#but i can surround myself with people that make me feel safe and supported and im allowdd to hyperfixate and be excited

[uhhhj13iguess]

you’re safe

mcu!peter parker x avenger!reader

summary: part two to this horrifying bad boy. the aftermath of peter rescuing you on a mission

wc: ~2.1k

cw: body horror (definitely not as bad as the last one), detailed use of needles, descriptive feelings of being on the verge of consciousness, a general vibe of ptsd but like a lot of fluff and peter is such a puppy! and a cute bruce banner cameo because i love him and he should be appreciated more

masterlist and taglist!

you couldn't quite explain how you felt.

everything felt fuzzy, like you weren't quite there. you couldn't see, for one, but the rest of your senses felt faded as well. you equated it to the immeasurable blood loss you can only assume you've experienced, not even sure from what at this point. you can't quite make sense of how you felt, sensations delayed and muted, but you’re sure something hurts.

actually, you're pretty sure everything hurts.

you weren't in peter's arms anymore, no. maybe a bed of some kind. you could hear people around you talking, but everything was jumbled and charlie-brown-esque.

your name, maybe.

you tried to focus, tried to listen to what people were saying and gauge any awareness of your surroundings, but your memory at this point lasted word to word. something about five hours.

five hours? is that how long it's been?

you could've sworn it had been days, in and out of consciousness often enough to mess with your perception of time. suddenly, the support underneath you stuttered and came to a halt.

was i moving?

how long have i been lying down?

you try to open your eyes but you were met with great resistance, the ache in your head becoming louder and much sharper. giving up on sight, you move to the next sense, using all the strength left in your body to move your hands around you and feel for any indication of what was going on. there was a firm pressure on your palm, another hand wrapped in your own.

(y/n)

jesus, i'm talking to myself. that really can't be a good sign. you did your best to give a faint squeeze to whoever's hand you were holding.

"(y/n),"

okay, that one was a little louder. i don't understand what's —

"(y/n)!" peter.

with a weak inhale, you choked out peter's name, the brunette at your side responding with a strong exhale, the first since he lost you hours ago.

peter stood next to the gurney you lay on inside the quinjet, bruce frantic on the other side gathering supplies and preparing an IV drip. he glanced towards both of you after hearing your voice.

"(y/n)? hun, are you with us?" his shoulders visibly relaxed as he watched you nod. bruce looked up at peter.

"kid, i need to get an IV in her to get her some fluids and shit, okay?" bruce said in a calm tone, large needle tightly gripped in his raised hand.

peter gulped at the sight and looked down towards you as you began to stir where you lay. panic began to flood his body as he watched your eyes anxiously wander underneath your sewn lids, red flesh tugging at the thread, begging to be freed.

his arms flew up to grab your shoulders. "hey, hey, hey."

"what did he say? is he putting something in me?"

"(y/n), sweetheart, please. calm down, everything's okay—"

"no, peter, please. no more peter, i— please, what's going on?"

the sound of your cracking voice shattered his heart, the fear on your face etched into his memory permanently, a sight that knocked all the wind out of him. using more strength than he’d ever wanted to use with you, he laid your back against the gurney again.

"(y/n), please. i need you to listen to me, i'm right here. it's just me and dr. banner, okay? you're safe now, i promise."

though your face didn't show it, peter could feel how your body relaxed at his affirmation. he repeated it, rubbing his hands up and down your biceps. "you're safe. it's just us."

you gave a soft nod, hot tears burning your raw eyelids as they escaped the threshold. the fat tears turned pink as they rolled down your cheek, wetting the dried blood that crusted your waterline and the thread attached.

bruce looked at peter, giving him a sympathic smile as he cleared his throat. "(y/n)? i need to give you an IV, okay? just a small needle in your arm and then you'll start feeling a lot better, alright?"

your breathing began to pick up again, lips parted and shaking as you frantically felt around for peter. he grabbed both of your hands instantly, leaning down to coo in your ear. "hey hey hey. its going to be okay, bug. i'm right here, i'll walk you through everything he's doing, okay?"

you let out a shaky exhale before nodding with hesitation, no longer feeling very trusting with your autonomy having been ripped from you not too long ago. peter gave you a soft smile that he knew you couldn't see, but hoped you could feel. he squeezed your hand and looked to bruce, a slight nod signaling he could start. you heard packaging ripping and the sound rang through your ears, deafening as you began to lose your grip on reality again.

peter's voice pulled you back down, gentle and soothing in your ears. "you're okay. he's opening his supplies and getting the alcohol ready, okay? he's got to clean the area first, so it might feel a little cold on the crook of your elbow. you're okay, bug, you're doing great. take a deep breath with me, okay?"

you complied, taking in as much air as your lungs could handle. he was right: the alcohol swab on your skin felt cold, goosebumps snaking their way up your arms as he scrubbed the area. it was filthy, you were sure. you could feel the grime and blood coating your skin in a thick, waxy layer.

you took another deep breath. "you're doing so good, bug."

the sensation fizzled away, bruce no longer touching you. you turned expectantly towards the sound of movement, anxiously awaiting the needle coming your way. peter picked up on your unease immediately.

"hey! hey, you're okay. i've got my eyes on it the entire time, you're safe, okay?" you nodded, and he let out a quick breath.

"okay. he's got the needle ready. it's going to be a small prick — but! it's going to be so fast and that's it! nothing else, okay? you can do this, i know you can." his voice fell to a hush as he let one of his hands glide through your hair, his comforting touch giving you the strength to let this happen.

"okay, peter. i trust you."

you heard a scoff come from your other side. "what am i, chopped liver? i'm the one with the vial of morphine here."

you let out a strained laugh, bruce bringing a smile to your face for the first time in nearly six hours. "you too, banner. thank you."

he gave a smile you couldn't see. "alright kid, take a deep breath."

you did as instructed, and peter did just as he promised, walking you through everything that was going on and watching over you like a hawk. it wasn't that he didn't trust bruce, not at all. he just couldn't forgive himself if something else happened to you under his watch.

peter grimaced as he watched the silver bevel pierce your freshly cleaned skin, the metal pulling and tugging at your soft flesh as bruce fought to secure a vein. he cringed as you let out a weak cry, guilt wracking his chest as he apologized to you over and over again, a newfound prayer on his lips. he felt horrible for putting you in more pain, but he knew it was for the best.

"aha! got it. okay kid, hard parts over. now for the happy drugs."

you gave a relieved smile as you felt the cooling sensation of the saline flooding through your arms, immediately cooling your overheating body down. you visibly relaxed, and peter felt like he could breathe again. he squeezed your hand, bringing it up to his lips and giving it a chaste kiss, his lips warm on your now chilly fingers.

"thank you. both of you."

peter and bruce exchanged a smile before each giving a soft touch to your arms. bruce noticed the extent of your injuries for the first time, the triaged webbing covering the gashes in your arms, the rest of your skin bruised and bloody. he didn't dare meet the tubes in your chest, he wasn't sure he could stomach it.

"b— dr. banner?"

"yeah, pete. what's up?"

peter looked as though he were going to throw up. "w-what about... the..." he gestured up towards his eyes.

bruce met your unresponsive gaze. he could taste the bile in the back of his throat as he stared at your swollen, mangled eyelids. the threading pulled taut through your delicate flesh, ripping it apart literally at the seams, the skin bloody and raw.

"yeah," he let out in a meek voice. "(y/n), how you doing, kid?"

a soft groan was given in return, a weak thumbs up bringing a smirk to peter's lips. "better. morphine?"

"morphine."

a quiet chuckle. "awesome. what's up? you guys sound weird."

bruce shifted uncomfortably. "do— or, um, would you rather us take out your... stitches now? or wait until surgery?"

your breathing immediately picked up, fingers once again straining to find peter. "surgery? what? what happened to me? what did they do?"

"it's okay! we'll explain everything, but right now, you're safe. let's take it one step at a time, okay? can you do that with me?"

peter worried it came off patronizing, but hearing it grounded you again, knowing he was being nothing but genuine right now. he told you that you were safe, and you believed him.

a soft nod was shortly followed by a blood-stained tear running down your bruised cheek. "okay."

he brought your hand to his lips so you could feel his smile. "thank you,"

"now, a scary question, but it's just a yes or no!" he watched your lips curl to a frown.

"you're fully in control! the question is scary, but everything is up to you, okay?" a slight nod. peter took a deep breath.

"right now, your eyes are... they're, um," he couldn't stomach saying it. that would make it real, as if it already wasn't directly in front of him. he scowled to himself. "your eyes, they're... sewn. shut, i— i mean. fuck,"

he was supposed be the strong one right now, he thought. and he couldn't even make out a fucking sentence. fuck.

"would you like us to clip the thread now that you've had some pain relief, or do you want to wait until you're back at the hospital?"

your frown stayed the same, eyebrows knit together as you took in everything he said. peter couldn't take the silence and kept rambling.

"we've already taken off — there's another jet on it's way for the rest of the team. we'll be home in about an hour, so if you want to wait, it won't be too long. you could even try and rest if you wanted,"

he rubbed the back of your palm with his thumb. "but i also understand if you want to be able to see again. obviously." he quickly added.

you thought about it for a bit, slowly becoming entranced under peter's soothing and rhythmic touch. with the IV in and working magic on your throbbing head, you gave him a soft shrug in response.

"i think... i mean i am pretty exhausted. and i don't know if i could consciously handle feeling… that again."

peter cringed as you talked about it, a rock in his stomach as he thought about everything you'd experienced. how much pain you'd felt.

"of course, i'm sorry to even ask."

"no!" you tried to sit up in retaliation, immediately regretting it as everything in your body pounded. you gave a sharp hiss, feeling peter's warm hands on your shoulders as he eased you back against the gurney.

"i mean, please don't apologize. thank you so much, peter. you saved me. i... i don't even know how to thank you properly. i don't think i can." pink tears kissed your cheeks again, your breathing wavered.

"hey, take a breath, sweetheart. you don't have to thank me. i'm so sorry this happened. i..." he took a deep breath, centering himself. "i think you should get some rest right now and we can talk more later, okay?"

you grinned at his concern for you. "pete?"

"yeah?"

"will you be there when i wake up?"

he smirked against the back of your hand again. "i’m never letting you out of my sight again."

[xxacidnekoxx]

It took a lot of energy to make that vent comic and it was the most difficult artwork I ever made ... I pushed hard to get to this point .. in my past when I would try to mention that sort of thing or that kind of topic at all in a serious way or find community of people who might understand what I been through. everyone would just be like " this is too dark please shut up and go back to drawing cute furry comfort-art . " But I am really affected by things that happened to me and I want to draw with honesty I want to be myself and to stop catering to people who just want me to be marketable. I'm a real person. I draw vent art sometimes.. I have a lot of trauma

I was absolutely amazed about the amount of people that could relate deeply! God damn it made me feel so much less alone and scared when I read the tags I really wasn't alone. I normally have a deep gaping hole in my heart after all that happened it's like a piece of me floating around in a void .. but a lot of people completely understood the trauma and there's something about seeing people say things that looks like it would have come out of my own mouth but it is coming out of someone else !!! I feel like there is a pressure leaving my body like a heavy cloud is lifting out of me !!! And I'm still processing the relief. There's a million things I could say about how I feel but mostly it's all coming from realizing how scared I was to talk, how mean everyone was, how long the journey was , how things are now in contrast to how they used to be ... I'm in a spot in my life where I'm safe and loved and it's beautiful. Looking back on the situation and thinking about how easily I could have been stuck in that relationship.. its all really overwhelming to think about !!!

And I don't try to think of a made up person I'm supposed to become anymore I don't try to hide the parts about my life that aren't beautiful to become someone who isn't me. Because I'm me and I enjoy it. I love that I can get up and leave a situation at any time. I love to have freedom to say no and I surround myself with people who genuinely want me to be safe. I felt so dehumanized in the past and it was horrible. Like as if I was just an art and jokes machine... as if people were still going to start telling me to shut up or that Im a bitch for refusing someone... but it was just support this time. Things are getting better.

[delicateperspective]

The truth is I’m not great at expressing myself. I’ve had a thousand thoughts running through my head for quite some time now, but I’m going to try to put into words what I feel. English isn’t my first language, so please be patient with me.

There’s been one question I can’t stop thinking about: why?

I think in this fandom it’s necessary to stop for a second and ask ourselves if we might be wrong. And that’s okay. I’ve always liked to look at all sides, even the ones I don’t agree with. I think it’s necessary to understand the full picture.

I’ve chosen to support two boys who, I believe, loved or love each other, and who are in the closet. Not because I want to believe it, but because even after hearing the antis and seeing their “proof,” I still find more truth in what’s being hidden than in what’s being shown.

I’ve been in the fandom for about five years. I didn’t live through 1D in real time, but I’ve done my research. And even though in recent years Louis has been presented as a strong, straight man, a father, a family guy — I can’t ignore everything that came before. The signs are there. They’re not made up. They happened. They’re real.

So why so much effort to deny something that once was so obvious? Why deny it so aggressively? Why erase such an important part of his story?

I understand that if you only look at the last three years, all of this might sound ridiculous. But you can’t just erase the rest. You can’t deny a whole decade of glances, lyrics, silences, symbols, gestures.

You can see how far they’ve stretched this stunt. Louis commenting on Z’s post triggered all kinds of reactions — people saying he’s never been so emotionally open, that he was never like this with Eleanor. So why now? Why like this? Why so many denials of Larry lately, and done in such an aggressive, defensive way? Why did his team — I think it was the hair stylist, I don’t remember her name — speak badly about Larries? Why did his sisters deny it too? Why so much effort to erase something so big?

I understand that some people only see the recent image, but I can’t. And I believe many of us can’t either. You can’t erase what’s happened over more than a decade. You can’t reduce everything to “Louis is straight and the best dad ever” and just keep pushing that endlessly, because it doesn’t make sense. Social media exists, and whether we like it or not, everything is documented (even if some things get deleted).

You can’t tell me he’s dating a reality show influencer and also say he hates that whole world.

You can’t paint him as the straightest man alive while he sings “It’s a church of burnt romances and I’m too far gone to pray / It’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave,” surrounded by flags, saying he feels safe, wearing coded clothes.

You can’t say he hates Harry Styles and that the fans destroyed their friendship, and then watch those glances, those stolen touches, those songs about a love he met at 18 and a lasting relationship.

You can’t sell me the idea that his son is his top priority when he hasn’t even protected his privacy, when he hasn’t been there in key moments.

And you can’t say he’s homophobic or uncomfortable with gay rumors when he’s been in gay bars, has a triangle tattooed on his skin, and has written “be proud” on a flag.

You can’t erase who they’ve been. Who they’ve been for more than a decade.

You can’t just cling to what’s convenient now and forget what once was so evident.

Stories don’t disappear just because no one talks about them anymore.

Gestures don’t lie. And sometimes songs scream what voices stay silent about.

You can’t reduce someone full of layers and nuance into just one thing.

You can’t say it’s all black and white when there are thousands of colors in between.

Maybe this message doesn’t make much sense, but I needed to let it out.

Thank you for reading. And truly, thank you for creating a space where we can think with calm, with critical thought, and without losing empathy.💞

oh my heart — you say you’re not great at expressing yourself, and then you go and write something that’s so clear, articulate, and deeply moving. ♥

i agree with you 100%: it’s crucial to stop and check ourselves sometimes. to ask if we might be wrong. to stay open to being wrong. to look at every angle, even the ones that don’t match what we want to believe. that’s how we stay grounded, and that’s how we keep our integrity.

the truth is, we probably are wrong about some things. that’s just the nature of piecing together a story we weren’t meant to see. there are things we missed. things we misunderstood. things we only understood in hindsight. but at the same time — as some details have fallen away, so many more have been confirmed or made clearer with time. blocked interviews, old footage, behind-the-scenes leaks, deleted clips, unreleased lyrics — they’ve only made the picture sharper.

so when people ask, why the cover-up? why so much denial? — the answer is, because they never had another option.

this started in 2010. long before they were ready. long before they were famous enough to push back. and once the narrative was in motion, it had to keep going. the more their fame grew, the harder it was to untangle. one direction was the first social-media-made boyband, and that changed everything. before that, hiding things was easier — call up a tabloid, pose with a girl, plant a story. but as tech evolved — camera phones, twitter, stan culture — the control had to evolve, too.

and when you’re dealing with artists who can’t speak freely — who are bound by contracts, management, NDAs, and brand deals — sometimes the only option left is to erase the past and replace it with something easier to swallow.

and the truth is: most people don’t remember

they weren’t here for the beginning. they didn’t see the shift happen in real time. they’ve only seen louis post-2019. they don’t remember the glances, the lyrics, the tattoos, the interviews, the way he lit up next to harry. they never saw the subtle rebellion, the patterns, the coded language. they don’t see the full picture — because they were never given the full picture.

and unfortunately, context does disappear. media gets deleted. clips get scrubbed. narratives change. and unless you’ve spent years watching, researching, connecting dots — you’ll probably miss the nuance. and most people don’t want nuance. they want simplicity. they want red carpet kisses, instagram stories, public drama. they want what’s entertaining — not what’s true.

when your career depends on a public image, and you’re not allowed to tell the truth — you give the public a truth that works. and right now, that version of the truth is: louis is a straight, grounded solo artist dating someone who’s relevant and visible.

is it real? no. is it frustrating? absolutely. but is it strategic? without question.

if you're part of louis' team, and you're trying to keep him in the media, keep his name trending, or build a “palatable” narrative for the GP — you lean in to the image that works. and if you’re family or friends, you might go along with it (or stay silent like mark) because you know it’s not your story to fix. you know he can’t say what he wants to say — not yet. and maybe not ever. but like you said: you can’t erase a decade of truth just because it’s inconvenient now. you can’t erase the glances, the lyrics, the silences, the symbols. you can’t reduce layered, complicated people into one flat narrative.

and you absolutely can’t convince someone who’s been watching this unfold for 10+ years that their instincts, their memories, and their research are completely imagined.

[atwoodsfemalefantasy]

ik this is kinda a post to the void, but i'm excited! i think ive decided to go to an all women's college, and the idea of it is making me really happy. i've been striving toward Ivys my entire life, but especially after the election and my radfem awakening, i just don't think i'll feel safe, comfortable, or even happy in a place filled with mostly rich white males. i have the grades and scores for an Ivy, or at least a really good chance, but i just no longer think it's the right place for me. i can't stand the thought of being around rich, entitled assholes, many of them conservative.

i started thinking about womens' colleges a while ago, but it was hard to find a great women's college that was also a great creative writing school, and i was still holding on to the dream of the prestige of an Ivy, but i've been feeling more and more disgusted and unsafe around men lately, and wanting to decenter men, and find a place apart from men. i know so many people here have posted about wanting to live in an all female place, and i feel really lucky im around college age, and i can make that at least a temporary reality.

the thought of being around only women is exhilarating. for once, i could feel completely free and safe. i write feminist horror/short stories, so a women's college would have a much more in-line environment for my academics than an Ivy. i just love women so much, and a place with only us makes me so happy. making female friends, supporting to and connecting with other women, and even just...knowing im safe and in a female centric environment sounds amazing to me.

this world is getting overwhelming as a radfem. id much rather know the truth, but its so hard to be a radfem and have hope. it gets hard to be around men, to be forced to trust them. i wish we could legitimately make female only societies, but at least i can surround myself with women in college.

for the first time, i'm not stressed for college-i'm just excited!

[starstickerzzz]

IM FINALLY MAKING AN ACTUAL INTRO POST!!! YIPPEEE!!! 🥳✨

(Ignore the fucked up lettering)

ANYWHIZZLE!! I’m River!! Or starr or jade or whatever you wanna call me idc I’m indecisive lolz :b

My pronouns are She/her!!

Art tag is #starstickerzzzartz

Text post tag is #starspeakz

Random facts about me:

🌟my favorite color is dark cherry red

🌟my favorite animal is a tanuki

🌟My music taste is mostly alternative or indie anything and other random shit especially stuff that reminds me of or is connected to a fandom I enjoy !!

🌟I love dad jokes and humor in general,one of my favorite things to do is to make people laugh

🌟I would genuinely sacrifice myself in a second for the people I care about

🌟my favorite drink is coffee

🌟my favorite dessert is mochi of any kind

🌟my favorite food is Mexican food and Easy shit like ramen

🌟I grew up surrounded by Mexican culture and love to speak Spanish or use Spanish words (lmk if I accidentally say something you don’t understand lol)

🌟I’m actually Russian tho

🌟I’m in the us tho lol :b

I am adhd (and many other diagnoses and neurodivergencies but we don’t gotta talk abt that rn I’m fucked up lol) and I’m EXTREMELY hyperfixated on rottmnt,sonic and mob phyco 100!! :3 (edit:I also love Creepypasta/marble hornets!!!!)

I also like other fandoms like dog man and other stuff as u will see from my re-posts lolz :3

Other things enjoy are writing,photography,learning shit,animals,nature,skateboarding and anything that is fun and whimsical >:3

I am 18 years old (19 on June 27th this year)

I am lesbian and asexual as fuck (my gf is @skelebab 🌟)

So I hate nsfw stuff and also don’t flirt with me please lol

I post art and shit sometimes but not a lot recently since I’ve been struggling to art fr

I also make a lot of text posts mostly fandom related or other stuffs like funny or wholesome shit that happens to me or that I do that I think yall would like but really I just post whatever I want lol

I love to make friends!!! I try to support people on here as much as I can!!

This blog is a safe space for everyone unless you suck or are basic dni type shit u know who u are lol

Feel free to comment, send asks, message me, vent, or interact in any way you would like too! I can’t always promise to do art requests I get as arting is hard sometimes fr but I try to !! I will most likely respond to interactions unless they are wierd or gross and it makes me extremely happy so don’t be shy!!!

Anyways I love you guys let me know if I can ever do anything for you or if you need a friend or some support. I am here for you guys always 💝

Use this post as a message board if you would like, comment whatever you want whenever you want it makes me genuinely happy, ask me stuff, say random shit,info dump, share cool facts, etc!! Have fun it will absolutely make my day 💝

K bai :3

[bloodibambiidoll]

After much thinking, I’ve decided to make a new blog. I’m going to leave this one up because it’s special to me and I don’t want to repost all my writings. I want to start completely fresh. Also, I might want to come back to it one day. This blog used to be my safe space. But over time I feel that it’s just become more and more of a negative space for me where I feel unsafe and anxious. I’m not running away, but I do need a space that doesn’t feel surrounded by negativity. I don’t want to leave tumblr entirely. I love the friends I’ve made, I love reading your fics, I love writing and thirsting after my fictional men.

I might come back to this blog one day, but for now, I think this is what’s best for me. It’s something I’ve been considering back and forth for a while now. This account just feels tainted for a multitude of reasons that I don’t feel the need to go into detail about. I always said I’d never get pushed off my blog, and this isn’t that. I just need something new, that I can build from scratch again. I was unsure if I wanted to share my new account publicly or just have people find me naturally, but not for the sake of hiding, but I think for my own piece of mind, please message me (off anon) if you’d like my new user. I’ll be honest about it if people ask if it’s me, and eventually I’ll probably link my old masterlists on my new blog. For now though, while I’m getting my bearings, I think this is the best choice for me.

This blog has meant so much to me. I’ve put blood, sweat, and tears into building this space and it’s been through a number of changes over the last two years. But there was always people who stuck with me through it. Read my works even if they weren’t in that fandom, just because they like my writing. The support and love I’ve received here has made every single ounce of negativity worth it. All the friends I’ve made along the way, have forever changed my life. This blog gave me the courage to write a real novel, which I had convinced myself I could never do years ago. Even if it’s always been my dream. So thank you, for everything. I love you all immensely. Goodbye for now.

-Dolly

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

@steddie-week Day 6 - Dizzy / Drunken Concussion confessions

i'm challenging myself to keep each of these at 660 words; see day one for more of an explanation!

“C’mon guys, one of you’s gotta wanna ride this with me?” The others blink up at him, around at each other, “Seriously? No one?” 

“I’ll ride with you, Ed–”

“Oh no you don’t,” Robin interrupts, shutting down Steve’s very good idea about riding the Zipper with him.

“C’mon Birdie, let a man live! The fair only comes around once a year.”

“And someone only has one brain, one that’s been bruised one too many times already.”

“Pfft, you’re no fun.” he says, waving her off, “So who’s goin’?”

It’s actually Will that steps up to go with him, after Dustin’s enthusiasm for going is shot down by Steve’s “Hell no, Henderson, you’re breakable enough as it is already.”

He and Will climb into their already swinging little pod and sit down, strapping the well-worn buckles around them, “Y’ready for this, Baby Byers?”

“Uh.. Sure, Eddie, Ready!”

“Don’t be nervous little man, carnival rides are always safe.”

And fun. The Zipper’s always been his favorite at the carnival, can’t get the swoopy guts like this on just any ride.

Even Will’s having fun, no matter the apprehensive look he had when they got on.

“Okay, Baby Byers, this’s us,” he says when he feels their buggy do it’s final swoop into the loading area. He unbuckles his seatbelt, goes to stand, and gets a faceful of metal for his efforts.

The next thing he’s aware of is a concerned voice calling his name. 

“Eddie? Eddie! You okay?”

“Steve?” his eyes find the both of him rushing forward, “Stevie! Darling!”

“He was fine until the very end,” Eddie hears Will explaining from underwater, “He unbuckled just a second too soon and got thrown into the bars.”

Steve does his disappointed tsk at someone, “Ooh, you’re in trouble now.” he says to whatever unfortunate soul is on the receiving end. He can’t quite parse out who it is, probably whichever one of them got hurt on the Zipper.

“You’re the one who got hurt, Doofus.”

“He’s not Doofus, Birdie, he’s Dingus. Always getting himself dinged up.” She must be talking about Steve.. Wait.. “Stevie got hurt? Who hurt him?!” Eddie wheels around to look for the bastard who hurt his Stevie, only getting a swirl of color and a supporting arm to the chest for his troubles.

“Okay, big guy, let’s get you looked at before you do or say something stupid.” Steve says, pulling him up. “I’ll take him to the medical tent, he probably has a concussion.”

“You’re a concussion,” Eddie says automatically

“I’ve had a good couple, yeah.”

Eddie lets Steve lead him wherever it is he wants to go (“The medical tent, Eds, I’ve told you that already.”) and is soon laid back on a creaky examination bench.

“He’s gott’n a percussion, doc.” Eddie patiently explains to the volunteer nurse, “You gotta check ‘im out, he’s got an ass that never quits.”

“Never quits what, Mr. Munson?”

He’s not quite sure, actually. “Uh.. bein’ an ass.”

Someone’s doing a bad job at hiding their laughter. “Gotcha, I’ll make sure to take a look.”

“No, wait! You can’t! That ass is mine, sister.”

The nurse giggles again, “I’m sure it is, Mr. Munson.”

“Yeah you better leave, hussy–”

“Eddie!”

Oh no, Steve’s mad at him, “What?”

“You can’t call people that, especially not the ones trying to fix your head.”

“Hey, my head is great! Get compy– coplay– compli— I’m great at head.”

“I’m sure you are.”

Eddie can hear the smile in Steve’s voice, and makes a point to find it. 

It’s there beside him, surrounded by the most beautiful blush. “I love you, Stevie.”

The smile disappears, and that’s not what he wants to happen at all. He can feel his eyes start to burn with tears. “Eddie? Eddie, what’s wrong?”

“I made your smile go away.”

“No– Hey, it’s okay, I was just surprised; You’ll see it again.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” The smile is back in his voice.

and, say it with me folks, they aren't even dating!!

if anyone doesn't know, this one on the left is the zipper

on AO3 here!

[dontdoxarya]

I don’t believe in Favorite Person shit.

Or rather it is HEAVILY MISUNDERSTOOD. I WILL STAND ON THAT.

It often seems like people see a favorite person being a Favorite person because of who THEY are as a person. Like… their traits or how they make you feel. I fucking disagree.

After a whole deep dive into my brain (no substances FWIW). Just good ol radical acceptance. It’s fucking bullshit.

I’ve had FPs I didn’t even like. Or I hated. Or just barely knew.

Why? Because a FP has nothing to do with them. It’s not about who they are what they are like. Not about what they make you feel as an individual.

It is all about externalizing your brain trauma onto them.

If you are fucking lonely. ANYONE who represents proof that the little voice in your head; your history; were wrong. You will gobble that shit up.

Oh you wish you had… yeah. Now this person is that thing. You aren’t actually even looking at a person. You are looking at a concept in your head.

If you had shitty unavailable parents. You aren’t loving the person who IS available. You are just trying to prove to yourself that you didn’t deserve unavailability. “Yay…. There’s tangible proof that my parents were bad and I didn’t deserve any of it.”

Cause it’s BORDERLINE. BPD. BORDERLINE.

There is no “IM SO HAPPY MY LIFE IS BETTER THAN IT WAS.” Nope. “We are fixed. Look! People like us. We are fixed.” I promise you that shit will happen outside of “people” you “know”.

A hookup that felt safe? Yeah. Sorry look at this sign that you didn’t desereve the abuse you dealt with. HAHAHAHAHHAHH BRAIN. You were so wrong.

You’ll do it with non-people too.

Cats. Fucking cats.

“My cat sat with my roommate today. He got bored of me.” Nah. That’s a fucking cat. Bitch doesn’t speak. Just says meow. “She doesn’t like me. My room just has a view of birds” oi. What are are you on about. That’s not a person.

When you are miserable in your job. Your hobbies will become your personality.

Anything to self-soothe and tell yourself you are okay.

Cause there can only be one. Only one thing.

If something loves you neverendingly. If you love one thing non stop?

That’s your proof. You have proved whatever it is wrong.

Instead of obsessing over just the symptoms. Ask yourself why.

“Why can’t I placate myself?”

“Why can’t I be happy when people aren’t available 24/7?”

“What can I do to love myself better?”

Nothing and no one can fix you. Make you not hate yourself.

Im sorry love. I really am. I don’t want to break your bubble.

It’s not about “people leave”. That’s defeatist and sad. Nihilistic even.

But you can’t keep papering over cracks your whole life. You can’t stay stuck fixing symptoms when a route cause exists.

Instead of asking “why that person.” Ask “why that behavior.”

The person is just a person who cares for you. That’s it. There is NO DEEPER MEANING TO EXPLORE. They love you. So they support you.

So why is it you can’t accept it?

Why can’t you trust it?

Why can’t you be that person for yourself?

Make peace with the fact that no one can meet those BPD needs for you. No one but you. It will take support from community and therapists and whatever.

But putting in the legwork is on you.

You have to be willing to grow.

And if you can’t do it for yourself? Do it for people around you. No amount of people can force you to love yourself.

I say that as someone surrounded by love.

No amount of sex can make you feel attractive. Deep in your bones. Doesn’t matter how many hot women find me pretty. If I hate myself I hate myself.

Your goal can’t be to not see a “favorite person” as that anymore. Cause you will make someone else that person later.

It has to be to move past having them. Past the obsession over having your needs met. It’s okay to say “thanks for meeting me needs. Talk to you later.” It ain’t that deep. Everyone has their needs met by people they care about.

I’m sorry that you didn’t growing up. But yeah…

Im out of shit to say.

This was either deeply profound.

Or extremely benign.

Or worse. Preachy.

Genuinely? Let me know

[kaurwreck]

Oh I loved your post about the whole guild arc and ADA&PM complicated relationship, that was beautifully written and it captured everything that I couldn't put it into words myself.

And the way you talked about Mori? Thank you, thank you thank you! While I'm don't mind the fandom misinterpretation of characters, it was quite refreshing to see someone talk about Mori as a human being that's not purely evil.

Now if you if you don't mind.. I need to know your opinion on this hypothetical theory: that Mori regrets everything he has done to Dazai and Yosano (this is canon) and he is actually trying to change and do better (the hypothetical part).

This is why he wants both Dazai and Yosano back, other than the fact that he cares for them, he also wants to try again and do better.

My reason for saying this is:

Looking at chaptet 14, if everything is taken at face value, when Mori makes the strategic decision to sacrifice Akutagawa for avoiding an all-out turf and keeping peace, it's really similar with how he sacrificed Oda to avoid bigger conflicts in future**.

But while looking at the meeting Higuchi had with Mori at the start of the chapter, somethings bothered me 1) Mori's inscrutable stare at Higuchi's reaction when he mentioned the possibility of Akutagawa not recovering 2)how Mori specifically lets Higuchi to know what will becomes of Akutagawa's situation and what PM's solution for it would be.

This made me think Mori knew what action Higuchi would take later and was counting on it. Plus I'm pretty sure Mori knows Akutagawa and Gin are siblings, so he also knew Gin also would go save her brother.

And I find it odd how in this chapter everything got resolved with 1)PM winning and their enemies destroyed 2)PM managed to take back their stolen agent 3)the whole thing was in the end just a squabble between agents and nothing more.

What I'm trying to say is, I like to think Mori values his agents more now and wouldn't just sacrifice them in a cold and calculating scheme. Maybe I'm reading to much into things here...

(**I know comparing the dark era situation with Oda and chapter 14 like this isn't quite right but that's the only frame of reference I could think of)

anon thank you <3 I don't get why people want him to be pure evil. it's so much more fucked up and richly acidic that he loves fiercely and jealously and feels their loss like a brain bleed.

i don't think he regrets it though. he says as such to hirotsu with regard to dazai while staring at the old boss's bed. he'd do the same, again and again and again. what he did re: the great war was try to stop war; and because of what he did re: mimic, yosano and dazai live in a world where they are safe and loved and driven to save and love others. mori may want them back, but mori wants lots of things he can't have (control, ango's head on a spike, verlaine to stop smoking indoors). he can live with want. it's senseless loss of life that won't do.

also, re: akutagawa, yeah, i have no idea why people think mori would sacrifice akutagawa. like, even if you think mori is evil, like. why would he do that. to what end.

but!!!!!!!!!! anon, you've misunderstood our wife. mori didn't make a strategic decision to sacrifice akutagawa either. mori made the strategic decision to surround akutagawa with people who won't let him self destruct. mori is aware that akutagawa is a horse hellbent on breaking his own legs, and he accounts for it.

and it's not because he's changing. he doesn't need to change, there isn't anything wrong with him. that is how he loves; he meets the needs of his people by placing with others and in positions where they have a support network. this is literally canon, like, it is both illustrated and exposited in stormbringer, and also literally every arc.

mari mori wrote about this trait of irl mori's btw:

"It was not his fault if his love, despite its depth and greatness, lacked warmth. Like a creature carrying its shell, he had this lump inside him and yet he loved people. I can see this clearly in my mind's eye."

he's also always valued his people. when the flags were killed, mori attended their funerals with their families. re: oda, mimic was destabilizing the city and killing his people. mimic was an existential threat who wouldn't stop until they got what they wanted. the special division backed mori into a corner by predicating legitimacy and his capacity to realize the entire point of him spending years in the grime and bloodshed that was seizing control of the port mafia on him demonstrating that the port mafia could contain the violence. and they had JUST started to recover from the dragon head conflict. it wasn't cold or calculating, it was a trolley problem and mori doesn't love it when the french kill his people en masse, which is a thing that keeps happening to him.

anyway, below i explain why mori was livid at higuchi. it has to do with higuchi being a horse girl.

Akutagawa kills the way pet dogs and cats do when allowed to free roam, which is superfluously and way outside of the scope of necessity. He quite literally violates his express orders from Mori so frequently that Mori says, "Besides, Akutagawa-kun has always been that way. Going rogue, destroying everything in his path, and contributing the most in the end. One could say he has a knack for it. There's no need to punish him as long as he keeps succeeding."

Consider what "succeeding" means in the context of that particular quote from Mori— Akutagawa has both protected the city and himself survived it. The only time Mori has remarked that Akutagawa failed, it's not only that Akutagawa did not traffic Atsushi, it's that he lost himself, engaged in relentless violence without any regard for his own life, and blew up in a ship because of it. And he did it for nothing. Nothing was gained from him nearly self immolating. There was no purpose to it. Not only has Akutagawa potentially rendered himself permanently comatose, but he did so in such a way that invited others to come finish the job, and Mori can't act to protect him without risking greater escalation.

Mori is furious, not because he considers Akutagawa expendable, because Akutagawa treated himself as if he were. He doesn't even call Akutagawa a liability; he says being retaliated against is a liability, Higuchi accuses him of calling Akutagawa a liability, and he affirms that Akutagawa is talented and his violence (their currency) outclasses anyone in the Port Mafia, and then asks her, "But what about you? Have you ever thought about whether you are suited for this work?"

Mori knows and values Akutagawa for who he is, but because he knows who Akutagawa is, he knows Akutagawa is prone to and invites violence onto himself. Higuchi has a skill, but not one that is apparent or combative. She is clumsy, not particularly skilled at fighting, and hopelessly silly. She also adores Akutagawa, she looks at him like he hung the moon, she trips over herself to attend to him. And, when she thought Byakko was about to kill Akutagawa, she intervened to draw it away from him, and when Akutagawa thought Byakko was about to kill her, he did not hesitate to lash out to kill before it could. He does not instinctively protect himself, that's much of what Dazai's acts of violence were meant to build from scratch, but he does instinctively protect Higuchi.

Mori is angry at Higuchi when she wasn't even on the ship with Akutagawa, and he remarks with utter disdain on the choices they made that led to that moment, including the raid on the Agency. He tells her Akutagawa is good at violence, but does she really think she's suited for it? Gin holds a knife to her throat, and Hirotsu reminds her that while she has the authority to command them, it isn't their titles that command their loyalty, it's their reverence for Akutagawa, and she should consider what there is for them to respect with Akutagawa unable to move. It's easy to construe this as suggesting they don't respect her or would be quick to kill one another if given the opportunity because they're scary, violent mafioso. Then, she flashes back to Akutagawa's deranged bombing of the smugglers. Which he did without her, she was running to catch him and insisting she was supposed to assist him, he tells her he doesn't need anyone, and then he scampers off to go make terrible choices. She reflects to herself that she isn't suited to the Mafia, that she sought to leave it but then stayed, evidently because of him. In the end, it's her stubbornness and willingness to rescue him that compels Black Lizard to not only join her but give her deference as their commander.

She is not suited to violence, but her authority in the Port Mafia is such that she only answers to Mori and Akutagawa.

irl!Higuchi added a special awareness of suffering and sensitivity in her exploration of low-life characters. That's what she's good at. She shouldn't forget it, those low-lifes need her.

(but also, literally, yeah; Gin is his little sister and Mori has ALWAYS trusted his silliest, most idiot babies to Hirotsu. Hirotsu is like that elderly gray wolf in yellowstone who just gave birth for the 10th time and uses her aged sagacity to keep the other wolves out of trouble. just like that wolf, Hirotsu is old as shit by Port Mafia standards. and has shown no evidence of menopause.)

[aworld-inpink]

Lucifer, Mammon, Levi and Asmo with an Asexual!MC

oh baby this is completely self indulgent, Christmas is coming up so I'm writing this as a treat for me, myself and I

The boys are so precious to me and I just know they would be so supportive, I just didn't wanna write for all of them cause I felt like these ones were already getting a bit repetitive, so I just left it

I hope you enjoy ★

Lucifer:

Avatar of pride

Avatar of pride month

I feel like Luci would be very much "supportive papa who doesn't fully understand, yet only cares that you're happy"

In a relationship context, I don't think he would mind if MC wasn't into exploring that branch of relationship

He definitely values companionship over any sexual gratification within relationships

Alternatively, like any of the other boys, if MC wasn't necessarily sex repulsed, and was interested in exploring things, he would be there to guide and support them

Mammon:

I love this little guy

He would be SO supportive

He might have to do a bit of research into what that means, and he might ask MC what that means for them specifically

But bro? Literally the goat

MC would find little ace pins on their bed a couple days after they came out

A flustered Mammon would refuse any responsibility for them being there

He's so supportive, but one of the ones that wouldn't know how to show it properly

If they were in a relationship, it would be the same

Their first man is always gonna be there for them, no matter what :)

Leviathan:

He sorta knows what it is because one of Ruri-chan's buddies is ace coded and he's seen discourse about it in forums

I feel like he would be a little uninformed, but he's actually really interested in learning about it

(especially since it concerns both his Henry and Ruri)

Would become a bit of a mini expert on MC's identity to the point where they would playfully poke fun at him for it

(Though they do appreciate the thought behind it)

But anyways, he wouldn't care that much

In a supportive way

It's just another facet of MC, and it doesn't change who they are to him, so what's the big deal?

When it comes to being in a relationship with MC, I feel like he would be a little bit relieved

He has really bad anxiety whenever he thinks about being that intimate with them anyway, so really this is more than fine to him

He's the guy in their corner that they can go to when they're feeling down in the dumps about being ace, or when someone disregards their identity :)

Levi would be the most understanding of any bigotry or acephobia they receive, and tries his best to make his room a safe space for them

I can't lie, I see him as greyace a little bit

Asmodeus:

Asmo's interesting, cause I think a lot of people misunderstand his character a bit

He would fully embrace MC's asexuality, seeing it as a reassurance that they're not only interested in him because of pleasure or lust

I feel like it would help him recognise that sometimes he doesn't have to be completely suave and passionate, at least in that sense, and that there's someone out there who cherishes him without the sexual aspects

It would be good for him, I think

Not that I think he has a lot of issues surrounding his sin, but I do think that the reassurance would boost their relationship in his mind, at least a little

In a relationship, he would be the same way

With maybe an additional conversation about where they lie on the spectrum of asexuality, and their attitude towards it, just so he knows what their boundaries are and such

Would 100% make ace themed makeup looks during Pride

(He confuses a lot of demons when he posts the pictures on Devilgram, and he gets a lot of sweet but unnecessary supportive comments from his fans - has to clear the confusion up later that day after Satan sends him a supportive message too)

[tortureandtickles]

ranting on my safe space when no one actually knows who i am, so keep scrolling if you don’t wanna see lame shit ❤️

i feel so fucking lonely all the time. i genuinely have no one in my life that i could call a friend. someone who helps me when i’m down, someone i can just “hang out” with whenever i wanted. I hardly text anyone, i don’t talk to anyone in real life and it’s the most loneliest feeling i’ve ever experienced. i’m surrounded by people every single day but i still feel completely invisible, and i truly wonder if anybody would actually notice if i wasn’t here anymore. would anyone care? would anyone actually miss me?

i HAD friends. i HAD people in my life who supported me and one day recently it just felt like they all stopped caring at the same time. no one checks in anymore. i have to message first if i want have a conversation. and i don’t know what i did to make people hate me so much?

i feel like i don’t matter to anyone, and i hate myself because of it.

[joscribblescomics]

😮‍💨TIRED DAYS😔

This isn't how I wanted my first art dump to go, but you guys deserve some sort of update on my current situation.

I thought things finally slowed down when I made my last post... i was doing so well and feeling better! but I was horrible wrong. Life got way too much and hectic way too fast... There is so much happening all at once, one right after another, leaving no space for me to breathe. Even the littlest normal things that shouldn't overwhelm me OVERWHELM ME!

I am okay, my homelife isn't bad! I'm safe and surrounded with love and support! I'm just... Tired... I'm so tired.... for YEARS... i've been socially drained... im.. tired of people, and i hate thinking and saying that! Because I have nothing against people! I want to be around others, friends, and family! But even a few hours of socializing makes me want to burrow away in my bed and sleep for a year or two.

It's because I can't support myself... not yet anyways... I feel like I have no control over my life. I've always had to adapt to other's schedules and routines... never takeing things at my own pace. It's extremely exhausting, and I can't say no because it's just helping family... and I love my family...

I feel selfish wanting to get away, but it isn't... isn't it? You can love people and still have boundaries... love from a distance...

So... I'm sorry for disappearing and worrying anyone, but I'm NOT sorry for trying to function and get better... even if that means separating from social media, and just because I'm not posting doesn't mean I'm not drawing and making progress, because I am! but I'm going to do it at my own pace.

That's the one thing I can control. So please, be patient with me because I AM TRYING and will never give up on drawing.

||Oh! ps. Sketch is alright. He's just happy that I'm back.... and mad, lol.||

I'll be okay.. I promise 😌

|| welp! Hope yall enjoy my little vent art (and ranting). It helps to get it out.See you next time, goobers! Stay safe and take the time to be kind to yourself.||

[beautifulqueerexistence]

Trans spirituality - A Nonbinary Rant

I know there’s a ton of pressure on trans people to transition to a point of passing… but does anyone else feel like they’d still be trans no matter what life they were put in? Like transness is inherently connected to their spirit? And the experience by itself, even with all the rejection and waiting and pain and frustration that comes with it, was always written to be a part of you?

I was never someone who “always knew.” I grew up in an environment that didn’t allow for that, with princess toys and dress up stuff shoved in my hands before I could form a full sentence. And I was, objectively, happy. I carried those experiences until I was 18. My makeup was always done, my clothing was always feminine, I got GOOD at being a girl.

And then, one day, I realized I didn’t HAVE to be. I learned about HRT, I learned about top surgery and binding and packing… and it felt like this other piece of me just… woke up. And never went back to sleep. I fought it for YEARS, pushing off the nagging feeling that HRT and Top surgery were for me. But that piece of me just would not go back to dormancy. They refused. And I couldn’t keep fighting them, I was suffocating myself by pretending they weren’t there.

I was never painfully miserable being a woman, but I knew something wasn’t right. I’m two years on T, almost a month post op after Top Surgery, and being a man feels the same way. Neither are bad, neither are miserable, and I could safely live in both experiences with mild discomfort.

But something in me was always meant to be trans.

Those bandages came off, and I saw my scar shape for the first time, and the flat chest felt like mine… but the SCARS also felt like mine. It’s as if they were always meant to be there. The piece of me that woke up finally took a breath. With every weekly T shot, they take a breath. With every day I wear eyeliner, they take a breath. With every day I grow out my facial hair, they take a breath. That piece of me thrives in the in between. I thrive in the in between.

I think we get so caught up in the experience of dysphoria that we almost forget to discuss the relief and poetry that comes from being trans. In the face of being disowned and ridiculed and threatened, I’m surrounded by the most sincere, supportive, REAL people I could ask for. In the anxiety of battling insurance and laws, I get to exist as my own act of defiance against those who can’t, or won’t even try to understand me. I got the amazing chance of living in the in between and living a life that can only be understood if you live it. And while I’m not trying to dismiss the very real pain and very real struggle that comes from being genderqueer, especially in conservative environments and in the light of recent laws… I try to take time to be thankful that I have spirit worth working for. A spirit worth struggling for. And that the experiences adjacent to that have made me a more empathetic individual to those in other in betweens. That I really, truly appreciate my body and what it’s done for me, because I had to fight to make it mine.

That piece of me just woke up one day, and I don’t think I’d want them asleep again even if I could choose.

[fanfics4all]

Fire and Ice

Request: Yes / No Fluffcember Day 13! 

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Caitlin Snow x Male!Reader 

Word count: 780

Warnings: Just cool fluff!

Y/N: Your Name 

Y/L/N: Your Last Name

Prompt(s): Fire and Ice

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

If you enjoy my work, you could also show support by buying me a coffee! 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

*Caitlin’s POV*

I never expected to fall for anyone again, let alone someone with powers similar to Ronnie's. However, life was unpredictable, and when I met Y/N Y/L/N, a quiet, kind man with a fiery power running through his veins, my guarded heart began to melt. 

We met one night at S.T.A.R. Labs, Y/N had been hurt after helping evacuate a burning building, his burns healing quickly but leaving him exhausted. Barry brought him in and I treated him, carefully checking his injuries and listening to his story. He explained that he had the ability to control fire, and his power had developed a strange twist. He could heal others along with himself with his flames, though at the cost of exhausting himself. 

At first, we were just two metas trying to understand each other’s abilities. I shared my experiences with Killer Frost, and he listened patiently, always interested and never judgemental. It was rare for me to feel understood, and I found myself drawn to his warmth. 

Over time, we started seeing each other outside the lab. We’d meet for coffee at jitters, walk through the city’s parks, or sit by the river, talking until the sun dipped below the skyline. I was cautious, my emotions tangled and conflicted, but I couldn’t help but feel safe with Y/N. 

One snowy evening, as we walked along the waterfront, the city lights casting a soft glow over the water, Y/N took my hand. I felt the heat of his skin against mine, like a gentle ember in the cold night. My powers, reacted instinctively, cooling my skin in response. It was like a delicate dance of fire and frost. Our powers balanced each other in a way that felt oddly perfect. 

“Do you ever worry about… us?” I asked, looking at our intertwined fingers. 

“Our powers, I mean. They’re so different.” Y/N smiled, his warm eyes meeting mine. 

“I think that’s what makes it work. You bring balance. Fire can be destructive, but it can also protect, warm, and heal. And ice… ice can be beautiful, pure, and it can soothe.” He said softly. He looked down, a hint of vulnerability in his voice. 

“You make me feel like… I don’t have to burn out to help people. Like there’s another way.” My heart swelled at his words. Here was someone who saw me as both Caitlin Snow and Killer Frost, who didn’t fear her powers or see them as a burden. He saw her as a whole. 

A few weeks later, Central City was hit by a heatwave, extremely unusual for the season. Team Flash speculated that it might be caused by another meta. We quickly discovered a rogue meta manipulating the temperatures. The city was in chaos, the oppressive heat becoming dangerous. Y/N insisted on helping, despite the toll his power would take. Together, Y/N and I devised a plan to bring the temperature down. We worked in tandem, he’d absorb and redirect the excess heat, while I would channel my ice to cool the surroundings. It was a risky maneuver, one that required complete trust between us. 

We stood side by side, facing the rogue meta and the blustering heat he emitted, I glanced at Y/N. He gave me a reassuring nod, his hand finding mine, grounding me. I took a deep breath, feeling the cool energy of Killer Frost rising within me. Together, we unleashed our powers, an extraordinary display of blue ice and red fire intertwining in the air. The cold surged from me, creating a wave of frost that clashed with the flames, while Y/N absorbed the tempered in intense heat. For a moment, it was like we were one. Our powers blend in a perfect balance. 

When it was over, the meta was subdued, the heatwave dissipated, and the city was once again safe. I felt exhausted but victorious, and as I stumbled, Y/N was there to catch me. His arms were warm and steady. 

“You did it.” He whispered, holding me close. I looked up at him, my breath coming out in a puff of frost against his cheek. 

“No. We did it.” I said softly, a small smile on my lips. 

Standing amidst the melting ice and the fading embers, I knew I was in love once again. Y/N had shown me a world beyond fear and restraint, one where fire and frost could coexist, each making the other stronger. He leaned down to kiss me, his warmth melting away the last of my doubts, I knew I’d finally found the love that was like Ronnie’s.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @lover-of-books-and-tea @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @kmc1989 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction @madammarvellous-blog1 @bruisedfists-and-splitlips @therealchoni 

[ofironandivory]

i wish i wasn’t fictosexual/fictoromantic. this shit is lonely as hell. any advice?

Hmm.. Each person deals with their ficto partners in different ways, and that's completely okay!

I'm not too sure what type of advice you're looking for, but here's some stuff that makes me feel more connected to my F/Os:

Messages from them.

Type out things they've said in canon, or that you wish they'd tell you, print them and keep them somewhere to read when you miss them!

Buy or make things that remind you of them.

From trinkets to perfumes to little notes and room decor, surrounding yourself with things that make you feel closer to your loves is a wonderful idea!

Imitate affection.

This one may be a little embarrassing to some, but it's important to remember that you can do anything you like as long as you're not harming yourself or other real people!

Stuff some gloves with something soft and sturdy and hold them. Put a shirt or other piece of clothing that reminds you of your F/O on one of your pillows so you can hold on to it at night. Play with your hair and think about your F/O doing it instead!

Most humans need physical affection to thrive, but more intimate affection can be hard to come across when one is only attracted to fictional folks, there's no shame in doing what's best for you and creating an environment where you feel safe and comfortable

Interact with fan made content of them.

This works even better if your partner isn't very present in their source, because others who appreciate them will take the time to create and post about them!

Read fanfiction about them, maybe some reader inserts to give you more ideas about your next date together or to just occupy your mind with thoughts of them! Make sure to show the writers some love and support too, if possible

Watch edits of them! Now, as a jealous ficto, I recommend avoiding the videos' captions and comments as much as possible. That way you won't have to deal with jealousy and it gives you a bit more self control over consuming media that upsets you; it's done wonders to keep me from doomscrolling

Look for fanart of them! Personally I'm a huge hoarder and I save up all my favorite pictures and fanarts of my beloveds, to a personal discord group with only myself in it! Do not reupload anything you gather publicly, respect the artists!

Find VAs who post about them or who have a similar voice to your partner (or what you imagine they sound like)! Saving up audios of your partner being motivational and romantic can really help you tackle things you're not looking forward to! Same rule applies to visual fanwork: do not reupload anything anywhere public, respect the artists!

Interact with their source.

Listening to voice lines, watching scene compilations, re-reading their story, replaying their game, rewatching their show; all of it can help you understand your partner more and bring you closure with their presence!

If you're a creative type, make something featuring them!

Write stories about you and them, draw the two of you together, sculpt a little figure of them, anything works! And don't you dare think your creations aren't good enough! All art created with love and passion is perfect, and the bonus of it making you happy and comforted just makes it all even more alive!

[perplexingluciddreams]

post of some disability aids/equipment that i hope for in future. (or think could help me). with pictures.

some of this is specific for disability, some is more general.

inspired by @aleswell post!

my body is very weak and floppy (low muscle tone). also have joint hypermobility. i need a lot of support to hold my body in good posture.

i need to be very reclined/tilted majority of the time. i spend a lot of time in bed, semi-propped-up with pillows. i hate my current bed a lot. it doesn't support my body well at all. it is also way too high - hard to get in and out of bed.

even if i get good supportive seating, i will still probably need to spend majority of my time in bed.

beds:

first picture is a montessori floor bed shaped like a house. i could put blankets or sheets over the top and make a safe den! i could make it really comfy for sleep. and low to ground is good. also wish for more "normal" bed like this one.

second picture is a safespace. basically same reason for why i like it. but also it is safer and maybe more comfy than the wood. it just looks nice to be in there.

third picture is a profiling bed. this is the best option for controlling my position and good support to sit in bed and keep everything aligned. but it is medical looking and i don't like it. it doesn't look as comfy or safe.

i wish there was a way to "merge" these into something perfect for me...

special chair:

picture is the Hydroflex chair from Careflex company. it comes with different back options and support options. so not always look exactly like this. it tilts and reclines with a remote. i think this is the chair i will try soon!

i hope 🤞🏻 if i get this, i will be able to go downstairs and be somewhere else than bed all day. (but that comes with its own challenges of being around people and more sensory input).

wheelchair/buggy:

first picture is a Permobil powerchair (don't know which one).

second picture is an adult buggy. brand is Axiom i think.

a powerchair would be great for tilt/recline options. BUT i don't know if i could manage to drive it myself all the time. it takes so much focus and effort and energy. and so hard, especially outside. i have low awareness of surroundings, so i feel scared and unsafe in powerchair outside.

so maybe a buggy or manual wheelchair with high level of seating support would be better. but i might get frustrated about can't control where i go. 🤷🏻‍♂️

for both of these, i would need a lot more extra supports and straps.

things i already have:

this exact bath lift, and this exact non-custom powerchair (bad👎🏻). i also have a stairlift (not this one).

the bath lift is good 👍🏻. but i can barely sit in this wheelchair. i hate it. it has no support and i can't tolerate this upright position for long at all. and struggle to manage drive it.

but it is the only reason i can go to appointments. so i am still grateful to have it. just hate the pain and fatigue and the difficult-ness.

sorry it got so long! i hope it is read-able.