#but i couldn't tell anyone that because then they would keep ignoring my illness and pretend i got depression instead

[sowhatnotcreative]

Every day that the meds don't quite get me to the baseline I'm used to I have a moment (or a few) of "this is it. It was nice while it lasted".

[reiderwriter]

Please Accept My Apology

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: After three days spent trying to convince the BAU that they had made a mistake, Spencer Reid shows up at your door to offer his apology.

Warnings: enemies to lovers, smut 18+ minors dni, slight age gap, penetrative sex, squirting, fingering, dirty talk, name calling, degradation, hints of bdsm, implied creampie etc.

You can find my masterlist here and my 2024 song fic challenge here (don't forget to send song recommendations to my inbox!)

You never thought you'd ever see the inside of an interrogation room before this week. Now you didn't think you'd ever see the outside of it.

“Y/N, you're brother ran from law enforcement multiple times, if you know where he is you need to tell us or you'll be charged with accessory to murder and kidnapping after the fact. Is that what you want?”

“Of course it isn't what I want, but I already told you I can't fucking help you!”

You paced in the boxed room, feeling closed in and hot.

Your brother - your innocent brother - was the key suspect in a series of child abductions and murders, and as he'd ran from law enforcement multiple times, they'd dragged you into the police precinct to try to track him down.

For the last three days, you'd been stuck sitting at that table across from Doctor Spencer Reid, waiting for the worst news of your life, because you knew it was coming.

“He's not a murderer. He's mentally ill, but he wouldn't hurt anyone. I keep telling you that, why won't you believe me?”

“A lot of loved ones protest a suspect's innocence, right down to the last second.” You couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up from the depth of your chest.

“My brother is schizophrenic. He was violent before, sure, he had outbursts. But he has been monitoring his meds for the last three years perfectly. He has a job, he has a son. He would not hurt those kids.”

You had always looked up to your elder brother, even through the tough years.

He'd inherited both your fathers drinking problem and your mother's mental illness, each demon feeding the other until he had a breakdown at age 19.

You were only 17 yourself, but with no one else to hold him accountable, you'd been there. You'd checked him into a facility, you drove him to each of his doctor's appointments when he was clean. You'd been around for each sober anniversary, for each birthday and holiday and celebration that he'd made it one more year without falling into himself.

He'd reciprocated by being the most reliable man you knew. He helped put you through college when he was stable enough, he'd managed to work his way up in the ranks at his construction job. He had a beautiful wife (currently in another interrogation room with another agent) and the cutest little boy.

He'd promised you that your family struggles would end with the two of you. You'd promised each other to take care of each others families if anything happened to them in the future, and while you currently had no family to speak of, you sure as hell were going to make sure that your nephew never wanted for anything in his life.

Your brother wasn't a murderer, and you had proof enough.

“You know, you haven't asked me yet why I think he's innocent.” You took your seat again, and gathered your hands together on the table, leaning in closer to the agent in front of you.

You watched him think for a second, then mirror your pose, leaning in just as close, eyes locked with yours.

You'd talked about a lot of things these past three days, and you got the idea that he was a bit of a jackass. If not a jackass, then at least big-headed; he'd practically shouted his title of Doctor at you as he'd walked in, and made sure to correct you every time you'd called him agent or sir.

You kept doing it just to piss him off eventually.

“It's denial, Miss Y/L/N. You don't want to see the signs you'd ignored for that lingered, so you beg and protest and plead, hoping that eventually you'll turn out to be correct.” His voice was low, but you caught every word.

“While I am sure you know what you're talking about Agent Reid, that is not why I'm here still. I'm not being charged with a crime, and I've been here much longer than 24 hours. I'm free to go at any point, but I'm sticking around here, lawyer free, because I want to watch your face when you realise you'd been wrong this entire time.”

He shifted uncomfortably and you smiled, happy to get under his skin once again.

“Okay, Miss Y/L/N. What makes you so sure your brother is innocent?”

“Your profile.” His eyes slightly widened at that, and you basked in it, leaning back and waiting for him to take the bait as the tide turned in your conversation.

“We profiled that our unsub would be late 20s to early 30s, probably a family man who'd likely been abused as a child. The profile also suggested he may have had a psychotic break recently, likely as a result of coming off his meds. Your brother fits the profile, Y/N.”

He'd dug his own grave, and you were happy to see him getting ready to sleep in it too.

“No, he doesn't, Agent.”

A tense silence passed between you, and you knew his gaze was fixed on you. You let your eyes dart elsewhere, rolling down his body to his hands. They were totally still of course, but you could see how tense he was by the way he pushed them flat against the table, almost as if he were trying to ground himself, finding reassurance in the pressure.

“How does he not fit the profile?” His brows were knitted together, and his expression was one of annoyance now.

No matter how much you had shouted or let out your frustrations these past few days, he'd kept a placid look of sympathy plastered across his features. He hadn't listened, or even suggested he'd wanted to, assuming your brother was guilty.

Now he was annoyed, as if he had the right.

“Despite what your records supposedly tell you, my brother is not off his meds.”

“Miss Y/L/N, we know that your brother did not refill his prescription three months ago, and that he looked into some clinical trials in the metropolitan area and was rejected.”

“Congratulations for having 50% of the facts. My brother wasn't rejected from those trials, he withdrew because they changed the terms. They wanted to study my nephew as well to see if they could predict where hereditary cases of Schizophrenia would manifest.”

You leaned in again now, enjoying watching the thoughts rush through Spencer Reid's head once again.

“His health insurance had some issues after the withdrawal, so his prescription couldn't be filled until next week, but my brother always had six months of pills delivered.”

You watched the realisation come crashing down on the agent in front of you, though he was doing a good job of keeping himself out together.

It was time to end this conversation.

“To take part in the clinical trial, he needed to stop taking his regular medication for two weeks. Meaning he has two more weeks of his regular medication. I watched him take it Monday morning, right about when your second kidnapping occurred. My sister-in-law will confirm.”

He stood from his chair slowly and nodded at you, making his way to the door.

“And Agent Reid?” You said making sure to hold his attention one last time before he could leave. “If anything happens to my brother, I will hold you responsible.”

He slipped from the room without another word, and you relaxed into the chair, letting your eyes fall shut as you waited patiently.

Xxx

It was another week before your brother was totally cleared. He'd turned himself into law enforcement the same day you'd forced the BAU to reevaluate their profile, and both he and his wife had cracked up your story.

With nothing else to distract them, you'd been happily informed that they'd caught the actual perpetrator, and saved another victim.

You were back at home now, trying to relax, to get back on track.

You knew by the knock on the door that you weren't going to get back to your normal routine just yet.

“Agent Reid, I wasn't expecting you.” He was there at your door, and you had to brush off a wave of annoyance, forcing yourself not to slam the thing in his goddamn face.

“It's Doctor Reid. You know that, though.” He mumbled the words, jaw tense as he heaved out a sigh, trying to get to his point but being distracted by your prickly words.

“I came to talk. May I come inside?”

“We talked for three days straight, Doc. What else could we possibly need to discuss?” You made sure to block the door with your body, one arm resting on the doorframe as you leant across it, the other holding the door tightly next to you.

You thought he'd get the idea, tuck his tail between his legs, and swiftly leave you alone, but you were sadly mistaken.

Instead his eyes raked over your body as you put it on display, curiously exploring every inch you put in his eyeline.

“May I come in?” He repeated, eyes still trailing down your body. If it weren't for the heat building inside of you, you'd have slammed the door in his face. A moment's hesitation was all you got instead, as he locked eyes with you again, and you reluctantly moved an inch to the side.

You stayed there in the doorway even as he entered, his body brushing against yours almost intimately for the second, his hand faintly tracing over your hip as he stepped inside, watching you all the time.

Needing desperately to gain your composure back, you jumped into asking questions. “You're in now. What do you want?”

“I wanted to apologise.” He hadn't moved far into the apartment, and you realised aa soon as you turned away from locking the door, overestimating his distance. You spun right into his arms, one of his palms coming to your waist to steady you as the other steadied the two of you against the wall.

“And whatever would the wonderful Doctor Reid need to apologise for?”

Your words were venomous, but the heat in them rose from somewhere deeper than the acid in your stomach, somewhere more fiery than the burning sensation at the back of your throat.

“I'm trying to do the right thing here, Y/N.”

“After a week of doing the wrong thing, Spencer, I'm not sure you're fully capable of that.”

His brows furrowed as he pouted, and you hated his proximity, both too close and too far at the same time. You wanted to run him apart, and then delicately sew him back together.

“I was doing my job.”

“You almost got my brother killed.”

“I'm sorry.” He heaved out an exasperated breath with the words, body relaxing and pushing your back fully against the wall. His eyes widened, and you could tell that he hadn't meant to move you in that way, but you just stared at him still, eyes flicking down to his lips with every intrusive thought.

This was how close you needed him.

“I don't give a shit if you're sorry.” You meant the words to be harsh a warning, but you hadn't realised your heartbeat bursting from your throat, your breathy gasps for air making it sound more erotic than angry.

He blinked once, then twice, slowly as if he was a scientist observing an experiment, not wanting to take his eyes off of it until he was certain something wouldn't happen.

“You're enjoying this.”

“I'm not.”

“Your heart rate is at 127 bpm, your pupils are dilated, your breathing is shallow. You're enjoying this. Why?”

His hands didn't let up, even as he shot out his words, brows furrowing further as you resisted the urge to push him away.

It was more comfortable keeping him close.

“I told you I am not enjoying this. You're just too close.”

“So, you're having a physical reaction to me?” He asked, almost quizzically. You had expected to hear a triumphant smirk or something in his voice, but he seemed genuinely curious.

“For God's sake, Spencer, yes. Yes, you're close and it's making me uncomfortable. You spent three days making me feel uncomfortable, and now you've come back for round two, are you happy now?”

“You're not uncomfortable,” he shot out again, almost as if he couldn't stop the words from spilling out. “You're aroused.”

“Know it all.” He laughed at that, and you could feel the heat in your cheeks. You weren't sure what the hell was going on with your body, because you'd spent the week despising the man in front of you, but now a simple hand on your wrist and a laugh had you blushing like a schoolgirl.

“So what if I am aroused? You're touching me, you have me pinned against the wall, really this is your fault, Agent.”

“It's Doctor, but you can call me Spencer. Or you can go back to another colourful insult if you'd prefer?”

“You're pretty full of yourself, I thought you came to apologise.”

“I did, it's not exactly me that is acting like they want to be filled right now though.”

“Jackass,” you snapped, as he lowered his hand around to cup your ass, finally allowing himself a tiny hint at the smirk you'd predicted earlier.

You gasped as he took a handful of your ass and pulled you flush against him.

“I want to say sorry, I want to make it up to you. I'm being quite charitable here.”

“Charity, my dear Doctor, is where you give something and expect nothing in return. It seems like you want something in return.” You spat the words again but you let your hands press lightly against his chest, waiting for him to make the next move as you played with the buttons of his shirt.

“I'd be more than happy to do that, too.”

You weren't sure who reached for who, or which one of you made the first push, but you were suddenly joined together by your lips, each of you battling furiously for dominance.

Your hands pushed up desperately, clawing into his long, busy strands and pulling him down further into you as you worked against him.

He was still stronger than you though, so when he forced your head back an inch, you moved out of necessity.

“Is that enough, or should I keep apologising?”

“Nowhere near enough, jacka-” he cut you off by pushing the tip of his thumb into your mouth, using one of his legs to spread yours so he could nuzzle himself between them.

“Why so quiet now? We couldn't shut you up in those interrogation rooms, but now you're so polite and obedient.” You moaned around his thumb as he stroked your tongue, encouraging you to suck it.

You didn't need much instruction, desperate now to show off your superior skills to the man in front of you.

“That's it, show me how much you want it, my little whore.”

His hand slipped into your pants quietly, but you twitched as his hands feathered their way along your pelvic bone, twitching at the sensitivity of the connection.

His hands slipped into your panties and you knew immediately it was over for you. You were so wet, and he was going to be able to tell just how much you apparently wanted him.

You moaned as he roughly pushed your pants down, finger teasing your cunt through your panties as you still struggled to suck his thumb so you didn't make any louder noises.

“You're enjoying this.” It was no longer a question, but a confident statement, no curiosity but simple satisfaction at how good he was making you feel.

He pulled his thumb from your mouth, rubbing some saliva across your lips to make them shine before he turned you around and pushed you up against the wall. Your hands barely pushed out in from of you before your chest collided with the wall, and he was close behind you.

As he coaxed your panties down your legs, you closed your eyes and tried to keep your breathing steady, desperately clinging to some high ground where you could find it.

His fingers were hot and long, and they quickly found your clit and got to work as he ground his hard cock against your bare ass.

His pants were still on, but you could feel the outline of his dick against you, hips rutting back into him with each flick of his wrist.

“Now, come on Y/N. You said it's not charity if I receive something in return, right?” He whispered into your ear as you tried to reach behind you to grab his dick.

“We're going to take this nice and slow, and you're going to enjoy all of it.”

His fingers slowed to an aching pace as he finally pushed a first digit inside of you. His hips finished moving and his free hand held you still too, so the only friction was coming from that one hand between your legs, practically edging you.

“Fuck me, just fuck me Spencer.” You moaned in frustration.

“Doctor.” He whispered in your ear, the glee in his voice igniting your hatred of him all over again.

“What?” You spat out.

“Call me Doctor Reid, and I'll give you anything you want. You want to cum, right?”

His fingers kept their slow pace, and you could feel yourself growing more impatient, even as you grit your teeth together.

“Fuck me, Doctor Reid.”

“What about please?”

“Fuck you.” You instantly regretted your words when he pulled his hands off your body completely, retreating further into your house.

“No, shit, wait.-”

You scrambled after him as he took a seat on your couch, removing his jacket and loosening his already dishevelled tie.

“What do you want, Y/N?” He asked, palming himself through his pants as he watched you practically fall at his feet, needing his hands back on you.

“I want you to f-fuck me, please Doctor Reid.” He nodded slightly, pulling your remaining clothing off as he responded.

“That's a good little slut.” He led your hand over his cock and let you undo the buttons and pull him out. You needed no other instructions as he leaned back and pulled your legs into a firmer position.

You gave his cock a few strokes before lifting your hips and sinking back down onto him.

“So fucking wet for me, you were so aroused, baby.”

He didn't let you control the pace, but held your hips still just above him as he began pushing into you from below, lifting his hips to fill you up with each thrust.

You couldn't bite back the screams as his balls slapped against you, Spencer trying his best to fit his entire length into you with each deep thrust. You wanted to kill the man only an hour earlier, and now you were sure you wanted to have him inside you like this forever.

“Oh fuck, just like that, just like that Spencer please!”

Your hand drifted down to your cunt and you're began to rub feverishly, even as you felt the pressure build up from your gut.

The pressure was almost unbearable and before you knew it you were squirting on his cock, fingers splashing wave after wave of your arousal over his cock and clothes.

“Already squirting for me? I thought you didn't want anything to do with me, Y/N. I guess you are just a little whore.”

You twitched, but couldn't respond, as he began thrusting sloppier than ever before, grunting in your ear as he finally joined you in your mess.

His grip on your hip slipped as he finally started cumning, and you moaned feeling him so deep as he gathered you in his arms and pulled you chest to chest.

You sat there panting together for an eternity before you even thought about detangling your limbs from one another.

“You made a mess of my fucking sofa.” You said as you finally rose up slightly, looking down at the mess beneath you.

“No, Y/N, that was you. I simply helped.”

“Jackass.”

“Whore.”

You gasped as he laughed at you again, pulling your hips back down over his so you couldn't slide off his cock again.

“Don't act so scandalised when I can feel just how much that turned you on. You're enjoying this.”

You pouted a little, but let your head fall back against his chest.

“And what if I am, Agent Reid?”

[bothoutsiders]

It had been tough for Tim lately, but he couldn't give up. Only because that was what Jason would've wanted. He knew that, they spoke about it so many times before. If something were to happen to me, you have to continue with your life, Timmy. Promise me that. And Tim, in his stubbornness, would answer with a Nothing is going to happen to you, I won't let it happen. I’ll kill anyone who even tries to hurt you. 

Sadly, Tim wasn't strong enough to protect Jason. He didn't kill anyone either. And, this time, Jason didn't come back to life.

He moved out of Gotham, because starting over sounded better. He could fulfil his side of all those daydreams he shared with Jason. Those silly little thoughts he would tell him about, and Jason would answer with That sounds great, we should do that! or I'm down for that! You'll be a hot teacher. I'll come visit you, pretend I'm your student, and flirt with you.

Jason won't be able to play his part, but it was a promise. Tim was going to play his.

"I know you're still new here, and you need time to understand how everything works, but we need everyone's help." The lady said as she poured some milk onto a plate.

"It's fine, Nina. I heard it was busy season. I'll do my best to help with the load of work." Tim paid attention to the stray cats that came to drink a bit of the milk. There were four of them, they waited their turn patiently, but never ventured into the office.

Another teacher had once told him, that although they were used to feeding a large number of cats, their numbers eventually dwindled to the four he had in front of him. Two of them would actually let humans pet them, while the other two would run away as soon as they saw someone walking close to them.

One of them called Tim's attention. It was a small cat, a kitten still, orange and with only one eye. It made him think of Jason. He wondered if humans could be reborn as animals, but as soon as he caught himself thinking silly things, he went back to work.

Days passed and every morning he would see the kitten. It didn't have a name. One girl would call him Ronnie, but another guy would call him Pirate. In Tim's mind, he would call him Jason.

Maybe he could adopt him, give him a home and, maybe... They could keep each other company. After all, they both had no one else.

Busy season didn't end anytime soon.

He had been so wrapped up, trying to understand everything, help around, keep up with everyone, that the news took him by surprise. They had caught the four cats and taken them to the vet for a basic check up because before, there used to be five cats. The one missing had to be put down due to a life-shortening illness that spreads fast between cats. A stray infected cat was dangerous.

Tim didn't think much about it, trusting they would all be fine.

Nina spoke, her words barely intelligible to Tim, but one word caught his immediate attention.

Tim’s head whipped toward Nina, so quickly, he thought he would snap his neck.

"What?"

"He's sick. He was so angry that we caught him, and it seems he is pissed to be caged, but we needed to check on him, and the vet just told us that he's sick."

Tim didn't know what to say, but he felt his eyes tear up. He missed an opportunity. Maybe if he had adopted the kitten the first day, he wouldn't have gotten sick. He wouldn't have to die. Again.

"I don't want to go, but my boss told me I have to be there in his last moments. I've done this before, and it's awful. I don't even like cats, but... It's a very depressing moment."

He thought about it, because maybe he could go and be there for the kitten, but he didn't feel ready either. Seeing someone die is something he didn't think he could stand again. It had happened so many times already.

He decided he couldn't do that. Maybe it was better if he ignored all that. It was just a cat, right? And it wasn't like the kitten had any bond with anyone, either.

All day, Tim thought about it. He wondered if there was something he could've done different, or how it would be to have that kitten at home.

"We have the pit ready." Nina said the next day, looking through the window and pointing at a small deep hole. "I asked the guys from the other department to help."

Tim looked at it, but made no comment. It sounded awful how they were getting ready to kill a living being. He knew it was a merciful death, but... It still sounded awful.

Two days passed when Nina spoke again about Jason.

"It was terrible." She rested her chin on both hands, looking behind Tim, remembering what happened. "Ronnie was pissed, hissing at everyone in his final moment. When we buried him, his body was still warm."

Tim scratched his neck nervously, leaving red marks behind.

Good thing it was time to go home.

He was surprised to feel tears rolling down his cheeks on his way home. But he wasn't so surprised to feel awful and believe that things could've gone better for Jason if only he had done something, but no. He had to be so busy, trying to distract his mind of the grief he was still feeling for losing his fiancé.

Maybe next time he would do things differently.

[sickfictropes]

Hello yes I would like to order some "leader character getting so stressed about a kidnapped/missing teammate that it starts to take a PHYSICAL toll on her" whump please (preferably w/ fever, dizziness etc paired with soul crushing guilt)

omgggg yes! sickfic and guilt go together like peanut butter and jelly imho. sorry i couldn't think of more that involve fevers but i tried!

the "it happened under my watch. i was responsible for her" trope is so good. she blames herself so much that she stops sleeping in favor of trying to find out where her crewmate has gone, but she can't keep this up forever, and eventually she collapses in front of everyone.

(this one only really works for sci-f) consider: this isn't the first time this has happened. she's lost a crewmate before and she can't go through that again. she won't give up. not even when she catches a virus that leaves her shivering and sweating while she's desperately pouring over scanners, hoping to pick up her teammate's signal. after three days, it's only getting worse, until she finally has a dizzy spell on the bridge and has to be sat down on the floor. the medic is called and is extremely disappointed that she's been hiding a high fever from everyone.

leader experiencing panic attacks and feeling overwhelmingly dizzy and faint. she tries to hide it and she does, for a while, but ignoring them only makes them worse until she eventually can't hide it anymore.

leader is injured in the fight that teammate was kidnapped from, maybe a concussion or something, but she doesn't tell anyone because she doesn't want the team to fret over her and waste precious time. eventually, she's confused and so, so dizzy that the team finds the injury, which is worse than she thought it'd be.

leader is already ill when teammate was taken--that's the only reason why she couldn't fight them off--but insists on being a part of the search. all the moving around only spikes her fever and makes her feel worse, but she still refuses to stop until they find them.

[foodsies4me]

Thinking about the fact that Izzy is Robert's favourite child, Jace is Myrese's and max is favoured by both robert and myrese. Alec had to grow up not being anyone's favourite and having to know that everyday.

Everytime i think about how Alec grew up i get sad bc i just know it was so lonely (not like he could complain to izzy or jace about Izzy and Jace being favoured or him getting in trouble bc of them)

The first time someone tells alec that he's their favourite (favourite teacher maybe as i can see a trainee saying it) he tries his best not to get emotional infront of them and goes to his office just to sit bc holy shit he's someones favourite.

This prompt had me screeching immediately because I love it so much, so of course I had to write it (with the usual delay because I am a snail).

You're my favorite. Alec had never been the favored child. He learned early on he'd never be the favored child either. He wasn't smart like Izzy, he couldn't pick up any arbitrary subject and master it by the end of the week. He wasn't like Jace either, the most gifted fighter they had seen in decades if not longer. It didn't mean Alec was inadequate, he was a decent fighter, a decent strategist, a decent student. He just wasn't excellent. Everywhere his siblings excelled, Alec fell short. Decent to their greatness. Not good enough to their just right. Even Max exceeded where Alec failed - hitting milestones trainees twice his age struggle with without ever losing his easy smiles or cheeky remarks. Alec has always been as thankful for that fact as secretly envious. Thankful for it meant their dad paid attention to Izzy even as he continued to forget the rest of them existed. Thankful for it meant their mom praised Jace with the affection he so desperately craved. Thankful it would keep Max safe from the criticism his parents levied at him no matter what he did. Even when the voice grew too loud to ignore, loud enough that it ended with blood and bruises and choked-off breaths, Alec never let his siblings hear it, forbade them from hearing it. Alec promised himself he would never be a source of pain for his siblings and he would keep that promise. Even when it hurt him. Especially when it hurt him. Alec had never been the favored child. He long stopped believing he ever would be. He had been too weak, too ill, too lacking to be anything above decent. Mediocre. Not enough. Alec accepted it as his lot in life. He didn't need to be his parents' favorite. He didn't need to be anyone's favorite, he had his siblings' love and that was enough. Or so he thought. "Thank you, Alec. You're my favorite," Barika mumbles in his neck, small arms curled around his neck. He looks back at his new clothes - his new boy clothes - spread out on his bed, reading some of the slogans written on them, and wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand. He then gives him a shy grin, an expression that is so unlike the rambunctious little menace Alec has come to know and asks him if he wants to help him choose his outfit for their trip today. "Sure." Barika grins, eyes shining with joy. "You're my favorite." Alec smiles, "You're my favorite too." "Not Max?" Alec pinches Barika's nose, laughing at the amused giggle it produces. "You're all my favorite," he assures, feeling the truth behind that statement settle on his shoulders like a warm, comforting cloak. "Now, do you want to wear shorts or jeans?"

[hyperfixingfr]

CW for abuse. Idk if I've said this already but a conversation with @rainbowwwzo last night prompted a thought. Why are we still trying to claim 2 and 3 have good families?

1 & 5 have amazing families (Cree aside). 4 has a family who's trying their best, although probably need to look into why their son has behavioral issues instead of sending him to boarding school. But they still have their best intentions for him!

However, 2 and 3 have both been shown to have abusive and neglectful families. Somehow, I still see some of you claim they aren't that way despite the piles of clips that prove them to be horrible for their children.

For one, Numbuh Two is PHYSICALLY ABUSED. He's wacked over the head with a cane for anything mildly annoying he does. And his mother does NOTHING. Even when in the same room watching it happen, she does NOTHING. His grandmother can't even remember his name. He results to LYING to try and get her to love him, and even that doesn't work. Do you understand how that would impact a child? Do you understand that his fear towards fighting in the show and tendency to yelp or scream is a trauma response, because he's abused? I'm not saying you need to headcanon the boy with 98 mental illnesses or something... But you'd really be mischaracterizing him and ditching what is so obviously shown in canon if you didn't have this impact him in some way, shape or form. I feel VERY strongly about his home situation being misportrayed in particular because I was once in a situation where I was living with only my abusive, demented grandmother and my mother who was too weak from her own mother's abuse to save me from being abused too. My home situation looked just like his and it almost offends me when people claim he'd be happy go lucky, no heavy mental battles, content with his life, best outcome of the group. Because I can tell you right now, absolutely not.

For Numbuh Three, she gets the most ignorance. Her father was shown to be emotionally immature, screaming, yelling and slamming when he couldn't scoop *ice cream*. I hate to say it, but do you think a man who can't even handle letting ice cream melt a bit would be treating his daughters right? Absolutely not. We'd be lucky if all he did was emotionally abuse them. But judging by his reaction, it unfortunately seems he'd lay hands if upset enough. He reacts this way constantly. And his wife isn't any better. She seems to be projecting herself onto her children. She seems dull and uninterested in doing anything worth-while, and seems more keen on keeping them entertained indirectly instead of directly via playing with them. She raises so many red flags that you'd only see in emotionally abusive or absent parents. And even if she weren't, you cannot discredit the fact that she'd be letting her husband do it to them instead. Because she hardly does anything about it besides saying "calm down". We all know Kuki's innocence is a fake mask, but it baffles me how many people cannot piece together that she puts it on to protect herself from the environment her parents have created. She acts innocent to protect her feelings, most likely from her father. If she acts innocent, people let her off the hook more, which means less yelling.

Tommy and Mushi both take on personality traits found in abused children. Tommy seals himself off after realizing he can't always have his brother available (would've been achieved had he been in the KND) which means he wouldn't have the support of anyone that likes him or at least tolerates him. Hiding away in his room would be the best way to avoid conflict from Lydia. While Mushi takes on a evil, "I need to be the center of attention" demeanor. She goes to extremes just to get back at people who had her best interest in mind. Usually children give up a grudge like that quickly. It's not as bad as Tommy's signs, but it does imply she's attention hungry.

I'm not saying to make them both look like emos listening to MCR daily. But please, take 2 and 3s home lives into proper account. Especially when trying to portray it. I don't like seeing all of these misportrayals of people saying they've got perfectly happy families because they don't and it's very obvious they don't. At least to me, who had experienced both an abusive grandmother + hopeless mother and emotionally immature angry all the time parent. Missing the basic "2 and 3 have bad home lives" feels like you've missed the point of the show. Of course kids with bad home lives are gonna be there fighting for a better home life. The show is about fighting for basic rights for children. Completely glossing over a very in your face instance(s) of children being treated less than human is crazy.

[ineffectualdemon]

I am pro mental autonomy

People with mental illnesses deserve to have control over their mental health care and that includes whether or not they seek treatment or medication

By this I mean being openly mentally ill shouldn't be stigmatised against or forced treatment on if no one else is being harmed. Even if they make other people uncomfortable because discomfort is not harm

The rare instances where mental illness can contribute to harm against others is a complex matter and even then they should have a say in their treatment

And I say this as someone who has been situations where someone else's mental health has made me fear for my safety/life

But I have also been in many more situations where someone else's mental health made me uncomfortable. And I can tell you the way the people who merely made me uncomfy were treated by society was disgusting

(for the record I tried not to show my discomfort and either help or ignore them depending on the situation, my age, and what I felt was more appropriate at the time)

This is all to say I am against forcing treatment

That being said I am also really pissed off that the metric of who receives treatment is based solely off if they make other people uncomfortable/pose an obvious risk to themselves

I cannot tell you all the harm my religious delusions caused as a young person and why I have had to fight to find my own ways to protect myself. The distilled version is it drove me to self harm both physically and mentally and it would have gotten worse. There were times I was close to cutting my hands to mimic the stigmata and the only reason I didn't was because I was sure it would start on its own. I understood why people in the past had whipped themselves bloody in the name of God

I was in it deep

And I don't think anyone I lived with or knew knew about this at the time because a symptom of my delusions is that I can't tell people or bad things happen. Extreme secrecy is a by product of my delusions. And the religious delusions are only one of my delusions

I figured this out during a clear period in my early twenties and that's when I became someone known for oversharing. Because if I didn't have secrets I couldn't create elaborate realities in the same way. It hasn't ended the delusions but it has kept me safer and away from certain things but I know how easily I fall back into old delusions. I know religious delusions are just lying under the surface. Hell I listened to a song last year that had a Christian message and that alone very nearly pulled me back in. I had to stop myself from listening to it and it was difficult*

But I am not obviously mentally ill to most people. I don't show my symptoms very much because of the extreme secrecy part of it and generally other people aren't uncomfortable around me due to my delusions because they don't know about them

So when I went to the doctor during a lucid period and said "I have these issues and they cause me this kind of harm and I need help" and because I wasn't actively and obviously delusional in the moment and I was not making anyone else uncomfortable I was told "those aren't delusions" and denied treatment for them

Same for my hallucinations. Who cares if it scares me and keeps me from sleeping if I know they weren't real by the time I talked to a doctor and it didn't bother other people around me

I only ended up on an anti-psychotic and got therapy by emphasising my mood swings...you know. The thing that bothers other people

I'm off my anti-psychotic now for many reasons and the only reason I'm doing okay is because my in-laws paid for a private therapist for a year who actually believed me and helped me with my delusions and hallucinations

I am just so angry that people get treatment they don't want forced on them because other people find them a bother and people who want treatment can't get it because they aren't enough of a bother to other people

*and I was only able to do it because of my last therapist

[selfspinninglies]

the timeloop au sounds so interesting . tell

im going to choose to ignore the image you sent with this . anyway I'm just gonna put a bunch of thoughts I have about it here because they make me ill and upset (also I have an askblog for this au [@kitch3nsink])

-Vince and Rody's relationship in this au is sooooo fucked up . They absolutely hate eachother . They kill and hurt eachother . They hate themselves . They like eachother . Love even . They talk to each other a lot . They care about each other . They're stuck with eachother . They have nobody else . Who are they supposed to talk to? Anyone else will forget at the end of the week when everything resets . What's the point of doing anything when there's no end result ? The only thing they have to be careful with is their conversations , and most of the time they couldn't give less of a shit . They argue and always come back because what else are they supposed to do . It's scary and terrible but fantastic at the same time they're so bad for eachother . It's kind of like New Darling by Maretu except they hate eachother a lot sometimes

-Keep thinking of this one scene that I want to write eventually (<- maybe . don't hold me to that) that would take place in an earlier loop where Rody has a massive breakdown in Vince's bedroom after the dinner party where he asks if Vince could like . not kill Manon somehow so she could be alive this time . Vince says no because he killed her before all of this started . They end up arguing because Rody isn't doing so good and thinks that Vince is lying about it . Ends up saying smth like "I wish she were here instead of you" . That fucks Vince up and they don't talk for a bit but eventually come back to eachother because human longing for relationships etc but Rody never apologizes for it which causes problems

-The loop resets at the end of the week OR if one of them dies, just whichever once comes first so hypothetically one of them could just be vibing and then suddenly everything restarts and they have something to talk about . Totally don't have a couple scenarios planned out for this occourance . Anyway the first time it happens Rody's confused as hell because it wasn't the end of the week yet and Vince pretends to not know anything but is acting weird which causes you guessed it : ✨️problems✨️ ! And then the next time it happens Vince is the one who gets randomly resetted on and nothing has to be said

-Love Cat by biz ZERA and LOULET makes me really ill about them it's horrid that song is so them coded I'm gonna tear out my kidneys

[dream-in-seoul]

Rant about friendships coming up:

Let me make this clear, this is about people in my offline life, not about anyone here. I actually have multiple kind people checking on my wellbeing here and i appreciate you all so much even if I don't have much energy to reply and be cheerful these days 💜

However I just want to rant about how friendships have changed in the recent couple of years, at least for me and maybe someone else will find solace in my ramblings.

Ever since I became chronically ill, I lost most of my friends I made at university. Eventually, I stopped reaching out to people to hang out or talk to them because it was clear they were not interested. As my health declined, I was no longer able to travel across cities easily to visit them, and no one ever visited me. I always suggested we Skype instead, but to my surprise, people never wanted to. Now I am realising they wanted to go out not hang out with me.

One of the longest friendships I have managed to keep slowly fizzled out, probably ended already without me knowing and it is breaking my heart a bit.

This friend was willing to Skype me sometimes as it helped her pass the time when working on her art, however then she wanted to change her way of living and wanted to go out only. So I always travelled to see her and I spent the day walking around with her, hiking etc. no matter the time or weather. My friend knew how bad my health became and that hiking in heat made me close to passing out (I probably have pots) and sick and it would put me in bed for days or weeks. I always tried to be cheerful. I was happy to see my friend, but she would often lecture me about how bad my fitness was and how i would not feel as sick if I moved more (at the time I was still forcing myself to do daily walks and I had more movement daily than her).

Then she would ignore me for a few months when she had events to go to. I would get to listen the stories and sometimes was a little sad. I was never invited.

The last time we saw each other was in December. My body was throwing another issue at me (which is still lasting I am afraid) and I stood up for myself for the first time and asked whether we can skip the walking and stay in a cafe instead as I knew that even just the journey there will be harsh. My friend agreed and we sat down for a nice lunch as she told me about all the things she was watching, working on and the events she has been to. Then she told me about her new trainer and how he told her that he never tells his clients "not to do a certain exercise in a certain way so they don't fixate on it" which I guess makes sense. So I nodded and agreed and suddenly it went down the wildest rabbit hole.

I listened to my friend talk about how this works in everything in life and she will no longer listen to people's rambles about their issues because she doesn't want to go through the same thing as them because of it. If they tell her they are sick, then she would feel sick too, she concluded. (I highly doubt this is what her pt meant)

I was stunned. It wasn't hard to tell what she was hinting at. I just nodded. I respect that.

Then she asked about my worked, suggested I should either find extra work or "do something about it" and when I said, I don't think I can handle more work and that I am now dealing with a new symptom - I stopped myself and said: "I won't tell you about it of course since you have explained how harmful you find it"

"Yeah, exactly. Better not tell me, I don't want to be sick, too."

And I felt like shit. I didn't know what to talk about. My life was falling apart and I couldn't even tell my only friend.

Few months later, few days before I was due to leave to Korea, she texted me to hang out. For the first time, I declined. I was on antibiotics and needed all the rest before my flight "that is valid I guess."

Then I wished her happy birthday when it rolled around a month later. She did not remember mine. I invited her to come meet my new puppy. Of course, she never came.

Now I don't reach out, nor do I think I want her to. I don't want a friendship where I have to fake happiness to make someone else feel better. What has happened to our friendship. "Problems are for therapy" is what I have heard way too often from people who has usually never done therapy and as someone who has - no, they are not. Sometimes you need a therapist and sometimes you need a friend.

I hate how therapy culture is ruining friendships. How people grasp all those out of context sentences that ruin our sense of community.

Yes, put yourself first. I always encourage people to do that. But if you take it to extremes, are all your friends beneath you?

Yes, you don't owe anyone anything. But don't you want to have meaningful relationships where you help out and they help out?

If you want sanitised friendships, you are not experiencing friendships.

But I don't know. Perhaps I am in the wrong here.

[junipers-hellspace]

I Need Help .

Hi Tumblr. I feel pathetic for reaching out here but I have no where else to go. My name is June. I'm a 15 year old mentally unwell teen girl who is in an abusive relationship and I need help getting out of it.

My girlfriend and I have only been together for a few months. We've known each other for a little over a year now. We are both mentally ill and we both have shitty home lives. I'm recovering from a self harm addiction and anorexia. I've stayed with my girlfriend for as long as I have with hope that she would get better but she hasn't - she is actively getting worse and harming me and every one around her. I'm telling you all this so you have a backstory.

Anytime I do something that upsets my girlfriend, she threatens suicide. She will say she wants to/is going to overdose or simply kill herself and keep me up for hours trying to talk her down and then stop responding. In the morning she tells me she stopped responding because she fell asleep and didn't warn me. Every night she does this I have horrible panic attacks because when she stops responding I'm left to think she went through with it and killed herself. She does this every time I have to talk her down, which is at least once a week - normally more. This is extremely detrimental to my mental health. The thought that my girlfriend killed herself and I couldn't convince her not to is horrible, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

She's also extremely obsessive and possessive. At first, I didn't see this as a problem because I am also that way. I was also extremely obsessive towards her and toxic in that way. I admit I was wrong for that and I was toxic. But she took it further than I ever have or ever would. I recently got back in contact with an ex of mine because he reached out to me. I never intended to replace my girlfriend with him or even get back into a relationship with him. When I told her I was talking to him again she said I was going to replace her and started talking about wanting to kill herself because of this. She got into a verbal, screaming fight with her father because he wouldn't let her come to my house. She told me she planned on physically fighting him that night if he didn't let her come over and that she would stab him. She has put me above her friends and has started ignoring her friends and getting mad at them for trying to be with her and not letting her be with me every moment she can. She has damaged her relationship with her father, her mother, and her friends because of me.

She talks about wanting to kill or injure people a lot, to the point where it's not just intrusive thoughts, it's something she wants to do and as she has stated, is willing to do. She has talked about being a sadist and wanting to hurt/hit me before. And she does. She does hurt me. She bites me to the point of leaving deep marks that last days, she twists my wrists and arms until they almost break, and she never stops. I've cried and begged her to stop hurting me before and she smiled at me and didn't stop. She has a history with hitting people and being physically abusive towards her friends and family. She has told me this herself. When she gets upset, she hits things. I don't want to be one of those things.

As I stated earlier, I'm in recovery for a self harm addiction and for anorexia. My girlfriend says she supports me and will help me recover, but she doesn't. When we hug she feels the need to tell me she can still feel my rib bones so I haven't gained as much weight as I think I have - but the thing is, with recovery, the way your body looks and how much you weigh doesn't matter. You are supposed to heal your relationship with food and yes of course get to a healthy weight. I don't know if she knows how triggering what she says is because she says it a lot. She always mentions how I am still bony and it's triggering She also encouraged me to relapse and cut myself again just so I could make her a vial of my blood. She wanted me to cut myself and ruin my progress and mental health and risk getting sent back to a psych ward just so she can have a vial of my blood.

I'm scared to break up with her because if I do I know she will try to kill herself. And if she succeeds, her blood will be on my hands. I will be the one who caused it. And if she doesn't succeed, I'm scared she will come to my house and hurt me. I'm scared she will hit me or kill me. I don't know what to do. I can't tell her parents and I can't tell my own because that would be unsafe and I would be put in more danger.

That's why I'm coming here. I need help. Any help. I need advice. What do I do. If you get this on your feed and you read this far, please reblog. It could save my life. Thank you

[pupmusebox]

"Ah, I would love to catch up more with you but I'm glad they finally revealed themselves to me. I would not hesitate because anyone endangering what belongs to me is an act of treason. Such treason results in death." The dragon does appear in a different form that wasn't revealed towards any human, but figured his bird would tell the human to close his eyes. It was intended to rip apart the denizen that dared to mark his beloved's neck and inflict death upon him. "I have no need for words but your screams do nicely. A shame you tried to do the same thing, perhaps having some ill-intentions with me. But hurting my beloved was your mistake. Alright...you may open your eyes, my gem." The royal is back to his normal self with a smile, now embracing the human closely. "I've waited so long to have you back again...my dear." (diavolo @ venus)

"It be wise to close your eyes Venus, you wouldn't like to see this." "O-Okay... why do I have the feeling something is-" "Hush... let him handle things, just relax hmm?" Eyes would flutter closed while Pride was making sure that Venus wouldn't have to witness something horrible and shivering when ignoring the noises that be going on, hearing Diavolo speaking did make it not so bad when it be Pride's calming as well due to their soul after all. Minus the screaming and other things that be going on due to appropriate actions being taken at the moment of such an offender. "Is he done?" "Mhm, still fine as ever when doing what he does best haha." "I hate to even ask of that..." "Be wise not to, for better in keeping yourself not so shaken up." Letting out a sigh when blinking his eyes open though the color would flicker as would a smile and amused of that old name 'gem' being used, "Too bad I can't join you on such matters but... I wouldn't want to ruin Venus' innocence." giving the baton Venus to have himself back after saying such a thing before being met with an embrace while not used to things fully, "Always teasing of innocence, then again... not wrong I guess. Did you always call him a gem? Ohh..." being called 'my dear' Venus would be matching Pride's eye color when so red in the face and just flustered of being so close. "But he's right of... innocence, for I never had a partner before and now? A man that I knew in my old life before this one be finding me, what an odd twist to life isn't it? Also feeling a bit dizzy but that would probably be the butterflies and old feelings of love I seem to have, how embarrassing..."

Venus couldn't help of how he be feeling since that be the residual feelings of his old life being brought up and just making it such a mess for him, much to his chagrin when Pride be chuckling of how this human be tangled up with such emotions and those feelings.

[mysticalibra1994]

Sonic Prime Multi-Sonic AU (No Place: Emerald Eye)

So, I'm not really sure if anyone remembers my theory/headcanon on "What if there was a 'Sonic' in each Shatterverse that took place before the shattering?", but here's one that I kept in my folder after rewatching Sonic Prime (when Dread makes his first appearance) and noticing how "buddy-buddy" Dread was with Sonic; almost as if they've met a long time ago...

TW: Contains character death, gruesome detail(s), Pirate speak, yaoi kiss (if you have a problem with that, then don't read). ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Setting: No Place. Dread, Emerald Eye, and the crew follow a red-mark trail. Emerald Eye overhears the crew speaking ill of Dread.]

Emerald Eye: Um, no offense, me bucko. But, be ye sure ye be knowin' whar we're headed? Dread: Of course, I do. Th' ground be marked like th' map! Emerald Eye: Alright, if ye say so…

[Suddenly, Emerald Eye noticed something below Dread's footing snapped. It's a trap! Before Dread could even react, Emerald Eye pushed him out of the way as a bolt of blue lightning struck the blue pirate through the chest. The rest of the crew was blown back. As the smoke slowly settles, Dread witnessed a horrid scene… Emerald Eye's chest is now harboring a medium-sized burnt crater that's all black and smokey. Smaller scars are going through his charred body. His one good eye is now bulging a bit with veins that pulsated. His signature "emerald-green" eye is now a lifeless dull shade of burnt moss… Dread couldn't believe it, his one and only is dead. His one and only took the shot that was meant for him. All he could do was to shakely embrace his beloved, one last time…]

Dread: *thinking* His chest be warm, but his body's cold… Crew member 1: Dread… Ye keel-hauled that scurvy dog?! But, he were bein' yer beloved! Crew member 2: How could ye do this? Bunny Bones: Traditionally, when a Cap'n dies, their second-in-command becomes Cap'n. But, who will e'er trust ye?

[Dread is now too devastated to answer. But, suddenly, an idea comes across his mind! The Devil's Lighthouse… According to legend, the power of the Devil's Lighthouse can bring a person back from the dead with only scars to tell the tale of their survival.]

Dread: What has happened can't be ignored. But, I've got an idea! All we need be t' get th' Glowin' Gemstone a- Jack: Be ye serious?! Our Cap'n visited Davy Jones' Locker savin' ye, but all ye care about be some giant rock?! How selfish can one Corsair get?

[Taken aback by this, Dread understood the traditions and this unfortunate circumstance. So, as he took off, he quickly grabbed Emerald Eye, his Captain hat, and continued his way to the other side of the island.]

Dread: *looks behind him* It appears to be that we lost them, I'll warrant ye. *looks down to Emerald Eye's body* Oh, me beloved… *cradles it gently* Ye knew th' blast were bein' meant fer me, why would ye take it instead? *tearing up a bit* Now, our crew thinks that I should've been poxed! *looks down, sadly nuzzles Emerald Eye's face* Ah, I can't stay mad at ye. Because o' ye, I've ne'er felt lonely out in open waters. Due t' yer inability t' not swim, I've always been by yer side. *gently placed Emerald Eye down as he gently kissed his forehead* I'm not really good at sayin' "goodbyes", but ye've made me life an adventure. *sadly part ways with their last lip-kiss*

[After saying a small, yet important, prayer, Dread digs a hole deep enough for Emerald Eye to forever rest in and keep his hat as a tragic keepsake. As he got up, he noticed a rowboat that both looked and felt sturdy enough for him to set sail. For what seemed like forever, Dread was growing concerned about losing his rations. He was about to give up hope, until…]

Sails: *offscreen* Avast there, scurvy dog! Dread: *looks up to see a ship* Black Rose: Be ye alright? Batten Rouge: We have more than enough grub and plenty o' juice and water from coconuts! Dread: *taken aback by this kindness* Uh, yeah! Thanks, to be sure! Can ye help me up onto yer ship? Black Rose: Of course, we want ye t' join us! Sails: Th' more, th' merrier! Batten Rouge: Plus, we've always wanted a Cap'n! Dread: Wait, me? A Cap'n? What makes ye think that I'm a Cap'n? Black Rose: Well, ye have a hat like a Cap'n. Sails: Nobody on our boat has one. Batten Rouge: I believe that's it.

[Dread was afraid to tell them the truth. But, he's also afraid to be a captain. After taking a deep breath to calm the nerves…]

Dread: Well, ye're correct, me buckos! I be Cap'n! But, not just any Cap'n… Yer Cap'n! Sails: This calls fer a celebration! Black Rose: Three cheers fer our new Cap'n! Dread's new crew: Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray!

[As Dread's new crew parties until the sun goes down, the Echidna sadly looks up at the premature stars, forlornly thinking about his one true beloved. Wondering what Emerald Eye would say or even think of him now...] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah, I'm not that good at "Pirate lingo", so I had to use various websites to translate as correctly as it appeared.

For the next one(s), it'll either be Boscage or New Yoke.

Fun fact: During the era of pirates, women weren't allowed to be on the same ship with them. So, it was common practice for men to sleep together. This means that they can explore other things than treasure...

[plimchi]

For the falling in love question's, maybe #5 and #13?

Self Ship Meme- Falling In Love

woaoh; either my selfships are too complicated or i am just bad at putting things into short words, so heres a wall of text i guess. also since there was no specific ship wished for, ill just with my big 3. all grammar errors are to be ignored pls, you know the thrill ( all banner art was drawn ronyavalentine btw heheh)

Katanabaka (Zoro/Sasha)

5. Are either of you afraid of falling in love?

If you'd ask them, Zoro and Sasha would both say no. Simply because they were unaware of the feeling for the longest part. They both have friends that are very dear to them. They thought this was the pinnacle of love. Zoro and Sasha don't posess the highest emotional and social intelligence. So when they fall in love with each other, both experience this kind of intense emotion for the first time - and are extremely confused and taken aback. Maybe they are a little scared in the moment, just because they don't have a name for this sensation yet. 

13. Did you want to tell your f/o you love them right away, or did it take a long time for you to tell them? Vice versa?

They can't put their feelings into words at all. They stumble into a romantic relationship without either of them audibly confessing - and they don't need to. After weeks and weeks of kisses, cuddles and affection; a soft "I love you" is muttered. And even though both were already well aware, the words unleash another wave of intense and new emotion in both of them.

EndMe (Enji/Menma)

5. Are either of you afraid of falling in love?

 Enji isn't exactly afraid to fall in love. Love isn't something he thinks about a lot anymore. He's too busy. Maybe he thinks it is impossible for him to fall in love again but in reality, he'd just deny himself of any affectionate feelings towards someone new. Enji doesn't think he is deserving of love at this point. Neither to feel nor receive it.  Menma is not afraid of falling in love per se. She loves to love and has a lot of love to give. She knows that she may not get the same amount of love in return. She knows she might get hurt. Menma will keep on loving nontheless.

13. Did you want to tell your f/o you love them right away, or did it take a long time for you to tell them? Vice versa?

GODS, no. Both of them waited a very long time. After all, their boss/employee relationship would make it very very inapporpriate. On top of that, Enji is a married man with a bunch of children. The moment she realized she was in love with Enji, Menma felt horrible about it and tried to surpress her feelings. The last thing she wanted to be was a homewrecker. (Little did she know, the home was already wrecked af lmao)

GunsNRoses/DanThia (Dante/Diantha)

5. Are either of you afraid of falling in love?

 Dante is VERY afraid of falling in love. He is afraid to build any type of positive connection to anyone. Simply because he has lost a lot of people that were very dear to him. And he feels like, whoever spends time with him is bound to end up in trouble or even dead. There's just too much evil following him around.  Diantha isn't afraid of falling in love but she will be hesitant to let the feeling get the better of her. She grew up in an environment in which she couldn't just trust everyone and it is hard for her to put aside that waryness. She will need to trust someone wholeheartedly to admit it to herself.

13. Did you want to tell your f/o you love them right away, or did it take a long time for you to tell them? Vice versa?

Dante tried to mask and hide his honest love behind the sweet nothings, goofy compliments and casual flirting he treats almost anyone with. He didn't want to confess, he was way too scared to bond with Dia like this and losing her in the end. Dia was conflicted. She knew she developed feelings for Dante but didn't want to be played with. At some point she snapped at Dantes playful advances, telling him to be sincere. She didn't want to get her hopes up and fall for a fraud. Dante couldn't hide behind his lies anymore and both of them slowly lowered their walls.

[kokusfluffyhair]

Saving Saburota

Saburota (Dororo) x F!Reader Relationship Headcanons

I couldn't ignore the need to write something for him. The man's a nutcase but he deserved better. He's in my top 3 favourite characters from "Dororo" and had a lot of potential for further backstory work and personality development. The anime cheated him of the more screentime he deserved, too. And besides -- he's pretty fine😍

Headcanons are SFW even though Saburota is an adult

+ You met the same way he met his other victims. You were wandering through the forest and were approached by the suspicious traveller. You knew that there was something not right about him when he offered to show you a shortcut, but you went with him anyway. You were well-trained with the sword and if the man tried to attack you, you could defend yourself, right?

+ Well, to your surprise, you were met with the chimera demon that Saburota finds "meals" for. Because you were a woman, Saburota wasn't going to slay you himself and feed your body to the demon. He doesn't have it in him to physically harm a woman himself. He loved his mother dearly and because of that, he respects women. Unfortunately, his mental illness associated with the chimera demon was not going to prevent him from feeding women to the beast.

+ Saburota didn't hold any attachment to you, so he wanted to see you beg for your life and panic. He was itching to watch the familiar scene unravel again, so that in his heart he could release all the blame he held on himself for his mother's death.

+ Anyone would have been afraid. Anyone would have ran. Anyone would have acted out of cowardice.

+ But not you. You had the skills to fight the beast, although it was a difficult match. You fought it bravely and after a long battle, you slew it.

+ Saburota did not enter the battle to protect the chimera demon. He ethically couldn't hold his sword to you, so he stood by and watched. Your bravery astonished him.

+ He assumed that you would kill him, too. And as far as he was concerned, he deserved it. Watching the demon die released him from the psychological hold it had on him, and he was met with the overwhelming guilt of all of his actions.

+ But you didn't kill him. You knew that humans who collaborated with demons were manipulated and traumatised into doing so, turning to the demon as a way to free themselves from a desperate situation they saw no way out of. Instead, you asked Saburota to tell you about his connection to that demon, and in his breaking down out of grief and shame, he confessed everything.

+ Of course, he killed people. There was no releasing him of that. Saburota then asked you to kill him. He told you how he dreamt of becoming a samurai to make a better life for himself and his mother, and that in the end, he became nothing but a pathetic, cowardly murderer.

+ You refused to kill him. He then took his sword and seemed like he was going to try to commit seppuku, but he was shaking and hardly able to hold his sword firmly. You even wondered if he knew how to commit seppuku correctly.

+ You stopped him, snatching his sword from his grip, and told him that he was not calm enough to follow through with the action. And then, you looked into his eyes and told him, "Rather than killing yourself to escape your sins, you should find the courage to keep on living. Your mother died so you could escape. She gave her life for you. Don't throw that away."

+ "But I ... I didn't save her ..."

+ "You wouldn't have been able to. If you stayed and fought, you would have both died." You smiled at him and took his face into your hands. "No offense, but you aren't very strong."

+ Saburota knew that. He knew that he wouldn't have stood a chance against the chimera demon. He had seen countless times how warriors of different levels of strength fell to it. He had twisted it into his mind that no human, regardless of strength, could have defeated it. But even if he continued to believe that, it was true, if he had stayed and tried to protect his mother, he would have been eaten in an instant.

+ From that moment on, he had become your companion. He had nowhere to go and nothing to live for, so he tagged along with you. You didn't mind, since at least under your watch, you could make sure that he didn't start to harm others again.

+ Over time, you started to learn how kind and caring Saburota was. He definitely had a rough side to him and could be unnecessarily blunt and kind of crude, but he was exceptionally caring. And besides, his blunt comments made you laugh. He offered to cook for you both and would go out of his way to make sure that you were warm at night. He would even take off his kimono to give you an extra layer to sleep with, even though it meant that he would not have any clothing on his upper body.

+ He got sick doing that for you, and you had to take care of him. Luckily, there was an abandoned house nearby for you to stay in. It was then that Saburota really started to love you. The expression he held in his eyes when he looked at you changed. At first you thought it was because he was grateful for your tending to him while he was ill, but the expression remained there even after he got better.

+ And, to no surprise, you caught the cold he had, so he had to take care of you. He gave you a full princess treatment with what you had access to in the abandoned house. That was when he started sleeping next to you, spooning you in his arms to keep you extra warm.

+ Saburota's displays of affection only grew from there. Before you knew it, you were kissing and later continuing in a more intimate direction. It wasn't too long until he proposed to you, which you accepted.

+ You never thought that being led astray in the forest and slaying a demon would have brought you into the company of your future husband.

[walkingstackofbooks]

DS9 3x18 Distant Voices thoughts (I'm re-watching, so there may be are future spoilers)

I remember feeling disappointed by this episode the first time I watched it, but I think that was probably because the aging took me by surprise and speed-aging make-up always brings me a little out of immersion - let's see what it's like going in aware!

Garak! :3 always a little treat

Julian is not good at social niceties, is he 😘 (Honestly slightly jealous, the amount of times I've pretended to be delighted by a mug when I don't drink hot drinks because the design has been thoughtfully chosen is definitely not zero)

"This year is a little different." He says it so ominously XD

30 also marks the point where he's known he's an augment for exactly half his life... I don't think that's a major reason, but maybe even a subconscious factor for his unease about his birthday.

"...it becomes harder and harder to ignore the passage of time." Actually I think this is more significant than just a worry about aging? I dunno, this whole conversation feels like there's something more that he's not saying, he seems super emotional about all this. I revise my earlier statement - this is all about him finding it more difficult to ignore his fear that he can't keep his Secret for much longer, and being so aware that he needs to do as much as he can as quickly as he can before his life is over when it all comes out.

"If I choose to be grumpy about it, that's my prerogative." "By all means, Doctor, be as grumpy as you like." "Thank you for the support." I love these two :)

"Excuse me, Doctor." "What?!" Wow, he is on edge...

Garak is fascinated by this exchange. Look at him!

"Don't take it personally, he's turning thirty." XD JUlian does look chastened by this though, he knows he's acting unreasonably

"Who's there? Show yourself!" Okay, yelling at a presumably violent entity with no backup and no weapon is pretty damn brave. And I do love it when he gets angry

This makes so much more sense knowing it's a dream, with the way the crew are acting so differently

Julian taking charge when he finds the others in the Wardroom is just <3 He's so calm and collected <3

"I'm...in a coma." He says that in the same way he tells his patients bad news about their illness

"I am not some figment of your imagination!" ... You kind of are, I'm afraid, Kira 😅

"If I were to guess, Chief, I would say that you represent my doubt and my disbelief." "No I don't." XD But the gentleness with which he then says "I knew you were going to say that" though! <3 <3

I love how he automatically just keeps on playing tennis when he's dropped into it

"Major..." He knows it's not real but his sadness is though. Does he usually call her Major or Kira?

Okay Odo dying is the creepiest thing

Julian's last glance back at Kira, ohh

"I like the real Chief better than you." XD

I love how mind!Garak is always there for Julian.

"You're going to help me." Garak laughs. Okay I take it back? mind!Garak isn't nice.

"But other than that, I feel wonderful." Oh I LOVE him so, so much.

All of Garak's expressions are excellent.

🎵 "Happy birthday, dear Julian." <3 Was about to go !!! First time Garak calls him Julian???? because I keep forgetting it's not the real Garak 😅

Is the woman throwing the party supposed to be anyone? [Answer: no, she's a random Dabo girl]

"My, hur, tennis balls.."

"That doesn't sound like the Garak I know." "We've been through this, Doctor. I'm not Garak. I'm you." "Well it doesn't sound like me either." YES JULIAN

"Now it's time to make things easy on yourself." "Oh, you mean, just give up? I don't think so." YOU TELL HIM, JULIAN

"You didn't want to be first in your class. You couldn't take the pressure." I love how this can be interpreted as "You couldn't take the pressure of taking first place because of your augmentations" or "you couldn't take the pressure that being first might increase the likelihood of you being found out".

"Then let's talk about Lieutenant Dax. You like her, don't you?" "She's my friend." He's so protective <3

"Orrrr what, hmm?" Idk, this little bit is such a good act of an old man.

" I do have feelings for her, but the important thing is she's my friend. You know? Friend? And I wouldn't exchange that friendship for anything." I love that they've been allowed to mellow out into an excellent friendship (I'm already not looking forward to s6 again... 😅)

"This is where I belong." the little quaver in his voice on belong, DS9 means so much to him <3

It's so weird seeing him young again! He looks too young!

I thought their lunch dates were every week, but this is only two days later :3

"Their telepathic attacks are almost always fatal. I guess I was lucky." "Cardassians don't believe in luck, Doctor. You survived because you're strong." OR he survived because he has more control over his mind etc. than an unenhanced human....

"And what I find interesting is how your mind ended up casting me in the role of the villain." "Awww, I wouldn't read too much into that, Garak." He's SO soft :3

That last touch though! Julian's expectant/confused/worried pausing face before Garak speaks again.

Okay this was an excellent episode, and I spent far too long writing it up afterwards because there are so many interesting scenes to re-watch or dive into!

[eyyawe]

Heya, if anyone knows how to format this (like add underlines, add the little next and previous thing, etc) that would help a lot! Thanks!

Chapter 3

Glass

    It was later into the evening now. Aconite couldn't tell what time it was or how many hours had passed because she just sat blankly in her glass tomb. It felt like days to her. It was now apparent to her that she was placed under a glass. She barely had enough room to lie down, so she rested against the smooth, cold drink. The man slept on a nearby pallet, but something was off about him. He just kept coughing and coughing. His hacks kept her awake, and even though he was her captor, she was still worried.

    The hacks escalated to wheezing and Aconite could certainly tell something was wrong. His pale skin was now yellow, with his eyes and cheekbones sunken into his skull. Aconite watched anxiously. How much longer could she let this go on? Every loud wheeze made her stomach drop, and she tried to ignore but she just couldn't.

    While she had attempted escape multiple times before, she put off using her powers. There was only so much she could use before she became ill again. None of the other nymphs had this problem, but for some terrible reason, she was just born like it. She looked up at the bottom of the cup and the counter's ledge.

"I can do this." She murmured.

    She slipped her fingers under a small opening under the glass, and suddenly vines began to sprout simlestaniously from the ground. They lifted the cup and shattered it against the floor. She was free. She scaled down the counter and sprinted towards the pallet, carefully climbing onto the feathery surface. She approached the man's face.

    He was asleep and looked like he was in some terrible nightmare. Sweat dripped from his sallow face, and his breathing was speedy and painful. Aconite hesitantly approached his face. His staggered breath sent a heat wave over her figure, chilling her spine. She placed a hand on his forehead and began to hum a beautiful tune. As soon as she had started, his hand rushed towards his forehead to where she was. She was slammed against it, and she yelped out, immediately stopping her procedure. A loud crunch was heard from her petite body, and the man woke up.

    He tried to speak, but the only thing that came out was frantic breaths. He was choking. He held her tightly and sprung up into an upright position. He erratically brought his hand to his neck and dropped Aconite. She grabbed the nearest thing she could hold, his shirt collar. His face began to turn blue as he frantically moved around. Aconite looked down into the skin tone abyss below her and decided she had to do it.

She let go and slid against his bare chest, humming along the way, trying to keep her composure. The spell only worked if she was calm. She pinched his skin, crying, hoping that this worked and she wouldn't be killed either way if he didn't or did survive. By some miracle, she was able to perform the procedure even though her poise was completely gone. His skin began to glow at her touch, and the choking finally subsided.

    The man gasped for air, trying to slow his breath. He reached into his shirt, feeling around for Aconite, who successfully dodged his grabs and escaped the fabric. She hid under a blanket, cowering and hoping he wouldn't suddenly move to find her.

    "You- you saved me!" He exclaimed, feeling his throat.

    Aconite stayed put; he shifted his leg, bumping her with his foot. Upon the touch, she disappeared more profoundly into the blankets as he lifted them to search for her.

    "Why did you- why? I- I owe you my life. I'm so sorry for my treatment earlier. I promise I won't try to capture you again."

    Aconite considered, then stayed put, but she hadn't hidden very well, and he grabbed her. Aconite sobbed as she faced this monstrous beast before her.

    "I'm not going to hurt you. I would never- I wasn't going to earlier, and I wasn't planning on doing it this morning."

    His fleshly digits touched her exposed skin, causing her to cringe. She looked into his gaping mouth as he talked, looking at it with horror.

    "My family doesn't have the greatest track record with nymphs, but- god, I am so sorry for being so stupid. That was an ignorant thing to do. Sorry. Sorry."

    Aconite spoke up, "The water." Her voice was mousy.

    "I didn't hear you."

    "The water had a defense where if an adult touches it- they get very ill. It's a sprite's curse." She shook. "Please, sir, don't do anything to me! I want to go home, please." She begged.

    "I'm..." He trailed off. "I said I wasn't going to. I'm very sorry for treating you harshly." He crossed his legs and admired her. He was in awe at this nymph. She was unique with lavender skin and deep purple hair; her voice was beautiful even though she wasn't singing. In his eyes, she was a jewel. He brought her closer to his face to inspect her. He noted her arm was bent unnaturally.

    "Your arm. Did I hurt you?" He poked her with his other finger. Aconite moved to the end of his digits.

    "No! It's fine! It!s fine!" She shook her head. Carefully, he placed his index finger and thumb around her arm, and she looked up at him with terror.

"It's dislocated; I'll have to put it back into place. Okay?" He spoke to her softly. She nodded as her arm was forced back into position. She yelped as the pain rushed through her body.

"Sorry! Sorry! I know it hurts." He frowned, taking note of her trembling.

I feel like such an ass, he thought to himself. Aconite wiped her eyes, sniffling, and then looked up at him.

"I can go. Please, I didn't mean any harm. I didn't. That boy was sitting by the side of the creek, shivering cold. I could help! And I did for a while, then he woke up and snatched me. Please, sir, I didn't mean any harm." She pleaded with him. Her watery eyes locked onto his gaze.

"I believe you." Those words gave her intense relief.

"But I you can't go yet. It's too far for you and dangerous. You don't know where you are. I'll take you back in the morning." Aconite sighed. It wasn't the immediate freedom she hoped for, but it was something.

"For now, it is very, very late at night. I don't have anything for you to sleep in normally, so how about I make something for you."

Aconite nodded; she wondered why how his behavior had changed so suddenly from previously. The man prepared a teapot for her. The bottom was covered with a soft fabric cut from his old shirts. He carefully tipped Aconite, who, once she was immediately in, went to the farthest point away from him.

"I forgot to give you my name, er. I'm sorry. You can call me Florian." He offered a smile. Aconite nodded, and Florian awkwardly backed away.

"Goodnight-"

"It's Addy."

"Oh-"

"Call me Addy."