#but i completely agree lol

[sixteenthtry]

I know bro wrote this while pushing his glasses up with his index finger and a hand on his hip☝🏻🤓

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Well, at least Fukuzawa got his wish granted, I guess.... he's finally inside Fukuchi <3

[amtrak12]

HELP! I've fallen down a Bering and Wells hole again and can't stop watching fanvids. I misssssss them!!! 😢

[undasura]

(bouncing off of last ask) (lol) i think a majority of things i want to portray in my art are similar to the effect of "kink/fetish that is not involving actual sexual acts (like penetration) or genitals" i like forms of sexual intimacy that dont require that sorta stuff and i think thats just my personal issues w my trauma/body/etc. also i think its based

[relaxxattack]

even the word “girlfailure” is getting out of hand now. can we not just accept that women can also be intricately complicated characters with multiple facets to their personalities

[diamondcitydarlin]

'but but but male friendship and platonic intimacy are important toooo!!!'

Okay I'm sorry I've been hearing this over and over and over again through the years, it seems to be go-to response of creators/writers/actors/apologists every fucking time a possible queer M/M pairing is shafted to the side and I'm getting so tired of it.

First of all, like I've also been saying SO MANY TIMES through the years, the depiction of platonic male friendship and intimacy in media really isn't some kind of uncharted waters situation like all these people want us to believe. I would GUESS that platonic male friendship and comradery makes up at least 75% (if not more) of media created since films first started being made and that really says nothing of all the literature that preceded. Hell, 'buddy cop comedy' is a genre all unto itself and usually depicts two straight men in the main roles (not always, but when it's anything other than two straight guys it's generally seen as a subversion of the genre). I'm not saying that platonic male friendship doesn't have it's place in media and needs to be done away with wholesale and all fictional male friends now need to fuck and date each other, I'm not saying that it isn't important to show platonic queer male friend characters (more on this in a moment), I'm just saying I'm tired of people acting like 'platonic male friendship' is some kind of underrepresented, underappreciated thing in media every time someone doesn't want to write a queer M/M dynamic when you could literally select any film made between 1920 and now at random and there would be at least a 7/10 chance it depicted two or more men as platonic hetero friends as the emotional crux of the plot. Like please stop gaslighting us and just say you didn't want to write the thing, this is so stupid.

Second of all, (and this is what really gets me) most of these pieces of media that have ended up pulling the 'BUT PLATONIC QUEER FRIENDSHIP' card already fucking have male and even queer male characters as friends in the cast, outside of the relationship in question or, at the very least, have the potential to depict that with many other characters in the cast. Since I'm primarily reacting to Shadows here, I'll use that as a perfect example; both Guillermo and Nandor are friends with several other male characters in the cast, both peripheral and main. If platonic male friendship and intimacy is so important, then what about these dynamics? What about Guillermo and Laszlo's weird blossoming friendship in season 4? What about whatever it is Colin and Laszlo have going on? What about Nandor and Laszlo (though ig they fuck so maybe they don't count bc remember, sex between men is either gross or funny and meaningless)? SEAN AND LAZSLO?? What about Guillermo and Derek? (REMEMBER HIM??) Hell, what about Guillermo's friend from the orgy who ends up topping the vampire, both of whom we literally never hear of again?? Why are Nandor and Guillermo suddenly the load-bearing 'platonic male friendship' of the show when there were many, many, many, many other opportunities to depict that both with and without them? Suddenly at the eleventh hour when it was time to commit or quit to the Nandermo slowburn, 'platonic male friendship' is just so important you guys??? The math ain't mathing. ANOTHER example of this actually done well WHILE FEATURING A CANONICALLY QUEER COUPLE was Our Flag Means Death. Stede and Ed had their romance, but there were also complex queer platonic friendships and dynamics between them and the rest of the cast and the cast among themselves. So, OBVIOUSLY, we can have our cake and eat it too here, can't we? CAN'T WE??

Thirdly, it is undeniable to me that there is an element of homophobia to this argument, as whenever the 'what about platonic male friendship' comes up it's usually accompanied by the implication that IF these two male characters were to be romantic and/or sexual with each other that would somehow diminish their bond. There's always an implication that them being platonic and sexless is somehow 'purer' and we should be grateful for it, and anyone who might have seen potential for and/or wanted to see something sexual and/or romantic between them is a weirdo gross pervert, which rounds us back to the very conservative concept that sex/romantic intimacy in general is just ew icky gross, inherently impure, especially (for some reason) when it could happen between queer characters. (Which, as others have pointed out, is a weird stance to try to take for the show that had NO PROBLEM showing Laszlo, Nadja-ghost and his friend he just finished raising like a son having sex with each other as a joke- that's totally fine and hilarious, but heaven forbid Guillermo and Nandor should share a chaste kiss or something)

Anyway, the point of this ramble-rant being, I REALLY wish people on these shows would just say 'We didn't want to do that' when it comes to a potential M/M queer pairing rather than trying to take some kind of moral soap-box stance about the inherent purity of sexless, platonic male friendships (especially when the show in question had opportunity after opportunity to explore that with several different characters). It's not only gaslighting an audience of people who are WELL AWARE of what media has consisted of over the past 100 years, it also comes with the implication that romantic/sexual intimacy between men is always way ickier than the alternative AND that anyone who felt it could have happened or wanted to see it happen is gross and weird. It's rude, it's demeaning and wholly unnecessary. Just say you didn't want to write it and go, thanks!

[redwylde]

Forcing my two ultimate faves to interact by thinking about how Silver would definitely be interested in biology and the natural sciences because many original ecosystems wouldn't have been able to survive in a world dominated by fire.

In the future he was very interested in history and had to rely on books to learn about anything that came before, but whilst visiting the past he explores and follows field guides in his free time because now he can experience it all for real. Enter Knuckles, who is the most qualified person he knows to teach Silver all about the unique biomes of the world.

At first it just starts out as Silver visiting Angel Island every so often to ask questions and compare notes in his field guide with what Knuckles has seen, which Knuckles enjoys. An excuse to talk about his adventures with a genuinely interested party and they end up bonding really quickly over it. Until Knuckles gets tired of talking about books (and not all of them are correct) so he says fuck it, you can't learn everything from a book and starts taking Silver on forays into the world and shows him everything he dreams to see - ruins reclaimed by nature, entire ecosystems existing on a single type of tree, underwater worlds hidden by algae and sediment.

[bungusofficial]

hfth 174

im more opinionated here idk. beware

@whatlizardry any thoughts? 😭

4 more in reblog

[rayghosts]

harry potter could have been so good if it was good

[ruthariandbluecookies]

CLAUDIA when I- oh wait, she was being manipulated by her father and now Aaravos and just wants her family back together and is a child

...

VIREN when I catch yo- oh wait, he's dead

...

AaRAVOS when I cat- oh wait, he's a father grieving his daughter who was unjustly killed

...

THE COSMIC ORDER WHEN I CATCH YOU!!!

[isurrendertoclones]

I think an argument could be made for Skirata having (scrupulosity) OCD, what with his “I’ll only sleep in my chair” and “I won’t get my ankle fixed” things

[smilesrobotlover]

Aight I’m gonna rant about the ending of totk… again. I deleted the first post cuz honestly my opinion has changed on it and I just wanna say some things cuz a lot of people left some awesome inputs.

Now I wanna say this first, I have nothing against happy endings. I love happy endings. Zelda games all have happy endings. But they’re also very bittersweet and some of them just outright devastating. This game def has a happy ending, but it’s underwhelming to me. What I want out of totk is CONSEQUENCE. You’re telling me that Link lost his arm and Zelda turned into a dragon and then in the end everything is back to normal and things are fine and dandy? Like it’s not a terrible thing, but it feels like everything you went through was kind of pointless cuz the characters don’t seem to have been affected by it. I would’ve been less upset if Zelda at least kept her memories as a dragon, or had some dragon features or something. The light dragon was easily the best part of the game and it ended in such an unsatisfying way. YOU don’t have to agree with that statement, but it was unsatisfying to me. I didn’t like how Rauru and Sonia’s bs magic just turned her back. I can understand Rauru’s arm being there since Link was there and Sonia’s time power turning her back to her original form, but how is she just there? It’s not a TERRIBLE solution but it’s not good to me personally.

A lot of people commented on the original post that there should’ve been a quest for Link to find a way to bring Zelda back, and I found that far more intriguing than leaving her as a dragon. This game is full of fetch quests but this type of quest I would’ve loved, besides, Impa WAS going to look for a way to bring Zelda back, it’s not like it would’ve come out of nowhere. I’m sure doing this would ruin the flow of the ending, but let’s think about AOC. Terrako dies. He stays dead at the ending. But after you finish the game, you can start rebuilding him, and there’s a second ending where Terrako is back with a cute second staff credit. Totk already has some AOC influence with the character bios and stuff, so I feel like it would’ve been fine if they had done this honestly. And it would’ve been more satisfying that the player WORKED towards Zelda returning back to normal. You can have the dive that parallels the beginning and all that stuff, it’s fine. I just feel like this would’ve been a better ending to the game.

But again, I want consequence. I want Zelda to either be haunted or amazed at seeing history before her very eyes as a dragon, I want Link’s arm to not magically regenerate, I want there to be something different with the characters. Cuz to me, it felt like the characters came out the same way they went in.

Now just to clarify, this would’ve fixed the ending for ME. If you’re content with the ending I do not care. Good for you. I’m so glad you’re happy. But this overhyped game wasn’t good for me and I have so many issues with it so I just wished that Nintendo did something better with the ending. Something more bittersweet or hopeful towards a future cuz there’s none of that (I guess Mineru dies but she was already dead and only Zelda cared about that so I really didn’t care that she officially died. And it’s not like she was an interesting character to begin with).

Tldr; I wish there were more consequence to the game and I wish the light dragon had a more satisfying ending

[prince-liest]

oh my god…. prince……. you can’t do this to me. you’re saying next fic has vox getting fucked, focuses on vox’s transness (AH), AND ALSO HES ON THE OFF SEE SAW OF HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH VAL?????? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL MEE?!!?!!????? I THINK I MIGHT ACTUALLY COMBUST. and bc another anon asked abt how alastor views the violence in voxval’s relationship, i have Another thought on the matter. as much as alastor looks down on vox, they can be Very similar sometimes. they are both egomaniacs and very prideful. i don’t think vox, without outside interference, would ever ADMIT that the violence he faces is 1) something he truly hates AND 2) out of his control. he can’t admit he hates it, because then why isn’t he stopping it? that would be admitting to not being powerful enough or strong enough. and hello, 50’s toxic masculinity coming through, he CANT be a victim of domestic violence. he’s a powerful, rich, and important man. it all comes down to perceived weakness. so, the solution is to pretend he’s mostly fine with it. sure, he can act disgruntled and upset in the moment, but i don’t think he’d ever let himself take it seriously. because then he has to start drawing lines in the sand, and what happens then? will val look down on him? will he lose val? yeah, he is not risking that over a problem he mostly refuses to acknowledge exists. and as you said, this is all happening in the setting of hell, where ultra violence IS the norm, and vox himself is excessively violent. it’s the most delicious 50 layer cake of fucked up-ness.

RANT ASIDE THO. i have a question. 2. do you ever plan on having vox interact with the hotel crew outside of angel? ANDDDD what would charlie’s reaction be to their friendship/situationship/ kinda love affair. i think she could add SOOOOO much hilarity and Intense Emotions to this series. not that the boys haven’t been doing their part in that so far. charlie just intensifies everything she does, god bless her. -🌓

The "getting fucked" bit and the trans conversation bit are directly related to and relevant to each other, and frankly I'm just very happy to be out here writing the specific flavors of deeply queer shenanigans that I'm writing, and to have people actively enjoy that. It genuinely means a lot to me that I've strayed so goddamn far out of the bounds of good old top/bottom yaoi archetypes that introduced me to fandom and yet have a wildly enthusiastic audience nonetheless. So, that was my long way of saying that you bring me a lot of fucking joy, anon, hahaha.

As for everything you're saying about Vox, power, and masculinity: YOU! points dramatically at you YOU GET IT! YOU GET IT!!!!!! Everyone just read this, this is it, this is the thing. I have no notes to add. There is a reason that the main point he raises the moment he actually says something vulnerable about it (before he immediately cuts himself off) is a complaint that he's an overlord, so why—?

And with regards to your questions: I'm not gonna lie, my actual planning for 666 is usually, like, extremely by the seat of my pants. I plan nothing except, "Oh, shit, had an idea for the next one. Lesgoooo—" and that's been the case for literally every single installment. It's all just been evolving naturally and building on top of itself. So! I can't say that I plan to have Vox interact with the hotel crew or Charlie, but I also will never say that I'm actively opposed to it.

That said, I do think a lot of this fic is kinda structured around hitting specific topics that come up in intimate settings between Vox and Alastor specifically, with occasional tag-ins from Angel Dust, so I don't really know if there's anything in particular I'd like to write that I think would work better in this series if more characters got involved. But, hey! Never say never!

[anarchotolkienist]

"Zionism is just Israeli nationalist ideology" tell me in fewer words that you know fuck-all about the history of Zionism. Zionism is Jewish nationalism (and should be opposed on those grounds), but it was once entirely possible to be a convinced Zionist active in the Zionist movement and be entirely opposed to the state of Israel, to any state Jewish or not, to a Jewish state in the Holy Land, to a mononational Israel that excludes the native Arab population, and etc etc etc. It is a complex movement, and reducing its complexity is what allows Zionist to function so effectively as an anti-Semitic dogwhistle, and one of the things that permits anti-Semitism to flourish on the Left.

[maschotch]

"conservative mean girl in high school 10 years later" literally jj. I do not understand how people walk away with the impression that she's the "sweet one" of the group... if you pay even a little bit of attention to her words or actions. she's like. one of the meanest ones imo.

also to be fair about ignoring some of the shitty parts of the other characters/chalking it up to bad writing is that genuinely sometimes they'll just write the most inconsistent/out of character shit just for the part it plays to the plot. but with jj, yeah, there's bad writing, but one of her most consistent character traits is STILL mean girl and abilism. saying all of those moments are bad writing really leaves you with nothing with her sghdjgkhkh

was watching through season 7 (and some of 8) and like. I already know about the Unbearable Mother personality but. like I was really noticing how bad it was for that season. one of the only things she contributes to the profile is "maternal instinct" "maybe this is about a child" "what if they're trying to start a family" type shit... none of them are above saying dumb shit like this but it's specifically that they really concentrated it into her agdhfjkgkh

(also yes big fan of your JJ Takes™️ it may not make her more likable but it does make her actually interesting)

she’s canonically the mean girl of the group.

the writing inconsistencies always suck, but they consistently write her to be overly judgmental and belittling of others. what is left to enjoy???

for some cm characters, i honestly just ignore aspects of their character i dont like. even with my dislike of jj, i can recognize that all the “im a mom” shit is just sexist writing. it annoys the shit out of me, but i cant hold it against her

[mcytadventevent]

mungbean is creating for Day Twenty One!

Prompt: Sky / Stars

Her piece is written, featuring all of the life series members!

Credit Links:

https://archiveofourown.org/users/madame_mungbean

https://www.instagram.com/madame_mungbean

(Piece below the cut!)

 Left No Crumbs

Flurries of white specks fell from the void above. The frigid temperatures had teeth sharp enough to bite through the thickness of his coat and puncture his skin, while each breath produced a puff of fog. He trudged through dense snow, arms quivering while staggered street lights pop on as the sun sinks below the horizon. His face was numb when he finally arrived at the door of Lizzie and Joel’s house, where all the Lifers had decided to gather before Christmas. They wanted to craft, help decorate, and just spend time together in the off-season, since some of them would be busy during the holiday and some were going out of town.

After a simple knock, the door swung open to a welcoming expression. Lizzie. She was dressed in a purple sweater. “BigB! You made it!” Catching his gaze on her outfit, she stretched the sweater before her. The long-sleeve contained an abstract silhouette of a small person with wings. Various colored, mini pom poms were glued around it, and the whole thing was overly garnished with glitter. “What do you think? Pretty ugly right? It’s supposed to be an angel.” She stepped aside to let him in.

It did look hideous, but something about the placement of the fuzzy balls reminded BigB of flowers, and with it, past memories. “It looks more like a fairy to me.” He stepped past her, hanging his coat with the pile of others on the hooks by the door. Swinging around, he gestured to his own sweater. “What do you think of mine? Eh…? Eh…?”

His green sweater held drawn strings of multicolored lights across it and a melted cookie with a wonky face at its center. “Oh… it’s wonderful!” Lizzie exaggerated, gaining a laugh from BigB. Lizzie waved a hand. “The rest of them are in here.” She guided him through the house and into a conjoined dining and living room filled with laughter, bickering, light music, and familiar faces. The refreshing scent of pine danced in the air, along with a faint smell of cinnamon and vanilla.

“BigB!” numerous voices welcomed, then returned to their activities.

Grian, Scar, Etho, and Bdubs were circled around a board game on the living room floor. Behind them was an L-shaped couch that faced a fireplace and an empty pine tree. Cleo sat cross-legged on the couch, munching on a bowl of popcorn while watching Martyn, Ren, Scott, and Jimmy sorted through ornaments from a tote box on each side of the pine and placing them on a small table. A short step ladder also rested beside the tree for later decorating of the top. Behind them all stood a wooden dining table where Gem, Pearl, Impulse, Skizz, Tango, and Mumbo played various games, such as Jenga and Uno.

“Now if you’ll excuse me…” Lizzie began. “I must attend to the-”

“Cookies?” BigB finished with the peak of his brow.

“How’d you know?”

Tapping his nose, BigB jokingly responded, “My nose can smell cookies from miles away.”

Lizzie laughed as she exited the room, leaving BigB in the room of growing chaos. Martyn was the first to call him over, “Hey BigB! Want to help us decorate the tree?”

“Sure!”

Grian exchanged a smile with BigB as he passed the group on the floor. Scar flung Grian a side eye, while popping a small peppermint candy cane into his mouth, “Well, Grian? Make your next move, carefully.”

“This game is too long,” Grian complained, tossing a pair of dice on the Monopoly board and moving his metallic hat across its properties.

Scar smiled all too brightly, leaning towards him with a wink, “But we can finally have a monopoly.”

“What makes you think this will turn out any different than our previous attempts?” Grian shot back.

Lizzie re-entered the room with a large plate of cookies. She crossed the loud space, placing the dish on a small table that sat on the border of both rooms. “Excuse me everyone!” Lizzie attempted through the cacophony of voices. “Excuse me!” She waited till all heads turned to her, most of them did. “Do not eat the cookies until I get back!”

“You got it!” Martyn shouted from beside the tree. She nodded towards him and escaped the room.

On the floor, Scar was next to move his pawn across the Monopoly board when he landed on a sensitive space: Liverpool St. Station. “I think I’ll purchase this railroad,” he announced, placing his money in the bank.

“NO!” Bdubs screamed. “YOU CAN’T HAVE THAT TRAIN! THAT’S MINE!”

“Now Bdubs, that’s not how business works,” Scar crossed his arms with the shake of his head.

“HOW COULD YOU! THAT WAS MY ONLY PURPOSE IN THIS GAME! I WANTED ALL THE TRAINS!”

“So how about,” Etho interjected. “I make you a deal, Scar.”

Scar’s brows raised at the word “deal” as he scooted a little closer. “I’m listening…”

Grian perked up, “No, Etho. Don’t make a deal with him. He’ll find some way to scam you.”

Scar sifted through his property cards. “Now Grian, Etho wants to make a deal. Let the man speak.”

“I’ll trade you Vine Street if you give Bdubs his last railroad,” Etho proposed.

“Well, you see, Liverpool St. Station costs more than Vine Street. However, if you throw in Marlborough Street, we have a deal.”

“Then you’ll have all three orange properties.”

“Those are my terms.” Scar shrugged with a crafty smile.

“Alright, give Bdubs Liverpool St. Station, give me The Angel Islington, and I’ll give you both Vine Street and Marlborough Street.” Etho finalized.

Scar scratched his chin before extending his palm towards Etho. “Deal.” They shook hands, then exchanged cards.

Upon receiving his, Bdubs illuminated, almost bouncing as his grin widened. “THANK YOU ETHO!” He threw his arms around the man. “ISN’T HE JUST THE BEST!” Etho glanced away, offering no change in expression.

Joel entered the room and passed them with a tray of steaming mugs and a bag of marshmallows. Bdubs perked up, like a dog at the sound of his favorite toy. “IS THAT HOT CHOCOLATE!” His head snapped to Etho, locking gaze. “ETHO, YOU WANT ONE?” Etho shrugged. “I’LL TAKE THAT AS A YES!” Bdubs jumped to his feet and raced after the hot chocolate.

Joel set the tray on the dining table and called out for the room to hear, “Hot chocolate has arrived!”

Gem sprang to her feet, abandoning her Uno match with Pearl. As she did so, her knee knocked into the table, collapsing the intense game of Jenga beside her and causing an eruption of complaints. “Sorry guys,” she shrugged. “Hot chocolate.” Skizz stood next, followed by Tango. Skizz grabbed a second mug for Impulse while Tango got one for Mumbo.

“Hey Joel!” Ren called from across the room, positioned beside the tree.

“Yea?” Joel swung around to face him.

“We got the lights on, but do you have a piece for the top?”

Joel put a finger to his chin. “No, I don’t believe so.”

From the floor, Grian stood, puffing out his chest confidently. “Make way everyone, for I am the star!”

A handful of chuckles emitted from multiple people, while Martyn playfully responded, “Oh yeah? Then what are you doing on the floor? You’re supposed to be in the tree!”

“You’re not shiny either,” Jimmy added.

“Just watch, I’ll show off my brilliance!” Grain said, walking to a box by the pine, pulling out a strand of lights, and entangling himself in them.

Jimmy giggled, “What are you doing?”

Determined, Grain ignored him, hiding the step ladder behind the tree and ascending it. When his knees appeared above the tree, he threw his arms in opposite directions and widened his stance as far as the ladder allowed, assuming the shape of a star.

“Quick, someone plug him in!” Martyn shouted.

Joel raced to the back of the tree, grabbing an extension cord on the way. He took the plug dangling off Grian, connected it to his cord, and inserted it into an outlet—cueing a mixture of awes and laughter—and darted to the front.

“How do I look?” Grian asked, wrapped unevenly in dazzling white lights.

“Stunning!” Mumbo chuckled from the crowd of laughter that had gathered around the base of the tree to witness Grian’s shenanigans.

“Well, the tree is not going to decorate itself,” Grian urged light-heartedly.

A handful of people grabbed ornaments and placed them on the tree. Keeping his arms extended, Grian carefully repositioned himself, balancing on one leg and extending the other. For a split second, Jimmy thought he saw wings in Grian’s shadow, but he guessed it must have been the trick of the light. He watched as Martyn nearly placed a shiny red ornament on the tree when Grian glanced down and whispered, “Not right there…”

Martyn playfully said, “Oh why, all seeing one?”

Grian responded, “There’s too much red there, move it someplace else.”

The laughter continued until Tango emitted a loud and unsettling gasp. A cold breeze whisked through the room, snuffing out the only candle on the dining table. Everyone fell silent, turning to face Tango as the crackling fire laughed from the hearth. “The cookies are gone!”

“What!” Joel shoved his way past the crowd to find an empty plate on the small table that Lizzie had left them on. He placed his hands on his hips and faced the group. “Alright, who ate my wife’s cookies?”

Everyone glanced towards each other, but no one responded.

Grian stepped forth, clearing his throat. “Ahem, it looks like this calls for…”  he fisted his hands before his chest, securing a brown trench coat around his shoulders, a Deerstalker hat on his head, and straightened the glasses on his face. Removing a magnifying glass from an inside coat pocket, he threw it into the air. “An investigation!”

Jimmy rubbed his eyes, blinking a few times. Since when did Grian get a coat? Let alone down from the tree and untangled from the lights so quickly? He glanced around, but no one questioned it except for Mumbo who giggled, “Nice magnifying glass.”

Grian smiled, stepping beside Joel. “Alright. No one leaves this room until we find the perpetrator. Now… who’s got information regarding this incident?”

“PEARL WAS CLOSEST!” Bdubs exploded.

Pearl threw her hands up in defense, “Yeah, like I ate all those cookies in one go.”

“So there’s an accomplice…” Giran thought aloud, tapping his chin. “Maybe multiple.”

“It’s probably BigB,” Ren commented.

Everyone turned around, staring at BigB in his cookie sweater. He stared back at them, narrowing his eyes. “That’s just cold.”

“Skizz is looking pretty guilty right now,” Cleo chuckled from somewhere in the group. The crowd turned to Skizz. Fidgeting his fingers, his eyes widened as he glanced at all the staring faces.

“Okay! Everyone sit on the couch!” Grian instructed. People squeezed themselves onto the large couch, some sitting on the floor while others sat on the arms of the couch. Grian pulled over a wooden chair from the dining room and placed it in front for all to see. “Pearl you’re first, come sit in the chair.”

“Uh, okay.” She rose from the floor and sat in the chair. Joel flipped the light switches, transforming the room into a void where only one ceiling light cast a ray over the chair Pearl sat in, and the wavering light from the fireplace dimly illuminated the rest of the crew gathered on the couch.

“So,” Grian began. “What were you doing when Lizzie delivered the cookies?”

“Playing Uno with Scott and Cleo.”

“And then what happened?”

“Well, Scott went back to help decorate the tree and Cleo left to refill her snack.”

“Did you see either of them take a cookie?”

“Nope. Although, I continued playing Uno with Gem, so I didn’t see them afterwards.”

“Did either of you leave the table after that?” Grian turned his back to her.

“Yea, I went to the bathroom after Joel came with hot chocolate.”

Grian whipped around, throwing a finger at her. “Ah ha!”

“Please don’t start that again,” Martyn teased from the couch.

“But I didn’t take a cookie,” Pearl defended. “I came back and sat on the couch with Cleo and Gem.”

“Hmmm…” Grian rubbed a finger under his chin. “Then I call Cleo to the chair.”

~ ~ ~

“So,” Grian stood before the chair, pushing up his glasses. “What did you do after Scott left for the tree?”

Cleo stared into his soul, her eyes the look of death. “Went to the kitchen, got myself some more popcorn, sat on the couch and watched the chaos.”

Grian nodded. “Valid. No further questions.”

“WHAT?” Jimmy’s voice rang from the couch. Cleo only laughed. “But she could have easily left something out!”

“I’ll ask the questions here.” Grian jabbed a thumb to his chest. “Plus, she had to mom Monopoly for us.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well…”

~ ~ ~

Around the Monopoly board, once more, sat Grian, Scar, Bdubs, and Etho.

“Scar, stop harboring the money!” Grian complained—an untouched hot chocolate sitting beside him. “You’re supposed to give us two hundred dollars when we pass GO.”

“Uh, uh, uh,” Scar waved his finger. “You did not remind the bank, and your turn has passed. That’s not my fault.”

“YOU’RE SCAMMING US!” Bdubs attempted to swipe the money from Scar’s hand, but Scar moved it from his reach.

“You’re a horrible banker.” Grian crossed his arms.

Scar smiled. “Actually, it’s just how business works.”

Grian stared him in the eye. “Let me be the banker.”

Scar splayed his palms over his organized money set up. “No! I chose to be the banker first!”

“And I’m regretting it. Hand over the money!”

“How do I know you won’t do the same or worse!”

Cleo pushed herself up, abandoning her bowl of popcorn on the couch, and stepped between the two bickering children. She sat, squeezing herself between them and forcing them to scoot over. “That’s it. I’m the banker now.”

“YAY!” Bdubs threw his hands into the air.

Scar griped, “Ah Cleo… please don’t!” He sent a pleading expression to the man ahead of him. “Etho, tell her-”

Etho shook his head. “I’ve got no say in this.” Cleo nodded in approval.

Scar’s head drooped as he handed the money he kept from Bdubs to Cleo. “But Grian was the Bad Boy, not me!”

~ ~ ~

“Huh,” Jimmy said from the couch. “I don’t know how I missed that whole interaction.”

Grian’s eyes narrowed towards Jimmy. “Sus. But I’ll come back to you later.” He adjusted his hat and pointed his magnifying glass at one person. “Scott! Your next to the chair.” Scott exchanged places with Cleo. He plopped in the seat, arms crossed. “So, tell me your run through of the story, starting with your match of Uno.”

Scott locked eyes with Grian, reciting his story, “I played Uno with Cleo and Pearl. Left to help untangle a strand of lights for the tree, then stayed to sort ornaments with Ren. You should know, I was by the tree and your crazy Monopoly game the whole time.”

Scott purposefully left Jimmy’s name from the story in hopes Grian would forget about him, but Grian targeted him anyway. “And Jimmy was a part of that, right?

“Yes, bu-”

“Jimmy! Come to the chair!”

Scott released a sigh of frustration, and stood—arms still crossed. “What about you, Grian? How do we know you aren’t the one to blame?”

“He has a point.” Martyn chimed in. “This could all be a set up to blame someone else.”

Grian set his magnifying glass on the table of ornaments and plopped in the chair. “Fine.”

But Jimmy saw something different. When Grian sat in the chair, he sat in his ugly sweater from before his wardrobe change. No long coat, no hat, just his red sweater wrapped in a green tinsel garland. Jimmy blinked a few times. “How did yo-”

“So Grian!” Martyn stood, allowing Scott to take his place on the couch next to Jimmy. “What were you doing during the cookie incident?”

“Playing Monopoly, until I became a star.”

Martyn studied him when Impulse called from the couch, “He came to get hot chocolate.”

“Yea, he did,” Tango confirmed.

“So,” Martyn stroked his chin. “Leaving something out of the story, are we?”

Grian sighed. “I wasn’t gone that long. I chatted with BigB briefly, got hot chocolate, then went back to Monopoly.”

From the couch, Scar narrowed his eyes; his heart chipped once more. Grian’s words confirmed his suspicion. Grian had met with BigB in secret, again.

Martyn swung around to spot BigB sitting on the floor. “Can you affirm his alibi?”

BigB nodded. “We talked about which ornaments would look best on the tree.”

Scar sighed with relief. He remembered it was nearly Christmas. His mind was still stuck in the games that he forgot BigB was no longer a threat, he was a friend.

Martyn shrugged. “Seems clean to me.” He sat on the floor in front of Scott and Jimmy as Grian rose from the chair.

“Alright, back to business.” Grian adjusted the coat on his shoulders, leaving Jimmy to wonder if he was imagining all of this. Grian picked up his magnifying glass from the table and swung around, tipping the brim of his hat to face Jimmy. “Now back to Tim!” Beside Jimmy, Scott rolled his eyes—his distraction had failed. What did he expect, Grian never cut Jimmy any slack.

~ ~ ~

Jimmy shifted in the chair awkwardly, and Grian leaned towards him, magnifying glass over his eye. “What are you hiding Timmy?”

“This is just an uncomfortable chair,” Jimmy laughed nervously.

With the magnifying glass, Grian moved to the side of Jimmy’s face, less than an inch away, analyzing any change in his facial features. He noted a single bead of sweat dripping from the suspect’s temple.

“OKAY! OKAY! It was Scott!” Jimmy finally burst.

“JIMMY!” Scott shot to his feet, throwing him a look of betrayal. One Jimmy has seen before, so he knew this one was more playful than previous.

“Go on Tim,” Grian pushed, still looking at him through the glass. Jimmy had to pull his head back to avoid being touched by the thing.

“When Scott came over to help me untangle a strand of lights, he brought each of us a cookie, so we ate them.”

Scott said, “Yeah, but they were the only ones I took. The rest of the cookies were still there!”

Grian tapped the magnifying glass in the palm of his other hand. “So, there are more cookie thieves.” He scanned the couch, studying each face, eyes landing on a familiar anxious expression. “Mumbo.”

Mumbo nearly jolted. “Uh, yea?”

“To the chair!” Grian directed him with the point of his finger. “You know something.”

“Uh, I highly doubt that.”

“Mhm,” Grian pursed his lips, nodding. Mumbo sat neatly in the chair. “Now tell Mumbo, what were you doing during this crime?”

“Well, uh, after Gem knocked over our, uh, Jenga match, we played Clue an-”

“Ironic… who did it?”

“What does that hav-”

“Who did it, Mumbo?” Grian leaned closer, magnifying glass nearing Mumbo’s face.

“Um… Colonel Mustard.”

“And who was that?”

“I don’t really see how…” Mumbo trailed off as Grian came uncomfortably closer, removing the magnifying glass between them, narrowing his eyes in a fixed gaze. Mumbo’s eyes darted around the room until he cracked. “Skizz. It was Skizz.”

Grian whipped around. “Skizz! You’re next!”

~ ~ ~

“Now what’s your story?” Grian stood before the chair, crossing his arms with a skeptical glare.

“The same as Mumbo’s. I was playing Jenga, then Clue.”

Grian noticed the way Skizz’s eyes looked past him for a split second. “And your group involved Tango, Mumbo, and Impulse, correct?”

“Correct,” Skizz nodded.

“Then, am I safe to assume your whole group took a cookie?”

“What?” Skizz rubbed his arm, and avoided eye contact. “Why would you say that?”

Grian paced before Skizz. “According to Pearl, she and Gem left the dining table to join Cleo on the couch. And while I was busy shining for everyone at the top of the tree, Joel was the first to join us from the table while the rest of you straggled your way over.” Skizz glanced towards Tango who looked away, Mumbo who scratched the back of his head, and Impulse who just shrugged. “So…” Grian ceased his strides, turning to Skizz. He grabbed the arms of the chair with a glare. “I’ll ask one more time, did your group take the cookies, Skizz?”

Skizz whipped his head away from Grian’s expression. “YES! Yes we did! We, we saw the cookies on the table, and, and Impulse said, ‘Why not,’ so we each took one and ate them!” Grian straightened, brushing his hands with a “job-well-done” and a smile on his face. Skizz released a large breath, “Oh, that felt good.” And for a moment, Impulse swore he saw a halo appear above Skizz, but it must have been a trick of the single light cast above him.

Joel stood, hands on his hips, and switched his gaze between the group of known cookie thieves. “I can’t believe you all ate them!”

Tango raised his hands in defense. “Now hang on here. We didn’t eat them all either. There were two cookies left. Someone ate those too!”

Martyn raised his hand, rising from the floor, “That would be me. I ate one and took the last to Ren while Grian was busy being a star on the tree. I only saw two and assumed everyone had been eating them, so might as well finish the job, right?”

Cleo added, “Yeah, I ate one when I returned from the kitchen.”

“Me too,” Pearl admitted. “I took one on my way to the bathroom.”  

“And I took one after Pearl left,” Gem stood. “They just looked so good! And you can’t have hot chocolate without a cookie.”

Bdubs sprung up from the floor. “I AGREE. I TOOK ONE FOR ME AND ONE FOR ETHO WITH OUR HOT CHOCOLATES! GRIAN HELPED.”

“Yea, actually…” Grian faced everyone who was now standing. “I took two, one for me and BigB, then took a third to Scar.”

Joel confidently raised his voice. “I also ate one—two actually.”

Gem threw him a curious look. “Joel, you ate them too?”

“Of course!” He rubbed his stomach with both hands. “My wife makes delicious cookies.”

Silence encompassed the room as they all stared at one another…

Until Mumbo spoke. “So… we all ate them…”

“Yup.” Martyn nodded.

“What are we going to do!” Skizz erupted. “Lizzie told us not to eat them yet. We’re greedy, horrible people!”

Impulse gently pat him on the back, offering his support.

Tango turned to Skizz. “Whoa, chill out man. We’ll make up for it. No point in dwelling on the past.”

“Tango’s right,” Etho said. “We have to tell Lizzie when she gets back. It’s the right thing to do.”

An upbeat melody came from the hall. Lizzie’s hum. Everyone faced the open entryway awaiting her arrival. Their heads dropped, holding a guilty posture. Lizzie’s hum ceased not too far from them, and BigB was the first to speak. “Sorry, Lizzie, but… we ate your cooki-” When BigB’s voice cut off, the rest of the group looked up to find Lizzie with a tray of freshly baked cookies in her hands.

She burst into laughter. “I knew you’d all eat them. I was just curious how long it’d take! I made more.” She nodded towards the tray. “And there’s a third batch in the oven now!”

The lights of the dim atmosphere snapped on, encompassing the room with warmth and comfort yet again. Colorful strands of lights illuminated the hearth where a soft fire clapped, and gentle Christmas music played in the background. Was it always playing? Jimmy wasn’t sure, nor did he know who turned on the lights because he didn’t think anyone moved.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Gem exhaled a breath of relief. “I was really worried there for a second.”

Smiles stretched along everyone’s faces as they raced to the tray of cookies, thanking the baker as they each grabbed a warm cookie. When Jimmy arrived at the tray and snatched a cookie, he glanced towards Grian who was dressed in his ugly sweater once again. The mysterious man smiled at him, and Jimmy began, “How did yo-” But Grian put a finger over his lips, taking a cookie and departing from the crowd.

“There’s plenty to go around.” Lizzie beamed as she watched their faces brighten upon each bite of her cookies. “Sharing is what Christmas is all about! Now who is ready to start karaoke?”

~ ~ ~

When Scar finished his solo, he exited the designated stage area—which was in front of the couch—and returned to a spot beside the couch, beside Grian. The crowd clapped at his performance. Sweat dripped from Scar’s forehead. He wiped it with his sleeve and attempted to fan himself, but when that wasn’t enough, he removed his ugly sweater. Grian caught this movement from the corner of his eye and yelled from instinct, “SCAR PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!” He noticed the white T-shirt Scar had on underneath and smiled. They both burst into laughter, reminiscing old times.

Lizzie stood before the crowd—the tree still unlit behind her, but fully decorated—and picked up the microphone. “Alright, who’s next?”

“That’s us, G.” Joel and Jimmy rose from the couch, each placing on a pair of shades.

Grian nodded towards Scar, who smiled back, and joined his karaoke group. He, too, took out a pair of sunglasses and rested them on his head. The performance began as they attempted to sing “Jingle Bell Rock.” Each of them sang good at first, but they drastically got worse. Their voices fluctuated and cracked on purpose, attempting to reach notes they knew they couldn’t. At the end of the song, they crossed their arms with Jimmy and Joel leaning their backs against Grian who stood in the middle and said, “Bad Boys out,” before dropping the mic.

“Oh, that was great,” Cleo teased.

Martyn clapped. “It was horrendously good.”

Jimmy smiled. “We’re the only awesome band around.”

“OH YEA?” Bdubs shot to his feet. “WELL, I’VE GOT A BAND OF MY OWN!”

Joel said, “Uh huh, And what’s it called?”

“B.E.S.T.! IT STANDS FOR ME, ETHO,” he glanced around the room, laying eyes on two other people. “UH, SKIZZ, AND TANGO!” He got up, beckoning them to join him in the stage area. “COME ON GUYS.”

“Have at it.” The Bad Boys took off their shades, exiting the stage area. Grian whacked Jimmy on the back. When Jimmy looked at him, Grian gave him a smile and nod of approval as the three Bad Boys returned to the couch.

Etho, Skizz, and Tango stepped forward, discussing with Bdubs which song they should do when Bdubs raced off. He shortly returned with pointy elf ears over his own, and shoved a Santa hat on Etho. “SAY IT! SAY IT!”

Etho rolled his eyes. “Alright, just for you.” He cleared his throat, and emitted his deep voice, “Ho, Ho, Ho!”

“THAT WAS PERFECT!” Bdubs pointed towards Lizzie. “NOW CUE THE MUSIC!”

They all began the song “All I Want for Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey with the crack of their voices, “Ahh~”

Mixed reactions waved through the crowd. Some “Boos,” some “Oh no’s,” and some closed their ears while others laughed and cheered them on.

When their song ended, Lizzie and Joel had everyone gather around the tree to finally light it for the first time. Everyone counted down, “3…2…1!”

Beautiful white lights illuminated across the pine, highlighting the fun ornaments that garnished it. Jimmy glanced at Scott, finding the multitudes of lights reflected in his eyes—sparkling like stars in a vast night sky—reminding him of some distant memory he couldn’t pinpoint.

People went back to games, karaoke, and cookie eating while Jimmy and Scott stayed by the beautiful tree. Behind them, Grian horribly sang “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas,” while a group composed of Tango, Bdubs, Scar, and Impulse sounded like they were gambling over Lizzie’s cookies. His friends were wild, dramatic, and rambunctious, but it was what he loved about them.