#Sorry Forces enjoyers I hate it LOL

[redwylde]

Forcing my two ultimate faves to interact by thinking about how Silver would definitely be interested in biology and the natural sciences because many original ecosystems wouldn't have been able to survive in a world dominated by fire.

In the future he was very interested in history and had to rely on books to learn about anything that came before, but whilst visiting the past he explores and follows field guides in his free time because now he can experience it all for real. Enter Knuckles, who is the most qualified person he knows to teach Silver all about the unique biomes of the world.

At first it just starts out as Silver visiting Angel Island every so often to ask questions and compare notes in his field guide with what Knuckles has seen, which Knuckles enjoys. An excuse to talk about his adventures with a genuinely interested party and they end up bonding really quickly over it. Until Knuckles gets tired of talking about books (and not all of them are correct) so he says fuck it, you can't learn everything from a book and starts taking Silver on forays into the world and shows him everything he dreams to see - ruins reclaimed by nature, entire ecosystems existing on a single type of tree, underwater worlds hidden by algae and sediment.

[somegrumpynerd]

I love how horror & killer are so brother-vibed. <3

Me too! They should annoy each other as often as possible and wrestle like 4 times a week lol

[mr-aftons-rotting-pussy]

*takes blit of hunt** you couldve had It All......

[tea-writes19]

yes | poly!b.b. s.w. j.t.

pairing: bucky barnes x sam wilson x joaquin torres x f!reader

summary: your followers are confused on who you are dating

warnings: established relationship(s), polyamorous relationship, swearing, fluff, pure crack tbh, comedy, suggestive content

a/n: this is purely for my own enjoyment. please be aware of the warnings and pairing. don’t like don’t read. okay that’s all, enjoy :)

liked by joaquintorres, samwilson, buckybarnes, and others

yourusername: word of advice: don’t go camping with bucky

tagged: @/samwilson @/joaquintorres @/buckybarnes

view comments below

user1: oh to be y/n

user2: fr i wanna be friends with the avengers too

user3: wait i thought she was dating one of them?

user4: no lol they’re just friends

user5: nah she’s def sleeping w/ one of them

user6: sam’s face😭😭

user7: he looks so annoyed😭

joaquintorres: legend has it sam is still on that rock pouting bc we woke him up to watch the sunrise

samwilson: maybe i would’ve been less grumpy if bucky hadn’t made us hike 3 miles to see it…

yourusername: lol ok mr. i haven’t had my morning coffee yet

buckybarnes: i didn’t force you to come with

samwilson: your exact words were (and i quote) get your ass up or else

user8: 😭😭

samwilson: i distinctly remember you groaning the whole time up too

yourusername: maybe, but you don’t have any proof

joaquintorres: uhhhhh….

user9: seeing joaquin’s post first makes this comment section even funnier

user10: wait what did joaquin post??

user9: a pic of y/n looking grumpy watching the sunrise

user10: omg i’m dying😭😭

user11: same!

buckybarnes: i’m not that bad

yourusername: doubt but ok

joaquintorres: liar liar pants on fire

user12: i’m starting to think bucky is that bad

user13: frfr

samwilson: STARTING TO?!?

liked by samwilson, buckybarnes, yourusername, and others

joaquintorres: not pictured: me losing feeling in my legs

tagged: @/yourusername @/buckybarnes @/samwilson

view comments below

yourusername: damn i see how it is

samwilson: haha take that!!

joaquintorres: sorry love but sam bribed me w/ a new flight manoeuvre

yourusername: it’s ok guess i’ll just go kms😔

user14: love?👀

user15: y/n we love you please don’t kys

user16: #justicefory/n

user17: are you dating y/n?

user18: omg they’re just friends

user19: he called her love so…

user20: aw i was kinda hoping it was sam

user21: #teamjoaquin stays winning

samwilson: not pictured: how you lost said feeling in your legs

yourusername: ^^^

joaquintorres: i don’t think insta allows that kind of activity

buckybarnes: didn’t stop sam last time

user22: AYY YO WHAT??!!

user23: OH MY GOD

user24: SAMUEL ARE YOU IMPLYING WHAT I THINK YOU’RE IMPLYING

user25: i’m so confused rn…

user26: wait are sam and joaquin together???

user27: not bucky mentioning storygate tho🫢

peterparker: i love being left out😒

yourusername: pete you know damn well why you were left out

peterparker: doesn’t make my fomo hurt any less

samwilson: you can come with next time instead of buck

buckybarnes: YOU’RE GOING TO REPLACE ME WITH THE KID?!?!

samwilson: yes

liked by yourusername, joaquintorres, peterparker, and more

samwilson: this trip would have been better without bucky

tagged: @/buckybarnes @/joaquintorres @/yourusername

view comments below

yourusername: say it louder for those in the back🗣️

user28: not all of them hating on bucky😭😭

user29: like sir what did you do?!?

buckybarnes: none of you appreciate me and it shows

yourusername: i thought i showed my appreciation perfectly fine last night🤨

joaquintorres: maybe don’t take us hiking for 5 days straight next time…

user30: HELLO??? Y/N!?!

user31: y’all wanna share smth with the class👀

user32: wdym by that y/n huh?

user33: i was going to say their friend group is so wholesome but after y/n's comment idk anymore

user34: lmao fr

user35: same like didn’t joaquin call her love in a comment on his post???

user36: maybe it’s just a nickname and she’s really dating bucky?

user35: what FRIENDS call each other love?!?

peterparker: me watching everyone in the comments freaking out be like: 🫢☕️

user37: tell us what you know!!!

samwilson: gotta keep em on their toes

user38: spill the beans peter…

liked by joaquintorres, samwilson, yourusername, and others

buckybarnes: i for one had a lovely time

tagged: @/yourusername @/joaquintorres @/samwilson

view comments below

samwilson: ofc you did😒

yourusername: i liked it when you let us take a break that one time

joaquintorres: best 2 mins of my life

user39: are y’all ok?😭😭

yourusername: no :)

user40: wait a sec…are those y/n’s legs in the hammock??

user41: +1 point for #teambucky

user42: i’m starting to think it’s a throuple situation or smth bc what😭

user43: you’re so real for that

user44: are you or are you not dating y/n

buckybarnes: …

user45: that wasn’t a no!

liked by joaquintorres, peterparker, buckybarnes, and others

yourusername: morning workouts >>>

tagged: @/buckybarnes @/joaquintorres

view comments below

user50: i think a little more than working out is going on girlie

user51: ^^^

joaquintorres: wdym that’s working out too…

user52: SIR—

buckybarnes: workouts without sam >>>

samwilson: I WAS TIRED YOU FUCK

yourusername: god just kiss already🙄

joaquintorres: who says they aren’t rn

yourusername: wait you right…it’s been awfully quiet

user53: OH

user54: ayy yo what’s bucky and joaquin doing👀

joaquintorres: working out duh

buckybarnes: duh🙄

user55: 😭😭

user56: two guys working out zero feet apart bc they’re gay

buckybarnes: so close…we’re bisexual

user56: my bad

user56: two guys working out zero feet apart bc they’re bisexual

joaquintorres: there we go👍

peterparker: oh would you look at that, i was left out again…

yourusername: PETE YOU HAD SCHOOL

buckybarnes: get off your phone and pay attention in chem

peterparker: the fact you know my schedule is slightly disturbing

user57: only slightly?

peterparker: everything mr. barnes does is scary

user57: valid

yourusername: even me🥺

peterparker: especially you

yourusername added to their story —>

[caption: guess where we’re going, wrong answers only!]

story replies

joaquintorres: the moon to visit steve

yourusername: we’re flying to the moon in our favorite rocketship

joaquintorres: zooming through the sky, little einsteins!

user58: rfk jrs swear-in

user59: bahamas?

user60: so are you and sam dating?

peterparker: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

liked by joaquintorres, buckybarnes, samwilson, and others

yourusername: italy i love you and your cats

tagged: @/joaquintorres @/buckybarnes @/samwilson

view comments below

user61: GIRL WHO ARE YOU DATING???

yourusername: yes

user62: yes to who?????

yourusername: yes

user63: oh my god

user64: are they…all dating each other???

user65: quick where’s the girl who predicted this

user42: i’m here🙋‍♀️

user66: you know what, good for them

user67: get that d y/n

user68: damn girl leave some for the rest of us😭😭

yourusername: meet my friend peter @/peterparker

peterparker: wait what

joaquintorres: i don’t think i’ve ever seen bucky and sam so close to murdering each other and us before

peterparker: that’s bc you weren’t at the airport in 2016

yourusername: ^^^

yourusername: if looks could kill we’d be dead rn

buckybarnes: if you guys had taken 5 minutes longer i would’ve cannibalised sam

samwilson: man come on

user69: how yellowjackets of you

yourusername: i promise you he doesn’t understand that reference

joaquintorres: but we do and we agree

user70: damn i wanna go to italy now

user71: i can’t believe we got cap polycule before gta 6

user72: the tumblr girlies are going to go crazy

user73: it’s like destiel becoming canon again over there

user74: it’s already trending😭😭

peterparker: why do i even bother to talk to y’all anymore

yourusername: bc you love us

samwilson: atp you’re our adopted son

buckybarnes: i don’t want stark’s kid tf

buckybarnes added to their story —>

[caption: because y/n hard-launched us as the kids these days would say]

story replies

user75: please which one is teaching you slang😭

joaquintorres: yay i beat out the other two

samwilson: this is pure favoritism

buckybarnes: i didn’t see you complaining last night…

yourusername: joaquin is never going to let this go😔

user76: first ever story and its confirmation of the polycule

user76: god i love it here

liked by buckybarnes, joaquintorres, yourusername, and more

samwilson: venice (feat. y/n making us stop to pet every cat she saw)

tagged: @/yourusername @/joaquintorres @/buckybarnes

view comments below

user77: y/n is so valid for that

user78: my fav polycule

user79: i love how we’re all just like yeah, makes sense

user80: tbf it does make so much sense

user81: we were all wondering who y/n was fucking when really they were all fucking each other

yourusername: bucky said we could keep one!

samwilson: i swear to god if i find a cat in your carry on y/n…

yourusername: uhh i have to go

buckybarnes: my exclusion from the post is payback for my story isn’t it?

samwilson: good to see your brain works sometimes buck!

user82: oof someone get some water for that burn

user83: so does this mean alpine is getting a friend?

samwilson: no

buckybarnes: yes

yourusername: yes

liked by yourusername, buckybarnes, samwilson, and others

joaquintorres: we in the spaghetto!

tagged: @/samwilson @/yourusername @/buckybarnes

view comments below

yourusername: PASTA PASTA

user84: the caption😭😭

user85: i need to know the reason behind slide 2

joaquintorres: sam was yelling at us bc of the cat😔

yourusername: he’s trying to make us get rid of her

buckybarnes: he’s being very rude to gelato

samwilson: WE CAN’T JUST GRAB A CAT OFF THE STREET AND SHIP IT BACK TO THE USA

yourusername: not with that attitude you can’t

user86: live laugh love the spaghetto

user87: omg i love that tiktok😭

peterparker: i call dibs on being gelato’s godfather

joaquintorres: that’s your sister

samwilson: i can’t believe i’m a father of three

buckybarnes: i’m still not acknowledging the kid as mine

liked by samwilson, yourusername, joaquintorres, and more

buckybarnes: they complained about this trip a lot less

tagged: @/joaquintorres @/yourusername @/samwilson

view comments below

joaquintorres: i’m not saying it’s because we had running water but that’s exactly what i’m saying

buckybarnes: i still question why you joined the air force sometimes

samwilson: damn so that’s how you want to play huh

buckybarnes: i don’t know what you’re talking about🧑‍🦯

user88: please tell me that’s gelato🥹

yourusername: sadly no but i wanted to keep this one too

user89: love how y/n is petting a different cat in each post

user90: she’s one with the cats

user91: the cat-whisperer fr

yourusername: damn that’s a good pic of me

peterparker: narcissistic behavior

yourusername: you would be too if you were me

user92: you go queen!!

user93: i’m loving the self confidence!

yourusername added to their story —>

[caption: welcome home gelato🫶🏻]

story replies

user94: stop she’s so cute🥹🥹

user95: omg adorable🤍

peterparker: i love my baby sister

© tea-writes19 do not repost, translate, or copy

[feefivefoe]

This is a real fucked up snippet. I don't really like or condone it, and I see it as pretty OOC, but a fic I read made me consider it and it'll stay stuck in my head if I don't get it out.

TW for SA and pseudo incest, no names used so you can picture any of the adult ones.

Genuinely no hate if you are an enjoyer of this. It's not my thing, but I wrote it, so I can only judge so much lol

"What the fuck is wrong with you- I'm your sibling! Get your hands off of me!"

It's genuinely chilling, the complete lack of emotion on his face as he forces your hands away, restraining both your arms with only one of his.

Disgusting, feeling one of the individuals you had once craved the attention of giving you more attention than you ever wanted, and in the worst of ways.

"Huh, really? I could've sworn you were saying just the other day that none of us were your family..."

Is that what this was about? He was throwing a tantrum because you just wanted the ability to finally move on with your life-

Your heart drops into your stomach when your brain pieces together where his free hand is moving.

"Stop- stop, please. I'm sorry, I'll take it back. I'll go back to the manor, and call Bruce my father- just stop-"

"If we were FAMILY, I wouldn't have done this in the first place." It's as your begging isn't even happening. He remains stone cold in the face of your distress, your desperation to not be tainted in the most gruesome of ways. "If we were SIBLINGS, I'd never have considered it. You don't touch family like this. That would be disgusting."

It's hard to make out his face through your tears. You jerk, scream, plead. Fight to scratch, bite, rip and tear. Anything for a semblance of freedom.

But he's stronger than you are, ever could be. When your body runs out of strength, all you can do is cry harder, hoping the tears will blur out his image enough that you can pretend a stranger is defiling you, rather than a face you had seen in passing every day for years.

"But I love you. And if you won't let me love you as a brother, I'll have to find other ways to do it."

[ro-bee]

Hi!

Could maybe say something more about your Goat Realm?

What is story of Puppy narinder here?

What heretics look like here and how are they behaviour? (I'm curious about it because I love these beans. I'm all ears to any littlest detail)

How other bishops look like?

And anyway anything. I'm all ears to all ramble!

Drink your water!

HELLOOO

It is time for the goatverse yap section ! Everybody cheers!!

Anyway little disclaimers :

1_ is very work in progress... Unfortunately all my focus is on those two gay furries and not much on the world so I don't have many drawings to show :(

2_ it's heavy... And I mean there are strong themes and stuff (I'm not gonna go in details here) ... You'll see it better when I finish one of my many projects but it will require a lot of time... Like a lot, sorry... Anyway :)

Goat's world is very harsh. Here we live by the philosophy of kill or be killed very often, despite that there are some people that manage to live in piece and tranquility (example: goat's family and people that don't venerate any specific bishops or that venerate Kiran)

The world is ruled by the 5 bishops (these design are still concepts expect our beloved wolf lol)

Four of them command on different regions, Kiran being the god of death rules the purgatory

He doesn't have many followers like his siblings but he prefers it like that, it doesn't really matter to him because people souls would end up to him anyway.

His siblings have more of an evil alineament, they use their godhood for bad often, taking entertainment on their followers pain. Kiran is the opposite and witnessing his followers suffering fills him with sorrow, that's why he always gives his followers a painless death, is the last he can do for them... After all their souls gives him power :)

Anyway I think I already explained kiran's plan here , tldr bro is sad people suffer so he thinks that killing everything is a good solution

A little thing I want to add to kiran's backstory thing (idk):

I think that unfortunately we're not gonna have a ratau in this world, since Kiran's objective is to get rid of pain with putting everyone's soul to rest I think he won't let any previous vessel go away after failing (I'm not doing this because I hate ratau, he's my dad I love him so much)

So goat had no guide in what they were doing

Heretics here are just like regular heretics(?), if you wanted to know more about their design unfortunately I don't have anything with them :( I have some sketches in the comic I'm working on but I need to keep it as a surprise

Most of them are just regular people that want to survive...

Talking about people who want to survive:

Goat wasn't always this fucked up in the head, this whole deal changed them for the worst. Before the crown they lived a normal peaceful life with their family, when they lost everything they were forced to learn how to fight back to survive. So they spent many years running away and fighting back, they felt terrible at first but then it started to feel normal, almost enjoyable. Getting the crowns powers made killing people fun for them so yeah lol this is the evolution of goat going from calm Lyra player to killer machine, they have a loooooot of anger issues lol.

About the bishops... I'm currently drawing them better and they still have no name right now...

Their personality is the opposite of the canon one basically

The leshy is calm less impulsive

The geko is a prudent and a bit coward

The kraken is fearless and violent

The scorpion is ruthless and impulsive

Kiran is their older brother and loves them very much!! the feeling is not very mutual but anyway :)

I need to work a little bit more on them ngl

Aaaand I think this is all? Hmm idk feel free to ask more :)

[s-4pphics]

let the rain sing. 3 (a.a)

OHHHHH WHO UP FR😨😨

wc;cw: 3.7k, dadsbestfriend!abby, lawstudent!oc, large age gap (oc is 25, abby is mid 40s), abby is bi<3, weed, alcohol, dubcon, footsie lol, angst :(

You haven’t seen or spoken to Abby in a month, and you were dying. 

It wasn’t even due to your insomnia, which came as a shock to you in the beginning. Your exhaustion was overcrowded by shame since your last encounter with her. A self-loathing deep in your gut that nearly puts you in the ground when you recollect on your aloofness. 

You forced yourself to neglect everything but coursework to wither your desire to call her and beg for forgiveness. It was December, and you were scavenging to get most of your revisions for your thesis complete before February. You were almost forty pages deep, but you couldn’t even relish your successes due to your overworked brain conjuring up visions of a dripping wet, crying Abby. 

Your short minutes of sleep were dominated by images of her: laughing, smiling, crying in pleasure under you, but none of the enjoyment lasted. Even in the heavy moments you two shared in your subconscious, you were always jolted awake by her screaming about how much she hated you, how you used her because you're selfish and controlling and mean. 

She never said those things to you outwardly, but you knew she felt it whenever she saw you during the late hours of the night, even more so now after your last fight. You felt like a terrible person; you are a terrible person. And you looked the part. 

The dark, heavy bags under your eyes returned, skin dry and wrinkly from frowning, crying, and stressing from school. You were glued to your laptop, clinging it to your side everywhere you went like your life depended on it. Like you would completely lose all connection to reality if it parted from you. You couldn’t separate from it.

Even when your parents would come knocking on your door asking why you didn’t eat dinner with them, your eyes bored into the bright screen, the sound of your mom’s cheery voice almost sounding like blaring alarms in your head.

Your dad made your favorite, baby! Come eat!

Your father. 

You could barely bring yourself to look him in the eye anymore. You make sure to avoid eye contact when he speaks to you, turning your head down when he holds you close. You missed his laugh lines and gentle smile, but you just… couldn’t. Every time you slipped up and met his delicate eyes, you saw Abby’s. 

So full of affection and softness: their eyes felt like a warm embrace, constant and comforting. Your father always got more affectionate during the holiday season. 

Your heart hurts whenever you think about Abby during this time of year. 

Was she lonely during the holidays? Is she close with her family? You were embarrassed how little you knew about her personal life. Her attempts to bond were always stopped by hot kisses, wandering hands, your desperate pleas for shut eye. How could you be so heartless to someone as kind as her? She invited you into her home, expressed her trauma, provided you with an outlet to release your tensions, and you stole from her with greed. 

You brought your hands up to your burning eyes to rub them before grabbing your phone. You unlocked it and scrolled down to you and Abby’s abandoned messages. Remorse slammed into your gut, the slew of abby i need you please and her replies of Okay. Come over anytime :) made nausea stir in your gut. 

You should leave her be. Leave her alone. Leave her alone, leave her alone, leave her alone—

But your selfishness was too strong, and your efforts to avoid her couldn’t hold any longer. Your fingers moved before your brain could stop them, the sounds of your unclipped nails tapping against your screen. Your eyes hurt so badly. 

You sent your message before you neglected it completely. 

i’m so sorry Abigail. 

Regret sat heavy in your chest like an anchor. 

You hoped she would forgive you someday. 

Mariah Carey interrupted your hour of slumber. Fuck her and your life. 

You angrily threw your blanket off your body and dug your palms into your eyes. Sometimes, the purity of your dad aggravates your soul. 

He always loved Christmas Eve more than Christmas day. You still remember when he went behind your mom’s back and snuck your Bratz Doll set into your devious, stubby hands after Eve dinner when you were seven. 

Mama’s gonna be so mad at you! 

Meh. She’ll never know if you don’t snitch!

Your irritated inhales were swarmed with the smell of savory meats and sweet pies. You were going to eat well later, at least. 

You reached over to your nightstand and grabbed your phone off the charger. Abby never replied to you, but she did open it. Your heartbeat sped up; She must’ve really despised you, and you couldn’t blame her. 

You hoped she has a great Christm—

“ALL I WANT FOR CHRIIISTMAAAS IS YOUU— “

Your father’s joyous shouts interrupted your wishful thoughts of seeing his close friend again. 

The irony of it all. 

You tiredly hobbled downstairs after brushing your teeth. 

You admired your parents' decorative abilities: the stair railings were wrapped in green and red ribbons; they hung up stockings and fairy lights over the small fireplace and covered the small tree in the corner of the living room in their DIY ornaments. 

You followed the sounds of pots and pans clanging together in the kitchen as your parents sang along to the lyrics booming from the speakers. Their backs were turned to you, but you could see them taste-testing soups and the corners of desserts as they shared small kisses. Your heart fluttered at the sight; they’re so in love.

You made yourself known, calling out over the tunes, “Y’all are up early.” 

Both their heads whipped around to face you, instantly brightening at your disheveled sight. 

“Girl, it’s noon,” your mom called out as she returned to her stirring of the large pot. Your dad trotted over to engulf you in his arms and planted kisses to your head. You made sure to keep your eyes on the wall in front of you. 

“Merry Christmas, babygirl,” he said into your ear. You were overcome with warmth, then swiftly blinded by guilt. Tears jerked in your eyes, but you blinked them away with urgency. 

You cleared your throat and huffed a laugh, “It’s not Christmas yet, bonehead.” 

You felt a playful pinch at the back of your neck as he laughed, “Keep talkin’ trash and you’re not eating.” 

You shook your head and pulled away from him, catching a small glimpse of his mischievous grin. You would’ve broken at the sight, but you swiftly brushed past him and into the kitchen to make you a quick bowl of microwaveable oatmeal. You heard your dad bolt up the stairs with a shout of BRB!

“And what are you doing.”

You turned to look at your mom, who was watching you grab a bowl from the cabinet with her hands on her hips, soupy spoon in hand. 

Your brows creased, “What, mom?” 

She looked at you like you had two heads. “You’re gonna ruin your appetite, baby. We’re all eating soon.”

You blinked blankly, “… So I can’t have oatmeal?” 

“No, you can’t have oatmeal. Did your dad not tell you the plans?”

“Uhh… no?”

“That man, I tell you," She shook her head in exasperation, “We’re having a little Christmas party. Everyone’s bringing stuff and we need to eat everything!” 

Your heart stopped in your chest at the mention of a party. You almost dropped the ceramic bowl on the floor when your arms lost strength. You tried to hide the anxiety on your face, but your mom’s gaze felt like it was piercing through you. 

No. No, please—

You set the bowl on the counter harder than you should have, “W-Who’s… Who’s coming?” 

She furrowed her brows at you and spoke in an obvious tone, “… All our family? Me’n dad’s work friends, some neighbors. The usual.” 

You nodded and turned towards the cupboards with a pounding heart. You felt lightheaded and your mouth went dry, your throat closing at the thought of seeing Abby. You knew she was coming; You've never seen her say no to your dad. She never even denied you and you were practically strangers. 

You were certain you were going to pass out—

“What’s the matter, baby?” 

You flinched at your mom’s gentle hand on your shoulder. You looked at her, and she looked just as confused, just as concerned as you would expect. You noticed a glint of intensity in her gaze, and your breath caught in your throat. 

… Did she know? There’s no way she knew. She couldn’t know. She didn’t, she didn’t—

“I… I just feel faint. I don’t know what happened.” 

Her eyes widened in shock, “Maybe you did need that damn oatmeal. Come here, baby. Come sit.” 

You could barely get words out, but your mom guided you to the dining table and ushered you to sit before running to get some water

“One bowl of oatmeal wouldn’t hurt, I guess,” She said with a sigh, handing you an ice-cold bottle from the fridge. You never choked down water that quickly in your entire life. “Cinnamon apple or maple?”

You gulped and garbled apple before getting more water in. 

You weren’t thinking about fucking oatmeal. The thought of eating suddenly made you sick. 

You were seeing Abby much quicker than you expected, and there was nothing you could do about it.

Your quiet neighborhood was bustling. 

You were peeping out the window from the living room couch to distract yourself from your oncoming doom. Bundled-up families were making their way through the snow and onto lit-up porches, children were smiling and jumping in piles of white ice, and everyone had ugly sweaters under their coats. 

The sight was precious, but all you could think about was Abby, the image of her at your parents' front door making you want to flee. 

… Your parents were busy all day. Maybe they wouldn’t notice if you stole your keys from the kitchen counter and drove off until the guests drunkenly laughed home—

“Girl, why aren’t you dressed! Everyone will be here soon!”

Your eyes shut in nervousness at your mom’s tone. You released the hold you had on the blinds and got up off the couch. You caught a glimpse of the ugly Christmas sweater she wanted to match with you, holding yours up in both hands. You grabbed it and moved to walk up the stairs, flinching at the playful slap she gave your ass. You ignored her as she ridiculed you for being late, your heartbeat rattling your ribcage. 

… Here goes nothing. 

The sun was setting as you nervously sipped your second glass of wine, watching your family and friends prance all over your home with joy. 

After greeting all your guests, you took a seat on the couch next to the door, completely on guard as you poured more maroon liquid into your glass. You assumed sipping would calm your anxiety, but your tipsiness only added to your stress. You were thankful that your family respected your observance so you could isolate during these gatherings. 

Ugly Christmas sweaters were a theme for your block evidently. Everyone was decked in garb that had corny punchlines and ridiculously bright green and red sleeves. Your favorite cousin even had the nerve to show up in a Merry Litmas sweater riddled with marijuana leaves. Your mom, aunt, and uncle tag-teamed cursing him out at the front door. 

Your friends loved coming over when your pothead cousin was present; They never missed an opportunity to hotbox in his car. You want to join them so badly. 

Your youngest aunt had gotten tired of hearing songs about Santa, propping your youngest cousin on her hip and queuing the entirety of Tina Snow. Your mom smirked deviously as your father grabbed the shot glasses and Tequila from the cupboards. 

Your home was jumping an hour later. Everyone had migrated towards the kitchen, rotating between pouring up and sneaking tastes of your mom’s homemade sweet potato pies on the table. 

Your dad’s work friends trickled in one by one, but there was still no sign of Abby. A hole opened in your heart, and you accepted that she wasn’t coming. That your apology wouldn’t be enough to amend your relationship. 

You caught a glimpse of your remarkably high cousin waltz into the snowy backyard, and you moved on autopilot. You made your way through the dancing crowd, avoiding the scene of your dad grinding on your mom and grabbing your coat off the rack. You pushed the back door open and shivered at the cold, catching the sight of your cousin rolling up at the patio table. 

“Yo.”

He jumped and turned to face you, his eyes light pink and a lazy smile appearing on his face at the sight. 

“Don’t sneak up on me like that. What’s up.”

You shrugged and grabbed a seat in front of him, sighing heavily as you sat. “It’s crowded in there.”

He nodded along with you, sealing his blunt with a smirk on his face, “Your new friend’s fine as hell. With the red antlers— “

You cut him off with a sharp glare, “Don’t you fucking dare. Leave her alone.”

He furrowed his brows at your tone, “Damn, my bad. I didn’t even say shit.”

“You don’t have to. Whore.”

He let out a loud laugh, his Santa hat covered head flying back as he pulled his lighter out his pocket. You watched him spark the end of his blunt before puffing from it, exhaling the smoke in a spherical cloud that floated near your face. 

He wordlessly passed the blunt to you, and you accepted it, bringing it to your lips and pulling from it for a while. You felt the dull burn in your lungs as smoke filled your mouth before exhaling. 

“You got better at that. Shit.”  

You looked up at him and shrugged again, “I’ve been practicing, I guess.” 

You puffed from the lit blunt again before passing it back to your cousin, watching him mimic your previous actions as you breathed out the carbon.

He exhaled the smoke as he spoke, “How come? Is that why you look like trash?”

You glared at him, but he didn’t care, continuing, “Have you been sleepin’?”

You hesitated before quietly denying. 

His eyes widened at you. “Bro, what the fuck. Do your parents know?”

You shrugged sheepishly as you looked down at the frosted glass table, reaching for the blunt. 

He passed it to you as he shook his head, “You need to go to the fuckin’ doctor and get that checked. Have you been using aids?” 

You couldn’t help the huffed laugh that escaped you, Abby’s ribbed dick and blushing face popping into your mind. 

“Somethin’ like that.” 

You took one last good pull from the blunt before passing it back to him, your body relaxing into the cushioned chair. You watched your cousin shake his head as he pulled from the blunt. 

You two caught up as darkness consumed you, giggling at the nonsensical ramblings about his new job as a Uber driver and how much he hated living near a university. 

You couldn’t stop fucking laughing. You didn’t know how much time passed or what your cousin was talking about, but you felt light. Like the frigid wind surrounding the two of you would send you flying; You haven’t felt this joyous in months. The twinkling lights that surrounded the back door shined like stars; Everything looked so pretty. Maybe you should start smoking again—

The back door was pulled open, and it snapped you out of your colorful trance, your youngest aunt’s head poking out. 

She whispered harshly to the two of you, nodding towards your cousin's roach in his hand, “Can y’all put that shit out so we can eat?! Hurry the fuck up!”

She turned back inside with an aggravated eye roll, leaving the door open so that you could both follow her back into warmth. Your cousin stubbed his blunt out on the floor as you stood from your seat, making your way inside as you watched everyone line up for their plates in the kitchen. 

Your heart stopped and your gut swirled with nerves and want when you saw the familiar form standing by the speakers, talking to your dad. You should’ve never fucking smoked, why the fuck did you smoke—

Your head was rushing as you took in Abby: hair in two braids that were covered by a pink Santa hat, and a black and white ugly sweater covered with reindeers pooping. She was smiling as she listened to your father’s tipsy rambles, laughing as he waved his arms around in excitement. Her laugh swallowed you in slow motion, sounding like jingle bells and filling your heart with… something heavy and unfamiliar. You always thought her laugh was cute and she has the prettiest smile—

“You good?”

You jumped and gasped harshly as your cousin's voice came from behind you. You nodded in a rush, halting your gawking before scurrying over to the dining table and grabbing a paper plate. 

Try not to look fucking high! You’re not even high! Abby came, Abby came, Abby came. 

Your mind was racing as you filled your plate with baked mac and cheese, nearly dropping the large scooping spoon on the floor when your aunt asked why you were taking so long. 

You look high, you idiot! Don’t look high—

Your nose was filled with the familiar scent of roses, and you whipped your head around to see Abby retreating back to the dining table with a filled plate and wine glass in her hand. She smelled so fucking good—

“Bruh, you’re tweaking. Go sit the hell down.” 

You looked over and saw your cousin with a plate that was nearly identical to yours: a giant pile of fucking mac and cheese with some wings next to it. You want fucking chicken, too!

You walked past him and grabbed you some from the foil serving tin before making your way over to the table and Abby was fucking looking at you and there was an open seat in front of her, oh fuck—

You probably looked so fucking high when you plopped down in the vacant seat, tearing into your macaroni. 

You kept your head down, face deep in your plate.

Every time you looked up, Abby caught your gaze. 

The table was filled with drunken converse, your parents and uncles arguing over who would die in the Hunger Games first… you think. What the fuck did you smoke? 

… Abby is so gorgeous. Have you ever told her that? Probably not. 

You’ve been studying her face for what felt like hours as you chowed down your food, watching her sip her wine, watching her watch you. It made your heart race and your fingers twitch as they rested on the table. 

You were hyper aware of every move she made: every shuffle in her seat, every fiddle with her fork, every minuscule response to your dad from across the table before her eyes flickered towards you again. You couldn’t read her expressions, but there was something in her eye that terrified you. Maybe your assumptions about her hatred towards you were true. Your behavior ruined everything. You were never going to see her smile or laugh or sleep again—

The brush against your leg made you stiffen. 

Your eyes immediately flickered towards Abby: she was conversing with a work friend that you didn’t recognize, chuckling into her glass as she beamed with excitement as she listened to the tale. Another brush against you, nearly pressing into your limb. Your nipples hardened.

You shuddered with a heavy sigh, and you felt a foot slowly glide up your knee before traveling back down to your ankle, catching on your sock. Your tummy was in knots. 

Abby finally paid you some attention, reconnecting your eyes. The sparkle in her eyes sent a tight twist in your gut. It was playful and mischievous and full of want. You shuddered again when she wet her lips, her tongue peeping out of her mouth and brushing against the glass.

“You okay?”

You jumped at your aunt's voice from next to you, and you nodded stiffly. Abby's foot traveled up your leg again as she watched the interaction between you and her. 

“You sure, babe? You look sick— “

You shook your head and turned to look at your aunt’s concerned face, “M’okay. I’m just tired.” 

“You look it.” 

You could see Abby adjust in her seat, her feet going up your knee and inching up your thigh. Your legs closed around her fuzzy sock covered foot on instinct, your core clenching as your aunt palmed your forehead. 

“You feel hot, babe. Maybe you should lay down for a bit?”

You could see Abby smirking behind her glass. You hate her, you hate her, you hate her—

You exhaled sharply, “Okay— “

A sharp gasp cut you off when her foot shoved between your shut legs, the bottom of it pushing into your clothed, drippy cunt. Your clit jerked with need as you shot up out of your seat, almost tripping as your chair clattered to the floor. Everyone’s conversation stopped, eyeing you with concern as they asked what was wrong. Abby was still smirking, sipping in silence. 

“Sorry, m’good. I’m gonna… gonna lay down for a sec.” 

You turned away before you could hear your family’s arguments, your youngest aunt asking your cousin what the fuck he put in that blunt. You bolted up the stairs and shut your door, trying to ignore the wetness between your legs. 

You’re horny as fuck. You’re never getting high again. 

You heard the party pick up after some minutes before a ding came from your pocket as you paced around your room. 

You clumsily pulled it out and read the message from Abby, the coil in your gut reigniting as guilt filled your chest. 

You’re not forgiven. :)

damn this took forever my fault yall

next part gon b up quick omg abby backstory purr

omg first post in the middle of the night who up fr

taglistttt love yall smooches @ohlawdthebirds @fibrogirlie @unangelic-thoughts @chrry1ovr @uraesthete @gravygranules @digit4lslut @machetegirl109 @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @macaroni676 @sillygooselit @nil-eena @elliesgirlll @hi2647

prologue. part one. part two. interlude. part four.

[snezus-christ-risen]

I read a beautiful fic the other day that DEVASTATED me so I decided to cope by writing this fluffy Christmassy Agathario AU. They live in an apartment in the city (doesn’t matter which, take your pick) with their young son Nicky. Rio travels a lot for work and comes back from her most recent business trip feeling a little under the weather — just in time for the holidays!

Not a lot of spellings this time, sorry if that makes it less enjoyable for anyone! I just needed a bit of a break from mashing letters together and hoping they sound good lol. I’m sure you all heard the interview, you know what they sound like. (;

I had another prompt request, I’ll probably do a little follow up to this when Agatha (not a spoiler because the prompt is literally contagion) inevitably gets sick from the bioweapon that is Rio Vidal.

Part 2

Part 3

CW: contagion

Prompt: Contagious & Tissues

Agatha could hear her before she even got to the front door; in fact, it was the sound that set her stirring in the first place. She sat up on the couch where she had dozed off waiting and tilted her head to hear better. There it was again – “ASCHh!-ue” — a resounding sneeze thundering down the hall, shamelessly loud and unmistakably Rio. It was followed seconds later by another, then another. They seemed to grow in volume as she drew closer, and Agatha swore she could hear the wheels of her rolling luggage skip a beat with each outburst. Rio concluded her fit with a biting “Fuck!” that echoed down the hallway like the crack of a whip. Their neighbors hated the Harkness-Vidal family for many reasons, most of them totally bogus, but this one… well, this one was valid.

A quick glance at her phone told Agatha it was just past midnight. Forcing herself to leave the warmth of her blanket cocoon, she shivered as she padded barefoot to the front door, guided by the glow of the Christmas tree they had erected out of parental guilt. Agatha would never admit it, but she had grown fond of the giant green carcass that took up most of their living room. Nicky had chosen it himself, Rio had chopped it down, and they had decorated it together as a family. With her own hectic schedule and Rio traveling so much for work, Agatha learned to cherish the little moments in between when they were all in the same place at the same time.

She heard her wife fumbling with her keys at the door, noting the hesitation in her movements before they ceased altogether. The short-lived silence was broken by an aggressive “AH’TCHHh!” that was close enough to make Agatha jump.

“Jesus Christ, Rio,” she hissed under her breath, not looking forward to the passive aggressive letters that would be slipped under their door in the coming days.

The keys resumed their jingling and the door swung open. Rio hesitated in the hallway, eyes closed and hand still gripping the doorknob. She looked pale, exhausted, and on the verge of sneezing again. Agatha waited until she snagged a preparatory breath to poke her in the stomach, quite literally knocking the wind out of her.

“What the fuck?” Rio exclaimed, more confused than annoyed as the urge to sneeze faded abruptly. She squinted at Agatha in the dim light and rubbed where she had poked her with a frown.

“Get a grip,” Agatha snapped. “Nicky’s sleeping.”

“Hey, babe, I mbissed you too,” Rio deadpanned, hauling her suitcase across the threshold.

She dropped it abruptly when her nose scrunched up. An irritated look creased her face as she pinched it, then rubbed it, trying to find the right combination of pressure to subdue the persistent itch that was making it squirm. Her nose was cherry red, like it had been when she chopped down their tree. It kept running from the cold that afternoon, even after they returned to cups of hot chocolate in the warmth of their apartment. This was clearly from a different sort of cold.

Agatha sighed, not sure how to feel. She didn’t want her family getting sick for the holidays, but there was something sort of… spectacular about watching Rio navigate a cold. While colds always seemed to knock Agatha on her ass, Rio somehow became more energetic. Her devil-may-care attitude was rarely dampened by her symptoms, making her an asset to the virus. Nobody could stop Rio if she wanted to do something while she was sick, not even Agatha, and so she went about her usual business, coughing and sneezing her way openly through the duration of her illness without any consideration for who might be caught in the crossfire. Nicky was the only exception.

When Rio raked in a shaky breath, Agatha put her finger to her lips, a reminder to be quiet. Nodding vaguely in agreement, Rio guided her face into the nest of tissues she had clutched in her right hand and tried to muffle the sound of her sneeze. It was still louder than Agatha would have liked, but she knew it was the best Rio could do, and certainly a better effort than what she gave in the hallway.

“I didn’t know you knew how to use those things,” Agatha joked lightly. Normally she just sort of sneezed at them, if she bothered with tissues at all.

“I got a — huhh! — a c-crash course at the codvendtiond,” she said, keeping her nose in the tissues as she waited for the next sneeze to manifest. “Everywud there was sih-hihhh—hh’hihh!… ohh, I’be godda—”

“Oh honey, I know,” Agatha said with a smirk, just as Rio exploded with a pair of sneezes — “ASHH’hoo! huh’ATCHH’oo!” — that ruffled the tissues. Her smile switched to a frown in an instant.

“Babe.” Agatha’s tone was firm but gentle as she pointed behind her, in the general vicinity of the bedrooms. “Nicky. Sleeping.”

“Ugh, sorry.” Rio blew her nose, trying her best to do so quietly. “I’be so tired, Aggie…”

“Then lie down, my love,” Agatha said, giving her a quick kiss on the lips when she lowered the tissues. She was probably teeming with germs, but with them sharing the same space, it wasn’t going to matter if they kissed or not. Rio never brought something home without also sharing it with Agatha. “I’ll take care of all of this.”

Kicking off her shoes, but keeping the coat and hat, Rio took over her spot on the couch as Agatha brought the suitcase and a shopping bag inside. It was from a toy store, and when Agatha saw the action figure peeking out of the top she gasped. Taking it out, she held up the box and glanced at Rio, who was now face down on the couch.

“You found it?”

“Hm?” Rio turned her face from the cushion to look blearily at Agatha. When she saw what it was she smiled, clearly pleased with herself. “Oh. Yeah. Last wud, too.”

“Nicky’s gonna flip,” she said, already looking for the scissors and tape. “I’ll wrap it now. You keep watch.”

“Now?” Rio whined, clearly wanting company on the couch, but Agatha put a hand on her hip.

“It’s Christmas Eve,” she said bluntly. “When else would I do it?”

Rio sighed in resignation, then coughed as she rolled onto her side. She glanced at the pile of presents that were already wrapped and under the tree, her eyes watery and twinkling in the soft warm light. Squinting, she lifted her hand slightly, drew a trembling breath, and sneezed towards the tissues, the sound surprisingly soft and airy. Agatha could see the spray she didn’t catch — which was most of it — illuminated by the light of the tree. At least she remembered to use her inside voice with that one.

“You humans and your strange wrapping rituals,” Rio croaked, rubbing her nose with a wet sniffle as Agatha settled on the floor with the wrapping supplies.

“You say that like you aren’t one too.“

“Am I though?” Rio asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know.” Agatha couldn’t help but laugh. “Sometimes I wonder.”

[creepy-friday]

Love your blog! The way you write the Pastas is so interesting and enjoyable, specially the Proxies (glad you took Cody in the ecuation too, cause I like him and barely anyone remembers he's a proxy too)

Since we've already seen the boys in the female proxy au, how would she get along with other girls in the residence, like Kate the Chaser or Natalie? Whether in a romantic or platonic way

Thank you!I'M SO GLAD THE GIRLS GET SOME LOVE💞💞💞

Creepypasta Ladies x Fem!Proxy Reader

You worked with Kate from a distance since she's solo on all of her missions,her job and place in the team being way different from yours and the others

You also didn't know if she liked you because you were also a woman or she despises you because you're also a woman

During meetings she would ask a shit ton of questions about you and what you did on missions until that very moment,fuck,not even Masky is all up in your business like she is

On the rare occasions both of you meet she wouldn't greet you,she would simply nod her head at you.On impossible occasions you could get a glimpse of her face behind that mask.

I believe that if you do want to engage into a deeper conversation with her she will simply listen,but if you manage to get her to warm up to you she would vaguely say a few things about herself as well

Kate might throw a nasty double sided comment or two when there are just the two of you."Managed to calm Masky down,heh?How do you manage I wonder.." ; "sorry lady,I don't have a way with gentlemen like you do." ; "might enjoy the hell of a ride as well,you know best..am I right?"

You remind her of the few good persons she used to have in her life before she was dragged here

Clockwork was into you from the moment you stepped in the mansion tbh

Loves to tease you in both a romantic and friendly way.The fact that you're a woman in a position of power in the mansion over all of those fuckers it's super attractive to her

"Tell him to go fuck himself.What he's gonna say about it,huh?" ; "I bet I can be a better match for you than the demons of the forest,gimmie a chance to prove it to you;)"

Loves a good training with you,you're the only one who can counter all of her attacks,you really set her heart on fire

"You're a top bitch here,all bark all bite.Say,what would you do if I caused shit around here?;);)" she has no shame and will flirt with you every chance she has.If you ignore her remarks she wouldn't hold back,BUT if you do give her a chance she would further step her game UP

The nurse Ann barely talks overall and only engages into business conversations with you

If you have any "lady health problems" she would be the one to have your back like her life depends on it tbh

If you look around for Jack when she's in the infirmary she would simply assume you either don't like her or have a thing for male doctors lol

"No cannibals around,just good old me." she said,legs crossed facing you.

When you tried to make small talk with her she stopped you "you don't have to force yourself.We're just doing our jobs.Besides,the tension makes your veins harder to look for.."

Zero will start shit with you every chance she has.Fighting,blaming,shit talking,you name it,she would do everything in her power to try to bring you down and cause a violent reaction out of you

Does she get along with Masky because of this?Hell naw

Is it jealousy?a love-hate relationship?it's very hard to make the difference

On some occasions,she would act all nice and sweet,super flirty with you, and if you make the mistake of thinking she has good intentions with you she would degrade the living hell out of you

Despite the others,she doesn't trust you to have all of the power Slenderman trusted you with.She sees you below her and wholeheartedly believes she should've been in your place maybe with you sitting on her lap or something

She doesn't stand Clocky but still wants to be on her good side because she sees potential in her.Natalie knows this,but her boredom causes her to engage into Zero's little games

Jane observes you from a distance.She respects your job and how you manage to calm shit down,you're really one of the few persons she could look up to if she's honest

If only you weren't so busy with proxy duties she would come forward to you and warm up more

She would adore the tought of the two of you drinking tea in her room,simply enjoying each others presence while talking about matters both of you can't control

Jane would notice if one lock of your hair isn't in the right place but she wouldn't tell you if you're closer to her,instead,she would simply gently fix it

She gives me mommy vibes

Nina sees you as her best friend,you are the one to tell if it's one sided or not.The way you move,act,and manage to do it all amazes her..you are both a mentor and a friend to her.

She could talk the whole day about how amazing you are,and she actually has a few pages in her journal with notes about you

The girl can be like that one annoying kid at the park that gives you all of their toys just to spend time with them lol

You inspire her and she genuinely believes you make her a better person-a better woman.She lets you know this and even if you don't believe her,your existence deeply had a positive impact on her mental health

[theluigianapurchase]

saw ur post about trans race and !!!!!!!! I have SO MUCH to talk about headcanon-wise!!!!

omg omg omg hi!! Ftm race is so important to me

so a lot of my trans race hcs are sprace adjacent but idk if ur a sprace enjoyer so ill give the general ones but if you are a sprace enjoyer (1. Be my best friend) and 2. I can make a separate post

He knew he was trans from a young age, pretty much always rejected being a girl

Once he was around 4ish his parents gave up on even trying to force him to “be a girl”

His mom died when he was 6 and after that his father went down a rabbit hole of dispair and became a heavy drinker and verbally (rarely physically but it still happened sometimes) abusive

He ran away at 8 and was living on the streets for a week before Jack found him

AND THUS HE BECOMES A NEWSIE

He hides the fact that he’s trans from the newsies

He gets his period at 12 and sence he lives with mostly boys he panics (he knows what periods are but it’s not a shared experience with most of his friends)

He just stuffs toilet paper in his pants and that’s his method for the first year or so of having his period

Since he’s a newsie and has little access to regular meals his period is always pretty light anyway because of a lot of exercise and little food

When he’s 13 he bleeds through his sheets and Albert finds out

Race makes him swear not to tell anyone

Albert’s really bad at keeping secrets and accidentally lets it slip to Jack

Jack is super supportive and gets him some proper period supplies

Unpopular Opinion: I actually don’t think a lot of the newsies were trans i think race (and Romeo but for Funsies) were the only manhattan newsies that were trans

(Next few are sprace related I’m sorry but i can’t help myself)

Race and spot start seeing each other when race is 15 and spot is 16

Race doesn’t immediately tell spot he’s trans

He’s really nervous to tell spot

but when he does spots like idc (in an i love you way ofc)

Brooklyn has a few younger ftm newsies and Race is a role model to them

Hes stealth with a lot of newsies not on purpose but just cause he forgets that they don’t already know/forgets that it’s even a thing lol

Dysphoria wise: He really hates his shoulders (me projecting??? Neverrr) and he hates his period more than anything

[keztis]

my thoughts + feelings about survivor after finishing it on stream with @techniiciian and grabbing the extra databank entries for additional context.  i wrote this for my IRL friend ( hi brian ), and because i’m writing a mainly JFO!cal, i felt i owed it.

this is a long post! starts off a bit goofy but it gets more serious later down the line. i talk a little bit about everything here, and while i do criticize various main characters, please keep in mind i'm well aware much of the conflict in JS is contrived. my commentary / criticism is out of love. and, well, JS having four writers instead of JFO's one kinda forced my hand lol if you want to know my TLDR thoughts, scroll to the very end and just read the last section / three to four paragraphs.  i’ve also added large subheadings for easier navigation!

Where the game began spiraling for me: Dagan’s death.

Dagan, overall?  Wasted potential.  Jesus Christ, such wasted potential.  Was he even a bad guy???  What the hell?  ( kt, idk if you’re reading this, but i’m so, so sorry for spelling your boy’s name wrong the whole time we were chatting lmfao )

Dagan and Cal wanted the same thing, and I find it so weird how the writers refused to acknowledge that.  As the player, I feel like we kinda low-key had no fucking idea why we were fighting this dude 💀  The writing didn’t exactly make it apparent, and it didn’t help that the only direction they gave was through Cal’s dialogue repeatedly telling everyone ( us, the player ) that Dagan is bad.  Ooooh, look at how angry and violent he is!  It isn’t as though he’s confused, disorientated, and absolutely furious after waking up in an entirely different era or anything.

We learn it’s nearly 200 years later for Dagan, and now he wants Tanalorr because… that was his discovery.  This’s personal.  Okay, fair.  And then what??  Well, turns out he’s also merciless, has killed other Jedi, and experienced profound betrayal ( including from a loved one ).  A’ight, should I feel sorry for him now or—?  Yeah, he’s been through some serious trauma.  But so has Cal.  Dude, go sit in a corner and think for an hour, pal, I swear you’ll feel better.

It’s actually hilarious to me that not even more information regarding Dagan’s past helps us better understand his current motivations, and that’s entirely because his motivations are: 1) fundamentally the same as Cal’s, yet also somehow completely incompatible. 2) weak.

All jokes aside, despite everything Dagan did, he never struck me as truly irredeemable.  I genuinely believe that if he’d been given time to process everything, properly, he could have been reasoned with.  But the sad reality is he never got that chance.  Feels like the second he bled his crystal, the writers decided he was a villain—because that’s the exact point at which Cal wrote him off.

Bled your crystal? Automatic bad guy.  Can’t be saved.  Gotta kill him now.  Wow, that’s not very Jedi of… anyone. But nuance be damned!  The bitch has got to die, I guess.

Never mind the fact Dagan didn’t fall completely, so to speak; Dagan was never a Sith.  No Sith eyes, no true descent into darkness.  That alone was a dead giveaway that he was still redeemable.  But sure, let’s not even try.  Forget reasoning with him and jump straight into battle because that’s totally what Jedi do.  Fight first, ask questions later.  No negotiation, no attempts to find peace, only the immediate acceptance of the so-called “inevitable.”

Dagan and Cal should’ve joined forces to face the Empire.  That would’ve been so badass.

Then, we have Bode.

Bode, the second villain, as though this game ever needed a second villain when the first one barely got enough development.

( He should’ve been DLC.  Just saying ).

From what I’ve seen, you either hate this guy or love him.  Overall, it seems a majority land in the latter camp, and that alone fascinates me.  I can’t help but feel most of those players are casual Star Wars fans, surface-level enjoyers who have seen the movies before, maybe play a game or two, and move on.  ( No shade, of course.  I’m like that with other franchises, too ).  Or they just don’t like or care for him—which is actually super valid, too. 

However, the more dedicated fans who know the universe lore in detail, Bode’s entire story—including everything from the game databanks—and still hate him for his motivations?  Yeah, I’d wager these are the same people who despise Anakin for being “whiny” and “annoying” while refusing to acknowledge his mental health / trauma(s) or the years of grooming and emotional manipulation he underwent etc. Yet they worship Vader because he’s a badass Sith lord.

Like, tell me without telling me you have the emotional capacity of a baked yam.  I’m looking at you, Survivor subreddi.t.

I might be huffing copium here, but I guess too much exposure to Reddi.t would nuke anyone’s hope for humanity.

Anyway. If the writers wanted to create an anti-villain, well, there you go.  Nailed it with Bode.

Anti-villains have noble characteristics, values, and goals, but how they strive for those goals is often questionable — or downright abhorrent. Like traditional villains, anti-villains stand in the way of the hero’s goal. But unlike a traditional “bad guy,” the anti-villain isn’t necessarily evil. — Reedsy Editorial Team

Now, I’ll admit, I know I’m biased about Bode.  The fact that they introduced a South Asian character with dark skin?  That’s huge. Asian culture has been blowing up in the West for the last couple of decades, and nobody seems to like or want to even think about the existence of dark-skinned Asians. They so often get left out of the general conversation.  I also love how Bode is big and tall instead of going with the stereotype that all South Asians are tiny and short!

NOTE: I’m East Asian ( chinese-japanese mixed ) with pale-white skin and have a brother and father with “culturally unacceptable” dark skin, so yes, I’ll openly admit I feel some type of way about seeing a man like Bode in my favorite franchise.

But if I remove my biases from the picture?  I’m sorry, but Bode isn’t the bad guy the story writers desperately wanted him to be, just like how Dagan wasn’t, either.

Same shit, different character.  They really wanted you to think Bode was a no good, rotten little son of a bastard.  Look how selfish he is!  Look how he’s willing to sacrifice everything for his daughter!  What a terrible person, right?  He’s just the worst part of this game, says Reddi.t. You know, the same Reddi.t that would die on a hill for The Last of Us and their entire story concept about a father who would do anything for his adopted daughter, even if that means dooming mankind.  But sure, let’s boil Bode down to being a blind, selfish idiot.

Sorry, sorry—okay, so, many characters fucked up multiple times in this game, but I’m pretty sure if you asked the average player about Cal’s role overall, they would be like, “he tried his best!”  And yeah, I agree to a certain extent that he did, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t also make mistakes that led him to this point.

To start, Cal sucks at communication.  No two ways about it.  And I don’t mean sucking at conversation about difficult feelings.  I’m talking about Cal’s “Crew Mentality” rendering a lack of consideration for others, such as those who have nothing to do with the Jedi Order and may not want to get dragged into a fight not their own.  Just because someone joins the Rebellion doesn’t mean they’re signing up for the Jedi cause.

For all the times the game reiterates through story beats that Cal is empathetic and merciful ( Ninth Sister & Rayvis )—and yes, I believe he is—I think he actually starts lacking in this very department after a certain point.

Let’s be real, Cal never actually talked to Bode.  No one did.  He promised Bode a safe place, hyped up the idea of a peaceful future on Tanalorr, even fantasized about it with him.  Then, right at the final stretch, Cal flipped the script and brought the most dangerous aspect into the picture: the Empire.

They could’ve talked about this, sure, and I agree it might not have gone well for obvious reasons, but I’ve seen way too many people shit on Bode’s motivations.  That, and he’s a dumbass for betraying or not fessing up.  Man, try looking at it from Bode’s point of view.

The power dynamic between them is beyond skewed.  Cal had all the cards.  He’s tucked away in a secret hidden base, surrounded by powerful allies, including a close friend and Jedi master who has the knowledge and technical skills to repair the only compass.  Meanwhile, Bode had absolutely nothing.  No leverage, no backup, no safety net.  You could argue that he has only himself to blame for the impossible position he’s in, but his story isn’t that straightforward.

We don’t even discover this until later, but Bode never wanted to work for the ISB, much less answer to Commander Denvik.  After the death of his wife, Bode was just a man desperately searching for safety where there was none.  With the Empire and the Inquisitorius closing in, there were no options left.

Yes, he willingly sought help from Denvik, an Imperial.  But how could he have known that choice would ultimately enslave him?  Denvik used the safety of his daughter and even the mystery of his wife’s murderer as a chain to constantly keep him in check.  Denvik didn’t just manipulate him, he owned him.  So, trapped and with nowhere else to go, his daughter’s safety always came first.

Bode desperately wanted an out, and Cal had become his family’s ticket to freedom.  You could tell Bode was genuinely on board with the whole idea of Tanalorr.  He believed in it.  Believed in Cal.  Right up until the final battle with Dagan, when Cal blurted out, “Maybe Dagan was right.”

Also, great.  Fantastic start, buddy.  Nothing like suddenly agreeing with the “villain” you killed five seconds ago to instantly put a guy on edge.

The same villain who just used a Force Illusion to scare the living shit out of you two with realistic visions of your worst fears, to the point where Bode even said out loud, “Please.  Tell me this is real.” He later told Cal that he saw Kata, alone, stormtroopers about to break down her door. Wouldn't you think something like this would rattle a normal guy with no apparent Force connection? There were signs both for the player and Cal. Just saying.

Alright, indulge me for a second.  Put yourself in Bode’s shoes.  You’ve been working side by side with Cal, putting in real effort, all for this one goal.  And just when you finally get there, Cal takes his share and more.

Bode expecting his fair share wasn’t unreasonable; Bode thinking the reward table wouldn’t randomly change wasn’t unreasonable.

Cal didn’t give him room; he didn’t consider Bode’s thoughts and feelings at all—yet during the evening before everything went sideways, he had the wherewithal to comment on Bode seeming troubled.

Bode even acknowledged it, saying, “You know me too well, Scrapper,” which should’ve been more than enough to raise a red flag.  Hell, Bode’s characterization in the game thus far has been positive, so why not pursue the matter?  Why stop short here?  If my friend admitted they were upset for reasons they couldn’t quite articulate, then gave me a hug—something they don’t normally do—my concern would’ve shot through the roof.

But Cal just pushes back with the same responses, aka what he wants to do.  It’s a little careless to assume everyone will be on board with what all you do, if not blissfully ignorant.  Oblivious.  Naïve.  Doesn’t matter what you call it.  Cal doesn’t follow up that night, doesn’t check up on Bode despite all the signs pointing to something being wrong.  So wrong, in fact, Cal noticed it.

In hindsight, you have to wonder how badly Bode was struggling.  He was once a Jedi Shadow, later turned Imperial spy; he’s trained for all his life to conceal himself, mask his emotions, and play whatever tailored roles necessary to survive.

It’s frustrating… but honestly, not surprising.

Cal is young.  He’s grown tremendously, but he’s still just a kid at twenty-three. And I understand he isn’t anything close to a father, so I don’t expect him to fully understand Bode’s perspective as a parent at all.

It’s the lack of trying that killed me.  You don’t have to walk miles in someone’s shoes to understand where they’re coming from.

Overall, Cal exhibited tunnel vision throughout Survivor. He obsessed. Focused on what he, alone, wanted.  Something the story harped on for about two seconds, then promptly forgot after Dagan’s death.  As if Cal wasn’t still exhibiting the same problem.

PS: After the betrayal and during the pursuit, the fact Cal screams at Bode, “We fought for that together—and you're just gonna hand it to the Empire?!” is kinda crazy when you could say the same from Bode’s point of view. They fought for that together, and Cal is just gonna hand it over to the Hidden Path.

And then there’s Merrin.

So, this part isn’t so much a critique of the story itself, but more about how I feel about her in Survivor.  That said, I’ll circle back to the story stuff in a second.  First, I’ll lay my cards on the table: Merrin was easily one of the best parts of the first game.

After beating the FO on stream with Aerielle, we kinda hoped Merrin and Cal would get together.  We were low-key pulling for it, and we’re the type who dislike seeing every movie/show/game forcing romance into picture.

However, I’ve had some issues with Merrin ( and Cal ) throughout Survivor.  Things that… didn’t sit right.  For starters: the weird push-pull dynamic between her and Cal after the first kiss.  It wasn’t just awkward; it felt uncomfortable.

Then, there’s that weird dialogue exchange in the Mantis where she essentially shat on people for uprooting their entire lives in search of something better.  She had the nerve to call them “greedy” for all their “backbreaking” labor.  And those are her words, not mine!

I remember blinking at my monitor because holy shit, five years of traveling the galaxy, growing as a person, and this is where you landed??  What the fuck is going on with some of the casual dialogue they gave her??  Hello?????

Anyway, post-betrayal Merrin.  Good lord.  The way Merrin kept pushing Cal after Bode’s betrayal was… not great.

Aboard the Mantis, after touching down on Tanalorr, Cal asks Merrin what they should do—as in what they should do with Bode afterward.  This was Cal looking for guidance; he needed guidance.  Merrin’s response was exactly what you’d expect: no-mercy mindset, to pay back in spades, and “not let them down,” as she stated in-game.  She pushed for this several times.

Hell, Merrin even yelled at him while they were running towards the temple on Tanalorr, saying Bode must pay for what he’s done, that he used fatherhood simply as an excuse for betrayal and murder.  Cal had paused, seemingly uncertain and hesitant, before reasoning that they should give Bode a second chance for Kata’s sake.

This should’ve been pressed upon, not thrown in during their short trek to the temple.  Her words should’ve weighed on his moral compass.  Vengeance, even the thought of it, should’ve slammed over his head like a hammer.

There’s a key conversation between Cal and Cere in the archive.  He asks about her connection to the Force and the dark side, and Cere openly admits she still struggles with it each day, that whenever she feels weak, she thinks of Cal and Trilla and remembers she still has a choice to do better, which gives her strength.

As they close in on the temple to confront Bode, Cal talks to Merrin about his struggle with this “strange” new side to himself ( referring to the moment with Denvik when Cal lost his temper, and Merrin questioned, “Who is this?!” ), his anger towards Bode, Cere’s words of warning—like they both somehow don’t know what the fuck the dark side of the Force looks like.

Merrin responds with, “Cere won her battle with the dark side.”  Like straight up says that verbatim; I looked it up.  Cere did not overcome her darkness, and that was explicitly told to Cal / the player.

Either Merrin made some wild-ass assumptions about her late friend or isn’t aware of how the dark side can affect a Jedi.  And she doesn’t, by the way—not completely.  Merrin uses dark magick.  The magick Nightsisters utilize is rooted in darkness.  This is canon Star Wars lore, legends included.  Of course, she would have no idea about the nuances of the Force from the lens of a Jedi.

Maybe worst of all?  The scriptwriters forgot they wrote that bit with Cere.

Merrin’s response isn’t just a bad line—it undermines her role in the conversation and comes off as somewhat manipulative, especially when it follows so closely after her insistence that they must even the score and kill Bode. It almost felt like a strange platitude, like she was trying to reassure him with a “it’s okay, this happened” kind of statement, when, well, it really isn’t.  This shouldn’t be brushed off.  It should be at the forefront of their minds.

A general lack of understanding regarding the Jedi makes the most sense, but it doesn’t make the exchange any better.  Cal was clearly scared.  Why else would he bring it up?  I like Merrin a lot, but it was odd of her to so quickly brush aside his deepest fears with an inaccurate statement about something she likely may not fully grasp.

At the end of the day, I get it.  Really, I do.  Merrin was furious and grief-stricken.  I also completely understand this “avenge the lost” perspective from a Nightsister.  But Cal isn’t a Nightsister.  Cal is a Jedi.

But he’s going to listen to Merrin.  She’s one of the last people he has left.  And at this point, Cal has been drowning in grief and anger for so long that there’s no one left to pull him to shore.  No one is able to understand him as a Jedi.  Realizing this… was sad.

I love Merrin as a character, but I don’t think she’s what Cal needs right now.  Not like this—not in this aspect.  She can say these things and even act on her emotions if she wants.  All of this is super fitting for her character and as a Nightsister, but not for Cal.  The Order may be gone, but that doesn’t change who he is and what he still believes himself to be.

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.  A Sith will never concede.

Jedi are peacekeepers.  They will always seek compromise over conflict.  

The Sith see this as weakness—but that’s the difference.  A Jedi will always choose peace over violence.  Life over death.   Mercy over vengeance.

Then, there’s Cal at the end.

Look, Bode wasn’t innocent.  He wasn’t a good man.  He murdered Cordova in cold blood, stole the compass, and led the Empire straight to Cere’s archive, an act that cost hundreds of lives.

This databank entry in the game: “As they fight through the Lucrehulk, Bode realizes his feelings for Cal are now more than an act, a revelation that is fleetingly joyous, then crushingly frustrating,” is heartbreaking to me.  Bode didn’t want to betray Cal, and he struggled with this decision alone.  There are several more enlightening databank entries, and it’s all so, so tragic.  Yet it changes nothing.

At best, Bode is an anti-villain.  At worst, he’s a heartless traitor.  And yet… I can’t shake the feeling that he deserved more in the end.

I don’t want to sound overly sympathetic towards Bode, and I’m not saying the writers should have spared him.  His death was inevitable.  But the sheer cruelty from everyone—the main protagonists included—left me utterly speechless by the end of the final battle.

You can’t corner a frightened animal and expect it not to bite you.

You can’t say “she will be safe,” “it’s over,” and “lay down your weapon” and think it won’t further alarm an already panic-stricken man.  You can’t take the one thing a man cares about more than anything else in the galaxy—his anchor, his reason for living—and hold it hostage, then act surprised when he snaps in half.

You can’t take a man’s daughter and expect him to believe you won’t use her against him.  Not after Commander Denvik.  Denvik, his former colleague and handler from the Clone Wars, who reduced Bode to an indentured servant.  Who dangled the illusion of safety—with a single condition: become a weapon for the Empire.  Serve the very beast that killed your wife.

You can’t keep using a man’s daughter as a bargaining chip without him becoming hysterical.  Yet Merrin and Cal kept pulling Kata back into the fray.  As though Bode didn’t already know the stakes.  As if he didn’t already understand this might be the day he died.

Bode didn’t want his daughter to see him die.  Yet Merrin kept dragging Kata back into the danger, instead of getting her to safety.  What an unbelievably heartless role to give her.

Aerielle asked me why Merrin would do that, provoke Bode with Kata in a way that only escalated the situation. I reasoned that maybe she was scared to leave Cal for longer than necessary.  Save the kid, then jump back into the fight.  I’ve tried being charitable about this scene, but I have no words for what came next—because Bode did exactly what Merrin and Cal had been doing with Kata throughout the fight: endangering a loved one.  In this case, Merrin.

Cal’s initial shot wasn’t lethal.  Although Bode was down, bleeding out, survival wasn’t off the table.  It’s possible he could’ve made it.  They could’ve talked.  Hell, even locked him away, forced him to face what all he had done.  But Cal took one look at Merrin, recalled all of his fear and pain, and then murdered a man.

Jedi do not seek revenge.  They don’t “avenge” the fallen.  Jedi grieve, trust in the Force—and let go.  They don’t carry anger and pain and let it fester into justification.  That is the path to the Dark Side.  That is the way of the Sith.

This is the most unbecoming behavior I’ve ever seen from Cal, and it’s so sad to see him stumble this far from where he was in Fallen Order.  I can’t believe his moral compass from five years ago is stronger than his current one.

Cal chose poorly in the end.  And he has no one—and I mean no one—to tell him otherwise.  Cere and Cordova are gone.

And yes, I’m well aware he’s deeply traumatized and lacks proper Jedi training to handle these aspects of himself.  Cere tried, but five years was not enough time, and the conditions for his training weren’t exactly ideal.

I’m not saying any of this is easy because it isn’t.  But that doesn’t make it any less painful to watch.  I understand this is part of his journey.  I just wish he hadn’t taken this road.

Because what is pain but a story of mercy?

Then, there’s the final scene.

Cal saying “I almost lost myself” after doing everything a “fallen” person would do ( blind rage, force choke, threaten murder, then actually murdering someone ) is absolutely rich.  Yeah, you fell.  Did you fall completely?  No.  You touched the dark side. Dipped your toe into the chasm and felt its instantaneous pull.

I’m pretty sure if you asked a casual player, they would say Dagan fell.  I mean, Cal himself called Dagan a fallen Jedi.  They’d probably say Bode fell, too, given everything he did.  But Cal did much of the exact same shit they had, sans bleeding his crystal.

Sorry, buddy, but you’re acting just like them, and it appears you don’t even fully realize it!  Because no matter how you hack it, Bode’s death doesn’t fall into the definition of a mercy kill!

How incredibly blinded he is by grief and loss.  He’s straying far from the path, yet he still calls himself a Jedi, even after everything he’s done.  At this point, I don’t believe his concept of a Jedi is the same anymore.  His perception of the Jedi and their ideals have been irrevocably warped by his experiences.

The way I see it, Cal’s decision to murder Bode feels akin to Anakin’s slaughter of the Tuskens.

Completely different scale of violence, I know, but hear me out: the Tuskens took Anakin’s mother, the most important person in his life at the time.  His fear and anxiety built up over months, and no one listened when he tried reaching out.  They turned him away, advised him to deal with his attachments—the supposed root cause of his trepidation and paranoia.  In his eyes, Anakin lost his mother because of their indifference, because they ignored what he knew to be true, so he snapped.

Anakin lost himself; he massacred an entire Tusken village.  Afterward? He was a sobbing, broken mess.  He sought vengeance, gave in to rage, and recognized what he’d done.

Cal murdering Bode?  He justified it.  Didn’t blink twice.  That’s what unsettles me the most.  I can’t tell if this is dogshit writing or if they’re setting him up to become a so-called Gray Jedi or whatever—but even the concept of a Gray Jedi doesn’t fit in this context.  Cal committed an objectively horrible act—and he doesn’t even recognize the cruelty of his own actions.

Falling to the dark side isn’t like stepping off a cliff.  It’s a slow descent.  It’s one step at a time, each one feeling like it’s justifiable until you’re suddenly free-falling into an abyss.

In the final scene, while standing on that cliff, Cal confesses to the Force ( or Cere ) that he’s afraid of what’s ahead.  And you know what?  I believe him.  Five years of hardship didn’t thicken his skin—it thinned it.

BONUS:  also, the writers somehow failed at writing a fucking child.  You wanna tell me this lil baby toddler cried over her mom’s death for years but didn’t shed a single tear for her father?  Must be a psychopath child then ( /j ), because holy shit, you just saw your dad get beat up and murdered in front of you, and you’re chill with it.  Even warmed up to your father’s killers within two seconds.  Okay then.  Very cool.  Nice little creepy pseudo family ya got there.  Fuck that particular part of the game.  That’s just fucking weird, man.

I love this game. I hate this game. I love this game. I hate this game.

[sky-kiss]

A/N: Have writer’s block on my actual story so bad I wanna punch an emu. This is for me lol. This is self-serving. Bad ending, murder ending, sad times, everyone is miserable in Hell ending. 

_____

RxF!Tav/Durge: Hopeless

_____

"How on earth did you survive this place?" 

The spirit arches a brow. He doesn't say a damned thing; he lingers by the window of the little shack. He feels nothing at all, drifting outside the confines of her body. She thinks that's why he's left. It's more enjoyable to watch her suffer. 

Joi frowns and pulls her knees close to her chest, hungry for warmth—the tiefling longs for the fires of Avernus, any other Hell. Gods above and below, Stygia would prove a welcome change of pace. But Cania? Cania is miserable, misery. 

And Raphael survived it. Thrived for so many centuries.

And you brought that to an ignominious end, didn’t you, pet?

"You can't stay mad at me forever," she whines, perfectly aware that he can. He's been silent for the better part of a half year now, speaking up only to bark orders or demand control of her body. Raphael scowls, turning away. 

She's not made for silence, certainly not for this crushing loneliness. It feels like hooks in her flesh and spirit, dragging her downwards. Joi longs for laughter, for life, for anything other than fucking stillness. The bhaalspawn drags a hand through her hair and bites the inside of her cheek hard enough to draw blood. At least it's something, a feeling, more than just cold. 

"I hate it here," she spits, petulant and angry. 

"Then why did you come, little mouse? To complain? You've done that well enough." 

His voice is rough from disuse. Joi glares at his back, looking away. What's there left to say? The apology rings hollow. She won't mean it. Baldur's Gate needed saving. The cambion refused to budge. An unstoppable force, an immovable object…no coexistence…

She sighs, tail curling around her ankle. She's cold. So miserably cold. "To…make things right, I suppose." 

"Pretty words to right your spot of butchery? Charming." At least he's looking at her, still handsome; Joi drops her eyes. Looking at him is…difficult. The spirit's flesh is rent as it was at death: jagged tears in his flesh, courtesy of the slayer's claws. "We could have been friends, allies." 

"Why the Hells do you think I'm here? I want to make it right. I'm trying." 

And there's the insane voice in the back of her head, pleading, desperate, wishing for so many things. Never that she could change what was; it had to happen. Instead, she wishes either could give an inch towards reaching an understanding—a fool's dream.

Raphael holds his head high, wings fluttering in a nonexistent breeze. "Empty words." 

She wants to scream. Or shake him. Instead, barely a whisper, she says, "Please, come back to me. I'm cold." He's warmer, even as a spirit; he's the only warmth she's felt in this Hell. 

The muscles in his jaw tense, wanting to fight for the sake of it. Raphael screws up his nose, shoulders pulling taut, only to finally relax. He strides across the room, fingers curling around her wrist, not integrating back into her, not entirely. Raphael likes this freedom. Instead, he settles back into her furs, motioning for her to come nearer. Joi does, pulling the furs up around her chin. 

The weight of his wings and arm over her is an illusion. The gust of his breath along the underside of her jaw is just the fabrication of a touch-starved mind. Joi shivers.

"Don't mistake this for a ceasefire," he grumbles. "Your value to me ends the moment we reach Nessus." 

"Of course." Warm. Blessedly warm. Joi pretends to thread their fingers together. "Would it mean anything? If I said I was sorry?"

The spirit's fingers ghost up her forearm, nose tucking in her hair. He thinks for a long while. In that space, she lies to herself: he's considering, struggling, they can grow, they can…

But he shakes his head, voice hard. "No, mouse. Nothing at all." 

[thealogie]

I'm sorry but I'm about to treat your ask box like a confessional.

You kind of deserve it, though, because due to your Sherlock rewatch posts I've been forced to remember that 1. Sherlock is a show that exists and 2. that I wrote Sherlock fanfic when I was 13... about SHERLOCK and MOLLY.

In my defence, I was a deeply deeply deeply repressed bisexual who hadn't realized it yet - so all of the obvious and insane gay stuff between Sherlock and John just completely sailed over my head. Also propaganda worked really well on me as a child - so basically I was the ideal viewer for Moftiss lol. There'd be scenes where people mistook Sherlock and John for a couple and I'd go 'huh that's kind of strange that keeps happening' but then it would be played off as a joke and I'd go 'oh yes of course, silly me! Gay people only exist as the punchline! Sherlock and John would NEVER be interested in each other that way. I can't believe anyone would ever think that haha.'

Flash forward to 2017. I'm 17 years old. I've kissed other women by now and have had my brain chemistry rewritten by copious amounts of slash fanfiction. Still young, but wiser to the ways of the world than I once was. The last time I watched Sherlock, I had been 14 years old. Sherlock season 4 airs. I watch it with my mom. It's so bad my brain immediately initiates a trauma response and wipes all memory of Sherlock away. This continues for years. The only times I remember Sherlock exists is whenever I joyfully watch hbomerguy's Sherlock Is Garbage video while I'm knitting or painting or something. Also whenever I have to type in a password for an account I made when I was 13 - because my go-to password was 'SHERLOCKED' back then, unfortunately.

Flash forward to now. I'm 24 years old. And I start seeing your posts about Sherlock. Like a sleeper agent, it awakens something in me. Yesterday, I spent a perfectly good Saturday - one I could have spent doing literally anything else - reading Johnlock fanfiction. I am suddenly re experiencing the show through new eyes, seeing all the queerbait I never did before. Getting hate-crimed on the daily. I'm thinking about Sherlock at work, at my adult fucking job. I'm watching scenes from the show on youtube in my office, quickly and guiltily clicking away whenever a coworker comes to chat. I am considering doing my own rewatch. I am realizing for the first time that John and Sherlock were literally in love. It's the only lens through which you can view the show and still have it be somewhat enjoyable. They literally put Mary in a wedding dress shooting Sherlock in his mind palace on TV. I feel like I'm having a religious experience, I feel like I'm insane, I feel like I'm 13 again. This is all vaguely November 5th-ish for me lol.

Anyway. I just thought you should know the impact your rewatch is having on the population. Sorry for the novel in your inbox. I've been desperately trying to find my old Sherlock x Molly fanfic to read for the lols but I think I deleted it off ffnet. I am both having the time of my life while also desperately hoping I forget Sherlock ever existed again soon. So, basically - thank you/curse you for this.

This is perhaps the best ask I’ve ever received?? I converted a sherlolly shipper in the year 2023? Listen I’d never wish a season 4 rewatch on anyone but I would highly recommend watching s1-2 and the wedding episode for a truly out of body experience. I felt more strongly about this show/ship than any other in my life and it was STILL worse than I remembered

[kosmicdream]

im confident enough to post FFAK, which has anal prolapse, but i dont post the true drama....... my opinions about manga. *dramatic music* sometimes i kinda want to do some reviews.. its mostly me complaining.. it makes me sound so bitter like "do you like anything kosmic!" and..yes ! i do!!! okay!! i like a lot of things. once in a while, i dip my toes into a popular series to try to see if we are a good fit. Series like: Beastars, Dorohedoro, Dungeon meshi,ect.. and i kind. well. I dont like any of them LMAO. I mean, Ok, i actually really was into Beastars for a time, but after the fight with the bear guy (its been a few years sorry) and that story arc concluded.. it just spiraled to laughable levels and did not recover. I was genuinely laughing at it at times bc it kind of felt like a desperate scramble with the like. loopholes and power upgrades.. But I was invested for a time, it had a charm to me! I also loved the art and im curious about the authors next series about santa (partly because i too, am writing a story about santa). Dorohedoro has a great visual style, fun characters, i enjoyed reading but it also kinda didnt ...land for me beyond that, which is a shame. I feel like it is a series that "should" have clicked with me. And its like, not offensive to me but.. I'll forget that ive read the whole thing. I like STUFF in it. but thats not enough for me anymore. If i had read it when i was younger tho, it might have been a diff story. idk. My most unpopular opinion of all is that... I hated Dungeon Meshi.. Sure its ..pretty! cute designs. but i found it SO painfully boring and it actually was a struggle to finish. in the end, it felt like a waste of time.. SHOCKING take i know. That is the darling of everyones heart and i like, understand WHY its popular. .. but for me, i was not fed by anything. i am unfed and starved and going to eat elsewhere oh, and i.. as a person who has read a lot of fighting mangas.. I have tried to read chainsaw man, but i dont know if I can. I did finish Fire Punch. I'm surprised to say: i kinda liked it but it took a long time to force myself to read thru it. I honestly hated many aspects of Fujimoto's storytelling/character acting that i didn't think my opinion on it would change, but I'm a little more open to it now. I dont think i could ever super be into it or whatever, but i did find genuine enjoyment in aspects of fire punch. I did not really like look back. I haven't read his other one shot(s)? Where am i going with all this..I guess im giving some unrequested reviews after all...oops... a lot of this is spurred by how houseki no kuni is one of my most fav series, not only visually/characters/story/ect.. but i cant lie.... the ending... was kind of a flop for me... gorgeous and poetic ig sure but.. AUGH! it isnt what i wanted. maybe it'll be one of those "it'll grow on me" endings but thats mostly me having to go thru the 5 stages of personal grief and gaslight myself into it, but as the like actual honest first-reaction feeling it kinda lost me. I think it did not work when i felt the confrontation btwn phos/cinnabar wasn't the one i wanted to see. i will say tho, while im dissapointed, its not like a DEEP one or anything. I know its a miracle to even get to an ending.. i guess my take away feeling from it was like "everything fit together too well, too planned" but didnt feel planned, emotionally. I wasn't sold on it. Anyway, im here to speak my truth and my hot takes which, i honestly dont even want to have that one about HnK but its the real feeling i have for it.. Once again Utena's ending just has made all these other issues i have with various stories more obvious LOL

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕊𝕡𝕒𝕔𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕦𝕥 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @hayillaaaaaaa request: Was scrolling to see your posts and i think daily anon hates me :<

Since reqs are open, can i have vbs kaito, rui, an and tsukasa with a gn! Reader thats always spaced out? Like everytime someone talks to them theyre like staring into some clouds or not listening, like the type of person to say whats on their mind, the embodiment of ._., please and thankyou♥️(⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

(if possible, can it be headcanons not oneshot?)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Nahhh I'm sure they don't ToT

Also HELP I JUST NOTICES YOU ALSO ASKED FOR AN ILY

Anyway! I relate to spacing out sm so it was like both, calling out myself and writing comfort for myself lol But okey! End of rambles! I hope you'll like it!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ VBS!KAITO most likely doesn't space out much but he's definitely interested in it! He's more the type to constantly think of something tho...

✧ not to the level when he's like sleeping but to the level he get's some cool ideas!

✧ so you two be sitting next to each other while he's thinking of something or trying to create new beat while you're spacing out

✧ what's funniest, he doesn't even realize it sometimes! It's just someone nudging him and being like "your lover's spacing out" or so

✧ but he usually let's you be in your dreams, he's always worried you may be having some nice idea going on and he knows how unpleasant it is when someone breaks your thinking process

✧ he even tried carrying you once it was necessary since he didn't wanted to wake you up... but he obviously woke you up by picking you up either way

✧ so now, if it's absolutely necessary, he just places his hand on your shoulder and gently shakes you while saying your name

✧ he's still curious tho! So he might just ask you what was it you were thinking of but he's not gonna force you to say it in any way

✧ but if you do decide to tell him, there's small chance you're gonna give him the exact inspiration he needed!

"Y/N...? Y/N...? Oh, you're finally awake. Sorry to disturb you, just MEIKO wants to clean counter you're laying on and... I'd rather not to go against her..."

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@bleachtheidiot @hayillaaaaaaa - come get your soft gentleman~

✧ An may not be experiences in spacing out, but she most likely interacted with people that do!

✧ like in a Weekend Garage for example! She definitely had customers or maybe even usuals that spaced out every now and then

✧ so when her partner's spacing out, she somehow finds it so cute!!

✧ the way your eyes are staring in the nothing, the way that you're so focused... SHE LOVES IT!

✧ definitely tried sneakily taking photo of you just to wake you up from your little dreamland

✧ she's also curious about what you were thinking about so intently! But if she sees it's making you uncomfortable, she'll change the topic and offer coffee for waking up

✧ but if you blush... it might be too much for her poor heart too handle... Because how the heck are you so cute?!

✧ it's easy to say, she loves when you space out and the fact you so that often is like blessing for her! So she's always stealing quick glances at you to see if you're not spacing out right now

✧ she usually doesn't even want to wake you up! But if she absolutely HAS TO... she'll poke your cheek or boop your nose! And if it doesn't work~ she's just like "oh well!" and takes it as a sign to leave you be and enjoy the view <3

"You were so cute! You were spacing out and you were focusing on my nose! Hehe~ I have to take picture of that next time~"

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@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @bad-the-an-enjoyer @qxmmi - come get your star girl!

✧ Tsukasa may be suspected of also spacing out... but it's actually just imagination! He's sometimes I'm his world yes, but it's only when he's rambling and who knows? Maybe it's his voice that's do loud even he can't hear others?

✧ either way, he can't tell when you're spacing out and when you're just focusing... but he still wants to help so he usually takes the 50/50 chance!

✧ there are times when he waves his hand in front of your face and guesses correctly

✧ but other time, he does exact same thing when you're just focusing on what he's saying and... it can be a bit annoying...

✧ but he'll apologize if he makes any mistake! And if he guessed, he's gonna repeat whole thought from beginning since he doesn't know where you spaced out and somehow moves back to rambling instead of asking where to start from...

✧ he may get curious about your constant spacing out and ask what you're thinking of, but it's usually very polite, not wanting to accidentally ask you something you're uncomfortable with

✧ he's also always very gentle when waking you up, if talking to you and waving his hand in front of your face won't work... he'll gently place his hand on your shoulder and it's only exception to gently shake you

✧ boy's so worries he might scare or hurt you by accident, he just plays it off safe

✧ it's also pretty hilarious for 3rd party to watch how loud voice suddenly goes quiet just to wake up person that seemingly is sleeping with eyes open when they can't even focus due to how loud his voice is...

"Spacing out again? What are you thinking about so often? Oh! But you don't have to tell me if you don't want to!"

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@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @bad-the-an-enjoyer @yulikesminori @alicewinterway18 @nenes-numberonefan @hakulivesformusic - come get your future star!

✧ Rui does that too, trust me. Maybe not as often as you but he knows how it is

✧ except you space out during simple chat, and he spaces out when he works!

✧ anyway, thanks to this little experience of his, he inmidietly realizes why you stopped blinking and why you're focusing on one point

✧ he'll first chuckle before waving his hand in front of your face and saying something like "earth to y/n"

✧ if you apologize after, he'll only find it more amusing, he's gonna comfort you he doesn't mind while in fact he enjoys extra reason to tease you

✧ he doesn't mind repeating himself tho, he usually asks when did you zoned out but he usually guesses in his head the moment correctly either way!

✧ he also likes to ask what were you thinking so much about, but it's your choice if you tell him or not, and he'll respect that decision

✧ if he sees you're not comfortable with him asking that, he'll remember it for the future and quickly change topic back to your original chat

✧ but if you don't mind telling him~ prepare him to go "thinking about [topic] again?" and scaring you as he wakes you up, all that followed by his laugh

"Boo!! Hahaha~! I'm sorry, darling. I just couldn't help myself! But you looked so cute with that shock expression on your face, you can't deny it~"

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@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @bl4cktourmaline @r4wrclwz @superstar-ethereal @stellas-starry-stories13 @alicewinterway18 @nenes-numberonefan @hakulivesformusic - come get your crazy inventor~

[otokowrecker]

Freed from this unholy sophistry

It's done. My Death Mark longfic, Victims to an Unholy Sophistry, is finally finished!! This is a kinda vent post cuz I needa spew but also a appreciation post! Haha!

Ough. Two years. VUS took me two years to finish and that extended time really made me sour towards it. Plus, I have the instant reflex to hate anything I make, haha!

But unfortunately for VUS, it was being written during the worst part of my life so far - a lot has happened in my life during this time - moving into my own place, forcing myself to be more social, family issues and mainly the BIGGGG continual mental spiral - those things being some of reasons it took so long to finish! But because it is tied to this time in my life I can't bring myself to love it. Right now I’m panicking that I didn't do the ending the Justice the Lonely who started writing it wanted. So I'm sorry, past Lonely. I still feel that Rainwater Coffee is my favourite work, even though VUS had themes which I love.

My inspiration for VUS was the manga Sleeping Dead, which I love! The ending was so powerful and beautiful, portrayed so well, I felt empty once it was finished!

But as I said in my author's notes, I am super, super grateful to all the fishes that gave VUS a chance and stuck around!! It means the whole ocean to me!! Despite that being their job, words can't express the gratitude I feel to anyone who checks out my works!! ❤️ I do have a shorter sequel planned for VUS, only because I wanna use a certain guy as an antagonist! (I'm easy to read, you know who it is!) but I want to get other works out of the way, first!!

So again, thank you so, so much if you read VUS and liked it! Knowing that it gave a handful of people some enjoyment is enough for me! ❤️

As a fun bonus, here's the only physical reference for Lady and Mister I have from a while back. I hate having to design clothing, the whole fic everyone just had basic long robe/cloak get-ups when I was thinking about scenes, even though in my head I pictured certain characters having more detailed clothing!

They were a fun duo, weird siblings Vs normal siblings, haha! They're just big fans of the Kujou family, lol!