#idk obviously uglies universe is kinda messy but I feel like you could still get some positive trans readings of it

[lala-blahblah]

HMM uglies movie thoughts again. I like Laverne cox and I think she slayed as Doctor Cable, and I don't want to say this was a bad casting decision. But I will say that being familiar with her as a person , knowing she is a trans woman, and seeing her playing a character whose storyline is trying to force kids to get a surgery feels like it plays into right wing trans fearmongering in a kind of icky way? And I don't think this was intentional at all! I don't know if I'd even go so far as to say that this was a bad casting choice because in some ways it's empowering to see a trans women held up as an ideal beauty standard. But it's something I ended up thinking about the whole movie and I feel like it undermined the narrative it was trying to share.

On a more positive note, the uglies universe is a really interesting one to look at when it comes to trans folks though because they for sure would be allowed and accepted, and I don't think anybody would think twice about it. Its a future where everyone is expected to go through a major surgery anyway, like the pretty committee wouldn't care if you wanted more feminine features or masculine features or whatever, as long as you let them mess with your brain and turn you obedient they're happy! Which is kind of ideal for trans folks (minus brain washing of coursee). And the surgery isn't even fully a bad thing in the series. The Uglies universe is interesting because at first it really emphasizes how messed up beauty standards are and has commentary on intense plastic surgery just to like yourself. But (spoilers!) Tally never undoes the surgery afterwards. Like it happened but the focus is regaining her mind and her clarity, she never returns to her old face (and in a way she can't go back because she's changed too much on the inside anyway). So it's not like "in order to be your true self you must remain looking like you were" it's like "your true self is your thoughts and your appearance shouldn't define you" which to me still allows for room for that trans interpretation

Even after they "win" and stop the forced surgeries, in the following "extras" book that's set around a different character, people continue to get surgeries all the time, it's just more customizable and up to them. So body modifications are very normalized. I think there's nuance to it of course and there is still that underlying body horror element of all these crazy surgeries, but I do think it's neat to see a dystopian future that doesn't exclude queer expression. I think it would be interesting to follow a trans character in this universe... maybe not written by scott westerfeld but like, if a trans person has their oc and wants to write a little fanfic. I would read it.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The Neighbor

A/N: Gif isn't mine. If you're the creator, please let me know so I can give you the credits.

Pairing: John Wick X Reader

Word count: 2.2K

Requested by: @massive-freaking-fox

{“My new neighbor is simultaneously the scariest and nicest people I’ve met.” But with John Wick and reader? Like the reader is his new neighbor and kinda a slow burn after she gets over being intimidated by him?? Idk I like all things fluffy and that sounds like a good one}

{John Wick Masterlist}

×

The wind messes with your hair, making a shiver roll down your spine. Pulling your feet up on the small, wooden table you have on the front garden of your house, you can't help but stare at the bigger, larger house beside your own. But it's not the house itself that gets your undivided attention. It's the owner. The man with the weirdest routine you ever knew. You've seen him, messy hair, playing with his dog, but also in an impeccable dark suit, hair slid back. When you see him like that, he's gone for a while. Days, weeks.

The look in his eyes used to scare you. You had the feeling that his stare alone was enough to make people shake like a leaf, surrender everything they own.

You remember the first time you laid eyes on him. Taylor, the only friend you had made back then, since you moved here, asked for your company on a morning walk. She lives down the street, so you joined her when she passed by your place. A few steps and something caught your eye. You saw him moving inside, through the windowpane, and for some reason, you stopped, shamelessly staring. He was facing away, his strong, muscular back everything you could see.

“(Y/N),” Taylor called you. “Oh.” She mumbled once she noticed what you were looking at. “That's Mr. Wick. I don't know the first name. He's not very social.”

The man turned around and you involuntary held your breath. The way his dark hair fell on his face, hiding his eyes made you give a step back.

“Hey,” Taylor called you once more, snapping a finger in front of your face. “I know he's hot, but I can't believe you're already daydreaming.”

“What?” You finally looked away, eyes now focusing on your friend. The feeling you had was far from what Taylor suggested, but it was still unnamed. “I wasn't daydreaming. Let's get moving.” When you started walking again, you couldn't help but give one last look. And you felt like hit by a car when you got him already staring, straight at you.

The memory makes you shiver more than the wind, which gets colder every passing minute. The sun is setting, and soon it'll be dark. But you're still looking at the house, which it's empty. Mr. Wick. John Wick, left more or less a week ago, dressed to impress as usual. Your mind floats back to the day he told you his first name, the day when he didn't make any effort to hide he was interested in you.

The accidental meeting happened a few weeks after the first time you saw him, after a handful of times that you bumped into each other on the sidewalk. He always smiled kindly and greeted you with a good morning or a good evening. But on that particular night, after you left Taylor's house and started making the way back home, a storm broke loose and the sky fell on you. You had been feeling ill all day, but chose not to give much thought about it. But then, under the cold, heavy rain, you had to focus on keeping your legs working. Bracing yourself, you groaned when your foot slipped, making you fall, your arm hitting the ground hard.

“Damn it.” You muttered, the loud noise of a car stopping suddenly getting your attention. The rain clouded your vision as a blur moved towards you, and arms pulled you up, back to your feet.

“Miss (Y/L/N).” He had said. “Are you alright?”

You could only nod, the words caught in your throat because you were aware of how close to his body he was holding you. Mr. Wick stood tall, way taller than you, like a tower. You didn't want to, but the cold was taking over, and your body collided against his, seeking some warmth. “I'm ok.” You lied, looking up and meeting those dark eyes, as dark as the night that surrounded both of you. That time you noticed he was much older than you and the proximity allowed you to feel the muscles under the suit. You couldn't help but feel intimidated, suddenly so small and fragile.

“Come. Let me drive you home.” Mr. Wick guided you to his car, opening the passenger door and helping you in. You were feeling terribly dizzy, so you didn't complain.

“I-I live on the house next to yours.” You said, shaking like a leaf. “On the left.”

“I know.” He answered, giving you a worried look.

Once he stopped by your house, you opened the door and started making the way to the front door, thankful to reach the porch that offered shelter from the rain, but not from the cold. You searched for the keys, but soon enough you remembered you had left them at Taylor's, on her kitchen table. Alongside your phone.

“Shit.” You whispered to yourself, looking over your shoulder, seeing that Mr. Wick was still standing there, in the rain, as if waiting for you to get in.

You didn't quite understand why you felt so scared of him when he had been nothing but gentle to you on every single occasion you happened to meet. But the very sight of him sends a wave of nervousness through your body. Mr. Wick walks, talks, and even breathes like he hides something, a secret, dark and dangerous. Or maybe it was just the cold and the dizziness messing with your head.

“You may go, Mr. Wick. I... I will have to get back to my friend's. I forgot the keys.” You told him, pushing the wet hair away from your face. “And my phone.”

“I won't let you go back there in this weather. You're clearly feeling sick.” Mr. Wick walked over you, reaching out his hand. “Come to my house. I'll make something warm for you to drink and you can use my phone to call your friend.”

Your answer would be no, obviously. But a flash of bright lightning crossed the sky, followed by a rumble of deafening thunder, which, it seems, was loud enough to open up the skies and strengthen the rain, if that was even possible. “I promise I only want to help.” He said, and that made you nod and step forward, taking his hand.

Mr. Wick had an arm around your waist during the short walk to his house. You breathed out, relieved for the warmth when you stepped in. While he disappeared into the house, you seated on the coffee table instead of the couch, since you were soaking wet. He was quick to bring you a towel and a tea, handing you his cellphone. But for some reason, Taylor wouldn't pick up, so you had no choice but to hand Mr. Wick his phone back. It seemed like the whole Universe was against you that night.

“She won't answer.” You said feeling his fingers brushing on yours when he took the phone from your cold, shaking hand. Looking up, you noticed he changed into dry clothes. Jeans a white T-shirt. He looks handsome, as he always does. There must be a reason for him not to have a girlfriend or anyone in his life. There must be a catch, a plot twist somewhere here. Someone looking like Mr. Wick must have a long trail of hearts wanting to belong to him. “I'm sorry, Mr. Wick, for all the trouble I'm causing you.”

“You may call me John.” He said, sitting on the couch before you. You didn't know why, but it came out to you that he moved like a predator, steady and always in full alert. But his voice was kind, low and calming. He knew you were scared of him, of course, he did. Nothing goes unnoticed by him.

“You may call me (Y/N), then.” You muttered, sipping on your tea.

“A pretty name for a pretty lady.” The compliment made you smile, looking down to hide your blushing cheeks. “I can give you dry clothes. Until you get to contact your friend.”

And so he did. Mr. Wick... John... Gave you one of his sweatpants and shirt, and you changed off of your soaking clothes. You felt stupid, ugly, in his baggy clothes, bracing yourself as if trying to disappear as you made your way back to the living room, ignoring how cold the floor was under your bare feet. John's eyes lingered for a while, as you walked over him, taking a seat on the couch, keeping a distance.

“May I... May I ask what do your work with, Mr... John.” You corrected yourself and he smiled. The question only came up because the silence was as intimidating as him. Any kind of conversation would help, you thought.

“I'm retired.” He simply said. “What about you?”

“I'm an office administrator. From a... An office that sells medical equipment.” God, you sounded like an idiot. You felt so small, tiny, compared to him. And ugly, set side by side with him. From this up close, his handsomeness was shocking, breathtaking. The way his eyes were set on you made you shiver, clearing your throat, you tried to push the words out. “I just started though... I just moved here two months ago.”

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

His question got you by surprise, and you looked up, meeting his intense eyes. “No. I just...” A humorless laugh left your lips, and you pushed the hair away from your face. “I must look so bad in these.” You gestured at yourself, and then to him. “And you're just... More. I mean...”

You froze when you felt his hand on your face, fingertips running across your jaw, leaving a trail of fire. “I think you look beautiful. Even on my baggy clothes.”

You suddenly realized you wanted to kiss him. The sudden change was a surprise, and you were perplexed with yourself. The fear was slowly sinking, opening a new space, which was being filled with something else. Curiosity. A sudden need to know why John was touching you so gently, why he was saying those things. You felt your body moving closer to him, almost as if being pulled involuntary, like a magnet. You wanted to touch him, to know how he's beard would feel under your fingers, but you didn't know if you could.

“Can-can I...” You stuttered, biting your tongue. How was it possible, that your mind worked in such a weird way? That all of a sudden, you wanted him, the man you've been trying to avoid? You were a mess that night, threatening to fall apart right before him.

John took your hand, softly, bringing it to his lips and placing a kiss on your fingers, as soft as silk. You felt his stubble, eyes fixed of the shape of his lips. “You don't have to be so nervous around me, (Y/N),” John said, his voice barely a whisper. “And, if you want, I'd like to take you out on a date.”

“You want to take me out?” You repeated, speaking too fast, trying to understand why in the hell would a man like John wants to go on a date with a girl like you. It didn't make sense, and you had this feeling that trying to understand would only lead to a dead end.

“I do.” You muttered because there was no other possible answer. Another kiss came, this time on your cheek, dangerously close to your lips.

A car approaching drags you away from the warm memory, and you're finally able to avert your eyes from his house. You miss him, and somehow looking at the empty house makes you feel a little better. He did take you out, on the next night. And you have been to several dates by now, too many to count.

“My neighbor is simultaneously the scariest and nicest person I ever met.” You told Taylor on the day after your second date with John Wick. She laughed and you blushed, because on the night before, John kissed you by your front door, for the first time. You had to tiptoe, despite the high heels you were wearing, your arms quick to pull him closer, welcoming his touch.

“Are you in love with him?” She asked, smirking.

“I think I am.” You admitted on a low voice.

John Wick was a patient man. He waited, he worked hard to make you feel comfortable around him. And he succeeded.

Today, you smile to yourself. The intimidation John caused completely replaced by love. The kind of love you never thought you'd feel, the kind you didn't even know existed.

“Sweetheart.” A voice reaches you, carried by the wind. Immediately, you put your feet down and stand up, turning to find John, stepping out of his car.

“My love.” You run into his embrace, arms wrapping around his neck as you tiptoe to kiss him, his soft lips suddenly making the cold leave your skin. “I missed you so much. If I knew you'd come back today I'd cook something nice for you.” Whispering, you don't step away from his embrace.

“That's even better because now I can help you.” His deep, strong voice still sends shivers down your body, but for a very different reason now.

“Let's go then.” Smiling to him, you entangle your fingers on his, following his pace to his house.

The place that once terrified you now feels more like home than your own. As does John. In his arms, you find solace, safety, unending love.

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 09/28 NXT 09/30 NXT UK 10/01 Smackdown 10/02 Takeover 31 10/04

Raw:

*bell rings*, *Asuka runs straight at her opponent*, *gets punched once by some weak ass looking shot*, *collapses uselessly* PPPFFFFTTTTTTTT

I hate that elbow kick off thing Zelina does. Becky used to have a hold like that in nxt. Hated it then, too. Awful.

That hurricanrana where Zelina fell on her ass, though. Wow. Okay.

Is it just me that thought the modified grounded octopus took awhile to cinch in? That was in for so long lol.

Why are women barely jumping for these german suplexes lately?

Omg that one-armed suplex by Asuka was great.

That kickout by Asuka was incredibly well done. What a perfect stretch with perfect timing. Zelina even tucked the left arm. Points.

Oh nice didn’t know Zelina could do a moonsault. And right onto the knees so the Asuka lock can be set in. Nice. Good ending.

That was better than their Clash match, and Zelina showcased different things, even if I wasn’t a fan of some of it.

Ah the debut of Mandy and Dana as a tag team.

I really like Lana and Nattie together.

Oh wow decisions that make sense and are building toward something. What alternate universe have I stepped into? Please bring back GMs and stop being so lazy, please.

I really don’t understand why they moved these women like weeks before the draft.

Alright let’s swap momentum... it’s time Dana gets some comeback before tagging Mandy.

That full 180 flip Mandy did to Lana was really cool. Not sure if Lana was meant to land on her left knee or flat, but I think it was supposed to injure her left knee. Beautiful.

Points to Lana for the kickout, negative points to Nattie for jumping in after the three.

I wish Dana had hit a bigger move against Natalya at the end.

The pump knee strike by Mandy was a little messy, I would’ve ended it with her other finisher instead. Good match though. Glad to see Dana and Mandy pick up some sort of momentum, especially on their Raw debut.

Also good for Lana not having to go through the table for a week *applause*

Mandy is fine on the mic. It’s not awful, it’s not super compelling; totally serviceable. Dana though... always comes off like she’s acting rehearsed lines or reading off a script.

Nice transition into the next segment. Quarter point.

Whether I like the Bianca video packages or not, it’s always a pleasure to hear her song.

LOVED the incorporation of the hurdles. That’s what I want to see, that shows me an actual challenge. I have no doubt in her strength or speed; I in fact do believe she’s the strongest and the fastest. They just aren’t showcasing that right lol. Give me something more convincing. Girl was jumping over fucking hurdles, that’s convincing.

Highlight: Dana & Mandy vs Lana & Nattie

---

NXT:

Shotzi has too long of an entrance imo.

Dakota Kai is such a spoiled little shit lmao. She’s so annoying. Big fan.

Really didn’t like Shotzi trying to do her ballpit line so early. I really wish she didn’t take so long to set it up as well.

Wow I hate that submission move Shotzi, I’m sorry. Dakota sells it like death though, so she gets a point.

Dakota’s style is way too fast for her to play a slow, methodical heel in the ring. 

A one count lmao ballsy. Love Dakota’s reaction too.

Such a fan of Dakota’s selling.

Chicken wing german suplex into a pin? That was beautiful Shotzi, I agree. Great near fall. 

A common complaint I have with women - even on the main roster - is how they go to do like a spear halfway through the ropes just to set up some counter to their move (kick, a pump kick, the rope hangup Bayley does, Charlotte shooting through the middle to roll you up) and that’s fine, but it’s always easily telegraphed. Step up please @ everyone.

oof that landing by Dakota; hit her face right on Shotzi’s knee.

What does Dakota call that kick, Scorpion or something? On the apron? Awesome stuff.

Holy shit that... flipping backdrop - (?) I don’t even know what to call that - on the apron was amazing, but holy shit Shotzi that landing was terrible. The concept is there but man you might wanna practice/modify that one a bit more.

Cool Rhea came down to fuck with Raquel, distracting Dakota, but the rollup was weak. Also weak that Rhea merely pushed Raquel into the steps once before walking back. Good match though.

Stalemate after a bunch of pin attempts with zero offense. Could live without these spots tbh.

Very close range kick, could’ve been set up far better.

Li rolls out of the ring, heel 101.

Kacy you can’t just yell at Kayden to get up lmao plz.

This is the first time I’ve seen any personality from Xia Li.

Ballsy one counts, what’s with the one counts tonight lmao.

Kacy is a bad cheerleader, just getting that out there.

I love that roll through + side kick combo Kayden does.

Whoa idk how Kayden pulled that win out of her ass, but good for her. I can see this is pushing Xia deeper into frustration every loss. Won’t complain about it, love to see Kayden win. Good, short match. A rollup works here.

Highlight: Dakota vs Shotzi

---

NXT UK:

I love Xia Brookside’s music, but not with her or her entrance.

Now Jinny’s entrance/wardrobe/demeanor matches her music.

Sure Xia Brookside’s rolls were quick, but I’m not understanding why she rolled sideways lmao it’s like Link in Zelda.

If you’re not going to add an actual crowd or monitors, get rid of the hairdryer fans. If I can’t see them, and more importantly they don’t exist, then I don’t want to hear them.

Too many wrist locks. Also refs getting involved for no logical reason, just so the heel can take advantage, is annoying. 

That back drop onto Jinny’s knee was ugly, hated the collapse. Took the impact out of it for me.

Nasty Irish Whip, points to both.

Nice flip off the hurricanrana.

Botched monkey flip. Perhaps Jinny didn’t think there was enough room for her to comfortably land; had she went for it and tucked her legs she definitely would’ve been fine. Feel like that was an amateur mistake, plenty of women would’ve just sold it with their legs getting caught up.

That was weird. Xia Brookside goes through all that trouble just to make sure she hit the monkey flip, just to lift Jinny’s head so Jinny could punch her. Weak.

Kick out was sloppy.

Xia Brookside is gassed and isn’t even doing any offense. Or selling. This match is odd. This would get booed on the MR.

Jinny stops to talk too much while wrestling. Obviously stalling. The dialogue isn’t even good for all of that noise.

Whatever. A match I could’ve lived without.

Lmao bow down? Queen of NXT UK?? Girl.... uh uh. Nah nah nah Go sit down.

Highlight: There was an Irish Whip into the corner that looked impactful

---

Smackdown:

Alexa’s pyro was better timed than last week, but it could use improvement. This is important to me damn it.

You know Alexa, my spine feels cold and my body goes numb every time I smoke my weed. Has anyone asked this girl if she’s on drugs? Could just be drugs.

Kevin/wwe, I don’t need you to tell me she’s brainwashed. WE CAN SEE that she’s brainwashed. This has been escalating for like... 2 months lmao.

The hairdryer crowd being piped in kinda ruins this. This is set up like a scene from a horror movie and the noise is taking away from it. A live crowd probably would’ve stayed silent for her, you could’ve lessened the mass effect.

Love how she just sits there watching Kevin pace around. That’s good. She’s good. Love how Kevin knew she was calling to the Fiend with that line. That’s good. This is good.

She sits there poised and unafraid, yet intrigued with him. Like his queen.

The power of this angle and the fate of it succeeding lies solely on Alexa and her selling of it. If she doesn’t sell this or believe in it, or fucks up once, it shatters the entire mystique. Man I’m a huge fan of this story rn.

Glad I didn’t bother guessing who this mysterious woman was. The glitz and glamour has got nothing compared to the moonwalking, trashtalking, Princess of Staten Island.

Love the rainbow on the polaroid camera though.

Decent enough promo but that music was awkward.

Why did y’all make Sasha just stand out there shifting her feet staring at the hard cam lol.

This is all solid Sasha but like Bayley already admitted all of this lmao.

Yes, we know you saved her title like 15 times, we ALL agree with you.

I actually like the emotion written all over Sasha’s face that comes across as ALMOST awkward.

What I don’t like about this feud: Sasha’s still an asshole, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to buy her as a babyface in like 3 weeks. She has the sympathy vote in a meta sense, sure, and I’ve been saying I want her to run SD on her own since November 2019, but that doesn’t mean she’s automatically a babyface within kf. Also annoying that they haven’t had a brawl that ends on equal footing, via interruption by officials or something. Also not sure how much I buy the character of Bayley being “too scared” to come to SD. If I could’ve gotten a quick interview by her, even if it’s her leaving the arena just as she finds out Sasha has arrived, that would’ve tied this together better.

Why she still staring at the hard cam lmao. Walk away. Leave. Make your exit. Alright whatever.

Highlight: Alexa becoming the Fiend’s queen

---

Takeover 31:

Man true, I forget Io has beat both Charlotte and Sasha this year. What a big year for her.

Love how this entire “arena” is set up, but my covid-paranoia does not approve.

Lol that one single guy trying to start a chant, goodbye.

BEAUTIFUL corrected monkey flip by Io

The attempt at the springboard by Candice was there. Could’ve been cleaner.

Good transition having Candice counter Io into a backstabber in the corner, cuz that offense was taking way too long to set up.

Commentator attributed Candice being slow in the beginning because she’s sad Johnny lost. Tired of the Garganos being tied to each other.

Why is every female heel on every brand dragging people’s eyes/face across the ropes all of the sudden?

It was not a nice move, she needs to stop doing her poor woman’s version of Natural Selection. Done.

Y’all are losing me, give Io some momentum plz.

Every single heel wants to go slow and methodical. Ridiculous. Where’s Sasha.

This was not paced well, ESPECIALLY compared to their first match. Their first didn’t breathe enough and was a sprint with not enough selling, but it was still really good. This is paced on the complete opposite spectrum. And not good.

Io has the best dropkick in the division, especially when you consider how safe her landing is for her own body’s longevity.

Totally no sold that powerbomb, Io. That’s a yikes.

Lmao Io kicked out of Candice’s springboard moonsault. Haha.

Got a meteora, 2 backstabbers, and a crossface... again, where’s Sasha???

Lmfao 2 ref bumps and a fake referee. GOD I HATE HOW WOMEN’S MATCHES ARE BOOKED THIS YEAR. The first bump didn’t even look legit.

Io took a title shot to the face yet kicked out, and y’all out here calling Becky “Cena” for kicking out of a chair shot to the midsection? Annoying.

I’m now convinced Charlotte has the best Spanish fly in the entire women’s division.

Rich having Toni do a promo directly aimed at Io, considering Toni beat her to win the MYC. Also rich how unbothered Io seemed lmao.

Ahhh the nxt women’s champion that should’ve won her title by defeating Asuka. We remember her well. Injured herself chasing the 24/7 title back when they were running the Becky/Charlotte vs Sasha/Bayley feud. Good times.

Highlight: Io’s theme song

---

*NXT shined the brightest out of all the other shows, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t give major props to specifically Alexa Bliss.

[as-be-low]

I got tagged by @impishnature! Thank youuu! :D :D :D

Do This: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or as little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they are working on. This can be anything!

Hmmm okay I have like FOLDERS UPON FOLDERS full of ideas for Gravity Falls alone that I’m gradually fleshing out, so I guess that can be considered “working on,” right?

1.) Currently typing up the first half of the next chapter for THCM! It’s hella long and I’m both excited about it and kicking myself over it. It’s super cute and there will be fluff, including:

The leprecorn

Ford cuddling babies

Bathtime feat. the leprecorn

I’m feeling a little bit stuck, because I know where I’ve planned for it to go since the beginning, and to plant the seeds for that, they’d have to be planted now, but I’m second guessing myself about it for some reason. IDK. I might be at an impasse, or I might just chug on ahead.

2.) Forensic Ford AU! This story feels like a crime mystery-type-thing, and I feel like I have to have COMPLETELY planned out, no winging it because of the nature of planting clues here and there to have to reference from. (…Does that even make sense?) So right now, I’m hammering out the clues our hopeless heroes have to work with. :B

I will say that Ford and Stan get into an argument and Stan storms out, ends up missing.

Ford would be so distraught and think it was his fault

A week or so later another body would turn up mutilated with the same build as stan

Ford would be inconsolable for like a month

He'd go back to work and be like "I have to analyze the body. I have to." And would like be ugly crying a little bit at one point and someone would try to pull him away and he'd fight them

He'd run out laughing a few hours later and they'd be like "okay he's lost it" and try to hold him down but he's just like "it's not him! It's a John Doe!" And grab fiddleford who was there as emotional support and like cup his face and fiddleford would fuckin faint because ford is still wearing gross ass dirty latex gloves

He'd have to calm down and prove it (dental records, a break on the bone that should be there but isn't, etc, plus decomposition denotes a time of death that doesn't line up with when stan went missing)

Also stan shows up pissed off eight days after that of his own accord. Ford punches him on sight and stan punches back and then spends the rest of the night grumbling about it.

he had gotten roughed up up a LOT and he had to break out AGAIN and then make it back to stupid assfuck Tennessee and then THIS was the hello he gets??

“Stan why didn't you just call”

It didn't seem reasonable at the time. I got kicked in the head a lot, okay? he parts his hair to show the large gash that may be getting infected. fiddleford all but passes out, the poor squeamish bastard. somebody probably says that as he leaves the room. “poor squeamish bastard.” stan is still pissed about being beaten and lowkey tortured only to break out and get punched in the face by his brother. his nose was broken and now it’s broken even worse. he has two fresh black eyes in the morning. ford feels bad for his “crime of passion” and stan just rolls his eyes like “next time just finish the job and get me with a nail bat, would ya? it’s more efficient.” “stanley, that isn’t funny.” “who said I was playin’, asshole?” that asswhooping really does a number on him, and mixed with the extra punches, they send him to the hospital, where they check over all of his other poorly-healing injuries (broken ribs, broken wrist, compound fractured foot (“and you WALKED here?” “what other choice did I have? Would you pick me up as a hitchhiker?”), bruised liver and lung, and untreated concussion. 

Poor Stan.

3.) I’ve also got the plans for a sequel to He Himself sitting on the backburner! I’d intended for that to be a one-shot, but someone made a good point and it kinda just spiraled, and ultimately the Stans are dweebs who keep messing with time and concepts they have no business fiddling with by going back and back and back, and yeah. They’re getting sentenced to Globnar. Of course they are. Whether or not either of them want any of the possible outcomes to come to fruition is debatable.

4.) I got inspired by Coheed’s Domino the Destitute and now I have the bones for something that follows in the vein of that song. I don’t know exactly what’s gonna happen yet, but I do know that it’ll likely be called “While You Were Left with Nothing.” It might just devolve into a collection of songfics for a genre I’m pretty sure no one in this fandom even likes but that also sounds like a problem I’m not particularly concerned with. It is SUCH a Pines Twins Classic song, so if anyone knows it, please come gush with me over it pleasepleaseplease

5.) I’ve also got this REALLY, REALLY angsty idea for a story where a Portal Ford stumbles his way into a parallel Earth dimension and finds himself heading for Gravity Falls, just for the heck of it. He doesn’t like what he finds in the least.

6.) I also have this long, drawn-out file that’s a compilation of ideas for a collection of one-shots that focus on different ways the A Better World universe(s) could have gone. 99.999% of them are just SAD ENDINGS BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I OPERATE, but one in particular (which is of course the longest outline/ficlet to date) has the potential for a happy ending, if you’ll forgive the messy formatting (I write and keep these on my phone):

Another stan gets into a yelling match with his ford, which stops after he tells him to do the first worthwhile thing in his life. Stan snatches the journal and storms out at that. Ford stabilizes everything after a while, maybe two or three years, and reaches out to his brother again, asks him to come again. stan comes, gaunt and nervous looking, expecting another errand. is stunned when no request is made. is itching to leave after a short time, “before… before I, y’know…” “before you what?” “Before I can mess something else of yours up.” He makes good on his own suggestion, and bounces soon after. Ford calls him again, but is met with polite noncommittal responses towards ever coming back. It’s like he’s afraid of ford. maybe he read the journal. maybe he should be afraid of ford. his calls get less and less frequent, and their tone becomes more and more stilted. Ford doesn’t know what to do. He calls him again to let him know shermy was having grandkids, that he’d expressed that he wanted stan to be there. “he doesn’t mean that, ford. Nice gesture, though.” “stanley, he does want you there. don’t say that.” “I’m a stranger to his son. he doesn’t want some stranger there with him ’n his wife at the birth of his first kid. Ma ’n Pa’ll probably be there, too, ’n we know I’m not welcome there then.” he calls back to let him know the babies are twins. stan hangs up. Extra angst if Filbrick’s dead at this point and nobody told him. Ford’s calls go unanswered. after a few  years of occasional, unanswered calls every few months, ford gives up. The kids go up for a summer visit. Mabel finds out Ford has a twin, digs through and finds the number and calls INCESSANTLY. Stan answers, but he’s not happy about it at all. Mabel works her magic and insists he comes to Oregon to meet her. They have a long talk about what went wrong. Stan finds himself surprised to be pouring his heart out to this stranger of a child, telling her how he messed up ford’s project and ruined his opportunity to get into a good school, and how he just made a big series of mistakes here and there down the years. He’s convinced Ford only talked to him or called him to be nice because he felt he was supposed to.

“I’m not anyone you wanna meet, kid.”

“And now?”

“what?”

“what do you do now?”

“taxi driver.”

“oooh!”

“Look kid, you probably shouldn’t be talking to me. I’m sure Ford doesn’t want you using his phone. Or talking to the likes of me. Aren’t you on summer break? shouldn’t you be outside or something? Aren’t you supposed to be playing outside?”

or better yet, ford’s like uhh kids how about a road trip? because they’re getting absolutely BORED and he wants to be a good summer guardian and let them have fun, I mean dipper’s happy to play DD&MD but mabel gets left out that way and none of her interests are anything Ford knows what to do with/about so she’s spending a lot of the summer knitting (Ford’s put strict stipulations on outdoors and w/e) so there’s not much she can really do?? she’s not allowed in the lab after a near-accident, though dipper still tags along. Ford notices the child growing listless and doesn’t know what to do about it, so by the point it’s reached a concerning high, he’s grasping at straws for ideas and some intern is like “my family always did road trips?” and he latches onto that. mabel’s scrapbook has turned remarkably dull, like she’s taking pictures of leaves and squirrels she sees on the porch and the trees and dipper’s pile of sweaty socks and everything is just so mundane but she’s trying really hard to make it sound exciting in the scrapbook and if ford ever finds it wow he’d feel so guilty

so they roadtrip and it’s hella awkward and since he’s doing this kinda for mabel even though she’s never expressed any desire to go on a road trip, he lets her kinda guide the itinerary? she picks wherever stan is living.

ford find mabel’s little cell phone or whatever and she’s been messaging stan and ford reads through it and is like “who is this G. S. with 9 heart eye emojis” and is ready to go kick some little punk’s ass but then he reads further and realizes it’s Stanley and he also seems to have no idea what she’s up to (and has said “kiddo, you can’t meet me. just cuz you know i’m your grunkle (ha! I like that name! Grunkle. it’s got a nice ring to it) doesn’t mean you gotta come visit. please don’t visit. I’m nobody you wanna see.” and she’s like okay fine I promise” though yeah that’s obviously a lie. he doesn’t know whether to confront her or not. obviously he should, but that opens the can of worms of why/how didn’t he even know where his brother was (stanley moved & got a new number and the last time ford tried to call the old number was disconnected) vs. how did SHE know “mabel, how did you find his number??” and “why won’t you let me meet my other grunkle?? HE’S SAD AND LONELY WHY DON’T YOU EVER VISIT HIM HE’S YOUR TWIN” etc

maybe mabel sent him a postcard right before they set off, so he’s texting her repeatedly like

“kid. kid, where are you? please don’t do anything stupid. please don’t be alone, I don’t know what I’d do if you got hurt on account of the likes of me.”

and that’s as far as I got, but then yeah there’s gonna be a happy reunion of course.

7.) I also have thank you cards to write and mail and just regular post cards, and also pen pal letters that are like OVER A YEAR OVERDUE BECAUSE I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON WHY AM I LIKE THIS ALSO WHERE IS MY FANCY INK BOTTLE I JUST BOUGHT

8.) I’ve also got a little AU ficlet set after Weirdmageddon and Stan still has amnesia (Mabel’s scrapbook didn’t really work like they’d hoped.) Ford finds that he doesn’t have the heart to tell his brother the sad things about their lives so he just makes up happy, sweet little lies to fill Stan’s head with because he just can’t bring himself to hurt him and Stan doesn’t question it or think to wonder why after a certain point he’s no longer in any pictures.

Stan starts to remember his life via nightmares, which he just chalks up to being regular nightmares. He doesn’t want Ford to know he’s having them because they’ve always been such a happy, average family, right? It would be out of place for him to have…such awful, graphic nightmares. And it was bad enough that his brain was fuzzy and he couldn’t remember things so good, especially when Ford was so smart! 12 PhDs? Their family must’ve been so proud. He was so proud. It was bad enough Ford had gotten saddled with such a dumb…cousin? No, they were brothers. He couldn’t even remember he had a brother.

His nightmares get increasingly worse and at some point turn into flashbacks/night terrors and the most violent ones he relives send Ford into a panic. He didn’t know about THIS. Ford is wholly unprepared for firsthand experience of what Stan went through, and Stan is nearly mute about it all and refuses to talk because he’s ashamed of all the freaky dreams; Ford shouldn’t have to deal with any of this! Maybe he should just put him in a home, or something. He didn’t wanna hold him back, or anything. He’s not sure why Ford looks so heartbroken when he said that.

9.) This idea note’s just short and simple enough to stand on its own:

one-shot where Ford spends an evening demolishing the stan-o-war after the “incident.”

Call it “The Wind out of My Sails”

I imagine him having stolen a cigarette or something to watch the ship burn with.

10.) I’ve also got an idea for a sort of Southern Gothic AU where Mrs. McGucket is something of folk healer that may or may not dabble in the occult, which leads to all sorts of monster hunting shenanigans, with added kudzu action. Maybe the real monster was the friends we made along the way lol

...Hmm, that’s a lot and that’s super long, so I should probably stop right there while I’m ahead, haha!

I taaaaag,  @themindofcc ,  @thefaceofhoe , @icefeels , @vermeerdear , @ancientouroboros , @femmeofthesouthernwild , and anyone else who’s jonesin’ to do this! (Tag me back! I’m always curious about what other folks are writing! :D)