#but i am quite actively physically disabled

[my-castles-crumbling]

Emotions anon once again, I sent the person I talked about in my last ask an email. It reads:

TW: Talk about Trump

'I would like to not be friends anymore. I just can't sit idly by as someone supports a man that is actively trying to strip away the right of:

Women (and AFAB people in general)

Queer + trans people

People of color

Immigrants

People with mental and physical disabilities

Anyone who isn't a cis, straight, Christian, conservative, white, neurotypical, rich, male

And many more

The man I am talking about doesn't care about climate change or the economy or even people he deems lesser than him.

I also do not want to be friends with people who use racial slurs.

I do not care why you support Trimp, and I do not care to listen to your thoughts on him because he has quite literally SA'd people and said he would date his daughter if she was not related to him. He is disgusting, and I hope you realize sooner or later.'

I had my mom read it over before I sent it because sometimes I can be really rude when talking about something I'm passionate about.

Hi!

I'm really proud of you for setting boundaries in a polite but firm way. It takes a lot to stand up to people, especially about this stuff, and you did a great job <3 If you ever need to talk more about it, or want to update me please continue to send me asks!

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

okay. here's a thing that confuses me about healthcare differences. sometimes i see people say things like "ask your gynecologist" or "ask your dermatologist" or whatever about specific problems. and this suggests that some people specifically have a gynecologist or a dermatologist or some other specialist that they see regularly, or at least were previously seeing before whatever this issue was arose, even if they did not have previous problems in this area

and that is strange to me. i do not know anyone who regularly sees specialists who does not already have a known chronic condition that requires them to see that specialist and even then they're usually struggling to get regular appts. i would understand more if it was like "ask your GP to refer you to a dermatologist" or even "ask A dermatologist" in general. but your dermatologist? i don't have a dermatologist. i don't have a gynecologist either. i get my smear tests with a nurse at the GP surgery like everyone else i know and have so far not had cause to do anything else in that regard so maybe it just hasn't come up but i am not sure most people i know have a gynecologist specifically

so. this perplexes me. it is clearly a cultural difference. but it is usually americans who say it and i do not, generally, get the impression that multiple forms of specialist healthcare are something one can really have on demand when you are paying lots of money for it. what does it all mean

[mars-ipan]

i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much

[stillboredbuttrying]

Idk about you but "my poor autistic brain doesn't deserve to go through the struggle of deconstruct my own harmful biases" sounds more ableist and lazy than actually helpful to other autistic people?

Maybe it's just me, but if someone were to tell me that I'm too autistic to learn to respect others I would be quite offended. How is that an excuse for being racist?

idgaf how autistic you are stop being racist😭😭

[a-little-revolution]

heya, this might be too much for a single post, but i would delight in a ramble about the overlap between dwarfism and disability (whether or not you/the community as a whole generally consider it a capital-D Disability or if theres more nuance like with the autism or HOH/Deaf communities where it just Is and folks feel the the struggles with outgroup folks are like, culture clashes, or perhaps a secret third thing?)

similarly, id love for a ramble on the overlap between dwarfism and queerness, especially The Genders. i have ehlers-danlos syndrome and theres a huge number of us who are trans or nonbinary, to the point where masculinizing hrt is (anecdotally) understood to be a bit of a treatment for some symptoms. i know theres a lot of overlap between queerness and disability as a whole, but so far the couple of artists with dwarfism ive found and followed are all some flavor of trans or nonbinary, so id love to know if thats as common of a thing in your community as it is in mine

dwarfism is for sure underrepresented in discussion about both disability and queerness, and as a disabled queer person they are so intertwined in my head, and im forever curious about other folks experiences so your thoughts are appreciated!

Hello!! I love these questions!!

Firstly, yes, I do identify as being both a little person and disabled, but that isn't the case for everyone with dwarfism. Though dwarfism falls under the classification of a physical disability, not all little people find it physically debilitating. For me, my Achondroplasia dwarfism has resulted in sleep apnea, arthritis, chronic pain, hearing loss, limited mobility and dexterity. I cannot walk long distances and I use multiple moblility aids (wheelchair for long distance, rollator most of the time, and cane for short distances or around the house). My disability is dynamic, meaning that my ability changes day to day depending on pain levels, spoons (unit of measure for disabled energy), and activity.

Being that I am both a little person AND noticeably disabled, I have experienced ableism within both the abled community and the LP community, which is something I don't often talk about. I've been in situations where I feel alienated from my own community - additionally for my queerness. When you exist at the intersection of as many things as I do, you experience many flavours of ignorance and discrimination from the very people who should accept you.

That being said, I have also had the privilege of meeting other little people who are trans, queer, and nonbinary like I am. Our community is incredibly diverse, but spread along the globe. It is easy to feel a profound isolation, but the internet has provided me with a means of connection which I greatly appreciate.

Disability and queerness is something I discuss in depth in my public speaking roles, as I deeply value intersectionality in education and activism (I hope to share some of my talks as I record them in the future!).

I am forever painful aware that ableism is alive and will within the queer community - even when "all are welcome", we are still an after thought. I really urge my fellow queers to think beyond our own community to bipoc and disabled folks, otherwise you're really just dipping your toes into radicalism. Read more books by black disabled trans women of colour, and expand your thinking. (Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk lol)

I can't really speak to hate from the other direction, as all of the disabled folks I know on a personal level are also queer. Though I will say that I certainly receive queer-phobia from older (white) disabled folks - in my experience, when white folks become disabled with age and have not faced any other injustice in their life, they can be very hateful.

This has been quite a post, so I hope I've answered your questions in full! I would be happy to discuss it more if not/answer other related questions! Thank you so much!

Elliot (they/them)

[iridessence]

I would like to take a moment to acknowledge myself and say that I am elated and proud to have manifested some of my major goals since 2018-2019. Basically before then, 2014-16 I struggled with depression and suicidal ideation quite frequently due to not having steady income, as jobs in retail seemed the only available and “safe” options, but long shifts standing at a registers or posts were damagingly hard on my body. In 2017 I got a desk job that set me on the path of financial stability and reduced physical load, which did absolute wonders for my mental health but it was an absolute blight to my existence over time due to terrible management and the usual corporate garbage. I knew that staying there was fine for a time but not sustainable in the long run, so change must come eventually.

also around then, I continued to explore self portraiture and personal style but I really wanted to perform/create Burlesque acts and book them, and invest in and actually have choreography/technique and beautiful costume pieces that looked like the visions refining themselves in my head through research. I was also perpetually struggling in the dating sphere with the deficit of romantic fulfillment that I deeply wanted. and while they weren’t hostile, things were definitely weird with my family (dysfunctional, literal small town energy, upset that I didn’t want to be around them more in the suburbs but lots of interpersonal toxicity and lack of emotional growth).

I knew that in the coming years I wanted to…

quit my soul sucking job and set out to be a full-time or at least professional level burlesque performer, creating the qualitative and classic show girl acts I dream to see on stage

work on the floor at a boutique or mom-and-pop type shop that sells goods or services that are interesting to me, especially aesthetically, such as an antique shop or a jewelry boutique etc., but a place where I could sit intermittently as needed for my physical disability. Also, ideally it would be a position where I could express myself through style at my choosing and it would be received well, and also my hours would not be very early or very late.

find a loving and supporting partner who I could lavish equal amounts of love and support on to, live with and hopefully marry

Achieve/maintain financial stability enough that I have a reduced risk for homelessness and sometimes treat myself to things that I enjoy.

Figure out why the relationship with my family was such a struggle and do things within my power and desire to fix it.

In a world that isn’t a corporate machine devoid of empathy, none of that seems like a tall order to ask… but I live in America so… It took some time, but I’m starting to see the fruits and returns. Honestly sometimes things feel like a blur and I’m not exactly sure I could say there was a huge system to what I did overtime to make it work, but I know the work was there.

As of today, September 9, 2023:

I am a respected professional burlesque performer with costumes I figuratively gag over and acts that come closer and closer to hitting the aesthetic nail on the head for what I want to embody. (I quit that shitty desk job at the beginning of 2019 and haven’t looked back since. Sent a whole ass company wide message with a long and detailed “fuck you” too.😂🙈)

i’ve managed through burlesque, social media work, donations and savings, and —since the global pandemic—,odd jobs and grants/minimal loans, to continuously pay rent and ward off homelessness 

I live with the love of my life, to whom I am engaged and actively planning our wedding (we looked at a venue yesterday!)

I’ve helped my mom on the growth of her emotional intelligence and commitment to learning more about values under the race, gender, and sexuality umbrella, as well pushed her to examine the enabling and entitlement dynamics with her adult children that take advantage of her. While my relationship with my brother and sister is not great, my relationship with my mom has been steadily getting better since the pandemic. we had a breakthrough at the beginning of this year where she acknowledged and apologized for guilt tripping me for not being around the family more, when I was (she quoted) “actually protecting myself like she should have been.”

and litcherally within the past week I was offered the job at a local boutique I interviewed with a year ago and didn’t get, and I signed an offer letter to begin work within the month. 

To say I’m happy with the way things look right now is an understatement. The world still terrifies me, but I have no choice but to carve out a sliver of its beautiful experiences for myself, and I am doing just that. It may not be perfection, but it’s pretty damn good and I’m going to do everything in my power to keep it that way and make it even better. I am living my ancestors' wildest dreams!!

for anyone reading who might be struggling right now to make things work, I hope you hold on to hope that it can get better. A beautiful life is possible even on this hell scape, even for the marginalized.

[chobbleblog]

A quick message to Goodtimeswithscar fanartists!

If you tend to draw/portray Scar in fanart with zero mobility/disability aides (wheelchair, cane, cannula, etc), or with them but in a way that pretty much disregards their existence (keeping the cane on his back at all times, making the cane purely aesthetic and not functional, treating the wheelchair like it's as light as a feather and can go anywhere, drawing cannulas but no oxygen tank, etc), I just want you to take a second and ask yourself why you portray it that way.

Scar has stated that he is ok being drawn with or without being visibly disabled, but he sees the wheelchair as a big part of himself ([LINK]). I'm not here to force anybody to do anything. But I just want you to seriously consider why you minimize or completely erase his disability. Is it just because he's a minecrafter and therefore he's not disabled in-game (debatable because when making fanart, the medium and therefore many universal constants are 100% malleable, not to mention how his disability does indeed affect his content such as when he is forced to take breaks, falls out of his chair, etc)? Or could it be that you are uncomfortable with the fact that he's disabled, or at least uncomfortable portraying/acknowledging that in your art? Could it be that you're afraid to get it wrong, don't know how, or simply don't feel like it? Please don't take this as an attack, but a small ask to consider the reasoning behind this design choice.

I do not use mobility aides as my physical disabilities would not be benefitted from them, but I am quite active in the online disabled community, and please believe me when I tell you that physical disabilities are erased enough. They are ignored and minimized enough. If you look in the comments of Scar's videos, if you look at the donations that were read during the charity event a couple of months ago, you will see so many people using mobility/disability aides (or not because they can't get them for many reasons, but need them very much) who are so encouraged by Scar doing what he does, by seeing a representation of their experience and community that they very, very rarely see (and even when they do it's in a pitying, infantilizing, or degrading way). When you draw fanart of Scar, please consider this. Please consider why you are erasing or minimizing his disability, and if you find it in your heart, please consider a design change.

There are aesthetically pleasing ways to include mobility aides. Some great ones I have seen are linked below if you want design inspiration. And plus, if nothing else, it will help you become a better artist by diversifying your experience:

[LINK] - An example animatic with a cane. While it is sometimes on his back, it's usually when he's flying (how would he use it? It makes sense for it to be put away). While he's walking it is being used properly. We don't see him walking around much since it's an animatic, but if I animated it more thoroughly, I would show that he had a clear limp, fatigue, or other difficulty walking, to avoid the "cane solely for aesthetic" interpretation.

[LINK] - An example animatic with a wheelchair, which is coincidentally the same scene. There was a fantastic one where his wheelchair transforms into a flying machine but I searched for 30 minutes and can't find it, so if someone knows the one please link it!

[LINK] [LINK] [LINK] [LINK] [LINK] - Great example drawings with wheelchairs.

[LINK] [LINK] - Drawings with canes.

P.S. all of this goes for writing and other non-visual forms of fanart too!! I see him written disabled even less often than I see him drawn disabled.

Thank you for reading all of this. I hope it helps somebody.

[gftimelord]

Greetings!

I am Dr. Stanford Pines, you may call me 'Ford' or simply 'Doctor'. I suppose it is about time I explore the World Wide Web, or the 'Internet'. There is much I still have to learn and figure out since returning to this dimension.

It seems I have fallen quite out of touch for the most part during the thirty years I was gone. It's frankly very impressive and jarring to see how so much has changed so I might take some time for me to properly adjust but I digress.

I travel through plenty of dimensions with my brother Stanley quite often to further my research. Nothing we can't handle now that Cipher is out of the picture so I will continue adventuring and learning.

I am glad to be of acquaintance to you all!

Ad astra per aspera

- Dr. Stanford Pines

OOC: HAHA- Here's a Ford blog because I genuinely couldn't help myself. My main blog is @matrixbearer2024! This Stanford Pines is very similar to the timelords from the Doctor Who franchise but other than that he's still pretty much the same. I'll mostly have him set post-weirdmageddon but I'm open to shifting whichever point in time for questions or RPs, have fun everyone!

P.S. Down below are insights to his character and inventory for anyone interested or planning to interact with him!

Doc's inventory:

Modified Sonic Screwdriver

Rift Manipulation: Creates and stabilizes interdimensional rifts using doors as conduits.

Wood Manipulation: Can interact with wooden objects, allowing for unlocking, modifying, or opening them.

Lock Picking: Can unlock doors and secure mechanisms electronically.

Repair Capabilities: Repairs mechanical devices, machinery, and certain types of technology.

Environmental Scanning: Gathers environmental data, hazards, such as toxins, radiation, or other dangers, detecting anomalies, and analyzing energy signatures.

Data Analysis: Capable of analyzing data from various sources and providing real-time feedback, which can be especially useful in scientific or technical situations.

Communication Device: Interfaces with various technologies for sending and receiving signals.

Universal Translator: Translates languages in real time, enabling communication across the multiverse.

Communications Device: Functions as a communicator to contact other beings or devices across dimensions.

Energy Emission and Manipulation: Emits energy pulses to create barriers, distract enemies, or manipulate technology as well as manipulating energy sources, allowing it to overload systems or temporarily disable them.

Holographic Projection: Can create holographic displays for visualization of data, theories, or environments.

Lock Picking: Bypasses and unlocks physical and digital security systems.

Thermal Regulation: Measures and adjusts temperature in different environments.

Frequency Manipulation: Disrupts or enhances certain technologies by emitting sounds at specific frequencies.

Medical Functions: Provides advanced diagnostics and medical support, which is due to Doc’s preparedness(paranoia) for unforeseen events. (e.g. scanning for vital signs, diseases, and medical conditions; performing rudimentary medical diagnostics and suggest treatments; minor surgical procedures, such as suturing wounds; administering certain medications or injections in emergencies)

Forcefield Manipulation: Can activate and control protective barriers or shields, adding a layer of defense in dangerous situations.

Data Storage & Retrieval: Stores information and interacts with databases, making it a powerful tool for research.

Manipulation of Atoms: Using the power of the infinity die, Doc’s sonic screwdriver can manipulate the energy within atoms of entities that have a tangible, alterable form. This ability allows him to rearrange or shift the physical properties of objects or beings.

Weaponized Function: Can shoot energy blasts, though this function was originally designed as a laser for electronic tinkering.

Time Manipulation: Has limited abilities to manipulate time within a localized area, such as slowing down or speeding up the perception of time for specific objects or people.

Emergency Beacon: Can emit distress signals to call for help or alert allies in emergencies.

Multi-Purpose Tool: Serves as a general tool for tinkering, adjusting mechanisms, and solving puzzles, which aligns with Doc's analytical nature and creativity.

Repair Box

Immortality: A set of nanobots that constantly repairs and heals injuries, rendering Doc functionally immortal. While he cannot die from age or illness, fatal wounds can still kill him.

Healing Factor: Non-fatal wounds heal rapidly, which allow the Doctor to recover quickly from injuries that would otherwise incapacitate others.

Phantom Pain: He experiences phantom pain from time to time, a side effect of the repair box, which sometimes immobilizes him during particularly bad days.

Journal & Pen

Eidetic Memory: While Doc has a photographic memory, he carries a journal where he records his travels, discoveries, and reflections. This is partly an emotional release and partly a way to process the things he can never forget.

Personal Reflections: His journal also contains musings, sketches, and insights into his more philosophical thoughts, which he tends to keep private.

Zygon Force Field Device

Personal Shield: A portable device that creates a personal force field around the doctor which protects him from the worst injuries in moments of danger.

Camouflage: For a temporary time, the advanced zygon technology refracts and manipulates light to turn Doc invisible to the naked eye. This can be activated and disabled manually.

Limited Durability: Though powerful, the forcefield can only take so much damage at a time before it needs to recharge.

Advanced Medical Kit

Comprehensive: This kit contains emergency medical supplies, medications, and advanced tools for situations where the repair box might not immediately be enough. The doctor’s paranoia drives him to always be prepared.

Multiverse Map

Hand-drawn: A rough sketch and collection of dimensions he’s visited or studied, filled with notes about potential dangers and anomalies.

OOC: Does Doc carry a phone with him? Nope! Thinks it's something redundant because of his sonic being able to act as a communicator at a rudimentary level. Granted, you're not going to get stellar audio or video quality from something like that, but it works throughout the multiverse so Doc doesn't bother. If you plan on having an OC or other character meet him through this route, it could be as a transmission to his sonic!

Doc's Appearance:

Since the time he received the repair box, Doc has been biologically frozen in a state where his physical body remains in its 40s.

Doc is standing tall at 6'2", no different from most iterations of his canon counterparts.

His coat the the same as the one he already uses in post-canon gravity falls, that hasn't changed aesthetically.

The doctor sports a suit because if he's going to kick butt might as well do it in style, he also switches between neck-ties and bow-ties because bow-ties are cool.

He wears sneakers instead of his boots since those had worn down and broken sometime during his travels and sneakers are just generally easier to replace.

Underneath all his dress-up though he's covered in scars from past battles and his old tattoos that he'd never had the time to get rid of.

His glasses still have a crack in them, mostly because he couldn't be bothered to get a new pair of bifocals anyway.

Always clean shaven, yes he still shaves his face with fire that has never changed.

Key Quotes About Doc:

"You don't need to look like a monster to be one."

"HAHAHAHA- I just SNOGGED Madame de Pompadour!"

"ALLONS-Y!"

"This apple sucks I hate apples-"

"Laptop. Gimme!"

"Who da man?! ..... Oh, well I'm never saying that again."

"Immortality isn't living forever that's not what it feels like. Immortality is everybody else dying because you can't."

"Goodness is not goodness that seeks advantage. Good is good in the deepest pit without hope, without witness, without reward. Virtue is only virtue in extremis."

"Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones, but you still have to choose."

"The day you lose someone isn't the worst. At least you've got something to do. It's all the days they stay dead."

"Pain is a gift. Without the capacity for pain we can't feel the hurt we inflict."

"There's a lot of things you need to get across this universe. Warp drive, wormhole refractors. You know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold."

"Love is not an emotion. It's a promise."

"The universe is big. It’s vast and complicated and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles."

"Some people live more in 20 years than others do in 80. It’s not the time that matters, it’s the person."

"I’m the doctor, and I save people."

"First thing’s first, but not necessarily in that order."

"You want weapons? We're in a library! Books! Best weapons in the world!"

"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint— it’s more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly… time-y wimey… stuff."

"I’m about to do something very clever and a tiny bit against the rules of the multiverse. It’s important that I’m properly dressed."

"Arrogance can trip you up.��

"Do what I do: Hold tight and pretend it’s a plan!"

"You’ll find that it’s a very small universe when I’m angry with you."

See the bowtie? I wear it and I don’t care. That’s why it’s cool."

"Big flashy things have my name written all over them. Well… not yet. Give me time and a crayon."

"Never cruel or cowardly. Never give up, never give in.”

"Rest is for the weary, sleep is for the dead.”

"You don’t want to take over the universe. You wouldn’t know what to do with it beyond shout at it."

"Never be certain of anything. It’s a sign of weakness."

"Courage isn’t just a matter of not being frightened, you know. It’s being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway."

“Why do humans never do as they’re told? Someone should replace you all with robots. No, on second thought, they shouldn’t, bad idea.”

"You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common: they don’t alter their views to fit the facts; they alter the facts to fit their views.”

[spacebarbarianweird]

Asking specifically for chronically ill/chronically fatigued Tav?

I have Myalgic Encephalomyelitis or Chronic Fatigue and amongst many other symptoms like low energy and crashes, I'm really sensitive to sunlight and loud stimuli.

I think it'd be cute if when the tadpole was removed, all her symptoms came flooding back, and on a mutual decision, they decided to move to the Underdark with the freed spawns and it's so much better low sensory for Tav! 😍😍😍

Love your work, take your time!

Hi! This HCs has been in my drafts for ages (I started to write it a few times but never finised). Thanks for @warmteaslibrary for insights!

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion x Chronically ill!Tav

Your adventure has not been easy, but quite bearable.

Until the very end.

The wave of necrotic damage murders you on the spot and you remember nothing but blissful darkness.

You are revived - the Jergal's last blessing before he leaves the Prime for good.

You wake up cradled in Astarion's arms as he cries and whispers the words of love.

But you can feel nothing but pain.

Your body remembers being killed.

It remembers the skull being broken, the limbs being torn, and the skin being burnt.

The tadpole is gone but your mind has a new master.

Pain.

Physically, you are healthy but you are constantly exhausted and depressed.

Your brain barely functions, and your memory worsens.

You constantly cry, even though you try your best not to.

You expect Astarion to leave - you are no longer the person you once were. You are a wreck, almost disabled.

You can't even walk on your own sometimes let alone helping him with his sun-sensitivity.

But Astarion doesn't go.

Together you settle down in the outskirts of Baldur's Gate, somewhere Astarion's condition won't get too much attention.

When it's so bad you can't move Astarion touches you gently and assures you he isn't going anywhere, and he will always be here with you.

Astarion never says it's all right and it's going to be better.

He knows your condition is hardly improving.

Astarion helps you to find things you can enjoy, and that won't require too much physical activity.

With the return of vampiric powers, he carries you in his arms when you can't walk anymore.

The thing that brings you pleasure is bathing.

Warm water takes your pain away. Astarion washes your skin, and massages your sore limbs.

You often spend time in the bathtub together - Astarion wraps his hands around you and reads you aloud.

Actually, you've never been a bookish person - you were a fighter, a traveler...

But no more.

Reading brings you a lot of comfort. It doesn't require any physical activity, and books take you places, making you forget the pain.

Especially when Astarion goes away - hunting or working with supernatural contracts (so many stupid people, so many dangerous deals, so much money a former magistrate can make).

What surprises you sometimes as sharp as his tongue is he never makes fun of your state and never complains.

He also brings home healers from time to time but their spells have a temporary effect.

During long sunny days when you are both locked inside, you sometimes wonder if it ever gets better. Will the pain ever go away?

Astarion shrugs.

"I once asked the same about my inability to walk in the sunlight. What did you tell me?"

"That I would stay with you regardless?"

"Yes. That's my answer. I am not going anywhere."

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96 @locallegume @brainfullofhotsauce @coffeeanddonutscafe 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my friend I don't want to play DND with her?

I (17M) am a player in a Dungeons and Dragons campaign (NOTE: it is not actually DND, I am just saying it for simplicity's sake. If anything sounds off, that's why. Either way, it's TTRPG, and both games have the same system, although they aren't anywhere near similar to DND gameplay-wise. It's very roleplay focused.) with a few of my friends (all 17-20F: Viola, Korrina, Valerie, and Olympia). Viola is our DM, and I have so much fun every time we play, with no intents on quitting because of this.

Olympia just like... fucking sucks though, to be honest? Like, I just hate playing with this chick. She's always asking for extra bonuses on rolls because she's just such a good player (no one else does it, Viola allows it though), she actively started PVP with me, she physically disabled my character in said PVP and I had to do chaos control (I did not want to have my character be disabled, if I did I would have a disabled character, but I failed a roll against her in this fight so I had to have my character go on a side-quest to fix it: I would be more fine with it if it was Viola, but another player? Really?), and she's just not really funny when she talks about the campaign outside of the sessions (I know, it's a little personal). She gets really upset when we mention this one thing we all like to the point of taking inspiration from it for characters and NPCs because she doesn't get it but she refuses to try the thing so we just have to not talk about it with her, and overall she just... isn't enjoyable to be around.

I know I'm gonna have people in the comments say "just tell her that you don't like her now! You sound awful, you should quit," etc etc, but hear me out. I am a player. Since the DM is Viola, and Olympia and Viola are having fun, I don't feel like I should say anything. It's the DM's story, and as a mere character in the story I can't have any say in the format, especially since I was the one that invited Olympia to the group (I made a casual offer to my whole friend group over a school group chat and both Olympia and Korrina responded, so I had to include both of them), and we've been playing this campaign since August.

One of our players had to cancel on us a week ago as of writing this, and so I decided to run a oneshot based off of a campaign I've been wanting to do (first time DMer, I wanted to try it out). The players were Viola, Korrina, and Olympia, and it was actually really fun! I wanted to wait for Viola's campaign to end before I actually started playing my campaign, but that wasn't going to happen in a while, so I had decided to run it then.

I don't want Olympia anywhere near my actual campaign, though. I'm planning on letting my friend (Drasna, 18F) join, as well as anyone else who shows interest, along with Viola, Korrina, and Valerie. But as you may know, Olympia is insufferable to me, and as DM I feel like I have the right to deny her from playing with me.

She still played in the oneshot though, and was... very excited for it. I am aware I am the only one with beef here. Olympia keeps on PMing me about her character, asking about the world, and she's really interested in the world and the format of it. Her character's nice even if a little similar to one of the main plot NPCs I have, but as I've mentioned, I really want to cut her out when the campaign gets rolling. The only reason I couldn't for the oneshot is because we are actively in the middle of a campaign and everyone would think I'm being weird and things would be tense for the rest of the campaign. I can't just tell Olympia to her face "hey, I hate playing with you actually. Go home, fuck off."

I feel like I treated Olympia fairly when we played (she didn't do anything drastic, at least), but I don't know how my negative feelings on her are going to impact the campaign. I don't want to have an inbalance in the characters and how they're treated.

AITA for leading her on to make sure things don't get awkward during Viola's campaign, even though I have no intent of changing my mind on not having her as a player?

What are these acronyms?

[stephofromcabin12]

I’ve spoken positively about National Novel Writing Month before and so I am sad to have to take it all back.

If you’re not aware, NaNoWriMo recently endorsed the use of generative AI in writing practices, and their statement even went as far as to say that anti-AI views are “classist” and and “ableist”.

There is no ethical use for generative AI, as we speak. Using AI, even for something as simple as rephrasing an email or generating a profile picture, means that you’re actively using thousands of stolen works, a lot of which are copyrighted and/or protected in some way. (That’s why most companies behind generative AI’s are currently facing multiple lawsuits from various artists and companies who’ve found their work was used to train the AI models without their consent and without promise of compensation)

I’m an artist. I’m a writer. I cannot in any way endorse generative AI as long as it’s built on stolen artwork by my fellow artists, and possibly even myself. There is no world in which using generative AI makes you an artist. Currently, it just makes you complacent in art theft at worst and lazy at best.

It’s not classist to say that, and it’s not ableist either. Lot’s of writers and artists have physical or mental disabilities and/or come from a middle-to-low-class background. Your financial standing, and whether or not you’re disabled, does not define your ability to create art, as so many incredible artists throughout history have proven by continuing to make art on their own terms. I used to say that there’s no wrong way to make art. I was wrong. Generative AI proved me wrong.

The statement specifically emphasized AI as a way to get proofreading and editing done without needing to pay for a professional editor. But beta-readers have always existed for this very reason; it’s just another human connection AI seeks to eliminate in the name of “efficiency”.

There are books on editing that can be found and read in libraries, if you don’t have money to buy them. There are articles and videos made by actual experts in their field that can be found for free. I trust them far more than whatever botched mosaic of words AI spits out, which might not even be remotely correct, as most AI models openly allow errors.

So, my point is: Don’t use NaNoWriMo.

There are other ways to track your progress. There are other places to find community and writing groups. There are far better ways of creating art that won’t compromise the ethics of being an artist and, most likely, the law.

It sucks that I have to say this. It sucks that NaNoWriMo apparently has had a nosedive in it’s quality and moral standings that was steep enough that nearly all their employees quit.

But that’s where we are now, apparently. And so that’s where I stand.

That’s all.

[defectivegembrain]

Okay so the first day of the transition event was interesting. Like two of the student wellbeing staff remembered me from undergrad, another one from the neurodivergent group I used to go to near home, and also my former therapist was there accompanying her son! I am Known to people in the local mental health scene lol.

They took some of us in a group to finish registration and get our smartcards, which made it easier to cope with. I had a bit of a hard time afterwards because I was worrying if I'd scanned mine properly and then someone chatting to me asked about living in halls and the worry and homesickness combined to overwhelm me. But I sat in a quieter space for a while and then I felt better.

I ended up staying for some of the social activity part, which was a choice between pottery painting and a scavenger hunt around the city. Obviously I picked the painting, and I painted a pen pot with a picture of a black cat, like Podge because I miss her. I was worried about the social aspect of it before, but I ended up at the quiet table lol, like literally none of us spoke except when staff came round to chat. And focusing on the painting calmed me down a bit.

And even though I didn't really socialise, I feel a little less out of place now from spending time with the others. A lot of other people were visibly quite awkward and didn't initiate conversations, some people stimming, some people were also physically disabled and someone had a service dog. And I met someone who was coming back after having to leave, so I told them I had time off in undergrad too and that people are very welcoming when you come back. I hope it came across the right way.

[hiiragi7]

(Warning for discussion of abuse)

There is a certain ableist and classist feel to the way that a lot of people talk about highschool education and graduation that I've noticed. "I bet they never graduated highschool" is often used as an insult and to imply stupidity, for example. I've noticed this trend for a long time, but struggled to put it into words.

While education is important, I often feel very put down by the amount of emphasis placed on being a highschool graduate (and, on the opposite end, the disdain for non-graduates). I never graduated, due to a variety of factors; I suffered very extreme abuse starting in first grade from the school environment (As a diagnosed autistic kid growing up in SPED in the 2000s, ABA was the standard), I was being abused at home, I moved schools a lot, I struggle with several disabilities which impacted my ability to learn and developmentally I was never really at the same level as my peers besides in English and art, I developed chronic physical issues while I was still in school due to a genetic condition, and finally, I was kicked out of the house when I was 17 by my parents and I just never ended up going back to school (not that I could have graduated anyway due to a variety of issues).

I was never able to learn quite right and that lead to me falling further and further behind. By the time I was in middle school, I was already so far behind my peers that even if my teachers had wanted to help me learn the content, there was so much they would have had to teach me that it would have been impossible for them to fit it into the time I had with them, especially when they had a lot of other students to attend to besides me. On top of that, I had already given up on my own education sometime during elementary school, so any attempts that were made by my teachers were not well-received by me. I had already developed a complex web of trauma responses to anything to do with school by that point.

It seemed that I was caught in an impossible situation where between the trauma I suffered with and my autism, I could not tolerate even being in a classroom setting, much less learn in it, but there were no other options, which lead to chronic activation of trauma responses which overwhelmed both me and my teachers as well as everyone else in my life. There was also no understanding for me in these settings either, and nobody informed enough to realize what was going on with me and why I was constantly either shutting down and unresponsive or having severe panic attacks. Rather, I was called lazy, manipulative, not trying hard enough, making excuses, acting out for attention, and a slew of other insults as well as near-constant punishments which only served to traumatize me further.

To this day, I only have a second grade education in math. I do not know multiplication, division, algebra, physics, chemistry, and a variety of other subjects. Attempting to study school subjects gives me flashbacks no matter which method I use, whether it's online or with another person or on my own. I am gifted in English, but otherwise I do not know many of the things that people are generally taught in school as kids.

When I tell people I never graduated, often the response is "it's okay, you can still get your GED!" as if me not having graduated is a character flaw that I must eventually work to fix. It makes me feel as though my worth and value as a person is tied to whether or not I have at least a highschool education, and that without it I am less worthy of people's time.

Going back to my initial point, if not graduating highschool makes you "stupid", you must also consider who in practice is unable to graduate highschool - I find it is often disabled kids, traumatized kids, and impoverished kids. Not all of them, I'm sure, but definitely a lot of them.

Tying intellect and a person's worth to whether or not they graduated highschool fucks over those who couldn't through no real fault of their own and frames them as lesser for it. How can you say you believe in disability rights when you shit on those who are too disabled to complete school? How can you say you are against classism when you view people who could not graduate due to having to work full-time as lesser than you?

I feel that regardless of how much people insist they are an advocate (or how much they say "No no, when I said people who don't graduate are stupid I didn't mean those people, I only meant what I see as the acceptable group of non-graduates to call stupid"), there are biases at play regarding perceived intellect and formal education. I am viewed as inherently less-than when people learn I did not graduate. My lack of a highschool graduation certificate or "at least" a GED is viewed with pity by just about everyone I talk to.

I don't have a neat way to wrap up this post, but I do think it is important for people to examine their own biases when it comes to discussing formal education, as well as the overlap of non-graduates and marginalized groups, especially as it pertains to disability politics and capitalism.

[autism-autobot]

LMK Angst Fic Part 5

Author's note: I think there need to be more platonic and friendship cuddling in media and in the world, so here we are. (Definitely not touch starved nope not me!)

Part 4:

It was around three in the morning in the celestial realm. Nezha had become accustomed to sleeping beside Sun Wukong every night and had even begun to enjoy it despite the reason why they started doing it. He had always thought of Wukong as a good friend and companion, which he didn't have very many of thanks to his workaholic attitude. Him and Wukong had even become quite comfortable with each other.

Nezha was aroace and Wukong still considered himself spoken for since his previous marriage had ended in death and not divorce. So it was as platonic as could be. However, they were both touch-starved and emotionally neglected as children, so there's that.

Wukong and Nezha had grown used to falling asleep snuggled up next to each other, with limbs tangled in weird form around each other. But neither of them were exactly still while they slept, so Nezha wasn't immediately concerned when he couldn't feel Wukong next to him when he flopped his arm around beside him to try and find the monkey he'd grown so close to.

Until he heard the whimpering.

That can't be good.

Nezha bolted upright in the bed. He searched the dark room for his friend's ginger-colored fur. He found it at the edge of the bed.

After clambering over to Wukong's side he gently and quietly asked:

Nezha: Wukong, are you awake? What's the matter?

SWK: *sobbing* I-it's my head! It's hurting! It hurts so bad! Please-

Nezha: Shhhhh, Wukong. It's alright. I'm here, it's okay. You'll be okay.

Nezha had become accustomed to Wukong's post-circlet migraines and various other symptoms of Wukong's traumas. It seemed as though even after Wukong had learned to cope with the physical damage done to him, his body had not, and was therefore having it's own posttraumatic episodes.

Nezha had found ways to sooth him luckily.

Nezha laid Wukong in his original position on his side of their shared bed and put an ice pack on his forehead. He then lit some incense and lightly wafted the fumes in Wukong's direction so he could smell it. That was more to soothe the monkey's panic than anything.

After laying back down beside Wukong, Nezha wrapped an arm around his chest.

Nezha: Are you comfortable enough?

SWK: I think so.....*gasps*

Nezha: Wukong what-

SWK: Hot flash. Don't worry, it's already over. Gosh, that felt bad.

Nezha: It will be alright my friend. I am here.

SWK: Thank you. For everything.

Nezha: No problem, I quite enjoy your company. I just wish you weren't in pain as often as you are.

SWK: You and me both.

~~~

They slept for a few more hours before getting up. Sun Wukong tended to be very weak during and after a migraine, as was the design of the circlet he once wore. Nezha helped him to the downstairs living room and set him up on the couch.

SWK: Ow.

Nezha: Sorry.

SWK: Nah, it's fine. I should be the one saying sorry to you.

Nezha: Whatever do you mean by that?

SWK: You're always having to help me out with stuff and getting me out of trouble.

Nezha: That is only half true. Besides, I do not mind taking care of you.

SWK: But don't you think of me as weak for needing help like this?

Nezha: No, not really. If I did, however, I'd be the world's biggest hypocrite.

SWK: What? How so?

Nezha went into the adjacent closet and pulled out a wheelchair, it was the active kind too, unlike the bulky ones you'd find in the hospital.

Nezha: I haven't told you this before, I probably should've by now but, I guess I share similar insecurities.

Nezha: I am disabled. I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user, meaning I can walk about easily at times, while others I cannot.

Nezha: That is also why I have my fire wheels, sash, and staff. They are mobility devices. Albeit they are a bit atypical.

SWK: Cool!

Nezha: Really? You think they're cool?

SWK: Well, yeah! I think that type of stuff is pretty interesting. I get why you wouldn't exactly want to show it off though.

Nezha: Thank you. Perhaps if you are ever needing some help after a migraine or other health complication, you can use one of my many wheelchairs! I hardly use most of them anymore, it's nice to have backups. Just in case.

SWK: Thanks for the offer. Maybe I'll give one a spin after I feel a little bit better. I still feel like my head will explode if I sit up.

Nezha: Alright then. I'll park this one next to you so you can have an easy transition when you are ready.

SWK: Thanks again.

Nezha: You are quite welcome.

Part 6:

Masterpost

[letomills]

The "requests are paused until I'm done with the current ones" thing was wishful thinking (a bit like the closing statements in my last yt video 🤓) and I am once again thoroughly overwhelmed with everything.

Requests are firmly closed until further notice. I said yes to the FtM hairs for anon and the Tiggerypum tunics & iamliz13 alpha dresses for children & toddlers for the other anon (I did get the links you sent to the meshes), so I still intend to complete both.

A novel's worth of life updates under the cut (content warning for struggle with bipolar type 2, including questionable choices which should not be taken as advice).

Well over a year ago I shared that my mother was going through a really bad bipolar type 2 depression episode (looking back, mention of it in that post was very euphemistic, I must have been hopeful). The reason why I didn't give any updates after a while is that there is no satisfactory narrative that I could easily spin into words. She's not all better, she hasn't died or lost her mind for good, things have just been evolving at a snail's pace through a whole spectrum of very bleak colors. She's not fully hospitalized anymore, she lives at home with my brother and me, with day hospitalisation activities several times a week. The myriad psychiatrists that she's seen have not been able to find the "right" treatment for her, but hey, after lithium sent her into such a state of confusion that we thought she might stay mentally disabled for the rest of her life, at least now we know that's not an option. A couple days ago her psychiatrist prescribed a new antipsychotic to replace the one she'd been taking. She started the transition, and today confusion started showing its terrifying face again so she's not taking that pill tonight, or to be honest ever again unless her psychiatrist somehow manages to convince us otherwise (she'll report her symptoms and get counsel at the hospital tomorrow). Her cognition is already impaired, her short-term memory and ability to focus especially. She can't live alone, I keep and manage her pillboxes, make sure she's eating right and the stove is off, that sort of stuff. But at least, until the introduction of this new drug, she'd made considerable gains compared to when she was at her worst last winter. No way we're going back to that again.

On a more positive note, about a month and a half ago I started work at a grocery delivery place just up the street (yes that's what I'm doing with my degree in Mandarin and my master's in English-French translation studies). It's intense physically, kinda stressful, and not very well paid, but I think I like it and the people are very nice. What scares me is that my trial period ends in about 2 weeks and I'm not entirely sure that they'll want to keep me, considering I've made several mistakes and they don't seem to think that I work quite fast enough (I know I said the people were very nice, they are, that's just the job). They keep saying the work load is gonna get crazier starting in September. The way they're saying it may suggest that they do envision me as still working there in September, but maybe they're trying to push me to work faster now and if I can't prove that I'm able to they won't keep me? Well I'm already doing my best, even if sometimes I end up finding myself crying over clients' items because my brain isn't able to focus anymore and I'm messing up and wasting time.

Emotional control has been harder because I unilaterally made the decision to taper off my antidepressant. Now before you facepalm, let me flood you with all of my best questionable arguments: • I do have an appointment with my psychiatrist, the earliest date I could get was October 1st (and I may have to postpone, depending on my work hours that day which I don't know yet). • I was already on the lowest dose that you can be on. • I tapered off very slowly. • I recently talked about it with the nurse that I saw for the mandatory medical visit I had to go to because I got the new job (idk if you have that outside of France). Naturally she was alarmed that I'd been weaning myself off on my own and she convinced me to see my GP asap and not change my medication without at least his input (which yes, I know). • the reasons I did it despite knowing that it's inadvisable are: 1) obviously I haven't been feeling depressed for a while or I wouldn't have done it, 2) the amount of endorphin-producing physical exercise I get from the new job felt like it could maybe do the trick so it was worth a try, 3) seeing how much my mom's medication has messed up her cognition over the years is scary. She's been taking way higher doses of antidepressants than me, along with other stuff, over a way longer period of time, but still. I don't want to be on it if it's not strictly necessary, so I wanted to try off. • I'm still taking my antipsychotic religiously and have no intention to stop that (I can't anyway or I won't be able to sleep and I'll definitely lose the job).

My plan with the antidepressant was to space out the doses and eventually get off it entirely for several weeks before reassessing, but after seeing that nurse, I started upping again to one dose every other day. I will admit, I was having suicidal thoughts after several days off, and now it's gone. Maybe I should find having suicidal thoughts more alarming than I do, the nurse's phrasing when she asked if I did - something that could translate to "no suicidals thoughts, riiight?" - was a good reminder that suicidal thoughts are really bad to have oh no. Of course I said no, why would I want her to interfere (leave me to make decisions for my own self thank you). Anyway, the appointment with my GP is in two days. He's gonna be useless on psych stuff but I guess getting his unqualified, predictable input is the responsible thing to do in polite society. More relevantly, the nurse also told me to go see him because my blood pressure is a bit low, or at least it was at 9/6 when she saw me, so I need to have it retaken and see what's up with that if anything.

And so yes, I have a ton of CC plans as always, I am positively drowning. Beside the two requests I mentioned above the cut, one of which I need to do a lot of learning for, I picked up work on Celestialspritz's beta Vincent skins and started converting afbodykimono for the usual roaster of breasted body shapes, like I did with afbodyqipao here and would like to do with more Happy Holiday Stuff outfits in the future. Although I told myself that I would stick to the body shapes that I've already done stuff for, I now also want to make a set of clothes for Lady Apple. I also have an idea about a set of scrawny body shapes for TU-EU inspired by Mrs Crumplebottom's body shape. I know Melodie9's slim family exists but to be honest those shapes creep me out and I want to see if I can do something less uncanny (it may end up looking too similar to the Androgyny body shapes, or to Faerie Gal, or it may not pan out at all, so don't hold your breath). I also want to do a ton of hairs in FakeBlood's palette + Naberius (tbh I'm still not 100% sure if I like Timebomb or Naberius more for my aliens, I need to figure that out once and for all). And of course I want to do more FtM & MtF hair conversions once I know how to do it well enough. There's a billion smaller projects I'd like to insert in between those, outfit conversions for one or a couple body shapes, repurposing of older meshes, a set of nude "outfits" for all the body shapes I do, etc.

[housethemd]

Inlet

(House/Wilson, pre-relationship, loosely set in S2. This will be cross posted to my AO3, where I am WhiskeyRose1)

There are very few physical activities House can still do. After the infarction they had to trade golf weekends for movie marathons, tennis night for bowling night, and lunch break runs for a seat in the cafeteria.

Except for one Tuesday every month. On the third Tuesday of the month the local YMCA pool has a free swim from 2-3:30pm. Lord only knows why, because by that time the housewives and their toddlers have left for nap time, it’s too late in the afternoon for the usual lunch break crowd, and the after school rush hasn’t started yet. It means that the pool is practically deserted.

That’s how Wilson talked House into going. Never mind the plethora of benefits that being in water has for House. While he would never say it, Wilson knows that floating in the tepid water eases the ache in his ruined thigh as well as the aches he never talks about. His hips, his back, his shoulder, all take additional strain due to his disability and the weightlessness of the pool eases the pressure.

They have the changing room to themselves, and they strip down in front of one another with the ease that over a decade of friendship brings. Wilson’s swimsuit is a simple pair of black swim shorts, while House’s are neon yellow with black flames up the legs. House’s are also board shorts, instead of falling just below mid-thigh like Wilson’s, House’s bathing suit touches his knees.

Wilson remembers going to the beach together in the early days of their friendship. House always wore these bright red, 6 inch inseam trunks. They came well above mid-thigh, showing off his muscular legs. Back then House was incredibly physically active and his years of lacrosse, rowing, cheerleading, and running showed on his physique. Wilson was no slump physically, but the looks he got were nothing compared to the number of heads House turned - female and male alike.

They hose off in the provided showers, getting themselves nice and wet before entering the pool area. Wilson watches the water sluice down House’s bare chest and wishes he could make House see how attractive he still is. Sure his body is more lithe than it used to be, but he’s still well put together with broad shoulders giving way to a slim waist and narrow hips. He’s no less attractive at 46 than he was at 33 when they met. House wears his age well. The salt and pepper of his hair distinguishes him, his scruffy look giving him a care free air, and of course he still has those huge bright blue eyes that threaten to steal your soul if you stare into them for too long.

Once they are sufficiently soaked Wilson offers his arm to House. He takes it, let’s Wilson take some of his weight as they make the slow walk from the men’s change room to the pool. The floors are wet and slick and even though House’s blue water shoes give him a little traction they still take their time, lest either of them slip. He still can’t quite believe he talked House into wearing the water shoes. House had balked against them when Wilson first bought them for him after their first pool trip, citing that only old people and toddlers wore water shoes at a pool. After some very blunt words about how like it or not House was a fall risk due to uneven balance, he’d slipped them on wordlessly the next month.

They walk until they are at the edge of the deep end. House finds it easier to walk poolside until they hit the deep end, then slide off the edge into the water, as opposed to trying to walk through the shallower water until it’s deep enough for swimming. Wilson supports House as he lowers himself to sit at the edge, feet dangling into the water.

Wilson retrieves a pool noodle from the bin near the lifeguard station and tosses it in the water before diving in himself.

When he surfaces he shakes the water from his face and hair like a dog, making House laugh from where he is still perched on the edge. Wilson always expects more of a shock when he hits the water, but the pool is kept at a comfortable 85 degrees. Once he’s stopped laughing House pushes himself off the ledge and into the water, momentarily disappearing beneath its surface. When he bobs back up Wilson passes him the pool noodle. House slides it underneath his waist and lays back. House is heavy enough that his body still sinks beneath the water but provides enough buoyancy that he can float without having to move his limbs to much.

Wilson swims laps for a while, as House floats leisurely. Wilson pauses periodically to observe him. His eyes are closed as he lets the ripples of water push him around. Every few minutes he checks his surroundings and if he is nearing a wall or the shallow end he’ll kick his good leg and use his arms to gain enough momentum to float in a different direction.

When Wilson is satisfied with the number of laps he’s done he’ll climb out to grab his own pool noodle and he and House will float side by side. They talk about nothing in the way only old friends can. House says something rude and Wilson splashes him in the face. This evolves into more and more aggressive splashing until the lifeguard has to tell them to settle down. Wilson looks appropriately chastised but House just smirks.

Nearing the end of their extended lunch break, they make their way out of the pool. House stands on his good leg on the ladder out of the pool and uses his arms to push himself back onto the tile floor outside. Wilson scurries out after him to help him stand. They make their way back into the change room and go through the same motions as when they arrived but in reverse.

When they make their way back out to Wilson’s Volvo, both with hair still damp, Wilson can’t help but notice how House moves a little easier. He always does after an hour in the pool. Wilson wishes he could get House to do this more regularly. The university campus has a gym with a pool, and faculty gets in for free. There is no reason why House couldn’t be swimming a few times a week, but Wilson knows being seen by his peers needing support is what keeps him from going.

So Wilson will keep bringing him to the deserted free swim at the YMCA, where he can lean on Wilson’s arm and wear his water shoes without fear of his colleagues losing respect for him.