#but i am way to spacey to write it now

[miscling]

i've been having a lot of conversations lately about how easy people find playing with me. i am a good toy

they say things like 'powerhouse' and 'built different' and 'such a fun dolly' and so on and i love it. once someone does something for the first time and hears the noises i make, they realise it too

i am so glad @eilrahcs-so-close is having a good time visiting me, i am having a good time too

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Yandere Silver Headcanons

adhlbfypfqeyvf If you want to know why this is coming out of nowhere... I've been cooking (talking) with friends about this concept for over a month and now I'm going to dump it all onto you 🤡 This interpretation of Yan!Silver is in part based on Elbert Greetia from Ikevil 💀 so uh… be warned…

Regular Silver, staring at this monstrosity: 😨 TRIGGER WARNINGS: (slow burn) yandere themes, (unintended) emotional manipulation, gaslighting, spying/stalking, unhealthy possessiveness and obsession, mentions of blood, (Silver’s) delusions, minor character death

***PLEASE NOTE: writing yandere content is NOT the same as supporting or approving of these behaviors irl. This is also NOT what I believe Silver is canonically like; this is only meant to be a creative reimagining/"what if" scenario.***

Curiouser and Curiouser...

It all starts off like a fairy tale come true. But like Hansel and Gretel stumbling upon the witch’s candy house or a frog set into a simmering pot, the heat—the horror—isn’t fully cranked up in the very beginning. A dream doesn’t start like a nightmare, the nightmare comes later. And you, like the fool you are, were lured in by the promise of sweets and a prince.

The boy you've been crushing on for the last several weeks shyly approaches you and confesses. Handsome, earnest Silver takes your hands in his and gives you that lopsided smile you've been admiring from a distance. He swears himself to you as your loyal partner, vowing to protect you from the things that slither in the dark and prey on the unsuspecting. To keep you from hurt and sadness forever and ever.

You're giddy—positively over the moon and the stars—to finally (and proudly!) call yourself his. Every time you look at him, you swear it feels like a thousand butterflies are fluttering in your chest, or like you’re losing yourself in the aurora of his eyes.

You tell him his eyes are mystifying and unique, that they’re something you could stare at forever. He doesn’t seem to get it at first, but is pleased nevertheless and thanks you for the compliment.

It’s not until a few weeks later that the ramifications come. One day, out of the blue, Silver gifts you with a piece of jewelry (a ring, a necklace, an earring, etc; whatever your preference is!). Embedded in it is a clear gemstone that refracts the light in pastel pink, baby blue, and pale purple… exactly like his eyes.

He helps you secure it on for the first time and oh, how gentle his touch is as his fingers brush against your skin. Silver gives that small smile that melts your heart. “There. This way, you’ll always have ‘me’ watching over you,” he says, lightly tapping the aurora-colored jewel, “even if I am not right at your side.”

Sometimes you feel Silver’s own gaze lingering on you too. You know him to be an airhead or half asleep most of the time, so the thought never occurs to you that this spacey behavior is odd. But once or twice, when you’re stealing glances back at him, you notice a seriousness set in his eyes, a darkness creeping into the light. The same deadset look that scares off children and makes others mistake him for someone far more aggressive than he actually is, you think.

He lingers close when you walk to and class together, his protective instincts sending him into action to catch you if you so much as stumble, and remove errant leaves and petals that tumble onto your hair. “I have you,” he reassures you, oblivious to the electricity in his touch and how it makes you leap. “Don’t worry.”

Silver acts as though you’re as delicate as glass and as pure as freshly fallen snow. It’s not uncommon for him to praise your positive traits (while totally overlooking your flaws) or talk about how good of a person you are—and that also drives him to keep you that way. Untouched, untroubled. He’s so quick to steer you away from stressful situations or charging in to settle an issue himself, typically by talking down the aggressors. That’s thoughtful of him… right?

He has the habit of falling asleep on you when he gets to be comfortable. You usually don’t mind it, but sometimes he gets a little too clingy in his sleep. It’s hard to pry him off when he looks so peaceful and mutters your name under his breath while he has your body in a death grip.

Silver takes you on quiet nature strolls. You often drift off the beaten path and wander deep into the woods behind NRC, far, far away from the other students and staff. The sun sinks and sinister sounds come from the dark—you get nervous and leap into his arms, asking Silver if you should turn back now. He agrees every time, walking you back and wishing you sweet dreams. By the time you collapse into your bed from exhaustion, you don’t realize he has stolen you away for the entire day for himself.

It’s strange. You start to get the sense that you’re seeing Silver in your dreams just as much as you see him in the waking world. Rarely do you fully recall the details of your dreams, but there’s always that vague feeling of catching a flash of silver hair or feeling the heat of his eyes uncomfortably pressing into you when you wake up.

You tell him about this and joke that maybe he’s using his UM to haunt your dreams. “It’s impossible. You’re not Rook-senpai,” you laugh. He chuckles at the idea. But oh, how weird. Somehow the conversation tends to steer toward whatever you happened to recall of last night’s dreams. If Rook appeared in your dream, Silver coincidentally slips him into the discussion. Lightly probing questions like, “What is your opinion of Rook-senpai?” and, “Are you comfortable around him?”

Silver tells you about the stories his father has shared with him from his travels. Many are folklore from different regions in Twisted Wonderland, but more recently he has been fixated on fairy tales from the Shaftlands. “A couple finds true love and live happily ever after, nothing able to tear them apart…” he says dreamily. “It sounds just like us.”

Silver appears stoic on the outside, but you know that’s not the case. A few months into the relationship, you become acutely aware of his insecurities and his low self-worth. Not strong enough, not long-lived enough, not alert enough, not… enough. He will never be able to repay his debt to his father, Silver has confided in you many times.

“It’s okay. You’re here now, and you’re doing your best to keep the people you love safe.” You do your best to soothe him in those moments of weakness, for which he is thankful for. With shining eyes, auroras in the dark, he whispers, “You’re so kind to me.” Raptly, as if beholding a higher being. “What did I do to deserve someone like you…?” And there it is again, that seriousness, the light fleeing from him, as he vows to repay your kindness.

You’re acquainted with Silver’s animal companions and get along with them. Now you’re noticing them everywhere, not just around Silver. In fact, you see them without Silver. Birds in the trees, a rabbit hopping alongside you, the stag poking its head out from the bushes.

Then those animals reappear when you meet up with Silver later, looking all innocent, while Silver asks you about your day. If there’s a slight discrepancy (due to poor memory) or a detail you overlooked, he’ll gently correct you or clarify. “Blueberry muffin? As I recall, you had a cranberry muffin for a midmorning snack.”/“Ah, you forgot to mention you asked Ace if you could borrow a pencil for the exam.” You blink, surprised. How did he come upon all that information? How can he recite your day better than you can? It doesn’t hit you until much later that his animal friends have been serving as his eyes and ears.

He sincerely apologizes to you when you confront him about it. “Please tell them I don’t appreciate them snooping!” you cry out. Silver promises he’ll ask them to curb their curiosity—and while it’s true that you no longer see the animals following you, you can still feel their beady gazes around every bend and corner. Paranoia claws at your scalp, and you try to calm your doubts with one thought: No way would Silver be encouraging this. I must be imagining things.

You try to get your mind off of your worries by hanging out with your classmates. Sebek, ever boisterous and over-the-top, uplifts your mood. Pretty soon, you’re chatting away with him at the lunch table (even if he loudly refers to you as a HUMAN), paying no mind to the shadow that has fallen over it until a deadly quiet voice speaks up.

“Sebek.” It is so cold, so hollow, it startles both you and Sebek when you realize the speaker is Silver. “I don’t like it when you talk with them like that.” Sebek makes to say sorry to his fellow knight—or is it to challenge him? You never find out, for Silver has grabbed you by the wrist and is yanking you away from him.

He doesn’t let go until you’re in a secluded area of the courtyard. There’s a red mark left behind, and it causes tears to well up in him. Silver collapse like a house of cards. He’s extremely apologetic—he has hurt you, hasn’t he? He failed to protect you. How terrible. He shouldn’t have done that, shouldn’t have been so petty and jealous.

It breaks your heart to see Silver a mess, blaming himself so profusely for what happened. You do whatever you can to calm him, and eventually the conversation somehow turns to you accepting some fault. It’s not, though, the little nagging voice in your head protests. You silence it, prioritizing the emotionally vulnerable Silver. “I’m sorry, I should have considered your feelings and avoided giving Sebek the wrong message. I’ll avoid getting all buddy-buddy with him in the future, okay?”

And it happens again, again, again. One by one, your friends are cut off from you in a similar manner. It’s always something they do or say that concerns your boyfriend, something that impedes or disrupts that pristine, picturesque fairy tale he has laid out in his head.

Silver’s presence in your life becomes increasingly invasive, like unwanted briars creeping into a garden, thorns cutting off your access to air. He’s soon consuming every second of your day, whether physically beside you or planted in your worried thoughts like a demon disguised as a guardian angel. You can’t do anything anymore without feeling anxious and watched.

He starts to talk about… strange things. Tall towers, glass coffins, the bars of a bird cage. All manner of motifs pulled from fairy tales, items and places meant to keep a character shackled and stowed away from the world. “I feel bad for the person locked up in them,” you’d tell him. “Sometimes,” Silver murmurs mysteriously, “people will take drastic measures to protect the ones they love.” You cannot explain why, but those exchanges leave you feeling immensely uneasy.

You timidly share your experiences with people you think are safe. Silver’s dorm members, his friends, his family. The people who know him best, who can maybe talk some sense into him. To your dismay, your concerns fall upon deaf ears. You earn many blank looks and dismissive comments, all citing Silver’s good nature. (“He loves you very much. This is his way of demonstrating that, he’s just sort of clumsy with it. Give him another chance.”/“That doesn’t sound like him. Are you sure you’re remembering it correctly?”/“You’re overreacting.”)

It beats down your spirit, starts to make you question your own judgment. You second-guess your words and actions. Is your perception of reality right when everyone else is telling you that you’re wrong, that Silver could never harm a fly.

Then comes the guilt like a wave crashing into you as you think about all the good times you’ve had together. Rose-colored days under a balmy blue sky. Your thoughts are like a brewing storm, and every evening when you tuck into bed, dread, unease, and uncertainty follow you.

You’re waking from the lovely dream that was a whirlwind romance, seeing Silver for the imperfect and obsessive person that he is. Unfortunately, you don’t have the heart to bring up the tough subject with him. He looks so darn happy with you, continues to dote on you and act the part of a valiant knight. Your mouth will open, then close again before any words can come out. It hurts, it hurts, and it is eating you up from the inside out.

You bottle it up for Seven knows how long, but it comes torrenting out one night. Silver is walking you home as per usual when you blurt out the suggestion of taking a break from each other. He stills, hurt crumpling his face. And then he has you by the shoulders, softly demanding to know what is wrong, has someone made you feel unwell? You, it’s you, you’re suffocating me, you want to say, but you cannot.

Silver presses and you resist, the two of you taking up the middle of main street with your desperate quarrel. He’s becoming increasingly frantic and desperate, his eyes dark and obsessive. It’s then that a passing mob student angrily speaks up, giving you a rough shove. You meet the hard ground, pain shooting through you. “Move already!” he gruffly stomps by—but he’s caught by Silver, his expression like clouds that have drowned out the moon. “You put your hands on them just now,” he says evenly. “Please apologize.”

“Like hell I will! They shouldn’t have been in my way,” the mob student grumbles. He attempts to leave but to no avail. There’s Silver walling off his escape route, an icy fury overtaking him.

You can’t bring yourself to watch what happens next. Wrenching your face away, you do your best to block out the horrible noises that come. The crunching of bones, the dull thud of flesh against something solid, agonized screaming. And then it’s silent.

You slowly gather the courage to dare a look at the scene. The world tilts, and bile rises in your throat. Silver calmly stands over a fallen figure. The street—and him—are painted in red. The mob student isn’t moving. Not anymore.

He smiles. The small, awkward one that once made your head buzz and cheeks flame. It only yields a gaping hole in your heart now. Silver strolls toward you, caked in blood but acting as though he isn’t.

You’re too paralyzed with fear to attempt backing away or rejecting his advances when Silver tenderly embraces you. You tremble violently, hiccups and tears spilling out.

A hand strokes your hair, his voice a lullaby to soothe you. “Shhh, shhh, shhh, it’s okay. You’re safe. I took care of the big, scary monster. You don’t need to look at it—it’s not fit for your eyes.”

Silver holds you and allows you to sob until you’ve tired yourself out and into a dream. He will carry you home, setting you down on your mattress like laying a corpse in its glass coffin and taking in the sight of you from the foot of the bed.

Not realizing that he, the knight, is the monster that keeps his beloved in a gilded cage. His arms and body, the bars that lock you in. Irony is a cruel mistress, and twisted is the love that it propagates.

[justasillylittlecritter]

Devotion

a/n: hi! thank you guys sm for the support on my last piece of writing! i am thinking about opening up requests, so if you guys have a request, then feel free to send it in! I'm only taking marauders requests at the moment tho! I will write poly!fics, x reader, and maybe smut depending on how i feel! thanks again!

Remus Lupin x reader

Content Warning: 18+, almost smut but not smut, and fluff :) lemme know if there are any other content warnings that should be added

Remus Lupin was the perfect gentleman. He knew when to say please and thank you. He offered to carry his friend's books. He held open doors for others and said good morning to everyone who came and went. He had these manners drilled into him as a child. He even reminds James when he should say please and thank you, and he gets on to Sirius when he says something rude. Remus Lupin happened to be a perfect guy in general. Obviously, he is not without his faults, but he is at least mindful and caring.

Knowing this, it still shocks you when he asks if he can help you while kneeling on the ground. His wide hazel eyes looking up into your suprised eyes with his hands on your hips.

It's dizzying to even think how you got into this situation. Remus and you were assigned together on a project for transfiguration. You both had decided it was best to work in his room. Remus and you were close friends up until now. Sometimes, you had wished you were more than friends, but you normally discard those thoughts almost immediately so as not to ruin your friendship. As of late, though, you seem to find yourself thinking about him more in a less friendly manner. Some of these thoughts have turned into dreams of a sexual nature. This has left you sexually frustrated in all the wrong ways. At this particular moment, your eyes happened to land upon Remus's hands as they were writing. His hands are quite big, and his fingers are long and slender. With that being said, you begin to get lost in thought. You hadn't really even noticed you were staring until Remus spoke up, "Hey, are you okay? You've been spacey all day."

There he goes again with being the perfect gentleman. Concerned for your well-being while looking at you with the softest eyes anyone has ever laid upon you. You hadn't even realized you were staring until now. You felt a pink heat rise to your cheeks as you turned around and muttered that you're fine. Remus had decided to let it be. That was until you both had accidentally touched hands while reaching for something, and you had flinched and backed away. He looked at you as if he hurt you. He opens his mouth as if to ask you something but falters until he finds the courage to speak up, "Okay, something is up with you, and i want to know what's bothering you. I didn't do anything to make you uncomfortable, did i?"

There he goes again. Sometimes, you wish he wasn't so kind. Maybe you would be able to tell him your thoughts a little easier if he wasn't such a good person. You looked up at him, and he was staring at you with such tenderness in his eyes. You could look into his eyes all day if he kept looking at you like that. You proceed to softly whisper, "I'm just...frustrated right now, and i can't quite focus." You put your book down and stand up to walk around and to try and get those thoughts out of your head. "Why are you frustrated? Did i do something to make you upset? I apologize if i did." He states. He hesitates slightly and says, "Is there anything i can do to make up for it?" You just stand there staring at him in disbelief. You don't quite understand the insecurity in his voice when he apologized. Why does he feel the need to apologize for something he did not do? You look at him as if he is the world, and you hope he understands what it means. You scoff before answering, " You didn't do anything. I just...I can't stop thinking about you." You barely whisper that last part. You continue, "I have just been having thoughts that lead to me being frustrated. You don't have to apologize for anything." You look down at your feet, too embarrassed to look him in the eye.

"What kind of thoughts?" This question shocks you a little, and you don't know how to answer it without potentially ruining a good friendship. You hesitate to answer, and Remus notices this. He gets up and walks to where you are standing. His hand meets your face and brings your head up to look him in the eyes. He lets out a breathy whisper, "Please - just please tell me." And with that, you try to look away but end up being drawn back by the soft look he is giving you. With a warm blush rising onto your cheeks again, you let out a whisper, "the thoughts are - sexual." And with that, Remus lets go of your face and drops to his knees. His hands find purchase upon your hips and those soft and kind eyes of his look up into yours from where he is kneeling. He proceeds to ask, "Please, can i help?" He has always been the perfect gentleman, yet this still shocks you. You say in a breathy whisper, "Yes, please." You always knew he was a perfect gentleman, but you really learned that night how he is perfect in more ways than one.

[agerefandomstuff]

little soldier boy???

I think he'd be small but also have bigger ages? But if you could write about him being a small guy it be much appreciated!

Soldier Baby - Is it Him or the Drugs?

Content warning: not kids’ appropriate media. and has not been censored to be even though it involves sfw age regression.

(if you’ve watched The Boys you have an idea of what to expect from the characters’ vocab and personalities.)

Word count: 3175

Tags/warnings: Regressor Soldier Boy - Ben, Caregiver Billy Butcher, Hughie Campbell, poor hughie’s always bullied, Soldier Boy and Butcher accurate cursing and sexual jokes, general vulgarity, Ben being borderline racist/sexist/homophobic/ OUTDATED THINKING except I didn’t actually wanna make it as bad as he actually can be and I also don’t know how to be, anxiety, mentions of drugs and alcohol, mentions of violence, threats, insults, French fries dipped in frosties, if that’s something that disturbs you idk, my American attempt at writing a British man played by a Kiwi man, first time regressing, confusion, panic, misunderstanding, I don’t know, Ben commenting bad things about The Little Mermaid, Butcher being dumb, Butcher taking charge and being a dad, not beta read. Never beta read. I don’t know who I would be if it was beta read.

Perhaps it was because he had taken too much. Or more likely Butcher gave him something laced since his body filtered out most drugs within minutes and he'd been feeling this way since he’d started yawning a couple hours earlier. His yawns started while watching dumb new century movies, one moment he was bitching to Hughie about how his generation relied too heavily on special effects instead of getting creative (like back in his day) the next he was getting asked when the last time he slept was. As if he was some toddler and not a grown fucking man who can occasionally yawn if he wants to damn it! Hughie might’ve been his “babysitter,” as Butcher titled it, when they were alone but he wasn’t a fuckin child for him to fuss over like some sniveling house wife.

“I’ve stayed awake for over a month before partying, kicking ass, and slinging pussy all while doing my damn job as a hero. Then I was asleep for decades because of Russian scum. This is nothing.” He growled at Hughie, the poor boy shaking like one of those fuckin rat dogs he use to see rich women carrying around at those mind numbing Vought galas. “I am not tired. And you'd be wise to stop assuming I was.”

Although if Hughie hadn't said something about it he probably would've put more thought into it. because… beyond just yawning he was feeling… uncharacteristically spacey, even though he really hadn't been awake long enough to excuse that. He hadn't been here for more than a week, right? Doesn't matter now. He was stubborn and would purposely not give it any more thought because Hughie was a cunt.

...that was until his eighth yawn of the day. It was like he was yawning all the time. He couldn't stop himself and at this point he wasn't even watching the movie let alone making his usual commentary. His mind was just focusing on fighting the yawns and the odd feeling in his mind. He couldn't remember a time he felt so unfocused like this. Even in his most fucked up state at the first Herogasm party he threw, he didnt feel this way.

It had gotten to the point that even Butcher had noticed once he had come back from his food run. However Butcher’s attention on him only fed into Ben’s theory that he’d been slipped something and they were just waiting for him to go down so they could do something to him. Maybe the food he’d brought just had more of whatever supe roofie was inside and they would use it to get a second dose in so they could drag him back to the Russians to be tortured again. Maybe they were working with the evil sons of bitches to turn him into this perfect weapon they wanted and this had all been a ruse to gain his trust.

“The fuck you lookin at?” He snapped out at Butcher but the man only raised his hands in surrender, not even putting up an argument which almost made him feel bad since he… had respect for the guy. He was a badass leader that did–albeit unintentionally–released him from his permanent cyro torture. Even if he was suspicious of him right now… He somewhat owed the man.

Also he was placating him with his favorite things. Drugs, trashy food, his own movies. Only things that would make his time better would be to not be spending it in this shithole hotel unless it was with a woman.

Or a few women.

Aged-like-wine women.

Maybe he was overreacting to this spacey-feeling bullshit.

He probably just needed to do a couple lines to get rid of the yawns and he would be good as new.

“Didn’t say nothin, mate. Calm yer pretty little ticker down.” Butcher responded, glancing down at his chest in warning, reminding them all what would happen if he didn’t get over whatever he was getting so defensive about. “Take some pills, take a nap fer all I care. Whatever keeps this buildin from shambles and our goals within sight.”

The nap line was really all he heard and it was definitely the worst thing to say. The bottle in his hand shattered between his fingers like it was nothing more than a breakaway and Hughie’s face drained of color in time with the beer that dripped down his arm.

Ben stood up his finger pointing at Butcher in a real warning, “Whatever the fuck you think you accomplished–whatever shit you roofied me with–it’s best you undo it right now before I turn your queer side piece into– into…” he couldnt even think of a clever threat. It's like his brain was completely malfunctioning leaving him to just angrily settle for a more embarrassingly simple correction. “Before I fucking kill him.”

The Brit raised his eyebrow as he had to take a second to actually will his mouth to hold back a sarcastic comment about the tongue trip, shockingly actually valuing their lives for once since he was so close to getting Homelander with Soldier Boy in his pocket. “A’right.. hold on now. I ain't got a clue whatcha accusing me of but we ‘aven't done it.” he closed his laptop softly, never taking his eyes off Ben the same way he would never take his eyes off a wild horse. “Why d’ya fink we roofied ya? Beyond the actual roofies yew requested, that is?”

His reaction made Ben second guess his theory again. He never second guessed himself like this. Even when he was wrong. And he sure as shit didn't share his feelings. Feelings were for pussies like Hughie. You didn't have feelings in war or at Vought. Yet…. he felt oddly compelled to answer Butcher’s question honestly and without more threats. He couldn't rationalize this strange compulsion other than maybe it was the way Butcher talked to him or managed to not be afraid of him. Or maybe it was because he was potentially slipped something–he still hadn’t ruled it out!

“I feel… wrong. My head ain't clear but everything I’ve taken should’ve worn off by now.” His hand dipped in the air like a physical indicator of his current lowering confidence and defenses which Butcher–in true Billy Butcher fashion–promptly took a shit on.

“Sounds like someone’s backed up. How boutcha go have a wank in the shower while we plug our ears and pretend we hadn’t noticed yer on edge?” Ben scoffed at the suggestion, his defenses rising back up. Butcher didn't get it. He didnt have blue balls, he had a fucked up head!

“No, you fuckin foreign– guy! ” this was really getting pathetic.. “I-it’s like… like–”

“Like PTSD…?” Hughie nervously piped up from where he was watching, still frozen to the couch. The other two men looked over at him and Ben opened his mouth to shut him down but hesitated. While he was actually kind of glad the little runt was taking him more seriously than Butcher had.. he also didn’t have an answer. He wanted to say no, I've seen shell shock, idiot. I don't have it! He wasn't really sure this time because he really didn't feel normal which was only making him feel more… antsy.

Picking up on his discomfort and hesitation, Butcher turned back towards Ben and watched him for a second, actually deciding to have a good look at him beyond his front of anger. He was tense but his body language was severely lacking its usual arrogant confidence. Like he wasn't comfortable within his own space right now. Once Butcher really looked, even his face, which normally lacked any expression beyond irritation, was practically screaming; I don’t know what’s going on! Someone fix it!

He’d seen that look more times than he could count in his life with his line of work but something about it reminded him more of a little kid than an adult in the middle of a PTSD episode. The look was similar to the one that made him call Hughie “kid” regardless of him being a full adult and insisting on it all the time.

He could see something in Ben right now that activated the part of his brain that had always taken care of Lenny as a kid.

The softer part of him that insisted he help the poor sod’s silent beg for help.

“Oi..kay, kid.” Butcher softened the gruffness in his tone and stood up from his seat at the table, snagging a bag of greasy fries and the frostie he had yet to dig into. “Let's get on then, yeah?” He slung an arm around Ben’s shoulder and led him back to the hotel bed in front of the TV he had long set up shop on.

Although still confused, Ben didn’t stop him. Instead following on autopilot while his mind still reeled with thought until his knees bumped against the mattress.

“No– I'm not tired. I told you I'm not tired–” had he told Butcher that or had he only yelled at Hughie today? “I’m not taking a damn nap–!” christ, he sounded like a whining child! Sleeping wouldn’t kill him for fuck’s sake! If the Russians hadn't figured that out after this many years surely they never would– unless they did. He didn't want to be tortured more– how long would it be before his mind broke for good? Before he died?

“No, y’ain’t so hush and stop yer worrying. Were jus’ gonna sit and eat the food I boughtcha before my money goes ta waste.” Ben looked surprised to have been effectively told to shut up and do what he's told but what he was most shocked about was the fact he didn't immediately get the desire to punch the shit out of him for having the audacity to do so. He just felt… odd. Like there were butterflies tying uncomfortable knots in his stomach. Like… it was almost nice to have a direction to go into so his thoughts would pause.

“Come on. Don’t make me wait. Fries ain’t neva last too long outside the frya.” Butcher pat his lower back, almost like he was a little kid getting encouraged forward and he listened. He crawled up onto the bed and sat in his spot looking at him with big eyes, clearly at a loss with the situation. He felt like he didn't know himself. This was a part of him he’d never experienced and he didn't know what to do, yet Butcher… seemed as at ease as ever. Like he’d dealt with a hundred men with nukes in their chests yelling at him.

Though he knew him longer than Ben did, even all Hughie could do was watch with the same odd mixture of shock and amazement when Butcher sat down beside the supe, tossed the fries between them, then changed the channel. No one had touched the remote since Ben had figured it out just enough to channel surf onto his own films. He had guarded that thing like a kid who found a new toy he didn't want to share.

“I.. was watching that.” Ben struggled to get out in a mumble that had never left his lips before.

“Won't spoil the ending for ya then, just say it ain't worth more than a prostitute that's got the clap.” Butcher casually informed him while he looked through the menu. The hotel, although shitty in every other aspect, actually had a Vought+ subscription, which begrudgingly had a pretty good selection. “Hughie, be a good lad for me an name a tolerable animation that aint Disney.”

“The Little Mer…maid..?” Hughie stuttered out, his brain automatically picking the last Disney movie he’d watched with him, too scared to really absorb the question.

“That’s Disney, Champ. Lookin fer somethin on Vought+”

“Oh. Right. Um..” He racked his brain for a moment trying not to mess this up and get his butt chewed by Soldier Boy later for choosing a movie he would hate sitting through. But the more he thought about everything the grumpy old man complained about when they were alone the less movies he could think of. In fact all he could think of was Ariel. Ariel.. Ariel, save me. Oh wait. “Isn't… isn't there a Disney princess section on Vought+ now?”

“Hn.. There is. Good thinkin.” Butcher cleared his throat a bit as he clicked on the movie then tossed the remote to reach for a fry, not paying attention to the way Ben was currently staring at him like he was an alien. “Redheaded broad it is.”

“Disney.. prin…cess? Like… the films for.. little brats..?” Ben slowly asked out, his voice not really feeling like his own with how insecure and… small it sounded. This all felt like a drug fueled dream. A really weird one, not one of the fun ones. Maybe he’d already fallen asleep and was back in some cyro-coma.

“Mmhm. Hughie likes em. Usually he leans more towards that lil boffin Belle over the glorified sushi princess but–”

“I like Ariel!” Hughie instantly defended but his cheeks went pink as he realized he meant to defend himself in a different way. Like one that might keep his reputation intact or keep himself from being relentlessly bullied by resident tough man, Soldier Boy. “I-I mean–” He gave Butcher an embarrassed, desperate look as he hissed out between his teeth a clear plea. “Butcher..! Come on..!”

Ben’s head swiveled between Hughie and Butcher feeling like he was missing out on something. He felt like that a lot recently since the world was so much different than it was back when he was last in it but this felt like he was out of the loop on something he should know.

“Why… why does Hughie like–” Before he could even finish his question, Butcher had slipped an ice cream dipped fry in his mouth, surprising him further. His reaction time was lacking, he hadn't even seen the man’s hand until it was too late. His senses were dulled. Could only imagine the foul shit his father would say if he saw him now.

“Film’s startin, kid, eat yer food.” Butcher spooned a mouthful of frostie into his own mouth with the grace expected of a grown man whose shirt was stained as much as it was and Ben watched him as he slowly followed instructions and chewed what had been given to him. His gaze flicked over to Hughie still trying to figure out what was going on but all Hughie was telling him was that he’d rather be swallowed alive by the couch than make eye contact with him.

The sound of water splashing alongside loud music on the tv stole his attention away from his less than stellar detective work and he watched for a few seconds as sailors began to sing. His brows furrowed and he turned to Butcher to protest and ask again about why the hell grown men would watch cartoons like this but the moment his mouth opened he was spoon fed some frostie. And while it was more careful than how the Brit had fed himself the action was aggravating. Ben looked at the Brit with an unhappy glare that probably looked more harmless than his usual happy expression if the rest of him looked as pathetic as he felt. But when he was given no attention from it he finally turned away to begrudgingly watch the stupid movie they insisted on making him watch instead of dealing with his problems.

Twenty minutes was all it took for Ben to be fully enraptured, his thought process having melted away with the colorful fish on the screen without his knowledge. Butcher had kept a casual eye on him after he’d realized he was dropping, mildly worried that the loose cannon might start to get anxious again if he broke out of his distraction. It was a little rockier at the start of the movie when he was still incredibly uneasy with the situation and unhappy with having been fed twice without permission; however Butcher was stupid and confident. An that’s what got ‘im this far in life, right?

So sue him if he let himself feel a bit smug as Ben obliviously settled into this new headspace, watching the movie as if it were the most interesting thing he’d ever witnessed. The only time he occasionally turned away from the screen was for the brief moment it would take to be spoon fed another bite being offered. Nothin beat the tried and true combination of an age regression classic an comfort food t’keep someone perfectly satiated in a headspace, eh?

Kid would barely wait to swallow before pointing at the screen to yell something about it because he was trying so hard to listen after having been told “ta swallow ‘is food ‘fore speakin,” but still NEEDED to give his commentary on everything since at his core he was still Ben. He might be acting younger but he was still who he was for better or for worse. And that included movie commentary.

Ben: “That crab is such an ass-munch! I mean look at him! He’s practically makin out with King Trident’s butt.”

Butcher: “His name’s Sebastian, you’ll like him more later on, bud.”

Ben: “I don’t like commies.”

Butcher: “Now why’dja go an call the poor ol bastard that?”

Ben: “He’s red.”

Butcher: “That don’t mean… he’s a crab, mate.”

Ben: “And? Crabs can be commies.”

Hughie: “That’s weirdly the most inclusive thing I’ve heard you say.”

—

Ben: “Hell yeah King Trident!”

Hughie: “You can't cheer for him, he just destroyed his daughter’s most prized collection!”

Ben: “Uh yeah. She didn't do what he said so she earned it. And she was probably kissin on that statue like a weirdo. Anyway he looked cool doing it.”

Butcher: “An how’dja know she was doin that?”

Ben: “I dunno.”

Hughie: “Ariel wouldn't kiss a statue!”

Ben: “Shut up, Hughie, you don't know that!”

Hughie: “Yes, I do! I’ve watched this movie more than you!”

Butcher: “Boys.”

Hughie: “Sorry..”

Ben: “Well I’m not sorry.”

Once the junk food was gone, Ben started his yawns again but Butcher counted himself lucky that his anxiety didn't notice them this time since that was the only thing he could guess set him off earlier. That or he just took too much while he was gone and got paranoid. Supe was a nutcase anyhow and Butcher probably trusted him even less than Hughie did.

Near the end of the movie though was when the brick of a man made himself comfortable against Butcher’s side and without making it a big deal, the infamous bloke wrapped his arm around his shoulder to pull him in tight. He was softer than he looked. Maybe that level of comfort he was providing was why Ben’s aggressive commentary died away before he could give a final scathing review and instead slipped asleep the moment the next movie started. But Ben would certainly deny that to anyone that brought it up. Including his own thoughts. He’d rather blame those supe-special roofies he never confirmed.

[degenerateworm]

Could I please request either Giant Jonathan or boogeyman Illuso (jjba)

Thank you and have a wonderful day!

THEEEE Spacey Cowboy?? Of course I will write for you, my friend! There isn't enough Yandere Johnathan content in the world...

---

For this imagine, I am going to make Johnathan more like a Goliath from D&D; an inhumanly tall and strong humanoid, but still not as tall as, let's say, a whole mountain.

But he might as well be, standing next to you!

I also headcanon him to be very in tune with nature, almost like a strange forest druid, due to his powers of hamon. He makes flowers grow, how much more forest spirit can he get?

When you had ventured out in the early autumn afternoon to collect the first of the berries this season, you never expected to get lost. How could you, when your village was just a hop, skip and a jump away from the forest?

The trees only grew more dense and the foliage more thick, until you stumbled out into a clearing. In the middle of the sunlit grass lay a leaf covered stone, and, in your exhaustion, you decided to sit down for a rest.

It wasn't your intention to wake a sleeping giant, even less so to sit on him while he slept..!

When the rock beneath you suddenly starts to move, you make haste to scramble off of it, but go rigid when a large, strong grip holds your waist.

You can only watch as the leaves fall from tan skin, and an imposing, impossibly muscled figure holds you close to itself, its face blocking the sun as wild locks of blue hair cascade down their back and neck.

Your tiny form trembles with fear, dreading the moment the beast opens its mouth and eats you...

"Danny, I told you not to wake me up like that- Oh..!"

As your eyes adjust to the face in front of you, a pair of the most beautiful deep blue eyes gaze down at you, clear from any ill intent, instead filled with such innocent curiosity.

"You aren't... Danny..."

The giant suddenly blushes, a red hue covering his face as he lifts you off of his lap and sets you down on the grass, handling you like a porcelain doll.

"M-my most sincere apologies..! I thought you were my dog..!"

As the sunlight falls upon the massive man, he can only fuss over you like you were a child, brushing off leaves from your clothes while his surprisingly eloquent voice fills the silence.

"I haven't seen someone this deep in the woods for a long while. Are you lost? Do you need me to help you back to the nearby village- wait, you aren't injured, are you..?!"

You push away his giant yet gentle hands, and stand on your own two shaky feet.

"I'm fine. Just... A mistake, is all."

The giant frowns at you, his eyes narrowing for a second, before he sighs and his face relaxes.

"Again, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have grabbed you like that. I'm..."

He brushes the rest of the leaves off of himself, revealing a blue shirt that matches his hair and eyes as he stands.

"Johnathan. My friends call me JoJo."

---

Ever since your admittedly awkward meeting in the forest, you and Johnathan had gotten along swimmingly. For the rest of the season he helped you pick berries, showing you the best spots in the forest, and even lifting you up to pick fruit that hang too high for you to reach.

Johnathan had even let you meet Danny, a dog almost as big as himself, but just as friendly. Suffice to say, you had come home covered in slobber that day.

You spent a lot of time with the gentle giant, easily falling for his charm and friendliness. Trusting Johnathan was easy, when he was so openly helpful!

But while you consider him a good friend, he struggles with his feelings for you. Johnathan had thought you a normal villager at first, just lost in the woods, another soul he felt he had to guide.

But now, after spending so much time with you, his feelings have blossomed like a beautiful flower.

Every minute in your presence is something to look forward to. Your jokes, your sarcasm, your wit... It's all something he adores about hanging out with you.

The way you thank him for his help, gush about how strong he is, makes him so flustered you wouldn't believe! Johnathan has to hide his face when you compliment him, otherwise you'll end up teasing him for how red his face is.

The giant has fallen head over heels, and he doesn't know what to do in the slightest about it.

It doesn't help that when he helps you home, he catches sight of some of the men in your village, and his mind begins to spin.

What if they didn't treat you as well as you should be treated..? What if they tried to come on to you, what then..? What if they even tried to hurt you..?!

These thoughts fill Johnathan's mind with a possessive side that he didn't know existed, but thinks is entirely natural. If he feels like he has to protect you, it's just his love for you!

So if you find him keeping you a little closer when he walks you back to the village, if he pulls you against him when he spots other men, please don't think he's strange!

He's protecting you from unwanted suitors, from people who may hurt you! You don't mind that, right?

---

Ugh, I went a bit out of control with this one, but I am really happy to get a monster request! I hope you enjoyed, my friend, and you have a wonderful day too!

[thegigilwriter]

11 | “Danger & Star, Rooster & Angel” — Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Female Mitchell OC

Summary. 26-year-old Lucy Asa Mitchell did not know what was in store for her when she first bumped into Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw. After an instant mutual connection followed by a sweet whirlwind romance that swept both their feet, Lucy found herself being immersed deeper into Bradley’s world of the Navy, F-14s, and deployments. What she didn’t expect was finding was the answer to an elusive part of her past — the identity of her long-lost father.

Chapter Summary. After confirmation through her mother’s old letters and their initial meeting at the Hard Deck in Chapter 10 , Lucy is sure that Pete “Maverick” Mitchell is indeed her father. In this chapter, Lucy grapples with this revelation while preparing to meet him once again at Penny’s for dinner with Bradley. She has so many questions. How did they meet? What happened? Why did he leave? More importantly… how will this affect her blossoming relationship with Bradley?

Masterlist

Keywords/Warnings: Romance, fluff, possible inaccuracies of navy deployments

11 | Dinner at Penny’s 🥟

August 27, 2023

Dear Star,

I am writing to you from a cramped bunk bed in the middle of the night in a docked carrier. We have just settled in Yokusaka. I still hate that we had to move away from Atsugi. I donʼt like being far from you. Iʼll be sure to visit you this weekend on my off. Today, I had the little spring rolls that you first made me at your apartment. They were being sold in this little Filipino store at a street corner. It was good, but to be honest... yours was a whole lot better. What do you put in there? I miss you, Star. I canʼt wait to see you this weekend. I just wanna lay in your arms and sleep all day...

How do you react to that? How do you react to the revelation of the identity of your long-lost father? Whose every indication in the course of your childhood was erased? Ever since that night at the Hard Deck, Lucy began to wrack her memory for any instance that her mother, Tala, ever brought up her mysterious father. All those little conversations in the kitchen or late nights in her bedroom. Whenever, Lucy had tried to ask about her about Maverick, she would always give her this look— with those downcast eyes that glistened slightly when it hit the light the right way. Her mother would merely say: ‘thereʼs work to be done,ʼ and cup her cheek before leaving to get her hands busy again. Lucy has always understood that bringing up her father dredged up his painful memory — but she didnʼt understand until two years ago when she first read the letters, the extent of their love, ergo the sadness that it inevitably entailed. But what happened between them? It didnʼt seem that her mother harbored a certain disdain towards him. She was unreadable on the matter of Maverick.

So here Lucy was now, the afternoon before Pennyʼs dinner, rolling lumpia on the living room table with Bradley and Downtown Abbey once again on the screen. Lucy followed the same recipe she has always used — the one her mother used, the one belonged to her grandmother. The one that Maverick had all those years ago in in her small apartment when she lived in Japan. If she was honest with herself, Lucy didnʼt know how to feel. In her mind, she knows that she should dislike him. With everything that her mother has been through — as an immigrant and a lone provider for two children—she should reject the father that turned his back on her and her brother. But in her heart, she so yearned to know him.

“Angel?ˮ She felt Bradley kiss the space beneath her ear. “You seem spacey, you alright?ˮ

Lucy smiled at the sight of him. He was clad in an old Navy shirt and gray sweatpants, with a tousled head of locks. He had on these plastic gloves with meat filling in their crevices.

“Iʼm okay,ˮ she reassured him. “Just a little nervous

“Well donʼt be,ˮ He told her. “Penny already likes you alot, you and Mav have some good common ground, and Ameliaʼs really sweet. Plus... they are really gonna love this...ˮ

Lucy stared at the pile of completed spring rolls, and smiled hopefully.

Bradley wasnʼt too sure why Lucy was so exasperated about this dinner. Of course, a certain level of nervousness is assumed when meeting your significant otherʼs family for the first time, but surely not at the level Lucy was at. He watched silently as she carefully decided between three outfits— in his eyes, she looked beautiful in all of them. He especially liked how her bell bottom jeans complemented... her body. She was so occupied with her decision, that she absentmindedly stepped into the hallway in a lacy wired bra and matching white underwear with a small rose embroidered at the front hem. She was looking at two hangers of dresses, completely unaware of Bradleyʼs grazing eyes.

“Um... Angel?ˮ He said calmly. Face red hot and throat dry. Seeing her in a bikini was one thing, but seeing her in her intimates was another.

“Which one do you think looks better?ˮ She asked him, her head cocking to the side at his flustered expression. “Bradley?ˮ

At that moment, only then did Lucy realize as she looked down on herself. She blushed, using the dresses on the hangers to conceal herself.

“Well...ˮ she blushed, laughing. “Showʼs over!ˮ

Bradley wasnʼt used to this. He normally wasnʼt so flustered by half-naked women. He felt like he was in college — experiencing his first sexual encounter. Itʼs been so long that he had been with someone seriously, that he forgot what it was like before the sex. The romance and intimacy that usually ensued before the physical act. Bradley was once more reminded of his age — by the years that he had just kept it ‘casualʼ — that is until he met Lucy. On that note, Lucy finally reappeared from her room — in a olive-colored blouse, with clunky heels, hair half-up, and donned with her dark wash bell-bottom jeans. Bradley grinned.

Bradley held Lucyʼs hand all the way to Pennyʼs house, drawing circles on the back of her hand soothingly. She kissed his hand affectionately.

“Hey,ˮ Lucy said to him, her eyes kept on the road ahead of them. “Can I ask you something?ˮ

“Of course you can, Angel.ˮ

“Does it bother you that I donʼt have a pet name for you?ˮ She asked him.

“I donʼt mind it all,ˮ Bradley replied. “Why do you ask?ˮ

“I know that there are some guys that donʼt care for it at all, so I was just asking...ˮ

“Well if you have one in mind... Iʼd love to hear it,ˮ he took his eyes briefly from the road to look into hers.

“Well I have two in mind,ˮ Lucy said.

“Fire away.ˮ

“I really like your callsign... so ‘Roo.’ ʼˮ

“I like that too,ˮ Bradley smiled. “And the other?ˮ

“Daddy,ˮ Lucy replied nonchalantly.

Bradley nearly swerved off of the road and Lucy quickly checked on the lumpia in the backseat before laughing breathlessly.

“Jesus!ˮ Lucy chuckled. “I was only kidding, Bradley!ˮ

But deep inside, Bradley wished she wasnʼt. He swears that this girl was gonna put him in an early grave.

Penny welcomed Lucy with a hug the moment she stepped on the threshold of her house. Bradley standing was beside her with a tray of spring rolls; and Maverick and Amelia trailed behind Penny. Introductions with Amelia were made before the party entered the home. Lucy, with her fondness for design, looked around and appreciated the subtle naval and sailor themes along with the cream minimalist color palette that just brought space and light into the room. It was only 6 in the evening, and the setting sun glowed beautifully as it shone through the glass door, windows, kitchen and dining room.

They all sat together on a round, dining room table with Bradley and Lucy sitting side by side. Penny and Maverick were seated in a similar fashion, with Amelia between the two pairs. Penny and Amelia served their homemade fettuccine pasta carbonara and Pete helped with the chicken roast. A pitcher of ice tea sat in the center, and Lucy placed her spring rolls in their aluminum pan beside it. Pete stared for a considerable amount of time at the rolls — contemplating where he had seen them before. The way they were neatly folded and their savory scent were all too familiar... until he finally took a glimpse of the face across from him. It was if he was back in that little apartment 26 years ago cramped on a dining room table — looking at what was the most uniquely beautiful face he had ever seen.

“Gosh Lucy!ˮ Penny sighed. “That smells so good!ˮ

“What is that?ˮ Amelia asked quietly, intrigued.

“Itʼs lumpia,ˮ Pete answered suddenly eyes still fixated on the rolls. Lucy smiled at him, as the rest looked at him with a mildly surprised expression.

“I-I uh,ˮ Pete said shyly and then averted himself to Lucy. “Iʼve had them before. Tala made them for me once and so did her mom when I had dinner with her family.ˮ

“Thatʼs very nice of them,ˮ Penny remarked as she began serving plates of pasta and as Bradley got to work on slicing the roast chicken. “What were thet like, Lucy?ˮ

“Yeah,ˮ Lucy smiled fondly at her memory. “My family likes meeting new people. This is my grandmother’s lumpia recipe actually — in my family it’s traditionally served when meeting new people as a token of friendship.ˮ

“I like that,ˮ Amelia remarked as she began piling his plate with them. “They look like little welcome gifts.ˮ

“Hey, leave some for me,ˮ Bradley said to her.

“Youʼve had enough,ˮ Lucy laughed. “Leave some for Penny and Mav.ˮ

“I had to put them in the serving platter as fast as I could before he could eat them all,ˮ Lucy told them.

“I wrapped half of them!ˮ Bradley argued.

“And you nearly ate all that half!ˮ Lucy chuckled.

“Okay, okay,ˮ Bradley conceded as he held her hand.

“Never saw Bradley back down that fast,ˮ Penny grinned as her eyes quickly glanced at their conjoined hands. “So how did you two meet?ˮ

Bradley recollected the story of how they met at the docks of Umi, spent the day together with Sam and Phoenix, and their sunset stroll down the carnival pier. During all that, Lucy carefully gauged Pete’s reaction to the spring rolls. Did she add too much salt? Was the wrap to filling ratio just right? More importantly, was it just as he had remembered?

“What was that you told me, Angel?ˮ Bradley asked her. “ ‘If someone must have me, he must earn meʼ?ˮ

Lucy quickly returned to the conversation at hand.

“I thought that he was looking for something casual,ˮ Lucy told Penny. “And I just wanted to make my intentions clear.ˮ

“And when I dropped you off at your apartment, I asked you out and you still didnʼt believe me!ˮ Bradley reminisced.

“I still thought you were trying to get into bed with me!ˮ Lucy said. “You were pulling out all the stops!ˮ

“Looks like you damped your success rate with her,ˮ Amelia snorted.

“So what did made you go on that first date, Lucy?ˮ Penny asked her.

A beat.

Lucy shook her head, smiling at the memory of her and Bradley in front of her apartment gate, in the light of the setting Californian sun playing like a movie scene in her head — as if it was that long ago. They locked eyes.

“I told him that I only dated to marry — it was the last thing I could possibly say. He was very convincing....ˮ Lucy chuckled. “And what did you say back?ˮ

Bradley smirked.

“Is that suppose to scare me?ˮ

Penny turned to her daughter, who was silently engrossed with the entire ordeal.

“Amelia Benjamin,ˮ Penny told her quite firmly. “That is exactly how I want you to respond when boys are gonna ask you out in the near future, okay?ˮ

“Mom!ˮ Amelia gasped as Bradley and Lucy broke into fits of chuckles and giggles, amused by mother and daughter.

“I am just saying!ˮ Penny insisted exasperatedly. “If I done that when I was younger...it would have saved me a whole lotta time and heartbreak. So kudos to you, Lucy. Your mother taught you well.ˮ

“Well youʼre quiet Mav,ˮ Bradley noticed as he took a sip from his iced tea. “Those spring rolls that good?ˮ

“Theyʼre just as I remember them to be,ˮ Pete smiled, putting to bed Lucyʼs concerns. “Your grandmother... Mayumi— is she well?ˮ

“She has mild dementia now,ˮ Lucy replied, a little taken with how quickly he remembered her grandmotherʼs name. “Youʼll still enjoy your conversations with her — but the minute next, sheʼs doing something uninhibited.ˮ

“Oh?ˮ Pete remarked.

“Last year,ˮ Lucy said. “One of my cousins brought home her boyfriend and he was Japanese. You see, my grandmother lived through World War Two as a kid during the Japanese occupation. God — the moment she saw him, she got this shotgun that she kept under her bed (that we didnʼt know about) and chased him out of the house!ˮ

“Goodness!ˮ Penny gasped amusedly. “Is he okay?ˮ

“Yes, but he never came back.ˮ Lucy replied as Bradley barked a laughed.

“I remember Mayumi was always a little eccentric,ˮ Pete said. “But she was kind. Your grandfather was the scary one.ˮ

“I never really met him,ˮ Lucy told him. “He died of a heart attack when I was really young.ˮ

“Iʼm sorry to hear that,ˮ Pete replied. “...He was quite the gentlemen, and he only ever spoke when he needed to. I remember... that he was known for being a brilliant doctor — and he also was the only one at the island at the time.ˮ

“Really,ˮ Lucy remarked. “I didnʼt know that. My mom only really shares so much and my uncles never really talks about him.ˮ

“Your family is one of the close-knitted Iʼve seen, Lucy, but Iʼve learned that a lot of them liked to keep to themselves. Your grandfather was hard on all his children,ˮ Pete told her. “And although I saw that he always had a soft spot for Tala, I think he loved them all very much.ˮ

“Thank you for sharing that,ˮ Lucy smiled, keeping her spirits up. “I canʼt believe Iʼve learned more about my family from someone else than Iʼve had from them...ˮ

“Angel,ˮ Bradley drew circles at the back of her palm. “You know you can talk to me about your family, right?ˮ

“Of course I do,ˮ Lucy replied. “And I would love for you to meet them someday.ˮ

“Maybe even Mav can come along,ˮ Bradley suggested.

“How did you get to know Lucyʼs family so well, babe?ˮ Penny asked him.

“After my deployment at Atsugi, I took some downtime in the Philippines with Tala, some other nurses, and some other navy men too. ˮ Pete replied and then turned to Lucy. “Your mother, I believe, was working to get some experience in Japan before she planned to move here — and so she did, it seems. I spent some months in Palawan and I got to know your family there quite well — your six uncles, your grandfather, and your grandmother.”

“How did you meet her— my mom?ˮ Lucy spoke carefully.

“Well...ˮ Pete paused to remember — everything was coming back to him now. Her long raven hair, her tempting eyes, her singing lips and the smell of sweet white flowers. “I met her at Atsugi in this... this local bar over there and she was doing karaoke with some of her other nurse friends...ˮ

Pete could still recall even the faintest details of their first encounter. Swirls of smoke the air, pretty women in pretty clothes, Japanese pop music blared from the karaoke machine. Tala had her hair in an elegant low bun with strands that framed her face. She had on this, gorgeous silky dress that hugged her body just the right way and she was balancing both a bottle and smoke with an extender with one hand as she held the mike so naturally to her lips with the other. When she sang, people watched not only because she sounded so beautiful, but because she looked so effortless. Pete could even still remember their first conversation:

“Mind if I join you, gorgeous?ˮ

“That depends, can you sing?ˮ

“Canʼt I just listen?ˮ

“Absolutely not.ˮ

“So should I just humiliate myself for you, then?ˮ

“Just how willing are you to join me, sailor?ˮ

“...Does she still sing, your mother?ˮ Pete asked her — her exact replica.

“Y-Yeah, sometimes.ˮ Lucy answered quickly, before Penny had averted the conversation to Lucyʼs job as a marine biologist.

Pete stared at her the entire time as she animatedly discussed her job with Penny and Amelia, who also happened to be an aspiring marine biologist. Dinner at Pennyʼs was in full swing. Bradley brought up Ameliaʼs Walstead bowl on the desk in her room and well as Pennyʼs new plans of starting a garden — both of which Lucy knew a thing about. Though Lucy looked much like her mother, Pete observed that she didnʼt quite inherent her particularity for things or her chilly facade. Lucy was warm and made everyone she met feel like theyʼve known each other for quite a while. She wasnʼt quite like her. After nearly spending three hours just talking over dinner, it was now 9 PM and while Amelia lead Lucy to her room to show her Walstead bowl, Bradley, Mav, and Penny started cleaning.

“Hey Bradley,ˮ Penny told him briefly. “Iʼm gonna borrow your girlfriend for a bit before you leave. I want her opinion on that garden Iʼm starting.ˮ

“Sure,ˮ Bradley chuckled as he stood beside Pete, who was drying dishes as soon as Bradley rinsed them.

“I donʼt know how you pulled this one Bradley, but you better not screw up.ˮ Pete teased.

“God I really hope I donʼt Mav,ˮ Bradley sighed. “I really got lucky with her.ˮ

“As long as you remember that — especially when youʼre fighting,ˮ Pete smiled.

A beat.

“Hey Mav?ˮ Bradley drawled. “Can I ask you a question?ˮ

“Yeah.ˮ

“Be honest with me, okay? I promise I wonʼt tell Penny — but... Was Lucyʼs mom... An old flame of yours?ˮ

Pete placed a dish down on the rack and paused.

“Itʼs just that... the way you talked tonight about her and how you look at Lucy — just made me think... that you guys had something real special.ˮ

“Whenʼd you get all so smart?ˮ Pete grinned playfully.

“Cʼmon Mav...ˮ

A pause.

“I spent six months in Atsugi,ˮ Pete sighed. “And for four of them, I did date Tala... As soon as I wrapped up my deployment I went back to the Philippines with her for some months.ˮ

“What happened?ˮ Bradley whispered.

“We didnʼt end on bad terms, we... just had two different paths.ˮ

“Mav,ˮ Bradley huffed impatiently. “I know from my mom that you werenʼt the type to be hung over one girl when you broke hearts left and right.ˮ

“When I met Tala,ˮ Pete finally conceded and talked in a low voice. “Gooseʼs death was still over my head...ˮ

Bradley deflated slightly.

“I drank every night, I didnʼt have the best appetite, and I had... bad dreams. During that time, I felt like I didnʼt belong in the box anymore... so I wanted to hang it up. Tala healed me... She appreciated my ambition and saw the things I could still do — far before Iʼve realized that I can do them. She is… one of the reasons Iʼm still a pilot and why I still choose to be. Had she not insisted that I shouldnʼt stay with her, I wouldnʼt have been here with you.ˮ

“She mustʼve have been real stubborn if youʼre here,ˮ Bradley finally replied after a moment.

“Oh you have no idea,ˮ Pete laughed. “And you know what?ˮ

“What?ˮ

“I have a feeling Lucyʼs just the same,ˮ he grinned.

“Donʼt I already know?ˮ Bradley remarked. “Itʼs one of the things I fell for.ˮ

“Bradley Bradshaw, in love.ˮ Pete said aloud. “Now Iʼm really getting sentimental...ˮ

“And old...ˮ Bradley guffawed. “I thought you were gonna cry over that spring roll.ˮ

Pete smacked him over the head with the dish towel.

After bidding their goodbyes, Bradley drove himself and Lucy to her apartment. He turned off the ignition in front of her gate and held her hand.

“See?ˮ Bradley grinned. “You had nothing to worry about...ˮ

“Iʼm just so happy, Bradley...ˮ Lucy mirrored his smile. “Theyʼre wonderful people. Thank you for this...ˮ

Bradley cupped her cheek and pulled his lips against hers gently. She ran her hair through his honeyed locks, relishing the feeling, and when they could no longer breathe they pulled apart with pink-tinged faces. Lucy checked his dashboard. It was nearly midnight.

“Hey...ˮ she sighed. “Why donʼt you stay the night? You had a couple of beers with Mav, and I donʼt want you driving this late...ˮ

A wide, goofy grin stretched Bradleyʼs lips even further.

“Unless you—“

“Angel stop,ˮ he told her. “Iʼm just glad...ˮ

“Donʼt get any ideas, Lieutenant Bradshaw.ˮ

“Iʼm not!ˮ He insisted. “Iʼm just happy that youʼre comfortable enough to let me stay...ˮ

“Why wouldnʼt I be?ˮ Lucy crinkled her nose. “I only date gentlemen. As mischievous as they can be...ˮ

“Oh?ˮ Bradley smirked. “Who are these other gentlemen? I must meet them...ˮ

“Do you want to come in, or not?ˮ

Lucy waited tucked under the covers of her bed with a book, clad in some old gym shorts and a baggy sports shirt from a swim meet back in her teens. It was faded and distressed from over the years, but it was the most comfortable thing she owned. Her mind then drifted back to those years... to the rebellious, fiery, feminist, young girl she had been. Oh how she would chastise her older self over Bradley — she would have said that she had a promising career in something they loved and that she shouldn’t let any man get in her way. Lucy would bet she would shut up the minute she saw what she was seeing — the fine view of Bradley Bradshaw emerging from the steam of her bathroom, shirtless and wearing a pair of fresh boxers he had packed in a duffel bag at the back of his Bronco. Her cheeks burned pink at his broad, tanned chest and his lean stomach. He dried his moist locks in one of her cream-colored towels and grinned handsomely at the sight of her.

“Angel,ˮ Bradley spoke to her quietly, as he sat beside her on her mattress. “Are you sure this is okay? I can always sleep on the couch...ˮ

“I donʼt want you to sleep on the couch,ˮ she replied shyly, reaching for his big hand. “I want you to hold me, tonight.ˮ

Bradley kissed her fingers affectionately, heart warming at her loving gaze and tender touch.

“Okay,ˮ he smiled. “But I donʼt want you to feel like we have to do anything, alright?ˮ

Lucy nodded pulling the covers away on her right for him to tuck into. Bradley chuckled at her enthusiasm, positioning himself comfortably right beside her and opening an arm for her to tuck into. He propped the back of his head on his hand and used the other to embrace her. Lucy then turned off the bright lamp on her nightstand and turned on a little box-shaped nightlight on her beside table. It emitted a pale blue light, and because of the shape of its container, mimicked the fascinating scintillations of an underwater experience. When she finally settled into his embrace, Bradley pecked her forehead and she giggled.

“That is so cool,ˮ Bradley remarked at the light as he looked above her ceiling. “Whereʼd you get it?ˮ

“Itʼs a gift,ˮ Lucy replied, staring at the lights. “... Ford gave it to me.ˮ

“Heʼs a thoughtful guy,ˮ he hummed.

“When I was little,ˮ she smiled. “I wanted to be a mermaid. If you saw my side of the room, it was basically ocean-mania.ˮ

Bradley chuckled.

“Funnily enough,ˮ Lucy shared. “One of the options I kept open aside from marine biology was the Navy.ˮ

“Really?ˮ He quirked a brow.

“I liked the idea of traveling on the sea, and I admit... I thought I would meet some good-looking men.ˮ

“You would join the Navy for that?ˮ Bradley laughed.

“Iʼve seen your friends,ˮ Lucy retorted. “And youʼre a shining example of that.ˮ

“You find them attractive?ˮ

“I simply think that theyʼre good-looking,ˮ she hummed as she traced the lines across the expanse of his chest and the indents of his scars on his face. “You are the one I find attractive, and Iʼm truly fortunate...ˮ

“Youʼre lucky?ˮ Bradley smirked. “Iʼm the one with the young, gorgeous girlfriend. You got the old-timer...ˮ

“Well... I just happen to love vintage...ˮ Lucy replied impishly as Bradley chuckled.

They laid in silence, and it eventually lulled Lucy to sleep. Bradley could tell the exact moment when her body went limp and when each breath began to even with the rise and fall of her chest. He finally rested his head against her pillow. Her sheets and pillowcases were perfumed in a warm, honey, vanilla fragrance. He smiled at how her lips were opened partly, the way her eyelashes nearly grazed her cheeks, and how her hair cascaded down her chest. Her cold arms brought contrast to his warm embrace and soft sighs were slowly rocking him into his own slumber.

“Angel,ˮ he whispered softly, pressing a kiss on each of her moles — one at the edge of her lip and the other at the corner of her eye. “I love you...ˮ

Looks like dinner at Penny’s was a success! Lucy knowing who her real dad is at this point or her life must be pretty awkward… How do you think Pete will find out that Lucy is his daughter after all this time? Let’s keep this story going! Lots of fluff at 12 | Shark Week!

[jordosprout]

Tumbling Walls

Tech X GN!Reader

Word Count: 3,964

Warnings: Nightmares, Trauma comfort, Anxiety attack, Mentions of childhood SA, Accidental SH, Tech and Reader are awkward, No established relationship, Barely any actual romance (tell me if there is anything I missed! I am very new to Tumblr :,) this is a pretty self-indulgent fic as I looked for one similar but couldn't find anything. I might make a follow up for it later on. I am open to taking writing prompts for the Bad Batch!!

Let's begin, shall we?

It felt like you couldn’t have woken up any faster, sitting up as soon as you did. Your forehead was covered in cold sweat. Your heavy breaths echoed throughout the bunks as your eyes darted around the quiet bunks, finally remembering where you were. A shaky exhale came from your lips as you crashed back into your pillow. You might as well not have slept at all you were so tired.

Your alarm comedically went off a minute later. You laughed annoyedly to yourself with your forearm over your eyes. The rest of the batch was (thankfully) probably already awake. That was typically the case. They all knew of your usual late nights and knew not to wake you unless there was an emergency, Wrecker being the one to find out the hard way.

You mentally prepared yourself for your day as you sat at the edge of your bunk, before begrudgingly jumping down. You were dressed minutes later before you went to the door to the barracks, swooshing it open; Crosshair was the first to greet you.

“You look like shit.”

You rubbed one of your eyes, even though you knew it would just make the bags underneath them worse. Crosshair’s remarks were the last thing you wanted to hear right now. You could only bring yourself to flip him off as you poured yourself a cup of now cold caff.

—

You couldn’t seem to catch a break at all today. Every little thing felt like weights being added to your shoulders. Crosshair’s comments were hitting closer to home and you weren’t able to respond with your usual bite. Wrecker’s booming voice felt like it raddled your skull more than usual. His energetic and rough nature along with that did not pair well with your high-strung mood. Omega’s questions were getting to be headache-inducing, and while usually you would answer every single one without hesitation you found yourself getting frustrated. You hate getting annoyed with her. She has every reason to have the questions she does about the universe. But today you wish she would just ask Tech instead.

You fidgeted in your seat with anything you could find. First, it was picking and scratching at your hands, then biting your nails, your body acted on its own as you found yourself lost in your thoughts. 

You were pushed out of your spacey state when an excited Omega jumped on the back of the co-pilot seat, almost knocking you off. Shaking you up as a result.

“KRIFF- Omega can you not do that? You scared me.” you rubbed one of your eyes with your palm before turning to her. She was a bit taken aback, not used to you being snippy. But she didn’t let your roughness get to her like hers did to you.

“Oh- sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you! I just wanted to let you know that Wrecker, Crosshair, Hunter, and I were about to head off.”

You cocked your head at this. You weren’t aware of any missions for today and Hunter usually briefed the Batch on all of the day's plans.

“What do you mean by head off? Do you lot even know where you’re going? We haven’t exactly been on this planet before.”

She smiled excitedly at that, the idea of exploring making her almost bounce off the walls.

“We’re just running low on supplies. Hunter says there should be a town where we can restock but we probably won’t be back tonight.”

You simply nodded in response. Your throat felt too tight to talk today. Not a rare occurrence for you, there have been times when you wouldn’t say a word for hours. And that’s exactly what it was like today, the only difference being that it wasn’t clear to everyone else as to why like it usually was. 

It’s not that you were always quiet; sometimes words just didn’t seem to be able to form themselves. Or that they were stuck in a lump deep inside your throat. But when your stress levels were low you always spoke what was on your mind. 

Once Omega figured you had nothing to add she bounced off the ship to the others. You saw Hunter look up to you before saying something to Tech. He probably noticed your off-attitude, especially since you're rarely tense to this extent, seemingly for no reason. All you caught before they left was a responsive nod from Tech and a wave from Wrecker, who had a giddy Omega on his shoulders. 

_

“Tech, keep a close eye on em’ yeah? They seem off today.” 

Tech hummed at his brother, adjusting his goggles slightly before nodding and offering a response,

“I have noticed. I have it covered here.”

“Alright, good luck. We won't be back until sundown tomorrow,” Hunter told Tech with a sigh dreading the long trip.

Wrecker and Omega gave you a wave from outside before they all left, leaving Tech and you behind.

_

Since you joined the batch, Tech and you would usually stay at the ship. That way he’d have backup if needed. Even if all that meant was listening to all the facts he had accumulated.

Once everyone left Tech turned around and motioned for you to come over. Groaning as you stood up from your spot. But, obliging nonetheless. You leaned on the entryway of the Marauder before questioning his request, “Ya need somethin’ Tech?”

He nodded, goggles catching the reflection of the sun “Actually, I was thinking about your request from a few rotations ago. About teaching you basic ship repairs. It looks like it could use some work. And it would be best to teach you now, seeing as there will be no distractions,” he told you matter-of-factly. It was honestly quite surprising he took you up on your request seeing how protective he was of ‘his ship’. “And you’ve been inside all day now. That will not do your current mental state any good.”

“What are you talking about? I’m fine, Tech.”

He simply hummed at you, ignoring your obvious lie of a response for the most part. “The exterior hull took some damage from our last mission, and the hyperdrive motivator is not in the best shape either. It will not be too difficult of a repair, though it is an important one for you to learn.”

You gave him a quick alright and walked over to him, taking your place on his left.

_

You whined in frustration and threw your tool to the ground. You couldn’t seem to get the hang of it and it was maddening. You sat before easing yourself into laying down with your arms crossed; a curious Tech granting you shade as he stood above you.

“You are… quite reactive today,” he told you, stating the obvious like always.

You rolled your eyes at him, “I don’t know what you're talking about Tech. Perhaps you don’t either.” Just because it was obvious did not mean it needed to be discussed. Hopefully, you made that clear.

“I always know what I am talking about.”

Or perhaps not.

“Uh-huh.”

His armor shuffled as he sat next to you. 

“It is clear that there is something on your mind. You are not one to be quick to anger.”

Turning your head to face him, he was clearly in thought himself as he looked out towards the body of water in front of you. You sighed before grumbling, “You’re right. sorry.”

He shook his head, “While it is not good to keep emotions bottled up, it is a common response. Do not apologize.” He flicked his eyes towards you momentarily, “...Though, if you are willing, I do not mind lending an ear.”

You have had many conversations with Tech during your time with the Batch, but none this personal. Typically it was just you asking him different questions about how things worked or him telling you without your prior inquiry. You weren’t too keen on the idea of it, you trusted Tech, of course you did. You trusted all of them. But you… held yourself to a high standard. Especially when it came to the clone next to you. 

“It will not change how I view you.” He assured, basically reading your mind.

You turned your head away from him before starting, “It’s silly Tech, I’m just in my head today. A dream I had brought up… unpleasant memories. And it’s all I can bring myself to think about,” his eyes felt like they were burning holes in the back of your head as you spoke, “But I am not going to rant your ear off about it. You’re not my therapist.”

“As far as I am aware, no one is your therapist. However, that is not what I am trying to be. I am simply concerned for your well-being.”

“You have no reason to be concerned,” you told him bluntly. You did not like the idea of taking up someone's time with your feelings. Especially when it came to things you feel you should have moved on from.

“Oh, but I certainly do. To start, I'm certain you've not eaten your rations today. In addition to that, you have remained isolated from 1000 to 1400. And that isolation only stopped when I asked for your time. You have been tense and highly reactive all day. Whatever it is that is on your mind, it is making you anxious. Your lack of focus on any tasks given proves that your thoughts are preoccupied. Stop downplaying your current state and talk to me,” Tech almost sounded like he was begging you, a rare tone to come from him.

You sat up at that and looked at him for a moment, pulling your knees towards you and holding onto them; playing with your hands.

“It’s kind of heavy stuff Tech, are you sure?” he silently nodded, all of his attention on you. You took a deep breath through your nose before you spoke, “Okay… I’ll be blunt then. I was sexually abused, frequently when I was young. It went on for a long time. And whenever I felt safe somewhere new I would be quickly shown that I was not. There were occasions when it was more violent. And I have had vivid nightmares of it in the past. But they haven’t popped up since… maybe a month before I met you guys. But whenever they did they were all I could think about.”

“And that is what’s going on today I assume?”

“Yeah… pretty much.”

You could only bring yourself to focus on the ground, the idea of even looking at Tech right now was daunting. Eye contact was never your strong suit, but definitely not now.

“Do you feel safe?” he inquired bluntly, never being one to beat around the bush.

“Yes? No? I don’t know, it’s not easy to put into words. It’s like… realistically I know I am. But I can’t stop feeling like there is a possibility that I’m not.”

He shifted slightly, one knee up as he put all his weight on the thigh and hand closest to you.

“While I am not sure if it helps, I can assure you that you are. At least in that case. Obviously, there are dangers when it comes to our current line of work and we will always do our best to prevent harm, but please know that none of us would let something of that nature happen to you. You are safe here.”

You broke down at that. You weren’t used to your anxieties being comforted in this way. They were usually dealt with in your own time. Tears began to roll down your cheeks as your body shook. Every little thing that you had piled onto your shoulders began crumbling down.

Tech quietly spoke to you holding his hands up slightly trying to show he wasn’t a threat, facing you as he sat on his knees, “I apologize I did not mean to make you feel worse I-”

“No no don’t say sorry it’s not you just- I haven’t felt safe in a long time and you saying that caught me off guard. It’s hard to hear in a way. It’s frustrating that you even had to say that. Everything about today felt so hard but I know it shouldn’t have felt that way. I’m just so- so upset with myself you know? I feel so- broken. I hate feeling this way. I hate not being okay by now. I- I should be okay by now…” you vigorously wiped your eyes with your palms, sobs falling out of you. You could feel your walls falling and it terrified you. You shook harder as your anxiety bubbled up, all of your thoughts taking over. Tech was silent, you could almost feel him calculating what to do next.

Timid warm arms found themselves around you, slowly pulling you into Tech's chest. You flinched slightly at the sudden gesture before melting into him. His armor was cooler than you expected, but you welcomed it onto your warm face. Tech was stiff. Emotional comfort was not his specialty, but he couldn't bring himself to just sit there.

“I will never let anything happen to you. Do you understand?” He said to you quietly, only receiving a nod from you in return. “And while I do not have much expertise in situations like yours, I promise you do not have to deal with this on your own. You are… quite important to me.”

You didn’t respond, and he didn’t expect you to. You could feel your heartbeat pounding against your skull as you held onto his arms. He tightened his hold around you, securing you to him.

_

Exhaustion flooded over you when your anxiety attack finally stopped. You could barely bring yourself to move. Once Tech figured you got what you needed out of your system he finally spoke, 

“Are you tired? I hope you know I don't expect you to complete your lesson. It can wait.”

You laughed slightly at him stating what you thought was obvious, “Yeah a little. But… I'll be fine. Thank you for uhm- staying with me through that.” You rubbed your eyes, crusty from your salty tears hardening on your lashes. 

He stood up, making sure to not jostle you in doing so before offering you his hand to help you up. You finally looked up at him after everything. His brown eyes glistened softly under his goggles. They were warm, but the sad gleam they held was noticeable.

You took his hand so he could hoist you up. Your legs shook like twigs in the wind as you got back onto your feet.

“I really think you should rest. Anxiety attacks are quite draining. It will only do you good.”

He walked behind you as he pushed you up the ramp to the Marauder, not taking no for an answer. He even waited near the door to the bunks to make sure you made it up to your designated sleeping spot

“I will leave you to it.”

_

Tech sat in the pilot seat on his datapad for nearly two standard hours as you slept. He was looking into different coping mechanisms he could provide you. Or at least so he was better at calming you down. Not knowing what to do in any situation frustrated him. But he wasn't sure if it was because of his ego, or if it was because it had to do with you. 

His brows furrowed when he remembered how you shook like a leaf in his arms. He's never seen you cry, let alone like that. 

Tech sighed and set his device on his lap, resting his head in his hand as he thought about today. He couldn't help that he was still worrying about you. The thought of the things you told him whirred in his mind and he felt his hands clench slightly. He couldn't bring himself to even begin to imagine your experiences. And he knew if he saw those guilty of inflicting so much harm to you he'd see red. 

All he knew was that he had to protect you. He knew that he would by any means necessary. And if that meant merely holding you while you cried then that is what he'd do. Any time you needed him he'd make sure to be there. You were… special to Tech. He wasn't exactly sure why. Or what the exact feeling was. All he knew was that he stole glances at you whenever you weren't looking. He wanted to know every thought that ever entered your mind. And that your laugh was one of his favorite sounds. 

He has wondered before if it was perhaps love he felt for you, but he had no real way to be sure. He's never had a crush before so he wouldn't know exactly how that would feel. But it was the only idea that really made sense to him.

He wondered if you felt that way about him. Or if it was even possible that you could. Tech shook his head at the thought. Now was not the time.

He jolted when he felt you tap his shoulder.

“Hey, sorry I was out for so long. I brought you some caff,” you handed him a cup with an awkward smile, looking to the side instead of making eye contact.

“Ah… thank you.”

The seat beside him creaked as you sat down and he couldn't help but look at you. Your bedhead wasn't drastic but it was there. You somehow still looked tired despite sleeping for so long. That was probably why you had your own cup.

“How are you feeling?” 

“Better”

Tech hummed in response as he sipped his drink. It was relieving to hear you say that and it finally felt true, unlike your earlier statements.

A comfortable silence was between you as you both looked out the Marauder’s glass pane. 

“Tech?”

“Yes?”

“Can you uhm…tell me about something? Anything works. I kinda just wanna hear you talk.”

Tech was used to you catching him by surprise. You always managed to. But you outright saying you just wanted him to talk for the mere sake of talking wasn't something he'd ever expect from anyone. Though he figured it was just to keep your mind occupied. He thought for a moment before picking a topic.

“I don't believe I have told you how hyperdrives work and it's quite a fascinating topic really. The way they manage to preserve a vessel’s mass is quite spectacular, you'll love this-”

_

You loved hearing Tech talk, it was a great pass time and in your current moment a great distraction. Though you're embarrassed now with how straightforward you were with it. You took long sips of your caf, eyes focused on the dark sky and his voice. He began to ramble a bit about ionization, somewhat forgetting the original topic; but it was obvious that you didn't mind. You just appreciated how willingly he took your request.

A content hum came from you before Tech cleared his throat causing you to face him.

“Have you managed to eat anything yet? I am aware that anxiety can affect your digestive tract into having a lowered appetite, but I insist that you attempt to eat at the very least once a day.” 

You shook your head causing him to stand up to grab you a ration bar. You took it and begrudgingly ate. Between bites, you attempted to look Tech in the eyes.

“Thank you for caring, Tech. It's…. Nice”

Tech took in the features of your eyes, making sure to capture every little feature while he had the chance. A moment later, he adjusted his goggles and looked into his cup,

“That is nothing to thank me for. But… you are welcome. Anytime you require emotional assistance, notify me. You will never be a burden in doing so.”

You laughed at Tech a bit. His formal way of speech no matter who he talked to always seemed to be present. Even in intimate moments alone. You hoped he didn't think you were making fun of him. You just found him intriguing.

“Well alright…I'll keep that in mind Tech.” you stared into your cup, warmth surrounding your hands. You appreciated Tech’s efforts dearly, though you felt a bit guilty for breaking down in front of him. The back of your hands stung a bit, you didn't realize how raw they were from your fidgeting earlier. You took that as a sign that trimming your nails more frequently would be a good idea.

“May I see your hands?” You didn't notice him staring, but you reluctantly set down your cup and held them out to him. He set down his own cup before gently taking your hands into his for his inspection. He frowned at the wounds you accidentally gave yourself. A clear liquid formed over them as your body worked to prevent infection. “A bit deeper than expected… Wait here.”

He stood up suddenly to grab the med kit, coming back to you with Bacta spray and a roll of bandage wrap. He sat back in his pilot seat and took your left hand which took the worst of the damage.

“It may feel a bit uncomfortable. The texture is rather unpleasant.”

You grimaced once he sprayed your hands. He was right, it was quite slimy. It felt…honestly rather gross. but you ignored it the best you could, watching him work on you. Once he finished with the spray he skillfully wrapped your hands; likely having experience with minor wound care. He paused and kept your hands in his, looking up at you, tilting his head to get your attention. 

“How… is that? Too tight?”

“No- no it's good.”

He nodded but didn't let go. He seemed lost in thought as he looked at them. You felt his grip tighten, causing you to grimace slightly at the discomfort it brought. Suddenly, he hung his head; bringing his forehead to your hands. You were… more than a little confused. But you didn't break the silence that hung heavily in the Marauder’s cycled air. He broke the silence instead. 

Head still resting on your hands, he spoke quietly, “I will make sure to obtain a proper stimulation gadget for you.”

All you could offer him was a small okay, not sure how to navigate the situation. You couldn't figure out what he was feeling. But his discomfort was clear as he removed himself, excusing himself to the refresher. You sat there for multiple standard minutes trying to decipher him. 

Once he exited, he was obviously trying to string together something to say. But for once he couldn’t find anything.

“You alright Tech?”

He snapped his head up at you, “Oh! Ah yes, I am fine. To be blunt, I do not know exactly how to behave with you at the moment. This is quite new to me as well.”

You nodded “Well you don't need to do anything special. Your company is enough, Tech.” He sighed at that. He clearly felt like he should be able to offer more. But he was willing to take your word for it. He stood next to where you sat, probably bored out of his mind. 

You looked up at him, finally allowing yourself to find some comfort in his honey-brown eyes. You locked gazes as the peace you felt warmed you through your core. You found yourself leaning into him, head resting on his side. He was tense at first, not used to your unusual want for physical contact. But he found himself returning your gesture with a hand to your shoulder, pulling you closer.

[pidgefudge]

SO. i have listened to @gooboogy 's wonderful green album. and i wrote down my thoughts on each song. and now i am putting them here!!

"thoughts" being actually somewhat coherent comments that devolve into What Would This Be In A Video Game because this is me we're working with after all

and you reading this. yes you. go listen to it

verdant: oooough blorpy,,,, very cool i like. good beat it's quite foot tappable. also the name itself might be a new vocal stim. verdant. vvvverrrrrdant.

halls: much noises!! the instrumence in this scratch my brain in a good way. feels a bit like im 7 years old watchinf my brother play 2d mario stages and reimagining the music

agua: oooohh arpeggio action and a SICK beat. once again the Noises are lovely. big fan of all 3 so far but this one in particular methinks. however i have many more songs to go (!!)

doot doot: very fun i also like this one a lot :3 and coming to you from my one-track autistic mind: this album would be a fantastic game soundtrack

side note i know im writing less for some of these but thats bc im experiencing them in shapes and colors more than expressable words. trust me they're stirring the brain stew

going for a walk: i know the title is about a walk but im envisioning this as the soundtrack to a sort of road trip montage animation thing. specifically my road trip with family from san francisco to la. oh yes this ending is us finally getting to the hotel and me flopping onto the bed

forward: im liking the melody here a lot <33 this album is making me want to boot up lmms again and try my hand at original music,,, ive only ever attempted remixes (i tried to do aquarium park from sonic colors a few years ago and gave up but now i kinda wanna go back to it,,, i wonder if i was cooking) ok yes back to the actual song whoops this one is soo cool one of my faves so far

snag: i like these opening chords!! i dont know what you actually call them but the like. buildup parts?? you know?? those bits??? big fan OOH and a uh. build down (lol) bit too! also liking the sparkly chimey instrumence

blazen: OHHH YESSS this would be the theme for my favorite antagonist in the hypothetical game that i am apparently going to be referencing multiple times (dimentio and mr L came to mind immediately) absolutely jamming

beep boop: fuck yeah man it sure does OH SPOOKY NOTES OH OH COOL BEAT ASWELL i am in for a fun time this is. also the theme of my favorite antagonist. but the battle theme i think. oh hell yeah the orchestra hits. yes yes definitely battle theme. sorry for putting all these in a vgm context shfjdkfkssghf i just listen to a lot of it so thats how my brain parses instrumentals

hunt: strimgs :3 wohhh this is so cool. buzzy in a good way. golden brown triangles and other spiky shapes. that's kinda meaningless to anyone but me but. oh nice more Noises always love the Noises

overwhelm: theme for when i have a project due the next day and am swamped with other homework shdjdksfjdh

VERDANT!: once more with gusto!! loving the faster tempo. constellationy crystally instrument is particularly pleasing. oooughh so gooddddd

creepin': spacey!! im watching a crew set out in their little shuttle, oblivious to the horrors awaiting them on their station

envy: this is a boss fight that's emotionally heavy for the protagonists. perhaps fighting a former friend or mentor or team member

whomp whomp: quite a tricksy track!! some sort of haunted place,,,, maybe the place where the previous battle takes place. maybe it's actually a ghost (especially if the protagonist had some role in their death and feels crushing guilt) (bonus points if the ghost openly expresses resentment for the protag)

gromulous: the word ever. final boss' lair for sureee. yeah this song sure is gromulous. idk how else to describe it you hit the nail on the head

largemouth: oooh a bit silly but also cool guy. im thinking some sort of underground secret society/lab thing they have to infiltrate that's hiding a Sinister Secret (the big plot twist of the game) doesn't even have to physically be underground it could be a moon base situation. maybe i should just make this whole thing into a scifi space rpg

a way out: i can see this as the final boss music and as you get further in the fight it ramps up. i know i already assigned songs to the main antagonist but shhhhh. (or i can always pull a super paper mario in terms of antagonists)

under over: oh!! i love this one!! hometown theme. chill and familiar but still upbeat rather than sleepy. and it has a very strong nostalgia factor,,,,, in love with this song it might be my favorite. but there are still 3 more so!

float: this beginning is very cool im loving the vibe. dire dire docks but make it just after sunset and watch the ocean come alive with bioluminescent lights and fish raves. i guess it isnt a space game anymore. or maybe dream sequence beach episode?? WOAHHH OCEAN MAGICANT i might be cooking with this one Hold On. yesyesyes ok some sort of trip/dream where theyre shrunk down marinauts (whatever ocean prefix) as opposed to astronauts and exploring a cool coral reef/ocean floor area and talking to the sea life and woahhhhhh this would look gorgeous in pixel art. tbh this one could be in its own game considering how vivid the imagery is

outside: post-final-boss world returning to normal/person being rescued or uncorrupted/whatever magical thing happening. very fond of the bird chirps too <33 OH MUSIC BOX SOUNDS i also adore this one. i think the ending of this game is kinda bittersweet. we saved the world/person/whatever but At A Cost. this is sooooo pretty. would also transition well into credits

Green: and roll credits!! this would be the kind of credits theme i sway in my seat and contemplate the game to. the entire album is fantastic and these last few especially have been so lovely

[sighs-deeply-and-dreadfully]

Hey! Your hcs are so amazing💕 I was wondering if you could write a Wally Darling x autistic reader… I’m autistic and this would be very meaningful to me

Btw sorry for the english, I am brazillian and not used to write in any language that isn’t portuguese lol

That’s perfectly okay, friend!! I think you did just fine (with the wording of your message, I mean) !! :] /g and thank you!!

And sure thing!! I’m autistic, too :D so I’m happy to write for this!! Haha!!

Pluffy Fluffy

Wally Darling x GN!Autistic!Reader

Headcanons Format, Relation can be interpreted by the Reader!

Please note, everyone is different on the Autism Spectrum! I loosely based this off of my own experience, but you are free to request again and specify where you lie, or how yours represents itself!! I would be happy to personalize it, more :]

Wally Darling is a lovely companion to have when you’re on the autism spectrum! He has it, himself. :]

Though his manifests in its own way, with its own mannerisms, he still can very easily understand your own standpoint— whether it’s akin to his or not!

Specifically, he’s quite good when it comes to overstimulation.

Wally’s an observant one— for everyone in his life. He knows the indicators that something is getting “too much” for just about anyone, and that very much includes you.

Whether your start getting jittery, angry, spacey, or however it is you begin to behave when undergoing too much, he learns the signs of it.

If you’re one to devolve into mumbling, or go nonverbal, he’s perfectly okay to sit with you until you get your words together. If there are tools that help you communicate, he is sure to remind you of them so you can use them— if you’d like to. If you don’t want to? He’ll just stay by you, if you’d like to have company.

He takes great care in asking and finding out what helps you during overstimulation, as well.

If you’re one to need a complete environment change, he is expertly skilled in peacefully intervening whatever interaction and getting you out of it stress-free!

And if being placed into a quiet environment helps; he’s got many quiet, serene spots he’d be happy to share!

If going to your home would help most, though, he’ll gladly walk you— and if you’d like company, he’d stay with you.

Really, anywhere you’d like to go, he’d be happy to be by your side!

If you need someone to squeeze, or just let it out to, he’s also happy to help with that! Although he may not embrace you back (not because he doesn’t want to!.. He just doesn’t know that he should), he is happy to oblige!

If touching people isn’t your thing, though, he’s also got a stress ball somewhere around here..

Or, if you’re maybe just someone that needs to be entirely alone to calm down? That’s okay, too, he entirely understands— for he’s the same, that way.

Regardless of what you need, he will try to help in any way he can!

Which very much includes guiding you through grounding methods, too, if need be.. He likes to think his voice can be soothing!

Now, on the contrary, when it comes to under-stimulation? He’s quite the helper there, too!

He tries to get you to do something, really— which has included offers of painting (which also includes finger painting), letting you ramble to him (or having him ramble to you, if you’d want!.. He’s just a bit hard to get going.. but he’s willing to try, at the very least), or maybe just going on a walk. If company helps you in any way, shape, or form; he’s there.

Whatever it is that helps you, he is there to provide if it calls for him to!

When it comes to textures, Wally is a very texture-orientated person. He’s perpetually in a state of being somewhat under-stimulated, but textures help him with that!

With that in mind, if you’re similar? He will gladly show you what he finds textures on! It isn’t uncommon to find him running his hands along something, extremely content.

He especially notes which textures give you euphoria, or that you just like, and will try to show you them!

With textures that make you uncomfortable, though? He’ll keep it in mind! And, to be frank, he doesn’t mind being a sort of “texture tester”.

“Ah.. this shirt wouldn’t feel good, to you.. it’s scratchy.”

Speaking of shirts, he’d be delighted to help you find texture-safe clothing, if it’s something you’d need or want help with!

Along with tags. He’s got a seam cutter just for tags, and he’d be happy to help you remove your own without damaging the clothing, if you’d like!

If you two are physically close (he can perfectly understand not being someone who likes physical contact, so no worries!), he takes great care to make sure any of the clothing he wears around you isn’t a “bad texture”.

Speaking of physical touch; he’s perfectly fine if you’re one to not like it. He’s got his own ways of showing affection beyond it! Affection, in his eyes, is so much more than just physical intimacy.

Ah, and noises.. Wally, himself, has a bit of noise sensitivity. Specifically, clearing of throats can get a bit.. much for him, if done too much too fast.

If you’re similar? He understands entirely— and he has many, many quiet spots he’d love to share (as was mentioned earlier)!

If you’re one to get overstimulated by sounds quite quickly, he will try— when he can— to give you a heads up if anything might have noises that might cause you to fall into a state like that.

“Howdy’s shop.. has an old bell, on the door.. so.. try to open it carefully.. it’s a bit screechy.. and there’s an A.C in.. his store— so there’s.. a constant kind of.. ‘whrrr’..”

And.. ah, his.. very intense eye contact. He fully understands if if makes someone else uncomfortable, and he would make it clear you don’t have to return it if it discomforts you.

If just having him stare so intensely is a discomfort in general, he’d try to tone it down.. though it’s a bit difficult. He wouldn’t mind reminders, though.

Wooh boy! Whether or not you’re similar, he in particular struggles on social cues and tones. For that, his own voice tends to be rather flat— but he’d never mind clarifying how he meant something he said, if asked!

But with the social cues? Oh boy.

You have to communicate directly with him— or else he just.. Won’t Get It. Not for a lack of trying, but it either just flies over his head, or he doesn’t understand.

So he appreciates direct-ness, and honesty. He doesn’t take either as offending, whatsoever!

For this, though, he’s very blunt and honest in return. He means absolutely no harm! But he isn’t the best at softening his words. To be fair, though, it’s not like he’d have to very often— even for someone quite sensitive. He seems to, almost naturally, structure his sentences softer— he just can’t seem to do it on command.

Ahh, special interest and fixations!

He loves to listen to people talk, to see them happy and ramble.

With that, he is always open to you talking to him about your interests as a whole, or whatever you’ve got on your mind!

He isn’t one to engage very much beyond nodding and smiling, but do not be mistaken— he is listening to every word.

Specifically, he tries to get you things that relate to your interest.

If you like stars? He might paint you a painting of them! If you like bugs, he’ll certainly try to borrow a few books from Frank to read them over so he can hopefully understand what you’re talking about more..

Whatever it is, he tries to understand and learn— he wants you to feel heard, and that is how he tries to express that you are!

When it comes to stimming, he actually quite enjoys sort of mirroring however it is you stim!

He tends to stim himself by humming, or wiggling his head side to side.

But when it comes to you, or his friends, doing as such? He tends to join! He isn’t really sure why he does this, but he enjoys it— and means it well!

If you rock, he’ll rock with you. If you flap your hands, he’ll do the same!!

If you don’t like this, though, he won’t do it to you! But he’s delighted to see you stim— when it’s positive, of course.

In the case you’re stimming due to negative feelings? He’ll just try to help you in whatever way helps you best!!

Overall, he just cares a whole awful lot— and understands where you come from, entirely. No matter where you land, or what helps you, he will be there to understand. He’s there for you! Forever and always

Ahh!! I hope this was enjoyable!! I tried very hard to make it apply to a majority HAHA I’m hoping my own experiences didn’t influence too much!!

Also please ignore the double yellow bars down here <:] I literally cannot get rid of them on mobile— so I have to wait until I’m on laptop to do as such!- (EDIT : Fixed it! BWAHA)

Edit : I FORGOT TO COVER STIMMING, AH.. I AM SILLY… I have added it near the bottom! :]

Have a lovely day!!!

[captainfairygodmother]

if you were the doctor what would your Outfit™️ be

Oh, this- this is interesting!

As a forewarning, I am only up to the 2009 specials, but I know what the other Doctors look like so will draw some inspiration from them, as well as my own style.

So, without further ado;

Lowen As the Hypothetical Doctor:

Cue Doctor Who Theme

Coat:

What I'll first start with is the top layer, which, naturally, is going to be some sort of long coat/trench coat.

It would have to be long, and quite older fashioned- to be fair, it would probably be more Jack Harkness style than, say, 10th Doctor. I wouldn't have it in Navy though, I'd probably have it in black or grey.

Some random Google examples:

Shoes:

Now, this is probably going to be the easiest one. Why? Because I would probably directly copy the 9th Doctor's boots.

I mean, just look at them. Aren't they glorious?

My current pair of boots are falling apart, I've wore them pretty much every day for the past year, and the sole has now just completely separated from the bottom of the shoe. I have hot glued them back together, but it doesn't really work...

Actually, I might have a picture from when I first got them, just as some inspiration for what I'd wear...

Stunning. I love them. Definitely in my Doctor Outfit™.

Actually, you know what would be quite fun? If I had little charm things that dangle from the back loops of the boots. The charms could be little TARDISes, yes!

Rest of the Clothes:

As for clothes, everyone knows I'm obsessed with Ianto Jones, so obviously I'm going to include a suit of some sort in here.

Now, the difficult part is trying to find something that ma- oh wait, this doesn't have to match, it's a Doctor Outfit!

As a result, going by this logic, I can go wild- especially since the rest of my outfit is quite normal.

So, obviously I can just do something like:

It's an absolute eyesore. It's perfect. Yes.

Anyway, it can go with like, a white long sleeved shirt (sleeves rolled up to my elbows, of course) and some plain black/dark grey trousers.

Every three or four episodes, you'd spot me wearing a tie. My companion would- after the second time seeing me wearing a tie- ask me why I don't often wear one. I would then continue on to gaslight them and say that I always wear a tie. In the final episode of my season, I would then admit to the companion that I just forget how to tie a tie most of the time.

Accessories, Hair Etc Etc:

For my hair, I'd either go with Thirteenth Doctor but brunette, or just always tied back in two braids with rainbow ribbons. I think it would really tie the whole outfit together, you know?

As for accessories, you wouldn't catch me dead without THE pocket watch. Sorry, I just really love pocket watches- it doesn't even have to store my memory, I'd just wear it on the daily!

But just to really push for the whole "What the hell is wrong with you?" kind of look:

They'd probably be frequently seen on top of my head, because why the Hell not? If I'm travelling across the Universe, I should get to wear some fun spacey things!

Final Product:

Dear God. I'm supposed to be writing my Torchwood fic right now. But instead I'm drawing this absolute monstrosity.

Anyway, here is the theoretical Lowen Doctor Outfit™:

Ignore this literally being the worst drawing of my life, it's 23:35 and I needed to rush it.

As you can see, I tried to include as many elements as I could, INCLUDING the rainbow ribbons, pocket watch, and even the little TARDIS boot charms at the back.

In Conclusion:

I spent way too long on this and put in a lot more effort than I probably should have. It's a mess and I'm obsessed with it.

Thank you for this wonderful ask! I hope it's satisfactory!

[social-mockingbird]

keldabe kisses are the windows to the soul (pt.2)

(tech x reader)

pt. 1 here!  pt. 3 here!

hello, lovely humans! i hope you’re doing well! here is part two! i thought this would only be two parts, but it will probably end up being three. it is a slower burn than i originally intended, but i am having a blast writing the Pining™️.

author’s rec: red giant by stellardrone is a gorgeous spacey vibe of a song and fits this part really well :D

________

You really weren’t that surprised Cid let you go with the boys. She’d taken one look at your suddenly watery eyes when Echo told you they were leaving, huffed, and started digging credits out of her pockets. 

“Advance pay,” she’d croaked at you. “Don’t be gone too long.” 

It had been two months of jobs, sleeping on the Marauder and eating rations, and you’d never been happier. Wrecker and Omega had taken to including you during their game nights, and Hunter had shown you a few basic moves with his hunting knife. You’d had at least two holofilm nights with Echo and he always cried at the sad parts and always pretended he didn’t. It was, despite some hairy missions and sleepless nights, a quiet sort of existence. So you’d had a lot of time to think.

They’d told you Tech’s thing was his smarts–the Kaminoans had blessed him with increased mental capacity and a photographic memory that made him wicked brilliant and a total nerd to boot. He still hadn’t stopped ranting about the beetles you’d found on Kashyyyk three weeks ago to anyone who would listen (you). 

But you swore his real talent was in perceptiveness–he noticed everything. 

Which was not helpful when you were prone to staring at him. 

He was captivating, and it was horrible. You told yourself it was because of how intent he got on his work, his rare smiles, his gentle hands. 

But you knew it was his eyes. 

Omega and Kix–God, you missed Kix–were the only clones you knew who ever came close to the particular shade of gold in Tech’s eyes, but Omega’s were too auburn, Kix’s too brown. It was a sharp contrast to the almost greyish-brown of Hunter’s eyes and the bluish tint of Wrecker’s one good eye. 

But he noticed every time you started to stare, and you could almost swear he’d started staring back–and that was not something you were prepared to handle. Kix used to do the same, meeting your eyes over trays of meds and bacta, noticing when you got too exhausted or overwhelmed. 

But your feelings for Kix were a pretty scar on your healing heart. You mourned him, and loved him, but you knew moving on was what he would have wanted for you, selfless as he was. 

And now there was Tech.

You told yourself it was a silly crush. You were lonely, and he was a weird sort of lovely. Gentle with you and Omega, patient, and quietly kind. He’d been the one to let you sit up with him when you needed a night to think, and the one to regale you with the oddest facts about his favorite monsters and animals from adventures to make you laugh and wonder. So you resigned yourself to quiet loving, the kind that didn’t scare people away, the kind that didn’t hurt too much when you had to move on. 

And then you hurt yourself during a stargazing trip. 

It was the perfect definition of trip, really; nothing more cartoonish could have happened to you than the way you caught your toe on a twisty root and flailed all the way to the ground, making a noise that sounded like a sick Wookie. A nasty flare of pain went up your wrist when it caught the brunt of your fall. 

Wrecker laughed first, because it was funny, but he was the first to pick you up and set you gently upright on the ground when he heard you groan. You did your best not to sniffle. They’d all had worse than some stupid scrapes and a tweaked wrist, and you weren’t about to complain. 

Hunter assured you your wrist wasn’t broken and took the bandages from Echo’s pack to wrap it while Omega cleaned the scrapes on your chin and palms and knees with something that stung. It was sweet, the way they all gathered around you, a pack of worried siblings. 

“I can carry her to the outcropping.” 

Tech’s voice was a surprise. He’d silently watched as his sister and brothers tended to you, eyes on your face the whole time. 

“That’s sweet, Tech, but I can walk.” You waggled your feet. “Still in tip-top shape.” Your left ankle twinged in protest, and you winced. 

____

It made sense that Tech would be able to carry you effortlessly. He was just as fast and strong as his brothers, and one of the tallest in the crew. It was just—he held you like it was nothing. You couldn’t feel him straining, and any shifting he did only brought you closer into his embrace. He’d encouraged you to wrap your arms around his neck to make transporting you a bit easier, and he didn’t seem to mind that you’d rested your head on his chest, eyes closed. There wasn’t much to see until the outcropping anyway. 

He had his own scent underneath the regulation soap you all used and it was driving you crazy. 

And thinking about it was driving you crazier. You were glad Echo couldn’t see your face because you wouldn’t be able to stand the knowing look he’d give you. Echo’s antics would reveal your feelings faster than you’d ever want. 

Faint pink light made you open your eyes just as Tech shifted your weight, setting you down on a flat rock and making sure your legs weren’t folded uncomfortably. He settled next to you and placed a hand over your eyes. 

“Tech. What?” You almost pried his hand away but then that would mean touching his hand and suddenly you were overthinking it and twisting your fingers in your lap. 

“Wait until everyone gets settled. In approximately seven ticks it will be the optimal viewing time.” 

So you sat, trying not to think about how warm his gloved hand was, and breathed out a sigh, focusing on the gentle warmth of the light seeping through Tech’s fingers. 

When he drew his hand away everything was new. 

Most planets you visited had sunrises in similar colors, buttery yellows and oranges and the sort of pink you loved as a little girl, but this sky was purple, and so clear. 

There was faint pink light on the horizon where the sun was starting to come up, lining the few flat clouds with scarlet, but the main attraction was the sky above it, a rich, smooth violet expanse, filled with stars and galaxies like gems on a gown. Even Wrecker went silent after his first delighted shout, and you watched the planets dance in a glassy sky, reflected in the smooth water below the outcropping. You forgot about your aching body during the minutes before the sun broke the bonds of the sea and cast pale, pretty light into your eyes. 

There was a glint to your right. You turned just in time to catch Tech shift towards the sun, turning his face into the light. 

Where had he been looking before? 

It gave you something to think about, for sure, as he carried you back to the Marauder, and you leaned your head against him and prayed that maybe everything was changing.

[chronicallyuniconic]

Why we need to stop blaming survivors who take years to come forward:

*TW: Childhood Sexual Abuse*

[In light of Kevin Spacey being in court, I'm seeing alot of horrible discourse & I just want to add my exp so I don't scream profanities].

It takes years to report for so many reasons and I'm here to describe my personal experience, and just why it took so long to come forward. Only now 25 years after it started, am I able to write about it with some clarity instead of confusion.

I was just a child when it happened, in my formative years, considered one of the most important times for a developing child. I did not know, not fully anyway, how wrong it was, what happened to me, that it was a crime.

The person who did it, was fully known to everyone around me, and everyone loved (and still love) that version of the person they knew/know.

From about age 6, I was silently questioning if I'd dreamt it multiple times, or maybe what happened to me was just something that was supposed to take place. Did every _____ do this? Does every daughter have this happen to them? Is it all children my age maybe? I just couldn't make sense of it. In some ways, I still can't.

I didnt know the word pornography at such a young age, but the magazines my abuser would leave for me to find, left me confused, what are those people doing?

As I chug into my teenage years with these mixed memories, feelings, and now hormones, I spend more time with a friend, my best friend and later became my first girlfriend at 14. She had a similar thing happen to her too, multiple times just like me, except when she told a teacher she was taken from her mother and sister, into foster care. And that's how our relationship ended.

I didn't want to be separated from my younger sibling, of which we are immensely close. I have to protect this from happening to them, to us. A month later, I find out I'm going to be welcoming another sibling in 6 months. I sobbed at the thought of another sibling having to endure what I had, I have a baby to protect soon and it's not mine. I spent my teenage years with them as much as I could.

It wasn't until I turned 17, I realise the predator living around me, is only into girls. They continue watching me through cracks in the door, walking in when I'm in the bathroom doing anything, secretly going through my phone, taking me for driving lessons, keeping up work in the community, all the while dropping towel when I walk past the bedroom.

Somehow, I kept my wits about me, and at 18 left 300 miles in the opposite direction to University. My sibling could protect themselves now too. I had to say goodbye to my mum, she was still involved with him.

After 10 weeks at University, I was alone and isolated, I struggled to make friends, noone on my course lived anywhere near me. I was suggested to go to the University counsellor, where after 12 weeks, I had told her more or less everything.

It took me another 2 years and a failed relationship to summon the courage to ring the police, and now also explain why it had taken me so long and why would I go on driving lessons with the man that did this to me? And even now looking back, there were things I'd left out in my report. Because repressed memories really do exist and they're still affecting me to this day.

If you have ever felt the rushing wave of a memory you never had before, suddenly appear, I'm giving you such a big hug, because it's awful. It's like drowning where you stand and I've spent too long questioning my reality.

The next time you wonder why it took someone so long to speak up, it's not just about that. It takes years of mental torture and so much silent work to undo damage that should have never been there in the first place.

Standing with the men who are speaking up💜

[kaengeru]

HELLO! yes, i am not dead! my brain hasnt been able to focus on art or writing currently, but i have been lurking

due to my own hubris (in overextending myself) and the unfortunate ai creep (which isnt threatening so much as exhausting) im gonna be withdrawing a lot of myself to posting almost exclusively on this nifty little site im still in the progress of completing. i will cross-post between onto tumblr. MAYBE twitter. but thats about it. gonna focus on putting everything together

i will - once my brain gets back into the groove for it - work on replies, but i just. cant jump into another social media site. im tired. ive been tired for a while, honestly - which can be attributed to me being in my thirties as well lol. the internets a fun place but its not suppose to take more work than something i get paid to do

also ive been wanting to slowly wean myself off the Internet for a while so at least i have more motivation now than ever to actually start doing it

ive been intending to make this post for a while, though with more ic information. hopefully ill be able to complete all that ehh eventually (its not necessary to give enya a reason to be around less but there will be one that ive been working on for way too long)

feel free to message me, be it to chat or come up with some thread ideas. im happy to do so!

you can find me here (@kaengeru) / @limlnal as well as @thylacoleocarn - these will be your best bet twitter too but not super active discord is thyla#4699 (i think??) but im way more spacey at being there and thylacoleocarn.neocities once again c:

ya'll have been (and continue to be) super awesome and wish u all the best in ur own goals <3

[wisteria-lodge]

Have you sorted the Hogwarts Legacy companions at all?? I checked your master list and couldn’t find anything but I’m not sure if I’m just being blind 💀😂

So here's the thing.

(And your ask is super nice and in absolute good-faith, it's just also a good way of getting into this stuff.)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is not Joss Whedon. House of Cards is not Kevin Spacey. But Harry Potter kinda is JK Rowling. She has an astounding and honestly pretty unique amount of both creative control and ownership over that property. The only other person I can think of who's even in the same category is George Lucas... before he sold it to Disney, obviously.

And JKR has written about how she interprets the royalty checks she gets as kind of tacit approval from the world, which makes sense because she's been also very public about how she spends those royalty checks to support anti-trans campaigners and legislation.

But. But. I get wanting to engage with the property. I mean, obviously. I'm going to tag this 'sortinghatchats.' The parent system is clearly HP, and the point of changing the terminology was never disguising that, it was more supposed to communicate that I am not engaging with the work or its creator uncritically. I think it's worked pretty well. I've gotten maybe one piece of anon hate calling me a terf? That's not bad.

I'm a teacher, and the place I work attracts a *lot* of LGBT students. Trans and non-binary especially. And they're interested in Harry Potter. They read a lot of Harry Potter fanfiction. They want to talk to me about Harry Potter, and about JK Rowling. I don't see this property fading away any time soon.

And like. I was a fan. I waited until midnight in a bookstore to get books 4, 5, 6 and 7. My Sibyl Trelawney came in second at the book 7 costume contest. Which was fine because the girl who won did the most perfect Hermione you've ever seen, and spent the whole time handing out SPEW badges and knitting house elf clothing.

Recently, I'm finding myself wanting to unpack this property as an adult. Maybe understand some of the biases I didn't pick up as a kid, maybe do right by some of my favorite characters. Because there's good stuff in there. How much was on accident versus on purpose, how much is the fandom interpreting the text in a specific way, how much is the films smoothing over issues... and creating different issues... I would like to work all that out.

And actually, when I started writing some Harry Potter fanfiction over the holidays, it came pouring out, and it felt *good.* Clearly I've got a lot of *stuff* that I want to examine and *put somewhere,* and for me, writing (ships that JKR doesn't like) was a fun and ethical way to do that. Maybe I'll even post it with a nice disclaimer.

So that's me. Fanfiction, fan side-projects, fan merch. I guess the argument against that would be "free advertising," but like - HP has so much just - actual advertising - and I'd like it if people who still wanted to engage with the property had somewhere else to go. So no Hogwarts Legacy for me, no Fantastic Beasts films, or HBO miniseries, or even Cormoran Strike books. (and people don't talk about this enough - but a big aspect of that series is essentially JKR writing a non-magic AU where she ships herself with Mad-Eye Moody. I have no idea what to do with this information, but now you have it too.)

I could see myself writing more about JKR or Harry Potter, once I've turned it over more in my mind and feel like I have something useful and new to say. But as it is, this is a snapshot of where I am.

[yeonzzzn]

I just finished For Astra, and I'm blown away. You have a way of writing that draws me in. I've always found it hard to read sci-fi, and I usually can't. I love watching sci-fi, though. I read the work of a friend a few years ago, which helped ease me into it and now this series. It was short but powerful. You are immersed in the work, and you feel like you're going through what's happening. It's so fascinating how an author's mind works. The details, world building, and individual character personalities are so wonderful, and im sure time-consuming to get it just right. I say this all the time, but this reading fics like this makes me feel both awe struck because I'm inspired and inadequate because I'll never write as great as this. I wanted to give praise and feedback. I didn't understand some things because of genius science terms, but it made me want to learn. Thank you for being a great writer and taking the time to share with us.

omg thank you so much for the feedback on for astra!!! this small series means so much to me and became a project I am so proud of.

this means more to me than I can even begin to describe. thank you for taking the time to read my little spacey series. I am so grateful for this feedback 🥺

[enbynautolanenjoyer]

Salutations, friend! This is the headmate roundup?? Based on the poll from a while back, y’all wanted the whole gang. I wasn’t able to get everyone to write their own intros, but I think we got most of us to cooperate lmao.

Everyone is under the cut bc there’s a lot of us dweebs lmaoooo

Dee

Hello! I am Di’kut, or Dee. I’m the host of our traumagenic system, uhhh.. system name pending. I kinda set this up as simply as possible so it wouldn’t take too long for everyone to fill out haha. Nice to meet you!! I am…

20 years old

They/she

Lesbian?? Sapphic?? Idk I like women but specifically anime men are hot, too

Current song stuck in head: The Red Means I Love You

Favorite Food: pastaaaaaa

Favorite drink: chocolate milk

Other: I am super spacey. Help 😭😭😭

Dezmond

Hi. I’m Dez. Uh. God I have not fronted in quite a while. This is a trifling matter. I do not have a proper age. I am tall despite this pathetic small body. I hail from England. He/him. I am bisexual. I haven’t listened to music in a long time. I don’t really have a favorite consumable item. I’m going back to my cave now. Farewell.

Aaron

Hello, there. My name is Aaron, and I am an “introject” sourced from Criminal Minds. Please note: I am not like the actor who portrays me. Let’s see…

My age is around thirty-seven.

I go by he/him pronouns. I am cis male.

I am bisexual.

I am in a relationship with my fellow headmates, Spencer and Reginald.

I am not too tech-savvy. Forgive me for any mistakes.

Margaret

Helloooooo!! My name is Margaret! The spelling may change randomly 😭😭😭😭 You may also call me Maggie! I am British like Dezmond. 😊😊 Pleased to meet you all!!

I am around my early to mid twenties!!

She/her please!!

I am a lesbian :)

Current song… well, I don’t have one stuck in my head at the current moment! However, I do like I Like Me Better by Lauv!

Favorite food: Pringles original!

Favorite drink: water is just fine for me :)

Spencer

Hi! My name is Spencer, and I am an introject based off of Criminal Minds’ Spencer Reid. I enjoy a good puzzle.

27

He/him transmasc

Gay (Happy Pride Month, by the way!)

Current Song: What You Are in the Dark by Trails

Favorite Food: Bananas

Favorite Drink: Those Cirkul Strawberry flavor things you flavor water with

I am in a relationship with Aaron and Reginald!

Tara

Hey, there. I’m Tara, and I’m also a Criminal Minds introject. I don’t front often, but I do like to read.

30s

She/her

Bisexual

Current song: none

Favorite food: spaghetti

Favorite drink: none

Reginald

Hello. I’m Reginald, or Reggie. I am the combination of two introjects who manifested into one unit. I am in a relationship with my dear Spencer and Aaron. It is nice to meet you all, but I’m afraid I dislike fronting. It will likely be a while until I return. Please have a good day.

BIRCH

HEYYYYYY!!!!! IM BIRCH!!! Nice to make yalls acquaintance! I go by she/her usually but I hardly understand myself half the time so feel free to refer to me however???? LMAO

Noel

Heyyy. My name is Noel as you’ve just read. I’m kinda the big sibling round these parts. Fancy meeting you here.

I don’t really have an age. I guess I kinda look like I’m in my late teens, early twenties? Adult ish I suppose. =w=

I go by whatever pronouns. I’m the kinda person that sorta looks female enough but not quite one y’know? Pieck Finger from AOT is my viiiibe. Love her.

No clue on my orientation tbh. I’m here and I’m queer.

Current song: I’m dying in your arms tonight~

Favorite food: gummy bears ✨✨

Favorite drink: strawberry milk 👍

I existed long before we ever watched AOT, but maybe gonna feel cute and restructure my entire existence around Pieck. Feeling a little raggedy girly pop like that 🫣

Anya

Tried getting Anya to type her’s out, but it was so unnatural KSKDDDJ So, hello, it’s me, Dee. Anya is an introject from Spy x Family. She’s the little, so she probably won’t be on much! She loves Nutella, she wanted you all to know that.

Deziray

It’s Dee again!! Deziray is an odd case. We know almost nothing about them. They’re kinda spooky?? 💀💀💀 They probably won’t ever come on, either.

Justice 😎😎😎

Heyyy wassup girlies and gays? My name is Justice, and I’m from Helltaker. I like to chill and have a good time~

I’m pretty old ig? Lol

She/her

Lesbian

Current song: Eye of the Tiger 🐯✨✨

Favorite food: pancakes, or waffles!

Favorite drink: extremely sweetened coffee. Mostly creamer t b h.

Guzma

ITS YA BOI GUZMA!!! HAHAHAAA! WHATS UUUUUUUP

Im from Pokémon. I’ve probably kicked your ass once or twice heh

I’m like 26 prolly

He/him but not cis I ain’t default

Uh. People are hot ig idk what am I gay

GlitchXCity’s entire discography is A tier stuff my dudes.

I ain’t no goofy goober who has a favorite food what am I gay

K I like smoothies tho they chill

Muichiro

Hi. I’m Mui. I’m from Demon Slayer, and this last episode that came out was very embarrassing. They did not need to expose my paper airplanes like that.

I’m a bit older than my source. I’m actually like 18-20, at least it feels like it. Maybe.

He/him please. Maybe they/them?

I don’t know my orientation.

Can You Feel My Heaaaart *angsty noisessss*

I do enjoy like.. those Lunchables? With the extremely processed ham and crackers? Those are the shit.

Choccy milk is very good. It’s the ol reliable of this system I think haha

I want a cat. I’ll name it Kyo. Short for Kyojuro. Cats are like the owls of mammals, right?

Dixie

Hey, it’s Dee again! Dixie asked me to fill her’s out for her!

18 or 24 specifically.

She/her

Panromantic asexual

Current Song stuck in her head: Summertime Sadness

Favorite Food: cheese pizza

Favorite Drink: coffee with moderate vanilla creamer

Sunny

Um yea hi. So I’m Sunny from OMORI. Kind depressin innit

Uh I’m 16 so don’t be weird

He/him

Straight as far as I know

Current song is the White Space theme which should be obvious

I like ramen

I also like choccy milk

Please don’t ask me about Basil we do not like Basil in this house.

Mari

Good evening, my lovelies~! I’m Mari, from OMORI! Nice to meet all of you!

I am 19~

She/her but he/him on full moons~ haha jk just he/him on occasion~

I am straight!

Never Wanted to Dance~

Cotton candy if that counts~!

Jumping on the chocolate milk bandwagon~!

^w^

Aaaaaalrighty! That’s all of us! Sorta?? Thank you for reading, and there’s the “rest” of us who may or may not exist…

Aaravos

Eren

Mikasa

Kobeni

Ena