#but i cannot get a story straight
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'Dead Poets Society' gang
Headcanon that these four drop poetry and literature quotes on their conversations unprompted.
Jason 'English-major-I-only-visit-the-manor-for-the-library' Todd-Wayne
Damian 'I-master-liberal-arts-unlike-you-plebs-PHD-holder' al Ghul-Wayne
Cassandra 'I-learn-English-thru-Shakespeare-as-god-intended' Cain-Wayne
Duke 'only-title-holder-of-vigilante-poet-and-will-cuss-you-just-as-poetically' Thomas-(future) Wayne
#My background is ass#I promise to practice but omg i am losing motivation coz its too ugly#started putting some on coloring that i started being happy about it#But my background is level toddler i hate it#the patience and discipline to make my lines straight and clean is nonexistent gdi...why did past me choose library gdi#Just writing some Duke in my fics and this image of them all just made me wanna do art...Duke is a poet and writes stories u kno?#Duke is not a wayne yet...and is not dead yet...but with how comics goes then its just a matter of time lol#They're all in school here...Cass and Jason are college watching over their juniors in high school#everyone use cardigans but Jason like his leather so no thanks lol#Duke and Cass in outsiders are cute#jason todd#dc comics#damian wayne#fanart#robin#cassandra cain#duke thomas#inking & background study#Damian is now 14!!!! He's getting old...he's like a baby yesterday omg#I need to stop obsessing over this so i posted a WIP so i can continue writing my fic!!! argh#Im gonna watch youtube tutorials again on drawing bookshelves coz i cannot do this without guidance
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“what does geralt get from that friendship…”
another post examining the weight of geralt and dandelion’s friendship… because i don’t think people recognize how painful and debilitating loneliness can become.
the witcher as a deconstruction of the genre takes fantasy tropes to their most logical ends—it asks us to consider what The Lone Swordsman feels, looks into the humanity in a Cold-Blooded Killer. and it turns out he’s not cold-blooded at all.
that despite some superhuman abilities, he laments and worries and curses himself, just like any other worker of any other profession. just as the farmer is scorched by the sun, the washerwoman’s back aches, and the scholar goes half-blind studying, a witcher deals with all of the pains and annoyances and dangers of his job in a mundanely human way.
but the farmer, the washerwoman, and the scholar have something the witcher does not have—they’ll always be seen as human and part of their society. at the end of the day after enduring all of their labor, they have their wife to caress, festivities to attend, and taverns to frequent. but for a witcher? after the killing is over, what does he have? no one and nothing. not even a thank you. he is met with fear and hatred everywhere he goes, baseless bigotry and dislike.
I did my job. I quickly learned how. I’d ride up to village enclosures or town pickets and wait. If they spat, cursed and threw stones, I rode away. If someone came out to give me a commission, I’d carry it out.
so he faces not just loneliness, but being deliberately ostracized and cast out from society. geralt can’t even find a polite word in most settlements, much less a friend.
‘(…) Tell me, where should I go? And for what? At least here some people have gathered with whom I have something to talk about. People who don’t break off their conversations when I approach. People who, though they may not like me, say it to my face, and don’t throw stones from behind a fence. (…)’
this kind of loneliness is not a mere inconvenience. it’s completely altering to your self-perception and ability to see the positive in the world.
each day is not lived, but endured.
day in, and day out—forced to the most difficult and lowest labor in order to survive, and knowing that were you to die, no one would search for your body, few would miss you, hell, they might even spit “good riddance”.
in this situation, to find a friend, is not only friendship, but a rescue.
without dandelion, geralt may have drowned—drowned in solitude, amidst a sea of strangeness.
‘(…) And I’m alone, completely alone, endlessly alone among the strange and hostile elements. Solitude amid a sea of strangeness. Don’t you dream of that?’
No, I don’t, he thought. I have it every day.
because dandelion is not only a bright soul, characteristic rippling laughter and the strum of a lute, but someone who will intently listen to geralt, someone who mutually enjoys his company.
‘(…) you almost jumped out of your pants with joy to have a companion. Until then, you only had your horse for company.’
someone who doesn’t see him as strange and at the fringes of society at all, but as an utterly normal man.
and doesn’t impose demeaning, sappy sympathy onto him, but sobering and realistic “quit your bullshit” which ridicules the very thought that he should internalize societal hatred.
Do you know what your problem is, Geralt? You think you’re different. (…) [You don’t understand that] for people who think clear-headedly you’re the most normal man under the sun, and they all wish that everybody was so normal. What of it that you have quicker reflexes than most and vertical pupils in sunlight? That you can see in the dark like a cat? That you know a few spells? Big deal.
dandelion isn’t “willing” to accept geralt for himself—he already has accepted him. and to him, it’s no difficulty, it’s nothing worth discussing, because he sees no abnormality and no strangeness in him.
while others “prefer the company of lepers to witchers,” dandelion has already offered geralt to share his room and board. not out of sympathetic pity, not out of fetishizing curiosity. because… they’re friends.
and what else does this friendship save him from?
not only from others, but from himself.
worse than enduring others’ apathy and hatred is one’s own thoughts—the darkness and negativity which builds from witnessing and experiencing such behavior.
dandelion’s ability to counter and dispel geralt’s pessimism and self-flagellating tendencies—again, not out of pity, but out of friendship—is undeniably invaluable. someone to rescue you from your darkest thoughts, when you begin to spiral.
and in this darkness, all you can do is cry. you cry, beg for someone to help you, please—
Help! Why doesn't anyone help me? Alone, weak, helpless – I can't move, can't force a sound from my constricted throat. Why does no one come to help me? I'm terrified!
to be alone, the saga reminds us, is worse than a death sentence. to be alone is to “perish; stabbed, beaten or kicked to death, defiled, like a toy passed from hand to hand.” to be alone is to suffer, and to be with someone is to save them from that suffering.
'(…) I wouldn't like anything bad to happen to you. I like you too much, owe you too much-'
'You've said that already. What do you owe me, Yennefer?'
The sorceress turned her head away, did not say anything for a while.
'You travelled with him,' she said finally. 'Thanks to you he was not alone. You were a friend to him. You were with him.'
it is true that geralt has saved dandelion countless times, helped him, gotten him out of some scrape… but to ask what did geralt get in return? are you kidding me?
did you ever consider that it is dandelion who saved geralt?
by being with him. by being by his side. by being his friend.
indeed, dandelion has rescued geralt, countless times, from the yawning jaws of endless loneliness. he’s helped him, chased away the danger of geralt’s own rumination. and he’s gotten him out of scrapes, his own insecurities and bitter helplessness.
so what does dandelion give geralt? what does geralt get from their friendship?
an amusing question. what one gets from friendship is the friendship itself. and that is more than enough.
#the witcher books#gerlion#geralt of rivia#dandelion#jaskier#the parallels with ciri’s story makes me so emotional like…#ciri is just geralt but younger and alone. and thus she suffers so immensely#i included ciri’s nightmare because i think that’s how it feels to be alone#you just cry out ‘help! why won’t someone help me?’ and no one answers#and the funny bit is that everyone is like ‘ugh you cannot get RID of dandelion’ like#i think that’s the most comforting and relieving thing about him. he will never leave and abandon geralt.#there is nothing geralt *would* or *could* do to ever push him away#the kind of friendship where you never worry about being too ‘weird’ for them because they straight up dont care if youre weird#honestly idk how more people dont see them like this because i feel like loneliness is so pervasive right now#does everyone else just have this kind of best friend and for that reason take dandelion’s presence for granted#s: i want to be by your side#c: geralt#c: dandelion#excerpt#analysis#like. this is how it is:#the entire world: ‘you’re nothing you’re worthless and you’re inhuman’#dandelion is NOT like ‘omgggg of course you are something 🥺🥺 pwease don’t think badly like that’#no. he’s like ‘the hell? that’s the stupidest thing ive ever heard. why the hell are you even listening to that’#dandelion has a kind of masculine energy that the fandom does not like lmao
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OH NO THEY'RE STOOPID
#ohmygash nuuu don't misunderstand each other omgg#my children please get your heads straight and just talk it out i CANNOT DEAL with a misunderstanding trope#PLEASE I'VE SUNK MORE THAN 44 HOURS ON THIS STORY PLEASE#brandon sanderson#mistborn#the well of ascension#vin#elend venture#vin x elend#februerik-reads#ef.
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ahsjfkglhjhsh having an INSANE moment because i play genshin with the chinese audio and what do you MEAN that’s alhaitham talking in the trailer for cyno’s second story quest what do you MEAN
#haino#cyhaino#cytham#alhaitham#cyno#oughhhhh im insane im going INSANE#i straight up didn’t know what he sounded like in english#💀💀💀#i usually don’t even WATCH the trailers since i don’t like the english voices lol#but i watched this one for cyno OBVIOUSLY#and was like ‘lol i can’t tell who that is!!’ with the fontaine siblings talking#i didnt even THINK that ALHAITHAM would be in cyno’s section#no one say syke i s2g#hnbnnggg everyone be quiet i need a second#god they’re SO—#yall CANNOT tell me that i get to see both of them again#in the same sq#in a sq dedicated to CYNO#BOTH OF THEM#im ILL at this#like even if he’s only there for like a second im still never going to recover#haino stay out of each other’s story quests challenge (impossible??)#like—#sorry there’s no way i’ll be able to be normal about this#i MISSED them😭❤️
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Rosaria Champagne, “Law of the (Nameless) Father: Mary Shelley’s Mathilda and the Incest Taboo” // Star Trek: Deep Space 9, 2x22 “The Wire”
#incest tw#RENT LOWERING GUNSHOT POST#''I never met anyone who relished a good interrogation as much as you did.''#and then we proceed to hear a story about how Garak preferred to stare at someone for four hours straight rather than interrogate them#and THEN we proceed to watch him try to interrogate someone and not be able to do it even when he literally doesn't even have to doanything#because the anti-changeling machine basically does it for him and he still can't even watch it happen#hm. hmmmmmmmmmm#''We're both getting sentimental in our old age.''#Fathers love to tell you you enjoyed it actually. and also you're basically a fellow adult really.#it's their favorite thing in the whole world#Starky's Original Posts#Star Trek: Deep Space 9#watch these tags look stupid after I watch Broken Link or something. whatever I'm basking in them for now.#not sorry for posting this due to the fact that I wanted to do so. however I am sorry you had to see it.#god I looked up TDIC script for this and I cannot do it anymore#NO NEED TO PRETEND. YOU'RE FOND OF MILA. AREN'T YOU? YOU DON'T WANT HER HURT DO YOU?#SICKO TELEVISION SHOW I CAN'T WAIT FOR ALL OF CARDASSIA TO GET EXPLODED BY ONE TRILLION BOMBS#GOODBYE
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You know what I realized about writing a fic that’s in the style of ‘characters watch their own show’? Character development happening off screen. Because what the characters are watching, in my fic anyways, has already happened. They’ve been through it all already, it’s not linear to their current characterization. Which means that the characterization they may be starting to achieve while watching the show might not be the same characterization they have while in the show.
So, there’s a certain sense of whiplash for me as the writer when a character is starting to have character development via gentle parenting by Bryce or straight up getting smacked with it through being forced to acknowledge something was wrong via the ‘images’, and they start to grow as a person and start viewing things differently…and then i have to write them the way they were about a year prior, not-character developed and not starting to change their mind and starting to become almost not the same person at all
#im at a point where character development is starting to happen and starting to slowly stick#enough things have been pointed as something wrong or not true#enough things have been hinted at to make people start thinking ‘wait a minute something’s not adding up’#which means I’m now starting to write characterizations that don’t add up to what’s in the ‘images’ they’re watching#keeping characterizations straight is starting to get a litte tough#i cannot BEGIN to imagine how much harder it’s going to get the further into the story I go#httyd/the deep crossover
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While Khare wasn't exactly considered a 'success' by PROMETHEUS, there are times where her body does function according to plan. One of these are enhanced capabilities, particularly in regards to improved jumping thanks to the frog DNA inserted into her genetic sequence. One time when walking to Pauli's, Khare was startled by a group of young thugs calling out and running after her. When met by a dead-end, she jumped straight up and on top of the building, losing the group but ended up arriving late to work as she struggled to find a way down after getting on top of a (very) high roof.
#🌈 || musings#🌈 || headcanons#Sometimes a girl just has to jump 30 feet straight up into the air#The funny thing is that Khare cannot control this at ALL#Hence being more of a failure than a success#The times where her body does cooperate is far and few in-between but sometimes it do work#Khare managed to escape from the facility due to the ability of being able to jump high#Not quite high enough to clear the barbed wire fences surrounding the place but enough to juuust get over it#Can't control the electrical outflow#Can't breathe underwater indefinitely#But it's worked somewhat during desperate times#Just never when she wants it#Imagine trying to jump high enough to try and get over a fence but suddenly you're on the roof :(#And you're shit at climbing so you have to knock on the inhabitant's window and ask to be let down#Had to spin a wild story to get out of that one#Happy Easter to everyone (who celebrates) btw!#I hope you're all having a lovely day regardless!#I am OFF Easter overtime so can hopefully finish off some of those older memes waiting to be done#Sorry about the wait it's been a hard grind this week and especially weekend oof
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just reread the mortal instruments for the first time in like seven (?) years and like it's fine and all but the concept would've been so much more interesting in the hands of a queer author
#expand tags to read more lmao#the mortal instruments#anti cassandra clare#my take with any body of work tbh#alec is my favourite but also very much gives Tortured Gay Written By Straight#clary should've ended up with simon (à la peeta mellark effect)#i love jace but he loses all personality as the love interest#also i will live breathe and die on the jalec hill they should've got the storyline that emma and julian did#the fact that the forbidden parabatai love story was given to a STRAIGHT couple is absolutely ridiculous#also i fucking hate malec it seemed so romantic when i was like 15 but now i cannot read it without thinking of my first relationship#ie. young and inexperienced me VS. what may not legally be grooming but technically is#à la rhys and feyre i HATE this immortal falling in love with a teenage mortal bs#red flag#magnus is also a gay character written for straight people#like he's fine but he's not giving yknow#i just relate a lot to alec and hate how him and magnus are so romanticised#IT SHOULD'VE BEEN JACE#imagine how good a jace and alec slowburn would've been in the last three books#talking of gay shit get izzy a girlfriend (and have it be me)#i jest but not - all of the lightwood siblings are gay wbk#clary is their token straight#all this to say give this idea to ME not to the ex ron x ginny author#anyway rant over#some teenage books live up to the hype (hunger games) and some don't (these)
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In case it's hard to read/understand: "If I had a nickel for every time I had a story with a blonde girl named after a plant, who has a German father and a French mother but absolutely hates said mom, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."
weird, extremely-specific tropes in my stories: pt 1
#oc liveblogging#ughhhhhhh i really CANNOT afford to be procrastinating rn but i know this happens when im extremelyyyyyy fucking stressed.#creative/art related classes always get me for this reason bc ill use 'wait but i need to find inspiration!' as an excuse to procrastinate.#fuckkkkkkkkkk. UGH IM NOT EVEN WRITING SOMETHING FROM SCRATCH ITS JUST A FINAL REVISION BUT IM CONVINCED IT SUCKS#the worst part is hkjhkjGHKJ I HAVE TO PRESENT SOME OF THIS SHIT AT AN. INTERNATIONAL FUCKING CONFERENCE GUYS. GUYSYSSSS#anyways this post is sadly not related to that. nothing im presenting is related to my ocs [un]fortunately lmao#ive just been thinking rotating various oc stories around in my head again ourgghhhh.#and i realized this LMAO. i mean maybe technically not 2 separate stories anymore because im recycling a lot from one for the other?#one of these was already established lowkey and the other was something i made for an assignment for a class like 2 years ago#i actually don't know if petunie will be blonde in her final incarnation?? ive always imagined her as silvery blonde ig but idk#if ill keep that. she doesnt have proper colors like colin but at least colin has his design set more straight somewhat.#and all the recent petunie development is lowkey really fucking funny to think abt. i girlbossed with her character development so#hard that she really replaced lucian as a protagonist HAHAJSDHKGJ. ok well not 100% kamille's story is a shoot-off#of lucian's technically? i guess? it started becoming that and now its solidified as that lowkey bc same town same place time period people#but man if im not careful i might accidentally make kamille/petunie's arc THE default one and lucian's main one the offshoot instead#a lot remains to be seen. but also yeah the other one who's story is mostly getting recycled (myrtille) actually ALSO HAD HER MOM#COME FROM THIS SAME FUCKING PLACE BASICALLY. a few decades later but still bruh given developments for lucian's story too its just like#at this point im noticing a pattern man wtf is wrong w/ women who come from this town specifically lol. 😔🥴#this town in general is just fucking cursed though i think ahkjshkg. i mean that jokingly and literally lolololl i gotta. work on it. but y#I HATE IT HERE WHY ARE WEIRD LITTLE FUCKING TOWNS WHERE BAD SHIT HAPPENS ALWAYS A CONSISTENT TROPE IN MY STORIES /silly#I DONT EVEN COME FROM A WEIRD LITTLE TOWN MY HOMETOWN IS LIKE. AVERAGE NORMALISH NOT SUPER LARGE??? IDFK?????#haaaaaaa fuck i need to finish this by the end of TODAY I S2G!!! SO I CAN MOVE ON TO ALL THE OTHER SHIT I OWE FUCKKKK
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and this is old news now but my own perspective on the project sekai miku movie as a mobile game outsider who just likes some of the tunes - all i really hope for is that i'll be able to follow the plot somewhat with my very limited knowledge because it does look like it'll be a fun watch. i know there is like dimensions. the dimensions include: alt rock world. depression world. carnival world? etc. furirn and tomoriru voice characters. i like the trans one in depression world. and the little orange guy in EDM world.
#i also like the one voiced by akina. who i only know because of utaite reasons LOL i like her voice#i also like the voice of the loud blonde boy. i like that hes loud#and the girl with long dark hair from alt rock world has a nice voice too#sorry. this will be my knowledge. im cursed with mobage. i used to be able to handle it#but now even if this game ran on my phone i know i would skip the cutscenes 😔😔😔😔😔#NOT because theyre bad or anything im sure theyre good. but i dunno i straight up do Not have the patience for mobage progression anymore#and i also dont like watching videos of visual novels so watching the stories online is also out. i will only learn the plot if 1)#they release a commercial console port of the game with mobage progression tweaked out OR#2) much more likely it gets a full anime adaptation someday. which i'd be intrigued!#although then we will also reach my other issue. inability to watch a show no matter how much i want to#ITS NOT as dire as my mobage blockage tho like i can push myself. i will have fun. but i am le scared. what if a show kills me. ?#no one suffers more than i. the person who loves big glossy anime idol-y music franchises but cannot play mobage or watch anime.
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honestly sometimes Philip Marlowe seems less like a detective people hire and more like a troublesome spirit that people inadvertently invite into their lives (by trying to hire him as a detective)
#going over marlowe story plot structures for personal reasons and i am once again struck by how much of the stories (esp the novels)#are him doing shit he was 100% not hired to do#and is often strongly discouraged from doing. by the people who hired him.#you can get that man to start but you sure as fuck cannot get him to stop#you turn your back on him for 15 minutes and when you turn back he's tunneled straight through the mystery you pointed him at#and is trying to eat 5 other mysteries at once#noirposting#raymond chandler#philip marlowe
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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Laios x Marcille is so weirdly popular and also displays how the fandom outside of tumblr has negative media literacy.
#I’m not ship tagging this I’m not an asshole#but it’s so interesting how the most clear cut “we’re like brother and sister” dynamic gets heterofied by the general anime audience#it’s always the same people who joke about Laios caring more about eating monsters than saving his sister#they just straight up aren’t paying attention to the source material#And they always misinterpret Marcille’s character too by making her way more “moe” than usual#They take the woman with an ancient magic degree and make her act like she only learned how to walk yesterday and I’m getting sick of it#Also not gonna fandom tag this either I just needed to get this out#I hate how people who complain about shipping are also doing this to the main characters#just because it matches what they think a story mandates to be consumable#Again sorry if you enjoy the idea of these two together but I cannot stand the concept from any real pov#and don’t even get me STARTED on how they joke about Laios being attracted to Izutsumi#I might actually kill over that
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Update on those orange cats that I’m feeding that I mentioned many weeks ago incase anyone is wondering:
This fella ^
For the past week he’s been coming ONTO the porch at night when he realizes we’re sitting out here. (Politely asking to be fed- like once we look at em, he runs off and sits either under the car, or a few feet away from his bowl we leave out)
This is after already being fed and thinking I can be tricked into giving him a second can of gravy and turkey
Oh!! We’re also working on taking a large crate from work, and insulating it, weather proofing it, and putting a cat door on it. It can get COLD here in the fall and winter. I’m talking a couple weeks ago, it was juuust cold enough at night for snow flakes to fall and to turn to mush as it hit the ground. During the winter snow plows regularly get called off because it’s too dangerous for them to be driving. I’m genuinely deathly allergic to cats, and we’re 99% sure these cats are no different; so while we can’t let them inside, we can provide them a warm place to sleep :3
#if I could be in the same house as a cat and not go into anaphylactic shock it would be a different story#guys no bc if you come from a house with a cat#you gotta shower and wear clothes straight outtta dryer#otherwise I cannot breath if you walk into my house#soomewtimeessss cats don’t throw me into anaphylaxis#but that’s so so rare#like one of my friends cats I can pet and the worse that happens is I sneeze a bunch and my eyes gets mega puffy#like??? I wish it was like that w all cats#so unless these cats I’m feeding turn out to be ‘omg they won’t kill me being in the same house as them’ then they gotta stay outside
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the way that my friend texted me before like i think there might be a lesbian in my program bc there was this girl w a rainbow pride pin on her bag & then 20 mins later she found her on social media & saw she had a bf and is straight & she sent me this i 😭😭😭
#michelle speaks#my friend getting excited abt thinking there was a lesbian is so 😭 my influence fr……#she is a man hater like me & apparently everyone in her program are all very straight lol. so she doesn’t relate to them#no but like i get it tho bc sooooo many ppl in my law school section i cannot relate to bc i’m like ur so straight lol#but my class is way bigger than the program shes in so there r some ppl i do relate to u know….even tho they r not lesbians lol#also my weirdly short responses in these texts r just bc i just woke up when she was texting me this lmaoooooo#it was after 1:30pm 😔 that’s when i like to wake up…..#i’m actually supposed to be asleep rn bc i have to get up for my final at 7am but even tho i took my medication at 9 i’m not like#where i’m really tired and have to go to sleep yet 😔 at least this final is 3 hrs….#anyway she was also texting me abt how she’s started her summer classes already before i even finish my finals 😭 which is CRAZY#anyway moral of the story is i am so great and fun to talk to part of which is bc of my lesbianism. the end!
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analyzing hermes, emet-selch, the ancients and ascians, how they're written, and the fandom's reaction to them be like hm. emet-selch's role in this fuckery is compounded by the fact that his backstory as a genocide survivor is incongruous with his ruling a huge genocidal colonialist world power in the present da [ANTISEMITISM BLAST]
#ffxiv#ffxiv hermes#emet-selch#i have Posts in Me to write up about the subject but like you can maybe immediately start connecting some dots here lmao#hermes and the ancients lie at the intersection of A Lot of Shit That is Very Important to Me#the vast majority of it having to do with gaslighting in various different forms#one of those posts is going into how his story reminds me eerily of what Questioning Things in an abusive evangelical environment is like#and how the fandom instantly jumping straight to OH SO YOU THINK THE ANCIENTS SHOULD HAVE BEEN GENOCIDED IS THAT IT#YOU THINK THEY SHOULD BE INFANTILIZED AND CIVILIZED BY THE SUPERIOR MORALS OF YOUR OWN CULTURE IS THAT IT#and start throwing around words like 'sympathizer'; if you say 'hermes was right about some shit actually'#'what we see of the ancients' society is full of inexcusably horrific shit which does not get a pass for ~different values~'#smacks strongly to me of evangelical crybullying in the name of Cultural Sensitivity#and how people use 'well it's not my business what other cultures think is right or wrong' as an excuse to throw up their hands and#disengage from actually learning about or supporting the people in those cultures who know and are working within it to fight bigotry#amazingly enough 'racism and misogyny and queerphobia are bad' is not an idea exclusive to western cultures lmfao#your job if you engage is to seek out those people--across the spectrum of opinions and relationships to their culture's issues!#they're not a monolith!--and spread that information; and listen to what they ask of you when they tell you what kind of help they need#but that's complicated; and takes time and care and thought and effort and connecting to marginalized people#talking over activists and victims of the societal issues they live with; and telling them they're the same as colonizers; is easy-peasy#like i cannot stress enough here that hermes Is an Ancient. He Lives Here. He Knows His Society and Thinks About It a Lot#He Wants to Salvage It and is Specifically Fucked Up About Feeling Like He Can't Trust People Around Him for Input#WoL doesn't barge in and start telling the ancients what's what; they find the person who Cares and back him up that he's not crazy or alon#anyway there's a lot here but it is uh. a Lot. the ways in which the game blends up christianity and judaism here.#including the fact that between the two; the default cultural values and dynamics align more with christian associations of Conformity#(the game is by japanese creators and i feel like that's A Factor too; but there are Eerily Accurate evangelical things going on here)#and people cape for the ones who are Most Evangelical about it + the one whose Compelling Aspects are all antisemitic as fuck tropes#whereas the brown guy who grapples with his faith and worldview; who questions and challenges and argues with others in his ethnoreligion#and tries to look for perspective and deeper meaning + Improve Society Somewhat; gets torn apart in the worst faith possible by the fandom#ffxivtag#warning: worm grass
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