#but i am not trans so feel free to yell at me if i'm being stupid <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[genderqueerdykes]

okay i’ve been wondering about this for a while. i’ve seen a lot of fandom discourse that headcanoning a character who’s commonly accepted as transfem in fandom as a genderweird trans in all directions nb person is transfem erasure. is this true? i haven’t really thought so‚ but i might just be biased as a nb transmasc myself. (common examples include john egbert)

hello there, thanks for stopping by!

i am definitely the wrong person to ask about this, i am very sorry. i do not participate in fandom at all, i don't engage with much fiction and when i do, i don't get into it that much. my brain doesn't really latch on to fiction like it did when i was a kid. i still play games and watch anime here and there but i don't interact with fandoms, so i apologize for that. i find them to be genuinely uncomfortable and unsafe environments to be in due to being intersex and biracial. fandom spaces unfortunately tend to be extremely racist & intersexist. i had friends who were heavily involved in fandom as a teenager and i felt very unsafe due to the sheer amount of fetishiziation of intersex bodies that goes on in fandom spaces.

this is simply an outsider's perspective, but i don't really see fandoms as "representation" that can be "erased" because it's all conjecture and everyone has such wildly different opinions on what a character is or is not. it's not representation if it's not confirmed. if it's just a headcanon it's not representation, as it was not confirmed and thus is conjecture and speculation. i might be wildly off base as an outsider, but i always kinda thought the point of fandom was for everyone to express how they interact with that piece of media uniquely, and spread and share their thoughts and opinions? why are people trying to control how other people interact with a piece of fiction that they did not make...?

that seems antithetical to the idea of fandom. i thought it was supposed to be a fun hobby? again maybe i just *don't* get it as an outsider, but it makes no sense to me to try to control someone else's internal opinion on something that quite literally is not real. like at the end of the day none of these people are real, you can't hurt their feelings you're not 'erasing' anyone here, they're literally not real, and if it's only a headcanon that that person is transfem... then you're not. erasing. a transfem character, it's just conjecture. it doesn't matter what gender or sexuality you see them as because you're free to think and feel those ways in your head. you're allowed to engage in those thought experiments because that person quite literally is not real so it's okay to speculate on their identity. it's not okay to do this to another live person but if they're fictional who... cares?

this may sound really harsh but i need to stress to people that fictional characters are not real human beings, and stressing out over their genders or sexuality does nothing to help you. you can't hurt their feelings. you can't erase a transfem that isn't confirmed to be transfem. a headcanon is just that: a personal opinion. it shouldn't come to the point where it causes distress and fighting. this is a hobby, it is not one's entire life. i would recommend just blocking and not engaging with people who try to police how you interact with leisure behaviors. i don't think there's one true way to be "Right" about these kinds of things because it's literally all conjecture

also sorry, i have no idea who that character is! i don't know very many fictional characters by name so i can't lend any input there, apologies. for the future, if anyone is curious about my feelings on these sorts of things about other characters, i unfortunately cannot help you as there's a near 100% chance i am not familiar with them and can't lend any input

how can an opinion be right or wrong ... ? that just doesn't make sense to me. it's all opinion. it's not worth hurting other people over or yelling at each other. i'm sorry that i can't give you a more informed opinion, but i thought maybe an outsider's perspective could help somewhat. i hope this is somewhat informative or helpful to you at all- i honestly don't think it's right for people to try to control each others' headcanons because that is quite literally thought policing and i am not here for that. anyway, take care of yourself! thanks for stopping by :)

[lala-blahblah]

HMM uglies movie thoughts again. I like Laverne cox and I think she slayed as Doctor Cable, and I don't want to say this was a bad casting decision. But I will say that being familiar with her as a person , knowing she is a trans woman, and seeing her playing a character whose storyline is trying to force kids to get a surgery feels like it plays into right wing trans fearmongering in a kind of icky way? And I don't think this was intentional at all! I don't know if I'd even go so far as to say that this was a bad casting choice because in some ways it's empowering to see a trans women held up as an ideal beauty standard. But it's something I ended up thinking about the whole movie and I feel like it undermined the narrative it was trying to share.

On a more positive note, the uglies universe is a really interesting one to look at when it comes to trans folks though because they for sure would be allowed and accepted, and I don't think anybody would think twice about it. Its a future where everyone is expected to go through a major surgery anyway, like the pretty committee wouldn't care if you wanted more feminine features or masculine features or whatever, as long as you let them mess with your brain and turn you obedient they're happy! Which is kind of ideal for trans folks (minus brain washing of coursee). And the surgery isn't even fully a bad thing in the series. The Uglies universe is interesting because at first it really emphasizes how messed up beauty standards are and has commentary on intense plastic surgery just to like yourself. But (spoilers!) Tally never undoes the surgery afterwards. Like it happened but the focus is regaining her mind and her clarity, she never returns to her old face (and in a way she can't go back because she's changed too much on the inside anyway). So it's not like "in order to be your true self you must remain looking like you were" it's like "your true self is your thoughts and your appearance shouldn't define you" which to me still allows for room for that trans interpretation

Even after they "win" and stop the forced surgeries, in the following "extras" book that's set around a different character, people continue to get surgeries all the time, it's just more customizable and up to them. So body modifications are very normalized. I think there's nuance to it of course and there is still that underlying body horror element of all these crazy surgeries, but I do think it's neat to see a dystopian future that doesn't exclude queer expression. I think it would be interesting to follow a trans character in this universe... maybe not written by scott westerfeld but like, if a trans person has their oc and wants to write a little fanfic. I would read it.

[deerboybreeder]

LONG fucking fantasy below the cut whoops. Tw for rape, drugging and stalking ♥️

I move to a small town in the middle of nowhere to completely restart my life. The community is small and tight knit, but thankfully extremely accepting, so me being trans is a non issue! Or at least, people have the decency to not say anything about it to my face. I feel welcomed in this town, though I spend a lot of my time improving the patch of land I moved onto and less talking to residents, even though I've met nearly everyone.

I start getting letters in the mail, complimenting me in sweet, flowery language. It makes me feel special, but there's no return address, so I can't write back. But over time, the letters get more possessive. Once, the letter describes my body fairly graphically, in all the most complimenting ways, but it's clear they saw me working shirtless in my garden, tits free to the wind. My land is huge and fenced in, someone would have to have jumped my fence and gotten very close without my noticing to see me doing that.

I start spending a little less time at home and more time in town, hoping to make some connections to keep my mind off my "secret admirer", who started recently describing how beautiful and motherly of a man I would make swollen with his baby. I don't tell anyone about it, embarrassed by the content, and the fact that despite the obvious escalation, it makes me wet to think about all this attention. I'm not beloved by the town, but I make a few good friends.

One day, a year to the day I moved into town, a package shows up at my door. Its from my secret admirer, a very small bottle of wine with a letter attached. Praising all my accomplishments this year, in detail, in order. Singing my praises and wishing for even more in the upcoming year. Against my better judgement, I accept, and take the wine inside.

I generally am a lightweight when it comes to alcohol- I learned that recently, out with friends at the local bar. One had bought me a drink and I needed help home afterwards, and the friend that bought me the round felt so badly about my state he walked me home himself. But I had nothing else to do that day, so I poured myself a glass anyway.

I don't drink often, so I didn't recognize right away that something was wrong. Didn't notice that I was fading in and out of consciousness on the couch until one moment I was watching a documentary on wilderness survival, and the next it was about space travel. My body was heavy, I could barely move, so the couch would have to do that night.

I almost chalked it up to overindulgence when my front door opened.

It was a small town- I had no reason to lock my door. Even my secret admirer hadn't made mention of wanting to break in, just lamented that they couldn't work up the courage to approach me first. But apparently, this was how they chose to do it.

I yelled, a slurred and disoriented thing. Time was runny, and I didn't even have time to process running before they were on me. A mask, sunglasses and a ball cap obscured my attackers face, hair seeming meticulously tucked into the cap to further obscure their identity.

I tried to struggle, but I'm small and they're much bigger- not to mention the wine that I realize must've been drugged. They shush me, clearly altering their voice so I wouldn't know who they are- small town, after all.

They pull up my shirt, tangling me in it and covering my face so I can't see them. Everything is running together, and at some point they've taken my pants off too, Im lying naked before them. Everything narrows down to sensations that run together. A mouth sucking on my nipple, my attackers hands running reverently down my body. They're murmuring words I can't understand because my head is swimming from the spiked drink. Their fingers find my wet and waiting slit, and they thumb over my tdick, and despite myself I make a strangled noise.

Then, I am aware of their cock at my entrance, and I get another burst of fighting, but it's useless. They shush me, kissing the side of my face through the fabric of the shirt around my face, and promise to be gentle as they push themself into my dripping cunt. They moan openly into my ear, muffled by the shirt, and start playing with my tits while they rape me.

Everything is blurry, I keep slipping in and out of consciousness, only to wake up and find that they're still fucking me. They whisper praises, saying they wish they'd done this a year ago when I first moved in, how much of a tease I was working in my garden shirtless or changing in front of the window. How we were going to be so happy together, how excited they were to realize I had a womb they could fill. How they'd start with one, but they knew I would look heavenly round and heavy with their baby for the rest of my life.

I don't know how much time passed, them using my pliant body like a cocksleeve. They were mostly true about being gentle, aside from the bruising on my hips where they held me down. They came against my waiting cervix at least once, but it all ran together for me. After cumming inside me, they gently rubbed my stomach over my womb, scratching the trail of dark hair that sprouted over the year taking testosterone.

I wanted to cry, but they stayed inside me growing soft for a while, gently fondling me or kissing my body. Eventually, I blacked out entirely.

The next morning I couldn't pretend it was a dream- I was left tangled up in my clothes, though a blanket from my room was draped over me and my TV turned off. My cunt was sore and I had the world's worst hangover. I stumbled to the shower and tried not to throw up.

I didn't want to be alone, so after my chickens were fed I went down to the friends house who helped me home that night. He had been so kind, and we'd started getting close. He had even dismissed a mutual friend making a joke about taking advantage of me the night he helped me home- he'd just helped me to my bed and left. I could trust him.

He knew something was off the moment he saw me, and ushered me inside. He got me water from his fridge, and sat down with me to let me talk.

I told him everything. First about the rape that night, then elaborating to the stalker in tears. He looked horrified, and let me sob in his arms. He was so kind to me, so good to me. I told him I didn't want to be alone. He offered to move in with me for a little while, to make sure nothing else happened. I agreed immediately, and he started packing up his things right that second.

His time spent moved in was nice. I got up early for my chickens and garden, but somehow he was always up earlier, making me coffee and breakfast. Some days he even watered my plants for me, just to be kind. He was sweet, always there to support me. He slept on the couch with no complaints, and even held me close when a noise outside had me convinced the stalker was going to break down the now locked door and rape me again.

The admirers notes slowed. They first were promises of coming back again, to see my "beautiful fertile body" up close again. Then threats when my friend moved in. Then nothing. I thought the nightmare was over.

I had chalked up the throwing up to a traumatic response and the drugs working their way out of my system. When it continued I didn't think much of it. Attributed the weight gain to my friend fussing over me and making sure I ate well. But the slightly round look of my stomach unsettled me, so I bit the bullet and took a pregnancy test.

Positive.

I was in hysterics when I saw the lines, and my friend ran into the room asking if I was hurt. I just shook my head and showed him the test, and he took me into his arms. We both know by this point it was too late to abort in the state this town was in, and travel costs put it out of the question if I could go out of state to have it done.

My friend assured me that it would be alright. That he'd help me through this. That he'd even help me raise the baby if I didn't want to be a single father.

Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones, maybe it was the kindness he'd shown me this past month or two. Maybe it was the way he looked up at me, having knelt down in front of me to make his promise of support. But I kissed him. I had fallen in love with this man, who'd taken care of me in my time of greatest need. And with the way he kissed me back, he'd fallen for me too.

It was like a switch was flipped, like he had been holding back this entire time. I invited him into my bed, and every night his hands were on me. I loved the way he felt, so happy to have someone else touch me after what happened. Every touch was adoring and reverent, he made me feel like a prince. Id beg him to cum deep inside me and breed me, and he'd get a look in his eyes when he pounded my cunt. It helped me pretend it was his baby growing inside me, especially when he'd put his hand on my growing stomach protectively.

Our relationship moved quickly. We were dating for only three months when he proposed to me, but it felt like three years. Gladly I accepted, and it took only two months to set up the wedding. He handled everything, insistent I just relax because he didn't want to stress out the baby. I was heavily pregnant at our wedding, and I heard a few murmurs about it being a shotgun wedding. I let them gossip- I hadn't told anyone about my attack, and I didn't care if they thought we were just getting married because I got knocked up. My husband and I knew the truth.

Those final few months were hard, but my wonderful husband took such good care of me. Doted on me hand and foot, took care of the chickens entirely, and with winter setting in soon I didn't need to tend the garden at all. This loving wonderful man cared for me through every stage of this unwanted pregnancy and turned it into the start of a beautiful life. It was like a scene out of a romance novel.

My labor was hard, but he was there through it all. Fussing over me and ensuring I got the best care. It hurts beyond words, the baby huge and heavy, but I managed. A sweet baby girl.

He was overjoyed. The next two months spent in a sleepy newborn haze, of course. But he was always there, at my side. He cooked dinner, kept the house tidy, watched the baby as I tended the chickens, our main income aside from a few residuals from some old novel he wrote years ago. He didn't even ask for sex, knowing I was healing, even if I wanted to regardless of doctors orders. But we waited.

The anniversary of the attack came and went, and he held me through my sobs. Reminded me that even if the experience was horrible, we had our beautiful daughter, and our beautiful relationship, because of it. And he was right. I was able to leave it behind.

As time wore on, he continued to be an amazing husband. Attentive in daily life, wonderful to our child, and absolutely fantastic in bed.

Nights spent after the baby was sleeping entwined in each other. His cock buried to the hilt in my needy cunt, his mouth on my heavy milky tits. Some nights, id let him take Polaroid photos of me impaled on his cock, or sucking him off, or stroking my tdick as his cum leaked out of me. I never saw where he kept them, but the idea that my body was so important to him he kept photos around made me feel good and loved. I never needed to ask with him, he somehow always knew what I needed, and I was often marked with hickies along my body from him. He said he was claiming every part of me.

A few months into summer, I felt off again. This time I didn't wait, and took a pregnancy test right away. Positive again. We weren't trying explicitly, but we weren't preventing it either, especially not with how I begged him to breed me every night. I told him, and he was overjoyed. I felt like I was in a fairy tale.

We decided to turn his old stuff into a playroom, since the nursery itself was small. I set to work on it in the mornings, while he was making breakfast. It was a lot to take down and move, so it took a while. While emptying his desk to have him move it to storage, I found a little cardboard box. Curious, I opened it up.

At first I thought it was the dirty photos he had taken of me. The idea of him alone in his study, fucking his hand to these photos when working late on a new story made me shiver. But then, under those photos were more. Candid shots of me out with friends, even before the baby. I hadn't gotten out much after the baby came, not like I went much of anywhere after the attack. These photos were old.

Then, the ones from my home. In through the windows while I was changing. My shirtless working in my garden. Me reaching for a gift wrapped bottle of wine.

With shaking hands, I set the box down. My husband, unbeknownst to me, had come up behind me. He wrapped his arms tightly around me, in a way hours ago I would find protective but now felt like a vice grip.

"What's the matter, love?" He asked, as he placed a hand over my womb, once again full of his child. "I told you we were meant to be. That you would look beautiful heavy with my baby for the rest of your life. I know you think so too. Why else would you beg me to breed that fertile, beautiful body of yours again? Just as I said before. If it weren't for that night, we wouldn't have our daughter, or our marriage. I just wish I'd done it sooner."

[sentfromwolves]

◈—⌈ SENTFROMWOLVES ⌋ writeblr introduction ²⁰²⁴

Hi everyone, and welcome to my writeblr 2024 introduction. My name is Eran (they/he & freshly thirty) and I've been on writeblr for awhile, so you might've seen me around. ( •̀ ω •́ ) This is my yearly post to introduce the projects I'll be working on this year, what I write, and who I am. I'll be keeping it short and sweet.

I'd love to meet more writers this year, so if you write any of the following, or just like these genres, or even just wanna shout about ocs together, come holler and I'll give you a follow!

◈ — sci-fi and fantasy of any kind! cozy fantasy, romantasy, epic fantasy, space opera? this is my bread and butter, and I love shouting about it from the rooftops with others! ◈ — found families, ot3s, complicated soulmates. I am almost always writing about soulmates who have either killed each other at least once in the past or are planning some sort of murder. Complicated relationships, especially found families that aren't all rainbows and butterflies, are right up my alley. ◈ — queer and trans protagonists, large queer casts! all of my wips feature trans/nonbinary leads, and I'm always looking for more queer writer friends to connect with! ◈ — hope at the end of the tunnel, but hell to get to. I write stories with hopeful endings, with the sun on the horizon, with the promise that something better might now at long last be on the way. I love seeing characters get put through hell, but I love it even more when they make it to the other side. (if you write tragedy though, please know I will still cry on your doorstep if you'll have me) ◈ — corruption arcs, redemption arcs, sometimes both! Deeply nuanced characters with messy attitudes, and even messier actions. I'm just as equally obsessed with cool worldbuilding as I am with character-driven things, and I will yell about ocs all day, and maybe draw them too >:3 ◈ — big, epic, and sweeping worldbuilding! I am a huge fan of delving into the worldbuilding aspect of my wips. I love building magic systems, cultures, geographies, and more. One of my 2024 projects is doing a worldbuilding experiment blog at some point. I am always down to clown over worldbuilding, whether to sound board or just holler together!

There's a lot more I could say here, but this post can only get so long! Σ(っ °Д °;)っ my dms are always open, and I will follow back most of the time! But just to get all of the basics outta the way:

◈—« here's a quick and dirty rundown of how I work! »—◈

➺ I interact and follow from @calamityeden, so if you see that username, it's just me.✌️I am most active on discord, and if we become friends, you're more than welcome to ask to add me there. ➺ I am open to being tagged in writeblr games! Just know that I am not online all the time, and might be slow to respond to them. 🐌 ➺ My ask box and DMs are open, just please be respectful. I love meeting new writers and talking about projects! I am happy to chat and make new friends. You're always welcome! 💌 ➺ This is a strictly 18+ writeblr. Please DNI with me if you are a minor and respect my boundaries.

🪄You can find my core tags here under my writing and my graphics, as well as writer reminders, game train and catharsis. (❁´◡`❁) And now onto the fun part! My 2024 main project line up!

I have my main four listed here that you'll probably hear me yelling about pretty consistently, but I've also got a lot of other projects rattling around in my brain. So if you're ever curious about a project that's not here, feel free to yell at me about it! >:3

Genre: Dark Urban Fantasy Standalone.

Status: First Draft Complete (117k)—Revising for beta round one.

There's a clock tattooed on Nemesis's wrist, and when it reaches midnight on his 21st birthday, it will kill him. It doesn't help that his mom is the one that cursed him, and the demon currently possessing his car ate her before Nemesis could convince her to break the damned thing. Thankfully, Judge came prepared with an alternative: help him break into a mythical living city and steal its heart, and in return, he'll shatter Nemesis's curse for free. Accompanied by a three-headed hellhound, a haunted holy sword, and an excommunicated exorcist, Judge and Nemesis set their sights on an impossible heist. But the closer Nemesis gets to the heart, the more he begins to realize that he isn't the only one under a curse. And if he doesn't find a way to break Judge's soon, his own life will be forfeit as well.

Genre: Space Opera

Status: 2024 zero drafting from scratch

Two hundred years ago, humanity expanded to the stars only to find a cosmos filled with graves. But then their children began displaying the strange ability to commune with the alien ruins scattered across the planets, waking ancient, extrasolar mecha from their sleep, and turned the struggling colonies of space explorers into the fledgling galactic nation of Sol Galatea.  Now, Wren Akane is on the run from the whole galaxy, wanted for the strange alien powers throbbing through his veins. His luck runs out when he accidentally awakens an ancient Relic in the desert of his planet, only to be embedded with the memories of its last pilot and the revelation that the war that littered the cosmos with graves is far from over. But no one believes Wren when he tells them that continuing to wake the Relics will bring the hostile alien empire that destroyed them back to Sol Galatea’s doorstep. Only Wren’s rival pilot, Marek Khalid, seems interested in a word Wren has to say. But Marek doesn’t want to save Sol Galatea. He has big plans for what to do when the aliens arrive, a rebellion to lead, and if Wren isn’t on his side, he’s in his way. With time running out, Wren must soon decide how far he’s willing to go to save the people that never tried to save him—or if Marek is right, and he should let the stars burn instead.

Genre: Adult Romantasy

Status: First Draft (1k/100k)

Once a year, Celestials from all across the Lumina Kingdom gather together for Eventide, the season of courtship, hoping to win the hand of the most eligible star at court. Sirius knows the game they play all too well: by day, he is the forgettable, miserable daughter of the Lumina Family, least of his seven siblings and wanted only for the royal blood running through his veins.  By night, however, Sirius is the Starweaver—the mysterious dressmaker taking the kingdom by storm. Everyone wants to know the identity of the one responsible for elaborate outfits that turn even the quietest Celestial in the room into the star of the show, outshining even Sirius’s luminous sibling, Diana. When the infamous King Beyond Midnight arrives with the intent to wed Diana, Sirius finds his secret in jeopardy when the condition for their hand in marriage is a simple challenge: reveal the Starweaver's true identity. There’s no outsmarting Octavian for long, and soon, Sirius will have to make a choice: give up on his passion and stay hidden forever, or risk everything to stay true to who he really is.

Genre: Second World Urban Fantasy

Status: Outlining

Something changes the day that Nakano Touya returns to the crumbling city of Soma Lux. It starts with voices in the radio static, blurry figures caught on camera, always out of focus. When a monster crawls out of Touya's television screen and eats him, the last thing he expects is to find a strange, shadowy otherworld lurking on the other side. But his biggest problem isn't the monsters of the otherworld that want to eat him, or the talking cat that saved him, now living in his apartment without a care in sight. Soma Lux is experiencing a strange new epidemic—one that Touya is completely unaffected by. But when his half-sister falls comatose, Touya knows he has to get to the bottom of it all to save her—and find out why he's the only one immune. Accompanied by his jaded ex-boyfriend, Touya’s nosy classmates, a part-time fortune teller, and a cantankerous old hag, Touya dives into the murky underbelly of Soma Lux, where the realities have begun to bleed together between his world and the next. 

That's all for now! >:3 Here's to an amazing 2024! (also my actual blog is a mess right now please do not mind it ksjndfskfn)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I (27F) am still living with my parents due to financial reasons and covid pushing my college education back. I've either worked or done full time college since I was 18 and i have helped my parents out. I'm fully moving out, hopefully, this fall, but things have been sticky since.

My mother is controlling and has very little respect for my boundaries. For 13 years, she has made comments about my phone having a password she doesn't know. She regularly remarks about all the "self restraint" it takes her to not go into my room when I'm not home and reorganize my dresser and bookshelf. I feel like I can never relax because of having to justify my free time to her. I am 27 and have had fights with her over my bedtime. In the past back when I voice chatted people, she would get angry when I tried to set aside any time at home to not be interrupted. She's yelled at me when I was on mic for stuff like not opening a window, which she then did and had no reason to yell at me for except to embarrass me.

I'm Queer and my family knows but pretends I'm not in daily life, and she makes incredibly judgemental homophobic, transphobic, and sometimes racist comments when watching TV or when there's something LGBT related in the news or going around her feed, yet she thinks she isn't a bigoted person/that she's been a great parent. When I had a trans male friend over 5 years ago she launched into a tirade about fake gender and me "pulling a prank" on her and a lot of things I won't repeat but it was bad enough I haven't had a single person come by since. Any friend time is outside of the house. I keep all my friends away from her.

Thing is, she also blames me for never going outside or having her own life. She wants to rely on me or other people for everything even though she can drive. She lost an eye to cancer, something I took care of her all the way though, but she has driven, has a fake eye so no one can tell she's missing an eye, and has a special mirror on the car so she can see in her blindspot. But she won't go out alone and even before he vision loss she always wanted someone with her out of anxiety.

So all this summer she wants me to be her valet, basically, saying she'll get into the habit of going places if I go with her, but saying any "attitude" from me in the past is the reason why she stopped caring about herself or going outside.

I want to have very basic boundaries respected and have my own free time, but she keeps making her living at all on me and expecting sunshine and rainbows while being controlling and only accepting very certain reactions. Any time I try to be assertive about things like my own bedtime, she asks me why I "turn everything into a power struggle" when she's the one who starts things.

I don't want to spend time with her, even though I know she has gone though things and has lost an eye. I feel miserable, isolated, and like I can't even have resting bitch face without being accused of something. I just want her to live her own life and not need me to escort her everywhere because of her paranoia, and I'm trying to spend time away and give pushback about boundaries. AITA for trying to swerve her?

What are these acronyms?

[cringefaecompilation]

I know it wasn't the focus of your misogyny post so if I'm overstepping please ignore me, but it also really makes me mad when people "conveniently forget" that Ashton is nonbinary, especially when it justifies their shitty opinions (ie he's One Of The Boys™ so he's always correct and can do no wrong thanks to his male-based intellect unlike the awful evil women or he's an Evil Manipulative Man™ who's going out of his way to use his male-ness to harm these poor innocent helpless women because he said/did anything negative towards them). Like please y'all, they're not a man PLEASE they said their pronouns IN THE FIRST EPISODE PLEASE. Feel free to like/dislike Ashton all you want cause that's perfectly fair, but for the love of god don't be transphobic (especially to be sexist) when you do it??? Is that too much to ask??? Idk if I'm making sense/getting upset at nothing because I've seen a lot of people dismiss this as being silly or getting mad at nothing, but idk as a masc enby a lot of discussions around Ashton feel so gross? Idk though, once again ignore if I'm overstepping or anything

you are not being silly and you are not getting mad at nothing or overstepping. it's a huge problem.

i've seen way more of the former where he is misgendered as a cis male as a positive trait, so i'll be talking more about that. will be reposting my tags about this trend in fandom because i've already said my piece on it.

ashton is "schrodinger's man" to these people when they're bored with ignoring/erasing orym's respect and care towards the women in his life. they're nonbinary and trans when they're being directly defended against fans who only like the women, and they're a cis male who is a victim of violent misandry when complaining about previous drama or shipping laudmo/ore (willing to give the benefit of the doubt that maybe some of that blending is them including cis male actor taliesin jaffe but then again). the idea that shardgate was Feminism Going Too Far is an actual statement that i've seen going around the fandom, and it's gotten worse now with swordgate.

didja know there are people insisting laudna should have been abandoned by the hells or fearne should have gotten "harsher punishment" when her dad nearly killed her because both women did something selfish/impulsive and ashton was yelled at and punished for doing something selfish/impulsive? the They Only Were Upset With Ashton Because He Is A Man argument is so fucking dumb. bro almost nuked himself without telling anybody else and was the only one not forcing the shard down fearne's throat, of course they'd come to blows. and you wanna know why they didn't scream at fearne or laudna? BECAUSE THEY LEARNED TO NOT DO THAT. THEY HAD A THERAPY SESSION SPECIFICALLY TO AVOID DOING THAT SHIT AGAIN

and it really does make it obnoxious because i like him and orym's dynamic but it's so fucking frustrating seeing people make them into bell's hells leaders and Voices Of Reason just so they can say "orym is always correct because dead husband and imogen is a salty selfish bitch" or "ashton is always correct because tough love & street smarts and imogen is just a salty selfish bitch" that it immediately sets off red flags for me if someone says those guys are their favorite bh characters. and it sucks because i love orym and ashton too!

obligatory "both sides though" mention: yes. there are im/odna shippers that fantasize about "punishing" or murdering ashton. they do that to dorian and orym too. i am aware of them and i have seen them. i have 90% of them blocked lmao

and i have also talked about this before but the amount of people i've seen insisting callowm/oore is a bad homophobic cishet ship that erases fearne's pansexuality is BIZARRE. this argument was used to prop up fearn/iture which makes no fucking sense to me since chetney is, as far as we know, cisgender. we might not know ashton's sexuality proper but it's safe to assume they aren't heterosexual as they've flirted with people of many genders. also there was this genuine debate if as/hrym was a homophobic ship because orym only dates men... and. well. i don't think it'd be the same as shipping keyleth with orym, let's put it that way lol

[emeritus-fuckers]

Hi, feel free to ignore. I don’t know why this is making me panic so much but I’m a writer and I write Sodo being called Sodo instead of Dewdrop, some ghost fans seem to be getting a little mad that he’s not being called Dewdrop and I was wondering why you decided to call him Sodo?

Im unfortunately a chronic people pleaser and this is kind of tearing me apart part, I’m so very confused.

(I admire you very much by the way rat for sticking to your own beliefs and Hc’s and not going against your beliefs to please one person you don’t even know through a screen)

hi!

i believe the reason people get pissy about sodo being called sodo and not dewdrop (bleh) is because the man behind the mask is called the sodomizer and even has a tattoo of the word on his stomach, which leads people to apparently lose their minds because "it's disrespectful" to him by "blurring the line between him and the character" which is just nonsense, honestly.

sodo started out as a bassist, which would make him a water ghoul, so he was named dewdrop because compared to the rest of the band at the time, he was relatively small.

however, he is now the main guitarist. a fire ghoul. i do not see how a fire ghoul would be called dewdrop.

it's even more silly when you realize that papa called sodo that (well, sodomizer, which sodo is a short form of) multiple times. hell, at my own ritual, we were yelling out sodo.

the people behind the ghouls masks are very much aware of what we call them. at least some of them (sodo, aether and phantom definitely) are and they have no problem with being called that. sodo reacts to being called sodo.

fun fact, there was also a discourse about how apparently he's uncomfortable with dewdrop, but from what i've read, it wasn't from him, it was just misinformation which spreads in the fandom at a ridiculously fast pace.

for me personally, there are a few reasons i chose sodo over dewdrop.

one, it's a fucking fire ghoul. i'm not calling a fire ghoul dewdrop.

two, i view switching elements as something similar to being trans. partially because i'm trans myself. calling him dewdrop feels to me like deadnaming him.

three, it's a bit similar to mary goore's pronouns for me. while mary can be a he/they or a they/them, calling mary goore a "he" makes me uncomfortable. calling sodo dewdrop also makes me uncomfortable.

and lastly, i just don't like the name, in all honesty.

in the end, i believe that what he's called will depend on your own opinions and maybe when you joined the fandom, but calling sodo anything other than sodo feels wrong to me, so i'm sticking with that. i do accept asks where he's called dewdrop, but i always call him sodo either way.

if people are getting mad at you for this and making you panic, inform them that this is your choice as a writer and they are free to leave whenever they fucking please. it's your art. as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, you should be free to do anything you please with it. and calling a character a different name isn't gonna hurt anyone, trust me.

the people getting pissed at you probably have nothing better to do with their time. if i can skip a post with sodo being called dewdrop and ignore a post with mary being called a "he", they can ignore your posts/fics if they don't like a name or a headcanon. and if they don't and they seek out drama over something so petty, their opinions aren't worth caring about.

i used to be a chronic people pleaser, too, back when i wrote fanfiction on wattpad. and let me tell you, it made me feel terrible. i was pushing out chapters and publishing pieces i didn't like because people liked them. i was genuinely convinced my work was bad because it made me feel bad to write it.

eventually i decided to let go, completely switched out a fanfic in a way that people hated but also made me much happier. it's your writing and your decisions. other people don't get to dictate that. i'm sticking with my own headcanons because it's my blog. i made this blog. i am the main writer. if you disagree with a headcanon, you can move past my blog and go read someone else's fanfiction.

the best piece of advice that i can offer you, anon, is to remember that you're one of the people you're supposed to please. and the only one that truly matters in the end. if you ever wanna talk about those things, send me an ask on my main and i'll dm you (non-mutuals can't dm me for personal reasons) so we can talk more.

people suck. have fun writing.

- nosferatu

[littleapocalypsekitten]

Something I've been thinking of lately in regards to how much I mistrust people. This time, politically. Alright, I know enough that Conservatives Cannot Be Trusted. Even the "mild" ones who aren't full-bore MAGA kind of truck with them, share like-mindedness, even if the milder ones might not like a big orange blowhard because of optics. He's making them look bad by yelling the quiet parts out loud, but those parts are still there. However, I am thinking that Leftists Cannot Be Trusted, either. I truck much more on that side of the political aisle. I want Universal Healthcare more than anything. I'd like to break the backs of corporations. I want to give everyone free homes and utilities as a basic human right. Even a Universal Basic Income might be nice. Work for the luxuries and a higher standard of living, but no one starves. (Hunger doesn't drive people to work, starving people are too weak to work). I am very much on the same page with not just the "liberal" values, but even some things that are considered outright leftist. But I do look askance, sort of have a feeling of looking over my shoulder because of some things I hear from self-proclaimed Leftists and some of the historical leans they've had. I mean, first of all, some of the people I've seen on Youtube are pretty abelist, actually. I see a lot of throwing around of the r-word and poking at people for being autistic. (Granted, even if you're making fun of Elon Musk, it leaves a bad taste in the mouth). There's a lot of down-punching on people with any kind of psychiatric condition (but that's nothing new, the entire world, right, center and left does that, it's just that the left pretends that they don't do it and do it, anyway). There's even someone I talk to on a forum who has severe kidney disease and takes dialysis who has been told in response to pointing out that the aftermath of a Revolution is going to leave things a mess for good while, the kind of mess where he cannot get access to medical care that he should be willing to die for the Revolution. He does not want to die for their idea of a Revolution. People who claim to want to ultimately save people like him are ultimately telling him that he needs to die. Another thing that makes me nervous is just how many "reddit atheists" / "fedora atheists" are self-proclaimed uber-leftists. There is nothing wrong with being an atheist. You do you. I'm theistic in my beliefs, but I don't believe in eternal conscious torment Hell - I gave up being an Evangelical when that belief and being a spiritual used car salesman wasn't working out for me. Still, yes, even though I haven't been to church in decades, I have some religious beliefs. They're a personal method of getting through life for me, nothing less, nothing more. I was very online in the 2000s, including on religious fora. These places got a lot of trolls. I encountered a lot of AGGRESSIVE attempts at deconversion. A lot of leftists were of this stripe and wove their politics into it. It seems like "that crowd" since 2017 or so, split off into two factions: The guys who followed the rather blatant Islamaphobia of certain popular authors and listened to junk about women being "more religious" and therefore inferior because of our soft, tender ladybrains, a fear of trans people and the like getting them really alt-right and in bed with some of the Christian fundamentalist people they used to despise and... those that stayed leftist, went even harder leftist and anti-capitalist and actually started to recognize that Progressive religionists exist and are good allies in the fight against common enemies. They took off their fedoras and got to work in allyship against those who oppress minorities and the poor. Good for us all. However, I look at these same people sometimes and I think, "Alright, once we achieve a more equitable world together, if it is even possible, are you actually a leopard that's going to eat my face?"

[crispycreambacon]

🪱 Intro Post: Take 2 🪱

Mellow-Yellow-Welcome to my art blog!

My full name is Chris Pycream Bacon, but you can call me Crispy! Others have bestowed upon me Chris P, Chris, Christopher and Bacon which I very much welcome.

In here you'll find, well, art! Not just from me but from others as well because sharing art is caring. I also sometimes post reviews, opinions or just jamble-tamble-rambles.

You can find me in other places, namely in AO3 where I post my writings and another Tumblr blog where everything is a little less organized and rambley :P

This is an inclusive place, so POC, LGBT+, disabled/neurodivergent and non-Christian people are welcome here!

If you are discriminatory towards any one of these groups or are just a contemptible being, you're getting the boot :}

With that out of the way, you can learn more about me and find my tagging system under the "Keep Reading" section!

I love drawing anything from comics to illustations to OCs to fanart. I just draw whatever my heart desires at the moment. One day, I'd love to be an animator or a comic artist, but I'm open to whatever art career welcomes me with open arms!

Other than visual arts, you can find me indulging in writing, singing, acting, listening to music and yelling about whatever interests me in the moment. I also have two cats named Takoyaki and Sashimi, a dog named Miso, and a dinosaur plush named Dinosara that I adore very much!

I'm a non-binary trans person and am very annoying about it in a silly way :3 I'm also a bisexual aroace in a queerplatonic relationship with the most specialest, most girlypop fish in the world <3 (Arden if you're reading this HI HELLO WELLOW!!!)

Here are a list of tags to keep things organized!

#chris p fried art - My art

#chris p fried rambles - My commentary

#chris p fried writings - My writings

#artists cooking gourmet - Art made by other artists

#chris p fried doo doo - My shitposts

#chris p fried answers - My answers to asks

#people frying stuff - General posts made by other people

#clowns burning the kitchen (affectionate) - Funny posts

#a nice warm soup after a long day - Wholesome posts

#alphabet soup matters - LGBT+ posts

#important - Awareness posts (Can potentially be triggering; view at your own discretion)

I try my best to trigger tag posts. If you'd like anything to be tagged, feel free to shoot me an anonymous ask or a message, and I will do so for you!

Feel free to interact or reach out! I'm not always the best in responding on time, but I do my best :>

Whether you're here for my art, my rambles or just wanna have a chill time with the funny demon, I hope you'll enjoy your stay! ^w^ ~ ☆

[paracosmicat]

Fan Fiction Review

Once again, I have thoughts, and need somewhere to dump them and I’m using it as an excuse to treat this like a book review. WELCOME to my very professional book review.

This time is the one and only @buggachat’s fan fiction Rocking the Cat Eye

I feel particularly excited about this one because I have a whole transfem Adrien that I write and her name is Adrienne and she is very cute and very cat girl so lets seeee (I know this Adrien is genderfluid, but they can have overlap) 🎉

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I AM TO SEE THAT ALIX HAS RETURNED FROM THE VOID (the time?? Void??) everyone shut the hell up ALIX IS HERE!!!!

I WAS RIGHT TO BE EXCITED ABOUT HER THIS IS SO SWEET alsooo is she like,,, picking up on vibes?? IS ADRIEN GIVING VIBES???

SHE IS DEFINITELY PICKING UP ON VIBES

I’m just pausing my yelling because I just realized Alix is totally a time traveler and might just know

OH I SEE SO YEAH I WAS PROBABLY SUPPOSED TO INFER THAT FROM THE START LOL AND I FELT SO SMART FOR WHAT

ALIX IS BEING SO OBVIOUS LMAO HOW IS NO ONE PICKING UP ON THIS (like Plagg said, people are blind) same energy as very single “MO-MA’AM” in the show

But also we love to see this room full of lesbians some of which with boyfriends but whatever thrive

ADRIEN YOURE ALWAYS PRETTY IM YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN I LOVE YOU

Me and Buggachat hand hold emoji making our trans/genderfluid Adrien's wear green nail polish at the start of their exploration

OKAY THERE IS NO ARGUING WITH THAT PUT THE MAKE UP WIPES DOWN THIS INSTANT

SEE LOOK WHAT YOU DID MARI

This is a TRAVESTY

I guess you’ll have to make her a dress to make up for it

I am sensing a nonsense

I know this ISN'T a Doctor Who reference but I love the idea of referring to real things that happen in real life in the future as spoilers and it is my favorite thing about River Song

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ADRIENNE YES THAT WOULD BE YOUR MARINO NAME

MY Adrienne says hello and that she hopes you figure it out and to invest in a cheese den for Plagg it's worth it

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT SCENE WAS REAL SOMETIMES alsoooo princess as a nickname for Adrien is ABSOLUTELY incredible

MEOW IDJJFJFHHH I CAN'T BREATHE HE IS THE CUTEST IN THE WORLD

WOW DIE DIE DIE

This is so terrifying I'm???

THE NONSENSE IS COMING

I WAS EXPECTING IT TO MAKE ME LAUGH NOT CRY OH GOD THIS IS SO HARD TO READ I WANT TO GIVE HIM A HUG

Oh my god it's THAT level of repression ADRIEN TAKE THE ROCK OUT OF YOUR SHOE

I don't have anything clever to add except that this line made me cry laughing

and then Nino was genderfluid

GENDERFLUID MARC IS SUCH A GOOD HEADCANNON I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD HAVE CONSIDERED IT BEFORE????

YES YEES YES PRINCESS AS A NICKNAME IS STICKING

Conclusion: Read this right now read it a million times I am going to reread it again

Also feel free to suggest another one for me to read (even your own) I am always looking

[painfullymeta]

In my feels again, tumblr

Back in 2017 or so I wrote a story about anxiety. It was absolutely rooted in the political environment of the moment; it was absolutely rooted in the particular stresses of the moment for someone who passes for cishet and is not. It's about a closeted, neurodivergent (unspecified but he has enough echolalia to be a PITA to write) trans man who is being increasingly hemmed in by the misogynistic component of creeping fascism and is forced to choose whether or not he becomes himself or lets the world win.*

The world is full of choices, and they don't actually get less scary when the moment passes, because gods know those moments are still out there waiting for their chance (if life were made of moments, even now and then a bad one— but if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one**) and I'm just me. (Am I not hot when I'm in my feelings?***)

Sunday I had a chance to talk with the trans kid who was a big chunk of inspiring my last big in my feels tumblr post and tell him his speech meant a lot to me, as someone who doesn't know what the fuck I am. And to tell him my Tradition has a canonically transmasc god, because it does, and even if he isn't pagan anymore, he's someone it's safe to say that to.

The teens give me life, yo. (Nonbinary kid at the coaster park stabbing into their ice cream cup with a spoon and yelling at their jimmies, "I CAME OUT, WHY WON'T YOU" will live rent-free in my brain forever. In the good way. In the best way.) One of my kids made me a nonbinary flag friendship bracelet. I love everyone in this bar never mind that none of y'all are old enough to drink there.

I spend a lot of pointless brain cycles worrying about how much of my life I'll blow up if I make more of a point of anything. Though at least being at "now accepting all major pronouns and thon" about it makes the casual human interaction a little less fraught. But I loop back around and through the petty anxiety about it all the time.

Anyway. That is all setup for the bit I am actually in my feels about.

I happened to glance at Discord and saw activity in a server for a meatspace social group. So I went to see what it was.

What it was, was a friend who is, as far as I know, cishet, posting this:

Which I suspect he did because a) it's June and b) one of the other folks there has Star Wars as a special interest.

I peered at it, and I peered at my anxiety, and I replied to say that in related content, one of my kids made me an enby-flag friendship bracelet.

Within less than a minute, that comment of mine had a thumbs up react from a cis gay friend who hadn't even been logged in at the time I said it and I am fuckin' verklempt ever since.

It's such a tiny thing, but I have such anxiety about my whole deal in my meatspace life y'all and here's this quiet in-person-person in-community support and it means the world to me and...

... anyway I flapped my hands incoherently at him in DMs because it fuckn mattered. (And I know he can parse "I am too autistic to words usefully here".)

Never underestimate the power of a well-placed thumbs up emoji.

We are more than we're made to be We got more than meets the eye When we stand strong, together you and me We can save the world ****

* "The Company Store" was published in Recognize Fascism, an anthology edited by Crystal M. Huff and released by World Weaver Press in 2020.

** Yeah I'm putting in the echolalia because I talked about Rory's origin story it's just gonna happen that way and also I am deep in Alexithymia Bros right now so I'm talking around my feels. That's from Into the Woods, by the way, "Moments in the Woods", by Sondheim and Lapine.

*** "I'm Just Ken", the Barbie Movie

**** "We Can Save the World", Blaseball: The Musical (The Deaths of Sebastian Telephone)

[ihatepeoplesomuchuwu]

As a POC, CSA survivor, and both trans & queer - Tom should've educated himself. He had no right to step his foot into racism that /he/ has not experienced. I've had a genuine brick thrown in my face because I spoke Spanish. /Because I spoke Spanish./

GaG is nothing /but/ hate, and it worries me that the "let's agree to disagree" mentality is being spread here. It's dangerous. It's scary to think you guys would still want to support a creator - who's fandom had poc and was mainly LGBT - who looked down upon us. It's common sense, that he did not have. I don't wish death threats upon anyone, and I am so terribly sorry he experienced that. But I am happy he is gone. Let him learn and actually research before he steps his foot into issues he does not belong in.

His fandom that he created felt betrayed, hurt, and as if we were used for money. I still do. I do not support him. The only support he deserves, is therapy and actual learning. Not babying and coddling. People need to realize that just because you have freedom to like something, doesn't free you of consequence and opinion. I hope he stays gone, in all respect. And I hope all of his supporters that "he did nothing wrong" also grow up and get help. Listen to POC, queer, jew, and disabled voices.

I am so so sorry you went through that. I won't pretend by saying I understand how you're feeling, but just know that I'm so sorry you went through/go through all of that. You are very strong, and I hope one day things do get better, not just for you but any and everyone who has gone through that.

As for the GaG agree to disagree subject. The agree to disagree thing was for the Tom situation in general, not only for the GaG. I have been talking about them because I'm trying to educate myself on who they are as people and only recently learned about their actions. I can't speak for all of us, but some of us are just here to discuss stuff. Not all of us are or will continue to support Tom. You have people who love lurking for love, still do but don't want to buy anything or continuing to follow Tom if he comes back. You have others who will. You have others who don't. We all understand that here, and we shouldn't be telling others what to do in their lives. We can disagree and move on, of course, but yelling and being rude only drives people away faster.

Why drive him away, though? I didn't even agree with everything he said, but why couldn't we have had a conversation with him about it instead of telling him what was wrong with what was said? People mess up all the time. It happens, and we shouldn't be screaming insults at someone who had his own opinions and side of the story. Both sides were handled poorly, and I still stand by that this should have been handled privately like adults.

I understand. A lot of people were hurt, and no one here is looking down on those who were hurt. This is meant to be a place where people can talk from both sides about what happened without getting insulted, It doesn't matter if I or anyone agrees or not. This is a safe place for those who don't know where to go when they can't feel welcomed or safe to say, even ONE opinion. You want to call it babying and coddling, then fine, No one is stopping you. But sometimes, all someone needs to understand is someone to just hold their hand and explain. Especially when Tom even asked for proof of the comic artist being a Nazi and only 1 person helped him. People sometimes just need help to understand or get the whole picture. My dad never understood being trans. He even said transphobic things to my face, but all It took was time and explaining, and now he defends anyone who is trans and even when I came out to him.

I can not add on the racism part because I have never experienced racism. I'm not going to even pretend I do because racism is an awful to see and I can't even imagine how it must feel to experience it first hand. I am so sorry that you have and I'm sorry to anyone who has as well.

With everything being said, I hope you have a wonderful day or night, anon, and please remember to hydrate as well, okay? ^^

[syscourse-confessions]

I am so tired of law-abiding fools.

They claim that you can't tell someone's being a smartass based on vibes alone, they might actually be trying to make a real argument! They might really be telling the truth, and without concrete proof you can't say otherwise!

Burden of proof is on the guy wearing the smirk, I'm not sorry

Let me explain. Someone in here recently disavowed the concept of bad-faith arguments, specifically the thought that you might be able to tell whether they're making one without knowing them and being inside their head.

Throwback to several years ago, when I ran up against someone telling me they don't think my disorder is real. I'm like. I'm not dealing with this. They want to paint me as crazy so that nobody takes my criticism seriously, everybody will eat it up because the change I want is inconvenient, and the staff will obviously be like :thumbsup: all the while being like. "You just got mad, deal with it B)" (this was about an IEP in school btw, in case you're curious.)

Bad-faith arguments have an unscholarly purpose. To make you just give up because arguing with them is exhausting. And it works because people take them seriously, bro. People take mister "I dont trust the medicine people" seriously. IDK what the anon was specifically talking about, but the concept of bad-faith arguments should be taken seriously. It's a valid observation to make of somebody else's argument, and they can make counter points to your observation if they want. If the guy was like, I dunno anything about it! Once I pointed out the bad-faithness, I could educate him and he could learn. But that isn't what happened. It's just emotional denial with zero curiosity. "No!! Now listen to me instead of ignoring me!!" they say. And then you listen, and that's when they win. (in this instance I just got accomodations for symptoms of general ptsd, which wasn't enough so I dropped out)

When people with shitty ideas pretend to be good-willed, we feel obligated to give them a platform as a free-thinking, curious, trusting society. Daily IRL life (offline) depends on trusting people to be decent. When people with shitty ideas present themselves as Just Asking Questions And Being Curious Except When You Try To Educate Me I Yell At You, the audience (at BEST) reacts with "oh well I guess since this person who Knows about this is arguing with him, I guess he's worth arguing with! I guess this topic is still up for debate!" And you can SEE the issue with that.

Support people who just don't take obvious shit. Support people who call out some Bullshit, pls. Pretending you have to treat everyone as equally unmalicious is dangerous, and that's coming from a trans guy who was accused of mail tampering at age 11. Be less trusting of OBVIOUS bs, and if someone's like "this is an obvious bad-faith argument" don't go "you don't know that! what if they're well-meaning? You can't see in their head!" it's literally All these types of people want. I don't care what it's about. This happens with every single issue. Hotdogs a sandwich. This is pedantics. We're talking about food safety cause your restaurant is breaking the food safety guidelines, we aren't going to discuss whether a hotdog counts as a sandwich. That type of shit. It's everywhere. "I want a lwayer, dog" "Oh but he might've meant he wanted a dog who was a lawyer! I didn't know he was calling Me dog!" you know. Hope this isn't too harsh, I don't hold any bad feelings towards this one anon, I just really hate seeing actual angels in my life fall into the trap of trusting professional bullshitters :/ Replies encouraged, because obviously since this is a reply to someone I'd be an ass to not welcome a response LOL

📬- Syscourse replies encouraged

[frogofalltime]

(i'm so sorry, this turned out to be a full essay. nobody has to actually Read this. i'm just posting into the Void because it feels better than keeping all these feelings inside.)

being at my parents' house after living away for a year is so weird. every time i return here i feel like i've stepped back into the person i was a year ago. i sleep in their room, i wear their pyjamas, i slot back into the roles they used to fulfil. if i could just switch off my brain, maybe i could go back to how things were before, when everything was buried deep inside my chest and almost nobody in the world aside from one or two friends knew that i was anything other than a girl.

and yet i also feel like i'll never be that person ever again. it's as if they were a character i played for a while, but now i have jumped off the stage, and landed in a place that feels so much better. i don't want to perform anymore; i just want to be Myself. i want to Scream and Yell and tell everyone i met before i went to university last year that they never knew me, that the old me was trying so hard to be something i am not, that i was never a girl and i just pretended to be because that was what i had to do. i want to shout at the top of my lungs, i'm a boy, i'm a BOY, please let me dress like one, please let me be what i am ! please love me even though i am not what you thought i was !

but i also know i Can't say that because they will never accept me. they probably won't even believe me. my parents won't ever call me Son; they'd never stop calling me their Daughter, unless they decide to disown me. they will think i'm mentally ill, brainwashed, or even possessed; they'll stay awake at night praying because they think i'm a sinner and going to hell, and i don't want them to go through that. many times i have tried to explain it to my mother but she wasn't receptive at all, so i diluted it down to basically nothing, feeble excuses for why i changed my style and cut my hair. and then my father. i can't even say a word to him. it wouldn't be safe.

every She, every Her, hurts me like an arrow in my chest. i don't want to be seen as female. i want to change my name because it feels like it doesn't represent me. i want to get top surgery and never again have to close my eyes when i shower or wear uncomfortable layers to hide my chest. but i don't think i ever can. what else am i supposed to do with this pain but endure it ? i have to keep acting, for everybody's sake.

i'm only here for three more days. i've survived so much longer in the past ! i'll be Home soon, but even there i won't be free, because my housemates also think i'm a girl. in fact they arranged their accommodation to be religious and female-only, but here i am, a fraud and a liar and definitely Not A Woman. if i told them this, i don't know how they'd react. i am sure it would not be positive.

at least my friends know the truth, and they do support me. i have a Found Family that genuinely cares and understands, and i don't know what i would do without them. maybe next year i will be able to live with them and that way i won't have to pretend anymore ? or even if that doesn't work out, at least i have stopped pretending to myself. i don't have to keep trying to "fix" my dysphoria by forcing myself to be feminine (which, of course, makes the dysphoria even worse). when i'm away from my family, i can dress how i want. i don't have to repress everything "deviant" about myself like i used to before. i am what i am and i love myself for it. nobody can take that away from me.

in fact, i'm really happy. truly, i feel better than i ever have before. realising that i am trans, that i always have been, and finally embracing it, was the most freeing moment of my life. it just hurts that i can't share this joy with my parents and that i have to hide what i am around them. but we can't have everything in life, i suppose.

[foxfairy06]

HIIIII poookkksss its ollie, u banned me so ill yell at you on tumbllrrr <33333. YOU ARE A JOKKKE. "No cause i literally got diagnosed on the phone but ok hunn go off". okay sure, seriously doubtful because you could lie over the phone... did you know that... bet you didnt. anyway. like thats your reply to what u actually have to do to get a diagnosis, so your over the phone shit is actual bullshit. like its not covid no reason to do that, and also they need to see you in person and have you explain how your feeling aswell as your movements and the way that you respond to questions to get a diagnosis, or they will ask your family and friends or your teaching if they have noticed behavior that is needed for your diagnosis. so BULLSHIT BULLSHIT :333. Telling me to touch grass, god you so basic oml. also calling me a hypocrite when your a literal exclusionist , which you get to decide what is and isnt in the lgbtqia+ community is hypocrisy. from the merriam webster "a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings" and something you said in our messages, "The basis is lgbt topics. It's meant to be a place for lgbt exclusionists to gather" you say you support ppl of lgbtq but if they dont meet your criteria or if you dont think their queer you exclude them. thats hypocrisy. anyway hope you actually get the help you need so you can WAKE THE FUCK UP for you stupidity <3 which i will continue to state because my proof above proves it <3.

-ollie p.s you are still a ball of sperm we all are its not rude its a literal fact

p.p.s if you bring up what i said in the server here is a message i sent to you "i was spewing BULLSHIT" which you know is because i am a troll and i was gathering dirt on you pooks

p.p.p.s i have screenshotted all of out chats <3 karmas a bitch she is coming for you.

Karma for??? Being a good person? I didn't say anything rude, homophobic, or bad to you so you have no actual leverage here. That's like saying "i took screenshots so karma is coming for you<3" to the poor child you just harassed that eas being respectful and kind to you the whole time.

For those who don't understand, green text to the rescue!

> be ollie

> be sitting at your moms computer, bored

> decide your life isn't angry enough

> create an entire Tumblr spewing radmed shit thinking transmeds will follow you

> find a transmed with a server

> start saying super homophobic shit and harass everyone

> get muted for being homophobic and transphobic and harassing people

> message all the mods and call them names for muting your

> admit you were trolling then scream and cry at the owner for being transmed while calling him names and making strawmen and adhominem

> get banned

> still be a pissbaby who can't stop being angry with his life

> decide touching grass is too much

> go leave a novel of an ask under the owners Tumblr that makes several assumptions and zero sense then question their means of diagnosis.

For those who don't have context, i am trans, I am duosex, I went to a therapy place for free, and saw a therapist. He immediately started going through the criteria for dysphoria because I asked but we ran out of time. So I'm getting my diagnosis finished over the phone. It took me two appointments and $0 to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis. So stop acting like this is difficult or hurting anyone.

It's not hypocrisy to provide a safe space for a group and exclude people. You would provide a safe space for enben that has binary people in it? Because they aren't enby. Thus they don't need that space, and could fuck it up.

You're the hypocrite calling me names and crying and screaming at me calling me crazy. Seriously get some help. Therapy is an option. If you don't feel safe in your current mental state you could always check in at an ER and tell them you need help. You could also look around. Many places provide therapy for free. Utilize these resources and stop harassing strangers online. I hope that goes well for you.

[jerryvolox]

idk if i'll ever post after this but

hi 👋 call me jerry. i'm a lesbian trans guy from the uk, and i think fiction / ship discourse is stupid but for the sake of not getting yelled at later for not being clear, i'm profic / comship

my twitter is under the same username and friends can dm me for my discord, where i'm most active

i'm about to be 17, i'm autistic; my current spins/hypfx include:

- rick and morty (especially jerry prime)

- bears in trees

- south park (esp kyman)

- art

i probably will use this account to vent, but as a rule i definitely will not be including content that explicitly mentions sensitive topics

ps if you recognise my art on socials that i haven't already listed above, you're free to say hi, but please do not share it with anybody else!! i haven't mentioned them for a reason.

pps if you try to debate me on my id, i absolutely will laugh at you. the way i personally experience my relation to gender and sexuality and the labels i feel fit me best have zero impact on anybody else. queer discourse is beyond stupid.

ppps despite how disinterested in discourse i am, i'm still open to genuine and civil discussion. debates, not so much, since i can promise that the likelihood of me changing my mind on anything is very, very low, but i do genuinely enjoy sharing our own views and reasons for our opinions; it's interesting, so don't feel afraid to speak to me ab it at all