife."

he's getting it tonight ong

Suguru Geto is the type of man to get baby fever and pester you, whining about how cute a baby that looked like the two of you would be.

"Babe." You groaned, seeing the notification that he had sent you yet another cute baby fever inspiring tiktok.

"What" He hummed all innocent from where he laid next to you in bed, your leg draped over one of his. "Just thought it was cute is all."

"Yeah, uh huh." You grumble, feeling the tug to want to have a baby filling you too as you watched a compilation of cute little baby sneezes.

"maybe a baby wouldn't be so bad...the girls want a baby siblings anywa-" he interrupts you with his mouth hungerly attacking yours, body pressed on top of yours.

He is the type of man to let you sit on his back while he does pushups, only if you ask nicely.

You sat in your home gym, watching you husband stretch his glorious mouthwatering muscles when he inevitably caught you staring. "see something you like, babydoll?" he teased, making your face warm.

"Maybe I do..." you trailed off, remembering something your friend said she did with her boyfriend at the time. "Can I sit on your back when you do push ups?"

he raised a brow, eyeing you before shrugging "If you ask nicely, I'll think about it."

"Please Sugu?" You hummed, batting your eyelashes.

And that's how you found yourself sitting on his back, feeling the same muscles you were drooling over flex and work under you. let's just say you were craving some other kind of workout...

he's the type of man that secretly enjoys domestic moments, it feeds the lighter side of his soul just right.

Nothing is better than walking into the house after a mission with Satoru and his partner to see his favorite girls snuggled up on the couch.

it was late, and the twins were passed out despite boasting they could stay up to see Suguru. You look over the two sleeping bodies of your babies and send your husband a small tired smile as he stalks over.

First he plants a kiss on the girls heads, before pressing one to your lips. "I'll help you get the girls to bed, then we cuddle, hm?"

Is the type of man to make you think he doesn't like physical affection as much as you do, but he goes feral for it.

"You know babe, you never really initiate contact all that much." you had told him one day, completely out of the blue as the two of you made breakfast together.

"You're the clingier one between us two." he teased back, shrugging in mock nonchalance.

You huff, a playful tease slipping past your lips "Fine then, I won't initiate it anymore."

he thinks he can last, that he won't care.

It takes all of two hours for him to be attached at your hips, hands squeezing and kneading your hips and thighs while he lips attack your neck...

Yuuta Okkotsu (aged up ver)

is the type of man to bend to your every whim; the word "no" is just not in his vocabulary when it comes to you.

"Baaaby" you drawl out, your draped across his chest, arms encircling his neck at about 2 in the morning. It's dark as hell in your shared room, and he only groans.

"Yes princess?" he mumbles, sleepiness evident in the way he was speaking.

" 'm hungry." you pout, tugging on his sleeve to get him awake "wanna get ice cream?"

He groans, the word "no" on the tip of his tongue, but once he cracks open a tired eye and sees you pouting at him, it dies and is instead replaced with an "of course princess, let me get changed." He slowly slides your body off his to get his wallet and pants.

He's the type of man that never lets you pay for a single thing ever, his bank account is yours to use.

You were shopping with a few friends, pulling Yuta around with you as you and your friends squealed to one another about cute clothes and the cute boys they saw. You mostly stayed quiet at that regard, fussing at your boyfriend for carrying your bags.

Your friends were slightly jealous, eyeing your free hands because their own partners couldn't come and hold their bags.

"Maybe some new shoes?" You asked your friends, nodding as you went in, tried some on, and decided on this pretty new sandals.

When you went to pay, Yuuta scoot in and gave them his card instead. You cooed, kissing his cheek "Yuu, you didn't have too!"

Your friends cooed too, making him blush and squirm. "Shhh, just let me pay."

Yuuta is the type of man to carry you because your heels hurt your feet-even after he warned you this would happen.

"Yuu baby." you pouted, shifting your weight to a different foot every other minute, the poor appendages throbbing as you took another step.

"Your heels hurting you baby?" He hummed softly, arms circling around your waist and lifting you up. The relief was almost instant, his other arm going to lift your legs.

"My princess needs carried hm?" he teased lightly, and you giggle while pressing your lips to his cheek.

"My knight in shining armor." You giggled, shaking your head. "What would I do without you?"

"Having to walk in heels I told you not to wear." He huffed back, still walking the path home. He laughed when you lightly hit his shoulder, pouting.

"Didn't have to say told you so!" you huff

The type of man that would absolutely punch someone in the face for bothering you. He may not look the part, but he is your scary dog privileges.

You and Yuuta had decided that going out to the local bar with your shared friends was a good idea, to celebrate a mission well done. You were sat up at the bar with Maki, while Yuuta and Toge sat at the table your group at previously claimed as your own when you all had entered.

There were some other college kids, already drunk off their asses when you had entered. They were a rowdy group, and the boys had their eyes on them the entire time.

As the two boys conversed, they had failed to see the boys make their way over to you and Maki.

"Hey beautifuls." one man slurred, throwing an arm around Maki while his friend stood awfully close to you. Maki was having none of it, shoving the man off her and grabbing your hand.

"Back off creeps." she hissed, clenching your hand in silent reassurance. The other man that had stood next to you put his hand on your thigh, making squeak out "I have a boyfriend!"

maki immediately looked over, ready to punch the guy for you when the sleeve of Yuuta's shirt appeared, his hand grabbing the collar of the guy.

"Hands. Off." he basically growled the words, and the man immediately backed off.

"S-Sorry man, thought she was single!" he yelped, both him and his friend scuttling off afer he let go and wrapped his arms around you.

"Let's head home baby." nodding to maki, he grabbed your hand and started leading you out.

The type of man to absolutely match with you. Whether it's phone cases, profile pictures, clothes, necklaces. He really doesn't care.

"hey Princess." he hummed, brushing against you in his matching shirt. It was cheesy, an "I <3 my girlfriend" t shirt while yours said "i <3 my boyfriend."

"hey bubs." you hum, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "What's up?"

"Just got you a lil something." pushing your hair back, he put a necklace on, clasped it, and let the chain fall against your neck.

Looking down with a furrowed brow, you let out a tiny giggle as the small silver name of "Yuuta" written in cursive shone dimly in the light.

"Have one of your name too. So we match." he almost giggled the words against your neck, and you sighed happily.

"So sweet for me baby, thank you." you really did love the gift.

Masamichi Yaga

is the type to keep your marriage a secret for your own safety...and conveniently forgetting to tell you about that little tidbit.

"Honey" You called as you entered through the front door of your shared house, giddy and excited to tell him about an encounter you had with a teacher at his school.

"Yeah?" he called back to you, sitting on the couch and fiddling with a new puppet, his eyes flicking up to you instead. Noticing your giddy smile, he tilted his head.

"You'll never believe who I saw when I was shopping!" You placed the bags down on the coffee table, putting off the task of putting them away for a moment. "Gojo! He was so sweet, i don't think he knew we were married."

"Oh, how silly of him." He had neglected to tell you that well...you were his well-kept little secret. No one knew about you but Panda, who was like a child to you despite his unique appearance.

"Mhm, but he invited me to see Panda train with the other second years, how nice!"

he nodded, a light scowl. "That's wonderful honey, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see you."

Gojo was going to be one hell of a headache.

Masamichi is the type of man to do all the chores you hate around the house, even if he doesn't like doing them either.

You had just gotten back from the school where your husband worked at, watching your son train with his other classmates when you hear the dishes clinking and Masa humming.

Walking into the kitchen, you had tilted your head as you saw your tall, muscular, rather intimidating husband putting away the now clean dishes.

"Masa baby?" You called out, a small smile on your face as you leaned on the wall. He let out a small hum of acknowledgement, waiting till he placed the last dish where it should be before turning to you and opening his arms for you.

You walked into them without a second thought, his thick arms wrapping around your waist. "Thought you didn't like unloading the dishwasher?" You hummed, looking up at him.

he simply shrugged his shoulders, lifting you up to place a kiss on your lips "Know you don't like doing it either, thought I might as well."

You coo at the thoughtful action, and placed a kiss on his cheek. "thank you my love."

He's the type to introduce you to every puppet, making sure they're nice and gentle with you every time.

"C'mere my love." he waved you over, you had just stepped out of the shower, hair wet against your back. You were dressed up in his shirt as you sat down on the bed next to him, curious.

Pleasantly, he showed you his newest creation. The puppet was small, the body of the puppet was your favorite color as it stared up at you from his hands.

"Awe, what a cutie." you cooed to the little thing, and it seemed to purr at your words, tumbling off his hand and into your lap to cuddle up.

He pouted, muttering a "traitor" before shaking his head "I think they like you more than me."

"Must have good taste then." you laughed lightly, scooping up the puppet and pressing a kiss to the top of it's head.

"Do I get a kiss?" he hummed, snuggling up to you just like his creation had.

"I suppose." You hummed, pressing a kiss to his lips only for the little puppet to punch the creation, almost pouting in your hands.

"Hey!" He huffed as your laughter broke the kiss, looking down at the small puppet like it stabbed him in the back.

He's the type to look so mean, but is so soft with you.

You were sat in the rocking chair stationed in your living room, some meaningless show playing on the flatscreen for ambience. You were knitting a scarf for Panda, the cold season approaching quickly. Which led you wanting to make some for his friends too, knowing Maki and Yuta couldn't have home knitted scarves to keep them warm when your husband burst in.

His head swiveled, trying to find you. You could hear the sigh he let out when he found you, sitting on the ground next to your legs. Placing a gentle kiss to your knee, he let out another sigh.

"Hello my darling." you spoke softly, placing down your knitting materials to rub his head. he hummed tiredly at the action, leaning into your touch. "Rough mission?"

he nodded, "But I'm home now."

"You're home." You assented sweetly as he laid his head against your leg.

"Now help me knit these scarves for Panda's friends."

He's the type of man to put a lot of importance on birthdays and anniversaries, always making sure he has a clear schedule for them.

You woke up to an empty bed, something that wasn't entirely unusual when it came to your husband. Though you felt a twinge of hurt, normally he was here.

Pulling yourself from the warmed sheets, you slipped on your house shoes and through on a robe, walking to the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast when hands went around your waist and spun.

"Happy birthday baby!" Masamichi cooed down to you, pressing a lasting kiss to you cheek because your mouth was too preoccupied giggling up a storm.

"Thought you went to work?" You spoke in-between your giggles, arms wrapping around his thick neck and pressing your own kiss to his cheek.

"And have you spend your birthday with just Panda? I could never my love." he peppered kisses against all the skin he could, shaking his head. "My pretty spouse deserves much better than that. Now c'mon, we're going out to breakfast."

All in all, these men are the type to love you so completely no matter what you look like <3

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userpeggycarter · 24 days

Text

i was requested by anon to make a tutorial for this gifset and here it is!

DIFFICULTY intermediate/difficult. basic giffing knowledge is definitely required.

while my gifset has a fair amount of animation, the only handmade animations can be found in the second and fifth gif. the rest are assets (the checkmarks, the sharpie circles) (either gifs or videos) i found on the internet and pasted over my gif.

THE BASICS OF TIMELINE GIFFING

if you gif with frames, you will need to use a timeline for the animation to work (keyframes). i’m a timeline giffer anyway so this was another Tuesday for me. if you never used that method of giffing, however, it can be confusing, especially if you never used a video editing software before (the timeline works like video editing).

so, here’s a breakdown of what is the timeline:

the player icons work like any video/music player in existence. ignore the volume icon.

the gear icon indicates the quality of the reproduction while editing it, not the quality of the end product. think like it’s Youtube reproduction settings on a video in order to save your 4G data, but with RAM power instead. this is very useful if your computer isn’t very powerful to begin with and gifs with VFX are very heavy to handle.

i always click the loop option inside the gear panel because i like to see how the gif will be viewed by the public, i find watching to play only once isn’t very productive. you can stop and restart the reproduction by pressing the space bar on your keyboard.

every layer of your PSD file will have its own bar. the length of the bar means the duration of the gif, so a longer bar means a longer gif and a shorter one, a shorter gif. for everything that isn’t your gif/screencap-based (ie, coloring, typography, lightning, shapes, etc) can be dragged by the extremities as much as you want, making the asset last as long as you want. the only layer that is limited by its maximum duration is naturally your gif, but you can also drag it to make it shorter.

you can also drag a whole layer bar by clicking it and dragging it, making the start and finishing point different from the rest. be careful while doing that otherwise you will end up with blank frames, messing up the looping of your gif completely.

there’s a needle you can drag across the timeline and it works just like on a vinyl disc, the moment the needle drops, it’s the moment/frame Photoshop will show you.

you can also trim your stuff by cutting and deleting snippets of the bar. for that, you will drag your needle to the desired moment, use the scissor tool and then press delete to erase the unwanted bit.

it’s important to point out that the timeline only allows 0.03x or 0.07px speed, no matter what the speed the gif was before converting to that method. if the original speed is closer to 0.03x, then PS will define the new speed as 0.03x. if it’s closer to 0.07x, then it’s 0.07x. i always change the speed to 0.03x before converting to timeline for the sake of not screwing stuff up, which means i see my gif looping while editing in a faster way than Tumblr users will see when the gifset is posted. this takes a while to adjust to if you’re new to timeline giffing, but eventually you don’t think it’s jarring anymore.

that also means you will need to correct the speed after your gif is completely finished. to do that, i use this action.

you can zoom in and zoom out using the little mountain sliding bar. this will be useful later in the tutorial.

if you zoom to the max, you will see all the numbers above your layer bar. these are time marks. the thing is, they seem a bit weird at first. the bigger numbers indicate SECONDS (01:00f, 02:00f, 03:00f, etc), while the smaller and repetitive numbers indicate frames (5f, 10f, 15f, 25f). that means that the smallest drag of your needle possible (from point A to point B) refers to an interval of 1 frame. you will need to take this into consideration while animating stuff.

you can color code your layers, if you think that makes it easier for you to see what you are doing. this is something i do, not only in Photoshop but every Adobe product with a timeline. to change the color of a layer bar (the default is purple), you can right-click on your layer in the layer panel and click the color you want. the colors are the very last thing in the list when you right-click it.

another organization tip is the use of folders. if you create a folder in the layers panel, a folder is created inside the timeline and any layer inside of that folder will disappear from the panel until you click the little arrow next to the name of the folder in the timeline panel. you can color code your folder as well, making every layer inside of it the same color or even different colors.

THE BASICS OF KEYFRAMES

every change related to any property selected (transformation, opacity, style, text warp, position of the layer mask, activation of the layer mask) will be computed in the exact moment in the gif you change it. if that doesn’t happen, you can force Photoshop to do it by clicking the small diamond next to the property name.

let’s say you want an animation to start 0.5 seconds after the gif starts, so you will drag your “needle” to 0.5 seconds and then make the change (making a text bigger, moving a shape, etc).

Photoshop will automatically bridge the gap between the state of the gif at 0 seconds and 0.5 seconds, thus animating your gif.

to start animating, you will need to click the little clock next to the property you want to animate. make sure you click the clock while your needle is at the exact beginning of the gif.

every change (keyframe) will be marked with a small diamond under the layer bar, at the exact moment you changed it. that means if you make jarring changes in a short amount of time/frames, the animation will be quick and abrupt. if the interval is very long, the animation will be slow and smooth.

the selected(s) keyframe(s) will have their diamond painted yellow, while the unselected ones will be grayed out.

you can right-click the diamonds to delete or copy them. if you have many diamonds and want to delete them all, you can click and drag to form a square and select all of them just like when you do to select many files at once on a PC folder. there’s also the option “select all” under the right-click panel.

you can also drag them and change their timing that way. if you have more than one diamond selected, if you drag them, their interval will remain the same, but the starting and finishing point of those two diamonds will change.

THE SQUARES BAR

the easiest of the two animations. this one doesn’t require keyframe animation, but i put this in the last bit of the tutorial for the sake of its flow.

first, i added the empty squares. they last as long as the gif lasts. after 6 frames, i added the first colored square and made that square last until the end of the gif. i repeated this in a staggered manner (+2 frames delay each colored square) so the colored squares appear at equal intervals.

THE STATS BAR

the most difficult of the two, but don’t worry, you got this.

first, you will need to structure your stats, ie, add the text, the dividing line and the pointed lines. that is, if you want to follow the exact design i used in my gif, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.

next, you will create rectangles that fill the entire stat bars. you will add a layer mask to each one of them and with a layer mask selected, select a rectangle about the size of your original rectangle, then paint it black. you will notice the original rectangle will disappear. if you delete the layer mask, the original rectangle will appear again. that is because you didn’t delete the original rectangle, you just hid it by using a layer mask.

there’s a chain icon between the layer and the layer mask in the layers panel, click it to unlink them.

click the clock next to “layer mask position” with your needle at 0 seconds/frames. drag your needle to the moment you want the stats to end and use the arrow keys to move the layer mask. you will notice the original rectangle will slowly be revealed by you moving the layer mask. you will also notice that a small diamond will appear in the “layer mask position” line in the timeline. you created a keyframe!

if you press play, you will see the animation from the bar going from null to full!

FURTHER READING/VIEWING

this tutorial uses layer mask animation to reveal text too!

a video tutorial for better visualization!

another keyframe tutorial, this time focusing on coloring!

if you still have any questions, feel free to contact me!

and if you (or anyone) else want, i can go in depth in animating each property, i just did a quick overview + explained the stats animation.

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1800-page-not-found · 1 year

Note

hello author (＾▽＾)

can I ask you to write vampire reader x human Yjh and Kdj relationship hc i thing it's would be interesting

HI!! THIS IS SUCH A CUTE RELATIONSHIP!

btw this is going to be a healthy relationship, im not a huge fan of writing toxic/abusive relationships ykyk

HELP I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU SAID HC AND IM ALREADY 3/4 IN WRITING EVERYTHING...ITS OK ILL JUST DO BOTH LMFAO

human yoo joonghyuk, kim dokja (separate) x vampire reader

summary: the awful sun...it burns! thus, your lover decides to (somehow) give you a coat that has sun resistance so you can finally step out.

Yoo Joonghyuk is a ruthless man. However, during his regressions, he came to find you, a vampire. And what was so interesting about you is that, you were a vampire before the apocalypse. At first he brought you along only because he found you useful. But then, when he was able to clear more and more scenarios with you, he started to develop these 'strange feelings' he calls them.

Being a vampire was a struggle for you. After all, there were so many people around you, it was hard to resist. you usually drank animal blood from the nearby butcher, but when the apocalypse hit, you lost your supply. But when you met him, Yoo Joonghyuk, everything changed.

Blood is like wine. The more it ages, the better it tastes. So, as a regressor, Yoo Joonghyuk's blood was amazing. Of course, he killed you the first few times he met you, but started warming up.

Now, as the relationship developed, and when you two started dating after, what, 7 regressions? Well, he realized it was hard for you to join him completing scenarios with your weakness of the sun.

He scoffed, "weak." he muttered under his breath as he turned away from you.

His actions were very different though. A week later, he brought a coat that looked almost identical to his, except in a beige color, and with different attributes. Yours made you gain sun resistance.

You cried when you stepped out in the sun, feeling warmth from the fiery ball for the first time. You hugged him dearly, thanking him over and over again.

Yoo Joonghyuk was shocked to say the least. As a man who's unfamiliar with such emotions, he awkwardly patted your back. He never realized how much this meant to you. After all, vampires have feelings to.

headcannons here

he definitely gets the coat first thing when he regresses

since the scent of blood is so strong to you, he will use his coat to wrap you up and calm you down

Where SP exists, YJH definitely gets jealous whenever SP gifts something to you at the exact time you need it.

ur blood bag, he volunteers

every time he regresses, its really weird

like just imagine some super over powered hot guy comes to you and says like-

"Let me be your blood bag i love you" or something LMAOOOO

Nah he wouldn't do that (he probably might)

It would be really awkward though because he'd try to like move the relationship really fast cuz he just wants to date you and hold hands and other lovey-dovey stuff

he's awkward in general

definitely has killed before to give you blood

brought back a bucket of blood once

you didn't drink it because like STDs yk

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kim Dokja was like a child asking Santa Claus questions about Christmas when he first met you (pre apocalypse btw). I mean, you're just like the characters in his favorite novel!

It was an accident when he found out. I mean its not normal seeing your co-worker drink animal blood and eat raw animal meat is it? And i mean... it was pretty odd everyday when you came to work all bundled up.

When the apocalypse hit, the two of you were both on the train/subway. You were breathing heavily, trying to control yourself. He gave his coat to you and put it on top of your head, blocking your vision. Few minuets later, he gave you a grasshopper to kill.

Later on, after he became 'Demon King of Salvation,' he met 'Mass Production Maker' at the Gourmet Association when they were viewing the scenario and talking.

(I cant remember all they way how Mass Production Maker acts fyi)

"Mass Production Maker sir, I'd like to ask for a favor." It was rare for someone like the Demon King of Salvation to ask for a favor, well unless it was you. "Oh? And what may someone like you ask for from an old man like me?" Mass Production Maker did not take his eyes off the scenario, but you could tell he was listening to the rather newly born constellation.

"There's someone very dear to me who needs a rather special coat...I know you don't really do commissions but-" The Mass Production Maker laughed an old hearty laugh. "My, my, what young love folks like you have! How enjoyable! I like you young man, make sure to stay loyal, I'll do it for free as you helped me earn so many coins from the bet!" (I think that's what happened if I remember correctly?)

-----

when you two finally met again, Kim Dokja wrapped you in a lovely beige coat, just like his. "What is this?" you asked curiously. "A coat for you to step out in the sun!" You gasped. "R-really?! I can finally go outside?.."

He nodded and dragged you right next to where the shadows met the sun. You stopped, nervous to if this would work or not. Kim Dokja turned around and held your face. "Hey..It's going to work, I promise." He assured you.

[The constellation, "Demonic Judge of Fire" squeals in happiness.]

[500 coins have been sponsored]

"Alright then..." You slowly stepped out in the sun, eyes shut as you waited to burn but-you didn't? You slowly opened your eyes, your senses feeling the warmth on your face. "I'm-I'm in the SUN!" You jumped and hugged Kim Dokja. "Thank you Thank you!" You cried, tears running down your face. You could finally feel the warmth you longed for with him under the sun.

Headcannons!!!!!

Likes to give you blood

wants you to just drink all of his blood, i mean its not like he can't revive

Flabbergasted when you cried when he was dead for 3 days

He likes to hug you because you're always cold (cuz ur a vampire...ykyk)

Had a HUGEEEEEEE cultural (or vampire) shock when you didn't bite his neck but his hand instead

and the silver thing

and garlic

becomes a huge vampire nerd

will correct people when they say something wrong about vampires

outsiders will think HE'S the vampire because of how much he talks about them

likes to be carried bridal style by you with your super strength vampire abilities

first time you two ate together at a restaurant when he knew you were a vampire, he asked for a raw slab of meat with lots of blood

the waiter looked at him weirdly

everyone in the restaurant stared at the two of you

you guys got banned from it

THE ENDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

#kim dokja x reader #kim dokja #x vampire reader #orv x reader #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #omniscient reader's viewpoint x reader #kdj #kdj x reader #yoo joonghyuk #yoo joonghyuk x reader #yjh x reader #yjh #manhwa x reader

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nalyra-dreaming · 1 year

Text

Let me use this opportunity of getting weird Loumand anons once more to say something that's been on my mind:

All the bad faith, passive aggressive anon asks (especially those wanting to make the "ships" about the fandom "shipping them" (or not) because of "color" and "racism") I see around piss me off sooooo much.

Lets look at the "ships" we have so far:

Loustat: difficult, at times toxic, later not so much, endgame

Loumand: difficult, at first infatuated, then dead, later healing

Lesmand: difficult, at times insane, obsessive in parts

Devil's Minion: difficult, intense, at times insane, obsessive in parts, endgame

What have all these "ships" in common?

They are canon relationships. And they are difficult.

Two of those are endgame.

Let's dive in (a bit).

Loustat:

At this point not much has to be said about why Loustat are toxic in parts, but that changes - their character journeys are inverted, and they are endgame. Two sides of the same coin. They are "petty and in love" as Jacob called it, and they are "it" for each other, for better or for worse.

Loumand:

Born from Lesmand actually, because Lestat goes to Armand to make him care for Louis (and for Armand's blood), which... works. But the initial infatuation phase, while honest on Louis' side, is based on Armand's fascination with him because of Lestat. He gaslights Louis into loving him. I bet they will be very much shown to be in love, and then the shit will hit the fan and then... Louis will be destroyed, for a long, long time. Qualifies as toxic for me, too, btw. The Loumand in later years, in Trinity Gate (or Dubai?) is a more healing one, one where Louis comes to terms with who he is and what he wants in safe, stable, loving surroundings. And I bet they are freaks in the sheets :P

Lesmand:

Obsessive, and while loving definitely more so from Armand's side than Lestat's. He "imprints" on Lestat when he sees him because Lestat reminds him of Marius, and a lot of Armand's actions are informed by his need for Lestat, and the fact that Lestat upends his world. That said, the fascination itself is mutual, and I bet the show will have them engage in a proper affair.

Devil's Minion:

Wohooo, Daniel, a gift from Louis for Armand!!! Armand shifts full on obsessive and love on Daniel, Daniel, who will become his only fledgling. (And who goes mad for a while, too!) The show has obviously expanded the journey, but I don't think it will change too much - Daniel is the only one Armand could not let die. Talk about love beyond reason or endurance.

ALL OF THESE SHIPS ARE RELATIONSHIPS IN THE VC.

YOU CANNOT PUT A VALIDATION BASED ON SKIN COLOR ON THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL VALID.

And they are canon.

Saying the fandom doesn't "ship" Loumand because of them being POC is just ludicrous.

If you think Louis in Dubai in season 1 is "happy" I don't know what to tell you. We haven't really seen "happy" Loumand yet, and, depending on how they spin it(!) we might not even see it in season 2, though I think they will make it seem as if it is happy and "pure" at first.

But they might throw in the horror of Claudia knowing (and she does, canonically, she tries to warn Louis!) and being ignored by Louis (failing her again) in - in fact, I take the little info of the scenes we have of Sam and Armand filming as precisely that, namely that they make it clear that there is a relationship there as well... and how that relationship enables Loumand.

And then Armand will kill Claudia. And Madeleine.

And Louis will stay with him.

Personally I found later Loumand always very healing, as said. (But, personally(!!!!!!), also a bit boring. I love them, but... writing them (i.e.) does not hold much appeal right now.

But that might change with the upcoming seasons!) But the Loumand in Paris?? Hell, that's not even real, Armand gaslights Louis into loving him, uses his spell gift and mind gift as influence, poor Louis. And it will hurt Louis, incredibly so.

Making it seem as if people, especially people with a background in the books, do not "ship" them because of the actors' skin color... is just...

There's many, many reasons to ship them.

There's many, many reasons not to.

I OBVIOUSLY cannot speak for everyone. But these simplified takes are becoming so tiresome, when there are so many other reasons that need to be considered.

And honestly, as said before, I fully expect parts of this fandom to turn on Armand when he is being himself, when his relationship to Lestat is becoming clear, when his meddling and role in Claudia's death are clear and... can you imagine the outcry when they actually kill off the black (likely) lesbian character and her lover. -.-

If they actually chop of Claudia's head on stage.

Mayhem.

Which brings me to the next part:

My predictions for season 2:

Louis hurting, seeing Lestat everywhere (outcry)

Loumand in love, oh so sweet, look at them

Claudia gets a girlfriend!! (Sweet!)

What is Lestat doing there? (outcry)

What, Armand is interested in Louis because of Lestat?? (outcry)

What, Louis is yearning for Lestat?? (outcry)

What, Armand is doing what to Claudia (and Madeleine)? "ThEy KiLl tHe gAys!!" ((outcry)

Armand throws Lestat off a tower (Meh, he deserved it, should have been much worse)

What, Louis stays with Armand?? (outcry)

Whatever will go on with Louis and Lestat (outcry)

At some point people will turn on Assad, I agree here with what has been said by others on this.

They could not separate Sam from Lestat, they will not do so for Assad, in fact THERE I can easily see it be much worse, because of the racial implications.

I can also see them turn on Jacob btw, because Louis stays with Armand. "How could he". -.-

So: Even if you are only a "show fan", if you have no idea of what the books might bring... the hiatus is still very long, and going and hating on people, accusing them of racism, because people who know the books go a bit bonkers when they see certain bts photos... is on you - not them.

These ships are all canon relationships.

And valid.

End of rant.

#amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #loustat #armand #loumand #the devil's minion #daniel molloy #devil's minion #lesmand #rant

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weightgainworld · 5 months

Text

Lack of visibility in the feederism community

I saw a Reddit post about a lack of people of color in the feedism community, and I realized I want to expand on what I had as a reply. The issue is not a lack of POC in the community. There are lots of black male and female feedees, but they are often overshadowed or ignored. This is something that is always an issue in society, but it is more noticeable here since this is a community where not fitting the standard can lead to hate or being cased to the side. If you do not know any feedee of color or any race besides the norm, then I highly suggest you look for some. I would provide some, cause I would genuinely love to promote them. However, I do not want to include anyone in a post where the message is a sensitive topic like this. I might not get any hate or objections for it, but rather not take the rest and send toxic people are creators. I am sure we have all seen that happen time and time again. On the topic of being ostracized for being different, even when you fit the standard, there are always people who make it difficult to identify yourself in this kink space without fear of doxing. I and many others do not show our faces because of that fear. It sucks, I hate it and wish it would change. Not only does it make the community look smaller than it might be, but it does not lead to people feeling like this is an exclusive safe space. I am a feeder and feedee, but as a feeder, me and others need to remember how lucky we are to be able to engage in this space so easily without even showing a picture of ourselves. You can encourage or tease anyone with relative ease with just your words. Even on video, you don't have to show your face to feed someone else. A feedee does not have the same luxuries. You can be seen as fake for not wanting to share yourself, not like there are bad actors who add to those issues. However, it feels like you can not truly be a part of this community as a feedee unless you are showing your belly. I love this community, but who can honestly feel 100% safe when massive issues are coming from people who do not respect boundaries and hate being told they are doing something wrong? It is embarrassing to hear people call themselves feeders, and more importantly, members of this community, while also driving others away just because they do not answer a message fast enough. Back on the topic of POC. If you want to see more people in this space, we as a community need to be more welcoming to them. Some people are trying to do their best to create that space, but as a whole, we are failing. If I told you to name an African American feedee, of any gender, most couldn't even come up with a name. When it comes to ones who are even popular, I know 1 and only 1 that I could even say is the stereotypical definition of popular. That is not good. I won't act like I have been doing anything to make the space any easier to be a part of. I am not making it worse obviously, but inaction is still action. I hope while reading this, everyone in this community can continue this long journey of making it a better more inclusive place. Also, doesn't matter what size, gender, or race you are, you are a feedee. If that message wasn't strong enough from the beginning. Nobody gets to take that title away from you just because you wanted to lose weight or stop posting. Even if you never posted a picture or video, you belong here too.

#feedeism #feedee/feeder

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hongcherry · 1 year

Text

seeking trouble || p.sh (m)

"Seonghwa entertains your need for a late-night rendezvous despite his better judgment."

🏍 Pairing: biker!Seonghwa x richGirl!Reader (afab)

🏍 Rating/Genres/AUs: M(18+); Smut, angst; light fluff; Bad boy/rich girl au, friends to lovers

🏍 Warnings: Reader referred to as "girl", pet names (pretty girl, princess, whore, baby), #teamseonghwa.... you'll see why 😪 | [smut] dirty talk, unprotected sex on his bike, one spank lol, 5 seconds of summer choking, creampie, orgasm denial, fingering, oral (f. rec.), degradation, seonghwa's gets a lil mean 🥹...lmk if i missed anything! ^-^

🏍 Word Count: 3.5k

🏍 Author's Note: I am shamelessly contributing to the biker!hwa agenda 🫡 And ofc for research purposes, I stared at the gif for a long while. Curse you Park Seonghwa *shakes fists in the air*

part two

ateez masterlist | main masterlist

The flickering street lamp casts an eerie glow on the man in the distance.

He sits half on his motorbike as he slips on a black glove. He pays no attention to the sounds your feet are making on the rough cement. He only looks up when you’re a foot away.

“Hey, pretty girl,” he smiles, leaning back slightly. The chains resting around his neck greet you with tinkling winks under the light.

“Hi, handsome,” you reply cheerfully.

Seonghwa drinks in your appearance. Your bright clothes are the polar opposite of his and the scenery around you. However, he expects nothing less from you.

His eyes lower until they spot your platform heels with fuzzy decor across the toe straps.

Seonghwa lets out a silent huff of air in amusement, one corner of his mouth lifting in a lopsided grin. He blinks once then his eyes are suddenly on you.

The action has you shifting your weight.

“Interesting choice,” he comments. They’re a little odd, but they’re growing on him as the seconds tick by.

“Cute, huh?” you ask, angling your foot to show off your shoe.

“Perhaps,” he murmurs, then picks up a spare jacket from the back of his motorbike. “But I’m not sure they’re appropriate for tonight.”

Seonghwa tosses you the jacket, and you catch it with ease. It’s similar to his, but the reddish-orange accent color swirls in a different pattern.

You put on the item as you reply, “I didn’t have enough time to change.”

“Your date lasted that long?”

“It wasn’t a date,” you sigh at having to repeat yourself from previous conversations.

“You got all dolled up for dinner with a man. Sounds like a date to me,” he explains.

You shake your head, walking toward his bike and gesturing for him to get on. He obeys languidly.

“I’m about to go for a late-night drive with a man. Is this a date then?” you ask and swing a leg over the seat.

Seonghwa hands you a helmet before putting his own on.

“You didn’t get dressed up for me,” he states while you slip on the helmet.

You don’t have time to reply because Seonghwa has revved up his bike. Seconds later, he is driving out of the abandoned parking lot.

You wrap your arms around his waist, the familiar feeling bringing comfort. You can smell his strong cologne and resist the urge to take a deep whiff.

Riding on Seonghwa’s motorbike has your heart soaring with happiness.

Your eyes close as you embrace the wind rushing past your body. The graceful way he swerves through traffic makes you feel like you’re dancing.

You’re tempted to outstretch your arms, but you recall Seonghwa’s nagging voice from the one time you did it in the past. You don’t know why he cared so much, but you figured he just didn’t want to be reliable for murdering the mayor’s daughter.

That definitely wouldn’t end well for him.

Thirty minutes pass until you reach your destination.

Seonghwa’s first to climb off his bike. He sets his helmet down before reaching out for your hands. He helps you off of the bike carefully, watching as you stumble and feeling you squeeze his hands.

Normally after rides, your legs feel a little like jelly. It’s become a habit for Seonghwa to hold you for support afterward.

“’m good now,” you giggle after a moment.

Seonghwa drops your hands and then takes a few steps to overlook the town. You quickly set your helmet by his before turning to watch him.

The area is just outside your town on top of a hill. You and Seonghwa had stumbled across the spot by accident a month ago, and it’s become your regular hang-out ever since.

The freedom you feel from being away from town makes you feel weightless. You’re not the mayor’s daughter here. You’re not required to go on “dates” to uphold your family’s reputation. You’re not told who you can and can’t see.

It’s liberating.

And addicting.

You step next to Seonghwa silently. The town’s lights look more beautiful from a distance. If you didn’t know better, you’d want to go back. But you know what awaits you at home.

“You ever have to sit in a car with a guy who smells like rotten fish?” you ask out of the blue.

Seonghwa’s not affected by your sudden outburst. He simply slides off his jacket before laying it on the ground. You expect him to sit on it, but he sits next to it.

You open your mouth to question him; however, when he gestures to the item, you understand.

You slowly lower yourself onto his jacket.

Seonghwa leans back on his hands, legs straight in front of him. He’s wearing a simple black tank top in the chilly night, but he’s not shivering.

“No, because he would’ve been kicked out,” he belatedly answers.

You smile and avert your gaze from him to the town.

“If only I could’ve done that,” you sigh.

“So, who was he this time?”

You groan at the memory. “One of the council’s sons. He’s, like, seven years younger, but of course, Daddy wants me to befriend all his friend's children.”

“Aren’t you a good little girl,” Seonghwa teases in a sing-song manner, coming close to your ear.

You scoff and shove at him. “I don’t want to be.”

“Hm,” he pauses in thought.

Seonghwa brings a hand to your chin, angling your face so you’re looking at him. You’re thankful for the moon that allows you to see his handsome features.

His voice drops an octave when he says, “You want to be a bad girl?”

Your heart races at his words. He somehow always has a way to get your blood pumping and mind whirling.

“Aren’t I always when I’m with you?” you reply with a subtle smirk.

Seonghwa chuckles lowly.

“Sneaking out, hanging around someone like me, engaging in inappropriate behavior,” he trails off, slowly leaning in until he’s guiding you back on the ground.

“Definitely a bad girl,” he concludes.

His lips are centimeters away from yours. He’s staring at you with an intensity only Seonghwa can create. It causes your insides to do somersaults; your heart beating irregularly.

You don’t like the feeling.

Needing some form of control, you push against his chest. He pulls away, but instead of leaving him be, you sit up with him and climb into his lap.

Seonghwa’s hands rest on your hips.

“Only for you,” you smile sweetly.

He raises an eyebrow. “I don’t think that’s true, princess.”

“Why is that?” you wonder, trailing your hands up his arms until they’re around his neck, inching yourself closer.

“You’ll crawl to anyone who gets you away from that town,” he replies. His hands rise to apply pressure against your lower back, pressing your chest against his. “I bet if you met Jongho before me, he’d be here with you instead.”

There’s truth to his answer.

Seonghwa’s your key to freedom. Without him, you’d be stuck in your overly big mansion—alone and unhappy.

But even though you saw him as a way to spread your wings at first, you started to want to spend nights with him for different reasons. Reasons you’ve been pushing down for a few weeks now. Reasons you’ll never admit to.

Reasons you want to forget.

“Then aren’t you lucky you paid for my meal when I forgot my money?” you say, leaning down to peck his pretty lips.

“Maybe you’re the lucky one since you followed me out like a lost puppy,” he grins. He glides his hands up and down your body lazily.

“I just wanted to thank you,” you argue.

“Wanna know what I think?”

“Trick question.”

“I think you thought I looked like trouble,” he answers anyway.

“Well, aren’t you?”

“If I wasn’t, you wouldn’t be here.”

“Enough talking, Hwa,” you sigh. “Let’s get into that trouble I’m looking for.”

“Don’t we always,” he murmurs before crashing his lips on yours.

You instantly swipe your tongue along his lower lip, encouraging him to deepen the kiss.

Seonghwa’s no stranger to your quick antics, so he moves his tongue to meet yours without hesitation. His hands trail to squeeze your breasts through your blouse, eliciting an approving hum from you.

Your back arches in his hands as you begin to roll your hips. Seonghwa’s deft fingers pinch your nipples through your shirt, and it’s not long until his mouth is peppering kisses along the swells of your breasts.

When you start sliding off the jacket you’re wearing, he stops you.

“Leave that on,” he instructs before lifting your top and pulling down one of your bra cups. His mouth connects with your nipple, giving it a few flicks of his tongue.

“It’d be easier if you let me take it off,” you say between moans.

Seonghwa pulls away from your chest; he stares at you while he thinks.

“Fine,” he agrees and helps you remove the item.

You’re quick to remove your blouse and bra completely. Goosebumps litter your body from the cold night, but you’re sure you won’t be chilly for long.

You’re about to remove Seonghwa’s top, but he grabs one of your hands to halt your movements. He retrieves the jacket and guides your arm through a sleeve. Your eyes narrow at him as you slip the clothing back over your body.

“Something about leather on me excites you?” you tease.

“It’s not the leather,” he murmurs.

You hope he’ll explain, but he simply kisses your breasts again.

He’s scattering kisses all over your skin, occasionally nipping it. While he picks up where he left off, you do the same.

Your hips begin to grind against his, basking in the feeling of your clit being brushed against his hardening cock. Your fingers find purchase in his hair as he switches to your other breast. When he grazes his teeth against your pebbled nipple, you tug on his hair and pull him away.

Your lips find his before he can speak a word. The kiss is brisk, mouths moving with feverish haste. You could kiss him all night if you could, but you want to spend your time doing something else.

Too eager to undress Seonghwa’s upper half, your hands unbuckle his belt. You break the kiss with heavy breaths and climb off his lap.

Both of you strip yourselves of your pants and underwear.

“You ever fuck someone on your bike?” you ask once you’re completely bare—except for Seonghwa’s jacket and your heels.

“No,” he answers simply.

“Can I be your first?” you smile and stand next to it.

“What makes you think I want you to contaminate my bike?”

You roll your eyes. “Haven’t you ever wanted to? Come on, Hwa. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought of it.”

“And how exactly are you going to balance on it?”

“Like this,” you instruct and slowly bend over it.

You keep your feet planted on the ground, hands gripping the side of the seat. You spread your legs slightly and wiggle your hips at him.

Seonghwa’s eyes are cast down between your legs. He can see how wet and ready you are.

Fuck.

He admits he has thought of it before…

“Stop thinking and just fuck me,” you sigh when he doesn’t move.

“I ought to gag you,” he growls as he comes up behind you. He removes his gloves and tosses them with the rest of the clothes on the ground.

“As if,” you smirk. “You love when I moan your name.”

Seonghwa doesn’t reply and instead lowers his mouth to your cunt.

You gasp when his tongue licks up your folds. He repeats himself a few times before diving his tongue in your core.

One of his hands wraps around your thigh to keep you balanced while the other toys with your clit.

Your body jerks at his touches. You rest the side of your face against the cushion seat, his name spilling from your parted lips.

“You’re right,” Seonghwa mumbles against your slickened folds. “I love hearing my name coming from your mouth.”

As if wishing to hear it again, he slides two fingers inside you.

“Fuck, Hwa,” you whimper at the way his digits stretch you out. Your hands clutch onto the seat as he pumps his fingers quickly.

You’re withering against his motorbike as he plays with your cunt. Your climax is building, but you don’t want to come around his fingers.

“Need your cock, Hwa,” you cry.

Seonghwa slows his movements.

“Need?” he chuckles. “My fingers aren’t enough for you, princess?”

You shake your head, trying to focus on his words rather than the slow glide of his fingers still inside you.

“Need my cock to stretch you out more?”

“Wanna be full of you. Please,” you whine.

Seonghwa scoffs and pulls his fingers away. He stands and presses himself against you. The feel of his heavy cock against your ass has you squeezing your legs.

He leans down so his face is closer to yours. The silver chains around his neck dangle downward, causing you to shiver at the feel of the cool metal. You angle your face slightly to see his eyes.

“Such a greedy little whore,” he chides.

His words should offend you, though all it does is turn you on more.

There’s a sassy comeback somewhere within you, but it doesn’t come to you quickly enough.

Seonghwa pulls away slightly and then slides into your drenched hole.

A gasp falls from your lips.

Seonghwa stills for a few seconds before moving in and out at a pace that’s not too slow, yet not too fast.

“You feel so good, baby,” he groans, thrusting roughly once before going back to his normal speed.

The sudden action has you cursing while you hold onto the bike as you’re lurched forward.

“Like that, Hwa,” you instruct.

Seonghwa smirks, running a hand down your spine before reeling it back and connecting it with your ass.

“You like being stuffed and taking it rough, hm? What else do you like?” he wonders. He pulls out until just the tip remains.

“When you do as you’re told without smart remarks like those,” you groan, sticking your ass out to push him back in. You’re buzzing with need and just need Seonghwa to give you what you want.

Seonghwa’s silent for a moment.

You begin to turn around, but he grabs your wrists and pulls you up. A hand snakes around to your throat while the other holds you tight around your tummy.

You moan when his cock slides all the way in due to his actions.

“Just for that,” he hisses in your ear, tightening his hold on your throat. “You don’t get to come.”

You don’t have a chance to argue with him before he starts snapping his hips.

Loud mewls, squelching, and skin slapping skin fill the empty area.

Your arms are trapped under his, though you’re still able to raise your hands to grab his forearm around your body. His grip around your throat loosens, but he keeps his hand there.

Seonghwa’s using your body like you’re nothing but his toy, slamming his cock deep into your walls and hitting that spot that makes you weak in the knees. His grunts behind you are low and guttural, making you even wetter.

His thrusts become sloppier as time goes on, and you know he’s not far from coming.

Seonghwa can also tell you’re close to your own release by the way you’re clenching around him. Usually, he’d go back on his words and let you dive into your pleasure, but he’s not feeling too nice tonight. Not when he knows he’s just a warm body for you to use to escape your wealthy world. Not when he knows he’s replaceable.

Not when his feelings are on the line.

So, instead of being a gentleman, he slams into you roughly—forcing you to bend over the bike as his cum shoots deep in your cunt.

Instead, he pulls out and starts to get dressed despite your pleas and whines.

Seonghwa watches you with heavy breaths. There’s a moral debate roaring inside him. Part of him wants to fall to his knees and devour you until you come on his tongue. The other part wants to leave you like that. Desperate and needing him to help you.

Desperate.

Needing him.

“You can’t be serious,” you whine, eyes wide in disbelief and fear that he might actually leave you like this.

He picks up his jacket, shaking off debris before shrugging it on.

“Get dressed or make yourself come,” he orders.

Your mouth drops open.

Never in your time knowing Seonghwa has he been this cruel. You know he’s not the most upright citizen, but this?

This is too much.

And you hate him for it.

Too close to your orgasm, you roll your eyes and start to prop a leg up when Seonghwa touches your back.

You eye him with the hope that he’s changed his mind; however, he simply pulls your back against his chest and hooks an arm under your knee. His other grips your hip—not even close to where you need him.

“Can’t send you back with bruises when you inevitably lose your balance,” he explains. “Go on, princess. Show me just how badly you wanted to come on my cock.”

You groan, wanting to pull away but knowing trying to balance yourself on his stupid bike would be a bad idea.

You reach back to grab his arm to steady yourself before you bring your other hand to circle your clit.

Your head lolls back against Seonghwa as you touch your aching pussy. Your fingers glide between your folds, silently cursing the man behind you when you feel his cum coat your digits.

His cum makes it easy for you to slip your fingers in your heat, and you close your eyes as you imagine it’s his fingers instead. The feeling isn’t nearly as satisfying as his fingers or cock, but you make it work.

Your body squirms as you finally orgasm, slumping against Seonghwa while you catch your breath.

Seonghwa smiles. “Feel good?”

“Fuck you,” you curse weakly.

“At least I gave you the opportunity to get yourself off here. I could’ve made you wait until you got home,” he says.

He doesn’t make an effort to move you—letting you regain your energy. At least, he’s not a complete asshole.

“Whatever,” you grumble.

You stay leaning against Seonghwa for a minute before moving away and getting dressed.

Seonghwa finishes getting dressed and is leaning against his bike when you’re done.

“Do you hate me or something?” you ask as you stand before him.

He tilts his head in confusion. “No?”

“Then why did you do that?” you scoff.

Seonghwa chuckles. “Because you should learn that your naughty mouth has consequences.”

He pushes away the underlying emotions that caused him to act like that. That’s something he can ponder over with a drink.

“You could’ve like,” you pause in thought, “given me the silent treatment instead.”

He smiles at you, finding your idea of punishment cute.

“The point of a punishment is for you to learn your lesson,” he explains.

Even though he’s right, you still pout.

“Come on, princess. We gotta get you home before—”

“Your bike turns into a pumpkin?”

“What?”

Seonghwa shakes his head, a small grin on his lips, and then offers you a helmet.

“You hungry?” he asks while you swing a leg over.

“A little,” you answer.

“Okay. I’ll stop by that one place before dropping you off,” he says.

“Thanks,” you murmur.

Nearly an hour later, you’re sneaking into your room, a takeout bag in hand.

You’re thankful your family members are deep sleepers. You’re not in the mood to confess all your sins to them at two in the morning.

As you’re munching on the food Seonghwa bought you, your mind wanders to the future.

At some point, you know something is going to have to change—whether that be by force or by choice.

Your family will never approve of Seonghwa. Sure, they may end up tolerating him, but that will take years, and even then, they’ll never truly accept him. Hell, they may even pay him to go away. That brings another thought to mind.

How much would it take for Seonghwa to leave you? Would it take much? Would it even be monetary?

You would hope he’d stick with you regardless of what they’d offer him, but you’re not sure.

Even with the looming possibility of your family discovering your secret rendezvous, there’s another issue at hand. One that’s more internal than the former.

One that involves your heart.

There’s only so much you can do and tell yourself that holds Seonghwa at arm's length. His world is so different from yours. Even if you could be with him, could you really handle it? You’ve never had to worry about money, a job, or chores. Being part of both worlds would be ideal, but you’re sure your family would disown you if you dated Seonghwa. Could you leave it all behind for something that may not last?

Both scenarios result in bad outcomes.

Although one of them is bound to happen, you don’t know which will come first.

A/N: Not sure if I wanna make a part two or let y'all use your imagination... 🤔

Edit: Here's part two 🤣

For my “shy/silent” readers, I’ve created a feedback form where you can share your thoughts on my fics in a more anonymous and private way. ^-^

©️hongcherry // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.

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iibonniee · 8 months

Text

A Quick Visit | Lee Minhyuk

Pairing: Lee Minhyuk x Reader

Genre: Smut, military!minhyuk

Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, oral (fem receiving), angst, fluff

Rating: R

Word Count: 12k

Summary: After hearing little from her lover, he decides to give her a late-night surprise. His promise to make it up to her kept her up through the night until she could confront him in the morning.

Masterlist

It never dawned on Y/N that a lover could become a stranger just as quickly as a friend could become a stranger. Whenever distance was thrown into the mix, schedules often became too busy to keep up with simple things, such as a text back.

This fact hung heavily on Y/N’s heart as Minhyuk’s enlistment approached. Her world was suspended, dangerously swinging between past warmth and future uncertainty. The impending distance, the changing schedules, and the quiet unease that unfolded in her thoughts were a recipe for feared isolation.

Minhyuk, however, was well aware of the turbulence shaking her spirit. He could see the pain reflected in her eyes, hear the worry lacing her laughter, and sense the tension in her every touch. So, with a heart full of assurance and lips armed with loving words, he chose to bring her comfort.

“Listen,” he would gently coax, cradling her face in his steady hands, urging her eyes to lock with his. “We’ve weathered more than distance before,” he would assert, his gaze steady, voice firm yet soothing. “Our connection isn’t just measured in miles or minutes; it’s held together by something stronger, something untouchable - our love.”

His words, his steadfast belief in their unbreakable bond, were a bandage for her fears. The understanding in his eyes, his unwavering confidence in their relationship gave her a sense of peace that the tickling hands of worry struggled to displace.

She never felt wrong in her life.

As the cold dawn of Minhyuk’s enlistment day dawned, Y/N found herself standing alongside the other members of his group, their collective grief palpable in the heavy air. The sun shining above them gave her no warmth — one she needed so much but refused to offer such grace.

The stark reality of their possibly changing relationship weighed heavily on her, feeling more real and definite than any of his soothing words of assurance. Minhyuk’s farewell was marked by a kiss. Their lips met in a fragile dance, full of promise but underscored by the bitter pang of impending separation. A promise pronounced in whispers followed that emotional kiss.

“I will message and call whenever I can,” he promised, his voice as steady as the heartbeat Y/N felt against his chest. “You will be the first person to hear from me.”

He’d text and call when he could, semi-keeping to a promise he had sealed off with a kiss. Slowly, those texts and calls grew to almost nothing; his voice on the other end turned from highly expected music into hope. His silence roared louder than the busy chaos of the world and bustling city life, reminding her each day of the gaping distance between them. The absent hum of his voice in the echo of their shared home was a cruel reminder of his unkept promise.

His empty assurances seemed like beautiful lies that momentarily conjured an illusion of hope. Realization washed over her in waves, each more painful than the last. The familiar tang of disappointment filled her mouth, more bitter than any foreboding doubt she had ever held. Despite his comforting words and promises, it seemed she had misplaced her trust. It was a harsh lesson in reality, and Y/N couldn’t help but feel betrayed by the gap between Minhyuk’s words and his actions.

She tried to ignore how her heart broke when she heard of his first appearance since he enlisted. How her teary eyes that begged to burst would only lead to a shaky blur of colors on her phone screen, a nightmare unfolding in high definition. Seeing him as she did, standing in the middle of his adoring crowd, the same fans who were now privileged to his time and attention, while she, the keeper of his whispered dreams and knelt promises, was left to glean his whereabouts from impersonal news updates.

His oblivious smiles and joy were like perfectly timed daggers to her bleeding heart, each moment of rich laughter and vivid enjoyment amplifying her agony. The jarring contrast between the joyous Minhyuk in the photos and the silent Minhyuk in her messages was a brutal, unvoiced slap of betrayal.

Her hands quivered, the phone screen dancing dangerously under wet eyelashes as her promised-to-be-steadied heart clattered down an abyss, fragmenting with every bump of the descent. His absence had been a lingering wound, raw and tender. Still, his blatant disregard — veiled under joyous fancon celebrations — was an insidious poison, slowly dulling her senses until only anguish echoed in hollow places.

Each image of a laughing Minhyuk, each snippet of his well-chosen remarks were hideous amplifications of his silence towards her. The vacant space she had reserved for his communication, his comforting words had now become a desolate island of unvoiced sorrows, painfully reflecting his undelivered promises. Yet, his presence and joy elsewhere signaled that he held time — time that he chose not to share with her, time that she desperately wished to be a part of.

The added knowledge that he held free hours unspoken to her carved the wound deeper, sparking an anguish that scorched through her veins, branding her heart with the bitter aftertaste of betrayal. She had believed they shared a common longing in his silence, but he had etched a cavernous rift between them in his actions. The stark revelation shattered her hope, leaving her grappling with the shards of her trust and their shattered relationship.

That night, the moon was her helping friend. Keeping her company where her heart didn’t. Her mind was a mess of self-hatred and self-doubt mixed into one grueling nightmare that refused to let her sleep. The silence of their apartment, once filled with his laughter and murmurs of love, was now a grim orchestra of her sobs and whispered grievances. The eerie glow of the moonlight, seeping softly through the cracks of the blinds, became the sole witness of her despair, casting long, lonely shadows around the room. Another source that seemed to show her unsaid words of pity.

She contemplated calling off work, giving in to the relentless pain that coursed through her, but the thought of being alone in the apartment that echoed his absence was overwhelming. The thought of the empty silence reminded her unbearably of his quiet disregard for their shared dreams, reflecting their empty relationship.

As the dawn approached, she decided to face the world outside - not for the sake of carrying out her tasks but as a refuge from the solitude. The tiny computer screen at her desk at work was a less painful alternative to the daunting emptiness of the apartment.

Walking through the doors of her workplace, she found comfort not in the friendly greetings from her colleagues nor in the mundane tasks that filled her day but in the sheer act of survival. Each passing hour was a bitter testament to her crumbling heart bearing the weight of his betrayal, a reminder that despite the sorrowful echo in the hollow spaces of her soul, she could — and would — move on.

Her heart – the thing that had dealt the most pain – would never listen to the silly things her brain would tell her. Not even when his groupmates would message her, asking her if he stopped by to say hello and that they missed her and to never be afraid to reach out to them.

“No.” She wanted to so desperately write back. “No, he didn’t come by to see me. How does it feel knowing that he chose you guys over me? How does it feel knowing that my heart is tearing itself apart because he would rather not talk to me but would spend his free time being with you guys?”

But as much as her heart was breaking and everything inside of her was holding back, the tears that felt like one wrong push would completely throw her over the edge.

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks!” That was all she messaged back before turning her phone off when she noticed her messages were still set to deliver.

Tucking the small device back into her pocket, she offered a strained smile to the coworkers passing by her desk. Every tick of the clock marked another second she was away from the eerie silence of their shared apartment. Each passing moment of the day distracted her mind just enough to keep the tears she’d been holding back from spilling over the edge.

She couldn’t help but cast furtive glances at the phone she had taken out of her pocket for momentary relief, half-dreading and half-hoping for a message from him. But with every passing hour, the anticipation dissolved into disappointment, each confirmation that he still hadn’t reached out to her stinging like a fresh cut on an old wound.

In an office filled with people, conversation, and the hum of life, her solitude never felt more profound. As the day wore on, a sense of dread seeped into her heart. It wasn't the dread of heartbreak, however, but the dread of having to return to an empty home, knowing that she'd be greeted by nothing more than the echoing silence of his absence and perhaps the bitterness along with the shadow of what used to be happiness.

As nightfall approached, she steeled herself. Bracing herself for the long night ahead, she cast one last glance at her silent phone, let out a soft sigh, and began her reluctant journey back home to the ghost of her lover.

The journey back was a blur, a haze of city lights blending with the memory of his smile. As she unlocked the door to their shared apartment, she found herself hoping against hope that he'd be there. Every creak of the wooden floor, every shadow cast by the dim hallway light, echoed a faint possibility of his presence lurking in some corner – a hush greeting, a cozy comfort.

However, the reality was rather stark. The apartment greeted her with a cold emptiness, an echoing silence that amplified the loneliness. The couch lay bereft of his rumpled form, the kitchen devoid of his lingering warmth, and the bedroom mocked her with his untouched side of the bed. She peeked into rooms filled with his absence, her expectations crumbling into an overwhelming sense of despair.

Every nook, cranny, and piece of furniture they'd picked out together now held the aftertaste of his memory. The laughter, shared dreams, and cozy movie nights hung around the apartment like ghostly shadows, a poignant contrast to the present reality. Echoes of their love story played out in painful silence as she navigated her way through the house, a creeping dread settling in her heart with every step.

She would have to face yet another night of longing, another night of silent tears, another night of yearning for a presence long gone. Another night of learning to unlove the ghost of her lover on her own. Yet, she held on, dreading the solitude but embracing it as well, because it was in this solitude that she realized her strength, found the ability to stand amidst the ruins of her heart, and still hope for a better tomorrow.

Navigating her way through the dimly lit apartment felt like exploring a forgotten, treasured moment of the past. The remnants of shared life still clung to the subtlest corners of the house – the picture frames capturing their warm smiles, the hand-picked furniture that had held their shared dreams, the cozy spots touch-marked by their settled bodies during movie nights. All were silent spectators to the drama of absence that unfolded in front of her, each object a trigger to a memory, each memory a knife twisting deeper into her heart.

Her footsteps took her to the door of an old, rarely-used room. A stab of pain hit her as she stepped inside his painting room. The scent of paint and turpentine, the hastily wiped brushes, and the blank canvas on the easel mocked her with their lifeless silence. His room, a sanctuary once filled with vibrant life and color with the mix of laughter and happy cries, was now a tangible echo of his absence. She froze, taking in all the painful details, her heart heavy with the cruel reality mirrored in the lifeless brushes and color tubes.

With a sigh, she turned away from the room, her heart aching with a longing she could no longer quench. Navigating her way through the rest of the house was a bleak journey. Hints of the love they once shared haunted her steps, whispering the past into her ears with every soft creak of the wooden floor.

Wrapped in the solitude of their shared memories, she finally climbed into bed. The room, still bearing the faint residue of his scent, enveloped her in its cold embrace. Alone in the vast expanse of the bed they once shared, she felt the full force of his absence. But amidst this profound loneliness, she found a fragment of her fading strength — a resilience defying the melancholy of the deserted space.

In the hushed serenity of the night, the soft glow of the moon cast a gentle light on her slumbering form. Still lost in her dreams, a faint trail of affectionate kisses began to awaken her from the deep realm of sleep. The delicate pecks started from the shell of her ear, feather-light as they gently traced the curve of her neck and danced down her bare back. Each slight touch, though subtle, stirred her slowly from her peaceful slumber, sparking a soft, pleasing tingle on her skin. A quiet smile graced her lips as she was softly drawn back to consciousness, the hushed whispers of the night broken only by the beat of her quickening heart — a rhythmic replacement for the silence of her once-shared apartment.

The more she was pulled from her dreams, the more aware she became. The soft kisses she had started to welcome soon had her body jerking away in panic, her heart racing as she almost allowed herself to fall victim to whoever decided to break into her home while the night was probably still young. She was more awake as the white sheets gripped her body as she scooted further from the unknown figure.

The figure was silent and hunched over. The silence that filled the room only caused her more panic as she tried to shuffle away more and more, only to be stopped the moment the figure snapped out of the shock they were in and began to blindly reach out for her.

“Relax.” The voice spoke, grabbing her arm and pulling her closer. The more she struggled, the more the figure held onto her tighter. “Baby, relax.”

His voice was a warm contrast to the hostile atmosphere, carrying a soothing yet firm tone that seeped into her panic-stricken senses. It triggered a quick flash of recognition, causing her racing heart to skip a beat. She squinted, just catching the outline of a familiar frame bathed in the weak moonlight, and the tension in her body somewhat abated.

It was him. The figure she had been dreading becoming a stranger. Suddenly, the intruder was no more. It was him — her partner, her lover — whose absence had begun redefining their shared space’s silence.

His hand was warm, and his grip was gentle yet reassuring. The circles he absently traced on her forearm coaxed soothing waves across her agitated frame. The familiar whispery rasp that her ears cherished, the same voice she hadn’t heard in weeks. It was back, drizzling over the tense room.

The fog of panic slowly lifted as the realization settled — he was home. Her heart rate decelerated, the drumming against her ribs fading to a soft thump. She felt a hint of wetness tracing the curve of her cheek — tears, relief, or pent frustrations, she couldn’t tell.

A soft sigh escaped him, the quietest apology. He still held her closer, his grasp a desperate attempt to anchor themselves against the tide of emotions threatening to unchain. Even a slight parting, and they could be swept away back into those weeks of silence.

“Welcome home…” She mumbled faintly, her voice cloaked in relief. As he muttered a quiet “sorry,” they began to mend the silence of her once lonely apartment, filling it with breaths of a shared life. She began to blink, a frown spreading across her face as she had almost wanted to attack him. As she sat there in silence, she began to scowl at the unplanned entrance her lover made.

“I missed you.” He mumbled, his lips kissing the inside of her palm. With the light from the moon, she could tell that her lover was still dressed in his military uniform, no doubt just coming from his base. “I needed to see you; I need you. Please tell me you need me too and missed me as much as I missed you.”

His words were muffled as he continued to kiss her. They were laced with desperation as he moved onto the bed. She could barely see how his eyes flicked up to meet hers, desperation mixed with his beautiful brown eyes.

“Have you been behaving?” He was quick to ask, seemingly uncaring if she had answered him or not. His fingers were quick to rip the sheet away, and a deep-throated groan emitted from his throat as he enjoyed the lack of clothes she presented for him.

His hands moved wherever they could attach, squeezing and teasing her skin as they traveled down her body - from her collarbones to her breasts, down to the curve of her hips. The touch was familiar yet different, carrying an alien edge in its urgency, sending a flurry of mixed emotions through her.

Having caught her breath, she managed to choke out a shaky “yes” while fighting a fresh wave of panic. She was no longer sure if it was fear or something else entirely - a lingering sense of longing, perhaps.

He huffed, the hint of a smile barely visible in the dim moonlight. “That’s my good girl,” he murmured, sending waves of electricity down her spine. His fingers traced along the curve of her hips, the touch almost agonizingly slow. It was a reminder, a homecoming, and despite the onslaught of fear and confusion, a part of her relished it.

However, a significant part of her shivered under the unexpected strangeness of his touch. Something had changed either in him or in their once-shared intimacy. Whether it was just weeks of silence from him or how much she had missed his touch. She wasn’t sure what felt so different.

The silence that had vaguely started weaving around them was now a tangible bowl of questions and insecurities, a scenario she dreaded to unravel. Five months of almost nothing, often barely a greeting other than a simple message, and her only updates often being from social media, had her hesitating.

Her hand caught his, forcing him to halt his exploration. Even in the dim light, his eyes held her gaze, silently asking for an explanation. It was a moment of vulnerable truth they had to face now - their love, their bond kept under the magnifying glass, exposed and examined. The silent echoes of their once-shared apartment now called for answers, and she hoped they had them.

“You never told me you were coming home.” She whispered, her eyes never leaving his own as his shoulders fell in slight defeat. “You hardly message me. You never came to visit me when you were able to…”

“I wanted to surprise you,” He began, moving closer to her once more to kiss the corner of her lip, “Are you unhappy to see me, my love?” He pushed, “Have you not missed me as much as I missed you? Baby, I’m ready to explode. I need you. I’m so needy. I can’t wait. I need you. I need to be inside you. I want to taste you again. I fucking need you. Let me make up for lost time. For not visiting you when I could, please…”

Her eyes observed his movements. Her gasp was loud as he pulled her body down and forced her legs around his waist, allowing his hard-on to brush against her exposed cunt.

“Let me taste you, baby,” Minhyuk whined, waiting for her answer.

His begging eyes held a dark promise, a sinful invitation that she found impossible to resist. She gently caressed his face, a slight smirk gracing her lips.

“Alright, love,” she eventually conceded, her tone laced with suspense. Her heart pounded as a flare of anticipation passed between them.

Minhyuk’s eyes sparked with victory and desire. He bent his head downwards, his husky voice whispering promises of pleasure as he began his descent, further trailing his hands down her body, elevating their intimate dance to a symphony of tantalizing sensations. This, she realized belatedly, was the intoxicating blend of lust and love - an enticing whirlpool of desire and fulfillment - sinfully smutty yet unbelievably romantic.

He wasted no time sliding down the bed until his eyes met her needy cunt. His lips parted as he reveled at the sight, his breath hitching in anticipation.

“So beautiful…” he muttered, his husky voice like warm velvet against her skin. His thumb gently teased her clit, causing her to gasp at the sudden sensation. A wicked smile curved on his lips, hearing her sweet whimper.

“Minhyuk…” she breathed, her voice barely audible under the storm of her desire. He looked up, his gaze holding a fiery promise.

His tongue traced a languid path from her entrance up to her clit, eliciting a sharp gasp from her. A triumphant hum came from him, adding extra sensation to her already sensory build-up. He lavished his attention, alternating between a slow lick and a quick flick, building her anticipation and desire to an excruciating peak.

“Don’t rush, love…” he murmured against her heated core, intoning sinful promise. His aroused gaze met hers, his hands keeping her steady as she writhed under him, futilely trying to get more friction. He chuckled, the sound vibrating delectably against her, sending spasms of pleasure through her. He relished her taste, appreciating their intimacy and closeness, entirely giving himself to her pleasure. He loved to tremendously arouse her longing, driving her to the sweet edge of ecstasy. “Just let it happen naturally…” He whispered darkly, resuming his torturous pace. “I’ll have you cumming in my mouth soon enough. I’ll take care of you.”

“Minhyuk…” she whimpered out, every cell in her body reaching out for his touch. Her legs trembled around him as minutes stretched into an eternity, proving his promise true. Her fingers gripped tighter at the sheets, her breath ragged and hitched in anticipation.

Every sensation was amplified, magnified by the intimate patience with which he worshipped her. The sound of his name on her lips was a sweet symphony to his ears, a clear sign of her impending release. He continued his skillful play, his tongue against her heat, his breath fanning over her wetness, fueling her desire further.

Her hips rolled up, meeting his lips in a desperate plea, and her body quivered, a clear sign of her impending climax. At her first spasm, he pulled back just slightly, only to dive back in, latching his mouth over her clit and sucking gently. The wave came crashing down, her body convulsing under the influence of a mind-numbing orgasm ripping through her. He held her close, his mouth still busied with drawing out all of her pleasure till her high receded, and she lay panting and spent, the taste of her climax still fresh on his lips.

“I told you, love,” he murmured against her oversensitive skin, his voice muffled by her thigh. His words were punctuated with a final, gentle lick as she shuddered again, a soft sigh escaping her lips. Their eyes met, his holding a promise of more to come as she rode the waves of satisfaction washing over her. “I’ve got you.”

Kissing her thighs, Minhyuk left open-mouth kisses all over her stomach and neck until his lips found hers once again. The kiss was impatient and greedy. Y/N knew her lover was close to breaking, and he would no longer wait for his own release.

“I’m done waiting.” He mumbled as he began undoing his pants. “I need you so fucking badly. Can your cunt handle me, baby?”

He watched as she nodded her head eagerly.

“You sure?” He teased, determination lacing his voice. His eyes were filled with fiery intensity and primal hunger that she found intoxicating.

“Yes.” She gasped out, her voice barely audible.

With an approving grunt, he shed his clothes remaining, revealing his arousal in its full hardness. His eye glistened with lust as he ran his fingers through her slick folds, collecting her excitement before smoothing it on himself.

Positioning himself at her entrance, he locked his gaze with hers. This act wasn’t just about penetration; it meant more than that. It mirrored the depth of their desires, the yearning they carried for each other within their hearts.

Slowly, he began his descent into her, finding her wet and ready for him. A tempting purr escaped her at his initial thrust, causing him to twitch within her. “God, you’re so tight.”

With that said, he began to move deeper into her, each thrust showing his intense need. He was slow, then fast - every push and pull creating waves of pleasure rippling through their bodies. Her eyes rolled back as an uncontrollable moan escaped her lips, fingers clutching onto his back as they rhythmically moved as one.

His name was a plead, a whisper, and then a scream that sounded with the collision of their bodies - a sweet harmony to their undying chorus of love and lust.

Their room flooded with sounds of their wild abandonment, gasps, and whispers of their names. He loved every reaction she gave with his deep thrusts into her, the way she arched her body, meeting his. Each grunt and moan they shared in their intimate congress was a reminder of the passion that had bound them together.

And just as the crescendo of their communion was about to be reached, he positioned himself even deeper, looking into her eyes as he thrust hard one last time. A loud cry escaped her lips, her body tensing and convulsing as he followed shortly after, their releases mingling together in a decadent tapestry of absolute, raw, sexual bliss.

All that was left was silence, save for their ragged breaths in unison, the only evidence of passion played out just moments ago, a symphony of their love and lust. He gazed at her, sweat-soaked and satisfied.

“I love you.” He whispered, kissing her deeply. “I love you, I love you. Fuck, I missed you. I miss seeing you every single day. I fucking miss you, baby. I’m going crazy without you.”

His words were like silent chants as his fingers found her own. She observed her lover carefully. Each word of praise and compliments felt like kisses to her body. She heard him sniffle, his head falling down in defeat, but she felt his warm tears kiss her skin.

“Min…” Her words were soft as she cupped his face. The moonlight didn’t hide his red face as he cried. “I’m here.”

She watched as he fell beside her, his head finding comfort on her chest as he cried silently. He was weak and vulnerable. All she could do was hold him close and remind him that even though his time was limited with her, she’d value all time with him.

Kissing the crown of his head, she whispered soothing words, threading her fingers through his hair until his sobs subsided, an unspoken promise to weather the storm together hanging between them. This newfound reality was a cruel one, yet she held on because love, she knew, transcended the limitations of time.

That night, sleep evaded her. She watched him eventually succumb to slumber, his body heavily sunk against her as if seeking refuge from the inevitable. Suddenly, the night seemed longer, each tick of the clock echoing ominously in the dimmed room. Her eyes gazed outside the window, tracing the stars in a futile attempt to find guidance in their ancient twinkling light.

The next morning dawned, bringing with it the familiar blush of an early sunrise. In the soft, warm glow, his face was serene, oblivious to the anger and unfairness of their situation.

Sorrow washed over her as she slipped out of his hold. She cloaked herself in this brief solitude, allowing the tears to flow in quiet rebellion against the day that promised to chip away a piece of their borrowed time. The typical morning noises - birdsong, the hum of distant traffic sounded surprisingly devoid of joy.

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air in the kitchen, battling her welling despair with its familiar comfort. As she prepared breakfast, she fought back the lump in her throat. The simple act spoke volumes of her unvoiced fears and hidden hopes, a poignant symbol of unsaid declarations.

However, with each passing second, anger slowly filled her body and pushed away the sadness that crept up. She blinked away the tears, hating how the new ones were replaced with angry ones. She hated how easily she fell for his apology. How he left her without much for months on end and decided he’d instead not visit her while he could.

Her inhale was shaky, and the countertop was cold beneath her hands, a silent pillar of support. Her mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and distractions, all dangerously teetering on the precipice of weariness that slowly invaded her soul due to lack of sleep.

Before she could brace herself, she heard movement behind her. Minhyuk was awake. She turned to see his sleep-ruffled hair as he blinked away sleep’s haze.

“Why are you up so early?” He asked, a veneer of casualness looming over his curiosity. She watched as he held out his hand, an invite he’d hoped she’d take. “Come back to bed. We can worry about breakfast later.”

Her heart pounded, a drumbeat loud in her ears. Taking a deep breath, she finally voiced out the thought that had been gnawing at her since the night before. “We need to talk about how you barely keep in contact.”

Minhyuk froze, his eyes wide open in surprise. The silence that enveloped them was deafening, amplifying the harsh reality of her words. She locked eyes with Minhyuk, whose confusion slowly fell away to be replaced with a flicker of understanding and then guilt.

“Why didn’t you keep in touch?” she asked quietly, the weight of that seemingly simple question filling up the space between them. Each word echoed around in their shared silence, a stark indictment of his absence.

“But I…” he began, stumbling over his words, lost for justification. She stood firm, her resolve unwavering. This was a conversation that had been overdue, a piece of their shared reality that had to be addressed. Through her weariness, she found the strength—and anguished determination—to face him and demand answers, even if they promised to unravel the delicate ambiance of their morning. “I’m sorry.”

She watched as the walls around her lover caved in. His eyes looked away from her own, fresh tears prickling away and wishing to fall when given the right time. She knew she had backed him into a corner he didn’t want to be in. But that’s how she felt when he greeted her with nothing.

Minhyuk gulped, visibly struggling with words. “I… I didn’t want my absence to hurt you.” His attempt at explanation seemed to hang in the air, a feeble defense against her palpable anguish. “Fuck – that’s not an excuse, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“But it did hurt, Minhyuk,” she replied, trembling. “It hurt because you were not here. Because you chose to hide from me instead of talking to me. It felt like I was trying to talk to a ghost.”

His gaze fell to the floor, unable to meet the raw hurt in her eyes. The silence grew more poignant between them, the air filled with unthinkable pain and regret. His silence only spurred the sense of sadness, of betrayal that was bubbling within her.

“Why Minhyuk?” She asked again, her voice barely a whisper but carrying a weight that suddenly seemed too heavy to bear. His silence was answer enough. It echoed the months of lonely nights and fearful days, the unattended messages, the unanswered calls, the unsaid words that should have bridged their distance but instead widened it.

Minhyuk drew in a shaky breath, tears and regret moistening his eyes. He opened his mouth, finally ready to answer, willing to brave the storm of emotions threatening to drown them both. Their borrowed time was ticking away just as their challenging conversation was only getting started.

“I was scared. I… It’s not like I’m away on tour. This is different for both of us. I’m trying, but I’m scared you won’t wait for me,” Minhyuk confessed, his voice echoing vulnerability and fear.

“And that’s why you chose to distance yourself?” she asked, her tone laced with bitterness. “You made the choice for me? You decided I wouldn’t wait without even giving me a chance to decide for myself?”

He looked flustered, a shadow of his usually confident self. “I… I guess I did. I was just trying to protect you, to protect us,” he stammered.

She gave a hollow laugh. “And look how well that turned out.” Her sarcasm was a bitter pill, a harsh realization of their predicament. She breathed deeply, “We weather what comes together, Minhyuk. That’s what love is. You don’t get to decide what I can and cannot handle.”

His gaze met hers once more, tear-streaked but resolute. Silence enveloped them again, but this time, it wasn’t one of confusion or guilt but of understanding and, hopefully, resolve for better communication in their uncertain future.

“How fucking dare you?” She hissed, pointing at him as angered tears brimmed her eyes, “How dare you walk in here and think that just because you fucked me that I’d forgive you? That it would make anything okay? Minhyuk, I waited for you! Months and months! All I got from you were twice-a-week texts when I was lucky and videos of you attending the boy’s concert. How is it okay for me to see you on social media but not in person? Not until last night when you were too horny to control yourself. To actually wake me up like a normal person would.”

She watched as Minhyuk stood there, listening to her anger-filled words. There was a mix of emotions in his eyes - regret, self-reproach, and a deep-seated sadness. He appeared as if her words had physically pained him, but he made no move to defend himself. Instead, he stood there, absorbing each painful accusation, each sniffle, each tear that slipped from her eyes.

Minhyuk raised a shaky hand to his face, brushing away a stray tear from his eye. He watched her momentarily - the woman he claimed to love, yet unintentionally hurt. The silence settled around them, filling the room with tension and desolation.

“We knew from the start, Y/N, it was going to be hard juggling both my career and our relationship,” Minhyuk started, his voice raspy as he tried to steady his breathing, “But I let things spiral out of control. I admit that. Last night…,” he paused, looking away briefly, “Last night was wrong on so many levels. I was selfish, desperate to be close to you again in whatever way possible.”

Slowly, Minhyuk moved towards her, his actions filled with caution, but she did not flinch or move away. Instead, she watched him with tear-filled eyes, her anger dissipating into a silent plea for understanding.

He reached out for her again, testing the waters to see if she would move. His shoulders fell in relief as she allowed his hand to hold hers. It was a silent step in the right direction. Hopeful he was making the right moves.

“I won’t beg for your forgiveness or try to sugarcoat my mistakes. But I need you to know,” he continued, “that I never took you lightly. When I was with the boys, going to concerts, you were always on my mind. I promised you my heart, Y/N, not just my free time.”

She could see the sincerity in Minhyuk’s eyes. It did not heal the breach, but it was a start. There was a lot he needed to explain and make up for. But at least they communicated openly and honestly for the first time in many months. It was a step towards understanding, even if forgiveness was still miles away.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry I didn’t come to see you. I should’ve told you I was free. I just… I fucked up. I don’t want to lose you. Let me make it up to you. Properly this time. The way you deserve it.”

His words echoed through the room, filled with desperation and regret. He stood before her, stripped of all pretenses, laying bare his emotions. In this moment, humility replaced his usually bold demeanor, and the heartfelt sincerity shone through.

Despite the whirlwind of emotions swirling within her, Y/N couldn’t ignore the genuine regret etched onto Minhyuk’s face. For the first time, perhaps, he truly understood the pain he had caused and the magnitude of his mistakes. Amidst the lingering anger, a feeble spark of compassion ignited in her heart.

Finally, she spoke softly and tentatively, “It’s not about making up, Minhyuk. It’s about change. It’s about understanding what went wrong and ensuring it doesn’t happen again.”

Minhyuk nodded, accepting her terms unconditionally. He pulled her into his arms, his lips kissing her forehead as he always did when he was genuinely sorry.

“I promise, Y/N.” He whispered, his lips unmoving from kissing her forehead. “Come back to bed with me. You have me until tomorrow. I’m all yours.”

With a quiet acknowledgment of her words, he wrapped his arms around her, guiding her toward the bedroom. It was evident that he was full of remorse about what had happened, and he was eager to make things right. He was warm behind her, his body curving naturally against hers.

They moved together in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. The creaky floorboards beneath their feet echoed their tentative steps, and the soft cast of the morning sunlight cast a soft glow on their faces. As they stepped back into the room, the air grew heavy with unspoken words and understanding. The bed was unmade and inviting, a beacon of comfort in the otherwise empty apartment.

The sheets, still warm from their prior slumber, welcomed them in its embrace. He carefully climbed in first, patting beside himself and inviting her to join him. He watched as she hesitantly climbed in next to him, crawling under the covers before turning to face him. His eyes scanned her face, taking in its every contour, every remnant of their shared grief and unspoken understanding.

He closed the distance between them, pulling her into his arms. His hold was comforting yet painfully familiar, reigniting the spark that once existed between them. His fingers traced patterns on her skin, a mindless action that used to put her right to sleep. His lips pressed against her forehead in a gentle kiss, an act of apology, of promise.

“I promise, Y/N,” he whispered against her skin, his voice barely audible. The words, laden with sincerity, echoed in the room’s silence. His promise hung heavy in the air, intertwining with the quiet hum of the night. “I - I know my promises may not mean too much to you... but this time is different.”

His hold tightened around her as they lay in the quiet room, his fingers tracing familiar patterns on her skin as she turned her back to him, allowing him to pull her as close as possible, spooning her. Despite his best efforts, sleep refused to claim her. Minhyuk sensed her restlessness, her untold thoughts echoing in the silence that stretched between them.

Deciding to break the silence, he whispered, “Y/N, how have you been?”

“Minhyuk, I’ve been terrible.” Her hesitant breath hitched at his question, and she responded with brutal honesty. The words were strained, and a bitter laugh devoid of humor escaped her lips. She took a calming breath before continuing, “I cry every day, you know. And my coworkers... oh god, the pity in their eyes, Minhyuk. It’s unbearable.” Her voice shivered, her pain bleeding through her words. “Every day I waited for you... hoping for something, anything. But I was met with nothing.”

As she spoke, he felt his heart clench. Each word was like a strike against his chest. His arms instinctively closed tighter around her, an attempt to pull her closer, if possible, to shield her from any more pain. But even as he did so, he realized it was him causing the pain. His promises of change rang hollow in his ears compared to her raw and truthful suffering.

Despite his comforting hold, shared warmth, and the quiet hum of the morning light, sleep continued to elude them. In its stead, guilt, regret, and a longing for repentance again settled over Minhyuk.

Her honest confession shocked Minhyuk, its raw intensity piercing through the fragile silence. Each word she spoke was laden with a bitter agony that stung him to the core. Her reality, shaped by his indiscretions, rocked him to reality. The words ‘terrible,’ ‘crying,’ and ‘pity’ echoed in his mind, searing his heart with a guilt that was becoming increasingly unbearable.

He clung to her desperately, his embrace tightening as if to shield her from the pain he himself had inflicted. Yet each word she uttered, the honesty behind her pain, shattered his illusion of being her protector. Every confession she whispered made him understand that he was not the guardian but the monster from whom she needed protection.

The anguish in his heart welled up, and his eyes welled up with unshed tears, spreading a wet warmth on his cheeks. His breath hitched as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat, hoping she wouldn’t hear his silent sobs. The realization, the hard-hitting reality of the pain he had inflicted on her, was a torment he had never predicted.

As sleep remained far from the pair, a wrenching guilt seeped into him, pooling around his heart. He held her close, his apology hanging heavily in the shared silence. His quiet tears continued to soak their shared pillow, a tangible testament to his regret and an act of repentance for his transgressions. Every ticking second, his guilt grew, blossoming into a suffocating remorse that stagnated the air around them.

His guilt reached an unbearable intensity, smothering him under its weight. With shuddering breaths and teardrop-laden eyes, he mustered up the courage to break the silence. Fragile and burdened with regret, his voice was hardly above a whisper, “Y/N... I’m... I’m so sorry.”

The words felt inadequate, a pitiful attempt to convey the ocean of remorse that swam within him. Each syllable chipped away at his composure, leaving him vulnerable and exposed to her. His tears continued to fall, leaving warm trails on his cheeks. The same tears that held no care if they wet her shoulders. His body shook with silent sobs, tremors of guilt that reverberated between them.

“I was... I was wrong,” he admitted, the words a mere breath against her hair. “I hurt you... you didn’t deserve any of this.” The weight of his words hung heavy in the air, his apology tainting the once comforting silence.

He broke further with each word he uttered, a solemn testament to his regret. The guilt within him crackled and ate away at his composure, each ticking second grating at his resolve. Facing the magnitude of his transgressions, he found himself on the precipice of despair, teetering on the edge of a chasm that threatened to swallow him whole.

In his state of desolation, Minhyuk clung to her, desperate for a semblance of stability as he navigated the tumultuous storm of his remorse. The anguished vulnerability that gripped him served as a stark reminder of the path of pain and distress he had inflicted upon her. Absorbed in his spiral of regret, sleep remained a distant echo, replaced by the unending cycle of apologies that streamed from his broken heart. His anguish echoed in the silence, a stark contrast to the harmonious hum of the morning enveloping them.

Taking a shaky breath, he looked up at the ceiling with tear-stained eyes, his voice stuttering in his remorse. “After the fancon... I regretted not coming to see you,” he admitted the words carrying an immense weight of guilt. He could still remember the joy in the fans’ eyes, a stark contrast to the pain he had caused her. “I fucking hated myself.”

His laughter with the fans and the camaraderie he shared with them was a gut-wrenching reminder of the time he could have, should have, spent with her. Was the joy he felt worth the pain he had caused her? The answer was painfully evident.

“I consumed myself in self-hatred for weeks.” His voice was barely a whisper, fervent yet pained. Each word seemed to scrape at his throat as if the vocal embodiment of his regret was just as painful as the emotional turmoil within him. “And I... I got even more scared to message you because I knew... I knew you saw everything. I was scared you’d hate me. That you would realize I was never good for you, that you deserve someone who can give you their time.”

His confession was met with silence, further amplifying the heavy echo of his guilt. His body shook, trembling under the weight of his regret. It was almost as if confessing his remorse carved open wounds within him, the anguish seeping out and staining the silence between them.

Every passing second was a painful reminder of his what he had done, his guilt growing like a malignant tumor within him. His regret had become an unending cycle, suffocating him with remorse to the point where sleep remained a distant desire. His hushed apologies and silent sobs stayed suspended in the air in stark contrast to the harmonic hum of the night, filling the room with an unbearable heaviness.

Lost in his storm of regret, Minhyuk clung to her, yearning for the stability and warmth she always provided him, a stark reminder of what he had so carelessly discarded.

“Say something...please,” he pleaded, his voice barely a whisper in the dense stillness. Despite his trembling form and tear-streaked face, he mustered the courage to break the silence again. The void of her response scared him, the silence morphing into a beast threatening to consume his sanity. He was terrified of losing her, losing the only solace he had known amidst the chaos he had created. “Please Y/N...”

In a desperate attempt to see her reaction, to gauge her feelings, he gently turned her to face him. The sight that met him was as tormenting as the silence. Her features, usually radiant and warm, were dull and tear-streaked, mirroring his own despair. Her silent tears were a stark, painful echo of his actions, of the harm he had caused.

The reality of their shared suffering intensified his guilt, making it an almost tangible presence in the room. His apology felt inadequate, a feeble attempt against the pain he saw mirrored in her eyes. His wrongdoings and choices led them to this point of shared agony. Every tick of the clock reminded him of his actions and the remorse that was now their companion.

The air was heavy, almost tangible, with the weight of his guilt, the despair radiating from him in waves. Sleep remained a distant dream, replaced by the relentless grip of regret tightening around him. The muffled echo of his sobs and the harsh contrast of their anguish against the peaceful morning only highlighted the gravity of the turmoil within them. Clinging to her, he sought solace amidst this storm, the warmth of her presence amidst the cold dread of his regret. The realization of the depth of pain he had inflicted loomed ominously, a cruel taunt of the love he had so recklessly mishandled.

She made an attempt to speak, yet her voice wavered, choked by tears and the overwhelming wave of hurt he had inflicted upon her. The sound, or rather the lack of it, crushed him further. He held her tighter as though the strength of his embrace could blot out the cruel reality of their situation.

“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he gasped between sobs. Apologies poured from him, a cascade of remorse, grief, and desperation. Each word was a palpable fragment of his guilt, echoing in the oppressive silence of their shared space. His voice was a broken whisper, the raw edge of emotions making it almost inaudible.

“I’ll... I’ll do better,” he promised, clinging to her like a lifeline as if she was the only thing anchoring him in his sea of regret. “I’ll try to... to wrap up early, be home with you... You need - deserve better. More than I’ve given you.”

The admission ripped through him, a brutal acknowledgment of how profoundly he had failed her. The hands that held her trembled, reverberating the aftershocks of his guilt through her. She was crying silently, a damning testament to his actions.

His guilt was a suffocating entity in the room, a hovering ghost casting long shadows over what was once their respite. His hushed promises and tear-laden apologies hung in the air, each a testimony of his pain and regret. His desperation echoed in the cruel morning silence, bouncing off the walls and seeping into every corner of their shared space. It was an inescapable reminder of his recklessness, a stark contrast to the serenity the morning glow, under different circumstances, would usually bring. His hell was one of his own making, a torment born from his choices, his regret a constant companion.

“Maybe... maybe I don’t deserve you, Y/N. Fuck, I definitely don’t deserve you,” he confessed, burying his face in her hair. “But I need you... I can’t do this without you. I’m too selfish to let you go,” he admitted his voice a thread of barely contained anguish. His hands, trembling and unsure, gently cupped her face, his thumb lightly tracing the trail of tears that stained her cheeks. Her anguish, a damning testament of his actions, was clear and evident in the tear tracks. “Is that so wrong? Why am I so fucking selfish with you when I push you away? I’m a monster.”

As if to assuage his guilt and offer a wordless apology, he pressed tender kisses on her forehead, temples, and cheeks, each one a silent vow. His lips lingered a moment longer on each tear-stained spot as if hoping to kiss away the hurt he himself had caused.

The room was filled with his whispered promises, his broken apologies, each word raw and heavy with regret. The atmosphere clung onto each syllable, echoing his desperation throughout their shared space. He clung to her, his lifeline in the turbulent sea of guilt and regret. Her warmth was a harsh reminder of what he stood to lose, of the love he had so foolishly mishandled.

Despite the despair that gripped him, despite the guilt that threatened to consume him, Minhyuk held onto hope. A hope that was encapsulated in her, a hope that she would find it in her heart to forgive him, to give him another chance. Yet, her silence and tears tore at him more painfully than her words ever could. His hell was a torment of his own making, a grave he had dug out for himself with his recklessness and disregard.

Finally, she spoke. Her voice trembled, mirroring her emotions. Wracked with sobs and choked with tears, she uttered, “Minhyuk...”

The sound of his name, laced with so much pain, hurt more than any words of reprimand could. It was a brutal echo of his actions, a painful reflection of the harm he had caused. Yet despite the sting, he clung onto the vestiges of her voice, desperate for any semblance of a response, validation that she was still willing to communicate with him, to give him a chance to repent.

“Do you remember that day at the amusement park, Minhyuk?” she whispered, a hint of nostalgia creeping into her voice. Her voice trembled, telling the tale of a time when they were both younger and less burdened. “You were trying to impress me by winning me that stuffed toy, but you fell into the dunk tank instead. Everyone was laughing... and you... You were soaking wet, shivering, but still grinning like a fool.”

She let out a shaky laugh, a warm yet tormented sound that briefly dispelled the oppressive atmosphere. He found himself chuckling along, the memory of that embarrassing incident being a bittersweet reminder of happier times. Her soft laughter was like a ray of sunlight piercing through storm clouds, illuminating the dark corners of his guilt.

Slowly, the gloom of the room retracts a little. As if the clouds decided they had spent enough time blocking the sun’s shine. Her laughter echoed lightly against the walls, bouncing back to them like a tender caress, a small salve on their shared wounds. Minhyuk closed his eyes, holding onto the sound of her laughter, onto the memory of that day, onto the little bit of hope it offered, and let a careful sigh of relief escape his lips.

“I remember, Y/N... I was drenched, and everyone was laughing. But you...” He pressed closer to her, his laughter dying as he whispered, his voice dropping lower, a thread of emotion weaving through his tone, “You were there, standing up for me, your laughter the brightest thing I had ever heard. I fell for you even more that day.”

The mood had been lightened a bit, but the truth of their situation still loomed heavy around them. Yet, in that moment, they found a shared comfort in a cherished memory, a respite from the storm that still had to be faced. They clung to each other, the story of their past serving as a small beacon of light amidst the darkness of their present.

“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he whispered again, his voice barely above a breath, a fragile testament to his pain. Drawing her as close as he could, he locked eyes with her. Tears formed watery rims around his eyes, the ghosts of the laughter from their shared memory fading into the wind. “I’m sorry I was a ghost. Everything you worried about and begged for to not happen… it happened, and it was my own fault. It was all me.”

His thumb caressed her cheek gently, wiping away the fresh flood of tears that threatened to spill from her beautiful eyes. The moment’s intimacy, the raw emotion, turned every touch, every whisper into a poignant echo in the hollow silence.

“Kiss me, Minhyuk,” she said. Just as his face neared hers, ready to lose himself in her again, she held up a hand. The words that softly passed her lips gave him pause. Despite the curtain of tears, her eyes had a determined glint, her voice carrying a wavering note of resilience.

Respect for her wishes and his own yearning propelled him to gently press his lips against hers. It was a kiss filled with regret, desperate promises of reformation, and the faint hope of forgiveness. Their shared pain resonated in this exchange, this moment of desperate connection. His guilt, her forgiveness, and their collective hope for a better tomorrow were all locked in this lingering kiss, a poignant denouement to the regret-filled morning.

She gently pulled away from the kiss, her gaze steady yet filled with unshed tears. “Can we... Can we re-do last night?”

The question hung in the air between them, fragile as glass yet as heavy as lead.

His heart swelled in his chest. Was this a chance for redemption? For atonement? He searched her eyes, desperately seeking affirmation, and found his answer in the vulnerable depths of her gaze.

“We don’t have to...” he started, his voice almost a plea, a need to reassure her that there was no obligation, pressure, or expectation. But she silenced him with another kiss, her hands cradling his face.

“I want to... with you,” she said softly, her gaze steadfast on him and her heart bared open. “I want to make love to you, Minhyuk.”

With a shaky breath, Minhyuk nodded, his voice a soft whisper in the silent room. “If that is what you wish, Y/N, I am here,” he assured her, his eyes shining with gratitude and a newfound determination.

He leaned in to gently kiss her neck, trailing his lips down with reverence. His kisses were feather-light, yet they marked her skin with a delicate heat. His fingers traced non-specific patterns on her skin, feeling the familiar warmth beneath his touch. He held her with one arm, using his free hand to explore her physique, treading on the known yet novel territory.

Minhyuk moved cautiously, letting his hands roam over her body, every move a silent question seeking her approval. At each motion, she would hum a soft affirmation, encouraging him to continue. He took his time, savoring every response and every gasp of pleasure that escaped her lips. All he wanted was to make her feel cherished and treasured. Like he should have before.

Her pulse quickened beneath his touch, their breaths hitching in sync. The sound of his name on her lips sounded like a prayer. This time, it was different. It wasn’t about seeking solace or escaping but about reaffirming and reminding each other of the love they once passionately shared.

This intimate moment was a far cry from their previous encounter. There was an eminent sense of respect and a deep understanding of each other’s needs and boundaries. It was about seeking healing, seeking comfort in their shared desire, and assent to rewrite the unwelcome memories of the previous night.

“I love you,” he whispered against her skin, his voice fading into a husky rumble. He dipped his head low, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder. She smiled, her eyes filled with unspoken emotions. “You’re so beautiful. A daydream.”

Minhyuk’s breath hitched as his fingers slowly slid down, journeying across her body. His touch was feather-light yet deliberate, tracing the curves of her form with the reverence of a lover enshrined in history, familiar yet intoxicatingly novel.

He carefully slid a hand lower, his fingertips gently grazing through the soft fabric of her undergarment. Her quick breath intake was all the approval he needed to push. Further, his fingers now tracing delicate patterns against her, raising goosebumps of pleasure in their wake.

His other hand cupped her face, thumb stroking her cheekbone in gentle arcs, his gaze locked onto her expression, a silent plea for continued affirmation in her eyes. Her lips parted, releasing a soft moan at his touch, her eyes half-lidded with ecstasy yet still holding that deep trust for him.

His actions were slow and punctuated, each a statement, a question, a request for consent. Time seemed to still to the rhythm of their beating hearts as they journeyed closer to that peak of intimacy, poised on the brink of pleasure and transcendence.

As his digits began to delicately explore her, their shared breaths grew more erratic, the soulful intimacy of the moment amplifying the sensory pleasure. A soft gasp echoed in the room, her hands clutching at his shoulders, a hushed plea of his name creating an orchestra of sounds in the otherwise silent room, adding to the melody of their shared union.

His fingers continued their delicate exploration, rhythms matching the steady rise and fall of her chest, creating a symphony of whispered pleas and strangled gasps. Her hands curled tighter into his shoulders, her breath hitching in sync with his every careful movement.

The room filled with their shared exhales of pleasure; the whispered utterances of each other’s names were a testament to their surrendered control. His attentions only intensified, the deliberate movements of his fingers heightening her pleasure, each apt touch making her arch into his touch.

His focus was intense, his gaze never leaving her face, quietly seeking her consent while noting each expressive tell of her rising pleasure on her face. His name fell from her lips, a whispered plea, her eyes lidded heavy with desire and trust.

She clutched him closer, her fingers digging into his bare skin in response to his skilled attention, each movement bringing her closer to that precipice of breathtaking ecstasy. He could feel her body begin to tighten around his fingers, her breathing ragged.

With a final arch of her back and a hushed gasp of his name, he felt her shatter against his touch, their shared breaths the only sound in the still, moonlit room. The intimacy of their rendezvous echoed in the otherwise quiet space, bearing testament to their tender, healing union.

They lay there together in the immediate aftermath, her body still trembling from the recent onslaught of pleasure. Her breath gradually slowed to match his, their chests rising and falling in sync. For a moment, they simply basked in each other’s presence, the depth of their shared connection enveloping them like a comforting blanket.

Minhyuk pressed gentle kisses to her forehead, cheeks, and nose —respectful, worshipful. His fingertips traced lazy patterns on her skin, each touch further solidifying their undeniable bond. In response to his movements, she entwined her fingers with his and sighed contentedly, her breath fanning over his neck.

“Minhyuk, I... I want more,” she murmured, her gaze locking onto his, filled to the brim with trust and unguarded passion. He hummed in acknowledgment, eyebrows raised in silent question. “Please...”

Visibly taken aback by her words, Minhyuk searched her eyes for any trace of doubt, but all he found was sincere desire and earnest anticipation. As a form of consent, he nodded and pressed his lips to hers in a heated kiss before allowing his touch to travel further, intent on satisfying her newfound curiosity.

His fingers slowly began to undo the remaining clothing barriers between them, his gaze never leaving hers, asking for silent affirmation with every button undone; every inch of fabric slipped off her body. The metabolism of his heartbeat mirrored in the anticipation twinkling in her eyes. She reciprocated his efforts, tugging at his boxers, their clothes pooling at their feet.

“Can I...?” she asked, her tone laced with uncertainty as her gaze met his, a mixture of desire and determination etched into her features. He nodded, aware of her unspoken desire, and satuating himself comfortably against the headboard.

She moved to straddle him, her knees dug into the mattress on either side of his hips. Her fingers trembled slightly as she reached for him; his breath hitched in his chest at the contact. He watched her from beneath half-lidded eyes, noting the flush that spread across her cheeks, the slight shudder that ran through her spine as she began to sink down onto him.

Greater sensation overwhelmed him as she adjusted to him, her pace deliberately slow. His hands moved to rest on her hips, aiding her in finding a rhythm that brought pleasure to them both. Her head fell back, lips parted in a silent moan as her body moved against his, the sound of their mingled breaths filling the room.

Her movement was a dance, beautifully rhythmic and sinfully enticing. Each roll of her hips into his served as a testament to their shared desire, every shared moan a proof of their unspoken passion. She leaned forward to capture his lips in a heated kiss, their bodies meeting each other’s in a rhythm only they understood.

As she set the rhythm, he moved with her, hands traveling the expanse of her bare body, relishing the softness of her skin. His fingers traced the curves and valleys with a sense of awe, fingers dipping into places that earned him soft sighs and gasps of pleasure from her lips.

“You’re so beautiful,” he managed to say, his low rasp vibrating against her skin, amplifying their ongoing intimacy. His gaze traveled the length of her, taking in her blossoming form, flushing under his touch, half-obscured in the diffused moonlight streaming in through the window. “You are everything to me. My world, my breath, my heartbeat.”

Acknowledgment of his heartfelt compliment was a slight hitch in the movement of her hips and an appreciative nudge against his hands, pressing him to explore further. Her body was a work of art, each movement sinfully enticing, making him hard to resist.

The sight of her, eyes glittering with pleasure, body moving fluidly against his in the most tantalizing way, was nothing short of empowering. He reached up and cupped her face, drawing her down for a deep, passionate kiss, their tongues dancing with the same rhythm their bodies had set. He conveyed his affection, admiration, and reverence through their lips meeting.

She moaned against his mouth, her body arching into his touch, seeking more, offering more. His hands guided her movements, each stroke setting her senses on fire. Desire mounted as their bodies meshed, the fervent connection sending them spiraling toward a climactic crest. His name rolled off her lips in a breathless whisper, a sweet melody to his ears, pushing him further into passionate depths.

As she continued to move, he marveled at the sight of her in the throes of pleasure. His hands explored the expanse of her body. Each touch, each caress, was a silent praise.

“You’re a vision.” he breathed out, his voice heavy with ardor. Her skin, flushed and glowing in the dimly lit room, encouraged him further. His fingers traced the curve of her waist and the swell of her hips; every part of her underneath his hands was a testament to her beauty.

Each roll of her hips against his elicited a low moan from him, each sound spurring her on. His praise, their shared desire, and their intimate connection continued to fuel their actions. She bent down, pressing her lips onto his as she continued to ride him, matching the rhythm of their shared breathing.

Their bodies moved in sync; the feel of her soft skin against his and the expression of pleasure etched on her face was nothing short of intoxicating. He relished in her reaction, watching as she arched her back, lost in the pleasure he was providing her.

When the climax arrived, it was like a wave crashing over them. She cried out his name, her body shuddering with the overwhelming sensation. He followed soon after, his body tensing as he reached the peak of his pleasure. Nothing but their shared breaths filled the room, the sound echoing like a testament to their passion. A shared intimacy that was more than just physical, a bond that was deep and unfathomably profound.

As the waves of pleasure began to decrease and the heightened sensitivity slowly faded, they found each other tangled in a comfortable embrace, their bodies still humming from the recent high. He held her close, her body nestling perfectly against him, their heartbeats synchronizing in the tranquility of the afterglow.

“Are you okay?” he murmured into her hair, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on her bare skin, the intimacy of the question matching the intimacy they had just shared. A simple “Mhm.” was her content response, her warm breath fanning over his chest, lulling him into a sense of serene comfort.

He rolled onto his side, pulling her along with him, tucking her against his body so that her head rested on his chest, right over his heart. His fingers explored her body in a different way now, absent of lust but filled with an overwhelming affection. His touch was tender this time – a worshipful appreciation of her presence and trust in him.

“Promise me,” he began, his voice but a soft murmur seeping into the room’s stillness. Her heart skipped a beat as she looked up at him, those usually playful eyes now filled with a seriousness that she rarely saw, “Promise me we’ll always be there for each other like we are now.”

“I promise,” she whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his chest, right above his heart where his promise was undoubtedly echoed. The seriousness of his gaze made her heart flutter, and despite the mild surprise, she knew there wasn’t a single doubt in her mind. His arm around her tightened, a silent acknowledgment of their shared promise.

From then on, it wasn’t just the cuddling or the lingering kisses they shared. It was the unsaid promises and the whispered vows amid silence. It was how he looked at her like she was his entire world. They held each other as if reassuring themselves of the other’s presence. It was the intimacy and the affection that filled the room – something that was long overdue and now would never be lacking again.

“I’m going to miss you, Min.” She uttered. Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper, as if she was afraid her words might shatter the tranquility of their intimate moment.

Minhyuk let out a soft sigh, his fingers lightly stroking her hair. He didn’t want her to worry about the future, not when they were wrapped up in each other’s arms in the present.

“I’m here now, aren’t I?” He murmured, his tone gentle, reassuring. “I’m here tomorrow, too. I’m all yours. We could stay in bed all day, order out if we have to.”

When she nodded against his chest, he continued. “And when I’m done with my service, I will take some time off. We can spend that time together. No distractions, no obligations. Just you and me.”

“Promise?” She asked, her voice quivering slightly, her eyes sparkled with unshed tears at his words, her heart swelling with love and affection for him.

“I promise,” he affirmed without hesitation, tightening his arms around her in a comforting hold. His plans were sincere, a future sculpted around them. His words were an unsaid promise, an understanding that their bond isn’t transitory, just paused for the better. The weight of his words hung in the air, an oath sworn and received, a pledge of a future where their love held prominence.

“And there’s something else I promise,” he said, his voice quiet yet steady as he locked his gaze with hers, a seriousness reflecting in his usually playful eyes. He took a deep breath as if gathering his courage before continuing. “When I’m done serving, and I’m back, I... I want to marry you.”

The words sunk into the room’s silence, like a stone thrown in a still lake, leaving ripples of reactions on her face. His proposal was straightforward and earnest, a confession that came from the depths of his heart. He was offering a future, not of doubts but of certainty. He was offering a life together to brave any storm that would come their way.

“I’ve thought about this for a while,” he admitted, his arms holding her closer. “I know it’s a big decision, and I don’t want you to rush your answer.” He sighed, his thumb gently brushing a tear away that had trickled down her cheek. “I want you to be sure.”

“But yeah,” he continued, his voice quieter now. “I’m selfish. I want you by my side. Your presence and support… mean more to me than anything else. I want us to face the future together, no matter how tough the tides get. I want us to stand together, always.”

His confession was an admittance of his feelings, indicating the depth of their relationship. Despite his remark about being selfish, it was anything but that. His words were sincere, representing a pure soul who loved unconditionally. The promise was less of an assurance and more of a humble request stemming from intense love and admiration for her.

“What do you think?” Minhyuk asked, his voice heavy with anticipation, his eyes searching hers for an answer. He wanted to know her thoughts and feelings about this proposal and their future together.

“I think we’re going to have a beautiful future together,” she responded, her voice filled with a rare kind of certainty. A soft smile stretched across her face, her eyes twinkling with joy. She’d been waiting for him to voice these words for a long time.

“I cannot wait to find out,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. Minhyuk felt a surge of joy, a relief washing over him. He pulled her closer into an embrace, one that was light with promise and happiness. They cuddled together and held each other close, letting the silence encase them as they reveled in the promise of a future together.

Their story concluded on a hopeful note; the future was uncertain, but their feelings for each other were not. The promises they made and the love they shared overshadowed everything else. The true story was just beginning, a journey of two souls intertwined, bound by a promise of a lifetime.

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